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fashionablyiconic · a day ago
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Gucci - Spring/Summer 2022
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dailykai · a day ago
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211205 zkdlin: #LoveYourW @gucci @wkorea
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natalinaofficial · 17 hours ago
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Lead Me Straight Back Home - Part 6
Thank you so much for reading so far! This part brings angst, angst and...well, you get the picture. This means Grace has to make a tough decision for her own happiness! 
Read the rest of the Lead Me Straight Back Home series here. 
Please reblog/like/comment if you enjoyed, I really appreciate your feedback.
Between bed sharing and middle of the night phone calls, I hadn’t got a restful sleep in what felt like weeks. As soon as our flight to Florida took off, I could feel my eyelids dropping from their focus on my work. I had opted to travel with the tour staff, although I knew there was space with the band, choosing peace and quiet over luxury, something I was very glad of when I opened my eyes a few hours later.
The humid Florida air hit me like a blanket as we stepped off the plane, and I instantly regretted my outfit choice of jeans and a cropped hoodie. It became apparent I wasn’t the only one feeling the heat when we arrived at the hotel after making a detour to drop some equipment at the venue.
The band and remaining crew were situated around the pool, and it was clear from their cheery greetings they had been taking advantage of the bar on their day off. If I hadn’t been tempted to join them already, Niji solidified it by slipping me a Whiskey Sour which was strong enough to put me straight in to holiday mode.
We spent the afternoon chatting and idly sunbathing, occasionally making a bar or snack run. There was no sign of Harry – he’d told me on the phone last night he would be travelling with Jeff and Tommy later today – and I made a conscious effort to put him to the back of my mind. Last night had presumably been an attempt to sort things out, but instead we’d ended things by stressing ourselves out and finding comfort in each other, a move that was so typically us.
Thanks to the barman with a strong pour, followed by a large plate of chips, I was more than ready for bed, so I called it a night just as the sun was going down, leaving the remains of our group chatting in the bar.
I almost didn’t turn around when I heard shouting echoing across the lobby – until I realised who it was coming from. It was so rare for Mitch to raise his voice, that I instantly felt my skin prickling with unease.
“H, leave it man! Let’s get out of here” he placed a hand on his best friend’s shoulder, which Harry shrugged off uncharacteristically aggressively. If Mitch seemed irritated, it was nothing on Harry. His face was stony, his mouth set in a line of grim determination as he glared at the vast glass front of the hotel. Outside was at least 20 photographers, still aiming their cameras through the windows as security ushered them away
“That’s it, fuck off you fucking pieces of –“ he practically spat with rage, only fading out when Mitch stood directly in front of him, herding him towards the lifts. Harry turned on his heel, slamming through the doors to the staff corridors without a backwards glance.
“What the fuck was that?” Mitch jumped slightly, forehead furrowing further when he realised, I’d crept up behind him. He looked as worried as I felt  
“He’s been drinking. A pap got up in our faces out there, and he just…lost it. I’ve never seen him like that”
“You ok?” I placed a reassuring hand on Mitch’s arm, waiting for him to nod before I excused myself. I hadn’t made a conscious decision to find Harry, but still my feet carried me to the spot I knew I’d find him in.
Harry was hunched over his phone, leaning against the cool metal railings surrounding the rooftop, when I found him. I didn’t make a noise, unsure if I’d interrupted a call, but when he looked up at me, all wild eyed and frustrated, I moved without thinking. For a few seconds, we were holding each other, Harry clinging on to me like his life depended on it. My breath hitched in my throat. It was always the same with him. When he touched me, I could never quite catch up with my thoughts.
Then, as quickly as it began, he moved away, dropping his arms as if I was burning him. Not for the first time recently, I couldn’t read his facial expression.
“What’s going on, H?” he shrugged, eyes trained on a trodden down piece of gum on the floor. For some reason, this sparked the frustration that had been brewing in me for weeks, perhaps even longer, since the first time he left me out of breath and confused after our kiss “The fighting, random girls, I know it’s not you. What’s happening? I want to help” I couldn’t help the way the last bit sounded like a plea.
His face was blank, all trace of the hurt I’d seen seconds before vanished.  
“I don’t need your help. I meant what I said before. This isn’t a good idea. We’re not – we’re not a good idea” I’d never seen his eyes look so cold before, devoid of their usual golden glint. Deep down, this told me all I needed to know, but with a shaky breath I asked once more
“Then what do you want from me?”
“Give up on me. I won’t ask anything more of you.” He stood up, and before I’d had a chance to reply, he was gone. I sank back against the railings, breathing any hope I may have hung on to out in to the warm night.
---
“Are you completely sure about this?” I’d been anticipating that question from Jeff from the minute I accepted the job offer in London. Although I’d already emailed my notice to the head office, I knew he deserved to be told in person that I’d be leaving three-quarters of the way through tour. That didn’t stop me dreading the conversation, mainly because I knew what was coming next
“This isn’t about the job, is it?”
“It’s about a lot of things” I answered as honestly as I could “It’ll be nice to be back on English soil, see the family. I’ve really missed proper seasons, and the pub, and…” Jeff gave me a pointed look We both knew I was rambling
“We’ll be sad to see you go. All of us. Especially him” I didn’t want my voice to betray me, so I just shook my head. It wasn’t just what could have been between Harry and I was leaving behind, it was the friends I’d made on tour, and back in LA. We’d become a slightly dysfunctional family, one I loved being a part of. Jeff enveloped me in a hug
“He’s not used to needing people, you know” I left before either of us could acknowledge his parting sentence.
---
“No.” Ny shot out of her seat as I broke the news in the dressing room that evening, throwing her arms around me “You’re not leaving meeee” I chuckled at her dramatic response. Sarah, Elin and Mitch were less indignant, but they still looked about as flat as I felt about my announcement.
I would be leaving after the second lot of New York shows, which gave me a week to tie things up with work, and more importantly to say goodbye to the people who had made the last few months special for me.
Sarah decided that we’d begin that week with her first night out as a mum. Ny and Elin heartily agreed, and had also roped in Emery and Jade to get ready with us, which meant loud music and outfit changes and a whole lot of chaos. By the time we made it to the hotel bar, Pauli, Niji, and Mitch were rolling their eyes and checking their watches.
“Come on guys, don’t keep us waiting!” Emery sassed, sashaying past us all to jump into the waiting taxi. I shook my head, but in moments like this, it really hit home that I’d be leaving all of this behind in a week – probably forever. My US visa would run out soon, and my new job was an 18-month contract minimum.
As I danced and drank with my friends, spinning around the dance floor until I was out of breath and sweating, the influence of alcohol offered up a craving I hadn’t had in a while. The smoking area of the dive bar was no rooftop, but I found a satisfactory wall to perch on at the edge of the courtyard.
“You’re really leaving?” I wondered if I was imagining the voice, until the owner of it was sat down beside me, plucking the cigarette from my hands and taking a long drag. Our thighs pressed together, just like when we used to share a bench in the park, or a sofa in the studio.  I sighed, because those memories just made me feel worn out now. I was so, so tired of fighting.
“I’m really leaving” it was his turn to sigh, running his hands through the front of his hair
“Are you going to stay? In England, I mean” I shrugged
“I think I might. I think…it feels like the right thing, you know” He exhaled, clearly agitated
“What’m I going to do, Gracie?” If I didn’t know Harry so well, I wouldn’t have noticed how his voice betrayed him when it cracked on his next words. I did, though. We knew everything about each other, and that’s why I had to leave.
“Take your own advice. Give up.” I stood up, almost spinning on my heel in my rush to get away from the courtyard which suddenly felt suffocating. I wasn’t going to cry any more. Instead, I took the shot Ny was holding out to me, throwing my head back and letting it burn its way down my choked-up throat.
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exoluxionlove · a day ago
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211205 zkdlin Instagram Update
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fashionablyiconic · a day ago
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Gucci - Spring/Summer 2022
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aus-yeezus · 3 months ago
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talsubaie · 19 days ago
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Lead Me Straight Back Home - Part 5
Thank you so much for reading so far! They really had a rough week, didn’t they. In this part, Grace needs to learn to knock, and Harry needs to learn...well, there’s a lot he probably needs to learn! Prepare yourself for some angst! 
Read the other parts of Lead Me Straight Back Home here, and please like/comment/reblog if you’re enjoying it! I appreciate it so much! 
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I woke up the next morning with a dull ache that radiated through my whole body, and thankfully a settled stomach. As I sat up, my head swam for a moment, a reminder that all I’d eaten in the past 24 hours was a bagel. I stumbled to the bathroom, and it wasn’t until I caught my reflection that I remembered last night fully.
My eyes were puffy and red, my hair in dire need of a brush, and there it was - the imprint of that pesky crucifix on my cheek. The white t shirt I was wearing wasn’t my own, and despite sleeping in it, it still smelt like Harry. Harry who, presumably, had made his escape early this morning. I sighed, peeling off the t shirt and stepping in to the spray of the shower. We clearly needed to talk, but first, I needed to feel human again.
Sarah was the best person in the world, I decided. It may have had something to do with the fruit platter she brought up shortly after my shower.
“Have you seen Harry this morning?” I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral
“No, he was going for drinks last night with Mitch but he cancelled” I busied myself with a piece of melon, and Sarah continued “He basically lost his shit when he noticed you’d passed out, you know. He stopped singing, literally mid line” Sarah’s eyes widened, as if she’d suddenly solved a cryptic clue “Is that his t shirt on the floor?”
“That” I stated firmly “is NOT what it looks like. I was on my death bed, so he ended up sleeping here”
“Did you, y’know, talk about things?”
“I’m pretty sure I threw up on him a bit. There wasn’t much talking. There’s been way too many bodily fluids in the last 48 hours to have any kind of sensible discussion” Sarah wrinkled her nose
“Enough said” her expression softened “It’s been good to see you two being friends again, though”
I nodded in agreement. I’d mistakenly thought that things between Harry and I had stayed under wraps, but I was starting to see that we made a difference to the dynamic of the whole crew when we weren’t talking. I still didn’t know if we were friends, or we ever would be again, but we couldn’t let it affect our work going forward.
---
I accompanied Sarah to the venue for Soundcheck that morning. There was a whole host of social media scheduling to finish, and I was going to need to ambush Anthony to get some images to use. Mitch and the rest of the band were already on stage, tuning instruments and adjusting mic stands. As I passed through the first row of seats, I noticed that Ny and Elin had stopped playing and were stood watching me. After missing out on two days’ work, I didn’t have time to chat, so I just smiled and mouthed a promise of a catch up later on.
Anthony was illusive at the best of times, a useful trait for a photographer who had to capture candid moments, but not so much when you were trying to find him in a massive venue. There was one room I hadn’t tried, actively searching everywhere else first, but if I wanted to get anything done today then I had no time to self-indulge. If Harry and I could hold each other’s hair back, dry each other’s tears and share a bed, surely, we could manage a civil conversation under much better circumstances?
“Ant?” I called out as I opened the door. I wasn’t surprised at the absence of Anthony, but I was surprised at the figure lounging on the sofa of Harry’s dressing room. Her long bare legs were draped across the arm rest, and she was focused on something on the other side of the room, of course she was, because stood facing her was Harry, all messy hair and wild eyes in a pair of tight briefs.
I suddenly realised that the glamorous couch-dweller was also half undressed. An alarm sounded in my head, and I jumped in to action. If I’d made a noise, I wasn’t aware of it, but both parties simultaneously turned towards the door.
“Shit” I spat out, scraping my hand on the door handle in my haste “W-was looking for Ant”. I heard Harry call my name as I slammed the door behind me, but my chest was tight and my eyes were stinging. I needed to get out of here.
“Whoah, slow down!” Ny caught my shoulders as I practically tripped over my feet in a rush to grab my laptop. I was glad that the chest I’d collided with was a familiar one, but I was in flight mode, eyes already trained on the exit. Clearly, Ny had other plans
“G? What’s going on? You’re bleeding” Taking my grazed hand in both of hers was a small gesture, but it was enough to send the tears in my eyes spilling over. “Hey, what’s wrong?” The concern in her voice was all it took to choke out a sob. Before I could collect myself, her and Elin were each side of me, steering me in to their dressing room.
I’d never been naïve when it came to Harry. I knew he had girlfriends – I’d even been friends with a couple of them – but this was different. He’d slept in my bed last night. 
Until now, I could kid myself that he didn’t need anyone, but today, my worst fears had been confirmed – wrapped up in a package of smooth tanned skin and glossy brown hair – Harry needed people.
He just didn’t need me.
“You met his visitor then?” Elin asked softly, after I’d managed to stop the tears “We wanted to tell you earlier” Their apprehensive glances from this morning made sense, now. I managed a watery smile of thanks
“Yeah, I erm, interrupted them, by accident”
“Fuck, that stupid asshole!” Ny didn’t mince her words, and as entertaining as I found them, I couldn’t agree in good conscience
“I’m the one being stupid. He literally told me to go away. How much clearer could he have been?” The indignant frowns of the two band members were enough to lift my spirits slightly, joined by Sarah, who burst in to the room with admirable enthusiasm, throwing her arms around me
“Grace, he’s never let you go away. Please don’t forget that. He asked you not to need him, but he never stopped needing you”
I was surprised to see Mitch, Harry’s loyal and silent best friend, nodding from the door. Apparently, there were no secrets in this group
“Come on, let’s go and get lunch” he offered a large hand to help me up, squeezing mine for a second, a tiny and much appreciated show of solidarity.
---
I was, and always would be, a strong believer that cheese toasties, baby cuddles and a nap would fix anything, which is exactly how I spent my afternoon. I’d have to work late in order to catch up, but I entered Madison Square Gardens that evening in a much better frame of mind than I’d left it. I’d deliberately arrived late to avoid the pre-show rush, settling on an empty sofa in the backstage communal area with a supply of snacks and a long to-do list.
I enjoyed working with the faint buzz of the arena as my backing track, which had clearly lulled me in to a false sense of security, because pretty soon people were trickling backstage, signalling the end of the show. As much as I liked the atmosphere, I wasn’t at all ready to see Harry, so I grabbed my stuff and said goodnight to those around me.
---
If I could describe how I felt about the buzzing next to my head at 3am, I would use the phrase ‘rude awakening’. That’s probably why I ignored it in favour of burying my head further into the duvet. Unfortunately, my phone had other ideas, and I snatched it up to stop the third round of ringing.
“’Lo?”
“Gracie” 
I only knew one person who called me that.
 “I didn’t know you’d be there, earlier”
“And if you had known?” we seemed to have reached a mutual agreement that we were past the time for small talk
“Fuck – I dunno? What do you want from me?” I sighed at his question, running a hand through my tousled hair.
“I don’t think either of us know the answer to that, H” If I was honest, I didn’t know what I wanted him to say, but I filled the silence on the other end of the phone with another question “Why did it hurt when I saw you with her?”
“I think maybe that’s just the way it goes with us, Gracie. We’ll always care enough for it to hurt.” I hadn’t expected that. Of all the emotions he’d shown since the end of our friendship, hurt hadn’t come close to being one of them “Tell me about your day?”
“What?” I wondered if he knew the affect he had on me. How the ups and downs in our friendship -if you could still call it that – left me with whiplash. “Harry, it’s 3am and we’re fighting”
“I don’t want to fight. I want to hear about your day” His voice was small and he sounded almost wounded “please?” I sighed again, adjusting myself against the pillow, and began filling him in on my lunch with Sarah and Mitch.
I don’t know who fell asleep first, I just know the call was still connected when my alarm went off, soft breathing barely audible in the background. An invisible bridge between two confused minds.
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clair-de-lunne · 4 months ago
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by carajourdan
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fashionablyiconic · 16 hours ago
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Gucci - Spring/Summer 2022
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