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defectivevillain · 1 year

Text

struck by your lightning, chii

reader’s pronouns: he/him

here’s chapter one [you’ll want to read this first, otherwise this part won’t make much sense]

as i mentioned in part one, this is a chat fic and the formatting was mostly made for ao3. it’s a lil wonky here, so here’s the ao3 version if you’d prefer to read that :)

a lil recap of last chapter: you're assigned to work the red carpet at a national awards gala. there, you interview tons of celebrities, including kaminari! kaminari is super nice & you leave the event feeling exhausted, relieved, and satisfied all at once. you return home to take a light nap, only to wake up to a notification from your phone. it seems kaminari is texting you...? that's weird.

Direct Message

You: SKJNFIOE LK>BFGJSL B>GEJRHKR BLWUIFKGJ ER

Kaminari Denki: u good?

You: TOTALLY COMPLETELY FINE

Kaminari Denki: OKAY, GOOD ?

You: YEP…

You: 😶

Kaminari Denki: 😶 😶

You: sorry i didn’t believe you

You: i have to be careful with messages from unknown numbers…

You: well, you get it, i’m sure.

Kaminari Denki: ya i get it

You: also, i have something to say to you

Kaminari Denki: wassup

You: waffles are better fck u

Kaminari Denki: ur so wrong.

You: I AM ABSOTLEUYL NOT

Kaminari Denki: LMFAO YOU ABSOTLEUYL ARE

You: FUCK U

Kaminari Denki: 😘

You: hold on. hold onnnnnn.

You: how’d u get this number ??

You: pls don’t tell me my number is leaked

Kaminari Denki: nahhh it’s not leaked

____

You have to breathe a sigh of relief at that. It’s not like you’re an important public figure or anything, but the thought of anyone having access to your phone number sends shivers down your spine. You already get enough spam calls.

____

Kaminari Denki: i got ur number cuz…

Kaminari Denki: idol perks

You: you just asked my coworker, didn’t you

Kaminari Denki: yup

You: sigh…

Kaminari Denki: they told me that if i hurt you

Kaminari Denki: they’d murder me

You: gsjfdkheng3oaejk….

You: just give me a moment to scream

Kaminari Denki: …

You: ok im bck

Kaminari Denki: LOL dude ur good dw abt it 😭

Kaminari Denki: i thought it was kinda cute actually

You: unfortunately, they were dead fucking serious… they could kill a bitch

You: i wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve already killed someone, actually…

Kaminari Denki: well that’s comforting

You: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You: also, congrats on the award !

Kaminari Denki: thx

Kaminari Denki: does this mean you’ll listen to my music now?

You: maybe

Kaminari Denki: hmph :/

You: why?

Kaminari Denki: why what?

You: idk. why do you care? it’s not like my listening will give you any money

Kaminari Denki: …

Kaminari Denki: cause ur cute and i like you?

You: what

Kaminari Denki: wha

You: what

Kaminari Denki: wha

You:

Kaminari Denki: welp i’m just gonna go then 🏃🏃🏃

You: no waittt

You: sorry, you just surprised me

Kaminari Denki: no one’s ever said that to you before?

You: well, i mean, yeah, but…

Kaminari Denki: who. when. where. why.

You: plssss

You: what album should i start on then

Kaminari Denki: lightning

You: oki

Kaminari Denki: tell me how u like it after ;0

You: okiii

You: alr i’m gonna go to bed

Kaminari Denki: gn (´｡• ω •｡`)

____

Kaminari: it’s been a week are you alive

____

You grimace at the notification displayed on your lock screen. Admittedly, you hadn’t meant to ignore him- time just slipped away from you. Guilt stews in your chest all the same.

____

You: no i’m definitely not

Kaminari: sooo what’d ya think

You: oh SHIT that’s what i forgot to do

You: im so sorryyyyy the agency has been running me ragged 🙏

Kaminari: don’t apologize for doing ur job,, lol

Kaminari: what are they having you do?

You: whaleeee

You: before, i was more of a local reporter

You: but since the awards, i’ve actually been interviewing other celebrities and stuff

Kaminari: oh

You: it’s weird, tbh

Kaminari: ya a lot of music folks are pretty weird

You: says you

Kaminari: oi! i’m not weird 😡

You: im jk lolll

Kaminari: you know for a reporter you have awful grammar

You: well fck u2 then

Kaminari: :P

You: people keep recognizing me now,,, it’s weird

You: like literally a girl came up to me yesterday and was like “you interviewed kaminari!!”

Kaminari: oh shit lol

You: right?

You: other than that, i’ve been good

You: hbu? you’ve probably been busy

Kaminari: nah, not that much. just writing new music.

You: oh cool

You: speaking of music

You: i really liked your album

Kaminari: rly? u listened to it?

You: ofc i did!!!! it was cool

Kaminari Denki: what was ur fave song :P

You: probably shockwave!

You: it was very heartfelt

Kaminari: yeah… i wrote that one in the midst of a breakup

You: awe :(

You: at least it made a great song, haha

Kaminari Denki: yeah, that’s a good way to think about it actually

You: 😌

Kaminari Denki: so what other music do you listen to, then?

Kaminari Denki: besides mine, obviously

You: i listen to sero’s music sometimes

Kaminari Denki: skljehgeiroljhngejlrkshg

You: have you heard of him?

Kaminari Denki: …

Kaminari Denki: yes

You:

Kaminari Denki:

You:

You: r u good?

You: u got rly weird all of a sudden

Kaminari Denki: one sec, i need to kill a bitch

You: wut

____

Direct Message

Kaminari: SERO I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU

Sero Brain Cells: I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO RIP YOUR POSTER

Sero Brain Cells: IT WAS AN ACCIDENTTTTTT

Kaminari: what

Sero Brain Cells: what

Kaminari: what poster.

Sero Brain Cells: ohshit💀

Kaminari: sero. what poster.

Sero Brain Cells: ur limited edition one….? ha…… ha……

Kaminari: wow i am literally going to kill you twice

Sero Brain Cells: NO PLS SPARE ME

Kaminari: and to think that wasn’t even what i was going to talk to you about

Kaminari: damn

Kaminari: ok. focus, kaminari.

Sero Brain Cells: i swear i’ll make it up to you bro

Kaminari: you will?

Sero Brain Cells: yes just ask for a favor. any favor and i’ll do it

Kaminari: perfect. stop making music forever.

Sero Brain Cells: okay

Kaminari: nice

Sero Brain Cells: great

Kaminari: perfect

Sero Brain Cells: wait WHAT THE FUCK

Kaminari: u heard me hoe

Sero Brain Cells: wtf crawled up ur ass dude

Kaminari: i asked my friend what kind of music he listens to and he said yours

Sero Brain Cells: holy shit ur talking to that reporter?

Kaminari: HOW IN THE HELL

Kaminari: LITERALLY HOW DID YOU KNOW

Sero Brain Cells: lmfaooo

Sero Brain Cells: kami, i know all of ur other friends. bc they’re also my friends.

Kaminari: sighhhhh

Sero Brain Cells: anyway. he listens to my music?

Kaminari: -_-

Sero Brain Cells: that’s cool tbh

Kaminari: -_-

Sero Brain Cells: give him my number, will u?

Kaminari: i despise you

Kaminari: why are we friends

Sero Brain Cells: because i’m sexy and hot and funny?

Kaminari:

Sero: <3 ?

Kaminari: … <3

Sero Brain Cells: and bc i make good music? ;)

Kaminari is offline.

Sero Brain Cells: damn 💀

____

Direct Message

You: u good, dude…? it's been a few days…

Kaminari Denki: definitely… dude.

You: don’t kill sero, pls? I like his music :$

Kaminari Denki: oof

You: i’m messing with you

You: although i do actually like his music a lot

Kaminari Denki: staHp

You: but i like ur music more ;)

Kaminari Denki: DSNJKGLJSNJGFKSGJLS

____

Direct Message

Kaminari Denki: oh!! also!!! i completely forgot- u left ur placard on the red carpet the other day

You: oh FUCKKKKKK MEEEEE

Kaminari Denki: i mean if you insist

You:

Kaminari Denki:

You:

Kaminari Denki: [placard.jpg]

[placard.jpg]: A picture of the ever-familiar placard that you had at the red carpet. The back is filled with your rampant scribblings and notes. It’s hardly legible once you really look at it. Upon closer investigation, there’s a note in glittery gold ink at the bottom with a cute doodle of a Pikachu. Evidently, that was Kaminari’s doing.

You: AKSJHGSDJSHJKHJS THANK YOU FOR SAVING IT

You: omfg that would’ve been so bad if someone else had gotten ahold of it…

Kaminari Denki: yeah some of these notes are hilarious, dude

Kaminari Denki: “Don’t ask Ground Zero anything. Ever.”

You: NOOOOOO you weren’t supposed to see that

Kaminari Denki: “Don’t ask Shoto about his father,” is a rly good one actually

You: oh goddddd pls spare me

Kaminari Denki: dude it’s okay calm down

Kaminari Denki: do u want it back

You: yeah ig

You: wouldn’t want to leak industry secrets 🙄

You: since u have it… can u just mail it to me

Kaminari Denki: don’t have ur address

You: well i’ll just give it to you then, dude

Kaminari Denki: i don’t have postal

You: wut 😶

____

Direct Message

Kaminari: DUDE HELP MEEEEE

Kaminari: SOS SOS SO FUCKING S

Sero Brain Cells: what’d u do this time

Kaminari: so yk how the cuteass reporter dropped his placard and i picked it up

Sero Brain Cells: u did??? dawg ur whipped 💀

Kaminari: THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT

Kaminari: but anyway i texted him abt it today and he said i could just mail it to him

Kaminari: but!! i was hoping to see him again and obv i didn’t want that to happen

Sero Brain Cells: and????

Kaminari: and… [textconvo.screenshot]

Sero Brain Cells: oh i know you did nottttt

Kaminari: I PANICKED AND SAID I DIDN’T HAVE POSTAL

Sero Brain Cells: yeah,,,, i can see that…..

Kaminari: I'M SO DONE

Sero Brain Cells: dude no ur not

Kaminari: wut

Sero Brain Cells: this is ur chance!!!!!! u can get him to hang out w u by offering to give him the placard thingy

Kaminari: have i ever told u that ur a genius

Sero Brain Cells: not enough, evidently

Kaminari: WELL UR A GENIUS

Kaminari is offline.

Sero Brain Cells: well, ty

____

Direct Message

Kaminari Denki: oi i have an idea

You: what’s up

Kaminari Denki: abt the placard

You: yes?

Kaminari Denki: ur agency’s near that one cafe right

You: espressobeanz? yes

Kaminari Denki: i can meet u there tmrw

You: um what

Kaminari Denki: ?

You:

Kaminari Denki:

You: wait what

Kaminari Denki: what?

You: idk, just… don’t you have more important things to do

Kaminari Denki: not rly

You: ok…

Kaminari Denki: plus i wanna hang out :(

You: ohhhh oki

You: wait holup holdup

You: the cafe is kinda public… r u gonna be ok

Kaminari Denki: why wouldn’t i be

You: idk don’t you get mobbed in public whenever people recognize you

Kaminari Denki: i mean yeah but it’s fine

You: u sure?

Kaminari Denki: yep!

You: okiii sounds like a plan then

Kaminari Denki: cool

You: i get off work at 3pm so let’s just meet then?

Kaminari Denki: 👍

____

Direct Message

Kaminari: omfg sero ur forgiven for ripping my poster

Sero Brain Cells: HOORAY

Kaminari: im meeting w him tomorrow Ψ(`_´ # )↝

Sero Brain Cells: niiiiice!!

Kaminari: i'm so scared

Sero Brain Cells: what why

Kaminari: i'm scaredddd

Sero Brain Cells: okay okay don’t freak out

Sero Brain Cells: have you picked out an outfit?

Kaminari: nope

Sero Brain Cells: okay so here’s what we’ll do. I’ll meet u at ur place tn and i’ll help u pick out something to wear

Kaminari: and i’ll order food

Sero Brain Cells: YES NOW U GET IT

____

You throw your phone on the couch and bury your head in your hands. Your heart is racing at the thought of seeing Kaminari again. You have to pause and take a deep breath to calm yourself down. Thankfully, you have the rest of today to spend freaking about and picking out ten different outfits that you’ll never wear.

As for right now, though… It’s time to distract yourself. You pull up a Youtube video and resolutely pretend not to think about your date tomorrow.

____

thx for reading <33333

tagging: @tejas-kris and @felmierr :0

#defectivevillain #kaminari x reader #kaminari x male reader #bnha x reader #bnha x male reader #male reader #masc reader #yuh yuh #transmasc reader #ig #I mean I'm transmasc so #yeah that counts

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notmyprey · 1 month

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I hope it’s ok if I send another ask. I really liked how you answered my first one.

anyway what do you think about humanoid preds. Like nagas or centaurs or merfolk? There’s plenty of other half animal ones or even just anthros. I myself like half humans cause then you can mess with familiar anatomy. Whoops rambled myself.

Hope you’re having a nice day!

Goodness, sorry for taking so long to reply!!! Im always more than happy to answer asks!!!!

Personally, I tend to prefer preds that are mostly human shape, or vaguely human, but altered a bit. So, for instance, giants, gods, monsters that resemble humans until they open their mouth and they unfold into a terrifying creature, or things that are mostly humans, but have to hide some part of them with clothes or makeup/special effects to look human (like extra mouth or eyes that are blood red), etc.

I think I like em its cause I kinda accidentally tend to give them ~abandonment issues~ but I think thats a me mental issue so- moving on!

On the topic of specifically half animal preds, though, I think they can be good. I just think some are overused, specifically normal nagas.

But if they are altered/different, I tend to like them better. Like, for instance, I have a character idea for a naga who can heal by eating ppl. They only have one stomach, which is in their human half, but its not the thing that can heal. Their intestines do.

They also dont eat normal food, so the intestines aren't full of gross stuff. And they have a mouth like opening on the tip of their tail that sits along the spine that opens to let the prey out, so none of the uhm, ya know... stuff....

(side note: not that ppl cant like that stuff, or that those who do are bad or anything. I just personally have sensory and ~other~ issues that make it an uncomfortable topic for me).

Another thing is that technically, the naga is able to get the prey out of their intestines without waiting for them to get to the tip of their tail, but it causes severe internal bleeding for them when forcing them back up.

But it makes the naga and prey think abt- is this injury worth it for them to sit in (the nagas) intestines for a few hours?

I also have a character in that story who has an issue with letting people help them, along with their claustrophobia. So after getting drastically injured (their spine breaks) they are gulped down by the naga. After maybe 10 minutes they're healed, and are now fully conscious. But they are getting claustrophobic, and end up lashing out and stabbing the naga with their knife (from inside ofc). That causes the naga to force them back up, causing the naga to be hurt now both from internal bleeding and a knife wound.

Dw, things work out fine, apologies and bandaids help.

But ya! Half humans are fun!! Love em!!

#safe vore #sfw vore #soft vore

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zerobaseonefics · 11 months

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Salut venom 🤙

Technically you weren't within the last 10 people who reblogged my posts but I'm a badass who likes to break rules and I want to stalk learn more about you 🫶 P.S I hope you're doing better and feeling alright.

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. learn to know your mutuals and followers :)

okay so there's like 6 person who sent me this but i'll only answer to yours since you were the first one to send it to me 👅 you even broke the rules for me 🫶🏼

first, thanks for checking up on me ily <3 i'm doing fine dw!

second, to all the ppl who sent me the same message, thanks for thinking abt me, i also love u 🫶🏼

third, i'm a creature made of hate and acerbity so nothing makes me happy /hj

no but fr. 5 things that make me happy :

1. the beach 🫶🏼 it's like my number one safe place. i was born in a city by the sea so i used to go there a lot when i was a kid. it makes me forget abt all my worries

2. sport in general. trying not to kill myself? i'll do sports 🙏🏼 it could be anything but most of the time i go to the gym or to run when i need to clear my head, and i feel great whenever i go to one of my dance classes or karate 👍🏼

3. my friends and family. i mean yeah that's a basic ass answer but i never claimed to be original nor special ✋🏼 im a basic bitch ✋🏼 it could be friends irl or ivl (love you bbygirls bbyboys and bbythem)

4. i love creating. it could be anything, i do music, i sew, i paint, i write (actual serious writings, not fanfictions), i cook,,,, i just love doing things with my own hands. if i see a pretty dress then i'd rather sew it myself than to buy it. that's how i ended up doing all my friends' dresses for prom last year 😭 i just feel happy about the process, the idea of creating something, but i feel even more happy once the creation is done

5. talking to ppl there <3 even the weird ask are making me happy cuz what are you mad for? i love the idea of someone's day being so bad they rely on hating on me to feel better /j 🫶🏼 but honestly i mostly receive love here, everyone is so nice and funny and i love talking to yall <3

#zerobaseonefics #moni <3

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stanleyyyyyyy · 1 year

Text

on my old posts I like to look back to all the way back to my blue narrator era and think:

"why has he evolved from twink to Twink but tall to blob to hunk and now some genderless thing with a body and wings"

anyways headcannons below if you wanna know more Abt my narry and curator and TK/432

SO anyways time to info dump!!!

My narrator is a fallen angel I like to imagine. With each death he has, he goes closer to his holiness. Though he does not want to really? Considering he already fell once and is fine with his life, he doesn't want to deal with his siblings rattling him about for being the middle child.

Also, quick note, touching water melts him! Or at least the part that is touched, but luckly he is self regenerating. Water kills him!

As for siblings, I headcannon curator and 432/TK are his siblings, with curayor being the oldest and TK/432 being the youngest

they all represent a stage in life kinda? Narrator is death as for the reason with his true name being Mori Momento. Fallen angel is angel of death kinda way.

Curator is life, she makes life, and gives life. Though as life sucks, so does she! Curator does not like narrator and is kinda shitty. like. I mean curator is really strict and serious about their positions, but she is lucky enough to still be an angel !

TK/432 is limbo, or the in-between. They are the in-between of life and death, deciding whether you reincarnate, go to the after life or whatever, really based on your religion there isn't just one place, they decide who goes where

so the system is like this: Curator brings life, narrator sends it to death, and TK/432 decides where it goes

however! of narrator chose to he could bring some people back, thought depends on how important one is ECT

important people stay DEAD

but! as for the parable? it was more or so his punishment to start with, as since being a being who is death and controls death is now a fallen angel, what do you do? so his older sibling curator decides to make the parable along with TK/432 and have narrator stay they're for eternity, but why let him get bored yk? so they choose an already dead human and tell him to bring him back (gets him into more trouble as it was Stanley and he was important and yk...) so now he is stuck in a parable with a guy who has fallen head over heels for narrator

also side facts: narrator is genderless but goes by he/they/it, he is gay (likes. men.), and his form always shifts about sometimes more feminine sometimes more masculine sometimes ambiguous depending on how he feels

Curator is also genderless and a lesbian (likes. women!!), going by she/they/it, and her form mostly stays more feminine looking as she dislikes trying to change her form

TK/432 is genderless as well, and goes by they/it but sometimes a sprinkle of he and a sprinkle of she if they feel bored, they are panromantic but asexual!! they always stay a very gender neutral state but sometimes like to jokingly become the body type of some wild west cowboy that works out 24/7

annnnd yeah hope that was scrumptious!!! if you ever have questions feel free to go into my ask box and ask me stuff, im fine with anything dw, like hell ask me to write a response my narrator would write to something you say I'll do it

#the stanley parable #tsp #tspud #tsp narrator #tspud headcannon #headcannon #tsp curator #tsp timekeeper #tsp 432 #they are the same im sorry ik that's disliked among some bit rr #it's just headcannons #I'm in love with tsp rn

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vexilanimous · 3 years

Photo

so people are actually interested in my and @caramellody‘s scott the woz phantom thief au?? which like i was hoping for but im still lowkey surprised

i dont rlly have any more Big Art so ill use this post as a Lore Dump under the cut (ill likely make a seperate post for things involving p5 spoilers though. so dw abt that im keeping this one spoiler free, mostly major ones but ill err on the side of caution)

OKAY SO. this au begins with Dr. Anna May, who has mostly backed off but she just Cannot let scott’s refusal to play persona 5 slide. so, she uses her Anime Realm Powers or whatever they are to isekai him into the game. He becomes an additional orignal phantom thief alongside joker, ryuji, and ann, and will be released from the game when he beats it.

to accomplish this, anna has used her dominion over anime to create extra backstory for an additional character. iirc scott has played the p5r intro for footage, but i dont think anything past that? i could be wrong but just for the sake of au. thats where were at.

SO, scott is basically also from jokers hometown, and had also tried to intervene in the event that led to joker getting arrested in the first place, and are now both under sojiros roof bc. idk same case. they have bunk beds :)

that said, scott doesn’t really live that backstory? like he goes to bed in ohio one night, wakes up to mr. purse owner 5 shaking him awake like “hey cmon this is our stop” he sorta has to pick it up from context clues. he also has to go to shujin, and while it makes more sense for this to be Scott But High School Age for the duration of the isekai thing, i find its infinitely funnier if hes just. the same 24yo scott as irl. nobody acknowledges or questions this.

he also cant say hes in a game lest the ps4 hes running on fuckin explode, so anytime he tries what comes out is replaced with. something relevant that doesnt break the 4th wall. yknow the e3 2017 video intro. it looks/sounds like that.

SPEAKING of the ps4, time is moving at the games pace from scotts perspective. like, days can be quick for us as the player, but for scott in this situation a day is a day. 24 hours. outside of the game time is moving as usual however. at one point rex gets into scotts apartment, sees scott on the tv and the ps4 playing itself, and just tells the others “yeah hes fine hes just having one of those wacky gaming adventures again” by the time hes out, assuming abt a 100hr playthough is average (thats what i got anyways) only a few days have passed in ohio

anyways hes really pissy about the situation at first, i like to imagine anna may showed up the first night after it all started in her own velvet room dream sequence to explain everything, but thats just for theming/aesthetic purposes, i feel like joker should still be the only wildcard of the groupbut he gets to where the kamoshida plot is really ramping up and the shiho moment. and idk abt you guys but that moment hit me HARD, so scott basically goes i know this is very real and im so ready to throw down. (bold = 4th wall preserving redaction btw.)

his rebellious spark is him putting his moping about the situation aside to do said throwing down, and to overall make the best out of his situation (i mean, hes in japan, they made wario there, might as well see the sights while ur stuck there)

the actual phantom thief design is, again, by caramellody. i came up with duel as a codename, bc of the dual color scheme and duel bein a fightin word sjklfdsjf. (also if you put duel and scott together the initials are DS. thats video game initials........) outside of a jokey persona like vince young or smth, im stuck on his persona but i like to think of him using both fire and ice on a slightly weaker scale compared to ann and yusuke, sorta like crow with bless and curse. hes a blunt weapon user like ryuji, but theyre all like. light blunt weapons. and hes a lighter hitter and much more agile than ryuji.

this post is getting Way Too Long, so ill close out by saying. this au is supposed to defo supposed be on the goofier side, but me and caramellody have some canon divergence planned that puts the goofy to the side for a second...

ty for coming to my ted scott talk.

#scott the woz phantom thief au #scott the woz #persona 5 #phantom thief #my art #blood

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sothischickshe · 3 years

Text

gg finale tag

i was tagged by @mego42, @icanthearyoufromhereplease, @inyoursheets, @septiembrre, @missmaxime, @onlyformissmarks & @kenrune to talk abt what i would/n’t want to happen in the finale, and dw i have in fact noticed the eps already aired lol but expecting me to do things in a timely fashion is extremely foolish & maybe you can help my slow processing, uh, process!

things i wouldntve even put on the wishlist bc ive had my feelings hurt too many times:

beth & rio ending in a good but reasonably open-ended place [can u.....believe........................this happened...................?!!! i thought they were going to like gnaw at each other’s necks till they both bled out or something rather]

beth-dean divorce [extremely surprised this seemed to be happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very very very very very very very into it]

annie/nancy endgame [sad this didnt happen but also wasnt expecting it to so]

surprise rhea, amber AND marry pat [what we deserved but never wouldve happened so fine]

the reveal that this show is set in a world where time moves differently & various characters have magical powers [shouldve happened but no one explicitly disproved it so all good]

the reveal that nevada literally does not exist [dream sequence did seem to hint it sooooooo..........]

beth like vaguely apologising to rio for shooting him but like super begrudgingly + extremely drunk [wouldve been hilarious]

annie punching dean in the face [extremely necessary]

anything which explains where nick’s been prior to this season & why it seems like he and rio have had max. 4 conversations in their life b4 said season [long suffering sigh]

a LONG dean + rio scene [longer sufferinger sigh]

ben + sara scene [longest sufferingest sigh]

final scene pans out to reveal this is all hipster hatted barman writing his memoir [lacking this genuinely a crime]

a lengthy dream sequence [!!!!! can you believe!!!!!!!!!!! i love dream sequences so much!!!!! i loved the concrete insight into beth’s psyche]

some kind of payoff to/explanation of this brother/cousin thing [sadly lacking..............althooooooooooough the way nick didnt roll on grandma....certainly leaves scope to hc she is in fact the boss so why not a fagin sitch.......actually would explain rio’s original sudden onset robbery interest better too...........]

rio discovering television [!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE!!!???!?!!]

someone explaining that all of law enforcement is gay in this universe [!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE??????!?!?!?!]

rio seeming like he has at least a second braincell [highly debatable but there are some vague hints????]

wishlist:

dean coming out [really would explain so much]

mick revealed to be the boss / rio his idiot protégé [REALLY would explain so much.....this didnt happen but i feel like the idea was at least circled????]

annie/ruby endgame [stan n beth were both fucking me off this season re ruby, this’d be delightful!]

beth-stan teamup [idk maybe they were gearing up to this for a next season or w/e but all this beth stan conflict felt pretty random & swiftly accelerated, n i think i couldve handwaved a lot of it if it led to them having to work together bc of something]

happy hills [well i was lured into a false sense of security by the s3 finale!!!!]

open ended enough ending(s) to inspire lots of fix-it fic, but not so cliffhangery that im stressed [i feel like i did mostly get this! like i can assume that beth throws kevin & vance off a bridge, ruby & annie go on the run together, mick is either dead or convinces beth she knocked him up etc etc]

turner’s revealed to have been alive this whole time [disappointed but not suprised this didnt happen]

all my ludicrous headcanons survive unscathed [just about????!]

very drunk rio [amazing, accurate etc]

anything which makes it seem like rio’s been (v drunkenly) scheming against nick all season [yea? pretty much? i’d need to rewatch s4 but i think there’s a reasonabllllly clear thread of him considering it & working up to it which sort of vaguely makes sense if you consider he’s very drunk the whole time]

nick revealed to be connected to the mra cult somehow [this wouldve been so good, but i guess the cult had no actual powers so wouldntve explained nick’s significant ones but still]

beth & rio: horrible bffs [can you believe?????!?????????!!!!!!!!! the show really said....no one else should have to hang out with them......]

dean is fed the ottoman [can’t believe this didnt happen]

jokes at the expense of cyclists (#yesallcyclists) [were there any in the last 2 eps? not enough anyway]

the fingerprints/gun just not coming back into play at all, fuckit [booooooo]

confirmation of offscreen beth/rio boning but not specifying exactly when in canon so we forever get to try to work out when makes the most sense [technically this didnt happen........but also it kinda diiiiiiiiiiiiiid currently pretty sold on end of penultimate ep]

the girls being successful at crime [a moment of this! how lovely! couldve done with far more but hey ho]

ANNIE COMING CRIME CLEAN TO BEN [implied actually i think????!]

someone referring to it as whiskey instead of bourbon [CAN YOU BELIEVE?????!!!!!!]

bitchlist:

annie/kevin endgame [ew. i mean it’s not, bc beth is going to throw him off a bridge, but ew all the fucking same]

the return of boomer, noah and/or doc whosit [can’t believe we escaped qf]

the return of those weird con artists who scammed a car [thank fucking fuck]

stressful cliffhanger(s) with no obvi resolution [feel like this was kind of escaped?!]

stan-dean bff-ship [what. no. stan doesnt deserve this. what. WHAT]

s2 finale vibes / violence, gore etc [hmm, just abt avoided? i didnt enjoy watching beth get shot multiple times but also it wasnt super gory which good i guess but that also cheapened the whole thing so....idk i think this wouldve worked better if we’d seen beth receive the annie’s been arrested gutpunch?]

beth getting shot espec as a cliffhanger [well! i didnt hate it like i thought i would but this whole thing felt v rushed]

anything which makes rio seem like a sadist [i wouldve found this to be supremely retconny and im v glad it didnt happen!]

the ot3 split up [i thought i wouldve hated this bc that relationship/friendship was the core of the show, BUT i dont think crime (unless theyre super sequestered from the consequences somehow) is in my hea for annie, ruby or stan, and it def IS for beth n rio so....... yea im actually v into the horrible ot3 of beth rio n beth’s gigantic handbag being forced to hang out while noone else ever has to see them ever again!!!!!]

rape jokes [im tired]

ruby & annie’s friendship getting super short shrift [im sad. this whole beth n stan conflict just seemed to obliterate any thought or mention of annie n ruby’s friendship?!]

things i wouldntve even thought to put on the bitchlist:

mick betraying annie & rio at the same time (?!) [that is......kinda what happened....? i think....? like am i supposed to think rio didnt noticed mick was on nick’s payroll or he did and he’s now the benevolent patron saint of all used ppl or....................you what? also like is mick just a super mercenary pragmatist bc way more into it if so haha]

beth + rio kinda getting a happy ending while annie, ruby & stan don’t (???!??!) [legitimately hilarious but also im gonna say an ODD choice]

nick having a gay assistant who does some intense method acting via dating apps pretending to be straight so he can.............send selfies to his father.................? (???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!) [i mean, i AM kinda obsessed ngl but like.................did this make any kind of sense to anyone????? it was like audience misdirect on steroids!!!]

insane quantities of chili’s product placement (??!?!) [was there always so much product placement in this show?????]

no real resolution to this beth-ruby-stan conflict (!!!!???!?!) [this got too repetitive and too drawn out and too preposterous, maybe it was building to something for a next season but i think it needed actual payoff. and the payoff shouldve been annie/ruby endgame or beth-stan scategories champions or both]

the continuation of the beth-stan conflict not involving any further beth-stan scenes (??!?!?!?!??!) [can handwave just abt anything if it involves christina + reno scenes! don’t care! could watch them act together for days! communicating via coleslaw and increasingly nonsensical plans.....not so much of a fan]

beth getting shot in the shoulder and going down like a bag of bricks (??????!?!?!) [clunky audience misdirects like this make me v sour, they couldve easily inserted a tripping over something reveal bit into the dream sequence, or had a line abt shock later or smthn just to not make it so silly]

too much ambiguity to the timings/knowledge of the endings.......? [im kiiiinda in two minds abt this bc i do like the open-endedness as it allows you to insert what you want to a degree but ultimately im actually CONFUSED. DOES beth know that annie’s been arrested? does ruby? do gregggg n nancy?????? is ruby leaving with stan or not? does stan have even a single opinion on annie, would the fact that she’s in trouble change his mind about anything? has dean intentionally or not been poisoning stan via the hot tub? does beth know that stan n potentially ruby are leaving?? is mick alive? DOES BETH KNOW THAT RIO DIDNT SEND HIM TO SHOOT HER? (my money’s actually on no still fgfgffhf) is kevin sticking around to like raise ben????????? how much/does ben know abt annie’s crime stuff???? why/ is vance alive? why didnt ruby realise that getting dean hopped up on sugar n convincing him to beat vance to death is a great plan???? also: the biggest problem with it being confusing is im concerned im going to have to see more screenshots of bill krebs’ waffling which is unfortunate bc to start with he’s clearly not real]

that song which played us out [i dont entirely know what a blind melon is but i did NOT like that song. im not saying it deffo shouldve been de la soul instead but like.....there are a lot of songs about numbers and threes and stuff that dont make me feel like someone’s climbed into my ear canal with a pick axe yknow]

ummmmm im not sure if tagging anyone really makes sense at this juncture but if you wanna yell further pls consider yourself tagged/back!!!!

#nbc good girls #tv #bourbon isnt real #nev*da isnt real #b*ll krebs DEF isnt real #Time is fake #Obvi #Something

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krisisanerd · 2 years

Note

Can you maybe add my dsmpsona blog on the masterlist (/not forced) ? It's @sperespectre ! It's fine if not !!

OH SHIT SORRY yes!! also NEVER worry about asking me to add u, ESP IF I FOLLOW UR BLOG if i follow ur blog that means i meant to add you and forgot which i do sometimes lmfaoo

I THINK I MEAN TOT POST THIS BUT the rules for getting added are this:

Must have an about/at least one post.

I have to have seen it (if i haven't seen ur blog yet and you want to be added dm, send an ask, reply to the post, GET A HOLD OF ME i will add u dw!)

For an oc blog to be added, it has to interact with DSMP rp blogs.

Must be at least mostly dedicated to rp (if a blog interacts w/ DSMP rp blogs but is in actuality just a regular user, it will not be added. This is for clarity’s sake.)

if you meet all these requirements then FEEL FREE i never get like upset or anything abt people asking to be added dw! <3 <3 and again if i follow ur acc and don't add u and it's been a while REMIND ME LOL IM SO HORRIBLE AT REMEMBERING JFKILFWJFWJF

#kris to not kris communication #WELCOME TO THE LIST BTW YOU'VE BEEN ADDED HEHEHE #sorry for like ranting under ur ask but this is stuff i think needs to be said yknow #the list is not exclusive in any way shape or form i prommy #well it IS inclusive there is a general Vibe Check (breaking cc boundaries extreme inactivity rping the ccs not the cs etc)#(or if a blog has been involved in like extreme discourse ! i also dont include the blob blogs cuz im p sure they have their own list lol)

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pilotheather · 3 years

Note

hey i never really watched or followed the chibnall era what was wrong with his writing that made people happy he’s gone

i think this will get you different opinions based on who you ask.

a LOT of people were extremely unhappy with the s12 timeless child plot twist. which, if you don't know: basically he redestroyed gallifrey, and revealed the doctor is not a timelord at all, but was instead the progenitor OF the timelords (a child that kept regenerating, even when they died) and that she was tortured on as a child, being repeatedly killed to realise the secret behind her regenerative abilities, to create the timelord race and then had her mind wiped.

which, im not a fan of. some ppl are? but mostly it panned: lots of ppl are unhappy, bc theyre saying it's "ruining the lore"; personally i dont mind since dw is fast and loose with its canon - and im moreso unhappy about centreing the doctor as, like, the big important chosen one in the universe (like blech) bc its just such a stale narrative decision.

but even before that there was a lot of criticism of chibnalls writing. and again: ur gonna get different opinions on who you ask. there's, uh, for example... a LOT of ppl (off tumblr, mostly) who tout it as sjw bullshit (yawn) bc of jodie and the diverse tardis team. that's bs outrage over nowt, ofc. but like- other than that its just... the writing. yeah, some ppl like it but ik a lot are unahppy with it for different reasons.

and to, like, summarise my own thoughts on chibbers writing: there's LOTS of little things that sort of build up for me. but at the crux of it? personally i dont think the man can write sci-fi - like, at all. thats my own personal main gripe with him. i hear he's good at straightforward drama: whilst ive never seen broadchurch myself, a lot of ppl whose opinions i trust liked it well enough; and furthermore, when it came to torchwood, he did have one or two eps in there that i liked in premise. however, when it comes to sci-fi, i respectfully think he just flounders. like he just cant integrate those other skills he has into a scifi story. the tardis was super overcrowded in s11&s12 (and that brought its own issues) but even still it was sort of... laughable, how much development the companions got. a lot of the time they'd sit there like pints of milk and just?? not really do anything? it got a little better in s12- but its like... he doesnt know how to handle a sci-fi storyline, whilst also exploring the characters in tandem and its like theyre just theyre as objects to move things along. its really fuckin weird.

like, in the most recent episode (last years NY's special, Revolution of the Daleks) the pacing was so strange. there's this whole section in the middle of all the action, where they just STOP and talk inside of the tardis. and don't get me wrong - i dont mind a heart to heart! but a lot of the companions are, like, purely telling and not showing their personality msot of the time - and thats it! its so... stale. they just stand around, state something about themselves and then just do nothing half the time? bc he just doesn't know how to use them in the stories. unlike in rtd or moffat era, where you'd have the companions jumping in and actually interacting with stuff- you'd know its just... like theyre being swept away by the plot. and you could frankly cut them out of almost all of the episodes, replace them with a sonic screwdriver or some other technobabble and it just wouldnt make any damn difference to the vibe of the ep, which is a shame bc they had PROMISE as ideas but they just don't pull their weight.

and i think that's just... super unfortunate. bc a lot of the pull with nuwho especially IS the companions and their personalities and when theyre just flat cardboard cutouts its got no energy. not to mention, like, the companions really facilitate a lot of the plots themselves- not the other way round! having companions ask questions, explore, and make decisions and react to stuff... that's IMPORTANT to really realising a lot of it. there's been a lot of times in eps where i was watching it and i just WANTED desperately for one of them to do something, to ask the doctor about it but like... she kind of just stands around and talks to herself? then there's a canned comment abt how theyre the #fam? its like. ok.

and then its like- maybe if they were being pushed to the side, and the show was servicing plot over characters that would be ONE thing but its also like i get a LOT of insecurity in general from chris when it comes to sci-fi writing, too. which ok, dude. but its like- he'll introduce a concept, but never fully explore it; he'll just drop it, and introduce something else; and then drop that and move on. and its like... we dont get any actual playing with whats going on? its like-

its just all... ultimately very superficial. like ai generated doctor who. i dont want to say it hasnt got heart, but sometimes it really feels like it you know? and a lot of it is just.. flat. because you can bring in lots of cool stuff (visuals, bring back jack, build a found family type, give us a fun quirky doctor) but if you just don't actually put work into making it all happen then its just going to be like, pretty wrapping paper on an empty box, yeah? and so its like- its like theres PIECES in a lot of s11 and s12 that are right, and they're fine, and they could make for good stories but he just doesn't know how to use them. like, at all.

and there's honestly like. a lot of other... smaller things that i could mention. i feel like theres just like... lots of little issues wrong with it all, but theyre all so fundamental and they all just build up and its just- it just culminates in bad writing, man. not moffat type of bad. but just... nothing interesting at best; frustrating at worst.

ofc theres ppl who will disagree with me and like it and thats fine. and theres also ppl who will have other things they dont like abt it that they can bring up. i would advise lookin thru ppl talking abt it on here more, omg. get a nice lil crossection of all the little messes ppl babble on abt.

#egg yells back

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woanonna · 5 years

Note

killing eve asks are 2 sexy to ignore i SWEAR this is the last time I’ll assault ur inbox 1, 7, 26, 30

dw im consenting : ) um this got long cut

1 what was your first thought or one of your first thoughts about the show?

the very first scene was like hmm ok what is this gonna be. then i was like ohhh yes copy his smile i see you you empathy-lacking demon i know im gonna love you even if you cut someone’s head off. then i was blank staring in shock bc it seemed like literally everything i had ever been looking for no lie i felt “this seems like it could be it” and then i found the love of my life ☺️

7 favorite Unloved songs that have played on the show?

i like all of them but these are delicious and sexy:

sigh, her, fail we may sail we must, cry baby cry, we are unloved, no friend of mine, sombre

26 what’s a song that you think is a total villaneve song?

uh my playlist has 275 songs. only like 100 are really villaneve songs, the rest are kinda but mostly the vibe. let’s go with these bc they’re 100% and the first i thought of. this will definitely turn u off sending me ask memes:

bad woman, hard rain, so sad so sexy, better alone - lykke li

it’s not u it’s me - bea miller (after s2 when they’re both being moody and pissed off)

ofc one way or another - blondie

sick - donna missal

heavy in your arms, wish that you were here, howl - f+tm

from eden, it will come back, nobody - hozier

hostage billie eilish, bored billie eilish, bury a friend billie eilish, where’s that post abt what kind of villaneve song whore you are bc im billie eilish, watch, my strange addiction, bad guy billie eilish

talk show host - radiohost

walk alone - pvris

don’t you know, feel something - jaymes young

kill of the night - gin wigmore

kiss - lil peep

why didn’t you stop me, liquid smooth, abbey - mitski

love love love - of monsters and men

my obsession - pale waves

also fresh eyes - andy grammer for fun :)

(one of those) crazy girls - paramore

motion sickness - phoebe bridgers

killer shangri-lah from the ke soundtrack

monsters - ruelle

razorback - rachel mallin

dark eyes - sergei trofanov

wolf - skott

beautiful crime - tamer

an unhealthy obsession - brso

where evil grows - the poppy family

crave - tove lo

killing me to love you - vancouver sleep clinic

i can’t think of anybody but u - vista kicks

vlinder van een zomer

on the run - wrenn

if someone wan the whole playlist hmu. if u wanna drag me for my music taste hmu

30 what are your overall thoughts about the season 2 finale?

um i had thoughts. events of it were fine. liked them tbh. didn’t like vibe bc it felt suddenly weirdly predatory dyke and nonconsensual. personally i will never be more in love with anything than s1 so that’s just a given, doesn’t mean i don’t love the rest of the show (@ those who freaked out that ppl had any criticisms like it’s not allowed... y’all entirely wack)

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plsdonttellmay · 6 years

Text

|3!7(|-|

A look into the Iron Kids group chat between Harley, Peter, and Riri.

Sequel to Bold of You

Translation for Harley’s nonsense at the bottom

Spider-Son: @Son Prime Mr. Stark totally just admitted that Riri was his favorite.

Son Prime: wut???? thts blsht >:((((

Spider-Son changed their name to Pun-Son

Pun-Son: IKR?

Dad’s Favorite: HA! I fucking told you

Son Prime: fuk off riri

Pun-Son: Ya, this is a private conversation.

Dad's Favorite: Y’all are the dumbasses having a “private conversation” in the group chat

Pun-Son: Shit

Really?

I thought @ing him would make it private.

Oops

Son Prime: pete i lov n rspct u but ur a fukn dumbass

Dad's Favorite: This is why dad loves me most

Pun-Son: ;’((((

Whatever.

Anyway

So,,,,

The rest of the team knows you guys exist now.

Son Prime: shiiiiiiiiiiiit

Dad's Favorite: What happened?

Is everyone okay?

Are you okay?

Is Tony okay?

Pun-Son: Ya, everyone's fine, dw.

Son Prime: thn wut hpnd????

Pun-Son: IDK???

Mr. Stark just said I did a good job

And then fucking Captain America was like

“Hey, everybody it's Peter Parker!”

Dad's Favorite: Damn. So now they all know?

Son Prime: thats ruf buddy

Pun-Son: Nah, it's fine.

I panicked and then said that Mr. Stark had lots of kids

And that Peter and Spider-Man were totally different kids.

Son Prime: wow. cnt blev u managed 2 lie 2 captain america

i figd he cld smell lies

or that u would spontaneously combust if u tried

tht was specific 2 u btw

Dad's Favorite: Has anyone ever told you you're a dick?

Son Prime: not 2 my face but thts what i assume theyre saying wen they dub chek tht mr tony isnt my real dad.

Dad's Favorite: Not a bad assumption ngl

Pun-Son: Also, point of order, didn't lie

I just,,,,,,,

Implied.

Heavily.

To the point of lying.

But didn't cross that line.

Son Prime: wow pete ur a saint

Dad's Favorite: They bought it? Just like that?

Pun-Son: TBH they were way more interested in the group chat.

Like, they legit forgot they were trying to figure out who Spider-Man is.

I told Cap your usernames.

Dad's Favorite: Well I'm glad the team knows the truth now

Son Prime: wut? abt mr tony runin a daycare?

Dad's Favorite: No about me being his favorite

Dad's Favorite: Hey guys??? College fucking blows. I'm gonna murder whoever came up with it

Son Prime: sup riri?

Dad's Favorite: Literally just told you. College blows

The Live-in: *break dances gently*

What's wrong, Riri?

Son Prime: atm u if i had 2 ges

Dad's Favorite: Mostly that you're trying to comfort me via meme.

SHIT

Beat me to it

Son Prime: :p

The Live-in: You guys are the worst.

Dad's Favorite: You're the one who decided to be the middle child

The Live-in: WTF, no, I didn't??

Also, Harley is literally less than 4 months older than me.

Son Prime: god pete ur practically an infant cmpared to me

The Live-in: -_______-

Can we go back to talking about Riri’s problems now?

Please?

For the love of science.

Dad's Favorite: Nah I'm good actually. Roasting you is way more interesting

The Live-in: THE W O R S T

Son Prime: srsly tho. u ok riri?

Dad's Favorite: Yeah I'm fine. Just got assigned a group project

The Live-in: Was it at least a class you have a friend in?

Dad's Favorite: Peter literally everyone in that class is 7+ years older than me. If I had friends do you think I'd talk to you two?

The Live-in: Yes

Because you love us.

You've said so.

Son Prime: hes got a point

Dad's Favorite: Lies and slander

The Live-in: Seriously, though.

Are you good?

Dad's Favorite: Yeah. It's not like they're actively mean to me or anything. It just sucks not having friends

Son Prime: tell us if they start bn dicks. pete n i will kick thr asses. we r still ur big bros

Dad's Favorite: Yeah I know <3

God I can’t wait until you two are finally here and I actually have someone to talk to for once.

The Live-in: Yeah!!!!

We should get an apartment.

And a dog.

A secret dog.

Dad’s Favorite: Why is the dog secret???

The Live-in: Because I can’t have a dog at my apartment.

And your mom is allergic to dogs.

And Harley’s little sister is scared of dogs.

So it would have to live with dad over the summer.

And he won’t let us get a dog if he knows ahead of time.

That’s why a secret dog.

Dad’s Favorite: Hell yes secret dog.

The Live-in: I vote pitbull.

Son Prime: sum1 convinse me not 2 murder ths lady

Peter PARKOUR: ?????????

???????

?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?

Harley, WTF you can't just say that and then not elaborate.

Dad's Favorite: Siding with Peter here. Who are you trying to murder Keener?

Peter PARKOUR: Dude.

Seriously??

Are you literally ignoring us right now?

HARLEY, YOU HAVE YOUR READ RECEIPTS ON!

Son Prime: Read: 3:23

Dad's Favorite: Harley I swear to god you're going in the nearest lake first time we meet

Peter PARKOUR: Wait.

Hold on a damn minute.

Are you telling me?

The two of you haven't actually met??

Like IRL???

Dad's Favorite: Yeah. I mean we Skype and text plenty but we've never been in the same room

Peter PARKOUR: That's wild??

I mean

I know the three of us haven't been together

But I figured you had met without me.

Son Prime: wait. wen did u 2 meet?

Dad's Favorite: Figures that's what gets his attention instead of murder

Peter PARKOUR: When I went to tour MIT?

Have you and Mr. Stark not gone yet?

Son Prime: nope

Peter PARKOUR: Why not??

Son Prime: i dunno. keep puttin it off

Dad's Favorite: I smell a lie. I don't know what it is but you better watch your back Harley. I will find out

Son Prime: ok baskin robin

Peter PARKOUR: Can we get back to the murder?

I feel like we glossed over that.

Son Prime: no

Dad's Favorite: No point. Either they decided to leave Harley alone

Peter PARKOUR: Or??

Dad's Favorite: Or they're dead

Son Prime: & ull nvr kno

Peter PARKOUR: You two need to chill.

And meet.

Seriously, we've been talking for a year

And you two haven't even laid eyes on each other.

H O W?

Dad's Favorite: Let's start with the fact that we live like 20 hours away from each other?

Peter PARKOUR: I'm not even going to grace that with an answer.

Actually

I am

Mr. Stark has like a fleet of planes??

You could literally make a day trip out of it.

Son Prime: hes actually got a point…

Peter PARKOUR: I almost always have a point.

You two just ignore me.

Because you're assholes.

Dad's Favorite: That's fair

Dad's Favorite: @Son Prime

I saw this and thought of you

Peter In The Middle: WHAT

THE

FUCK

IS THAT THING EVEN REAL??

Dad's Favorite: Lol yeah. Saw it at the thrift store

Son Prime: What I want to know is why the FUCK it reminded you of me.

Peter In The Middle: Oh damn.

He broke out the capitals and full words.

He's serious.

Son Prime: Actually it's just a new phone Mr. Tony sent me. Can't figure out how to turn off the damn autocorrect

Dad's Favorite: Why is it that you 2 are geniuses but can't figure out how phones work half the time?

Son Prime: Excuse you this is 1 of those prototype StarkPhones that literally nobody knows how to use yet.

Peter in the Middle: Are you really never gonna let the group chat thing die?

Dad's Favorite: No

Son Prime: Absolutely not.

Peter in the Middle: It was one (1) time you assholes.

Son Prime: I feel like we’re forgetting about the horror show that somehow reminded Riri of me.

Peter in the Middle: I was.

Trying to, at least.

Thanks for the reminder.

Dad’s Favorite: I’m not forgetting. Ever

Son Prime: Explain???

Dad’s Favorite: Should I tho?

Peter in the Middle: Depends.

Do you want me to show Mr. Stark The Video?

Dad’s Favorite: You wouldn’t

Peter in the Middle: Try me, bitch.

Son Prime: Video????

Dad’s Favorite: Don’t worry about it

Peter in the Middle: I’ll send it to you later.

Dad’s Favorite: I hate you

Peter in the Middle: :D

Cow mug.

Now.

Dad’s Favorite: It says Tennessee on it.

Peter in the Middle: Wait.

That’s it?

No inside joke????

Dad’s Favorite: Nope

Peter in the Middle: What the fuck?

Now I feel dumb.

Dad’s Favorite: :))))))

Son Prime: |-|4 ! |=!6(_)|23|) !7 0(_)7

Dad's Favorite: What the fuck does that even say??

Peter in the Middle: Is that???

Even approaching English??

Son Prime: |\|0 !7$ |_337

Dad's Favorite: Stop

Son Prime: |\/|4|{3 |\/|3

Dad's Favorite has kicked Son Prime out of the Iron Kids group

Peter in the Middle: Harley is texting me

Saying to tell you to unblock him.

He has something important to say.

Dad's Favorite has added Son Prime to the Iron Kids group

Son Prime:

|3!7(|-|

Dad's Favorite has kicked Son Prime out of the Iron Kids group

Peter in the Middle: Fair and valid.

Dad's Favorite has kicked Peter in the Middle out of the Iron Kids group

Dad's Favorite: Finally I am free

Son Prime: guess who got his xseptns letter!!!!!!!!

Dad’s Favorite: Holy shit!!!! Harley that’s fucking amazing!!!!!!

Potor Purkur: Yessssssss!!!!

Dude, that’s amazing!!!!!!!!!!

Also????

How did you get yours early???

MIT letters aren’t supposed to go out for another week??

Did Mr. Stark pull strings?

BUT ALSO CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Son Prime: na tony dnt do nythng

Potor Purkur: ???????????

Son Prime: xseptns snt 4 mit

Dad’s Favorite: Was it a backup or something?

Son Prime: or smthn

Dad’s Favorite: I swear this is worse than pulling teeth. Spill.

Son Prime: i nvr actuly applied 4 mit

Dad’s Favorite: So that’s the real reason you never came to visit. You weren’t just putting it off.

Potor Purkur: Did you ever even plan on going to MIT?

Son Prime: hell no. ive had ths place n mind since middle school

Potor Purkur: Well?

What is it?

Come on, dude.

Son Prime: u hv 2 prms not 2 tell mr tony

Dad’s Favorite: Sure.

Son Prime: com on @Potor Purkur u gotta prms

Potor Purkur: I promise.

Well, I promise to try.

I’m kind bad at secrets, actually.

But so long as he doesn’t ask

I’m fine.

I promise.

Son Prime: how do u evn hv a scret id @ ths point

Potor Purkur: Honestly??

No idea.

All of Queens should know by now TBH

But

That has literally nothing to do with your college.

Dad’s Favorite: Yeah cmon Harls. Spill.

Son Prime: I’m totally serious right now. Don’t tell Mr. Tony. I want to tell him myself.

Potor Purkur: Promise.

Dad’s Favorite: On my life.

Son Prime: ok hr it goz.

im goin to caltech

guys?

its bn lik 5 min. wts up

Potor Purkur: Holy sHIT

Are you serious??

Dad’s Favorite: You men caltech as in the school in Pasadena California? MIT’s biggest rival since ever? The school Tony loudly talks about how much he hates? THAT caltech?

Son Prime: …

…

yes

Potor Purkur: Holy shit.

*_*_*_*_*

Spider-Son: Hey, guys?

I think dad might have accidentally,,,,,,,,

Built a murder bot.

Again.

Dad's Favorite: W H A T

Son Prime: u ok? r u fiting it???

Spider-Son: No.

No, you see,,,,

The murder bot,,,,,,,

Is actually,,,,,,,,,,,

Karen.

Dad's Favorite: …

Son Prime: ..............

Dad's Favorite: Explain

Spider-Son: Well.

You know how my suit has an Instant Kill Mode?

And Karen keeps trying to make me use it?

Dad's Favorite: Yeah??

Son Prime: i dnt thnk tht counts as “accidentally"

jst irresponsible

Spider-Son: That's what I thought too.

But we're in the jet.

Headed for the mission.

And I joke that I should use IKM.

And Mr. Stark freaks out.

Dad's Favorite: Why???

Spider-Son: Here's the thing.

Mr. Stark.

Didn't make an Instant Kill Mode.

Karen did that.

By herself.

Dad's Favorite: Holy shit

Son Prime: dude wut the FUCK

Spider-Son: I K N O W

Son Prime: uve befriended her at least. hopfully she remains loyal during the robo revolution.

Spider-Son: Karen says hi BTW.

Dad's Favorite: Fantastic. Maybe she'll spare us as well

Spider-Son: Karen says, and I quote, “I don't know about that.”

Son Prime: /sweats/

Dad's Favorite: I'm not even sure how I feel about this tbh

On the one hand: possibly evil robot

On the other: if she's joking this is some seriously cool coding

Son Prime: i have xactly 0 mixed feelings. murder bot bad

Spider-Son: Mr. Stark offered to change her code when we got back.

Son Prime: thk god

Spider-Son: I said no.

Son Prime: W H Y

Spider-Son: Because I love Karen just the way she is.

And she loves me.

Dad's Favorite: Okay, I've decided. That is a seriously cool ai

Son Prime: a srsly cool ai thts gonna kill us all

Spider-Son: Karen promises to spare you.

If you buy me a milkshake.

Son Prime: i cnt bleve my terminator trauma is being taken advantage of by a murder bot.

Spider-Son: :P

Dad's Favorite: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Spider-Son: Oh my God

You actually sent me money for a milkshake.

Nice.

I'm getting strawberry.

Son Prime: fuk u

Son Prime: @Dad's Favorite wut r u doin n june

Dad's Favorite: Probably nothing? Idk I might take an online class. Mostly just hanging out at home

Son Prime: so u dnt hav ny plans 4 vacay or nythng

Dad's Favorite: Not that I know of??

Son Prime: wuts the prob tht u could get ur mom to let you go smwher 4 the month

Dad's Favorite: Depends??

What's with all the leading questions?

Son Prime: bcuz i just told my mom tht mr tony nvitd the 3 of us 2 stay at the compound in june

Dad's Favorite: He did?? Why didn't he say anything??

Son Prime: bcuz he dnt ask. im the 1 plan plannin it

Dad's Favorite: Harley what the actual fuck. Have you even asked Tony?

Son Prime: no thts peters job

Dad's Favorite: Wait Peter's in on it too? How long have you two been planning this?

Son Prime: bout 20 mins. & pete dsnt no yet

Dad's Favorite: Again wtf. Why don't you do it?

Son Prime: hv u SEEN peters puppy dog eyes

speakin of

@The Live-in nswer ur phone

@The Live-in

Dad's Favorite: @The Live-in

@The Live-in

Son Prime: @The Live-in

@The Live-in

The Live-in: Jesus Christ.

You two are awful.

I was in chemistry.

Don't you two ever go to class?

Son Prime: y bother

Dad's Favorite: I do but I know how to text in class

The Live-in: Like I said.

Awful.

Son Prime: wtevr. cn u do it or no?

The Live-in: What exactly am I even doing?

Dad's Favorite: Pretty sure you're convincing dad to let the 3 of us stay at the compound over June.

The Live-in: Oh.

Yeah.

That shouldn't be hard.

Like at all.

He's about to pick me up from school.

I'll ask in just a sec.

Son Prime: c? told u it wld b ez

The Live-in: HE SAID YES

Well, he said yes so long as we can get our moms/aunt to agree.

BUT STILL

Dad's Favorite: Holy shit!!

The Live-in: I KNOW!!

Son Prime: wer gonna get n2 so much bullshit.

The Live-in: B]

Dad's Favorite: B]

Son Prime: B]

Spider-Son: Guys, I may not come back from this mission alive.

Tell Ned I’ve always had a crush on him

Wait.

Shit.

That was just supposed to sound dumb and dramatic.

Not like something to actually worry about.

I’ll be fine.

Mr. Stark won’t let me go on the super dangerous missions.

Son Prime: i swr 2 fuk im gonna kill u parker

Dad’s Favorite: Yeah maybe that wasn’t exactly the best way to start that off.

Also if Ned doesn’t already know you’re madly in love with him then there’s no hope for either of you.

Spider-Son: #rude

One day I’ll get Ned to fall in love with me.

Then you’ll be sorry.

Dad’s Favorite: Oh honey

Son Prime: stop w/ petes crush. i wnna no y he thnks hes gonna die

Spider-Son: H I M

Dad’s Favorite: Christ what’s Rogers done now?

Spider-Son: He’s just doing That Thing again.

The one where he calls me kid and son.

I h a t e it, and IDK how to make him stop

Dad's Favorite: /Hamilton voice/ I'm not your son

Son Prime: congrats on not str8 up murdering him yet

Spider-Son: God he’s just so??

I don't know what, but I hate it.

I swear to God if he benches me again this mission I'm going to strangle him with his star-spangled tights.

Dad's Favorite: You gonna beat him upside the head until he sees…

Stars?

Spider-Son: I HATE YOU!!

I WAS TRYING TO BE MAD

AND NOW I'M GIGGLING!

NOBODY TAKES ME SERIOUS WHEN I GIGGLE!!

Son Prime: nbdy takes u srsly evr

Spider-Son: Fuck off, Keener.

Son Prime: ;P

Dad's Favorite: Hey Peter quick question tho?

Spider-Son: Quick answer.

Dad's Favorite: If you hate Rogers why don't you just not talk to him? Why do you act all polite to his face? Just tell him to fuck off and leave you alone?

Spider-Son: I wish it was that easy.

I mean

It could be

But it isn't.

I have to be polite because we're on the same team.

We're supposed to work together.

I started off kinda rude to him, but Mr. Stark fussed at me.

Apparently what we're doing is bigger than petty squabbles.

Son Prime: uhhh ths is def mr thn a petty squabble tho? mr t wtf

Dad's Favorite: What are you even saying to me right now?? Is dad not mad?

Spider-Son: NoPE.

He just goes along with whatever He says.

Right now Mr. Stark is flying the jet.

Even though it has autopilot.

So I'm left alone back here with Him.

The only other person we brought was Ant-Man and he's asleep so it's just the two of us making conversation.

I hate it.

I'm dying.

Also

I think he doesn't like me looking at my phone so much.

DEAL WITH IT OLD MAN

Son Prime: u rly do snd lik ur bout 2 die. rip n pieces pete

Dad's Favorite: I'm SO glad Tony hasn't cleared me for missions yet.

Spider-Son: I wish you were.

I need someone to hang out with on these.

Speaking of which.

I'm gonna go ask dad if he'll try to teach me to fly again.

Last time…

Did Not Go Well

Also kinda wanna make Him sick again.

It was funny last time.

If he says no the at least I'll have some time alone.

Anyway I'm out.

Talk to you after we kicked ass!

Dad's Favorite: Take a better selfie this time. Lighting was garbage in the last one.

Son Prime: brng me a robos arm

If you didn't need Harley's nonsense translated, I'm impressed. If you did, here you go. He's speaking leet for anyone interested.

|-|4 ! |=!6(_)|23|) !7 0(_)7 ~ Ha I figured it out

|\|0 !7$ |_337 ~ No it's leet

|\/|4|{3 |\/|3 ~ Make me

|3!7(|-| ~ Bitch

#fic #iron dad #iron man #tony stark #spider son #spiderman #peter parker #iron dad and spider son #fanfic #marvel fanfiction #our stuff #bee writes #tony stark's daycare program for gifted children

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