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#ALSO DOES NOT ESCAPE MY NOTICE
adhdo5 · 2 years
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The Tosh/Nova “choice” is literally so stupid. Are you genuinely asking me if I want to side with the literal hand of the government that wants us both dead because I fear the risk of letting out a bunch of psychic murderers. IN WINGS OF FUCKING LIBERTY, NO LESS. “Oooh they might kill people and have scary psychic powers” NOVA YOU ARE LITERALLY A GHOST. IF YOU WANT TO SEE A SCARY PSYCHIC MURDERER LOOK IN THE MIRROR. “THEY MIGHT KILL PEOPLE” AND MENGSK’S GOVERNMENT WON’T? EMPOWERING MENGSK’S GOVERNMENT IS NOT EMPOWERING THE MURDER MACHINE??? THE GOVERNMENT THAT CAME TO POWER BY WIPING OUT A PLANET BY SICCING A HORRIFIC ALIEN ARMY ON IT (WHICH WOULD LIKELY ALSO PROVOKE A SECOND HORRIFIC ALIEN ARMY INTO SHOWING UP TO GLASS ANY POSSIBLE SURVIVORS OF THIS APOCALYPSE)???? THE GOVERNMENT THAT HAS A PSYCHIC ASSASSIN TALKING TO ME RIGHT NOW????? DON’T MAKE ME FUCKING LAUGH (AND SHE’S BEING FUCJED UP AND ABLEIST ABOUT IT TOO IN A CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF “THE WRITERS TRY TO DEMONIZE A MENTALLY ILL CHARACTER BUT THEY ACCIDENTALLY MAKE THEM A CHARACTER THAT I WOULD KILL AND DIE FOR AND BE IN THEIR CORNER LIKE A MFER BECAUSE THEY’RE LITERALLY BEING VICTIMIZED BY THEIR OWN WRITERS LIKE LITERALLY THE FASTEST WAY TO MAKE ME GO FROM 0 TO “I WOULD BURN DOWN THE WORLD FOR YOU”) 
AND THIS IS AGAINST TOSH. TOSH WHO HAS BEEN ACTING SHADY AND MILDLY INVASIVE AT WORST. TOSH WHO HAS BEEN FAIR TO YOU AND HAS NOT LIED TO YOU THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME. TOSH WHO HAS KEPT HIS WORD AND HAS SHARED HIS CONCERNS. LIKE LITERALLY HIS GREATEST CRIME IN TERMS OF YOUR ALLIANCE WITH HIM IS TO KEEP SOME INFO FROM YOU AND TO ACT WEIRD. AND THE REASONING IS THAT TOSH AND HIS BESTIES ARE DISTURBED AND VOLATILE??? AFTER THE FACT THAT HALF MY UNITS ARE EXPLICITLY STATED TO BE DISTURBED AND VOLATILE CRIMINALS???? THE FACT THAT TYCHUS WHO IS EXPLICITLY MY ALLY IS A DISTURBED AND VOLATILE CRIMINAL AND NARRATIVELY HE ENDS UP BEING BAD BECAUSE HE IS WORKING FOR, YOU GUESSED IT, MENGSK AND HIS GOVERNMENT????? AND WITH, IN MIND, THE FACT THAT THE ENTIRE PLOT OF STARCRAFT II REVOLVES AROUND SARAH KERRIGAN, WHO IS ALSO A GHOST WHO IS EXTREMELY DISTURBED FROM A COMBINATION OF HER TRAUMA AS A GHOST AND THE ENSUING TRAUNA OF HER PHYSIOLOGICAL AND PSIONIC AUGMENTATION (just done with Zerg rather than drugs), AND AS A RESULT MURDERS LITERAL MILLIONS IF NOT BILLIONS OF PEOPLE, GETTING NOT JUST A REDEMPTION ARC BUT LITERALLY BECOMING GOD????? THESE ARE THE NARRATIVE PRECEDENTS WE HAVE SET LIKE. EVEN IF (BIG FUCKING IF!!!!!) NOVA IS TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT THEIR MURDER CAPABILITIES IT IS ABSOLUTELY LAUGHABLE TO DITCH ALL THE SPECTRES FULLY BECAUSE OF THEM WHEN DISTURBED TRAUMATIZED MURDERERS ARE LIKE HALF THE TERRAN ARMY FORCE AND ALSO ARE THE OTHER MAIN TERRAN CHARACTER LIKE WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. 
LIKE ON EVERY LEVEL – MORAL, EFFECTIVELY POLITICAL, NARRATIVE, CHARACTER CONSISTENCY – SIDING WITH TOSH IS OBJECTIVELY CORRECT. THIS IS A TEST AND IF YOU THINK SIDING WITH NOVA IS AN EVEN REMOTELY ACCEPTABLE OPTION YOU’VE FAILED (Blizzard, unsurprisingly, fails of course. This entire rant about how it should be obvious is not me saying it’s good it’s me saying I think Blizzard is fucking stupid for writing this and thinking they did something about complicated morality)
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miragemirrors · 4 months
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if we could stop "wow this animal that defies the sex binary is so transgender! *continues to evade acknowledging the animal is intersex*" that'd be great
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One specific thing I'm thinking about Lieutenant Edward Little today concerns his relationship with Hickey.
I cannot for the life of me find it now but I'm sure I've seen a post here detailing the full depth of the "A full court-martial is technically required..." line in Episode Four. How there's a lot more to it than meets the eye and is Little really trying very hard to curb Crozier's worst urges, trying to insist on a controlled, by-the-book approach to punishment rather than an abusive, bloody, psychologically-tortuous one.
And if that is indeed the case then that's very interesting to me as it's not the only time Little speaks somewhat in Hickey's defence.
I'm thinking of his asking "What is our evidence against him?" at Terror Camp, of how he's very much right to do so because at that point, he's not been given any information to confirm Hickey's guilt other than Crozier's word (although of course, proper evidence is produced right afterwards).
He's seen Crozier come down on Hickey before with every awful, savage, psycho-sexual thing he's got so it makes perfect sense that Little would try to get out in front of that in any way he can, to prevent at best further cruelty and at worst, further violent injustice.
I don't really have a point to be honest - it's just an interesting little parallel that makes me read those scenes just that wee bit differently now.
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fluffs-n-stuffs · 6 months
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More Pokémon Horizons Episode 25 spoilers under the cut!
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As much as I laughed from how this played out like an unintentionally comedic moment---can I mention how much this actually does to separate Amethio from the rest of the Explorers; how he's actually honorable and respects Friede as a rival of sorts?
The rest of the Explorers tend to use underhanded tricks to get what they want (Spinel brainwashing Liko and attempting to wipe her memory, Onyx and Sango trying to overwhelm the others against direct orders whilst causing the destruction of everything else around them), but Amethio has been unique in how he's regarded as 'by the books' (by Friede) and constantly tries to be on equal footing with his opponent- even if it means putting himself at the disadvantage when he has more resources to utilize.
He could've very easily overwhelmed Friede by having both of his mons attack at once (given how Captain Pikachu hadn't arrived yet)---and yet he- doesn't. Which is just so interesting to me as he's meant to have a similar goal as the rest of the Explorers (which is to retrieve the pendant/Terapagos by any means necessary).
So in this case, was it really a matter of defeating Friede so that he could easily confront Liko afterwards,,, or,,,,, was he trying to prove himself somehow? 👀✨✨✨
#fluff binges !!!#adding my spoiler tag for the tags here as well delelelewhooooooooooooppppppppp------------------------------------------------------------#AMETHIO MY BELOVED...........................#THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE THERE. SOMETHING ELSE HE'S TRYING TO ACHIEVE THROUGH HIS INSISTENCE ON BATTING FAIRLY#it's such an interesting detail to notice because he's actively Trying to make it fair for everyone involved#earlier in the season he Did snatch Sprigatito- though that was mainly to lure the RVTs to his location for a proper confrontation#he really didn't have any interest in taking Liko's mon for himself (and even judged Onia when she treated it as her own akjsdjkasds)#not to mention it doesn't seem like he's on good terms with the rest of the Explorers either- him butting heads with Spinel previously and-#--calling Onyx and Sango as “troublemakers”#ALSO ALSO NOTICE HOW HE DOESN'T GO FOR FRIEDE'S THROAT WHEN THEY BOTH DODGE OUT OF THE WAY WHEN THE TOWER FELL#ANDDDD AND THE WAY THEY B O T H MANAGED TO ESCAPE GALARIAN MOLTRES BACK IN THE MINES IN SPITE OF THEM BEING TOGETHER?#THERE'S.......... A MUTUAL RESPECT IN PLAY HERE.......................#LIKE HE'S SO OOGUGHGGHNGGHNG PICKING HIM UP AND RATTLING HIM WILDLY IN MY HANDS LIKE A FIDGET TOY#I WANT TO UNDERSTAND YOU MOREEEEEEE YOU'RE SO INTRIGUING AND ANGSTYYYYY WHAT ARE YOU HIDINGGGGGGGGG#ARE YOU JUST LONELY DO YOU WANT FRIENDS DO YOU WANT VALIDATION THE RTVS CAN GIVE THAT TO YOU YOU MUST OPEN YOUR HEART /J /J /LH#no but fr though I laughed harder at this moment than I probably should've#it's so funny how he just . does that so casually like “hold on let me switch” SKJDHFNSJDNFJKSND#amethio#explorer amethio#amethio pokemon#pokemon horizons#anipoke#pokeani
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Can you try saying something nice about your team? (Or just anyone in general)
Push him(¿?
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majorxmaggiexboy · 1 year
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me when it’s time for cough syrup 
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yamikawas · 2 years
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thinking abt my gf doing cute things like being obsessed with me and stalking me and kidnapping me and killing anyone who gets too close to me etc The usual<3
#wish she would just invite me over to her house and i find a room with a whole shrine for me with photos of me and stolen items and all#and she notices me looking and panics thinking that im gonna be freaked out but im just like UR SO OBSESSED WITH ME OMG IM SO HAPPYYY<3<3<3#maybe she would want to keep me locked up in her room until shes absolutely sure that im happy with it<3<3<3ehehe<3<3<3#hell even when she Is sure shes like ''well if u love my obsession with u so much then theres just no reason to let u go now is there<3''#so she just holds me captive and obsesses over me for the rest of eternity and starts adding my missing posters to her shrine<3<3<3#but also yknow if shes stalking me constantly and knows everything abt me she would know abt my yanblog and know im just as deranged as her#.............but she can still kidnap me just bc she wants to and knows i want her to<3<3<3#god i hope she knows i how badly i want her to<3<3<3#id absolutely stab someone to death if it meant she would never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER LET ME GO#and if she does ever let me go im stabbing people to death until im back at her side where i belong#and if she ever wants to go out like on a date with me or something she should keep me handcuffed to her and it should be late at night so#no one sees us and if anyone Does see us we kill them and we break in to cafes and stuff for an insane lil cafe date<3#god i am just.thinking So Much#shes just Everything to me i want to stay with her forever and ever and ever and itd make me so happy if she wanted me to stay with her#forever too to the point that she wants to hold me captive bc she just loves me so much#like just the idea of her wanting to be with me at all times So Badly to the point that she wants to straight up kidnap me and never let me#out of her sight again<3<3<3aaaaaaaaaaaa id never want to escape from herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr<3<3<3#idk how to even explain it i just.Need to be Loved and Wanted and Needed an Insane Amout#by Her in Specific<3#i just love her and want her and need her an insane amount and i need her to love me in just the same way<3#yoomie darling if ur reading this i love you i love you i love you i love you i LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I L O V E Y O U#please love me<3#tobi.txt#<-really normal sorry ipromise
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i’ve been sleeping upstairs in a spare room while at my parents because my mom is using my old room for Dog Children™️ and i decided to brave sleeping in there one (1) time so that my dog could sleep with me and one of the children almost ESCAPED outside of their little prison and now i have to stay up to make sure no one else tries it smh
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many-gay-magpies · 2 months
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while im already on the train of teen wolf thoughts, i might as well say that i do not get sterek. romantically anyway. that ship is so intensely POPULAR and ive been seeing stuff about it for literal years, way before i ever even considered watching teen wolf or really knew what it was. pretty much every teen wolf fic i see on ao3 has some manner of sterek in it unless i SPECIFICALLY search for something else, like its just a given part of fanon, but now that im actually watching it im kinda like. where? like yeah they had that one vaguely homoerotic wall-pinning moment in season 1, they snark at each other a lot, but like. i don't even see them together that often. and that's not even MENTIONING the fact that in season 1 stiles is 15/16 and derek is fucking,, 22 (or 20, I'm not sure on his age but ik its at least a four-year difference),,, which is just. yeah no thanks
if anything they strike me more as, like, goofy, vaguely sibling-coded friends. stiles came along as a package deal with scott and started annoying the shit out of derek and derek had no say in the matter whatsoever, and i think that's beautiful.
all this being said, stiles is absolutely bisexual
#out of all the ships ive seen for teen wolf the one i can get behind the most is scott and isaac#like. that's some MAJOR devotion bro. isaac brings scott up like every other sentence (not literally but ykwim) its cute#the whole allison love triangle is mucking that up a bit and honestly just. what even is the point of that#but WITHOUT THAT. <3#and they dont even have a disturbing age gap!!!#(yeah it has not escaped my notice that teen wolf has some. issues. with minor/adult relationships and inappropriate age gaps)#(theres the whole thing with lydia and that deputy whose apparently like 24 or some shit that i havent even gotten to yet. not looking#-forward to that)#other random tw ship opinions:#scott and allison are actually cute! i was pleasantly surprised in season one when i actually LIKED the main het ship lmao#stiles and lydia (or what exists of them so far anyway) are also cute#i still think it would have been cute/nice/whatever if jackson had repressed feelings for danny (which i know is not an impossibility since#-he DOES apparently come back with a bf later on)#but like i dont know how much i actually see that or if i just like it in theory . really i appreciate their friendship as a friendship in#-its own right#on that note. danny and ethan: SWEET. get it danny. love the trope of 'i originally had an alterior motive for getting with you but i#-caught feelings and really care about you now oops'#speaking generally though the romance (whether canonical or otherwise) is definitely NOT what attracts me to and keeps me hooked on teen#-wolf. not by far#but i like having opinions about it anyway uwu#magpie thoughts
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isamoa · 4 months
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“ WHAT GETS THEM HARD! ”
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jjk men x f!reader ࿐ MDNI.
ᰔ、summary. jjk scenarios on how their dicks get hard ofc
ᰔ、tags. (ft. gojo, geto, toji, choso), nsfw, female anatomy, cunnilingus, exhibitionism, sexting, masturbation, etc.
ᰔ、a/n. these are just my silly depictions. if u dont agree idgaf lol
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SATORU GOJO has the dirtiest mind and the highest sex drive. his pants definitely start feeling a little tighter at the sight of you eating a popsicle or something. specifically in public. he would have no shame in it either—casually forming a smirk on his face and dropping a snarky innuendo about the way you’re eating. “can you suck me off like that when we get home?” he’d mumble from across the table, his eyes peeking out from the top of his glasses, a smirk plastered on his lips; wet from the constant licking of his tongue. your eyes widen, a small ‘pop’ sounding from your mouth when you took the frozen sweet out to gasp at the man in front of you. “gojo! are you serious?” you’d yell in a whisper, looking around to see if anyone had heard him. “you’re right,” he’d sigh, standing up from his chair to reveal the very prominent and very obvious bulge in his pants. “we should just do it now.”
SUGURU GETO on the other hand is a polite man. like satoru, he’s a real freak in the sheets—but not as shamelessly. the littlest things can get him hard for sure, but unintentionally seeing your undergarments would really get him going. like an accidental peek at your panties from under your skirt, or a shirt thats a little too see-through showing off the print on your bra. he wouldn’t say anything of course, not right away. you would just be minding your own business one minute and then he’s dragging you towards the bedroom the next. “sugu- what are you-?” you would ask in a confusing tone, craning your head to look at the said man who was now behind you—pushing your stomach up against the countertop; a single hand brought up to grope your breast while the other laid flat against your hip. “your bra is showing.” he’d let you know blankly; an attempt to distract you while his hand slid it’s way into your pants. you would look down in response to his comment, noticing that your bra was in-fact showing like he said. unfortunately for him, you also already noticed the hardon pressed against your back.
TOJI FUSHIGURO gets hard from eating pussy. simple as that. he will get embarrassingly sloppy—juices coating his face and dripping down his chin, loving every second of it while his cock slowly grows harder. emphasis on grows. and if you think for a second that he does it for your pleasure, think again. this man will eat you out purely for his enjoyment only. his eyes are closed and his hands are squeezing at your thighs—legs thrashing uncontrollably from the uncomfortable pressure in his pants that’s about to come undone. “toji- let me help you.” you’d beg with a whimper, dragging your hand from the top of his head down to his cheek when you noticed the constant shuffling of his legs and the crease in his eyebrow. he’d laugh darkly, the breathy snicker creating a hum between your core that made a whine escape from your lips. “im fine mama,” he’ll say cockily, pulling a hand away from your leg to undo his zipper. “ill cum soon, you don’t gotta do ‘nun.”
CHOSO is a needy guy. his face will turn red at a simple flirty text—but send him a slutty pic and he might just cream his pants. fully naked or dressed in lingerie, his favorite or not, he will definitely feel some pressure down below. he might ignore you for a while, uncertain on how he should reply; if he’s even able to. “fuck- couldn’t wait till i got home, could you?” he’d whine quietly, trying his best to keep his voice down from the bathroom of his office job; one hand holding the phone up to his ear while the other rushed to unbuckle his belt. “sorry cho,” you’d apologize from the other line, voice rather faint as you posed for another picture to send him. “when are you coming?” you ask doubtfully just as his phone vibrates with another notification from your contact. “now- im comin’ now baby.” he replies with a huff, phone almost slipping from his ear. “really!?” you try to clarify—much more excited than the first time. “no, i mean im cumming. right now.”
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stellacendia · 9 months
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Just got an ask from some stranger with a brand new blog about signal boosting their fundraiser. And tbh even if the blog, ask, and fundraiser post wasn't giving me mild scammy vibes I probably would've answered with something like "I can reblog it but it wouldn't be much of a boost, I've got like 10 followers" because I'm such a tiny little nobody blog I doubt it'd get them any attention anyway
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brick-brooke · 4 days
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so dropout's gamechanger has been going thru an ARG, where the prevailing theory is that sam reich was replaced after Escape the Greenroom with Samual Dalton (acclaimed magician/time traveler).
My addition is this: after Escape the Greenroom, Sam has been looking at his hands every time he says "I am your host, Sam Reich" with astonishment.
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Like he's amazed that this is his body. He also annunciates the 'I' in 'I am your host' more noticeably, but it is not as consistent. I noticed it before, but figured it was just a new season refresh for intros.
He does not do this in any prior episode, like The Bachelor. The episodes right after Escape the Greenroom, the Battle Royale series, Sam does not do his normal intro after introducing the players.
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Interestingly, in the Escape the Greenroom episode itself, he does not look at his hands but the screen glitches before he says "I've been here the whole time" (similar to the prominent glitching in Deja Vu).
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this is what I've been munching on. sam you slimy dog.
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mx-paint · 1 year
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#honestly the people that go straight up 'abby was in the right completely and utterly and you can say joel didnt deserve it'#.....sure. he did. her and her friends Also deserved what they got#honestly the sides of this are Supposed to be like this#the whole point of the last of us is that they cant really escape their fates#like. even if joel doesnt kill the doctor out of the people he Did kill#joel gets killed instead#like. most people ive noticed do this from a 'abbys hot so shes right' standpoint which.#i dont really have to explain#(besides you can call a fictional character hot while also holding them accountable)#like. the whole point is that the fireflies plan is only 'get someone immune then hope for a cure'#which. doesnt seem like the best plan considering#like looking at it from my standpoint#they kill joel and ellie to get the cure#whats to say it doesnt work? there were notes of other survivors with immunity that Didnt possess the cure#(also How is he the 'only doctor' able to make the cure?)#whats to say it Does work. how are rhey planning on spreading it?#towns. cities. states. remote villages. full Countries.#lets say they make it work. what are they doing about the infected? the collapsed buildings and cities?#like. im saying this as someone that will take the smallest chance of a plan.#they Dont have one.#because the Whole point of the last of us is that theyre trying to survive and hoping for the best#like. yeah what joel did was fucked. but what the fireflies and abby did was even worse#abby Did deserve to get revenge.#so did joel and ellie.#i can also make another comment on ellies (lack of) revenge but another time#max screams
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hedgehog-moss · 7 months
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Pampérigouste escaped today and I almost didn't make a post about it because it's just more of the same isn't it? do people who read this blog really want to hear about yet another Pampe escape? Then I thought, that's like asking if people who read detective novels really want to hear about yet another mysterious murder. Probably yes. Also Pampe would have been offended to have such a successful escape go unreported.
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I would like to say that my new fence is still fully Pampe-proof. She has not escaped a single time through breaking or outsmarting the fence, so now she does it by outsmarting me. Which doesn't happen all that often, because we are intellectual equals. But I let my guard down this morning—I'd just peeled some greenhouse carrots to make purée and I went into the pasture to distribute the peelings even though it was raining (see how I got punished for my selflessness?), and I left the gate open because I was right in front of it, obstructing it with my body.
Pampe dropped her carrot peelings and acted like she couldn't find them even though they were right under her feet, so I took pity on her and crouched down to gather them and offer them to her again (see how I'm getting punished for my compassion??) and she took advantage of this diversion. In the span of 0.2 seconds she slithered around me and she was out. It was a little bit beautiful. I don't know if you remember this photo of Pampe & Pyrgus, but it's a perfect illustration of what happened:
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I sighed and ignored her and finished distributing the peelings to the other animals, and then went to the barn to get muesli to lure my nuisance back to her pasture. After escaping she initially ran towards the woods, but since I ignored her the whole time, she emerged from the woods when I returned, like, wait, did you notice I escaped? Behind your back, just earlier? Did you notice how I won and you lost?
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It shouldn't have been difficult to get her back into the pasture with the help of her favourite snack; unfortunately Pampoldine is still a big baby who was distraught that her mum had left her behind yet again (she should be used to it, honestly, it's been like this since she was an infant), she started making these little panicky noises that Pampe has never paid any attention to—
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—so when I propped the gate open with a branch to get Pampe back inside, Poldine hurried out instead. I wasn't expecting this, I thought it was clear that I had the situation under control and her mum would be back in 5 seconds. You could have just waited 5 seconds, Poldine.
Pampelune had no interest in escaping, but she's the matriarch and where her herd goes, she goes, so once the other two were out she barrelled past me as well. I opened the gate to bring 1 llama in and instead 2 llamas went out. Pirlouit besides me was like
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For some reason the llamas galloped towards the road, instead of just hanging out in the woods where there's stuff to eat. Maybe because Pampe hadn't gone out in a long time and she wanted to be admired for her feat. Her wish was granted—2 cars stopped to say hi as I was miserably trotting after my llamas on the road in the rain. One of them was the post office lady who once herded my animals out of a pasture with her car, and she was like hop in, it'll be like old times!!!
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The two people who stopped their car were enchanted with the encounter and they both told me that they missed the days when Pampe Sightings on this road were a regular thing. No one sides with my fence in the Pampe v. Fence conflict. I love the post office lady though, she had a Niagara song playing in her car when I got in and a minute later I muttered "I'll sell her to the butcher" and she started singing "Pampe ♪ Je vais devoir te vendre au boucher ♫" to the tune of that song. It fit the tune really well, too.
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After we managed to get the llamas off the main road and back in the woods, she was like, godspeed, I wish I could continue chasing them with you but I have to go make lunch for my kids. I told her that now that the llamas were no longer on the road I'd just let them roam, they'll come home before night, no way I'm going to chase after them in the woods in this dog weather. So I went home and grumpily resumed peeling carrots and potatoes for my mash.
I sat in front of the window to do it so I could keep an eye on Pirlouit, who was wandering around the pasture like a cursed soul, drenched with rain, lonely and llamaforsaken. Sometimes he brayed to try and guide his friends back home, wherever they were, but he never brayed while I was filming. His braying is a poignant display of emotion and is not for public consumption.
I figured, if the llamas come back Pirou will spot them and perk up his immense ears, and I'll know to go out and open the gate. Instead at some point I looked up from my potatoes and saw my donkey finally at peace, grazing rather than pacing restlessly, and I went to look outside and his friends were back! And so was his appetite.
I had new peelings + some muesli to offer, but of course Pampe could tell this offering was a crude and blatant trap and refused to fall for it. Meanwhile her innocent daughter was like yay, snacks :) and followed me in the pasture, a llama entirely devoid of wiles.
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After I got Poldine back inside I went like WELL since NOBODY else wants that delicious MUESLI I guess these deserving chickens can have it—and Pampe was here in the blink of an eye to shoo the hens away from her muesli.
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She was grudgingly smiling about it, too. Like, point for you.
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I love this pic where my chicken looks like she's herding the animals back in their pasture all by herself.
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Everyone is home! Pampe and Pandolf are walking away in search of new adventures, Poldine follows her mum because of her abandonment issues, and Pirlouit is also following everyone very closely, like, I'm not getting left behind again.
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I finally managed to cook my mashed carrots & potatoes (+ herbs from the greenhouse) and it's so nice to make food with nothing but ingredients you grew yourself! (To be completely honest I only managed to grow 3 carrots in the past few months but that's because I neglected them in pursuit of more flashy summer vegetables)
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I also had an apple-plum compote for dessert made with my own fruit <3 Okay, the cheese course in between was store-bought. One of my friends really wants me to get goats and be self-sufficient in cheese and when I told her I would be constantly chasing my goats over hill and dale because they have a reputation to be insufferable escape artists she was like, what difference will it make to your life...
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moondirti · 17 days
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kyle yearns for his captain's approval. you're the perfect medium through which he can secure it.
featuring: gaz x fem!reader x price. very consensual. fondling. inspection. fluff. praise kink. objectification. cucking? anal play. mentions of dp and breeding. 4k words of nonsense.
when price asks gaz if he's got anyone at home, gaz answers.
truthfully. he'd be hesitant to admit that he does to anyone else – soap especially, what with his track record of worming his way into people's pants – but his captain is... his captain. jonathan price. a real force of nature, cursed with an uncanny determinism and a habit of getting what he wants regardless of if those around him are willing. gaz knows that price will find out eventually; when the ring he's been planning to purchase for months finds it's way onto your finger, and he requests a change be made to the dependants section of his paperwork. perhaps before then too, if he really did some digging. but gaz also knows that, if there were anyone to trust with this precious knowledge, it'd be him.
so, he tells him about the little number he's got tucked away in a home in south oxfordshire. it's the lazy afternoon before a big mission, and he shouldn't be drinking but he is, a tumbler cradled between his palms and the burn of rye whiskey loosening his tongue. price doesn't speak, just listens, as the sergeant gradually devolves into more and more detail about your meeting, your courtship, the work you distract yourself with when he's not around. and despite his reverence, he admits it all breathlessly, a sheepishness pervading every word. how is he expected to keep his composure when the air is so heavy? unrelenting scrutiny and the potent waft of cigar-smoke draw a hot flush to his skin, the older man humming every so often as a prompt for him to continue.
he wants to, oddly enough. gaz is a reticent man, second only to ghost when it comes to keeping his life private. but something about this circumstance has him ready to lay it all bare. he wants to tell price about how you kiss his neck, the wicked fucking ways in which you use your mouth to milk him dry. he wants to pull out his phone, scroll through the hidden album full of pictures of your tits, of home-made films that paint you in a cum-covered, dazzling light. he wants price to know that he chose right, wants to hear the praise whispered in his ear as his captain lays a sturdy clap onto his back.
instead, he shrugs.
"not much more to tell, cap."
"damn shame." price taps his cigar to rid of the ashes. "sounds like a proper match, garrick. good for you."
and it's enough. a big enough lump of wood to keep the needy fire in his belly roaring. he shifts in his seat to dissuade the heat, rubbing his jaw in contemplation like he hasn't already thought of a perfect way to reap more.
"tell you what, sir. we survive this next assignment, i'll bring you over to meet 'er."
it's a hairbreadth escape, but they do manage to make it back alive, albeit a bit more scarred than they once were. gaz gets home late at night to find you awake, waiting on him despite the incredibly short notice he'd given you for his arrival. it's there – in the foyer, his nose buried in your neck as you babble on about how much you missed him, and what you'll make for breakfast to celebrate, and questions like hey, are you okay? that cut looks fresh or when was the last time you slept? – that he breaks the news. you'll be having his captain over for dinner in two week's time.
of course you're overjoyed. you've been begging to meet the people he risks his life with ever since he told you what he did for work. the planning is immediate. you're dumping recipes on him the next morning, asking for his opinion on what appetiser, main, and dessert your guest of honour would enjoy best. and what's his poison, anyway? i can get my hands on a nice bottle of scotch if you think it'd be worth it. kyle doesn't have the heart to tell you that nothing you'll do would matter much, that price has already taken a liking to you. besides, if anything, your homemaking ability makes him chub up in his pants. best not to rob himself of that delight.
the night arrives as quick as it had been put forward. gaz has to dodge your attempts to put a tie on him, stifles your complaints with a kiss and insists that it's not that kind of dinner party. you're confused (bless you) but flit around making last minute preparations in your bustier midi-dress anyway, kitten-heels clicking against the polished hardwood floors. at a certain point, he can tell that you're fussing over nothing and pulls you by the hand to stand by the doorway with him.
"there's something i didn't mention earlier." he whispers when you're finally settled, tucking his index finger under your chin. your brows knit anxiously. he pecks the canyons between them, stroking your bottom lip until the frazzled energy bleeds from you.
"why would you wait? there's not enough t–"
"not exactly something you can plan for, doll. s'just gonna happen." when you fail to push him for more context, he sighs. "price is expecting to see you."
"sure... that's the whole point, isn't it?"
"no, sweetheart." gaz's free hand wraps around your waist, lowering until it reaches the plush sweel of your ass. his touch lays breadcrumbs for you to follow, leading you down the very depraved path he's trekked a million times the past few weeks. "i mean all of you."
your lips part in realization. oh. he's scared straight for a second, heart hammering like it always does when he reveals a darker fantasy to you. but you merely smile – anxious, sure, pupils clouded with fresh concern, but a smile nonetheless – and accept his admission gracefully.
"and you want me to let him?"
gaz nods. "if you'd please."
you place a chaste kiss on his cheek, careful not to smear your makeup onto his clean-shaven skin. "okay."
he visibly slackens, an edge of playfulness cutting it's way back into his tone. "what's say we take those panties off, make things easier when the time arrives?"
"can' remember the last time i had a beef welly this good, love. family recipe?"
"yes, actually! but it took me some time to perfect for my own. the original called for sherry in the duxelle, but i always thought wine was better suited."
kyle doesn't know if he's ever been more proud of you.
you're a vision. the paradigm of charm. he half feared things to would be awkward following your conversation at the doorway, but aside from the first few minutes of price's arrival – the time it took everyone to thaw the ice of unfamiliarity – you've been anything but stilted. in fact, he worries that you missed the true implication of his request – of the direction things will take later – given the way you laugh openly. the ease in which you bridge conversation topics. your attentiveness, eyes roving over both your boyfriend and his captain to ensure everyone has everything they need. you certainly don't act like a girl who's going to be nakedly appraised tonight. all the expected clumsiness, the stumbling over your own words, replaced instead by eloquence and quick wit.
sweet girl. bloody... beautiful, darling girl.
price seems to think so too. he chuckles heartily at the stories you offer of kyle failing learning to waterski during your anniversary trip to mauritius (and offers his own insight too, something along the lines of how you'd expect the sergeant to be better balanced, given he's survived hanging off a helicopter before). offers some solid advice on how to deal with the ostentatious coworker whose been bugging you for months. and when you question him about his personal life – a line every good soldier knows not to take with their CO, which has gaz wincing internally – all your guest offers is a genuine, crinkle-eye smile. no doubt appreciative of the non-intrusive manner you ask.
he shoots gaz a look before answering, and it's one full of tacky warmth. a look he's seen several times on the field, molasses sweet and satisfying, one that invades his private thoughts too often to admit. whose effect he knows only comes off in a cold shower, a quick pump to his cock if you're not around to help relieve it. something like approval. unspoken praise.
"wish i could say i've been blessed like the two of ya. married to my work, m'afraid."
"oh." you wave your arms, standing to clear the table of dirty plates. "don't be ridiculous, john. you're a wonderful man. put yourself out there and i'm sure it'll come to you." you say it like it's breathing, and just as easily prance away to the kitchen, your voice losing to the clatter of silverware in the sink. thus, when you yell out something about dessert (price is really only able to decipher i made madeira! over the illegible chorus of cabinets closing) kyle is the one to answer you. well-trained in untangling your voice from any sort of ruckus, poor cell reception and moans and drunk gibberish and the obstructive fabric of his hoodie when you sob into his chest.
"maybe later, doll!" he voices back, scratching the back of his neck as he takes in the food still laid out in front of them. picked apart by hungry forks but still, enough to make up days worth of leftovers.
"mm. the girl stuffed me full, garrick." price stretches from his seat. "if i didnt know any better, i'd reckon you lot were fattening me up to feast on me come winter."
gaz stores the remains of your meal into nearby tupperwares then follows suit, urging his captain to follow him into the lounge. "please," he laughs, nodding when the man pulls a cigar from his pocket and twists it in a silent question. "she thinks they starve us out there. tries to make up for it by feedin' me into oblivion when i'm home."
"speak for yourself. i could do with a home-cooked meal every now 'n' then." the captain takes a puff of the maduro between his fingers, lets the smoke cloud his hindbrain. your house smells so much like you, like kyle and you – warm laundry and anise and jasmine – that he feels a quick lick of guilt at ruining the fragile balance of it. too little too late, too – the scent of leather and oily spice pervades the space.
but you don't mention it once you waltz back in, smoothing your hands across the back of your dress. "if we don't get a chance to try the cake tonight, remind me to send you home with some, john." gaz poorly conceals his laugh with a cough, sinking into the cushion when you shoot him an offended look. "what?"
"nothing," he pouts, then hides his next words behind the back of his hand, whispering to price. "i told you."
"i can hear you, you twat!" you flick his ear, brows furrowed in faux irritation as your boyfriend wraps an arm around your legs.
"i know! hey– i know, gorgeous. was only joking." his forehead nudges your tummy, restless until you comb your hand over his tight curls. "th'captain knows that too. isn't that right, sir?"
"of course."
"you laugh now, but wait until you're halfway through a month long mission. you'll wish you had me around!"
"don't i know it." kyle murmurs, the fingers at the back of your thigh slowly creeping upward. the skirt of your dress slips, climbs up your legs with the motion of his forearm, and all too suddenly he remembers your lack of undergarments.
fuck. he almost forget he pocketed your panties. and you... you've been so natural, such a good hostess despite the cold brush of air constantly on your cunt. it flips a primal switch inside him – that same trigger that'd prompted mention of this night in the first place. blood rushes to his cock so fast it hurts, desperation flooding his lungs until the only thing he can breathe out is your name.
"hmmm." you smile in return. and if price weren't here, he'd bury his nose into the canyon between your legs and take a deep inhale of your natural musk.
but he is, and so all gaz can manage is a quiet: "how about you show the captain our little surprise?"
"oh?" the man in question hums. dangerously relaxed, two legs spread and his posture curved as he watches the little display you put on for him. "what's this about a surprise, then?"
you bite your lip, raking your nails down from your boyfriend's neck to his shoulder and placing a tight, reassuring squeeze there before breaking away. nothing is said as you push an ottoman between price's knees, making sure it's steady before pushing him to rest against the back of the couch.
"do you like my dress?" you practically purr, bending over as to pronounce your tits. kyle's breath stutters, watching for the way superior's eyes take in your form. gratification swells in his belly when he just smiles, patting your hip.
"s'that really a question that needs to be asked, lovie? you know the answer."
an adorable mix between a shrug and giggle is all you give. "kyle says you want to see me."
"aye. i do."
"and i wanna make him happy."
"same for me."
and kyle thinks he could just cum in his pants if this keeps up. he feels filthy, both an observer and the main act in this spectacle. the knowledge that his captain doesn't just want you, the love of his life, but him too works away at him, hollowing him out until he's nothing but a husk of docile yearning.
"so, what'll it be?" you say.
"turn around. elbows on the ottoman, knees on either side of my thighs."
you obey instantly, lamplight catching the heated flush of your skin while you position yourself according to price's wishes. your back arcs so that your ass is prominently within his view, plump even beneath the loose material of your dress.
"kyle."
"sir." he coughs, shifting to conspicuously adjust the aching mass tucked in his waistband.
"on your knees, son. righ' here beside me. when i ask a question, you're expected to answer."
"yes, sir."
"got tha' that, lovie?" he grunts. "respond now, and then it's silence from you."
"okay!" you wiggle your hips, forgetting yourself for a moment. "sir!"
this gaz can do. following orders. grounded pragmatism, however far this is from a professional setting. he figures price has gleaned as much, has given him this task so he doesn't flounder off track throughout the evening and ruin things for everyone. the hard part is over then, all of that hesitant foreplay – of opening up, getting you to agree, of the stretch of time it took for everyone to warm up to one another – wrapped up for something simpler.
all he has to worry about is answering promptly and correctly while he watches his captain–
flip your skirt over your hips.
a low whistle. then, two hands on your backside, kneading the soft flesh there. working either globe apart like dough, the glistening seam of your most private parts spread open to prying eyes. price appraises your cunt for the first time like he would a winning showdog, or the sky on a particularly pleasant day. all utilitarian-like. if it weren't for the bulge in his trousers, your boyfriend would almost be offended.
"no panties, hm?"
"no-" you start, squeaking out an apology when you earn a firm swat to your thigh.
"i asked her to go without them tonight. thought... you'd appreciate it, sir." kyle replies, swallowing the saliva that arises upon seeing your lips flutter.
"good lad." a hot flash of arousal breaks across his chest. the captain lets go of his grip on your ass, watching how the fat jiggles back into place, then returns to squeezing it. "surprised i couldn't smell 'er, way she was dancing around us all night."
it isn't a question, so gaz stays quiet.
the groping continues. sometimes its light – brushes of calloused palms across the area, disturbing the stillness like a rock skipping over water. you ripple when he pokes, shake when he taps. other times, and increasingly once price notes your resilience to pain, it borders on rough. moulding your flesh into compact pinches, jabbing his thumb into the softness so hard it'll bruise. you take it all with grace, a low whine building in your chest that he let's go unpunished.
"she's taking this well. you rough her up often?"
"when she asks, sir." he thinks for a moment, catching your wily smile from the corner of his eye. minx. "likes it more than i do giving it to her."
"need someone to take care of the both of ya." price chuckles, then moves on, oblivious to the way the sergeant's hips buck at his implication. or, maybe he notices – probably does – and stores it away for another time. "looks like a greedy little pussy to me." his thumbs hook onto either side of your labia, pulling it apart like fresh bed to reveal the sloppy mess between. your clit is enflamed, angry for being neglected for so long. if you were allowed to speak, kyle can guarantee with almost a hundred percent certainty that you'd be whining to be touched. "look a' tha'." price's accent grows thicker. "fat little thing just jumping for attention."
he curls a finger, then flicks the swollen bud. a loud moan bursts from you, your face falling between your forearms as you hold yourself back from begging. gaz would've acquiesced by now, would've rubbing the bundle of nerves raw the second you fanned your pretty lashes up at him.
but price snaps it three more times in rapid succession, which apparently is too much for you to handle because you yell. "p-please!"
he remedies your slip up with a slap to the same area. the crack on impact echoes long enough to tell him that one hurt. "shhh. so spoiled, sergeant. how often do you make her cum?"
"a-at least three times a go, sir."
"what's the record?"
"eight."
"and the longest you've held off?"
kyle hesitates, bowing his head for the reprimand he knows is coming. "never... never tried. sir."
"tch."
a precision blow. swift but petrifying. the captain's managed to find both your loose strings in a matter of minutes, tugging to see them come undone on his lap. gaz has got the unwavering urge to rest his chin on his strong thigh, put it on the record that he isn't weak willed, just indulgent. something that can be easily remedied, with his guidance. if he'd let him.
and you...
you're gyrating your hips, begging for some pressure on your aching centre. price gives it to you, though not in the way you expect, pinching your clit and tightening his hold until you're motionless, muscles trembling but otherwise perfectly poised.
so the inspection continues. he fans out your vulva, exposing the hole that clenches around nothing. a laugh wracks his frame at the sight, the aftermath of it husky. amused. "begging to be filled, a'right. how many cocks has she had in 'ere?"
"just mine, sir. and her toys."
"how about at once?"
kyle's never been so bold with you; has always held back that godless part of him, that needy dog he sees his comrades often embrace. pure, unfettered degeneracy. you're soft, and pretty and good and a high-functioning member of society. and he's never once wanted to see you hurt, uncomfortable or bite-mark-bloodied, despite the way his mind screams at him to at least ask. see if you'd be willing to appease that side of him.
yet you visibly shiver at the thought proposed by price, gooseflesh pocking your skin, and he knows he should have thrown caution to the wind.
"one, sir."
he watches the man's finger outline the circumference of your opening, dipping in by the millimetre to test the waters. "shame. could probably stretch her out. get 'er nice and loose for whenever you wan' something to keep you warm without the commitment."
the finger plunges in.
gaz watches you swallow his superior to the last knuckle in what must be a world-record, no time to blink lest he misses it. price goes with the motion, setting his free hand onto your ass to keep you steady as he wiggles his digit to make space amidst the tight embrace of your walls. or, that's what he thinks is happening. the only indication he has of things are the lewd squelches your cunt emits and the face of pure ecstasy you pull. but he's well-versed enough in your bodily functions that he's sure of his estimate.
"scratch wha' i said. nothing beats this." his superior groans, and for the first time that night, adjusts himself in his pants. kyle wishes he would pull it out, allow himself the relief of freeing a raging hard-on from its confines. but kyle also wishes that he could be given something to do, something with his mouth perhaps, to sate the unaddressed thrill in his bones. it wouldn't take a smart man to figure out that both wishes are very much correlated. "fucking suffocating clutch. wouldn' pull out if my life depended on it. pussy like this isn' made for that, garrick."
"sir?"
"you cum inside her, lad?"
"i- yes. i-i do. she's on birth control."
"best to see to that, then." he says, like the contraceptive is an obstacle and not a consolation. you release another, long-winded moan, to which price pulls his finger out to pat your vulva. like taming a wild animal. "though what i said still stands. could always do with a loose hole."
his hand inches up.
this time, it's gaz who groans.
loudly. his eyes fluttering halfway shut, hands tugging at the tight fabric over his groin. you throw a curious look over your shoulder, concern glossing your pupils until you confirm that the source of the sound isn't pain, but pleasure. ecstasy at finally having his wants vocalised, that incessant impulse that nags and nags and nags anytime he's fucking you from behind, tight rim practically leering up at him, tempting him to thrust upwards and 'accidentally' slip in.
"you like that, sergeant? hm? ever use this asshole? it looks unbroken to me."
"y-you're... not wrong, sir. i–"
"but you want to?" he finishes for him, scooping some of the abundant slick from your cunt and slathering it onto your back entrance. it's not enough lubrication to do anything but press one thumb in, but he repeats the process to push the other in alongside it.
"yeah."
you give him a look that can't mean anything except we'll talk about this later and he can bloody kiss price if he was given permission to, if not for anything but helping him open this impossible subject with you.
"we'll see to tha' some other day, then."
his thumbs retreat. your hole winks shut again. gaz is torn between looking at you or his captain, but the latter man robs him of the indecision by bringing his dominant index and middle fingers to his lips. they're shiny with the remnants of your fluids, as if he needed any incitement to wrap his mouth around the digits. he works at them until price's fingers prune, laving his tongue around the knuckles, against the nail beds, all the way through to the fold of skin between them.
so desperate to please, to see to it that 'some other day' is everyday henceforth.
a future with price by your sides. beyond just the field. the bite in your supple existence. spice supporting anise and jasmine, some aphrodisiac blend that'll carry you through to the end of your lives, happy. sated. a mediator. commander. captain. his captain.
"that's a good boy."
he could really get used to this.
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