#And if anything‚ I think this polycule kind of started and developed over time with all of them hanging out rather than them deciding to go

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

How would the Prime Tails polycule first date go?

You know, I'm not quite sure what their first date as a whole group would be

Like in all honesty, their real first date is probably something like hanging out at one of Tails' labs or the Grim and just playing games before making dinner together

But if they decide to properly reveal their relationship in a bit more public manner to friends or community members, I think some people would consider their first date the date where they all go out to like a cafe or an amusement park or something.

Well, here's what I'm thinking, just for context. I don't think all of the members of the polycule are hesitant about revealing the relationship, and I can see Sails or Nine assuming that one's first date has to be something more traditionally well known as a romantic first date. Nine is a member of the polycule I can see as having to have a buffer period of getting used to all this before he can feel comfortable being clearly on a date in public, but I can see Tails as someone who doesn't subscribe to the idea of the traditional first date.

So I think because of this their real first date would be more casual. Planned, yes, but ultimately not meant to be public or exciting. And frankly, even if it is just hanging out at the lab, fixing up some stuff, making food together, playing board games or video games, while there will undoubtedly be some hiccups along the way and plans thrown out the window, I think they'll enjoy it in the end.

However, if they decide to make their public first date (when more people know about the relationship) something like going out to a restaurant? Yeah that has the potential to be a disaster. For some reason that sonic boom episode "My Fair Sticksy" comes to mind. So all I can say is that Amy probably gets them a reservation at a nice restaurant, Mangey's not dealing with the change of clothes very well (he's trying), Sails is trying his best to "act proper" and remember the "manner lessons" Amy probably gave them all, Nine is performing to the T, except he's not controlling his expressions as well as he thinks he is (so he's largely got resting bitch face. Partly because he doesn't want to be here), and Tails is trying to play damage control.

I think that kind of "first date" would end up in the group leaving early, Tails leaving a fat tip, and the polycule eating street food together under the stars instead

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic prime #saitaininegy #tailscest #tails the fox #miles tails prower #nine sonic prime #miles nine prower #nine the fox #sails sonic prime #miles sails prower #sails the fox #mangey sonic prime #miles mangey prower #mangey the fox #anon interview #sorry this one was a bit rambly #I'm not quite sure if I got this all across well‚ but they all have different ideas of romance‚ how they should make their relationship #publicly known‚ what a date is to them vs what the ideal first date should look like‚ etc #I tried to answer as best I could‚ but the truth is that I feel like they'd all disagree on what their first date really was and their #relationship will not come out publicly as planned (with certain people learning before others too) #So in reality it's all complicated and a mess #but if they had to plan out what they're calling the 'first date'‚ it probably goes more like I said in the post #And if anything‚ I think this polycule kind of started and developed over time with all of them hanging out rather than them deciding to go #on dates‚ so they really would have different ideas on what was a date and likely have technically gone on dates together before they were #officially dating (just not calling them that) #i just be ramblin #it's complicated #Thank you so much for the ask though anon!! #If you have any other questions regarding them or their relationship‚ feel free to shoot me another ask!!😊

[sunwarmed-ash]

Fic tag game!

tagged by my buddies @cuillere and @lizzy0305! thank you for this!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

93 😎

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

831,467 (holy fucking shit when did it get that long?!?!?! #ThatsWhatSheSaid

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things, Detroit become human, the breakfast club, marvel/spiderverses, Ted lasso, House MD, Harry Potter

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Tony Stark: Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, Daddy: (starker) 1074

I think I need help: (harringrove) 927

Call me Doctor: (Chase/House & Chase/House/Wilson 739

Rockabye Baby: (Wincest kinda??) 670

You know what they say about assuming. (steddiegrove) 645

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Every. Single. One. Comments are the lifeblood to my work. Its so intimidating to be posting to a empty void but y'alls comments give life to the achieve and are just as important to a WIPs development as anything I write on my own!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Idk, I have ALOT of wips without endings/one shots. Probs the most angsty one I have in general is either The New Kid or Silence isn't Golden

wait wait wait, I found a dual suicide Wincest fic, that wins

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhhhhh this Thor/Bruce fic may be the fluffiest one I have haha

8. Do you get hate on fics?

HA! yeah, but oddly its just the ones with sex work in them. Who would have guessed 🙄🙄🙄🙄

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes 😈😈😈 kink wise all over the place, from super vanilla to BDSM and anything else I can think of. Peoplewise LGBTQ and queer characters, canon or fanon, polycules. Trope wise, enemies to lovers is my fav, but I also love pining or tragic love 👌

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yes!! not too many, but I've written a few. This one isn't crazy but it is the most developed of all the wips. It's a Supernatural/The Breakfast Club crossover called Supernatural activity at shermer high

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

a few times by a bot, im really really hoping it doesn't happen again but with AI about to fuck us all out of work, im a lil worried.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! two of my Starker fics were translated into Russian and on fic book but that website got torched a few years ago :( I think I also had a reader translate a TBC fic into Portuguese

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Many! probably 20-30 at this point

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

not possible for me to choose. So here's my favs of the moment. Hankconvin800 or hankvin1700, steddiegrove, parksborn, steadyhands

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

get a few scotches in him and he'll hit on anything in a 5 mile radius.

its a cowritten work I worked on years ago and just, meh idk I dont really wanna go back to it haha

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've gotten compliments on my dialogue, dynamic character relationships, smut, and angst

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

proof reading and editing

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i never trust google translate to do a good enough job so to avoid looking like a fool i dont do it. I should try though, expand my horizons. I'm learning Danish so maybe ill make a fic using that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

all of them hold significant places in my heart. they are all pieces of me and I'm trying to learn to love all of me. And that's gotta start somewhere!

tagging all my mututals and anyone who wants to do it

@sweeteatercat @disdaidal @sweetasblack @writerwhowritesao3 @geekinglikeaboss @destroya-hargrove @kissoflightning @moviemuncherao3 @cuillere @late-to-the-party-81 @spaceofentropy @strangebrainrot @treeffles @heiko-goes-detroit

#sinful sunday #find me on ao3 #sunwarmed ash #links in bio #stranger things #i post new stuff every sunday #detroit become human #the breakfast club #house md #marvel mcu #harry potter #supernatural

[multi-lefaiye]

also what's up with the wyll/eden/astarion polycule, how'd that happen

:3c hehehe

okay so to be clear this polycule exists only in my brain/the bg3 fic i wanna write and not in the actual campaign. but it means a lot to me and makes brain go brrrr

i like to imagine this polycule starting as like... wyll and astarion each separately develop romantic feelings for eden, and they have to figure out how they want to navigate that. i want to respect the fact that, in the game, wyll specifically says he's not interested in a polyamorous relationship, so this is kind of like... a what-if scenario for a situation where i think that might be something he'd be interested in.

because i don't think this is something any of them sought out, it just kinda. happened with time.

wyll and eden get together first, having their sweet slowburn romance over the course of the adventure. and, y'know, they really care about and support each other, and it's nice to see love blooming in such a dark, scary time.

but there's this pervasive sense among the party that they're fighting a losing battle. can they really do anything to change the world, after all they've seen? sure, they're not gonna stop trying--gods know eden is a determined son of a bitch and won't back down if he thinks there's even a minuscule chance of making a difference.

but it's wearing on them, and even though eden keeps going, it's clearly wearing on him, too. there's so much going wrong, it feels like, all the goddamn time. when does it end?

then... towards the middle of act 2, wyll picks up on something he's been subconsciously aware of, but hasn't acknowledged: the very clear feelings astarion is developing for eden. the two have always butt heads, but there's an underlying affection between them that catches his attention. and, sure, he's confident that eden isn't going to be unfaithful or leave him, but at the same time it does make him nervous.

does astarion have something he doesn't? does eden *want* him the way he wants wyll? is wyll prepared to potentially have to share eden, or lose him? he doesn't think he wants the answers to those questions.

this is something in the back of his mind for a few weeks, and he finds himself watching eden and astarion a bit more closely. eden does pick up on it eventually and asks him what's wrong, but he lies and says that nothing's wrong. why would there be?

then, wyll gets *severely* hurt in a battle, nearly dying in the process. and eden fucking *loses it*. he manages to save wyll's life, but it's still gonna take time for his injuries to heal. and that makes something click in wyll's brain: there is a very real chance he won't survive this journey, that even eden's determination to claw them out of hell might not be enough to save all of them. and, if he dies, what happens then? what happens to eden?

so, wyll, the self-sacrificing bastard he is, decides that, if he dies, then someone needs to stick around for eden. and... well, if he's right, and astarion does want eden romantically, then maybe he'll fit the bill. the same day he decides that, he seeks astarion out to talk to him and tell him, hey, if i don't survive this, i want you to take care of eden.

and astarion... does not react well. he seems deeply uncomfortable with this whole conversation, especially when he's always been sure that wyll hates him. he doesn't deny having an interest in eden, but he tells wyll off for being so willing to disregard himself in this situation (and also eden's feelings, too!). bold of him to assume eden wouldn't tear the world apart for him if it came to that.

as astarion says this, wyll picks up on a note of what seems like bitterness in the vampire's voice, as though he's resigned *himself* to the role of quietly pining from the shadows, never having the closeness he actually *wants* here, not having eden care about *him* as much as he does wyll.

basically, this whole conversation gives wyll a lot to think about.

and okay i'll admit i haven't ironed out all the details from there, but i know that astarion joins the relationship wayyy down the line from there, definitely sometime in act 3. it's not something they really sit down to discuss at first, though they do down the line when they have a moment to breathe.

i DO know that i want there to be a moment where like... *eden* is the one in peril this time, and astarion and wyll have a Moment while they're rushing to save him where it really clicks for them that... oh. yeah. at the end of the day, they both care about him, and maybe that *is* enough. they can both protect him and keep him happy, if he so chooses.

the dynamic is like. eden is dating both wyll and astarion, though wyll and astarion aren't dating each other. they might consider it at some point, but i don't think it's something they'd really want to go for.

and i'll be honest that i'm not sure if this particular dynamic would *work* long-term. maybe it could! maybe not! but it at least works for the moment they're in, even if it's rocky at times. eden has two hands.

the dynamic in my brain is like... wyll and astarion both love and care deeply about eden. eden loves and cares deeply about both of them. they team up to keep their little devil safe and in their arms, so they don't lose him as he throws himself into danger to protect them.

(also i know this isn't going much into eden's perspective, but i will be honest i'm a bit self conscious about how long this got lmao. another time, perhaps. idk idk i just love them so much)

#talk to the bunnykitty #jaye!!! #bg3 #ask game #moths to a flame

[mcalhenwrites]

I've started picking at a new world with new characters. Due to moving twice in about two weeks (once from Kansas to [omitted], then from sewage shithole apartment to normal apartment), things have been hectic and I haven't been able to talk about anything. I have posted two short practice stories about Hervey and Algernon (with Ray in one of them). Both of them involve spanking punishments between littles and their caregivers. Horror Movie Night Excerpt: “Daddy, please. I don’t want a…” Such a stupid word, “spanking”. I can’t ever say it out loud. Thinking it is enough to make me queasy.

He grasps my hips in his fingers and glances up at me with soft, caring eyes. “If you didn’t want one, why did break my rules, knowing I’d give you one when I found out? And I always find out, sweet pea.”

“It’s a stupid rule.”

“No, it’s a rule put in place so you sleep well, because horror movies give you nightmares and make you skittish for days—sometimes weeks! I know you haven’t forgotten that. You’re not allowed to watch them unless I’ve checked the content and we view them together. Maybe if you were better at distinguishing fiction from reality, this wouldn’t be such a problem and we wouldn’t need a rule about what you consume.” Summoning Circle Excerpt:

“Am I going to have to start spanking you two just to get answers?”

Ray is the one who breaks down and swivels around, eyes full of tears as he rushes through his answer. “It wasn’t a summoning! It was communication.” He sounds so proud of his use of a big word. “Hervey said we could talk to nice ghosts if we used pretty-scented candles.”

“That is not how that works, kiddo.”

“It isn’t?” Ray glances over at Hervey, who slips down further onto the couch.

“No, it isn’t. The candles aren’t important—the spirits within the vicinity are, and you can’t guarantee they’ll all be nice.”

I hate having to admit that ghosts are real. This fascination Hervey has with them could put him in serious danger if he makes contact with a vicious spirit.

One of the biggest rules I grew up with was never to mess around with the supernatural, because it could mean accidentally bringing unruly spirits into a home. There are other ways it can backfire as well. Some people are forced to move because their current residence is filled with malicious ghosts. ~*~ I'm still working out a lot of the details. I have some pairs and even a polycule, but I'm still developing characters and the world. The gist is that Hervey - along with quite a few people who identify as littles - have a fascination with the supernatural. I won't spoil why, just that it's kind of important. Not all littles are like this, but... Yeah. There is a reason. One that no one quite understands yet. Ray does tend to go along with whatever Hervey does, though, because his own fascination is overriden by his fear. :') Doris is their designated driver for checking out creepy places. She's a trans girl in a polycule with two mommies, and she's "older" in that she can drive and work a lot better than Hervey (who has a part-time job) and Ray (who can't work at all). I consider them more "middles" than "littles" in cases like Doris and Hervey, but still... that's just because their related ages are a little older. This universe has a lot of littles and caregivers who tend to congregate in their own communities. ...Which means I get to write a lot of public spankings hahahaha I love fiction >:)

[blanketorghost]

HI I REALLY ADORE UR LL DRAWINGS the way u draw is so :((( cute im so obssessed,, what are ur feelings about rime/thoughts on rime/felix/mc since its such a popular ship rn?

I'm mostly mono so its not my cup of tea personally!! But I DEF love how complex the whole relationship (romantic or platonic or love corner/triangle-y) between felix, MC and Rime.

I feel for each and every one of them and their specific struggles to romance (AT LEAST my iwn interpretation of MC because I sometimes find the LL mc extremely slappable in a non sexy way)

Felix's ritual seemingly failing is a v important point on my own hcs because I think that experiencing loss for the second time is what really allows him to finally grieve properly and let go of his unresolved feelings for Rime; since it put the nail on the coffin on how Rime would really never be back.

For my MC, they immediately caught on that the ritual was to revive Felix's past lover (i thought it was obvious when i first played?? Haha) so Noel feels extremely guilty and unfit to be in Astraea. As they develop a crush on Felix, they start feeling even WORSE because they know all those sweet words and soft glances that made them swoon in the beginning were never meant for them, and as such they feel like a cheap replacement and an intruder in Felix's world; Even after Felix starts showing hints of attraction towards them.

Felix has mentioned time and time again how guilty he feels he stole MC from their life back on earth and has involved them in his own messy family problems, so I imagine he must feel like absolute shit over how much he loves MC, wishing theyd stay with him and abandon earth knowing how selfish that is

I feel for Rime the most I think... and thats why I think I can't bring myself to fully hate him despite how much I want to sock him in the face in his scenes. He was robbed of a peaceful death (which to me, a death lover and extremely death positive person felt like a punch to the gut); then, when he finally got himself through hell to be back with the person he loves, he finds out Felix, the love of his life, has moved on! With the person that usurped his revival ritual no less! I feel its very interesting how in Ch5 Rime mentions how he won't allow us to steal Felix from him, which is weird at first given MC and Felix at that point were kind of sort of flirting but very passively? Kind of like dancing around each other's feelings. If anything, Rime killing us was the catalyst for Felix and MC to get together so imagine the FRUSTRATION he must feel. Esp since after Ch5, Rime must feel like he has no purpose anymore; He was brought back to life BECAUSE Felix is in love with him... so if Felix doesn't love him anymore, what else can he do?

Do I think Felix still loves Rime? 100%. Felix's feelings must be SO complicated and he must feel in between a rock and a hard place with his feelings for two people he feels he owes so much to. Is his love strictly romantic, though? Or has it morphed through time to other kinds of love? That's up to the reader! I myself believe Felix is going through this phase where his romantic feelings for rime ar morphing into smth more platonic and a kinship. Maybe starting to recognize how unhealthy his desire to bring Rime back was? Hm.

Do I think they could work as a polycule? No idea! I am not knowledgeable enough to give my opinions but I def see how it would appeal as a VERY good hurt/comfort kind of ship

I myself, prefer to make my MCs suffer :3c

#last legacy mc #last legacy felix #last legacy rime #ask #noel villamil (last legacy) #guys i could ramble about the complexities of rime/felix/mc for days DONT indulge me

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au part 8

post directory

obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym

em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker

obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck

em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and

em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens

[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]

[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]

obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones

obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color

obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals

obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym

em: it’s about Matching

em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then

obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts

em: YES

obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there

obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"

obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"

viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?

dani: yeah?

em: god cute

obsetress: cute n dumb

em: they can share nearly everything except pants

em: well. pants as a treat

em: haha pants

em: trousers

obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens

obsetress: hahahah pants

obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they

em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas

em: should they

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS

obsetress: anyway

obsetress: rebecca just laughs

obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"

em: dani jamie wearing like

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

em: poor viola

obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those

em: yeah....

em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long

obsetress: big blush jamie taylor

em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: just ogling each other

obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)

em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks

obsetress: omg all i want

obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway

em

And That’s Beautiful

obsetress

obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs

viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass

rebecca: minding her business

jamie: scowling n scrawny

obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)

obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here

are they a polycule? what

em: jamie probably like

em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like

em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny

obsetress: i can see that

obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out

em: jamie ‘why don’t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor

obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am

em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over

em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh

obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it

obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy

obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?

dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?

jamie: than yesterday

dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know

jamie: do they look bigger at all?

dani: well

em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area

em: poor jamie

em: not playing to her strengths

obsetress: yeah she does

obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms

obsetress: she's just wiry

em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif

obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"

em: dani: you gotta like. eat more

jamie: i eat plenty

dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner

obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more

em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein

obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––

em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty

obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child

obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring

obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"

obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start

em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane

em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts

obsetress: she hates it

obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst

em: do u think dani ever like

em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that

em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough

em: it’s Not

em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over

em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i'm obsessed with this

obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this

em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic

em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week

obsetress: inevitably

obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean

obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"

obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"

obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table

em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again

em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith

em: and every time

em: every time she does

em: she’s tryna HELP

obsetress: she would too she'd be like

obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"

obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"

em: i’m on a mission to figure out like

em: this is way way down the line

em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other

em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it

obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like

obsetress: the UAE

obsetress: negotiating some Deal

obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like

obsetress: "i think i miss vi"

em: she’s HORRIFIED

em: she tries to play it off as like um

em: she’s Too Comfortable

em: things are Too Boring

em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie

em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola

em: danis like god i wish i was recording this

obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her

obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"

em: CUTE

em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret

em: vi's like when have i EVER

em: she does

obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still

em: this is wholesome tbh

em: i really like the damie stories where like

em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff

em: dunno how to articulate that well

em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance

obsetress: yeah! exactly

obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk

obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but

obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk

obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"

em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt

em: it’s too big

em: OR

em: child’s t-shirt

obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)

obsetress: oh childs might be better

obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."

em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch

em: she feels too much

obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch

obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"

em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just

em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani

em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"

em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile

obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god

obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it

em: jamies like fok

em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra

em: she Doesn’t

obsetress: she Doesn't!

obsetress: (she's shy)

em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like

em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something

obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."

em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her

em: crisp tan lines

obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan

em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda

obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much

obsetress: she giggles

obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible

em: and then when she gets into running...

em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is

em: gimme a second

obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head

obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines

em: there it is

obsetress: it was inevitable

em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps

em: baby

em: the most baby

obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves

em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing

obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and

obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: literally just like

obsetress: world stops

obsetress: viola stares

em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms

em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no

em: violas hot

em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable

em: she will be the Worst

obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"

obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away

obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same

obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same

em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”

em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.

em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton

obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"

em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top

em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much

em: she does it anyway

em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like

em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it

obsetress: i would........ like to see it

obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies

obsetress: she is severely underrated

em: crop top jamie is

obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough

em: jamie wear More crop tops

obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot

obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?

rebecca: what?

obsetress: and like

obsetress: viola is NOT insecure

obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but

obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization

em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on

em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this

em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo

obsetress: GOD yeah

obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."

em: owens like scary is a compliment

em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly

obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs

em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It

em: jamies like sorry WHAT

em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT

em: viola leaves without ever following it up

obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed

obsetress: doesn't even blink

em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk

em: everyone in this au is insane

obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane

obsetress: par for the course

em: was gonna protest but

em: Yeah

obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts

obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle

obsetress: jamie taylor baby

obsetress: viola lloyd also baby

em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking

obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it

obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because

obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together

em: oh of course. i see. i see

em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out

em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s

em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but

obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade

em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit

em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him

obsetress: omg

obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey

em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad

em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me

obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”

obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”

obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look

em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie

em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it

em: anyway

em: what was. what was ur last little thought

obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how

obsetress: like she’s never had to learn

em: rebecca gets um

em: freeze dried coffee

em: nescafé

obsetress: but like

obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but

obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”

obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity

obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”

obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)

#this one's fucken LONG!!!!!!!! #the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au

[goose-books]

goose-books productions: a 2020 review

view the image in higher quality here! (open the image in a new tab to zoom in.) thank you to my dearest @yvesdot for the template

transcripts and month-by-month details under the cut! for reference, you can find my projects here :-) overall, new and old followers, thank you for another good year over here! [holds your hand] [holds your hand] [holds your hand] [holds your h

january

i spent late 2019-early 2020 working on 2019’s nano project, quark, aka the speculative fiction thing about new york city and prophets and dissections of the chosen one trope and gay people. quark is my second-oldest project (five years!), but it’s also probably the most ambitious, so it’s been... difficult to wrangle into place, and i didn’t end up finishing a first draft. oh, well.

enjoy a snippet that is devastatingly emblematic of everything about quark. the tone. the homoerotic tension. the ensemble cast all talking over each other. the fact that caelum has spent pretty much this entire scene crying. fun autopsy report meeting.

Marble stares at the notebook in Shade’s hands. Or maybe he’s staring at Shade’s hands. Dawn feels a little voyeuristic, so she does what she does and says a dumb and unrelated thing: “Augustus, I think this pizza-on-the-floor thing is hurting my ass.”

Augustus flutters his hands. “Sometimes nonconformity is painful.”

“At least we’re originals,” Caelum mumbles into his sleeve.

“Exactly,” Augustus says.

“True originality doesn’t exist,” Marble says.

“Oh,” Shade deadpans, “it’s going to be a fun autopsy report meeting.”

It isn’t.

february

in january i stressed myself out trying to make the plot of quark work. so in february, i decided to take some time and write something Entirely For Fun. like, entirely for fun, no rules. and. my god. how do i explain the project i started calling “third eye for the bad guy.”

it was an unholy mashup of many of my past hyperfixations, including the gone series, a tale of two cities, warrior cats, and the left hand of darkness. one of the characters was a canon scalie and one was a canon fictionkinnie. it centered around a polycule of wannabe-evil-overlord high schoolers. i only wrote like three chapters but i was lost in the sauce for all of february and then i just… like… wiped it from my mind and moved on? somehow??? one character was a werewolf and that literally wasn’t relevant at ALL

I.

Someone was going to die on these steps.

This had been Ivy Lee Palomo’s thought last year during the all-school photo, and it rose in her mind again now. The one hundred marble stairs leading up to the great double doors of Saint Constantine Academy were the school’s pride and glory, steep as the mountain, sharp as the blade under Ivy Lee’s skirt. With the cutting wind and snow glazing the stone more often than not, with the freshmen wild and wired on their first day of their first year, it was really only a matter of time before someone slipped and cracked their fucking head open.

It wasn’t going to be her. Not when she had Doc Martens and reflexes like an electric coil. Still. Ivy Lee didn’t want to watch someone die. She didn’t get along with dead people.

march

in march, i got back to the project i’d started in 2019 - AMT, my podcast! it’s a shakespeare retelling set in a modern high school; this excerpt is funnier and also more unnerving in context. (double, double, toil and trouble...)

INDRAJIT: What the hell are you doing?

[PAUSE.]

DEE (like she’s lying): Making pasta.

[ALL THREE OF THEM LAUGH.]

NONA: That’s right.

MORA: We have the keys to Mab’s office.

DEE: We’re using her stove.

NONA: To make pasta.

DEE: Do you want some?

[A TENSE PAUSE.]

INDRAJIT: No.

april

and darkling rears its head! all of my other projects have existed for at least a year; darkling (specfic king lear retelling) is... special. it was conceived in april, when i started hyperfixating on king lear, and i still managed to write an absolutely ridiculous amount of content for it. it was like the power of hyperfixation let me speedrun the entire process. which. okay.

iv: control

They say Cressida Stayer was nine years old when she turned her hair to gold. They laid her down in bed blonde, and the next morning, the waves cascading down her shoulders were solid metal, glinting harshly in the sunlight, weighing her down, creating that odd head-cocked expression she still wears now. Nine years old. Two or three years before most people develop enough magic skills to dye a single curl. Much less transfigure their hair into precious metal.

People also say Leovald Stayer’s immediate reaction was to hack it off her head and melt it down for cash. But generally they say that part a lot quieter.

may

in may i wrote AMT episode 15, by which i mean that in may there was a day when i sat in my room with the door shut for literally five straight hours listening to the same three songs on loop as i wrote the climax of one of the plotlines of AMT. so. that sure was… a day.

ISAAC: Do you want… do you want someone to drive you home? Hawk, you’re worrying me -

HAWK (almost cutting him off): Don’t. Don’t say that. I’m here to help. With your… thing.

ISAAC (quietly): I… don’t know if you should be here to see this.

HAWK (a little louder, more audibly upset): Well - what else am I going to do? Go home and - and have my dads talk at me and - and not be able to answer them? Because I can’t? I can’t. I don’t know what to say.

[PAUSE.]

ISAAC (V.O.): I wonder if this is what he feels like, on the outside, looking in at me. Watching someone else hurting. Helpless and afraid.

He still fits perfectly in my arms. I rest my chin on top of his head and pull him close to me, like I can stop him from shaking, like I can stop anything from happening the way I know it’s going to. I bury my face in his hair. He smells so familiar. He’s so warm.

God, Hawk. I love you so much. You shouldn’t be here to see this. Something bad’s gonna happen. And you’re not the kind of person who belongs in a tragedy.

june

okay, honestly, i should talk about “night shift” here, because in june i wrote a whole short story in one night (and then foamed over it for a week), but i am still in the process of submitting it places! so i am terrified to put even a sentence of it online. instead: the other thing i did this month was to finish AMT! (sixteen episodes and somewhere around 175k, iirc, but don’t quote me.) these lines are the opener to the final episode!

RAHMA (V.O.): The combined series of sophomore year disasters stretched through November. It’s June now. It’s taken me… a long time to get this all put together. I was going to make a vlog about it, initially - well, calling it a vlog sounds frivolous. I was going to make a video recounting the whole deal. All of it. From when I kissed Avery Fairchilde to the very last night. I scripted dozens of drafts; I put together dozens of bullet-pointed lists of what to cover… and it was never enough. Because Avery and I weren’t the only ones involved. Even if I was only focused on the two of us, it wasn’t just the two of us.

So… I gathered up everyone else. The whole town of Ellisburg is still talking about the week the town went crazy, but it wasn’t just a week. There was a lot leading up to it. And I think if anyone’s going to talk about it, it should be us. The people who lived it. So here we are. The most ambitious Rahma Ashiq production of all time - at least so far.

july

every july i pause whatever else i’m doing to celebrate the birthday of aurum & argentate, twins from my oldest and dearest WIP The Mortal Realm. july fifteenth! mark your calendars. they’re princes, though argentate would really rather not be; you can read the full birthday piece here.

“Do you… plan to get dressed?” A bit of the usual humor crept back into Aurum’s voice. “Although if you want to speak to the kingdom in your underthings, by all means, you have my full support.”

Argentate scrubbed at his face. He wasn’t dressed, no, but the usual malaise hung over his shoulders like a cloak. Guilt. Nerves. The sick sense that he hadn’t done something he was supposed to. The numb knowledge that it was too late to change a thing.

“I meant to,” he said. “Get dressed, I mean.” The rest went unsaid: I have just been sitting here. On the floor. Thinking about how I should get dressed.

“Ah,” Aurum said, extending his hand. “The traditional route. We’ll save the nude speeches for the future, then.”

Argentate took his hand, stumbling a little as Aurum pulled him to his feet. He steadied himself on the closest wall, taking a few deep breaths. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. His hands found their way to the cross, again and again.

august

this summer, i wrote an entire draft of Valentine Van Velt is Dead, AKA “holden caulfield goes to exposure therapy,” AKA the weird little personal side project i keep tucked into my coat. interesting features include second-person narration from a narrator who doesn’t like the main character all that much. so reading it is kind of like the book wants to kill you? with an added dash of general melancholy.

You used to live here. That’s the thing that’s got you feeling so off.

You didn’t recognize your old house. I mean, you kind of did. You remembered that the road was on a hill. That hill felt like a goddamn forty-five degree angle when you were a kid. But if you didn’t have the address written down you wouldn’t have known it at all. It would have been just another little suburban house in rows of perfect little towns that make your skin crawl.

So now you’re in this diner looking out a gross smudgy window trying to block out the elevator music pumping through the speakers in the ceiling or whatever. I don’t know how speakers work. You’re trying to tune that shit out. The waitress comes over and catches you by surprise so you just point at some coffee thing on the menu so she’ll go away. For the record: you don’t drink coffee.

There’s a public library across the street. A little square building. You probably used to go there. The lady comes over and thunks your coffee on the table and gives you a kind of look, like she wants to know what in the goddamn hell you think you’re doing here and not at school. You sip your coffee and look out the window until she leaves you alone again. And then you spit it back into the cup because, for the record: you don’t drink coffee.

september

i spent september and october prepping for nano, so i was mostly working on darkling...

It’s late spring; still, at this time of night, on a rooftop, there’s a chill. The wind plays with the end of Ruby’s coat, with her hair. She hands the bottle off to Jasper, stares up at the fogged-over sky, wishes she were lying in Dany’s arms in Dany’s bed instead of here. Wishes, even, that Dany were the one on the roof with her. At least then they’d be cold together. At least then she wouldn’t have to imagine what Dany would say; she could just listen, and watch Dany’s flashing smile and her flinty eyes.

(She cuddles. This is another thing Dany does that Dany probably shouldn’t do, based on everything about Dany; it’s not like rattlesnakes cuddle. But Dany likes to nuzzle into Ruby’s side and rest her head on Ruby’s collarbones and toss an arm over Ruby’s chest, and hold her down like she’s worried she’ll float off somewhere. She’ll card her fingers through Ruby’s hair and hum. Even though they could get caught, even though she’s probably got better places to be - Dany cuddles.)

Ruby imagines it, momentarily, both of them on the roof together, sprawled like horrifyingly beautiful gargoyles, sharp teeth flashing, blood running hot. Up here - it’d be like they ruled the world.

But whatever. Jasper’s fun. He’s hot. He’s got a sharp tongue in a lot more ways than one. And she likes when he lets the mask down. She likes seeing the soft bits underneath. She wants to sink her teeth and nails into them so hard she draws blood. Masks don’t bleed. Ruby would know; that’s why she is what she is.

october

...though i was also in creative writing class in school, and thus ended up writing a bunch of poems of varying quality (my teacher had a real thing for poetry) and also one darklingverse short story where rory and cressida hold hands! which you can find here.

Lorelai Rory Flowers is afraid of thunder.

This is a bit of an embarrassing thing to admit, as they’re seventeen (“at least seventeen,” they like to tell people, “maybe two hundred, who’s to say?”) and generally wise beyond their years, or whatever it is that adults say about kids with too much psychological baggage. Being afraid of thunder is not a very wise-beyond-one’s-years trait. And yet the state of affairs remains: loud noises make Rory want to melt into the earth. Back when they still went to school, even the fire alarm sent them scuttling under their desk to hide.

Right now, in the elevator, all they can do is shrink into their sweater.

They haven’t let go of Cressida’s hand yet.

november

and then november of course was nano which was an adventure all the way through. (opening tumblr on the fifth day of nano to find out about d*stiel... was something.)

“Apologize to me. Or get out of my house.”

Gracen’s voice is very, very low. For a moment she thinks he hasn’t heard her at all. Then he spins, eyes blazing. “What did you say?”

Gracen watches her own chest heave. She pushes herself up off the desk, stands with the effort of pushing a mountain off of her back. Leovald is six-foot-four. Gracen is six-foot-two. In her heels, in the heels she must wear to be a professional woman, to be a lady - they are the same height.

Gracen wipes her nose. When she lowers her arm, there’s a streak of blood across the back of her hand. Fire shivers in her chest; her heart rings in her ears; her voice could cut steel.

“I said,” she says, low, slow, volume building, “apologize to me. Or get. Out. Of. My. House.”

december

and finally, the poem i posted this year! it’s called the beast sonnet, and you can find it in its own post over here (with commentary! how sexy.)

i kill the beast and drop down to my knees, my blade stained dark with blood of stygian hue, and for a moment these scarred hands shake free, and hold a world unfurled for me anew. but once-mourned victims, victors, vices find; fear winged me; now its absence strips me bare. my sword now dulls, my legs, my voice, my mind; the beast, pried from my throat, leaves no skill there. and still i hear it laugh, O DEVOTEE— O CHILD DEAR, NO GLORY WITHOUT ME.

i was quite productive this year; i have to think it was because i was avoiding things... the peak of my productivity happened over the summer and in november, AKA, college app hell. (almost done with the last applications! pray for me.)

a general breakdown of what occupied me this year:

(no, i don’t know why the “various other things” category ended up so large... i blame all the one-off projects i wrote a single page for, and also whatever the fuck happened in february. yes, i do know why it looks hideous; it’s because each of my WIPs has a theme color

thank you once again for spending some time at goose-books dot gov this year! what to expect for next year: well, i very much hope i can produce AMT... also hoping to get darkling ready for beta readers, so keep your eyes out!

#max.txt #and that's a wrap!!! what a goddamn year. #okay. breath in. tags: #quark tag #third eye tag #(i think there are like. two posts in that one?) #amt tag #darkling tag #tmr tag #vvvid tag #wow that was a lot of text. if you read all this... [blows you a kiss] thank you! #max actually writes #year in review

[broomballkraken]

Title: A Dullahan and a Firewolf Walk into a Café...

Fandom: Cafe Enchante

Pairing(s): Kotone/Canus/Ignis

Word count: 3309

Warnings: None

Summary: ...and they eventually fall in love with the sunny and upbeat owner. This is a cause of tension between Canus and Ignis, who are normally the best of friends...that is, until they realize that they are in love with each other as well.

Enchanté had always been a place where Ignis could escape the constant fighting and the bitter cold of Bestia. Relaxing in the quaint café atmosphere with a nice drink and a filling homemade meal was always something that he had looked forward to.

This time, however, he was feeling anything but relaxed.

Ignis’ grip tightened around his glass of soda as he stole a glance to his right, where Canus sat sipping on his smoothie, his discomfort obvious due to the deep blue color of the flames that were ever-present around his neck.

They were currently the only regulars present today; Il was locked in his room playing the latest otome game, Misyr had business in the demon world, Rindo had offered to escort Kariya to his checkup at the GPM, and Kotone was off shopping for groceries. The fact that Ignis was alone with Canus only made this awkward silence between them more deafening. There was also a palpable tension in the air, and it had everything to do with the beautiful human who owned the café.

Ignis would be the first to admit that he had been wary when Kotone had taken over the café. Enchanté was his escape from the constant fighting in Bestia, and he didn’t know if it would be the same without Souan. However, he soon realized that his worry had been unfounded, because Kotone’s Enchanté was every bit as cozy and welcoming to non-humans as her grandfather’s had been.

It was even more so actually, as unlike Souan, Kotone had shown great interest in visiting the non-human worlds, even though she had ended up in the middle of a few terrible situations, especially in his own world of Bestia, and Canus’ home world of Medio. She had helped Ignis break free from his fate of becoming Vanar, so it was no surprise that he had fallen in love with her along the way, and luckily for him, she felt the same way.

This had surprised him, because while they all were helping Canus deal with the threat that Yggdrasil posed to Medio, Ignis watched as Kotone and Canus fell in love with each other. He had never considered the fact that she could be in love with two people at the same time, but that wasn’t really a problem.

No, the problem wasn’t that they both loved Kotone, it was that Ignis was also in love with Canus, and he didn’t know what to think of that. In Bestia, the beast-folk took on one mate for life, and Ignis had never heard of anyone forming a polycule of any kind before. He wasn’t sure what humans thought of that, and from what he had gathered about the fairy customs concerning romance, he really couldn’t fathom a guess at what Canus’ thoughts about it were either.

The more Ignis thought about it, the more he realized that he had probably been in love with Canus far longer than he had with Kotone, and he had just been too dense to realize it. He didn’t need to see Canus’ face to know that he was attractive; his kindness, loyalty, and passion for protecting others was more than enough to cause Ignis to fall in love with him.

When Ignis had found out about the horrible burden that Canus had been forced to bear for Medio, he had felt physically ill at the thought. Someone as kind-hearted and gentle as Canus had no business being forced to kill innocents against his will. Ignis had been more than happy to lend a hand in burning that bastard tree Yggdrasil down to nothing but a pile of ash.

Canus had been a big part of helping Ignis out with his own bullshit trauma, and Ignis really couldn’t thank him enough for helping Kotone keep him from passing that point of no return. They had developed a very close bond, and Ignis had realized that the line between friendship and love had been blurred for a long time. Now that he knew that line had indeed been crossed, he didn’t know what to do about it.

When Kotone had confessed her love for him, Ignis thought that would solve his problem once and for all by overwriting his love for Canus. However, those feelings persisted nonetheless, and it only confused him more when he found out that Kotone loved Canus too.

Ignis’ patience with this dilemma was wearing thin, and he knew that he needed to talk about this with Canus. He hated this awkward air that lingered between them now, and he decided that he was going to put a stop to it right now, one way or another.

Ignis downed half of his drink and slammed his glass onto the counter harder than he needed to, startling Canus. “Ugh, alright, we’ve gotta talk about this already,” he said, waving his hand in front of him as he turned to face Canus head on. Canus stiffened and he turned as well, letting out a deep sigh.

“Indeed. We have put it off for far too long.”

“So, you love Kotone, and I love Kotone.” Ignis decided to not beat around the bush at all, and he continued when Canus nodded, “And she loves both of us.”

“Yes, she has told me as much.” Canus crossed his arms over his chest, and his flames turned a radiant yellow in color, causing Ignis’ face to heat up at how pretty they were. “It was easy to fall in love with such a gentle, caring soul.”

“Yeah.” A soft smile crossed Ignis’ face as he placed an elbow on the counter and rested his chin on his hand. “She’s so compassionate, too much for her own good sometimes. Kotone really pulled us both out of some really dark places, huh?”

Canus’ flames flashed dark blue briefly, and Ignis winced as the awful memories resurfaced briefly. They both really had been through hell by being forced to kill against their will, albeit with different overall circumstances. All of their friends had been a great help, but Kotone had been at the center, for both of them, and had been a key factor in giving them both a happy ending to their ordeals.

“But,” Ignis continued as he worried his bottom lip between his teeth, “is it really okay for her to be with both of us at the same time?”

“Hm, I believe so. Human relationships are varied and complicated. I have read in a few of the romantic magazines that Kotone has given Titania that some do in fact form polyamorous relationships.” Ignis was curious as to why Canus was reading those magazines in the first place, but he decided against asking about it. Instead, he sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Tch, humans are stranger than I thought...I guess I can live with her being in love with both of us…” Ignis trailed off, failing to hide the disappointment in his voice, not at the fact that he had to share Kotone, but that he also wanted to be with Canus. Ignis wasn’t sure if he could stand to watch Canus give Kotone affection when he wanted it badly from him too.

But Ignis would try, because he loved them both, and if he had to suppress his feelings for Canus to make them happy, then he would make that sacrifice, no matter how painful it was. He stole a glance at Canus out of the corner of his eye, and even though he couldn’t see his face, Ignis could feel Canus’ intense gaze boring into him as the flames around his neck suddenly turned a light pink in color.

“...Yes, but with that being said...I do believe that I may have similar feelings for you as well, Ignis.”

Ignis had unfortunately been in the middle of taking a generous swig of his drink, and it immediately ended up all over the counter as choked on it and spit it out. His coughing fit was eased when Canus smacked a firm hand to his back a few times, and Ignis finally managed to squeak out a response after he wiped his arm over his mouth.

“...H-Huh??”

Canus lifted his hand to his invisible face and cleared his throat, his flames turning an even deeper shade of pink. “I, ah...I’m in love with you too.”

Ignis just stared at Canus, with his jaw hanging open with shock. He couldn’t help but wonder if fairies possessed some kind of mind-reading magic that he wasn’t aware of, but the thought was pushed from his mind as an incredible warmth erupted within his chest. Canus...really felt the same way about him, huh? Ignis definitely hadn’t expected that at all.

“If you do not feel the same about me, that is...quite alright.” The flames around Canus’ neck betrayed his actual feelings as it turned a deep shade of blue, and Ignis frowned at the sight. “I will suppress my feelings for you and we can focus on making Kotone happy-“

“Whoa, whoa, back up. Don’t just assume things without hearing what I have to say first,” Ignis interrupted, pouting as his eyes narrowed, “Because, ah, actually do, kinda, maybe feel the same way…” Ignis fumbled with his words and his voice trailed off at the end, and Canus just stared at him.

“I...don’t understand-” he started, and Ignis let out a frustrated noise as he shook his head.

“Gah! I love you too, alright?” he blurted out, his gaze falling to the counter as he rubbed at the back of his neck. He heard Canus suck in a sharp breath, and Ignis almost didn’t hear it over the roaring of his heartbeat in his ears.

“O-Oh, you...you do, really?”

“Yes, really.” Ignis forced himself to look back up at Canus, “I’ve...loved you for a long time now, actually.” He swallowed thickly and sweat began to bead on his forehead as Canus stared at him, before his flames turned a bright yellow.

“I am so happy to hear that, Ignis. I...was honestly scared to tell you, given your relationship with Kotone.” He paused and rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. “I didn’t know if there would be room in your heart for me.”

“Oh fuck that, Canus,” Ignis said with a roll of his eyes, “For you, there was always a place in my heart. I was just too dense to realize it sooner, you know. You’re just...really easy to love.”

Canus’ flames turned a dark blue as he let out a deep sigh. “I never really thought that I was deserving of love, back when I was doing my duty as the Fairy of Death, but you and Kotone made me realize that I was wrong, and I cannot thank you both enough for that.”

Ignis snorted and shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, I’m surprised that you two still gave me the time of day after the bullshit you saved me from...but I’m really glad you two didn’t give up on me either.” Ignis smiled as Canus’ flames turned pink again, and he hoped that this wasn’t a cruel dream, because damn he never felt so goddamn lucky and loved in his entire life.

Canus reached across the counter and placed his hand over Ignis’, causing the latter to make a strangled noise in the back of his throat, while his cheeks turned a bright pink in color.

“You are rather adorable when flustered, Ignis.”

“S-Shut up.”

Canus laughed as his flames turned a lime green, and that was enough to cause Ignis’ face to flush an even deeper red while his heartbeat quickened considerably. He couldn’t stop a smile from crossing his face, however, and he entwined their fingers together as he gave Canus’ hand a light squeeze. His smile morphed into a grin when Canus’ flames turned pink again, and even though Ignis couldn’t see his face, he could just tell that he had the brightest of smiles on his face.

Suddenly, the bell at the door rang, prompting Ignis and Canus to look to see who would enter…

---

When Kotone pushed open the door to Enchanté, she hadn’t expected to see Canus and Ignis sitting together at the counter, and her eyes widened when they both turned to look at her. It had been very awkward this morning, when she had served them their drinks and quickly made up an excuse to rush off to the marketplace. She knew that she was the source of the awkwardness between them, and that made her feel immensely guilty.

She didn’t know how it happened, but she had somehow managed to fall deeply in love with both Ignis and Canus. She knew that it wasn’t fair to them to not pick a side, but her heart kept telling her that it was big enough for the both of them. Kotone was honest about her feelings when she talked to them, and they seemed fine with her also being with the other. However, she couldn’t help but feel like it would be better if they all could be in one happy relationship, but she had no idea how likely that was…

That is, until her gaze wandered to the counter, where Ignis and Canus’ hands were clasped together, and she let out a light gasp as she hurried towards them, as they both shot up from their seats.

“Ah, K-Kotone!”

“Er, hey…”

Canus and Ignis both turned and greeted her nervously, with the former’s flames flashing between dark blue and pink, while the latter’s eyes darted anywhere but to meet her own. A smile slowly spread across Kotone’s face when their hands remained clasped together in spite of their flustered states.

“You two are holding hands!” she blurted out, and Canus’ smoke flushed completely pink and Ignis glanced down at their entwined hands, before they both finally looked at Kotone.

“W-Well, yes...We, ah…” Canus mumbled, his free hand fiddling with his collar as he stumbled over his words.

“Ugh, we found out that we love each other too, okay?” Ignis interrupted Canus to blurt out a blunt explanation, and Kotone giggled, her chest flooding with an immense warmth. Knowing that they all loved each other equally was a dream come true, and Kotone couldn’t contain her happiness as she pulled Ignis down for a kiss, and then did the same to Canus.

“That’s wonderful!” Kotone exclaimed as she stepped back, and she looked back and forth between them a few times. Canus and Ignis just stared at her, looking a bit confused at her eagerness. She laughed and placed her hands on her hips, raising an eyebrow at them.

“Well? Are you two going to kiss now?”

Kotone brought a hand to her face as she tried to suppress another giggle when the two men before her bristled at the suggestion. They glanced briefly at each other before quickly turning away, Ignis’ face flushing a bright red to match his hair, while Canus’ flames turned a deep pink.

“Um, I...suppose that would be the next logical course of action…” Canus mumbled as he sheepishly rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Y-Yeah, but...this is...embarrassing…” Ignis crossed his arms over his chest, his fingers digging into his skin.

“Oh?” Kotone cocked her head to the side. “But you two kissed me just fine.”

“T-That’s different!” Ignis sputtered with a firm shake of his head, “You already knew how we felt about you. Canus and I just confessed our feelings for each other…”

“Oh, then all the more reason for you two to have your first kiss now!” Kotone drove her point home by smacking her fist into her other hand and smiling sweetly. The sincerity in Kotone’s words must have reached them, because Ignis and Canus both fixed their gaze on her, both nodding as the former swallowed thickly, and the latter took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“...R-Right...”

“...U-Understood…”

They turned to face each other, and the comically serious expression on Ignis’ face combined with Canus’ stiff posture had Kotone snorting as she tried not to burst out laughing. Ignis stared at the ‘empty’ space above Canus’ neck with an intense look, his eyes narrowing as he slowly lifted his hands up.

“...Can’t even tell where your lips are…” Ignis mumbled, a grumpy pout crossing his face as he lightly smacked his hands against the spot where he thought Canus’ cheeks were.

“Ignis...there’s no need to hit me.” Canus’ flames flashed a dark blue in color, before snapping back to pink in an instant. Ignis opened his mouth to respond, probably with a snarky retort, but he froze when Canus’ hands moved to cup his face. Kotone watched the scene unfold with great interest, and a gentle warmth seeped into her cheeks when Canus lowered his face to Ignis’ and guided his lips to the proper place. She hadn’t really been sure if these two would love each other as much as they loved her, but looking at them now wiped all doubts from Kotone’s mind, especially when she saw Ignis’ lips curl up into a smile.

When they pulled away from each other, Kotone did not fail to notice the fond looks that the two men exchanged, before Ignis’ face scrunched up and he scratched at his chin.

“Huh, strange…”

Canus jerked backwards as his flames immediately turned a deep shade of blue. “Was it...really that bad?”

“What? No, that’s not what I meant at all!” Ignis quickly explained, shaking his head as he grabbed Canus’ hand, “It’s just...you’re ah, warm…” Kotone giggled at the exchange and nodded.

“Yeah, Canus’ kisses are always warm to me too,” she chimed in, and Ignis joined her in laughing when Canus sputtered, embarrassed, “It’s a bit strange that we can’t see your lips though.”

“I, ah, do have them, it’s just that no one but I can actually touch them, or any part of my head for that matter. But,” Canus’ flames turned a vibrant yellow as he placed his hands on Ignis’ and Kotone’s shoulders, “I...can feel how soft both of your lips are against mine and...it is a pleasant feeling.”

Kotone smiled brightly and laughed as she wrapped her arms around both of them, hearing them both make a startled noise as she pulled them into a tight hug. “I’m so happy that we all feel the same about each other! I really love you both so much!”

“Ah geez,” Ignis grumbled, and Kotone glanced up to see that his pouting face was flushed red, “I, er, love you both too.”

Kotone felt a rumbling chuckle roll through Canus’ chest, and she giggled when he leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek, before doing the same to Ignis. “I love you both as well, with all that I am.” His arms wrapped around both Kotone and Ignis and he pulled them against his broad chest. “I never thought that I would return to Enchanté to find not just one, but two people who I’ve come to cherish more than anything else.”

“Ugh, that’s so cheesy,” Ignis grumbled, hiding his beet-red face against Canus’ chest, but Kotone still caught the beautiful smile that was on his face, “Thanks for loving me you two, in spite of all the bullshit I’ve put you through.”

“Of course, you both are so easy to love…” Kotone said, letting out a content sigh as she melted into the embrace of the two men that she loved the most. As they stood in the middle of her Enchanté, Kotone would forever be thankful for the dullahan and the firewolf who walked in one day, and changed her life for the better.

#cafe enchante #kotone awaki #canus espada #ignis carbunculus #kotone/canus/ignis #hello yes here i am with my otome game ot3 #fanfiction #jade writes fanfiction

[deniigi]

who would you pair sam with?

❤❤Ask: DOES PETER LIKE SAM BACK

Lol I suspect this is the same anon.

For the first question:

Sam has a handful of potential ships that are intriguing to me. I tend to view him as demiromantic and bisexual. He has a preference for women, and his standards for men are much, much higher--but he’s still down to boogie if he thinks someone’s cute. (I have heard hc of him being ace, which I could also see if you’re working exclusively with the tone set by the comics)

In terms of specific ships: Sam/Peter, Sam/Ned and the crackship of Sam/Johnny are the ones at the top of my head. But I’ve also heard Sam/Cindy Moon, Sam/Kate Bishop. Sam/MJ is a little hmmm, for me, I would need to explore it more.

(to be honest I see Sam having a series of relationships with normal people. so while the ships are there, I don’t know if I would sit down and like, writing him exclusively in that ship)

I would be interested in hearing more ideas though! Always looking for more Sam ships!!

For the second question:

It depends on the verse!

If you’re asking about the Inimitable canon that is up on Ao3, then he might! But he doesn’t know about the crush yet, so he hasn’t considered it!

Peter thinks Sam is great. Lovely. Warm and smart and funny and easy to be around.

It hasn’t crossed his mind that Sam thinks of him as anything more than a friend. Especially because, in Peter’s impenetrable skull, anyone associated with another superperson is basically off limits.

He’s not trying to start a war here. Like, falling in love with someone like Karen or Kate would be a huge No-No. He has alliances to maintain. Sam, in Peter’s frame of reference, is associated with Matt. Nowadays, Sam is like Matt’s son. So it’s this fun bit of like, ‘oh, you’re kind of cute’ at the start of things for Peter, but as Matt and Sam get closer, Peter’s increasingly like ‘oh, cool. You are no longer an option ❤ Hello, brother!!’

Which does not help Sam’s crush. Like, at all.

But we’ll see how things develop over time. Lots can change and should change as characters mature.

It’s tricky though because writing out a Sam/Peter story in Inimitable would require some hoops to jump through and might result in limiting their respective narratives (Where do I go once I have attained Sam/Peter endgame? How do I get them in the same place? Does it make sense to have a Sam/Peter endgame in the Blindspot series or the Inimitable series? Does that leave me room to build up Sam’s narratives? Will he be consumed into Peter’s narratives?)

There are a lot of questions here that like, as an author, are always tricky to answer with romantic relationships. I’m still working through those. For now, Sam will have his crush. Peter has other relationships to focus on 👀

But all that said! If you bop around through my ficlets tag, you will find that Peter does like Sam back ❤ and you can read through the polycule relationship between Peter/Sam/Ned/MJ/Johnny.

Hope that helps anon!

#fic #blindspot #samuel chung #inimitable verse

[truly-morgan]

thieveryHere a section of my characters no one care about ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ wanna do anyway

ID

from left to right (name next to characters)

Micha 3552 yo | He/They | Fallen Angel | Queer

Cyrus 4684 yo | He | Angel | Ace

Kadir 3267 yo | He | Demon | Demi Pan

Tamir 4361 yo | He | Demon | Pan

Keir 3240 yo | He/They/She | Demon | Queer Aro

Theòs/Theá [redacted] | He/She | Death God | Aro Ace

Vìgi 2686 yo | Fluid | Demon | Queer

Kuro [N/A] | He | Demon | Queer

Caius 6341 yo | He | Demon | Gay poly

Ari 6420 yo | He/They | Ace Bi poly

Nerva 6367 yo | He | Demon | Pan poly

Relation and Connection

Ari, Nerva and Caius are in a polycule. No one around them could really tell what kind of relationship they have, whether it’s romantic or platonic. They have been all together for a long time, live through many thing together, yet they couldn’t really tell you either, although it is clear they could die for each others.

The three of them took in Kadir when he was really young. At first the plan was just to keep him up until he was old enough to take care of himself, but they ended up getting attached to the younger demon (Ari first). Now the trhee elder are likes fathers to Kadir, and even if the younger bounty hunter lives on his own, they often sees each others.

Kadir and Tamir have a frenemy kind of relationship. Everything started as Kadir going after him for the bounty, but out of being unable to catch him he started chasing more. Tamir never had bad feeling for Kadir, finding it rather funny to annoy the other demon. As the time passed, Kadir started to appreciate him, although no one would catch him say such a thing aloud.

Tamir and Keir knows each other from often crossing each other path in the human realm. They ended up hanging out with each other, having some interest in common and also finding human funny and interesting. They will often helping in each other business, Tamir help the succubus to find interesting partner and Keir in the thievery the other does.

Kadir and Keir have some connection from both knowing and being close to Tamir. Sometime Kadir will ask help from Keir when looking for people, knowing he can find information quite easily.

Micha and Tamir met on one of the pickpocket travel to Europe, visiting Germany. He found the fallen angel’s bar by pure hazard, both feeling quite easily what the other was. Yet Micha did nothing, not caring much about it as long as he wasn’t causing problem in his bar. They wouldn’t go to say they are friends, but they still like having a chat with each others.

Micha and Cyrus have a unsure kind of relationship, the lines blurred. Micha found Cyrus when he was thrown from the angel realm with his wings missing. He took him in and kept him with him because of Cyrus amnesia, worried something bad might happen if he let him roam alone. They ended up growing close to one another, Cyrus really attached to Micha. Even with such a good relationship, Micha tries not to get too attached (too late for that) just in case Cyrus gets his memories back and doesn’t want to associate with a fallen.

Kuro and [N/A] are in a territory battle. Kuro as always caused problem to the Matsui twins, but he hates the idea of another demon trying to approach them, especially Ethan. The moment he learned about the other demon presence he tries to keep it far away from the twins. The other one hates him for keeping him at bay, trying to be a real nuisance to him.

Theòs and Vìgi first met when the death god needed some artefact giving him some power. He couldn’t find anything and went for demon, although the two race don’t appreciate each other in normal circumstance. Vìgi wasn’t minding it, as long as he was receiving some compensation. They have a semi professional relationship, as thing ended up with them being more friend than anything.

More on my characters

Micha:  Legit decided he was tired of the Heaven so he got himself thrown out by sinning just enough to be kick out, but not enough to be executed. After some time of roaming aimlessly on earth he decided to open his own café and bar in a more rural region.

He has a good relationship with the small community he landed himself in, often having tea time with some of the older ladies after church on his day off. He like giving a hand around when he can, enjoying the quiet life he has.

Cyrus: He was an exemplar angel when he was still in heaven, his duty was to make sure everyone was following the rules. He got on the bad side of some angels after putting them in a really bad place and they decided to take revenge on him. They took away his wings before throwing him in the human realm, believing he would die like this.

He had completely lost his memory, finding his name only because of a pendant he has, at least he guesses it must be his name. He’s very attached to Micha and is always happy to help him around the bar. He has totally won over the heart of those nice old lady at church.

He can sometime be a little more naive and innocent despite his look, which lead to people trying to take advantage of this naivety. Thankfully Micha is always here to keep him safe.

Kadir: He was seemingly abandoned when he was young, but he cannot remember anything from his childhood. He’s not too upset about it and is satisfied with the memories he had from his three dads.

He took inspiration of them and decided to be a bounty hunter too. He generally goes after beasts and other demon whom have bounty on their head, but will sometime mess in other realm bounty board when he gets bored of it. He rarely mess up his contract, Tamir being the break in his winning strike. He does his job without caring much about things around him, not getting close to others.

Tamir: He has grown up with low level demon in what could be called a mafia of one of the Hell realm. This is pretty much where he learn all his thievery tricks. He his really thankful for this demon to have taken him in, visiting them from time to time to see how things are doing with them.

He has a strange interest for humans (or really any other being from other realm) and often roam around earth, stealing and reselling what he gets. He has a lot of contact all around the world, sometimes trafficking in more serious business, knowing he can easily get himself out or just vanish for a couple decades or just disguise himself.

Keir: They grew up surrounded by other succubus, so for them anything sexual is just normal behaviours, although they did learn the limits of the humans world. They do enjoy messing around with other demons for goods and favours.

They also like to roam around the human realm, both enjoy the food and the humans. They will often lure in people by saying they can be whatever the person like, as they have some shapeshifting skills they use to switch to what someone may prefer of fantasies about. To they human are really fascinating, as most demon don’t give much interest in what the other is, as long as the pleasure is there.

They often sells themselves for human food, as money isn’t something they need to live and the real meal is they person themselves. They don’t gives much attention to what someone might think of the way they act, it was never anyone else business what they are doing with their body.

Theòs: He was a Death God for a long time, before being ban for not actually doing his job. He wasn’t taking people lives when it was due, but rather cutting it shorter. He has a morbid fascination for suicide and seeing people slowly losing it. For this reason he was banned.

He keep on roaming around other realm, slowly causing people to die earlier than they should by playing with them. He never does the act of killing, but can still be said to have a lot of blood on his hands. He will himself do the act of dying, although he cannot and only find the pain funny.

He work with Vìgi to have artefact that helps him in his play.

Vìgi: They roam around everywhere, causing problem a little everywhere. They will only do something for someone else if they can get something from it, otherwise they won’t do it.

Other demons knows to be careful around them, as they have a little liking to eating their own kind, not exactly hiding it either and anyone crossing them could finish on their plate. (Ain’t gonna lie, I gotta work on Vìgi more)

Kuro: He’s a demon who was stuck inside the Matsui family for a couple centuries, being transferred from a member to the other. He really hates it and does his best to break the person in hope he could take over the body. He nearly succeed three time.

Now he’s always with the twins and strangely developed a liking to one of them, although he still has his objective in mind. He like messing around and sometime even let Evan borrow some of his power when it comes to protecting the cherry twin.

Caius, Ari and Nerva: Ari and Caius where in contact before Nerva entered the scene. Their relationship was a little like the one of Tamir and Kadir, although they ended up working together because they were pretty compatible. They went through hardship together for a long time. When Ari met Nerva, Caius had some difficulty with him, even though they ended up being good friend later before being what they are today.

They will often take bounty each on their side, but won’t be shy to ask for some help when one of the two other can be of us. (they are my newest, so I don’t have much fleshed out for each,)

Feel free to ask more about my characters, I love talking about them and don’t exactly have a place to do so without being annoying.

#MY OCs #death god #demon #incubus #sucubus #angel #fallen angel #micha #cyrus #kadir #tamir #keir #theos mortem #vigi #kuro #caius #ari #nerva #character relationships #characters information #queer characters #tw suicide mention #suicide mention #traditional art #digital art

[doctorcolubra]

This is a day late for International Women’s Day but under the cut, please enjoy me telling my wife about two Byzantine empresses (sisters!) who hated each other but hated men and/or the world even more: Zoe and Theodora Porphyrogenita. Pretend it’s a transcript from your favourite podcast hosts!

(That’s Zoe on the right, pictured with her very good friend Jesus and one of her useless husbands)

Tal: so the sisters are Zoe (the hot one) and Theodora (the ugly one), and their dad keeps trying to marry them off to other rulers but nothing's working out, and he eventually just gives up and leaves them to rot in the women's quarters together for like, most of their adult life Tal: no one really knows why but they started to haaaaaaate each other Tal: Dad dies, and the two sisters are the only heirs to the dynasty, so now the whole court is trying to marry them off to local Byzantine aristocrats Clare: "NO FUCK YOU" Tal: the mayor of Constantinople is the big pick, but Theo is like "a) he's already married and b) he's my third cousin, so no" and Zoe says "yeah whatever I'll marry him" Tal: the mayor (Romanos Argyros) has his wife have an "accident" and he's free Clare: oh fuckin what Clare: this clown over here like "idk what happened, she just slipped and fell down forty-seven flights of my steps that are inset with jewels" Tal: Zoe now accuses Theo of conspiring against her, and has her dragged off into a monastery against her will Clare: WAIT A MONASTERY FOR A WOMAN WHAT Tal: but Zoe is like, almost 50, and she's trying to conceive but she CAN'T, she's trying potions and charms and shit, OH YEAH monastery is the term for both men and women in the East, a lot of the time Tal: Byzantines loooved to force people into taking vows Clare: OKAY CONTINUE Clare: (I know next to nothing about the Byzantine Empire actually so this is great) Tal: so Zoe can't get pregnant and Romanos is tired of her, so she's furious and starts fucking a servant, really flagrantly in front of everybody Clare: ride 'em cowboy Tal: Romanos goes "k" and takes his own mistress Clare: well at least he didn't "accident" Zoe I guess (YET) Tal: but then people start saying (correctly) that Zoe and her new boytoy want to kill him, and he is "concerned" but doesn't really do anything about it, he's kind of a weak dude Clare: he sounds like a real champ from what you've said, defs Tal: so Zoe and her lover drown him in the bathtub Clare: YESSSS Clare: GET SOME ZOE Tal: NOW plot twist, the servant loverboy's eunuch brother is the chamberlain of the palace, and he's this Machiavellian character, John Orphanotrophos Tal: with his brother fucking the empress, John is like OH BOY HERE'S MY CHANCE Tal: so as soon as his brother (Michael) is married to Zoe, John's like "okay uh let's...put her somewhere, she is not the most reliable lady" Clare: in a monastery Tal: NOT YET Michael puts her back in the women's quarters for now, where she conspires against the dudes in vain Clare: Michael u dum Tal: BUT Michael is epileptic and pretty soon his health is failing, John's basically running the empire from behind the scenes Clare: jesus christ Tal: his brother's dying, so John gets his nephew lined up to be the next emperor, and when Zoe protests, boom, monastery Clare: (WHERE IS THEO IN ALL THIS) Tal: THEO'S COMIN Tal: so Zoe's been sworn in at the monastery on an island, but the people of Constantinople decide they don't care for that, and they fuckin RIOT Clare: YEAAAAHHHHHH Tal: the mob dethrones John's relative and demands ZOE AND THEODORA BACK IN TOWN Clare: i just wanna imagine all of them screaming like frat dudes, YEAAAAHHHHHHH Tal: Zoe tries to make it all about her and send Theo back to HER monastery Tal: but the people ain't having it Clare: EXCUSE YOU LADY YOU JUST GOT A REPRIEVE HDU Tal: Theo demands that the emperor be blinded (Byzantines loooved to blind people) and have HIM sent to a monastery, and I think at the same time they also get rid of John by blinding him and castrating all his male relatives Clare: I KNEW THE BLINDING THING WEIRDLY ENOUGH Clare: that shit made it into [Mormon] scripture someplace or something, I knew that one BUT JESUS Y'ALL ARE SO SAVAGE Tal: HELLA so the Orthodox have a rule that you can only marry twice, you can't be a black widow for too long over there Tal: Zoe and Theo need husbands for heirs and they don't want to fuck it up this time Clare: oh god I'm so afraid Tal: Zoe wants this one dude who she had a broken engagement with yeeeeears ago, but then she meets him again and she's like "you know what I DON'T LIKE YOUR TONE" and scratches him off the list Tal: she tries another former fling, but he gets mysteriously poisoned by his wife, like "NOT GONNA DIVORCE ME FOR THE EMPRESS, BITCH" Clare: and then Zoe marries that wife Clare: because they would rule Clare: ...sorry I just made that up GO ON Tal: she finally finds a guy who's supposed to have been "handsome and urbane", and at this point I want to mention that all three of these men were named Constantine Clare: JESUS ZOE Clare: BRANCH OUT Tal: she marries him, he becomes Emperor, Zoe is still Empress but also so is Theo, and there are already court factions breaking out between them Clare: also she over 50, whh Clare: how is babby formed Tal: right, like girl IT AIN'T HAPPENING Tal: HOWEVER Constantine #3 wants to bring a fourth into their polycule Clare: k ya big weirdo Tal: he has a long-standing mistress named Maria and he demands that she be allowed to go everywhere with them and have a title of her own and all this shit Clare: "this isn't enough drama I WANT MORE OF IT MORE OF THE DRAMA" Tal: "The 64-year-old Zoë did not object to sharing her bed and her throne with Maria Skleraina." Clare: the 64-year-old Zoe had a li'l boner for Maria Skleraina neh Tal: so idk maybe she was cool with it but the public thought it was kinda weird, so now there are rumours that Maria wants to poison BOTH Zoe and Theo Tal: so there is another riot Tal: Constantinople does not take shit lying down Clare: that's what we do in our spare time btw, all of us women with husbands and no jobs Clare: we think about poisoning Clare: everything Clare: everyone Tal: I mean I get it Clare: (poisoning someone is the bitchiest move in history and I love it every time GO ON) Tal: that was basically it for Zoe, she let her husband have the power and she focused herself on developing a line of beauty products Clare: ....you're fucking with me Tal: “Zoë recognised her own beauty and its use as a tool of statecraft. Attempting to maximise and prolong its effect she had a variety of creams and treatments prepared in the gynaeceum, and was said to have carried out experiments attempting to improve their efficacy. She operated a cosmetics laboratory in her rooms in the palace, where perfumes and unguents were constantly being prepared. Psellus reports that her face looked youthful into her sixties.” Clare: YOU WERE NOT FUCKING WITH ME Clare: I'M SCREAMING Tal: RIGHT Tal: now after Zoe died, Theo wasn't done yet Clare: you know what I want tho, you know what I want Clare: I want Theo to be poisoned by one of Zoe's neck creams Tal: IT DID NOT HAPPEN, ALAS Clare: just standing over her as she dies like THIS IS THE LONG CON, SISTER MINE Tal: Zoe died first (of presumably natural causes) and Theo basically made the dudes recognise her not as empress but as EMPEROR Clare: oh gosh I like her Tal: she got the senate and the imperial guard on her side Clare: oh I like her so much Tal: and then SHE PURGED Clare: that is such a power move that is such a Cersei Lannister move oh my god Tal: all the officials she didn't trust, all the guys that were being suggested for her position instead of her, DISMISSED AND EXILED Clare: BOOOOOM Tal: she was 76 but she gathered all the power in her own hands as much as she could, she showed up in the senate every day and judged cases herself, she was not here to play Clare: that is fucking fantastic Clare: I wanna marry her Tal: she did finally die but she refused to get married and refused to even name an heir because she knew THAT'S HOW THEY GET YOU, and only on her deathbed did she kind of nod like "I guess" to appoint some civil servant as emperor Tal: who nobody liked but they thought he was easy to control Clare: BOSS ASS BITCH Tal: YUP Clare: aaaaaaamazing Tal: and that is the story of Zoe and Theo, the end Clare: I LOVE THEM

#drunk history (we weren't drunk) #I love the Byzantines and their drama sfm

[polyrolemodels]

Mx Nillin

1. How long have you been polyamorous or been practicing polyamory?

Personally? Less than 5 years. I’ve been non-monogamous with my nesting partner, Falon, for about 4 years now, but neither of us explicitly identified as polyamorous until we started seeing our best friend Kate about a year ago. 

2. What does your relationship dynamic look like?

Falon and I are legally married and live together in a tiny apartment with a cat and two guinea pigs. We’re in a romantic, sexual, and emotional relationship with our best friend, Kate, who lives on her own a short drive across town.

Kate doesn’t want to ever get married or live with anybody else. She really values having her own place to herself and so do we, so, it just works out for everybody really well! We all see each other multiple times a week, binge watching Netflix shows, playing nerdy tabletop games, going on date nights, checking out local events, or trying out threesome positions for ourselves and then blogging about them [http://mxnillin.com/will-it-threesome-double-dip/] LOL

Though Fal, Kate, and I are in a closed polyamorous triad together, we’re all still non-monogamous to a degree. Each of us has a friend or two we sometimes share nudes and flirt with outside of our relationship, but the three of us are all romantically committed to each other.

3. What aspect of polyamory do you excel at?

Ugh, honestly, I wouldn’t say that I “excel” at anything so much as I’m just doing the best I can to look after my own health and wellness while also striving to be the best partner I can be to Kate and Falon.

I used to be REALLY bad at the whole self-care thing and it lead to a lot of fear, anxiety, insecurities, and jealousy in my past relationships. I almost exclusively relied on those who I was intimate with to just comfort me until I felt better. In some cases, I put the entire onus of my mental and emotional health onto my past partners. Unsurprisingly, that created some incredibly fucking unhealthy behaviors as I sought out a pretty constant supply of comfort, validation, and assurance from them in order for me to feel happy and secure in those relationships.

That’s not so much an issue for me anymore, and I’m really proud of that because it has taken a lot of hard work to unlearn those toxic behaviors, develop healthier personal habits, and overall better communicate with the people who I love. I’m also much more on top of taking my anti-depressant pills, and going in to see my counsellor, when necessary.

That’s not to say I’m some stoic, chill master of my emotions or anything. Insecurities still crop up, jealousy sometimes rears its head, and on occasion a little validation is appreciated, but I think all of that is pretty natural

4. What aspect of polyamory do you struggle with?

The stigma. Holy shit, the stigma

I‘ve never loved two people at the same time, and in the same ways, before. I’ve never been committed to two partners at once before. Like, it’s no exaggeration when I say that my relationship with Falon and Kate has shattered my entire perspective of life, love, family, the institution of marriage, identity, politics, and so much more.

And all for the better, I might add!

But polyamory isn’t something you see reflected back at you by society, especially not in any sort of positive, judgement-free way. It’s not a relationship structure that’s even sorta socially, politically, governmentally, or economically accepted, let alone widely acknowledged, talked about, written about, ore seen out in public. And it sure as shit isn’t represented in a lot in literature, or art, or media of any kind… at least not in ways that don’t tend to be fetishizing or tragic. 

I mean, when’s the last time you’ve seen any sort of show about an everyday non-binary queer navigating life with their poly family? Never? Yeah, me neither.

All of this has led to us having to pretty regularly endure super shitty, awkward situations of us having to be in the closet depending on who we’re interacting with at any given time. Trying to remember who you’re out to, and who is SAFE to be out to, is exhausting and stressful for us all.

And that fucking blows. Yet it’s oftentimes necessary for all our safety.

5. How do you address and/or overcome those struggles?

I talk about it with my partners. A lot. We check in with each other pretty often and we don’t let difficult discussions go undiscussed for long. 

And I write about it too! Maybe too much at times haha.

I find that by putting myself out there, speaking up about my experiences and relationships, it has helped me empower others in their poly relationships while offering me the opportunity to learn from them as well. Especially other sex bloggers, writers, and workers.

I’ve also surrounded myself with a pretty amazing little family of queer and trans folks who have been wonderful supports in my life.

6. In terms of risk-aware/safer sex, what do you and your partners do to protect one another?

Clear, concise, honest communication has been key. Fal, Kate, and I are all aware of each other’s past partners and we’ve all tested ourselves for STI’s. Currently, we’re all fluid-bonded together, so, condom usage isn’t really there like it used to be. However, we still make sure to boil any sex toys that are shared (between uses), keep our nails trimmed, use lube as needed, and generally make sure that we’re listening to and respecting each other’s boundaries.

7. What is the worst mistake you've ever made in your polyamorous history and how did you rebound from that? 

Not sure if this is really a polyamory mistake so much as it is a boundaries issue. A couple years ago, shortly after Falon and I were married, I had JUST started blogging about how non-monogamy worked for us when we became good friends with somebody we had met through our local LGBTQ+ community. Early on in the friendship, the three of us mutually masturbated together, but we were very explicit in expressing that we were not looking for a relationship of any kind and that the three-way ‘bating was just for fun and probably not a regular thing. 

End of story, right?

Not so much. While Fal and I felt that we were very clear, and that our friend had understood, he instead doubled down. Over the months that followed, he ended up inserting himself into our relationship in a lot of invasive ways that on their own looked innocent enough, but when considered all at once were actually quite manipulative. Then one day he tries to show up at our house to talk with Falon, and when they said they weren’t feeling comfortable taking right now (he was being very pushy) he just forced the conversation anyway by professing his love to them. Oh, and me too, but only as an afterthought when Falon made it clear they were NOT interested.

Things went downhill from there really fast as we started to realize the real degree of his intrusiveness, complete with finding out he had been self-sabotaging opportunities for himself because he had this thought in his head that we’d all live up living together.

Anyway, it’s a long story overall but Fal and I learned a lot about what we were and weren’t comfortable with and set even cleared boundaries with others. That whole thing was bad enough that it almost turned us off from non-monogamy and polyamory altogether though. Luckily, we worked through it because several months after that gong show things started up with Kate, which has been amazing!

8. What self-identities are important to you? How do you feel like polyamory intersects with or affects those identities?

I am a fat, queer, non-binary, loud, foul-mouthed sex blogger with hairy tits, a girl cock, and a full-on fetish for actively subverting social roles and expectations… so of course I’m also polyamorous haha. Seriously though, over the last several years I’ve radically transformed myself as a person, to better reflect who I’ve always been but didn’t feel safe or confident being until my late twenties. I had to, because if I didn’t I was on the fast track to self-destruction [but that’s another story entirely]. 

Now, for the first time ever, I feel empowered to live my life as my authentic self and it turns out that a big part of that has included being polyamorous. Monogamy, at least in how it exists in our culture, has always felt incredibly restrictive, uncomfortable, and toxic to me personally; whereas falling in love with Falon and Kate, opening myself up to them both and forming our queer little polycule, has felt like the most natural thing in the world to me since I came out as queer and trans.

(Bonus: Do you have any groups, projects, websites, blogs, etc. that you are involved with that you would like to promote?)

You can find the vast majority of my work on my blog at www.mxnillin.com. One of the most popular features there is "Mx Nillin Fucks", a blog post series in which I stick my girl cock in a wide variety of inanimate objects, mostly foods so far,  as makeshift masturbation sleeves and write about how good or bad it is. This year is themed "Back to Basics" and has focused on classic masturbation items (banana peels, socks, DIY penetrables, melons, etc.). Outside of this you can also find me regularly participating in #SexEdPornReviews tweets for The Crash Pad Series.

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Support Inclusive Polyamorous Representation at  https://www.patreon.com/PolyRoleModels

#polyamory #nonmonogamy #fat #queer #nonbinary #bloggers

[ah17hh]

How much room for error do you give partners who are new to polyamory? Was I gaslit or am I being dramatic? How do you move past anger? via /r/polyamory

How much room for error do you give partners who are new to polyamory? Was I gaslit or am I being dramatic? How do you move past anger?

This is long. Thanks in advance to those who read to the end and offer insight.

I (36F) have been in a polyamorous relationship with my nesting partner, Jeff (33M) for over a year and a half. We were monogamous for the first half of our relationship. I identified as polyamorous for years before we met but he had only been in monogamous relationships. Jeff and I have been in a triad with Beth (38F) since we opened up and things are wonderful there. We had some stumbling blocks in the beginning, but have settled quite comfortably into our small polycule. Probably relevant background: I have bipolar disorder.

Once Jeff and I opened up, I dated around a bit and about a year ago I met Davey (32M) and fell head over heels. He was in his first polyam relationship with Lilly (23F), but she broke up with him about a month into us dating. They had only dated for a few months, so he was really new to things. Before Davey started dating others again, we talked about some boundaries. I don't like "rules" but I have severe anxiety and appreciate when my partners understand that and take steps to ease it. I asked that he not be on his phone with others when we are spending our time together, since we didn't get to see each other that often and one time he was on the phone with his ex for like half an hour when I was visiting. I asked that he tell me when he sleeps with someone else (and use protection, of course), and that he tell me when he develops deep feelings for others/the nature of the relationship changes. He agreed those were reasonable requests.

Shortly after we talked, Davey met Phoebe (32F) online and went on a date with her. The next time we were hanging out, he told me that she got mad when he told her he was hanging out with me and that she doesn't want to hear about me. I questioned if she was actually polyam and Davey told me she was "open to it" but was recently divorced and had only been monogamous in the past. I expressed my concerns but was reassured that I didn't have anything to worry about.

A few days later all of my partners came to a burlesque performance I was doing. While waiting to go on stage, I saw Davey texting Phoebe. I didn't say anything at the time, but I was really disappointed in him. This was a special night for me, and he was hitting on someone else right in front of me.

The next time we hung out, I asked him if he wanted to talk about how to approach the STI talk with Phoebe before their next date, since I have herpes. He then told me they'd already had sex on their second date. I brought up that he should have told me that without me needing to bring it up, per our prior conversation, and I brought up the texting during our date and he apologized for both slip ups.

For the next few months, things were really difficult. He told me he wasn't going to date anyone else and neither was she. I wanted to meet her and she refused. I prefer kitchen table to parallel, but I know that doesn't work for everyone, so I tried to be understanding. I asked him to read The Ethical Slut. He took his time but he did. I asked that I get to meet her if things were going to be serious, at least, and was told maybe someday but she still wasn't comfortable with that.

Ultimately, I felt very uncomfortable with their relationship, but I tried to sit with and work through the jealousy and anxiety, trying to focus on our relationship and not worry about his other one. One day a few months into their relationship, Davey told me that he and Phoebe were going on a weekend trip and he was in love with her, but that they probably were not going to see each other anymore after that. I asked why and he said, "She doesn't want to be in a relationship with me because of you." I felt like my suspicions were confirmed - she was monogamous and wanted him all to herself. He clarified with her that she still did not want to meet me but that she did not want him to break up with me for her.

I was able to work through the jealousy and anxiety for a while even after that, but it eventually got to be too much and Davey said he would stop seeing her. To clarify: I never gave him an ultimatum or asked him to end things; it was his idea to end things with her because of how it was affecting me.

Well, he didn't stop. He just kept seeing her and when I asked about his plan to cut things off he told me he changed his mind, he wasn't going to and that she was on her way to his house to hang out that night. After we had a big fight about him lying to me, he hung up on me and took a bunch of pills and texted me while I was on my way to work. I told him to throw up and/or call 911. Phoebe arrived and called 911 and got him to the hospital. Then, she called me. She asked me to go to the hospital after work and of course I said I would. I was planning on it anyway, she didn't need to tell me what to do.

Got to the hospital and she said hi and then walked away to give me and Davey a minute to talk alone. When she came back she asked to talk to me privately. "Well, you wanted to meet. Here we are," she said. I was crying a lot and she asked if I wanted a hug. It was kind of her, but awkward. I thanked her for getting him there. We decided she would stay overnight with Davey and I would pick him up the next day when he was released.

Phoebe told Davey she couldn't see him anymore because of his mental health and stopped talking to him. I can't say that I wasn't relieved, thought I felt bad for him for losing a loving relationship, especially when he was so depressed. A month or so later, Davey calls me up one night and says, "I'm not poly, I can't do this." And I'm like, "what are you talking about? What happened?" And he says nothing happened. I asked if he was talking to her again and he said no, but then said that he had stronger feelings for her than for me. I was really upset and told him I'd come get my things tomorrow. He called me back and told me he had made a mistake and he didn't want to break up. We somehow worked through it, building up my security in the relationship again.

Maybe a month later, Davey tells me Phoebe reached out, she misses him, she wants to see him again. I try to be understanding and say that I will do my best to be supportive of them seeing one another again. I truly believe that love is one of the greatest things in life and I don't want to deny my partners loving relationships, as long as they're healthy. I do express that I'm very concerned about it given the history. I told him I'm scared that him seeing her again will be our downfall, but he tells me not to worry because he won't do anything to jeopardize what we have. He reassures me that he doesn't have stronger feelings for her and that saying that was the worst mistake he ever made. He tells me that I'm his primary partner and he's not trying to replace me. After they hang out the first time, he tells me they're just going to be friends with benefits because they realized they're not compatible for a deeper relationship but they still like each other and have good sex. I am relieved.

For the next month or so, I notice that he's texting her a lot while we're together, but he doesn't bring her up much and they don't have plans often, so I try not to be too bothered by it. On one of our evenings together after texting with her for a while he stormed off and I had to coax him to tell me what was wrong. It was Phoebe's birthday and he had forgotten. He acted like it was the end of the fucking world and I was like, dude, this is not that big of a deal. Yeah, it sucks, but she's your friend with benefits, she'll get over it. After finally getting him to calm down, I ask him if things with Phoebe are more serious than FWB and he tells me my feelings are "ludicrous" and to "get over it." I asked a few clarifying questions about the nature of their relationship and tried to feel ok about his answers but had a knot in my stomach for days.

A few days later, he brought her up in casual conversation and it made me feel sick to my stomach again. I asked him to try not to bring her up unless he needed to inform me of something because it gives me anxiety and he told me I was being ridiculous again but he would try. Then he told me he had plans with her that weekend and was going to be staying with her for a few days when she has surgery soon. For days leading up to them hanging out I was a mess of nerves. I asked him not to contact me while he was with her (we usually text goodnight) and said I'd talk to him tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes around and he tells me he's staying with her Monday through Thursday next week and he's gonna start seeing her once a week after that. I tell him how anxious that makes me and he tells me that they're just two people who like hanging out and having sex and I need to get over it, it's nothing more serious than that. He asks me if I trust him and I say "not with her" and he tells me he's "insulted" and that I clearly only want him to date me and lately I've been hard to be around. I hang up on him.

He keeps calling back but I don't answer. Eventually, I do, and he tells me that he called her and told her he couldn't see her anymore because it makes me too uncomfortable. He tells me he feels bad for "abandoning" her and I say, "I think you need to be honest with yourself about your feelings for her" and he says that he can't control his feelings but can control what he does, so he ended it because it wasn't fair to me. He tells me I'm being cold and mean and not showing any sympathy for his situation.

This is what I wanted, right? So why did I feel like a monster? Who am I to deny two people a loving relationship? How can I keep him from experiencing love with someone else when our relationship brings so much joy to my life? Is my anxiety this bad because my meds are off, or am I right to feel theatened by her? My thoughts spiral out of control.

As I'm driving to Davey's house that night, he calls to tell me that he's still going to take care of her after surgery but then he'll stop seeing her after that. I say that that's fine, that I never said he had to stop seeing her, and especially that he didn't need to break plans to be someone's caretaker with such short notice.

When I get to his house, he doesn't seem to want to talk and just acts like things are normal, so we cuddle and watch TV. I decide to take the night off from tough talks and bring things up in the morning, but as we're going to bed, he snuggles up close and asks, "Can we talk?" My heart jumps into my throat. "Sure," I reply. It takes him forever to spit it out but he admits that he's in love with her and doesn't want to stop seeing her. I wanted so badly to drive home but I had already taken my meds and was too sleepy to drive, so I stayed. It felt unfair that he waited until then to tell me.

I told him how he had been gaslighting me for weeks and he denied that, saying that he just didn't know how to tell me, but he lied to my face multiple times and said I was overreacting and to get over it. He was trying to convince me that my perception and feelings were wrong when they were completely valid. Isn't that gaslighting? My bipolar disorder often makes me question my thoughts, feelings, and reactions, so this hit me really hard.

I know how to deal with the sadness and the hurt, I've experienced enough of those, but I really don't know to deal with my anger toward Davey. I don't often experience true anger. I get road rage. I get impatient. I don't get MAD. I feel betrayed by someone I trusted with my heart, someone I made myself so vulnerable with, expressing my deepest insecurities.

Ultimately, I told Davey that I didn't want him to stop seeing Phoebe because of me, that I want him to be happy, that I forgive him, and that I'm willing to work through this together. But, how much room for error do you realistically give someone new to polyamory? Does it even matter that he's new to the lifestyle, or is this just shitty relationship behavior in general? Ultimately, I want my partners to be as free as possible to have whatever relationships they want, so long as it doesn't take away from my relationship with them, so I'm going to try to trust him on this. I know that I may get burned, but I don't feel comfortable outright vetoing another relationship that isn't toxic or unhealthy in some way.

If anyone read this far, thank you for letting me vent. If you have any words of advice, doubly thank you.

Submitted July 29, 2020 at 06:03PM by asphyxiatedwords via reddit https://ift.tt/2X5eeUE

#IFTTT #reddit