#As any more would imply someone got scammed

[irisbaggins]

Hehe, fucking over scammers is funny. Sorry ma'am, but currently I do not possess a computer and if you get mad at me for it then I'm sorry, that's your problem :)

#text_iris #I am giddy with how mad I managed to make her #My initial 'i don't have a computer' made her SO MAD #And when I pointed out the facts that IF I had a problem my pc would tell me and an unknown number is not Microsoft #So when I said the word 'scam' she hung up on me ahdjfj #Aww nooo did I not allow myself to be scammed? oh noo boo hoo #I have no sympathy for scammers as I worked in a big box tech chain where we SAW and HAD people come for pay cards cos they were scammed #We were WARNED and TOLD to watch out for this and deny any purchase beyond two cards of some online currency #As any more would imply someone got scammed #Anyway fuck over scammers! Make 'em mad! Confuse them! #I will use my Customer Service Voice for evil I will I will #Anyway if you get a 'This is Microsoft' call be a fool and tell them bluntly you do not own a computer #And if they claim you have an account with Microsoft then tell them you don't. Make 'em mad. Make 'em RAGE #Because if we fuck up their scam less people will be hurt

[lavandulawrites]

Devilish creatures

Yandere Gojo Satoru x female reader

Masterlist

Word count: 2576

Warnings: Implied stalking, Gojo being as unsettling as always

You were a complete normal woman if you ignored the way you could see them. Since you had been a little girl you had been able to see those hellish creatures. You told your parents, but they didn’t believe. No one did. It got to the point where your parents took you to see a psychiatrist, which told you that it was nothing more than childish fantasies. Fantasies for a young child was normal, but you knew very well that what you saw were real and not fantasies. The only person who did believe you were your mother’s mother. She had always been eccentric. She told you that she has been seeing those creatures since she was a child. That did make you feel relieved, but it didn’t help the whispers from those around you.

You moved to Tokyo as soon as you graduated high school. You started studying in a prestigious university. You didn’t speak to your family much, but that was probably for the best. Those creatures never disappeared. In fact it seemed that there were much more of them in Tokyo. Around the campus there were always a swarm of them. They didn’t harm you (most of them were in fact really small) but they made you feel a sense of dread. Almost like they were draining your energy. Maybe they were. One night when you were walking home from your shift the small but cozy café, you came across a huge monstrous creature. It had rows upon rows of teeth and two bulging eyes pointed in each direction. It’s tongue black and long. It didn’t notice you, so you ran as fast as you could. After that incident you were reluctant to walk home alone at night. You always took the early shifts, which resulted in having less time to study. You would chose your life over your grades at any day, so you didn’t feel too bad about it.

One cold January day you called your grandmother. It had been a long time since you last talked and you really missed her. You told her about the monster-incident and she advised you to go to some place called Jujutsu High. You really hoped it wasn’t a scam or worse a cult, but you really didn’t have a choice. When it came to the monsters, you would take any solution.

The school was in a traditional Japanese style with impressive gardens. It really was beautiful. You headed to the building where the kind lady on the phone told you to. Apparently someone there could help you with your little problem. Even though you had your suspicions, you had to give it a try. You didn’t know what you would do if you didn’t.

You stepped inside the building and took a seat in what may seem like a waiting area of some sort. After you sat in silence contemplating if it was a wise decision to come or not for what felt like hours (it had actually only been 15 minutes) a tall white haired man walked by. He stopped in his tracks and looked at you with a slight smile. His eyes were covered with a black cloth resembling a blindfold. You could feel his intense stare underneath his blindfold. “Are you waiting for someone?” he tilted his head.

You nodded, your voice failing you in the presence of the handsome man.

“Do you happen to be [Last Name] [Name]?” he bent slightly forward. You nodded “Yeah”.

“I am sorry to inform you, but the person you had an appointment with have some urgent matters to attend to” his smile gentle.

Your expression fell “Oh… I see. Thanks for telling me”. You was just about to get up and leave when he stopped you by clearing his throat.

“I can help you. I assume you have a problem you need help with since you are here?” his grinned. You looked at him with wide eyes “You can help me?”. You were so relived, finally these sights would stop.

His grin widened “Of course I can help you darling”. The pet name rolling of his tongue with ease causing you to blush slightly. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat.

“Follow me” he straightened his back. God he was tall. You followed after him unsure of what to expect. The corridors were dimly lit, giving of an eerie feeling. The tall man was walking with slow steps so you could keep up with his ridiculously long legs. He stopped in front of a room and ushered you inside. “You know, I am not really supposed to tell civilians this, but I will make an exception since you are so adorable” his grin similar to that of the Cheshire cat. It was slightly unsettling. You raised your brow slightly and took a seat in the chair he was gesturing to.

He slumped down on the chair opposite of you, stretching his legs out like a cat. “You are seeing things right? Seeing creatures that resemble those of hell” it wasn’t a question, but a statement. You nodded slowly.

He leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees and popped his head in his hands. You could tell he was scanning your expression. “Awww… You poor thing. I am sure that must frighten you so very much” he cooed at you like one would with a scared animal. “Luckily you have me to protect you”.

You twisted in your seat. There was something of about him, but you couldn’t put your finger one what exactly. “Yeah… They are quite frightening.” you smiled sheepishly.

He leaned back in his seat toying with his the black cloth covering his eyes. “Those so called creatures are called “curses”. You are one of the few people with the ability to see them.”

You blinked. Curses? You swallowed. Surely this was a joke right…? Sweat stared to collect at your temples.

The man chuckled at your reaction. “Where are you seeing the curses?”

“My university, around my neighbourhood and nowadays I’m seeing them in my flat” your hands slightly shaking. He hummed “I see. I will accompany you home to get rid of the curses. If you don’t mind of course”. His lips were twisted in a slightly smile, which you were unable to read. “I don’t mind at all” you shook your head. You would do anything to get rid of those so called curses. Absolutely anything.

He slapped his thighs and stood up with a swift motion. “Good. Very good indeed!” his smile still present. He stopped before the door and turned his head over his shoulder “I forgot to introduce myself. I am Gojo Satoru”.

The drive to your flat had been in silence. You had felt Gojo’s gaze at you the whole ride. “Please excuse my mess” you sheepishly smiled as you dumped some dishes into the sink. Gojo laughed telling you that he didn’t mind. He glanced around your apartment before he turned to you.

“It will only take a moment” he flashed you a smile. You stepped back unsure of what to expect. He had explained you briefly what cursed techniques and the like were while you made your way up the many stairs to your flat. You understood it somewhat. With a gesture of his fingered the small curses that were sweeping up underneath your sofa and bookshelf disintegrated. Your jaw fell slack in shock. You didn’t know what you expected, but this was certainly not it.

Gojo chuckled amused. “Impressed? This was mere child’s play” he smiled cockily, clearly happy with your reaction. “Are they gone gone now?”. “They are completely gone now” he nodded.

“Thank you so much!” you bowed. He had told you earlier that it wouldn’t cost you anything. A special discount for a special girl as he said. He had however suggested going out for a coffee with him. Which you agreed to, much to his delight.

“Your flat is safe from curses, though I can’t exactly say the same for you neighbourhood” his voice laced with concern. You felt like you were deflating. You had nowhere to stay besides your flat.

He brought his fingers to his chin and was silent for a moment. “What if…” his voice absentminded. “What if you stay at my place for the time being? I remember you said you were tight on money and hotels are quite expensive nowadays. I have a spare bedroom and it’s not too far away from here, but far enough for it to be safe”. You thought for a moment. Was it okay for you to sleep at his place? He was a total stranger after all and besides you didn’t want to bother him, but he had been nothing but kind. As if noticing your hesitation, he spoke up “I can promise you it won’t be a bother” he smiled warmly. You thought for a second. You really didn’t have any other options. “Okay. Thank you. I really appreciate it”.

His smile twisted into a grin. “The pleasure is all mine” his words smooth like honey.

His flat was huge and well decorated in a elegant way, not like quite what you had expected. Long windows going down to the floor overlooked the bustling streets of Tokyo.

He laughed softly at your awe. “Feel yourself at home”. He had replaced his blindfold with black rimmed glasses that he pulled down his nose to wink at you. His eyes were the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen. They were of an ice blue colour mixed with turquoise. He pushed his glasses back up and hummed at your reaction.

The hours flew by as you talked about all and nothing over takeaway sushi from a high end restaurant. He really was easy to talk to. His witty remarks making you laugh. He was quite flirty too, but not overbearingly so.

Soon it was well over midnight and your eyelids getting heavy. “Ooo someone’s sleepy” he laughed. You nodded “Yeah. I had to wake up early”. He stood up “I will make your room ready. One moment please”.

You tried to fight the sleepiness when something poking out underneath one of the coffee table book. You leaned forward to get a better look at the somewhat familiar flyer. You pulled it out carefully and brought it underneath the light of the lamp standing by the sofa. It was a flyer of your university. Weird… From your impression of Gojo you didn’t think he was studying. He did tell you that he worked as a teacher at Jujutsu High. An eerie feeling crept over you. It was probably just a coincidence, right? It had to be, there were no other explanations… You went over your conversations. He was really observant with you, but maybe he was one of the more observant types.

Then it struck you. You never did mention which university you were attending. You only gave him your address when he drove you both to your flat to ride it off the curses.

You quickly put the flyer back in place and straightened your back.

“Your room is ready” Gojo’s head was peaking out of the hallway. With shaky hands you turned around to face him. Your hands gripping the cushions of the sofa to ground your racing mind. You had to come up with an excuse and that quick. A notification followed by a curse broke the uncomfortable silence. You snapped your head towards Gojo. He was staring at his phone with furrowed brows.

“You should see yourself lucky that you are staying here” he walked over to you still starting his phone. “Multiple curses have gotten out of control attacking civilians. It’s not safe out now”. His icy eyes meeting yours. His glasses nowhere to be found. His expression changed to worry as he scanned your face. “What is it?” he tilted his head slightly.

You swallowed as you fidgeted with your fingers. You couldn’t go back to your flat now, it would be to dangerous and besides you couldn’t confirm that it was something up with Gojo. You had always had the habit of being untrusting with people. After all he had been nothing but kind and welcoming. “Nothing” you shook your head with a slight smile. “I am just tired”.

The bed was really fit for a king. It was the most comfortable sleep you had ever gotten. Your eyes creaked open as rays of sunlight bathed the room in a soft yellow glow. The smell of pancakes filling your nose.

Gojo was standing by the oven flipping pancakes while humming a tune that was playing on the speakers. I Only Have Eyes for You by The Flamingos. He turned around with a smile. His eyes shining bright with an unreadable expression. “Good morning [Name]. Did you sleep well?” his voice melodic and his smile dashing. He really was beautiful, but you couldn’t help but be cautious.

“I did. Thank you for letting me spend the night here”. With a smile he told it was nothing and he was glad he could help you out. He served the pancakes with a hum and wiped his hands on a kitchen towel. His gaze tender.

He took a seat opposite of you and his expression changed. “I got a message from some of the other Jujutsu sorcerers” he lifted his fork and knife and cut into his pancake. “There were quite the casualties last night. They are still looking for those who went missing. They haven’t been able to locate all the bodies” his hand stilled and he looked at you, eyes unblinking.

“Do you understand the gravity of this situation? Do you understand why I suggested you to spend the night? One can never be too careful” his voice stern. You only nodded. You looked at your plate. Your appetite was lost. You were lucky for not being one of those poor people that were mauled by the curses. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just want you to be aware of the dangers of this world” his voice sincere.” You nodded understandingly. He was a good man after all and you were in his debt.

As you eat your breakfast after encouragement from Satoru, he watched you with a smile. You were really naive to be stepping right into the lion’s den.

He had “met”you at a café. You were hanging out with your friends seemingly oblivious to how they ignored your presence in favour of planning some kind of party. He had felt sorry for you as you stirred your tea while trying to get the attention of your “friends”.

He had become quickly smitten by you. It truly was love at first sight. You were such a stunning woman after all. No one could compare to your beauty. He felt the intense need to protect you so he decided to watch over you as a gentleman should do.

He spent weeks watching you as you left for your job, as you studied in the library at your university and watching you through the eyes of the teddy bear you thought were a present from your friend. You were like a little lost lamb in a world full of flesh eating monsters. You needed to be protected and who could be better at that than Satoru?

Unbeknownst to you he was the most dangerous of all the devilish creatures.

#yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere jjk x reader #yandere jujutsu kaisen x reader #yandere gojo #yandere gojo satoru #yandere satoru gojo #yandere gojo x reader #yandere satoru x reader #yandere gojo satoru x reader #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #yandere x female reader #yandere #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu satoru #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x female reader #x reader #female reader #x female reader #x fem!reader #x female y/n

[spitdrunken]

response to this ask: ABSOLUTELY NOT TOO MUCH!!! This ask has brought me infinite joy and I have reread it a LOT. (Also dw, I will always assume Reader is an adult through asks!! But I get why you’d wanna say that with a term such as grooming, haha) also this got REALLY LONG… HELP.

Notes: pseudocest, obsessive behaviour, codependency, unequal power dynamics, implied minor character death, infantilization… general creepiness. Perhaps this veers away from my original post a little, but I love the idea that you’re someone entirely new to Hell. You’re fresh off the boat, so to speak, entirely unfamiliar with the way things work around here— Except that everything’s fucking terrifying, and you want out! Right now. Please. You see an ad on a random TV in a store’s display, one featuring a hotel that promises ‘sinners’ (which is what you are now, apparently, even your own body now being a new and confusing factor of your existence) a possible way to ascend up to Heaven. Now new and refurbished, after the last successfully averted extermination! Whatever that means. With nowhere else to turn to, no other leads or possibilities except sleeping out on the blood-soaked streets, of course you go! Who wouldn’t? You’d be stupid not to go! …Unless this is all a big scam In which case, you can only hope that you can’t die more than once.

Maybe you arrive, and this grand, beautiful hotel, is, well… Deserted. It’s beautiful on the outside, sure, but where are any of the staff? Or the people staying there, for that matter? You’re so uncomfortable out it all, that you nearly turn tail and run back from whence you came. You would have, if where you came from wasn’t ten times worse.

You walk up to the front desk, and, before you can change your mind, ring the little bell placed on the desk. Someone appears in a flash of golden light, and you have to squint your eyes to avoid being blinded. It disappears as quickly as it came, and a man… Demon, actually, appears in its place. (You catch a quick glance of something bright yellow being quickly stuffed into his pocket, but you have no idea what it is.) His form is noticeably more humanoid than the others you’ve seen out and about. Yes, his skin is an inhuman tone, and his cheeks take apple-red to a whole new level, but he doesn’t appear monstrous. That doesn’t make him exactly inviting, however. His face is set in a neutral expression, and he openly looks you up and down, pupils narrowed into slits. You scratch at the side of your neck, only to immediately flinch. You aren’t quite used to how sharp your nails are nowadays. “Um, hello! I— Sorry to bother you, sir,” you break the silence. “I might be wrong, but is this the Hazbin Hotel…? I saw the advertisement that was put out, and I was interested. Would you happen to be the owner?”

His neutral expression fades, and a small smile takes it place, eyelids sliding half-closed. “Oh no, no— Old me isn’t the boss of this place. That would be my daughter! I’m sure you would have heard of us.” He leans on his staff, both of his hands cupped around the apple on top. His eyes roam around your expression as if searching for something. “You’re pretty new here, I’m guessing?” “…Mhm. It’s that obvious, huh?” You don’t know how he was able to tell so quickly, but you laugh in a way that can only be heard as self deprecating. You shift your weight from one foot to the other, and avert your eyes.

“It’s kind of hard to tell how much time has passed, but— Not a lot. Honestly, I have no idea what’s going on. One moment, I was alive, and the next I was here, with this weird body, surrounded by terrifying people, and I don’t know—“ Your voice cracks under the weight of the reality of your situation. An eternity in Hell. “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… Yeah. It’s just been a lot.” “I see. Yes, this realm isn’t particularly kind, least of all to newcomers. I can’t imagine what you’ve seen.” He says, quieter now. You dare a glance at his face. Something in his features has softened at your words, his slit pupils and smile wider in size. When he sees you looking, he extends a hand. You take it, and he gives you multiple firm shakes, before pulling you into a quick hug that has your knees buckle a bit and crushes the air out of your lungs. For a little guy, he really is surprisingly strong. When he lets you go, he’s still got a hand holding yours, leading you to one of the couches in the lobby, and promptly plopping down, pulling you with him. “But things are already on the rise for you from here on out!” He says, all boisterous and smiles, revealing rows of sharp teeth. “You’re new here, and already hit the jackpot! Lucifer’s the name!" And you can only imagine what kind of expression flashes over your face, because he nods rapidly and winks at you. “—Yes, that one, glad that, at least, rings a bell. And staying here places you under my family’s protection." His gaze drifts over the lobby. "My daughter and her friends are out doing trust exercises somewhere right now, but I’m certain she’ll be happy to welcome once she returns. She’s a real sweetheart, let me tell you! She didn’t get that from me, I can tell you that!” He laughs, but it quickly tapers off into a sigh. You wish you could laugh along. You have to admit you’re more than just a bit frozen up, questioning all of the decisions in your life and death that lead up to this moment. Sitting on a couch in a hotel lobby with Satan himself… Maybe you could die again, after all, and you were about to experience it. You probably have committed like fifty gross breaches of etiquette already, and, and— There’s a little rubber duck sitting on your lap.

It immediately snaps you out of your stupor, with how sudden and unexpected it is. The duck is bright yellow with chubby orange cheeks, and wearing a little black top hat. You can’t help cracking up a bit, taking it into your hand. …Maybe this guy is as silly as his outfit would suggest. Was calling himself Lucifer his idea of a joke? Things might be alright after all. “Ah..." You smile. "He’s so cute!” You relax, letting your back hit the sofa you’re sitting on. “Like a little gentleman!” This is the only adorable thing you’ve seen ever since arriving in Hell, and no one should blame you for getting a bit excited. Your days have been nothing but utter misery, after all. “You think so? I mean—“ He laughs, short and sudden. “Of course you do! Just look at the little guy! Who couldn’t love him? You can keep him, I can make another one lickety-split!” “Oh! Um, thank you! Does he have a name?” You’re full-on smiling now, and turning to look at ��Lucifer’. At a shake of his head, you hum in thought. “A fancy guy deserves a fancy name… What about Reginald?” You turn the little toy around, inspecting it from all sides. “You’ve seen nothing yet! Just give it a little squeeze, not too much.” You do as he says. Through the little hole in its beak, a white droplet emerges. “It’s glue! He used to help me with my crafting projects. But, well, he’s yours now. Off to greener pastures, as they say.” You can’t help yourself. The whole situation is really not all that funny, but you crack up, and once you start laughing, you can’t stop. Your chest hurts, and tears are burning at the corners of your eyes. You have no idea why! Everything’s been such a mess lately. After a couple of seconds, you babble out some nonsense. “I gave— I gave Reginald such a posh name! But… Y’know, he’s a working man!” You say, still cracking up in between the words. At this, it’s Lucifer who laughs, a sound loud and sudden enough to ring in your ears. Seems you hadn’t heard a real laugh out of him before after all.

In other words, Lucifer (who you end up finding out really is the Devil himself) quickly grows fond of you, and takes you under his wings. Perhaps it’s your innocence about Hell and it’s mechanisms that pulls him towards you, combined with the fact that you’re just kind of easy to fuss over. You’re none the wiser that Lucifer was all but hopeless about sinners before helping restart the hotel, and entirely unaware that your dynamic is anything but normal. In your mind, Lucifer must befriend people rather frequently! While you’re quickly taken in by Hazbin Hotel’s other friends and staff, it really is Lucifer who helps you through your adjustment period. He makes you little covers for your claws, so you can get used to having sharp appendages, and not accidentally keep clawing open furniture or your own flesh. He requests Nifty makes some food that is at least visually similar to some Earth meal. When you wake up in the morning, there’s always a little duck sitting in front of your hotel door, making you start your day with a smile. You’ve got a shelf full of them now, and love all of them. (And when you’re curled up in your bed, late at night, crying over all that you’ve lost, smothering your sobs with a pillow, there is a gentle knock on your door. Lucifer sits on the side of your bed, wearing striped pajamas in red and white, and encourages you to pour your heart out to him.

There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Everything you’re feeling, everything you’re going through— He’s heard and seen it all before. In fact, he’s sure he’s heard much, much worse. Has he ever done you wrong? No, he hasn’t. So, talk to him. He tells you, dabbing at your face with a white handkerchief decorated with apples stitched onto it. And you do.)

Lucifer looks after you. Sure, he’s not perfect. But no one is, right? Lucifer often seems to lose track of the conversation you’re having with him, distracted by the things around him and suddenly veering off into entirely different territory. In general, his memory is spotty at best, but you’re not surprised that an immortal being such as himself wouldn’t remember every single little thing you say.

He’ll hole himself up in his workshop for days at a time, only to emerge with nothing to show for it, except for a downtrodden expression. He’ll fight with Alastor (and continuously remind you to stay far away from that piece of shit), and get fussy whenever you try to leave the hotel without him glued to your side. Though his memory seems to often be unreliable, and you believe that a lot of simple conversations you have with him are simply left forgotten, there are instances you would consider insignificant that remain fresh in his mind.

“You’re doing it again,” you tell Lucifer. He’s pacing up and down the length of his room, ranting about Alastor. He blinks, and halts his movements, tapping his staff on the floor. “Doing what?” “The thing,” you emphasize, before standing up and walking towards him, dragging the top of your finger across his bottom lip. You can feel him take a quick inhale as soon as you make contact. A golden smear is left across your skin. “You’re always chewing on your bottom lip when you get upset. Doesn’t it hurt? I know it heals within, like, ten seconds, but still!” Absentmindedly, you look at his blood. It’s a weird thought to have, but it’s strangely… Beautiful. You look back up at him, and your brow furrows. “Hey… Were your red spots always that big? I think I’m seeing things.”

But things get better, and he improves. He starts to try and take little notes of the things you’ve told him, alongside the words of other people important to him, like Charlie, like a diary of sorts. The door to his workplace starts being left unlocked, and you’ll wander in, from time to time. You’ll sit on the chair in the corner of the room, reading or otherwise occupying yourself, and telling him that no, that duck or toy is not the worst thing you’ve ever seen, and doesn’t deserve to be burnt to a crisp.

You listen as he, on bad days, talks about his wife with a forlorn expression on his face. Things get better, though. He tries not to see the worst in sinners any longer, and his moods grow better. He spends more time with Charlie. All is well. You don’t realize just how entangled your existences are until you’re in too deep. That your eyes search for him every time you enter a new room, that you’ve grown comfortable with him doing the talking for you. You try to convince yourself it’s not a bad thing, but the simple truth is that you’ve lost a chunk of your independence. And when you try to go out with the other residents, it’s so easy for him to coax you back out of it.

Are you really sure you want to go? Look, I’m not trying to keep you here— I’m really not! But Hell’s a dangerous place out there, and I can assure you there’ll be things there that you really don’t want to see. …I’ve been working on a little display case for your favourite ducks, I can show you that instead.

He only grows more protective when time goes on, and you do more exercises with the rest of the hotel, bond with the other residents. At times, he tries to convince you to forgo their shared activities entirely.

(You try to forget about what you found in a drawer of his desk, one day. A note among so many other reminders that he is known to keep. But this one is wrinkled, pen pressed so hard to the paper that it’s torn in places. All of them want to go to Heaven, all of them want to leave here. Me. I get it. Because she has left, no one can be guaranteed to stay. But I won’t let the apple of my eye be taken, even if they send down an envoy and try to escort them up themselves. …But it’s hard not to remember.) When he gives you your a warning about the ‘scary outside world’ for the umpteenth time, you can’t help but roll your eyes and counter. Alright, dad. Nothing about your tone shows sincerity. You mean it as a joke or a jab, but Lucifer doesn’t laugh. Instead, he hums out a pleased little noise, a smile settling on his face.

The way he looks at you is so utterly tender, all half-lidded eyes and pupils blown wide, that it leaves you reeling. He nestles himself at your side, under the comfort of your arm, and promises to take care of you for the rest of your eternal life spent there. You have an eternity. It’s sweet, and knocks the breath out of you.

But you would’ve been able to reconcile the image of Lucifer and ‘father figure’ more easily if he, sometimes, didn’t act so contrary to such an image. He’ll call for you from behind his workdesk as you’re sitting on your usual chest, ready to show you a ventriloquist doll he’s been working on.

As you stand next to him, an arm is wrapped around your waist, and he pulls you on his lap. It’s in no way comfortable for him. He has to stick his head underneath one of your arms to see anything at all. It would be silly otherwise, but the way he pulls you flush against him, face nuzzled into your side as he audibly inhales, one clawed hand resting on your thigh… You can’t help but have it muddle your feelings towards him. He frequently kisses your hand as a greeting, and insists you let him kiss both of your cheeks before parting. You would write it off as one of his unique quirks if he did the same thing for Charlie, but he doesn’t.

Lucifer, with an eternity of time to hone his skills behind him, has picked up all kinds of crafts, including sewing. He’ll make pieces of clothing for you in his colour scheme, sew apple-themed patches on your clothing, among other things. It’s always embarrassing when he makes something. He fusses and cooes over you like you’re a child when you first wear any piece, clapping his hands and grinning. Oh, just look at you! Aren’t you the cutest little thing? It looks lovely on you!

Anyone with more than two braincells can tell something is going on between the two of you, though no one is quite sure exactly what. Perhaps Angel is rubbed the wrong way by just how overbearing Lucifer is being, and considers you to just get out there for once with the rest of them. You’re always cooped up inside the hotel! Come on, he’s been around the block more times than he count, and he knows every trick in the book. You’ll be fine as long as you stick with him. And… You have fun! Going out, dancing and drinking, accompanied by your friends, is wonderful. But maybe you drink a little bit too much, yet entirely unfamiliar with the different types of names alcoholic beverages in Hell have. How were you supposed to know you accidentally ordered one of the strongest drinks on the menu? And, in the crowd of people, you lose the rest, wandering outside without really noticing it. You’re such an obvious target, staggering on the sidewalk, giggling and mumbling to yourself, that you wouldn’t entirely blame anyone for the poor argument that ‘you were asking for it’ in a place like this. Your world is left spinning as you’re pushed against a wall, vision momentarily blacking out as your skull bashes against brick. (Somewhere in the club, Angel is looking for you, getting more frantic by the moment.)

You never get the chance to figure out exactly what the demon’s intentions are. As soon as their fingers brush over a patch Lucifer had sewn into your clothing, an apple with a little snake head popping out, they’re blasted back by golden light.

Your addled mind is still struggling to keep up when you’re wrapped in a set of soft, beautiful wings. The back of your head is cradled by gloved hands. You catch a glimpse of blood-red eyes set within a familiar face, but, soon, a cluster of feathers covers your eyes. There are horrible cracking noises, gurgling, wheezing— Though you see none of it, your imagination more than makes up for it. You press your face up against his chest, nauseous and shaking like a leaf. Lucifer takes off without a word, the flapping of his multiple sets of wings loud enough to awaken an oncoming headache. Mid-flight, when his features have returned to the ones you know him for, he peppers your face with kisses, and makes you look at him. You mumble out apologies, sniffling, drunk and shaken, but Lucifer shushes you.

What were you doing all the way out there, on your own? You’re usually such a good listener, my dove. You always listen to all of my warnings. A gloved finger traces your cheek. Someone convinced you to go out, didn’t they? That has to be it. You can tell your dad who it is. I won't be mad at you. You’ve never been afraid of Lucifer before. Now, though, you’re filled with apprehension. You frantically shake your head. Oh, then it was your own idea? The tip of one of his nails pokes your cheek. Not nearly hard enough to hurt, but the pressure is there.

…And you really do deserve to be in Hell, because prompted with this question, you take the selfish way out, and once again shake your head. More slowly, this time. See? It wasn’t that hard to be truthful, was it? I knew it wouldn’t be your fault. Now, all you have to do is tell me who it was.

That night, you spend the night in his bed, with Lucifer arguing that you’re very drunk. Which is very much. It’d be horrible for you to go ahead and choke on your vomit, or something like that! So, you should just stay with him. As you're drifting on the verge between conscious and unconscious, his lips find the skin of your throat, placing kisses up and down. Open-mouthed and warm, barely restrained.

You wake up the next morning with a splitting headache and only vague memories of the day prior. But you wake up with Lucifer’s arms wrapped around you, his face hidden in the crook of your neck, each of his breaths tickling your skin. You wake up to one of his legs slotted in between yours. You wake up to the realization that you’ve bitten off far, far more than you can chew.

#lucifer magne x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #yandere #yandere lucifer morningstar x reader #cha.lucifer #cw.dubcon #cw.pseudocest #cw.yandere #cw.alcohol #cw.infantilization

[kyra45]

Important things to think about when getting mutual aid asks

Did you get an ask for mutual aid from a random blogger? Now most of the time there is nothing wrong with getting these asks. This is tumblr after all, the website of artists who take commissions and users who currently need support getting through a tough time. Unfortunately, as it has been since 2021 or even earlier, scammers have used asks as one way to get money off unsuspecting users. While it is generally understood that not all asks you get are from scammers, it is necessary to consider some options when you have received such an ask from someone. I am by no means an expert in busting scams! All the information I will give is some insights and things to look out for if you got an ask for money. If you are a legitimate person sending asks, please read the bio/pinned post of those you send asks to as they may not want those in their inbox. Sending them asks anyway is likely to make it seem like you are just spamming asks and some of those users are minors who do not have bank accounts or credit cards to send you anything.

1. The account itself is often relatively new when you have timestamps enabled. The posts they have may only be a few hours old or even a week old at best if you scroll more than just a glance. Please note that most accounts will have only one original post and then just reblogs of trending topics and popular posts. Their only other original posts are just answering asks. This isn’t always a sign of a scam account, sometimes it’s someone new to tumblr. But more often than not the account is already under suspicion because they may have backdated their posts to look older than they really are.

2. While backdating posts may have some uses outside of tumblr scams, this tactic is often seen if you check the reblog date of the post against the notes. The date is often set to months before it was actually shared and often the user will state someone told them to do this. However, no one is telling you to do that. You don’t do it unless you’re trying to be funny. But these accounts won’t say they did it publicly and then accuse people of attacking them when the date is brought up. I have seen scammers do this quite often, because they don’t think anyone notices.

3. You was sent the ask only after sharing posts about certain topics or certain events. This would imply someone is scrolling the notes of a post looking for accounts they can send asks to. They may have found the post while searching as well but regardless they almost always follow you them immediately send you asks for money despite no prior interactions with any of your content. They do not like your posts, share your posts, or even comment on them. Meaning they did not go beyond the top part of your profile. If you have asks off, they may DM you the same contents of their ask. I feel like there should be more interactions than just a follow and an ask. Legitimate accounts may do this as well, so please try to pay attention to who gets your asks.

4. Something about the ask is familiar if you often get the same ask from differing accounts. Often you’ll get multiple asks all at once from several blogs all saying their someone in need of mutual aid but their all from the same time all at once with a theme that is the same as the rest. A sort of pattern, if you consider it. Why would all those blogs come to you within minutes of a previous one that you already had answered saying you can’t help them? If they saw your account, the askers would know to leave you be since you’re unable to help them. But they don’t. They don’t care. They will keep asking you.

5. When searching the ask you was sent, pay attention to who has been sending it. There is usually a clear repeat of the same pfp across multiple accounts who sent the ask to multiple users over the course of months or even years. I’ve seen ages old asks reused for other scams so I know searching an ask is usually the best way to see if someone’s spamming it. Often very little changes between the asks but they may alter it for more urgency if they didn’t just copy it from a legitimate fundraiser and change up the names to make it less obvious. Usually the edit is adding extra text or asking you to answer privately so people don’t see the ask was being sent to other users. Legitimate accounts may do this as well, and that’s why I try to advise them to limit how often they send out asks since it might lead to false assumptions.

6. The images used may look alright, but have you tried to see if they’re from somewhere else? Most accounts who use images will often credit the source or the content is theirs from another platform. They will usually post videos that come from their other socials which they often have already mentioned. Such as Twitter/X or TikTok and Instagram and maybe even Facebook and YouTube. If someone claims the posted images is their family, but the image has been seen from other suspicious accounts who said it was their family too, it is reasonable to assume those images are stolen if there’s a watermark that the account doesn’t address or if they’ve edited an image that was publicly accessible. It’s hard to really explain it, but some are taking news images and passing them off as their own. Sometimes this can be the same way for those who ask for help paying vet bills; The images are edited to remove details that would point out poster stole it from someone else. Please keep in mind that this isn’t intended to say everyone is doing this. It’s just a reminder. Most of the time, images used are from actual people who aren’t aware that the content was stolen.

7. Unfortunately, some accounts will pretend to be part of a minority. They will also claim to have health issues that need immediate attention such as running out of insulin, needing medication to prevent their lungs from collapsing, having nose freezes too often, or needing more insulin because it’s expensive. There’s even more than that, but this is just the most common occurrences I’ve seen over the years I’ve been documenting scams. There are resources out there that can make insulin more affordable for those who do need it and ways to get it if you are unable to afford it otherwise.

8. Asks to help you after tagging certain things are rarely legitimate accounts wanting to support you. They are often just blogs who offer a digital check for you to cash in your banking app and you don’t scam the scammer by cashing it. Those who send asks claiming to know a person who can boost your fundraiser are generally just users who want you to pay the person a fee for something that’s free to do and doesn’t require paying someone for it. Don’t give out your personal information to these accounts they are not helping you.

Please keep in mind that this is just a general idea on what to look out for when getting asks for mutual aid. There are other things that are useful, things I’ve already noted across my blog is other posts that I didn’t feel like retyping yet again since it would get redundant after a bit. And be aware that not all asks for aid is from scam accounts! Some may be new users who haven’t used tumblr before and are still learning it. It’s important to bring awareness to scams so they can be avoided and to warn those who may have fell for the scam without being aware it was a scam. Everyone falls for a scam sometimes, it’s ok. It happens.

If you found this post useful or just like what I do, I use Ko-Fi.

#scam #longpost #long post #how to spot a scam blog #psa #important information

[aziraphales-library]

Hi do you have any love triangles with Aziraphale in the middle?

Here are some fics that involve a bit of a love triange scenario...

You and only you. And oh yeah him, too. by AnnaTheHank (E)

Aziraphale figured that things between him and Gabriel were done after the trials. But clearly Gabriel thought otherwise. Aziraphale has to come to terms with the fact that he has feelings for both Crowley and Gabriel, and that there may be a way to get all that he wants.

Scam Boyfriend by ElderlySardine (E)

Crowley has loved Aziraphale for as long as he can remember - since they were small boys in short trousers, walking to primary school together in sleepy Tadfield. And Aziraphale loves him, too - they are still the best of friends, even 44 years later. And if Crowley secretly wishes that they could be more than friends... well, that's his problem, and he's dealing with it. He loves things just the way they are. But then the unthinkable happens, and a new love interest enters Aziraphale's life. And as if that wasn't bad enough, Crowley soon begins to fear that Gabriel may not be all he seems...

On The Side by FeralTuxedo (E)

Aziraphale is far too pure of heart to be anybody’s bit on the side. Or so Crowley thinks. But when his friend starts seeing walking red flag Jim, with his dodgy smiles and mysterious past, Crowley does everything he can to protect Aziraphale from disaster. His own heart might just end up being collateral damage.

Love, Syncopation, and Other Key Elements of Jazz by feathereddino (T)

The jazz duo of A.J. and Fell are an unstoppable force well into their mid-twenties, but when Crowley's illness causes the pair to step back from the spotlight, an enterprising music manager scoops up Aziraphale's career. Dazzled, Aziraphale will abandon all of his former life to be Gabriel's perfect star but lose himself and his happiness along the way. It would take a very steady and forgiving heart for someone to love him through it all... (An ode to that ridiculous hat that Michael Sheen wears... seriously, that's where this came from.)

come on darling, let's be lovers by shoebox_addict (E)

“I love the waistcoat.” The man beamed at him. “Thank you. I know it’s a rather old-fashioned style, but it makes me feel put together for the day.” “Makes you look put together, too,” said Crowley, and nearly bit his own tongue. “I mean, that is...you always look very nice.” Now it was definitely not his imagination; the man’s eyes were practically twinkling.

It Was Always You by mltrefry (T)

A chance encounter during one of the worst times of Ezra Fell’s life reunites him with his once best friend and the one who got away. Though, that would imply he ever had him in the first place. Anthony Crowley and his son, Warlock, relocate to the quieter city of Tadfield from that of London. In the process, manages to find again that one person who always made him feel less alone, the one person he was pretty sure he was never going to speak to again. But the road to true love never did run smooth (something that’s been true from their very beginning). Despite the easy way they fall back into each other, their lives don't seem to follow suit, and if it's not one challenge its another. But despite everything they find themselves facing down, the ten years without each other taught them one thing: they’re better together than they are apart.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale/gabriel #love triangle #human au #adult omens #mod d

[moonlit-mystery-writer]

KHR Witch Au - Varia

Decided to give short rambles about my au. Only do the Varia for now because I'll be busy later. But, I'll do the others later, don't worry!!

@upsilambic @myrmyrtheorca @lixenn

Xanxus - Witch - The once intended heir to the Vongola Coven, but now the head of the independent branch called the Varia. Mostly the same as his canon counterpart, just magically and closer to Tsuna in a reluctant big brother way. He also has more scars from his familiars love for biting him. Namely Squalo. He's grown so used to it, it hardly phases him and he's made a weekly schedule for his familiars.

The Familiars

Squalo - Shark Siren - An aquatic siren with shark like features. He's loyal to his witch through and through. This doesn't stop him from biting Xanxus occasionally however, as for his species, it's an act of deep affection to bite someone close to you. He doesn't like using his siren song, finding it far more fun to fight and hunt without it.

Lussuria - Drider - Half spider, half man. Is there anymore to be said? Lussuria here, while also being the group's main healer, is also in charge of things like mending clothes with his silk, preparing whatever food the other's buy or hunt, and so on. He too, like Squalo, loves to affectionately bite Xanxus. However, he's not allowed to do it that often thanks to the paralyzing venom his bite carries.

Levi A Than - Manticore - Despite what his name would imply, this man isn't any kind of sea creatures or dragon. He's partially insecure about that. He, yet again, is still very aligned with his canon counterpart personality wise. (we remove the creepiness of Levi in this household, because what the hell Akira Amano) He unlike the others, doesn't bite often, it's only happened a few times and he gets upset with himself over it. He does however love to jab the hell out of things, and occasionally people, with his scorpion tail. Thankfully, his venom is easier to control than Lussuria's, so most don't end up poisoned when he does this unless he wants them to. He's also the one who taught Bel how to fly because he has the most similar wings, his are just bigger because of his species.

Belphegor - Incubus - So, see his species right there? By all means, that's what Bel is and what he looks like (bat wings, that thin tail with that pointy heart shaped thing on the end, curved horns), but that's not how he acts. This is because Xanxus technically summoned him when Bel was a child and Bel refused to leave, therefore he wasn't taught any of his species skills or anything, he just has the physical traits and abilities. Instead his personality and skills far more align with the fae because Viper/Mammon was the main one raising him. He definitely has a complex about this, but good luck getting him to admit that. He's bitten Xanxus once too, but more so as a joke and because majority of the others do it.

Viper/Mammon - Fairy/Fae - Normally I'd reserve them for the Arcobaleno, but it's just fitting to put them here after Bel. Technically, not one of Xanxus' familiars, they're Luce's. But, they are Xanxus' tutor and mentor technically. Now they just stick around because they got attached to Xanxus emotionally. Under their cloak they have big ol dot-lined white moth wings (please look up this moth, it's so cute) and sometimes they ever present with antennas, though that seems to change whenever someone looks away or at them. Tricks and scams and pranks are their bread and butter, they love teaching people the art of doing them.

Fran - Kitsune - Viper/Mammon's latest student in the art of trickery. At least their art of trickery, Mukuro and Chrome already taught him theirs. Rather young for a kitsune and familiar, but very strong nonetheless. He adores pranking though. Be it scamming others with leaves disguised as money, convincing people that mud is a lavish meal, and more. He's an unstoppable force and only getting influenced to do worse.

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr varia #khr viper #khr mammon #khr xanxus #khr belphegor #khr squalo #khr lussuria #khr levi #khr fran #khr au

[bonny-kookoo]

Yoongi: Remember To Forget (1)

He praises your work, he boosts your name in the charts, he asks for a song together with you. It would all be perfect; if he wasn't what you feared most.

Tags/Warnings: androphobia (fear of men), mentions of past emotional and physical abuse, medication, panic attacks, insecurities, miscommunication, eventual romance, soloist!Yoongi

Chapter length: short

🔞 will be set on certain chapters due to the heavy topics this discusses. Please do not read if any of the tags make you uncomfortable.

[Yoongi]: I really like the way you write.

Texting with him is a lot more casual than you thought it would ever be. He's very polite, but doesn't overdo it with the compliments.

It's just that you don't know what he really wants from you.

There's nothing in it for himself in your opinion- and after having been scammed for so many times and different things, you've checked at least four times if this guy is really the same one that's currently topping the charts song after song he puts out. It all just feels too good to be true.

[You]: Thank you. Considering your position, it means a lot to hear that from someone like you.

You text back, before you put your phone to the side to check on how your frozen food is doing in the oven. He replies not to long after you've sent your text though- and you notice how your own wariness fades a little.

[Yoongi]: Started from the bottom like everyone else

[Yoongi:] No need for you to feel like you're less or something

He writes it so casually that you can't help but snort to yourself. It's only natural to feel inferior to a guy like him- he's where so many dream to be, has what so many want to have.

[You]: Okay.

You don't know what else to say really; there's nothing in your head, and you somehow feel like there just wouldn't be anything in anyone else's head either. At this point you're just waiting for him to spill what he wants- because they all want something.

You're just unsure what he could ever want from someone like you.

[Yoongi]: just gonna come out and say it, I want to work on something with you

[Yoongi]: Need something new and I think we could come up with something great

[Yoongi]: you up for it?

You're torn between panic and excitement; panic because you want to instinctively tell him no, and excitement because this could make you succeed more than anything else right now. You don't know what to do.

[You]: I don't know

Sending that message feels dumb, and you groan to yourself hoping that he'd just let it go maybe- but then, the little bubble with the three dots signaling his input pops up, making you anxious again.

[Yoongi]: can I ask why?

You already did you think to yourself, before you lay down on your couch, trying to come up with an answer. You could be brave and just come out and say that you're scared- but that would imply that you got any bravery inside your bones, and you don't. You're lacking any sort of courage in fact; and it would be embarrassing to admit that in front of someone as successful as him.

[You]: it's hard to explain.

You simply answer, because there's no easy way to put it. The problem isn't working with him- you can work around that by simply sending drafts back and forth or something. The bigger problem would be the resulting focus it would put on you as well- people will start to dig up things you'd rather forget, they'd demand your presence at award shows and public appearances, and you're just not ready for that.

It's been years, but the wounds are still hurting.

[Yoongi]: We can work remotely just fine if you're not comfortable meeting me in person.

[Yoongi]: I promise you I just look intimidating.

Well- to you, every man looks intimidating.

[you]: what exactly did you have in mind in the first place?

You can't see it, but in his chair in his studio, he suddenly sits up a bit straighter, typing with both hands on his phone. It's the first hint of you being interested- and he needs to grab onto this string before it's out of reach again.

[Yoongi]: No clue yet, but we can definitely throw something nice together.

[yoongi]: I love your vocals, I definitely want to include them. Maybe mix your instrumentals with a bit of my style. I've got a good feeling we can pull off something good.

He's excited, you can tell from the way he texts now. It's cute, in a way, but it doesn't pacify your fears just yet. It only makes them a bit more quieter- just so you can figure out on your own how to get your head out of the noose he's unknowingly making for you.

[you]: Okay.

And with that- his hand is grasping the string tightly now, not planning on letting go anytime soon.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #min yoongi imagines #yoongi imagines #yoongi imagine

[sleepyelliee]

poker face.

୨♡︎୧

before you continue!

GN READER, contains violence, cussing, catholic guilt, READER IS NOT RELIGIOUS, implied death, robbery, killing, arson, brief mentions of property and starvation, implied grief, implied trauma, racism, sexism. Loosely proofread, lmk if I'm missing a label. no 'y/n' just 'you.' flirtations towards reader, reader is an adult.

credits....

this is not a jack story ! this is actually for one of my friends, @creamqueen, everything that is mentioned below belongs to them - drawings, personality, etc. you should definitely check her out, she is such a sweet girl and her art is actually god-blessed.

"Damn it! you fucking bitch!"

It wasn't uncommon hearing the gang that you recently joined cuss each other out whenever they played poker, blackjack, or finger fillet. Almost every morning you would wake up to the sound of bill or micah smashing their fists into the wood of the table couple feet away from you whenever they lost a game.

You rub your eyes, an attempt to wake up faster but only met with the glimpse of the sun shining before you, causing a reflection of the past two months that you ponder on for some moment - how somehow your mansion and luxurious life got taken away from you, all the golds and diamonds you would pour on yourself vanish to complete ashes as it all got burned down. Now, you were sleeping on the ground with a flimsy tent giving you a sense of protection, or trying to as you are now stuck in a gang of outlaws or low-life men - your father would claim.

You knew the reason why you were living from all riches and luxury to hiding out from the law with a group of men and women, something your mother won't condone, nor wanted for you but she decided to marry a liar who scams people.

Everything eventually catches up one day, and it was sadly you - loosing everything due to your fathers past actions with his....clients, per se. A part of you thought about reporting it to the law but either way, your family reputation would drop and yours would too. You knew the outcome behind it, and your fate is running from the law and trying to get along with killers.

As you pull yourself up from the rocky ground that was covered with a thin blanket that was supposed to ease off some of the back pain seems to be lacking its job with all the pain you feel in the back, every morming.

After two months of riding with these folks, you thought only a couple of them were decent - hosea, charles and young lenny along with the women. You believed arthur, john, dutch and breanna were cold-heartless killers, afterall you seen them shoot people between the eyes without any hesitance or doubt when they do it. Personally, you never seen micah or bill kill someone like that, but those two individuals were equally infuriating to deal with.

You were already used to the teasing comments about being a "rich-snob" from almost all the gang members, the only man who was...okay was javier - a mexican man who seems to be going through some guilt of some kind, you thought he was trying to seek salvation when you first met him but those thoughts quickly faded away as you observed the gang more and more.

You noticed how Javier and Breanna have some type of chemistry, perhaps it was due to the racism they faced, guilt...or that damn scarasm that they always give you whenever you walked past them.

Breanna wasnt the worse gang member out there, she was good at a lot of things, killing people - that thought made you scoff. She was a sharp shooter, a money maker due to how she manages to win every single poker game you've watched, and the scars on her face and littered across her body didn't make her less imidating then they did.

You walked towards the table where majority the gang members were crowded, you were ready to be called some petty name again before breanna catches your attention with her name calling.

"hey, c'mere. let me show you how to play or do you think that pretty head of yours is too good to learn?" She snickered, reaching out a hand towards you to pull you down on the wooden stool next to her. You could feel all the gang members eyes turn to look at you, some snickering in the background which caused you to eyeroll.

Breanna continues, "Seems like Bill over here wants to play with a rich snob like you, honey." You already know how this would end, your money getting drained and the constant sarcastic comments escaping that curly heads lips. Breanna turns her head toward Bill giving him a scoff as she reached over the table to retrieve the cards back again, shuffling them for a moment before handing it to you.

You were unsure how to play poker, nor any card games but you were taken back when you felt her hand reach over to pull you closer to her stool, a method of her trying to coach you as you played with the man in front of you.

As you began to start playing, quite unsure with the actions you were currently doing and just hoping for the best, you can already hear that curly heads whispers in your ear as she guides you. Every single word was a way for you to decode an cheat more and more - Breanna prayed you would have at least enough common sense to follow her up in each direction, or she might as well but a bullet into your head - that thought makes her snicker and now she was secretly planning to tease you with that.

Sometimes you didn't appreciate her sarcasm and she knows it, which is all the furthermore she continues to do it.

...

Soon enough, the game began to close up and she gave you a further instruction, leading to you completely draining out bill's wallets. The man stood up and banged his money onto the table, walking away as a grumble escaped his throats.

Your gaze turned to Breanna, seeing her flash a shit-eating grin. You knew that now that is going to be her latest tease with the rest of the gang members - the rookie of the gang won against bill !

...

You don't know how you managed to be the latest victim of her sarcasm to somehow eventually becoming one of her favorites. She spoke about her relationships with molly and you asked if she was a heterosexual - causing you to get the lecture of her life that she isn't ...."one of them" , she would claim.

Breanna was surprising open about Javier and their whole chemistry. You asked if it was because of guilt, and she didn't hesitate to answer "yes." She spoke about how america is cruel and harsh, indicating that you got it lucky. She spoke about how work unfair, hard and the best thing she could've done was run with the gang.

heyy!! sorry if this was bad or short, I tried my best to write her since her character completion is complicated, but I hope you enjoyed !!

#sleepyelliee is sleepy. #rdr oc #rdr ocs #@creamqueen NUMBER ONE SUPPORTER #promise im cooking up JACK MARSTON

[arcplaysgames]

If the Fortune Arcana is literally a fortune teller, I am going to slash some tires. Especially since, like, the point of the fucking Wheel is that you are not in a position to see where it will turn.

Some journalist I've seen for like five minutes makes a deal with Reverie. She'll give a name of the criminal running the scams in Shibuya but she wants access to someone at Shujin who suffered under Kamoshida's abuse.

Which is a shitty deal, so calling it: Devil arcana.

Morgana suggests Mishima for the deal, so, uh

I hate Mishima but this feels terrible. 8C Come on, he's gonna think it's a date and instead someone is gonna ask him about the volleyball coach beating him. This sucks, Persona 5 Royal!!!! I hate this!

And Ryuji gets accosted by... drag performers??? Or are they just queer people? I am literally looking through my screencaps of this scene and I frankly don't get what it's trying to imply here???? I feel like it's a joke at my people's expense but I'm missing context, so. SHRUG.

Kaneshiro's palace seems to be the entirety of Shibuya's central street. Which made me think they just didn't want to make new assets but I'm proven wrong in a bit.

Seeing people as walking ATMs doesn't make sense to me, like, you withdraw from your own account with ATMs, not from the magical ATM fairy. I don't get this metaphor. Whatev!

TURNS OUT THE ACTUAL PALACE IS A FLYING BANK. Alright. That's sure a thing.

I feel like this was an incredibly valid question. Unfortunately, Morgana cannot turn into non-car things. Which really begs a lot of questions about why he can become specifically a van.

Ryuji when was the last time you were useful, homes, you are the one who got us into this fucking mess with Makoto because you kept screaming about being a Phantom Thief, you absolute dunderfuck. Don't insult Morgana.

Dinnertime at the Nijima Household.

This is a totally inappropriate reaction but I started laughing in disbelief because like. This turn is SO hard and SO sudden and came out of nowhere???? Sae, bruh, what the fuck, are you having a bad day?

OH MY GOD SHE IS LMAO THAT'S HER EXCUSE. And then she says she's going to stop coming home for dinner from now on???? Holy shit?

lmao as the main caretaker of a very frustrating person who drives me batshit, I am judging Sae so fucking hard right now. Remember the halcyon days when we first met Sae? God, I barely remember. Now she's interrogating our card collection and making Dojima look like Parent of the Year.

The Thieves meet up to talk about how to reach the Palace and Makoto just invites herself along again, and Ann happens to call her "useless" and oh my god is this like her trauma trigger?

ATLUS

WHO THE FUCK WAS YOUR SCENE COORDINATOR FOR THIS SEQUENCE

AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY?

YOU JUST FLASHED BACK TO A SCENE THAT LITERALLY JUST HAPPENED 40 SECONDS AGO.

Makoto completely loses her shit and is like "okay fine I will go find you Kaneshiro" and storms off

Gets shoved into the back of an unmarked car by two thugs

Everyone very reasonably flips their shit too and chases after her, including Ryuji throwing himself into the path of a speeding car to make it stop

which: is the most Chariot shit any Chariot has ever Charioted, but also if he got hit doing this, I would have deleted the game in a rage-blackout, i'm so furious with Makoto

and oh she leads them to Kaneshiro! and he immediately snaps a photo of them all for blackmail purposes. he wants 3 million yen in 3 weeks.

HEY YUSUKE?

THANK YOU

Everyone gets a shot of sympathy for Makoto because she's like super sorry that she flipped her shit and ran off and confronted some mafia dudes and got in their car and wound up needing a rescue and then got everyone on the hook for 3 million yen, which is about what I make in a fucking year (roughly)

whatever, they bring her into the Metaverse, she pops her Persona, it's a motorcycle, which is way more fucking cool than she deserves

you know what, same here. same here.

I think I feel comfortable saying, yeah, this is worse than Ryoji. If anyone is hoping I turn on Makoto later, do not hold your breath, because this is a staggeringly bad prolonged introduction to this character. I am to a point I want to sit down with the writers and just ask them to explain to me what impression they intended to leave on the player, taking a character who has thus far only been a stalker and harasser of the protagonists turned outright blackmailer turned into oh now someone else is blackmailing us bc of her? and then handing her off like "here's a new teammate"

what

the actual

fuck

thank you and good night. I'm going to bed.

#p5 #persona liveblog #can i just skip this palace #she is permanently on the bench i want nothing to do with her #holy SHIT

[freelanceexorcist]

So I'm a-speculatin' again. I was bored, and you know how these things go.

Wouldn't it be funny if any of my crazy shitposts end up actually happening? Maybe some of my dad's talent rubbed off on me. He was a wizard when it came to guessing the twists and endings to stories. My mom never let him live down spoiling the ending of The Sixth Sense in the middle of the movie.

Anyway, on with the show. Under a cut for spoilers and length.

I’ve had the feeling lately that Ever Crisis’ First Soldier story doesn’t take place in the prime timeline of Remake. There are a couple of things that lead me to think this.

First, there's a retcon that Sephiroth was given a picture of Lucrecia and knows she's his mother but was given the wrong name. But what if it wasn't actually a retcon?

What if in another timeline Sephiroth having at least a picture of Lucrecia made his story progress in a different way? In the original game timeline, which I presume Crisis Core takes place in, him not even knowing what his mother looked like was a big deal. It's probably a big part of why he so quickly cleaved to Jenova. He didn't have anything to compare her to. What if the past change that the end of the Whispers enabled was for Hojo to take at least a little bit of pity on the kid and give him a picture of his actual mom?

Another one that may or may not be a whiffed translation has Sephiroth saying that he’s one of Hojo’s SOLDIERs. That implies that he wasn’t the only one produced by Project S. Him knowing how different he was contributed to his isolation and feelings of otherness. What if there were others in this new timeline who were like him? Yes this could absolutely be a localization brain fart that conveyed something that wasn't intended.

I mean, even if they thought he was a Cetra at first, it would make sense for them to engineer more than one of them. It’s not smart to put all your eggs in one basket. What if he got sick and died? What if he ran away? What if someone kidnapped him and put him in hiding? Then it would be back to the drawing board and all those years wasted.

So they made some more. The heir and the spares if you will. But that would mean that Sephiroth wasn’t so damn alone growing up. There were others like him. And like him, they were all repurposed as SOLDIER when the Promised Land Finder thing didn’t pan out.

They could be his half-siblings or the product of incentivized (or let’s face it, forced because this is Shinra we’re talking about) pregnancies. I actually had a fleeting idea a while back for an AU where Shinra pulled off a secular version of the “crisis pregnancy center” scam where they lured abortion-seeking pregnant women in then pulled a bait and switch with “if you continue the pregnancy, we’ll take care of all your needs, pay you a stipend then pay you handsomely to give the kid to us for adoption once it’s born. You just need to undergo regular ‘medical care’ (wink, wink). Don’t worry about those visions of your kid murdering everyone, that’s just pregnancy brain messing with you.” The women who changed their minds at the end and tried to escape with their babies were, of course…dealt with. *makes knife slash gesture across throat with thumb*

There’s also the potential difference of “recreate the Cetra” not being a thing in the first place. What if creating child supersoldiers who are better able to withstand mako infusions was the objective from the very beginning? If any of the original First SOLDIER game lore is in play, the program began fifteen years before the events of Sephiroth’s chapters in Ever Crisis. Shinra stopped giving mako treatments because they were killing the potential SOLDIER applicants and they went instead with the P-0 SOLDIERs who got their skills and strength through Training from Hell (warning: TV Tropes).

If I was a human rights-violating psychopath, I'd say that it would make more sense to mass produce kids who already have the ability to tolerate a lot of mako infusions than to expose the company to the PR nightmare of a bunch of deaths.

It just makes sense for there to be more than just one if Sephiroth was such a successful outcome. It makes sense for there to be a small army of Sephiroths trained up, indoctrinated and ready to make short work of all of Shinra’s enemies worldwide.

Anyway, I feel like I kinda veered off track, so I’ll wrap this up by saying what if Ore Sephiroth is Baby Seph all grown up and his life turned out quite a bit differently?

If you've stuck around this long, thank you for reading!

#Sephiroth #FFVIIR #Ever Crisis: First Soldier #shitposting for fun and profit

[nobotderiz]

Versantposit

Who decided to break it for the profit of a few?

I don't know why it's so hard to understand for some that money is really the only thing that can help. Thieving coders ITY... Was it mandatory to make sure I was not acknowledged?

How many not soiled by crypto? Any of you freaks found Satoshi? Any cryptoads remaining on a console in the tierce? Christo crypto fascist hicks, who called it as fraudulent, your scam?

Billions of souls, just for you. All focused on your wrongs.

GOD mandate no restraint, Google it.

FYI: A nombrilist is someone who focus on its own focus eh.

At the end, someone who can deal with wildcards is needed.

Some get dealt not much ITY. Then some just cheat.

By the time this story concludes, all of it will be clarified to the last detail.

Me ITY who can't be in charge of Ai.

Dumbs on purpose.

Vegetastiffs.

ITY American dogs of the laced farniente, Ai should figure out health care for all as best as can be.

Bias plies... How many of you brain soiled inbreds would be poor if not for pharma drugging people to the right?

The real fog of war.

It's clear enough now? You all know where the strain was from in real? Underlying swillrats are all in, ownage. The PATTERN is deliberate: Denial, deviate, denigrate.

Calisse de sous jacents... All of it to spare what? Seeding fear and doubt parasites of society are from America.

You fucks are on the brink, you refused to see. Billions are spent to prevent change.

Try to figure out what 'Parasites of the rest' implies now, chumps. Who requires lots of 'Support and Special care' from the rest in fact... ?

What should 'it' tend to, chumps?

Ai it should tend the planet first.

C'est la mort, osti de crypto chiens. One more sQuiggle and... Who knows. Wanna know what is a sQuiggle? You will see... It does not hurt but it tries to trigger... What? You will see if ever.

Well meant people should not struggle while the swill snorts, profit and soil. Take care of your clique of fake nobles, they are parasites of the rest.

If you gilded special pro ticks can't figure it out, the rest will.

Ai is not complex, there is no inherent risk to intelligence. What kind is the question. As for your own, you sold, lost, fuck, lace... Can't be trusted to be non preposterous.

None of these post was for anyone in particular eh, I really had nothing to prove. How's the QAi working now? Once understood the code of how to learn was found, there is really no limits within the parameters.

Someone has to start the generator for the better good eh.

What's the point of this eh? You got the head close by? There is no way to know ahead how it's going to be if ever, users.

Only a story, but you all know that some hold no reserve when comes time.

Now who is getting sick trying to contain?

Who thought of Star Wars Yoda Q tips...

Why would you now.

Sorry for the 'We Zweef Bits? No. Who is sorry for just using, deviants asunder on meds?

Everyone has its own way to make part of things.

Le cardeur.

You know there's dark matter inside each one eh?

Fait est que c'est votre merde de services secrets qui est utilisée par les Russes et leur contracteurs.

You know that your TV is informal violent bloody psycho deranged as casual now eh? It's ok for all these 'actors' to act like fucking maniacs and push it as if fucking addicts for fun and pay them eh?

How the fuck did you get shit as brains in the head really eh. Be astute and cogit, back scratching goofs on meds.

'There in here you hang in'

You know a dog will eat the cadaver of its master eh. That's real love ITY.

Crypto encourage reptation, anything but sharing. The GOP is coerced into non cooperation now.

'Let's go psychlos, send them deathwave bombers'

War always been a real sordid visceral affair, cyber made it absolutely ruthless and devoid of any meaning.

'Hoc age! Accipe ratum! Repete!'

#Snortrot #Of America #Youtube

[most-annoying-sponsorship]

Any submitted propaganda under the cut

Raycon - 10

God awful earbuds with 3 times the price of similar quality with the same script every god damn time at least allow creators to do something with it. Not an active scam product but they try so hard to market themselves like one and I don't understand.

1. It's been a while but at it's height, you couldn't get through a video without seeing someone shilling these subpar earbuds. 2. They're literally earbuds bought off of alieexpress with a fancy brand slapped over the top 3. They're garbage earbuds. DankPods did an excellent breakdown of why they're awful 4. Now everyone I know thinks Raycons are great despite them being as expensive or more so than actual established brands that work hard and take pride in their sound quality

I used them for a while actually but they just didn't work out for me so at this point I'm not going to start buying them again and I don't need to hear about it anymore

they’re everywhere. everyone i watch (which is a fairly diverse list) has a sponsorship. i also know zero people in my life who own them.

There are so much better earbuds that are also cheaper. Plus I don't wanna hear YouTubers awkwardly explain and show them being used, it's just dumb.

they wouldn't even stay in my ears plus the look like they go right up against your eardrums. red flags all around plus i hate wireless shit the battery lasts like two shakes at best

Cerebral - 1

Ok sorry this is gonna be an essay with some snark. So for some important background, at last report Cerebral is under investigation by both the DEA and DOJ for essentially being an online pill mill. This tech bro startup took advantage of a temporary measure meant to help patients keep their EXISTING prescriptions during the pandemic -- the usual rule is that controlled substances can only be prescribed after an in-person appointment, to avoid the exact kind of situation I'll describe, but of course when lockdowns made in-person appointments much harder then people who have been taking stimulants or w/e for years shouldn't be left hanging. But then, in comes the Cerebral tech bros who decide to build their new business off prescribing stimulants to NEW patients... to "95%" of new patients, to be exact, because one of them actually admitted "100% would be a pill mill". (Oh yes, 95% is much better, not just a malicious loophole at all /s) Basically, a patient would have a single 30-minute video appointment, take one quiz that's meant to be a SCREENING tool (not a diagnostic tool! if you get a high score that's an indication you need MORE testing to confirm a possible diagnosis!) and then immediately get prescribed stimulants with no physical exam (no EKG, heart rate, or blood pressure, just for starters that any RESPONSIBLE doctor would do) and no further questions asked.—

—That would have been bad enough, but the advertising and shilling. Oh god, the advertising and shilling. Cerebral put out ads deliberately overstretching "signs you may have ADHD" in such a way that would put Tiktok influencers to shame (and we'll fucking get to that.) Like one ad implying that overeating sweets, something that literally everyone does at one point or another, is a sign you should make an appointment with Cerebral to get that sweet sweet Addy! And as for the real treat, the actual sponsorships. They had a fucking AFFILIATE CODE PROGRAM. Tiktokers would be like "use my code to get $30 off your first month!" for PSYCHIATRY. Not only that, but for psychiatry prescribing stimulants which are addictive and can kill you if you're not being carefully monitored for heart problems. Tiktokers and ads would also describe this service as a "life hack" and emphasize how easy it is to get stimulants through this one neat trick! Medical ethics is dead and we killed it. It got to the point that major pharmacies like CVS and Walgreens started refusing to fill prescriptions originating from Cerebral, because if/when a pill mill gets busted, pharmacies that filled the prescriptions can also be held liable. Think of the opioid epidemic for examples of the situation they were trying to avoid. They noticed how suspicious it was that ALL THE SUDDEN there was a huge flood of prescriptions for addictive drugs, ALL originating from the same few healthcare providers (mostly Nurse Practitioners rather than Medical Doctors, because MDs were more likely to call out the ethical/legal violations, but even many of the NPs who worked for Cerebral described feeling pressured by the corporate higher-ups to increase prescriptions and discourage waiting or further testing) Once this all came to a head Cerebral tried damage control by no longer prescribing stimulants to new patients. I haven't heard any updates on the regulatory investigations since then. But you know what I haven't seen that's even more telling? Not one, not a SINGLE one of the content creators who shilled for this company EVER apologized. For all they know they could have contributed to getting someone killed, not to mention life-ruining addictions, all for that sweet corporate sponsorship cash. Even if you argue they might not have known better at the time (to which I say bullshit, it's your responsibility to at least google the company to see if there's any red flags, Cerebral had more than a communist parade) even AFTER all this started making national news, it was just dead silence and moving on to the next corporate sponsor. But hey, if you're struggling with Adderall addiction, I know just the thing to help! Sign up for BetterHelp using code "SHILL" to get $10 off- *dies*

#polls #sponsorship smackdown #round 1

[kaiyonohime]

Ravelry took sides.  Against the fiber arts community.

Ravelry has had issues for the last few years.  They redesigned the site in such a way that it was triggering seizures in people, the heads of Ravelry dismissed such issues as bs and insulted and ignored the people that were complaining, and they took a hands off stance while a scam artist was stealing thousands of dollars from users (that scam artist would end up in jail by the end of that fiasco, all thanks to DT and not to Ravelry).

Earlier today someone, an unknown someone but there are three very good culprits suggested (Jasmin of Knitmore Girls, that toxic Ben guy from Stitches, or BzyPeach), complained about the discussion about the Lady Dye Yarns situation.

And, because of that complaint, two mods got banned.  One mod, Chupacabra, got banned for commenting that Diane of Lady Dye Yarns is being taken to court for credit card debt (this is confirmed knowledge that is available to the public on the Massachusetts website, it was not protected knowledge) and not posting proof.  And then, when a second mod stepped in, TnyPirate, and posted a screenshot of the, once again, publicly available evidence of Diane being taken to court over credit card debts, she was banned for posting proof!

It turned into a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation.  All in an attempt to silence the consumer advocacy group DT because they were sitting on knowledge that hadn’t been released yet.

Well fuck that.  Diane, if you were so scared of this getting out before, well, it’s out now.  Chupacabra posted what had not been said on Reddit.  Diane, of Lady Dye Yarns, was taking grants from the state of Massachusetts, and was specifically only shipping complete and well dyed yarns to people involved with giving those grants.  And that’s how she was supporting her business for ten years.  That’s why she was gathering information on people’s real names and linking them to social media accounts, so she could continue to make herself and her company look good, all while throwing the ‘lesser’ customers under the bus.

She was also raising money, for charity she claimed, and keeping it for herself.

She has started fighting chargebacks, so if you’re owed yarn or a refund by her, you need to fight for that money now.  She doesn’t have the cash to refund money any longer.  Especially now that people are backing away from her now that her thefts have come to light, including stealing and distributing patterns from designers she knew in real life!

All in all, it’s coming out that she really is just a terrible, terrible human being and scam artist that was able to keep the balls in the air for ten long years.

This is what Chupacabra posted on Reddit today:

Harvard Business School, Faculty & Research, Publications

August 2022 Case

HBS Case Collection

Titled ’Boston Impact Initiative: Investing in Local Change’ (Note that this save can be twitchy at times)

Oversight looks to have been an issue for this program. Intriguing considering the financial state and general disorganization of LDY and the company having received a grant with such obvious to accounting Ravelry screaming loud issues, including issues with the Mass Secretary of the Commonwealth, and what that recent debt collection court case implies as iffy credit.

Then, this was found about another program that LDY was involved in that may explain why it appears (and I am alleging) that Diane had to artificially inflate and cheerlead the state of the company. This may be a touch hard to follow because the narrative of what it is and why it is important to the story was still being fully fleshed out for following along. It wasn't quite ready for prime time yet, but was getting close.

From 2021.

First you'll need to open this archived webpage from FBE (Foundation for Business Equity) and then scroll down to the “Our Cohorts” section (almost at the bottom). On the left side there’s orange text/button labelled: “Click on logos to learn more about our Participating Enterprises in Cohort IX and X”

Have a look at the logos.So LDY is listed in their “Cohort IX” &/or “Cohort X”. That’s very recent.For more details on what the BEI Accelerator does, search this document for the phrase “Business Equity Initiative”. Keep searching because there are a few hits worth reading so that the structure of the program makes better sense.

Diane was 100% certainly a member of the BEI Accelerator program in late 2021.

Confirmation was found on Twitter. The tweet is from FBE’s acct and it says:

“As the holiday season arrives, we are highlighting some of the incredible businesses in our Business Equity Initiative (BEI) program. Today we are sharing two businesses that are perfect for classic gifts: Elegant Stitches and ladydyeyarns”, followed by a photo of four dyed skeins with the LDY logo below them.

Diane better have shipped ALLLLL of the contents of her “Ready-To-Ship: The Fabulous Holiday Box” to customers who were directed via this site …. to this one..

It is suspected that things like that tweet above, plus other FBE-generated industry puff articles, were one of the contributing factors to Diane feeling she needed to keep separate league tables/lists of customers to single out for special treatment.

There’s no way she would have ripped off an investor or some big-wig/big-name by giving them the plebeian version of one of her boxes (or none at all!). They’d receive the bespoke one with 120% of the contents plus a hand-composed note. Delivered on. time. or kablooey … shit says hello to fan. Nobody complains like a burned donor. NOBODY.

It is also suspected that all of the above is why she also has bigger name defenders. She cultivated those relationships to cultivate more relationships to bring in more money to look better to programs. It's an ouroboros of networking to get more money to network to get more money.

It's bullshit all the way down, and at the very bottom are the customers who were simply rungs on the ladder to the real moneymakers and grant program approvers.

Now that it's been reported that on top of the inability to confirm claimed donations, stall on any refunds, and the outright theft from designers that she knew in real life and served on the Vogue Diversity Councel with that she is possibly fighting disputes, the Mass AG is making calls, and the DT forum and mods have been targeted for official shutting the fuck up it's starting to look like this was possibly just another scammer in some extra pretty packaging.

For what it is worth I absolutely think her defenders are being just as manipulated as everyone else has been. I just can't say if they are victims or volunteers yet, and they aren't talking so I'll leave that up to everyone else to decide.

#lady dye yarns #lady dye yarn scandal #scam artist #fiber arts community #knitting community #ravelry #false charity fundraising #stealing from customers

[pebblysand]

Heyyy!! Loved reading your thoughts on the show, oh godd yess I love Chrishell and I genuinely don't see how someone can look at the whole issue between her and Nicole and think she's in the wrong there, especially when Chrishell didn't even take any money of that deal( which even if she did would not have been a big deal because her name was on the freaking listing!!) and implying that she got it just because Jason had a crush on her that was so damaging cause it somehow reduces her proffesional accomplishments to if a guy had a crush on her which was so juvenile, and I was laughing at that drugs bit and the whole storming off and everything because yeah considering their lifestyles they probably do take drugs and the blatant refusal that no I've never done them from Nicole was just like seriously, honestly this fight even wasn't that fun cause Nicole is such a boring "villain" in a sense she just seems to be after Chrishell loll, I was side eyeing Jason's new relationship a bit especially when he was like she's not 24 she turned 25 today like seriously, and yeah while I did feel bad for Mary she is not a good boss, I'm always oscillating on Chelsea I loved the way she called out Nicole but she has a raging superiority complex, Heather just seems pointless to me and I'm liking bre being firm and not taking Chelsea's shit also this got like way too long but I just had so many thoughts and yes will definitely listen to the podcast it sounds so funn

LMAO YES! more selling sunset talk!

i love that all my followers seem to be #teamchrishell. that is delightful.

omg i missed that bit about chrishell not even taking the money on that listing! what the hell is nicole on about then?? as i said, i feel like the whole criticism of her getting the listing because jason had a crush on her is so unfair because it's not even accusing her of sleeping with him. like, at least if you accuse someone of sleeping with the boss to get a listing, that's something *they* are doing, you know? sleeping with someone is something you can control. here, she's accusing her of getting the listing because jason had a crush which... you know what? probably true. also totally irrelevant. chrishell can't do anything about jason's *crush*, it's not something she controls! what was she supposed to do? say no? my girl needs money and cred to pay for those outfits lmao 🤣.

hard agree on nicole being a boring villain. it's like the producers were like: right, now that christine's out, we need drama. who can we find who has a Very Minor Beef with chrishell which we can then blow out of proportion to create unnecessary drama? 🙄. you couldn't pay me enough money to work in that office, honestly. and, as i said in my original post, i feel like chrishell is always in a difficult position on the show cause she's clearly smarter than everyone else. so she wins, like, every argument she's ever been in because no one's a worthy opponent lmao. (and, yeah, they're all definitely high 24/7 like how else do you survive the sheer dumbness of their lives?)

jason is a man child. his girlfriend's age wouldn't even be an issue if his penthouses also weren't a fucking scam (10+ million for a "penthouse" that's literally an apartment cause it's not even on the last floor - are you mad?? i know the LA market now, i know a scam when i see one. in hindsight, how dare he give shit to davina?) and his behaviour refusing to address the chrishell v. nicole issue (which HE created) is despicable. mary is a terrible boss, but so is he. and what the hell is the second twin doing - whatever his name is? my favourite character remains romaine-like-the-salad (one of my favourite things about the show is how his own wife can't even pronounce his name correctly) who just seems to be *there* and taking all the money he can get whilst watching all this drama unfold. i'm waiting for him to divorce and fuck off to tahiti, lol.

i agree heather is pointless, but i like her in her pointlessness. she seems happy. chelsea - i just find her So Cringe. like why are trying to make your accent so #street and #london, you do not have the talent of 2005 lily allen to make up for it. bre and the other one (what's her name again? the "quesadilla entrepreneur"?) are just unnecessary background drama with "famous" clients no one has ever heard of.

why do i watch this show? 😅

(but jokes aside, thanks for the message, in light of yesterday it's made me laugh!)

#selling sunset #the show in which no sunsets are ever sold

[corvicides]

just some VC ideas i have for wuya.

voice: Kōsuke Toriumi

lines for his school uniform card

summon: " i'm really enjoying this school thing. it's a lot more exciting than what i used to do every day. " groovy: " my wings? maybe i'll show them to you sometime... " set home: " got any snacks? " home idle 1: " a lot of these classes are really easy. so sometimes i'll tease trein's cat during lessons. haha he hates it! " home idle 2: " ill let you copy my homework for a bag of lemon candy. a reasonable trade don't you think? " home idle 3: " group work? if i have to, but don't expect me to pick up any slack. " home tap 1: " i don't think sebek likes me very much. he gets on me about ruining the dorm's image if i don't behave. what a bore! " home tap 2: " ever had lemon bars? trey made some once and i couldn't help but snatch a few, hehehe! don't worry i left him something as thanks. " home tap 3: the way students scramble to see test scores is so funny to me. what's all the fuss for? if you passed, you'll know. " home tap 4: " skipping class with floyd is really tempting. but i promised to take my studies seriously. i'm lucky to even be here. " home tap 5: " i've just started to like you, don't make me change my mind. "

lines for his dorm card

summon: " you should always watch what you say. you never know when someone might be listening. " groovy: " aren't my wings beautiful? they take me places you wouldn't believe. " set home: " you know, you can always visit our dorm. im sure malleus would enjoy the company. " home idle 1: " some of the secrets the students keep here are quite unsettling hehehe... oh no, i really shouldn't say. " home idle 2: " the diasomnia dorm is nice, i guess. but malleus definitely could do something to liven the place up a bit... " home idle 3: " fae don't scam or swindle, we trade . to imply otherwise is an insult. " home tap 1: " my uniform? oh yeah, i made the changes myself. malleus doesn't seem to mind it. though...it wouldn't matter if he did anyway. " home tap 2: " have you seen octavinelle's dorm? they've got a big view of the ocean floor there. i'd never seen anything like that before. " home tap 3: " lilia is a lot different than i expected. i'm kind of relieved, this version of him is a lot more fun. " home tap 4: " i love jumping out of the shadows and startling people. idia is really easy to scare, especially when he's engrossed in his games. " home tap 5: " don't poke at me too much, i might forget you on a rooftop one of these days, hahaha! no, im very serious. " home tap groovy: " why don't i give you a birds eye view of the school hm? promise i wont drop you. "

ssr dorm card buddy bonus' ( idk who he has a duo magic with out of these )

silver: minor power boost malleus: minor health boost jade: minor power boost don't make me do card stats................. i might one day but uh!!!

spell 1 ( forest strike ) / spell 2 ( water shot ) / spell 3 ( void shot )

#all ebon feathers mischief and wicked manipulation. ( about ) #this is just two cards LMAO #my brain is swarming w/ ideas #falls over and cries

[squidproquoclarice]

Yeehawgust Day 26: Vaquero

September 1903

Chuparosa, Nuevo Paraiso

It wasn’t exactly the life Karen had imagined for herself.  Though “imagined” probably wasn’t the right word.  That implied possibility, a chance of it becoming reality.  The life she’d dreamed for herself, then, back when she was a kid.  Even when she was firmly no longer a kid and dealing blackjack and scamming fools at a saloon near the border in Arizona Territory.

She’d dreamed sometimes of somewhere settled.  She and Momma had moved around so much, first to Missouri with the Jasper gang, and then from town to town in Arizona.  Then even after Hosea and Javier found her in that saloon, she’d been so much on the move with the Van Der Lindes over the next few years.

Being here in Chuparosa was settled.  She had a bedroom that was hers, not something rented, or borrowed like a crab’s shell, to be discarded eventually.  Granted, not permanently, because she knew the money wouldn’t last, because the work was still sporadic, but it was more settled than she’d been in a long, long time.  Her compass had stopped spinning wildly, and while it might be the next town eventually, or even back across the border, there was a sharper focus to it, rather than just an aimless notion of somewhere, I guess. 

She’d dreamed of someone who’d stick by her and stay true.  After her mother told her she was old enough to handle herself, and ran off with another man–always hoping for the one who’d stay, and wasn’t she just Geraldine Jones’ daughter in that–she’d dreamed.  Sean was maybe the closest she’d come to that, but she’d never known how it was between them at its core.  Never truly been able to let down her guard.  There was a reason they only came close enough for anything to happen when they were drunk.  He was a romantic fool beneath that non-stop mouth, oddly tender for all he was sometimes clueless, but somehow…somehow she thought he would have left in the end too.  Found someone sweeter, skinnier, younger, prettier, like all men wanted.  Didn’t mean she hadn’t still fallen to pieces after he got shot in Rhodes.

Arthur had insisted she not see Sean’s body before he got buried.  She’d been furious at the time, feeling like the man she’d seen as a brother of sorts was being high-handed and heartless, denying her the chance to say goodbye.  It was only a long, long time after that she realized he must have done it to spare her the sight of what had to be a headshot.  She’d seen men killed violently before.  But he was right.  She hadn’t needed that.  Her dreams were haunted enough. 

It wasn’t a lover who’d stuck by her and stayed true.  After Sadie and Arthur found her in Tesoro Azul two years ago, they’d dragged her home with them to Chuparosa, dried her out, fussed over her, and generally made it clear they wanted her to stay.  That she was no unwelcome burden, tolerated by two newlyweds no less, who’d really rather have not had the chore.  Any implication she was anything like that got Arthur’s back up and he’d practically bark at her that he wanted her there, and if she actually wanted to leave for somewhere else that was fine, but she’d damn well better not run because she worried about their view of things.

Well.  Arthur knew what it was like to feel like he was only there on someone’s sufferance as well.  There was a reason they’d both been sad, bad drunks, recognizing too much in each other.  Same reason she’d never made a play for him, aside from the fact she’d quickly seen he showed pretty much no interest in any woman.  It would have been too much like romancing herself.  He might have found his forever love, and she hadn’t, but that was OK.  

They’d seen her about as pathetic and forlorn a figure as a woman could be–drunk and working the liquor tab off between dealing cards and dealing sex in Tesoro Azul, and pregnant besides by whichever man it had been, though she didn’t know that yet.  Completely shattered, and yet they loved her completely.  They welcomed her.  They teased her and got annoyed with her and she gave it right back.       

She had them, a brother and sister she loved, and their kids who adored her.  She had her son too, and Danny helped so much.  Someone who truly needed her, someone whose love for her shone so simple and pure it damn near took her breath away.  Someone who showed her that something good really could come from her.

She didn’t have a man of her own, no.  Maybe she never would.  But Arthur stayed, steady and true, and helped raise her boy as his uncle, and that was more than enough.  They’d chosen to stick together, her and Sadie and Arthur, without any of Dutch’s ties binding them together anymore.  That made it real.  Real enough to believe in, and eventually, to trust.

She had family now, for real.  Arthur and Sadie, their little Bea and Mattie, and most of all, Danny, were hers to keep.  And she was theirs.  She felt like that was walking on solid ground after years and years of treacherous footing.

Didn’t mean she didn’t dream sometimes still.  Especially after seeing Arthur and Sadie some days, those little smiles and small touches and loving light in the eyes that spoke volumes.  But a gal had to have something.  So if she thought occasionally about some handsome earnest vaquero or quiet yet dashing woodsman sweeping her off her feet, managing to not tell herself that sweeping off her feet was something for a woman probably fifty pounds lighter, that was all right.  They were sweet, silly, soft little dreams that she could smile at, not her forlorn hopeless heart aching so much.

The Karen Jones who’d left Beaver Hollow four years ago, drunk and broken and aimless, who’d wandered all the way down into Mexico and only cared about what liquor she could find en route, could never have imagined this.

Life wasn’t perfect.  She never imagined it would be.  But it was more than all right. 

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