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princessbiteme0o0 · 2 months

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Just Friends, Hmm?

SMUT, SMUT, SMUT

So in other worDS MINORS D.N.I. 🔪

(Thank you @littleskeletonprincessss for the pic :) )

This is pure filth…

💫Beware💫

Description: Welcome to, I’m bored and my mind likes to run wild (a dream that I had last night). Schlatt makes my heart do the buhbump type o’ flutter (his dumbass makes me melt) so I hope you enjoy this as much as my brain enjoyed the dream.

Warnings: AHEM. SMUT… very VERY detailed smut ;)) Slight (fem pronouns, some adjectives) descriptors used, kinda Daddy kink? It’s only used a few times sooooo- but it’s HEAVILY implied.

Other than that, I’m sick and easily irritable, so if you don’t like it, don’t read it. Otherwise, hope you enjoy. (I don’t think it needs trigger warnings ((just Jay being rough)), but if you disagree lmk). Love y’all ❤️

(Updated A/N): RAAAAHHHH I AM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG- I’ve had a very rough last few days.

—💕—💕—

Schlatt should’ve known better than to cave when Ted asked for him to bring her onto the podcast. She was a fellow streamer and they hadn’t decided whether their relationship was anything real or if it was just ‘for funsies’, as she put it.

Biting the inside of his cheek, he watched her image through discord as she answered questions here and there for Ted, while he just leaned back in his chair and his eye twitched.

“So, (Y/N)… Anyone special in your life?” Ted asks, a small smirk on his lips as his eyes flashed to Schlatt’s- Ted had his suspicions, but no substantial evidence to his assumptions.

“No, not really.” She hums softly, taking a sip from her energy drink- He could use that.

“Where’s the gamer supps, (Y/N)?” His tone was stern and it made her eyes do a little flutter- that Ted definitely didn’t miss.

“Did you check up your ass and to the left?” She is quick to quip back, despite her little tumble.

“No, but would you like me to check yours?” He has an eyebrow raised in subtle warning and Ted is all grins as a warm blush raises on her cheeks.

“In your dreams, pube-cheeks.” She hisses out, glaring through the camera.

“Wanna repeat that, sweetheart?”

“Am I missing something?” Ted interjects, but she quickly composed herself and she shook her head, while Schlatt recovered from his fuming at her comment.

“Not a thing, Teddy.” She hummed, batting her eyelashes at him. The subtle flirtatious gesture did nothing but stoke the fire set on Schlatt’s ass.

“Mmh, that right, Honey?” If she was at his house right now, he’d bend her over his desk, finger fuck her until she couldn’t see straight and make her beg for him to stop. A brief silence on her end and her eyes becoming hazy for a moment was a sign that she was slipping back into submission, just at the way he spoke.

“Th-that’s right.” She tried to confidently huff out, but her voice came out shaky as she stuttered on her words. The interaction went forgotten between Ted and Tucker, but Schlatt couldn’t help but smirk each time he noticed her looking at him and adjusting herself in her seat. Once the recording for the podcast was over, Schlatt gripped his phone firmly in his hand and dialed her number.

“Jay…” Her voice whined as she answered. He let out a soft ‘tsk’, clicking his tongue before replying.

“Now, now… Is that any way to answer the phone, Toots?” He teased, making a soft whimper sound through the speaker of his phone. Chuckling softly, he leaned back in his chair.

“I’m sorry…” She mumbles softly.

“Then why don’t you come over here and show me just how sorry you are, Pumpkin?” He hums warmly, the grumble in his voice making her rub her thighs together and let out a shaky breath.

“Yes Sir…”

She doesn’t remember much of the drive to his house (obviously not, with so many distractions on her mind). Somehow, she became coherent enough to realize she was sitting in her car, staring at his house. Her heart raced in her chest, as it always did when he was involved. For the first time in a long, long time, someone made her feel special; made her want to dance in the rain, made her want to lay on a blanket and stare up at the stars. He made her want to do all of the stupid, cute shit you see in the cheesy romantic movies. He also made her melt, whether that be between her legs or her heart sat comfortably in her chest- she wanted to give him the world even though he already had it.

When she finally summoned the courage, she stepped out of her car and made her way towards his front door. Before she could even knock, the door is swung open and she’s pulled inside. The door is quickly slammed shut and she’s shoved against the wall, both hands pinned up by his right hand and his left hand resting comfortably around her throat. Her eyes closed and a smile spread across her lips at the feeling of his fingers pressed up against her soft skin.

“I don’t know what you’re smiling for, Toots.” He whispers in her ear, his mutton chops brushing against her cheek. “I never said I’d let you cum.”

“But, Jay…” She whines making him chuckle. Every sound she made and every expression that crossed her pretty little face made him fall more and more in love with her. He struggled to keep his composure for a moment, but then he lets out a soft tut.

“You made your bed, Honey… Now I’m gonna fuck you in mine.” He growls lowly, moving to quickly throw her over his shoulder. She lets out a soft squeal as he does this and she smacks his ass repeatedly as he walked towards his bedroom. She was giggling wildly as he trekked his way up the stairs and he felt his heart melt at the sound. He delivered a solid spank to her rear and she let out a soft sound somewhere between a yelp and a moan. Throwing her down on his bed, he crawled slowly and menacingly over her, his fingertips ghosting up the inside of her thighs.

“Not seeing anyone, hmm?” He asked, eyes glancing up at her as he leaned down to kiss her belly over her shirt.

“I- I’m-“ She stuttered out nervously, body trembling with every touch from him.

“What was that?” He played dumb, fingers moving further upwards and sneaking below her skirt.

“Jay I-“ She’s quickly cut off by a lewd whine when he presses his thumb firmly against her clit through her panties.

“Finish your sentence, Doll.” He hummed the demand as if it were the most simple thing to do in the world.

“P-please Jay…” She whines, hands reaching down to rush him, but the reply he growled made her retract her hands.

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare.”

“Yes Sir…” She mumbles and he slaps the inside of her thigh, making her repeat it more firmly to show that she understood. He pushed aside her panties and with a feather-lite touch, his fingers passed over her and he closed his eyes at the warmth while her juices already soaked his fingers. Her thighs subconsciously tried to close and as a result, he buried his teeth into her skin. She whined and thrashed beneath him as he sucked a warm, wet hickey on her inner thigh.

“You don’t seem to have such a problem with my pube-cheeks when they’re rubbing between your thighs.” He grumbled, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her sensitive bud, making her mewl his name.

“Jay!” Her voice whined out, making a chuckle reverberate through his chest and the air rolled vibrations across her warm, pulsating center.

“Maybe I should call Teddy and let him hear who really makes you feel good.” He growled softly, biting the inside of her thigh.

“N-no!” She squeaked out, hands fisting into the sheets as he sucked a dark purple mark on her soft, pale skin.

“Why not? You thought it was so appropriate to flirt with him right in front of me. What? You tryin’ to make me jealous, Toots?” He hummed, eyes peering up at her. As soon as his eyes met hers from his place settled between her legs, she looked away in an attempt to hide her growing blush.

“No!” She snapped, but he could practically hear the deception in her tone.

“Surely you know better than to lie to me by now, Angel.” He spoke lowly, a growl settling in the back of his throat while he spoke. Her legs quaked and the blush on her face creeped down her neck as she slowly became more and more embarrassed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She huffed, a frown set across her lips. While she wasn’t looking, Schlatt used this opportunity to press his middle finger and his ring finger inside of her. Her facial expression twitched, but she tried to hold her guard.

“C’mon, Pumpkin… You can tell me.” He cooed, trying to coax the truth out of her by curling his fingers upwards, making her body jolt with a rush of pleasure that made her blood run hot and her heart rate jump.

“Jay… Please…” She begged softly, her legs twitching on either side of him as he continued to work his fingers.

“You make it hard to focus when you beg with such a pretty voice.” He hums, tongue flashing out to run across her pretty little flower while he worked his fingers.

“Nnhhg J-ay!” She mewled, her legs closing around his head.

“Mmh look at you, my pretty little angel… I bet Ted would just love to see your face.” The sound that came from the back of his throat when she tightened around him at the thought would’ve struck fear into the depths of her soul if it wasn’t for the amount of pure bliss coursing through her every cell. “Oh, so you like that idea, hmm? Like letting your dear, sweet Teddy know who you really belong to?” He hissed, biting down on her clit and ripping a scream from the back of her throat.

“Schlatt! Pl-please!” She had tears running down her cheeks by now as she thrashed under his hold. He was quick to wrap one of his arms under her thighs and yank her closer to him so his face is pressed so deeply into her that she couldn’t possibly escape.

“Who do you belong to?” He growled as he pulled his fingers from her and replaced them with his tongue.

“You, Jay! I’m all- yours!” She hiccuped out, choking on her tears.

“Louder.” He grunted into her, the vibration of his words making her legs shake and clench around his head, squeezing his cheeks.

“I belong to you…” She whispered, barely able to breathe with the sheer pleasure making her body stutter and attempt to silence her, but Schlatt would have none of that so he sucked her throbbing bud into his mouth, flicking his tongue over it as he sucked. “Daddy!”

That one word made him stop for a moment. He lifted his head just enough to stare seemingly through her soul. “What was that, Toots?” His voice was just a touch above a whisper and he held back a smirk, just staring at her. Whimpering, she shook her head as her cheeks grew an inflamed shade of red.

“N-nothing Jay.” She mumbles out, unable to make eye contact with him. He gave her absolutely soaked pussy a light slap in correction.

“None of that…” He grumbled as she whined and mewled in embarrassed pleasure beneath him. “Say it again.”

“No…” She whispered softly, rapidly shaking her head in vibrant insecurity. Growling, Jay lowered his head between her legs again in an attempt to hear the word tumble from her lips again. When he slipped his fingers into her, angling them upwards and started sucking on her clit again, her hips bucked up and pretty whines fell from her lips once more. “Please, please, oh god, please Jay, please! Please, Daddy!” She cried out and Schlatt was absolutely delighted with the arch of her back and the sound of her voice.

“That’s it… Good girl, good fucking girl.” He hummed into her and in a second her hands were buried in his hair as she twitched over and over again.

“More- I need- Nnghh-“ She choked out, tugging on his hair. Schlatt pulled away for a moment and leaned his head on her thigh, looking up at her with a dopey grin.

“What is it, Pumpkin? Tell me what you need.” He cooed, placing gentle kisses along her thigh. His sudden turn to gentle behavior made her heart melt and her composure break.

“Need you, Daddy. Need it so bad.” She whines out softly, her voice broken and desperate.

“Aww, is that right? Baby doll needs her Daddy’s cock? Hmm? Is that it?” He asked while gently massaging her hips with his hands and placing warm, wet kisses across her abdomen.

“Need your cum… Please, Jay… Please?” Her request made him grind his hips against the bed. A deep rooted groan leaves him and he completely abandoned her aching cunt. Her words, her voice, her desperation, sent him into a state of pure adrenaline driven lust. Sitting back on his heels, he shoved his joggers down, making his cock bob free. He gripped her hips and yanked her towards him, curling her legs up over his shoulders and laying his body against hers. Sliding his cock deep into her, a squeak of surprised pleasure leaves her and his body twitched, letting out a sigh of relief.

“You want me to make you a mommy? Hmm? Want me to fuck a baby into you so I can see you all round and gorgeous?” She couldn’t do anything but mewl for him with the position he placed her in. He was quick to piston his hips against hers, hand squeezing between them so that his thumb could brush over her clit in tight circles.

“Yes Daddy! Yes, yes!” She nearly screamed, back arching and body shaking. Schlatt used his free hand to gently wrap around her neck, applying pressure carefully to the sides. A dark chuckle leaves his lips when he watches her eyes roll back in her head.

“Hope you’re ready, Toots… I’m not stopping until you’re so full of my cum that there’s no way you’re not pregnant.” He hums, pulling his hand from her neck to slip two fingers into her mouth. He watched and his cock twitched as she looked up at him with those big, innocent blue eyes as she sucked on his fingers and attempted to muffle her moans around them.

“Then, when I’m done with your pussy, I’m going to plug you up and make you swallow my cock. How that sound, my little Angel?” She whines and her pussy tightens as she approaches the edge. He slowed his thrusts just enough to teeter her on the edge. “Tell me who you belong to.” He grunts out between slow thrusts.

“You, Jay, you… I’m all yours- I love you.” As soon as the words leave her mouth, his thrusts pick back up, along with the movement of his hand on her clit. His lips crashed to hers, slipping his tongue into her mouth to assert his dominance, as if it wasn’t already clear enough.

“Fuck, Darlin’, I’m gonna cum.” He grumbles against her lips, pressing his forehead to hers.

“Please, please, please, please.” She chanted, nails digging into his shoulders, sure to leave marks for the next day. With a growl mixed somewhere with a groan, he shoves his cock as deep inside of her as it would go and releases. The feeling of his cum painting her walls caused a chain reaction- tears streaming down her cheeks, illegible sobbing words, her pussy clamping down so hard it nearly suffocated him and then finally, her pussy squirting and covering over his lower half, her lower half and even the sheets in her juices.

“Oh fuck, Pumpkin.” He mumbles as he tries to catch his breath. A smirk slowly inches its way across his lips and his eyes turned into a devious storm. “You made quite the mess, tsk… Let’s see if you can do it again.”

#jschlatt smut #schlatt smut #jschlatt x reader #schlatt x reader #schlatt fluff #jschlatt fluff

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softspaceboibrian · 11 months

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The Heart Wants What It Wants || Jamie Tartt

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Y/N where Y/N works at AFC Richmond || I used she/her pronouns, but there is no actual physical description, so the pronouns can be switched with whatever anyone wants or prefers!

Characters: Jamie Tartt; Keeley Jones and Rebecca Welton (Y/N's best friends); Sam Obisanya, Isaac McAdoo, Colin Hughes and Dani Rojas (Jamie's support team); Roy (being his usual grumpy self).

Summary: when Y/N goes into Rebecca's office to have her usual morning chat with her best friends, she doesn't expect it to result in a very messy confession from her crush.

Warnings: bad language, like a lot. slight sexual harassment. Roy being harsh with Jamie. Jamie being all over the place with his feelings. fluff, a lot of pining and crushing. just bad writing, really.

WC: 8355 (it's kinda long, I know... but I didn't know where to stop! sorry!)

A/N: This is my first time writing for JAmie or any Ted Lasso character in general. I hadn't written anything in months, and I guess it shows. but I was so sad that there weren't enough Jamie fics on here that I thought I could just write one of my own. hopefully people like it! I'm in the middle of my exam session, but if you have any requests or suggestions, feel free to write me!

this gif is completely unrelated, i just love phil dunstan

“Come in” Rebecca’s voice was clear and loud as always, even through the closed door. As you walked in, you took in the smell of hot tea permeating the door – definitely something you could always count on.

You greeted both Rebecca and Keeley, before plopping down on the sofa right in front of the big windows looking out onto the field. You looked out for a moment, noticing the team making their way outside to finally begin practice. You had been working at AFC Richmond for almost a year now, all thanks to Miss Keeley fucking Jones, obviously. Ever since you first day there, everyone had immediately started treating you as if you had always been part of the family, especially Rebecca. “If Keeley likes you so much, it must definitely mean something.” That was her excuse when she invited you out for drinks with the two of them on the second day. “Also, there’s only so many women working at AFC Richmond, we have to stick together, don’t we?” And the rest was history, as some author would say. Even the team had liked you since the get-go. Some more than others. There should be a disclaimer here: you had never cared for football, in any of its forms. But Keeley had been so persuading, making the job sound like a party. And she wasn’t lying. Being with the team was more fun than you could have ever imagined. Yes, some of them were self-centred, and some were self-centred pricks, even. But somehow, you had taken a liking to all of them. And now, after an entire year of working there, you knew them so well that she could even make out who was who all the way from Rebecca’s office.

You were so lost in your own thoughts, that when Keeley talked, you almost jumped out of her seat. “Babes, is everything alright?” Her voice was kind as always. “You seem off today.”

“Everything is fine.” You fixed yourself, turning around so to face both of your friends.

You smiled, or rather you forced yourself to make your smile feel as real as possible. But when you met Rebecca’s gaze you froze. She was holding one of those shortbread biscuits that Ted brought her in every morning and that you only had the pleasure to taste once and, well, you completely understood why Rebecca loved them so much. “I call bullshit.”

“What?”

“I said I call bullshit.” The woman put the last remaining bit of biscuit in the small, pink cardboard box, as to save it for later, and then made her way on the couch with you and Keeley. “You have been off for, well, quite a few days now. And I love that you’re an independent woman and everything, but Keeley and I are your friends. Actually, I would like to believe that we are your best friends. We care for you and we would very much appreciate it if you would trust us enough to come to us with your problems and thoughts.”

“Yeah, babes. You know we’re always here for you.” Keeley moved closer to you and leaned against the back of the couch.

You sighed, burying your face in your hands. You had wanted to talk with them for a while now, but you were always too afraid they wouldn’t care about it, or you were too embarrassed about how they might react to it. But this time it was them that asked you to tell them. And they seemed truly interested in knowing what was going on in your mind.

“Chop, chop, out with it.” Rebecca let her heels fall to the ground and set herself comfortably in the corner of the couch. Yeah, well, as comfortable as that extremely fitted pencil skirt gave her permission to.

You bit your lip for a moment, gathering all the courage you had. “It’s stupid, really.” You tried to laugh it off, hoping that they would just let it go.

But they didn’t. “It’s not stupid if it’s making you feel like this.” Keeley said, putting a hand on yours.

“Fine.” You sighed, looking off in front of you. “I think I may have feelings for Jamie.” You blurted out as quickly as you could.

“Our Jamie? Like, Jamie Tartt?” Keeley asked.

“I know it’s stupid. I shouldn’t like him, right? I know you think it’s stupid. I know you think he’s a prick, and you’re not wrong. I know that he’s a prick. Fuck, that makes me hate myself even more. How could I like a prick? Well, he had changed a bit, and now he-s a bit less of a prick. But still, he’s Jamie fucking Tartt, he’s probably one of the hottest footballers out there, in any way possible. He could fucking have whoever he wanted. Hell, he could have a fucking model. I’m sure he had model. He had you, Keels. And I’m just me. I fucking hate that I’m feeling this.” You started rambling on aimlessly, putting out there in only a few seconds all the fears and insecurities you had been holding in for the past who knows how long.

“Hey, love. Just, wait a minute.” Rebecca’s voice broke your train of thoughts, thankfully just in time, or who knows where you could’ve ended. “Let’s just calm down a moment, okay?”

“It’s just-” You sighed. “I hate that I’m feeling these feelings. I don’t want to feel them. Not for him. I don-t want to be his latest conquest that he’s going to move on from and forget as soon as he finds someone more interesting. I don’t want this. But I can’t help it. I… Fuck, I feel like I’m back in middle school. Shit, shit, shit. How old am I? 12? No, I’m not. I’m 25 years old, for fuck’s sake. I should fall for proper man. Not people like him.” Your eyes filled up with tears, which you tried to hide as best as you could, even though you knew that the other two would notice them, nonetheless.

And they did. Rebecca and Keeley shared a quick glance, before sliding even closer to you, both immediately wrapping their arms around your figure. “Listen, babes. You said it yourself. I’ve been with Jamie, and he was in his top prick form back then. Now he’s… he’s changing. I don’t know if it’s the training with Roy or if it’s Ted finally rubbing off on him, but he’s no longer the dickhead I dumped almost two years ago.”

“She’s right. He has changed.” Rebecca agreed with Keeley. “Also, you cannot tell your heart what it should and shouldn’t feel. It will only cause you more pain, and we definitely don’t want that.” The woman had this motherly instinct that you had always loved. She always knew what to say to make you feel better, or at least less shitty about yourself. “And remember, you could never do worse than me. I was married to the king of the shitheads.” She added, which made both you and Keeley laugh.

“Okay, let’s do this.” Keeley got up and ran to the door, only to lock it and run back to the couch. “If it’s alright with Rebecca, we’re going to take the morning off to talk, just the three of us.”

“Sounds perfect to me. I really didn’t have much to do anyway.” Rebecca was a great liar. You knew she probably had so many documents to read through and to sign. But she always made time to help you with your problems. And that’s why you loved her so much. “Is that right with you, love?”

You didn’t even need to say anything. You barely nodded, and next thing you knew, the three of you were sitting on the couch with no shoes on, a warm cup of tea each and a big chunky blanket on your legs. You never really thought they would be this open with you. Yes, they had made it clear ever since the beginning that they liked you and that they cared for you. But you had never thought that you could go to them for something like that and they would do all of that for you. But they did.

“Okay, let’s start with one simple question: are you two talking? Or, I don’t know, did you go on a date?” Keeley’s question was very straightforward and made completely sense. However, the answer wasn’t as easy to give.

“Well, we haven’t really gone on like a proper date. But we did spend quite a lot of time together last week.” You looked at the other two and you could feel them asking for more information with just their eyes. “It didn’t start as the best of situations…”

------------------------------ FLASHBACK ------------------------------

You didn’t really want to go out that night. It wasn’t really your thing. You usually spent your nights at home, reading a book or watching a movie. Or, if you were lucky, you would go out with Keeley and Rebecca for dinner and drinks, which you loved. What you didn’t love was going out for drinks with people you weren’t as comfortable with. But you had never really learnt how to say no to people, so when your old high school friend – who had moved to America for college and you hadn’t heard from since – messaged you on Instagram, saying that she was back in London for a few days and wanted to go out with you to “catch up”, you couldn’t really bring yourself to decline the offer or make up an excuse. So, you just agreed and made plans to meet up with her in front of a very busy and very fancy place downtown. You hated clubs, especially busy one, but even more you hated going to new places without people you knew. But you knew the girl, in a way. You were really close in high school, so things shouldn’t be too bad, right?

“So, you’re working for a football club! Never thought it would happen!” The girl shouted over the loud music which you were already hating with all your guts. But you just pulled through it.

“Yeah, it’s a good job.” You hated having to raise your voice so much, but it was the least you could do if you wanted to have a conversation with her.

“Do you know any famous footballer?”

“I mean, I know the boys from the team. I suppose they’re famous now. But yeah.”

“Would you introduce me to any of them?”

There it was. You had been talking with her for half an hour and, knowing how she was back in high school, you had been wondering how she hadn’t yet asked you about the guys. A small part of you really wanted to believe that she had changed and that she had stopped sleeping around with guys just because they were hot. But apparently, you were wrong. “Well, it’s complicated. They’re in the middle of the Premier season right now, and most of them are training really hard hoping to be rostered for their national teams. Plus, you’re only going to be in town for a few days, so that wouldn’t really work.”

“I wouldn’t mind moving my flight back for a footballer.” She smirked.

“Maybe next time.” You fake-smiled. “Also, who would want to go out with a football player? Most of them are self-centred assholes who only care about winning.”

“But they are sexy and they have money.”

“But you’re studying law in an ivy league college, you could be the one with money in the relationship.”

“Nah, I don’t really care about that. If a hot guy with money wanted to be with me, I would literally give everything up.” She said, as if that was the most obvious answer. Now you were remembering why you never reached out to her after high school was over.

You spent another half hour listening to her blabbering about something you didn’t really care about. And you could tell that she knew, but didn’t say anything. That was how things had always been between the two of you back in school: she was the popular one, with guys running after her, and her constantly cancelling plans that you two had made to go on a date with a different guy, while you spent your afternoons with the drama club, putting on the next show, to which she was always invited but she never came. It wasn’t all bad. You actually had good times with her. You spent a lot of time over at her house, and you were almost part of her family. But once you were no longer forced to see each other every single day at school, it didn’t take long for you to realise you were completely different. So, you just stopped looking for each other, making plans or going out. That’s why, when the messages stopped coming altogether, it didn’t really hurt you, since you were the first that had started to back out from that friendship. But years had passed and you had really hoped she had grown out of that phase of her life. But you were wrong. People never change, that was what you said to yourself as you were absentmindedly nodding to whatever she was saying now.

“Listen, Y/N, do you mind if I leave you alone here for a moment? There’s a guy over there that has been eyeing me for a while now and, I don’t know, I have this feeling I should go over there.” That was her usual excuse. I have this feeling. As if sexual craving could be described as an actual feeling. But you didn’t care, you actually wouldn’t mind to spend a few minutes by yourself. So, you just told her to go. And she did. Not a single “are you sure you don’t mind” nor an “it will be quick, I promise”. She simply picked all her stuff up and left.

And then you were alone.

You thought about leaving a couple of times, but you thought it would be rude because what would happen if she came back and you weren’t there?

So, you just remained seated there, in the small booth, waiting. And waiting. You looked around, studying the crowd, and hoping that she would just come back, or at least text you to let you know her intentions for the rest of the night. But that message never came. And you waited there, alone.

Until, after almost twenty minutes, a random man approached you. He had to have been at least 15 years older than you. He was dressed all fancy, a black blazer and jeans, a white shirt with the first couple of buttons left open to show a few sparse grey hairs on his chest, as if that was something that all women found sexy; I mean, who did he think he was? Roy Kent? He walked over to your table and leaned on it to get closer to you. “Is this seat taken?”

The first thing that hit you was the almost nauseating amount of perfume and aftershave, closely followed by the stench of cigarette and alcohol as soon as he opened his mouth. “I’m waiting for a friend.” You replied, hoping that would be enough to send him away.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been sitting here alone for quite some time now.” He smiled, and you wanted to throw up. “And I don’t she’s coming back. She and that boy looked very intimate if you know what I mean.”

That comment sent shivers down your spine. How long had he been looking at you? “I’m waiting for another friend of ours.” You said, hoping that he would buy it.

He moved closer to you. “Let me wait with you. I wouldn’t want to leave such a pretty girl out here on her own.”

You hated when people called you a girl. You were a grown woman, for god’s sake! But you hated it even more when that comment came from creepy old men that were nonchalantly flirting with you.

“They should be here any minute now.” You replied quickly. “And I actually prefer to sit alone.”

“Nonsense! Let me keep you company!” He smirked, sliding even closer to you. You were on the verge of tears, feeling this awful sensation in your stomach. You felt like you were going to throw up, and you weren’t sure whether it was because of his terrible taste in perfumes, the horrible stench of smoke, or just his presence in general. You wanted to just get up and get away, but it was as if your legs had forgotten how to move. You tried to insist, telling him that you were going to meet them outside, but he wouldn’t let you go. He started moving his hand, and you knew that, if you didn’t move, he would put it on your thigh. But, with tears pooling at the corners of your eyes, your body completely froze.

“Y/N!” A voice called your name. You turned around to look at the source. Your vision was hazy from the tears, and the strobe lights weren’t exactly helping you in that moment. “I’m sorry I’m late, I couldn’t find a spot to park me car.” He walked over to your table and waited for you to do or say something to sit next to you.

“You’re Jamie fucking Tartt!” The old man exclaimed. “Fuck, man. You’re great! My mates and I don’t really like Richmond, but you’re the best player in the team. You and that Oby- Obe-, you know, the Nigerian guy.”

“Yeah, cheers, man.” Jamie replied, taking a seat next to you. “Now, would you mind leaving us alone?”

“Is she your date?” The man asked, and you could tell that he was confused because why would a star like Jamie Tartt go out with a normal girl like you?

“Do you have a problem?”

“No, no!” The old man finally stood up from the table. “You enjoy her.” He smirked and gave him a wink, before looking at you up and down for the last time and eventually leave.

You finally could feel your body relax again when your attention was caught by Jamie talking. “What a fucking creep.” He shook his head, before finally looking at you. “Are you alright? Did he do anything to you?”

You shook your head. “I think you got here just in time.” You smiled at him, almost feeling guilty for probably having ruined his night.

“Were you here alone?”

“Well, not really. I was here with a friend but she left with a guy.” You stopped, quickly looking around. “But I don’t think she’s coming back.”

“Some kind of friend.” He sighed, still looking at you, as if he were studying you, trying to understand if everything was truly okay, trying to assess the situation. “Do you want to leave?”

“What?”

“I said, do you want to go out, maybe grab a bite?” He raised his voice, thinking that you might have not heard him over the loud music.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay. You can go back to your evening if you want. I’m fine, I swear.”

“I was here on me own.”

“You go to clubs alone?”

“Well, yeah.” He looked at you for a moment. “Listen, really, I don’t have anything to do here. And in any case, I would much rather spend time with you. So, if you want to leave and do something actually funny instead of waiting for some shitty friend to hopefully come back, then count me in.”

------------------------- END OF FLASHBACK -------------------------

“Did you go with him?” Keeley asked, looking at you as if she was watching the latest episode of a soap opera, completely hooked up to the story.

“We spent the entire night together.” You said shyly.

“Doing what?” You had never seen Rebecca so shocked and interested in a story in a while.

“We ate in a chicken shop; we stayed there talking for a while and then we took a walk.”

“How long did you stay out for?”

You could feel both Keeley’s and Rebecca’s eyes on you, demanding an answer, wanting to know more, to know everything. “Well, we took the sunrise as our cue to go home.”

“Babes! You’re telling me that you stayed up all night talking with Jamie?” Keeley squealed, jumping on her knees. “Like, you found topics to talk about for, what, 7? 8 hours?”

“It wasn’t that difficult. I didn’t even have to force it.”

“What did you talk about?” Asked Rebecca. And all of a sudden, the almost 50-year-old and 30-year-old women in front of you turned back into their high school personas and you almost wanted to laugh at how adorably funny that scene was.

“Well, a bit of everything, you know. Our lives, where we grew up, our favourite things, favourite food, favourite movie, favourite city, the books that have impacted us the most, the cities that we dream of visiting one day. Normal stuff.”

Keeley looked at you, in complete shock. “You talked about books. With Jamie. How?”

“He said that he had noticed I like to read and asked me about my favourite book. I told him and then asked him the same thing. And he told me.” You replied, as if that was obvious. But it was only then that you remember that Keeley had been with Jamie in the past and, if she was that shocked, it must have meant that, when they were together, he didn’t read. Possibly at all.

“Babes, remember when I told you he had changed since I had broken up with him, right? Well, that’s an understatement. When we were together, it was fun, but we didn’t really talk about that kind of stuff. He was much more superficial. I don’t think he never really asked me what my favourite food was. And the fact that he was taking an interest in all of those things about you, well, it definitely means something. I wouldn’t take that for granted.” Hearing Keeley, someone you trusted with all of your heart, someone you loved and looked up to, someone that truly knew who you were talking about, saying all of those things, made you feel things. You didn’t know what those things meant, but they were things you hadn’t felt in a long time. And for the first time in days, you were finally accepting the idea of having feelings for Jamie Tartt.

After a few moments of silence, Rebecca asked you “Was that the only time you spent time together?”

“Well, no. I mean, we’ve been talking basically every single day. He sends me a good morning text almost every day, and we talk a lot at night. Sometimes he calls me.”

“Okay, okay. That’s good.” Rebecca said, almost as if she was an investigator gather all the evidence. “But you didn’t answer my question: did you go out another time?”

You immediately felt heat rising to your cheeks. “We didn’t really go out.” You looked at the two women in silence for a moment. “Last night he… ehm… he showed up to my place.”

“What?” They both almost screamed at the same time.

------------------------------ FLASHBACK ------------------------------

You had just finished putting on your pyjamas after a long warm shower. You still had to decide what you wanted to eat, something you always dreaded because, as much as you loved cooking, you hated preparing food for one. You started making your way down the stairs and to the kitchen when your doorbell rang. You weren’t really expecting anyone, so the sound left you confused. You looked through the peephole before even saying anything, so that if it was someone you didn’t know, you could jut pretend you weren’t at home. But, when you looked through it, you were surprised to see Jamie standing right outside of your door.

You immediately took a look at yourself in the mirror right beside the door, trying to make yourself look at least presentable, before finally opening the door. When Jamie’s entire figure came into view, you noticed the food boxes in his hands. “Jamie?”

“Hi, Y/N! Ehm, I’m sorry to barge in on you like this but… ehm… I thought we could spend some time together, you know?” Was Jamie blushing?

You stood there, a soft smile on your lips, looking at the man in front of you. “Sure.” You giggled, moving to open the door even more, as a way to let him in.

“I’m sorry, I should have texted or called. That was stupid. If you’re busy I can just-”

You cut him off. “Jamie. I’m not busy. You can come in. I just wasn’t expecting visitors, so the house is, well, it’s not tidy.” You take a step forward to take some of the boxes off of him. “What’s with all of this food? Did you rob a supermarket?” You laughed, nodding your head as a sign for him to follow you, before making your way to the kitchen.

“No!” He laughed, and suddenly you felt this weird sensation in your stomach. “I didn’t know what you were craving and so I got everything that you told me you liked.” He said, while putting the boxes on the counter. “I got us a pizza to share, because you said you’re not a huge fan, but that you like to eat it while watching movies. I also got us kebabs because they’re always good, and sushi because why not. Oh, and I also got us those spicy Korean rice thingies that you said you love so much. What’s their name? Tee- To-”

You laughed as he struggled to say the word. “Tteokbokki.”

“Yeah, those.” He smiled, putting his hands on his sides.

“Just a question.” You walked around the kitchen gathering cutlery and plates to eat. “How many people did you think were going to be here? There’s enough food to feed an army.”

He looked at you and then the food, before bursting out laughing. “I told you! I didn’t know what you were craving. And I wanted to do something nice for you, but I overdid it.”

You put the plates on the counter and turned to look at him. “It’s okay, I appreciate it anyways.” You smiled. “But why would you wanted to do this for me? It’s not my birthday or anything.”

“I just… I had a very good time with you the other night.” Was Jamie blushing? Again? “And I was really in the mood to watch a good movie. So, who better than you to watch it with.”

You smiled, trying to hide the blushing coming onto your cheeks as well by turning your attention to the food on the counter. “Did you have a movie in mind?” You asked, while putting the different foods on the plates.

“You said that you really like Dead Poets Society, right? And that you think everyone should watch it at least once in their lifetime, right? So, I thought, since I’ve never seen it, we could, I don’t know, watch it together. If you want to, obviously.” He waited for you to plate the food to pick a couple of plates up and follow you into the living room.

“That actually sounds like a perfect plan, Mr Tartt.” You smiled, while taking a seat on the couch, waiting for him to join you.

------------------------- END OF FLASHBACK -------------------------

“Fucking hell, that’s adorable!” Keeley exclaimed. “He never did that for me! When he showed up uninvited, it was usually because he wanted to have sex.”

“Well, this is good!” Rebecca joined in. “He has changed. He listened to what you told him, he remembered your favourite food and your favourite movie. And before you say something like ‘but that’s not a big dead!’, yes it fucking is. It is a huge deal. Men aren’t always reliable. Rupert never was, at least. I vividly remember telling him my favourite drink at least a dozen times. And every single time he would get me something completely different. At the beginning I was too afraid to say anything, so I just drank it. But then I started to speak up. And still, he didn’t remember.”

“Yeah, okay, but him remembering that I like pizza only when watching movie doesn’t mean he feels anything for me.” You said, throwing your head back.

“I’m sorry, babes, didn’t you say that he told you that he wanted to spend time with you?” Keeley asked. “You said it yourself: he came to your place with all the food you had told him you liked and suggested to watch your favourite movie together because he had had a good time with you and wanted to do that again.”

“He decided to spend time with you rather than going out with other people or spend the night texting some random girl on dating apps.” Added Rebecca. “He chose to be with you.”

“I suppose you’re right.” You sighed. “I still don’t think he has feelings for me, though.”

“Whatever, babes.” Keeley took a sip out of her mug, before refocusing on you. “What happened next? Did you watch the movie?”

“Yes, we did.” You smiled at the memory. “He got emotional at the end. I’m not saying that he cried, but he definitely had glossy eyes by the time of the ‘O Captain, my Captain’ scene.”

“Which means he feels comfortable enough to show his emotions in front of you.” Rebecca noted. “And what happened next? Did he leave or did you spend another night talking?” She smirked, trying to make fun of you in a friendly way, almost mom-like.

“Well, he stayed a while longer.” You looked at the two women. “We talked a little about the movie, he told me what he thought of it, we discussed a little about why I thought it is a very important and still relevant movie, and he agreed with me. At first, I have to be honest, I thought he was just agreeing with me to not make me feel bad. But then he added to my argument and I stood corrected. He had truly understood the point of the movie and of my thoughts. For the first time in, gosh, I don’t even know how long, I felt seen, listened and understood by someone that wasn’t you two or Sam.”

Keeley brought a hand to her chest. “I have conflicted feelings because, by the way you’re talking, I want to tell you to just run out of here and into this man’s arms; but at the same time, every now and then, I remember you’re talking about Jamie, and it feels so weird because he’s so different from what I remember him to be like.” She explained. “Which is good, but kind of unsettling.”

Rebecca nodded along with what Keeley said, before eventually turning once again to face you. “What happened after you talked?”

“We decided to watch Modern Family, you know, to cheer ourselves up after the movie.”

“And?” Asked in unison the two women.

“And nothing.”

“I call bullshit.” Said Rebecca.

“Agreed.” Added Keeley. “What aren’t you telling us?”

“Nothing!”

“That’s not true!” They once again spoke in unison, which was starting to become quite weird.

“Nothing happened. We just… fell asleep.” You almost murmured those last words, almost too scared to say it out loud in front of them.

“I’m sorry, what?” Asked Rebecca, who had obviously heard and just wanted you to say it again out loud.

“We fell asleep!” You shouted. And you were so glad that Rebecca’s office was so high up and far from others. “As we were watching the show, he started leaning into me. At first, he laid his head on my shoulder, and then, somehow, we ended up with his head in my lap and my hands in his hair.” You could feel your cheeks burning up.

The two women shared a quick look, before turning back to you, huge smiles on their faces. “When did he fall asleep?” Asked Keeley.

“I don’t know.” You looked down at your own hands. “I fell asleep as well. I don’t know how or when, but when I woke up, it was like 3 in the morning, and we were lying on the couch. He had his head on my stomach and an arm draped over my waists.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing.” You were fidgeting with your bracelet, too embarrassed to look up and meet your friends’ eyes. “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t want him to go away.” For some reason your eyes started filling up with tears.

“Hey, babes. It’s all right.”

“No, it’s not!” You almost shouted, tears finally falling down your face. “It’s not fucking okay. I hate feeling like this.”

“Love, hey, just… wait a second. Take a deep breath.” Rebecca moved closer and wrapped her arms around you. “Why do you hate it?”

“I don’t know. I’m feeling all these things for someone that doesn’t even like me back.”

“You don’t know that, Y/N.” Keeley moved closer as well, taking your hand in hers and leaning her head against yours. “I mean, you’re the coolest person I know, you’re fucking smart and interesting, and you’re fit as fuck. I think most of the team has at least a tiny crush on you.” She smiled, hoping to cheer you up. But that didn’t work.

“Listen, love.” Rebecca squeezed you, before pulling away slightly. “As that song says, the heart wants what it wants. I know feeling like this is terrible, but there’s only one thing that you can really do, and that’s talking to him.”

“But what if he says that he was just being a good friend? What if I misread every single thing he has done and said to me up until now?”

“And what if you haven’t?” Keeley asked. “Finding you at that club was completely random, pure luck. But he then chose to spend the entire night with you. Just like he chose to send you a good morning text every single day, and he chose to come and spend the evening with you. Also, I’m almost 100% sure that he woke up as well during the night, but didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to go, just like you didn’t want him to leave.” Keeley brushed a rogue strand of hair out of your face. “I know it’s hard, but you have to act.”

“But I’m scared.”

“Which means that you care.” Rebecca smiled. “You care about him and about your relationship.”

You looked at the two women in silence for a few moments. You wanted to cry, and you wanted to scream. You wanted to run out of there and straight to Jamie. You wanted to hug Keeley and Rebecca ad tell them how much you loved them. But all you could do in that moment was smile and be glad for the wonderful friends you had. “So, I should go and talk to him?”

“Yes.” Keeley smiled.

“And you should do it right now.” Said Rebecca, standing up from the couch. “The team is going back inside, which could be a good moment for you to swoop in and talk with Jamie.” She seamlessly slipped back in her high heels and fixed her blouse. “And if anyone has anything to say about it, they will have to come to me. I’m the owner of this club, after all.” She winked.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The team had just made their way to the changing room, ready to hear Roy giving them “pointers”, or rather making sure they knew every little thing they had done wrong. But Jamie didn’t really care about that. Jamie knew that he had played like shit, but he couldn’t help it. His head was someplace else.

“Oi, Tartt!” Roy’s voice echoed in the room, and everyone’s head turned to look at the man sitting in front of his changing station. “What the fuck were you thinking, uh? You fucked all the assists. The team was constantly looking for you, and you were nowhere to be found!”

Jamie’s eyes remained low on the ground. “’m sorry, coach.” His voice was soft. “I’ll do better next time.”

His teammates couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Somehow, in the span of 24 hours, Jamie had lost all of his confidence. They looked at him and almost couldn’t recognise him. And the worst past was that no one really knew what to do with him, how to talk to him, how to cheer him up. Because that’s the thing with teams: you’re a family, you’re all extremely close, but you’re still a bunch of men that don’t know how to handle emotions and how to talk about their feelings. So, they just bottle everything up and hope that, sooner or later, it will just go away.

But right now, looking at Jamie, Sam felt compelled by something to just stand up and walk over to him, to say something. “Is everything all right?”

Sam’s voice startled Jamie, who was so deep in his thoughts he had almost forgotten he was at the clubhouse. “Uh?” Jamie looked up and was met by Sam’s concerned look. “No, yeah, everything is fine.”

“It don’t look like it, bruv.” Isaac joined in the conversation.

Sam took a seat next to Jamie. “You don’t have to talk to us about whatever is on your mind. We’re not going to force you. Just know that we’re here for you.”

“Sì, muchacho. We’re a familia.” Dani and Colin walked over as well, almost forming a barrier between him and the rest of the room, creating a safe space for him.

No one said anything for a few moments, most of them unsure of how to act, of what to say to him. They wanted to ask him, to help him, but they had no idea how. So, they all remained quiet, until Jamie broke the silence. “I feel so stupid.” Jamie’s voice was low. “I… I feel like a middle schooler.”

“What do you mean?” Colin asked.

Sam immediately turned to look at Jamie. “Did something happen with your dad?” And Jamie could feel the worry in Sam’s voice.

“No, no, I haven’t talked with me dad since Wembley.” He shook his head, rubbing his face. “No, I… You’re going to laugh…” He looked up, but all he saw was seriously interested faces, the faces of friends that were genuinely concerned for him. “I have a crush…” He almost whispered, but it was still loud enough for them to hear. They all shared a quick look amongst themselves, before turning to look again at the man sitting before them. “I feel so stupid because, usually, I have all this confidence with women, right? I’m so sure about me self that I don’t worry about the possibility of a rejection. It doesn’t affect me, usually…”

Sam nodded along with everything that Jamie said, as if he could relate to every little detail. “But with this woman in particular, you’re scared.”

Isaac asked the question that everyone wanted to ask. “Who is this woman?”

Jamie looked up from the ground, meeting everyone’s eyes. He could tell that his friends wanted to help him, but something was stopping him, almost too afraid to admit he had feelings for her, too scared that they would laugh in his face and say that she deserved better than him.

“Muchacho, you’re a beautiful man, and every woman would be lucky to be with you.” Dani always had this way of talking that could give confidence even to the shiest and most introverted person in the world.

“No, you don’t understand. This woman is different from the others.” He sighed. “She’s not a top model or an aspiring actress that wants to be with me because I’m famous. She’s… she’s different.” Jamie started fidgeting with the ends of his shoelaces. “And I’m different. I’m not the same person I was two years ago, I know that. And I think that’s why I’m so scared. Like, what if she doesn’t like me? What if she still thinks I’m a prick? Uh?”

“Listen, boyo. You said it yourself; you have changed. And if this woman doesn’t like your new you, then too bad for her.” Colin took a seat next to Jamie, opposite to Sam. “But if you truly like her, you should tell her. Don’t let your fear get in the way of your happiness, okay?”

“Yeah, like Selena Gomez said in her song, the heart wants what it wants.” Smiled Dani.

Jamie looked at those people around him, and for a moment he felt all the guilt for how he had treated them two years before rise to the top. Did they forget everything he had done to them? Did they forget how bad he had made them feel? He had treated them so poorly, and yet, now they were there, next to him, showing care and interest in how he was feeling. “Thank you, boys.” He smiled softly.

“You know we’re here.” Sam smiled, giving him a small push with the shoulder. “We’re family.”

“Yeah, bruv.” Isaac added. “But are you going to tell us who this woman is or not?”

However, their conversation was cut short by the door to the changing room opening, and Y/N walking in, looking around, clearly searching for someone. And that was when the boys realised Jamie didn’t need to tell them anything, because as soon as he saw her, he stood up. He fixed his hair and immediately took a step forward. None of them said anything. They just remained quiet and watched the scene unfold in front of their eyes.

“Jamie.” You smile once you finally met his eyes.

“Y/N” He replied, softly, taking another step towards her.

“Do you… do you think we could talk for a moment? Alone?” She said quietly, but the silence in the room made it extremely complicated for her not to be heard by everyone.

Jamie nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

You smiled, turning around to exit the changing room. Jamie took a deep breath, turning quickly to look at the four guys standing a few steps away from him. He nodded to them, and they nodded to him in return, as a way to say ‘you got this’ or ‘go get her’. So, he took one more deep breath, and followed her outside.

Once he stepped into the corridor, he noticed Keeley and Rebecca standing in the middle of it, looking at the two of them. Keeley smiled, which gave Jamie a boost of confidence, Whereas Rebecca was looking at him in such an intimidating way that immediately sent shivers running down his spine. He knew they were there for you, and he knew how much they cared for you, so it wasn’t difficult for him to understand what Rebecca’s gaze meant: ‘break her heart and I’ll break you’.

He greeted the two women with a quick nod, before realising you were still walking down the corridor. “Wait up, Y/N!” He said, jogging after you. “Where are we going?”

“Boot room. It’s the quietest place in here.” You looked at him, noticing his expression, as if he wanted to say something. “I already asked Will to leave us alone in there.” You replied, quickly grabbing him by his hand and pulling him through the doorway.

“You always think about everything.” He chuckled, getting into the room. He never really understood when or how that room had become like a sort of therapy room for the team, where most of them went when they needed to get something off of their chest or just be alone, but couldn’t leave the clubhouse. That place stank like hell. But he was glad nonetheless for the privacy. “You had your supporters with you as well, uh?” He smiled.

“Yeah.” You laughed under your breath. “They are actually the ones that forced me to come and talk to you.”

“Should I be scared, then?”

“No! No.” You shake your head. “I don’t think so.” You started pacing around the room, trying to give order to all the things you had in your head at the moment.

“Is everything alright?” Jamie looked at you, slightly worried.

You looked at him, taking a deep breath. “Yes.” You nodded. “Just give me a moment because I haven’t really thought about what I want to say to you. Or rather, how I want to say it to you.”

Jamie nodded, taking a step towards you and catching your hand before you stepped away again. “Do you mind if I go first, then?”

You looked at him, surprise painted all over your face. You didn’t know what to say, so you simply nodded, waiting for him to talk.

“Okay, so, first of all, I wanted to tell you that last night was… well, I really enjoyed spending time with you, and I really wish we could do it more often.” He smiled, squeezing your hand as a way to catch your attention. “And then to the difficult part... Okay. The boys told me to just be me self. But it’s difficult, you know? Because, like, I am always me self, but when I’m with you, I’m different from how I am with the others. Not in the sense that I’m not truly me self, but in the sense that, when I’m with you, I’m me self even more than usual.” He stopped, looking down. “Sorry, I didn’t really have anything prepared either.” He chuckles.

You couldn’t help but smile. “Go on, you’re doing great.” You said, trying to look at him in the eyes.

“What I’m trying to say is that when I’m with you, I feel like I’m truly me self. Like I’m the most authentic version of me. And I like it. I want to be like that always. But I feel like I can only be like that when I’m with you.” He looks at you. “I lied before. I don’t want to be with you more often.” You stopped and looked at him completely confused. “I want to be with you as much as I can. I want to be with you every fucking day.” You giggled, feeling the blood rushing up your neck and to your cheeks. “I want to make lunch for you. Well, no, okay. I want to learn how to make lunch for you. I want to take you out to dinner. And I also want to order in and watch a movie on a couch like we did last night. I want you to play with me hair because, fuck, that’s the most relaxing shit ever.” You bit your bottom lip, trying to contain all the happiness that you were feeling in that moment. “I want to go out with our friends and be able to show you off. I want to hold your hand as we walk down the street.”

“Jamie…”

“Wait a second.” He interrupted you, pulling you even closer. “I want you to wear my jersey at matches. And to cheer for me. And I want to kiss you whenever we win a match. In front of everyone. I want to go out and celebrate with the team, and while we’re there, I want to hold you close while we talk with them, and then be able to just walk home together and celebrate just the two of us. And I don’t mean have sex. I mean, that would be fun, but I meant like having a party just the two of us. Drinking, and dancing and laughing. Or we don’t have to go home, and we can just walk around town all night, like we did that time.” He became all serious all of a sudden. “I want to be able to protect you from creepy old men. Actually, no. That wouldn’t be necessary because you would never need to go out by yourself ever again.”

“Jamie, I…”

“Wait, I’m not done.” He interrupted you once more. “I want to be able to sleep over at your place and you over at mine. I want us to buy toothbrushes to leave at the other’s house. I want to wake up next to you like we did today, but I want that every single day. I want to have me clothes at your place and your clothes at mine. I want to drive Roy mad by telling him last minute that I’m sleeping over at your place, so he has to come all the way there. And after I’m done training with him, I want to stop at a cafe as I get back home and I want to buy your favourite latte, so that you can wake up to the smell of warm coffee every day.”

“Jamie!” You shouted, trying to stop him from talking.

“What?”

“Just-” Your hands found their way to the back of his head, as your eyes remained fixed on his. “Just kiss me, will you?” You laughed, before pulling him down towards you.

When your lips finally crashed against one another, you could feel the tension you had been holding in your stomach finally releasing. You pushed yourself on your tiptoes, as Jamie’s hands slowly and softly found their resting place on the small of your back, helping you up, and pulling you closer to his chest. Your hands played with his hair, and in that moment, you were sure he could feel your heart beating like crazy in your chest.

“So…” He whisper while pulling slightly away, only to press his forehead against yours. “Did you want to say something?”

You kept your eyes closed, too afraid to open them and realise that it was only just a dream. “I think you said everything.” You chuckled, trying to get some air back in your lungs.

“Well, if you wanted to say something…”

“Jamie.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

A/N: sorry, this was so long! so, if you read it all the way through, then thank you! please, feel free to leave me any kind of feedback and don't forget to send me suggestions or requests if you have them! thank you again! ily <3

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fic #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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bad268 · 3 months

Text

A Ride Home (Corpse Husband X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Miscellaneous

Requested: Yee on Wattpad (AGAIN me checking my messages wow)

Warnings: none.

Pronouns: You/your

W.C. 1118

Summary: False promises and first meetings

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^White Shirt cover)

It was only supposed to be a small get-together with some of your internet friends. That’s it. That was all you agreed to when Rae first brought it up.

“There will only be like five people there, I swear,” She had said. Lies. “You’ll know everyone there.” More lies. “When have I ever steered you wrong?” Clearly, there was a first for everything, you thought.

You had no idea whose house you were at, and you don’t know how this “small get-together” of five people turned into a full-blown party with nearly 50 people.

You decided to keep to yourself against a wall by the door. You wanted to make sure if Rae left, you would leave with her since she drove you, and you, once again, did not know where you were. Your phone had died long ago or else you would have navigated back to your apartment and walked, regardless of how far. You were nursing a cup of <em>something</em> as you sat on the floor against the wall, casually watching around at the people moving around the room. Anytime you would make eye contact, you immediately snapped your attention down to your drink as your hands shook with nerves.

“So much for relaxing,” you chuckled to yourself as you downed the last of your drink. You sighed as you pushed yourself up and made your way to the kitchen to refill the cup. Just your luck, you walked into the kitchen that happened to be packed. In that group, Rae happened to be standing next to a tall man with curly hair. You wanted to go up to them, to tell Rae you wanted to leave, but you also did not want to interrupt their conversation or have the attention turned to you. You waited until the man started walking away before you grabbed Rae’s arm and pulled her to the side, whisper-shouting, “You said a small get-together, not a full-blown frat party! I want out.”

“I can’t drive you home,” She responded, clearly drunk which made you roll your eyes in annoyance. “But my friend, Corpse is going home! I can have him give you a ride home!”

“I would rather walk than get in some random guy’s car, Rae, but thanks,” You said, giving her a tight-lipped smile as you turned on your heels and walked toward the door.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Rae shouted over the music booming in the living room, causing a few people’s attention to snap towards the two of you.

“Rae, shut up!” You seethed as you pulled her out the front door. “I don’t appreciate the attention and I don’t like the idea of getting into some random dude’s car! That’s how people get killed.”

“Nonsense! Corpse is a close friend of mine,” She explained, “Plus, he’s harmless!”

“That’s what they said about Ted Bundy,” You deadpanned before deciding to sarcastically add, “And with a name like Corpse, I’m sure he wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Well, his name’s not actually Corpse,” Rae added as if it were no big deal, “I don’t actually know his real name. That’s just his gamer tag.”

“Oh great! Even better! You don’t even know the guy’s name!” You replied in disbelief. “You can’t be serious, Rae.”

“My name’s [redacted] if that makes you feel better,” A deep voice from behind you interrupts, causing you to turn around to meet the tall man with curly hair from the kitchen. You were speechless. From far away, he was pretty, but up close, he was stunning. His eyes bore straight into yours and you lost all thoughts.

“Y/n,” you said back, breathlessly, still in awe and slight embarrassment. In your shock, you did not notice Rae get dragged back into the house. The two of you did not really know where to start, so you spent the next few moments in silence. That was until Corpse cleared his throat.

“I hear you needed a ride home. If it’s the same area I’m heading, I could drop you off,” he offered.

“Thank you, but I’m on the outskirts of San Deigo. I’m probably out of your way,” You admitted, dismissing his offer before starting to walk down the driveway.

“Actually, I’m in the outskirts, too,” he stopped you, reaching for your arm but never grabbing it. “What are your cross streets?” You told him what they were and watched as his face turned from interest to shock. Once you two got the cross streets clarified, he led the way to his car and opened the passenger side for you. He pulled out of the neighborhood as you started making small talk. All was well until you mentioned that you lived in an apartment. “No way, are we in the same apartment building?”

“Mine is F213,” you said, skeptically but also interested to know if you two were so close.

“Did you just move in like a month ago? I just got a new neighbor and I’m pretty sure that’s the number,” Corpse laughed as he pulled up to a stop light and looked over to see your eyes wide. “Ha, we’re neighbors and we didn’t even know!”

“First things first, don’t rat me out if you hear things at 3 AM,” you chuckled, pointing a finger at him but he gave you no mind as he continued to drive. “Rae pulls me in for random lobbies, and I might get a little heated sometimes.”

“As long as you don’t rat me out,” He laughed in response. “Sometimes, I’m the one that makes those lobbies and pulls Rae into it.”

You two continued chatting as he drove through the streets of California (almost getting killed by a few stupid drivers), even stopping at In n Out on the way back for dinner. You both found out that Rae told both of you it was going to be small, and you found out that Michael was the one who pulled everyone in. By the time Cropse pulled into the parking complex, you did not want the night to end. You decided to say something after you walked up the stairs and were just about to split off to go to your separate apartments.

“I had fun hanging out with you tonight, Corpse,” You started. “You are funny and you are super easy to talk to. I hope we can do it again sometime.”

“We don’t have to end here,” Corpse started. “I am supposed to play Party Animals with my friends Jack and Felix. We need four people, and our friend Dave back out earlier today. The spot’s yours if you’re up for it?”

“Count me in,” you laughed, moving to unlock your door, ready to play.

~~~~~

#corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband #corpse #corpse fanfic #corpse husband fanfic #corpse x y/n #youtube #bad268 #ship268 #thing268

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shewhopats · 11 months

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Omnics and Gender

I've always imagined that after "The Awakening," lots of bigots insisted on calling omnics "it." I mean, of course they aren't biologically any gender.

So here are some headcannons on how I think some of my favorite omnics came to realize what they identify as.

Zenyatta and Ramattra: I think it's called "gender apathetic"? They don't care what pronouns someone uses for them. He, she, they. As long as it's not used as an insult or in a negative way. Humans tend to assume he/him pronouns for both of them, and they just kinda except that.

B.O.B: my hc is that he was some sort or construction or heavy labor worker. Hence why he's so freaking huge. After gaining sentience, he got a job as a butler. Maybe used his paychecks to get that mustache and abs that really sells him as male. Even though he has a gentle side (often only shown to Ashe), he still loves to fight, shoot, punch, run, and all that stuff. Also, in the Reunion short, Ashe says she's gonna rebuild Bob. I think this confirms that he doesn't mind being modified in such ways.

Orisa and Bastion: I couldn't find a human equivalent for this. Basically when Bastion woke up in that forest, and Orisa was brought to life, the first pronouns they heard assigned to them is what they adopted as their gender. Of course Efi built a GIRL robot. Girls rule, boys drool, after all. And I like to think that Torbjorn's wife, Ingrid, gave Bastion the idea of being male, insisting Torbjorn stop calling him "it."

Echo: pretty simple. In the simplest if terms, She's a copy of a woman that really existed. Therefore, she must also be a woman.

Lynx Seventeen: canon gender neutral. After Awakening, they kept thinking they HAD to pick male or female. But neither felt right. So after much time being indecisive and bouncing between pronouns, they probably saw a ted talk or a seminar talking about it and discovered their prounouns.

Maximillen: chose to present as male for no other reason then he noticed that in the line of work he wanted to do (illegal shit), women weren't always respected. He didn't want to have to deal with the injustice of being an omnic AND a woman. If he ever faces justice, he 100% will be putting on a wig to try to get sent to a female prison.

Luna: always had very feminine tastes. When she first started wearing dresses and designing her "hair," the only attention she got was from bigots telling her she's not a real woman or perverts with an omnic fetish. So she took up singing to express herself. Despite what a lot of people think, an omnic can't just install a new voice and suddenly know how to sing. It took just as much time, dedication, and passion to train her voice as a human would. Now she is the main act, artists and celebrities around the world come to see her, and she is the realest woman in every room.

#overwatch #my hcs #headcanon #zenyatta #lynx seventeen #lynx 17 #ashe overwatch #gender #ramattra #orisa #echo overwatch #maximillen #overwatch hcs #overwatch headcannon #bastion #fanfiction #fan theory #overwatch luna #overwatch fanfiction

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realstupidrealquick · 2 years

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late meetings. - eddie munson x hopper!reader

summary — after a Hellfire Club meeting runs long, the reader becomes a bit upset about waiting for Mike, Lucas, and Dustin. Eddie decides to make it up to the reader by offering them a deal they can't pass up.

(a/n - feminine pronouns are used, reader isn't meant to be blood related but rather just taken in by Hopper similar to El, (Y/N) is also 18 for obvious reasons. this story takes place after S3 but before the events of S4. enjoy!) [wordcount: 2,893 words]

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The Hellfire Club meetings were known to run a bit long, but almost 45 minutes had passed since the time Dustin told (Y/N) to pick him and the gang up from Hawkins High.

Despite having no relation to any member of the club, (Y/N) had taken up a sort of older sibling role to the three freshmen. After Joyce and the Byers crew moved out to Lenora Hills with her little sister, the eldest Hopper child was left to pursue college in Hawkins. Truly it was what she wanted — getting to stay in her hometown to finish out high school sounded a lot better than moving across the country.

But it was times like these, sitting out in the Hawkins High parking lot, waiting on three teenage boys, where she almost wishes she just went with the Byers to good ol’ California.

“Come on Munson, wrap your shit up.” she mumbled to herself, turning up the Genesis that was playing through her car’s speakers. (Y/N) didn’t have quite the same fondness for Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson that the boys seemed to. She really hated that god awful nickname. Eddie wasn’t a freak, he wasn’t all that different from any other person with an interest.

Yet, their interests never seemed to be the same, and therefore the two seniors never really had a conversation besides passing words. On top of their lack of conversation, his meeting was currently well past its ending time, and (Y/N) was getting impatient.

“Fuck it.’’ (Y/N) thought to herself, opening her car door and stepping out. It was almost 8:00pm and (Y/N) wasn’t waiting any longer. It wasn’t worth getting chewed out by the infamous Ted Wheeler about Mike's curfew, or having to apologize to Mrs. Henderson for getting Dustin home this late.

As if on cue, out burst an excited Lucas slinging a backpack over his shoulder. Raucous laughter could be heard coming from Mike and one of the upperclassmen, she was pretty sure his name was Gareth. Their meeting must’ve gone well, considering even Eddie seemed quite happy. The metalhead’s arm was draped over Dustin's shoulder, chuckling at something the 14 year old had said.

“About time, Munson. Meeting was supposed to end at 7.” (Y/N) bluntly stated, leaning up against the beat up car that was once her dad’s.

“My sincerest apologies, (Y/N).” he eccentrically responded. “Me and the gang got a little carried away, and the side quest took longer than expected. Won’t happen again.”

“Same thing you said last time, and the time before. Starting to become a bit of a catchphrase, hm?” (Y/N) quipped. It was a snarky response, and one she wouldn’t normally give, but she was tired of hearing the same excuses over and over again. Mike slammed shut the door to the backseat, snapping (Y/N) out of her and Eddie's small conversation.

“Wheeler! Easy on the door, jesus!” she turned to face the three teens that now occupied her car, slightly ticked off at their recklessness. Mike shrugged in return, as Lucas lightly nudged him in the ribs.

Eddie's voice brought (Y/N) back to the conversation at hand. “I'd love to make it up to you for all of those late meetings. You shouldn’t have to drive all the way out here just to sit for half an hour waiting on our asses.” (Y/N) couldn’t believe what she was hearing; Eddie Munson was agreeing with her for once? Unlikely to say the least.

“And how would you ‘make it up to me’?” (Y/N) played along, interested to hear his offer. “You gotta have something really good, Mu-” she started cracking on him, but the denim-cladded boy in front of her cut the mockery short.

“Let me give you and the boys a ride home.”

Well that wasn’t the response (Y/N) was expecting.

“I'll explain to their parents the reason they’re so late, and I'll pick you up in the morning to come get your car. Least I can do is bear the burden of a lecture from the Sinclairs.” the senior twice repeated offered, leaning on the hood of her car with a smile that almost seemed…genuine?

“The kids are already in my car. Plus, don’t know if I really trust your driving skills, Eddie.” She turned to open the driver side door, but to her surprise he caught her hand with his own. Looking up from his rings, she met his gaze. It wasn’t the first time she’d stolen a glance at his hazelnut brown eyes, but it was her first time being this close to the leader of the Hellfire Club.

“I'm serious. Please, let me make this up to you.” his words fell from his mouth, full of sincerity and tenderness, something (Y/N) didn’t know Eddie had within him. As much as she wanted to turn back to her car and drive off, her body wouldn’t seem to allow her to. Instead, against all of her brain’s best wishes, she met Eddie's eyes once again. “You've got a deal, Munson.”

Eddie excitedly pulled his hand away, as that same grin from before returned to his face. “But– we’re taking my car, and I'm driving.” (Y/N) swung the key around in her hand. “and you still have to talk to their parents.” A lecture was not what she wanted tonight, and Eddie so gladly took it off her hands. But the idea of Eddie Munson being behind a wheel was a hazardous notion, and one that (Y/N) would rather not deal with tonight.

Eddie's grin faltered slightly but nevertheless he happily got into the passenger seat. (Y/N) turned the key and the car sputtered to life as the voice of Phil Collins pumped through her speakers.

“Took you two long enough.” Dustin mumbled, just loud enough to be heard by the two older teens. “Henderson. Watch it.” Eddie replied, voiced laced with a sense of authority.

(Y/N) sent a slight smile in Eddie’s direction, a silent thank you for shutting down Dustin's comment. Lucas let out a chuckle at Dustin's immediate silence, before the three of them began their own conversation about some new movie Mike had seen. With a turn out of the school’s parking lot, (Y/N) mentally prepared for the show that would soon ensue.

The Wheelers were the first of three hellish conversations Eddie had to endure. With a sigh he reluctantly got out of the car with Mike, approaching their front door with a slight sense of nervousness. (Y/N) had rolled the window down to listen and watch the scene that was soon to unfold; Lucas and Dustin leaned toward her and joined in as the two nosy teenagers often did.

Eddie fidgeted with his rings after knocking on their door. He hadn’t meant to knock as hard as he did, but his anxiousness got the best of him. There was no response at first, so Eddie raised his fist to knock again when none other than Mrs. Wheeler opened the door. Her attention was first on Mike, clearly irked by his mother’s worrisome ways. This was going to be interesting.

“Wonder what his excuse is gonna be.” Dustin leaned over into (Y/N)’s seat, pondering his thoughts out loud. “He's lucky it’s not Mike's dad. He'd be chopped liver.” Lucas quipped.

“Speak of the devil...” (Y/N) whispered, as Mr. Wheeler himself appeared behind his wife, clearly upset about Mike's late arrival.

“Oh shit, shush, shut up-” Dustin whispered excitedly, slapping Lucas lightly on the arm. As happy as (Y/N) should’ve been, a sense of guilt filled her stomach. She thought seeing Eddie chewed out instead of herself would fix the shitty mood she was in — but instead she wanted to do nothing more than run up to the Wheeler’s porch and pull him away.

“I couldn't be more sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler. Please don’t let this reflect on the club as a whole, or (Y/N). This was my fault.” Eddie pleaded, being as sincere as his voice would let him.

“Damn straight.” Mr. Wheeler grumbled. Mrs. Wheeler instead smiled at the older boy “Thank you for the apology Eddie. Tell (Y/N) I said thank you for bringing him home, and thank you for your maturity. Have a good night.” She said, ushering Mike further inside and closing the door.

Eddie remained there for another moment, letting out a sigh he didn’t realize he was holding onto. Turning on his heel, he threw his ring cladded hands up, shrugging towards the rest of the car. “Wasn’t so hard, (Y/N)! Ted and Karen Wheeler can be a delight.” he scoffed, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Looked like they really laid into you, man-” Lucas started before Eddie turned around to face the two remaining freshmen. “Yeah, they did Sinclair. But alas, it is my ‘duty’ as a ‘mature adult’ to take the ‘utmost responsibility for my actions’.” Eddie joked along, speaking in an old fashioned voice for the latter part of his sentence.

The smile on his face never faltered, but (Y/N) still felt upset about the whole ordeal. She should’ve stepped in, intervened, at least spoken to the Wheelers. ‘But it’s Eddie.’ her mind persisted. Eddie Munson, the character that never turned off. Without a word she booted up the car again, speeding off in the direction of the Sinclair’s house.

As (Y/N) pulled her car into the Sinclair’s driveway she turned to Eddie, who was already promptly exiting the vehicle. (Y/N) wasn’t letting him go alone, not this time. “Dustin, stay here. make sure no one steals my car, okay?” she blurted out, opening her door and catching up to Eddie and Lucas on the porch.

“(Y/N) I told you, I got this.” Eddie said, surprised that she even left the comfort of her car.

“Just shut up and ring the doorbell.” (Y/N) snarked. She didn’t mean for it to be as harsh as it was, but for some reason here she was standing side by side with Eddie Munson, ready to take the blame for his actions, and she wasn’t too pleased about it. Eddie didn’t want to upset her anymore than he already had, choosing to instead quickly press the doorbell.

The Sinclair’s, unlike the Wheeler’s, weren’t too upset. “Really (Y/N), he’s come home later from basketball games. We’re just glad he’s home safe, rather than out partying like some teens.” Mrs. Sinclair remarked, wrapping an arm around her son lovingly.

“I just wanted to apologize for any worry that I, as the head of the club, might’ve caused.” Eddie spoke up again, stepping slightly in front of (Y/N).

“Well thank you, both of you. Get home safe, people drive like complete maniacs after dark on this road.” Mr. Sinclair said, sending a warm look to (Y/N) and a small nod to Eddie.

With that, the two of them began walking back to (Y/N)’s car, Eddie still confused about her presence beside him. “(Y/N) I told you I would talk to them, you didn’t have to come with-”

“I just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t be home alone. Sometimes they work late, I didn't want him getting into any trouble on a school night.” (Y/N) affirmed, even though that wasn’t necessarily the entire truth. She didn’t want to mention the guilt that had built up inside of her after dropping off Mike; how she didn’t want to see Eddie uncomfortable like that again.

Eddie quickly picked up on the seemingly odd mood (Y/N) was in, choosing to not push the topic. In silence, the two of them entered (Y/N)’s car once again — this time with a very confused Dustin in the backseat.

“Okay what just happened? I thought Eddie was supposed to be doing all the talking as a part of your ‘deal’?” Dustin exclaimed, eyes darting between the two teens in the front seat.

Eddie began to speak immediately — “(Y/N) just wanted to make sure the kid wasn’t gonna be home alone. It’s not a big deal, Dustin.” For the second time that night, Eddie came to (Y/N)’s verbal rescue. (Y/N) looked in her rearview mirror to see a perplexed Dustin, but he seemed like his questions may have been done for the night.

(Y/N) glanced over to the passenger side to see a smiling Eddie. She was used to seeing a smirk plastered on his face, but this one was more calm. Assuring, really. Without any thought, she returned it, smiling just enough to match his own.

“...Why are you two smiling? Is there something I don’t know about? Did Lucas say something about that one round? He did, didn’t he! Don’t tell me he told (Y/N) about my bow-” Dustin began rambling, convinced Lucas shared his failed attempt at attacking a Giant Lizard earlier that night. Eddie tried hard not to laugh, but ultimately failed, letting out a breathy chuckle that (Y/N) couldn’t help but reciprocate.

“Mind if I turn this up?” Eddie asked, gesturing towards the radio with another slight wheeze.

“Yeah, yeah of course. Be my guest.” (Y/N) laughed once more, shifting the car out of neutral and into drive. With the sun now almost fully set, (Y/N) zoomed off in the direction of the Henderson household.

Dropping off Dustin was easy, as (Y/N) had already gained a good reputation with Mrs. Henderson. She would normally be the one to pick up and drop off Dustin after any event, even giving him a ride home when it was raining and all the boy had was his bike. And rides for Dustin were looking scarce; Steve was busier than ever with dates and work, and Eddie always seemed a bit too intimidating; (Y/N) easily became a surrogate older sibling for the boy — and one that his mother particularly enjoyed the presence of.

With some small goodbyes, Eddie and (Y/N) returned to her car once more. The metalhead was quick to throw himself into the car, rubbing his hands together in a particularly animated way. (Y/N) promptly buckled, before looking over at her classmate.

“Forest Hills, right?” (Y/N) verified, not wanting to drive off in the wrong direction and seem stupid. “Uh yeah…Forest Hills.” Eddie shuffled in his seat, a change from his demeanor only moments prior.

“Do you know a Max Mayfield? Lives over there with her mom, bright red hair, skates a ton?” (Y/N) pondered, trying to lighten the mood up. “If not, that's cool. Small world and everything I figured it was worth a shot.”

“No, no I think I know her. There’s a girl with red hair that lives in the home right across from mine. She always has headphones on and shit?” Eddie asked in response, hoping they were talking about the same kid and he didn’t sound stupid right now.

“Yeah! That’s the one! Great kid really, hasn’t talked much this year since. Y’know…” She trailed off, not wanting to discuss the events of last summer. Even though Eddie didn’t know the worst of it, he still understood what (Y/N) was getting at. After her statement the car went silent besides the soft sounds of The Smiths rolling through the speakers.

Soon enough, they rolled into the trailer park, pebbles grinding under the tires of (Y/N)’s car. Eddie quickly unbuckled his seatbelt, opening the car door faster than (Y/N) could get a word out. “Thanks for the ride (Y/N), I owe you one.” He lightly closed her car door, remembering Mike’s recklessness with it earlier that night. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he began walking towards his front door.

‘Say something (Y/N).’ Her mind raced. ‘Come on do something before he goes inside!’

“Eddie!” (Y/N) called out, she had stepped out of her car and began walking towards him. Eddie was more confused than ever, he must’ve accidentally left something in (Y/N)’s car, right?

“I wanted to…thank you. For offering to come along tonight, and taking the blame for me. You’re a really nice guy, Eddie.” (Y/N) stammered, not quite sure if her words would come out right. “It’s really nothing, it was my fault anyways. Thanks for coming with me to those last two, they seemed to like seeing your pretty face more than this mug anyways.” Eddie shrugged, smiling at his own attempt at a compliment.

(Y/N) was caught entirely off guard. Here she was trying to thank Eddie for his kind actions, and he managed to spin it back on the flustered teen. She looked down at her beat up shoes with a soft smile tugging at her lips, glad she had decided to take Eddie up on his offer.

“Hey uh, if you ever need a ride or anything, I’m always available. I’m sure it gets tiring being a taxi for 14 year olds. Just let me know, gas is always on the house for you.” he began walking back towards his home, shooting (Y/N) his signature grin once more.

She wanted to say something, but a nod and smile was all she could muster before the long-haired boy closed the door behind himself. Maybe she would take him up on that offer — it would be nice to not pay for gas every once and a while. Plus, after tonight the head of Hellfire didn’t seem like such bad company. Stepping into her car, she let out a long sigh.

“Goodnight, Eddie Munson.”

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#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fic #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things fic #this was proofread at 2AM so if it sucks thats why <3

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auryborealis · 2 years

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....I really don't know how to draw Ted Raimi ;-;

Behold, another product of my simpness. This time an OC for The Quarry. Her name is Evan, and she's actually the younger sister of my RE8 OC, Faye. She's a private investigator who is struggling to cope with the recent passing of her mother and the disappearance of her sister, who went missing in 2014. She takes on a missing person case which leads her to Northkill, where she quickly finds out about a coverup, causing a feud between her and local sheriff Travis Hackett. Simply put: he locks her up, she kicks his ass and escapes, he saves her from a werewolf encounter, she nurses him back to health, insert steady build of trust and understanding which then develops into affection (and a carnal need to release their frustration and stress together).

Nicknames: Evans, Evie (used by Faye)

Pronouns: She/Her/They/Their

Birthday: July 8, 1991

Height: 5'4"

Voice Claim: Allegra Clarke (Shamir from Fire Emblem: Three Houses) but also sounding like Tara Strong's Raven from Teen Titans

Character inspirations include: Madeleine Nguyen (Gourmet Hound), Melinda May (Agents of SHIELD), Nathalie (Uriah), Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan), Kang Sae-byeok (Squid Game), Elektra Ovirowa (Cowboy Bebop), Helena Harper (Resident Evil 6), Aya Brea (Parasite Eve), and Juli Kidman (The Evil Within)

My exact thought process when coming up with her name: "Lol Ebony. Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Ok no, let's just shorten that to Evan... Evan Lee, Ebony lolololol." (I did not know that the actor who plays Nick is named Evan during this time)

I forgot to add to that interrogation comic that she also carries a combat knife.

She wears a silver sun necklace while Faye wears a golden moon necklace. They each serve as a symbol of the other. Her necklace did serve as a protection against the werewolves but during a certain encounter, she loses her necklace, resulting in her getting bitten. She later recovers and gives the necklace to Travis for safekeeping (and for his protection).

The scars on her face aren't a result of an attack but a childhood injury. Her werewolf form can be identified by these scars and they still somehow remain when she returns to human form.

She had an unspecified illness which would sometimes flare up, to the point where she would need to be put to bedrest or even hospitalized. Faye had disappeared while taking on a job that would pay off her medical bills, hence why Evan blames herself for her going missing. After getting bitten, she was cured from the illness. She would not reunite with Faye until 2022.

She scares Bobby, with or without her werewolf form.

Among the counselors, she’d probably get along with Ryan the most.

What would be the shipname for this resting bitch face couple? Traven?? (Evis sounds like Elvis and Hacklee sounds like a coughing fit)

She and Travis probably won't have kids. But they would definitely spoil their nephew and nibling, Damien and Adrian Heisenberg.

[THE QUARRY SPOILERS]

I imagine certain events of The Quarry going differently if Evan was involved, particularly the Laura and Max scenes. For one, she’d make up for Travis’ lack of social skills and not keep them locked up for two whole freaking months, even fiercely arguing with Travis about it. During the final couple chapters, after Ryan shoots Chris which therefore cures Laura and Max, I imagine Evan taking on Laura’s role. She lets her go off to reunite with Max (because I don’t like the conditions for this to happen in-game ;_;)

#the quarry #the quarry oc #travis hackett #travis hackett x oc #oc x canon #oc: evan #oc: faye #art tag

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shrieks · 1 year

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hey look, it’s theodore ‘ted’ specter! he’s thirty years old, he’s lived in shrike heights for two months, and he’s currently working at the black cat. i heard he’s pretty repressed, but i think he’s so gentle at the same time. can he make it out alive?

content warnings include mental health issues, self-harm, suicide / suicide attempt and abuse.

basics

name: theodore ever specter nicknames: ted, teddy, theo. age: 30 birthday: december 16 zodiac: sagittarius zodiac traits: no indoor voice, forms opinions off of pure emotion, obsessed with self-improvement, wields their truth like a blunt weapon, friendliest person at the party gender: male pronouns: he/him sexuality: bisexual height: 6’ scars: multiple large scars up wrists - always keeps them covered piercings / tattoos: none

family

his mother was young and unwed when she fell pregnant with him, and she married his father at eight months pregnant, just in time.

by the time ted was born, their relationship was in shambles.

his father wasn’t a good person. he was much older than ted’s mother, their dynamic was unhealthy and he mistreated her.

his mother left his father when he was still only a baby, and ted has never questioned the decision or felt the need to seek out the man that makes up half of his genes.

when he was seven years old, his mother met a much nicer man, they fell in love, got married, and then at eight, ted became a big brother.

his little sister is his favorite person in the world. at times she’s been the only person who ted truly cares about, and the only one who he believes cares for him.

he’s always existed peacefully with his step father, though he can’t say they’re close or have an especially good relationship.

his mother was his best friend once, when it was just the two of them, but in his upbringing ted realised she prioritised her own happiness over everything else and he lost respect for her.

his sister is the only family member he’s in contact with, though his mom calls him from time to time.

upbringing

ted was a happy child, not understanding that his situation was unfortunate and blindly believing all his mother did for him in an attempt to act as though they lived a good life.

their days were filled with love and laughter, and even the most hideous struggles they were made to face were disguised as incredible adventures for the sake of ted. his mother was a dedicated mother and actor.

he truly loved his life despite his circumstances, until things changed. when ted was seven, his mother remarried, and very quickly ted became second to his mother’s own wants, needs, and happiness.

his sister was born when he was eight, and he became even less of a priority. despite his family having grown so much in size, and despite them being in a better and safer financial situation, ted felt lonelier and more upset than ever.

he was a lonely and depressed child. his condition only improved when his sister grew old enough to be a proper companion and friend to him.

ted was always the best brother, and together, the two children had a lot of fun. their parents selfishly cared more for themselves and their relationship, but the siblings didn’t mind when they had each other for company and support.

his life returned to being good for some years, or so he thought. the truth was that his happiness - even what he experienced as a young child - was always a facade. an act put on first by his mother and then later by his own defence and coping mechanisms.

the happiness began to dull, his sister began to grow up and live her own life, and ted fell back into his terribly depressed and lonely state.

this time was the beginning of ted’s endless amounts of attempts to better himself and his life, but unfortunately every single thing he did ended in a failure grander than the last.

his life became more miserable with each month that passed, and each next year was unbearable. he failed with family, with education, with work, relationships, interests and everything in between.

constant failure and lack of support wore on ted as a person. reaching thirty and having never experienced anything real or worthwhile was his breaking point. so many years of heartbreak and gloom was too much.

he attempted to take his life, but was unsuccessful in doing so. what he thought was a way out ended up being a way into an even worse situation.

upon failing, he wanted to hide it from his family, but he couldn’t.

he was so ashamed of his sister finding out that he had almost left her behind, alone, like he always had been.

despite the two siblings having grown apart, his sister showed up and she took him back to live with her in shrike heights; she was devastated to find out how he felt, and what he had done, but she vowed that together, they would get his life back on track.

ted doesn’t think that the setting of shrike heights is a good one for him, but he’s found that his sister is the support and motivation that he needs right now. he’s trying so hard for her, harder than he might have ever tried before.

education

ted could have done extremely well in school if he ever cared to apply himself.

in the beginning he tried to make friends and connections that would better his life, but after becoming a victim of teasing and bullying almost immediately, he was too beaten down to try again.

in an attempt to better his situation, a few times he tried to join different clubs and societies, only to have bad experiences in each and leave them before he ever got the chance to get anything good from them.

he’s never been athletic, and was teased enough in gym class to never brave any sport teams.

overall, school was a horrific experience, and the older he got, the more the bullying got worse, the less effort he put into any of his work.

he ended up dropping out before he even reached his senior year.

he’s considering shrike university, but while he has the drive to try for something now, if not for himself then for his sister, he just doesn’t know what he’d like to do, and he doesn’t want to begin anything that he will go on to fail.

work

ted has had a string of retail jobs since he was a teenager.

he’s never been the best employee; he has potential to do brilliant work, but not in the roles he obtains.

customer service is a nightmare for him, yet the only kind of job he feels qualified to work after not completing high school.

he has a bad habit of quitting jobs when it’s not actually necessary; he’s afraid of how bad failure makes him feel so he can get extremely flighty.

he’s trying harder than he ever has before to succeed with work in shrike.

he applied to the black cat as he felt it would likely be the safest space for him, with unique people working alongside him, saving him from potential bad treatment from those uncomfortable with him being unlike themselves.

he wishes he could be going on to work elsewhere, a job that isn’t just retail, but he doesn’t know what he’d be interested in doing specifically and he doesn’t believe he’s qualified to move out of the mall yet.

as much as he has a history of being flaky and a bad employee, it’s always been his circumstances, he doesn’t actually have an inability to be a good employee.

relationships

ted has never been in a real relationship before.

romance and sex don’t come to him naturally, as much as he’s constantly craving that kind of companionship.

he had his first kiss in his mid twenties, which is a fact he tries to hide out of embarrassment (although there’s nothing wrong with it).

all of his little experience took place when he was in his mid twenties, and his failure in this department makes him struggle to try for more.

because of how beaten down he feels, he’s completely submissive. he needs the other person to initiate everything, though he’s able to reciprocate when it’s being controlled by the other.

he has the potential to be an extremely sweet and loving partner. he’s good to others, and would be especially good to a partner.

his biggest issue with trying to find a partner is how terribly he thinks of himself.

interests

overall, ted is trying his hardest to figure out what his true interests are right now.

anything that sparks joy inside of him he would consider an interest, and he tries to hold on to them for as long as possible to try to feel more joy.

his interests come and go quickly for the most part. he’s always trying new things desperately hoping to find something that helps him make sense of his life and his time.

he likes a lot of general things such as music, films, television and books. he’s not passionate about any of them per se, but finds himself glad when they come up in conversation as at least he knows a bit about what they’re talking about.

watching television is what he does most, compared to reading or listening to music, etc. he enjoys keeping up to date with the latest shows and he always catches the latest films.

he’s not athletic, though he enjoys being outside in nature. when he’s in a bad state of mind he tends to stay in, shut off from the world, so being out makes him feel good.

he’s very mildly interested in a lot of things; travel, science, technology, video games, pop culture. once again, though, he’s on a journey to figure out his proper interests and passions.

frequent locations

the black cat. he doesn’t love working but it keeps him in a routine, and keeps his sister from worrying about him, so he works often.

his sister’s home downtown. he tries to not stay home too often as he associates that with bad mental health, but he still hangs out with his sister at home plenty.

the mall. particularly places like the food court and julio’s, places where he can sit and watch and just be in the town.

the library. he likes to sit and watch here, too, but his favorite part about the library is all of the resources on so many different things. it’s a great way to try to figure out new interests and passions.

all of the parks in town. it doesn’t matter which one, or where, ted enjoys hanging around these spots in town. out of everywhere in town, he’ll keep going back to the parks on his walks or his days off.

in general, ted is the kind of person who is always randomly popping up new places all around town. he’s still quite aimless and lost, but in doing everything that he can to find purpose and joy, he’s really adventuring and getting out there in shrike.

personality

ted is a sweetheart who’s very clearly always just trying his best. he’s kind-hearted and gentle spirited.

he’s been through a lot, and shows signs of previous trouble, mostly in his awkward mannerisms.

despite how awkward he can be, ted always means well, and that shines through in his personality and his mannerisms.

he’s charming, in an aloof sort of manner. he’s not very well put together, but he’s trying his hardest in a very endearing manner.

he’s friendly, he tries to be and wants to be, but it’s also clear in his interactions that he doesn’t have the most experience with having friends.

he has a habit of mimicking the people he admires, and that’s most often characters in television and films. he doesn’t do this in a disingenuous manner, only in an attempt of getting ahead and bettering himself.

ted tries to be hopeful, but he still has plenty of bad days. he can be reserved, quiet, sluggish and standoffish on those bad days.

thankfully he’s doing better, especially with the more he tries for improvement, but he’s only human, and with such an intense history of mental health issues, he definitely has hard times.

when he’s doing well, he can be social, witty, and funny. he often has to take a small step over awkwardness to get into the flow of that, but the more he’s comfortable with someone, the easier it gets.

his first impression is often different from how he is when someone gets to know him.

he does tend to improve socially the more someone knows him, but then he has periods where he completely disappears and isolates himself if he’s not doing well.

he wants to be more dependable and supportive so that he can be a better friend, but he does struggle with trying to manage himself.

ted is extremely insecure, but he feels better about himself the more he tries to better himself and his life.

he’s a work in progress, but he means well!

#suicide cw #self harm cw #mental health issues cw #abuse cw #ted → intro #shrikeintro

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highlifeboat · 1 year

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Since you mentioned Raven, Dad, what's your general thoughts/headcanons on her?

Alright so, it's been a while since I watched Teen Titans or any of the movies (I do wanna watch them again. At least the show. That was my shit as a kid) BUT, if it isn't obvious, I fucking love Raven. She's just so cool, and I loved her aesthetic, and her powers are fucking AWESOME. (Plus Tara Strong? Absolute queen of Voice Acting she's the only Raven as far as I care [Taissa Farmiga is really good in Judas Contract and the other movies tho. Credit where Credit's due lol])

This is just as side note, too, but the TTG/2006 TT crossover movie? A goddamn mess. I never needed to Raven vore herself.

Okay, so, general headcanons:

This is just a small thing, but she's defiantly got pointy ears and fangs. I mean, girl is half demon. She deserves more visible demon-esqu features besides grey skin and purple eyes.

She likes men and women, but refuses to label herself as Bi or Pan because she just... doesn't want to.

On the Ace spectrum, but, again, refuses to label herself as such.

Doesn't care about pronouns. Like she isn't genderfluid or anything like that but she can vibe with any pronouns.

Autism™

The biggest Parental Issues known to man (pretty sure that's just canon anyway)

She was raised by monks so I have a feeling she never had a strong relationship with her mom.

Like, they loved each other but it never felt like a real paternal relationship.

She knows and understand the circumstances in which she was conceived. And there's always been this sense of self loathing that comes with it.

She also refuses to acknowledge Trigon as her father anymore.

Touch aversion. She hates being touched by 90% of people.

She's still incredibly guilty about, y'know, ending the whole world.

The order of her friends, from most to least favourite; Cyborg, Starfire, Robin, Beast Boy.

As far as she's concerned, her friends are her family. They are her brothers and sister. She loves them dearly.

She still likes to help Cyborg work on the T-Car and any of his other mechanical projects.

Social Anxiety

This girl does not drink water. Like... ever. Only tea. Her friends have to force her to drink water.

She's also just... inherently carnivorous. She eats way more meats than veg.

She actually misses Terra quite a bit. But there's always that lingering feeling of betrayal when Raven thinks about her. So she tries not to.

Fat crush on Rose Wilson, I do not take criticism. She refuses to acknowledge it, though, because that's Slade's daughter (Yes I am merging TTG lore into this. Rose should have been in the 2006 show idc.)

Speaking of Slade, she has many nightmares about that man.

Her and Starfire having "Girl's nights" and just hanging out together.

And... I think that's all I have. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#i dunno is this too much #i have thoughts #now i wann draw her #raven roth #she so powerful and cool and pretty and amazing and goddamn i wanted to be her #asks #anons #teen titans posting

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bcatrixs · 11 months

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chase sui wonders. she/they. gender fluid. › spotted at the met steps , BEATRIX “TRIX” WANG , most likely listening to zoom by jessi with their airpods pro . the twenty-seven year old gained quite a reputation , known to be -facetious yet +captivating to anyone who knows them . you'll easily spot them when you hear about the light glow emitting from a computer screen , going on daily boba runs to the point where it's become a regular part of your routine , a growing collection of oversized sweaters and jackets , followed by their flora gorgeous jasmine by gucci . latest nepoupdates article talks about going too far ? journalist and podcaster trix wang arrested for trespassing , but i guess any reputation is good reputation . ( muse 2l & subplot 19 )

[ ! ] WANTED CONNECTIONS.

[ ! ] ESTABLISHED CONNECTIONS.

penned by HECATE ( she/her , pst , 21+ )

OVERVIEW .

STATS PAGE .

FULL NAME: beatrix jade wang

NICKNAME(S) / ALIASES: trix , trixie ( only by family and close friends )

DOB: 02/10/1996

AGE: 27

HEIGHT: 5′5″

ZODIAC: aquarius

GENDER: genderfluid

PRONOUNS: she/her/hers , they/them/theirs

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: biromantic

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual

LANGUAGES: english , cantonese , mandarin , spanish

AESTHETICS: the light glow emitting from a computer screen , going on daily boba runs to the point where it's become a regular part of your routine , a growing collection of oversized sweaters and jackets , stopping at nothing to break a newsworthy story , using a voice recorder to note every thought down

CHARACTER PARALLELS: jubilation lee ( marvel comics ) , mabel mora ( only murders in the building ) , nate archibald ( gossip girl ) , isaac mcadoo ( ted lasso ) , stephanie brown ( dc comics )

BACKGROUND .

beatrix is born the second eldest out of four to a chinese-american father and english mother in san francisco , california and relocates to new york city before she turns one . her mother hails from a legacy of entrepreneurs , making their money in energy and oil . her father made his money during the height of the silicon valley tech boom , heavy expectations were placed upon all the wang children since birth . it’s safe to say trix was destined for great things since birth .

at the age 5 , beatrix finds her calling wushu . what started as an extracurricular activity both parents put her in has evolved to so much more when her wushu master noticed her skill and potential . that becomes the focus of her life . and yeah , she got good at it . this was just a part of the routine now . and to her parents ? one hell of a resume padder . they had never really questioned it . at 16 , trix starts contemplating this cookie-cutter life their parents have laid out for them . attending the top private school in the nation . etiquette classes . language classes . the expectation to attend yale just as their parents had . it worked for her older sister so clearly this is the model all the wang children should follow .

they start to act out a little bit . purposely starting arguments with their parents . ditching school from time to time . and by the time college acceptances rolled out , trix had other plans . they announce they’d be going to school in d.c. . they find their calling in journalism . quickly latching onto the idea of reporting on crime specifically . when it comes to trix’s tenacity , they can’t be stopped . they land an internship at the washington post , working hard to prove their worth . and by the time they graduated , trix has an offers to different media publications but ultimately chooses to write for the new york times . what can they say ? they’re a little homesick .

at 25 , trix breaks the biggest story of her career . it lands the new york times as a finalist in the pulitzer’s breaking news reporting category . she doesn’t expect to win of course , but to be a finalist ? that’s huge . and to her surprise , the pulitzer for breaking news reporting goes to her . this is it . she thinks she’s peaked . she needs to change it up a bit . and so she does . in the form of starting her own true crime podcast . she’s not sure if it’ll take off but turns out , people do want to listen to a journalist talk through their thought process and the connections they’ve made while reporting on true crime then branching into all things supernatural . it’s a small success . one that leads to the creation of a podcast dedicated to the apartment building they live in .

PERSONALITY .

at first glance , they’re the life of the party . and it’s easily how people see them . it’s the personality they present when on their podcast . often seen engaging and entertaining others through humor , enthusiasm and a sprinkle of sarcasm . there’s no debate as to how easily they’ll feel at home in any environment . they’ve evolved into someone who wants to live in the moment and enjoy life . aside from having excellent people skills , they’re practical and observant . and she’s not without her faults . she can be a little conflict adverse . a little facetious in dealing with things they’re uncomfortable with . their demeanor as a journalist differs immensely from how others often see them . she’s quick-witted . a little lackadaisical . stoic . unafraid to ask the tough questions and stand her ground .

HEADCANONS .

this section is a wip and will be updated when i think of more things ! <3

career claim / inspo: unsolved ( both true crime and supernatural ! )

goes by beatrix professionally but outside of that will only introduce themselves as trix

currently works as an investigative journalist with a focus on true crime at the new york times

competed at the world wushu championships and secured a spot in the US wushu team by the time she was 10 years old

since the podcast with muse 2m and muse 2n have taken off , trix’s initial podcast became more of a side thing

can always be seen with a dictaphone on them . you never know when you’ll need to chase down a source !

graduated with a degree in journalism from georgetown university and recently obtained their masters from columbia

the one friend you constantly have to remind to get out of the apartment once in a while when they get too absorbed with work

has only recently started getting used to the media attention they receive . although , they do wish the media would also highlight their career as an investigative journalist a little more

#🌸 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 . ›› beatrix wang .#nepofm.intro #this is long but it's done and i am posting from work FDSJKL

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magikborn · 23 days

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welcome to london, QUENTIN XAVIER did anyone ever tell you that you look just like JASON RALPH? well, no matter, we hear that you are 28 and working as a/an STUDENT. we also hear that you currently DON’T HAVE your memories from MARVEL/X-MEN and have a tendency to be PASSIONATE as well as STUBBORN.

name: quentin thomas xavier

nicknames: q, nerd

birthday: july 23rd

age: 28

occupation: student at the local college

sexual orientation: pansexual & demi - sexual (male lean)

pronouns: he / him / they / them

abilities: telepathy, telekinesis, magic

Quentin was born to Teria Johnson and Dr. Brian Xavier in Montclair, New Jersey. Making him the half-brother of Charles Xavier. When Quentin was born, his father brought his mother to court for custody. He cited alcoholism and drug addiction for his reasons. At the young age of five, he was taken back by his mother due his father passing and Sharron not caring about Xavier's half brother. Because of this, the brother's relationship was nonexistent.

School was his get away from his mother's constant drinking. It didn't get better as time when on and he often was made to do runs to the liquor store by the age of eleven with the use of the car. It was this faithful night when she sent him out, did he run off the road and drop into the ocean. His mutation then activated and the only reason he survived was him mentally causing the window to crack. Emerging from the waters, he could hear most of the towns voices in his head and screamed into the night.

When he turned sixteen, Q worked at the local library so to save up to leave home. This was when his mother got married to Ted. Who was also an alcoholic and emotionally abusive to him. His stepfather called him broken and he entered his first mental hospital shortly after. In high school, he was known as a nerd. Particularly for him doing card tricks or anything dealing with magic. He didn't know his obsession was real at the time and it would lead him to the Mystics later on.

Finishing high school at the top of his class, he did succeed at leaving home after a friend allowed him to crash on their couch for a few months. He was accepted to go into Columbia University for creative writing and then going Harvard for English language and literature for his master's because he found he had a knack for writing, but didn't finish until ten years later because he found out about the Masters of the Mystic Arts and left for Kamar-Taj, Kathmandu. There the Ancient One told him of his ability to use magic. Through her, he trained silently to be able to control his magic and learn the Old Language, so he could use the magic that flowed through him naturally. Naturally, he forgot about his prior life and of Charles after he drank tap water for a long period of time.

#wal: intro #⤷ quentin xavier. // info #tw: drowning #tw: mental health #tw: death #tw: childhood abuse #tw: alcholism #; bio

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stardusted-petals · 11 months

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About (for mobile users, or just the lazy)

Hi yes, welcome to my blog! Have a mocha, and read a little about me under the cut:

General

I moved to this account from @decayanddesign. If you came from there, hello!

I’m a cis woman (she/her pronouns, though I won’t care enough to correct you if you get them wrong), who is on the aromantic and asexual spectrums.

I’m also neurodivergent (most notably autistic) and mentally ill. I try not to vent about the latter and the causes of it too much, but may end up doing so.

I’m a university student whose hobbies include making art, taking photos, writing, going to the theatre, and sucking ass at video games. I also make the occasional unfunny, low-effort meme.

Bigots (including T*RFs, aro/ace excl*sionists and ableists), people who romanticise adult/minor ships, inc*st or S/A, and anyone who uses A/I art, writing or voices of any kind aren’t welcome here. I have zero tolerance towards people breaking my boundaries, so I won't hesitate to block you if I even suspect that you fall under these.

Interests

My favourite video game series are Animal Crossing, Pokémon, Sonic the Hedgehog, Portal, and Undertale/Deltarune.

My favourite cartoons are Invader Zim, Gravity Falls, The Owl House, and Amphibia.

My favourite live-action series are Doctor Who, Red Dwarf and Ted Lasso - the former two were a big part of my childhood as special interests, and I still have a soft spot for them.

I like any kind of music, but my favourite genres are various types of rock, lo-fi hip hop, synthwave and smooth jazz. My favourite band is My Chemical Romance!

I don't have a huge preference wrt theatre (I enjoy it more casually - it's primarily my dad's interest, and how we spend some time together), but I do enjoy Shakespeare plays, as well as the odd musical.

Miscellaneous things I like include abandoned places/urbex, Norse and Greek mythology, video game glitches, bootleg games/other media, lost media, flower symbolism, and nature in general.

As you may have noticed from the above, my favourite drink is mocha - AKA the only coffee I've found that I enjoy (so far). My dentist hates me for it, probably

Finished your drink? Excellent - now you can scroll through my blog to your heart's content!

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eureka-roleplay · 1 year

Photo

I love a good place to hide in plain sight.

TABITHA SMALLS

Age: 34 Gender and pronouns: Female, She/Her Occupation: Private Investigator Neighbourhood: Old Town

BIOGRAPHY

tw: death, mentions bullying, illness

The oldest child of Ted and Margaret Smalls was born on February 29th in Fort Benning, amidst an unusually strong thunderstorm. The memorable part of the delivery, according to everyone there, was how calmly Tabitha entered the world, as the storm raged on outside the hospital room. How strange it was, they all said, that the thunder seemed to be soothing to her. Granted an old Tabitha name, in those first few hours Tabitha reflected the meaning of her name – graceful. The illusion of such grace was quickly shattered when the newborn started screaming for attention. It wouldn’t be the last time she surprised her family. The contrarian nature she displayed in that hospital room would prove to be a cornerstone of Tabitha’s character. More than once, usually with a note of exasperation in their voices, Tabitha’s parents would remark that she let them know who she was right away.

Despite looking much like a porcelain doll, Tabitha was never the type for tea parties or dresses, instead preferring to jump in the mud and scrape her elbows while climbing trees, chasing after her brother Grant. They’d run after rabbits or make daisy chains, coming in for lunch with grass stains on their jeans. When her younger brother Ryan was born, medically fragile and requiring all number of doctor’s appointments, Ted and Margaret worried that their children would grow jealous; instead, Tabitha doted upon her brother with a devotion they had never expected, and acted as his protector as they moved from city to city and faced bullies who saw Ryan as an easy target.

Since their father’s military career often required uprooting the family and moving to an entirely new place every so often, it was hard to make and keep friends other than her brothers; and after an unexpected fall out of a tree led to Grant developing a concussion, tragedy struck when he passed away. A hard sense of loss hit the entire Smalls family when they had to bury the firstborn son and then leave the very city in which he was laid to rest. After a while of moving around, feeling Grant’s loss and overcompensating with Ryan, opening herself up to new friendships only to have to leave them behind in a matter of months, Tabitha all but gave up entirely. She spent her time in school observing the people around her with a detached curiosity, picking up on the subtle interactions of her peers, noticing the way people flirted shyly, or rolled their eyes and muttered under their breath, or fidgeted nervously. She developed a sharp wit and sharper tongue and despite being petite in stature, Tabitha’s presence could be intimidating to even much larger people. And help anyone who dared to cross Ryan – Tabitha was ready to step in and fight at a moment’s notice, more than once physically fighting people twice her size. Like hell would she let anyone hurt her remaining sibling.

Becoming a private investigator hadn’t been her plan. Then again, Tabitha hadn’t had much of a plan at all. She took things month by month, year by year, never looking much further than her father’s next assignment. When her father retired from the military and the family put down roots in the greater Eureka area, Tabitha was forced to confront the fact that she now had a community to join and a future to plan for. After months of floating aimlessly, half-heartedly applying to different jobs in the city, Tabitha took a part-time job as a bartender, balancing serving drinks with keeping the chaos to a minimum, unflappable in the face of most angry drunks. She moved through her days, balancing working her ‘just for now’ job with several ‘just for now’ boyfriends, each one more lackluster than the other. Tabitha reserved most of her energy for her family at home, Ryan particularly – until he left for school to be on his own and Tabitha realized that he was going to create a whole life that she was just a small part of. Where would she go from there? What was she supposed to do now?

A customer at the bar of all places had recommended she look into investigative work, noting that her keen observant nature and complete inability to tolerate nonsense were marketable skills. A preliminary google search piqued her interest, and the next thing she knew Tabitha was enrolled in an associate’s program at the community college, with clear goals in mind and, for once, a five year plan in sight.

Getting a license to practice as a private investigator was easier than expected, and what started as small jobs to assist with ancestry records and trapping cheating spouses grew to a variety of tasks, running background checks on shady in-laws to investigating potential ponzi schemes and researching whether new businesses looking for funding were legitimate. Her job suits Tabitha, and keeps her busy, but due to the nature of her work and the irregular hours, ironically also keeps her from still building relationships with the people around her. It wasn’t until earlier this year that Tabitha realized she craved human connection, and was able to find it in her friendship with Annie Lim among a few others. In her small apartment with her bunny, Stevie Nicks, Tabitha has been able to make a home for herself, and continues to develop as a human while keeping herself from getting into fights – most of the time.

TABITHA SMALLS has the face claim of CLARE BOWEN and is played by JAC.

#t #tf #clare bowen #old town

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softspaceboibrian · 11 months

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Fell in Love with the Fire Long Ago || Jamie Tartt

Chapters: 1 - more to come

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Y/N - Social Media Manager for AFC Richmond || I used she/her pronouns, but there is no actual physical description, so the pronouns can be switched with whatever anyone wants or prefers!

Summary: When Y/N received that email, she couldn't believe it. He was coming back.

Warnings: maybe some swear words. hints and mentions of sexual acts (still SFW). S1 Jamie Tartt aka a dick. a little angsty. Sam being is lovable self.

Characters: Jamie Tartt, Sam Obisanya, Isaac McAdoo, Colin Hughes, Dani Rojas, Ted Lasso, Rebecca Welton. Some others may appear as mentions.

Wc: 3800 (this works as a pilot or a prologue, to set up the story)

A/N: this story is based on this idea I had and that a few people seemed to like. hopefully you enjoy this first chapter/prologue. and if you want to read more, feel free to leave a comment. If enough people like it, I was thinking to do a taglist, so that people can stay updated. anyways, thanks for reading <;3

When you first heard the news, you couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe that they could do such a thing. Not to the team, not to you. That was the reason you were stomping up the stair, the clinking of your heels echoing against the walls, as you reached Rebecca’s office.

You didn’t knock, you didn’t wait for them to welcome you in. They knew you were coming. Especially after the email they had sent out. The email had been sent only to the “necessary” people that needed to be involved, and you, being the social media manager for the club, received it. It was probably a way for them to warn you to start preparing the content for the announcement. But you obviously didn’t take it well. They knew about your history, they knew how things had gone down. They had to be expecting you.

“How could you?” Your loud, clear voice, full of anger and disappointment filled the room.

“Good morning, Y/N!” Ted’s cheerful greeting made you want to scream. “To what do we owe the pleasure?” The sarcasm was obvious.

“How could you? After what he did to the team? After what he said about you?” Your tone was loud, so much so that you were sure people from downstairs could clearly hear every single one of your words. “How could you?” You choked on your last words, and as you finally met Rebecca’s gaze, you could feel the familiar sting of the tears that threatened to fall, spill, pour.

The woman sighed, getting up from her chair to make her way around the big desk. “Listen, love, he’s a great player. When Ted told me about their talk, I knew we had to get him back.” She explained, walking over to her. “We cannot let our feelings get in the way of the team’s success.”

You shook your head, taking a step back. “I never thought you would become this cynical.”

“I’m not cynical, just rational.”

“It’s all the same thing. He’s a prick. And pricks don’t change.” You were furious. “And it’s not just my feelings, but the team’s feelings. But you obviously don’t remember how he used to treat everyone.” You lingered on that last word, looking briefly at each of them, before turning around and making your way out of the office and down the stairs. “No one understands.” You whisper, your fists so tight you started to feel that burning sensation of your nails leaving marks on your palms.

Keeping your head low, trying to hide the tears streaming down your face, you made your way to the changing room. You knew you couldn’t say anything to any of the boys yet, but still, you needed some comfort. You needed Sam.

You quickly reached the locker room and knocked, waiting for them to give you a sign to let you know you could come in. And, as soon as you opened the door, you ran straight to Sam, immediately burying your face in his chest.

“Hey, Y/N/N. What is going on?” His thick Nigerian accent immediately bringing comfort to you. “Did something happen?” He asked as he tried to pull away slightly, trying to understand what was happening.

“Just… hug me… please.” You pled, the voice muffled by his jersey. And he did. He wrapped his arms around you, softly placing a kiss on top of your head, before laying his chin in the same spot. You’re immediately comforted by the warmth of your best friend’s embrace. However, you didn’t fail to notice how the familiar chatter of the changing room had started to slowly simmer down until it ultimately came to a halt. A sense of pain and anxiety washed over you at once, and your head started again to fill with the same questions you had asked Rebecca and Ted. Why? Why him? Why now? How could they?

But soon, your stream of thoughts was interrupted by Isaac’s voice. “Who do we have to kill?” You didn’t need to raise your head from Sam’s chest to know that the feeling was shared by most if not all the team’s players.

“No one. Yet.” You mumbled, sniffling. “It’s complicated.” You added as you finally pulled away from Sam, yet still remaining extremely close to him, as if his presence was the only thing keeping you sane and calm at that moment.

“When the moment comes, just call, okay?” You gave a quick nod to the team captain, accompanied by a shy smile. To any casual passer-by, the comment may have seemed sarcastic, the usual banter between friends that care about each other. But the team knew that that was not sarcastic at all and that Isaac would indeed, without a shadow of a doubt, kill someone for you.

You couldn’t exactly remember when, but somewhere down the line, the team had become your chosen family. However, you could clearly remember how that process had started.

You had started working for AFC Richmond around the same time that Ted and Coach Beard did. You didn’t care much for football or sports in general, but you had just recently graduated from university and had found this work through Keeley. You and her had met at your cousin’s going away party a few years before, when he had decided to move to Greece to become an archaeologist. You had immediately bonded over who can even remember what, and remained close friends ever since. So, when she heard that the position had just opened up, she immediately sent your CV to Rebecca, without warning you first. You found out about the job only when you received a call from a certain Mr Higgins, who told you that they had read your curriculum and found it really interesting. And so, you ended up moving to Richmond-upon-Thames and started working for the club.

It didn’t take you long to get to know the team and become friends with them. Obviously, you had your prejudices against footballers, who you thought were self-centred egomaniacs – and you weren’t completely wrong about that – but, to your surprise, most of them turned out to be great people. You quickly became very close with Sam; Roy tolerated you; Isaac and Colin were always kind to you. Even Jamie Tartt, the prick of the team, would usually drop his dickhead persona when he was with you. And that was how you two ended up together. For the first month or so, you would notice his constant flirting, but you never really gave it too much thought. You had read about him in the tabloids, and you knew how he was famous for having a different girl every week. You weren’t that oblivious, you knew he was fit. But, every time he would flirt with you, you would play along for a while, before brushing it off and going back to your business. I’m just his latest challenge, he will move on sooner or later, you thought. Until, roughly a month and a half after you had started working there: he started waiting for you outside the clubhouse, asking you if you needed a ride home. Which then turned into him asking you to grab a coffee with him one day before practice. Then it was dinners. Movie nights at his place. Stolen glances in the hallways of the clubhouse. Sneaking in the boot room to secretly make out. And sooner than you could realise, you were sleeping over at his place most of the time.

You asked him to keep things private for a while. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of him. You just needed to be sure about him. So, you kept sneaking around. Avoiding each other as much as possible, too worried that the team might just figure it out. Let me show you off, Jamie would whisper into your ear, in-between wet kisses, as he stood behind you in the kitchen in the morning, wrapping his arms around your waists. Let me take you out to a restaurant, on a proper date, he insisted. But you kept declining his offers. Not yet, baby, you would reply, as you slowly melted under his touch, I need a little more time, you said as you turned around in his arms. And the conversation would die there, with Jamie immediately picking you up and placing you on top of the kitchen counter, his lips trailing their way down your neck, your collarbone, your chest, down, down, until your vision turned hazy and you had to grip onto the marble countertop with all the strength you had in your body, too afraid you might fall off of it, as his lips met finally met your core.

You were able to keep your relationship private longer than you had expected. It was after almost 4 weeks that Nate eventually walked in on you two in the boot room. You weren’t doing anything too private, you were merely making out. But Nate being Nate, froze on his feet as he saw you two holding onto each other, too stunned to move. I was… I needed to… sorry… I didn’t…. As usual, he was too embarrassed to form a complete sentence, so he simply left the room. You two looked at each other and knew that it was only a matter of time before your secret would be out. And you were right. The secret didn’t last the entire day, and when it was time to go home after practice, you were met by a horde of football players, asking you when it had started, how long had that been going on, if you two were official, and so on.

Somehow, but still not completely unexpectedly, the news reached the press in less than a day. The next morning, as you lied in bed with Jamie’s head on your chest, you were woken up by the constant buzzing of your phone. Check this article from The Sun, said a message from your high school friend, with a link attached to it. Is it true? Asked your mother. Congratulations! read the message from your aunt from whom you hadn’t heard in ages. And the messages kept coming. Yes, it was true. You were now in a relationship. Yes, your boyfriend was a famous footballer. Yes, you knew about his fame. Still, you didn’t care. Because, when Jamie was with you, he wasn’t Jamie Tartt, star striker for AFC Richmond, but just Jamie. And you loved just Jamie. He was sweet, he was passionate, he was kind, he always made sure you were feeling well, he brought you flowers once a week, he left some coffee for you in the pot in the mornings, he always made sure you were sexually satisfied – something he was really proud of.

Sadly, you hadn’t realised that, with going public, also came the hate from his fans, who thought that you would be too distracting for their beloved favourite player, and from the girls, the actresses, the top models, the reality tv stars, who had hoped to one day end up with him and whose dream you had shattered overnight. You pulled through it, and that was also thanks to Jamie, who never missed the chance to remind you how much he loved you and cared for you.

However, two months after going public, things started to change. You couldn’t understand why if it was something that you had done or said, but he started to become distant, cold. He would invite you less and less over to his place, and when he did, it was mainly to have sex, to ‘release the tension from practice’. And whenever the team lost, the sex would be rough. He was always on his phone, texting, dming, emailing. A part of you knew it was girls he was talking to, but you couldn’t bring yourself to confront him about it, so you just said nothing and held on. He soon stopped asking you how you were, telling you how much he loved you. You tried asking him what was going on, but he would always deny everything, saying that you were imagining things, that you were just paranoid, and that everything was fine. Fine. Oh, how you came to hate that word. You asked him how he was. Fine. You asked him if he wanted to spend the night together. Fine. You asked him if he wanted to drive to the clubhouse together. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. You hated fine. In Jamie’s language, fine meant if you really have to, or I would rather you left me alone, or I don’t really care. You hated it. And you hated what your relationship had become. But still, something stopped you from leaving him, maybe the hope that soon things would go back to normal, that soon he would go back to being just Jamie.

But that never happened.

And things only got worse when Ted decided to take him out during a match. You knew that Ted was doing it to teach him a lesson, and he was right to want to do so. But as you watched your boyfriend leave the pitch, you knew things would only get worse. So, you stopped constantly looking for him. You stopped texting him every day. You only met when he asked you.

It was in that period that you grew closer to Sam. You could distinctly remember the day he walked into your office to ask you for a few suggestions on how to make his Instagram page more appealing. Instead walked in on you sitting on the floor, with your back against the wall and your hands in your hair. You didn’t even have the strength to pretend things were okay, so you simply looked up, black lines scarring your cheeks, and met his eyes. “Sorry, Sam, it’s… not a great moment.” You struggled to get the words out.

But Sam didn’t say anything. Instead, he closed the door behind him, made his way across the room and took a seat on the floor next to you. “Is it Jamie?” He asked with his thick Nigerian accent that you would grow to love and even find familiar. You nodded silently. “Do you want to talk about it?” You shook your head. “Do we just sit in silence?” A nod. A beat. Then your head slowly fell to the side, until it found its resting place on his shoulder.

You don’t exactly know how long you stayed there, on the floor, in silence. It could have been a few minutes or entire hours. In either case, Sam stayed there, and didn’t leave your side. He never once took out his phone to check his messages, even though you could feel it buzzing in his pocket. He only changed position once, to move his arm and wrap it around your shoulders. That was the first time you had spent that much time in silence with someone without feeling the need to fill it with superficial chatter.

From that day forward, you and Sam were inseparable. There was something about him that simply brought you comfort, a comfort that not even Jamie had been able to give you. Whenever you weren’t sleeping over at Jamie’s, he would come to pick you up and drive you to work. He would drive you home in the evenings, making sure you were all the way inside your house, before sprinting off the road to go home himself. You would start having lunch together, usually joined by some of the other guys – in all of this, most of the time Jamie was nowhere to be found. And whenever your boyfriend acted like a dick with you in front of everyone, he would speak up. Are you his boyfriend now, Sammy? Jamie would mock him, using your nickname for him. I don’t think so. She’s me girl, so I’ll talk to her how I want, a’ight? He would puff out his chest, trying to look bigger and intimidating.

That evening, after practice was over, Jamie sprinted off to who knows where or to who knows who, leaving you there, alone. And, as per usual, Sam would come to the rescue, offering you a lift home.

“Why are you still with him?” Sam asked you as he stopped in front of your house. “You deserve better, not an asshole like him.”

You shook your head. “He’s not like that when it’s just the two of us.” You would always find a way to make excuses for him.

“I don’t care how he is when he’s alone with you, Y/N! If he really loves you, he should treat you well in public as well!” You had never really heard Sam raising his voice before, and it would have been a lie if you had said that you were not intimidated. But, despite everything, you could feel the care and preoccupation in his voice. “You deserve someone that truly cares for you, and that isn’t afraid to show it!” You knew he was right. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to say something, to break up with him.

But you never had to.

It was maybe a week after your discussion with Sam when you showed up unannounced at his place. It was cold outside, and you were only wearing a thick jumper. You stood there, in front of his door for at least three whole minutes, before finally knocking on his door. You knocked instead of ringing the bell so that if he was already asleep, you wouldn’t wake him. But he had heard it, and less than 10 seconds later, he was opening the door.

“Y/N, what are you-” He didn’t even finish his question. He took one look at you and knew exactly what had happened. He took your hand gently in his, and immediately pulled you inside, guiding you to the living room. “Wait here a moment.” He said, making you seat on the couch, before running off in search of a blanket. “Okay, wrap yourself in this while I put the kettle on.” He opened the blanket and put it around your shoulders.

“Stay here, please.” You whispered, grabbing him by the wrist before he could move away again.

“But you’re shivering.”

“Just… please.”

As soon as he met your eyes once again, he felt his heart drop to his stomach. He had seen you in distress before, he had comforted you multiple times after your fights with Jamie. But this time he didn’t even need for you to tell him what had happened, he already knew. He took a seat next to you, fixing the blanket so that it was properly covering your entire body, before pulling you to his chest.

“He said that I was too much work.” The words left your mouth watery. “That I asked too much of him. And that, since he was going back to Man City, it was better to call it quits.” You whispered. You could feel Sam’s body tense, the air blowing through his nose. You knew he wanted to say a lot of things. He wanted to tell you that he was a dickhead, that he never realised what he had in front of him, that he had just lost the best woman he could ever find, that he was a moron, a jerk, an idiot, a fool. But he didn’t. He remained silent. And he did the best he could to comfort you. He stroke your hair and your back, he rocked you and hummed to you, until you fell asleep.

After that night, it didn’t take long for the rest of the team to find out what had happened, and how it had happened. Every single one of the boys sent you a text, saying, each in their own way, that they were sorry, that Jamie was a dick, and that they were there for you if you needed them. And you were glad to know so many people cared for you, people that up until a few months ago didn’t even know you and that you would have never expected in your life to end up being friends with. They all stopped and hugged you when they met you in the corridor for the first time after it had happened. But some of them surprised you.

You hadn’t been able to sleep for the last few nights, which was made obvious to everyone by the way you dragged your feet against the floor whenever you walked around the clubhouse, your legs too heavy for your exhausted body to properly move. You had also stopped taking care of yourself. Yes, you showered and brushed your teeth because you hated not being presentable for work. But you had stopped brushing your hair every morning and every night, like your grandmother had thought you when you were little. And you had stopped wearing make-up. Not that you would normally put on a full face every day, but you stopped using mascara because it made your eyes burn whenever you cried, and the light concealer you used under your eyes to make yourself look fresher, more awake. And now your puffy red eyes and dark circles were there, on display, for everyone to see, a reminder of how you were feeling.

That morning you had opted for a very comfortable pair of sweatpants and a warm AFC Richmond hoodie. Using supportiveness as a way to hide your depression. Smart, you thought. Sad. You were sitting in your office, alone, working on the new social media campaign, when suddenly you heard someone knock on your door. “Come in.” You said flatly. As the door opened, you looked up from your laptop, only to see Sam walk in, followed by Isaac, Colin and Dani. “How can I help you, boys?” You forced a smile on your face.

“Want to watch a movie with us tonight?” Asked Isaac, taking the lead. You looked at the quartet in front of you, unsure of what to say. “We can watch whatever sad movie you prefer, and Dani can bring some Mezcal.”

“Boys, I-” You started, but you were instantly cut off.

“Uh-uh!” The Welsh stepped forward. “We don’t want to hear any I’d rather be alone or I don’t want to be a bother bullshit, okay? We want to do this.”

“Yes, we only asked to be nice, but if you say no, we will just kidnap you and force you to do it.” Said Sam, a soft, warm smile on his face, as he leaned over your desk.

“Por favor, Y/N” Dani pled, showing you his big, brown puppy eyes.

“Fine!” You gave in. “On one condition: we order Chinese.”

They all look at each other, before bursting out laughing.

A/N: if you read all the way through, thank you ! feel free to leave a feedback/comment. i would love to know what you think about it and if you would be interested in reading more of this story. let me know if you would like to be put in a taglist for this fic! love you <3

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fic #ted lasso #softspaceboibrian writings #ted lasso fic #sam obisanya #isaac mcadoo #colin hughes #dani rojas #rebecca welton #roy kent #keeley jones #coach beard

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rosenroteis · 2 years

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A Maté Fueled Rant Tangentially About Gender and Identity, But Originally Was About That

Sometimes, I hate the fact that I am AFAB and have a very femme voice, even when I attempt the lower registers(which I am only able to do due to some of the music I listen to, but going into my super-low metal voice hurts like a motherfucker and I reserve it for comedic or intimidation purposes only, and is probably partially why my male voice attempts have a slight German accent), especially when I am trying to be male-presenting.

Oh, I use a neopronoun online because the spaces I tend to hang out in are more accepting of my pronoun "comrade" than semi-rural very Republican town of Bigger Bumfuck, Rectangular State, USA. I use they/them in IRL areas because I do identify as bigender and being called she/her pisses me off to no end, even when I feel more femme. Call me sir? Dopamine through the fucking roof! That means I pass as male for a little while!

Having a female-coded name doesn't help much, either. But I'm keeping it for semi-therapeutical reasons.

But, yeah, I have short hair(that I'm growing out for winter to hopefully stay that much warmer), pretty much only wear clothes from the men's department(I had someone ask me what my size in women's was, and I responded "extra large in men's." I haven't shopped in the women's department willingly since I was 15. Thank Lord Sheogorath I have a partner who is a snazzy dresser and knows male fashion damn well, among other things), walk rather mannishly, and can easily be labeled as butch lesbian by looks alone. I think I was even asked if I was a lesbian a few times. But nah, I swing both ways, just like my gender identity.

The trouble always goes back to my voice. I can be looking my most masculine, have a safely made makeshift binder on that constantly falls because my partner and I were being extra cautious about the whole thing, even be able to nail the masculine voice a bit before the pain sets in, and then one tweaking motherfucker decides to do his darndest to piss me off and start a fight.

It was a good day up to that point. I got affirmation after affirmation that I was male-passing. To be fair, this was Democratic-Republican-Capitalist Pseudo-Hippy-Town City With A Tea Factory, Just-South-Of-Rectangle-State Kinda-Square State, USA. Very strong LGBTQA+ support there.

But that fucking tweaker. I fucking hate asshole tweakers. I could not care less what your vice is, just do it in a place that you can't hurt others and minimize harm to yourself for fuck's sake. Don't bring that shit to the streets.

But yeah, this asshole decides to start berating me for living in this capitalist wasteland, thinking I was a guy. The only thing I hate more than capitalism and Herma-Mora is someone coming at me aggressively with the intent of either a fight or total domination of the area I am in, completely unprovoked. Leave me alone, I will leave you alone. I am a reactive being. What you show me, I will show back.

I did my best to stay silent. I really did.

I then told him to kindly fuck off, as the tunnel vision was coming in. I was ready to throw hands if needed, with no regard for my personal safety. He probably had a knife or something. I also suck at physical confrontations.

But my damn voice.

He realized I wasn't a cis man.

To dude's credit, though, as he was continuing to berate me, he did ask "Sir? Ma'am?"

He did end up fucking off, though, after I told him to fuck off five more times.

The damage was done, though. All of the gender euphoria I had gotten was spent, because I have a feminine voice.

Thank you for coming to my caffeine-fueled TED Talk.

#long rant #bigender #gender identity #long post about basically nothing

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dameronology · 3 years

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lonely eyes (frank castle)

summary: frank castle therapises you, basically (based on the song lonely eyes by the front bottoms - the song uses she/her pronouns but this fic is gender neutral).

warnings: language, mentions of weapons

i've been in the frank feels lately so this is just a 3k hurt/comfort dump. enjoy!!

- jazz xx

Frank Castle was something of an expert on bad days.

He'd had his fair share of them and he could easily see them in you. He was a man designed to read people and you were a creature of habit. Your little routines - from the way you took your coffee in the morning, to your intense skin care routine at night - were all intricately intertwined into his life. Not only did they offer a much needed consistency to his life, but they were also an inadvertent way for Frank to check on you. He constantly worried, but he didn't like to constantly ask. So, he stuck to keeping a watchful eye on your habitual life-style. Making sure that you always had the same semi-burnt eggs in the morning, and that you always gave him a kiss on the cheek after a work with an unrequited TED Talk about your day. You were the bright spark in his otherwise pitch black life, and he would notice straight away if it dimmed even a little.

Frank had always struggled to express his love for you. He always had. It was probably because he'd been winging this whole thing from the start - how was someone like him supposed to get into a relationship? He knew the answer: they weren't supposed to. But then he'd met you, and you were the first person in fucking forever who made him feel more like Frank and less like the Punisher. You loved him and he'd let you. You never found it hard to let your feelings be known. But Frank? It was difficult. He could say it outright but it never felt like enough. He wanted his actions to show you. He wanted you to feel how much he loved you, rather than hear it.

So, for him, memorising your routines and treating your habits like a For Dummies manual was all in his own, weird love language.

A cold Wednesday afternoon in January was a testament to that. Frank had woken up under the thin sheets, greenish-brown eyes focused on the window across the room. It was glazed over with ice, the blurry lights of Hell's Kitchen slightly phased out by the frost. He'd expected to be met by the soft touch of your skin but instead, it was just the cold sheets. That was out of character for you. You'd always waited for Frank before you got up.

He kicked aside the blanket and stood up. The kitchen was only a few strides away - after all, your apartment was small. The rent was way too high but it was home for both of you. It had only been yours originally, but then Frank had wormed his way inside and it was filled with others kinds of...interesting clutter. Boots askew in the hallway, the occasional hand-gun taped to the inside of your nightstand, large black hoodie draped over the back of your desk chair. Not to mention the sixty-pound pit bull that had found his way to your couch - or the dog hair that came with owning Max.

Frank found you stood by the counter; you were wearing one of his chunky hoodies, eyes staring blankly ahead. There was no coffee in your hand or eggs on the stove.

"Morning sunshine," he greeted you in a gravelly voice. "Everything okay?"

He reached over your form to grab a mug from the kitchen cupboard above you, pressing a kiss to the back of your head as he did. A hand lingered on the side of your for a moment - he was always softer in the morning. Probably because nobody had had the chance to piss him off yet.

"Coffee?" Frank asked.

"I'm good," you tilted your head up towards him, forcing a smile. "Sorry, I'll move so you can get to the cupboard-"

"- Hey."

Frank reached out and grabbed you by the arm, pulling you back towards him as you brushed past. His grip was firm but fair - a mixture of concern and tired frustration. He'd barely been up five minutes.

"What, Frank?" you raised an eyebrow.

"Lights on but nobody's home, huh?" he asked. "You know I can tell when you're not all there, right?"

"Yeah," you nodded. "I promise I'm fine-"

"- Bullshit," he cut you off again. "I'm gonna get some coffee in me and then we're gonna talk, okay?"

"I'm fine," you pushed. "I don't wanna be late for work."

"Work doesn't matter when you feel like ass," Frank reminded you. "Like I said - coffee, clothes, then we'll go to that place downstairs with the breakfast you like and you can vent all you want. I'll even let you do it for free."

"I can't..." you pulled your hands away. "I just want to get to work, okay? No early morning ambushes, please."

Frank sighed. His immediate reaction was to become frustrated - not at you, but the fact you wouldn't let him help you. Nine times out of ten you would open up to him with ease. Then there would be the tenth one - times like this - where you just...clammed up. Couldn't open to him, or to anyone for that matter. It was only time he ever felt helpless. Like he was floundering around, watching you hurt and spiral, but he couldn't do anything. Because being able to beat and fight his way out every situation was helpful, but it didn't do much for trying to understand you.

"Okay," he held his hands up in defense. "You wanna do it like that? Fine."

"I have to get to work,'" you brushed him off. "I'll see you later. Make sure you do the dishes-"

" - alright, I'll do the damn dishes," he cut you off. "Just stay safe, okay? And stay out of trouble."

Frank placed a hand on the back of your head, gently guiding you forward and pressing to your forehead. Because even when you were being a giant pain in his ass, he still always made sure you left for the day on good times. He'd gone through too much - lost too much - not to give you a goodbye kiss every time you left the room.

You didn't come home from work at the usual time.

Normally, you'd be through the front every-day by 6.15PM at the latest. Even when you stopped by your favourite pizza place for take-out, or when the subway was overwhelmingly busy, you were always home by that time at the latest. When you were gonna be late, you normally texted Frank to let him know.

It was 7PM now, and he'd heard nothing. That was unlike you, even in the most realistic of scenarios; if your phone died, you always carried a portable charger. If you lost signal, you always found somewhere with wifi - and in New York, it wasn't exactly hard. If you wanted to contact him, you would have found a way. Frank knew that. You prided yourself on good communication, after all, and there had been exactly twenty-four occasions where you'd threatened to beat him with a stick for his bad talking skills. Since then, you'd both made a conscious effort to let the other know that you were safe.

And so naturally, Frank was going out of his fucking mind with worry. That was unlike him - he was normally calm and self-contained. He hadn't been stricken with such panic before. Then again, he hadn't much left to lose before either. Back when it was just him, he hadn't had another person to worry about. His family were gone, he lived alone and friends weren't exactly idealistic in his line of work. Now, he'd built up this little world with you and he'd lost hours of sleep and days of his life trying to protect it. He'd stopped at nothing to keep you from the dangerous parts of his life. It was exhausting. It was fucking exhausting. But every time he looked at you, and felt like he was at home, he realised how worth it was.

Now, he was pacing back and forth in the living room, loaded shot-gun in one hand and the other fist clenched so hard that it was ghostly white. His head was working at a million miles an hour; forming a list of all his enemies, working out which one he needed to start with. Which man he had to beat the living daylights out of in order to find out what they'd done to you. Because that was the only logical explanation, right? Maybe it was good that Frank assumed the worst, because it meant he was pleasantly surprised when something less than the most unfortunate happened.

He froze when he heard the front door open.

Frank spun around, coming face-to-face with a rather defeated looking you. Your eyes looked tired beyond compare and your hair was a wind-swept mess, just about covered by the hoodie of the jumper you'd stolen from him that morning. Your clothes were completely drenched from the Winter rain outside.

He held your gaze for a moment, staring blankly with big, watery eyes. He was pissed. You knew he was pissed - he'd never mention it or act on it, but you'd seen that expression a million times before. You hated that you'd been the one to cause it, and you hated even more that you hadn't taken him up on his offer of free therapy and coffee that morning.

It had built up, you see. Your tiredness and rage; exhaustion at work, frustration at your family problems, stress about money and where the fuck your life was going. It had been weighing on your shoulders for a while now, forcing you further and further to the ground, til you were crumbling under the sheer force of it on your hands and knees. And you hadn't mentioned it to Frank - because, truthfully, he was the one thing in your life that you didn't have to worry about or doubt. Something that was ironic given who he was and what he did, but his steady presence and love for you had become the foundations of your sanity over the last few months.

In a split second, Frank had crossed the room and taken you in his arms. He wound one around your waist, his other hand coming up to rest on the back of your head and guide it into the crook of his neck.

He pulled back, taking your face in his hands.

"You can't..." Frank trailed off, taking a deep breath. "You can't do that, okay? You can't just run off-"

He stopped in his tracks when a sob escaped your mouth. It was an ugly one; a strangled, choked cry that you'd been swallowing down for months. Even though you'd cried watching Titanic last week, and got tearful over a video of a dog being adopted by an old man, you hadn't let this particular emotion out. It wasn't just sadness, it was...despair, maybe? The realisation that adult life was a fucking exhausting thing with no direction?

There was also an overhanging feeling of guilt; some of it aimed at how short you'd been Frank that morning when he'd just wanted to help, but most of it at the fact you'd left him in the dark all day. It wasn't fair on him, not after everything he'd been through. Even though the gun he'd been holding was abandoned on the floor now in disarray, you knew exactly what his thinking had been.

"Where have you been?" he asked gently. "Did someone hurt you?"

"No," you wiped your eyes, shaking your head. "I went for a walk on my lunch break and I just...I kept walking. I made it to fucking Brooklyn before I came back around and realised I should come home."

"Brooklyn?" Frank raised an eyebrow, giving you a soft smile. "You becoming a hipster or something?"

The corners of your lips twitched slightly - not quite a smile, but it was something.

Frank guided you towards the bedroom. He parked you at the end of the bed and began to take off your wet clothes - peeling off the drenched hoodie, the soaking leggings, your rain-filled boots. His hands worked quickly and easily, replacing the garments with another thick, knitted jumper of his and some soft sweatpants (also his, of course). He also wrapped a blanket around your shoulders, before dropping down beside you on the bed.

"Please don't go AWOL on me like that again," Frank quietly begged. "You know me and my old, haywire brain. I assume the worst. Thought you were dead or something."

You rested your head on his shoulder, letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry. I needed to clear my head."

"I know," he murmured. He rested a hand on your thigh, giving it a light squeeze. "What's going on?"

"Everything," you snorted. "I just feel lost recently. Like I don't know which direction I'm supposed to be going in or what I'm meant to be doing. I used to have all these hopes and dreams as a kid and now I just...now my hopes are dreams are about making next month's rent, or getting pizza for dinner."

Frank nodded in understanding. "Forgive me for sounding like an ass, but that's what adulthood is. It's realising that reality it shit and then turning to small things for an escape. You've cracked the code. All you can do is roll with the punches and order your favourite take-out."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "It's what I learnt after...after everything. That the big things don't matter all that much. It helps if they come about but in the long run, you gotta cling onto the good things in your day to day life. That's how you make it through. It's how you survive when things are tough. It does get better though - you just gotta wait it out."

You nodded. "I s'pose."

"I kept waiting it out and waiting it out after I lost my family. Never bothered all that much about why I was holding on still other than revenge, but then I met you. And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were less than one of the good things in my life," he continued. "Because truth be told, I feel like that too sometimes, then I look at you, and things feel a little more okay again."

"Thank you, Frank."

"I mean it," he pressed a kiss to your temple. "I don't wanna see you sad, okay? So just promise me that there won't be any more of this disappearing, going off the grid bullshit?"

You took his face in your hands and planted a firm kiss on his lips.

"I promise," you agreed. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"Hey, you don't have to apologise," Frank replied. "You never have to apologise. Just...next time you wanna disappear, maybe we can do it together."

"Of course," you smiled. "I love you, Castle."

"I love you too," his grip on you tightened a little. "Never forget it."

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