#HMS ToriVera

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 6 - 26

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, Honor Bound 4, Honor Bound 5, and the prequel Vera.

AO3

Masterlist

Contents: PTSD, past captivity, references to being unsure of reality, thoughts of murder, self-harm themes, bad reaction to discovering self-harm, harm reduction, recovery

~

Isaac felt better already, knowing there was a locked door between him and the rest of the world. He had locked it behind Vera and Tori as they came in with tonight’s dinner: a hearty shepherd’s pie with rich bites of tender chicken, carrots, and potatoes all in a mouthwatering gravy. Once he had locked the front door, he had walked to the back door and made sure – for the second or third time since he’d gotten home – that it was still locked. It was, but it didn’t hurt to be so sure.

Edrissa had gotten into the house through the unlocked back door and then held a knife to Gavin’s throat. Isaac would have to be stupid to not check, and recheck, and check again.

Isaac sat on one side of Gavin on the couch, and Gray sat on the other. Vera, Sam, and Tori sat sandwiched on the other couch. Now that everyone was finished with dinner, Gavin leaned against Isaac’s side, and Isaac’s arm was slung over his shoulders. Gavin wasn’t shivering for the first time since they’d left the house that morning. Isaac was sated on two large slices of shepherd’s pie.

And yet, he ached to be holding his gun. The concerned glances Vera was throwing him weren’t helping.

“Thank you so much for bringing dinner,” Gray said, finally breaking the silence. “Did you make the pie, or buy it in town?”

“Bought it,” Vera said with a chuckle. “I appreciate your faith in us, but after everything… um. Recently.” She gave a stiff shrug. “Neither of us have felt like cooking.” She smiled tiredly at Tori over Sam’s head.

Gray let out a huff. “Same here,” they said gently. “But we’ve all been… through a lot. I don’t think anyone’s expecting anyone else to be out there crafting gourmet meals.”

“Except Edrissa,” Vera said tightly. “Apparently she’s been, uh… helping Meredith out. With the pies at the general store. Spending most of her time there, actually.”

“Really,” Gray said. Their tone was perfectly even.

Isaac’s hand tightened into a fist as the image of her flashed through his mind – cowering behind Gavin in that bathroom, eyes wild and streaming, clutching herself, looking terrified, as if she was the fucking victim and not the one pressing a knife to a man’s throat hard enough to draw blood just seconds before.

To Gavin’s throat.

His jaw ached and he swallowed hard. He forced himself to release his fist and brushed his lips to Gavin’s temple instead. He felt Vera’s eyes on him the whole time. He cleared his throat.

Sam wet their lips and leaned forward, seeming to sense the tension. “We’ve been keeping things as calm as possible here,” they said with a glance at Isaac. “Mostly just… sleeping.” They laughed. “All of us. Mostly Gray.”

“I don’t appreciate the accusation,” Gray said good-naturedly. “Although, god, I’ve never slept so much in my life.”

“What about you, Gavin?” Tori said softly. She reached over the back of the couch and rested a hand on Vera’s shoulder. “How are you sleeping?”

Gavin relaxed further against Isaac’s side and drew in a deep breath, thinking. “Well,” he murmured. “Better than in… than with Schiester. That’s definitely for sure. But…” Isaac bit his lip and waited for the second shoe to drop. “…it’s… sometimes hard to tell where I am. When I wake up.”

Isaac’s heart twisted. He knew all too well the things Gavin said, and fucking believed, when he wasn’t sure if he was staring at Isaac himself or merely a figment of his own imagination.

“D-don’t you want to… to punish me? …you want to, right? It’s… Isaac, it’s… it’s okay. It’s not… real, I know that. You can do… whatever you want. I can give that to you… if you want. I know it doesn’t really help you… But it’s what I have. P-please don’t stop touching me. Please… Isaac… please, this… this feels better than… a-anything he does to me.”

Shame clogged Isaac’s throat. His fingers itched for his knife. Fuck.

“Yeah,” Vera was saying. “Yeah, that’s… that’s the hardest part, I think. After. The waking up and not knowing, for a while.”

Isaac’s head snapped up. Vera held Gavin’s gaze, and he stared at her with an understanding that Isaac had never shared. Even though everyone except for Gray had been held captive, tortured, collared – what Gavin and Vera shared now was different. They had both been taken, punished by a sadist, had their minds broken down by pain and time – and drugs, in Gavin’s case. They had been kept in a basement, shackled for use because it brought a madman pleasure.

And they had both been alone.

Isaac’s hand shook as he slid it into Gavin’s and squeezed.

“Does that ever go away?” Gavin murmured, as if he had forgotten anyone else was there. Tears shone in his eyes.

“Yes,” Vera answered immediately. Then, she said, “Mostly. Months or years go by, and then you’ll have a shitty day or a bad nightmare and you’ll wake up not knowing where you are again. But the thing that matters is, it passes. And you’re always, always out once it passes.”

“Unless I get taken again,” Gavin whispered as the tears spilled over. “Like you did. Twice.” He shuddered and muffled a sob against Isaac’s shoulder.

Isaac’s arms wound around him in a trembling embrace, pulling Gavin into his lap. Vera stared at the floor, chewing on her lip.

She was taken again three times, if you count the time she went in to save Tori and killed Joseph Stormbeck to escape.

Isaac bit his tongue and shook his head to clear the thought.

“Alright, scootch over,” Tori mumbled as she crossed the living room to drop into the spot where Gavin had been sitting, gently laying a hand on Gavin where he now sat shivering on Isaac’s lap. She pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it across Gavin’s shoulders. “There, better?”

Gavin nodded with his face pressed to Isaac’s neck. His tears streamed into the neckline of Isaac’s shirt. He wrapped Gavin up again, carefully tucking him in, and glanced at Tori inquisitively.

Tori nodded at Vera. “She’s a lot more sensitive to cold when she’s in the thick of it,” she said gently. “And he’s got goosebumps.”

“No shit?” Vera said. “Is that why you always get a blanket when I’m having a bad day?”

The corner of Tori’s mouth curved up. “Yes, dear, that’s why I always get a blanket when you’re having a bad day.”

Vera raised her eyebrows. “No shit,” she mumbled.

“Schiester k-kept the basement cold,” Gavin muttered into Isaac’s neck. “If I wanted blankets I had to… t-tell him things.”

All the blood drained from Isaac’s face. “What… kinds of things?” he croaked.

“Confessions,” Gavin whimpered. “I… I don’t think most of them were true. I don’t remember. I didn’t care. I was cold. Ziegler told me most of the things I admitted to weren’t true.”

“Who the fuck is Ziegler and are we killing them?” Vera said, sitting up straight and staring at Isaac. “Someone who knew you were down there?”

“Y-yes,” Gavin managed through a particularly violent shudder. “He… he didn’t… hurt me as much. And he… let me go.”

Vera’s eyes went wide. “Like—”

“Not like Ryan,” Isaac said sternly. Tears glittered on Vera’s eyelashes. “Just a guard who decided not to kill me when I was pulling Gavin out.”

“He didn’t hurt me,” Gavin said in a small voice. “He… he could have but he… didn’t.”

“But—”

“Fair enough, Gavin,” Vera interrupted. She shot Isaac a glare. “I get it. That can be enough to keep you sane. Just one person who doesn’t want to hurt you as much as the others.”

Gavin nodded weakly against Isaac’s neck. Isaac tried to meet Vera’s glare, but she shot daggers at him and he faltered. Tori’s hand moved in small, gentle circles on Gavin’s back.

“No one’s taking you again,” Isaac whispered against Gavin’s hair. His arms shook with how hard he squeezed Gavin. “No one. You’re safe, alright? You’re… you’re safe.”

As soon as Edrissa is dealt with—

I wonder if I could get to her before anyone realizes what I’ve done—

“You’re okay, Gavin,” Tori said gently, her hair mingling with his as she leaned in close. “We’ve got you.”

“Y-yeah,” Gavin heaved, and shuddered violently. His hand wrapped around Isaac’s wrist. “Yeah. I’m out.”

Edrissa’s the one who last made him question where he was. I’m going to fucking—

“What the fuck is that?” Vera snapped from her place on the couch.

Isaac’s head shot up and he glanced around the room, ready to neutralize the threat. He met Vera’s eyes and realized she was looking at him – no, not at him.

At his arm.

The sleeve was pulled up slightly on his forearm, exposing a scar left by Gavin’s knife – and the cut he himself had made over it, not five days ago. The angry line flared red in the dim light, and it was devastatingly obvious what it was.

Isaac dragged the sleeve down over the cut, obscuring his entire hand. “Nothing,” he growled.

“Isaac, fuck,” Vera breathed. She rose from the couch and stood over Isaac, staring down at him, looking stricken. “That…” Her hand shot out and she grabbed his wrist, pulling the sleeve up to reveal the line of cuts up and down Isaac’s arm.

Isaac yanked his arm out of Vera’s grasp, cringing back into the couch. Gavin slid off his lap and partially onto Tori. Isaac couldn’t even look at Tori; he could barely bring himself to look at Vera, who stared down at him in horror.

“It’s nothing,” Isaac pleaded with a broken voice.

“Vera, let’s respect Isaac’s desire for privacy,” Gray said, a little weakly.

Isaac could feel Gavin’s gaze drilling holes into the side of his head. He blinked back tears and swallowed hard against the shame strangling him. Slowly, he opened his mouth to speak.

Vera beat him to it. “I… told you not to punish yourself,” she said. She held her hands lamely out to her sides. “You said you wouldn’t—”

“No, I didn’t,” Isaac said through his teeth. “I never said that.”

Vera shook her head. “But—”

“I wouldn’t have said that,” Isaac said. His voice was fading, cracking under the pressure of Vera’s gaze. Having Gavin so close to him, feeling all eyes in the room on him, on his arms, safely hidden again under his long sleeves, was too much to bear. He swallowed again, hoping his dinner would stay down. “I never lied to you.”

“I n-never said you did,” Vera croaked. Her hands were in fists at her sides now. “I… how long?”

Isaac shook his head. He glanced at Sam, who stared right back at him. A quiet sort of pain pinched their mouth. “I… would really rather not have this conversation,” he said thickly.

“Yeah, I bet you wouldn’t,” Vera breathed. She sniffed and lifted her chin against the tears that glittered in her eyes. “Isaac… why didn’t you tell me?”

“What, and have you react like this?” He meant to snarl the words, but they came out weak and pathetic sounding.

She nodded slowly. “You’re right,” she murmured. “That’s… that’s fair. I’m sorry, I… This isn’t… how I should be reacting.”

“Let’s everyone take a breath,” Gray said softly. “Vera, do you want to sit down?”

Vera returned to her couch on stiff legs and fell to her seat beside Sam. Isaac could breathe a little easier, without her standing over him. Gavin crawled back onto his lap and wrapped his arms around Isaac’s neck.

“Sorry,” Vera said flatly. She drew in a deep inhale and let it out in a gusty breath. “Sorry. That’s… probably the last fucking thing you needed.”

“Yeah,” Isaac said. He shrank as Gavin laid his head on his shoulder.

“Isaac, can I touch you?” Tori said. Isaac jumped, but relaxed a little when he met her eyes. Her gaze was soft, sad, but not filled with horror. Not like Vera’s. He nodded, and she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I’m really sorry,” Vera whispered. “That was… I wish I could take that back.” She wiped her eyes and sat up, taking another deep breath. “That was shitty of me.”

“No,” Isaac grumbled. His arms stung as if all the cuts were brand new. He longed to scratch at the ones that itched, but he couldn’t bear to draw any more attention to them. He swallowed tightly. “I should never have…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

“No.” Vera held up a shaking hand. “Don’t… don’t do that.” She raked her fingers through her hair and stared at the floor. “Um…”

Isaac couldn’t bring himself to say any of the things that were echoing through his head:

I know this hurts you. I know I did it because I’m weak. I know I would never have had to do it if I had just kept my family safe in the first place. I know…

He knew right where his knife was, too. Gray had taken the one he usually used, but he had another in his pack. All he would have to do is—

“Boy I wish someone else would say something,” Vera said with a broken laugh.

Gray leaned forward with a warm glance toward Isaac. “Did you hear Sam is going to be staying with us?” they said, without missing a beat. Isaac could have cried with gratitude at no longer being the subject of discussion.

Tori beamed and glanced at Sam. “I didn’t hear that! That’s so great.” Her voice was tighter than Gray’s, but it was still light. Isaac felt a wash of gratitude for her, too.

“Yeah,” Sam said. They sounded so tired. But happy, too. “Yeah, I talked to Zachariah about it and… I’m going to be staying here for a while.” They grinned at Isaac. “The foreseeable future.”

“That’s awesome,” Vera said, with only a little flatness to her voice.

“We’re definitely happy about it,” Gray said with a smile.

“It’ll be really nice to… to have you here, Sam,” Isaac croaked. He rearranged his face into what was probably a smile and willed the darkness in his chest to dissipate. “It’ll be nice to be together.” His arms tightened around Gavin as he said it.

Sam nodded, their expression brightening further. “We were worried about where I was going to sleep, but…” They patted the couch cushion next to them. “Turns out this couch is extremely comfortable. After how long we spent on the road, just about anything feels good.”

“You slept on my floor on an air mattress for months,” Tori said with a laugh. “Anything is better than that.”

“Even sleeping on the ground during winter?” Sam said with a mischievous smile. All at once, the exhaustion around their eyes faded away, and they looked like themself again. They looked like the Sam Isaac had always known.

“Depends on the winter,” Tori said. “In the south it wasn’t bad.”

“I’ll take the air mattress,” Vera interjected, raising her hand. “If I get a say.”

“Yeah, because it was on my floor,” Tori shot back with a conspiratory grin.

Everyone laughed at that, even Isaac. He felt the cold fist around his heart loosen a bit, then fall away entirely. As he looked around at the people he loved, feeling Gavin’s warm weight in his lap and Gray’s shoulder brushing his, he could breathe a little easier. He could survive another few minutes without his knife.

Perhaps he could go without it entirely, tonight. It would still be there in the morning if he needed it, and he figured he would. But… maybe then he could just hold some ice instead, if he didn’t need it too badly. What he knew for sure, though, was that he didn’t need the knife tonight.

With his family around him, alive, safe… he could go without the knife for a little longer.

Continued here

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#honor bound 6 #hurt/comfort #angst #whump #Isaac/Gavin #HMS ToriVera #PTSD #past captivity #unsure of reality #thoughts of murder #self-harm #harm reduction #recovery

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#(future) WIVES!!! #torivera #vera novak #tori nasser #honor bound #whump-tr0pes #whump aesthetics #whump #whumpee

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 5 - 11

AKA - The Beach Episode

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, Honor Bound 4, and the prequel Vera.

AO3

Content warning: migraine, emesis mention, medication side effects

~

The first thing Gavin became aware of was a faint, stabbing pain behind his left eye. His eyelids fluttered open, and he winced as the hot, dull ache stabbed through his head. He squeezed his eyes shut against the light that filtered in through the curtains and assaulted him. He groaned, his hands pulling into fists, and curled into a ball under the blanket.

“Gavin?” came Isaac’s soft, concerned murmur.

“Nnngh,” Gavin moaned, swallowing the saliva that pooled in his mouth as his stomach heaved. “H-head, agh…” He whimpered softly and winced as even the sound of his own voice seemed to crush his brain against the inside of his skull.

Cool, gentle fingers carded through Gavin’s hair, and he cracked his eyes open to see Isaac lying next to him on the pillow, his eyebrows pulled together in worry. “Another migraine?” Isaac whispered.

Gavin’s head moved a fraction on an inch in a weak nod. He blew out a slow breath between his lips. “Y-yeah,” he rasped. His eyes slid shut.

The mattress jostled as Isaac smoothly pushed himself out of bed. Gavin longed to reach out and pull Isaac back down to the bed and beg him to be held, just beg for Isaac to stay with him through what Gavin knew would be an agonizing day. He lay perfectly still, trying even to stop his own heartbeat, just to relieve the pounding ache in his head. He wet his chapped lips and curled harder into himself.

“I can go get your medicine,” Isaac whispered over the sound of clothes rustling. “The riz— the migraine meds Finn brought a few days ago. We can see if that works.”

Gavin groaned his assent and tugged helplessly on his hair. He tried, desperately, to think of what helped last time – but each beat of his heart shoved away his thoughts until all he could focus on, all he could comprehend, was the pain of each second that crept by.

The door creaked open, the sound thundering through his brain, and Gavin was alone. He trembled beneath the blanket, his skin breaking out in sweat as waves of nausea rocked through him. He rolled onto his other side and let his head hang against the edge of the mattress, just in case he had to throw up. After a long moment, the door creaked again, and Gavin could hear the sound of Isaac’s bare feet on the rug as he walked to Gavin’s side. The mattress dipped under Isaac’s weight. Gavin’s stomach lurched with the feeling, and he opened his eyes.

“Here,” Isaac whispered. He held out a light orange, oval-shaped pill in his fingers. Gavin moved to take it from him and sucked in a breath as the movement sent pain exploding through his head.

Isaac pressed his mouth into a hard line and gently held the pill to Gavin’s lips. Gavin let Isaac drop the pill into his mouth, and shivered as Isaac cupped his chin and held a glass of water to his lips. He took a long sip and slumped against the mattress again. He prayed he wouldn’t throw up the water, and the pill, before it had time to kick in. If it helped at all.

“Finn said it should kick in within an hour,” Isaac whispered.

The pain spiked through Gavin’s head at the thought of relief. “Hmmn,” he groaned. He closed his eyes and tipped his head to the touch when Isaac drew his fingers through Gavin’s hair again. That seemed to bring a hint of relief. “Wh-what…” He swallowed hard. “Do you need to go into town today?”

“No,” Isaac said softly. “No, I can stay home today. Although, when I went to get your meds, the others were talking about heading down to the lake and maybe bringing a picnic lunch. Finn and Ellis are pretty much moved into their new house. It sounds like Gray and Edrissa wanted to have a going-away party for them, even though they’ll be right down the road.” Isaac huffed out a laugh. “I think Edrissa’s going to bake a cake.”

“You should go,” Gavin groaned. “I’m… ‘m good.” He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, and sparks seemed to shoot through his head.

Isaac’s fingers paused in their path from Gavin’s temple to the back of his neck. “But I can stay here with you,” he murmured.

Gavin whimpered and reached up, lacing his fingers through Isaac’s. “But… if it’s their last d-day… fuck me, if, if it’s their last day at this house, then you sh-should… ahh…”

“But—”

“They’re your… family, Isaac.” Gavin wondered if he would be able to fall back asleep if Isaac left. Maybe, if he could lie in the dark and not move, maybe his head wouldn’t explode…

“You’re my family, too,” Isaac breathed. He squeezed Gavin’s fingers. “And you’re… you’re s-sick.”

“I’ll have plenty of migraines you can help me with,” Gavin said bitterly. “Isaac… please, go, I want you to have a, um, a g-good… Fuck, this is worse than before…” He gagged weakly. The mattress lurched as Isaac lunged for the wastebasket and thrust it under Gavin’s chin. Gavin shuddered and swallowed bile, pressing his face against the sheets. He wanted Isaac to stay, but the pain ratcheted higher, like a railroad spike being driven into his left eye socket, at the thought of Isaac missing Finn and Ellis on their last day at home. His throat clicked dryly as he swallowed. “Isaac…”

“I can get you a cold compress,” Isaac said weakly. “Would that help?”

“Um… I don’t know,” Gavin groaned, ready to scream from the pain and knowing the sound would shatter him if he did.

“Okay. I’ll go… I’ll go get one.” Isaac’s fingers slid out of Gavin’s grip, and the mattress dipped as he stood.

Gavin drifted in the pain, his heartbeat marking the time as it crawled by. He jumped when something cool pressed against the back of his neck. He hadn’t even heard Isaac come in over the pounding in his head.

Gavin sighed as the compress pushed away the pain, just a little. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Yeah,” Isaac said softly. “Do you… Gavin, if you really want me to go—”

“Once the meds start working, I’ll come out and join you,” Gavin ground out through his teeth. “Right now I just… need to focus on not… ahh…”

“Okay,” Isaac said quickly, and Gavin’s heart wrenched at the concern he could hear in his voice. “Okay. If you, um…” The compress shifted as Isaac pulled his hand away, and Gavin reached up to hold it in place. “I’ll come check on you in a few hours if you’re not out by then.”

“S-sounds like a plan,” Gavin breathed. He twisted against the sheets, desperate to find a position that would take off the pressure he could feel building in his head.

“I love you,” Isaac whispered, and Gavin felt the soft press of a kiss into his hair. His heart thudded in his chest.

“Love you, too,” Gavin whispered back. After a long moment, the soft sound of Isaac padding to the door and the creak as he shut it stabbed into Gavin’s brain like hot knives.

He whimpered softly and pressed the cold compress against the back of his own neck. It cooled his damp hair. Each heartbeat rocked through his head, each breath whooshed in and out of him, each moment crashed over him in another wave of agony. He drifted in the pain.

∴

Gavin blinked his eyes open. He squinted in the dim light filtering through the curtains and stirred beneath the sheets. The cool compress on the back of his neck made him shiver. He swallowed, and his throat felt dry.

The pain in his head was gone.

Tears of pure relief stung Gavin’s eyes. His chest swelled with gratitude for Finn and the pill that had taken away his pain. He experimentally pushed himself up off the bed. The room swam oddly around him.

He put a hand to his head and groaned. It was as if a thick fog had settled inside his brain, blunting the edges, dulling each thought. Still, his stomach felt settled, and the light no longer stabbed into his eyes. He dropped the cold compress onto the nightstand and sat up.

There was a pair of dark blue swim trunks lying at the foot of the bed.

Tears blurred Gavin’s vision all over again. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and clumsily got to his feet, wobbling slightly before he got his balance.

I don’t remember feeling this weird after.

Gavin shuffled forward and pulled the swim trunks on. After a moment, he crossed to the dresser and took out a t-shirt. He pulled it on over his head and shivered as it settled on the scars on his back. His fingers drifted over his chest, just below his right collarbone, over the scar there. His scar matched the one on Gray’s left side.

He shook his head and pushed the door open. As he wandered down the hall, the house was silent. Even as his head swam, he made his way to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He caught himself staring at himself in the mirror, his gaze flicking between the scar on the bridge of his nose, to the one on his cheek, to the one stretching from the outer corner of his left eye and up into his hairline. Isaac always kissed those scars in exactly that order. Gavin blinked and bent over his rinse out his mouth.

Gavin wandered towards the back of the house with a strange, detached feeling. It was almost as if, as he moved through the air, it was thicker than normal. He seemed to notice everything a second after it happened. He walked through the laundry room and pushed open the back door, blinking in the sudden sun.

It wasn’t quite overhead, but then – it never got that high, this far north. Even in mid-June, the sun still cast shadows at noon. Gavin stumbled out into the long grass of the backyard and wandered down towards the lake.

Gavin blinked again; the day was stunning. The sun was warm on his face, and a gentle breeze ruffled his hair, still slightly damp with his own sweat. It was just warm enough that he didn’t shiver in his t-shirt and trunks. The sun glittered on the surface of the lake, and his feet brushed through the grass as it gave way to rough, granite-gray sand. Gavin drew in a deep breath and felt a smile pull at his lips.

Down near the lake, Finn and Ellis sat on the same electric blue towel, Ellis’s legs draped over Finn’s, both of them turned towards the water. Zachariah stood waist-deep in the water, joyously fending off Edrissa and Sam as they both climbed him like a tree, Edrissa’s squeals and Sam’s laughter carrying over the water. As Gavin watched, Zachariah’s large hands closed around Edrissa’s waist and he heaved her farther into the lake. She disappeared beneath its surface with a splash and shot above the surface again, shrieking with laughter, her pale skin flushed red from the coldness of the water. She flipped her soaking wet hair over her shoulder before she clumsily swam to Zachariah and threw her arms around his neck. She planted a kiss on his cheek before he hoisted her and hurled her back into the water, laughing the whole time.

Tori and Vera stood at the edge of the water in their own bathing suits, their arms around each other’s waists. Even twenty yards away, Gavin could see how Vera’s scars stood out pale against the dark brown of her skin, and Tori’s scars shone pink over her black skin. Vera’s had faded with time. Tori’s would, too. They both laughed as Sam climbed, one-handed, onto Zachariah’s back and wrapped their legs around his waist. Zachariah ducked his head as Sam pressed a kiss to the side of his neck.

Warmth curled in Gavin’s chest at the sight of Sam, Edrissa, and Zachariah together. I was wondering when that was going to happen.

Gray sat in a lawn chair turned towards the lake with a t-shirt and shorts, and a straw hat keeping off the sun. Gavin couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled in his throat as he looked at Gray and thought, they look retired.

At the sound of his laugh, Isaac looked up from where he knelt in the sand, pawing through a basket set on top of another towel, this one a blaring yellow. Gavin felt Isaac’s gaze like a thump in his chest. His smile stretched wider as he made his way to Isaac’s side.

Gray glanced up, and Gavin realized they were holding a glass of lemonade in their hand.

All they need is a book, and the look is complete.

“Hey!” Gray said with a grin. “He lives!”

“Yeah,” Gavin mumbled, and blushed as Isaac wound an arm around Gavin’s waist and pressed a kiss to his temple. “That medicine, um, did the trick.”

Finn glanced over and perked up when they saw Gavin. “Oh, hey!” they said, gently guiding Ellis’s legs off of theirs and climbing to their feet. “You feeling better?”

“Um, yeah,” Gavin said as he looked down at his own sandy feet. “I’m a little dizzy, but…”

“Yeah, that can be a side effect,” Finn said, and chewed their lip. “You feeling anything else? Pins and needles? You drowsy?”

“Yeah, a little drowsy,” Gavin murmured. He glanced up and flushed an even more painful red when he realized Finn, Ellis, Gray, and Isaac all had their eyes on him. “Sorry I, um—”

“You should be,” Ellis sniped, and they climbed to their feet and picked up the towel. Gavin found his gaze flicking to their abdomen, hidden behind a black one-piece bathing suit. They still weren’t showing, and probably wouldn’t be for another month or two. That’s what their baby book said. He blinked and returned his gaze to their face.

“We were waiting on you to have lunch,” Ellis said with a roll of their eyes, although their cutting voice was softened by a slight smile.

“No, we weren’t,” Isaac said with a playful grimace in Ellis’s direction. He looked back at Gavin. “I was just going to come get you. You hungry?”

Gavin’s stomach grumbled. “Yeah,” he croaked. “I am, actually. Really hungry.”

“Good,” Isaac said. Gavin melted at the smile shining on Isaac’s face.

Ellis turned to the others still in the water. “Hey, young people!” they shouted. “Get your asses over here, it’s time to eat!”

Zachariah stopped mid-toss, holding Edrissa out over the water, as his head snapped towards the shore. Edrissa shrieked as he dropped her unceremoniously into the water with a laugh and began to trudge toward shore, Sam still latched on like a barnacle. Edrissa giggled as she grabbed Zachariah’s arm and let him pull her to shore.

As Zachariah reached the edge of the water, Sam slipped off his back and landed lightly in the sand. Edrissa scrambled out of the water and tucked herself under Zachariah’s arm, shivering. Her lips were blue as she turned her head and kissed his shoulder. Gavin smiled.

“Glad you’re feeling better,” Sam said through chattering teeth. They made their way over to a pile of towels beside Gray’s chair and toweled off their hair, then wrapped the towel around their shoulders. “The rizatriptan worked?”

“How come everyone can say it but me?” Isaac mumbled at Gavin’s side.

“Yeah,” Gavin said, and took another towel for him and Isaac to sit on. “Doing a lot better.” He spread out the towel next to the basket and pulled Isaac down to sit next to him. Isaac’s scars shone almost white in the sun. Gavin laced his fingers through Isaac’s.

“I spent all morning getting this ready,” Edrissa said as the knelt by the picnic and began pulling out containers of food and sandwiches wrapped in napkins. “Potato salad for everyone… Egg salad for Ellis…” She passed the sandwich to Ellis. “Turkey for Finn, PB&J for Sam, turkey for Gray, tomato mozzarella pesto for Vera, ham for Tori, double turkey for Zachariah, mozzarella pesto for me…” she murmured as she passed out each sandwich. “Chicken salad for Isaac, Gavin I made one of those for you, too…”

Gavin gratefully took the sandwich from Edrissa and pulled away the cloth napkin. His stomach growled again, and louder. Edrissa kept pulling food out of the basket. “Pickles, olives – gross, chips… these chips are really good, they’re made by this married couple in Burmingham, they fry them in peanut oil, you have to try them… cookies…” A small pile of food was spread out on the towel next to the basket. “And if anyone wants more lemonade, I can just bring the pitcher…”

“Yes please,” came the chorus of replies.

Edrissa scrambled to her feet. “I’ll go grab it,” she said.

“I’ll help,” Zachariah said with a grin.

“I’ll come, too,” Sam said as they tripped after them.

Gavin smiled and wondered how much time the three of them were going to spend actually bringing the lemonade.

As Gavin looked around at his family, he smiled even wider. Vera was laughing as she kissed Tori, and Tori’s eyes were bright, focused, clear. Gray looked more relaxed than Gavin had ever seen them. Ellis and Finn had spread out their towel again next to the food, and Ellis was swatting away Finn’s attempts to tickle them through peals of laughter.

And Isaac… Gavin allowed himself a moment to look at Isaac, and was instantly, desperately lost. Isaac stared right back at him, the look in his brown eyes making Gavin’s stomach lurch like he was falling. Isaac reached over and laced his fingers through Gavin’s. For a moment, Gavin thought his heart might burst with happiness.

Isaac leaned forward and brushed his lips against Gavin’s scars: nose, cheek, eye. Gavin turned his head and sought Isaac’s lips with his. He smiled when Isaac lingered on the kiss.

“Oh, get a room,” Ellis said good-naturedly. Gavin broke the kiss, and his cheeks blazed.

“May as well start eating,” Gray said with a laugh. “Who knows when those three will be back. Apparently getting drinks is a strenuous three-person job.”

Gavin took a bite of his sandwich as he looked out across the lake. The wind stirred the trees on the opposite shore.

Continued here

@untilthepainstarts, @womping-grounds, @free-2bmee, @quirkykayleetam, @walkingchemicalfire, @inpainandsuffering, @redwingedwhump, @burtlederp, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog, @whatwhumpcomments, @cursedscribbles, @whumpywhumper, @stxck-fxck, @omega-em-z-02, @whumps-the-word, @justwhumpitwhumpitgood, @justplainwhump, @moose-teeth, @whumpywhumper, @finder-of-rings, @inky-whump, @thatsthewhump, @orchidscript, @insanitywishes, @this-mightaswell-happen, @newandfiguringitout, @whumpkitty, @pretty-face-breaker, @cinnamonflavoredhugs, @inaridriscoll, @im-just-here-for-the-whump, @endless-whump, @grizzlie70, @oops-its-whump

#honor bound 5 #beach episode #gavin whump #migraine tw #emesis mention tw #Isaac/Gavin #medication #Fillis #the throuple #HMS ToriVera #Gray the happiest retiree #Gavin is so happy in this one #and that makes me so sad #I'm usually not one to write 'and then tragedy struck when they were happiest!' #but that's how it's work out this time I guess

[whump-tr0pes]

Y'all, I commissioned @albino-whumpee again and I am so damned glad I did. I asked them to draw my OCs Tori and Vera after Colleen's Crazy Castle, while Tori is in the middle of a flashback.

And holy shit. They perfectly captured their pain, their exhaustion, Tori's terror with Vera's despair. Their scars. Tori's hair. The way she holds onto Vera as Vera cradles her.

Gah. I am so fucking happy with this. And I can't wait until I can commission them again

#honor bound 4 #i am so glad i commissioned this #commissions #whump art #HMS ToriVera #my giiiirrrrrls

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 4 - The Final Chapter

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, and Vera.

AO3

Masterlist

~

Content warning: past noncon, death discussion, off-screen death

~

Zachariah huddled lower and lower in the seat. The car rattled as Gray drove up the bumpy driveway to the house. They put the car in park and glanced at him where he shivered. He clutched his backpack on his lap on the front seat, his knuckles white. They wet their lips and turned off the car.

“It’ll be alright, Zachariah,” they said gently.

Zachariah nodded distractedly, his eyes unfocused. “Mm-hm.”

“Hey,” Gray said softly. Zachariah brought his eyes to theirs. “I’ve already told them you’re coming. No surprises. And they won’t… won’t, ah, hurt you.”

He nodded again. “I kn-know,” he whispered.

Gray pushed out a slow breath as he looked at them. So damned young, no older than Sam. No older than Edrissa.

“What are you worried about, Zachariah?” they murmured, speaking soft and low, just like they did with their family when they all were frightened.

Zachariah gulped and blinked tears away. “I… um… I d-didn’t, um, h-hurt them. But I… I was on the team that did. I… um…” His cheeks flushed and he looked down. “I h-helped… d-drag… Isaac, his name is Isaac… into his cell, once. I’m not the one who, um, who hit him, but… I… j-just, I just… watched. And S-Simmons…” His throat worked as he tried to swallow again. Tears stood in his eyes. “S-Simmons… held a, a gun to… to Sam’s head.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Their name is… is Sam. And I did… nothing.” His hands clenched in fists around the strap of his backpack.

“Hey,” Gray soothed, and gently placed a hand on Zachariah’s shoulder. “You helped them. Right? Isaac told me you helped carry Sam to the car after they—”

“That doesn’t matter,” Zachariah whispered. “They were… they were being tortured for weeks. I wasn’t part of it but I… I knew. And I did nothing.”

Gray fell silent and pressed their lips together. Their hand stayed firm on Zachariah’s shoulder.

“They let me live,” he breathed. “And I don’t know why.”

Gray tipped their head. “My family is largely a good judge of character. I’m sure they knew—”

“They knew I was willing to work for the Stormbecks,” Zachariah whispered. “And I begged them not to kill me. That’s all they knew about me. That’s it.”

Gray chewed their lip. “That’s all true,” they said softly. “But you also told me you didn’t have a choice but to work for them.”

Zachariah looked up at the house. He shivered. “I didn’t think I’d see any of them again,” he rasped.

Gray laughed before they could stop themself. “I don’t think they expected to see you, either, if I’m honest. But I…” Gray paused. “We’ve all done bad things. All of us. But we try again. And by doing what you did in the end, to help them…”

Some of us have done far worse. They bit down on their lip.

Zachariah nodded sullenly. “Okay,” he whispered, and wiped his nose.

“And…” It’s not permanent. When we find you a permanent home…

That probably wouldn’t help anything. Gray closed their mouth and climbed out of the car. Zachariah followed, his head bent, his eyes shining with tears. He trudged behind Gray as they made their way to the front door. Gray opened the door and stepped into the house.

Everyone was in the front room. Finn and Ellis sat on a couch together, bent over the coffee table, the puzzle there momentarily forgotten as their heads snapped up, their eyes fixed on Gray. Tori sat in an armchair. Vera balanced on the arm of it, a bowl of cereal in her hand. Sam and Edrissa sat on another couch, the sides of their legs touching, their fingers laced together. Isaac stood against the doorway to the kitchen. Everyone was there, except—

Gray’s brow furrowed. “Where’s—”

Gavin walked through the doorway from the kitchen and handed Isaac a mug of tea.

Zachariah gasped. His backpack thumped to the floor in front of him. “You… you have… G-Gavin Stormbeck…”

Gray took a step back. “I… I thought you—”

Vera took a bite of her cereal. “We call him Gavin Uriah now,” she said, seemingly unbothered by Zachariah’s reaction as she crunched at the bran flakes.

Zachariah blinked and shot a glance in Vera’s direction, eyes wide, before he stared again at Gavin. “Y-you…”

“Zachariah, I thought you… you knew?” Gray said, their gaze darting between Zachariah and Gavin.

Zachariah slowly shook his head. His eyes went wider as Isaac took a small step in front of Gavin, placing his mug of tea on the kitchen table. He reached back and clasped Gavin’s hand.

“But I… you… h-he hurt you,” Zachariah breathed. “H-he raped… he tortured you.” His chest heaved with gasping breaths. “I don’t… understand…”

“He was lying,” Isaac said, the faintest hint of a growl in his voice. “He was lying so his mother would trust him. He never wanted to. He was ours, the whole time.” Gavin gazed at Isaac with a look that made Gray’s heart ache. There was trust, there. Sorrow. Love.

They blinked and took a step towards Zachariah. “I’m so sorry,” they murmured. “I thought… I would have prepared you. I thought you knew he made it out with them.”

“Everyone thinks Gavin Stormbeck died on May eleventh,” Zachariah whispered. His eyes were still riveted on Gavin. “I… how…?”

“When you helped us,” Vera said, resting the bowl on her knee while her other hand squeezed Tori’s shoulder, “Gavin was getting Ellis.” She nodded in Ellis’s direction.

Ellis waggled their fingers at Zachariah. “Nice to meet you,” they said sardonically.

“N-nice to meet you, too,” Zachariah mumbled distractedly. He blinked and looked again at Gavin. “He… h-how long… has he…?”

“Ever since I left. The first time.” Gavin spoke up from behind Isaac. He took a step forward and folded himself under Isaac’s arm.

“You… I’m so confused,” Zachariah confessed. He shivered again, wrapping his arms tightly around himself.

“He’s good, Zachariah,” Sam said softly from the couch. Zachariah whimpered softly as he finally turned his gaze on Sam. “He’s with us. He has been, the whole time. The whole t-time we were… were there.”

“Sam,” Zachariah whispered. “I… I w-wondered if you… I worried…” He wrung his hands in front of him. “How…?”

“Finn fixed me up,” they said, pride warming their voice. Finn flushed where they sat on the couch. “They’re a medic. They—”

“I know,” Zachariah mumbled. “I know they… they helped… fix you. After. I knew about that.”

Gray’s chest ached with the sadness, the guilt lacing Zachariah’s voice. Everyone was silent for a moment.

“Gray,” Isaac said softly from where he stood with Gavin. “What happened with DFS?”

Gray’s lips quirked into a smile that the nickname had caught on. They opened their mouth to speak.

“What’s… ‘DFS’?” Zachariah said, looking around, his eyebrows pulling together.

“Daniel Fucking Schiester,” everyone said at once.

Vera burst out laughing. “Yesss,” she hissed.

Gray smirked. “We aren’t, ah, fond of our fearless leader of the north. So that’s our nickname for him. Well, it was Vera’s nickname, but I see it caught on rather quickly.”

“Oh,” Zachariah said in a small voice.

Gray nodded as their gaze move over the room. “We’ll discuss what I learned today,” they said, pushing down the cold thrill of dread that welled up in them as they said it. “And after that we’ll get you cleaned up, get you some new, warm clothes. We have a spare bedroom where we’ll get you set up.” They resisted the urge to glance at Isaac. They knew he’d be blushing anyway, at the mention of the room he never slept in. It would be cleared now, prepared for Zachariah in the three hours the team had had since Gray called them to tell them they were coming.

Zachariah stood frozen with his backpack at his feet. Gray gestured into the room. “Sit anywhere,” they said gently. “We don’t bite.”

“Speak for yourself,” Ellis said with a grin.

Gray rolled their eyes. “Except for Ellis, apparently.”

“You can sit here,” Sam said from their spot on the couch. They moved over, gently maneuvering with their right arm still slinged. Zachariah stared blankly at them for a moment before he bent and grabbed his backpack. He shuffled forward and sat awkwardly on the couch, as far away from Sam as he could get.

“Sorry,” he murmured. “I’m kinda gross. Haven’t had a shower in—”

“We used to live on the road, Zach,” Vera said with a smile. “We’re used to it.”

“Um…” He wet his lips nervously. “P-please… I want to be called, um, Zachariah.”

Vera straightened. “Oh. Sorry.” She pressed her lips into an apologetic line.

Sam pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and passed it to Zachariah. He took it gratefully and pulled it around his shoulders, his eyes unfocused.

Everyone’s gazes slowly made their way back to Gray. They cleared their throat. “So, about… about the mayor.”

“Tell us all about Danny boy’s shady shit,” Vera grumbled. She took another bite of cereal.

“Well…” Gray let out a breath. “He’s, ah… he’s killing people.”

The temperature in the room dropped.

“Who?” Isaac said, his voice careful and measured. His arm tightened around Gavin’s shoulders.

“Anyone he wants,” Gray said through their teeth. “Anyone who comes through with any syndicate affiliation. And anyone who comes through with a syndicate tattoo. That’s what the screening questions are for. He’s weeding out… syndicate agents.” The words tasted bitter on Gray’s tongue.

“But…” Sam’s voice shook. “If people lie… Z-Zachariah, did you tell…?”

“It wouldn’t matter,” he whimpered. He pulled up his sleeve. The Stormbeck crest stretched across the top of his arm in black ink.

Edrissa gasped and shrank back from him. She bit her lips and squeezed Sam’s hand tighter.

“We know what it’s like,” Gray said quickly. “We know that sometimes, you only have the choice between working for the syndicates, or starving. We know that you did what you could. And we… we know you didn’t hurt any of us.”

Edrissa blinked and relaxed slightly.

Zachariah folded forward and buried his face in his hands. He shook his head and muffled a sob. “But I didn’t stop it,” he whispered. “And you…” He lifted his head and looked at Isaac. Miserable tears shone in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. “I helped them hurt you.”

“No, you didn’t,” Isaac said, his voice tight. “You helped carry me to my cell once. That’s it.”

“After they almost shot you,” Zachariah whispered. “After they… after they beat you.”

“Zachariah,” Isaac said forcefully. Zachariah flinched and glanced at the floor. “Listen. I’ve been put through enough shit to, to tell you that…” Isaac shook his head. “You didn’t hurt me. So… don’t add that to your conscience. Okay? And you… you left. You helped us.” Isaac drew Gavin even closer to his side, almost like it was an unconscious movement.

“Not soon enough,” Zachariah whispered.

“Yes, soon enough,” Sam murmured. Their hand found Edrissa’s again. Zachariah stared at the floor.

Gray cleared their throat. “As far as I know,” they said as they crossed their arms over their chest, “The people going missing are going missing because Daniel is pulling them off of their caravans.” Their throat burned with the echo of tears.

Isaac’s eyes went wide. “But… l-like Caleb…?”

Gray’s eyes fell closed. “Ah. Yes. Caleb is… is dead.”

“No,” Isaac snarled. Gray opened their eyes. Zachariah and Edrissa both flinched away from his anger. “He… that motherfucker… you’re, you’re sure?” He looked at Gray, his eyes blazing with desperation.

“I’m sure,” Gray murmured. Their voice broke. “When we helped Aryn… he was killed that afternoon.”

“Fuck me,” Vera breathed. Tori reached up and clasped her hand. Tori’s eyes were bright, focused. She looked more present than she had been in several days. And even with the appearance of Zachariah… Warring hope and despair twisted through Gray’s heart.

“We’re… g-going to do something about it, right?” Finn asked, hesitant. They squeezed Ellis’s hand. “We can’t just…”

“No,” Gray said through numb lips. “We can’t.”

“Does he know you know?” Isaac said. Darkness brewed in his eyes, trembled in his limbs. And beside him Gavin looked…

He looked terrified. But below that, there was a hardness. Gavin looked murderous.

Gray briefly wondered what it would be like to go to war against Daniel, if the team had the ingenuity of Gavin Stormbeck at their disposal.

They shook themself slightly. I will never, never ask that of him. I’ll never ask him to use himself for destruction. He’ll never have to do that again.

“Yes,” Gray said softly. “He knows. He told me himself.”

Vera scoffed. “And he thinks we’re okay with that? He thinks we’re just gonna… what… let that go?”

“I don’t think he gives a damn what we think,” Gray said heavily. “He made that perfectly clear.”

“But we’re gonna stop him… right?” Sam said. They sat up straighter. “We can’t let him just… do this.”

“No,” Gray said, clenching and unclenching their fists. “We can’t. Not now that we… know. But… he made… some very explicit threats.”

Vera rolled her eyes. “Forgive me for not considering Daniel Fucking Schiester to be oh-so-scary after we’ve destroyed the Stormbecks,” she said, not batting an eye at Gavin.

“I do,” Gray said, watching Gavin carefully. He stood beside Isaac, strong, the violence in him falling and slipping beneath the surface again. “As far as we’re concerned, he’s the most powerful person in the north. He controls the entire refugee recovery program. He holds the line, and who knows what kind of resources he could muster if he asked for them?” Gray’s gaze moved over their family. “I consider him to be just as much a threat as Joseph Stormbeck. More, maybe. Because up here, he can control our allies.”

No one spoke.

Tori raised her head to look at Vera. Vera gazed back and leaned gently against her shoulder. When Tori met Gray’s eyes, they shivered. Fire burned in her eyes, and fierceness, and everything else that had been so gone from her ever since she appeared on their doorstep weeks before.

“Fuck ‘im,” Tori murmured, and her voice sounded strong. “We can’t let him do this.”

A painful smile pulled at Gray’s mouth as they looked back at her. She held Gray’s gaze. She didn’t look away, didn’t sink back against Vera. They nodded. “No,” they murmured. “We can’t.”

“So what’s the plan?” Isaac said, tense, shaking. “How did you find out about him, anyway?” He jutted his chin at Zachariah.

“One of Daniel’s people,” Gray said, bracing for an outcry. There was none.

“Does this person know Danny is killing them?” Vera said.

“I don’t think he does, no,” Gray said. They shuffled their feet.

“Would he be willing to keep sending us people?” Finn said, sitting forward. “I mean, if we could run the same operation we ran with Tori, just funnel people north and place them with people once we find houses… I mean, DFS doesn’t control every route in, does he? Would people notice if folks started showing up farther north without being sent through DFS?”

“I don’t know,” Gray said with a shrug. “I’d have to do more research. Which means I’d have to continue helping Daniel with the screening process.”

“I don’t think that would hurt,” Isaac said tightly. “Might even catch a few that way.”

“But we’re not going to… to wait until we have that figured out, right?” Sam said, and made a small, strange motion with their right hand where it sat tied against their chest. “I mean… we can start… start saving them now, right? We don’t have to wait?”

“Mathias said he only gets a few a year,” Gray said.

“I doubt that’s all,” Isaac murmured. “I’ll bet that’s just all he finds.”

“Yeah, I bet that’s true.” Vera drew a hand through her hair.

“But we’re doing this, right?” Isaac said, his eyes flashing. “We can’t… Jesus, Gray, we’ve been up here for… for three weeks and he’s been doing this evil shit right under our noses…”

“If we all agree to it,” Gray said. “We take a vote. Because this will affect all of us. This puts all of us in danger.” They leveled their gaze at Gavin. “Especially you.”

“Don’t give a shit,” Gavin said through his teeth. “He can’t… fuck. These people coming through… I understand when it was, was me, but… these people aren’t like me.”

Isaac pulled Gavin close and pressed a kiss into his hair. Zachariah watched with his mouth open.

“I’m for it,” Ellis said softly. “But I… I don’t…” They placed their hand on their belly and held Finn’s hand tightly.

“We can distance you from the operation,” Gray said. Finn leaned forward and opened their mouth to speak. Slowly, they closed their mouth again and looked at Ellis. “Does anyone else have any concerns?”

One by one, Gray looked around the room and met everyone’s eyes. One by one, each member of their family nodded.

“Alright,” they said softly. They reached into their pocket and pulled out their phone. “We’re doing this.”

They went to Mathias’s number, still not saved in the phone. They tapped it and typed out a message:

Send us each one like him that you find. And be careful. Give me a call when you can.

They smiled gently as they slid the phone back into their pocket.

Honor Bound 5 continues here

@untilthepainstarts, @womping-grounds, @free-2bmee, @quirkykayleetam, @walkingchemicalfire, @inpainandsuffering, @redwingedwhump, @burtlederp, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog, @whatwhumpcomments, @cursedscribbles, @whumpywhumper, @stxck-fxck, @omega-em-z-02, @whumps-the-word, @justwhumpitwhumpitgood, @justplainwhump, @moose-teeth, @slaintetowhump, @finder-of-rings, @inky-whump, @thatsthewhump, @orchidscript, @insanitywishes, @this-mightaswell-happen, @newandfiguringitout, @whumpkitty, @pretty-face-breaker, @cinnamonflavoredhugs, @inaridriscoll, @im-just-here-for-the-whump, @endless-whump, @grizzlie70, @oops-its-whump

#honor bound 4 #the final chapter #jesus christ that's 5 books in exactly a year #guilt #Zachariah: a boy who needs a nap #past torture #Fillis #HMS ToriVera #Sam/Edrissa #Isaac/Gavin #Gavin Stormbeck is dead #past noncon tw #Daniel Schiester is a hero #death discussion tw #death tw #Fillis baby

[whump-tr0pes]

HB4-31/Whumptober day 9

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3.

AO3

Masterlist

~

She’s here.

Content warning: emesis, mention of dissoci@tion, PTSD, unplanned pregnancy, mention of consensual sex, description of birth, past torture

~

Ellis lurched forward, their hand covering their mouth where they sat hunched over the puzzle. They leapt to their feet and dashed from the living room.

Finn stared after them, concern pinching their mouth. They glanced at Vera where she stood in the kitchen, framed by the half-wall, a cutting board full of chopped potatoes held aloft in her hand. Tori stood at the counter. Her arms wrapped tightly around her own chest and she shrank slightly towards Vera. She looked towards the bathroom. Her eyes were fogged and distant, and her lips pressed into a thin, nervous line.

Not Tori’s worst day. At least she knew where she was today.

Finn got to their feet and made their way across the living room and down the hall towards the bedrooms, pausing just outside the bathroom door as Ellis vomited loudly into the toilet.

“Oh, babe,” Finn murmured, dropping to their knees beside Ellis and gently pulling back their short black hair from their face. “I’m so sorry.”

Ellis dry-heaved, their stomach empty after throwing up on and off for the past two days. They groaned, slumping against the toilet seat. Finn smoothed back Ellis’s sweaty hair with one hand and rubbed their back with the other.

“What the fuck,” Ellis groaned. They reached for the handle and flushed the toilet. They got up on one knee and pushed themself to their feet. Finn helped to stabilize them as they leaned over the sink and washed their mouth out.

“I’m sorry,” Finn said softly, gently rubbing their hands up and down Ellis’s arms. “I don’t know what it is… Maybe it was something you ate, but… we’ve been eating the same stuff…”

“It’s fine,” Ellis said, already sounding better. “I think that was the last of it. Although, that’s what I thought yesterday…” They drew their hand over their face. It still shone with sweat, but the color was back in their cheeks. “Sorry that’s so gross.”

“I’ll try and get more Zofran from town tomorrow,” Finn murmured, and drew Ellis into a hug. “Although I hope this is over by then.”

“Probably will be, babe,” Ellis said with an awkward shrug as they pulled out of Finn’s grasp. They gave Finn a tired smile and walked out of the bathroom, back towards the living room. “I really am feeling a lot better.” Finn followed right behind.

“Still feeling sick?” Tori said. Her voice sounded thin, frightened, but… Finn heard the shadow of the person she was before. Ever since they escaped, Tori had been slowly, slowly emerging from the wasteland that had been made of her mind. She had only been able to be coaxed out by two people: Vera, and Ellis. Under the fear, Finn could hear the person who’d kept them all safe and cared for them for months as they all recovered from Gavin. She stood in the doorway of the kitchen, her muscles pulled tight under her skin. Always ready to run. Always ready to hide, or just stand there and take the shocks.

Three weeks later, and she still had days where she waited for the shocks. Finn blinked and shook their head to clear it.

“Yeah,” Ellis griped as they crossed to the couch and sat down again. They pulled the blanket around their shoulders and took a sip of their tea.

Vera covered the pot on the stove and turned it down to a low heat. She walked to Tori’s side and wound an arm around her waist, looking into the living room at Ellis. A wry smile twisted her mouth. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were pregnant.”

Finn froze. Ellis’s head snapped up and they stared at them with wide eyes.

“Oh, fuck,” Finn breathed.

The silence pounded in Finn’s ears.

“F-Finn,” Ellis whispered. “I am late. I thought it was just the, um, the stress, but…” Their hand drifted to their stomach and rested there, almost unconsciously. Their mouth hung open, their eyes unfocused. “Yeah,” they rasped. “I’m a week late.”

The room lurched around Finn, and they thought they might throw up.

“But I…” Finn stared at Ellis, dumbfounded. “But we…” They thought back over the last three weeks, the sex they’d had every day – multiple times a day, in every position they could think of and a few Finn had never even heard of before – since they and Ellis had been reunited. They’d gone through several boxes of condoms, blushingly having to go ask Gray to bring them more with every trip into town. They’d worn a condom every single time. Finn fell back a step, looking up in confusion as the walls moved around them, zooming out and zooming in at the same time.

A bolt of realization hit them and they met Ellis’s eyes, and Finn knew they were having the exact same thought.

“The first morning,” they said at the exact same time.

“Oh, god,” Finn whimpered, tearing their hands through their hair. “Oh, god, oh, fuck, I, I don’t…”

“Holy shit,” Ellis whispered from the couch.

Finn couldn’t focus their eyes. There wasn’t enough air in the room. “Oh, god, oh, what if I, if I, oh god, I don’t know how to, to be a fucking, parent, Ellis, what are we gonna do, I… oh, holy fuck…”

Ellis appeared in front of them, and Finn clutched at their arms. “Oh, Ellis, is this… is this okay? I’m sorry, I… I didn’t… mean to…”

Their eyes focused, and they realized Ellis was grinning. More than that, their joy was radiating off of them, crinkling their eyes, pulling their lips into the biggest smile Finn had ever seen on Ellis. Suddenly, tears were streaming down Finn’s face.

“Oh, god,” they babbled, sobbing in Ellis’s arms without being sure when they actually started crying. “Oh g-god, Ellis, we, we talked about it… so long ago, and I know that… so much happened, and I don’t… I never… I didn’t think it would, would happen, and, oh, god, are we ready?” Finn fumbled for Ellis’s hands and they squeezed. Ellis’s hands were so warm, and Finn realized their hands were freezing. “I mean, is this… do we… I mean, a baby? Oh, Jesus Christ, I… I don’t know how to…”

“Finn,” Ellis said gently, tilting Finn’s chin up until they met their eyes. “Shhh.”

“Do we even have the, the facilities? I mean, risk of complication is—” Finn cut themself off with a choke, paling, their eyes going wide and staring sightlessly at Ellis. “No. No no no no no no it’s okay, it’s okay, it’ll be okay, oh my god, delivering babies is a BLS skill, delivering babies is a BLS skill…” Suddenly, ridiculously, a perfect recall of Finn’s OBGYN chapter in medic education training flashed across their vision. A cross-section diagram of a uterus, the baby drawn almost comically placid as it slid out of a disembodied pelvis – squeezing a bowling ball out of a garden hose, their mother used to say. Finn felt a sudden lash of grief, thinking about their mother and the eternal question: is she still alive?

Then, just opposite of that diagram was an actual picture of a woman giving birth, a tiny head looking absolutely massive as it poked out from between the woman’s legs, steadied in the doctor’s hands like they were handling a football. Instructor Grant had told them to skip that chapter, since it wasn’t relevant to combat medicine… but the students had flipped to it just the same, with giggles and groans as their friends whispered ‘oh my god, there’s a naked woman on page 278’, only to discover that, yes, she was naked, but she was also pushing out a bloody, purple, wrinkled baby head, who looked very upset about the whole thing.

Oh, god. I should have read that chapter. I should have read that chapter and not just looked and gotten grossed out. Oh, god, oh god, oh god, oh god…

“Finn,” Ellis murmured, and gently took Finn’s hand. They laid it gently against their abdomen, right over where the baby was growing. Just a zygote, really. Probably no bigger than a few hundred cells right now, maybe the size of a grain of sand. Maybe? God, why don’t I know this?

As Finn’s hand settled against Ellis, gently pressing against the waistband of their sweatpants, Finn stopped. Every breath, every thought, every fucking cell of blood in their veins froze in place. They could feel the warmth of Ellis’s skin through the fabric, but more than that: it was as if that little bundle of cells, that baby, Finn’s baby, was shining through, reaching its little light out for Finn, shining warmth and strength and love right into their hand and into their body. The baby inside Ellis, their baby.

Finn crumpled to their knees and wrapped their arms around Ellis’s legs.

They sobbed against Ellis’s stomach, pressing kisses against the waistband of their pants. Finn’s face shone a smile, joy flooding through them, so hot and sharp it was almost painful. Ellis’s fingers stroked through Finn’s hair and Finn leaned their cheek against Ellis’s stomach, happy tears streaming down their cheeks and soaking into the hem of Ellis’s shirt.

Ellis tilted Finn’s head up, and Finn nearly crumpled again at the look of disbelief, of fierce joy, as Ellis looked down at them. It was as if years had been shaken off their face, as if, for a moment, the pain that laced through every moment of their life was lifted.

“We made a baby,” Finn rasped, their voice breaking.

“We made a baby,” Ellis whispered back. Then they laughed, and the sound went through Finn like a knife, and they loved the ache.

Finn glanced towards the kitchen. Vera stood motionless in the doorway. One arm wrapped around Tori’s waist, and her other hand covered her mouth. Her eyes streamed tears she looked at Ellis, then Finn, then Ellis again.

Tori’s eyes were focused, her shoulders squared, her hands laced under her chin. Her eyes shone as she looked at Ellis. Then, slowly, she stepped out of the protective circle of Vera’s embrace, and walked to Ellis’s side. Finn stumbled to their feet and swayed, dizzy.

Tori placed her hands on either side of Ellis’s face, her smile matching theirs. Their hands went gently around Tori’s wrists and they laughed together a moment. Tori didn’t shrink or cringe away, but laughed, quiet joy cutting through the fog of pain that shrouded her every day. Her eyes focused entirely on Ellis, and Ellis on her. The moment hung in the air, suspended, like a glass just before it shatters on the floor. Finn sucked in a breath, waiting for the crash.

It never came. Tori threw her arms around Ellis and held them as they wept.

They felt Vera at their side and they jumped. They turned to her, stunned. Vera practically tackled them in a hug.

“Congratulations,” she murmured, and she choked up on the word.

“Oh my god,” Finn whined softly, grinning, gasping for breath.

Vera pulled away, and Tori folded into Finn’s embrace. “I’m so happy for you,” she said softly, her voice warm, steady, and even. As she leaned back, Finn’s mouth bobbed open and closed, grinning like a fool.

Then Ellis was back in their arms, and they stayed. Ellis squeezed Finn tight, nearly crushing them in their embrace, as if they were an anchor against the roaring tide in their ears. Ellis was in their arms, living, breathing, here, alive, pregnant. For three weeks, Finn had been in agony, trapped with their family but alone. For three weeks, they’d been helpless, useless, branded as a medic while the rest were collared and tortured as playthings. It was as if Finn could feel the scar on their brain.

But Ellis… Ellis was here. Ellis was alive. Finn pulled back and stared at them dazedly, disbelieving. Their hands locked around Ellis’s shirt as they pulled them closer, pressing their foreheads together so hard it almost hurt. A tear fell from their chin and into their shirt.

Finn wet their lips. “I…” Ellis leaned back, that smile still so radiant, so beautiful. Finn blinked. “I hope it looks like you. I hope… oh… I hope it has your eyes.”

“I hope it has your brain,” Ellis said softly, and kissed them on the nose. “God knows we need another genius in this family.” Ellis laughed, and there was no snark, no anger.

Finn giggled, their voice shooting up an octave. “Oh,” they whimpered. They thumbed away the tears on Ellis’s cheeks. There was something rising in their throat, words that they could barely comprehend. Words they’d never once imagined in this order:

“I’m gonna be a dad,” they whispered.

Ellis’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “Yeah, babe,” they said, and cradled Finn’s face. “You are. You’re gonna be a dad.”

Continued here

@untilthepainstarts, @womping-grounds, @free-2bmee, @quirkykayleetam, @walkingchemicalfire, @inpainandsuffering, @redwingedwhump, @burtlederp, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog, @whatwhumpcomments, @cursedscribbles, @whumpywhumper, @stxck-fxck, @omega-em-z-02, @whumps-the-word, @justwhumpitwhumpitgood, @justplainwhump, @moose-teeth, @slaintetowhump, @finder-of-rings, @inky-whump, @thatsthewhump, @orchidscript, @insanitywishes, @this-mightaswell-happen, @newandfiguringitout, @whumpkitty, @pretty-face-breaker, @cinnamonflavoredhugs, @inaridriscoll, @im-just-here-for-the-whump, @endless-whump, @grizzlie70, @oops-its-whump

#honor bound 4 #whumptober2020 #no. 22 #do these tacos taste funny to you? #OC #fic #emesis tw #mention of dissociation tw #PTSD tw #mention of consensual sex #birth description tw #past torture #Iris #IRIS! IS! HERE! #Fillis #Fillis baby #morning sickness #HMS ToriVera #delivering babies is a BLS skill

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 4 - 9

Honor Bound 4 - 9 (Taking the bullet) @badthingshappenbingo​​​

Requested by anon... and taken very metaphorically here.

~

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, and Honor Bound 3.

AO3

Cw: dissoci@tion, pain medication, self-hatred, trauma survivor blaming another survivor, death mention

~

Isaac dragged his feet as he made his way to the kitchen. The smell of meat and bread and garlic swirled around him, and his stomach growled. He hadn’t realized just how hungry he was. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had an actual hot meal.

He turned the corner into the kitchen. Gray, Edrissa, Finn, and Ellis were busily slicing bread, checking on meat in the oven, sautéing vegetables. Isaac licked his lips. His mouth watered.

“Uh, hey guys,” he said softly.

They all turned and looked at Isaac. Gray and Finn smiled at him. Edrissa’s eyes flicked to his, then down to the floor. Ellis pursed their lips and turned back to their pan of onions and peppers cooking with garlic. Isaac tore his gaze from the food and looked around for Vera. She was on the couch with Tori, her arm tight around Tori’s shoulders. Sam sat on her other side, pale, cradling their arm in its sling as they smiled tightly at Isaac.

Vera met his gaze with the shadow of a smirk before her smile fell, her gaze moving over his face, taking in the stoop of his shoulders. The shame in his eyes. Her eyebrows pulled together and she leaned forward.

Tori tensed, and Vera froze. Vera leaned back, her eyes still fixed on Isaac in a silent question.

Isaac bit his lip and shook his head. His cheeks flushed as Vera’s mouth fell open. Her gaze searched his face, a sadness in her eyes that made Isaac’s stomach churn. He stared at the floor and turned to the others.

“Can I, um, help with something?” Isaac said weakly.

“Almost done,” Gray said, their voice sounding as light as Isaac had heard it since the family had reached their house. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

Isaac flushed deeper. He heard Gavin come into the kitchen behind him. Isaac froze.

“Hi, Gavin,” Gray said, their gaze now on Ellis. Ellis’s shoulders were tense as they stirred the vegetables, turned firmly away from Gavin and Isaac.

“Hey,” Gavin said quietly. Isaac shot a glance at him. His shirt was right side out now.

Oh, shit. I didn’t even mention that to him.

“I’ll set the table,” Isaac ground out. He jerkily walked to a counter before he realized he didn’t know where the plates and silverware were. “Gray—”

“Plates are there,” Gray said as they pulled a pot roast out of the oven, set it down, and pointed to one of the cabinets above the counter. “Cups right next to them. And silverware…” They pointed to a drawer right next to Isaac’s hand. “…you were already on the right track.” They took out a knife and sliced the pot roast into large pieces

“Okay,” Isaac murmured. He pulled the drawer open and took out nine forks and knives. He turned to the other cabinet and saw Gavin already taking down the plates. Isaac met his eyes for a moment, then looked away miserably. Gavin set the plates on the counter and took down some cups as well.

“Dinner’s ready,” Gray said. They stepped away from the counter and gestured to the line of food. “Help yourselves.”

For a moment, the only sound was the vegetables still sizzling faintly in the pan. Edrissa stepped forward with a shy glance at the others. She took a plate and took a large slice of pot roast, a scoop of sautéed onions and multi-colored bell peppers, and a slice of bread. She stepped away and made her way to the table. As if a spell was broken, Finn and Ellis stepped forward and began loading their plates with food.

Isaac turned back to the living room and made his way to the couch where Tori, Vera, and Sam sat. Vera gently guided Tori to her feet. Tori’s gaze seemed to waver between here and not here, her mind threatening to disappear into a place no one else could follow. Vera’s arm tightened on Tori’s shoulder and Tori looked up, dazed.

“I’m here,” Tori said softly.

“Good,” Vera said, sounding more than a little relieved. “Let’s go eat, babe. Then we can go to bed if you want.”

“Sounds good,” Tori said as she unsteadily made her way to the kitchen.

Isaac held out a hand to Sam. “Hey Sam,” he said gently. “Need help?”

Sam cradled their right arm and shuddered, their face going pale, sweat breaking out across their skin. “Um…”

Isaac took a step closer, his eyes fixed on their face. “Your arm?”

“My everything,” Sam ground out between their teeth. Their breath came heavy. “It just… it just hurts.” They trailed off into a whimper.

Isaac looked over his shoulder at Finn, who was carrying their plate to the table, their other arm around Ellis’s shoulders. “Finn?”

Finn looked up and placed their plate on the table. “Yeah?”

“Can they… um…” Isaac swallowed hard. “Can they have another pill?”

Finn glanced into the kitchen, at the clock set into the oven. “Yeah,” they said, and pulled the bottle out of their pocket. “No problem.”

“Sam,” Isaac said softly. “Let’s get you to the table, so you can take your pill.”

Sam moved to get up and stiffened. Their whimper hit Isaac in the chest like physical pain, making his ribs ache even more with each breath.

“Um…” Sam’s hand squeezed into a fist. “I don’t think I… um… I’m not very hungry. I might just—”

“You need to eat, Sam,” Isaac said, and held out his hand again. “Come on. You need to eat, or you won’t heal.”

Sam’s lips trembled. “Isaac—”

“I’ll carry you, if that’s what you need,” Isaac said, his voice sharp. “Or I’ll take a plate to you. But you need to eat.”

Sam raised their head and met Isaac’s eyes. The dull pain there made Isaac’s stomach heave, and the familiar wash of my fault my fault my fault broke over him. He forced it down. That isn’t what they need. My hatred for myself has never helped them.

“What do you need, Sam?” Isaac murmured.

Sam’s eyes shone with tears for a moment. They blinked and looked down. “I need to stop hurting,” they huffed, the words coming out twisted.

“Okay,” Isaac said gently. “Let’s get a pill in you, and a little food, and you can lay down and go to bed if you want.”

“I can’t sleep like this,” Sam said bitterly. “I haven’t really slept.”

Isaac bit his lip as he looked down at his little sibling, his heart clenching as his gaze moved over the sling on their arm, the flakes of blood still in their hair, the dark circles under their eyes, the way they flinched slightly with every movement. He drew in a deep breath. “Well,” he said weakly, “You could always just ask Finn to tell you about the clotting cascade and that’ll put you right to sleep.”

Sam looked up at Isaac, pain still making lines around their mouth, around their eyes. Their lips slid into a smile and their shoulders shook with a weak laugh. They winced and shuddered. They took a slow breath in.

“Okay,” they said softly. “Dinner. Then the clotting cascade.”

“Let’s get you to the table,” Isaac said gently, holding out a hand. “And I’ll grab your plate.”

“Okay,” Sam said as they took Isaac’s hand and painfully pulled themself to their feet. They swayed slightly, and Isaac’s hands went to their shoulders to steady them. “Not too much, though. I’m really not that hungry.”

“No problem.” Isaac guided them gently to the table and helped them into a seat. Everyone else was already seated with their own steaming plate in front of them. “Thanks for waiting,” he mumbled.

“Of course,” Gray said, and smiled at Isaac. Isaac walked quickly to the kitchen to grab a plate for him and Sam. He placed a small slice of meat, a few peppers, and half a slice of bread on Sam’s plate. His he piled until the plate was full. He made his way back to the table and set Sam’s plate in front of them. He sat in the empty chair next to them at the end of the table. He looked up and realized he sat exactly opposite Gavin. Isaac flushed deeply and stared at his plate.

Everyone began eating at once. Next to Sam, Finn and Ellis dug into their food with an enthusiasm that was almost impressive. Sam took the pill Finn had placed at their spot and began picking weakly at their food. Vera and Tori ate quietly, unconsciously leaning towards each other. Edrissa’s gaze moved over each of them with every bite, although she shot glances down the table at Gavin every few seconds. Gavin ate with his head bowed, his eyes down, not looking at anyone else. Gray pensively watched them all.

For a while, no one spoke. The only sounds were the clink of silverware against plates, the satisfied chewing, the sound of Sam’s labored breaths. Isaac inhaled his food. The more he ate, the more he realized just how hungry he’d really been.

He was bent over his plate when Sam said quietly, “Um, Isaac?”

He paused with his fork halfway to his mouth. “Yeah?”

“Um, would you mind…” They glanced at the slice of meat, untouched.

“Oh.” Isaac’s stomach churned. My fault my fault my fault my fault—

STOP.

“Yeah,” Isaac said, and leaned over to cut the meat into bite-sized pieces.

“Thanks,” Sam said quietly, and continued eating.

Everyone was silent again for a while, the food disappearing from their plates. Isaac glanced up. Edrissa’s and Ellis’s eyes were shifted down and away from Gavin at the end of the table.

“Um,” Gavin said weakly. Isaac glanced at him. “Thank you for dinner,” he murmured.

Ellis scoffed quietly. “As if you weren’t fed the good shit when—”

“Ellis,” Vera and Gray barked at the same time.

Gray glanced at Vera and just slightly leaned back, their mouth twisting in a bittersweet half-smile. Vera turned her gaze and her fury on Ellis.

Ellis was already backpedaling. “All I’m saying is—”

“Tell me what you’re saying,” Vera snarled. “Tell me what the fuck you were going to follow that with.”

Ellis bristled, their eyes flashing. “I don’t know why the fuck you’re getting so butthurt at me,” they spat. “He’s the one who—”

“He’s the one who got us out,” Vera said fiercely, flinging a hand in Gavin’s direction. Gavin was bright red, and he stared at the table. “If not for him, we’d all still be there. He’s the only reason we escaped and if Colleen had killed him, or if he’d gotten away when they took us, we would have fucking died in that house.”

“I can go eat in my room,” Gavin said miserably, tears welling in his eyes. He stood up and reached for his plate. “I can—”

“Sit the fuck down,” Vera ground out through her teeth. “I’m not gonna set a fucking precedent of you being unwelcome with us. You’re part of this family.” Gavin sat down heavily, his eyes wide and fixed on Vera.

“He hurt Tori!” Ellis screamed, jumping to their feet. “He hurt Sam! He hurt…” Ellis swallowed thickly. “He hurt Isaac,” they hissed. “How can you defend him? How can you fucking sit there and—”

“Because I know what he did to save us!” Vera said, getting to her feet as well. “I know what he sacrificed. I know he did all that shit to make Colleen trust him. I know as soon as she did, the day she did, he got us all out. He didn’t let a suffer a moment longer than he had to. And if Colleen found out, Gavin would have died. His own mother would have killed him, and made him watch us die first.”

“How can you justify—”

“Because that’s what Ryan did!” Vera cried, and her voice twisted into a sob.

Ellis’s mouth fell shut with a snap. Their face flushed a deep red.

“Because that’s what Ryan did,” Vera said, quieter. Her eyes shone with tears. “He… he did the same fucking thing. Ryan made those sacrifices for me, too. That’s why I can defend him,” she said as she threw a glance at Gavin. “Because I know what it took for him to do that.”

Isaac turned his gaze on Gavin. Gavin trembled and kept his eyes fixed on the table.

“I’m not justifying anything,” Vera said in a wobbly, tear-filled voice. “I’m not. He hurt us, and we’ll carry those scars forever.” Vera’s gaze shifted to Tori. Tori sat back in her chair, her lips pressed together. Gavin whimpered softly. “But he…” Vera’s mouth twisted. “He did what he had to do. We all did. And he got us out. He risked his life every day, and he got us out.”

Vera sat down and swiped the tears from her eyes. She took in a deep breath and shook herself. She sniffed as she looked at the ceiling, blinking rapidly against the tears still in her eyes. Finally, she looked at Gavin.

“Thank you,” Vera said softly.

Gavin shuddered and heaved a sob. He pressed his face into his hands.

Ellis swallowed hard and sat down, their gaze fixed on the table. Finally they looked up. “I… I’m sorry,” they rasped.

Gavin shook his head, his face still buried in his hands. “No,” he whimpered. “Please don’t.”

“Gavin,” Isaac said softly. Gavin’s hands tangled in his own hair and he pulled. “Gavin,” Isaac said a little louder. Gavin lifted his head and stared at Isaac, his cheeks stained with tears. “Thank you,” Isaac murmured.

Gavin’s face twisted and he covered his mouth against a sob. “Isaac—”

“Thank you,” Sam said at Isaac’s side. They bit their lip as they looked at Gavin, their breathing shallow and harsh. Gavin raised his eyes to Sam and held their gaze desperately, like they could pull him out of the depths. He met their eyes like a man being promised salvation while teetering on the edge of hell.

“Thank you,” Finn said. Ellis pulled away from them, confusion and rage twisting their features.

“Gavin,” Tori whispered. Gavin shuddered and looked at the table again.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered.

“Th-thank you,” Tori said softly. “For not, not letting her k-kill me,” she rasped. She looked up and took Vera’s hand. “Or Vera. Or any of us.”

“Thank you, Gavin,” Gray said gently, “For saving our family.”

Edrissa looked to Gray, and then Gavin. Her mouth was a hard line. She stayed silent.

Gavin looked around the table at them all, with eyes red-rimmed and brimming with tears. Finally, his eyes returned to Isaac. Isaac felt himself burn under Gavin’s gaze.

Gavin had saved them, but he hadn’t done just that. He’d seen Isaac’s scars. He’d been with Isaac in his brokenness, touched him where he’d been hurt, held him, even though he knew what Isaac was. Isaac was beaten, and broken, and Gavin still wanted him – still loved him – anyway. Gavin had seen Isaac in his lowest moments, and he still desired Isaac.

And Isaac wanted him, too. Nothing would stop that, now. Not fear, not Gavin’s past, not the world that howled for Gavin’s blood. Now that Isaac knew it, there was no going back. He’d protect Gavin, stay by his side. He’d give his life for Gavin if it was asked of him, like Gavin tried to do for him, like he tried to do for Sam. Gavin was Isaac’s family. Gavin was the one Isaac wanted. He’d proven himself in every imaginable way.

Gavin’s eyes flicked down to the table again, and his head bowed forward. “I just…” His lips trembled and his eyes squeezed shut. “I just wish I could have done it… sooner. I wish I could have…” He took a steadying breath and raised his gaze to look around the table again. I would have taken it all if I…” He whimpered softly. “…if I could.”

“What you gave is enough,” Isaac murmured.

Gavin’s eyes snapped to Isaac’s. Isaac wet his lips to speak.

“Isaac,” Sam rasped. He tore his gaze from Gavin and looked at Sam. Their face was drawn with pain, and they held their arm against their chest. Their skin was sickly pale.

“Oh. Sam. What do you need?” He reached out to Sam and stopped inches away, unsure of where to touch them.

Sam swallowed hard. “Can you, um…” They whimpered. “I n-need to, um, go lay down. Can you help me get, um, cleaned up, and help me go to bed? I just…” They bit their lip and blew out a slow breath. “It hurts,” they whispered.

Isaac lurched to his feet. “Yeah, Sam,” he muttered. “Absolutely.” He guided them up from the table and turned them towards the hall. “Gray, is it okay if I clean up my—”

“We’ll handle it,” Gray said gently. “We’ll handle the cleanup. You help Sam.”

“Okay,” Isaac murmured. He wound his arm gently around their waist, and winced when Sam hissed at the pressure against their lash marks. Isaac helped them as they stumbled weakly to the bathroom.

Continued here

@untilthepainstarts​​​​, @womping-grounds​​​​, @free-2bmee​​​​, @quirkykayleetam​​​​, @walkingchemicalfire​​​​, @inpainandsuffering​​​​, @redwingedwhump​​​, @burtlederp​​​​, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog​​​​, @insomniacscoprio​​​​, @cursedscribbles​​​​, @whumpywhumper​​​​, @stxck-fxck​​​​, @omega-em-z-02​​​​, @whumps-the-word​​​​, @justwhumpitwhumpitgood​​​​, @justplainwhump​​​​, @moose-teeth​​​​, @slaintetowhump​​​​, @finder-of-rings​​​​, @inky-whump​​​​, @thatsthewhump​​​​, @orchidscript​​​​, @insanitywishes​​​​, @this-mightaswell-happen​​​​, @newandfiguringitout​​​​, @whumpkitty​​​​, @pretty-face-breaker​​​​, @cinnamonflavoredhugs​​​​, @inaridriscoll​​​, @im-just-here-for-the-whump​​

#honor bound 4 #bad things happen bingo #taking the bullet #whump #emotional whump #past torture #past captivity #Isaac/Gavin #two dumbasses in love #they just won't fuck guys #I'm sorry #murder bros #Vera stans #HMS ToriVera #dissociation tw #Sam whump #pain medication tw #self-hatred tw #sleep deprivation #clotting cascade tw #seriously it's so fucking complicated #edrissa: mystery girl #victim blaming tw #Gavin Uriah #death mention tw #RIP Ryan Pearson #my oc: Isaac

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 4 - 21

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3.

AO3

Cw: immediate aftermath of lashing out at a loved one while in a dissoci@tive state, emesis mention, discussion about dissoci@tion, PTSD, death mention, conversation about comparing trauma, navigating loved ones with trauma, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it mention of suicide attempt, allusion to mutual noncon

~

Vera slammed the door behind her as Finn guided her out into the yard, everything pitched a raw orange with the setting sun. Her chest was frozen, her throat spasmed shut, her lungs heaving at the sob that threatened to tear from her. She dragged her hands through her hair, knees shaking. Her stomach heaved until she thought she might vomit into the grass. She felt a shaking hand on her shoulder and lurched upright, her gaze finding Finn’s, desperate.

“She—” Vera choked and coughed on her own spit. “Sh-she—”

“She didn’t mean it,” Finn said stiffly, their hand still shaking.

“But she said it,” Vera hissed. “She… after everything she’s, she’s seen and heard, she still said, that, said that Joseph… Gavin…”

“I know,” Finn said. Their other hand went to her shoulder and they steadied her. “You know she didn’t mean it. She… a lot of us say things like that when we’re under.”

“She wasn’t under,” Vera snarled, and stepped out of Finn’s grip. “She said it herself.”

Finn pressed their lips together and pushed out a breath. “Vera…”

Vera heaved a sob and bent forward at the waist. She couldn’t… she couldn’t let it in, couldn’t let the feel of Joseph���s collar – not Colleen’s, they felt different – wrap around her throat again, couldn’t fall in, couldn’t let Tori be right, that Joseph had brainwashed her, and so had Gavin, so much so that she didn’t want to kill him, she wouldn’t, she…

Vera groaned and straightened up. No matter what Tori said, under or not, Vera knew Gavin hadn’t brainwashed her. She knew it. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t mean to, to take this out on… you…”

“You’re not,” Finn said, their voice high and strained with tears. “I know that. You’re just… upset, I know, and it’s not your fault…” They ducked into Vera’s line of sight. “And it’s not hers either. You know that.”

Vera tilted her head back, letting her tears run into her hair. The sun was almost setting behind the low hills, far in the distance across the lake, almost blocked by the trees that ringed the other side. She closed her eyes against the raw wave of pain that crashed over her, drowning her, tearing at her insides.

“She… What if she doesn’t want to be with me after this?” she whispered. It felt like a curse, speaking the words out loud, as if saying it would make it true.

Finn hung their head. “I…” They crossed their arms over their chest. “I can’t speak for, um, for Tori. But… we’ve all been so hurt, Vera. We all love… someone who’s been hurt. And… we find a way. We find a way to stay together.”

“But you don’t—”

Finn flinched and met her gaze. Their look was made only the more bitter by the shadow of acceptance, of bracing, of waiting for Vera to strike the blow. Vera bit down hard on her tongue to keep herself from saying it: you don’t understand because you weren’t hurt. No one laid a hand on you or Ellis. She shuddered. No one laid a hand on me in there, either.

Finn watched her expectantly. Vera swallowed hard and looked at the grass at her feet. “S-sorry,” she murmured.

Finn drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Vera… Isaac has almost killed people when he’s under. We all do bad shit, okay? We’ve all done bad shit because of pain.”

“But this is—”

Worse?

Vera’s jaw clenched as she looked at Finn. “You don’t.”

Finn raised an eyebrow. “I don’t… what?”

“You don’t do bad things because you’re in pain.”

Finn leaned back on their heels and bit their lip. “Um…” They glanced at the house. “My bad things are… are medical fuck-ups.” Vera could almost feel the weight of more words hanging on them.

Vera tried to crack a smile and it felt like a grimace on her lips. “And sometimes being a dick.”

“I’m… I’m an angel,” Finn said tightly, with a twisted smile. Slowly, it faded. “I also just… haven’t been hurt nearly as much as any of you.”

Vera jerked her head from side to side. “Finn. No. There’s no compar—”

“Yeah, no comparing,” Finn said bitterly. “I get that. But at some point there is the objective fact that I just haven’t been through as much as any of you.” They bit their lip and stared down at the grass.

Vera wanted to argue. She opened her mouth, but no words came. She let her mouth close.

She looked over the lake, where the clouds were fading to a warm purple. “Pain is relative,” she said finally, weakly.

Finn snorted. “Yeah, well…” They let out a gusty breath.

They stood in silence for a while as the light faded. Vera wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. Always shivering against the cold. Always longing for a blanket or a coat or a body next to her to ward it off. Always feeling the shadow of cement pressed against her bare skin if she was cold for long enough.

Finn drew in a deep breath and let it out through their lips. “Ellis… has a lot of pain.”

Vera looked at Finn steadily and waited for them to keep going. “Yeah,” she said softly after a while.

Finn’s eyes were clouded with tears. “And that’s okay. I love them, and they come with pain. That’s it. But…” They pulled their hands roughly through their hair. “I don’t know what I was going to say. It’s not like they’re ‘the damaged one’ and I’m ‘the hero who saves them.’ We’re both damaged. We’re both hurt. We all are. It’s just that sometimes…” Finn bit their lip and drew in a shaking breath. “…sometimes it hurts more than usual. And I don’t have any advice for when that happens. Sometimes I have to step away. Sometimes I have to step closer. And I don’t know what Tori needs right now.” They met Vera’s eyes. “Or what you need.”

Vera barked out a laugh, twisted with the tears that threatened. “I’d settle for a hug right now.”

Finn stepped forward and tugged Vera into a tight embrace.

Vera shuddered, her arms winding around Finn’s neck, clutching them hard. Her fingers twisted in their shirt. Her chest heaved. She ground her face into Finn’s shoulder and started to shake with painful, racking sobs.

Finn squeezed her tighter and swayed slowly with her, back and forth, back and forth. They gently rubbed her back as she gasped and wailed against Finn’s neck, her chest aching like a fist had closed on her heart and was slowly crushing it. She trembled and clung to Finn, clutching at them, hanging on like she was dangling over a cliff.

She felt wetness on her shoulder and realized Finn was crying, too.

Vera cried harder, great, open-mouthed sobs tearing from her one right after the other. Everything from the past three weeks crashed over her at once, every scream, every moment of watching Tori suffer, every moment where she heard Isaac or Sam or Finn cry and could do nothing about it. Every moment since they’d escaped weighed heavy on her, crushing her, every moment when she had to be strong for her family or they wouldn’t survive. Every moment where she’d carried Isaac as he fell apart, listened to Sam cry, felt Gavin’s hands on her throat as he tried to force her to take his life, all broke over her at once. Her lungs screamed at her as she struggled to draw a full breath.

“It’s okay,” Finn soothed. “It’s okay, Vera. We’re all safe now.”

“B-but… T-Tori, she, she, she got hurt, and I knew this would ha-happen and I, I let her come, I, I knew and I still… I was sup-posed to protect them and I didn’t, and I, I watched and, now she’s… she’s—” Vera was cut off with a racking cough. “She, no, she g-got hurt and now she’s, she’s gone and I’ll never ge-et her, her b-back and Isaac is, is s-so hurt and Gavin is, is, he’s asked me to kill him so many fucking times now—”

“What?”

“—and Sam… Sam…” Vera convulsed against Finn, dug her fingertips into their back until they winced. “S-Sam is, is, oh, god, Finn, they’re, they—” She dragged in a wheezing gasp. “They’re so fucking, ­h-hurt and I can’t stand to hear them cry and I’m so fucking glad I wasn’t here when they were screaming because I… I can’t fucking… take it!”

“I-it’s okay,” Finn murmured, shaking. “I took care of it.”

“I know,” she whimpered miserably. “I know you did. Th-thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” Finn said softly against her shoulder. They adjusted their arms where they were wrapped around Vera’s waist. “You s-said… you said Gavin has… asked you to, to kill him?”

Vera’s eyes fell shut, sending a cascade of tears down her cheeks. “Yeah,” she whispered.

She heard Finn’s throat working around a swallow. “…why?”

Vera huffed out a bitter exhale. “Because he thinks he deserves it,” she hissed. “He thinks… it’s all his fault. That he’s like his father, because of what he did to Isaac.”

Finn went still. “But he’s not—”

“It doesn’t matter what he is or isn’t,” she said through her teeth, opening her eyes and looking up at the sky, starting to twinkle with stars. “What matters is that Colleen broke him.”

“No, she didn’t,” Finn said soothingly. “She didn’t break him. He’s still Gavin. He still loves us. He almost died getting us out.”

A shiver passed over Vera’s shoulders and she pressed her mouth to her arm. “Gavin Stormbeck is dead,” she whispered against her sleeve.

Finn’s arms loosened around her and they stepped away, keeping one hand on her shoulder. “What?”

Vera’s mouth twisted. “Gavin Stormbeck is dead. He… I mean, we have to sell that, if we’re going to keep seeing Danny, but…” She shrugged jerkily. “It’s like he really did die. He’s not that person anymore. He’s… he really is Gavin Uriah now.”

“Names are powerful,” Finn said with a nod. They chewed their lip as they looked at Vera. “Why would we have to keep seeing Daniel?”

Vera scoffed and brought the neck of her shirt up to wipe her face. “Because he wants our help,” she sneered. After a moment, her expression softened. “He wants us to help him process the refugees that are going to be coming more often,” she said quietly. “He doesn’t have the manpower right now. And…” Vera shrugged, her shoulders slightly less tight. “I think it would be nice to… to help people without, um…” She wet her lips. “…giving so much.” She trailed off and wrapped her arms around herself, starting to shiver harder.

Finn nodded their head and crossed their arms over their chest. “That’s fair. And it sounds like we could really do some good with that. Even if we have to see—”

“—his royal motherfuckery—”

“—the mayor,” Finn laughed. “I honestly think it’s hilarious that not a single one of us likes him—”

“—not a single one,” Vera finished with a chuckle. The sky had faded to a dusky purple, with only a slash of pink on the horizon to show the sun had set. The moon had risen and was shimmering on the lake. Vera and Finn fell into a comfortable silence. She shivered again.

Finn glanced at her, then looked to the horizon with her. “You cold?”

Vera nodded. “Yeah. A little.”

“You want me to grab you a jacket?”

She shook her head. “Naw. I’m good. Thanks, though.”

“Okay.” Finn bit their lip, then looked back towards the house. “I can—”

“Go,” Vera said with a smile. “Go see Ellis. You two have a lot of time to catch up on.”

“No amount of time will be enough,” Finn said under their breath.

Vera’s lips quirked up, then turned down again as another wash of hurt and despair dragged at her mind like mud. She tried to hold back the tears that welled in her eyes.

“If you’re, um, okay…” Finn wet their lips, already leaning back towards the house. “I mean, if you—”

“Go on.” Vera jerked her chin at the house and tried her best to smile. “I’m good. Want to stay out here for a while.”

“If you, um…” Finn wrung their hands, awkwardly shifting their weight. “If you, um… want Ellis’s and my room tonight, we could… I mean, Ellis would probably be fine with it, we could sleep on the couches, it’s not—”

Vera held up a hand. “Thanks, Finn,” she said weakly, her voice wobbling. “If I need to, I’ll sleep on the couch tonight. But thanks for offering.”

Finn nodded and turned towards the house. “Yeah,” they murmured over their shoulder. They walked back to the house, their steps quickening until they disappeared inside.

Vera turned back to look over the lake, breathing deeply. If she doesn’t want to be with me anymore… If I let her get hurt too badly for her to want me… If she doesn’t trust me to keep her safe… She felt scraped hollow, empty, the raw edges of her hurt feeling enflamed and torn. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, letting the cold seep into her skin, cool the tears that ran slowly down her cheeks.

She heard the door to the house open behind her. She stiffened, every nerve as cold as ice. She wouldn’t let herself think it, wouldn’t let herself imagine… But it came to her mind anyway. This is where someone comes to tell me she doesn’t want me to come back. That maybe I should just sleep elsewhere for a while, maybe in the car, until she feels safe enough to see me again… The footsteps were drawing nearer.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and turned. She rocked forward with a sob as she saw Tori walking slowly towards her, her arms crossed across her chest, her face shrouded in darkness.

As Tori got closer, Vera’s heart dropped. Tori’s face was lit dimly by the moon and twisted in something that looked like grief, like shame. Her eyes were pleading, almost desperate, and shone with tears.

Vera was frozen where she stood, her lips numb and useless. She let her hands fall to her sides. Tori folded into her arms with a sob.

Continued here

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#honor bound 4 #whump #angst #recovery #HMS ToriVera #violence between family tw #violence against loved one tw #emesis mention tw #discussion of dissociation tw #PTSD tw #past captivity #death mention tw #comparing trauma tw #comfort #suicide mention tw #mutual noncon tw #Gavin Stormbeck is dead #my oc: Vera

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 4 - 1

Honor Bound 4 - 1 (On the Run) @badthingshappenbingo​​

Requested by anon.

Let me know if you want on or off the taglist!

~

This is a series. We resume from where Honor Bound 3 ended here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, and Honor Bound 3. 

AO3

Cw: dissoci@tion, briefest mention of possible suicidal ideations, blood, ketamine mention, thoughts of death, narcotics mention, past noncon mention

~

Isaac felt like he might keel over and die right in the middle of the road. His hands were tightened into fists on the wheel as he drove slowly into Crayton, just one car on his tail this time. He glanced at it in the rearview every few seconds. His throat worked around a nervous swallow as he returned his eyes to the road.

Vera sat rigid beside him. Isaac didn’t think she’d taken a breath in at least thirty seconds. Every now and then she glanced back at Tori. Tori sat slumped against the door of the car, eyes blank and unfocused, staring out into the dark. It was almost midnight. All of them had barely slept since yesterday.

They’d all caught snatches of sleep every now and then, nodding off onto the shoulders of the people next to them, jerking awake moments later with a jolt of terror. We still aren’t safe yet. We still have to get to Gray.

Ellis sat next to Tori. One hand sat gently on Tori’s hand on the seat, and the other reached back towards Finn. Finn clutched at Ellis with one hand and with the other touched Sam. On their hair, on their back, on their leg. Constantly moving. Constantly desperate to help. Constantly able to do nothing.

Isaac was almost grateful he couldn’t see Sam in the dark. He knew exactly what they would look like; they hadn’t changed in the entire drive north, starting yesterday afternoon, stretching through the night, through the entire next day, and now halfway through this night. Everyone had driven except Sam and Tori. Everyone was barely able to stay conscious. Isaac wished he could sleep and never wake up.

Even though he couldn’t see Sam, he could hear them. Hear their whimpers, their ragged breaths, their cries every time he drove over a bump. He knew the seat must be soaked in their sweat and stained with blood. Finn had stopped the bleeding in Sam’s arm at Lucy and Topher’s house, and it hadn’t started bleeding again. Their whip marks, on the other hand, had broken open and bled into the fabric of the seat as they writhed against the pain in their arm. The pain had started just a few minutes after they left the house.

���Ketamine doesn’t last very long,” Finn had offered as an explanation. As if that was all Isaac needed. As if could rest easy in that knowledge, with Sam nearly delirious with pain, the pills Finn was feeding them seeming to do almost nothing. “They’d be screaming if they didn’t have them,” Finn said. “Believe me, they’re helping.” Isaac’s chest ached with every little sound Sam made. His hands tightened further on the steering wheel.

He started slightly as Vera brushed the back of his hand with her fingers. “We’ll be okay,” she murmured. “We’ll get through. No matter what, we’ll get through.”

Isaac swallowed hard. “What if they—”

“They won’t.” Vera’s mouth hardened into a line.

“But what—”

“If they do…” Vera drew in a deep breath and pushed it out slowly. “…we’ll handle it. We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

If we have to shoot our way out of this, we’ll start a war with the north. We’ll never be safe, north or south. We’ll always have to run. We’ll always be days or moments away from being killed. How will I keep my family safe, then? How will I protect them all when the entire world wants us tortured or dead? Isaac’s eyes filled with tears. How many times will I have to try to die for them before I actually keep them safe from something?

He already knew the answer. As many as it takes.

Vera pushed his shoulder and he started again. He shot a glance at her. Her skin was almost black in the darkness, but he could see her eyes burning into him in the light coming from the headlights. “Stop it,” she said gently. “I can see you’re spiraling.”

“I’m not spiraling,” Isaac said, and consciously relaxed his hands. “I’m… um…” He shrugged. “…worried.”

Vera kept looking at him even after he looked back at the road. “Okay,” she said softly. She turned back to face the front. “Okay.”

By now, they’d passed most of the houses and were entering Crayton proper. The streets were wider, albeit still torn up, haphazardly paved. Done with the best the town could do. The gatekeepers of the north, defending all the people beyond it from the meager attempts the syndicates waged to tear them apart. No one cared about the north.

They would, if they knew where we were.

Isaac pulled into the square and slowed the car to a stop. He carefully opened his door, his hands raised. A floodlight attached to the car following them blazed on and blinded Isaac. He blinked and turned his head away from the light.

He couldn’t see past the light, but he could hear two car doors slamming, and the sound of footsteps slowly approaching. His hands shook. He tried to hold them steady. He heard a short intake of breath as two figures stepped into the floodlight.

“Are… are you… Isaac Moore?”

Isaac bit his lip. Oh, god. Please let that not be a bad thing. “Y-yeah,” he rasped.

“And you… did you really…?”

“Please,” he breathed. He motioned to the car with his head. “Please. We’ve got… we’ve got a few who are hurt. We just escaped from C-Colleen Stormbeck, and… please. We need to find Gray Uriah. They’re our family and we just need to… just need to find them.”

“Who else is with you?” the other voice asked nervously.

“My family,” Isaac said weakly, turning and gesturing to the car. The others were all slowly climbing out. All but Gavin.

Gavin’s not with us. Have to sell that. Have to make them believe it, too. He couldn’t let them know that Gavin crouched on the floor in the back seat, huddled under a blanket, probably praying just as hard as Isaac was that they wouldn’t search the car too closely.

Tori hobbled away from the car and Vera rushed to her side. Ellis got out of the car and immediately went to help Finn pull Sam out. Sam’s head lolled on their neck, sweat shining on their skin. Isaac’s stomach dropped. We need to get them help. More blood, maybe. And rest.

Isaac let his hands fall to his sides, slowly, slowly. One figure appeared in the beam of the floodlight, a gun held tight in his hands but low to the ground. Peering at the family. Nervous, but not suspicious.

Not yet.

Not helpful.

The other stepped into the light and stopped by Isaac’s side. “Did you really kill Colleen Stormbeck?” she murmured.

“Yes,” Isaac said weakly. “But we have to get to Gray Uriah… please… please…”

Isaac turned and the man was peering through the windows of their car, shining a flashlight in each one and moving on. He opened the trunk and nodded when he saw the meager supply of food the family had left over from their twenty-hour sprint to the north. He finally turned and went back to his partner’s side. They both holstered their guns.

“You were here before,” the man said. “A few weeks ago. You were going to go…”

“And we killed her,” Isaac said, desperation growing. Sam stumbled and fell against Finn’s side. They cried out weakly and staggered, nearly falling to their knees.

Isaac’s hands curled into fists. Tears threatened in his eyes. “Please,” he whispered.

The silhouettes of the man and woman looked at each other, then looked back at Isaac. The woman spoke. “…and what happened to Gavin Stormbeck?”

Isaac wet his lips and shivered in the cool night. “He’s, um, dead.”

The woman sucked in a breath through her lips. “Him, too? The entire Stormbeck family is dead?”

“He didn’t die a Stormbeck,” Isaac whimpered. “He died one of us.”

“He was never one of you,” the man snapped. “They don’t change.”

“He did,” Isaac said, a little firmer. Arguing with them is pointless. He isn’t dead. But Sam is hurt. Sam is bleeding. He shook his head. “Please,” he begged again. “Please. Gray Uriah. We just want to find them so we can recoup. Please.”

The two looked at each other again and held each other’s gaze for a long moment. The woman nodded. The man looked to Isaac and gestured with his hand to the car. “Go,” he said softly. “I know your names. I’ll get you checked in with the city hall.”

Isaac’s breath rushed out of him. “Thank you.”

The man shrugged. “If you killed Colleen Stormbeck…” He spread his hands. “…it’s the least we can do.”

Isaac wet his lips. “And… and Gray Uriah?”

The man gestured past the car, pointing north. “Keep going. They moved to a farmhouse with the young one… what was her name?”

“Edrissa Clarke,” Isaac and Vera said at the same time.

“Right,” the woman murmured. “Head north out of Crayton. They’re a few hours out still. This road will take you to Burmingham, take a right on first street there and follow that out for about twelve miles. There will be a fork. Take the right one. On the left will be a lake, and the farmhouse is just past the lake on the left.”

Isaac squeezed his eyes shut, visualizing the directions. “Take this out of Crayton, go to Burmingham, right on first, twelve miles, fork, right, pass the lake, farmhouse on the left.”

“Right.” The woman shrugged awkwardly. “So… I guess…”

Isaac was already turning to go. “Thank you,” he said in a rush. He went immediately to Sam’s side and half-carried them to the back seat. They flinched and wailed pitifully as his arm pressed against the whip marks on their back. “I’m sorry,” Isaac murmured as his eyes filled with tears.

“I-Isaac,” they whimpered. Their left hand closed on his shirt. “Isaac, it… it hurts…”

Isaac looked desperately at Finn as he helped Sam into the car. “Finn…?”

Finn shuddered and shook their head. “Can’t give more Vicodin. It has Tylenol in it, Isaac. If I overdose them, I fuck their liver. Tylenol overdoses are very hard to manage, even in the hospital. I c-can’t… help them…” Finn dissolved into a sob.

Isaac grabbed Finn and dragged them into a crushing hug. “Not your fault,” he whispered. “Not your fault. Let’s just get them to Gray. We’ll see if Gray can get them something else. Do you think they’ll need more blood?”

Finn ran a hand through their hair. “Fluids, at least,” they said, biting their lip. “Maybe blood. I don’t know. I haven’t checked a pressure in a while.”

“Let me know,” Isaac said as he stepped away. He rushed to the driver’s seat and jumped when he saw Vera already sitting there.

“I’ll drive,” she said as she stuck her thumb at the passenger seat. “It’s only a few more hours. I’ll drive.”

“Are you sure?” Isaac said weakly, already moving.

“Sure,” Vera said as Isaac appeared on the other side of the car. “No problem. Let’s just go.”

Isaac nodded slowly and pulled the door closed. Vera glanced in the rearview to make sure everyone was in, and slowly got the car rolling. Isaac thought he could see Vera’s jaw clench and he was sure she was looking at Tori.

He reached out and squeezed Vera’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “We’ll get her back.”

Vera sniffed. A tear rolled down her cheek. Then another. Finally, she said, “You don’t know that. She’s never been gone this long before. She’s never…” Vera swallowed hard, and Isaac could hear the sob she was fighting down. “She’s… god, Isaac, look at her. She’s…”

“She’s not broken,” he said gently. “Not completely. You found your way back from this. You found a way.”

Vera cast a glance back at Tori, then back to the road. “We’re all broken,” she said bitterly.

Isaac opened his mouth to protest. He closed it slowly.

She’s right, Isaac thought heavily. We are all broken. Tori’s hurt beyond repair, Ellis nearly lost their mind, Finn is eaten alive with guilt, Vera’s voice was taken away again, Gavin thinks he deserves to die for hurting us when he’s the only one who could have gotten us out, and Sam…

Isaac’s mind cried out when he thought of Sam. Over and over, unbidden, images flashed across his mind of Sam’s bruises, the lines on their back left from the whip, the marks around their neck from where they’d been dragged and pinned and strangled with the collar. Their whimpering sobs cut through him like a knife. I told Sam I hate them. I let them hurt Sam. I begged them to hurt them. They’re broken, shattered beyond repair, and it’s because of me. Scalding rage moved through his chest. This is all because of me.

He couldn’t think at all about the ways he’d been broken. He couldn’t think of his own scars, his own wounds, his own pain. He pushed it down. It was irrelevant. Unimportant. His pain meant nothing, because he was supposed to suffer for his family. That’s what he was for.

No. He pulled himself back from the edge of that cliff. I hated myself before I ever loved them. His pain meant something, because what if he wasn’t meant to hurt? What if he was meant for something else, instead?

He couldn’t think of how broken he was, because he was most broken in his mind. He was so broken, he’d gotten feelings for his one-time captor. For the man who beat him, scarred him, very nearly killed him. Very nearly killed Sam. He now felt something for the man who had changed. Who had renounced his name and his birthright, who gave up on everything he’d ever known to come be a captive and an informant on his own family. Who had found a way to be good, despite everything he’d done, everything he’d been through. He felt something now for the man that sacrificed his soul to keep his family safe. He felt something for the man that had hurt him. Violated him, on his mother’s orders. He felt something for the man he’d asked to make him feel good, to make him feel like he was being made love to, instead of being chained down and raped.

I could never love Gavin Stormbeck, Isaac thought. But I could be in love with Gavin Uriah. I could be with him, if only he wanted me, too.

Isaac swallowed hard. When they finally left Crayton, Isaac turned.

“You can come out now,” he said softly. Gavin emerged slowly from behind the seat, eyes wide and terrified. They found Isaac’s and didn’t let go until Isaac turned around to face the front.

Continued here

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#honor bound 4 #bad things happen bingo #on the run #whump #escape #past torture #dissociation tw #mention of suicidal ideations tw #Sam whump #blood tw #ketamine #murder bros #thoughts of death tw #Gavin Stormbeck is dead #narcotics mention tw #HMS ToriVera #Isaac/Gavin #mention of past noncon tw #my oc: Isaac

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 2 - 74

BLACKOUT!! @badthingshappenbingo​​​

Honor Bound 2 - 74 (more expendable than you) - requested by @my-whumpy-little-heart​​​​ and @omega-em-z-02​​​​

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

AO3

Cw: thoughts/discussion of death, noncon mention, death threats, gendered slur, death, broken bones mention, blood, gunshot wounds

~

Gavin told Isaac to count for ten minutes after he’d been taken back to his cell. Ten minutes, and the guards would be back at their posts after dropping Isaac off. Ten minutes, and then it would start. Ten minutes and the family would make a break for freedom, or die.

Isaac had ten minutes to explain the plan and convince the family to follow it. He was already seven minutes in.

“She…” Tori’s voice shook. “She said if I… if I take it off, she’ll… she’ll kill Vera, I… I can’t…”

“I know she did,” Isaac said softly, counting in his head. 434. 435. 436. “I know. But… she won’t make it here. She won’t make it in time. Gavin will beat her here and get us out.”

“I don’t trust him,” Tori whimpered. “I don’t, I don’t trust him. He’s different. He’s… he’s changed. He hurts me, I can’t… please… he hurts me…”

“I know he does, babe,” Vera said softly. “But… it’s only because he has to. If you do this, he won’t have to anymore.”

“But what if he’s lying?” Tori said weakly. “What if he really likes this? What if he just wants us for himself now, and he’s lying?”

“Tori…” Isaac’s voice broke as the flicker of a memory gripped him, a memory of Gavin’s hand gently cradling his face, pulling him close for a kiss and then pulling back at the last moment… 461. 462. 463. “He doesn’t want to hurt us. You just have to… trust me on this. Okay? I was with him last night. We were up all night planning this, going over contingencies, filling holes in the plan… If this plan doesn’t work, nothing will. Believe me. Please.”

“Why today?” Tori sobbed. “Why not weeks ago? We’ve been kept here for, for weeks, and he’s been torturing us this whole time…”

“Tori,” Vera said, a hint of firmness in her voice. “He had to. He had absolutely no choice. I know it hurts, babe, but—”

“We’re doing this now because he can help us now,” Isaac said. “He’s trusted. It’s why I got to stay with him. Colleen trusts him. She thought he’d fuck me last night, like he’s meant to.” 508. 509. 510.

“He still did,” Tori whispered.

Isaac swallowed hard. Gavin did fuck him, with Leo holding him down, Leo’s hand in his hair, Leo forcing him down to the bed as he screamed… Isaac shuddered and forced the image from his mind. He forced away the pain as his body locked down at the memory, at the feeling, of Gavin forcing himself on Isaac. Not gently, not tenderly like he had before. Gavin played the game so well that Leo believed it.

And then Gavin had nearly kissed him. Why had he pulled back? If he felt nothing for Isaac, why hold him at all? Why not push him away?

539. 540. 541. Isaac cleared his throat. “It had to be today because she’s going to kill him today.”

“And if she’s killing him today…” Sam spoke for the first time, shivering with terror, cowering towards the floor. “…then we’re dying today, too.”

“I know it’s terrifying,” Vera croaked. “I know it feels like you’re killing me. But… Tori… if this doesn’t work, I’m dying today anyway.”

“No,” Tori sobbed. “Don’t say that, don’t say that… Please…”

“If you don’t do this, I don’t get Ellis back,” Finn whimpered from their cell. “Please, Tori. I… please. This is how we get out. This has to be you.”

“Gavin’s done this for us once before,” Isaac rasped, a smile playing across his lips for a fraction of a second. “And that was back before any of us trusted him.” 553. 554. 555. Please, Tori. Please. Do this, or we miss our chance. Please.

“Tori, please,” Vera said softly. “I won’t take it off you myself. But… please. Please do it.”

Tori heaved a sob, the sound muffled by her hand. There was a rattle of chains and the sound of a body moving across the floor.

“I love you,” Tori whimpered. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Vera said back, conviction strengthening her voice, evening out the tremor. “I love you so much.”

“Okay.” A sniff. “How long do we have, Isaac?”

567. 568. 569. “Thirty seconds,” Isaac croaked.

“Oh, god,” Tori sobbed. “Oh, Vera, no no no no…”

“It’s okay, babe. I got you. Gavin’s got us. It’s okay.”

576. 577. 578.

“Vera, p-please, what if he kills you, what if he kills you…?”

“He won’t. Just breathe, babe. You can do this.”

585. 586. 587.

“I-Isaac, when…?”

“Ten. Nine.”

“Oh no, oh no, oh no…”

“Eight. Seven.”

“Okay okay okay.”

“Six. Five.”

“Oh, Vera, I love you…”

“Four. Three.”

“I love you too.”

“Two. One. Do it, Tori.”

There was a clink, and a short beep. A clatter. Tori heaved a sob.

“I took it off,” she whispered. “No no no no no, she’s gonna… Oh, god, Vera, I’m so sorry, please, no…”

“You did it, babe,” Vera said softly, pride warming her voice. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”

“You remember what I said?” Isaac said breathlessly, his heart pounding in his chest. No stopping this now. “Get to the side. Get out of sight of the door. Stand still, don’t move.”

“Yeah,” Tori breathed. There was a scramble of hands and knees on the floor. “Oh, god. Oh, shit.”

“Steady, Tori,” Isaac said gently. “You’re alright. Breathe. Slowly. In, out.”

“Right,” Tori gasped. “Breathing. Good.”

“Keep breathing. And when they come, stay perfectly silent. Stay out of the way. Don’t let them see you.”

A whimper. “Okay. I can do it.”

“You can do this,” Vera said, intensity crackling in every word.

Isaac strained his hearing to try to pick up the pounding of boots, of shouts. He knew the cell block was soundproofed. There was no point in trying to hear anything. He tried, all the same.

He jumped when the door to the hallway burst open.

Three guards jogged in and went straight for Tori and Vera’s cell, guns already drawn. Three’s better than it could have been, but more than we were hoping for. One of them was the one who had nearly shot Isaac against his sergeant’s orders. Isaac shivered as they all stopped moving, probably taking up position around Tori and Vera’s cell.

“Where the fuck is she?” one of them snarled. That was him. Simmons.

There was a clink of a chain moving against the floor. “Beats me,” came Vera’s voice. “I haven’t seen her since last night. Didn’t you guys get an alert or something?”

“Bullshit,” another snapped. “She’s probably just… hiding in that damned corner.” There was a jingle of keys.

“She’s not here to put the muzzle on me so…” The sound of keys stopped for a moment. “Come on in here. I dare you.”

Isaac had to suppress a smile. That’s right. Keep them talking. Give Gavin time.

“We put her down now, and look for the other one once she’s dead,” one of them murmured.

“Go right ahead,” Vera snapped. “That’ll help you find her.”

“Shit.” There was a rustle of uniforms. “Do we tell Mrs. Stormbeck? Or…”

Someone banged on the door to the hallway.

Isaac could have sobbed with relief. Colleen would have had someone with her with keys. He beat her, for now.

“Go see who the fuck that is.”

Simmons passed in front of Isaac and Sam’s cell with a withering glance in their direction. He holstered his weapon as he did. The door opened, and the guard gasped quietly.

“Oh. Ga— Mr. Stormbeck. What—”

“Move, Simmons.” Gavin stepped past the guard and stalked past Sam and Isaac, his face pulled into a mask of fury.

“Mr.—”

“Yeah, yeah, Mr. Stormbeck. I get it.”

“Sir, what—”

“That one’s bitch took off her collar, didn’t she?”

“Um… yes sir.”

“Fucking hell. We fucking told her…”

“Sir, we were just… did you want us to put her down here? Or take her back to your moth—”

“Fuck that,” Gavin hissed. “Jones, give me your fucking gun. I’m going to put her down. Fucking animal killed my father and put me in the hospital for weeks.”

“S-sir—”

“Jones, give me your fucking gun.”

Isaac held his breath. This worked once, with two idiots who had one gun between them. These guys are trained, and wearing body armor. Please, Gavin, please don’t miss… I can’t listen to you die when we’re so fucking close to getting out.

There was the sound of a weapon being unholstered. “Yes, sir,” the guard said heavily. Isaac let out his breath.

Simmons took a step back and into Isaac’s view. He through a poisonous look at Sam, then Isaac. “What?” he sneered. “No drama? No begging? Thank god we’ve finally beaten that shit out of you. Now—”

Bang.

Simmons jumped, his head snapping towards Gavin. He reached for his gun.

Bang.

He had the gun out of his holster and was bringing it up to shoot.

Bang.

Simmons jerked backwards and fell to the floor. Dead.

Isaac gasped. His ears rang with the sounds of the gunshots. He did it. He fucking did it.

Through the ringing in his ears, he heard the jingle of keys.

“No, no no no,” Isaac said, lunging forward against the chains. “Make sure they’re dead, Gavin. Headshots. Don’t touch the keys yet.”

A sigh. “They were headshots, Isaac.”

“Okay,” Isaac croaked. Gavin stepped into view and threw a wry glance in Isaac’s direction. “Sorry.”

Gavin yanked the keys from Simmons’ belt and went first to Isaac and Sam’s cell. Isaac felt something give way in his chest as the door swung open.

Gavin stumbled in and fell to his knees beside Isaac. He threw his arms around Isaac and buried his face in his neck.

“Isaac,” Gavin breathed. “It worked. Holy fuck…”

Isaac pressed a kiss into Gavin’s hair. His stomach lurched in the same moment. He doesn’t have to fuck me now. I don’t get to touch him like that anymore. He looked over Gavin’s shoulder and saw Sam weakly pushing themselves up to their knees. Gavin pulled back and fumbled with the keys, reaching for the shackles around Isaac’s wrists.

Isaac yanked his hand back. “No. Start with Sam. Get them out.”

“N-no, Isaac,” Sam gasped. “If more guards come, you need to… you’re more…” They winced.

Isaac’s mouth went dry. “I’m more… what?”

“I’m…” Sam panted and wrapped their arms around their chest, splinting the cracked ribs from when they’d been kicked yesterday. “I’m, um…” Their voice dropped to a whisper. “Expendable. It’s okay if I—”

Isaac all but shoved Gavin away from him. “Free them first,” he growled. His hand snapped in Sam’s direction. “Now, Gavin.”

Gavin swallowed hard and turned to Sam. He unlocked the chain from their collar. They slumped to the floor, wheezing.

“Now you,” Gavin murmured. He scrambled over to Isaac and unchained him from the wall.

Isaac leapt to his feet, trying to force down the wave of nausea and dizziness that gripped him for a moment as he stood. He stumbled out of the cell and went to one of the guards lying splayed in front of Vera and Tori’s cell. Blood was slowly leaking out of the bullet holes in their heads. His hands shook as he yanked the keys from the guard’s belt and lunged for Finn’s cell. He unlocked the door and tossed the keys inside. Finn grabbed the keys and immediately reached for the chain locked to their collar.

Isaac went to the last guard and ripped the ring of keys from his belt. He unlocked Tori and Vera’s cell and passed the keys to Tori, standing just behind the bars. He turned back to the guards and reached for the nearest one.

“Gavin,” Isaac said, his voice falling into the harsh tone it always got on missions. “There’s blood. Cover your, your nose or something.”

“Already on it,” Gavin said, his voice slightly muffled. Isaac turned and saw Gavin supporting Sam, a cloth tied around Gavin’s face. Isaac’s jaw clenched shut at how pale Sam looked, at the pain in every line of their face.

Gavin set Sam gently against the wall. “Can you stand?” Gavin said softly. Isaac blinked tears out of his eyes.

“Yeah,” Sam gasped. “I’m, I’m fine.”

Gavin crammed the ring of keys into his pocket and turned to Isaac. “You all good here?”

Isaac glanced around at the others, all free of their chains, a fierceness in each of them. Even Tori. “Yeah,” he said. “Go get Ellis.”

Gavin met Isaac’s gaze for a moment, something behind his eyes that made Isaac’s chest ache. This is the most dangerous part for him. I’m sending him back out there with no protection, no weapons… Isaac swallowed hard. He jerked the gun out of the guard’s holster and held it out to Gavin.

“Here,” Isaac said weakly. “Take this. I can’t let you—”

“We talked about this, Isaac,” Gavin said heavily. “You need that more than I do. If they find you, they’ll just shoot you dead. Me, at least…” Gavin shrugged, a choked laugh leaving his throat. “If they catch me, they won’t shoot me. They’ll just take me back to my mom. And if they catch me, it’ll be too late anyway.”

Something scratched at the back of Isaac’s mind, something about what Gavin said that didn’t sit right. Something that clenched Isaac’s gut. He opened his mouth to protest. We’ll all go together. We’ll all get Ellis out. We’ll figure something out. Please, please don’t go.

Gavin turned to leave. “I’ll get Ellis. You guys get out, get to where I told you to meet me. I’ll see you there.” He pulled the door open and ran, dragging the cloth away from his face. The door closed heavily behind him.

Isaac felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Vera at his side. She looked stronger than she had in weeks, her eyes blazing. “Come on, Isaac,” she said softly. “Let’s get them out.”

He shot a glance at Sam, sagging against the wall, sweat beading on their forehead. His throat went tight. “Yeah,” he rasped. He turned back to the guard on the floor in front of him.

“Okay,” he said, his voice a little stronger. “Three guards. Three vests. Vera, Finn, suit up. Tori and Sam, you stay behind us.” He ripped the guard’s shirt open down the front and reached for the guard’s knife. He cut the rest of the shirt off and began undoing the straps on the vest. He glanced to both sides and saw Vera and Finn doing the same.

“Babe,” Tori said softly. “Do you… I mean… do you have to…”

Vera didn’t look up. “Yeah,” she said curtly. Mission mode. “Isaac has the training, I’m ex-law enforcement, Finn’s ex—”

“Barely ex-military,” Finn snorted, a sort of fevered energy in their eyes. “Ex-military prep school? And I was bad at the military stuff.”

“Whatever,” Vera said. “We’ve got the training. We go in front.”

“But—”

Vera turned and looked at Tori. “Sam’s going to need help walking. Stay behind us. Keep your heads down. Help Sam.”

Tori bit her lip. “Okay.”

Isaac pulled the vest free and swung it up over his head, settling it over his shoulders and expertly pulling the Velcro straps tight. He grabbed the gun and checked it as Finn and Vera finished putting on their vests.

“Six rounds, plus one in the chamber,” Isaac said.

“Same,” Vera said.

“Same,” came Finn’s reply.

After another moment, Isaac yanked the belt off the guard and buckled it around his waist, sliding the guard’s knife into its sheath.

“Ready?” he said, his voice low. They all nodded. “Okay,” he said softly. “Let’s go.” He took point and pushed the door open.

Finn and Vera fell to either side of him, with Sam and Tori so close behind him he could feel them against his back. They quickly made their way down the hall.

“Left,” he said softly. He cleared the hallway, and the others followed behind. He could hear Sam’s labored breathing behind him. Each gasp punched through his own chest. He shook his head and focused on the hallway in front of him. They paused just as they were about to pass another hallway.

“Vera—”

Vera stepped out and cleared the hallway. She motioned, and they all moved silently on.

Another hallway to the right. Vera cleared it, and they moved again.

“Right here,” Isaac whispered. Again, Vera stepped out to clear it. She gasped and brought her gun up. Isaac lunged forward, his own weapon held out in front of him.

Two guards were walking quickly in their direction.

“Right,” Isaac said.

“Left,” Vera said at the same time. They both took shots. Both guards went down. Finn scrambled around the corner, their own gun held up into the hall.

“I’m sorry,” Finn panted. “I’m not—”

“It’s okay,” Vera said, her voice harsh, her eyes focused. “You’re not used to this. Isaac and I are.”

“I’m sor—”

“Hush,” Vera snapped. “Not now.”

Finn swallowed and fell silent.

They moved quickly down the hallway, sidestepping the bodies of the two guards. Sam whimpered as they passed. Isaac reached one hand behind him for a moment, searching for Sam’s. Their hand slid into his and squeezed.

They reached the end of the hallway. Isaac cleared the way left, and they all moved.

“It’s another right, then a straight shot to the doors,” Isaac hissed.

A guard rounded the corner.

Finn, Isaac, and Vera all snapped their weapons up to point at him. His hands shot straight up into the air and he fell to his knees. “Please,” he gasped. “Oh, shit, fuck, please don’t…”

Isaac swallowed hard. It was the young guard, the guard from before, one of the ones who’d dragged Isaac into his cell and trembled as he did it. He’s Sam’s age, or younger. Isaac’s hand shook around the gun.

Vera’s stance tightened as she took aim.

“No,” Isaac whispered. “He’s a fucking kid.”

The barrel of Vera’s gun dipped. She blew out a slow breath between her lips. “Gun on the floor,” she snarled at the guard.

The guard drew his weapon and placed it on the floor. He slid it towards Isaac.

Isaac snatched it off the floor and passed it behind him, not taking his eyes off the guard. “Tori,” he whispered. She took it from his hand.

“Knife, too.”

The guard drew it from its sheath and tossed it over. Vera grabbed it and passed it back to Sam.

“Please,” the guard begged. “I didn’t, I didn’t want to do this, they, they told me it was just security, they… please, no…”

Vera dragged in a gasp beside Isaac. “Shit.”

“Don’t fucking move,” Isaac growled.

“I won’t,” the guard sobbed, tears suddenly rolling down his cheeks. “The d-door is, it’s, you walk past me and take a right and it’s—”

“We know,” Isaac said darkly. “Don’t. Fucking. Move.”

“I won’t, I—” The guard glanced behind Isaac. “No no no WATCH—”

Isaac spun, keeping his weapon down so it wouldn’t point at Sam and Tori. A guard was barreling down the hall towards them, weapon drawn and pointed right at them. Isaac aimed for the guard’s center mass.

Bang.

There was a spray of blood and Sam fell back against Isaac, just as the bullet punched into Isaac’s vest. He collapsed to the floor with Sam on top of him.

Bang.

The shot came from directly above him.

Isaac couldn’t breathe. He felt like he’d been hit in the chest with a sledgehammer. The bullet had to have gone through. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe…

The world was fuzzy at the edges. Isaac dragged in a ragged breath, nearly screaming as his ribs creaked in his chest. The pain made him dizzy. His eyes rolled back in his head. Something wet was spilling into his lap. He looked down at Sam. They were covered in blood.

“SAM! NO!”

Isaac dropped the gun, his hands fumbling at Sam’s chest, at their neck, desperately searching for where the blood was coming from. He heaved a dry sob. His hands were slick with blood.

Someone pushed his hands away from Sam. “No!” Isaac screamed. “No, let me…”

There was a flash of chestnut hair and Finn pushed Isaac away again. “Let me,” Finn snapped, focused.

Finn’s hands moved over Sam, the same way Isaac had seen dozens of times. Head. Neck. Chest. Their hands stuttered and stopped as they found the bleed: the bullet had torn through Sam’s upper arm. Blood was pulsing from the wound.

“Isaac. Belt. Take everything off of it.” Finn’s voice was steady as they pressed their hand into the wound. Sam gasped and whined softly.

Isaac tore the belt off this waist and stripped it of its holster and sheath. He passed it to Finn. Finn wound it around Sam’s arm at their shoulder. They pulled it tight, then tighter, then tighter. Sam screamed. Isaac’s hands jerked towards them and then back.

“No, I need your help,” Finn said. “I’ll pull it tight. You buckle it so it stays.”

“And that’ll—”

“Not for long. But we’ve got to move. Now, Isaac.”

Isaac’s hands were wet with blood as he forced the belt to buckle around Sam’s arm. There was a black spot growing in his vision as every breath stabbed through him.

Finn’s voice was at his shoulder. “I’ll carry them. Vera—”

“I’ll cover,” she said from above Isaac, her voice shaking. “Isaac, can you walk?”

“I’ll carry…” Isaac swallowed. He swayed as he pushed himself to his feet.

“No,” Finn snapped. “Your ribs might be cracked. Not risking it. I’ve got them.” They quickly gathered Sam into their arms and lifted. Sam cried out as Finn cradled them against their chest. Sam’s skin was deathly pale.

“S-Sam,” Isaac sobbed.

“Let’s move,” Vera said. Her free hand closed around Isaac’s vest and jerked him forward. He stumbled after her as she cleared the next hallway. Tori and Finn followed behind, both supporting Sam. Just a few more steps. Just a few more steps. Isaac staggered forward, gasping.

“Gavin said… he… would have a car… said… just outside…”

“I know, Isaac,” Vera said, her voice strained. She reached the doors and shoved them open. They all rushed through and down the steps. There was a black, nondescript car at the bottom, already running. A valet stepped out of the car, a look of surprise and concern on his face. Vera took aim.

“No…” Isaac heaved.

“Necessary evil,” Vera said darkly. She took a shot. The valet jerked and toppled over into the driveway. She dashed down the stairs and pulled the car doors open for the others.

Finn and Tori stumbled on the steps and Sam nearly fell from their grasp. Sam let out a shriek of agony.

Isaac glanced up and his stomach clenched in panic. The young guard was barreling down the steps towards them. The gun Isaac had been carrying was held tight in the guard’s hand.

“V-Vera, Vera!” Isaac rasped, his voice raw. Vera turned and gasped, raising her gun to point it at the guard.

“No no no no! Don’t shoot! I…” The guard shoved the gun into his holster and raised his hands. “Just… just let me…” He knelt beside Sam and pulled them roughly into his arms.

“NO!” Isaac screamed. “No, no!” He fumbled for the gun he knew wasn’t there, he knew it was in the guard’s holster, and he was taking Sam…

The guard staggered down the steps towards the car with Sam in his arms. Isaac’s mouth fell open.

“Come on!” the guard yelled over his shoulder. “Come on, I… I want to help, please…”

“What the… fuck…” Vera breathed.

“Please,” the guard sobbed. “Please, I… I just want to, to help…”

Finn and Tori ran towards the guard and helped support Sam to the car. “We need to fucking go,” Tori hissed. “If he wants to help…”

Finn and Tori helped the guard as he carried Sam into the back seat and laid them across it. Sam whimpered, blood soaking into their clothes.

“Hey,” Vera barked at the guard. “The fuck is your name?”

“Zachariah,” the guard panted. His hands shot into the air as soon as his hands left Sam.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Vera snarled.

“H-helping,” the guard whimpered. “Please. I… I’m sorry…”

“Get the fuck out, then,” Vera snapped. Isaac glanced up at her and saw concern, not hatred. “Get the fuck out. Go back to the house. If they find you with us they’ll kill you. Go. Now.”

The guard fell backwards out of the car and scrambled up the steps. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry… I… I don’t want to be this anymore,” he sobbed.

Vera paused and looked at him, her eyes shining with tears. “Then head north,” she said heavily. “Keep heading north until there are no syndicates. You’ll reach a town. You’ll know you’re there, trust me. Tell them you’re a refugee and we sent you. You know our names?”

“Yes,” the guard breathed. “Thank you.” He turned and ran back into the house.

Isaac stumbled down the rest of the stairs. He eased himself into the middle seat and immediately reached back for Sam.

“Finn,” he gasped. “How do we, how…”

“I don’t know,” Finn said, their voice on the edge of a sob. “I don’t know. But we’ve got to switch out this tourniquet. And I… they’ve lost so much blood already, I… I need to…” Finn’s voice broke. “I can’t fix this without my med kit…”

Isaac turned his gaze back to the house, his vision blurred with tears. Sam was dying, and Gavin might be dead. If we go, can Finn save Sam? We’re hundreds of miles from friendly territory. And… Isaac’s stomach heaved with the amount of blood on Sam’s clothes, on his, soaking into the seat of the car. Finn can’t fix this here. But if we go, if we go, if we go…

“We just have to… wait for… Gavin and Ellis,” Isaac said almost to himself, his chest aching with each word. “They… they just have to… to make it out. And then we can go.”

Continued here

@untilthepainstarts​​​, @womping-grounds​​​, @free-2bmee​​​, @quirkykayleetam​​​, @walkingchemicalfire​​​, @inpainandsuffering​​​, @redwingedwhump​​​, @burtlederp​​​, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog​​​, @insomniacscoprio​​​, @cursedscribbles​​​, @whumpywhumper​​​, @stxck-fxck​​​, @omega-em-z-02​​​, @whumps-the-word​​​, @slaintetowhump​​​, @finder-of-rings​​​, @cinnamonflavoredhugs​​​, @thatsthewhump​​​, @im-just-here-for-the-whump​​​, @orchidscript​​​, @this-mightaswell-happen​​​, @newandfiguringitout​​​, @whumpkitty​​​, @pretty-face-breaker​​​

#honor bound 2 #bad things happen bingo #more expendable than you #whump #torture #captivity #escape #it's heeeeere #Isaac/Gavin #mutual pining #HMS ToriVera #death discussion tw #Gavin Uriah is dead #noncon mention tw #Fillis #broken whumpee #shock collar #murder bros #gendered slurs tw #death threats tw #death tw #angst #collared and chained #broken bones #blood tw #Sam whump #YOU WANT THE SAM WHUMP I GIVE THE SAM WHUMP #in memory of Ryan Pearson #Zachariah #my oc: Isaac

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 2 - 70

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound. 

AO3

Cw:  dissoci@tion (kinda the point of the whole chapter), noncon mention, thoughts of death

Note: so... some of y’all picked up on the fact that Leo left his knife in Finn’s cell... that was honestly an oopsie by me. I forgot about it, and it isn’t part of the plan. It’ll be fixed in editing lol. Good eye!!

-

“Tori?”

Tori jerked. Her eyes suddenly focused. Vera was on her knees in front of her, her eyebrows pulled together in concern. Tori shuddered and licked her lips.

“Yeah?” Tori croaked.

Vera’s mouth twisted. “Where’d you just go?”

“Um…” Tori cleared her throat. Nowhere. I went nowhere, because today I found a place inside me where I can go and no one can follow, not even the collar. She slipped towards it again, like ice melting, like butter sliding down a pan. Easy. Almost effortless. Her eyes slid shut, and she took a step to the side of her body.

“F-fuck,” Vera whispered, and Tori’s eyes flew open again, the sound silent and yet echoing through her mind.

“What?” Tori croaked. “I’m—”

“You’re leaving,” Vera whispered.

I am? I’m just going away. It’s no big deal. It hurts. I don’t want to stay.

“Um…”

Vera sucked in a deep breath and sat back on her heels. “Okay,” she whispered. “Okay okay okay okay okay…” She rocked forward and backward, pushing out slow breaths between her lips. “Okay. Okay. That’s okay.”

Tori rolled her eyes, her body wavering between real and not, between here and there… “It’s not a big deal,” Tori said flatly.

Vera froze and fixed Tori with a stare. It was the realest Tori’d felt all day.

“It’s not a big deal?” Vera said, terror simmering just below the forced calm. “It’s a big deal,” she said softly. “This is a big deal.”

Tori shrugged. The chain attached to her c—

NO.

The chain attached to her rattled a little. “It doesn’t hurt so much now.”

Vera’s eyes filled with tears. “I…” She cleared her throat. “I, um…” Her head dipped forward and she stared at the floor. “I don’t want you to hurt,” she finally managed.

“Good.” Tori wasn’t sure what she meant by that. But it didn’t matter, none of this mattered. It was just bullshit.

It’s just pain.

“T-Tori, I…” Vera stated at Tori, beseeching. “Please, can I… can I touch you?”

Tori shrugged again. She wasn’t sure how, she wasn’t exactly at the wheel anymore, but it happened. “Sure,” she said flatly. She didn’t move.

Vera crawled forward until the chain around her col—

NO.

Until the chain attached to her pulled tight. “Tori,” Vera said gently, as if she was straining not to scream, “Can you come a little closer?”

“Sure,” Tori said in a dry monotone. “Whatever you want.”

Vera flinched, and for a moment Tori felt guilty. I don’t need to be such an asshole. It’s not her fault. I just don’t want to be around. Tori crawled forward until the coll—

NO NO NO.

Tori crawled forward until she couldn’t anymore. She slumped to her side, then just kept going until she was stretched out on the floor. Standing beside herself. Looking down at herself with a completely detached sort of curiosity.

She felt fingers in her hair, so far away it was almost like she was imagining it. Like she was remembering a dream of it. She let her eyes slide closed and sighed.

“There you go,” Vera crooned. “Come back to me. It’s okay. There’s no pain here right now.”

“I’d rather not,” Tori said softly. “I’m okay like this.”

A sniffle. “Okay. But… Tori, it’s…” A slight, sharp intake of breath. Of shame, maybe. Tori couldn’t tell. She took in a breath. I don’t know if it matters why.

Nothing fucking matters. I’m just glad I don’t hurt. Numb is good.

“T-Tori,” Vera murmured. Tori thought about raising her head to look at Vera. Something about the tone of Vera’s voice tickled something in the back of Tori’s mind. “Tori,” Vera said again, her voice a little more stable. “It’s… it’s okay for you to go away when he’s… um…” The sound of Vera swallowing filled the cell for a moment. “It’s, um, okay for you to go. But when he’s not hurting you, you need to… um… come back. You need to find your way back between the pain or eventually you don’t come back at all.”

“That’s fine,” Tori said, her voice brittle and flat. “That’s totally fine with me.”

A sob. “Tori…” The sound of chains rattling. “Tori… please…”

The hand in her hair pressed deeper, massaged her scalp, ran fingernails through her hair and over her skin. It felt… good.

No. Don’t bring me back with that. Tori shuddered.

“Don’t,” Tori ground out between clenched teeth. “Don’t.”

The hand immediately withdrew. “I’m sorry,” Vera whispered. “I’m just… Tori, please…”

Something welled up inside Tori, something she didn’t want to feel. She couldn’t. She slipped a little further down. “No,” she whimpered. “Please… Vera, don’t… Don’t bring me back, please…”

“I have to, babe,” Vera rasped. “I have to.”

“Why?” Tori sobbed, and pressed her face into the concrete floor. She felt pressure, but not the sensation of the concrete on her skin. She grabbed the feeling with both hands and shoved it down where all the pain went, deep inside her chest, so she could float without it.

“B-because…” For the first time, Tori looked up at Vera. Her lips were quivering. Tears ran freely down her face.

Something deep inside Tori cracked, moved just a little. Oh, no. That’s where the pain lives. Please, Vera, please don’t bring it back.

“…because I love you, babe,” Vera whispered. “And I don’t want to leave you where you are. I want to bring you back to me, so I don’t lose you.”

“I never fully understood why you went away,” Tori said softly, staring blankly at the floor a few inches away from her face. “Like, I understood the memories would come back and you’d get lost in those, but I never fully got why you just… left.” Tori laughed once, a broken sound. “Now I do. It’s easier here. It’s much, much easier.”

“Oh my god,” Vera breathed. Tori’s gaze flicked up to Vera. Vera sagged forward, pressing her face into her hands. Something stirred in Tori again, something she used to feel. Maybe a week ago, maybe a lifetime ago. She wasn’t sure, and it didn’t matter. She wasn’t sure what it was, but it felt like… like a thread, stretched from Tori’s heart to Vera’s, pulling so tight it hurt. All Tori wanted to do was cut the thread. Why can’t I just stay here without people trying to pull me back? Gavin doesn’t like me to dissociate either. Why can’t people just leave me alone to go where the pain isn’t?

“Tori,” Vera ventured quietly, “There’s no pain here. You’re not being tor—” Vera cut off with a choke. “You’re not being, um… put in, in pain, so… can you please… just…” Vera’s hand lurched forward and she snatched it back, biting her lip. “Can you please just come back? Just for a minute. And then if you… if it’s too much, you can… you can go.”

Tori sighed. “Promise?”

“Yes,” Vera whimpered. “I… I promise.”

Tori cowered against the floor, momentarily overwhelmed with a bone-crushing dread. No. Oh, no, I can’t go where the pain is, I don’t want to, please, please no, please don’t make me…

“Can I touch you?” Vera murmured.

“Yeah,” came the choked reply.

Vera slid her hand into Tori’s. Tori gripped her like her life depended on it, her intention suddenly flowing back into that arm, into that hand. Hold on to Vera. She told her body that, and it obeyed.

Breathe. I have to tell my body to breathe now.

She did, in and out, slowly, so slowly, coming out from underneath the blanket of nothing she’d been nestled under. It was bright, it was so fucking bright in here, in her body. The fluorescent lights and their constant hummmmm over her head threatened to break her, to drive her completely fucking insane.

And her neck hurt. Jesus fucking Christ, it hurt. It ached with every breath, burned with every single movement she made. The muscles in her neck spasmed and shuddered against where the coll—

NO PLEASE.

Have to be good for Vera.

Have to come back.

Collar. There’s a collar around my neck.

“There you go, Tori,” Vera said softly next to her. “There you go. Come back to me. I know it hurts.”

Someone’s sobs were echoing off the walls. Tori wished it would stop, the sounds were driving nails into her head. It’s not their fault if they’re crying. Isaac’s being raped, Sam’s being passed around like everyone’s personal punching bag, Finn has to watch us fall apart and now they know before they die, Leo’s going to rape them, too. I can’t blame them from crying. I just wish they would stop.

“You’re okay,” Vera soothed. Tori tried to tell her she was fine, that she didn’t need her help, but someone was just fucking crying. It wouldn’t stop. Her chest hurt and her face was wet and she couldn’t stop shaking but god please please please make the crying stop.

“Breathe…”

“I AM BREATHING!” Tori shrieked, lurching upright, clumsy in her body still. Vera flinched back. “Ahh, fuck…” Tori wobbled and fell back onto her side, clutching her head in her hands. Her fingers tangled in her hair and she pulled, so hard she could almost feel the strands break. She panted, hard, every exhale coming out as a sob.

“Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god OH GOD FUCK!” Tori’s body was wracked with pain, shuddering waves of it breaking over her over and over and over until she felt like she might be sick. Her bones ached, her muscles twinged from the shocks pushed through her body at Gavin’s command. Her throat hurt, her throat burned, raw skin where the prongs sat tight against her throat, and pain with every turn of her head. Her body was pain, and nothing else.

“Tori, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Vera urged beside her. “I’m right here. I’ll help you through it. Okay? I know it hurts. I—” Vera choked out a sob. “I know. But I’m right here. Hold onto me if you need to.”

Tori’s hand shot out blindly, feeling for Vera, for an anchor, anything to remind her there was something in the world that wasn’t pain.

Something in the world that wasn’t pain, and rage.

“Fuck Gavin,” Tori whispered through vocal cords that felt scraped raw. “Fuck Gavin, fuck Gavin. He does this to us. He… he hurts us, he rapes Isaac, then he sleeps in his fucking bed and eats his mother’s fucking food and he gets to wander around and he doesn’t get to wear a collar and he doesn’t do anything to help us fuck him so fucking much, I hate him, I hate him, Vera…” Tori turned her gaze up to Vera, eyes wide and red with crying. “Can you kill him?” she whispered desperately.

Vera’s eyes fell shut and she dragged in a noisy breath. “Tori…”

“Please.” Tori clutched at Vera’s hands. “Can you kill him? Please. Next time he t-takes us… Please, Vera, please, just kill him so he can’t hurt me anymore.”

Vera bit her lip. “Tori, I… I can’t… He’s our only chance to get out of here. Our only chance. We just have to wait until his… mom…” Vera sobbed and pressed her face against her arm, her hands still clutching Tori’s.

“But… Vera, please, I don’t want to wait, I don’t want to, I don’t want to hurt, Vera, please…”

“Tori.” Tori’s heart sank at the tone of Vera’s voice. “I can’t. It’s not his fault. He’s trapped, too. You think he likes this? You think he likes hurting us?”

“He did before,” Tori said weakly. “When he put a co— a coll— when he put this on me…” Tori rested her head against the floor. “He liked it, before.”

“But he doesn’t now,” Vera said softly. “I swear, he doesn’t. I watch him. It tears him apart to hurt us. It makes him want to die, Tori. I can’t kill him. He’s going to get us out, as soon as he’s trusted.”

“I want you to kill him,” Tori whimpered against the floor.

“Tori…” Vera’s lips quivered. “He’s… he’s our family.”

“I’m your family,” Tori whispered. “He… he hurts me, Vera. Over and over and over…”

“I know,” Vera said, her voice twisted in a kind of agony that touched Tori, too. “I know, babe. But… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I know it’s unfair to ask you to take this, but… I would take it all myself, I would, please, babe…”

“I know you would,” Tori whimpered.

“So… Vera sobbed. “Please, Tori, please… I… It fucking kills me to ask you this but… please… hold on just… a little longer, please… He’ll get us out. I know he will.”

“How do you know?” wailed Tori. The sound echoed through the cell.

Vera shivered, then swallowed hard, forcing something down as she looked at Tori. “Because…” Vera said softly, “She stopped calling him Gavin Stormbeck. Now she just calls him Gavin. She doesn’t need to remind him of who he is anymore. She thinks he already knows.”

Continued here

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#honor bound 2 #whump #torture #captivity #dissociation tw #HMS ToriVera #apathy #shock collar #collared and chained #grounding exercise #noncon mention tw #Gavin Uriah is dead #begging #thoughts of death tw #my oc: Tori

[whump-tr0pes]

A sneak peek at Honor Bound 2... and a brand new faceclaim

“Yeah,” Tori said, cuddling closer to Vera. “We’ll go south and kill Colleen. And when we get back, I’ll have a little safehouse, close to Gray, with maybe a little garden in back, and, and we could get a dog—”

“A German shepherd?” Vera said softly. A baffling wave of longing washed over her, and tears came to her eyes. She shook her head to clear it.

“Yeah,” Tori said, and Vera could hear a smile in her voice. “Yeah. A German shepherd. And… maybe chickens. We’ll have a huge house and we’ll help people and… and we’ll be together.”

“Yeah,” Vera whispered. The image in her mind felt as sharp as any pain, a fierce joy that her body could barely contain. “Yeah. We’ll have all those things.”

~

and...

the pup herself

#honor bound 2 #sneak peek #HMS ToriVera #this makes me fucking sad y'all