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fairlyaltheticquails · 11 months

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give me some tips to forget you (part one)

ford pines x reader

three times you tried to move on, three times he came back

word count: 1061 words that i didnt proofread, sorry im lazy ;P

angsty but there will be eventual fluff! this is part one of a three-part series. part two and three coming soon!

part one: could it be easy this once?

“I'm leaving next week.”

Four words are all it takes to make your heart fall into your stomach.

Backupsmore wasn't your first decision, but it also wasn't the worst school you could've landed yourself in you suppose. Ford had yet to say much about where he was going, but you saw the scouts. You saw how he lit up as he approached them, shook their hands, and made all the right moves. You knew he would get into some great school, move away, and follow his dreams that were undoubtedly much larger and more promising than yours. But god, you didn't expect it to hurt like this. You stare straight ahead into the blue ocean waves, hear them crashing into the side of the Stan O War, while Ford shifts beside you. Uncomfortable. He doesn't like the silence from your end of the plank.

What were you supposed to say?

‘Wow, Ford! I’m so thrilled that you are leaving me so soon with virtually no warning, and even though we promised to write letters, I know you'll get busier and busier until the letters stop and I never hear from you again. Oh, and by the way, I love you and it's been suffocating me but I wouldn't forgive myself if I held you back.’

“What day?”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*☆ ﾟ. ───

His brown head of hair sat tauntingly close in front of you. Too far to get his attention without yelling (even though you wanted to scream at him until your lungs give out) but too close to pretend it wasn't him. That those weren't his glasses, his smile, his stupid sweater. This was all wrong. He was supposed to have big dreams, the kind the papers write about. The kind that changes the world, even for just a little bit. You were supposed to get your degree from an okay school, live a quiet life filling the void he left you with, and eventually learn to be happy without him. So how did you end up in the same damn orientation, at the same school, in the same musty, damp-smelling auditorium?

Saying goodbye to him just a few short days ago felt so final. He had said nothing to you about his true plans. You had helped him pack up his few boxes, he let you hug him as tightly as you could, and you had said goodbye to your best friend, thinking it would be the last time you'd ever see him in person, knowing he was moving on to bigger things. Bigger things than Jersey, bigger things than the rotting wooden boat on the beach, bigger things than you. He had lied to you to let you maintain your hope for him. You couldn't tell if you felt betrayed or relieved.

Everyone stood to leave as the presentation ended, and that is when he turned, meeting your eyes. Frozen in your seat, you had nowhere to hide. You watch as his eyes change from something familiar to something akin to sadness and embarrassment. As moments pass, your mind goes elsewhere. From the days spent working alongside him, to the nights quietly discussing theories and the unknowns of the universe. The way he would crack jokes that nobody but him could understand, his delivery making you laugh anyway. How he never made you feel dumb or insignificant, how he valued what you were interested in just as much as he valued his own. The way the fire that burned your heart when you were near him never died, but you were so ready to let it just so he could go on to be great. How saying goodbye was you finally stomping out the flames, just for him to show back up with gasoline.

You feel like it's been several years before he breaks eye contact and you finally have the strength to stand from your seat. His head disappears into the crowd exiting the room. You crane your head to try and catch another glimpse of the brown curls you know so well. It's in vain, there are simply too many people, and it's too dark in the room to discern him. You rush out of your aisle to catch up, shouldering and squeezing past, until you finally break through the crowd and out the door. You turn and look amongst the dispersing students, but nothing. You were about to turn when you hit something solid.

“I am so sor…” You start, and there he is. He wrings his hands nervously, looking everywhere but your face. You go to open your mouth, unsure of what to even say to him.

“Just listen. Please.” He ushers out before you can interrupt. He tests to see if you will do what he asks, waiting in silence for a few moments, before sighing. You watch as he untangles his fingers and his arm lifts, going to hold the back of his neck instead. “I didn't get in. Something happened, and I didn't get in. I didn't know how to tell you, and to be honest, I didn't know what you would think.I’m sorry, I should have told you instead of leading you on in my deception. I was hoping to find a more appropriate time to find you, but I suppose there is no time like the present, right? Heh...” he trails off with nervous laughter, only egged on by your pointed silence.

The urge to be pissed off is strong. But, the sadness you've felt since he left sits heavy in your chest. The nerves left from wondering when or if you will ever see your best friend again for the past several days finally fizzle out as he stands before you. His eyes grow more and more anxious as you still have yet to respond to his pleas. Your resolve diminishes.

You take a quick step forward, locking your arms firmly around him. He is slow to reciprocate but he eventually comes out of his shock to hug you back properly. His fingers gently squeeze your shoulder and you relish in the feeling. The moments you spend in each other's embrace stretch on, until you pull away slightly to look him in the face.

“If you ever lie to my face like that again Stanford Filbrick Pines, I will never forgive you.”

“I believe it.”

#ford pines #ford pines x reader #gravity falls fic #stanford pines #my writing #gravity falls

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presleybutlervsp · 27 days

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March 31, 1956

A full-page in Billboard (another first for Elvis) on March 31 announced, “A Red Hot Star Is Born on RCA Victor Records!” The LP quickly rose to the top of the LP chart, where it stayed for 10 weeks. It became the first RCA album ever to sell over 300,000 copies on its initial release.

Presley had thirty-five R&B hits from 1956 through 1963 starting today with the R&B debut of “Heartbreak Hotel,” which reached #3. He was the most successful White artist on the Black charts and was #35 among the Top 500 R&B artists of all time.

Due to his impending stardom, Elvis would buy out of the remainder of his contract for $10,000 and the agreement to return at a future date for one final benefit appearance.

Elvis performed his last regular appearance one the Louisiana Hayride, Municipal Auditorium, Shreveport.

The other acts were Billy Walker, Johnny Cash, Jeanette Hicks, Buddy Attaway, Hoot & Curley, Buzz Busby & The Bayou Boys, Jack Ford and David Houston.

#elvisaaronpresley #elvispresley #elvis #graceland #elvis history #elvishistory #tcb #elvis fans #elvis presley #elvis the pelvis #elvis concert #elvis music #elvis the king #50s elvis #rca #rca records #rca victor #billboard #johnny cash

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prince-of-elsinore · 2 months

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Writing patterns tag game!

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Thank you @flownwrong for the tag! I love tag games that investigate writing style and habits :)

Sam shuts his laptop and massages the bridge of his nose. Too many violent deaths that fit the profile of their vengeful spirit; not enough sleep to parse through them. -

When I climbed over my brother's hips for the third time that night, Sodapop threw an arm over his eyes and groaned. -

When I started writing that composition, it made me remember things. -

The Tar Man first appeared to me in Plano, Texas. -

The brake lines in Mrs. Shapiro's 1986 Ford station wagon need replacing. -

Sam's still in his stage makeup when he pulls his brother into an empty classroom in the wing off the auditorium. -

When Sam suggested they warm up, this was not what he had in mind. For the record. -

New Orleans in the middle of July is hell. -

He spends Christmas Day driving west. -

Storms stir shit up. Like dogs and old war wounds, spirits get restless when the pressure drops. -

Hm, I seem to favor some sort of setting contextualization of time, place, or occasion. And I've started three stories with the word "When." Funny that that includes both my published Outsiders stories, and of course the book also begins with "When." Perhaps I was subconsciously echoing that.

Anyone notice anything else? I'm curious what you see!

I have no idea who's been tagged for this one already so apologies if you're double-tapped: @nigeltde-fic, @mannequin3thereckoning, @buddyaldridge, @nevergettingoverwincest, and @dyed-red :)

#tag game #my fic #ponypop #wincest

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eretzyisrael · 6 months

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The Arab American News reports that a crowd of 1,200 Arab Americans filled an auditorium at the Ford Community & Performing Arts Center in Dearborn last Tuesday evening, well after the Hamas atrocities were well know and documented.

That didn't stop Osama Siblani, publisher of the Arab American News, to tell the crowd that Hamas was “not a terrorist organization.”

Imam Imran Salha of the Islamic Center of Detroit, a Palestinian-majority mosque, said that Israel will burn.

This is only what is being reported. The full video shows more outrageous statements.

That same Imam Salha referred to the perpetrators of the massacre, saying "the Palestinians that

stand up for their rights, that protest peacefully, that they cross the border. They do not love to die.

They love life. And because they love life, they wanted to stand up for their rights." His use of past tense makes it clear he was referring to this event.

Salha also mocked the Israelis at the rave who tried desperately to escape from being murdered by Hamas terrorists: "If you really had a claim to the land, oh Israeli, why did you run away like a chicken?" the imam said to applause.

Another speaker, Nasir Beydoun, invoked antisemitic tropes by saying "Before we end the occupation of Palestine, we have to end the occupation of Congress!"

He is a candidate for the Senate.

(UPDATE) Siblani's full statement was reprehensible:

We are not going to be intimidated or silent when they say Hamas is a terrorist organization. The fact is it is not a terrorist community. And we have to say to them that terrorist is Benjamin Netanyahu and his government. But not only Benjamin Netanyahu and his government but everyone that stands behind them and supports him, killing people in Palestine. We are not afraid to say it. You know why? Because it is the truth. And we have to say it because we are responsible before God. ... Let me tell you, let me tell you what happened on Sunday. So what happened on Sunday was shameful. Here in Michigan. Our representative went to a synagogue and that is not the issue. But what they did there is shameful. While people are being dead. Under the rubbles of their homes. From the bombs that made in the United States. And give it to Israel to kill people. They were standing and dancing and laughing on our bodies, on our homes.

Sunday was Simchat Torah. The representative visited a synagogue where Jews were dancing around the Torah as is done on this holiday. The idea that they were dancing because Israel was bombing Palestinians is sickening - because in synagogues around the world, this was the saddest Simchat Torah ever, as we were only starting to learn about the horrific and genocidal attack by Siblani's Hamas friends on thousands of innocent Jewish civilians.

Where I prayed, where we do not use electronics during the festival, the first time we learned about the attack was right before the dancing. We stopped, said Psalms, prayed for the safety of the people, and then danced a subdued set of hakafot with songs centered around asking God for salvation.

For Siblani to twist that into saying that Jews were celebrating Palestinian deaths is grotesque and revolting..

#osama siblani #arab american news #simchat torah #hamas supporters #dearborn michigan #imam imran salha

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that-weird-skeleton-bastard · 8 months

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MORE psychonauts incorect quotes

*Raz is fighting a monster* Ford: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it! Raz: The power to believe in myself!? Ford: No, a knife! Stab it!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Raz: :) Lili: >:( Raz: Turn that frown upside down! Lili: ):< Raz: Not sure what I was expecting...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Raz: I came out here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Raz, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs? Ford: It means like in hand-to-hand combat. Raz: Ohhhh- Milla: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Lili, to Milla: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

*while waiting outside the principal’s office* Lili: What are you in for? Raz: Oh, i just want to know if it’s cool if I miss my classes tomorrow to run sound and lights for a presentation in the auditorium. What about you? Lili: I stabbed a kid with a screwdriver. Raz: Raz: Raz: We live very different lives. Lili: Yes we do.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Raz: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere* Sasha : Where did you get that? Raz: My pocket. Sasha : How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket? Raz: Skills.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Sasha : Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die. Raz: My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call. Milla: It’s called connotations. Lili: Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty." Ford: Great news! Language is now banned!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Milla: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.." Raz: I saw you. Milla: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Sasha in a turkey costume.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Raz: Who hurt you? Lili: *snorting* What, do you want a list? Raz: ...Yes, actually.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Raz: Can we go to a haunted house? Lili: What’s wrong with the one we live in? Raz: Wh-what? Lili: Goodnight, Raz.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

#psychonauts #psychonauts incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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ericboyd · 8 months

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Decided to get the fuck out of Pittsburgh for a day and went up to see Oppenheimer in 70mm IMAX in New York. I always sort of dislike the city until I leave it and then I get this itch to go back-- so this was a good enough excuse. Before Oppenheimer I had time to check out "Bottoms" which was extremely funny (one of the leads was also in "Theater Camp" which was very good as well). Also funny is how the Nicole Kidman AMC intro is becoming this cult phenomenon; in both Bottoms and Oppenheimer people in the crowd clapped and knew every word of the intro by heart. Both films were sold out, both audiences were fully engaged. It was heartening to see that compared to when I go to the waterfront and I'm the only one in the theatre. Oppenheimer was whatever, it's cool to see Nolan trick the world into thinking he's an action director then get 100mil to make a pretty standard arthouse flick. The script was a bit thin and on the nose but I just can't hate a movie that invented an entirely new form of film, casts Benny Safdie in a major role, and asks RDJ to act entirely outside of his wheelhouse. When the film first started I teared up at how overwhelming the sheer size of the screen was. The first row of seats was about 50 feet away because the screen descended maybe 20 feet below them. Definitely a worthwhile experience, especially compared to seeing The Hateful Eight in 70mm at the waterfront because a) they stuck it in a small, 150+/- seat auditorium with a tiny screen, which basically defeats the whole purpose of celebrating the medium's fidelity-- and b) that movie fuckin sucked and Tarentino is a joke.

Anyway, my go-to stop for my last couple of New York trips has been to hit 5th ave and check out whatever new fragrances are coming out / unavailable in Pittsburgh.

Gucci's Alchemist Garden line, probably my favorite designer private collection, isn't at Pittsburgh's Gucci store so I wanted to try the latest scent, "Where my Heart Beats." It was unapologetically floral, but still felt like it could layer well with other scents from the line, especially Voice of the Snake, their Saphron / Oud fragrance. I asked the rep if the line would continue now that Alessandro Michele is out and the line really felt like his baby. The rep hadn't heard anything about it but I still can't imagine the line surviving much longer. 50/50 if bottles get cheaper or skyrocket in price should they become discontinued.

The Louboutin fragrances were all okay. The bottles are beautiful baubles but the juice isn't mind-blowing with the exception of Loubimar, an aquatic tuberose frag that I thought had a very nice honeysuckle accord going.

Tom Ford's new "Myrrhe Mystere" was pretty boring and it seems like the house really has sold its soul in the deal to Estee Lauder.

Guerlain's new "Honey Tobacco" was pretty good! I forgot to ask the rep if they knew anything about what this year's millésime Shalimar release might focus on (rumor is bergamot), but they should announce that stuff soon.

Visited Coach just to look at the dinosaur made entirely out of handbags.

Went to Papaya Dog and got a couple chili dogs and a juice. Has that old Rick Sebak documentary in the back of my mind every time I visit the city but never made it out; it was a good, cheap hotdog! Glad I went.

It's always fun to go out and play with the long exposure mode on my phone, it's not quite like a real camera but it's pretty interesting on its own

#travel #new york #oppenheimer #film #imax 70mm #gucci #pixel 7 pro

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anotherblblog · 7 months

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Fan Meets and irl BL adventures

I still wanna go through pictures and videos of the fanmeets and such for bl and bl adjacent events and places I've been able to attend thus far but talking and thinking even more about Utsukare and my trip this spring to watch the movie and such and also the fact, I'm very much procrastinating on some work right now has me in the mood to at least list out all the events and bl actors I've seen.

Last Twilight in the Park - BKPP and ITSAY cast

KaownahTurbo Mini Fan Meet - Kaownah, Turbo, Mild, Bhudi

Phuket Trip - ITSAY filming sites (the school, Teh and Oh's houses, Promthep Cape, Skyline MV Beach, Dibuk Restaurant)

IdolFan Fest - Wabi Sabi actors, Kaownah, Mild, Bhudi, most of the KinnPorsche cast, the Love at 9 Cast, many many many many others

GMMTV Building

Nadao Bangkok Building

Last Cafe on the Right

Manila trip - getting my hat and Gameboys filming sites (Ortigas Ave, Pasig Park)

Love Out Loud Fan Fest 2022 - Gun, Tay, Singto, and friends

KinnPorsche filming site (Rosewood Hotel)

Chang Mai Trip* (I went because Manner of Death was filmed there but the actual filming sites were hella far and I didn't arrange transporation, so I went to an elephant sanctuary)

Bangkok meet up with @liyazaki and @meteorjam

Idol Exchange - KaownahTurbo

Phuket meet up with @liyazaki and @meteorjam

Blue Room screening at Cinemalaya - Elijah Canlas

EliKoy meet up

Casio event - KaownahTurbo

GMMTV Fanday in Osaka - Gun, Mix, and friends

Lit & Glitter - PP Krit

Utsukare Season 1 Special Edit Version

My School President Prom Night Live - MSP cast

GMMTV Building

Dp Dance Studio Charity Showcase- KaownahTurbo

Phuket Trip

Taipei Trip (on my radar because of Your Name Engraved Herein)

MarkFord video call - Mark, Ford, Gemini

Utsukare Eternal (I saw it 6 or 7 times)

Utsukare filming sites (the shrine, Hira's house)

Songkran

About Us But Not About Us screening - Elijah Canlas

Love in the Air Manila Fan Meet - LitA cast

Utsukare AniMate Cafe event

Love Story SantaEarth Fan Meet in Vietnam - SantaEarth

Nature Thai Massage Parlor - Tul's massage place and one of them has a big picture of Tul above it, second closest I've been to him

Where is the Lie screening - Royce Cabrera

ok that's kind of a long list lmao

blurbs and takeaways:

all of these international trips started because I won a hat from Kokoy in a Gameboys' fan raffle, which I later got but it wasn't the hat I was told I won but ended up being a more meaningful hat anyway

Kaownah is the actor I've seen the most

Elijah is the actor I've spent the most face time with and had the longest conversations with

Elijah got on the mic told a FULL ass auditorium of his family and fans that I was the biggest Cairo hater in the world (which is true actually)

most everyone I've met and had any sort of face time with has been really nice and excited to talk with an interfan

I won a video call with MarkFord for the MSP concert and their excitement at seeing me again made Gemini who was in the room come over to see what was happening and he was also very excited to see me again

most of them tend to be shorter than I imagined but I'm also 6'1 and also a lot of them wear platform heels or very chunky shoes lmao

fans and staff at events tend to be hella nice and curious about me and assist with translations or directions and sharing gifts and tips

I "saw" Tul Pakorn at NYC Pride 2023 but didn't register it was him because I was 5-10ft behind him and thought "that's a nice white mesh shirt" and later to my eternal chagrin saw him on IG wearing that very same 'nice mesh shirt.' I had to laugh to not cry.

I entered a raffle to meet Yusei and didn't win and so I didn't go back to Japan and later read on twitter he was meeting fans there anyway

fan meets/concerts and goodbye sessions are truly LONG AF!!! Some of them could easily be 10+ hours onsite.

@bengiyo I have told you and @liyazaki the most about my travels - I've already added a few missed memories but lemme know if y'all remember any omissions lmao

at some point, I'm going to need to buy a shelf or two for all the bl merch and pictures I have

next up for me:

Khaotung and First in Sao Paolo

Kaownah (lmao) and Mild in Manila

Gun, Tay, and friends in Manila

I have an eye out for announcements about Be On Cloud's NYE party but no details has been revealed or ticketed yet

#about me #my rankings #personal #bl fan adventures

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albertcapraro · 1 year

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December 29, 1976 - El Paso Herald-Post Page B4 Albert Capraro fashion clothes for Mrs. Ford (Excerpts) BY Ellie Grossman New York -- (NEA) -- They're all here for designer Albert Capraro's fashion showing. The hard-faced ladies in massive minks. 18-carat bangles and leather boots as supple they must have been gummed by ancient Eskimo women. And the winsome young men with thick hair and secrets in their eyes as they smile and wave at each other. Endlessly, New York's fashion set spills into the Fashion Institute of Technology's auditorium. A YEAR AGO, Betty Ford saw a feature on Albert Capraro in a local Washington paper and called him to design for her. Up he flew to a royal box on Olympus. His showing, fittingly, verges on a Gower Champion production. Lights down lights up, music blaring, models cavorting. Group after group in his line is greeted with rolls of applause: yellow and white striped beachwear; sophisticated white, pencil-skirted suits; flowing black evening-wear. Capraro, clearly, is a designer to talk to. But, there's no rapid transit system to Olympus.

#ALBERT CAPRARO #Fashion's Prince Albert #Fashion

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werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

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Home (School Sets)

In preparation for an interview with Splits Magazine, Sue had her two new cheearleaders in her office.

Sue: Ladies, what we have here is a grade-A dilemma. Mercedes, your vocal cords have had more fantastic runs than a Kenyan track team but that look simply will not do. At first I thought it was a subtle homage to yours truly but now I fear it’s some sort of ironic comment.

Mercedes: Ms. Sylvester, I’m just not comfortable in those Cheerios skirts. They don’t fit me right.

Kurt: Mercedes, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about your body.

Mercedes: Embarrassed? No, no. I’m worried about showing too much skin and causing a sex riot.

The two best friends laugh and twirled their fingers.

Sue: How do you two not have a show on Bravo? Here’s the skinny. Splits magazine, after much campaigning by one Sue Sylvester has named me cheerleading coach of the last 2,000 years. In seven days reporter Tracy Pendergrass will arrive on campus and my new star singer will have lost 10 pounds and be in a gender-appropriate cheerleading uniform or she is off the team.

Kurt (shock): Ten pounds? Are you serious?

Sue: You could lose a few too, kiddo. You got hips like a pear. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to put in a call to the Ohio secretary of state notifying them I will no longer be carrying photo I.D. You know why? People should know who I am.

(TITLE CARD)

–—–—

In the Staff lunch room, Will approach the coach quite angry.

Will: Sue! We need to talk. The auditorium is padlocked!

Sue: Well, that’s curious. Did you check the sign-up sheet?

Will: What sign-up sheet?

Sue: Why, the one I keep right here in my waistband, William. Let’s see. Yeah, I’ve got the entire week booked solid. Got a big magazine feature coming up and it’s a little chilly for my girls to be practicing outdoors.

Will: Yeah? Well, let’s see what Figgins has to say about this.

Sue: Oh, I’m sure Figgins will just mumble something nervously and then pretend to take a call. I happen to be blackmailing him.

—–—–

In the choir room, Will sat on a stool in front of the kids.

Will: Um, all right, I have one final announcement before we all leave. We can't use the auditorium for the next week.

Finn: But that’s garbage. How are we supposed to practice for regionals without the auditorium?

Will: The Cheerios need it to practice in. There’s nothing I can do.

Rachel: I recommend a sit-in.

Puck: I recommend we torch the place. That got half of the members to smile.

Will: No. Look, we’ve all faced adversity before and come out stronger on the other end. I’m gonna check out a few off-site locations for us to use just for the week. I promise I’ll find us a new home.

The school rang and everyone got out their seats. But Kurt approached Finn.

Kurt: Oh, Finn! I wanted your opinion on this. It’s a swatch board. I’m redecorating my bedroom. Kind of going for a hunting lodge meets Tom Ford's place in Bel Air. I was hoping you could help me out with the hunting lodge part.

Finn: I live in a closet. There’s cowboy wallpaper on the walls.

Kurt: Oh.

Finn (points to a mix of blue and hey sheet.): But I guess that one's nice.

Kurt: Toile? I always pegged you as a chinoisserie type.

Finn walked away from him but Kurt smirked.

–—–—

In the cafeteria, Kurt watched Mercedes getting her food.

Kurt: Mercedes.

Mercedes: This is healthy. Chicken breast and a salad, dressing on the side.

Kurt: You have a week to lose 10 pounds. It’s like having to lose one of my butt cheeks. Look at what I’m eating. Peeled celery and for breakfast I had Splenda. Look, Mercedes, now that we’re cheerleaders, we’re finally part of the in crowd. We have a place at the table. We don’t have to beg underneath for scraps of attention. (Sighs): Don’t screw it up. (Walking away.)

Brittany: I’m pretty sure my cat's been reading my diary.

Mercedes (approaching the cheerleaders): Hey, guys. Can I ask you something? How do you manage to stay so skinny?

Santana and Brittany grabbed their water bottles.

Santana: The Sue Sylvester Master Cleanse.

(Sue: Water, maple syrup for glucose, lemon for acid, cayenne pepper- irritate the bowels and a dash of ipecac- a vomiting agent. I haven’t had a solid meal since 1987.)

Brittany: Sometimes I add a teaspoon of sand.

Mercedes: That can’t be healthy.

Santana: Who cares? You can either feel terrible and look great or get kicked off the team when that reporter gets here.

Mercedes left her lunch but a blonde was watching the whole thing.

–——–—

In Sue's office...

Becky: I lost two pounds, Coach.

Sue: Well, Becky, you are assimilating beautifully. Instead of being different and an outcast you’re just like every other teenage girl in America sadly obsessed with vanity. Before you know it you’ll be leaving baggies of upchuck in your parents'linen closet. Congrats. I’m proud of you, kid.

Becky: Thanks, Coach.

Sue: You betcha. Next!

Mercedes stepped up next.

Sue: Hey, you’re still in your track uniform.

Mercedes: Yep, and I’m ready for my midweek weigh-in. I’ve been eating very well and walking everywhere and-

Sue cut in: Well, climb aboard. Let’s see how many "libbies" you lost. (She did just that) Well, look at that, Mercedes. You gained two pounds.

Mercedes (shocked): What? That's impossible!

Sue: Look, I’m gonna break it down for you. You have four days to lose the weight, get yourself in a uniform, or you’re out.

Mercedes: What am I gonna do?

Sue: Well, you might try dropping the attitude. I’m sure there’s a pound or two in that. You know, with the Cheerios we have only one lesson, and it’s a very simple lesson. You do whatever it takes.

Mercedes frowned and stepped off the scale. The School Bell Rings. Sue: Next!

–—–—–

Finn walked well ran to Kurt.

Finn: Kurt! Hey! What the hell's going on with our parents? When did they even meet each other?

Kurt: Parent-teacher conference night, about a month ago.

Kurt (Voiceover:) I always accompany my father to those conferences to act as translator.

Burt picked up a cookie but Kurt slapped it out of his hand. Burt: How do you know this is not organic?

Kurt: Because you can see the logo. It’s encrusted in the cookie.

Kurt (voiceover:) Fate brought them together.

Kurt lead Burt when Carole led into the classroom. Kurt: Dad! Meet Carole Hudson. Ms. Hudson, my father, Burt Hummel. You both have dead spouses. Maybe you should talk.

Burt: I was just saying to a friend that acid wash should make a comeback.

He was referring to her jacket. Carole: Oh. Really and who said it ever left?

Kurt (voiceover:) It was an instant connection.

Finn: That’s impossible.

Kurt: Nothing is impossible when it comes to love. Haven’t you noticed anything different about your mom? New clothes, new makeup, a haircut that doesn’t look like it was styled by the Amish. Who do you think "Pretty Woman"-ed her up? Has she started selling the furniture yet?

Finn: Yeah, yeah. She got rid of her old bedroom set and she tried to sell my dad's chair, but I stopped her. How do you even know that?

Kurt: People our parents' age don’t wait around for love to bloom. They know what they want. You and I will be roommates, with Mom and Dad cohabitating upstairs by midterms.

Finn (shook his head) : No way.

Kurt: Give in to the inevitable, Finn. I want us to decide how to redecorate our room together. That’s why I asked you about the swatches. And don’t sweat that old chair. I have a lovely chaise picked out.

Finn: Look, screw y-your swatches and your-your "chez."

Kurt: Chaise.

Finn: Whatever! I like my house, I’m not moving, and she’s not selling that damn chair!

–—–——–

In the choir room, Will told everyone where they were going to practice.

Tina: A roller rink?

Santana: Weren’t those outlawed in, like, 1981 for being totally lame?

Will: Come on, guys. Where’s your sense of adventure? The space is great and April is giving it to us to practice in for free.

Kurt (raising his hand): Mr. Schue? If I may? The New Directions is clearly a club with a dearth of direction. Rachel and Jesse refuse to accept that all of us would rather die before we allow them to become the next Beyonce and Jay-Z and Finn's mother's romance with my father is sending him into a wholly unnecessary tailspin of despair. (Hands papers to Will that he gives out.) What we all need right now is to explore the idea of a sense of place and how if we find that place within we will get that happy ending.

Kurt looked to the piano player. Kurt: Brad, B flat.

Kurt: A chair is still a chair, even when there’s no one sitting there. But a chair is not a house and a house is not a home. When there’s no one there to hold you tight and no one there, you can kiss good night.

A room is still a room, even when there's nothing there but gloom. But a room is not a house and a house is not a home. When the two of us are far apart and one of us has a broken heart

(Finn at home was sitting in front of his dad's chair. Finn: Now and then I call your name and suddenly your face appears. But it's just a crazy game and when it end it ends in tears.)

Kurt: So darling have a heart, Don’t let one mistake keep us apart. I’m not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home. When I climb the stair and turn the key. Oh, please be there still in love with me.

Kurt looked away from the group.

–—–——

In the cafeteria, Mercedes was frustrated to no end. Tina: Do you want half of my peppermint patty?

Mercedes: No. I don’t put junk in my body.

Artie: Why are you doing this? We like you no matter how you look.

Tina: And those shake diets are really unhealthy.

Artie: They also don’t really work. As soon as you go off them, you gain back the weight you lost.

Mercedes slammed her hands on the lunch table. Mercedes: You know what? I don’t want to hear it! You have no idea how much I’m sacrificing to be a Cheerio, to look fantastic to finally fit in at this school.

Mercedes then started to imagine her friends as food.

Tina: We were just trying to look out for you. She was ice cream.

Artie: We just want you to be healthy. He was a piece of pie.

Mercedes: Stop getting all up in my face, telling me what I can and cannot do and I’m really hungry, so stop trying to get me to eat you!

Artie: Hold up. Did she just say she wanted to eat us?

Mercedes walked away but saw Rachel and Jesse.

Rachel: The point is that Fanny Brice is the most iconic role... Rachel was a cupcake and Jesse was a burger.

Mercedes: Aw, damn. Then she fainted.

––—–—

School Nurse: Hmm. Your blood pressure's low. Maybe that’s why you fainted. Your mom will be here soon. I’ll go and get you some ginger ale.

When she left, Quinn was there and approached the girl. Mercedes: Thanks. I’m not hungry.

Quinn: Yes, you are. You’re starving. I know. I’ve been there. Did all the other kids start looking like food right before you fainted?

Mercedes (a bit shocked): Yeah. How'd you know?

Quinn: Been there. Eat the granola bar.

Mercedes took the bar. Mercedes: Why are you being so nice to me? I can’t remember the last time you said two words to me that weren't "you" and "suck."

Quinn: Cause I was you- scared. Hating myself for eating a cookie. But I got over it.

Mercedes: Yeah, of course you did, Miss Pretty Blonde With the White Girl Ass.

Quinn: When you start eating for somebody else... so that they can grow and be healthy your relationship to food changes. What I realized is that if I’m so willing to eat right to take care of this baby why am I not willing to do it for myself? You are so lucky. You’ve always been at home in your body. Don’t let Ms. Sylvester take that away from you.

Mercedes begins to tear up. Mercedes: I’m so embarrassed. This isn’t me. How did I become this person?

Quinn: You are beautiful. You know that. I’m gonna stay here with you until your mom comes, okay?

–—–—––

Kurt approached Finn at his locker.

Kurt: Finn, we need to talk. (Finn looks to him.) We have to break up our parents immediately. I screwed up. I feel like the guy who set up Liza and David Gest.

Finn: It hurt you, didn’t it? When I was talking sports with your dad and stuff. I could tell that you were-

Kurt: Left out? Invisible?

Finn: Yeah. I don’t like that my mom's forgetting about my dad. It’s up to me to keep his memory alive and I don’t want to move in with you. No offense.

Kurt: None taken. So we put an end to them. Agreed?

Finn: Agreed.

–—–—––

In the gymnasium, it was time for the pep rally. Sue approached the journalist from Splits Magazine and sat down beside him.

Sue: Well, with a name like Tracy, I assumed you were a lady.

Tracy: Quite a turnout for a pep rally.

Sue: On assembly days, I arrange for the rest of the school to be fumigated leaving the gymnasium the only place with breathable air. (Tracy didn’t laugh or chuckled) Come on. That was clever. You might want to start writing down my little bon mots. I’m gonna be dropping some beauties on you.

Tracy: You know, this is just a freelance job. I was short-listed for the Pulitzer last year for my Newsweek piece on high school athletes going pro.

Sue: So my cover story isn’t a fluff piece?

Tracy: Nope. Hard-hitting investigation.

The Cheerios came out with the crowd cheering so loud, Kurt waved to the crowd but mostly to his friends.

Sue: Feast your ears on this smokin' intro. In a few seconds, so important to build the tension.

Mercedes came out but Kurt was so confused so he looked to Brittany. Kurt: What is she doing? Brittany just shrugged.

Mercedes took hold of the microphone and spoke into it. Mercedes: Hey, guys. I’m Mercedes Jones. (Exhales) So most of you know Cheerios is about perfection and winning looking hot and being popular.

Sue: Still building the tension.

Mercedes: Well, I think that it should be about something different. How many of you at this school feel fat? (Some people raised their hands like Quinn was one of them.) How many of you feel like maybe you’re not worth very much? Or you’re ugly, or you have too many pimples and not enough friends? (Some more people raised their hands like Jesse, Tina and Artie) Well, I felt all those things about myself at one time or another. Hell, I felt most of those things about myself today and that just ain’t right. And we’ve got something to say about it and if you like what we have to say come down here and sing it with us.

Mercedes: Ooooooooh yeah, yeah, oh, oh, oh, yeah, every day is so wonderful and suddenly it’s hard to breathe. Now and then I get insecure from all the pain, I’m so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say, words can’t bring me down. I am beautiful in every single way, yes, words can’t bring me down, oh no So, don’t you bring me down today

The cheerios turned around and joined in with the singing.

WMHS Students: No matter what we do

Mercedes and WMHS Students: No matter what we do

WMHS Students: No matter what we say

Mercedes and WMHS Students: No matter what we say

WMHS Students: We’re the song that's outta tune Full of beautiful mistakes

Mercedes: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah

WMHS Students: And everywhere we go

Mercedes: And everywhere we go

WMHS Students: The sun will always shine (Mercedes: The sun will always, always shine) But tomorrow we might awake over on the other side

Mercedes and WMHS Students: Cause we are beautiful no matter what they say. Yes, words won't bring us down (Mercedes: Oh, no, oh, oh, oh) We are beautiful in every single way Yes, words can’t bring us down (Mercedes: Oh, oh, oh)

Mercedes: So don’t you bring me down today oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Don’t you bring me down today

Everyone applauded so loud and cheered loudly as well.

Tracy: We can finish this interview in your office tomorrow.

Kurt approached her and touched her shoulder. Kurt: Thank you. I was wrong. The two hugged.

–—––—–

Sue entered her office with Tracy already there. Sue: Mr. Pendergrass, let me explain.

Tracy: Just have a seat.

Sue: Oh. Not used to taking orders in my own office. She sat down on her chair.

Tracy: Sue, when I met you I instantly disliked you. You’re bossy, insulting, and the fact that twice you called me Rerun makes me think you’re a little racist. I came here to write a piece that would expose you as a coward and a cheat. I could not have been more wrong.

Sue: Beg your pardon?

Tracy: You got every shape and size Cheerio up there singing about empowerment and inclusion telling everyone it’s okay to be exactly the person you are. You’re a visionary, and I think redefining cheerleading. Bravo.

Sue: Well, thank you, uh, Mr. Pendergrass. I can’t say I’m surprised. Um, you know, I work so hard to get my girls feeling good about themselves because it’s what's inside that counts.

Tracy: It’s an honor, Coach. (He stood up and shook her hand.) When this hits the stands, it could mean big things for you.

Once he left, Sue was relieved.

—––——

April and Will were in the choir room, Will was shocked by what he was hearing.

Will: I don’t know what to say.

April: Just say congratulations. I took your advice. I went home, I told Buddy that if he wanted to keep me around he had to ditch the old lady and give yours truly the top job and then he died. (Laughs) One of his eyes went all funny and he had a stroke right in front of me.

Will: Geez, April, are you okay?

April: Okay? I’m rich! The ol' battle-ax was afraid I’d go to the Lima Times so she shut me up to the tune of $2 million.

They both laughed. Will: What?

April: So I’m sobering up and I’m heading to the Broadway, Will. I haven’t had a drink in 45 minutes. I’m going to take my hush money and I’m going to mount the first-ever all-white production of The Wiz.

Will: Okay. [Chuckles]

April: I’ve got you to thank.

All the glee members came into the room.

Rachel eagerly smiled: Did you tell him yet?

Will: Tell me what?

April: That I bought y'all the auditorium.

They applause and cheers for her. Will: What?

April: I wrote ol' Figgins a check this morning. It’s now called the April Rhodes Civic Pavilion.

Will: I- I don’t know what to say.

Rcahel: We’ve got that covered.

That leads them to auditorium for a performance from the musical.

April (New Directions): When I think of home, I think of a place, where there’s love overflowing. I wish I was home, I wish I was back there with the things I’ve been knowing. Wind that makes the tall grass bend into leaning, suddenly the raindrops that fall have a meaning. Sprinkling the scene makes it all clean.

Maybe there's a chance for me to go back, now that I have some direction. It sure would be nice to be back home, where there's love and affection. Then just maybe I can convince time to slow up. Giving me enough time in my life to grow up, time be my friend (Let me start again) let me start again.

Living here in this brand new realm (Brand new realm) might be a fantasy, ohh (Fantasy, ohh). But it taught me to love, so it’s real, real, real to me. And I’ve learned we must look, look inside our hearts to find. Yeah, a world full of love (World full of love) Like yours, like mine (Like mine)

April with New Directions: Like home! Home!

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