Tumgik
#Best performance with partner
yourhealthcare99 · 1 month
Text
Dominate The Male Enhancement Niche Today with Aizen Power Supplements - Health
I've always considered myself a healthy guy. I hit the gym regularly, eat a balanced diet, and maintain an active lifestyle. But let's be honest, fellas, sometimes you just want that extra boost in the bedroom. That's where Aizen Power Supplements came in for me, and let me tell you, it's been a game changer.
Tumblr media
Increased Stamina and Endurance
Before Aizen Power, those late-night escapades left me feeling drained. Don't get me wrong, I could still perform, but maintaining intensity throughout was a challenge. Since incorporating Aizen Power into my routine, I've noticed a significant increase in stamina and endurance. It's like having a second wind – I can keep up for as long as my partner desires, and that's a fantastic feeling.
Rock-Solid Confidence
There's nothing quite like the confidence boost you get from knowing you can deliver your best in bed. Aizen Power has helped me achieve that level of certainty. Performance anxiety used to be a bit of a hurdle, but with the newfound stamina and control I've experienced, those anxieties have vanished. I head into the bedroom feeling confident and ready to take charge, which makes the entire experience much more enjoyable for both me and my partner.
Natural and Safe Ingredients
One of the things I truly appreciate about Aizen Power is its focus on natural ingredients. I'm wary of artificial chemicals and potentially harmful substances, but Aizen Power uses a blend of herbs and extracts that are both safe and effective. The fact that it's a natural solution puts my mind at ease, allowing me to fully enjoy the benefits without any reservations.pen_spark
Improved Overall Performance
The benefits of Aizen Power extend far beyond just stamina and endurance. I've noticed an overall improvement in my performance as well. There's a newfound intensity that I can bring to the bedroom, and that translates into a more satisfying experience for both of us. It's like I've unlocked a whole new level of intimacy and connection.
Absolutely Recommend Aizen Power
Look, if you're looking for a safe, natural way to enhance your performance in the bedroom, then I absolutely recommend Aizen Power Supplements. It's given me the confidence, stamina, and overall performance boost I needed to truly excel. It's a great product, and I believe it can make a positive difference for any man looking to reignite the spark in his relationship. Give it a try – you won't regret it.
1 note · View note
henreyettah · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media
AUgust week 4: ballet au part 2a
The first half of the core four
111 notes · View notes
s0fter-sin · 3 months
Text
so lately i’ve been obsessed with a 141 dancer au
gaz runs classes, has a youtube channel and quickly becomes one of the most sought after choreographers in the music video scene. soap is his dance partner for his classes, he helps run them and does demonstrations with him
ghost is also a choreographer and he’s gaz’s Arch Nemesis
he's famous for never performing his routines, never doing public appearances without his skull mask and being highly exclusive with who he allows to perform his choreo which earns him his name (since he’s a ghost creator). gaz however is a social media darling, his classes and videos regularly doing huge numbers
they both popped up around the same time and are neck and neck in terms of popularity and skill and they immediately rub each other the wrong way
gaz accuses ghost of not actually choreographing his routines himself bc no one has ever seen him dance and ghost thinks gaz is a clout chaser who's just in it for the fame instead of passion
he became a dancer as a way to channel his rage after years of being an underground fighter, the discipline and physicality helping him more than fights ever did. he hates the thought of someone just using it just to get famous when it literally saved his life
deep down they know their accusations are wrong and they have a grudging appreciation for the other's talent but they'd both rather die than admit it
price is a famous dancer turned director they both work with frequently and they always fight over him; trying to get their routines picked for his music videos. he's also the only one in the industry who's ever seen the ghost perform (before he got famous and before the Incident™)
he finally gets fed up with them constantly being at each other's throats and hires them both to work together and choreograph a joint routine. they're both famous in their own right but this video is for a huge artist so neither of them can refuse no matter how much they hate the other
gaz has a gymnastics background but also a ballet background which lends him to a more fluid style whereas ghost’s style is stronger, more masculine with sharper movements so they naturally end up butting heads
then there's soap who has a completely different style altogether, focusing on a more modern, breakdancer style which makes him see everything completely differently
but it also adds to his self-doubt bc he didn't have a formal dance education, he built his entire repertoire by himself. people see him as inferior to gaz who has that very formal, highly disciplined style. his insecurities about only ever being seen as gaz's demonstration partner and that he can only do gaz’s routines so all his skill is just an extension of him instead of being seen as a dancer in his own right forces him to adopt a rigid - destructive - perfectionism in himself and his body
soap meets ghost before the first rehearsal. he gets to the studio early to practice when sees this beautiful man dancing
he has no idea who he is but he moves so seamlessly, almost better than gaz, and he immediately falls a little in love. the man catches him watching in the mirror and he flusters, getting worse as the man just smirks at him and flawlessly completes the routine
soap tries to save face and asks him to teach him the routine he's doing
the man agrees, introducing himself as simon. the style of the routine is familiar to soap but he can't focus on it when simon's hands are on his waist, guiding him through the steps; his chest pressed up against his back. they work together beautifully, picking up each other's body language and dancing together easier and better than they've ever danced with anyone
then gaz arrives and the vibe in the studio immediately changes
simon's easy confidence becomes hostility, pulling up the skull gaiter he'd let hang around his neck as he practically pushes soap behind him to square up to gaz
soap’s shocked when gaz hits back with the same energy until he realises it's the same way he acts whenever he talks about ghost and his stomach drops
he steps out from behind ghost to side with gaz and the betrayal in simon's eyes hurts more than anything he's ever felt
from there it's romeo and juliet; camp gaz versus camp ghost as they fight over every step of the choreo and soap is the poor bastard stuck in the middle
soap tries to channel that “you’re my best friend’s rival, i have to hate you,” mindset but he can’t forget the way it felt to dance with simon
and how much he wants to do it again
#my friend mimi introduced me to gymnast gaz which made me think he grew up in competitive gymnastics and left it to be a dancer#whether his family was disappointed in that decision i havent figured out yet#the Incident™️ was roba getting simon directly from the underground and manipulating him into working at his strip club where price finds h#and pulls him out when roba tries to force him into sex work too#soap earned his name for being such a clean dancer and never making mistakes during performances#which just make his insecurities worse bc now he has to live up to his new reputation as well as fight of the gazs partner image hes gotten#farah and alex are definitely team gaz and i think nikolai would be his manager#then im thinking alejandro and rudy are team ghost with laswell as his manager#then bc soap is the odd man out hes used as tie breaks when they get into arguments about what move should go next in the routine#the pressure of picking correctly and the routine being essentially on his shoulders freaking him out just as much as having to choose#between his best friend who expects him to always side with him and ghost who always has good ideas#this isnt a negative haz au btw i think it would be a good way to explore his arrogance and stubborness#hes decided ghost is his enemy and nothing can pull him away from that#(except for what eventually does but im not sure what that is yet lmao)#i want soap at some point to completely overwork himself and his bad knee swells and gets irritated and finally gives out#and its ghost who forces him to take a break and convinces him that working his body to death wont help him be a better dancer#cue tender wound care and ghost backstory as he reassures soap that he is an amazing dancer#he offers soap a no stress space at his studio if he ever wants it & gaz overhears and thinks soap is betraying him and leaving so cue angs#we’re a team. ghost team#coming out of my cage and i’ve been doing just fine.txt#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#save post#john price#cod 141#soapghost au
8 notes · View notes
lilalilan · 17 days
Text
Ahhh got harassed by a random guy at the concert after-party could y'all just fucking not
4 notes · View notes
chitaquagirl · 8 months
Text
just saw rina sawayama. feeling rly not normal abt it
11 notes · View notes
mariaantonnietta · 1 year
Text
Poor bette kane is an orphan in her own family.
7 notes · View notes
chronicowboy · 6 months
Text
funny how i'll get anxious over the tiniest of things in the world and yet the calmest i ever am is right before im about to perform in front of 50+ people
5 notes · View notes
heartvisor · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
dogengers high school episode 5: instructor ⚔️
30 notes · View notes
reenaria · 11 months
Text
currently having a queer identity crisis on this accursed holiday
#but actually. i’ve realized that like. 95% or more of my attraction to men has been comphet#i thought it wasn’t because i’ve been more or less identifying as bi since i was 11#so like. i figured if i didn’t like men at all i would’ve figured it out sooner?#it wasn’t until a couple years ago that i resolved to stop dating straight & masculine guys because i feel like i’m performing for them#and my current partner of 2.5 years is amab and socially perceived as a man but he’s bi and sees himself as ‘void of gender’#which is also the way i see him but not the way most people see him#he does get mistaken for a woman a fair ammount though. which brings us both a lot of joy lol#but anyway. my crisis is that i’ve been feeling more and more detached from the bi label because i feel like it implies attraction to men#and i’ve known for a little while now that i’m almost exclusively attracted to femininity and androgyny#and primarily attracted to women in general#like if i weren’t with my partner i would 100% be out there dating women and maybe? identifying as a lesbian#but i feel like i have no claim to that label especially with my current partner who is not a woman and is much more androgynous than fem#idk. do i keep calling myself bi? it feels like i’ve slipped away from it#i’ve been using queer a lot more lately because umbrella terms are the only thing that seem to make sense to me anymore#i know labels can be super complicated and unhelpful in some cases but i also want to know where my place is in the community ya know?#i feel so confused without a solid label and it’s causing me a lot more stress than it should#(also my partner is such a blessing and said he’d be supportive if i ever felt i needed to leave him to be with women)#(like he said ‘i’d be sad for a while but i’d still be your best friend) and i was just 🥺#this may be even longer than my last tag novel lmao i just hate the idea of putting this stuff in the body of the post#anyway if any pals/mutuals read all that and have any insight or advice i’d be curious to hear#reena.txt
4 notes · View notes
deus-ex-mona · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
aiyuu nation losing frrrrr
9 notes · View notes
Chapter 3: The Best Partner
Narrated by Nikki.
Narrator: The lamb is Jenny’s pet and travel companion. It’s got wings and can fly.
Narrator: Momo puts on fake wings and gets right into lamb mode. He’s a great practice partner!
Narrator: There’s a candy witch in the story who casts a spell on the lamb, turning it into an inanimate plushy.
Jenny: Noooooooo!
Candy Witch: If you want your beloved lamb back, you must complete a few tasks for me.
Jenny: What exactly do you want?
Candy Witch: Water from the spring in the east, honey from the woods in the west, and a rose from the garden in the north.
Narrator: Jenny agrees to travel the lands to find the three items for the candy witch and save her sweet pet.
Choose “The lamb is a plushy through the whole play?”
You: So the lamb will have to remain inanimate through the whole play?
Narrator: Yeah. So Momo has to...
Narrator: Momo has encountered the greatest challenge in his acting career: staying still.
Narrator: While scooping up spring water, I see Momo’s stiff face and posture reflected on the surface.
Nikki: It’s okay to move a bit.
Narrator: I whisper to Momo, but he rolls his eyes, as if to tell me he’s fine.
Narrator: It’s like he’s scorning me for underestimating his dedication. I quickly get back into my role.
Narrator: It gets even harder for him when I set off into the “woods.” The bushes keep tickling Momo’s body as we pass them by.
Narrator: We finally arrive at the garden in the north. The black clouds looming in the skies make daytime seem like night.
Narrator: According to the script, I should head to the depths of the garden and find a midnight rose.
Narrator: Once I pluck the flower, my outfit will be instantly dyed a bitter, brilliant black. It’s the climax of the show.
Choose either “The costume change looks magical” or “That’s a great transition.”
If “magical,” ...
You: Changing costumes in the blink of an eye... That’s just like magic!
Narrator: It’s a design I’m especially proud of.
If “transition,” ...
You: The costume change is a perfect transition between scenes!
Narrator: The visual impact can indeed be very moving.
--
Narrator: I pluck the rose, and with a sudden hiss, the dark fog we use as special effects overtakes the stage...
Narrator: The black fog smells a slight bit weird. I feel Momo trembling a bit in my arms from the offensive odor.
Narrator: As the lights snap on and the fantastical music stops, the fog dissipates. I stride out of the darkness into the spotlight...
Momo: Achoo!
Narrator: The climax is ruined by the loud sneeze.
Narrator: The whole theater falls silent. The sneeze seems to echo off the walls forever.
Narrator: The director and the other actors are all staring at us with wide eyes.
Nikki and Momo: I’m sorry, we...
Everyone: Ahahahahaha!
Momo: Huh?
Narrator: Everyone bursts out laughing and starts applauding. The director hands Momo a napkin.
Director: You worked hard! You guys should get some rest. The rehearsal can wait.
Momo: Sorry, I just couldn’t hold it in...
Nikki: We’ll do better next time.
Narrator: The director simply smiles at our words.
Director: You both did great. Momo was really into his role. And Nikki, that was the best performance I’ve ever seen from you.
Nikki: Really? Thank you!
Actor A: Still, we can just use the plushy for the Minister performance. I’ll take care of Momo.
Actor B: I’ll try to make the fog less smelly so that it won’t affect your performance.
Choose “You’ve succeeded in two challenges!”
You: You’ve succeeded in two challenges!
Narrator: Yeah, thanks to the encouragement from you and Momo. I hope I’ll do great on the Minister performance.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 4
5 notes · View notes
favroitecrime · 2 years
Text
mhm mhm i’m seeing that ricky alone time and nini alone time and clinging to the hope it’s them figuring out who they are and what they want mhm mhm. also that gina moment i’m so happy for her a summer of firsts and she deserves it.
3 notes · View notes
not-the-grave · 2 days
Text
the depth of abandonment trauma i'm discovering i have is kind of insane
#my dad was absent by choice and my mom by circumstance and i raised myself#god. that's fucked up#i saw a reel earlier about growing up with an absent mother and it just stung me to my core#all the little things i forgot. coming to her about something and i couldn't show her it. she would be napping or praying or something#and want me to leave her alone. or i would want to tell her about things and she wouldn't feel well and i would never get the chance#i asked her so many times when i was a teenager if we could do things and she was always too busy or not feeling well or forgot#or couldnt or wasnt interested. and then she would complain we never spent time together or did anything fun#she didnt go to any of my plays. or my graduation celebrations#or my choir performances. i had to drop clubs to take care of her#she would be on the phone when i needed to talk to her about things or ignore me after my dad gave me verbal beatings to sleep#and i would have to sit in the hall and cry quietly from like ages 7-10 for her to pay any attention when it got late#i had to hide food wrappers in the trash because she restricted the kind of food i could eat and did the crunchy mom food shaming thing#i didnt tell her about my friends or my life or my online world or even when i was being stalked by my ex. because she wouldn't listen#i just felt quiet and small and worthless around her. nothing was ever a big enough problem for her for it to be worth anything more than a#one-off discussion that she would forget about. all she ever talked about was my brother and she gave him so many more chances than me#i love her still. she's done a lot of good things for me and my partner#and she's learning how to be better and she tried her best with a tbi and shitty marriage and other stuff#that being said. she still doesnt feel like my mother#an aunt if anything. but i dont think i can ever really see her as my mother#because she took all my care and kindness and then left me to raise myself when i needed her. both intentionally and not#and i dont know how to forgive her for that#wow! thats therapy topics for latwer. goddamn.#vent
0 notes
moonsday5 · 8 months
Text
Unleashing the Potential: Facebook Ad Agency and Moonsday Methodology
In the ever-evolving realm of digital marketing, businesses are constantly seeking innovative ways to engage their target audience. One of the most potent tools in their arsenal is Facebook advertising, a platform with unmatched reach and targeting capabilities. However, navigating the intricacies of Facebook ad campaigns requires expertise and finesse. This is where a Facebook ad agency, armed with specialized agency accounts, steps in. In this blog, we'll delve into the world of Facebook ad agencies, the significance of agency accounts, and the revolutionary Moonsday methodology.
Tumblr media
The Power of Agency Accounts
When it comes to managing Facebook ad campaigns, having an agency account is akin to having a backstage pass to a concert. It provides a suite of tools and features tailored for agencies managing multiple ad accounts. With an agency account, a Facebook ad agency can efficiently organize, monitor, and optimize campaigns on behalf of their clients. This specialized access streamlines the process, ensuring that campaigns are executed with precision and efficiency.
Unlocking Potential with a TikTok Agency Account
As the social media landscape continues to diversify, TikTok has emerged as a formidable platform for reaching a younger and highly engaged audience. Recognizing this, forward-thinking Facebook ad agencies have expanded their horizons by incorporating TikTok into their repertoire. By integrating a TikTok agency account alongside their Facebook agency account, they offer clients a comprehensive approach to social media advertising, tapping into the vast potential of both platforms.
Moonsday: A Paradigm Shift in Advertising
At the heart of successful Facebook advertising lies a strategic approach that combines data-driven insights with creative ingenuity. This is where the Moonsday methodology takes center stage. Developed by cutting-edge agencies, Moonsday represents a holistic framework that aligns every aspect of a campaign for maximum impact.
From precise audience targeting to captivating ad creatives, Moonsday leaves no stone unturned. It's a meticulously designed blueprint for success, ensuring that every dollar invested in advertising yields the highest returns possible. By adhering to the principles of Moonsday, Facebook ad agencies catapult their clients to new heights of visibility and profitability.
Collaborative Partnership for Lasting Success
A Facebook ad agency isn't just a service provider; they're a strategic partner in a client's journey towards digital success. Through open communication, transparent reporting, and in-depth analytics, these agencies ensure that clients are not only informed but also empowered. By providing insights and recommendations, they enable clients to make informed decisions about their advertising strategies, forging a collaborative partnership for sustained growth.
Looking Ahead: The Future of Facebook Advertising
As the digital landscape continues to evolve, the role of Facebook ad agencies becomes increasingly pivotal. Armed with agency accounts and guided by the Moonsday methodology, these agencies are at the forefront of a revolution in digital advertising. They're not just managing campaigns; they're orchestrating experiences that captivate audiences and drive businesses forward.
In conclusion, the synergy between a Facebook ad agency, specialized agency accounts, and the Moonsday methodology represents a dynamic force in the world of digital marketing. It's a formula for success that's reshaping the way businesses connect with their audience, ensuring that they not only stand out but also thrive in a competitive online landscape.
0 notes
forbidden-sunlight · 17 days
Text
Tumblr media
yandere!duke with wicked stepmother!reader imagine
warnings: mentioned child abuse, fem!reader, arranged marriage, implied obsessive behavior.
Imagine being reincarnated not as the heroine of the dark romance novel that you fell asleep reading, but the male lead’s villainous stepmother. Although it would be many years before you would marry his father, and your family would get out their mountain of debt from this arranged marriage. You swore to not take out your anger on the poor child as you laid in your crib.
Just because the duke still held a candle for his first wife and the mother of the male lead, his son did not deserve such cruel treatment from a woman who would never receive any affection from her husband. Arranged marriages rarely result in mutual happiness, but there is always the possibility of creating a respectful partnership between each other. 
So that is what you will do. 
You became ambitious in your studies and etiquette lessons, making connections with other young ladies of high society as your own reputation grew. Instead of becoming known for being a spiteful and superficial noblewoman,  invitations to soirees, tea parties, and banquets arrived at your household every other day.
The Mad Dog of Macaluso became The Blossoming Flower of High Society. Despite the marriage proposals your household had received, none of the gentlemen in the Umbra Empire were as rich as Giovanni Lombardo, the grand duke and the male lead’s father. 
So, the marriage still happened; but you were not bothered by your new husband’s declaration on your wedding night that he would never have a child with you, citing that he found you unpleasant and nothing at all like his deceased wife as his tall frame towering over yours, his gray orbs glaring down at you with icy disdain. You stared at him for a moment before you smiled.
“No one can ever replace a loved one, and it is a relief to know that you do not care for me romantically, Your Grace. This is a situation that is beneficial only to my house, and the Emperor had forced you to select me because he was tired of hearing everyone talking about how his most trusted aide has refused to remarry since his wife’s passing six years ago during childbirth. Your son is your heir, so there is no need to have another child. If you would permit me, I would like to get to know him more. If you do not believe me, you can assign a servant to watch me interact with him and the rest of the staff. Is that acceptable?”
The baffled expression on the duke’s face at your words had been worth all the hard work you have placed into being a better side character that wouldn’t be killed in the novel’s third chapter. You would not disappoint him. 
You would prove to be a valuable partner and protect the male lead until it was time for you to leave the stage. 
Three years passed. You performed your duties as the duchess, overseeing the household and organizing any functions that were to be hosted in the duchy. When you weren’t doing paperwork in your private office or speaking to the head butler on how to improve the workplace and other matters, you spent time with the male lead. 
Alessandro was a sweet little darling, possessing his father’s shiny platinum silver tresses and his mother’s bright blue eyes that sparkled in delight when you praised him for doing so well in his studies with a big hug or a kiss on the cheek. He was precocious for a six-year-old, though he still could not understand why his Papa didn’t like Mama. Mama being you, even when you have had to gently correct him more than once that you are his stepmother, not his birth mother. 
“Some day when you are older, you will understand.” You said, resting your chin on top of his head as you carefully adjusted your grip around his middle. He liked to sit in your lap under the garden’s pagoda during tea time, and you saw no issue with it.  “Papa may not like me, but we love you. That will never change, and we only want the best for you.” You ran a hand through his hair, tucking a stray strand behind his ear. 
In the original work, he became obsessed with the female lead because he did not receive any love from his father and was abused by his stepmother. Her gentle demeanor, her kindness and loveliness triggered his desire to have her all to himself. He had even commissioned the construction of a human-sized golden cage so that he could keep the female lead by his side forever. 
Alessandro pouted. “But I don’t want to wait that long! Can’t you tell me now?”
You chuckled. “Good things come to those who wait, my dear. Believe it or not, being a grown-up can be hard in this big, scary world.”
“That’s impossible! Papa is super cool and can do so many things!”
“Yes, he is quite something, isn’t he? Now drink some tea or it will get cold.” 
What you did not realize at the time was that the duke had returned home early from work and went to search for you. The head maid had told him where you were, though the duke had not expected Alessandro to be with you in the garden. He heard what you said about him, and how you have come to accept that you will never be loved by him and it was not his son’s fault.  How affectionate you were with him, smiling and ruffling his hair while reminding him to pay attention to his arithmetic tutor because it was important for him to understand numbers because they were just as important as knowing all colors in a rainbow or which fork to use for salads. 
You had kept your promise to him. 
You did not demand his affections, prioritizing the duchy and his son’s wellbeing. You did not take any paramours nor spent more than the allowance you were given to shop for dresses and other accessories in the capital. You attended tea parties, and did not bring shame to his family name. You were a perfect wife. You were worthy.
Would you object to him spending time with his son as you do? Would you allow him to get close, to spoil you with gifts? Would you even consider the idea of giving Alessandro a younger sibling? It’s been too long, and he does have needs. 
Happy Mother's Day, guys~! :)
Taglist: @nunezs-stuff @imperfectbloodmoon @yandere-dark-cupid @aiimee9 @cassanderasblog @facelessfionna @ixchelhernandez4 @yourdoorisunlocked @faux-ecrivain @julietdelamare @reiivven @ghostdoodlen @persephone-kore-law @dreamlessnight @obsessedwithromance @f4turemom @pinkgoldweebgirl @yandere-writer-momo
3K notes · View notes
hyperlexichypatia · 4 months
Text
As I keep shouting into the void, pathologizers love shifting discussion about material conditions into discussion about emotional states.
I rant approximately once a week about how the brain maturity myth transmuted “Young adults are too poor to move out of their parents’ homes or have children of their own” into “Young adults are too emotionally and neurologically immature to move out of their parents’ homes or have children of their own.”
I’ve also talked about the misuse of “enabling” and “trauma” and “dopamine” .
And this is a pattern – people coin terms and concepts to describe material problems, and pathologization culture shifts them to be about problems in the brain or psyche of the person experiencing them. Now we’re talking about neurochemicals, frontal lobes, and self-esteem instead of talking about wages, wealth distribution, and civil rights. Now we can say that poor, oppressed, and exploited people are suffering from a neurological/emotional defect that makes them not know what’s best for themselves, so they don’t need or deserve rights or money.
Here are some terms that have been so horribly misused by mental health culture that we’ve almost entirely forgotten that they were originally materialist critiques.
Codependency What it originally referred to: A non-addicted person being overly “helpful” to an addicted partner or relative, often out of financial desperation. For example: Making sure your alcoholic husband gets to work in the morning (even though he’s an adult who should be responsible for himself) because if he loses his job, you’ll lose your home. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/08/opinion/codependency-addiction-recovery.html What it’s been distorted into: Being “clingy,” being “too emotionally needy,” wanting things like affection and quality time from a partner. A way of pathologizing people, especially young women, for wanting things like love and commitment in a romantic relationship.
Compulsory Heterosexuality What it originally referred to: In the 1980 in essay "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence," https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/493756 Adrienne Rich described compulsory heterosexuality as a set of social conditions that coerce women into heterosexual relationships and prioritize those relationships over relationships between women (both romantic and platonic). She also defines “lesbian” much more broadly than current discourse does, encompassing a wide variety of romantic and platonic relationships between women. While she does suggest that women who identify as heterosexual might be doing so out of unquestioned social norms, this is not the primary point she’s making. What it’s been distorted into: The patronizing, biphobic idea that lesbians somehow falsely believe themselves to be attracted to men. Part of the overall “Women don’t really know what they want or what’s good for them” theme of contemporary discourse.
Emotional Labor What it originally referred to: The implicit or explicit requirement that workers (especially women workers, especially workers in female-dominated “pink collar” jobs, especially tipped workers) perform emotional intimacy with customers, coworkers, and bosses above and beyond the actual job being done. Having to smile, be “friendly,” flirt, give the impression of genuine caring, politely accept harassment, etc. https://weld.la.psu.edu/what-is-emotional-labor/ What it’s been distorted into: Everything under the sun. Everything from housework (which we already had a term for), to tolerating the existence of disabled people, to just caring about friends the way friends do. The original intent of the concept was “It’s unreasonable to expect your waitress to care about your problems, because she’s not really your friend,” not “It’s unreasonable to expect your actual friends to care about your problems unless you pay them, because that’s emotional labor,” and certainly not “Disabled people shouldn’t be allowed to be visibly disabled in public, because witnessing a disabled person is emotional labor.” Anything that causes a person emotional distress, even if that emotional distress is rooted in the distress-haver’s bigotry (Many nominally progressive people who would rightfully reject the bigoted logic of “Seeing gay or interracial couples upsets me, which is emotional labor, so they shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public” fully accept the bigoted logic of “Seeing disabled or poor people upsets me, which is emotional labor, so they shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public”).
Battered Wife Syndrome What it originally referred to: The all-encompassing trauma and fear of escalating violence experienced by people suffering ongoing domestic abuse, sometimes resulting in the abuse victim using necessary violence in self-defense. Because domestic abuse often escalates, often to murder, this fear is entirely rational and justified. This is the reasonable, justified belief that someone who beats you, stalks you, and threatens to kill you may actually kill you.
What it’s been distorted into: Like so many of these other items, the idea that women (in this case, women who are victims of domestic violence) don’t know what’s best for themselves. I debated including this one, because “syndrome” was a wrongful framing from the beginning – a justified and rational fear of escalating violence in a situation in which escalating violence is occurring is not a “syndrome.” But the original meaning at least partially acknowledged the material conditions of escalating violence.
I’m not saying the original meanings of these terms are ones I necessarily agree with – as a cognitive liberty absolutist, I’m unsurprisingly not that enamored of either second-wave feminism or 1970s addiction discourse. And as much as I dislike what “emotional labor” has become, I accept that “Women are unfairly expected to care about other people’s feelings more than men are” is a true statement.
What I am saying is that all of these terms originally, at least partly, took material conditions into account in their usage. Subsequent usage has entirely stripped the materialist critique and fully replaced it with emotional pathologization, specifically of women. Acknowledgement that women have their choices constrained by poverty, violence, and oppression has been replaced with the idea that women don’t know what’s best for themselves and need to be coercively “helped” for their own good. Acknowledgement that working-class women experience a gender-and-class-specific form of economic exploitation has been rebranded as yet another variation of “Disabled people are burdensome for wanting to exist.”
Over and over, materialist critiques are reframed as emotional or cognitive defects of marginalized people. The next time you hear a superficially sympathetic (but actually pathologizing) argument for “Marginalized people make bad choices because…” consider stopping and asking: “Wait, who are we to assume that this person’s choices are ‘bad’? And if they are, is there something about their material conditions that constrains their options or makes the ‘bad’ choice the best available option?”
6K notes · View notes