#Best performance with partner

[yourhealthcare99]

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#Aizen Power #Supplements #wally darling #male enhancement #male sexy #male power #sex power #Increase power #Best performance with partner #Helth #Health power #first night #Marriage first night #sex medicine

[henreyettah]

AUgust week 4: ballet au part 2a

The first half of the core four

#AUgust ‘23 #AUgust ‘23 week 4 #ballet au #simon snow #henreyettart #carry on rainbow rowell #baz pitch #simon snow series #snowbaz #art #doodle #penelope bunce #this is how you lose the time war #clarification: I did not turn red into a man to make this straight. why would I do that. I’m literally gay #these are best friends doing a ballet performance of the book for a dance class they have in an AU of another fandom #these guys are not romantically involved whatsoever. they are essentially cousins #the only kind of partners they are is partners in crime (literally)

[s0fter-sin]

so lately i’ve been obsessed with a 141 dancer au

gaz runs classes, has a youtube channel and quickly becomes one of the most sought after choreographers in the music video scene. soap is his dance partner for his classes, he helps run them and does demonstrations with him

ghost is also a choreographer and he’s gaz’s Arch Nemesis

he's famous for never performing his routines, never doing public appearances without his skull mask and being highly exclusive with who he allows to perform his choreo which earns him his name (since he’s a ghost creator). gaz however is a social media darling, his classes and videos regularly doing huge numbers

they both popped up around the same time and are neck and neck in terms of popularity and skill and they immediately rub each other the wrong way

gaz accuses ghost of not actually choreographing his routines himself bc no one has ever seen him dance and ghost thinks gaz is a clout chaser who's just in it for the fame instead of passion

he became a dancer as a way to channel his rage after years of being an underground fighter, the discipline and physicality helping him more than fights ever did. he hates the thought of someone just using it just to get famous when it literally saved his life

deep down they know their accusations are wrong and they have a grudging appreciation for the other's talent but they'd both rather die than admit it

price is a famous dancer turned director they both work with frequently and they always fight over him; trying to get their routines picked for his music videos. he's also the only one in the industry who's ever seen the ghost perform (before he got famous and before the Incident™)

he finally gets fed up with them constantly being at each other's throats and hires them both to work together and choreograph a joint routine. they're both famous in their own right but this video is for a huge artist so neither of them can refuse no matter how much they hate the other

gaz has a gymnastics background but also a ballet background which lends him to a more fluid style whereas ghost’s style is stronger, more masculine with sharper movements so they naturally end up butting heads

then there's soap who has a completely different style altogether, focusing on a more modern, breakdancer style which makes him see everything completely differently

but it also adds to his self-doubt bc he didn't have a formal dance education, he built his entire repertoire by himself. people see him as inferior to gaz who has that very formal, highly disciplined style. his insecurities about only ever being seen as gaz's demonstration partner and that he can only do gaz’s routines so all his skill is just an extension of him instead of being seen as a dancer in his own right forces him to adopt a rigid - destructive - perfectionism in himself and his body

soap meets ghost before the first rehearsal. he gets to the studio early to practice when sees this beautiful man dancing

he has no idea who he is but he moves so seamlessly, almost better than gaz, and he immediately falls a little in love. the man catches him watching in the mirror and he flusters, getting worse as the man just smirks at him and flawlessly completes the routine

soap tries to save face and asks him to teach him the routine he's doing

the man agrees, introducing himself as simon. the style of the routine is familiar to soap but he can't focus on it when simon's hands are on his waist, guiding him through the steps; his chest pressed up against his back. they work together beautifully, picking up each other's body language and dancing together easier and better than they've ever danced with anyone

then gaz arrives and the vibe in the studio immediately changes

simon's easy confidence becomes hostility, pulling up the skull gaiter he'd let hang around his neck as he practically pushes soap behind him to square up to gaz

soap’s shocked when gaz hits back with the same energy until he realises it's the same way he acts whenever he talks about ghost and his stomach drops

he steps out from behind ghost to side with gaz and the betrayal in simon's eyes hurts more than anything he's ever felt

from there it's romeo and juliet; camp gaz versus camp ghost as they fight over every step of the choreo and soap is the poor bastard stuck in the middle

soap tries to channel that “you’re my best friend’s rival, i have to hate you,” mindset but he can’t forget the way it felt to dance with simon

and how much he wants to do it again

#my friend mimi introduced me to gymnast gaz which made me think he grew up in competitive gymnastics and left it to be a dancer #whether his family was disappointed in that decision i havent figured out yet #the Incident™️ was roba getting simon directly from the underground and manipulating him into working at his strip club where price finds h #and pulls him out when roba tries to force him into sex work too #soap earned his name for being such a clean dancer and never making mistakes during performances #which just make his insecurities worse bc now he has to live up to his new reputation as well as fight of the gazs partner image hes gotten #farah and alex are definitely team gaz and i think nikolai would be his manager #then im thinking alejandro and rudy are team ghost with laswell as his manager #then bc soap is the odd man out hes used as tie breaks when they get into arguments about what move should go next in the routine #the pressure of picking correctly and the routine being essentially on his shoulders freaking him out just as much as having to choose #between his best friend who expects him to always side with him and ghost who always has good ideas #this isnt a negative haz au btw i think it would be a good way to explore his arrogance and stubborness #hes decided ghost is his enemy and nothing can pull him away from that #(except for what eventually does but im not sure what that is yet lmao) #i want soap at some point to completely overwork himself and his bad knee swells and gets irritated and finally gives out #and its ghost who forces him to take a break and convinces him that working his body to death wont help him be a better dancer #cue tender wound care and ghost backstory as he reassures soap that he is an amazing dancer #he offers soap a no stress space at his studio if he ever wants it & gaz overhears and thinks soap is betraying him and leaving so cue angs #we’re a team. ghost team #coming out of my cage and i’ve been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #save post #john price #cod 141 #soapghost au

[lilalilan]

Ahhh got harassed by a random guy at the concert after-party could y'all just fucking not

#tw harassment idk what to call this #first interaction: hi you dance good and are hot #second interaction: him asking me out and me saying no #third interaction: saying im hot #fourth interaction: him asking me on a date then asking if im married #me saying I have a wife and pointedly calling my partner my wife #him going great I have two new best friends and asking for a hug and us turning him down #fifth interaction: him letting me know that he's leaving and asking me out before remembering I already said no #sixth interaction: him asking me out again before remembering I said no and saying goodbye again #last interaction: him coming to say bye to me again #me really quickly saying bye and not really giving him much attention #and him getting all upset about my not giving him attention to a friend he was with #mind you this is all happening while I'm trying to focus on watching a really cool local band perform #like this guy got upset I wasn't giving him attention during literally the last song on the set when I was just trying to enjoy the moment #fucking hell can entitled people with no respect for boundaries get the fuck away from me #I want to be nice but then people treat me weird and I don't like it #but how can I stop that while still being nice? #and is it my being nice that's the issue or do I just want to feel like I have control so that I can feel safe?

[chitaquagirl]

just saw rina sawayama. feeling rly not normal abt it

#EASILY best performer i’ve seen like the choreo oh god the choreo #also she talked abt give my love to john and the backstory to it being her queer best friend w a rly conservative family #and the mom finally acknowledging her sons long term partner by ending a phone call w send my love to john (the partner) #and she was like. we’re in utah i know sum yall are going thru this too #and i’m in the audience fighting for my LIFE to not start bawling #it was fucking dire. So so so good tho my fucking god #NOT TO MENTION. SHE IS SOO. #I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO FAINT W THE OUTFIT CHANGW FOR THIS HELL

[mariaantonnietta]

Poor bette kane is an orphan in her own family.

#bette kane #being related by blood to bruce and kate but they are distant at best #she tries with kate and somentimes kate tries back but bette always seems to be pulling all the work in connecting #and kate never regards her as a partner #not really #and this is ignoring the weird spyral stuff that confuses me about og batwoman #kathy kane are you a circus performer or a spy or a crazy villain or all of them #but she left the heroics and in spy setting it was a lie #and bette has to continue because it wasn't a lie to her #but is not a conflict that separates from her own blood family and the batfamily but just desinterest and indifference #you matter to them but just as distant family and maybe that's worse than not mattering at all #you can't even blame them #yes this tags have a bit of post #but bette kane smiles and keeps trying #that's why I like her a lot #flamebird

[chronicowboy]

funny how i'll get anxious over the tiniest of things in the world and yet the calmest i ever am is right before im about to perform in front of 50+ people

#sami rambles #literally not a single nerve this entire weekend but rn im tied up in knots about an 8 person seminar lollll #anyway it went sooooooo well #well opening night was Good had to cover for my scene partner on lines a few times but the directors said i did that really well #and my best friend got me flowers 🥺 and my flatmate bought me ice cream and it was sooo nice #the matinee was a DISASTER but there were only like 10 people in the audience and we covered all of it quite well #it was just us beating ourselves up backstage #but the closing show man... #not to say that nothing went wrong bc there were a few uhoh moments backstage but the energy and performance was IMMACULATE #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh #the vibes. they were perfect #im so sad it's over but i had so much fun and eeeeeeeeeee yeah baby!!!

[heartvisor]

dogengers high school episode 5: instructor ⚔️

#dogenblog #ryoukoooooo!! #i teared up a bit rewatching this one. lovely performances!! #mister shuraomaru is so cute here too #even immortal roaming ninja need some reassurance sometimes #remember to treasure your best friends! and your heated rivalry partner! #krtext #dogengers #edit: forgot the episode number oops

[reenaria]

currently having a queer identity crisis on this accursed holiday

#but actually. i’ve realized that like. 95% or more of my attraction to men has been comphet #i thought it wasn’t because i’ve been more or less identifying as bi since i was 11 #so like. i figured if i didn’t like men at all i would’ve figured it out sooner? #it wasn’t until a couple years ago that i resolved to stop dating straight & masculine guys because i feel like i’m performing for them #and my current partner of 2.5 years is amab and socially perceived as a man but he’s bi and sees himself as ‘void of gender’ #which is also the way i see him but not the way most people see him #he does get mistaken for a woman a fair ammount though. which brings us both a lot of joy lol #but anyway. my crisis is that i’ve been feeling more and more detached from the bi label because i feel like it implies attraction to men #and i’ve known for a little while now that i’m almost exclusively attracted to femininity and androgyny #and primarily attracted to women in general #like if i weren’t with my partner i would 100% be out there dating women and maybe? identifying as a lesbian #but i feel like i have no claim to that label especially with my current partner who is not a woman and is much more androgynous than fem #idk. do i keep calling myself bi? it feels like i’ve slipped away from it #i’ve been using queer a lot more lately because umbrella terms are the only thing that seem to make sense to me anymore #i know labels can be super complicated and unhelpful in some cases but i also want to know where my place is in the community ya know? #i feel so confused without a solid label and it’s causing me a lot more stress than it should #(also my partner is such a blessing and said he’d be supportive if i ever felt i needed to leave him to be with women) #(like he said ‘i’d be sad for a while but i’d still be your best friend) and i was just 🥺 #this may be even longer than my last tag novel lmao i just hate the idea of putting this stuff in the body of the post #anyway if any pals/mutuals read all that and have any insight or advice i’d be curious to hear #reena.txt

[deus-ex-mona]

aiyuu nation losing frrrrr

#—or so i say，buying 2 copies of the novel anyway #(c’mon hw it’s not too late to change it to being a bl👀👀👀) #(just bc it’s not outright categorised as ‘bl’ doesn’t mean that it can’t contain bl elements right~? [clings to fragile shred of hope]) #but the summary does seem kinda gay ngl #mf ‘i’m able to give the best possible performance/stand on the best possible stage because my partner’s with me’… #the odds are kinda 50/50 on lxl finally becoming canon ngl. the slowburn has gone on for long enough!!!!! #pls honeyworks im b e g g i n g pls make them canon i can’t handle stupidxstupid anymore— #watch me churn out a questionable af tl for this novel (despite like 1000 other tlers already picking up this novel) solely for kicks #it’ll prolly only be in pdf form to avoid confusion though… maybe… hmmmmmm #come to think of it… do people even like my tls? lmaoooooooooooo #oh well! this is all just for fun after all~ please direct all complaints about me to my manager [points at picture of haseo] #these tags weren’t supposed to be this long i s w e a r. tumblr yeeted my og post off into the ether the first time :( #anyways… don’t stan loserxloser. stan frusu instead👀👀👀👀 #it is suiyoubi my dudes

[shiningdesignersreflections]

Chapter 3: The Best Partner

Narrated by Nikki.

Narrator: The lamb is Jenny’s pet and travel companion. It’s got wings and can fly.

Narrator: Momo puts on fake wings and gets right into lamb mode. He’s a great practice partner!

Narrator: There’s a candy witch in the story who casts a spell on the lamb, turning it into an inanimate plushy.

Jenny: Noooooooo!

Candy Witch: If you want your beloved lamb back, you must complete a few tasks for me.

Jenny: What exactly do you want?

Candy Witch: Water from the spring in the east, honey from the woods in the west, and a rose from the garden in the north.

Narrator: Jenny agrees to travel the lands to find the three items for the candy witch and save her sweet pet.

Choose “The lamb is a plushy through the whole play?”

You: So the lamb will have to remain inanimate through the whole play?

Narrator: Yeah. So Momo has to...

Narrator: Momo has encountered the greatest challenge in his acting career: staying still.

Narrator: While scooping up spring water, I see Momo’s stiff face and posture reflected on the surface.

Nikki: It’s okay to move a bit.

Narrator: I whisper to Momo, but he rolls his eyes, as if to tell me he’s fine.

Narrator: It’s like he’s scorning me for underestimating his dedication. I quickly get back into my role.

Narrator: It gets even harder for him when I set off into the “woods.” The bushes keep tickling Momo’s body as we pass them by.

Narrator: We finally arrive at the garden in the north. The black clouds looming in the skies make daytime seem like night.

Narrator: According to the script, I should head to the depths of the garden and find a midnight rose.

Narrator: Once I pluck the flower, my outfit will be instantly dyed a bitter, brilliant black. It’s the climax of the show.

Choose either “The costume change looks magical” or “That’s a great transition.”

If “magical,” ...

You: Changing costumes in the blink of an eye... That’s just like magic!

Narrator: It’s a design I’m especially proud of.

If “transition,” ...

You: The costume change is a perfect transition between scenes!

Narrator: The visual impact can indeed be very moving.

--

Narrator: I pluck the rose, and with a sudden hiss, the dark fog we use as special effects overtakes the stage...

Narrator: The black fog smells a slight bit weird. I feel Momo trembling a bit in my arms from the offensive odor.

Narrator: As the lights snap on and the fantastical music stops, the fog dissipates. I stride out of the darkness into the spotlight...

Momo: Achoo!

Narrator: The climax is ruined by the loud sneeze.

Narrator: The whole theater falls silent. The sneeze seems to echo off the walls forever.

Narrator: The director and the other actors are all staring at us with wide eyes.

Nikki and Momo: I’m sorry, we...

Everyone: Ahahahahaha!

Momo: Huh?

Narrator: Everyone bursts out laughing and starts applauding. The director hands Momo a napkin.

Director: You worked hard! You guys should get some rest. The rehearsal can wait.

Momo: Sorry, I just couldn’t hold it in...

Nikki: We’ll do better next time.

Narrator: The director simply smiles at our words.

Director: You both did great. Momo was really into his role. And Nikki, that was the best performance I’ve ever seen from you.

Nikki: Really? Thank you!

Actor A: Still, we can just use the plushy for the Minister performance. I’ll take care of Momo.

Actor B: I’ll try to make the fog less smelly so that it won’t affect your performance.

Choose “You’ve succeeded in two challenges!”

You: You’ve succeeded in two challenges!

Narrator: Yeah, thanks to the encouragement from you and Momo. I hope I’ll do great on the Minister performance.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

#nikki #shining nikki #chapter 3 #ssr designer #transcript #december troupe #the best partner #performance #practice #challenge #candy witch #magical #costume design #flower and jenny

[favroitecrime]

mhm mhm i’m seeing that ricky alone time and nini alone time and clinging to the hope it’s them figuring out who they are and what they want mhm mhm. also that gina moment i’m so happy for her a summer of firsts and she deserves it.

#i can’t wait to see what they do with the others #also saylor looks adorable i love her #carlos is done with ricky though he’s about to have ricky deliver one of his best performances #bromance🫶🏻 #hsmtmts trailer #no love triangle though i beg let these kids stay with their respective partners for more than a semester challenge #hsmtmts

[not-the-grave]

the depth of abandonment trauma i'm discovering i have is kind of insane

#my dad was absent by choice and my mom by circumstance and i raised myself #god. that's fucked up #i saw a reel earlier about growing up with an absent mother and it just stung me to my core #all the little things i forgot. coming to her about something and i couldn't show her it. she would be napping or praying or something #and want me to leave her alone. or i would want to tell her about things and she wouldn't feel well and i would never get the chance #i asked her so many times when i was a teenager if we could do things and she was always too busy or not feeling well or forgot #or couldnt or wasnt interested. and then she would complain we never spent time together or did anything fun #she didnt go to any of my plays. or my graduation celebrations #or my choir performances. i had to drop clubs to take care of her #she would be on the phone when i needed to talk to her about things or ignore me after my dad gave me verbal beatings to sleep #and i would have to sit in the hall and cry quietly from like ages 7-10 for her to pay any attention when it got late #i had to hide food wrappers in the trash because she restricted the kind of food i could eat and did the crunchy mom food shaming thing #i didnt tell her about my friends or my life or my online world or even when i was being stalked by my ex. because she wouldn't listen #i just felt quiet and small and worthless around her. nothing was ever a big enough problem for her for it to be worth anything more than a #one-off discussion that she would forget about. all she ever talked about was my brother and she gave him so many more chances than me #i love her still. she's done a lot of good things for me and my partner #and she's learning how to be better and she tried her best with a tbi and shitty marriage and other stuff #that being said. she still doesnt feel like my mother #an aunt if anything. but i dont think i can ever really see her as my mother #because she took all my care and kindness and then left me to raise myself when i needed her. both intentionally and not #and i dont know how to forgive her for that #wow! thats therapy topics for latwer. goddamn. #vent

[moonsday5]

Unleashing the Potential: Facebook Ad Agency and Moonsday Methodology

In the ever-evolving realm of digital marketing, businesses are constantly seeking innovative ways to engage their target audience. One of the most potent tools in their arsenal is Facebook advertising, a platform with unmatched reach and targeting capabilities. However, navigating the intricacies of Facebook ad campaigns requires expertise and finesse. This is where a Facebook ad agency, armed with specialized agency accounts, steps in. In this blog, we'll delve into the world of Facebook ad agencies, the significance of agency accounts, and the revolutionary Moonsday methodology.

The Power of Agency Accounts

When it comes to managing Facebook ad campaigns, having an agency account is akin to having a backstage pass to a concert. It provides a suite of tools and features tailored for agencies managing multiple ad accounts. With an agency account, a Facebook ad agency can efficiently organize, monitor, and optimize campaigns on behalf of their clients. This specialized access streamlines the process, ensuring that campaigns are executed with precision and efficiency.

Unlocking Potential with a TikTok Agency Account

As the social media landscape continues to diversify, TikTok has emerged as a formidable platform for reaching a younger and highly engaged audience. Recognizing this, forward-thinking Facebook ad agencies have expanded their horizons by incorporating TikTok into their repertoire. By integrating a TikTok agency account alongside their Facebook agency account, they offer clients a comprehensive approach to social media advertising, tapping into the vast potential of both platforms.

Moonsday: A Paradigm Shift in Advertising

At the heart of successful Facebook advertising lies a strategic approach that combines data-driven insights with creative ingenuity. This is where the Moonsday methodology takes center stage. Developed by cutting-edge agencies, Moonsday represents a holistic framework that aligns every aspect of a campaign for maximum impact.

From precise audience targeting to captivating ad creatives, Moonsday leaves no stone unturned. It's a meticulously designed blueprint for success, ensuring that every dollar invested in advertising yields the highest returns possible. By adhering to the principles of Moonsday, Facebook ad agencies catapult their clients to new heights of visibility and profitability.

Collaborative Partnership for Lasting Success

A Facebook ad agency isn't just a service provider; they're a strategic partner in a client's journey towards digital success. Through open communication, transparent reporting, and in-depth analytics, these agencies ensure that clients are not only informed but also empowered. By providing insights and recommendations, they enable clients to make informed decisions about their advertising strategies, forging a collaborative partnership for sustained growth.

Looking Ahead: The Future of Facebook Advertising

As the digital landscape continues to evolve, the role of Facebook ad agencies becomes increasingly pivotal. Armed with agency accounts and guided by the Moonsday methodology, these agencies are at the forefront of a revolution in digital advertising. They're not just managing campaigns; they're orchestrating experiences that captivate audiences and drive businesses forward.

In conclusion, the synergy between a Facebook ad agency, specialized agency accounts, and the Moonsday methodology represents a dynamic force in the world of digital marketing. It's a formula for success that's reshaping the way businesses connect with their audience, ensuring that they not only stand out but also thrive in a competitive online landscape.

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[forbidden-sunlight]

yandere!duke with wicked stepmother!reader imagine

warnings: mentioned child abuse, fem!reader, arranged marriage, implied obsessive behavior.

Imagine being reincarnated not as the heroine of the dark romance novel that you fell asleep reading, but the male lead’s villainous stepmother. Although it would be many years before you would marry his father, and your family would get out their mountain of debt from this arranged marriage. You swore to not take out your anger on the poor child as you laid in your crib.

Just because the duke still held a candle for his first wife and the mother of the male lead, his son did not deserve such cruel treatment from a woman who would never receive any affection from her husband. Arranged marriages rarely result in mutual happiness, but there is always the possibility of creating a respectful partnership between each other. 

So that is what you will do. 

You became ambitious in your studies and etiquette lessons, making connections with other young ladies of high society as your own reputation grew. Instead of becoming known for being a spiteful and superficial noblewoman,  invitations to soirees, tea parties, and banquets arrived at your household every other day.

The Mad Dog of Macaluso became The Blossoming Flower of High Society. Despite the marriage proposals your household had received, none of the gentlemen in the Umbra Empire were as rich as Giovanni Lombardo, the grand duke and the male lead’s father. 

So, the marriage still happened; but you were not bothered by your new husband’s declaration on your wedding night that he would never have a child with you, citing that he found you unpleasant and nothing at all like his deceased wife as his tall frame towering over yours, his gray orbs glaring down at you with icy disdain. You stared at him for a moment before you smiled.

“No one can ever replace a loved one, and it is a relief to know that you do not care for me romantically, Your Grace. This is a situation that is beneficial only to my house, and the Emperor had forced you to select me because he was tired of hearing everyone talking about how his most trusted aide has refused to remarry since his wife’s passing six years ago during childbirth. Your son is your heir, so there is no need to have another child. If you would permit me, I would like to get to know him more. If you do not believe me, you can assign a servant to watch me interact with him and the rest of the staff. Is that acceptable?”

The baffled expression on the duke’s face at your words had been worth all the hard work you have placed into being a better side character that wouldn’t be killed in the novel’s third chapter. You would not disappoint him. 

You would prove to be a valuable partner and protect the male lead until it was time for you to leave the stage. 

Three years passed. You performed your duties as the duchess, overseeing the household and organizing any functions that were to be hosted in the duchy. When you weren’t doing paperwork in your private office or speaking to the head butler on how to improve the workplace and other matters, you spent time with the male lead. 

Alessandro was a sweet little darling, possessing his father’s shiny platinum silver tresses and his mother’s bright blue eyes that sparkled in delight when you praised him for doing so well in his studies with a big hug or a kiss on the cheek. He was precocious for a six-year-old, though he still could not understand why his Papa didn’t like Mama. Mama being you, even when you have had to gently correct him more than once that you are his stepmother, not his birth mother. 

“Some day when you are older, you will understand.” You said, resting your chin on top of his head as you carefully adjusted your grip around his middle. He liked to sit in your lap under the garden’s pagoda during tea time, and you saw no issue with it.  “Papa may not like me, but we love you. That will never change, and we only want the best for you.” You ran a hand through his hair, tucking a stray strand behind his ear. 

In the original work, he became obsessed with the female lead because he did not receive any love from his father and was abused by his stepmother. Her gentle demeanor, her kindness and loveliness triggered his desire to have her all to himself. He had even commissioned the construction of a human-sized golden cage so that he could keep the female lead by his side forever. 

Alessandro pouted. “But I don’t want to wait that long! Can’t you tell me now?”

You chuckled. “Good things come to those who wait, my dear. Believe it or not, being a grown-up can be hard in this big, scary world.”

“That’s impossible! Papa is super cool and can do so many things!”

“Yes, he is quite something, isn’t he? Now drink some tea or it will get cold.” 

What you did not realize at the time was that the duke had returned home early from work and went to search for you. The head maid had told him where you were, though the duke had not expected Alessandro to be with you in the garden. He heard what you said about him, and how you have come to accept that you will never be loved by him and it was not his son’s fault.  How affectionate you were with him, smiling and ruffling his hair while reminding him to pay attention to his arithmetic tutor because it was important for him to understand numbers because they were just as important as knowing all colors in a rainbow or which fork to use for salads. 

You had kept your promise to him. 

You did not demand his affections, prioritizing the duchy and his son’s wellbeing. You did not take any paramours nor spent more than the allowance you were given to shop for dresses and other accessories in the capital. You attended tea parties, and did not bring shame to his family name. You were a perfect wife. You were worthy.

Would you object to him spending time with his son as you do? Would you allow him to get close, to spoil you with gifts? Would you even consider the idea of giving Alessandro a younger sibling? It’s been too long, and he does have needs. 

Happy Mother's Day, guys~! :)

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[hyperlexichypatia]

As I keep shouting into the void, pathologizers love shifting discussion about material conditions into discussion about emotional states.

I rant approximately once a week about how the brain maturity myth transmuted “Young adults are too poor to move out of their parents’ homes or have children of their own” into “Young adults are too emotionally and neurologically immature to move out of their parents’ homes or have children of their own.”

I’ve also talked about the misuse of “enabling” and “trauma” and “dopamine” .

And this is a pattern – people coin terms and concepts to describe material problems, and pathologization culture shifts them to be about problems in the brain or psyche of the person experiencing them. Now we’re talking about neurochemicals, frontal lobes, and self-esteem instead of talking about wages, wealth distribution, and civil rights. Now we can say that poor, oppressed, and exploited people are suffering from a neurological/emotional defect that makes them not know what’s best for themselves, so they don’t need or deserve rights or money.

Here are some terms that have been so horribly misused by mental health culture that we’ve almost entirely forgotten that they were originally materialist critiques.

Codependency What it originally referred to: A non-addicted person being overly “helpful” to an addicted partner or relative, often out of financial desperation. For example: Making sure your alcoholic husband gets to work in the morning (even though he’s an adult who should be responsible for himself) because if he loses his job, you’ll lose your home. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/08/opinion/codependency-addiction-recovery.html What it’s been distorted into: Being “clingy,” being “too emotionally needy,” wanting things like affection and quality time from a partner. A way of pathologizing people, especially young women, for wanting things like love and commitment in a romantic relationship.

Compulsory Heterosexuality What it originally referred to: In the 1980 in essay "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence," https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/493756 Adrienne Rich described compulsory heterosexuality as a set of social conditions that coerce women into heterosexual relationships and prioritize those relationships over relationships between women (both romantic and platonic). She also defines “lesbian” much more broadly than current discourse does, encompassing a wide variety of romantic and platonic relationships between women. While she does suggest that women who identify as heterosexual might be doing so out of unquestioned social norms, this is not the primary point she’s making. What it’s been distorted into: The patronizing, biphobic idea that lesbians somehow falsely believe themselves to be attracted to men. Part of the overall “Women don’t really know what they want or what’s good for them” theme of contemporary discourse.

Emotional Labor What it originally referred to: The implicit or explicit requirement that workers (especially women workers, especially workers in female-dominated “pink collar” jobs, especially tipped workers) perform emotional intimacy with customers, coworkers, and bosses above and beyond the actual job being done. Having to smile, be “friendly,” flirt, give the impression of genuine caring, politely accept harassment, etc. https://weld.la.psu.edu/what-is-emotional-labor/ What it’s been distorted into: Everything under the sun. Everything from housework (which we already had a term for), to tolerating the existence of disabled people, to just caring about friends the way friends do. The original intent of the concept was “It’s unreasonable to expect your waitress to care about your problems, because she’s not really your friend,” not “It’s unreasonable to expect your actual friends to care about your problems unless you pay them, because that’s emotional labor,” and certainly not “Disabled people shouldn’t be allowed to be visibly disabled in public, because witnessing a disabled person is emotional labor.” Anything that causes a person emotional distress, even if that emotional distress is rooted in the distress-haver’s bigotry (Many nominally progressive people who would rightfully reject the bigoted logic of “Seeing gay or interracial couples upsets me, which is emotional labor, so they shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public” fully accept the bigoted logic of “Seeing disabled or poor people upsets me, which is emotional labor, so they shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public”).

Battered Wife Syndrome What it originally referred to: The all-encompassing trauma and fear of escalating violence experienced by people suffering ongoing domestic abuse, sometimes resulting in the abuse victim using necessary violence in self-defense. Because domestic abuse often escalates, often to murder, this fear is entirely rational and justified. This is the reasonable, justified belief that someone who beats you, stalks you, and threatens to kill you may actually kill you.

What it’s been distorted into: Like so many of these other items, the idea that women (in this case, women who are victims of domestic violence) don’t know what’s best for themselves. I debated including this one, because “syndrome” was a wrongful framing from the beginning – a justified and rational fear of escalating violence in a situation in which escalating violence is occurring is not a “syndrome.” But the original meaning at least partially acknowledged the material conditions of escalating violence.

I’m not saying the original meanings of these terms are ones I necessarily agree with – as a cognitive liberty absolutist, I’m unsurprisingly not that enamored of either second-wave feminism or 1970s addiction discourse. And as much as I dislike what “emotional labor” has become, I accept that “Women are unfairly expected to care about other people’s feelings more than men are” is a true statement.

What I am saying is that all of these terms originally, at least partly, took material conditions into account in their usage. Subsequent usage has entirely stripped the materialist critique and fully replaced it with emotional pathologization, specifically of women. Acknowledgement that women have their choices constrained by poverty, violence, and oppression has been replaced with the idea that women don’t know what’s best for themselves and need to be coercively “helped” for their own good. Acknowledgement that working-class women experience a gender-and-class-specific form of economic exploitation has been rebranded as yet another variation of “Disabled people are burdensome for wanting to exist.”

Over and over, materialist critiques are reframed as emotional or cognitive defects of marginalized people. The next time you hear a superficially sympathetic (but actually pathologizing) argument for “Marginalized people make bad choices because…” consider stopping and asking: “Wait, who are we to assume that this person’s choices are ‘bad’? And if they are, is there something about their material conditions that constrains their options or makes the ‘bad’ choice the best available option?”

#mad pride #neurodiversity #ableism #ageism #youth rights #liberation #disability rights #classism #capitalism #mental health culture #pop psychology #feminism #emotional labor