#*he wouldnt even want to be the ruler he would hate it so fucking much*

[engagemythrusters]

begging solely-The Mandalorian fans to find another piece of Mandalorian lore/culture/history/etc to talk about other than a now-defunct laser sword used to keep one asshole family in power

#literally the VIZSLAS kept the myth of the darksaber to say that whoever weilds TARRE VIZSLAS SABER (that the VIZSLAS stole) is IN POWER #and yall genuinely think it is a legitimate form of government #DIN DJARIN IS NOT THE 'RIGHTFUL' RULER ITS LITERALLY JUST SOME DUDES SABER #*he wouldnt even want to be the ruler he would hate it so fucking much* #'but that's what would make him a good--' listen to me. if you think someone should be in charge that DOES NOT WANT TO BE IN CHARGE #that is STUPID #and YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD #that doesnt make good leaders that makes people fucking miserable all around. fiction lied to you about that sorry. #ANYWAY CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE #LIKE THE FACT THAT MANDALORIANS ARE *GREAT* WITH TBIs #AND I SUSPECT THAT EXTENDS TO OTEHR DISABILITIES TOO #BASED ON THE REASONS SURROUNDING IT #ahem sorry #i just fucking HAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE those posts i get recommended #i wont make another mean post like this again im just ANNOYED #star wars: the mandalorian

[sheeepdog]

Kind of a dissection of the c!dream smp folx and their viewpoints?? Yea

Almost every memeber involved in the primary plot of Dream smp, is in fact, selfish.

Not a single Character can, or refuses, to understand a perspective different from their own.

Most notably, Tommy and Techno refuse to understand each other’s side, which although could be shoved in a closet and shut for a considerable amount of time, eventually breaks out through a catalyst, and tears them apart.

Techno is right! He has been seen solely as a weapon by every member on the L’manberg side dubbed "The Blade" unwillingly and has been taken advantage of for his skill and blood god tendencies. Techno has always been upfront with his intentions, never ignoring them, and has never truly done an act of betrayal. Government can be bad, and in his eyes, chaos is the only answer to this.

Tommy is also right! He is a child abused by years of political warfare, manipulation, and has grown into intense trust issues, needing attention, and extreme loyalty and protection to those he deems worthy of it. Tommy never dreamed of siding with techno when his home was destroyed by him on November 16th. But when Tommy came to his lowest point ever, he crawled his way to the only protection he knew, his brother. Like I said, Tommy and techno could sweep their political views aside for the time being, and I’d like to believe that they really loved each other’s company. Tommy’s helmet, sneaking into L’manberg, being deemed "worthy" of the Axe of Peace, Tommy put the past behind him. I think that when Tommy told techno that he betrayed him again today, it wasn’t necessarily from his home being destroyed in totality. It was that he let himself trust techno again, and his brother hurt him. Just like every other brother he’s had. Just like his father. Tommy is allowed to be upset at everyone for ignoring him in exile, and while I’m sure that some of the peoples intentions when seeing him weren’t pity, they only visited him once and never again. Quackity simply came to make fun of him, not consoling him when he clearly needed friends. He’s right when he says he was abandoned, and if Tubbo missed him so much, he should have gone and seen him.

Tubbo struggles with being president, being completely destroyed by others comparisons to the first President of L’manberg, and his manipulator. He’s been kept under the thumb of Dream since his country has been rebuilt, and has no other option but to comply with exiling his best friend when pushed too far in one direction. Tubbo wanted to see Tommy in exile. He realized it was a mistake. But Tommy never fully disclosed to Tubbo what happened to him in exile. Instead of understanding, Tubbo gets angry when he realizes that Tommy is still alive. Tommy gets upset that Tubbo never visited him. Tommy says some things that root from anger and abandonment, that were meant for someone else who wears a mask and holds tnt in one hand and obsidian in the other. Tubbo was never graced with the knowledge of Tommy’s exile trauma, and therefore can’t know what Tommy’s been though.

Philza refuses to understand Ghostburs pain, simply saying "youll understand one day", instead of consoling his son who has to pay for the destruction of his home and belongings his father caused in favor of his brother, who worked for peace and love and was met with the cold response of his father not even apologizing nor sympathizing his sons pain. He can’t put his own anarchism ideals to the side for a second to allow his son to FEEL.

Niki is left behind. She’s talked over, had everything stolen from her, has her kindness used as a weapon against herself, and has been met with nothing but harshness from the people she gave love to. She has a right to be angry. She has a right to hate Tommy.

Ranboo is seen as a traitor to the country that he never sought alliance to. He’s seen as an indecisive amnesiac who can’t understand the basic concept of a country (when in reality he does, and he still doesn’t care) ((If you ask me, Ranboo is right. You should chose people, not countries. ))

Most of these problems stem from c!Tommy, we can all agree. Tommy is tunnel visioned, and has been purely seeking the discs for quite a long time. The thing is, that if people just TALKED, to one another, maybe L’manberg wouldnt be gone right now.

These people are selfish.

If Tommy realized that techno is tired, and wants to be seen as a friend more than a weapon, that Tubbo deserves to be a kid again, just like himself, that Niki deserves fucking respect, and that ranboo isn’t a traitor for having friends, then maybe L’manberg would still be here.

Techno doesn’t fully understand Tommy’s trauma, and is concerned only with the destruction of government (which frankly shouldn’t have been built right in front of him), to which would never have affected him in retirement. He doesn’t understand Tubbo trying his best to lead the country handed to him at too young of an age, but instead sees him as a ruler of a government, therefore he =bad.

Niki doesn’t know that Tommy went through absolute hell in exile, that he wasn’t going to be there for the festival if things got any worse, and that he is genuinely trying to be better.

These people are selfish. While their causes matter, they will never look at the other side. They will never understand why there’s conflict, why someone is angry with them. And that’s why we will always have interpersonal conflict between almost every character on the smp. They all refuse to cast their own views aside, to understand how others are affected by their actions (aside from Niki, I don’t think she’s ever done anything wrong on the server)

President Wilbur used to have a rule, a law in place for dignity and integrity. To always fight violence with words. You see what happens when you hold a sword, a wither skull, a parcel of tnt, rather than the hand of your opposite.

#dreamwastaken #dreamsmp #dream smp #tommyinnit #tubbo_ #ranboo #wilbur soot #not happy with today at all #everyone’s acting was absolutely fantastic #all of the shoots were hilarious too #everyone say thank you to every content creator involved

[jyndor]

Love how everyone is being ignorant to the timeline. It wouldnt make sense for Ezra to show up. Kylo Ren/Ben isnt born yet or is a baby, which this one is driving me the most crazy, but no Kylo didnt/doesnt kill Baby Grogu. And so many ppl think the boba fett series the next season but it isnt. This isnt aimed at you its just. Did anyone pay attention?

thank you for being 1000% correct anon

except iirc ben was born in 5 ABY so technically he's a kiddo but idc you're still right lol

also the boba thing lmfao like I understand the confusion because like "the book of boba fett" and the episodes are called chapters but no! it's clearly a spinoff of some kind, whether it's taika waititi's movie or a miniseries idk and idc but I know that they're not building up to din aragorning the shit out of mandalore in order to cut to boba fett? lol come onnn fandom this is why we cannot have nice things

but the biggest maggot brained take I've seen is what you're talking about wrt grogu being killed by kylo offscreen? no lol no. first off, he's clearly just going to train and then come back to his papa. I mean they have din promising to see him again so??? that wasn't the end of the father/son show. I honestly think it's like, if someone else trained grogu then there wouldn't be this many shit takes lol js

GUYS YODITO IS THEIR CASH COW THEY ARE NOT GONNA YEET HIM FROM THE SHOW HE IS GONNA COME BACK

I haven't seen a lot of ezra fans' takes on the ending since I don't follow a lot of ezra fans. tbh I don't care much about ezra. I like him, he's cool and I like what he brings to the story, but I would never call myself a fan. I get hoping that your fave will show up, I am after all a mara fan and uh wishful thinking has been my modus operandi since disney bought lucasfilm lol. but it just doesn't make any sense for ezra to show up now. first off he's gonna show up in the ahsoka show. two, I hate to say it but he's not luke, he hasn't been tasked with rebuilding the jedi order by fucking yoda.

but I think it's a lot of people who wanted the mandalorian to be totally separated from the main stories and... I get that. that's how the anthologies were supposed to go (and only rogue one held to that).

I don't agree but I understand why this season might have felt like too much "fan service" to people who wanted it to be about din and grogu.

but we went into the show without knowing there would even be a baby yoda. like that was just a pleasant surprise.

except fan service is not the same thing as using popular characters. fan service is just using them without any concern for how they work into the story. every character who shows up makes sense in the narrative - bo katan is a mandalorian and knows ahsoka tano. she also expands din's view of what mandalorians are like (for better or for worse). boba fett is not a character I cared about at all until the show tied him in. boba helps din in very much the same way - he learns about different ways mandalorians exist.

these two characters give din more context about his history and yes also help him save the baby. now my theory is that this is kind of like an aragorn situation - that din will go from a bounty hunter to a ruler who is humble and righteous (bo katan is a weird faramir tho).

ahsoka is the only person alive that we know of who trained to be a jedi during the republic, so grogu might have even recognized her.

and I've already talked about why luke has to be the one to train grogu and why I'm so glad the show went in that direction because I honestly didn't think they would.

using these characters doesn't make the galaxy smaller in my opinion. it expands the galaxy of our lead character, din djarin. I think if the show weren't so short or like if the episodes were a bit longer, this might have bothered people a bit less. now I agree that it's also about making disney money with spinoffs, but it works in the story.

the only people who I can understand not liking luke training grogu are kylo ren stans because it sure does suck to see everyone's favorite baby get threatened by their fascist fuckboy lol (even though grogu will not be training by then).

#star wars #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian #grogu #luke skywalker #din djarin #asks #anonymous

[kareofbears]

persona 5 royal: my thoughts after finishing it five minutes ago

disclaimer: the only reason im writing this is because 1) i have a lot of thoughts and feelings that i need to write down and if i dont ill explode and 2) i want to be able to find this when p5s eventually drops so i can compare my thought processes. if you do not agree with what i’m going to say, that’s cool! just block me or ignore this post. 

now for the sake of sanity, i’m going to try and narrow down this entire list into chunks because this’ll probably be very very long and very much about me just screaming about stuff that i liked, loved, and don’t like. i will be spoiling both the original persona 5 and persona 5 royal, obviously, so i hope you finished both!

1) Akechi

so yes. Goro Akechi. Everyone’s favorite murderer. I’m going to by spewing a lot of hot takes, and this is probably going to be the spiciest: i am in the most intense love-hate relationship with this brown haired antagonist because jesus christ is he a complicated son of a bitch. I know i’ve complained in the past about how much Atlus often struggles with utilizing a character well, but that does not at all relate to Akechi in any way, shape, or form. 

I’ll say this now: He is a character I genuinely, truly hate, yet he is the one I want to hear from the most. He is someone who is a bad person (yes, he is a bad person) but whenever he comes on screen he makes me sit up, he makes me pay attention to him because that’s just the aura he exudes. He is a character who i would never, ever waste my time defending or justifying his actions, but every minute joker spends with him is a minute i want to stretch out as long as possible because he is just that good of a character. He is interesting, he is well defined, he is smart, he is clever, he is sassy, he’s a motherfucking asshole who’s never had a vibe check in my life and i still hate him. Goro Akechi is what Star Wars wanted Kylo Ren to be, and that allegory may not make sense to many people but it works for me so i’m saying it. It’s to the point where writing akechi in a fanfic makes me sweat because in my opinon capturing the essence of akechi is near impossible unless you know what you are talking about (i do not mean that in anyway to discourage people from writing him, im just saying that I am a coward because i will never be able to write a good akechi). Anyway, bottom line is: i despise him but my eyes are always glued to him at all times.

back to the main point-- Atlus absolutely nailed this character and every single addition they put in for Akechi. I’m so damn thrilled that you actually have confidant hangouts with him because every single time you talk to him, it services not only the plot, but it perfectly does what it is supposed to do: it makes you like him, but also leaves the player slightly unnerved. they do it so casually that I might have trouble explaining it, but bear with me: everytime you hangout with him, he always does or say something that unhinges you just a little bit, it leaves you asking ‘wait why?’ or ‘but how did you know that’ or ‘why are you saying that?’. akechi is constantly playing mind games with you. and not only that, adding backstory to akechi (moreso than in the original) is just fucking fantastic. he’s always been a fully fleshed out character but after playing royal, goro akechi actually exists in my mind, and i still hate him (but also i dont. but also i do. anyway)

2) the ending

just finished the game and this is the point where i am at odds with p5r for the first time. the ending to p5, in my opinion, was flawless; everything was perfect and had meaning. from the shot of akira being shown to not wearing glasses anymore because he no longer feels the need to wear a mask (character development: he was very unhappy at the beginning of the game and now he’s happy with his friends--i love it), to his friends being the one to drive him home (amazing, he left his home town and came to shibuya alone via transit, and one year later he’s now leaving with all of his best friends in a van they rented just so they could stay with him as long as they can--it’s perfect, i love it), and also all of them seeing how large and infinite the ocean is (because now there’s unlimited options for them because they all have a new perspective on life). 

But....none of that is there in p5r. it feels impersonal. no one drops him off at his hometown, he was still wearing glasses, and there’s no grand metaphor about what they all achieved. 

Now, i am not a (complete) moron. I know why they had to change it: it’s because of persona 5 scramble (i think). they wanted to set up a plot for the next game and i feel like thats the reason why persona 5 royal’s ending suffered for it: they were too focused on the next plot that they forgot to focus on the sentimental ending for p5r. don’t get me wrong, seeing akechi in the train station absolutely made me lose my shit and made me scream at one in the morning, but i think they lost the core meaning in doing the other stuff. i did not like the focus on maruki and kasumi (will be talking about them later), cause i feel like it took away from the ending, and i also didn’t like the fact that the whole joker outfit in the reflection thing (but i will be letting it slide since it was during the after credits anyway). So while i do love one (1) new aspect of the final cut scene, i still adore and stan the one from persona 5. 

3) the entire last semester 

i’ll be quick: the final palace? the best palace. fight me. it’s fantastic, it’s innovative, it’s interesting, and most of all, the palace ruler is actually the best one in the entire game and i know i wont be the only one to say this. maruki is not a villain: i know for a godamn fact that im not the only one to say that i almost agreed with his deal of allowing the reality (damn i almost agreed twice) because why wouldnt you?? it’s literally a perfect reality! the only reason i didnt agree is because i knew the game wouldnt want me to agree and would force me to have the bad ending! anyway, i love the last section so much. the palace design is interesting, the antagonist is brilliant (who doesn’t love a morally gray antagonist?), and finally, the payoff of kasumi happened and it made me silent for ten minutes. the entire reveal of her being sumire and kasumi being dead is just so genuinely shocking to me that it nearly broke my neck.

what actually broke my neck was the initial incident for the third semester. seeing everyone in this wild alternate reality made me so unsettled that i literally got a stomach ache. i saw morgana as a human and nearly passed out. shiho in the underground? wig. ryuji saying he’s on the national pedastal for running? literally my eyebrows just popped off my head. fucking WAKABA? FLATLINED. brilliantly executed and i love the initial akechi and akira buddy cop movie vibes in the beginning it was just so fun. 

one huge part of the third semester for me though, was of course, akechi. seeing him completely throw away his ‘charming ace detective’ speil was the most refreshing and interesting and not to mention, hilarious part of the game. he does not give a fuck about anyone and he is not afraid to let you know. he is the biggest savage and the most insane person on the phantom thieves group. he’ll roast you, he’ll roast your boyfriend, he’ll roast fuckin anyone and it’s fantastic. not to mention his dialogue is killer: he says the most bat shit insults ever and my favorite example is when you go up to him near the end of the game, you know, to hangout with him and be a nice guy, he just does not hesitate to say ‘what, you came just to see me? just the sort of brainless sentimentality i’d expect from you.’ i LOVE IT because why the hell would he try to be nice? the jig is up, he’s got nothing to hide. and he owns it. atlus seriously nailed akechi in this last semester and it’s brilliant and i love it.

4) everything else 

- one small thing that pissed me off in both games (but especially this one) is how many godamn fake out deaths there are. Morgana has one, Akira has one, Ryuji has one, Sojiro has one, Maruki has one, motherfucking Akechi has two. it just hurts me!

- sumire is an amazing character who has depth and she is lovely and my biggest complaint is that it feels like atlus shoved her in. like, she feels like a new addition to the game, you know what  i mean? maybe its because ive played the original p5 first, but you know, it’s not a big deal. but i love her so much

- on the topic of sumire, i cant say that im completely super duper happy with how different she felt from the other thieves? im sure that’ll be explained in p5s but she just got so much screen time that it just truly made me confused?? maybe im just a horrible person, or that’s just a really hot take. but anyway, yeah maybe im bitter because i really wanted to see extra hangouts/school trips during royal, but didn’t really.

-baton pass? literally orgasmic. it made turn base battles so damn fun and the addition of darts and billiards made me foam at the mouth it was SO SMART AND INNOVATIVE AND I LOVE IT ATLUS I LOVE YOU ATLUS YOURE SO SMART SWEETIE

-small thing, but making spells like ‘dormina’ actually useful just made the game so much more fun and dungeon crawling became something i truly, genuinely looked forward to

-being able to give gifts to my bros? absolutely incredible. thank you. side note: seeing akechi happy from giving him a multi vitamin cracked me up. side side note: giving ryuji a fuck ton of weights and him just smiling made my heart so happy i love that boy so much

- ah this game just looked so GOOD! i thought the original looked good but they really went all out. im not kidding, the smallest details in everyday life or even just normal cut scenes were out of this world. especially stuff from the third semester its just OOF good JOB atlus i love you buddy

-ahhh thieves den! how can i forget? i love it. at first i was a bit iffy with it since it really felt like persona 5 (undoubtedly the biggest game atlus has created) was just jacking itself off. but as time goes on, it became a huge addition to the game and seeing characters’ insights and extra lines of dialogue became super duper interesting and a highlight of the game for me. and don’t even get me started on how much i love love love the photos they added of them hanging out! so lovely, a bunch of them made me tear up

- i know it’s literally impossible, but i feel like the game just forgot that akechi is a person who can wield multiple persona and i just wish that could’ve been messed around with during Palaces

- showtimes are so, so crazy and i get so embarassed whenever they play on my tv because they are just outlandish and unashamed but i love them so so much it just defines persona’s personality 

-because i love ryuji: i prefer the final conversation you have with him aka ‘whaddya mean? you’re there’ but there’s still a lot of really tender and sweet moments like akira genuinely telling him that he’ll miss him, and also the fact that ryuji wants you both to send each other your times through the exercise watch so you can still race ahhhh i love him so much yall

so, overall, this game is better than the original p5 because of the extra content we get. if persona 5 was the perfect dinner, persona 5 royal is that same dinner and you get to enter the dessert buffet. it’s brilliant, it’s smart, it’s hilarious, it’s heartwarming, and it’s undoubtedly my favorite game of all time without exaggeration. while i do prefer the final cut scene (and final dialogues with some characters) in the original persona 5, in the overall experience, persona 5 royal is superior in my mind. i would willingly get amnesia to play this game again. 

I didn’t get to cover everything, but this is definitely most of what i wanted to say. if you actually get to reading all the way to the end, thanks! it means a lot. i hope we can all enjoy persona and look forward to persona 5 scramble together :-)

#p5 #persona 5 #p5r #persona 5 royal #mine #such a long post but totally worth it

[raionmimi]

How does Medb and Cu's relationship in Fate interact with the lore of Cu's death being largely at the hands of Medb?

This is gonna be a long post, so rip to everyone that didn’t ask for this on their dash! Sorry! I’ll try to do a tl;dr at the bottom

I keep forgetting to finish Proto Cú’s (or any of the Cú’s) interlude, but it IS set during the time around the war with Medb iirc. His voicelines also mentions that he’s on good terms with his uncle Conchobar, Medb’s abusive ex-husband who sexually assaulted her and basically fucked up for the rest of her life. As far as I remember, there’s not a lot of info saying whether Cú didn’t actually know how his Uncle treated Medb; ignored it/denied it; or if he just considered it normal for a man to do shit like that given that it was the first century or so (and some stories revolving him would be the latter tbh). We do know that Proto Cú was summoned by Misaya becuase of Medb since she specifically wanted a servant that was killed by a woman “That way he would know how scary a woman can be.” Although Medb was not the one to strike him down, but the Grail sees it as her win because of the conditions set

In Caster Cú’s voicelines, his dislikes are Morrigan and Medb because he doesn’t have good memories of either one, and obviously in a war, there wouldnt really be any real winners if you count the losses that will happen on both sides. Coincidentally, Medb Rider is effective against him, so it’s kinda funny to me

In Lancer Cú’s voicelines, he mentions her, along with the other women in his life, and says he wasn’t able to keep their promises to all of them and wanting to be more dependable to them. We actually have no idea what he promised Medb at all, but obviously they’d have to have interacted with each other to have made one in the first place. I always talk about them being childhood friends as a self indulgent fun thing, but…??? They really may have known each other at some point beforehand, and just imagine how furious Medb would be seeing him fight for Conchobar of all people. That would’ve been an ultimate betrayal if we go by my ideas, and I love tragic shit like that. Also note that that Cú fought and killed people that he cared about that were fighting on Medb’s side in the war, but he never fought Medb even when they came across each other on multiple occasions. It always made me wonder why besides his excuse of “I dont like killing women” despite literally killing her handmaiden who was standing near her once. Like was it really sexism and/or was it because of a prior relationship with her?? It honestly could be either but a bitch (me) is curious!!!!

Alter gets annoyed when Medb has her facade, but he’s fine with her when she’s honest and acting like her normal self in America. I’ve mentioned before that he has a strange amount of free will and even makes opinions different than her, but she doesn’t mind. I sometimes feel like he really could’ve just up and walked away if he really wanted to becuase Medb wasn’t really that concerned about his backtalk whatsoever

I talk about this a lot but Summer Medb acting more formal with the presumably Lancer Cú shows that she’s calmer and actually does respect him when she’s face to face with him because she usually acts silly when she’s just talking about him to the player or other characters. Of course, we don’t know his response but given that she just asks “Do you have something to say to me?” it’s probably going to be him being indifferent or chatting casually with her.

Cú doesn’t really hate Medb because it’s not really like either one specifically said “I’m gonna start/partake in a war, just to ruin this person’s day.” He just hates that a lot of people he loved and cared about ended up dying in the war, but honestly, that could’ve happened at ANY point in time because wars happened more often back in those times for political power and glory. It’s just by chance that they were on opposite sides of a war, and really, the war was pretty useless since A: Medb was supposed to get the ox in the first place, and B: Medb DID succeed in getting the ox in the end, but it literally picked a fight with her husband’s ox (which was initially hers but it insisted on being owned by a man instead of a woman, or something strange like that) and died. But Celtic mythology has a lot “And then suddenly weird, somewhat darkly comical death/outcome!!!!” Also not to mention that becuase dudes were fighting in battles and wars all the time, they were often just “today’s enemies are tomorrow’s allies.”

Medb being a ruler, rather than a soldier, would take more offense at him taking down her army because that affects her kingdom and future political decisions she has to make directly. Also, the fact that Conchobar was the one who had control over a weapon of mass destruction is probably the biggest threat Medb could ever feel in her life. So, she smartly chose to lure him into a one-on-one agreement that he’d just fight one of her soldiers a day, and it went on for several months, but sometimes she was just “Yeah let’s just cheat???? This is a war?????” and sent multiple people. This is how she’s technically killed him, but was not the actual one who did it. It makes a lot of sense why she’d target him more than anyone. Not only is he a huge liability to everyone in his warp spasm, but say the words, and Conchobar could’ve probably had him do pretty much whatever. That’s frightening because Cú doesn’t see anything personal about what he does! He will kill anyone if he has to, even though it seems like he purposely avoided contact with Medb.

Overall it’s a little complex because if you put Cú on the Connacht side of the war, now neither of them are put in circumstances where they’re at odds. He doesn’t hate her, but he doesn’t seem to care for her new fakey fake persona because he KNOWS her. He just doesn’t seem to call her out on it though, he just plays along with it. Medb already has her own various factors that affect how she feels about herself, love as a concept, and him specifically. Her hate comes more from a ruler standpoint, but also imagine a hero who could supposedly save everyone, but he wasn’t there to save you when you needed it? Medb, imo, seems to have repressed anger and fear from her trauma because a lot of her choices stem from proving herself as being worthy as a woman and human being, or pushing people she actually likes away because she has insecurities that she doesn’t want to show. She has some trust that she starts putting in the player, but she has a very roundabout way of showing it. She’s always reminded me of how rabbits (or a stoat!!) hide in thickets and briar patches. It’s a good self-defense mechanism, but she can still hurt herself if she’s not careful.

tl;dr: No one is innocent in a war, and Medb and Cú are both morally gray characters in both lore and Nasuverse, even if Cú is generally portrayed as a bro who does nothing wrong. Fate does give bits and pieces on their intertwined history, but you can’t really say one side was wrong or right imo. Being summoned at Chaldea does give them the opportunity to move past any issues they may have with each other though, and character growth is my fucking jam so that’s why I really like the intricacies of their relationship.

#Queen Medb #Magical College Girl Medb #FGO #Fate grand order #LONG POST #I actually tried making this as short as I could because I could talk forever about them #rip mobile users #Im so bad at doing tl;dr because I still end up rambling anyways #But yeah Ive always liked the possibilities of story telling that surround them #The anger; drama; love; hate; betrayal; not knowing until its too late; the friendships... they have so much to work with!! Its crazy!!! #I totes get why people dont like it but for me its so interesting!! #I am not even exaggerating when I say I think about their history every single day at any given time #Anonymous

[ghouls-dream]

Nobody asked for it, my hormones did tho. So yall gonna recieve it - Aether x Reader one shot! Enjoy, loves!

“Maybe you should say yes after all…”

Weddings. Birthdays. Parties. Whatever the hell the event it was, I hated it. I was so used to crowds and fed up with manners and fake acting, and glorifying others’ success. But I guess it’s the least I could do as a member of the Valentine family line - a well known for centuries vampire bloodine. And I was the youngest of it - Y/N Valentine. The reception parties were the worst part… I hated every single bit of them until now - the moment when I met my new favorite to hate place - weddings. In particular - my sister’s third wedding. She was only 25 but going strong on husband number 3. Not to mention he was also a part of a big family - The Emeritus. Bloodline of Papas, rulers of the Church of Ghost. Two generations have passed. It was time for the third one to rise - the one of Papa Emeritus III, son of Papa Nihil.

And each time it was all the same - Sisters of Sin on the left side of the altar in the main chaple, The Ghouls and Witches - on the right and all the other guests - outside the walls of the Church. It was a weird ritual, I can’t lie, but it was sacred. To the Emeritus at least… 

Suddenly the beautiful choir song stopped. Nothing else could be heard in the big room except for the deep caughs of Papa Nihil. This old man really just needed his comfort and bed. I swear he could fall apart right away without his little oxygen equipment. The sudden thought of seeing him actually crumbling into pieces made me chuckle slightly, which caused our mother to look at me with her cold-bloded stare dead in the eyes. That look was screaming “I will make you deader than you are” from miles away. I quickly came back to my senses and tried to look as serious as possible for my sister’s arrival in the chaple. 

“How long do we need to wait? My fucking nipples are sweating” I heard the short ghoul- Dew, whispering to Mountain, who was standing next to him. Again. Tickles in my stomach. I knew that If i laughed again, I’d be thrown out so I just bit my lip, looking down at my feet. “Shut up before I break your other horn” Mountain whispered back as the choir began to sing again. There she was - Ophelia Valentine in all her grace and beauty - pale skin, blood-red dress, black veil and a small bouqet of “lily of the valley”, symbolizing her “purity”. ‘Bullshit’ I thought as she came stood in front of the third Emeritus brother. The ceremony comenced.

After it was all done - the vows, the kiss, the ritual… Everything was covered in virgin blood. “A sacrifice - how typical” I said to myself, looking at all of us. Sisters of Sin were ordered to get rid of the mess, Witches were sent off to change and The ghouls, as well our family - were said to continue the celebration in the main room of the Church. I needed a drink and I needed it now - before our mother could say anything. I quickly grabbed a glass of champagne from the kind lady, holding the silver slaver and put a small, fake smile on my face. “A toast! For the…” caughed Papa Nihil, who was already sitting next to his son on the main table. “New family…” yet another caugh “I wish them all…” caugh. “Oh, just be happy!” he finalized his words as all the people gathered clapped in order to make the situation less awkward. Nice try, tho.

 I raised my glass slightly, letting out a small sigh. “You should be there” I heard a familiar voice next to me, causing me to jump a little. I quickly came back to myself before turning around to see Ather, leaning against the wall and lookin at me. He spoke again, holding a glass filled with red liquid “From all the years I’ve known your family, your mother would kill you a second time if she found out you’re not sat around the table”. I chuckled and gave him a small cheers, before answering “She’s too busy, trying to convince Papa Nihil that this time the marriage will last longer than 3 years. Why aren’t you with the boys? I thought you’re all getting drunk just like every other time”. “Well if you’ve watched carefully, which I doubt you have, I don’t get drunk. Swiss and Dew get completely wasted, tho” Aether chuckled before I could feel his eyes, scanning my body. He spoke again “You look beautiful as always, of course. I’m almost glad you’re not the one getting married to Papa III”. If I could - I would be blush. Deffinitely. Was that a compliment attempt? Whatever it was I was looking forward to answering a proper way. Sarcasm, of course - “And say 'goodbye’ to all the fun? I’d rather say "no” to every single man, no matter his family. Unfortunately my mother wouldnt allow it, of course". “Why wouldn’t she?” Aether answered back, as I felt him coming closer to me, adjusting his tie. It was hard not to follow every single move of his, especially when he was wearing a nice suit and a silver mask, which made his eyes look even darker.

I bit my lip. My thoughts were a chaos of lust and self-restraint and the alcohol wasn’t helping at all. I felt my back hitting the wall as I looked up into Aether’s gaze. I could tell he was smirking down at me. “Because… I don’t know. She had planed everything from the moment I came to this world… And I don’t want to marry just anyone… Like my sister…” I whispered as I felt how my arousal was growing as well my nervousness. I kept bitting my lips, looking at his own, then his eyes, then his hand, traveling around my neck. I didn’t even feel when that happened?! “You’re a pretty and a pretty smart girl, Y/N. I’m sure you can think of something to escape from your mother’s grip and fall into someone else’s one…” Aether whispered to my lips as they brushed against mine. Every dead cell in my body was craving that man and his touch, but I was completely paralyzed. Except for my right hand, gripping his shoulder as came closer to my ear and whispered “Maybe you should say "yes” after all one day… Maybe not to the typical proposal, but… We can think of something. Does that sound good?“ I was lost. Lost in sensations, lost in thoughts and lust. But one thing I knew for sure- I still remembered how to answer simple questions, so without much more panting from my side I let out a small moan, saying "Yes…”. Aether then smirked at me, kissing my exposed collarbone then whispered back “Enjoy the wedding… Ghuleh.”

#the nameless ghouls #nameless ghouls #swiss #aether #mountain #rain #dewdrop #ghost band #the band ghost #ghost bc #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus nihil #papa emeritus 3 #one-shot #ghouls #era 4 ghouls #aether ghoul

[hundredsunny]

yoo can u tell us who your ocs are and their story??

YES I WOULD LOVE THIS SO MUCH THIS IS THE BEST ASK I HAVE EVER RECEIVED !!!! im only gonna talk about like 4 of them bc im v attached to these 4 okokokokokokok here we go this answer bouta be long as hell 

april - ok this girl is my first oc. i made her in the middle of english class in 6th grade and shes been around ever since!!! tbh at this point idk if i want her to still be a straw hat or not but like??? anyways shes a rogue princess. she grew up just fine, but then one day her asshat dad killed her mom bc her mom was an “embarrassment of a ruler” and made their kingdom “look bad” anyways that happened when april was like 11. then once her dad took TOTAL control of the island he locked her tf away so she wouldnt be able to visit the citizens like she used to. so from 11 to 18 she was cooped up in the damn castle. when she was 16 she got her hands on a devil fruit that was locked away in some hidden room in her mother’s library (cliche i know im sorry) so then she ATE IT. THE AURA-AURA FRUIT. a v basic summary of that fruit is that she can manipulate her own aura and shit. imagine lucario from pokemon as a human honestly. idk. so when she ate the fruit she decided to fight her dad but of course she lost horribly and then she had to sit around in even more of a cooped up state for two more years until the STRAW HAT TEAM CAME ALONG ON ACCIDENT BAM SHE WAS ABLE TO LEAVE THE ISLAND BC OF THEM ok ok??? her whole story is complicated i tried to give the best watered down version im sorry. anyways shes v sweet and can be goofy but can be defensive as hell. she knows what she wants and will do anything to get that. yeehaw. shes an average height for a woman, she’s got shoulder-length brown hair and sky blue eyes. if u ever wanna know more bout her hmu

jack - OK MY 2ND OC EVER HE WAS MADE RIGHT AFTER APRIL AND HONESTLY HES MY FUCKING BABY. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!! anyways. he grew up on the same island april did. his dad was like the right hand man to april’s dad so like he had connections and shit. he had a v happy family. a sweet mom celest and a dope dad cain and a wonderful lil sis sho. when aprils mom was still alive, they would always visit the town so jack and april always hung out and went on adventures throughout the town together. when april’s mom died and her dad started locking her up more, they werent able to see each other much anymore. of course, jack being the rebellious son of a gun he was, he would always sneak around and find ways to still hang with her. jack’s 3 years older than her btw. anyways. one day out of NOWHERE jack’s dad just VANISHED from the island and it rly fucked him up. he was 14 when that happened. so then he had to take a step up and watch over his mom and sister. then april’s dad became even more of an asshat and more people started leaving the island, so jack’s mom and sis decided to leave. HOWEVER jack decided to stay so april wouldn’t be completely alone. that happened when he was 16. then he stayed on the down low and visited april as much as possible until he finally decided to leave and make a life for himself and also search for his family. he left when he was 18 and he promised april that shed be set free one day and theyd be able to meet up once again and have more adventures :’) anyways then he went on a search for his dad. turns out his dad left bc he was the leader of the LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS and had to tend to the duties over there. after YEARS jack finally found the LOA but his dad literally left AGAIN 3 months before he got there. that frustrated him. but then he decided to start a life in the league ((bc his dad lowkey taught him a whole lotta shit about that as a child but u kno)) and met CHAZ AND JO…anyways pause on the story. jack’s an uncooked piece of spaghetti. hes v tall and lanky. hes got messy black hair and red eyes. he deserves so much love ok. he needs a hug. covers up his problems with dumb humor. a little shit. v snarky. his weakness is overthinking. v good with daggers. his epithet after he becomes a wanted man is (lame) jack “the slicer” solo ok. hes 23 after the timeskip. yes. i could talk about him forever. pls lemme know if u wanna know more about him AHHHHHHHH ps april and jack are my favorite brotp and i wish someone was the jack to my april 

chaz - oh charles. dont call him charles he’ll kill a bitch. idk what it is about me and having my oc’s be of higher class but like chaz came from a family of nobles and Fucking Hated It (big shocker huh) so long story short he RAN away and started a life as a pirate but he was betrayed Too Many Times and ended up hating pirates. nerd. anyways. one day he ran into this guy named cain. jack’s dad. cain was like “yo u got somewhere to stay?” and chaz was like “lol no”. so then cain took chaz in and introduced him to the LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS and basically trained chaz for years and then VANISHED. chaz was SO FUCKING HURT!!!! but cain left him as the leader of the organization so chaz was also v shook. he got RLY defensive when jack stumbled along. he felt threatened that jack was gonna snatch his leader spot all bc he was cain’s son. tbh chaz was a dick to jack for a good bit of time. cain was the best kind of father figure chaz ever had and he just??? ah chaz also needs a hug. anyways eventually he and jack became nerd bros. they argue all the damn time. think of zoro and sanji but dumber. thats these two. chaz fights with whips (kinky) ((jk)) and hes a fuckin BEAST with them. run. they call him the dawn menace bc he mostly makes his move at that time of day. CHAZ THE DAWN MENACE. ok lame. but yea. hes 26 after the timeskip. hes a nerd. takes things seriously. easily stressed. chaz had a horrible event happen to him in the past so he lost one of his green eyes and (theres a whole other story about that where cain does a Good Thing but im tryna save time and space rn) his weakness is his right side bc he literally cannot see. hes a hothead sometimes. also a redhead. makes sense. hes got some good biceps tbh. strong dude. love him

jo - AYYY JOSEPHINE!!! her story isnt entirely developed tbh. she’s part of the league of assassins. literally the smartest damn person in the entire world. SO SMART. literally shes the reason why the league is still thriving. she knows everything about everyone. ALSO SHES SUCH AN INCREDIBLE SHARPSHOOTER. USOPP WHO? v v v v v good with guns. honestly. shes 25 after the time skip but honestly shes a mom to chaz and jack. always breaking up their dumb arguments. so kind. can be snarky. purple eyes and long blue hair that she wears in low pigtails all the time. she was around when chaz first joined the league so they’ve been good buds for a hot minute. she’s 2nd in command now!!!!! she needs a break so bad. oh my god. works so damn hard. i honestly feel like im forgetting a lot of things about her im sorry im rushing rn but!!!!! honestly jack chaz and jo are my fave dream team. they’re all fucking nerds. i love them. tbh on the sims 4 i made a household with the three of them in it and it was wild. 

codie - lil cordelia. redhead. amber eyes. V STUBBORN. serious as shit. will kill someone. she has a zoan fruit and the model is an albatross so since shes a redhead she just fuckin. turns into a red albatross. they call her the red feather bc 1) literally red and 2) the blood of her enemies sometimes stain her feathers. ooooo spooky. her story is fuckin insane. all im gonna tell u is that she’s just with the whitebeard pirates. 20 after the timeskip. sassiest gal i know. fuckin constantly flamed ace even though ace was the flame guy. bird bros with marco!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!! anyways. thats all i got rn im sorry!!!! thank u for asking and please feel free to ask me more questions if u ever wanna know about some of these kids o mine!!!!! 

#asks #ferisuu

[nocancer]

Why It Rains

~~~~ an excerpt from a working novel by Cancer moon. ~~~~~**

Lately I’ve been channeling from a higher source. And it’s not something I have to keep up with. It feels like, natural almost. Like im always at the same level of it, or at least very close. I’m not gonna lie, I was scared at first. Scared that I would fail. Scared that I wouldn’t live up to the expectations I set for myself while meditating. But so far things are looking up. I even got that new computer I wanted. Who knows, for now I’m just gonna keep writing and go from there. I’m not too concerned with the trivial things that life likes to bother us with, seemingly always at the worst times imaginable. I might check out this internet thing too. It’s promoted as this fun happy place and if I didn’t know any better, I’d of taken that for face value, right off the bat like a sucker. Next thing you know the internet turns out to be a cold and lonely place, and I’m left to wallow in my own self-pity, clutching my knees in the fetal position, mad at myself for failing to see the internet for what it is, a stupid marketing scheme. The point is, I have to see for myself. That’s just the type of person I am. You can ask my mom that. She’ll tell you. Ask her about the time I told the guy who was fixing my alternator to shove it when he was trying to charge me a thousand. Mind you, I had the money. But you’re not supposed to be dishonest to me just ‘cause I’m a millenial. The guy pretty much called me that. He said, hey kid, try to be more polite next time. But I never listened. I don’t need advice from a deadbeat greasemonkey. Anyway, apparently everyone’s connected to the cloud via sites like facebook and instagram. And when people log on to jump in on the action, usually the first thing they do is say hi to their friends, and maybe even drop a smile or two to show them they care. And if they drop a heart then you know they already had a chance to settle in, and are just trying to take it to the next level, now that the internet, in all its digital, impermanent page swiping glory, is owned, unabashedly theirs.

Conscious apples of languid rotundity creep along countless borders of a pale grey sky. 

The pears are unwavering in the efforts of embassy, initiating calls backs when the time calls for it, and deceit when grape factions step in and intervene. 

“What are these meddling affairs, young pear?” asked the grape.

“I don’t know. It’s the apples control our every move. How we live. Our daily lives.”

“Hush with that nonsense. You are nothing but a pear, a young one at that, how could you possibly know who’s behind it all?”

“I don’t know.”

The grape and the young pear sat on a brook and wondered who was behind it all.

-------

You see this all-seeing-eye mural in Atlanta? On the side of Ravine across the street from the federal reserve building? Yeah. I could strip down naked and run to the middle of that intersection there and scream my lungs out until i started coughing up blood and act violent to anyone who approached me and i still wouldnt match the frequency of that demonic shit. People walk by it everyday going to work, going to lunch, going to walk their dog, and nobody bats an eye. An eye for the government, an eye for the media, an eye for world hunger. Not a single raised eyebrow goes towards whats in control of every aspect of their daily lives. Oh the president controls my life. But I voted for him, so its okay. Is what they would say, as they munched on Mcdonalds with vaccines in their arms and got mad at traffic because they were going to miss their favorite show. A show that retroactively fed into a never ending problem and response feedback loop that activates the reptilian part of the brain by broadcasting images of rape and pedophilia via techniques that the producers learned at Harvard’s school of broadcasting, which also used a system of coercion, this time in the blind trust the students had for their professors just because they dressed nice and said big words. You’re going places. This kid’s gonna be a star. 

-----

I’m only half of what I am without your other half to complete me. Only kids ask rhetorical questions. But why should I be any different? 

I live by the way side. Wherever the wind takes me. I notice things that most don’t. I’m not sure if what I think is valid or not. I don’t believe anything is valid. Likewise I dont believe anything is invalid. One things for sure. If there’s one thing I know to be true. Is that I’m not an adult. No, Definitely not. 

-----------

Hiksos lamented blast fully daring the credence of all his undoing. Unjust and bashful forwritten to layers upong layers of drug smitten landscapes. 

“Youre good/” Said Jamie.

I see why she likes so much to hate on anyone she can get her hands on. And im not talking about physical hands. No, these are claws of misfortune. --The bad falls into a category still undefined by our human grasp.--

Apples on seminoles. Berries on amazing places we strove for. 

The graveyard was pure and unassuming as a place for the dead should very well be. And with that we took our ritual to newer, more fulfilling levels. Levels of which determine our outlook as shades between optimistic and cautiously realistic. With our futures in the balance, 

“Whatchu think dawg?” said Jerry. He was on his 2nd beer and 5th shot of vodka sprite. and I was on my mind long enough for nothing to be worth a damn. The vibe was dull, and the smoke gone. I lit a cigarette.

“I feel like shit.” 

“You good?”  J

“Yeah but I’m just tired like overall.” About life.

“Why not be happy about life? It’s all in your head. Just flip the switch. Like a light. On and off. Boom. No more stress.”  J

“If only if it were that easy.”

“It is that easy. That’s the thing.”

Sipping heroically, going farther and phasing out all menial contrivances. Searching for myself like the lost land of atlantis. Humanity will get what it deserves. 

“In due time” said Thomas. 

I look at orion and wonder if those faint stars below its belt are actually indicative of a warrior kneeling on one knee with his shield raised or if its a flaccid penis that hangs all the way down to his knee. Im a pervert, always have been. Theres no stopping how much i will crash thoughtforms together in a heinous way until they stick together and form a common truth. I’m on the last life cycle of a cat’s 9 lives. Theres really nothing to lose by being a pervert. I had a friend in high school who said we’re all gay. I dont remember when. He said it more than once. I dont know if he was gay. I didnt think like that back then, but I wouldn’t to be anything other than who I am today. But again, there’s no stopping a mind so spiritual that it can hold each and every possibility at once and consider them valid. Then an external force canceling out my infinity. And I’m left to deal with people as if playing some sick little game thats suppose to teach me a lesson or something. So that I can ascend to the next plane of existence. At least thats what I’ve heard. But when the night hits and everyone finally shuts up for once it seems much simpler than that. Like im watching myself through a lens bestowed on me by a god with no intelligence. And during the day he becomes intelligent, and I’m left trying to keep up with, on his terms. “Fuck you bitch” I tell it often. “Youre not real” I’d say over and over. “What the fuck” is the saying that gives closure to it all. The only reason God looks good on paper is because it’s a testament to the author being strong enough to have it in his mind and make sense of it. It’s a mark people wear like aushwitz that make their beliefs somehow something you should pay attention to because I’m physical and God’s not but I speak of God so therefore God’s physical so you should listen to me. But then thatd make the speaker God. 

By and by I’ve messed up hastily my dreams and aspirations. Tattooed on a building as ink drips down like an inner angst perceiving things as they are, and not what society says they should be. The happy medium an ephemeral code that could shift and shake into any causality one deems it to. The rulers of the world have taken domain over the one thing every human on earth has in common. I call this desire. They call it money. A body that begets greed and turns hatred to lust. Actions which motivate our inhibitions to phantasmagoria. Until we accept our place as lesser than the pettiness of our common folk. Shy and afraid, contingent upon basement dwelling lab rats who fane logic to reasonable bell curves while sucking nature dry of her own resources. The very nature that sunlight reflects upon his incessant rays which batter and tumble the distance. If only they knew she was her and he was them. But it doesn’t go like that here. Because if it did, then all karmas coming to a head would get their just due, and we’d be in purgatory. While heaven remained for the gods and earth for the mortals. And nothing can be God except authority to mortals when they’ve been tricked into accepting the state and thus have become it..

What a lovely home indeed. No one could bother me here. Except for the only one’s I knew. Because nobody knows I exist except for those who know me. I’d rather keep it that way. For a streak of doubt can enter me at any time and cause worry for my future. A future still so far away  because I lack the initiative to care. Maybe that will change now that I have room to breathe. Just when I thought I was going downhill for good, my dad came around for me. And now I have a responsibility to get me up in the morning. No more waiting in line for luck to befall me in my yoga. The truth is, when reality caved in itself, and I could see the dying whispers in the eyes of those around me, I accepted my estrangement from the happy things in life. My avoidance of the dastardly grotesque was keeping me back this whole time. I like darkness and pitiful efforts of circumstance that vibrate low enough to stay hidden from others, but high enough so that it is detectable by my astral receiver. Two of which is an outward expression of another. The extension of material that is necessary for movement to take place. Before this realization I endured through pain of my own doing.  

“How are you?” people would say.

And I never had a response.  

Telepathic centrifuges would scan my mind. Taking flight off far off reaches of iniquity. All facets calling upon a microverse for an answer. I an I. Then they’d be gone without hesitation.  

“Jerry’s calling” said Thomas.

“for what?” This guy wont leave me alone, I thought.

“I don’t know answer it.”

“Why are you bored?” I said.

“Yes, maybe he has weed.” Said Thomas.

“Ay whatsup man. Me and Thomas we’re just talking about you.”

“Oh word?”

“Yeah and then you call its like divine intervention or something?”

“Yeah thomas was tryna find some weed and you the first person he thought of so you must be doing something right.”

“Yo Thomas.”

“Oh hold up let me put you on speaker.” I said quickly.

“Is Thomas there? Yo Thomas.”

“Jerry, whats good?”

“I got the pack man, I heard you was lookin for a come up. I got the pack man.”

“Aight bet cus im bored as a motherfucka right now ya feel me?”

“It aint my fault.”

“Yo he do gotta big ass house tho I aint gone lie but like shit aint got nothin in it.”

“I just moved here a week ago.”  

“So for a whole week- Yo is today Friday?”  

“Yeah its Friday.” Who cares? I thought.

“So that’s last Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and now Friday, and you still aint got nothin in here but a fridge.”

“You aint even seen the whole house.”

“Nah you know you just in the middle of the carpet with no pillow no blankets or nothin.  

And you wake up and go open the fridge and aint nothin in it. Then you go back to sleep.”

“Ay what he dream about?” Jerry said through the phone.

He aint dream about much ‘cept for one occurring dream. Of a fridge, but this time it’s a mini fridge. And its pink and he’s able to move it around, so he takes it up to his room and opens the freezer door just a little so it’s a little crack and he starts beatin it up till he has a wet dream and wakes up.”

“Alright you took it too far. It was kinda funny before but you killed it.”

“Wait, Where’s the fridge now? It’s not in the kitchen?” Jerry said.  

“Bruh that’s the thing its just in the middle of the living room not even plugged in or nothin.”

“Jerry I know you so concerned about my god damn fridge but this time dude is lying over here.”

haha

“It’s in my kitchen like a normal person. Like I don’t know I guess you think this shit is funny or something but whatever come through and you can see for yourself.” Don’t talk to him he’s a loser was the attitude I was picking up. I thought they we’re beyond all that and capable of extraneous thought. Oh well, I guess I’m done with these idiots.

No more sitting around all day.

If I can see them for who I want, and not who they really are, it’d make no difference. 

It’s a best of both worlds type situation. I just hate that I have to resort to this.

Its a sporadic and unpredictable endeavor that can detach you from life’s depiction. Seemingly framing a purpose in cosmetics among layer-caked mine field of mind clouds. I want to be a positive addition to those around me. And for them to be honest to me in return. Honest  because everything around me is a nuisance. And dishonest It’s not necessary to have car insurance, police, governments. This realm is alive. 3 dimensions respective of splashes and 3rd parties. Because of this fact, I must be able to flow freely, grounded in freedom, estranged to control. Last summer when I jumped into the alleghany i felt freer than i have in a long ass time. Jerry asked me if he thought we’d still be here next year. I told him I didn’t want to think about it. That I was enjoying the moment.

“Man fuck that bitch.” T

“What? Who you callin’ a bitch?” J

“You know what I mean.” Thomas smacked his lips.

“I really don’t but whatever.” J

“Yo Jerry did you leave yet?” 

“How far away is it? Not too bad right?”

   “Nah it’s not too bad you’re like 30 minutes away. You’re in a nice area. Lots of rich people.” J

“Yeah I came up on it. It kinda just happened.”

“Whatchu mean it fell out of the sky?” Jerry asked.

“It’s been in my family for a while and I was lucky enough to be gifted it.” I said.

“That’s dope, you’ll get some good use out of it.”

“Yeah I’ma take advantage of what I got ya know? Make it so anyone can pull up as long as I fuck with them.” I said.

“Thats why I’m comin’ through. 

Just say its the spot and I’m there.”

“For sure. But yo, if youre bringing your girl over then bring some pillows and blankets to sleep on cus I only got mine.”

“I need some too.” Thomas joined in.”

“We’ll stop then.” I said reluctantly.

“

“And where are we gonna chill? We can’t just sit on the floor.” Thomas took his eyes off the road.

“Alright, theres a home depot near the chinese place we’ll go their while we wait.” I said.

“Does Home Depot have blankets?” Thomas said like he was so concerned.

“No but they got that outdoor patio section for furniture and shit, So I don’t know we’ll find something.”

            “They got mad carhartt jackets for the low low there. You should check them out.” 

           “Alright I’ll check them out.” The streetlights suspended time in space.

“Yo spicy egg rolls, add it to the list.” Jerry said finally.

“Sounds good.” Thomas replied. There was a pause.

“You headin’ out?” T

“Yeah. I am. Right now.” Jerry responded.

“A’ight I’ll see you when I see you.” T

I interrupted.

“I was gonna get spring rolls instead and we don’t want too many rolls so you want dumplings instead?” The thought popped into my head and I had to get it out.

“I dont really care either way” Jerry said.

“So yes on the dumplings? Pork, Chicken or beef?” I said.

“Dude I really dont give a fuck.” 

“A’ight peace.”

“Wait actually get some extra spring rolls. I don’t want my breath to stink.” Jerry was a quick thinker.

“Okay. Peace.” 

I ordered the chinese while Thomas turned the radio down.

It was 7:30 on a Friday. Traffic was still out and slow except on the highway. The plaza where Home Depot was sat on an indent so that a perimeter around us denied the sun a chance of bringing light to the inevitable darkness. Highway barricades exalted the east coast away from our position. I closed my eyes and listened to newly formed divinations stemming from a horizontal after-glow. What was AM was now PM. And just as I would prepare for a weekend of contract work,  I too was going to do the same for the night. Because Friday was in the air, telling me I was the cause of it.

Thomas pulled into the lot and flicked his cigarette a stop-sign to an array of F150s and pug-faced express vans that sat high enough to deem his reliable, good on gas mileage, crusty seated hand-me-down first-car shit-box a worthy proponent of wu-wei. It was the type of car that doesn’t speak for anything or reflect an image onto its owner other than its being there. 

At least this one had a little personality though, fashioned by who was behind the wheel, and the fact that I knew him through drive-ways of careless faces, drive-thrus, and drunken waffle house binges where we kept to ourselves and almost forgot it wouldn’t last. And even though the universe proved its worth to me, I cant help but feel theres in imbalance in my past.

That these were just moments. And days would go by. Blunts would get passed. Pets would die. We’d hope to not hear of our relatives dying, but that would happen to. Cause of death? Old age. It wouldn’t say that on the obituary. It was say something safe like stage 4 cancer or hodgekins lymphona. But everyone knows about the cap put on as at birth. That there’s a limit to how long we get to stay here. Sometimes we’d hear of our friends dying too. But those were rare cases. Few and far between. Unless of course you were the type of kid to attract that sort of stuff. Then you probably deserved it anyway. That pain. Irregardless of the pain it takes to die. You imagine how it must have felt in the body of your friend. Like they we’re on the otherside begging you to come with them. I’m free. They’d say. It only hurts a little. And unlike the old people, their obituary would read suicide. Basically an off-hand way of saying they needed jesus. Because in the end, nobody truly knows what would drive someone to do that to themselves. We can speculate all we want. They we’re bipolar. They wore funny clothes to school and we’re bullied as a result. But only someone with special access could consult them on that. To ask them why they denied life and chose death instead. Only someone who could be objective about the whole thing and not get caught up in their emotions could ask them this. In America that’s Jesus, God of funeral homes, shepherd of lost souls. The frustrating part, at least to me, is that all he can come up with is it was Satan’s fault. But that doesn’t do it for me. No. I need more than that. After all, Jesus, you faked your own death and ran away to the pyrynees. Did you not? You we’re too afraid to commit suicide. You half-assed your commitment. Maybe you knew what awaited you resembled a sleepless dream? Certainly you knew another part of you was fit for ascension. But then wouldn’t be the center of attention like you we’re on earth. You’d be around people who knew a light language and we’re just as smart as you, if not smarter. The applied principles of the sun was common knowledge there. That was like basic shit. Nobody was looking for preachers there. What they we’re looking for was way more advanced than your little yoga techniques. Stop hiding and tell us what’s really going on out here. Something tells me it has something to do with Satan, just not in the way you’re telling us. I have a feeling he holds the keys to a piece of knowledge we never even knew existed. If that’s the case, and I find out we’ve been duped, then I might just take it upon myself and offer you the same fate you offered my friend when he was down bad on that fateful Spring night mad at the world and pissed off at the hypocrisy you created for him.  But this time when I get to you I’ll make sure you won’t be down bad. There will be nothing to numb the pain. No. You’re gonna feel this. Then things will come full circle. Order. I like when things happen that way.

“Yo I need paint. “

“ Paint?”

 “I just remembered. For the walls.” I said in a descending volume.

We walked through the doors in the purgatory between store and street. I grabbed a cart.

“Is that what we’re gonna do for fun? Man I might regret this whole night if we end up hanging dry-wall and shit.”

“I hear you bro but we can play poker, I got a speaker so we can bump some music, and we’ll just kick it.”

Thomas strayed passed the check-out lines and almost ran into a stack of wood hanging from a guy’s trolley.

“Where are you going?” I said.

“Where’s the paint?” He said turning around.

We looked like we should be in the city rather than the hardware store. Everyone was looking and I know I’m not paranoid when I say that. We we’re foreigners visiting a small scale metropolis under construction. A place for bandits to face their acrophobia and not make it across to the next tower without getting grime on their gats ort hope they liked our style.

"They got krylons?" I said. The aisle opened up where the rafters stretched through the ceiling leaving ground level two by fours in their dust. If I focused I could hear an echo reverberate off my skull, taking its merry time and judging me before I could hold my breath. “We used to be so into this.”  Thomas said.

“I don’t know why we stopped.”  I said. He took it as a valid question.

“We got older I guess. Fuck.”

“Remember the overpass on Holcomb Bridge? I wonder if our shits still there.” 

“We need to go back there.”

Gum soles in an unfinished basement. This was the most people I’ve ever seen. a’ve ever seen. The fire marshall could’ve came knocking any moment. Though I don’t think anybody would hear him. Lil Pump was 3 doors down. To the fire marshall, is that everyone was moving as one. To the fire marshal, this could be a good or bad thing in the lens of a fire marshall. Good because if someone started popping shots off with an uzi or something and everyone tried to run out the house through the basement side-door, the main one through the hall at the back by the bathroom, or if they went up stairs and found the wrong door and had to jump off the balcony or something, if shit really started to pop off like this, of shit really hit the fan, then it’d be good to have 1 body instead of a hundred. There we’re straddlers of course, but all they’d have to do is hide in its belly folds and hope to not get lost while the body was hauling ass down the street resorting to the dreaded question, “Can I get a ride?” And simply put it’d be bad because human flesh burns quite well when laced with alcohol. That was a risk we were willing to take and that brought us that much closer together.

When I came in with Katie I noticed the crystalline qualities of blonde hair captivated the vibe and were on display in the trim lining. When you looked across it was like some secret edition of the yearbook where everyone didn’t have to pretend they liked each other.

Only this time there were no profiles, only shadows. And instead of signatures there were tattoos on skin that said things like “im too good for you” and “the sky is watching.”

 What collected at the corners were pushed outside to observe that ways a part equidistant to the cups on the table to the enthusiasm among them. This was inside. Everyone needed to make sense and not be meta. You couldn’t point out how we were all here by chance like Tommy did, “xxxxxxx” What an idiot. You couldn’t speculate as to why Rhea spent the whole month showing out for sympathy on twitter and crying at school over her breakup with Nick but is now falling on top of him, grabbing his arm and shit and Nick’s just going with it like he doesn’t care his best friend got sucked off by yours truly in front of everyone at last weeks party and he was there and she was there and it was all fine like nothing happened. “Well Nick got with Mercedes, and her and Rhea ignore each other now. It’s really awkward.” Despite the fakeness, there was an heir of trust unlike any ive ever seen here unlike back at school where we’d be leaning into our cheeks thinking about how to score more brownie points with the cliques we were in.

At least that’s what others were thinking about. The teacher’d be talking about solving for y for the millionth time, you know, moving things around by reverse operations to make sure they maintained the same relationship with one another. I never had to study because when it came time to test it’d be like the answers’d just come to me and I’d end up acing the damn thing. I became known as a smart person who didn’t care so everything canceled out and I was able to stay neutral and move between the punks to get drugs, the nerds to get power, and the popular kids to get access to parties like the one I was at now. I know this all sounds vain, but I guess that’s how it works when you’re a teenager still trying to find yourself when everyone else was doing the same but would rather die then admit it. Now that I look back I realize the whole thing was meaningless. There was no substance, no fulfillment. High School was mostly waiting with small pockets of being thrust into the limelight.   Just a series of empty promises leading nowhere. You could of met your better half completely in the midst of knowing each other at a soul level but all indications were that it wouldn’t last so you made excuses and broke it off before it was too late so that your future could be at least bearable when you we’re laying in your cheeks mad at the world wondering why you were the only thing you could think about. You could rest your heart on your decision. The sex flashbacks at the most random times like talking to your grandma or waiting in line at the grocery store didn’t matter anymore. You could put it all on that. Your decision. 

“Daniel, I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Likewise Sharlene, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Oh how sweet of you to say that to me.”

“Wait, why are you guys being so formal?” Katie said like she overheard.

“We should stop.” Sharlene said. Daniel was taller than all of them.

“How was your day?” His eyes got bigger. Crazy.

“Did you have a good day?” Leaning forward with his back against the counter.

“I did have a good day.” Sharlene said. “Did you?” She put her hand up and when she realized this she snapped them across her face and into his. 

“Mr. Sassy?”

“Mr. Sassy!” Some dude in a hat with lettuce coming out said.

These we’re the types of exchanges that went on inside. Loud but cold. All in the vain of attention seeking like some sort of competition or test of brilliance. Only that this time unlike in normal society, where everyone’s trying to get their point across as clear and concise as possible because focus is king over style, this time brilliance was a stage of show. And whoever could hold onto it the longest was most certainly king or queen and surely the apple of their eye. Their being the cult that was the inside.

The 5 of us ended up by an air conditioning unit. We were staring at the moon thinking about what do next because we were already exhausted. Not because we weren’t faded enough. It was quite the opposite. There was too much judgment. And that was as bad of a high you could get when you were on the other end of it. We were over it. We were desperately passing a blunt I’d been eager to light since I rolled it in the car. 

“I needed this.” Jerry said.

“Yeah? Me too.” I looked at Katie. She’s the one I rolled it with earlier in the day when 4 different people we’re blowing up my phone asking if I was coming and telling me who I could bring or not.

“I don’t know it’s just like the vibe or something. Like something’s off.” Tom said.

Katie was mostly quiet and sipping the blunt with her cute little hands and was gravitating towards Miranda in a nonverbal display of boredom.

“We don’t need to talk about it.” Jerry said.

“We really don’t.” I agreed.

“Talk about what?” I’m just saying.” Thomas said after a pause.

“Yeah I know but I’m not about to go behind their backs and gossip like we’re not fuckin’ with it thats cool we can do our own shit.”

“So what are we gonna do?”

“Is there anything close?”

“You tryna go to waffle house?” 

Katie and Miranda laughed. First Katie snorted then Miranda bent over and held her knees.

“What are y’all tryna do?”

“Uhh can we just get out of here?” Katie said towards the street.

“Yeah. Let’s walk.” I said.

You left your memories with me.

So you could live without you.

You left your past in the dark, and

it was something you did for the hell of it because life

was too easy for you.

 "What's wrong?" I said.

"Leave with me." You said.

"Is something bothering you?" I said.

"No." You were always in the dark.

"Where?"

"I don't know. Anywhere but here."

"I can't tell if you're being serious." You threw a rock

down the train tracks, and pointed where I was looking.

"That way's North to Chattanooga." You turned around.

I leaned to the side as if I was peeking down a narrow

hallway.

 "South to Miami. Hmm. It depends." You said rubbing your chin.

"It depends on you finding a girlfriend so you can get back to reality is what it depends on." I said.

I dont think a single car

drove by since we got here. Moving trucks could be seen on the overpass where the crossing signals were, but were inaudible. The only thing audible was the large-scale kithen across the street which would hiss occasionally over its constant hum. It also had steam coming out of it. We walked towards the red-light on stones half the size of our trainers and went to balancing on the rail half to avoid twisting our ankles and half to ammuse ourselves.

"I was gonna say it depends on what's better, a good ol' country bitch who'll cook you catfish till you cant eat no more, or a bad spanish mommy who may or may not be there for you when you really need it."

 "Oh, si senorita Hot like tamales. Muy bueno.

Como te amos rapido rapido mucho Miami me gusto."

"Bro we're hopping trains not borders

you fucking wetback."

"Whoa, hold up ese, you're hopping trains, not me.

Besides, we'll be hopping on a lot more than trains

if we keep this up." I said.

"Trains not borders, puto."

"Man watch your mouth."

"Here comes one now."

ijijiijjiiji

We hid in the bushes. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Me fist then the girls and Jerry while Thomas was last in..

"We should of put a coin on their,:

*End graveyard party and go into chapter about family* BONES laden arrows

----

Just say its the spot and I’m there.

“Jerry just texted me.” I said to Thomas.

“What’d he say?”

“He’s bringing Erica.”

“Why was it even a question?” Thomas said. He was flipping his head back and forth at me. Zig-zagging from hinges to nails to glue guns and floor tiles, biding his time, sulking like i was gonna feel sorry for him.

“I don’t know man. I’m sure it had something to do with his roommates not being out.” I said. 

“Well if his initial reaction was him being scared then what that tell you about what he think of us?”

“Nah. You’re thinking too far into it. He’s tryna get her to let him hit.”

So much was out of context. There was disharmony. I continued.

“Maybe there’s something about two dudes without girlfriends that isn’t exactly the most potent

“

Smoke stacks comply and hesitate partaking in sport. Indulging in an aptitude that continues to see how it feels when you say such simple words as “hello, and, thats cool.” That continues to touch a nonverbal membrane when you move in such a way that broke the color barrier between black and white. So I’ll appreciate you like all the others do. Because I, completely and utterly, should know to carry you with me into infinity. And I should know, for a fact, that distance is dependant on its terminal velocity at the moment of impact. Gorgeous you are when tulips gather around cow pastures only to wither away upon the changing of the guard. Tip toes, necromancy, ice skates, all these make sense to me now, that ever since the day of my christening, good beings struck witherto my intelligence and rendered them useless. These knots, the qualities of which we’re twisted, utterly finagled to a degree that crystallized under pressure. I feel like I was born so I could come into people’s live when they needed someone to blame their problems on. That’s why I always get those stupid looks. Sometimes I just wanna ask them like “what the fuck are you on?” I guess all those diamonds couldnt teleport you out of here huh? Too bad. I ain’t judgin’. 

knotted in purpose. 

Oh how I looked on in brevity the callus threads that stretched for miles upon miles into causeways of blindness which overtook me in haste. Very painstaken I was in the trials before then. But now I see the reason for them. For nothing could have felt better than to be relieved of all that built up stress which churned and churned until a mechanism of ventricles let go in common translation. Like ruminating gats and dust swipers caged so discreetly so as to fixate on unto sizzling barge-heads. Almost as if silly esquires of desperately manifold doldrums exist solely to highlight the difference of deceit and merry.  the difference of you, a you, and I, an I.

“Man I need blankets.” Thomas said.

“Pillows too.” I said tracing the outer perimeter of Home Depot. 

Them Carharrts nice too. Our eyes met at the rack.

“I bet you could fit a gun inside this.” Thomas said feeling the durability of a canvas hoodie in brown. 

“No I don’t have a gun.”

“You should get one.”

“They got em here?”

We fell out of the portal. 

____________

Vicious bar flies and scarcities falsify the other-half.

“It is settled” said Chief Wallitzer

“Then buy more plankton from the Chief” A creature said. Decrepit. Monsteral. Lectivicious. The creature continued.

 “And as soon as I stray a lochness is when the fortifications manifest wholly and without contempt.” I must ignore him.

“What am I to do?” I said on the levy. 

“Take a boat from the garter over thine gully there.” Said the Chief. 

And I summoned a boat from his power.

“I’m crossing.” I said under my breathe. I said aloud. 

“Bless you Chief! Aye. May good fortune amass in your possession!” Because realization finally hit me, that I was to join my comrades in battle, once and for all.

“Aye, and to not flee as well.” This was the last I ever heard of the Chief. 

--------

Today I’m going to buy a car.

Anxiety is a MK Ultra Mind Control Tactic (designed to keep humans subordinate to the matrix) ((which is ran by the 10%))

(((who answer to archonic entities from the 4th dimension)))

Logical reasoning is when an internal problem is identified as separate from the self so that it may not be subject to the whims of ego, which is fleeting and irregular, and stems from an evolutionary need for man to keep desiring more and more mates to reproduce offspring with so that his tribe grows strong in number as opposed to getting complacent with having one or few mates, retiring from the world, and letting him and/or his offspring die without a big enough tribe to defend them from bigger tribes with more man-power. Humans have advanced beyond the need to reproduce. In fact, Over-population is an existential threat to the continuation of humans on Earth. Because of this there should be no desire to reproduce. However, there is still a desire to reproduce. This is because the consequences of over-population like famine, disease, and global warming have yet to be internalized by most humans. Once it does, there will be no desire to reproduce, and all remaining sub-strata will go too. These remaining sub-strata include love, greed, and status all begotten from the main desire of humans, which is to reproduce. The reason that is 

The main desire of humans is that humans want to survive. If humans didn’t want to survive they’d be dead. If humans we’re dead they wouldn’t be living. And if humans weren’t living they wouldn’t exist. Additionally, If humans didn’t exist they’d be nothing. And If humans were nothing they wouldn’t be something. Finally, if humans wouldn’t be something, as in, they we’re in a state of denial towards the very notion of being something 

with the very notion of that word and all the associations it comes with, 

 Finally, if humans wouldn’t be something, as in, they we’re in a state of denial towards being something, 

knowing full-well  the associations it comes with, then humans would be refusing their ego, which is fleeting and irregular.

Once this desire (to reproduce) is gone, then allser forms of this desire like 

and not get his needs are met

 be processed in an objective manner, and not subject to whims of ego

solutions can be formulated in an objective context, and the solutions necessary to overcoming that problem, may not be weighed against emotion, which is fleeting and irregular.

 and it’s existential

consequences, both good and bad, can be weighed objectively against 

solutions that are based in reality

The distinction between needs and desires is a matter of time. Needs are immediate. Desires are built up over time.

The distinction between needs and desires is, in fact, only a matter of time

Anxiety needs to be alleviated when there’s not enough time, but it should anxiety will be alleviated because their is time.  . 

^^^^^^^^^cap*********

*********************

Anxiety is when an internal problem needs to be alleviated. Its just that the actions required to alleviate said problem seem far off and distant. So much that you begin doubting your abilities as a measly human and turn to a god instead. When this god doesnt fix your problems your anxiety is compounded heavily. Because you have one more problem than you started with. If you couldnt hold a candle to your first problem, being as their solutions were so far out and demanded too much in a short amount of time, then now you got a doozy on your hands. All we can ask for is perfection, and hope we come up short.

********************

************

//All God can ask for is perfection. That’s why he doesn’t relate to us.// If you had a bag that led to another bag you wouldn’t keep the first bag cus it’d already be in the second one. These are the ancestors working behind the scenes.

then what makes you think

Our teachers taught us proper sentence structure in the third grade. A subject followed by a predicate. The subject is invoked and the predicate carries the burden like a hag witch carries  it and thus justifying the subject so that it is not floating in space, susceptible to being bothered by minds whose job it is to question things that float in space for no other reason other than to not have a purpose, and stand as a monument against all these grammar nazis stand for. So viciously chaotic, free in its lightness, completely unencumbered by menial contrivances of formality, it seems, are these subjects without predicates stand unapologetically in the vast concourses of space as monuments against all they stand for. The problem is that words can only do so much when describing a subject. Whether it is a noun or pronoun, abstract or not, a person, place, thing, or idea, it could even be an interjection, the problem is words can only do so much for describing the essence of a thing, the unseen force which discerns certain vibrations as unalike from one another and neatly packages them into a frequency at which the brain can perceive.

certain things as unalike from one another and neatly packages them into a frequency that vibrates at a rate at which the human brain can process through its hypothalamus and perceive them as things in the 3rd dimension.

apart from the rest is limitless when not bound by words, which can only be deduced as a lesser form of magic.

Thomas and I see the same things. Ever since our childhoods we were never separated. And even if we we’re, or it appeared as if we we’re, we always had the same eyes. Not just the same view, but the same eyes. I don’t mean that these eyes were like detachable lenses, that could be passed around to and fro like a can on a string, I mean that we’ve had the same experiences, just in different forms.  And if we ever shared a difference of opinion, which happened a lot, like with this Erica thing, I never had to worry about things getting heated. Because no matter what, I could always fall back on us letting things calm down for a while, alone in our rooms leaning into our cheeks trying not to think about it. until both of us realized we were coming.from the same place, and that where, and to what degree we took it to, was ultimately meaningless.

I must be going now. It’s getting late. What time is it? 2:30? Jesus. Fuck. That’s later than I thought. Already? Oh well. It’s not like I can do anything about it. Anyway. What I wanna talk about is how fucked up you look to me, and I don’t know if you see that. I mean, if you can see what I see. Dread, angst, all of mine and your miseries seem to have burdened you. I want you to know that I’m here. I’m a man. I can fix my own problems. Really. I can. I may not look it but I’m grown. You don’t have to worry about them. Here, look at this picture I took last year. It’s of you and me. Don’t we look so happy? Happy. Is that the right word? Or maybe we’re crumbing for our last breathe of smile in us. Fuck. I’m beginning to think that’s true the more and more I think about it. Because you we’re never happy. Neither was I. But that wasn’t the goal for us like it is for so many others. No. We just wanted to get by. And that’s all we could ever ask for.

--jgcjgcjgcjgcgjc

I wanted to keep this sacred so it’d come across a more genuine when the right person came across it. but now the urge is too strong and the resonance too concentrated for me to dismiss the trailblazing force of circular momentum. And its nice out too. The grass is still damp from yesterday’s rain but not so you couldn’t lie in it. That’s what I did today. That along with thinking. Moving on. I won’t talk about personal experience in this article. The truth is I’m not important. What matters is my guidance. So from now on take my “I’s” as placeholders for something greater. Make it what you want. A parakeet, a landing pad, veganism, law and order, anything. It could even be the universe itself with you and me included. Whatever it is just don’t miss the point that follows this inconspicuous “i” because there is no truth, only different paths to getting there. 

The truth is I haven’t been out the house in a few years. Sure there were gaps in between like parties here and there. But even then I was inside myself, leaving people to wonder if I was as social as I looked. Sometimes I was normal, others I was a wallflower. Only rarely did I meet their expectations and become the center of attention. I still remember those moments because I’m preparing for the next time it happens so I can maintain a sense of self better so that I can let it go and channel what comes out of me more freely. Some call this going into the world. I call it getting out the house. Leaving the nest. All those times i was still at home within myself. I never left my shell. There’s no point when that shell is filled with angels.

Language can be tricky. It can be used for yin and yang. It can be used for contuation or stagnation when concerning the path of self and how one wants to judge said self through language so that it may have something ethereal to manifest from. Before I continue I must say that there is a self because any indication of there not being a self relies on the suppusition there there is a self. Perception plays a role too, as in, agreeing or not to accept the definitions of the words you lay on yourself as true or not. The pessimist sees the world as signs and symbols and interprets stimuli af a higher level then the optimist, who is often naieve to the hidden world where everything comes from. This is why pessimists are often dualists. To the optimist it appears they are one-sided because they take them at face-value. Again, they are unable to see the hidden world where everything comes from. Those who fly under the radar appear that way because they are in direct contact with this world so as to filter their thoughts before speaking them. This world is a place pessimists visit often within themselves and rarely show out of. They show out only in dire situations, and that makes their actions that much stronger because they have kept sacred the hidden world where everything comes from so that it is pure and cutting-edge when it comes time to release it upon the known world. Like an endless stream does their wrath come out of them because they’ve been holding it in so long. 

Anytime you insert the I into a situation is when a princible of measurement can be applied to you as infinite potential to fail or succeed relative to the third party as the perfect amount of what you needed to be faced with. 

with chakra wheels that exist so we can find ourselves in a better light.

[koukoupepia]

under the cut bc ffxv spoilers but HEY

the more i think about it the more the ending pisses me off. because first of all the gods take out their fuck-ups on a human when it would be way more interesting and satisfying if the gods had to at least partially own up to their mistakes. even more so because ffxv was originally going to be very shakespearian. bahamut didnt have to keep noctis in the crystal for ten years until he accepted 100% in his soul that he had to die, that didnt actually work out for anyone bc the world basically ended during noctis’s absence. that makes it seem that it was noctis’s fault because he couldnt accept his own death sooner and thats not very fair. i guess bahamut didnt trust that he would do it as a 20 year-old what a fucker  

also youre telling me that gladio, ignis, and prompto just went on with their lives and didnt do everything in their power to save noctis???? that’s the most unrealistic thing about this scenario!! and what about the astrals that actually felt positively about noctis. ramuh appears when the boy so much as sneezes. gentiana/shiva keeps a constant watch on him. titan and leviathan dont necessarily like him but he proved himself to both of them so they actually help him out at certain points. the other boys could have enlisted their help, and those four couldve figured something out?

there arent any more rulers after noctis’s death. i feel like... it could have been better if he had dissolved that system and stepped down from being a king since he does it anyway. maybe I'm missing some details there but i feel like it would have been better than what did happen...? also the entire game puts huge emphasis on noctis trying to simultaneously accept his father’s death and his new role as king AND THEN HE DOESNT GET TO DO ANYTHING. this made me especially mad after episode prompto because of what he said about making the world a better place and making peace with niflheim, and. you know. the whole thing with prompto struggling to feel wanted, feeling like his best friend betrayed him, and being reassured that of course they love him they always did! theyre gonna work to make the world a better place! and then noctis promptly gets sucked into the crystal for 10 years bye noctis

afterlife wedding was bullshit. it didnt make me happy at all. it’s just something to make you feel satisfied without it actually being satisfying with a romance that didnt exist. luna deserved better cause you could have still done the whole story with her cut out and you wouldnt have lost much. i dont hate luna but from the omen trailer it looked like she had a bigger/more interesting role, and when ffxv was still versus, stella was an overall more interesting character bc she shared something in common with noctis 

but hey... the sun finally rose... i guess.... yayy..... 

#ffxv spoilers // #feat. ME BEING MAD