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depressing-debbie · 3 years

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Hey, I was wondering if I could get fluff alphabet headcanons for Erwin please?

Of course!!

Look at me! Posting twice in one day!! If anyone has any requests lmk bc I actually have motivation I guess!

Fluff Alphabet: Erwin

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

He’s a big fan of both the traditional romantic dates, as well as more creative, personal dates. I think he’d want to go for a nice walk, tour a museum, or maybe go to the library/bookstore, or for a special occasion, a really fancy dinner with candles and everything.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

In terms of a physical feature, he would probably first notice his s/o’s eyes because he makes intense eye contact, and because he thinks you can tell a lot about a person from their eyes. But in general, he admires their spirit, and he thinks they’re absolutely stunning when they’re passionate about something, or when they’re focusing hard.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He’s amazing at comforting his s/o, largely because he just knows them so well. He would be able to read what they’re feeling and know when they’re upset, first of all. He would probably put on their favorite movie or music, grab a giant blanket, and sit with them. If they want to talk, he has really insightful advice. If not, he’s content to just wrap his arms around them and physically comfort them. (which always works, by the way, because just try to name a single person who wouldn’t feel better after a hug from Erwin)

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

This man absolutely pictures the most simple, “boring” future with a nice house and a family, with family vacations and yardwork on Sundays. The idea of stability and calmness appeals to him so strongly, and even though he’d be content with just about any future that his s/o is involved in, that’s his dream.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

They’re equal when it comes down to anything important, but I think he’d lean towards being the more dominant person in the relationship. He’s a traditional guy, and unless it bothered his s/o at all, I think it’d make him happy to be the one to pay for dinner or make date night plans, that sort of thing. But again, they’re equal everywhere it actually matters.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Fights don’t happen often, but they can be a little bit intense when they do. If they’re arguing about something small, he’s immediately looking for some kind of easy compromise, which he’s excellent at. They only really fight over things that are especially serious. He’s too smart for his own good and he’s got impressive arguing skills, but he’s never setting out to hurt his s/o, just explain his perspective. Arguments can be heated, but they never last long, and again, they’re not common.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

I’m not the first person to point out that Erwin has a lot of self doubt, and his reputation has sort of brainwashed him into believing that he’s not deserving of good things. Because of that, their relationship surprises him all the time, and every day, he expresses to his s/o how much he appreciates them.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He’s completely honest and open with his s/o. There’s no reason for him to lie, he wouldn’t want to hide anything from them. And on the off chance he screws something up, he would rather work through it with them beside him then hide and deal with it on his own.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Like I said, he has big issues with his image and self worth. His s/o and their relationship are slowly helping him to recognize that he does deserve to be happy, and they help him to become more optimistic (whether they realize it or not). On the other hand, I think he would be committed to helping his s/o recognize their own worth and importance in return.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He’s not a jealous person in general, although he does get a bit protective. The only time he would interfere is if he can tell his s/o is uncomfortable or annoyed, in which case he’s more than willing to step in and scare the person off. But again, that’s more out of concern for his s/o than actual jealousy.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Just look at that man and tell me you don’t think he was a good kisser. Probably a bit more reserved, especially for their first kiss, but still surprisingly passionate? Like he’s trying to physically portray how much he cares about them, if that makes sense.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

He definitely thought about it for a little while before hand, not because he was nervous or unsure, but because he wanted to make sure he said it in a meaningful way. He definitely set up a special little date, like a picnic or a dinner, and even prepared a short little romantic speech, and it was very sweet.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He would LOVE to get married. If that’s not what his s/o wants, that’s perfectly fine, and he’d be happy to find a different way to express their commitment. But marriage sort of feeds into his idea of that perfect, stable future, and besides, he would jump on the opportunity to show his s/o how much he appreciates and cares about them. He’d come up with the most romantic, slightly elaborate proposal, probably not something public, but very grand. And of course, not much would change once they were married, but he would relish in that perceived sense of routine and stability.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Again, being the traditional guy he is, he’s big on traditional, slightly old fashioned nicknames. Mainly, it would be “angel”, but also “darling” or “love” (it’s very sweet).

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He’s pretty reserved about his feelings publicly, so it wouldn’t be obvious to outside people. People close to him might notice that he becomes a bit more optimistic and laughs a bit louder. With his s/o, however, he’s totally transparent, and he tells them over and over how much he loves them. Not that he has to, of course, because his body language makes it pretty obvious to them as well.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Definitely not big on PDA. He’s upfront about their relationship as long as his s/o agrees, it’s not something that he would want to hide. He’s fine holding their hand in public or wrapping an arm around them, but not really anything more obvious.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

He’s a surprisingly good dancer? Like, ballroom dancing. When one of them has had a stressful day, they put on old music and slow dance in the kitchen (it’s so romantic).

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s so romantic!! If you haven’t already figured it out, I really think he would like some of the traditional cliche romantic gestures, like roses or a candlelit dinner. But he’s also really creative, and he’d plan gestures that relate to his s/o’s interests and such.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He absolutely supports his s/o in anything they do, and he believes in them probably more than anyone else. He knows they will succeed in anything they put their mind to, and he takes it upon himself to offer help and support, doing whatever he can to help them reach their goals. It makes him actually really happy to see them setting big goals because it shows that they are choosing to believe in themselves, and because he loves seeing that they are passionate.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He’s more a routine kind of person, he likes the stability and comfort in some level of repetition. With that being said, he’s also definitely open to being adventurous, so like trying new restaurants or traveling together, so it would probably be a mix of both.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He’s incredibly understanding, he just knows his s/o so well. Erwin has very strong observational skills, and he learns pretty quickly how to read their emotions. He does sometimes have trouble relating to their issues, but he will always sympathize and comfort them, even if he can’t understand it.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship is really important to him. Obviously, he’s pretty work oriented, so there genuinely might be some issues there if the two start to clash. But he also actively prevents that from happening, making time for both because he cares about his s/o SO much.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He really likes watching documentaries with his s/o. Learning about something new and interesting, and being able to share that experience between the two of them, makes him happy. And when he gets really into the topic, his s/o can see the excitement on his face, which is really cute.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He comes across a bit cold in general, but he’s actually very affectionate with his s/o. Especially when he’s stressed or upset, he just wants to curl up with them and forget about outside pressures. I also very specifically think that giving his s/o a quick little kiss would be part of his morning routine before they part for the day.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He misses them when they’re gone for a while, but he just throws himself into his work until they’re back, which he doesn’t mind at all. He’s busy, and his s/o probably is as well, so it’s unfortunately not unusual for them to go a little while without seeing each other. They always make up for it with an extra special date night afterwards, though.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’s a strategist at heart, so of course he’d be willing to put in the effort and come up with ideas on how to keep their relationship strong. I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes up with literal written plans when it seems like they’re a little out of whack.

#attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan #aot headcanons #aot #shingeki no kyojin headcanons #shingeki no kyojin #snk headcanons #snk #Erwin Smith #commander erwin #erwin headcanons #erwin smith headcanons #erwin fluff #Eruri #fluff alphabet

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zukkoxx · 3 years

Text

mha boys realizing they’re in love pt.1

w/ deku, bakugo

tw⚠️ insecurities!, self doubt!

deku 🥦

izuku knew he loved you since you guys started dating.

he had liked you for a long time, and when you finally got together in your last year of UA, he couldn’t have been happier.

he planned on living the rest of his life with you. and would go through any feats to make it possible.

so when you started to feel doubts about your relationship? that was a wake up call for him.

you had just finished training, all sweaty and tired, walking back to your dorm with a towel around your neck.

you scrolled through your phone mindlessly, and just happened to come across a twitter post about your boyfriend, deku, who had just taken down one of the villains that’s been on the run for months.

you smiled. you were so proud of him. already achieving his dream in becoming one of the greatest heroes. and getting the recognition he finally deserved.

you made it your your dorm, slumping on your bed as you read some of the comments.

woah this guy is still attending UA!? he’ll be a great hero for sure

there’s no one like him!

deku strikes again! what a stud😍

you laughed at some, grimaced at others that claimed the mission was too easy for him. but one particular comment had you freezing in your spot.

is he single? i won’t hesitate to run to the scene and give him my hand in marriage right now!

you knew it was a fun, lighthearted comment. but you clicked the the commenters page and instantly noticed how beautiful as preppy she was.

she was also a big deku fan...probably had more merch than you.

you sighed and threw your phone across the bed.

for the past few weeks, you had been thinking about how different you and izuku were in terms of success.

you were both in your last year of high school, and he had already done so much.

worked on so many cases with pro heroes and went through successful missions all the time. he was destined to become the greatest hero.

and you?

well, you’ve never even caught a villain.

sure you’ve helped out on low grade missions for the hero you interned under, but you had never been publicly praised like izuku. you never stood out.

you had trouble believing you’d become a hero at all.

you always wondered, wouldn’t izuku be better off with someone that could keep up with him? who wouldn’t hold him back. someone who he wouldn’t leave in the dust when he excelled in the future.

he deserved someone better.

your thoughts were cut off when your dorm door brushed open, revealing no other than the man himself.

izuku walked into your room with worried eyes and seemed out of breath.

“y/n? ive texted and called a bunch of times. why haven’t you answered?” he asked, and you subtly turned to your phone that you discarded on the other half of the bed.

“my ringer was off. sorry izu.” you tired to give him a smile as he sat next to you on your bed. “i saw an article about your mission today. you were amazing!” you complimented.

“ahh you give me too much credit. i couldn’t have dont anything with the pro heroes and other people helping.”

“still, you’re a great hero. i wish i was like that.” you chuckle dryly, past insecurities already pushing forward again.

“what!? you’re a great hero y/n!” izuku exclaimed.

“i’ve barely done anything izuku. i don’t know how you put up with me. i should be able to help you on your missions, but i’m stuck in the same position i have been in. i don’t know when i’ll improve.”

you didn’t mean to sound so pathetic, but you had been feeling this way for so long. it was all just spilling out now.

and izuku? he literally stopped breathing when he heard what you were saying about yourself. “you deserve someone that will be able to keep up with you. what will people think when they find out the amazing deku is dating a weak, incapable, good for nothing-”

“don’t say one more word y/n.” izuku cuts you off, and you look up to meet his eyes piercing yours.

they were dark, nothing like their usual gleaming glow that shined when he looked at you.

there was no sign of amusement on any of his features. just dead seriousness

“what the hell are you talking about y/n?” he asks, but doesn’t give you a chance to respond. “you’re one of the most courageous, brave, intelligent, capable people i know! where is all of this coming from?”

“i’ve been thinking about it for a while. it’s just you’re so...amazing and i’m so...” you knew anything you could have said after that would make him even more angry. it was nothing positive.

god he probably hated you for being so insecure.

“you’re you, y/n.” izuku says softly. “you’re you and you’re who i love. i don’t care about what i do, what you do, who says what! i love you for you!”

izuku looks at you with so much love and compassion. you stared into his eyes, wondering what was gong on in his head.

well? at the moment he despised himself for letting you feel this way.

you were his whole world! the person who supported you in everything he did and he would support you in the same way! he couldn’t understand why you were feeling this way when he was literally...in love with you.

he loved you yeah of course, but hearing the way you were speaking about yourself, and how you had doubts about your relationship made his heart physically hurt. he was absolutely and unconditionally in love with you and wouldn’t be able to see himself with anyone else.

and he needed you to hear it.

“y/n you’re my everything! i’m so in love with you, no amount of fame or recognition could make me even think about leaving you!” izuku said urgently, and he finally calmed down when he saw a slight smile reach your lips.

a real one this time.

the conversation continued, and izuku promised to let you learn and remember how in love he was with you until it was the last thing he’d do.

bakugo 💥

bakugo would never pursue anyone unless he definitely knew he loved them.

so of course he never asked you out when he couldn’t differentiate if what he felt for you was love, or if it was a stupid little crush.

he didn’t like thinking about his feelings, especially the irrelevant ones.

he was trying to become the number one hero. who needed time for love anyways?

so he ignored his “feelings” for you, not allowing them to confuse him any longer.

it wasn’t until a few months into his third year when bakugo got the worst news of his life.

you were on a mission. an important one that had you absent from school for weeks.

bakugo was worried.

he’d text you every few days, asking what was going on and how things were and you’d always respond with “it’s fine.” or “we’re hanging in there.”

he assumed it was a pretty difficult mission, but nothing you couldn’t handle.

you were strong

so when he heard from a certain icy-hot that you were in the hospital in critical condition after completing the mission, he forgot about everything and ran straight to you.

ignoring aizawa’s calls, he almost blasted himself out of UA and checked every hospital for you, considering he didn’t even ask todoroki which one you were in before he left.

when he finally reached the hospital holding you, he sprinted to your room.

he found you hooked up to a bunch of wires and tests.

you looked peaceful, sleeping while the heart monitor beeped beside you.

but you looked horrible. bloody bandages covered almost every limb, and your body was covered in bruises.

bakugo’s heart dropped to his stomach. he couldn’t stand seeing you like this.

why does his feelings have to be 100x more noticeable when your tragically hurt!?

he sat down on the empty chair beside the hospital bed, wondering why no one else was visiting at this time.

he stared at you, something he couldn’t get off of his mind lately.

“why do you make me feel things, dumbass?” he asked, waiting for a response. “i never skip class! you just had to get hurt and make me skip the test review.” he rolled his eyes, but his face softened as he looked at you, still sleeping.

“i’ll help you study. you’ll probably fail without going over what we learned.”

.....

“would you wake up, you shitty woman!” he yelled, gripping the side of your bed “this is scary, you know?”

.....

“i should’ve called you today, i just assumed you’d be too busy to talk. if you told me you were in trouble, i’d blast my ass to wherever you were in a heartbeat.” bakugo said, feeling his actual heart skip a beat when you still didn’t respond.

“please wake up...”

after about an hour of waiting, your other classmates came in, checking on your condition.

you still hadn’t woken up, but your vitals were better and your breath were more steady.

by the time night fell, everyone left; except for bakugo

he was just starting to fall asleep when he felt she. he heard you stir in the hospital bed.

his head shot up, quickly turning to face you as he saw you blinking you eyes slowly.

“y/n!” he yelled a little louder than anticipated, making you shoot awake and look at him.

you blinked a few more times before realizing who you were looking at. “katsuki!?” you asked, trying to sit up, but feeling a sharp pain in your side.

“hey! don’t move dumbass. are you okay? do you remember anything?” he frantically asked.

“umm...i’m fine?” you said, sounding like you were trying to convince yourself. “why are you here?”

“why am i here? you were admitted into the hospital in critical condition!”

“i-i’m sorry, everything’s a bit fuzzy right now.” you say softly, putting a hand on your forehead and tryin got remember everything.

bakugo softened, and waited until you got yourself together. “how long have you been here?” you ask

“since this morning.”

“this morning!? katsuki what about school? do your parents even know you’re here?”

“why the hell are you worried about me? you’re the one hooked up to all these machines and can barely move!” bakugo yelled, trying to understand why you were so focused on him being there with you.

“i just never thought you’d be the one to go out of your way to check on someone. let alone be here the whole day...” you whispered, suddenly feeling shy at the idea of bakugo keeping your sleeping body company for hours.

bakugo froze at your words.

he really wasn’t the type to go check on people for more than a few minutes. especially not one to skip school because of it.

maybe he did this because he felt a little more than what he thought he did.

maybe this wasn’t a stupid little crush? maybe it was something serious that he had just been blowing off.

when he heard about your condition, he just couldn’t stand by. there must have been something that pushed him to run to you.

“it’s cause u care about you...idiot. i wasn’t gonna a let you suffer here alone.” he huffs, crossing his arms.

“katsukiii do you like me or something?” you asked in a teasing tone

he couldn’t believe you were making jokes at a time like this. furthermore, he couldn’t believe how easy it was for you to see through his facade.

“i do.” he states. there was no point in lying.

“i was just kidding kats-“

“i’m not.” he cuts you off. “i care about you, and i like you. a lot. so...you better like be bad damn it. or i’ll blow you to bits!”

you chuckled and smiled tenderly at him. you definitely weren’t expecting him to say that, but you weren’t complaining.

“i like you too...i guess.” you smile, and katsuki tsked before smirking at you.

he finally felt like he could breath again, and that everything was going to be fine now.

except...katsuki didn’t like you. he loved you. but no way would he tell you that

this absolutely sucks i can’t believe i’m posting this. if you can, plz give me some requests so i don’t make trash hcs like this again. they’ll be a pt.2 later. hopefully it isn’t as bad as this one.

click here to send a request. i’d really appreciate it!

#mha fluff #mha #bakugou imagine #bakugo x y/n #bakugo katsuki #bakugou headcanons #bakugou x you #bakugou x reader #bakugo headers #deku headcanons #deku x reader #izuku headcanons #deku x y/n #deku x you #izuku x you

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crazy-loca-blog · 3 years

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Disclaimer: Please note I’m neither a psychologist, nor a psychiatrist nor an expert in mental health. Everything I’m writing here is based on some reading I’m currently doing on this topic and on some personal experiences.

Even though I’m really, really happy and my heart is exploding because most of the LIs FINALLY stopped treating our MC as a friend and began to treat them publicly as a significant other (because you’ve deserved it for a long, long time guys!), I know that those people who are romancing Ethan are actually hurt and mad because he seems to be pushing our MC away AGAIN. But what if I told you I’m beginning to see this as canon for him? Like he’s actually not pushing the MC away because he wants to but because he is showing a part of his personality or something that is a result of his experiences as a kid instead?

A few days ago, I found a psychology article about attachment and how self-sufficiency can be very negative when taken to the extreme. For some reason, the article really stuck with me because I had never heard something like that and because I might have felt that some of the stuff on it represented me, to the point that I talked to some psychologist friends because I wanted to know more about it. And after reading the latest Open Heart chapter, I couldn’t stop wondering “what if this is the actual reason why Ethan seems to be pushing the MC away? What if he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing?”

These are some excerpts from the article (the original one is in Spanish):

“Being excessively independent and self-sufficient is a sign of having suffered great disappointments, to the point that we feel that we cannot trust anyone but ourselves.”

Sounds familiar? Another one:

“[…] when we show ourselves to be hyper-independent -and we don’t resort to the help of third parties- we are actually revealing something deeper. Some defense mechanism to protect us against the eventual possibility of rejection, damage or suffering.”

And what do you think of this longer one?

“[…] as adults, [these children] stick with their careers and what they feel they can control. Deep and intimate relationships turn into threats. Being vulnerable is not an option, because if they are rejected […] they may find the loneliness they know well. When they grow up, people who create bonds from avoidant attachment find it difficult to recognize their own needs. They are extremely independent, they can do everything on their own, but they really fear not being good enough for others, and ultimately they fear rejection. They are adaptive people, who can even be very successful in a society, but when it comes to intimate relationships, it is difficult for them to overcome those barriers.”

And a bonus, just because I can’t leave this out:

“This hyper independence can be linked to traumatic situations, even unconsciously. These experiences can translate into greater difficulty when setting up a couple project or a work project, or when committing to someone or something. Because of course, committing also means showing yourself vulnerable.”

Did you read them all? These quotes have the name Ethan Ramsey written all over the place! All of them are from professional psychologists who based their opinions on the Maturational Processes and the Facilitating Environment: Studies in the Theory of Emotional Development by Donald Winnicott and on the Theory of Attachment by John Bowlby. Based on this theory, Ethan would be an avoidant attachment type of person. In very simple words, he is “someone who […] often sees himself as independent and able to ‘go it alone’. He often maintains strict boundaries, can be emotionally distant, and has a hard time opening up to their partners or making and keeping close relationships.”

So based on all of this, I think Ethan may not even notice that he’s pushing the MC away because that’s part of who he is. He is so used to solve everything by himself, to be independent and to not rely on anyone when he has a problem (because that’s how he has managed to survive all of his life), that even though the MC constantly tells him that he’s not alone anymore he has trouble processing the message. The fact that he is also an only child may have even helped to exacerbate this behavior because, as he has no siblings, he had no choice but to deal with things by himself (and here I’m talking from the experience, I was an only child until I was 14 and I left my parents’ home right after turning 18, so you can tell I know a thing or two about growing up on your own).

His relationship with his dad also had an effect on him. Alan even described Ethan as a perfect son for a single parent. He always did his homework, helped at home and worked during summer. And he even said he didn’t have to motivate Ethan to do anything, that he did all of that by himself. But then the article says: “Parents who generate avoidant attachments with their children are mostly caregivers who are not fully emotionally available to them and therefore are concerned that they function from autonomy. That makes the child act in a certain way, to try to attract or to please those unavailable dads.” So what if Ethan did all of this not only because he wanted to do it, but also because he was involuntarily trying to please his dad? The article adds: “It is not a lack of love [from the parents]; it has to do with the caregivers having difficulties on terms of affective connection, so these children learn to adapt and be complacent.”

Should we also analyze Ethan’s social skills? We all know he hates parties and having to socialize could be a nightmare for him. Do you remember that he became friends with Dolores just because she kept in touch with him and she was the one who invited him to have a coffee? Or how Naveen took him under his wing not only as his mentee, but also as his putative son and friend? Or more recently… have you ever noticed how he basically never mingles with our friends, especially in book 3? Have you ever seen him at Donahue’s talking to anyone but the MC and Reggie? Did you notice that during Ines’ wedding he wasn’t with Harper and Tobias, with Naveen or with Baz? He is always by himself!

Let’s move on to his romantic relationships. Besides the MC, the only relationship we know about is with Harper. Have you ever wondered how their relationship was? For some reason, I’ve always felt it wasn’t as serious for him (we don’t have her side of the story). Sure, he cares about her a lot, but he never loved her, even though they dated for a long time. In fact, when I hear him talking about his relationship with Harper, I kind of feel like the only reason they were dating was to keep each other company. Did they have plans as a couple? Did they ever live together? Did they meet each other families? Did they ever talk about marriage? Did he ever tell her he loved her? I have too many questions, but for some reason I think the answer to all of them is “no”.

Finally, have you noticed how focused he is on his job? And please let’s forget about Ethan in book 3 because we all know the MC is solving every single case… I mean… he must have been an intern or a resident when he wrote his book! Let’s also remember how he was obsessed with diagnosing Naveen in book 1 or how in book 2 he focused himself on helping as many patients as possible before Edenbrook’s closure. Of course, let’s add that the man is a perfectionist as well (do you remember when he was mortified and ashamed for misdiagnosing a patient ONCE?).

So yeah, I’m beginning to think that all of this is not about Ethan being mean to the MC and repeating the same story over and over again on purpose. Instead, I think it has to do with his personality as a character and with his childhood experiences. But of course, we all know there is no way that PB makes any reference to this, I just needed to get it off my chest (and to stay awake until 5:30 am writing this) because when I connected everything I was like "OMG!" 🤯

Where can you find more info about this topic?

https://bit.ly/3toNBaA (this one in Spanish, but Google Translator might help you to understand it)

https://bit.ly/33qmbGP (this one is in English)

#playchoices #choices stories you play #open heart #choices open heart #open heart choices #ethan ramsey

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irontinystar · 4 years

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hi! i was wondering if you’d recommend other authors that you enjoy or even specific fanfics you like? i’ve only just started getting into the steve/tony fandom and want to follow more people! thank you!

Hi there!!! Welcome to the fandom!!!<3<3<3

I’m so glad you asked this question since I’ve always wanted to do a fic rec post!!!!

HERE WE GO:

10K+ WORDS (ONE CHAPTER) FICS:

Quit while you’re ahead by magicasen

“It began, as things tend to between them, as a bet.”

the reason you ruminate the shadowy past by Mizzy

“So, Captain America effectively manages to cockblock Tony for a year.

It's not Steve's fault. Well, actually, it is. But he was just proving a point - that if a superhero is gay, how can it be wrong? Steve just picked the wrong superhero to make the point with. Now America will think they're dating - and Tony's not going to be the guy to break Captain America's heart.

There's only one way out. To save face, Steve and Tony have to become fake boyfriends. Steve thinks the "boyfriends" bit will be the hardest to act... but maybe it's the "fake" part that will be the hardest act of all...”

made to make you blue by gottalovev

“Steve, drunk for the first time since the serum, hits on Tony. It's everything Tony's ever dreamt about, but he refuses to have sex with a drunk Steve who can't truly consent. They do kiss, though, and Tony stays the night. The morning after brings a misunderstanding of disastrous proportion, where both men wrongly assume the other is uninterested. Life gets extremely complicated when Enchantress, mad at Thor, casts a spell that links people who love each other together, letting them feel the other's pain.”

On the Turning Away by thegraytigress

“Tony's new relationship with Steve is going great. They're a few weeks into it, and it's utterly amazing. He's feeling better and more sure of himself than he ever has before. Honestly, he's flying high.

But then he asks Steve a simple, logical, and seemingly innocent question: "do you want to spend the night?" And everything comes crashing down.”

love the sin, love the sinner by silkspectred

“It keeps happening. Not often, just once or twice a month, but it keeps happening. Always in the same way: it’s unplanned, sudden, unexpected, Steve is surprised and eager, his dick goes from zero to one hundred in two seconds, Tony’s touch is electric, everything he does drives Steve crazy, but he never lets Steve kiss him, he very rarely looks Steve in the eye, he never talks, never makes a sound when he comes, never mentions it later.”

Of Beards and Best Defenders by nannersmelo

“Tony finds out about when Steve had a beard once upon a time, and outraged that he never got to see it, decides to find a way to witness it by himself.”

Tony Pretends To Date Steve (Until He Doesn't Have To) by HappyStony

“"You alright?"

Of course he was not alright! Tony had a blue eyed, blond haired, six foot too high, two hundred who knows what pound, too sexy for his own good ninety something, mentally twenty, year old man on top of him. Who even asks that question in a situation like that?

Or: Basically the title. Tony pretends he's dating Steve until...well, you know.”

i have found the one (whom my soul loves) by soniclipstick (veriscence)

“It's been months since the Avengers were pardoned. One by one, they'd all gone home, until Steve finds himself alone in the grand old building T'Challa had given them.

But everything changes when Steve answers the doorbell, and Tony Stark strides in with more grey on his temple and make-up on his face than Steve remembers.”

Hating Steve Rogers by nanasekei

“The thing about hating Steve Rogers is that it shouldn’t be easy - but it really, really is.”

we have become something different, beloved (tragic and lovely) by Areiton, venusiaries

“"What's the Accords?" he asks, and Tony's head tilts. "I don't think that concerns you," he says. "But you don't deny that it's something." "There's a lot of something's I'm involved in that you don't know about," Tony says.

~~~~

There's a story, years long and publicly known, about the way the Avengers ended and why. And then there is the truth, carefully hidden and protected.”

remedy by quidhitch

““I like the walls,” Steve shrugs, knocking his knuckles against the side as if to demonstrate. “Makes me feel covered.”

A soldier in a fortress, Tony thinks, which is a pretty ridiculous thought to have about Captain America and his enormous limbs stuffed into a too-small bathtub, but there it is.

Or: Tony Stark learns a thing or two about what it means to be In Recovery™.”

Binary System by Annie D (scaramouche) ( @no-gorms )

“Tony tends to be tactile with people he trusts. These days that list of people includes Steve, which is a good sign of the progression of their friendship. For his part, Steve seems to enjoy it as much as Tony does... until Tony goes a little too far.”

The Best Policy by starknjarvis

“Tony Stark breezes through life on bluster and bullshit. When he gets hit by a truth spell, he locks himself away in his workshop so he can find a way to reverse it without anyone finding out. So why can't he say no when Steve keeps asking to spend time with him?”

Slipping off the Page into Your Hands by Sineala ( @sineala )

“Soulmates have their first words to each other written on their wrists. This should make it easy. For Steve and Tony, it is anything but. Steve's problem is that the future he has awoken into is nothing he was ever expecting: he has a soulmate now. Who might be a robot. And if his soulmate is Iron Man, how can he be so attracted to Tony Stark? It should be impossible. Tony's problem is that he is Iron Man, his soulmate is a man whom he in no way deserves, and he is going to fight everything in his heart and do his best to make sure Steve never, ever finds out the whole truth.”

How to Win Affection Without Really Trying by Annie D (scaramouche)

“Tony almost dies saving Steve’s life, but that’s just part of being an Avenger. It’s no reason for Steve to get all weird and intense around him afterward.”

A Certain Affinity by miobambiino ( @miobambiino )

“"They were like that a lot nowadays, ever since they got back from their little kidnapping escapade. Sure, they’d been close before then - they all had - but now… it was different. They were close, close. Squishing up next to each other, whispering to one another, playing with each others hair, apparently.

Steve inwardly grimaced at himself. He was being bitter and petty, he knew that. But he couldn’t figure out why, though. His teammates were getting along, which is only a good thing. Especially considering how they started things off way back on the helicarrier. But since when were Tony and Nat this cosy?"

Aka Steve is jealous of Tony and Nat's friendship, gets the wrong idea, and requires a little help from Nat herself to get some well-needed perspective.”

Admiring the Scenery by Annie D (scaramouche)

“Steve’s used to people checking him out, but when Tony does it, it feels… different.”

Symmetry Breaking by Annie D (scaramouche)

“After the Battle of New York, Steve rode off on his motorbike. That's how it went the first time.

This time he rides back, all the way to Stark Tower, where he asks Tony for help.”

MULTICHAPTERS FICS:

almeno tu nell'universo by silkspectred

“Tony drives off.

Well, he wants to.

But he can’t.

Because.

Steve Rogers is in front of his car.

Steve fucking Rogers. Is in front of Tony’s fucking car.”

take my heart clean apart by mistymountainking

“He’s tired, so tired of waiting, tired of touches with no meaning, tired of holding his breath when Steve’s in the room, tired of keeping this love to himself.

“I can’t—I can’t, if you don’t mean it.”

***

Tony comes home exhausted after an SI event. Steve acts as welcoming committee. It's an old, careworn routine they've perfected over the years, but tonight ends up going in a very different direction.”

Thrust Issues by Sineala

“A battle gone wrong leads Tony to the unexpected and pleasant discovery that Steve is much more well-endowed than he could ever have imagined. But when Tony learns that Steve has never actually been able to sleep with anyone because of his size, Tony does what any good friend would do: he offers to relieve Steve of his virginity. Personally. Tony's determined, Tony's methodical, and Tony has a plan. He's going to get Steve laid. Tony just needs to make sure Steve never finds out that Tony's in love with him.”

Overhaul by Annie D (scaramouche)

“Steve knows that Tony has feelings for him and, since he doesn’t return those feelings, has been mildly dreading the day that Tony decides to do something about it. When that day finally arrives, Steve discovers that Tony’s wooing strategy isn’t anything at all like he’d expected.”

Whatever Makes You Happy by WilmaKins ( @wilmakins )

“Steve and his team never stopped Avenging. So when T'Challa tells them about strange events at the site of an ancient landmark, everything seems quite simple. Of course they'll help Shuri to investigate it - helping people is what they do, after all.

Until they discover that a race of alien empaths are harvesting human emotions as a source of power. Specifically, they're using the misery of one Tony Stark.

So, until they work out what's really going on, the fate of the world might depend on them keeping Tony happy.

Not simple. Not simple at all.

Set six months after CA:CW.”

a catalog of non-definitive acts by firebrands ( @firebrands )

“Tony's seen the way Steve watches him, trails after him just for a moment, then catches himself. Let it never be said that Tony Stark doesn’t pay attention. At least, when it matters.

Or, Steve, Tony, and the emotional fallout of keeping secrets. (Set in some nebulous time pre-AoU.)”

The Single Biggest Problem With Communication by BlossomsintheMist

“In the wake of Steve's return from the dead and the end of Norman Osborn's reign of terror, the superhero community is recovering--Steve has taken on a new role and Tony is trying to put his life back together. Things are still awkward between them, but they're determined to put things to rights. But when a discussion about their feelings leads to further misunderstandings, they discover that might be more difficult than either of them realized. Set in the early Heroic Age after the end of Dark Reign, this is a get-together story about crossed wires--and second chances.”

Broken by livink ( @anthonyed )

“After Siberia, Tony Stark faces depression, a giant purple alien and a forced reunion. Ironically, he feels as if he's the only one who is broken in this journey. Until he comes across Barnes. Then, Bruce, Natasha and Wanda. Later, he realises that the man who broke him is broken too and this is a story where they heal and find their footings back.”

wonderland by Areiton

“Six weeks after being abandoned in Siberia, Tony wakes in a Tower, next to the man who broke his heart and his trust. But the world--whatever Wonderland world they’ve landed in--isn’t like their own. The Avengers are happy here. Tony and Steve are married here. With a direct line to Steve’s emotions and the team that he’s always wanted--Tony is more than a little tempted to stay. Seeing how happy Tony is, how healthy Bucky is--Steve doesn’t disagree. But there are cracks in Wonderland and the shiny paint peeling might leave a nightmare behind--one that Tony and Steve will need each other more than ever, to escape.”

when i run out of road, you bring me home by quidhitch

““Oh, I won’t bother you.” The tone of Steve’s voice implies that he definitely will be bothering Tony, aggressively and frequently. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll keep to my farm, you keep to yours. Solitude together.”

Tony opens his mouth to argue that that’s not how this works, but he snaps it shut at the realization that Steven Grant Rogers is fucking with him. That twinkle in his eye has accelerated into a full-on glimmer, and the ends of his lips are twitching. Jesus, he hates this man. Or maybe he wishes he did. Tony can’t really tell the difference anymore.”

Down in Lonesome Town by resurrectedhippo

“Tony eyes him. “Why do I always find my way back to you?”

Maybe he didn’t necessarily return to Steve, but fate is a funny little thing, and after living a life of loss, Steve wants something that’s his to keep. Tony deserves a love that’s unrestrained; Steve thinks he’ll erupt with it.

Love is messy, not easy, and takes work.

Maybe love feels like rage.

But maybe love could just be jumping off a rocky mountain and smiling anyway.

After the universe is restored, Steve is lost without any direction. Retiring from the Avengers, he moves across the country and ends up building a house by a misty blue lake. Across the bridge is Tony Stark’s new workshop.”

In the Stillness of Remembering by elise_509

“Steve Rogers is a reminder of a past that Tony Stark would rather forget. But when Steve’s own ghosts suddenly become the present, Tony finds he and Steve need each other to face the future.”

Good For You by orbingarrow

“Steve doesn't understand why Tony dates people who abuse him. Tony doesn't understand why Steve cares.

The rest is bad choices, good choices, rehab, milkshakes, paintball, YouTube videos, couples therapy and learning to put the past in the past. Or: How Tony finds his happy ending.”

SERIES:

Pulse-Point by itsallAvengers

Guys and Bots by Annie D (scaramouche)

AUTHORS:

I love very deeply each author of the fics I’ve listed, but these are the main blogs I follow here on tumblr who regularly post 1K (more or less) words fic:

@omg-just-peachy

@no-gorms

@maguna-stxrk

@natasharxmanov

@s-horne

@firebrands

@iam93percentstardust

@anthonyed

@ad1thi

@littlemissstark

@chirriko

@tinytonysnark

(Plus self-spam: MrsWinterBreath , my own ao3 profile!)

Lastly, check @sabrecmcstonyficrecs blog by @sabrecmc who is not only an extremely talented writer themself, but also incredibly patient and kind enough to offer masterposts with fics about any Stony trope you could ever think of!!!

This is a non-exhaustive list because there are a LOT more authors out there that deserve their works to be read, so I suggest you giving it a chance even to fics and authors you’ve never heard of, you might find a masterpiece without even realising it!!!!

And most importantly: always leave a kudos and comment if you liked what you read, this way I guarantee you the authors will be more than happy to keep on providing you with amazing works!!!!

#stony #stony fic #stony fanfiction #stevetony #stevetony fic #stevetony fanfiction #steve x tony #tony x steve #superhusbands #iron man #captain america #tony stark #steve rogers #stony fic rec #stevetony fic rec

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kaminobiwan · 4 years

Text

brain freeze

pairing: captain rex x reader (ohoHOHOH)

summary: I ate ice cream and I wanted to write Rex eating ice cream too. that’s literally all this is

a/n: VERY THROWN TOGETHER these were just thoughts in my head I had while eating some good ass choc ice cream man. I left it ambiguous as to whether there’s an established relationship goin on here….up to you to take this as my characteristic yearning™ or dating domesticity heheh

also I’d just like to dedicate this to/publicly blame @highlycommendable for being the biggest reason I fell in love w/ Rex like come ON I dare you to read In the Battlefield and not do the same. do it. DO ITASDFDK

“I don’t believe you.”

Your arms are crossed across your old tee, and your tone is serious. Rex has never been good at reading a poker face — almost as bad as he is at lying — but doesn’t think he’s seen this look on your face before.

“Why would I lie about this?”

“I don’t know, but I still don’t believe you.”

He doesn’t know how you even got to this topic. One minute you had struck up a chat with him about…actually, Rex doesn’t even know what you’d been talking about. Sometimes, in the tiredness that claimed him at the end of the day, he just liked to listen to your voice as you carried on the conversation, and usually you’d grant him that silence.

But today, somehow, you’ve reached the subject of ice cream, and when Rex had informed you that he’d never had it, not once, you had gawked. Cue the pouty accusation.

“It’s not like it’ll make you seem less manly, Rex. I’ve heard you singing in the shower.” At your words, Rex feels his face redden indignantly. It was one time…

“I’ve just never had the chance! Is that really so hard to accept?” He’s kind of annoyed, now, and confused as to why you’re pressing this. “They weren’t exactly giving us dessert and tucking us in with bedtime stories on Kamino, you know.”

The amused disbelief immediately drops from your face, quickly morphing into remorse. Rex can tell you hadn’t meant to make him feel bad. But what he’d said was true — he’d been bred to be a soldier, not a human being.

“Rex, I’m sorry.” You wring your hands, and he shakes his head in dismissal. “I was just surprised. I realize it was stupid.”

“S’fine. Really, not a big deal.”

“It is!” You insist, and he just wishes you’d drop the whole thing. Who cared what he ate, as long as it got him through the day and kept him alive? Food was just a way of sustaining his strength. “I know exactly how to make it up to you, though. Be ready in five minutes — and lose the armor.”

———

“A diner? Kinda thought you’d take me to 79’s, buy me a drink or something.”

“Or something,” you snort, leading him through the entrance. “I’ll have you know that this is vital information, Captain. Consider this an informational excursion.” Your eyes glint with purpose, and Rex had learned long ago that it was just wiser to go along with whatever you wanted when you were set on something.

And, that smile of yours could command him to do things almost as well as an order from General Skywalker could. Not that Rex would ever say that out loud.

A throaty call of your name draws his attention to the counter, where a Besalisk is grinning behind stained chef’s attire. “Welcome back!”

“Dexi Jet,” you drawl happily, as you slap one of the chef’s four arms when he reaches the two of you. “It’s good to see you.”

“Never got time to see your old friend anymore, eh? This who’s got all your attention now?” Rex balks when he’s pointed to, and you snicker at his expression.

“You could say that,” you answer, and place your other hand up on Rex’s shoulder. “Rex, meet Dex. Dex, this is Captain Rex of the 501st. Should be easy enough to remember, right?” If you ask Rex, you seem a little too pleased at the similarity between their names, but he holds his tongue.

“Should be. Any friend of my most loyal customer is a friend of mine,” Dex agrees, and stretches his lips into a friendly simper, and Rex gives an awkward attempt at a smile in reply. “Take a seat, you two. You want your usual order?”

“Actually, something else this time, Dex,” you call as he retreats back to the kitchen. “Trying to sweeten up the Captain here.”

Rex can’t help but roll his eyes.

———

Minutes later, he’s holding an ice cream cone in his hand, delivered promptly by the droid waitress you had referred to as “FLO”. Rex supposed it fit the vibe of the diner, along with her tinny accented voice and the way she called everyone “honey”.

Any droid that wasn’t trying to kill him would always be a shock at first. You had smirked at the way he’d stumbled over a “thank you”.

“The upper levels are weird,” he grunted, angling the cone so that a milky drip of chocolate didn’t fall on his fingers. He’d never felt comfortable amidst all the people in the capital that went about their lives — as if they weren’t in the middle of a war. Ones that had never seen the front lines save for a holo on the news. Here, “shiny” was a compliment.

“Careful,” you chide lightheartedly, already halfway finished with your dessert. “These are my old stomping grounds. I used to eat here all the time during my university days.” You look expectantly at him, then to the cone in his hand.

Rex sighs internally. Best to just get it over with.

He goes to bite the ice cream, but you almost jab him in they eye with the way your hand shoots out to stop him. “Not like that! You’ll regret it, trust me. It makes your teeth hurt if you bite into it. You lick it, like this.” You demonstrate accordingly, and it takes a lot of strength for Rex to keep certain thoughts out of his head. Another time.

He frowns at his cone, then tentatively pokes out his tongue to lick it as you’d done. The cold pricks his senses, but the ice cream is soft, much softer than he’d expected. He licks it again, less reluctant this time.

“Well?”

“It’s—” Rex lets the flavor melt over his taste buds, savoring the sensation. “It’s good.”

You laugh out in delight, and his head shoots over to make sure you’re not recording him to show his brothers later. Thankfully, you’re watching him excitedly, finishing off your own ice cream. “I told you! Isn’t it great?”

“I’ve had chocolate before, but this is…really good.”

“It’s delicious,” you correct him, and he quirks a smile at the way you almost sound offended. “Dex uses Trammistan chocolate, from Trammis III. Total game changer. And less than two credits!”

That jolts him out of his sweet relishing. He hadn’t thought to bring money before the pair of you had left. You notice the way he pauses, though, and nudge him in the arm. “Rex, did you not hear me? It’s not even two credits. Anyways, this is my treat.”

Rex shrugs, albeit stubbornly.

He’s still not used to the way you always want to take care of him, be kind to him. Almost every good thing someone had done for him had been transactional — until he’d met you.

You beam at him, drinking in his enjoyment, and begin to crunch on the Cerean cone. “Don’t eat it too fast, though. It’ll hurt your brain, too.”

“Seems like a lot of ways to hurt yourself by just eating it.”

“Hey, high risk, high reward.” You counter, as if you’d just pointed out a flaw in one of his battle plans. “Now, let’s get the Neuvian sundae! I want you to try the Denta bean flavor.”

———

Three weeks later, when the 501st is on leave once again, you bring the boys some takeout and relay a message to Rex from the diner: Dex is thrilled at the influx of new customers, but he really has to warn his brothers about brain freeze — the clones seem to be easily incapacitated by ice cream, and it’s starting to worry Dex about the vulnerability of the soldiers fighting the war. The last part is a joke, you reassure him.

Rex can only shake his head to hide his uneven smile.

#rini writes #i just had to get this out of my system LOL #captain rex x reader #captain rex imagine #captain rex x you #this has been in my drafts for days but there is no more i can do for it #we can pretend that the clones in the gif are running for the nerfburgers you have brought for them?? yes?#i just think rexy looks so beautiful here #anyways i’ll stop! these tags are so long lol #as always ily enjoy xx

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trainsinanime · 3 years

Text

Here’s a Miraculous Ladybug story idea that I may write some time, but probably not, because I only really care about chapter two of what would probably need to be at least ten.

Chapter one features Lila going after Marinette full-force. Not the weak boring „she rips up her notebook so hard that Marinette has to move to Gotham“ crap. We’re doing this properly: Lila convinces the Mayor that Marinette is planning to resurrect Napoleon and bring him back to power. So the Mayor has Marinette imprisoned without trial, because apparently he can do that in the Miraculous universe, and not even her friends or family know what’s going on.

Chapter 3 and later will detail how Marinette managed to escape the prison after fourteen years, with the help of a professional hypnotist. She discovers a pirate treasure on a small uninhabited island off the coast of Italy. With the money from the treasure, she buys the island and the title of nobility that comes with it, and returns to Paris. Rich, and now officially a countess, she will reward those who were loyal to her, and destroy all her enemies. (I haven’t yet worked out what that means in detail.)

But the really interesting part for me is what happens in those fourteen years. Here are my notes. Content warning: Dark, Major Character Death, Intended as over-the-top and silly but maybe not over-the-top enough, and of course, Adrien/Lila:

With Marinette gone, a lot of joy drops from the class immediately. Everybody loves her, and they only have weird rumours about what happened to her, rumours that they can’t believe even if the source is Lila. (No, we’re not doing class salt. Yes, that means my options for enemies in the later chapters are limited. I don’t care, I love Alya and the rest of the class and I am not throwing them under the bus.)

The first time Ladybug doesn’t appear to a fight, everybody is pissed. The second time, they’re even more pissed. The third time, they’re worried.

Chat Noir does his best. He decides to capture the Akumas, so Ladybug can cleanse them when she returns. For now, he stores them in mason jars. After a bit of thought, he decided to just store them in the cellar of the mansion, in a box labelled „Adrien’s favourite toys“. Nobody ever looks there.

No Ladybug means no cleanup. (The ear rings are kept in the warden’s office in Marinette’s prison, so Ladybug is out of commission for fourteen years). Adrien again tries to help, spending way too much time cataclysming debris. A child has lost their favourite plush shark in a river of chocolate? Chat Noir manages to „find“ and „clean“ it. No, it’s totally the same shark, not a new one that he just bought, believe me. The child is happy, but clearly it’s not enough.

The first time the Eiffel Tower is destroyed, rebuilding it is a matter of national pride. If Ladybug is gone, then France will step in. Gabriel donates a lot to the effort.

The second time the Eiffel Tower is destroyed, authorities decide to leave the debris as a monument. The statue for Ladybug disappears.

With no Ladybug, Hawkmoth realises that he can’t get the ear rings. Attacks decrease, to once a month, then once every three months; apparently just to check whether Ladybug has returned. Around Adrien’s eighteenth birthday, it seems like Hawkmoth might retire for good. On a completely unrelated note, Gabriel appears to have lost all will to live.

Adrien can’t escape Lila, who continues to be employed by Gabriel, despite her not being very good at photoshoots. But he does his best to keep his distance.

Shortly after Adrien’s birthday, he is away, while Lila has a meeting with Gabriel and Nathalie. But tragedy strikes: Lila arrives and witnesses Gabriel shooting Nathalie and then himself. Why would he do such a thing? Good thing Lila is such a reliable witness. The case is so clear that the police don’t even have to check the gun for fingerprints.

Adrien is stricken with grief. He tries to call his friends, but nobody will reply. It’s almost as if someone with access to Gabriel’s computer had used the spy software on Adrien’s phone to disable it. But that’s clearly absurd. There is only one other person who is there to comfort him: Lila. Adrien doesn’t like her, but she is someone familiar. She spends the night.

The next morning, Adrien is disgusted, and the two part ways. But two months later, she reappears and tells him she is pregnant and it’s his child. She has a whole speech prepared about how he needs to take responsibility, but it’s not necessary: Adrien will not let his child grow up without a father.

The next month, the wedding is a weird affair. Lila wanted something grandiose, and she got it. But all their friends know that this is anything but true love.

Alix wonders aloud what Marinette’s role would have been if she had been here. Alya jokingly says that she’d be the bride. Adrien overhears, and he realises: Yeah, she would have been. He loves her. Always had. This moment is when the only wedding picture is taken where Adrien smiles.

Seven months later, Gabriel Agreste Junior is born. Adrien loves his son with all his heart, but he has questions. But Lila and her top-notch expensive doctors assure him that this is perfectly normal, sometimes pregnancies take a month longer or two. Adrien is not fully convinced, but he doesn’t want to cause a fuss.

Around this time we also get a new Hawkmoth, who is much meaner, but doesn’t seem to have as clear a goal. Everybody’s best guess is that this Hawkmoth is just going after whoever last pissed them off. (Totally forgot this one in the original version of the post, sorry)

Two years later, Lila’s daughter Emma Marinette Agreste Junior is born. Adrien picked the second name while Lila was asleep. Since Lila is not involved with her kid’s upbringing at all, she has not yet noticed. This time, Adrien is convinced that something is up and Lila is lying to him. The reason: He has recently learned how babies are made, and he knows for a fact that he never did that with Lila.

He confronts her. Lila isn’t concerned, though. What’s he going to do? Divorce her? Then he’s never going to see the kids again. The things she could make a court believe… Adrien is horrified by that thought, especially since he knows very well that he’s the only one in the marriage who loves these children.

Meanwhile, Lila’s own career as an actress isn’t going well. She’s a great natural talent, sure; she can make anyone believe anything. But to be a great actor, you still have to turn up on set every day, and not just when you feel like it. Oh, sure, she has great excuses, but the jobs still dry up fast. And while you can make up a story that makes you look good about one make-up artist you made cry, maybe two, there is a point where it becomes a problem.

She blames Adrien for this, mostly because he will generally not back up her lies about where she was. He doesn’t really care, though. Despite her threats, what’s she gonna do, leave with the kids? Thanks to his father, Adrien had some top notch lawyers, and the pre-nup agreement is watertight.

Unrelated to all this, behold Paris’s new mayor, Chloé Burgeois. She’s been embroiled in controversy from day one. Some say she’s too young. Others say she only got the job because her father was mayor before her. Yet others point to her publicly difficult relation with her constant partner and off-again-on-again girlfriend Sabrina. But perhaps the biggest talking point is that in her office, she has a big painting of a certain heroine in red with spots, with the words, „what would Ladybug do?“ underneath. She’s never lost trust, and the press hates her for it.

One day, her old school friend Alya visits. Alya’s own relationship to Ladybug is difficult: Part of her still holds out hope, just like Chat Noir. Another part of her curses Ladybug for just leaving. Her goal now is completely unrelated to Ladybug, though. She has uncovered new things about the Napoleon Resurrection Conspiracy: The main witness (Lila) and the supposed ring-leader: Marinette. That can’t be right.

She wants Chloé to reveal the truth. Chloé herself has no idea, and very little interest in investigating. Her father told her that this was all secret, and that she should never touch this subject.

But she knows very well what Alya is asking for here. Alya got her big break as a journalist by uncovering the files on the Napoleon Resurrection Conspiracy in the first place. The revelation that it had all been swept under the rug was what caused the old Mayor to step down in the first place. If Alya is now saying that this might all be wrong, that means she’s placing her whole career on the line. That level of commitment means something.

For her own part, it took Chloé a while to admit it, but she was shocked and heartbroken by Marinette’s sudden disappearance as well. It was the first step to becoming a somewhat nicer person, and forming real bonds with her classmates. She has the access to the archives. She could uncover the truth, and maybe even find out where Marinette is now. It wouldn’t be popular, and it might be dangerous… but what would Ladybug do?

Chloé is all in, and it doesn’t take long until she meets Lila. Chloé would not consider herself a fan. She knows the difference between Adrien’s real and fake smiles. Lila refuses to clear things up, though. Instead, she tells Chloé that the french secret service does not allow her to say anything, and that Chloé better drop it if she knows what’s good for her.

Chloé ignores it. She also ignores it when she gets a threatening letter. After all, Ladybug was up against powerful people, too, and she never let that stop her. She even ignores when her own personal Yacht sinks for unexplained reasons, until her Butler and Sabrina explain to her some things about the history of the french secret service (actually I’m not sure whether this is too much in bad taste; the alternative would be that her vacation home gets set on fire).

She tells Alya that there is nothing to know, and blocks her cell phone number. The next day, workers remove the Ladybug painting. After all, what Ladybug would do is just disappear, right? Only fitting. Sabrina laughs a little too artificially at the joke. Yes, indeed. Ladybug would just stop doing her job when the people needed her. Perfect analogy.

With that, the basic outline is set. Chapter three would probably be short and tell the story of Marinette’s imprisonment. Chapter four is then where the real revenge starts.

Other points:

At various points, Luka is sadly strumming his guitar.

I’m not sure what to do about Marinette’s parents. The mean option is that they die, full of grief over their missing daughter. The very mean option is that they end up separating first. I’m not sure Marinette’s revenge spree works if they’re still around, and I definitely don’t ever see them turning away from her.

Nino and Kagami could do with an arc here.

Anyway, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, but since I don’t know how to turn this into a full story, this is as good as it gets. If any of you guys want to borrow parts or all of it for your stories, please go ahead.

#miraculous ladybug #story idea #lila rossis lies get exposed eventually #mlb story ideas

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hoidn · 3 years

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master post of disturbingly accurate miscellany.

sagittarius moons constantly put on a cheerful facade to cover their sadness. this often leads to internal bitterness and frustration which gets translated into violent urges and a certain amount of hostility towards others. they may often try to hide it and to keep being in-your-face happy but one can definitely feel an aura of suppressed anger around them. like a feeling of hair-triggered temperament lurking beneath the surface. [source]

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venus in the 4th house: you feel like home. living in a comfortable, safe and beautiful house is very important to you, just like establishing a family. your relationship with your family, friends and significant other is of utmost importance to you and you feel the need to create a loving atmosphere for them. although being nurturing is an amazing quality, your attachment to your partner can be so overwhelming that it can lead to break-ups. you’re terrified of stressful situations, scandals and chaos, and you absolutely need to focus on being in a peaceful environment and one where you can pursue your happiness. very nostalgic and overprotective of loved ones. you need your partner to constantly reassure you of their love to you or you’ll go crazy with feelings of jealousy and insecurity. you love helping others, and you inspire love and trust in those around you. [source]

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saturn in the 5th: (I fear)…I’ll never feel true happiness. That I’ll always be holding myself back. That I’ll never achieve my true potential, that my light will always feel dimmed. That happiness will be taken away from me at any moment. That my anxieties will always be eating away at me, even when I’m surrounded by the ones I love. That my inner child will always feel neglected, and that, because of that, my creativity feels blocked. [source]

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the most noticeable difference between the negative (earth and water) and the positive (air and fire) venus signs for me is that the first really see love as a state of total reception, they connect it more to a passive state in which you can fully grasp and empathize with the other. and the second see love more as a pull towards the object of desire, an inspiration for movement. it’s like earth & water venus is the being towards which the fire & air venus gravitate. [source]

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i’m yet to meet a cancer venus that really enjoys cooking. i know a lot of people with this placement and they all really appreciate it when someone cooks for them and often comment on people’s cooking and know the best places where to eat…also they’re often on some type of special diet, be it out of their own will or due to health issues. but i’ve never see one that loves to cook. [source]

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So what is Virgo Vision? It’s a penetrating style of seeing the world, people and situations. People with V.V. will auto-scan for nuance and connections that are missed by most people. And then they cram the data into a complex details matrix that assesses it at Warp Speed.

Within microseconds, the Virgo or Virgo Rising formulates a multi-level analysis. They’re witty, informed and lauded for their ability to wisely parse complex circumstances. They streamline convoluted thought and design processes. They save people and organizations significant time and money via their V.V.

[...]

It’s an asset but also a liability. How could something so clearly a mercurial super-power be in any way the latter? Well, they can’t turn it off. Ever.

People with V.V. don’t have the comfort of overlooking something, to ease their passage through a stressful work week. Their mind is perpetually analyzing and making pertinent connections; if they are in an environment where people don’t care about those connections, the Virgo Vision doesn’t power down and go into ‘rest mode.’ It up-regulates into even faster operation.

If the person with V.V. can’t share or be understood, they gaze inward, running over every error, wrong step, miscalculation and poorly worded comment ever.

Details and data swarm their consciousness. They either freeze or default into a Saint Virgo stance. Without an appropriate outlet, the Virgo Rising or Virgo Sun person makes themselves the project. Every glance in the mirror is a call for a fix. Each meal a breakdown of the macros. They don’t view the scenery; they map it.

These people can lose the plot and replace it with a list of continuity errors and anachronisms. They’re well beyond that old cliche about not seeing “the forest for the trees.” People with Virgo Vision know the topography, soil components, leaf blight, mythology associated with that style of tree and the article they read on forestry four years ago. [source]

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Mercury Retrograde

When Mercury is retrograde at birth, the thinking processes are generally more acute, and the sense of humor rather quirky. People with Mercury retrograde take in information differently than those with Mercury direct in their natal charts. How many people are born with a retrograde Mercury? Roughly 18%.

Some people with this position struggle with doubts about their perceptions or their ability to learn, and there can be a lot of thinking, double-checking, and reviewing of thoughts and ideas before communicating them.

Neptune Retrograde

Those born with Neptune retrograde in their chart might tend to hide their vulnerabilities, their spiritual side, or their compassion, as they feel somewhat uncomfortable expressing them. These things can very well exist, and they run deep, but Neptune retrograde natives prefer to keep these things private. Deep faith can be missing, so that these people might be naturally mistrustful. When they are left to fill in the blanks, they might expect the worst. There can be a big fear of dreaming too big dreams, as they are afraid of being let down. [source]

. . . . .

Mercury is the planet of communication and how you express yourself and learn, and so those of you born with Mercury retrograde tend to feel very misunderstood. The energy of Mercury retrograde in the natal chart is actually very similar to that of Mercury in the 12th house (and how misunderstood you must be if you have natal Mercury retrograde in your 12th house!). You have difficulty communicating clearly with others, with being heard, with understanding others as well, and with using your mental energy properly.

[...]

There’s a tremendous amount of mental energy and power that can be unlocked with Mercury retrograde in the natal chart. It just usually takes a while to let go of the fear, isolation, or insecurity that accompanies this position. The insecurity can really kill the Mercury retrograde native. You need to work on developing confidence in your mental abilities, your ideas, your opinions, your words. Growing up feeling misunderstood no doubt caused that insecurity, but it’s a skin you must shed in adulthood, or you get stuck in that insecurity forever. You can be a quiet person, one who stumbles over their words publicly, or who is unfailingly truthful. You can have a wicked sense of humor because you interpret what you see in the world differently and point out the things that are so ridiculously absurd.

[...]

When transit (moving) Mercury is retrograde, this is when you thrive. The rest of us are completely hopeless, and you’re speeding along. This is because the retrograde energy is natural to you, so when Mercury is in his normal forward motion, you’re uncomfortable, but when he’s retrograde, you’re at home. This is a time when you can make great progress and really get your point across. You should make the most of the times when Mercury is retrograde. You can also work on better understanding the proper ways for you to communicate, express yourself, and learn during Mercury retrograde, so pay close attention to that. [source]

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However, when Mercury is in retrograde, this planet is way more introspective, thoughtful, and skeptical than usual. When moving direct, Mercury is fast-paced and eager to connect the dots, and while it might make you seem like a slow thinker when you have Mercury retrograde in your birth chart, it's only because you're doing a lot more thinking than anyone else would even think to do.

The truth is, being born during Mercury retrograde gives you an advantage when it comes to contemplative and all-encompassing thinking. You see every angle of an idea because you naturally have a tendency to look backwards and sideways, which is something Mercury is not naturally aiming to do. You have a tendency to review your choices and re-do things over and over again until you get it right. [source]

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With North Node in Libra, our South Node is in Aries. With North Node in the seventh house, our South Node is in the first house.

A tendency to rely on the self so much as to alienate important others in our lives, to be excessively competitive to the point of a me-first attitude, to take things personally, and to be impatient, rash, and impulsive at the expense of personal happiness are some of the issues this position suggests. With this position, we need to work on sensitizing ourselves to the needs of others, to learn tact and cooperation, to put ourselves in another’s shoes, and to let go of an overwhelming self-consciousness that is blocking our desire to win. We are often afraid of the demands that a partner might put on us, and we don’t naturally look for feedback, preferring to act on the moment—on our own hunches and impulses. But for however hard we push ourselves, our plans will be blocked until we stop to consider the other side. We tend to go it alone, often passing up opportunities for growth because we are too focused on our own personal survival. Our impulses and instincts are overloaded, lacking in perspective, and acting upon them will often bring us strife—that is, until we learn to look at the other side, perhaps through the eyes of another. Through partnership, and through cooperation with others, we will attain the inner balance necessary for us to achieve our goals. [source]

#tree is a virgo #having a sag moon and venus in cancer is the worst let me tell you #SPEAKING OF MY SAGITTARIUS MOON

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evakuality · 4 years

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Let’s talk about David - again

This is part something-I’ve-lost-track-of of the posts I make whenever I get a fit of David adoration and decide to talk about his characterisation. While I’m still not finished my David and Even comparison, and that’s the last time I really discussed him in any great detail, I’m actually really interested in what happens with his characterisation after s3 finishes. So I’ll come back to that one and look now at what happens after the curtain falls there.

I feel like s3 has been analysed to death, and I will be discussing the end of it when I finish that David and Even thingie, and so I’m not going to go into it in huge detail, but I do want to mention the important ways in which David had developed by the end in order to discuss the rest of this effectively. By episode 10, David is in a much happier place. Gone is the closed off, shut down boy we met in episode one. In his place is someone who can love and be loved publicly and happily (both at the apartment with Matteo and the boys and in the final scenes of the prank), someone who can show his more outgoing side, who enjoys dancing and teasing, who is friendly with pretty much everyone in the group. He still has his more vulnerable side, when he is alone with Matteo and/or his sister and when things are difficult for him. We see this in the moment when he’s discussing his future plans with Matteo, when he finds out he has to meet the teacher, when he’s on his way to the teacher etc. This vulnerability isn’t something he’s lost totally; he’s stopped being quite so closed off when he feels uncomfortable, but it’s still not easy for him. Even with that said, it’s fairly clear that he’s in a much better place by the end of the season. It’s really lovely to see, actually, what he’s really like when he feels comfortable and at ease in a situation.

It was hard to find good pictures of it, but he goes from this at the start, wary, still aloof etc:

To this by the end of s3, open, genuinely happy, able to be more himself:

Then of course we have the Abiball episode, when he is again more comfortable and at home with this group of people. Obviously we see how his dynamic with Matteo has changed. If we compare this one, where he’s actively deploying a certain tactic to get Matteo to do what he wants, with the teasing from the Sunday of episode 10 we can trace the evolution of the way they are. By episode 10 they’re in a space where they can laugh and tease and lovingly coerce each other to do things. In that case, though, David is still mostly directing this stuff at himself; Matteo is the one who is mostly teasing David though it is certainly reciprocal in places (eg ‘not so shitty’). By the Abiball episode, David has started to realise this is what he can do to motivate Matteo - his look before he says the whole ‘I always wanted to be the older, wiser person in a relationship’ speech is so considering that it’s possible it’s the first time he does it, or at least it’s early days. There’s a bit of ‘hmmm okay my appeal in a genuine way didn’t work, what else can I do?’ I couldn’t get a good screenshot of it, but it’s this part here as he works to figure out what he can do to make this work:

Then there’s the way he acts when he realises it did have the desired effect: a small smile of satisfaction and then this moment where he schools his face again:

This combined with the way he also takes very good care to balance it with the whole ‘I’m excited about us’ parts as well, show that he’s still developing his comfort levels and figuring out how far he can push Matteo with his teasing/’encouragement’ (the answer is ‘very far’ but I don’t think he knows that yet, which is fine - relationships don’t happen overnight; they take time to figure out). He’s genuine here, of course, but there are some interesting undertones in terms of how he’s feeling his way through the relationship. That’s at least in part due to him still processing what has happened; no matter how amazing his relationship and how supportive his new friends, he has still gone through a huge amount in a short time.

Of course, we then see him in various moments with the others where he is slotted together with them and much more part of the team. Waiting for their various partners to do the oral exams, getting results etc - he’s part of the group and we can see that he has integrated quite effectively. Kiki snatches his snacks as if he’s just one of the guys, he’s concerned enough about Jonas and Hanna to be the one to ask how he is etc etc. They all sit together, he’s centered here, and they’re all mirroring each other (except Kiki but then she has her own extra worries here). He’s part of this crowd in a very natural way even when Matteo isn’t there.

That plays out even more in the actual dance scenes as he works with Matteo to try to freeze down Stefan who appears to be condescending to Jonas, and so they both step in to try to ‘save’ Jonas from the situation. Look at this teamwork in support of their friend, where he’s the one who slips in to ‘be there’ for Jonas while Matteo takes on Stefan:

The interesting thing here is that while he has fun and is at ease enough to play and fool around, that he does mostly stick to the people who he is most comfortable with: Matteo, Jonas, Leonie etc. Most of the content from both the clip and the instagram stuff (from memory - I don’t have time to trawl through it all again and I probably did miss some even at the time because there was a lot) he seems a) to stick with Matteo a lot (understandable; this is after all still a very new relationship and that’s just what people do) and b) with the other people who either have been closer friends for longer and/or the ones who he has more connection to via Matteo. He makes the rounds of course, as they all do, but there is a core of people who he seems more comfortable with and gravitates to more. The thing is, while he’s a lot freer and more outgoing now than he has been, he hasn’t lost some of those defensive measures that have been with him for so long. It’s worth noting that, while we do tend to focus on Matteo’s reaction to being crowned Abiball couple or whatever it is, we don’t tend to watch David's initial reaction:

He can’t believe he’s in that position, presumably because he’s had a lot of experience of being ostracized and treated badly and while he knows it’s not like that here, it’s still a shock to find out he’s genuinely included in this way. This isn’t something he’s expecting. Matteo is 100% convinced it’s David's fault for being so cool and amazing that everyone loves him, but it’s fairly obvious that David himself still doesn’t see himself this way.

The really interesting thing about all this is the way David changes after the road trip. But this has got so long that I’m going to split it and do all the ‘actual’ s4 stuff in another post. But the thing to remember (again because I’m too lazy to trawl through the whole trip again, this is all from memory), is that he spends weeks on end with his very new boyfriend when they barely had a plan and/or the resources they needed to go on that trip. That sort of thing is going to either make or break a relationship and in this case it obviously made it; they are so obviously stronger and more resilient together once they get back than they were before they left. Of course they were already in a very good place, but the thing is that you can’t spend that much time with someone and not speed up any development of the relationship and learn a lot about oneself and one’s own resilience. So it makes a lot of sense to me that the David we see in s4 is a lot more at ease even than the one we saw in episode 10 and the Abiball episode. But that’s for the next post to deal with.

Onwards to it now

#druck #david schreibner #my meta stuff

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trance-griff · 3 years

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Kyoka Jiro x Kaminari Denki Part One

Pairing: Denki x Jiro

Summary: Jiro now in her 3rd year, close to graduating learns about her feelings towards Denki however reacts passive-aggressively and struggles to open up.

Genre: Fluff, AU (They don’t have quirks and are normal students in Yuuei.)

Warnings: None, just fluff.

Word count (pt.1): 1202.

Notes: - This will be divided into parts otherwise it’s going to be too long to read. Hehe. Hagakure will appear v i s i b l e.

Forgive me if my writing isn’t perfect, it’s purely for fun.

Part Two

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Graduation was just around the corner, everyone hyped and making plans, the classroom filled with chittering noises of students formed into separate groups making plans of what they should do just before graduation and making all sorts of memories.

However, the student on the 12th seat minded her own business, the surrounding tables empty as she stared at her blank note, a grey mechanical pencil twirling over her thumb and index, the other hand supporting her jaw over the desk, as she stared at the lined pages, mind far elsewhere.

Her consciousness was preoccupied with thoughts that weren’t like her, it was self-realization and she spent most of her time thinking rather than talking about it, making up fragmented thoughts to rid of the heaviness in her chest and to avoid a certain someone who was just as loud as the explosive temperamental class bully.

Images of him flashed in her head. Their simple interactions flashing to her mind too. His happy-go-lucky attitude brimming everywhere he went. He was the class clown, the dumbest person she’s ever encountered, especially when his mind would go putty after a simple math equation, she always enjoyed poking at him and reminding him how stupid he would get causing the male to fluster and snap at her. Her mind wandered elsewhere, if there was such a thing as a parallel dimension would their roles and relationship be any different? Or would it be the same? One thing she knew for sure, if they were people with superpowers, his would be something akin to shocking his brain and others to putty. She chuckled to herself, clearly picturing that strike of charged energy harming his poor brain and maybe killing a few brain cells in the process. Part of her wished in one dimension they would be together as a happy couple, displaying their undying -cringe-worthy- love publicly but here she was, the harsh reality of her not sincerely approaching the man she slowly and subconsciously fell for.

Denki Kaminari. His social circle included his best buddies; Eijiro Kirishima, Hanta Sero, Mina Ashido, and Katsuki Bakugo She didn’t know when it happened, maybe these feeling occurred to her at the end of the first year of high school, especially after her singing competition; he was the reason why she had signed up for it in the first place despite being hesitant and insecure.

‘You can do it! Make the class proud!’

‘A-Alright I get it! Get off my back now!’

It started as a small burning fire easy to extinguish with a bit of wind and she hoped that was the case but now it was their last year and the fire remained strong, she could hear it crackle and lick at her chest when she was in proximity with Kaminari causing her to act passive-aggressive towards him and remain stubborn, keeping her emotions all bottled up and daydreaming her feelings away, hoping it would satisfy the fire in her; it helped, somewhat.

She wanted to believe that, at least.

Kyoka Jiro; the victim to fall for the biggest dork stared at the group who were busy making plans; occupying the teacher’s desk with Denki seated on the table and Mineta excitedly explaining how a beach trip would be thrilling, easily catching Denki’s interest. “Beach trips. Cute girls. B-Bikinis! What more could you ask for?!” Mineta’s fiery passion was heard throughout the class, earning a few stares and glares, definitely a shout from the class president, Tenya Iida. Denki stepped in to cover Mineta’s mouth. “Shush you idiot! Don’t you have any pride?!” But the only given response was angry muffled noises. “He’s right, it’s not manly at all to just stare at girls at the beach. We need to prove that through a challenge, a challenge!” Kirishima was always pumped up for everything and Sero only piped in with a ‘yep!’

“Shut up Shitty hair! Manly my ass!”

Jiro shook her head; how did this happen again? Did her standards drop? Was she desperate? The whole group was full of dumbasses. She groaned and rubbed her forehead. “Perverts…”

“How about karaoke?!” Mina Ashido who completely ignored everyone else jumped in. “Whoever sings best, wins!” The scenario was all too familiar, especially to Jiro who only hid her face behind her notebook. “Huh? We all know Jiro sings best…” Sero butted in, rubbing the back of his head as Kirishima agreed. After all, she was the main star during the competition. Who knew Jiro had such an angelic voice despite her punk rock demeanor? “So, then we have Jiro join us! Right, Jiro?!” The groups’ attention diverted to Jiro when Denki called out to her, causing her to jump in her seat. “H-Huh?! Why would I do that? More like- Don’t just involve me in your plans so suddenly!” And there it was, her passive-aggressive attitude towards Denki which was returned in confusion, the redness that overtook her face was hard to mask. He wanted to speak up, help motivate her and assure she had no reason to feel insecure after all her blushing face wasn’t foreign to him but, he decided to hold back.

Something has been off about her and he couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

“Maybe the Arcade would be better?” Sero casually changed the subject, shrugging off Mina’s prior suggestion as she reacted by drooping her shoulders, nonetheless, she was down for whatever, it caught most of the group’s attention, even Bakugo who wasn’t paying attention now peeked in.

“Hold on.” A voice, this time the vice president’s; Momo Yaoyorozu stepped into the group’s plan. “The karaoke is a must; I suggest we do all three activities.” In reality, Momo just wanted to do what the commoners did, she’s never been to an ordinary karaoke before so perhaps she could go to one before graduating and missing the chance.

“My family owns a private beach; we can go there?” Now, who were they to refuse such a proposal?

“Who’s she to decide our plan?” Denki interjected with a whisper too afraid to directly confront the vice president, but for Mineta? It was perfect. “This is a good opportunity, don’t you see?!” Mineta’s lowly plans filled the other’s ears, causing him to approve with a satisfactory nod, whenever Denki and Mineta teamed up it never meant well, devious thoughts and plans went through their heads and the class would always witness them fail. Jiro just wanted to smack the two, her eye twitching as she glanced at Denki who seemed to have caught her stare across the room, him being intimidated by her vicious look and attempting to shut Mineta up while she glanced away with a roll of her eye.

‘Man, she’s vicious when it comes to her friends.’ Were Kaminari’s exact thoughts, but he didn’t particularly mind, maybe a part of him liked that about her, his lips formed into a lopsided smile, softening up to her expressions.

“So, it’s settled?” As they planned, somehow it became more of a class trip than just a group of seven, everyone was part of the plan, each pitching in with their ideas and different agendas, even Jiro who just wanted to mind her own business was involved because Momo was in, and she didn’t want any pervert to approach her best friend.

“It’s settled! What about you Jiro?” Uraraka questioned in excitement but Jiro only waved her hand dismissively, radiating nonchalance when really, she was burning up on the inside, anxiousness hitting her deep. “I guess it’ll be fun…”

#bnha #mha #fanfic #denki #kyoka x denki #fluff #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #jiro #jirou kyouka #kaminari denki

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bbq-hawks-wings · 4 years

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BBQ gripes about fanon Hawks

Not even gonna put this in the character tags aside from the spoiler one I use just for the anime-onlies on my blog. I'm salty. I just wanna vent. I want to keep the general character tags fun because it was awful when I went looking for new content and found so much Not Fun material a while back; and I don’t want to become what I hate. Basic point - my blog, my vent, and unless it’s reblogged (which you are welcome to if you like) this post dies here.

Please know this isn't a callout post or me claiming that others are being fans of Hawks "wrong" because they disagree with me. I am a huge proponent that (with very few exceptions) fiction and fandom should be free to be enjoyed, reinterpreted, or otherwise indulged in however the individual fan prefers; and if I don't like it, I let them have their space and go do my thing elsewhere and leave them alone (hence why this not going in character tags). I just have been annoyed with the rampant mangling of Hawks' canon personality/characterization - that is, confusing common fanon interpretations of him with how he’s actually written/portrayed and then getting angry (like, actually-angry-spilling-into-publicly-dragging-real-people, not just disappointed) when he acts like canon Hawks in canon. Non-canon is open season and by and large has my blessing, it’s just frustrating when it gets dragged into discussions about the manga.

This has been going on a long time, but I just want to get it out of my system in my personal space. All this is, is my "Overthinking Tumblr blogger Shakes Fist at Cloud" moment.

#1 Hawks is a sociopath/unempathetic.

I just... I... You can't be reading the same manga I am if you genuinely come to this conclusion about who he is in canon. A man with nothing to gain by looking like this when considering the depths of the suffering inflicted on others that he bears some amount of responsibility in...

...cannot be called unempathetic.

"But he killed Twice and Best Jeanist!"

Twofold counterargument to this one, starting with BJ - we don't actually know he's dead. There's a body, there's a disappearance, and we have no idea wtf happened, but we also don't know wtf happened. It's drastically ooc for Hawks to murder someone in cold blood. For someone who places emphasis on speed specifically "because when two sides keep fighting and won’t give up, someone eventually has to die" it makes no sense for him to not have had a plan and simply ambush a man in his own home - this goes doubly since he was in contact with the HSPC and had time to "premeditate" anyway.

And as for Twice: Hawks ran out of options. He wanted to detain Twice and keep him from escaping and helping the MLA. He was able to do so when alone, but the moment Dabi cornered him Hawks had a choice to make - probably die in the fight and let Jin go or make absolute certain he can’t and still probably end up dying because he's in bad shape and still probably won't make it out of this, regardless. I don't need to harp on this - it's been said a couple different times now by several people. Even in 266 when Dabi initially ambushes Hawks, Hawks thinks to himself that he’ll carry Jin out of the building to keep himself and Jin safe before Twice retaliated and Dabi literally forces Hawks into a corner.

Jin's loss was a blow, but the chips on the table being wagered are human lives, not feelings. Up until that point, Hawks did everything he could despite the weight of his decision. Human life is human life, and Jin’s life isn’t more important than the may more who will be saved by quashing the MLA’s revolution. Simply equating “could kill someone” with “unempathetic” is fundamentally flawed, and mistaking someone who is pushed to kill despite every attempt to avoid it as unempathetic and even sociopathic has missed the point to the extreme - the mere fact he avoided lethal force for so long alone proves he possesses empathy.

#2 Hawks is a compulsive liar.

He is a good liar, but he does not like lying. He does twist the truth, but always when forced to keep a secret. Even then, his lies are predominantly spun from truth and omitted details instead of outright fabrications. He doesn’t gaslight, and he doesn’t make up stories/details if he can help it.

When Hawks told Endeavor his dreams for the future, that was the truth. When he told him he thought he was cool at the hero billboards, that was the truth. When he tells Tokoyami to focus on his strengths instead of merely covering his weaknesses to be a better hero, that was the truth. When Tokoyami asks Hawks for his weakness and even why he took him on as an intern in the beginning just to ignore him, he tells him the truth. When he tells Jin he "doesn't belong in a cage" and that he considers him a good person, that was the truth. When he recognizes he’s profoundly wounded Jin for deceiving him for months, he tells Jin the truth. When confronted by Dabi and he doesn’t need to lie anymore in this fight to the death, he tells him the truth despite not actually needing to in hopes to learn the truth behind Dabi and Shigaraki.

I don't have a better segue, so I'll just mention that a lot of folks who believe this also believe the next point.

#3 Hawks is unapologetically emotionally manipulative.

The context makes a huge difference and we need to look at when and why he manipulates others as well as the fact that he does.

At the hero billboards, Hawks plays the heroes on stage as well as the crowd. He's trying to shift the mindset of, "oh yeah, just another hero ranking" to "wake up, mf's, things are changing and you better be ready to change, too!" Rocking the boat is a huge no-no in Japan. Despite being part of his “persona” there is still real social risk involved with this move but one that he deems necessary to turn heads and get gears turning. This is not just an elaborate ploy to get under Endeavor’s skin, but an effort to reach a wider audience while he has them captive.

He does use the public crowd around him and Endeavor before the Hood fight as an excuse for its appearance, but the original intent was to mentally prepare Endeavor for what was potentially (and proved to be) the fight of his life without outright telling him so he could maintain his undercover status. When he realizes he’s part of the reason for Endeavor’s permanent scar and life-threatening injuries, he feels remorse.

He lies to Jin to get information out of him, but linking back to #2, when calls Jin a good person and offers him a way out, he’s telling the truth. He does feel guilt for having to manipulate an otherwise well-meaning person and betraying them, especially given his long-running history of being used and the ongoing issues he suffers from because of it.

When he meets up again with Endeavor to drop his clues about the League’s movements, he squirms when he realizes the interns don’t know him well enough to know he’s blowing smoke because he does NOT want these kids to actually buy what he’s selling. This espionage mission is hard to navigate, and he has to tread carefully lest he setup the dominoes in the wrong places.

This is all to make the point that Hawks is more than capable of emotionally manipulating people, but it’s not in his nature or something he does to any and every person he comes across just because. We haven’t had much opportunity to see him operate outside of the HSPC’s orders which is where the bulk of the instances of his manipulation comes from - those orders requiring him to operate covertly and thus, by nature, necessitate lying, manipulation, and strategically withholding information.

If anything, when he’s making an appeal to someone else as his own person - not as a hero on a mission- we actually see a level of vulnerability and transparency we don’t otherwise catch.

Though it’s technically canon-adjacent and not necessarily canon in and of itself, in My Hero Academia: Team Up Mission where he works with Bakugo and Midoriya he operates on a level of transparency with them we’re not used to seeing; and my theory is he took it as an opportunity to operate without ulterior motives and build report instead of bucking back against “training up the next generation of heroes” like he initially did with Tokoyami.

Which now actually segues better into the next point.

#4 Hawks never lets people get close to him.

There’s a surprising amount of evidence that Hawks wants the ability to be an open book. Back at Team Up Mission, the restaurant staff note he regularly takes people he likes to their establishment - so we’re basically told outright this is a special place to him reserved for enjoying himself and only people he likes get to share it with him - so we already know what that says about how he sees those two despite their sparse interactions. We already know he’s taken Endeavor there when Endeavor made no move to input as to where he wanted to have the lunch meeting.

Though he kept Tokoyami at arm’s length initially, we have at least three canon instances of him sharing personal interactions with him with other canon-adjacent indications he cares for and values his intern. We’ve readily established that while Endeavor may not consider himself close to Hawks, Hawks does hold Endeavor as near and dear to his heart. While his only mission regarding Twice was to get information out of him, he still made a genuine effort to help and save him because he wanted to and considered him a friend despite the circumstances.

We still don’t know very much of Hawk’s past, his personal relationships outside of work, etc.; but despite the HPSC’s extensive efforts to strip him of his identity he not only possesses a faceted, complicated personality but seems to want to share that with others readily when and in the ways he’s able. Getting into the truly squishy, vulnerable parts of him may take a while, but on a scale of closed to open, he seems to lean towards open.

#5 Hawks is hopelessly in love with Dabi and will abandon everything up to this point for him.

This isn't to throw general DabiHawks shippers under the bus. Most of them know VERY well at this point that canon has sunk that ship, and they're just having fun with it at this point - and you know what, power to you! They look great together! In another life, the character chemistry could have been incredible. There’s a lot of great DabiHawks shipping content I thoroughly enjoy despite not shipping it myself.

It just isn't canon. It never was and never came close. Even now, with the Endeavor reveal being very much imminent, Hawks' view of Dabi is one of a lying, malicious, callous, murderer. Though he’ll likely be crushed at the revelation of what Endeavor’s done, that doesn’t equate to him defecting (especially not immediately) and falling into Dabi’s arms.

And Dabi hates Hawks just as much.

Again, this is not anything against the ship or the shippers - just an annoyance I have with some who were so wrapped up in the ship they were genuinely mad when the ship sank and they dragged that frustration out into the real world against real people when canon didn’t align with fanon.

Ships are some of the most stupid things to rail against creators and fans over, and the amount of harassment they receive now over shipping has me ripping my hair out when I know it’s a mere fraction of the total pool of shippers who are frothing at the mouth while the rest are super cool and happy doing their own thing and keeping to themselves.

Ship what you want, regardless of “validating evidence” and have fun. Don’t make it others’ problem when it isn’t canonically validated.

#6 Hawks is a dirty cop.

Only half upset with this one because it comes down to the nuance and lack of precise definition of this phrase I have a problem with. Lots of people hate cops for very real, legitimate reasons. Police forces - being a voluntary, government-employed force enforcing government rule - are notoriously prone to corruption of every kind.

It's implied the HPSC is itself corrupt, though to what extent we don't know. (Granted, buying a young child from his family to raise as your personal puppet is pretty high up there.) By continuing to follow orders from the HPSC and not vehemently fighting back, many see him as reinforcing a corrupt institution and at least partially liable for their continued hold on society.

Fair enough, but... The issue I have with this is it reduces Hawks to his job.

I believe a huge chunk of this take comes from my experience as an armed service member spouse, but it's easy for me to empathize with a guy

Who was promised the moon for himself and his family in exchange for his service not realizing what was actually being asked of him

Is praised outside the organization for "being a hero" and "upholding this country's core values" while first-hand witnessing the corruption of it when inside

Is viewed as a cog valuable only in services rendered instead of being treated like a human by said organization and worked into the ground because of it

Is frustrated by the insistence to keep the status quo instead of improving procedure/infrastructure/environment because egos need to be padded over real, human problems being solved

Has his autonomy or otherwise ability to operate under his own judgement restricted in favor of maintaining organizational control at the cost of effective action

Has DEPENDENTS who rely on his continued work to provide for them and is thus unable to refuse an order, even when it's morally reprehensible and even outright illegal

Whose cries, both those calculated and desperate, to the organization (who have placed themselves as the sole resource he can turn to) for help (even for his own body/mind) fall on deaf ears until he breaks to the point of becoming unusable or dangerous - and even then minimal effort/responsibility is taken in favor of keeping him functioning in the organization as long as possible.

Hawks fights back against the HPSC constantly. He raised concerns over letting civilians suffer to get him in with the League of Villains and then still defied orders by reducing casualties to zero. Despite orders to keep his mission top secret, he's informed Endeavor of his motives/movements independently from the rest of the heroes. He had long refused to take an intern (read: fresh meat for the machine) to train until this year, and even then sought to minimize his encouragement of Tokoyami for as long as possible until he realized Tokoyami was made of the real mettle people needed in a hero and not just another youngster endangering himself on a pipe dream.

He even takes initiative to keep his personal to-do list from the HPSC to a minimum by squashing problems before they come knocking asking him to fix it for them. He knew of the League of Villains and anticipated the escalation of their movements immediately after the USJ incident as well as has a network of informants and connections with local police forces to stay in the know.

His methods for apprehension of criminals are, and continue to be, to react and detain them so quickly they can't retaliate or endanger others in the struggle, thus minimizing human loss and injury despite the insinuation the HPSC has told him that gloves are off in the current situation.

He might be "a cop" depending on the definition we go with, but he isn't a dirty cop. He doesn't plant evidence. He doesn't shoot first and ask questions later. He doesn't blindly take orders. He largely doesn't see "villains" as dirt under his shoe but as people pushed to extremes. He's a morally convicted individual trying to rebel within the system instead of tearing it down outright. He may be wrong in the assumption, but he genuinely believes he can do more on the inside of the system than outside.

#7 Hawks is a manwhore.

Ok, this one is not serious and actually just to end this all on a lighter note after ranting until I'm blue in the face.

I'm 100% guilty of this myself. Something about that chicken makes me and many others salivate - either for themselves or to watch him with someone else. We love dressing him up slutty, portray him as flirting unashamedly, and placing him in as many overtly sexual scenarios possible.

The best part about all of it, though, is that it’s almost the exact opposite of how he dresses/conducts himself in canon. His clothes are loose fitting and high-coverage. He’s personable, but never gives any indication he’s romantically/sexually involved or interested in anyone. The asscourse is real only because we cannot confirm either way due to his baggy clothes. His overall figure/body shape has been hinted at, but only recently confirmed; and his jacket had to be literally be burned off to get a good look at the pattern of his shirt under it!

~~~~~~~

And with that, I release the frustration and move on.

Enjoy fanon as much as you like - even I do! Just be aware of where canon and fanon diverge, and definitely don’t take the difference out on real people. Please also be aware of how others hold their favorite characters dear before flooding the general tags with negativity and creating a hostile environment for them. People latch onto their “comfort characters” for a plethora of reasons, and when they lose that character to the plot, the fandom, or otherwise, they should still be allowed to grieve and celebrate what they had in a safe environment.

Retaliation in response to others coming against your favorite is also not acceptable behavior. It sucks, but the most mature thing to do is step away from the general fandom, stick to blogs/spaces you know are safe, and let the storm blow over. Comfort characters do not justify mistreating real people no matter how much they may mean to you.

When “canon gets it wrong” is where fanfiction and pockets of the fandom community comes into play. Leave those people alone and let them be. For those who aligned themselves with canon, they are not free game to take personal frustrations out on. Leave those people alone and let them be. Unfollow the people/tags you need to for your own sake and others’, and the fandom will be a better place all around over time. Venting belongs in controlled spaces away from the rest of the fandom and with enough warning for those who not only don’t want to endure it but who for their own safety shouldn’t.

Fandom is a community, and healthy communities do not endorse members lashing out when they don’t get their way.

#spoiler!hawks #let's talk hawks

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giftofshewbread · 3 years

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CRITICAL MESSAGE *READ*

Does God Ever Let You Down? :: By Steve Schmutzer

Published on: February 26, 2021

Does God ever let you down?

Wait. Before you answer, I’m not interested in cliché replies. You know, “In all things, God works for the good of those who love Him,” or, “God’s plans are to give me a hope and a future.” I don’t want to hear that old standby, “He knows what’s best for me.”

Those responses ARE Biblically-based, and so they’re true when they’re properly applied with the right heart to the right situation. But in my experience, too many people say this kind of stuff when their faith has reached its limits. They are barely able to endure their pain, describe their confusion, or contain their rage.

Just because we can force certain words out of our mouth does not mean we are saying what we are truly feeling. Just because we can’t admit what’s really going on does not mean it isn’t.

Let’s be totally honest here – have you ever been mad at God? Did you ever bargain with Him in your heart and now you’re upset He didn’t keep up His end of the arrangement? Are you still “fighting the good fight,” but you’re exhausted and despaired? Did you take the high road – but you got the raw end of the deal?

Now – let’s get down to the brass tacks: Did you pour yourself into the task of raising your children the right way only to have them disappoint you with their choices?

Are you laboring long and quietly in a ministry while others with less gifting, less commitment, and less maturity are getting the reward and recognition?

Have you prayed and tried for years for a baby and one still hasn’t come? Meantime, irresponsible parents are popping out feral kids like rabbits?

Did you carefully plan for a simple and responsible retirement – only to see it all evaporate in the wake of unexpected health problems and medical bills?

Have you prayed around the clock for justice and truth to prevail, but all you see is the flourishing of evil and deceit?

Have you lost your job and now you are struggling to find work that pays the bills?

Did you find the man or woman of your dreams, but things have changed and now you wish you hadn’t?

So let me ask the question one more time: does God ever let you down? If you are feeling that way, or are tempted to – you are not alone. Even people that knew Jesus personally might have felt that way… or at least they may have felt they had reason to.

You see, we can talk all day long about our “relationship with God,” but three Biblical characters come to my mind that actually knew Him personally. I mean, they interacted with Jesus, they watched Him, listened to Him, and learned from Him. They knew who Jesus really was! Their lives are recorded in the New Testament as being part of His life, so the personal connection went both ways.

Despite that, I think it can be argued that all three of these people might have felt some disappointment with Jesus. Put another way, they might have admitted they felt let down by God.

But all three characters faced their natural reactions and chose to respond to Jesus in different ways. I think we can learn something from their examples because these are ways we still respond to Jesus Christ today.

The first of these three characters is John the Baptist. He had a key role before Jesus’ ministry. Since he and Jesus were cousins, he probably knew Jesus as they were growing up together. Maybe they even played together as children – this is not an unreasonable assumption.

John the Baptist turned out to be a rough and rugged character – unconventional, certainly. He was a strong man with equally strong convictions. He didn’t think twice about confronting the hypocritical religious leaders and calling them a “brood of vipers” (Matt. 3:7). His straight talk and no-nonsense approach attracted truth-seekers, and he had many followers and disciples.

A time came, however, when John the Baptist prepared the way for Jesus’ ministry as a “voice in the wilderness” (John 1:23). He did this because he had a right view of Jesus. John said of Him, “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30), so John the Baptist grasped the proper priorities and how things needed to be.

None of this was an act. John the Baptist was a man of God who had a passion for proclaiming the truth and for living it out. His extraordinary ministry and exemplary character were affirmed when Jesus said of him that there was “…none greater” (Luke 7:28). To be sure, John the Baptist was the real deal.

It is difficult to know how much time John the Baptist actually had with Jesus Christ. There was that special occasion where John had baptized Jesus (Matt. 3:13-17), and John had felt that Jesus should have baptized him instead. But in their adult years, it seems they had little face-to-face contact.

We know John the Baptist publicly confronted Herod Antipas for the king’s sins (Matt. 14:1-13), and this had resulted in John’s arrest and imprisonment – and ultimately his beheading. This happened early in the ministry of Jesus Christ, so there was no opportunity for further contact between the two cousins after that point.

It is after John’s arrest that we learn of his doubts about Jesus Christ. In a desperate situation with his life on the line, John the Baptist faced gnawing questions. Reports of Jesus had found their way into John’s cell, and news of Jesus’ ministry had worked its way into the fabric of John’s deepest frustrations. Time had passed since that glorious baptism, and Jesus’ ministry was now thriving while John’s had abated.

John’s disciples fed him bits and pieces of information as they were able to, and it’s fair to say these reports reinforced the misgivings John had of Jesus. You see, the ministries and activities of Jesus and John were very different, and it’s not beyond reason to suggest these differences aroused John’s concerns.

John’s choices had set him apart from the crowd while Jesus’ choices had blended in. John the Baptist and his disciples fasted often, but Jesus and his disciples ate and drank with sinners (Matt. 11:18-19). John performed no signs in his earthly ministry (John 10:41), but Jesus – and his disciples – performed miracles of every kind (Matt. 9:35, 10:1). John lived reclusively, but Jesus was a very public person who was often surrounded by enormous crowds of people.

Now John was sitting in prison, captive most of all to his own disappointments. It’s not hard to imagine the questions that may have gone through his mind, such as, If Jesus was really the Messiah as he himself – John – had announced, then why wasn’t Jesus doing more? Why was Jesus not getting down to the business of establishing His kingdom and burning up the wicked with unquenchable fire? (Matt. 3:12). Was he here in prison because Jesus was powerless to do anything about the situation?

When John the Baptist could resist his own insecurities no longer, he sent some of his disciples to confront Jesus and to ask Him directly, “Are you the promised Messiah or should we be looking for someone else?” (Matt. 11:2-3). The question is a revealing one because it shows John had expectations of Jesus that were unfulfilled. It also shows that John the Baptist was unsure, doubtful, and delicate – the same way you and I have felt from time to time.

John wanted to know if he’d been misled. Was Jesus their only hope or was somebody else going to come along that was a better fit for the job? Was Jesus Christ really the Messiah, or not?

Jesus sent John’s disciples back to John with an answer, but it was hardly the one John the Baptist was seeking. Jesus challenged John to consider the evidence of His miracles, and he added, “…blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.” In other words, Jesus exhorted John to cling to the truth of Old Testament Scripture. He did not give John a simple “yes” or “no” answer, but he left him hanging a bit. Jesus responded to John’s heart instead of his mind because John’s heart was the seat of his faith.

We can say John the Baptist was wrong for the ideas he had about how Jesus needed to operate, but – honestly – we’re not much different. We expect God to work in certain ways too, and if God does not fulfill our expectations, we also get disappointed.

We may not like to admit it, but it’s easy for us to think that if our God is really the God He says He is, then we have a right to expect something different from Him. I feel it’s likely that John died with some of his questions unanswered. That doesn’t mean his faith wasn’t real. It means he was human, and because he was human, his reactions to Jesus Christ were imperfect – the same way yours and mine can be too.

A second character that probably felt let down by Jesus Christ was Judas Iscariot. What do we know of him?

As one of the original 12 disciples, Judas Iscariot basically lived with Jesus for three years. He was given assignments and divine powers by Jesus (Matt. 10:1-4), and he was the official treasurer for the group (John 12:6) – albeit a deceptive and self-serving one.

The bottom line is Judas saw Jesus perform many miracles and he heard Jesus teach many times. He learned directly from the King of kings and Lord of lords, and he had the opportunity to grow as few others did. He saw the mistakes and the actions of the other disciples, and he learned from all of this. In other words, as a disciple of Jesus Christ, Judas Iscariot had the optimal schooling in the Gospel of the kingdom.

But it’s likely that Judas Iscariot was also a Jewish zealot. Many scholars believe his surname, “Iscariot” was a form of the title Sicarii, meaning “dagger-men.” This was a group of zealots who despised the Roman oppression. They were known to carry a knife with them, so they were prepared to assassinate traitors and capitulators. The Jewish zealots were principally motivated by socio-economic and political considerations. They believed that if they turned their nation back to God and incited a war against the Romans, the Messiah would rise to lead them and establish His Kingdom.

It’s easy to see how all this may have played out in Judas’ mind. Jesus was a righteous Jew and a descendant of King David. He spoke of establishing His kingdom, and he cast out demons, produced abundant food, and controlled the weather. Surely Jesus could lead the Jews to victory over the Romans and usher in God’s Kingdom! In Judas’ activist mind, his own ideas made perfect sense.

But somewhere along the line, the situation changed. Judas became disappointed as Jesus let him down. Jesus began to talk about dying, and His descriptions of His coming Kingdom didn’t fit with Judas’ ideals. Judas began to doubt Jesus, and he began to openly chide Jesus for His choices and priorities (John 12:3-6).

We know how this turned out. Judas chose to betray Jesus for 30 pieces of silver (Luke 22:3-6; Matt. 27:3-5). Perhaps Judas had come to a point where he felt Jesus was a fake – a false Messiah, someone who was not fulfilling the expectations that Judas had of a ruler that would lead Israel into her kingdom. We don’t know for sure – but it all seems to fit the larger story.

The bigger issue is the questions that are raised by how things ultimately transpired: How could Judas live, eat, walk, and talk with Jesus Christ day in and day out for three years and still turn out as he did? How could Judas miss the Messiah when he knew him so well? How could Judas hear the Gospel so clearly and miss having the right relationship with Jesus Christ?

We are left with some element of speculation, but it’s reasonable to assume that Judas resented Jesus and felt justified in his own views (Mark 14:6-16). Ultimately, that triggered his decision to turn Jesus over to the authorities. The greater account of Judas Iscariot suggests he had some underlying anger issues with the whole situation – which may explain why “Satan entered him” (John 13:27). The Bible teaches that our anger always gives Satan an opportunity (Eph. 4:27).

In the end, Judas’ response to Jesus Christ was likely dominated by a selfish desire for political change. Judas wanted conditions that were not there. Jesus didn’t overthrow the Romans as Judas wanted Him to, and so Judas’ selfish intentions led to profound personal compromise. It fostered resentment, clouded better judgment, and it ultimately destroyed him. Judas Iscariot wanted things to work out his way – not Jesus’ way. When Jesus didn’t do what Judas most wanted Him to do, Judas was through with Him.

Today, Judas Iscariot’s name is synonymous with betrayal, treachery, and disloyalty. He’s one of the most hated figures in Scripture – so it’s not without some hesitation that I suggest his patterns are often our own.

To lessen the blow, I’ll speak for myself. It is easy for me to get focused on one or two goals in my life to the exclusion of all else God is trying to do. In this situation, I can end up ignoring the things God is doing in my life, the lessons He is teaching me, or the way He is working in the life of my church, my friends, my family, and even my country.

Because it’s natural for me to become selfish in my expectations of God, it’s not hard to start compromising here and there and doing things I once never thought I would. I believe there is a huge principle at stake here. You see, we can be surrounded by believers and ministry and still fall. We can hear the regular teaching of God’s Word and still fail. We can witness God at work and still miss the most important need to be in a right relationship with God.

If we persist in thinking about ourselves first – what we can get out of the situation, what we think the outcomes should be, or how we feel “who” should be doing “what,” then we completely miss what God most needs to accomplish in our own lives the very same way Judas missed it. At that point, resentments creep in and we say and do things we ought not to.

And here’s the third and final character: the thief on the cross. By this, I mean the “good” thief (Luke 23:39-43). We don’t even know his name. There were two thieves who died with Jesus, and while both received the penalty for their crimes, the “good” thief gave Jesus the proper respect.

I feel that – for various reasons – the “good” thief is the most remarkable man of the three individuals we have assessed. What do we know of him? Not much, I’m afraid.

We do know that when Jesus was crucified, there was a cross on either side of Him. On His left and right were two criminals. In the Greek language, they are called “kakourgos,” which has the straightforward meaning of “criminal,” “evil-doer,” or “one who commits serious crimes.”

The “good” thief was a bad man. Other gospels call him a “robber.” He could have been a bandit – someone that ambushed others, took advantage of them, and left them for dead. It’s very likely that this “good” thief had been the sort of person that Jesus had in mind when He told His parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). This “good” thief had been a burden, a blight on society – and so he was sentenced to death for his crimes.

But despite his faulty resume, this “good” thief had a right view of God! He asked the other bellicose thief, “Don’t you fear God?” He put the “bad” thief in his place by correcting the latter’s improper assumptions of Jesus Christ.

To put this remarkable situation another way, the “good” thief’s mouth revealed the condition of his heart (Luke 6:45). The Bible teaches that you are what you say, and the “good” thief said to Jesus Christ, “…remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

Whoa! By ANY measure, this is an astounding statement!

Consider that by this point, all of Jesus’ disciples had fled the scene, and only John is recorded as being at the cross (John 19:26). These disciples were the men Jesus had personally trained. These were the guys who had seen supernatural evidence of Jesus’ power and authority. These were the guys who had learned from the Messiah Himself – and they were nowhere to be found!

The “good” thief, on the other hand, had had none of that training and experience. He had not spent the same time with Jesus Christ, and he had not seen all the miracles Jesus had done. He knew far less about Jesus than others did. By conventional standards, the “good” thief had missed the boat.

On top of all that, Jesus Christ was now dying. Beaten and bloodied so badly, He was now unrecognizable (Isaiah 52:14). Jesus was breathing His last right there beside the “good” thief, and by all measures of the term, Jesus Christ appeared mortal. Few people at that crucifixion scene were confident in Jesus Christ’s future kingdom.

But faith sees through the way things seem to the way they really are (Heb. 11:1), and so here the “good” thief showed more faith than many upright personalities in the Scriptures. The “good” thief saw Jesus Christ correctly. He didn’t see a dying man – he saw a living King of kings. He didn’t see someone who had failed and was unable to deliver – he saw someone who was assured of having the final victory. He didn’t see someone who was abused and humiliated by others – he saw someone who had infinite power.

In short, the “good” thief recognized Jesus Christ as the Messiah! He knew Jesus was not an imposter or someone who couldn’t deliver on His promises. The “good” thief looked beyond the limitations of that horrible situation, beyond the natural questions that saturated that awful scene, and he fully understood that Jesus Christ would still receive and set up His everlasting kingdom.

The “good” thief faced personal adversities that exceeded those challenges John the Baptist and Judas Iscariot had faced, and yet – against all human understanding! – he still believed that Jesus was exactly who He said He was. For his astounding demonstration of genuine faith, the “good” thief received way more benefit than he had bargained for.

It’s a weighty question, but I have to ask it. Which one of these three individuals are you most like right now? Are you like John the Baptist: insecure, unsure, disappointed, and needing reassurance that God is still able to be the God you most need? Are you asking God to reaffirm Himself to you so that you can be convinced of His promises and plans?

Perhaps you are like Judas Iscariot: angry, resentful, focused on what you most want and what you feel the situation needs to be. Are you taking in the regular teaching of God’s Word and participating in a ministry – but it’s having little effect on changing who you are and how you’re seeing things?

Or, are you like the “good” thief? You are in a place where the odds are stacked against you – and by all standard assessments, there is no clear evidence that God is demonstrating Himself to you the way your desperate situation most needs Him to. Do you find yourself in a tenuous spot where you cannot see the power of God in the circumstances you are facing – – – and yet your heart is still bursting with faith?

I cannot answer the tough questions of these last few paragraphs for anyone but myself. However, my prayer for all of us is that our faith rises up and shows itself in the tough and uncertain times just as the faith of the “good” thief did.

The “good” thief didn’t see Jesus Christ as someone who had let him down – he properly saw the only one who gave him hope.

#Examine #Thy #Self #if #this #message #doesn't #pierce #your #heart #then #there #is #something #wrong

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votederpycausemufins · 5 years

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Red: ch. 13 Earrings

this is cross posted on Ao3 (my username is causemufins)

A certain rockstar shows up to help his niece and stop Lila's lies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chloé couldn’t help herself from fidgeting in her seat. It had taken a bit of prodding from her and Alya to get Marinette to come back to school after what had happened yesterday. The class was still treating the designer like scum, but Chloé was no longer upset at the new girl as the message she sent to Marinette was apparently supposed to cheer her up, it just managed to have the opposite effect.

Chloé felt her phone buzz and couldn’t help but smile. That should be the message saying they were almost here. And by them, it meant Penny and Jagged Stone. Yesterday after school, she had met back up with Marinette to get her phone. She told Marinette she was just going to ask the rockstar just to publicly denounce Lila, but that isn’t what happened.

“Hey! What’s my favorite honorary niece calling for?”

“Is that supposed to mean you have more than one?”

“Nah, Marinette’s the only one who deserves that title. Speaking of that rock and rock girl, who’re you and why d’ya have her phone?”

“My name is Chloé Bourgeois. You may recognize my name as my father is the mayor of Paris, owns the hotel you tend to live in while in Paris and I am also friends with Marinette. She asked me to call you because she feels a bit nervous asking you for a favor.”

“I’m happy to help my lucky rocker with anything she needs. She’s helped me tons with all her designs for me.”

“Well, we have someone in our class at school that claims to know you and even though Marinette actually knows you, they’re only believing this other girl’s stories about you and won’t listen when Marinette says she’s lying. We’re hoping you could like publicly state you don’t know this girl or something.”

“What?! Look, I may be famous, but using my fame like that ain’t very rock and roll. What’s she been saying?”

“Mainly that before you had Fang, you had a hamster… sorry Marinette reminded me it’s a cat. Anyway, you apparently had a cat, and it ran out onto a plane runway so this girl went out to the runway and saved the cat.”

“What?! Anyone who’s a fan knows I’ve had Fang since he hatched which was ages ago! And I doubt anyone random could get onto a runway. Plus I would think it’s hard to hit anything on a runway. Aren’t there like only three wheels on planes? And those things are huge! Anything would run off before it could get too close.”

“Exactly! Even you can see how idiotic it is without putting much thought into it! But of course everyone else, even the smartest kid in the class just give their blind trust while this girl villainizes Marinette.”

“Excuse me, they’re whAT?!”

“First of all, ow my ears… second, basically only a few of us know about this girl’s lies. There’s me, but I used to be a bully before Marinette helped me improve so everyone will think I’m bullying this girl if I try to stop her lies. Marinette of course knows but this girl has threatened her and bullied her to the point Marinette is barely holding on. There’s a boy that knows about this girl’s lies but does absolutely nothing because it’s ‘not hurting anyone’”

“Lies and rumors are similar. They can ruin an image and hurt people emotionally and damage relationships. Lies are far from rock and roll.”

“Yeah, the three other people who know are a girl who just moved here, one friend I’ve had for ages, and Marinette’s old best friend, who only recently found out, and before then just acted like Marinette was jealous of this other girl. It didn’t help that this so called friend is a reporter and when Marinette started talking about the bully’s lies, the friend asked for proof without getting her own proof for the bully!”

“Man, no wonder my rock and roll niece needs my help. I’ll be at the school tomorrow!”

“Wait you’ll what?”

“Better if I set the record straight in person. Plus it gives me an excuse to visit Marinette. Hey Penny! Put in the schedule we need to visit Marinette tomorrow! No the school not the house! I’m gonna make sure people know she’s my rocking niece!”

“I… I guess we’re going to see you then, huh.”

“Yeah! See ya! Rock and Roll!!!”

“... So… Jagged is coming to the school tomorrow to out Lila.”

“HE’S WHAT?!”

Chloé looked over to the notes Sabrina was taking. The redhead was understanding of Chloé being distracted once she explained what was going to happen. Looking at the scattered notes, it seemed Sabrina was equally distracted.

Then there was a knock on the door of the classroom. The whole class, except for Marinette, looked at the door. Chloé guessed the ravenette didn’t look because she was nervous or something. Mlle Bustier paused the lesson before walking over to the door and going outside to see who it was. The class kept staring as a quick muffled conversation occurred before their teacher stepped back into the room. “Marinette, it seems your… uncle is here to see you.”

Everyone looked at Marinette for a few moments before looking at the door again as the rockstar stepped inside, their jaws dropping.

“Marinette! How’s my rockin’ niece doing?!”

Marinette gave a small smile. “Um, I’m fine.”

Jagged shook his head. “Nah, I heard the story. So, who’s the chick giving you trouble?” He looked around at the class.

“I believe you’re talking about Lila Rossi.” Sabrina was the one to speak up. “She’s told us a few times that she knows you, so that’s the best guess I can make.”

“Alright, who’s she?” Jagged asked, not even needing a verbal answer as the class all looked towards the liar. “You huh? And you apparently know me how?”

“Oh, you probably forgot because it was a while ago. I saved your cat.”

“I’ve never had a cat. I’ve only had Fang. In fact I hatched him from his egg myself. But I mean, with the band ‘Kitty Section’ maybe cats are pretty rock and roll. Hey, wait isn’t that the band you helped design for Marinette.” Marinette nodded. “I guess that's why they look so bloody rock and roll. Speaking of designing, I also wanted to ask if you could help with my next album cover. I mean, after that poster and glasses, I just can’t get enough of your style!”

Marinette blushed slightly and everything was silent for a few moments before Rose spoke up. “Wait, so you really don’t know Lila?”

“I mean, I didn’t even know her name until this girl up front said it. The most I knew is there was a girl in here bullying my niece which isn’t rock and roll at all.”

“Marinette’s been the bully! She probably just lied about Lila and made you say all that.” Kim spoke up.

Jagged shook his head. “Nah, I didn’t even find out about this from her. Someone else did and they just told me about this liar’s story and how she was messing with my niece with lies and threats.”

Rose and Mylene both looked shocked and the former spoke up. “Lila, you haven’t been threatening Marinette, have you?”

“Of course not. Chloé and Marinette have been hanging out a lot! She’s probably trying to hurt me. And Jagged stays at her hotel a lot. Plus, doesn’t she tend to force people to do what she wants because her dad is mayor?”

“First, yes I did call him. Second, I’ve been hanging out with Marinette because she has lost all of you as friends because you all believed Lila over her. Third, Jagged isn’t a permanent resident so my father doesn’t have power over him. If anything he would just need to find a new hotel to stay at when he visits.”

Suddenly, Alya stood up after Chloé had finished speaking. “She also didn’t just threaten Marinette. She threatened me as well. I learned from Ladybug herself that she and Lila aren’t friends so I was planning to post the correction post anyway, but Lila threatened that if I did post it, she would make Marinette’s life worse, and from how all of you were texting Marinette hateful messages yesterday, it seems like she made it happen.”

“Really guys.” Chloé spoke up once more. “Wasn’t Marinette supposed to be the class’s everyday Ladybug? What the hell happened?”

The whole class was silent for a good thirty seconds before all hell broke loose. Chloé and Jagged helped Marinette escape the classroom while Alya held the rest of the class back from following the designer. As they went out the door, Chloé caught a disapproving look from Adrien, but there wasn’t much he could do.

Eventually, the three of them had gotten far enough away from the classroom to give Marinette a chance to calm down. As Jagged did his best to help Marinette, Chloé felt Marinette briefly take her hand, but when the designer pulled them away, Chloé could tell she had left something in her hand.

With a quick glance, Chloé looked in the palm of her hand to see two earrings sitting there. Her eyes widened, but before she could say anything, there was a scream that came from the classroom. Ladybug was needed. And Marinette was in no condition to fill that roll.

#miraculous ladybug #ladybug and chat noir #ladybug #chloe bourgeois #marinette dupain cheng #lila rossi #jagged stone #uncle jagged

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hes-writer · 5 years

Text

Just A Little Bit of Your Heart (4)

Summary: Harry and Y/N are in an open relationship

Warnings: angst

Word Count: 3461 words

He sat on the foot of the bed while she fed herself with the creamy mash. His brain was going antsy with the conversation that he had overheard. “Who were you talking to?”

She hummed on a mouthful of food, “Shawn,” Although it sounded more like ‘Shom’

“What erm, what were you guys talking about?”

Y/N waved him off casually as if it was nothing, “Don’t worry about it.”

Needless to say, Harry was a bit more reluctant to invite another girl to his bed. Before hearing Y/N stumble through the front doors while tripping over her heeled feet was something that was unheard of. Harry would be l laying the nape of his neck on the soft fabric of the sofa with his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling, hearing her struggle over her purse and the metal keys. There were no tedious topics of what ran through his mind but overall; Y/N popped up from every corner of his brain as if to mock him that he deserved what he was feeling right now.

Harry felt disgusted; not at Y/N, but at himself. He felt worthless and guilty and he didn’t know how Y/N could stand through all his bullshit when he was doing it without saying anything as so much as a squeak. It seemed as though he had to staple his lips up every day to prevent him from saying something hurtful to her because after all--it would seem hypocritical of him to get angry at her for something that he did more-- twenty-three times more to be exact.

He wanted to scrub his body raw with the shower loofa as if thousands of bacteria littered his skin and all they wanted to do was taint him with infidelity and nip his skin to his skeleton as if it would rattle some sense into his dense mind. Of course, it was all in his head but he couldn’t stop his hand from moving aggressively, wanting to rid himself of any parts that screamed his connection with other women. Despite his efforts, the logical part of him knew that there was nothing he could do to wipe himself clean of the mistakes that he had made and repeated more times than he can count.

------

Seeing Y/N walk into their bedroom after showering made a revolting taste splash through his mouth. Although she was wrapped in a soft towel, Harry could still see the purple marks on her skin, the red love bites dotted on her neck and he was briefly reminded on what she said to him only a few weeks prior about the marks on his own body.

He was so mean to her. He was vile and rude, and much more defensive than he thought possible. He didn’t have to stand up for the women who left those marks because, in retrospect, Harry didn’t care for them as much as he cared for Y/N. But he did anyway. It was Y/N all along and he can’t believe that it took him such a long time to realize it. Regardless of any way he put it, he knew deep inside that he only said those words to her because the guilt was expanding through his chest, his neck, and to his face—which he was certain was turning into a light shade of red—as if his own body couldn’t help but own up to his wrongdoings.

-----

It was yet another time for an award show and Harry had been itching in his pants. He and Y/N usually had rituals for these kinds of things. As cheesy as it seemed, one of them would always ask the other if they could be each other's’ date for the night. It was their thing and as unnecessary as it is--since they were both invited each and every time--someone had to do it.

But it was a slap to the face when Y/N confronted him about it one night when they were both at home. Apparently, Shawn was following in his footsteps and took a step into the movie direction, just like he did with Dunkirk. Except for him, it was a romantic comedy that starred Y/N. Harry was shocked, hell, he knew that Y/N was in the means of shooting a new film but he didn’t know it was going to be this genre—or with Shawn, for that matter.

There had been some rumors regarding Shawn and Y/N—they always kind of existed but both of them got better at ignoring it. Shawn suggested going to the red carpet together, even though she was with Harry, because not only was it inputted by their PR teams—they thought that it would be great for the movie itself. Plus, given Y/N’s current relationship with Harry, it gives him a taste of his own medicine to see her enjoying herself without someone holding her back.

——

And Y/N was right. The media did go crazy seeing Shawn by her side instead of the usual man that accompanied her. Rumors flew minutes after the red carpet walk was broadcasted and she could hear screams of anguish and happiness mixed amongst the fans when the person dressed in the black suit was revealed to be Shawn.

“So, is there any particular reason why Shawn is with you tonight? Where’s Harry?” The interviewer asked, pointing the microphone towards the both of them.

Shawn and Y/N looked at each other, silently agreeing on what they had planned previously. Y/N gave a smile before answering, “Actually, Shawn is starring in a new rom-com with me!”

He flashed his signature smirk, eyes softening to give the fans a taste of how well he could do. “We haven’t started filming yet but I’m very excited,”

The woman continued to ask questions about the upcoming film to which Shawn responded. Meanwhile, Y/N eyes wandered away to the rest of the individuals littering the area. Squeals erupted when a sleek, black car approached the venue and she just knew that it would be Harry. She smiled sadly, her eyes stinging with slight tears. There was no doubt in her mind that she missed him, but she knew that he had to learn how it felt to lose her.

The moment he stepped out of the confines of the car, Y/N swore everything turned into white noise and she seemed to have tunnel vision. He was all she could see and god, did he take her breath away. His hair was parted elegantly, his suit—a royal blue that suited his skin tone and brought out the gleaming emerald of his eyes. His pink lips were so pigmented that she could see it from where she stood. His fingernails glimmered against the bright light—pink and blue polish decorating them. Y/N could see and understand what made her fall in love with him in the first place. How gentle he was with greeting the people who came to see him—to the chauffeur that drove and opened him for the world to see with a little shy smile.

What she didn’t see coming was a skinny figure emerging, first through the dazzling diamonds encrusted on her heels, then to the emerald green nightgown that seemed to hug her figure delicately—which was strangely similar to the one Y/N wore on their first carpet appearance together. In complete disbelief of what she saw, Y/N tightened her grip on Shawn’s arm whereas Harry simply offered his own to the woman he had invited with him. What the hell is he doing?

Y/N shifted her attention back to the woman in front of her, pursing her lips in a tight-lipped smile—the cameras were still flashing. What the actual heck was her boyfriend doing right now? Granted when she told him about who her date was going to be tonight, he was a bit upset. However, she wasn't expecting him to bring a whole ass date. Her being with Shawn was great publicity to the movie and kept people speculating about their relationship, keeping their attention on them. There was no doubt that as of right not—Harry and Y/N are over. And it might as well be the truth, seeing as Harry strutted with the lady attached on the crook of his arm, looking happier than Y/N had seen him in days.

She wasn't sure if her eyes were too dilated that it made the curve on his face bigger or if he was actually having the time of his life right now. Y/N meant what she said. She really did miss Harry and she absolutely loves him with all her heart. One more glance at him and the girl had her wanting to rip him to shreds but at the same time, walk up to him and kiss him like he was hers.

Y/N didn't have to do any of the walking, though, as Harry took it upon himself to lead his body towards her. Through wishful thinking, Y/N hoped that it was because he still gravitated towards her but she knew that it was too far-fetched to even be true.

“Harry! Nice for you to join us,” The interviewer greeted the new additions. “And who is this stunning woman with you tonight?”

The woman by his side shyly smiled and Y/N wanted to slap her face impulsively. Who does she think she is?

Harry chuckled, “This is Tanya,” He looked Y/N straight in the eyes while saying, “My date.”

Y/N internally rolled her eyes, cursing him out in her head.

“Now, I'm sure everyone wants to know what’s going on here,” She spoke, raising an eyebrow. “Shawn’s here with Y/N because of their new film. What about you and Tanya?”

“I have no comment on that,” Harry gave her a smile, shutting down any advances.

“Come on! What is she to you?”

All four of them shifted uncomfortably knowing that the interview was getting into business she had no reason to be in.

“She's uh—she’s a special friend, I guess,”

“Are you saying you and Ms. Y/L/N have broken it off?” She pried, looking giddy that she might've been the first person to find out this news.

Harry whipped his head to face Y/N, nodding his head hesitantly in the heat of the moment but the damage had been done. Y/N gaped at him with a slightly opened mouth, brows furrowed in confusion at the sudden confession she had no memory of happening. They never spoke anything of a breakup and here he was subtly confirming it on national television.

“Is this true, Y/N?”

Y/N couldn’t move but she was grateful that Shawn’s lean body was there to support her paralyzed one. Common sense was spiraling down the drain—if they never spoke about it, then it must be a show. Maybe his management requested for him to do that so his image won't be ruined with rumors. Nonetheless, shouldn't have Harry talked about it with Y/N? She spoke to him about tonight. Couldn't he do the same? Or was his plan to publicly embarrass her?

She can imagine her face resembling a goldfish with bubbles popping out of its mouth and an attention span that lasted as little as the ‘break up’ conversation happened. She must look a fool, looking as if she had no recollection (and she doesn’t) and now she will be portrayed as the woman who was too clingy to let the past go. They are never going to paint him in a bad light--no--just her.

----

The night continued with sympathetic glances from her celebrity friends who must've heard the news. Some even came to her, declaring their availability in her ‘need for comfort’ to which Y/N was forced to nod and swallow the huge lump in her throat because she felt like she was about to puke.

Yes, she is madly in love with Harry and it took a lot from her to even move her body in ways she only had for him. But she really wished that he talked to her about it instead of dropping a bombshell.

“Are you going to be okay?” Shawn asked, shrugging on his coat while handing Y/N hers. She nodded slipping her arms in the holes, adjusting the collar to fit her better before glancing around to find Harry. “I’ll be fine,”

----

As Y/N entered the limo that was to drive them home, she was surprised, to say the least, to see Harry trampled on the leather seat, being straddled by Tanya. Both of them seemed to not notice her standing on the pavement. The empathic part of her knew that she had to prevent pictures from being captured and so—she had no choice but to scurry inside as quickly as possible, not caring much for interrupting the heated make-out session.

Y/N sat across the couple, averting her eyes somewhere else except it was impossible for her to do so. The windows were tinted dark enough so that she couldn't see the outside—all there was was a reflection of the inside of the car. She cleared her throat.

“Is she riding with us?” Y/N questioned, trying hard not to let bitterness escape her tone. She was really hoping that she could to Harry tonight. She couldn't do so because it was busy the whole evening.

Harry tilted his head over Tanya to see her, eyes widening in realization. His large hands grabbed Tanya’s waist to pry her off of his lap to which she plainly complied. However, he seemed to forget about the problem in pants, grasping the tent in an effort to hide it.

“Y/N! Wha–when did you get here?” He was breathless with eyeballs on the verge of popping out of his sockets.

“About two minutes ago,” She crossed her legs over the other, repeating her question.

“Uh yeah, she is,”

Y/N nodded, whipping out her phone and immediately texting Shawn about whatever. From the corner of her eye, she could see Harry mumble to himself, closing his eyes while shaking his head. None of them spoke for the rest of the car ride.

---

“Mind explaining what happened back there?” Harry tensed, his feet chasing after Y/N who was light on her steps.

She shrugged her shoulders, muttering a “what do you mean”.

“In the car,” He continued, “You made Tanya uncomfortable. She's my guest.”

Y/N slammed her purse on the dresser, fingers pausing from the action of swiping the cotton pad across her face to remove her make up. “I'm sorry, I guess?”

He rolled his eyes, sitting himself down to remove his shoes and dress socks.

“Coulda been a little nicer,”

“You want to know what's nice, Harry?” Y/N slammed her hands flat on the wooden vanity. “You telling me that we decided to break-up! I mean, what the hell was that?”

Harry gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing from the side view Y/N could see. “I didn't even know we were ‘broken up’.”

“It was nothing. I just thought it held some truth, don't you think?” Harry quirked a lip.

“What?”

“You and Shawn,” He spat. “There's something going on between you two, isn't there?”

Y/N swore she was about to rip her hair out of her head. He was being ridiculous. “No, there isn’t,”

“That's bullshit,” Harry laughed, balling his fists.

“We’re just fucking,” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest. The skin on her forearm rubbing against the scratchy fabric of her dress. It was vulgar, but it was the truth. “Unlike you and Tanya,”

He shook his head incredulously. “It was a joke! Live a little,”

“That was not a fucking joke. That was humiliation,”

“Sorry, I didn't realize it would hurt you,” He mumbled, not sounding like he meant his words. Y/N didn't know if he was taking this seriously or not.

“Of course it would hurt me!” Her voice turning into a pitch higher to defend herself. “You think I’d just be fine with that?”

“Wouldn't know that,”

Was he seriously blaming her for this? For being hurt? She thought.

“You're an asshole,” She turned her back on him but still keeping a close eye through the mirror.

“Me? At least I don't lie,”

She was confused, “What the hell did I lie about?”

He stared at her as if the answer was plastered on his forehead, “You and Shawn!”

“There is nothing between us,”

“And I told you, I wouldn't have known because you haven't talked to me at all,” Harry stressed out his words, elongating certain syllables to emphasize his point.

“You really want to discuss talking? Then tell me why you basically told the whole world that we broke up,” She snarled. “These things are something that we talk about in private, Harry”

She took off her heels, bare feet making contact with the carpeted floor. “This is our relationship, not theirs so please—please tell me why you did that. When you knew that it would hurt me?”

Her voice progressed to a whisper the longer Y/N talked. Her figure slouching some as she became vulnerable with her feelings.

He sighed, eyes softening at her worn out appearance, “Because I was jealous,”

She pulled back, appalled at his words. Jealous? “Jealous?”

He nodded, breathing heavily through his nose as if to gather the courage to continue.

“I realized that I couldn't see you being with another guy,” He stares at her deeply while his mouth ran its course. “I couldn't see you with marks all over your skin because of him. I didn't want to imagine you being intimate the way you did with me. I couldn't handle it,”

He swallowed before continuing, “Everyday, I thought about how you must have felt when I–,” He trailed off a little, emerald orbs breaking their contact with hers. He cleared his throat, “I was so selfish and I realized that I took advantage of you,”

Y/N couldn't help but agree with him. She felt used and abused during their time together, but she was glad that he was owning up to it.

“And I was wondering why it hurt me so much,” Harry took her hands into his, pulling her closer to him. “It's because I love you, Y/N.”

“If you loved me, you wouldn't have done what you did tonight,” She spoke thoughtfully, glancing to the wall in conscious thought.

He nodded profusely, “I know, but believe me. I do,”

“You do?” She asked rhetorically.

“I do. I don't want to be with other women. I don't want to as much as taking a second glance at them. I'm happy with you, Y/N and I know that I have a lot to make up for but I'm willing to show you everything,” He pleaded with her, hands squeezing right. “Please give me another chance,”

Y/N stared at him with glossy eyes. She loves this man but she didn't know if she could handle being with him. They've been in an open relationship for too long that she didn't know if they could still be a normal couple with each other. Too many things have changed and there's no denying that some things were far too different to even be considered them.

She was using all her brain power to gather the advantages and disadvantages of the two decisions she was allowed to choose. On one hand, breaking it off with Harry would be like escaping a mob. She was so suffocated by his presence that it would be nice to break free from it and run to Shawn. He was always there for her anyway. It would be a new start for the both of them it wouldn't hurt neither parties too much because they already sort of had closure with the distance that pried them apart.

On the other, Y/N was smitten with Harry and it seemed that he was, too. There's no use throwing away something that's broken when it is only bent on the edges. And maybe that was them. Maybe all they had to do was to polish off the rough creases before their love could fulfill each other to the fullest.

Minutes of silence passed and the hope filling Harry’s eyes slowly dispersed. But he kept determined to wait for her response—not wanting to rush Y/N. But Y/N had already made up her mind.

“I want to end it.” She heaved punctually, closing her eyes as to not see his reaction.

Harry thought and for a second, his heart beamed in pure joy before pounding in worry. End it?

“You mean the open relationship?” Harry asked, “Or us?”

-----

wooooooo!

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adastramumu · 4 years

Text

“ everyone lies. the only variable is about what ”

grace evelyn acker

(ALSO KNOWN AS LITERALLY MY OLDEST RP CHARCTER, DESPITE BEING MY YOUNGEST HERE)

age: 22

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: demisexual

occupation: journalist intern

species: witch

faceclaim: abigail cowen

abuse tw, alcoholism tw, cancer tw below the cut

From a very young age, Grace Acker discovered that letting people in was inviting a special kind of pain. It was something her mother had always told her—love is a weakness, my Grace—and something she’d learned firsthand the day the woman had walked out the front door and never come home. Only six at the time, she hadn’t understood why and had looked to her father for answers, constantly asking the older man questions until the day words had failed her father and a fist had been the only answer she’d gotten. Unlike his daughter, Arnold had given up searching for answers from his missing wife and instead started searching for them at the bottom of a bottle. He’d sworn to her that it would never happen again, that he’d stop drinking and be the father she’d loved again, but her bruises had barely yellowed before the cycle began again.

Grace pulled in on herself, growing wary and distrustful of the world. At school she became an easy target, small and quiet and too tired to stand up for herself. The older she got, the more apparent it became that everyone was out for themselves. She knew some of her classmates had seen the bruises when her shirt rode up and had heard their whispers about her father as he lost control of his drinking in increasingly public ways even as Grace herself lied that everything was fine. Still not one of them gave her a break or reached out to offer any sort of help or solace. Simon and Deanie were among the only people she trusted in the world; those two had been her rocks and more family to her than her own father. Grace would have fought anyone and everyone for her only two friends. She’d never told them the whole truth of what went on behind closed doors at her house, but just knowing they were around gave her an anchor and a safe place to hide when she needed it.

As her father began to fall apart, Grace found herself picking up the slack more and more. After he’d showed up to work drunk one time too many, Grace had gotten a job at the diner, working night shifts—she’d served coffee and done her homework beside the cash register. Someday, she promised herself, she’d become a journalist and leave Bellport and her father behind, taking only one souvenir of the man and the place—her magic. Whenever she could, when her father was gone out or passed out, Grace would sneak into his room and slip spellbooks off their bookshelf or dip into the box hidden beneath their bed for crystal, potion ingredients, and once even a pack of tarot cards with a little slip of paper that read Grace in her mother’s distinctive handwriting. It all fascinated her, but divination was where her true magical interest lay. She’d been curled up watching The Bachelor with the cards the first time she’d thought to read what was coming on the show. She’d gotten it right on the nose again and again, and by the time the final rose was handed out, an idea had formed. Posting celebrity gossip she’d divined using her cards and a little bit of good, old-fashioned internet snooping, Grace had gained a small following on both Instagram and a private blog and some useful journalistic experience.

She’d planned to leave for college, but her father’s diagnosis had changed everything—liver cancer. Unemployed and sick, Grace had no choice but to stay and support them both. Her student loans could mostly cover tuition for the local journalism program, but the medical bills piled up in a way that her job at the diner couldn’t come close to keeping up with. Even after she’d graduated and gotten a full-time job with the paper on top of waitressing overnight, it hadn’t come close. Ian DeSantos had been an occasional figure in her celebrity readings, always giving bizarre spreads hinting at a double life hidden behind the sweet relationship and clean image he seemed to project publicly. Grace was certain he was hiding something but had never been able to figure out what. If she was less desperate, she’d have kept it to herself, but his name seemed to pull in page views like few others, and page views meant ad revenue and sponsorship money. She’d gotten blasted the first time she’d speculated he was cheating, but then the pictures came out and Grace found herself caught up in an avalanche of anonymous online attention and offers of money. No matter how much the paper and her classes had hammered home journalistic integrity, money spoke and Grace was growing desperate. Maybe it was time to dig up some more dirt...

#ch: grace acker #grace: bio #muses

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alecthemovieguy · 5 years

Text

Being Nicole

‘Supergirl’ star Nicole Maines’ passion for transgender rights makes her super in real life, too

Transgender activist and actor Nicole Maines knew she was a girl around the age of 3 or 4.

“My case is kind of unique because I have a twin brother (Jonas),” she told Ellen Degeneres during an appearance on “Ellen” in 2018. “So, growing up with him, he was identifying with all these male things and feeling very comfortable in his body, and I wasn’t.”

Maines, the subject of the Mount Washington Valley’s One Book One Valley community read “Becoming Nicole,” slowing began publicly transitioning in the first grade, and officially presented herself as female in the fifth grade, when she changed her name from Wyatt to Nicole.

Maines, who is turning 22 on Oct. 7, became the center of the precedent-setting Maine Supreme Judicial Court case Doe v. Regional School Unit 26 regarding gender identity and bathroom use in schools. Maines had been barred from using the female bathroom after a complaint, but the court ruled that denying a transgender student access to the bathroom consistent with their gender identity is unlawful.

In 2018, Maines debuted as Nia Nal/Dreamer, television’s first transgender superhero, on “Supergirl.” She is returning as a series regular for season five which premieres Sunday, Oct. 6, at 9 p.m. on The CW.

One Book One Valley has a series of events throughout October culminating in an evening with “Becoming Nicole” author Amy Ellis Nutt on Thursday, Oct. 24, at 7 p.m. at Loynd Auditorium at Kennett High School in North Conway, N.H. In addition to Nutt, the plan is to have the Maines family be part of the discussion through a Skype connection.

I recently talked with Maines about growing up transgender, activism, privilege and the upcoming season of “Supergirl.”

“Becoming Nicole” is beautifully written, but it is very journalistic and academic in its approach. Is there anything you would’ve done differently or included in telling that story?

I don’t know. I think, of course, Amy did a phenomenal job, and I am so happy with how the book came out because I think it really does have something for everyone, whether or not you’re just starting to learn about transitioning and you’re looking for something new. But there was so much that had to be cut out in the final editing process and, unfortunately, a lot of what did get cut out was original writing from Jonas’ perspective. I don’t know if it was something I would’ve done differently, I think it is more of a shame that it couldn’t make it into the final cut. It was just so long before it was cut. So, I do hope at some point people do get to see that because it is really, really beautiful.

In “Becoming Nicole,” a therapist told your parents that you weren’t transgender because you were peeing standing up. What are some other examples you’ve encountered of misinformation about what transgender is?

Where do I even begin? So many people think that it is one of those things that you can kind of slap a label on and say, “This is what this is,” and with something as expansive as gender it is really impossible to paint it as very black and white. So many people have tried to say “Oh, all trans people look like this. This is how you spot a trans person.” And that’s 1) offensive, and 2) not true or realistic.

I think a lot of that has to do with how historically we are represented in the media: men in dresses and this and that. It is so much more expansive than that. No one group of people looks a certain way, and it is dangerous to try to categorize people like that. So, I think besides the peeing standing up, which is ridiculous, what is equally ridiculous is the idea that some people think that they can spot a trans person, and that’s sort of the whole basis of their argument.

You know how sometimes you read certain blogs or you read certain Twitter accounts just to make yourself mad? I stumbled across one, it was a really popular TERF account — which stands for trans-exclusionary radical feminists, which is pretty much feminists who believe trans women aren’t women, and they use recycled rhetoric from the ’70s saying that trans women are just men trying to invade women’s spaces and stupid shit like that. It was this person going on and on about, like, “Oh, none of you pass. None of you look like women. Yada yada yada.” And I was like, 1) no room to talk because her haircut was atrocious, and 2) come say it to my face. It really made me mad. It is atrocious that people think they can spot something like that. It is ridiculous.

It is kind of like the back-handed compliment that I receive a lot, that is “Oh, you don’t look trans,” or “Oh, never really would’ve guessed.” A lot of the time, I try not to jump on people for that because I know it is coming from a place where they’re trying to give me a compliment, but what does trans look like? What did you think I was going to look like?

And, of course, everyone thinks that we are supposed to look like men in dresses, which — even if we did — is rude as hell to say something like that because, not only is that stupid, but it is also reinforcing negative beauty standards among women, not just trans women, but women. Because you hear about the bathroom bills and they are like, “Oh, we are going to enforce no trans people in bathrooms.” Well, how are you going to enforce that? And then you get cases of cis women getting kicked out of the bathrooms because they look more masculine than others. Even for cisgender women that is not a black and white line. People look different, and it is totally unfair and unreasonable to say just because someone has harder features than somebody else that this is what is going on in your pants. That feels like a wild, crazy assumption to me.

So, obviously your father always loved you, but he struggled with your identity. Was there a specific moment when you finally felt truly seen by him?

I know a lot of moments where he really started having light bulb moments. I think for me, one of the first moments where I felt like I started being seen was when I started wearing girl’s clothes to school. My transition started going there slowly, but between second and third grade I had gone from wearing longer hair to wearing girl’s clothes all the time. I don’t know if it was even just my father, but by everyone, but that is when I started feeling like I was being seen. Then in fifth grade was when I had fully transitioned. I was allowed to pierce my ears and I was allowed to wear skirts and dresses. That really felt like I am seen. And then, of course, when my father finally started fighting for me. Because I knew, at that point, he still didn’t fully understand, but when he started defending me and defending my transition and my using the girl’s bathroom, I felt like I had him on my side.

I love last season of “Supergirl.” One of my favorite moments was when Nia Nal/Dreamer publicly announced herself as both an alien and a transgender woman because it put a positive face on a group who were being demonized in the show. How important do you think it is to give a face to marginalized people?

It is incredibly important. The best way to fight against marginalization and the most effective way that we fight back against people who are trying to erase us is with visibility. When you have an administration who, for incidents in a crazy hypothetical, removed me from the 2020 census, then the best way to combat that is to be more visible than ever. By saying, OK, you’re trying to make people think that we are not valid, you’re trying to make people think we don’t exist and that we are not solid and valid in our identities and our existence. Well, then we are going to show you that we are. We are going to show you: no, you cannot ignore us because we are here and it doesn’t really matter what you believe. It doesn’t really matter if you say, “Well, I don’t really believe in transgender.” Well, it isn’t really something for you to believe in because whether you like it or not, we are here. We exist and that’s not a matter of opinion. You do not get to choose whether or not my identity is valid because I am not doing it for you and we are not going to let you erase that. So, I think visibility is the number one method of defense against erasure.

Based on the trailer, the new season of “Supergirl” partially deals with the betrayal and anger Lena Luthor feels toward Carol Danvers hiding her identity of Supergirl from her. This seems like an apt metaphor for the similar sense of betrayal, hurt and confusion some people feel when a loved one comes out as trans or gay. Do you think that is intentional?

I don’t know if it was intentional. I think because there are so many different layers with Carol and Lena’s relationship, and especially with the Kryptonian-Luthor relationship. I think it is hard to boil it down to just that, because I get why Lena is upset and I get why those feelings are floating around, but personally, I’m kind of like nobody owes any facet of their identity to anybody but themselves. If they did not feel that they wanted to share a part of their identity with you, you don’t get to be mad about that. That is something that belongs entirely to them and if they did not choose, for whatever reason to disclose that part of themselves, that’s not because you necessarily did anything wrong, that’s because they had a choice and that’s not necessarily on them either. But, like I said, it is different between being trans and being a superhero. It is hard because, at the same time, it is like, “Oh, you were treating me like Lex, and I’m not Lex. You can trust me.” So, there’s a whole bunch of other stuff floating around, but I don’t know if it was a 100 percent intentional, but there are definitely connections.

That’s the great thing about sci-fi is that it can always be used as a metaphor for exploring social issues.

Absolutely.

How will Nia Nal be challenged in the new season?

The theme of this season is communication, and so something Nia is struggling with the first chunk of the season is communicating with how she feels with Brainiac because they’ve been dating and they have been having communication issues. Neither of them are the best at relationships, and so this is kind of a new area for her and she’s trying to work out, “How do I express how I feel without hurting you?” And that’s something she struggles with a lot. It is being open and honest with how she’s feeling and trying not to bottle up what she is feeling for the sake of other people.

What I also really love about Nia Nal is when she puts herself out there — kind of going off the whole thing of passing — she does pass as both a human and a woman, and so she doesn’t need to put herself out there, but by doing so she empowers others. Do you also try to lead by example in your own life?

Absolutely, I recognize 100 percent as Nia and as Nicole that I have an insane amount of privilege. I’m white and, like you said, I pass and I’m on TV. And I mention that I am on TV because when we look at issues like HB2 and we look at bathroom bills and stuff like that, that is not necessarily going to affect me as someone who passes and as someone who is in Vancouver. I’m working in Vancouver, HB2 will not affect me. I am not there. But I recognize that there are issues that are affecting members of my community who don’t have the same significant platform that I do. And so it is my responsibility as a member of that community, as someone with that platform, to lift them up and to start to shine a light on issues that are affecting members of my community, even if I personally will not feel the impact of that harmful legislation.

It is important and that’s what we talk about in feminist circles. We are always talking about how can people with privilege use that privilege to lift others up, to better the situation of others who don’t have those some privileges. We ask that of men, we ask that of white people, we ask that of abled-body people, of trans women who pass. We ask that people use their privilege responsibly. And so that is what I try to do and I hope that I am succeeding. I just try to use my platform and use my voice to talk about issues that I feel matter.

Going back to “Becoming Nicole,” the book discusses “The Little Mermaid” as a metaphor for being transgender because Ariel doesn’t feel she belongs in the ocean and everyone tells her you have to be with your own people blah, blah, blah. Ariel was one of your favorite characters growing up, do you feel even at a young age you were drawn to this character because your struggle paralleled her struggle?

I guess subconsciously, yes, but on a surface level, I liked mermaids. I don’t know why I liked it so much and that’s why I say subconsciously I was drawn to it. I remember loving that more than anything else. I loved everything about her. I remember I was like, “That is what I want for myself.” I was like, “She is so beautiful, and she is so graceful,” which is not a trait that I’ve been able to replicate in my own life. I remember being so drawn to her, and I was like “Mom, Dad, that is what we are going for. That is the look.” Between her and, I’ve said it before, Storm from the X-Men. I remember watching “X-Men: The Animated Series” as as kid and she had that hair and the cape and was like “Oh, that’s drama. I love it.”

And now you have your own cape.

Well, metaphorically speaking. I don’t have a superhero cape. I feel a little cheated.

Well, maybe you can get one.

No, I have the best supersuit. It is shiny and holographic. It is awesome.

One part I really liked in “Becoming Nicole,” I think it was before you were going to enter fifth grade, you were asked what kind of story you’d tell and you said it would be this mystery/comedy/fantasy with a sassy character and a sidekick who was even sassier. If you were to write that story now what do you think it would look like?

Oh my God. Well, it would definitely have the sassy character and the sassier sidekick, because I remember growing up I was always the biggest fan of the sassy comic relief characters, which is why I tried to play that role in my own regular life, which took some getting used to. I remember in middle school people didn’t exactly get the whole me trying-to-be-funny and I think it just came across as annoying. If I was going to write that story now, I think it would absolutely be about murder that would be the mystery. The comedy that would manifest itself in probably macabre, offbeat humor about murder. And then the fantasy ... they are all vampires. I’m just describing “Bit.”

I haven’t been able to find anyway to watch “Bit” (which stars Maines as a transgender teen who falls in with four queer feminist vampires, who try to rid Los Angeles' streets of predatory men), but I am very interested in that film. What was it like making that?

It was so amazing and I hope you’ll be able to watch soon. Right now, it is making its festival rounds, and hoping someone will choose to distribute it, and we’re like, “Pay us, please!” It was so incredible. Everyone on set was amazing and our writer/director Brad Michael Elmore is the coolest dude on the planet. I was talking about using our privilege to tell stories that matter and to raise up minority voices, and that’s absolutely what he did in this situation. I know a lot of the festivals we have gone to have been feminist festivals and gay festivals, and we’ve had a significant amount of people kind of be like, “Oh, you were written by a straight cis white guy,” and we’re like,“Yeah, and he’s doing exactly what we want him to be doing, which is using his privilege to create this super awesome movie featuring queer and interracial talent, this intersectional group of feminists.” We had a female DP which how awesome is that? We had this super awesome kaleidoscope of different identities in this film and I feel like some folks are very quick to write it off because it was written by a straight cis white guy. 1) I don’t feel that is fair to Brad, and 2) I don’t think that is fair to the movie. The movie is so cool and the movie deals with such cool issues and it approaches them all in such a fucking awesome way. To write it off because of who our director is feels very shortsighted.

And obviously you wouldn’t say or do anything that felt disingenuous to your own experience.

Yes, absolutely. I was like, “Ye of little faith.”

When you were 13 years old you went to the Maine statehouse and spoke to dozens of representatives to convince them to vote against a bill that would make it legal to discriminate against trans people. Do you have any interest in getting into politics either working for a campaign or as a candidate yourself?

I think I would be willing to support someone else’s campaign. Politics are not for me. I do not have the stomach for that. I do not have the patience for that. I know where my lane is and it is absolutely not going for an elected position. I am more the person who shows up when the politicians are not doing what they are supposed to be doing. That’s when I get involved.

The big thing I took away from “Becoming Nicole” was that prejudice and hate is something that is taught, because the boy who started harassing you the most was told by his grandfather that you were wrong and that he should go after you. And so I guess the question is, what do you do to undo these wrongheaded lessons that are passed down by parents or grandparents?

I think the first step comes from within. You cannot make anybody do anything. You cannot make somebody unlearn hate and prejudice. That journey has to start with themselves. With my father — and, of course, he was never outwardly hateful or anything, I always knew he loved me — but his journey to acceptance started with him deciding to pick up Jennifer Finney Boylan’s book (about being a transgender woman) and read it. He had to ask himself what he was so afraid of if his son was his daughter. He had to ask himself what about that terrified him so much. And that’s what every person has to do.

Every person has to be aware of their own prejudices and their own biases. We all have them. We have to be aware of them. We have to actively work to undo them because it is something we are taught, not even just by our parents or caretakers, but through television and society. We are pumped full of biases and prejudices that we are not even aware of, and so we have to pay extra care and extra caution to do undo those. And when we catch ourselves, we have to recognize, “No, that’s not right” and go from there.

It has to be a conscious choice, and so that is hard. It is a hard thing to do. It is a really gross feeling to try to unlearn stuff like that, and so a lot of people won’t do that because a lot of people are more comfortable being like, “No, I don’t get it, that’s gross, I don’t like it and I’m going to hate it.” That is much easier and much more comfortable then asking yourself what you are afraid of. As socially responsible participants in the community, we have a responsibility to ask that question anyway. All of us have to ask that question and not just about trans issues, because if we don’t do that, if we are looking for what is easy and what is comfortable at the expense of other people, then stay inside.

And I feel like the biggest thing is if you’re afraid of a gay person or trans person or black, Hispanic, whatever social issue, if you actually talk to these people that you are afraid of, that you’d see that they are just human beings.

That is the number one thing. It is so much easier to marginalize a group of people when you are not putting names to faces, when we are not putting faces to groups, when you are dehumanizing them. It is so much easier to sweep their plights under the rug and be like, “Oh, they don’t matter,” because you are not talking to them, you’re not seeing them as people. That’s why I always say, “Come say it to my face.” It is so much harder to be an asshole to someone’s face because you have to look them in the eye and tell them their rights don’t matter.

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