#... okay guess sandor's better off than jaime but not that much

[janiedean]

thebluelemontree ha risposto al tuo post “any tips for writing sandor circa agot?”

great list. I would also add his general vibe is cynical seventeen year old know-it-all. For a man in his late twenties, he is not emotionally mature. He cracks jokes at Robb in the training yard that only Joffrey finds funny. He really shouldn't care what an eleven year old thinks, but he does take her worldview seriously enough to argue with her.

... excellent point you have there ANON THIS TOO

#thebluelemontree #ch: sandor clegane #janie replies #forgot the other reason why he and jaime would make excellent bffs #UTTER LACK OF EMOTIONAL MATURITY #... okay guess sandor's better off than jaime but not that much #god then you wonder why those two disasters were 2/3rds of my original agot top three

[a-libra-writes]

who do you think would prefer an s/o who’s charming, more of a people person, using their words to get what they want vs an s/o who’s more quiet, strategic, and plans and schemes to get what they want? is it a case of opposites attract, or would they want someone to compliment them? 👀

.......so i ended up having a lot of thoughts about this LOL 

okay so i think this depends on the s/o’s morals! like you can be scheming to help others instead of hurting them. so let’s go with that bc i dont wanna brainstorm a low ethics/morality s/o (this makes me think of 7KPP, a fantastic visual novel that’s the only decent Court Drama Simulator vn i’ve come across). Also there’s a loooot of characters so imma just list the ones I have Strong Thoughts on and sort them by region oh lord what have you done my dork is showing

Northbois

So while I feel like Robb and Ned would prefer a more outgoing and charming sort of person ... I really can’t help but ship them with someone whose more cunning and can actually play the game of thrones. Like lord someone help these Starks because their intrigue score is 0 and they need someone protecting them from Tywin, Roose and Walder LOL. I can really see both father and son thinking their s/o is this sweet thing and not having a clue of how much scheming they’re actually doing to protect Winterfell... Ned would probs catch on after a while but Robb would just be blinded by love and devotion haha. 

Sansa would probs want the first ideally, but as she gets older she’d greatly appreciate someone who has that sort of cunning and uses it for good purposes. Also she’d like a calm and steady personality to rely on.

Jory is a straight up honest guy to a fault, kinda like Ned, so he’d also prefer the first type of person and appreciate them more.

OKAY SO you’d think Roose would go for the second type but HEAR ME OUT. I think he’d go for both equally, or a mix of the two. Listen. I have a strong HC that he would be very attracted to someone who is his opposite in many ways - outgoing, charming, sweet and kind. If that person also happens to be cunning as hell and willing to manipulate anyone - even him - to protect what’s their’s, oof. He’s gone. I think he’d really get off on the idea of having an s/o who everyone is shocked he’s involved with bc “omg they’re sooo nice” and only he really knows their “other side”, so to speak. Realtalk I don’t think he’d go for someone just as morally awful as him bc he’d see them more as a threat than a potential partner.

Ramsay is a little shit that would also be attracted to the first kind of person but honestly needs the second type to keep his ass in line. That’s the sort of person who would figure him out and manipulate him accordingly so he isn’t skinning the goddamn neighbors. Also he wouldn’t give a damn about their morals so go off i guess just dont start any revolts in the north

VERY Northbois

Jon really doesn’t care for schemes, even if he acknowledges they’re useful, and he’d be attracted to someone who knows just what to say and is charismatic bc lord knows he’s struggled w that for a bit.  Benjen really loves outgoing, charming and talkative peeps esp when they wiggle their way out of stuff or convince the upper command of the Watch to consider a different plan. He’ll be soooo attracted to that. Edd is kinda meh on both I’d feel? Like he’d prefer a quieter person but not a scheming sort, that’s too troublesome to deal with. I think he could come around to the first one eventually.

Mance super respects the second type, he finds it very attractive actually, especially when they start manipulating him into something and he catches them. Tormund is a dork and prefers outgoing people, totally doesn’t notice when he’s being taken in lol. He rlly hates the second sort of person, sees them as snakes.

Southbois

Edmure would absolutely be drawn to a gregarious and outgoing person! And if they can talk their way into or out of things thank god bc fishboy has a habit of putting his foot in his mouth. I really don’t think it’d work out with a schemer person bc of that Tully honor, and unlike Ned or Robb, Edmure would start to catch on (I don’t buy into the show characterization of Edmure like frack that he’s not an idiot). Brynden has a lot of experience and has seen a lot of BS, so he’d understand the risks and sacrifices his s/o would be making when they’re playing the game, and he’d really wish they wouldn’t!! Like yeah it’s to protect their family and friends but he wishes they didn’t have to do that. He wants to protect them on his own.

Brienne REALLY prefers someone whose honest and can talk their way in and out of things!! Like the Starks she’s very honorable and has no patience for lies and manipulating even if it’s for something good. It’d take a lot for her to trust and be attracted to that kind of person, they’d have to like... be very honest with her about what their plans are and why they’re doing them. 

Kingslanding bois

oh lord Stannis okay so INITIALLY he’d be put off by both personalities for diff reasons - outgoing because socializing and diplomacy is something he just sucks at and the second one because holy hell he hates dishonesty and scheming. Now, he can admire a strategic and collected mind, but as soon as dishonorable plots roll in he starts side-eyeing. I think it would take some time for that latter personality to gain his trust, and if this is like... his wife we’re talking about, she’d probs have to scheme behind his back, even if it’s for his own sake. For an outgoing person, he could eventually befriend or fall for them once some common ground is found. He wouldn’t be able to admit how much he admires their people skills haha.

Davos understands that sometimes manipulating and scheming is needed and can be used for good, but personally he prefers a more diplomatic, out in the open approach. So the first type is def his kinda person. He could still befriend the second type as long as they’re not assholes, though.

Tywin would honestly work with both sides of the spectrum and in between, but ultimately, you’d have to understand who you’re dealing with. There’s no honor or high ground being involved with Tywin Lannister, and the s/o should expect to get dragged into his schemes, esp when he trusts them ... and that’s no easy feat. Ultimately it’s less of how you get what you want and more of ... what are you willing to do to get it. Pesky morals and all that.

Tyrion has had enough of his dad’s bullshit that he’d only be romantically involved with the first type, someone who uses sass and flattery like he does. He can still respect and befriend a more cunning person, though. Jaime also prefers the first type, he thinks it’s just because “oh I like outgoing and forward people” and not...”i’ve spent years dealing with lies and schemes from father and cersei”, yanno that old chestnut. Bronn definitely prefers gregarious and cheeky peeps, schemes go over his head and bore him.

Sandor dislikes both sorts of personalities for different reasons ... He’s offput by someone who would be very talkative and outgoing with him (like why are they talking to him wtf), and he also hates scheming and lying and all that, he’s seen too much of it. The first type has a better chance of befriending and getting close to him, the second not so much. 

Petyr very much respects and admires both but like ... you know he’d prefer someone that he thinks he can outwit and manipulate, so probably more of the first type of personality because they seem less cunning and more of “just” a people person. Given his obsessive/yandere tendencies he probably wouldn’t notice he was being taken in by someone friendly and kind. 

like okay weird thing to think about but just consider this... I really wonder what it’d be like if Robert had an s/o like the first one you mentioned. Not Cersei, certainly not his beloved Lyanna - a third party, a gracious and likeable queen that kinda makes up for his faults and she’s TRYING hard as hell. like idk if they’d ever fall in love but like idk i feel like his depression would be slightly lessened to have a partner that’s very beloved and tries to help him and put him in a good light in his subject’s minds. Am I making sense? She’s not perfect but she wants what’s best for the realm and if she’s gotta do it herself she will. IDK sorry this is a tangent, i think about major change AUs and their political consequences a lot

Heckin south n east bois

Margaery is a Big Gay and you can’t fight me on this, you will lose. She’s super attracted to the first kind of gal bc that’s def how she is herself! So she’d love to play those little word games with them. The second personality type she’d just write off as “eh quiet person” but once she got closer and began to realize their cunning and wittiness she’d def take an interest, esp if she found out about some good things they did. Then it’d be a classic “outgoing babe dating more reserved babe” and yall both would be VERY well-known in court. absolute power couple

Oberyn likes both equally! Especially if your motives are to help others and/or save your friends and family. He loves that kinda loyalty and he really admires someone who has a way with words and schemes in equal measure. Hell he does both himself. He might lean more toward an outgoing person just because that’s how he is too.

idk where to put Beric but he rlly likes the first kind of people!! He’d probs ask you to get supplies or money on the Brotherhood’s behalf, and he actually kinda likes it when he finds himself doing something you wanted cause you asked so nicely or talked him into it ..... Thoros calls him a simp and it’s true ok don’t bully he can’t help it

& lastly Essosssss

So, I think Daenerys would be a lot more drawn to the second kinda person. First of all: Very mysterious, ooh. Secondly, she’d appreciate a cool head that will tell her the truth and is willing to do more unsavory things bc they believe in her so much. Obvs she would need someone with unquestionable loyalty, and once she tests and is reassured of that loyalty, then she could start some kinda romance. She’s def attracted to someone who can get shit done that way.

Jorah is a big opposite in that he’s kinda had to do that unsavory stuff himself and is still ashamed by it, and generally doesn’t trust people like Littlefinger and Varys and Illyrio, etc so he’d prefer someone who is just genuine and talks their way out of things. Also yall know him he can’t resist once he starts liking someone like cmon

Grey Worm is absolutely in the first camp too but for diff reasons! Scheming and all that shit just makes him nervous and he distrusts it, even if it’s for Daenerys’ sake. He just wouldn’t associate with the person ... Someone more outgoing would definitely fluster him more but at least he could feel like he could trust them. Missandei can go either way - she knows the power in both diplomacy and manipulation, and would likely admire and be pulled to someone who uses both to help people. 

sorry i got so wordy and a bit repetitive lol both are like, my fav kinda character archtypes, esp for court settings.

#libra says #libra says A LOT OF SHIT LOL oops #yall can send in stuff like this anytime idgaf its interesting #libra headcanons #got x reader #got imagines #game of thrones x reader

[kateofthecanals]

Okay let’s talk about The Scene™

So lemme preface this by saying that I know there are a lot of you out there who are just happy to have SOMETHING and would rather just take it for what it is, and that’s totally fine, I get it. Part of me would love to do the same, but.... if you’ve been following this blog for more than a millisecond, you already know that’s not how I roll. ;-)

I’m going to break down the scene moment by moment and give my thoughts along the way. Join me, won’t you?

For starters, let’s set the scene. It’s after the battle, winter is officially over, all the dead have been burned (you know, that famous Northern tradition...?). Sansa has a good sob over Theon’s corpse. Remember how I said a few days ago that they were just playing hot potato with Sansa at this point, passing her around all the eligible bachelors of Winterfell? WELL...

Next we cut to the Great Hall where things are kind of... awkward? Everyone’s just kinda sitting around, keeping to themselves... Jon is sitting between Sansa and Dany and staring at Dany with these dumb puppy eyes, which, lbr, sums up his whole character. 

Now you know how Ghost feels, ya dick...

Sandor is doing what he does best -- sitting by himself, stuffing his face with booze and (presumably) chicken. Gendry asks him if he’s seen Arya, and apparently Sandor knows that they boned?? How?? Who the hell would have told him that? Melisandre? Anyway, Sandor throws him shade for wanting to get some puss so soon after the battle and it’s like... Bro, maybe YOU need to get laid too JUST SAYIN.

Dany decides to liven up the party by announcing that Gendry is now legitimized and the Lord of Storm’s End... thereby making him a contender for the Iron Throne lmao you dumbass. Everyone raises their goblets to Gendry Baratheon, and Sandor’s like “whatevs” and goes back to his chikin cuz he a rude boi boi.

Meanwhile, Sansa exchanges a pointed look with Tyrion and I have no idea what it was supposed to mean but I am sure there was like two paragraphs of “subtext” in D&D’s script about it that we were supposed to magically pick up on.

Tormund then raises his horn to the Dragon Queen, but Dany (rightly) counters by raising a toast to Arya, “the hero of Winterfell”. Sandor’s only slightly more impressed by this.

“Okay I’ll give ya that one--BUUURRRRRP.”

Sansa is all smiles but then she looks over at Dany and she stops smiling and gets up and leaves without explanation and inexplicably disappears UNTILLLLLL...

Tormund hits on Brienne but she swerves him, and Jaime gets up to follow her, and we all know they’re going to do it. Tormund is heartbroken, so naturally he pours his heart out to his BFF... Sandor. This is the second time tonight Sandor is listening to a guy lament about his sex life. Naturally Sandor is annoyed af. 

He’s seriously considering jumping into the hearth rn...

Tormund gets over Brienne pretty quick, though, when a couple of Northern groupies approach the table and are like WILD THANG I THINK I LOVE YOU and he’s like SOLD! 

Meanwhile, we finally see Sansa again, standing somewhere nearby watching all this like:

Again, I must reiterate that we haven’t seen Sansa since she randomly left the table after looking at Dany like 5 minutes ago. Is this where she’s been? Has she been discreetly watching Sandor this whole time??

Tormund’s like YOU COMIN’ CLEGANE? And Sandor like NOPE still got some drinking to do. So Tormund fucks off with his groupie and the other one pops a squat next to Sandor and proceeds to hit on him.

Gotta get dat Hounddong...

Sansa is still watching Sandor, looking at him like he’s GODDAMN SNACK

“Has he been here the whole time?? Weird...”

Groupie #2 tries to make a move but Sandor tells her to fuck off and she does. Sansa is like (Now I make my move...)

Sansa sits down across from Sandor and says “She could have made you happy. For a little while.” Sandor replies, “Only one thing could make me happy.” When she asks what, he says, “That’s my fucking business.”

Now, I know some of y’all are thinking this is a callback to Sandor telling Arya that fucking Sansa “bloody” would have been at least “one happy memory.” Buuuut I honestly think he was talking about Cleganebowl here. The implication is that not even the offer of free sex is enough to satisfy the Hound’s lusts. Which... sigh, okay, look, y’all know my stance on (book)Sandor’s sexual proclivities, so him blowing off a random groupie is NOT, imo, out of character for him. And if this were indeed the books, I definitely think his line about “one thing” that could make him happy, especially directed at Sansa, would indeed mean what I think y’all want it to mean. But this is GoT, so... no.

Now, him saying “That’s my fucking business” at first made me a little annoyed, but, hey, he’s always been rough-tongued with her. What really counted here, to me, is that she didn’t react to it. While she would have been justified in being like “don’t speak to me that way, asshole”, her face kinda said to me that she knows his gruff exterior is just that, and she knows better. And he knows she knows better. They have history. She’s seen him at his most vulnerable. She’s not gonna give him the satisfaction of reacting to his shittery. 

At least, that’s my headcanon. In D&D’s head, she probably thinks his asshole ways are super Badass now or whatever...

Anyway, after a few seconds of eye-fucking, Sandor says that there was a time when she couldn’t look at him (which... wasn’t really a thing on the show?). She says she’s seen much worse than him since. He then proceeds to say that he “heard” about what happened to her (really? how? when? from who? Bran??) and that he heard she’d been “broken in rough”.... and.... just.... excuse me while I vomit??? Now we know that Sanford has no skills at speaking to rape victims, but this was just soooo unnecessarily vile. Especially considering this is the girl whom he had spent TWO SEASONS protecting, one of those incidents being an ATTEMPTED RAPE??? The Sandor I know, the Sandor who told Sansa “no one would ever hurt you again or I’d kill them”, would rip Ramsay’s dick off with his bare hands. 

“I’m sorry that happened to you. I should have been there.” -- what Sandor SHOULD have fucking said.

But Sansa assures him that she took care of Ramsay himself. He asks how, and she says... “Hounds.” This makes him laugh, which... that’s nice? I guess? 

I hope D&D don’t think they are gonna retcon Ramsay’s murder and claim that that was a direct reference to her connection with the Hound or anything because it totally fucking wasn’t. 

But anyway, yay for Sansa making Sandor laugh and smile. He then says, “You’ve change, little bird.” She doesn’t respond. Then he goes and makes things worse by saying that none of that would have happened to her if she’d just come with him when he left King’s Landing.

Um, first of all, NOT TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT, and second, EXCUSE me, are you GUILT-TRIPPING A RAPE VICTIM?? Are you really “I told you so”ing her????? What the FUCK???

Oh but if you thought it couldn’t POSSIBLY get worse than that, then you don’t know D&D. Sansa then reassures him and the world that if she hadn’t gotten raped and abused and manipulated, she would have stayed a “little bird” forever. Yep, there it is -- Sansa NEEDED to be traumatized in the worst possibly ways in order to be strong. FUCK. THIS. SHOW.

This was all said during The Hand Touch. Complete with a little thumb rub. Yes, I flailed when that happened and scared my cats. I have been watching the gif of it over and over it again. But watching it again in context.... what was the point?? Are we supposed to infer that she’s assuring him that she made the right decision? Why? He doesn’t seem like he NEEDS that reassurance. The whole exchange just makes NO DAMN SENSE. I know we loathe the Sansa Apology Tour, but even her apologizing for not going with him when she had the chance would have been 18764% better than THIS.

So then some more eye-fucking ensues, Sansa slowly rises to her feet, complete with a subtle little lip lick, and slinks away in a very “come follow me” way.... but he doesn’t.

So again, I have to ask, WHAT WAS THE POINT? Sandor’s two previous conversations leading up to this revolved around sex, Sansa was pointedly watching him reject another girl’s advances... and now you’re still gonna give me blue balls??? The 2 people in Winterfell who could use a good, consenting lay the most, and they just... walk away?? Sandor is bouncing off to what is probably his death, he even said in Season 4 that banging Sansa would be his only happy memory, she’s RIGHT THERE caressing his hand and licking her lips... but he’s just gonna sit there drinking alone all night??

Like literally you don’t even have to show anything (even though the Jaime & Brienne scene is exactly how the Sandor & Sansa scene should have ended), just have her get up and then he sits there for a second before saying “ah what the fuck” and gets up to follow her... and that’s it! We’d get it! And then HOORAY for Sandor & Sansa getting laid finally! Would that have been so hard??

But nah. Tbh this scene seemed like a throwaway, in the same vein as the Ghost scene -- just get it out of the way as quickly as possible so we don’t have to deal with it ever again. It’s more than I expected, but it’s also just as bad as I expected. 

I can’t believe I waited 5 years for a SanSan reunion and they just used it as another excuse to justify Sansa’s rape.

#sansan #got spoilers #got season 8 spoilers

[dealbrekker]

Buckle Up Buttercups

The following is the result of one of the long-ass arguments I have in my head while in the shower, all of which lately have been about--you guessed it--Season 8 GoT.  ***Now I realize it would take a lot for this to actually happen, but the sheer energy in the visuals I was coming up with made me too happy so let’s roll with it***

Behold:  A rewrite.

Episodes 1 and 2 would remain largely the same but with more scenes with Cersei in the South.  More dialogue between her and Qyburn, her other advisers and Euron (I hate him) that would aid in leading to my re-imaginings.  I would also stretch these things out into Episode 3.  This would give us opportunity flesh out a possible Dany heel turn much better.  I think that in this time, Jon’s true identity would be spilled to his sisters, rather than in the canon Episode 4.  Bronn would show up and give his whole spiel to Tyrion and Jaime.  More suspicion between our key players in the North--more discussions showing Dany’s growing anxieties and realizations that she’s very close to being alone in the North.  This episode 3 would end with the Dead arriving and everyone having to put aside their misgivings.

Episode 4 plays out as just as the show’s Battle did until about the halfway point/a little before.  I figure this would be right around the time the dead start throwing themselves on the fiery barricade Mellisandre ignited.  Shots of the ground troops looking horrified and spent and defeated.  Jon and Dany are chasing the Night King through the sky--breaking up that killing arctic wind in the process--but too distracted to continue stopping the dead on the ground with dragon fire.

Just when the bulk of the dead are breaking through into the castle, we get a wide shot from above and outward from Winterfell that show the unfathomable masses of dead coming.  And then.   

Streaming over the back portions of the dead are projectiles--massive glittering jars that upon impact explode in wicked bursts of wildefire.  The green flames start vanquishing the dead.  And then a swath of red and gold soldiers slam into the dead from the side (a throw back to the Knights of the Vale arriving at the Battle of the Bastards).  King’s Landing has arrived.

And okay but listen.  Cersei sits upon a horse, far back from the castle, with the Mountain and Qyburn and Euron (I hate him) by her side as her army swarms past her to fight the dead.  She has her Smug Cersei Face locked in as she watches and her eyes flick to the sky where the dragons still battle.  I am NOT trying to make Cersei a hero here, just stick with me.  Her eyes are all for Dany and you can just sense the “yeah bitch, you thought” coming off her.

And I know it’s like the longest shot in the world to even think Cersei would come with her army if she sent one, but she has always believed herself invincible, especially with Mountain/Qyburn/Lannister followers blah blah.  So I could see her coming.  And definitely wanting to be there to soak up the moment.  She stays back from the fighting, though, obviously.  

We see the shock and confusion of our northern fighters, lasting only as long as possible before they have to refocus on the dead still pouring in.  Jaime especially is floored by this turn of events and his face does that great thing where all his emotions flood out without words.  This is point ONE of our hmmm moments.  

The rest of the episode remains the same.  Even with the Lannister forces, the dead are gaining ground, Qyburn convinces Cersei to retreat further back with little effort--because we can’t be that happy with her.  Arya does her badass thing and ends the Night King (because I LOVED that and wouldn’t change it for the world).

But here’s where it alters. 

Just when you think they’ve won--Cersei shows her true colors.  I see this as a direct assault (with that shock factor those writers love so much but actually in a way that TRULY MAKES YOU FEEL THE WAY THEY INTENDED, NOT JUST ANGRY) on Rhaegal.  Whether it is with a scorpion or wildfire--Cersei has clearly had this planned.  The dragon dies.  The Northerners outside witnesses this.   Jaime, Brienne, and Pod.  Dany and Jon.  Arya and Bran see him falling from the sky somewhere beyond the weirwood.  The episode ends on Dany’s enraged and defeated face transitioning to Cersei’s cold and domineering one.  Dany now doesn’t have time to properly mourn Jorah.  The Northerners have no time for anything.  Cersei is the Big Bad.  Like they clearly wanted her to be.  But failed in doing.

Episode 5:  A slight time jump.  Cersei and her retinue stand in the Winterfell Hall before Dany, Jon, and Sansa.  The only reason she is not dead is because A. Drogon is suffering from the wounds he received in battle and B. Cersei had tasked certain Lannister soldiers with procuring hostages.  This can include Northmen and Samwell. Our 3 protagonists cannot make a move without risking their lives.  Dany is verging on breaking down, and says something suggesting she doesn’t care about these people because they never cared for her, and is fully prepared to cut Cersei down with the Unsullied.  Sansa will not bear it, nor will Jon.  Everyone has their hands on their swords (except very obviously Jaime point TWO) while Tyrion and Varys are trying to mince words.  Cersei says she figured this to be the case, and reveals that she has Missandei, too.   Dany rages but stands back.  

And here people cleverer than I would write scathing dialogue between Cersei and the others that would firmly keep Cersei the egotistical villain.  Probably saying something like “I wanted the pleasure of destroying you all myself.”  We get a fantastic standoff between Sansa and Cersei.  “Little dove becomes a hawk, I see.”  “No,” Sansa says.  “She became the wolf she was always meant to be.”

Cersei makes references to possibly have spies among them, which would explain how she knows Missandei is important to Dany and Sam to Jon.  Eyes shift vaguely at Tyrion and Jaime.  Even Brienne side-eyes Jaime for the briefest of seconds Point THREE).  More barbs are thrown.  And now Cersie looks at Jaime and asks him to come back.  Not in a weepy, begging way, but in a “I will destroy this place, come be the lion I know you to be” way.  In an abuser telling their victim they’re not good enough for anything else kind of way.  And he looks at Tyrion for a moment, and very obviously doesn’t look at Brienne.  And crosses to Cersei’s side.  Cue the jeers.  Cue Brienne’s heartache.  Cue our collective gasps and rage.  Cue Cersei looking like the fucking Queen of the world for her victories.  Cue Euron (I hate him) looking pissed. 

And then, I honestly think that here Cersei would still have Missandei killed.  As a threat.  As a promise.  Just because she fucking can.  And she’s only truly interested in damaging Dany at this point, because she doesn’t know about Jon’s bloodline, and figures the North will be hers once Dany is dealt with.

Missandei’s death (after the proper build) would be the last straw for Dany.  She cannot act, though, because the Mountain stands before them.  She has the presence of mind to hold Greyworm back because she recognizes the futility of letting him throw himself at Cersei and the others.  Lines are drawn and Cersei leaves.

The last 1/2 to 3/4 of the episode would be the Battle.  

The battle would wage as most battles in the show have, but I will illustrate key things I imagine going down.

Sansa would speak with Jon before he heads out, urging him that it’s not just Cersei they need to keep an eye on.  He nods.  My Jon Snow, while not wanting the responsibility of ruling, has always put the realm before his own desires.  He goes to find Dany.  What he finds is a woman bereft.  The battle has begun, houses North and South locked in deadly combat beyond the walls of the castle.  Dany tells him all of this will be easy with Drogon.  The tides will turn once she lays waste to the Lannister army.  He says something to the effect of “And what of our army?” knowing that there will be no discerning Lannister bodies from Stark bodies in the wake of a dragon.  Dany will look him dead in the eye and say they were never her men.  It is a tone that clearly says they are his and they will die for it, same as Cersei’s.

Jon knows she is lost and kills her quietly as in the show.  I think it would hurt him to do so.  Jon is not without remorse for what Dany had been, what could have been built.  They are family after all, but again, Jon has always done what’s best for the realm, or has at least tried to.  Drogon appears, and for the sake of my ending, he’ll carry Dany away and vanish.  The thought of a dragon loose in the world tickles me.  The Unsullied and Dothraki that remain would be lost to the confusion of the dragon leaving and Dany’s disappearance.  They’d throw themselves into the battle, killing both sides, but eventually break under the loss of command and Queen.  (The surviving forces would be allowed to leave Westeros peacefully should they wish, or remain peacefully should they wish.) 

This leaves Cersei and the Iron Throne--as the show had been leading to.

The armies see the dragon leaving and this bolsters the Lannister forces.  We jump between individual battles.  And here is where another plot corrects itself.

Jump to Cersei and her guards.  The thick of battle edges closer to where she took up location, and Jaime is trying to get her to retreat further, touching the hilt of his sword and casting looks that make us rethink his motives, but her madness is upon her and she can’t look away from the battle.  Jaime has to deflect several renegade soldiers--if only to keep up appearances--and even gets sucked into the masses for a time.  

Sandor Clegane locates his brother where he guards Cersei.  They engage after either one of them kills Qyburn, and separate from Cersei.  We get flashes of their battle intermixed with the following.  Ultimately Sandor defeats the Mountain---and lives because I genuinely like that character.    

Euron (I hate him) is engaged by Yara and the surprise aid of the Iron Born.  Theirs would be an awesome fight, in which Yara guts him like a pig and takes his fucking rings or shit.  He pays the iron price, and she dedicates his death to Theon--a better Kracken than Euron (I hate him) ever was.

Flash back to Jaime.  Enter Brienne.  She is righteous in her anger and heartbreak.  Jaime tries to control his emotions, but he mirrors her sadness.  And they engage.  He is halfhearted, she is all rage.  It reflects their fight on the bridge when he was her prisoner.  Their fight is only one that they can have, and we see all the emotion in their faces and actions.

And so does Cersei.  When Jaime can no longer bring himself to attack Brienne, he steps back.  Not quite yielding but no longer in the fight.  Brienne hesitates.  You can tell she doesn’t want to kill or even maim him.  You know she’s remembering everything they’d been through until this moment.  His step back has her tilting her head in question.

Flash back to Cersei across the way.  Bronn has come to her side.  “Earn your castle,” she tells him.  “Kill them both.”  Jaime hears this and leaps to action, taking a bolt to the side (shades of when Cersei sent the man to kill Tyrion in Blackwater Bay).  Brienne launches toward Bronn but he knocks her across the face with his arm.  She stumbles and falls.  Bronn hovers above Jaime, who has eyes only for Brienne until Bronn says, “Let’s start with you.”

The crossbow aims at Jaime’s chest.  And then he turns and shoots Cersei in the leg.  At this point we’re all flipping our shits on our couches or whatever.  Bronn saunters up to Cersei who is screaming in equal parts pain and wrath.  Jaime is struggling to rise, horrified and shocked by what he’s seeing.  Bronn squats to look Cersei in the eye.  He’s behaving very unlike himself at this point.  Viewers might start to suspect something.

He stares at Cersei for a long moment before he starts to recite names.  Names that haven’t been crossed off an ever shortening list.  Cersei is mesmerized and confused.  Her name is last as Bronn pulls off his face and Arya Stark crouches before her (Bronn is dead because Arya is no fool).  “You should have never made light of Winter, Cersei Lannister,” she tells the now thoroughly cowed Queen.  “Winter is the season of wolves.”  She stands.  “But your name is no longer mine.”  She turns to Jaime.

Now here I would accept either of two outcomes.  Cersei defiant to the end in both, shaming him and Brienne and the Northern heathens he crawled to.  He would plead once more, if only for the sake of the baby, because the baby is as much him as it is her.  And she would sneer up into his face, laughing.  “There was never any baby.”

By now, a crowd has amassed, and much of the fighting is in the far background.  Jon has made his way to the circle.  As has Tyrion and Davos.  Jaime looks down at Cersei--hurt crossing his face.  Tears in his eyes.  And then anger comes.  His hand clenches and only hatred is in his eyes.  In this he either kills Cersei himself, quickly and cleanly, after telling her he stopped loving her long ago, before looking pointedly to Brienne.  “I was never yours,” he says to  Cersei, revealing his true motive.  Once she dies, the Lannister armies yield.

If Jaime cannot bring himself to land the killing blow, he passes her off to Jon and Sansa for official trial and execution.  In which Sansa watches one of her greatest tormentors beheaded, coming full circle to her father’s death.  End of episode.

Final Episode:

The Epilogue we all wanted.

I’m up for different outcomes here.  I always figured if we got any sort of happy ending it would be a non-mad Dany on the throne with or without Jon, but since we’ve gone the mad route for the sake of the bitter in bittersweet I’d accept the following options:

From Winterfell, the plans are made.

Jon on the Iron Throne, appointing Sansa Queen of the Independent North.  Davos as his hand and Tyrion as hers.  Arya as a roaming envoy between the two.  She’d find a good balance with Gendry and the hint of something more with him down the road.  Brienne would remain as Sansa’s head of the Queensguard, Jaime serving under her.  (In this episode we get their hook up but as something far sweeter than the drunken celebration one even though I can’t say I hated that version).  Bran remains in the North as well.  It’s been some time so clean up and rebuilding has commenced.

Alternatively, Jon acts to appoint Sansa to the Iron Throne, claiming that he is better off as Jon Snow, not Aegon Targaryen.  He’d be the Stark in Winterfell in that case.  Or else, they’d call for an end to seven kingdoms as a whole, and allow self governance of each kingdom.  If released from her service, Brienne returns to Tarth with Jaime and Pod.  Jaime divests himself of the Lannister name and tells Tyrion he can do whatever the fuck he wants with Casterly Rock--Jaime is a Tarth now.

The episode ends with the Stark children together on the battlements, prepared to go their separate if not permanent ways.  They’re all looking out over the grounds as life around the castle goes on.  Dogs bark and horses stamp their feet.  The blacksmith is working and children yelling.

“If Father and Mother could see us now,” Sansa says, wonderingly. 

Arya smiles softly.  “And Robb and Rickon.”

Jon nods, certain.  “They can.  They all can.”

It is quiet for a beat before one of them asks, “And what is to come now?”  In a tone that ponders their futures.  They turn and grin sheepishly at Bran, jokingly looking for his Sight.

He looks up at his siblings, and with a soft but true smile, he says quite simply: “Spring.”

#game of thrones #cersei lannister #got #daenerys targaryen #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #sansa stark #jon snow #bran stark #a song of ice and fire #asoiaf #mine #text

[makerkenzie]

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE...

Let’s just toss out the question of how much info D&D got from GRRM. Sure they knew more than we do about how ASOIAF ends, but they chose to shit all over it. I’m not even trying to predict what GRRM has in mind for his endgame. He may still be figuring it out himself! 

I’m just gonna start with what we had from GOT as of the Season 7 finale and go from there.

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, the White Walker threat would not have been taken care of in the first half of the season. It would not have been a simple matter of stabbing one bad guy with a fancy knife. Dany and Jon would have made more substantial contributions to getting rid of the WWs. 

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Dany’s going full-on Mad King’s Daughter would have been more about “there’s no way to help this country except to destroy it” and less “oh no my nephew won’t make out with me.”

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Jon’s death and resurrection would have meant something more substantial than a plot device to get him out of the Night’s Watch.

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, there would have been no Cleganebowl. Sandor would have stayed in the North with the Starks. He might have married Sansa, or just been a household (non-)knight. Sansa might have rewarded his service by naming him lord of Last Hearth or Bear Island. Point being he would have prioritized his own life over that bullshit revenge fantasy. At the very least he would have survived Cleganebowl and gotten on with his life. 

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Euron Greyjoy would have accomplished something a bit more interesting than shooting one dragon and then missing the last.

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Tyrion’s hard work would have achieved anything constructive at all. 

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Jaime and Brienne would have been together for more than a month. Jaime would have loved Brienne more than he hated himself. We would have seen more of them being together. Tyrion would have sprung Jaime from his prison tent and told him to get his ass back to Winterfell and beg his tall lady-knight’s forgiveness. 

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Arya would have gone nowhere near KL. She’d be with Gendry. There’s no reason why Gendry needs to be Lord of Storm’s End, but he and Arya should be together.

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, the process of ending the WW threat would have been more important than the process of fighting over who rules the Seven Kingdoms.

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, the ignition of the wildfire caches would have been USEFUL. Destructive, yes, but also contributing SOMETHING to saving Westeros from the Long Night. 

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Jaime would have gone nowhere near Cersei. Sorry, folks, I still maintain Jaime is not the Valonqar. I gotta admit, though, Jaime killing Cersei is no more thematically wrong than his choosing to die with her. If he must kill her, though, his doing so should actually prevent more death and destruction. If Jaime kills Cersei and then Dany still sets the city on fire? Pointless. If Jaime kills Cersei, her death prevents the city being destroyed, and he survives the process and goes back to Brienne? That’s okay. Overall, though, it’s really best for Jaime’s arc if he just doesn’t give a shit about what happens to Cersei. In order to kill her, he has to be in the room with her. Which is exactly what she wants. If he had to leave Brienne, he would have told her what he had in mind, he would have accomplished something that left Westeros better off than if he’d stayed at Winterfell, and he would have lived to go back to his life with Brienne. 

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Jaime and Brienne, together, would have contributed something more interesting to ending the White Walker threat than simply ending a bunch of Snow Zombies. Twin Valyrian steel swords should mean something. 

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Bran would have done something more useful and more interesting than to serve as bait for the Night King. His contribution to ending the White Walker threat would have been more significant than his figuring out Jon is Rhaegar’s son. 

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Missandei would have either lived longer or died with more dignity.

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Theon would not have died in Ep3, or if he did, his death would have done something more powerful than just buy Bran a little more time before Arya showed up. Theon’s arc would have been more about the balance of Greyjoy and Stark and less about sacrificing himself for the benefit of the Starks. 

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Jorah would have lived longer, or his death would have achieved something better than keeping Dany alive so she could set fire to the capital because her nephew wouldn’t make out with her.

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, there would have been some acknowledgment of how many Dothraki died in the first few minutes of the big battle, and what that means for Dany’s odds as a ruler. Although?

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, they would not have wasted a huge percentage of the Dothraki on a blind charge before they’ve even tried using the dragons. 

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Melisandre would have contributed more than just buying the alliance a tiny bit of time to catch their breath before the NK made hash of the fire-trench. 

IN A FINAL SEASON THAT MADE SENSE, Sansa would have waited more than 3 minutes before she was all like “HEY TYRION GUESS WHAT!” and then Tyrion would’ve waited more than 3 minutes before he was all like “HEY VARYS GUESS WHAT!” There should have been more of a struggle over spreading the news.

I’m sure I’ll think of more throughout the day. 

#no hope only spite #game of thrones jumped straight into the shark's mouth

[thorinkingoferebor]

okay, so here's the long ass rant that was promised. It's very much centered around Jaime and Brienne/Jaime because apart from Tyrion they're like the only reason I'm still invested (and this blog will stan book!Jaime to the bitter end) though don't expect any sort of Cersei bashing. Jaime/Cersei is complicated and boils down to more than "OMG SHE'S A TOXIC BITCH!!!" but more on that later. Obviously, there will be spoilers behind the cut and speculations regarding the rest of the show + a reference to a potential leak for ep 5 that's basically been going around since even before the show started so I don't know how big of a surprise that is to anyone.

Starting off with a couple of plot points:

The Funeral Scene Dany and Jorah were heartbreaking :( I loved those two together so much :( Jon's speech was fantastic but you know it would have been more moving if literally ANYONE apart from the people in the North + Cersei's gang had been aware of the danger heading their way. Like I bet you could talk to any peasant in King's Landing and they wouldn't even have a clue what White Walker means.

Gendry Baratheon of Storm's End & The Feast A++ scene, would watch again. Loved that Dany gave a shoutout to Arya and drunken Tyrion leaning on drunken Jaime warms my heart. Love my dysfunctional Lannisters. Also as much as I dislike certain aspects of the drinking game (see below) I appreciate Tyrion's match-making. He's a good bro. And seeing Brienne so relaxed with her friends is just... good stuff. Tormund is a cutie as always and Tyrion pouring him a drink after he realizes he has no chance with Brienne was the best. So was the Hound acting as Tormunds relationship counsellor. Poetic cinema. The token and conveniently available Northern women throwing themselves all over any male single character wasn't on the other hand. Loved that Sansa and Sandor finally got a scene together. Didn't love the 'glad I was raped so I could become the woman I am now' bullshit. Gendry is the fucking cutest! Smitten to the core. I am tentatively confident that he and Arya will work it out if they survive.

Tormund's & Sam's Goodbye Glad they got a goodbye with Jon, glad Tormund got Ghost cause Jon sure as hell doesn't deserve him. Like not even a pat. How the direwolves were treated pisses me off so much. At this point, I hope we'll never see them again just so they can be alive and happy wandering around with the best boi.

Missandei & Rhaegal No comment tbh. What's even the point anymore.

Onwards to relationships & characters:

The Starks & Dany I AM SO SICK OF THIS. SO SICK OF IT. Arya did not cut Littlefinger's scheming throat last season so that they can now scheme and bicker amongst themselves. Yes, Sansa has a right to worry about the North. Yes, Dany fucked up more than once since she came to Westeros. But those characters faced a tsunami of undead together and them still being too stubborn to even entertain working together without a hidden agenda to bring down Cersei is stupid and PLAIN BAD WRITING!     Now Tyrion is being dragged into this shitshow as well and I just... ugh Varys why

Dany Listen, I'm not the biggest Dany fan, far from it. But they're treating her like shit! She lost so much during that battle and there she is at the table watching others bond while she's alone. Like jfc Jon I'm not saying I approve of this whole thing but go hug her or something, she's given her all in the battle. Again I don't approve of most of the things she's done since coming to Westeros but can you imagine how isolating this experience must be. Apart from a select few survivors, everyone close to her for the past years is now back in the company of people they've known for far longer. They belong, they have bonds, friendships, loves, family and she's not part of it, has no place in this. She must feel so lonely right now. And instead of highlighting that (or btw dealing with the PTSD that everyone surely suffers from after that battle) they make her go all MAD QUEEN! Because that's how you write female characters isn't it. As soon as they show strong emotions due to trauma you can label them as crazy! jfc Then she loses another dragon, large parts of her fleet and Missandei. I honestly can only feel bad for her. And all that by the hand of fucking Euron the most annoying and flat villain out there. Honestly, at this point, I support "MadQueen!Dany". Just burn everything to the ground, preferably the entire show with the exception of Brienne being knighted.

Jaime & Tyrion Not much to say here except: I love them. I just want to watch them sit around in front of a fire and drink and tease each other for the rest of my life. I just love their sibling dynamic.

Jaime & Tyrion & Bronn I don't know really... usually I love those together but that scene was just... off? I don't know. So Bronn just rode North for a 3-minute talk and then he just... fucks off? (I mean I assume he doesn't, he will be around in some form but it just irks me. Inconsistent writing and people teleporting in and out of the plot.)

Euron & Cersei Yeah, I love watching Euron creep on Cersei. Totally cool. Not like this is what she wanted to escape since the very start. Yeah, it's cool.

Jaime & Brienne Oh boy.... ok, let's start with the stuff I liked

the two of them just enjoying each other's company during the feast and just smiling at each other so free of their usual burdens. seriously Brienne has smiled so many times over the past episodes (and she melts my heart every time she does. Gwen is stunning!). In case it wasn't obvious until now: I really hate so much about season 8 but the absolute avalanche of good Brienne/Jaime content in ep 2 and 3 will be cherished forever.

Jaime's character arc is putting up a good fight at the beginning coming to Brienne's defence when Tyrion asks about her virginity

Jaime was so freaking nervous when he showed up at Brienne's door and I'm so here for that. I'm also here for Brienne doing most of the undressing. Get it, Brienne, you deserve this. No seriously though it matters to me that she pushed his hand away and then started to undress herself. It was her choice. She wasn't passively just taking what he was offering. I appreciate that in a show that has a less than stellar record with consent.

and listen I'm so bitter about so many things but I can't help but love it. I just love those two so much and I will cling to that one moment of happiness.

now the stuff I didn’t like...

right, so this is just a pet peeve of mine but I HATE the whole 'sex jumpstarted by a never-have-i-ever drinking game'-trope. I just hate it. I don't know what it is about that but I just don't like it and whenever I come across it in a fanfic it just throws me off. Now this scene itself was cute, not denying that but I just hate that THAT's the thing that sets it all off. especially since there was no need? and I should know I've read like every Brienne/Jaime fanfic published in the last two weeks. making two people hook up after a battle should be the easiest thing but no they go for this mediocre modern college AU plot? (and I'm not joking, I've read a fic like that a year or so ago...)

I really dislike the fact that they focused on Brienne's virginity because it's not in character for her to be worried about that. Apart from the fact that she is unmarried and highborn and therefore unlikely to have slept with anyone in the first place Brienne has never been ashamed of that. She is ashamed of her looks and her mannerisms and she thinks no one will ever love her or desire her. That's her insecurity. Not the fact that she's a virgin. If that were the case she could have fixed that with Tormund ages ago. Brienne yearns for acceptance (she got that now thanks to the knighting) and love (which can come with sex but is not exclusively tied to it) not some hookup. Now Tyrion doesn't know that so I can kind of understand his line of thought and her reaction I just don't like that this again is what triggers the development of Brienne's and Jaime's relationship. She's not flawed because she's a virgin and he doesn't need to "fix that". What they do need to do instead is face their feelings, share them and if that then leads to sex, all the better but it's not the point! Brienne being loved is the point and I'd have rather had an "I love you" than 10 sex scenes.

Speaking of circumstances... I would have prefered them not to be drunk but I guess I can kind of accept it. Both of them are damaged and insecure and would probably doubt the other's intentions in their sober state. Still... would have been nicer (and at least they weren't like REALLY drunk... to the point where consent would have been debatable)

I am still a bit upset that we didn't get a scene between them talking through what's going on in their heads (e.g. a discussion of what Jaime will do now and what he meant when he didn't finish "I came to Winterfell because....") but then again both Brienne and Jaime have always been more about actions than words so I'll accept it.

Did not get a scene with Brienne taking his hand off and showing him acceptance  :/

Jaime

My first response to the episode was as you can guess very negative. Jaime's been my fave for a decade or so now and it's been beyond painful seeing his character development grind to a standstill for years on end. I was willing to forgive it though. I realize they needed someone to humanise Cersei and a screen partner for Lena that isn't a zombie or a creepy necromancer and when Jaime rode North at the end of S7 I thought: Ok here we go, we're finally back on track. Should have happened years ago during the siege of Riverun but at least it's happening at all. Then we get two episodes of Jaime distancing himself from Cersei and following Brienne around like a puppy. Quality material. Now though there are two options Either D&D decided to fuck him over and just obliterate 9 years of character growth for the sake of shock OR this is a very clumsy attempt at increasing the suspense and making people question whether Jaime is bad after all. Personally, I believe (and will always believe) option 2 BECAUSE THAT'S THE FUCKING BOOK CANON. Realistically though, I'm expecting option one.

Anyway, most of Jaime's scene can be interpreted one way or another and that's the only thing giving me hope here. For example

The sex scene with Brienne could just be him letting off steam, feeling alive after a battle etc and he doesn't truly desire and love her as much as he loves Cersei. BUT Jaime has never been about sex, Jaime has always been about love. Misguided and utterly toxic love from time to time but it's always been about love. He's had women throwing themselves at him left and right and yet he's always been faithful. Always true to Cersei. Why on Earth would he stop being faithful now? I believe sex and love are 100% intertwined for Jaime and he will not have sex with anyone he does not fully love. I always believed Jaime would have to put his relationship with Cersei behind him for anything to happen between him and Brienne (which is why I was so happy they didn't immediately kiss in ep 2). Whether that's the way the show sees it is another question...

When Jaime watched Brienne sleep afterwards that again can be read as regret or him thinking of Cersei and feeling guilty, wondering what he's done.  I'd like to think instead that he's really wrestling with his own demons here (and that btw is why I would have rather had a scene with them having a heart to heart and fucking sorting this shit out once and for all). First of all: Jaime hates himself and I'm 100% sure he doesn't think he deserves Brienne. I think he feels guilty for not being able to keep his distance. I think he's aware that he's still on thin ice both with the Starks and Dany but also with Cersei. A lot of people would rather see him dead. What would that mean for Brienne's reputation? And what would happen if Cersei found out about this? So I'd like to think he's realized that he's involving her in something very dangerous that could leave her dead or emotionally damaged. (And btw why would he be planning and discussing their future with Tyrion later when he's already considering Cersei straight after sex? He would have put a stop to it because again love > sex for Jaime).

I don't know how Jaime staying in Winterfell would make any sense if he was still madly in love with Cersei. And I'm not saying this through my Brienne/Jaime googles. This is completely independent of Brienne. He knows they will go to war against Cersei. He's not part of the war council because obviously they don't trust him and maybe he also doesn't want to be directly involved in the killing of his own blood. No matter what she will do, no matter how much he will fall out of love with her she is still family, still his blood and there will always be a part of Jaime that loves his family and his blood no matter what they do (see Tywin, see Tyrion). Him jumping at the chance to kill Cersei would be out of character regardless of whether he now loves Brienne or not. In any case, Jaime knows what's coming, has no illusions there so if he's truly still bound to Cersei why not leave then. It's been days? I really can't explain this one if the writers go with option 1.

now about the scene with Sansa and Brienne. Could be that he is worried about Cersei and it's only now sinking in that she will die. Could be that Sansa's snide comment triggered something in him. Buuuuuut he does not look happy when he learns about Cersei's success. He looks worried, he looks like he didn't expect that. I'm not saying he's not shook by Sansa's comment. As I said I believe he will never truly not care about Cersei, she has made him who he was, she has been the focus of his life for so many years, you can't just forget that. But there is a difference between him losing it and doing a 180 because he still wants Cersei and him feeling conflicted because he knows what Cersei is and what needs to be done but that doesn't erase their history.

and then finally the goodbye scene. Again this could be in line with option 1, in fact it seems very much in line with it. I'm not saying it's not. But there are signs that it might not be. Like "Have you ever run away from a fight?" for example. Cause that's what he's been doing! He stayed behind in Winterfell because leaving would have meant fighting on one side or the other. He was trying to avoid that I think. And I also think he's now realised he can't. I think he didn't expect Cersei to kill a dragon or capture someone close to Dany. I think he thought it would be easier to take her down but apparently, it's not and I think he's worried now. Worried that Cersei will win and what that will mean for everyone he loves (Tyrion, Brienne). He probably decided that he's got the best chance of finishing this or at least contributing to the end. He might have realized that they do not have the luxury of keeping him out of it. Then Brienne brings her hands to his face and starts to beg and you know what he does? HE NODS TO HIMSELF. You know when Jaime usually nods to himself??? When he realizes how good, and pure, and honourable and true Brienne is. When he realizes he will have to stop her from giving too much because of that (e.g. when she tries to give Oathkeeper back. He does this little nod that says "of course she would do this" and then he has to tell her to keep it!). I honestly think this is him going "right, of course, she would do this. Of course, it's not going to be that easy. Time to bring out the big guns." He then goes on to confess all of his bad deeds and yeah again this could be option 1. Him driving home how much he loves her and not Brienne. But honestly, does it seem like that? He's not gloating, he's not admitting to this easily (the way he used to when Cat had him). To me, it looks like he has to force himself to do this because he hopes that will convince her to a) let him go and b) not follow him. I think he's trying to cut ties because he doesn't want her with him for what he's about to do. I think he's trying to make her hate him because he doesn't expect to come back and he thinks this way will be easier on her. This is Jaime's version of throwing stones at Nymeria. And as much as I try and read this any other way I just can't.  Nevertheless, he made my girl cry and boy that's testing the limits of my love for him^^

What I think should (and could) now happen: I think it would make perfect sense for Jaime to go South on his own, infiltrate the capital, get to Cersei and play some part in her demise. I can even see them dying together as suggested by (unconfirmed) leaks but I doubt it will be in the spirit of  “We came into this world together, we'll leave it together”. If they die together, I think it's more likely that he will stay with her because of the love he still feels for her even though that love is nothing compared to what it used to be. Looking at the episode I feel like this would make so much sense and most importantly it would not butcher his arc.

What I suspect will happen instead: I'm bitter and sad and based on the crap D&D have done to Jaime and others in past seasons, based on this constant need for cruelty and shocking twists I fully expect them to go with option 1. They've had this hard-on for Cersei/Jaime since forever and even though that relationship is way past its expiration date they keep shoving it into our faces. I hate this for many reasons, especially for nullifying Jaime's arc, for turning Brienne into I don't even know what, his rebound I guess. I'm willing to forgive them much but not this. I'm okay with my faves being killed off but not if everything they have become through trauma and hardship is erased within 5 minutes. And the thought that this could very well be the last scene between Brienne and Jaime and that Brienne is either right to believe that Jaime has left her or might never know his true intentions if he does switch but dies beside Cersei is too much. I want to believe guys but I'm so bitter and I don't trust them with Jaime and I do not want to get my hopes up just to be utterly disappointed. So yeah, this is what I'm preparing myself for.

So to summarize: It was not as bad as it could have been and I do think the hate is a bit much but that always happens when you get incomplete spoilers and have HOURS to freak out and hate it even before it starts but jfc they still fucked up. Character assassinations left and right, bad writing and plot holes (Euron anyone???), unnecessary drama and the usual mix of racism and misogyny. In any case, I want to end on a positive note here, so let me just point out the ONLY things I will take away from this episode:

Brienne being beyond precious!

Jaime is GONE, my friends. GONE! (seriously though through the entire thing they kept stealing glances and it's so obvious Jaime talked to her about his family. We missed so much of their relationship in season 4  :( )

Probably not what I'm supposed to be focusing on but that entire scene just screams domestic old married couple. I'm a big fan of Jaime showing weakness in front of her and Brienne accepting and helping without a second thought.

I can't get over how much THEY TOUCH each other. It's been years with nothing but his hand on hers when she was going for the knife and now they're all over each other. And the best thing about it: It's so natural. It's so new but they act as if they've been doing this for years! No hesitation, no doubt and Brienne accepting that she’s allowed to do this now, that he wants it :) (also look at thiiiiiis)

#text posts by thea #thea watches got #jaime lannister #braime #got spoilers #pairing: brienne x jaime #c: jaime lannister #tv: game of thrones.

[cchellacat]

Game of Thrones Finale

Here be spoilers for the last season of GoT.  Turn back now or forever hold you peace.  Trust me, I am not holding my peace, I feel like going to war and breaking a bloody wheel over the back of D&D’s heads.

I knew going in, this wasn’t the ending I had been hoping for, or even expecting for nine years.  After the penultimate episode the writing was clearly on the wall, so I watched this final chapter, ready for crushing disappointment and grief. D&D did not let me down. 

They completed their character assassination of Daenerys with all the clumsy, lazy, pretension and dreadfully written dialogue as one might have come to expect, if they had been paying attention since the start of the season. 

When left to flounder in the seas of uncertainty without the masterfully crafted scaffolding of GRRM’s books to hold them afloat, the writers sunk the whole thing gleefully. I’m absolutely certain they took great pleasure in destroying every logical expectation.

This constant need to justify their own twisted ending and eradicate certain characters development and arcs, left me feeling bewildered and horrified.  The beautiful woven foreshadowing that had been building since season one seemed to be cast aside at the last and replaced with some Frankenstein monster, cobbled together from a need to be “different”  to ��surprise”, to be “edgy”  and “subversive”.  

This isn’t how good writing is done.  You don’t change the track of a story just because it’s deemed predictable or because fans guessed the ending. 

The onus then, is on the writer, to follow through and complete the story while still making it enjoyable and intriguing.  It isn’t to upturn the apple-cart and refill with limes.  It’s to take the damn apples and make pie.  Make it interesting, draw the audience in, there is nothing wrong with giving the audience what they want. There is nothing wrong with delivering a satisfying and sensible conclusion.  There is nothing wrong with giving the main character/s a happy ending.

Their fear of cliche, lead them straight into trope hell.  The “face heel turn” of Daenerys from Liberator and Mother to Tyrant and Murderer was sloppy, poorly written and did not have a justifiable history to back it up. 

Do not even get me started on how they killed her.  JFC.  Could they have been anymore obvious about how that was gong to go down?  Talk about cliche. 

Murdered by the man she loves, who loves her and who is also her only family.  We’ll talk later about what they did to poor Jon.  Just for reminders sake though, here she is, held in the arms of the man she loves as he promises her she will always be his queen, kisses her and stabs her right in the heart.  **blood boiling**

Turing Sansa into Littlefinger 2.0 made my inner rage monster scream.  Her transformation from  the “The High Queen”  to “The Chess-master” makes me think the North isn’t in any better hands than it would have been with Littlefinger in charge.  How convenient that none of her siblings will be nearby to notice.  Bran in the south, Jon in the True North and for some inexplicable reason, the girl who spent eight season finding her way home, decides to go gallivanting off into the west on some LotR, knock off elf quest. 

Arya’s end is as unsatisfying as every other one.   She spent years growing stronger, learning to kill, striving to be No-one.  Her whole character arc was about her coming to terms with her loss and recognising that no matter how far she ran, she would always be Arya Stark. 

Then is was her journey home, learning that she could go back, that even changed by war and blood, family meant everything.  Her clarion call, that the “lone wolf dies but the pack survives” has been with her every step.  It’s the message her father taught her, one she held too.  Why on earth would she leave her pack behind? 

What even was the point of having her and Gendry meet again and come together if she was just going to walk away?  I’m not saying a character has to be defined by a romantic relationship, but why bother giving the fans a few crumbs just to spit on it an episode later?  This is clearly baiting of the worst kind.  I’d rather they met as friends and parted as friends than the shit show of having Gendry propose, only for her turn him down.  I mean, she could have learned another lesson with the Hound, that defining your life by revenge and forgetting to live only ends in death.  Her returning to Gendry after that would have made sense.  It would have made sense for her to go build a pack of her own.  But no, that would be too easy.  What shall we do with Arya?  Lets put her on a bus!

He did love her.  Jon was crazy about Dany.  She was crazy about him.  This is the man who puts family first, who lives by his honour.  He is his Uncle Ned come again.  Ned, who lived and died by his oaths.  The only time he broke them was to protect his sisters son, to protect Jon, his family. 

This is why they had to destroy Daenery’s character so completely.  They had to make her the worst villain imaginable to make it look even remotely plausible that Jon would;

1. Break his oath of fealty

2. Murder his own blood.

3. Betray the love of his life.

They had to preserve Jon’s good name, oh yes, because Jon wouldn’t kill her for power or because she lost her temper and disagreed with him.  No.  They destroyed both Jon and Dany with this plot. 

Jon is now Queen Slayer and Kin Slayer and he has broken his word, his oaths of loyalty, his unspoken oaths of love and protection, which she rightly expected from him as her blood and her lover and has been reduced to a shadow of the man he was meant to be, the king he could have been. 

He is cursed by the gods in the eyes of most Westerosi, or he would be if they knew the truth.  After all, look at how the nobility treated Jaimie after he killed the Mad King.  It didn’t matter to them that the King was evil, no, what mattered was that he broke his oath.

Oath breakers are anathema in Westeros. 

So much for a Targaryen Restoration.  Goodbye Iron Throne.  The whole point of Jon’s character was just erased.  Did he defeat some great evil?  No.  Did he overcome war and death and end triumphant on the throne as the last dragon?  No.  There was no point in bringing him back after his death in season six.  Anyone could have went to bargain with Dany and the outcome would have been the same.  Ugh!

Jaime and Brienne.  The love story/redemption arc I was so invested in.  One hand gives and the other takes away.  In the end it seems that Jaime learned nothing, according to the writers that is.  I call bullshit.  Jaime had redeemed himself.  If he had to die, it should have bee while killing Cersei.  The foreshadowing of him being Cersei’s death has been around for years. Cersi didn’t love Jaime, she loved controlling him.  Cersei loved no one but herself.  That was the lesson Jaime was meant to learn.  Thanks so much for taking away eight season of character development and self realisation.

Tyrion got shafted too.  His speech near the end, it was a load of cow dung.  In the end they left Tyrion to be Westeros’ own comic relief.  The Small Council was a bloody farce.  All that scene did was reinforce my belief that nothing in Westeros has really changed.  It doesn’t matter what title you give someone, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.  Give it ten years and Bron will be the power in Westeros in all but name. 

Now who have I forgotten?  Ah yes.  My Special Mention.

Sandor went out the way he meant to, bringing an end to his brother.  But not before the writers gave him a brief moment with Sansa.  There you go Sansan fans, he called her little bird!  Now shut up and let us kill him in a fiery fall of doom. 

Death by fire, the worst death they could give this man.  He wasn’t a good man, it’s arguable that none of the characters were good people.  However, Sandor Clegane suffered more than most.  He spent his life, angry and bitter, seeking revenge for himself and his sister and father.  I think, if they had to kill him, they could have given the man a better exit than him tossing both himself and his brother into the flames.  It was cruel to make that the only way out, the only triumph he could claim.  I think Sandor should have lived.  He deserved to find a life of peace after all the fighting he did.   It is not poetic or clever to kill a character off with the object of their own fear.  It’s not clever when they do it to a villain, it’s doubly unfair to do it to a hero.  He was a hero by the end.  Sandor deserved better.

Now look, I‘m not saying that in a show like this, that everybody should live or necessarily get the end they deserve, but, they went too far in the name of shock value, leaving no one happy, well, virtually no one. I guess the rabid Sansa fans who loathed Dany are feeling pretty good about now. 

(Yes, okay that was mean, but I got sick of seeing it in my timeline and unfollowed a few people.) 

I was always very much of the belief that Sansa and Dany had more in common than would drive them apart.  I didn’t expect an easy friendship or alliance, but I did expect them to find common ground and be able to build a relationship over time.  Strong women supporting each other is what we need more of on TV.  Not this misogynistic desire to see two strong women fight over a man, which is essentially what they reduced Sansa and Dany too with poor Jon caught in the middle.  

In conclusion...

I feel as though the writers went into season eight with a clear idea of where they had been building and then someone get a bee in their bonnet and posed the question, “Who is the least likely to end up ruling Westeros?”

The answer of course is Bran.  Bran the Broken, how fucking ignorant is that?  How about Bran the Burdened or Bran the Broker or Bran the Benevolent, if you’ve really got such a hard on for alliteration?

So now Bran, who is so disconnected from feeling that he can’t love anyone, sits the Iron Throne and is somehow meant to be a good ruler. 

All that’s needed to achieve this happy ending for the writers?

Goodbye Character development and epic love stories, hello smear campaign, death, destruction and the end of one of my favourite canon ships to ever sail.

Rest in Peace Jonarys.  I believed in you. 

#game of thrones spoilers #got season eight #spoilers #the writers can go fuck themselves #i am spitting mad right now #some people move on but not us #endgame killed me too #they're out to get me #it's a conspiracy #jon snow #daenerys targaryen #sansa stark #arya stark #gendry baratheon #sandor clegane #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #tyrion lannister #bran stark #the ending they deserve #was murdered at the last #long post. #very long post #i'm bitter #why shouldn't i be #burn them all

[thebluelemontree]

I really wanted to do a S8:E1 reaction earlier this week, but I just did not have the time due to work.  Anyway, this is only a brief summary of what I had intended.    

All I can say is I didn’t hate it or love it.  The weak points I found to be pretty typical and expected of D&D at this point.  I liked Arya and Gendry a lot, of course.  That was adorable and refreshing.  I love how Arya got all cute and teenage girl with him, but also confidently sashayed out the door.  Didn’t hate the Arya and Sandor reunion.  I will say I didn’t find it that surprising there wasn’t a Sansan reunion considering how the latter went.  Sandor was clearly not seeking out a reunion with anyone and seemed to be laying low in the smithy.  He knew Arya wasn’t there and didn’t seek her out.  I found their meeting to be more of grudging respect rather than a renewal of a bond.  And I didn’t find Sansa not seeing him from the battlements all that weird considering the scale of Winterfell’s layout and the size the procession.  Her focus was logically more on Jon and Danaerys at that moment.   Not surprised in the least about the first words out of Sandor’s mouth.  No apparent reason for them either that makes any sense except that D&D just like to showcase Rory McCann swearing.  Sigh.  Whatever.

And I was wrong.  We didn’t open with a dumb, drawn-out dick joke.  It was a joke about balls.  Or lack of balls.    

Didn’t hate the Tyrion and Sansa reunion either.  I took her apology as “I’m sorry about what happened to you personally, but I’m not sorry I took my shot to escape or that my abuser was killed.  Anyway, it wasn’t a picnic for me afterward either, and we’re both survivors, so that’s all that matters.”  It sort of parallels Arya’s reunion with Sandor.  And Tyrion while having some hurt about being left to face trial doesn’t seem to blame her for any of that that at all, which is good.  I hope that Sansa’s words sink in with him that he really should not be placing his faith in Cersei’s word.  I’m not even going to touch that whole subplot with a ten-foot pole.  I don’t have the energy for it.

“Glad” the Stark sisters got past that point where they were seriously contemplating having to murder each other (haha!) and now are loving, supportive sisters again.  <shrug> I’ll take what I can get.  I knew it was going to be very rushed anyway.  Actually glad that Arya told Jon that they’re not going to bond over shitting on Sansa.  I would like to be shown how smart Sansa is with the decisions she makes that prove to be smart more than I want to be told by Arya how smart she is, but okay, we’ll just go with that.  It was off-putting how Arya ended that scene by being really creepy and ominous with the “remember that.”  Doesn’t make sense why she would take that tone with her beloved brother except that D&D just like to showcase Maisie Williams doing her “cold murder baby” schtick.  That’s all the reason needed.  

I definitely do not have the energy for any Sansa versus Dany debate.  I cannot express in words how I so DO NOT CARE to have any discussion concerning this.  They are both right about some things, but not 100% right about everything.  THEY WILL COME TO AN UNDERSTANDING BEFORE LONG because that’s the whole point of uniting against a common enemy.  Davos told Dany you have to earn Northern loyalty.  Well gee, I wonder what Dany is probably going to do then?  Maybe something that earns the loyalty of the Northerners, but that will be a shocking plot twist for some people in the fandom, I guess.  Their conflict is understandable and generally could be considered decent, nuanced drama with less stereotypical female cattiness in the execution by the writers.  

The acting highlight for me was John Bradley and NCW.  The latter looked so small and vulnerable seeing Bran waiting there.  The complete opposite of his initial entry into Winterfell at the beginning.  He even looks like a Northerner with his more grizzled beard and dark brown hair.  Speaking of Bran, yeah he’s creepy.  I actually don’t have a problem with magical people being a bit creepy.  Magic is this uncanny, unknowable force and I would expect muggles to find magical people a bit disturbing.  Melisandre is also quite terrifying in that way.  But it was stated last season to Meera Reed (IIRC) and then again this season.  Bran Stark is dead.  There is only this omniscient bird-being in Bran’s body.  When he says he’s waiting for an old friend, it makes sense because Jaime pushing Bran out the window allowed BR his opportunity to open Bran’s third eye, which is fitting with BR’s utilitarian characterization.  I just wish “Bran” wasn’t used so much as an exposition machine, google search, and CCTV system.  If he doesn’t do something really cool with his powers though, I’m going to be pissed.  At any rate, Jaime will no doubt be pardoned in episode 2 and will probably learn what purpose “Bran” has for him.  Really looking forward to the Braime reunion.    

Also, Bronn is finally given something character building to do.  Better late than never, I guess.  Not going to be surprising at all when he admits he’s fonder of those Lannister bros than gold.  Aw.                     

#got spoilers #got criticism #got season 8 #got season 8 episode 1 #game of thrones

[actual-disaster-bi]

Okay so its taken me a while to write this because im still not happy with this episode but heres thoughts for The Bells.

So I liked the before bit with the different voices playing while Dany was on screen, that was well done and helped add a not of insight to her character.

Varys was so soft with the child and for some reason I didn't expect that? But his conversation with Jon didn't surprise me, I've been conflicted about Varys but I think he is a good man with good intentions even if he does bad things.

I was not prepared for seeing Dany like that but damn that was tense, I won't forget that half smile when Tyrion said that Sansa trusts him. Dany needs to stop taking this out on Tyrion, he really is trying his best.

I knew Varys was going to die and I did suspect it would be by Dany, I'm still kinda sad to see him go which is surprising. He deserved a better goodbye than that from Tyrion but Dany was watching so I understand why he did that. Not gonna lie that was pretty asthetic to see Drogon shadowed behind Dany like that.

I'm glad Dany acknowledged Missandei and Greyworm's relationship and that she offered him Missandei's last possetion. I don't think Jon meant what he said about loving her, I think he was just saying what he thought would make her happy, like he has throughout this season. Ano she says let it be fear but I can't accept that she planned on killing innocents and she was willing to destory everyone.

Tyrion only wants to save people and it hurts me to see him begging for other poeple's lives, I think it was during this scene that Dany and Greyworm make an agreement to ignore the bells. Neither of them care about Tyrions pleas and they are both greiving Missandei so they are wanting revenge.

I am surprised that Tyrion trusted Davos enough to ask him to help him but Davos is a good man and Tyrion must know this.

I love Arya and The Hound just showing up and stating exactly what they plan on doing and just walking right by. Best duo on that show and you can't change my mind.

One of the things this episode got right was Tyrion and Jaime and damn that got me, I've always loved their dynamic and their goodbye was so heartfelt and emotional. They truely care about each other and Tyrion trusts him but damn ano Tyrion was done bad things but he is willing to give up his life for others and that says so much about him. The whole scene was great apart from Jaime saying he doesnt care about innocents, thats not Jaime Lannister and I'm so angry about D&D destroying his character arc and making him run back to Cersei.

Dany finally destroyed the Scorpions like she should have in the last episode, go her. I really thought the Golden Company would play a bigger role than that okay i guess. Also I thought theres was a lot less Dothraki than that after the BoW?

"The red keep had never fallen" you sure about that Cersei?

I knew that the Lannister Army would surrender but I didnt expect it to be that quickly.

Okay so the fuck happened with Dany? I get that she snapped but the was heading to the Red Keep then suddenly changed and started killing innocents? Nah mate I don't buy it, Dany would never do that. If she burned the Red Keep and took some innocents down with Cersei I'd understand that but not this. The first people she goes for isn't even the soilders but innocents who are just trying to get out of the way. No I don't agree with this at all and D&D ruined her just for shock value. Also if Cersei didn't stay and watch Dany would've gave her tones of time to escape so whats the point in Dany buying Cersei more time?

I didn't expect Greyworm to do that.. Ano he's greiving but Missandei would never have wanted that an surely he knows that.

Well at least Jon has been brought to his senses and realised he cant just blindly follow Dany. It took a genoside for him to see that tho.

Jaime and Euron fighting wasn't what I was wanting either, I really wanted Yara to be the one that killed him but it was still a decent fight scene I suppose. Euron really is on messed up fucker, hes dying and all he says is he killed Jaime?

Arya and The Hound. I cant. He gave her permission to live, he cares about her so much and wants her to live, to do better than him. He saved her because she wasn't going to save herself. And she realises this and THANKS HIM. God I love these two so much and she honestly needed him to say to her that she was allowed to let go of her hate and want something more.

Cersei just sneaking by The Hound will never not be funny. It was like trying to walk by two of your friends when they're fighting without getting dragged into it.

Cleganebowl finally happened and man The Mountain is a hideous fucker. That was never a fair fight but Sandor fought so well but it wasnt nice to watch The Mountain poke his eyes out. He died in fire, I'm not happy about that. I knew he was gonna die but I kinda hoped he wouldn't. I'm really gonna miss him cos he was one of my favourite characters but at least he done what he wanted to do.

I refused to believe that Jaime went back to save Cersei after all the shit she put him though. Also "you're hurt" and "you're bleeding" Seriously? You just sent a fucking assassion to kill him a few episodes ago so why do you care now if he's hurt.

I hate seeing Arya so scared and watching her trying to save people just for them to die hurt me. I don't understand people who say she has no feelings, this season alone has gave us more scenes of her showing feeling than any other. Also the crossover between her and The Hound was so well done, it shows how alike the characters. The amount of times I was scared she died was fucking annoying, if D&D killed her off I honestly think I'd kill them off (although depending on how the last episode goes I might anyways).

Im not accepting that as Jaime and Cerseis death. There was no closure about Cersei, she needed to be killed by someone who had history with her like one of the Lannister brothers or Sansa. It was too peaceful and comforting for her to die.

My poor girl.. Just leave her the fuck alone she's been though enough and seeing her like that killed me. She better be riding to Gendry and accepting his proposal or I will not be happy. She can live now, The Hound has given her the chance to so she better not waste it by continuing to push people away but I can't see that being the case.

So overall I'm not too happy with that episode, they've ruined some of my favourite characters and have put this in a direction I don't like, I guess we shall see how the last episode goes but I'm not too hopeful.

#got spoilers #game of thrones #arya stark #jaime lannister #jon snow #sandor clegane #the hound #cersei lannister #the mountian #daenerys targaryen #tyrion lannister #greyworm #lord varys #davos seaworth

[dork-empress]

Game of Thrones Season 7 Predictions

I'm on set and I'm bored so here, predictions I have for game of thrones season 7. I'll put why I feel like something's going to happen if there's something specific, but mostly it'll just be that it feels right. 

 The bulk of the season, I think, will be in 2 storylines, with smaller storylines filtered in. Then,1 other story and 2-4 wildcard stories in other places. 

Plot 1: the south--the war of the queens aka a song of fire. 

Dany has come to siege kings landing with her dragons. A lot of this story involves Tyrion and Jaime trying to outthink the others battle strategy. Now, kings landing is built to withstand a siege, but Tyrion’s been on the other side before, so he knows. 

 However, cersei doesn't have her reasonable people around her to stop her doing some pretty messed up shit, like closing the doors on the common folk (and she doesn't take precautions like bronn and tyrion did so they're kinda....fucked) and of course, using wyldfire and whatever nightmares qyburn can cook up...it'll be bloody. Jaime will try and stop her from doing the REALLY messed up shit as much as he can but...cersei has no fucks to give. 

On the other side of the war, I kinda want dany to be trying to help the citizens of kings landing as she goes. Also, I kinda want tyrion to ride rhaegal, but that might be too much to ask 

This will conclude with the penultimate episode where we'll mirror the end of the Targaryen rule. Cersei's about to pull a Hail Mary, something so messed up it'll pretty much nuke kings landing, maybe with her in it cause who gives a fuck. She also orders Jaime to go out and kill Tyrion (just like Aerys ordered Jaime to kill Tywin) before she goes off with Qyburn to nuke shit. Jaime will kill Qyburn, then kill cersei, and finally kill himself because killing the love of his life is too much to bear. In the process of all this the iron throne and the main hall might get kinda blown up. In the final episode, we'll have Dany in control of kings landing. Yayyyyy.

Characters involved: Dany, Tyrion, Missendei, Grey Worm, Varys, Theon, Yara, Olenna, Sand Snakes, Ellaria Sand, Cersei, Qyburn, Jaime, The Mountain. 

I'll be surprised if they live: Cersei, Jaime, Qyburn, The Mountain 

I'll be surprised if they die: Dany, Tyrion, any of the dragons 

Plot 2: the north--winter has come aka a song of ice 

While Jon’s dicking around taking control of the north, he comes to a scary conclusion: those dead south of the wall (who haven't been burned) are starting to come to life as ice zombies. Now, white walkers still can't pass through the wall, but Jon and his people better get to making some bonfires FAST. Cause like...all the people who died in the various battles up north are now fair game (including stannis.) 

Part of what makes me think this is that the whole reason melisandre backed Stannis is that she saw he had a part to play in the coming war, but she never actually saw which side he was on. Considering his living status, I'm prone to thinking the dead side. 

 Also, because there aren't any more main characters left there, I think all the nights watch are going to get wiped out, leaving the wall undefended. Oops. 

Meanwhile Petyr’s going to be spending his time trying to manipulate Sansa to betray her brother. However, Petyr’s laid out his cards to Sansa, directly telling her "I want to be king and have you as my queen." So, Sansa is actually manipulating HIM and manages to steal all his spies to her side (working through Brienne who is devoted to her). The absolute cherry on top is if she manages to learn about her warging powers (in the books, all the stark kids are wargs, but only Bran was trained.) and literally pecks Petyr to death with 'little birds.' Again might be too much to ask for. 

 Season finale, the wall is destroyed. More on that in a minute. 

Characters: Jon, Sansa, Petyr, Lyanna, Brienne, Podrick, Robin, Dolorous Edd. 

I'll be surprised if they live: Petyr, Dolorous Edd 

I'll be surprised if they die: Jon, Sansa, Lyanna 

 Now for smaller plots, going from most to least certainty

 Plot 3: oldtown--a song of history 

Samwell tarly will learn the ways of becoming a maester, but while there learn a dark secret. I'm not sure what it'll necessarily be, but I'm hoping we'll learn the answers to various mysteries, including: what happened to magic in the world before the dragons brought it back; what happened to Valyria; why was there dragon glass at the fist of the first men; what is the faceless men's agenda (in the books, the character known as Jacqen Hagar was also in oldtown, so I think we'll see him again; what was Jacqen doing that ended up with him in a cage on the way to the wall when Arya met him; what's the deal with Qyburn; what's the deal with Illyrio and Varys? That one could be a long shot; why the maesters are so out of touch and; what will the order of maesters even do now that SO MANY maesters are dead. 

In the end, I think something down there is going to be responsible for the wall coming down. Oops. 

Characters: Sam, gilly, baby Sam, Jacqen, maesters 

Any of them could die, but I hope Sam gilly and baby Sam will be okay. 

 Plot 4: a song of stone 

Jorah’s our first wildcard, in that I'm not certain where exactly he'll go. Something will prompt jorah into coming to westerns and, whoops, accidentally spreading greyscale to plague level proportions. I think this because Jorah has kinda taken the role of a character in the books, Jon Connington, and he's in Westeros with greyscale, so, Jorah will probably come too. 

This could intermix with either plot 1 or 2, killing off tons of people in kings Landing, or killing more people in the north who'll become ice zombies. My first thought was that actually greyscale would be responsible for taking down the nights watch, since Jorah’s Dad was lord commander he might go there, but who knows.

Characters: Jorah. It could go either way, but I'm voting closer to death. 

Plot 5: a song of vengeance 

As much as I'd love her to go north, I think Arya will go south and maybe intermix with plot 1. However, she might get caught up with another wildcard, I'll get to that in a minute. She might even meet up with her wolf she sent away, but I doubt it for the show. 

If she DOES go to kings landing, she'll be able to finish off her list, killing off Ilyn Payne or the mountain, hopefully at a crucial moment. 

 Characters arya. I expect she'll live. 

Plot 6: a song of brotherhood 

 Sandor Clegane’s still hanging out with the brotherhood without banners. So...I guess that's a thing. Might meet up with Arya. Might go down to Kings Landing, and kill his brother more permanently. This ones a big vague blur. 

He and all the brotherhood could go either way on the death thing. 

Plot 7: a song of the old gods 

Bran stark is basically going to become the old gods. Maybe not this season, though. He's probably going to have to deal with some of plot 2s shenanigans, but mostly dealing with more cool visions, maybe learning about stuff that Sam doesn't get to find out. A part of me wants him to meet up with Jon, but that could cause problems, given as Ned Stark’s only living son, he's technically heir. So....that's awkward. 

I do think he'll look back and accidentally be the one to drive the mad king mad. (Aerys was still a shit person who deserved to die). The reason I think this is Aerys last words were "burn them all." If Bran does the thing with him that he did with Hodor, while dealing with ice zombies, that might be a thing Aerys would be saying. 

Characters: Bran, Meera. I don't think brans gonna die, but if he does, he won't be "gone" necessarily. 

Plot 8: a song of the new god 

Melisandre A's been having kind of a crisis of faith, so I'm hoping we'll get to see her going through that. Hopefully she'll see things aren't so black and white. She could easily meet up with several of the wild cards, like, she told arya she'd meet her again...she could spend some time with thoros of myr in the brotherhood...she might even figure out the cure to greyscale with her fire and try to make up for the evil she's done (cough cough, shireen, cough), though it'll still kill tons of people. No idea if she'll live or not. So yeah. This got longer than I thought. 

In closing, characters I have no idea if they'll even be a part of things, but I'm inclined to think no??? Gendry, Daario...yeah, that's it. I suppose Gendry could be a part of King’s Landing tearing themselves apart.

Think they can fit all that in 7 episodes?

#game of thrones #laura stark #got7

[alliluyevas]

@goodnightgoodnight asked: Stannis, Sansa, and Sandor

STANNIS

First impression: okay so the first chapter of A Clash Of Kings was the first part of ASOIAF that I read, it was a friend’s copy that she was reading and I picked it up when she didn’t have it and I just got sucked into it…the prologue with Cressen and Mel and Davos and the relationship between the Baratheon brothers and STANNIS everything about Stannis as a character and the whole situation was incredibly compelling to me. So I finished that chapter which was like a whole saga in of itself and then my friend wanted her book back and about a year later I started watching the show and then I read the books and the rest is history.

Impression now: my grumpy and melancholic son and still the best king Westeros has available

Favorite moment: honestly like any moment when he shows emotional vulnerability I instantly start crying…when he’s angsting over Renly giving him a peach…

Idea for a story: any Stannis + Shireen interaction

Unpopular opinion: Stannis is the best option for king and a deserving person and deeply sympathetic character

Favorite relationship: Stannis and his brothers or Stannis and Davos depending on what sort of pain I’m looking for…bittersweet heavy on the bitter or the sweet

Favorite headcanon: autistic Stannis ftw (and autistic     Shireen!!)

SANSA

 First impression: she’s so pretty lmao…and then instantly feeling for her as a Vulnerable And Traumatized Girl

Impression now: my love…the most wonderful…also honestly if I had to place a bet she’s the character I’d bet money on surviving the series I just KNOW thematically and spiritually that she will

Favorite moment: when she comforts the other women during the siege of Kings’ Landing honestly like even though she’s so tired and scared she PULLS IT TOGETHER TO HELP EVERYONE ELSE SHE IS TRULY THE BEST…an icon

Idea for a story: Sansa and Sandor and Jaime and Brienne all interacting…my faves…and so much potential

Unpopular opinion: Sansa is wonderful and deserves all the good things

Favorite relationship: hehe SanSan

Favorite headcanon: Sansa is also bi tbh

SANDOR

First impression: I honestly didn’t think much of him until his Horrible Childhood Trauma Backstory and his relationship with Sansa started to develop and then I mcfreaking lost it

Impression now: my large and emotional son, he’s trying his best

Favorite moment: when he tells Sansa about what Gregor did to him and he opens up to her and she shows compassion and love to him even though he scared her previously…I die one thousand times…also on a side note FUCK the show for giving Sandor’s Traumatic Background Reveal to Littlefinger it cheapened it SO much WHY would y’all not let him tell his own story it was such a powerful moment between him and Sansa

Idea for a story: anything with teenage immediately post-rebellion Jaime and Sandor interacting

 Unpopular opinion: I think it’s kind of disrespectful for people (in the fandom) to call him “The Hound” all the time like…it’s not as bad as when people call Tyrion the Imp but it’s still kind of a pet peeve…it’s like, totally disregarding the impact of his story and that he has a name and isn’t an animal (even though he loves animals). Also I feel like people give him a lot of shit for saying that Bran would be better off dead after his accident and I think that’s coming from internalized ableism and self-loathing more than anything, like people hold him and Jaime almost equally accountable for saying that and their context is completely different.

Favorite relationship: Take A Wild Guess

Favorite headcanon: Sandor has never been kissed

[janiedean]

PLEASE tell me about sam >> the world and the rock band au.

OKAY SO:

 sam >>> the world was... originally a thing I wrote for an exchange which then I scrapped bc it got too long and I never finished it, but basically the concept was jon gets robb’s will before he’s elected LC and he accepts being kitn except he goes to sam like PLEASE SAM BE MY HAND OR I CAN’T DO THIS, and then sam was going to proceed on solving Each Single Problem Jon Could Have starting from being friends with theon to finding sansa in the vale to finding arya and sandor to basically really solving everything and it was gonna be jon/sam but eeeeh I quit when sandor showed up bc I lost track of the plot T_T HOWEVER, I WOULD LIKE TO FIND AND QUOTE YOU A BIT WHERE BASICALLY SAM DRAGGED THEON WITH HIM TO THE VALE BC HE WAS SURE THEY’D KILL HIM OTHERWISE WHERE THEON RECOGNIZED SANSA AND TOLD SAM IT WAS HER WHICH IS2G WHEN DND HAD THE SAME THING HAPPEN WITH POD AND BRIENNE IN S5 I SCREAMED BECAUSE I WROTE THIS SHIT IN 2013 OR 2014 AND I SAID WHAT I SAID

“Go, go,” Baelish says, and he looks pale as a sheet as well. At least he didn’t have anything witty to say, Sam thinks before grabbing Theon’s arm and leading him outside the room.

“Stop,” Theon tells him a moment later. “I don’t – I just need some air. I don’t think – I won’t.”

“All right,” Sam agrees before leading him towards a half-open window in the hallway.

“I’m sorry,” he says as Theon takes deep, heavy breaths.

“For what?”

“I didn’t even – how did you know?”

“Don’t you think that Ramsay Bolton would have spared me the details?” Theon whispers. “I threw up. Then. And he – he also threw at me handfuls of red hair covered in blood. I told you I could play along.”

Sam thinks that he’s going to be sick.

“But – I need you to listen to me,” Theon whispers then, his voice still shaking, as if he’s forcing himself to say what he’s about to say.

“What?”

“The Lord Protector’s daughter.”

“Yes, what about her?”

“That’s no bastard. She’s Sansa Stark.”

For a moment, Sam is sure he’s heard wrong.

“She’s who?”

“Sansa. She dyed her hair and she’s older than – well, the last time I saw her, but I lived at Winterfell for nine years. Do you think I wouldn’t recognize her?”

And it does make sense. Sansa disappeared from King’s Landing when Baelish went to the Vale, didn’t she? Sam is pretty sure of that.

“And – you saw her when I was telling that story. She looked sick. As much as I felt.”

Oh gods be good. He’s right. Sam wonders how a simple mission suddenly turned out complicated – and if Theon hadn’t been there he wouldn’t have even known, would he?

He thinks about his options.

And then he hopes that he still has some courage left and that he hadn’t exhausted it when he killed an Other.

“All right,” he whispers. “I have no idea of why she’s here, but if she wants to come with… do you think you have it in yourself to go down the mountain twice in one day?”

Theon goes pale all over again. Sam had noticed that he could barely keep his eyes open the first time.

“What’s the plan?” he asks.

“I’m asking her. If it’s true, and if she’s here against her will… well, I already know I’m not getting Baelish’s men. And I’m sure that if I came back with his sister Jon – I mean –”

“You don’t need to call him His Grace,” Theon says, and he sounds almost amused. Barely. As much as someone like him can sound amused. “I couldn’t call Robb like that either.”

“Fine. Jon would like that better than an army, I think. So, do you think you can do it?”

Theon shakes his head again and then looks up at him. “I don’t think that I’d ever want to do it again, but just the fact that you asked first makes me think that I can try it.”

Well then, Sam thinks, that’s settled.

like excuse me but what the fuck

rock band au: okay so I had written this rock band au for jonc/brynden for that last prompt meme I took which I should finish one of these days but like then I was doing this chalenge and I ended up writing a sequel for it where they’re touring with theon who’s like the opening solo act for their band and him and jaime argue in the changing room also theon is with robb who’s the long suffering agent and theon wants jaime to hit on brienne who’s like going to all the concerts and it’s actually finished but I really need to revise it and see if I can put it together with the other one, at the end of it theon and robb had a moment™ backstage while jaime and brienne got together post-concert but here have a snipped or more:

“You know that girl that always is in first row, Lannister?”

“I do, Greyjoy. I very well damn do, and is there a reason you’re gloating at me now?”

“Just saying,” Theon says, and Jaime thinks, don’t finish that sentence, don’t finish that sentence, don't finish that sentence, “that while the time for groupies is over, I mean, supposedly so, considering that you invite her backstage every other moment and that she’s been at each single show of this tour, maybe you could invite her.”

“Can it,” Jaime groans, “no way. I’m not —”

“And why not? Come on, I’ve opened for your band for the entire last month, we drove through half of this bloody fucking country and I know for sure that you’re the only person in it that’s not getting any, and seeing your pretty face, it’s honestly baffling.”

“And since when do you care about how much I’m getting? Are you volunteering?”

Theon laughs, dark hair falling all over his shoulders as he fixes his leather trousers in front of their shared changing room — yes, this venue is so shitty that they have to share rooms in between bands, and fine, Theon’s technically a solo act but he does have a band, and he hopes the others are not being too cramped because their room is so small they can’t even change at the same time. He nods, pleased with his hair, definitely, and then goes to grab a black shirt from his bag and puts it on without closing it. Guess this is the night where he plays with his shirt open making sure his poor manager dies of frustration.

Robb Stark is a saint, Jaime thinks sometimes, because to manage this guy, you really need to have an insane amount of patience.

Good thing that they never needed one and Jon always took care of it, but still.

“I mean,” Theon says, “in the ideal world, I would, but alas, I know that it’s not meant to be. For one, I’m not your Kinsey scale one —”

“How the fuck do you know that?”

“What, that you’re a one or that I’m not it?”

“Both, for —”

“I mean,” Theon goes on, “you obviously aren’t a zero or you wouldn’t stare at your bassist’s ass, and honestly also at your guitarist’s, and I wouldn’t exclude, you know, that you three might have had a go at it at some point —”

“That never happened!” Jaime protests, not that he hasn’t entertained that thought once or twice, but still, he doesn’t bat for that team, as a general rule. He just hates that Theon has apparently figured him out that easily.

“Regardless,” Theon goes on, “you’re a one, but if those two are your type, considering they’re both older than you and ginger and blue eyed and I’m not either of that, I think I’m not it. Also, no way you like pitching.”

+ throbb snippet

“So,” Theon says, as he drags Robb towards the back exit, “I might have told Lannister that I’d leave him the changing room for the night.”

“… What,” Robb says, following even if he’s trying to slow him down, “he finally decided to fess up to that poor girl?”

“Oh, that’s to be seen, I just gave him the chance to,” Theon shrugs, “which is why we’re taking a cab and going to the hotel at once.”

“Wait,” Robb says, “we should —”

He never finishes the sentence because Theon presses him against the wall and kisses him and fucking hell, Robb would like to just give in and let him and actually he would like to grab Theon’s shoulders and press him against the fucking wall, except —

“We should wait until the Kingsguard is done,” he breathes, “you agreed to sign those records, but it has to be with them. And people paid for it.”

“Oh, of course, ever the correct person —”

“Theon, I’m your fucking manager, you picked me, it’s not like you can exactly skirt around — obligations,” he groans when Theon sucks a bruise into his neck.

“Right, right, so you’d rather stay here and wait two hours instead of running to the hotel with me? We could make it, you know, if Jimmy Page and Robert Plant could —”

“It’s not the fucking seventies,” Robb groans, wishing Theon would just not press, even if fuck but now he really feels like he’s going to come in his trousers like a fifteen year-old and the fact that he’s definitely been wanting to kiss Theon at least since then is not helping, and yet —

“Really? I missed that memo.”

+ jb snippet

“Sure,” she says, reaching out to grab it, and then she swallows — “You know,” she said, “you sounded… more intense today.”

“Did I,” he says. “How?”

She shrugs, her large shoulders barely slimmed by the black band shirt sporting his face that she’s wearing, and fuck if it was weird being the face of the merchandise, except that it had to happen.

Fucking Targaryen.

“I’m not quite sure,” she says, “just… there was a difference? In the good sense, though. You felt… more immersed, not to say that you’re not usually, it’s just… I don’t know, I felt like crying more than once.”

Oh.

Well.

“Maybe,” he sighs, “I had a conversation with Greyjoy before that made me realize a few things,” he goes on. “I suppose. I don’t know,” he shakes his head, “I just… you’ve been listening to us since before Rhaegar fucked off, and I just — I guess it just sank in that I’m not going back to my former job anytime soon.”

“Can — can I say I’m not sad that you aren’t?”

“You can,” Jaime shrugs, “it’s just, it felt a bit too much. I never signed up for that.”

“But you sing those songs a lot better than he did.”

“Not the first person that told me that, today.”

“But it’s true. He just — he was good. But you just have a whole other delivery.” She blushes, guileless blue eyes staring into his, and he thinks of how she told him that his songs made her survive high school and some kind of ridiculous bet her supposed friends made about her fucking v-card and he just — fuck. She’s so nice. She’s the kind of nice person you wouldn’t presume listens to his fucked up lyrics, and yet.

And yet she does.

#throbb #jaime x brienne #sam tarly #theon greyjoy #wip meme #haljathefangirlcat #ask post

[kateofthecanals]

For The (Not)Watch: Episode 7.4

The Reason HBO Can’t Afford Direwolves Anymore

So this week wasn’t quite AS boring as last week, but that’s not saying much. I almost had an emotion or two. ALMOST...

We open on something other than Dragonstone for a change -- in the Reach(?) and on the Westerosi Wells Fargo Wagon, which Jaime is once-overing, while Bronn hangs out in the background demanding Jaime give him Highgarden, but Biggie Lannister is like “nah, mo’ money, mo’ problems!” Bronn’s not buying that line, though, and feels he should be on the list of debts the Lannisters pay off. He also makes some snarky remarks about Cersei which are actually 100% accurate but of course Jaime, like GoT watchers, is blissfully blind to the truth. Jaime then sends Bronn with the Tarlys to go shake-down local farmers for their sweet, sweet grains.

Then we head over to King’s Landing, where Tycho is hella impressed that Pinhead Cersei will be able to pay off her debts in one lump sum but is kinda bummed to be losing out on that tasty monthly APR. Cersei hints that Qyburn is in negotiations with the Golden Company to join her cause and Tycho vouches for them... but reminds Cersei that the Iron Bank ain’t doing shit until Jaime makes that big deposit.

Next we hit up Winterfell, AND WHO THE HELL LEFT THE KIDS ALONE WITH LITTLEFINGER?? Somehow that snake slithered his way into Bran’s chambers and is attempting some kinda cringeworthy heart-to-heart... Seriously I half-expected him to tell Bran “I’M YOUR DADDY NOW.” Instead he decides to give Bran a gift -- the Valyrian steel dagger that was used to try to murder him in Season 1. Bran’s like... “Thanks?” (But really, isn’t this kinda payback for last week when he threw Sandra’s wedding night back in her face?) LF starts monologuing about Catelyn, and Bran asks if LF knows who the dagger belonged to (I’m guessing just to test LF, because obviously Miss Cleo is gonna know exactly who it belonged to... right??), and of course LF is like “No idea!” Then he randomly mentions the word “chaos” and Bran’s creep-dar goes off, and he interrupts him by saying “CHAOS IS A LADDAH.” Yes, folks, Bran threw LF’s dumbest catchphrase back in his face and it was played off like a genuinely weighty moment and not something that required a laugh track in the background. LF has barely time to react before Meera comes in. LF leaves, and Meera makes the sad announcement that she has to leave to be with her family, and Bran’s just like “Cool, bye then.” And Meera’s like... “bitch that all you have to say to me????” And Bran’s just like “uhhhh thank you for your service?” Meera then be thinking hmmm maybe this is just like a teen comedy and he’ll come wheelin’ after me at the airport at the last minute to profess his love for me? But nah, Bran’s straight-up fixing to ghost her ass, smh. She’s like “my brother, your wolf, and Hodor all died for you, Bran!!” But he’s like

And because D&D would rather leave significant character development off-screen, they have Meera assure us that Bran “died in that cave.” Cool, thanks, good to know!

Meera leaves, and then Bran hears the familiar strings of the Stark Theme, and he knows that Arya is near! Yes, Arya has finally found her way back to Winterfell. She strolls up to the front gates and is immediately given a hard time by the guards in a blatant repeat of the same scene from Season 1 (not the first or last time we will be seeing rip-offs from the first couple of seasons just in this episode alone). One of the guards even tries to PUNCH her (???) before agreeing to left her in but telling her wait while they decide what to tell Sansa. And since WF is being guarded by 2 of the 3 Stooges, Arya is able to just wander off without them noticing.

The guards then enter what appears to be the Bat Cave where Sandra is hiding out and has pretty much no visible reaction to hearing that Arya is in the house. Which is funny because Arya implied to the guards that Sandra would have their asses if she found out they’d turned her sister away. Instead, she just kinda looks bored and is like, “whatever, I know where she is...”

We then go down to the crypts for one of the most-anticipated reunions in ASOIAF-dom!!! Buuuut this is GoT, so it’s all very awkward and forced. Like, seriously, Arya, you’re not fooling anyone...

Sandra runs up to hug her, but just like with Small Wonder Bran, Arya-Bot 1000 barely registers an emotion or even bothers to hug her back. WTF, people???

They briefly have a moment in front of Ned’s statue, which was kinda nice. I mean, they didn’t even call him stupid or anything!! The lowest of low-hanging fruit, but I’ll take it at this point... Then Arya says it doesn’t look enough like Ned and that it should have been carved by someone who knew his face, but Sandra says that everyone who knew his face is dead. Ummmm? Sandra, Arya, Bran, Jon, Cersei, Varys, Sandor, Jaime, Littlefinger, Beric, Thoros... that’s almost a dozen people right there who are still alive that knew what Ned looked like (though I can’t vouch for their stone-carving skills...). Then, as usual, the moment is completely trampled on when the two sisters bond over how they both wished they had killed Joffrey themselves HAHAHAHAHA so sweet. Then Arya tells Sandra about her List, and Sandra’s just like

They make vague allusions to all the things they’ve been through since their separation. They then venture the godswood to say howdy to Bran, who is a party-pooper as usual, calling out Arya on her plan to go to KL to kill Cersei. Sandra asks Arya who else is on her list... SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO BRING UP SANDOR BUT NOOOOOPE CAN’T HAVE ANY DISCUSSION ABOUT THE HOUND WITH OR IN FRONT OF SANDRA EVEN IF IT’S ARYA DOING THE DISCUSSIN’ so she’s just like “eh most of them are already dead.” Then out of nowhere Bran’s just like “check out this new toy Littlefinger gave me” and Sandra’s like “WHY IS LITTLEFINGER GIVING YOU WEAPONS” Bran’s like “doesn’t matter, don’t want it anyway” and gives it to Arya.

The three Starks then make their way back into the the yard, where Brienne and Pod see them, and Pod says, “Good job, m’lady!” and she responds pretty much the same way I did -- “I didn’t do shit.”

Then we hit up Dragonstone, where the Jonerys train is being happily conducted by Missandei and Davos. Both give their respective masters a forced series of “nudge-nudge-wink-wink” moments with regards to the other, so as to to remind the viewers that THIS IS TOTALLY A THING, YOU GUYS. Dany and Missy are taking a stroll, and when they see Jon, they exchange a look like two freshmen girls who have just been acknowledged by the varsity QB on the quad. It’s quite pitiful.

Anyway, Jon takes Dany into one of the dragonglass caves to show her something. Sadly, he keeps his pants on and instead ducks into a tunnel which opens up into another cave with a bunch of primitive drawings on the walls. Indiana Snow then schools Dany on how they were drawn by the Children of the Forest and depict their encounters with both the First Men and the white walkers.

P.S. the CoF totally phoned it in on the FM but got all HR Giger when it came to the WWs.

And even though Jon could have drawn those pictures himself and made up literally everything he said for all Dany knew, she considers this definitive proof of his claims and immediately agrees to help him... if he bends the knee. There’s a lot of whisper-talking and long-held gazes, which I think was supposed to be “sexual tension”.

They exit the cave with their chaperones, where they find Tyrion and Varys waiting for them, looking rather glum. Tyrion drops the bad news that although they took Casterly Rock, the Lannister forces took Highgarden and all the spoils. Tyrion tries to rally, but Dany reams him out for fucking up and suggests he did it on purpose cuz he’s really still loyal to the Lannisters (OH DUHHHHH). She then declares “enough with the clever plans” and decides instead to stick to more stupid ones I guess. To that end, she asks Jon what she should do.

Your QUEEN, ladies and gents. Has no idea what she’s doing and constantly has to ask the (much smarter) men around her to tell her what to do. But the mere fact that she is “in charge” is I guess enough for most people to declare this “feminist”. Sure, okay.

Anyway, Jon tells her that if she uses her dragons to annihilate everyone, she’s just “more of the same” and isn’t giving her followers anything better to hope for. Which is a fair enough assessment but we all know it’s being used to highlight Jon’s “dumb” honor and compassion because DRAGONS SO EPICCCCCC!!!

Back at Winterfell, Brienne is again cleaning Pod’s clock (remember when this kid killed a Kingsguard in the middle of the Battle of the Blackwater? D&D don’t either I guess), but then Arya rolls up on her with Needle and says she wants to throw down with the person who beat the Hound. Brienne’s like “haha cute” but then Arya pulls out all the water-dancing nonsense and completely flummoxes Brienne.

So, for those doing the math:

Brienne beat The Hound; Arya beat Brienne; ergo, ARYA CAN BEAT THE HOUND.

I really wanted to enjoy this scene, but I couldn’t forget that the last time we saw Arya actually spar with anyone was in Season 1 with Syrio. Now all of a sudden she’s the most formidable warrior in the Seven Kingdoms. 

Any-freaking-way, Sandra appears on her perch again (with LF not far behind, of course), and at first she seems pretty impressed with Arya’s skillz, but when it’s over, she just, like, storms off in a huff? Why??

She leaves LF to have a weird stare-down with Arya.

Back on Dragonstone, it’s now Davos’s turn to tease Jon about Dany, implying that Jon was staring at her rack apparently?? Jon’s like “ain’t nobody got time for that” but luckily they run into Missandei where Davos can continue on that train of thought. They then have a conversation about how bastard names work on Westeros (in Season 7?????) and Missandei declares that marriage isn’t a thing in Naath, and Dirty Ol’ Man Davos is like HAHAHAHA not where I come from either, wanna go grab a drink later?? Jon and Davos then start questioning why Missandei is so loyal to Dany, and Missandei begins to talk about Dany like Squeaky Fromme talking about Charles Manson.

^^ waiting for this dialogue to pop out of Dany’s mouth at some point this season...

Davos is basically like SORRY I ASKED. Just then, they’re interrupted by a dingy being pulled up on shore (somehow they didn’t notice this until the were RIGHT on the beach) containing Theon and the straggler Ironborn. Theon sees Jon and is like like “hey sup” and Jon’s all YOUSONOFABITCH!!! but stops just short of roughing him up because of what he did for Sandra. He then tells him that Euron has his sister and he needs Dany’s help to get her back, but Jon says she’s not home right now...

Where could she beeeeeee?? Welp, we hop back over the the Lannister wagon train, which, again, Jaime and Bronn are just sitting and watching. Apparently they are much closer the the Crownlands (or in the Crownlands?) than they had been at the beginning of the episode... They then decide to have some not-so-subtle small talk with Dickon Tarly, whom Jaime again calls Rickon, about how he fought pretty decently at Highharden but how he has yet to be really tested. THEN GUESS WHAT HAPPENS, GUYS??? The show is interrupted by a screening of Dances with Wolves--no, wait, that’s just the Dothraki streaming over the hill to fuck shit up... along with Dany riding Drogon.

COMMENCE BATTLE #371 TO DISTRACT THE VIEWERS FROM THE SHITTY WRITING!!!

Yes, it’s all very exciting and well-executed, if you ignore:

The Dothraki would have had to circumvent KL somehow to get there.

They couldn’t have gone by ship because Euron destroyed Dany’s fleet.

Horse-Surfing™

The scene was 90% about Bronn?? For some reason??

Dany, who not 10 minutes ago was complaining about not being able to feed her army, proceeds to destroy all the gold and grain the Lannisters were hauling.

Gratuitous horse violence because “edgy” I guess

WHY/HOW IS TYRION THERE?

So the big climax comes when Bronn gets promoted from Bronn of the Blackwater to Bronn of the Big-Ass Crossbow. Yes, in yet another ham-fisted callback to an early season, Bronn figures out how to use the giant ballista and fires an arrow straight into Drogon’s shoulder, forcing Dany to land. While she’s down, Tyrion is standing off to the side and spots Jaime on the battlefield and is mumbling for him to get the fuck out of there. But this is Jaime Fookin’ Lannister, he doesn’t run away from anything, especially his toxic co-dependent relationship with his twin sister!! So he grabs a spear and begins to charge toward Dany like he at the Hand’s Tourney (except we never actually saw him joust at the Hand’s Tourney, so once again, emotional impact of this moment is M.I.A.). Just as he’s about to strike, Drogon turns and is about to make him dragon kibble when he is rescued at the last second by, presumably, Bronn, and is swept away beneath an extremely deep puddle that just happened to be nearby. The End.

I know there are a lot of show-critics today who are super hyped about this battle (which is apparently a “reference” to the Field of Fire, ugh), but guys... sorry, no. I am way past the point where a showy battle scene is going to make up for all the nonsense that came before it. They’ve tried this trick already -- it was called “Hardhome”. It didn’t work on me then, and it won’t work on me now. I would have rather seen a more meaningful reunion between the Stark sisters than another expensive spectacle. If this is why the direwolves have disappeared, then sorry, I don’t consider it a fair trade-off.

#got #got shit #got spoilers #got season 7 #got episode 7.4 #jaime lannister #bronn #dickon tarly #cersei lannister #tycho nestoris #bran stark #littlefinger #arya stark #meera reed #sandra bolton #brienne of tarth #podrick payne #jon snow #daenerys targaryen #missandei #davos seaworth #tyrion lannister #varys #theon greyjoy #drogon