#do these tacos taste funny to you?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes

I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.

Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.

A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.

C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.

Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.

My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.

While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.

To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #one of the submissions of all time #the dj crazytimes saga

[marchsfreakshow]

Gotta Dance! [Peter Maximoff]

Fluff//drabble

You like to dance to yourself to whatever cassette you had in your walkman, and when a silver haired friend of yours finds you, he decides to just have a bit of fun.

Omg okay I finished 3 xmen movies with Maximoff in em, and gah I understand why people love him now. Heres a fic.

I made it decently time accurate I think so tell me if there are any inaccuracies.

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Peter was always one to dance if he had a chance, especially to his own music taste. Classical or fancy music was always too slow.

So why on earth was he staring at you through a window? Watching you move around the empty hall, at 1am in the dark. Music in your headphones, blasting at a volume that could've burst anyone's eardrums. Yet, he couldn't tell the song playing in your ears. All he could tell was that he liked the way you moved. Swift movements, like an audience being danced around, walking around your footsteps. You were in your own mind, not particularly caring if anyone else was awake. If someone was, it was probably Charles, attempting some work.

A new pair of footsteps once you were done. Now, catching your breath, you were sat in one of the corners, admiring the hall around you. The rest of your music went on, and you didn't hear the steps until they stopped next to you. A hand pulling your headphones off your head. Your reaction was quick, and you grabbed his wrist tightly. "Hey! Calm, just noticed you were alone. That's all." That voice was so familiar to you. So close to your memory.

You let go of his wrist slowly but kept your eyes on the dark figure standing beside you. "What you are doing up at 1 in the morning then?" You questioned, trying to piece together a puzzle. The answer? Who was it smooth-talking their way into your tired mind? Then a glimmer of the moonlight hit mystery figure's hair. A silver shimmer. Of fucking course. Peter Maximoff. The one person who you particularly did not hope saw you dance just now.

"Fast body fast brain. Can never usually slow down enough to get enough sleep."

An eyebrow raised then crossed arms. "You sure about that Silver? Every time I go to talk to you, you're snoring the whole school down."

"Silver? Very creative."

"Silver Sliver. Like a silver snake who slivers around whenever he gets a chance." A cocky grin as you reminded Peter of why you nicknamed him 'silver sliver' a nickname always on the tip of your tongue. But also now ignoring the sneaky jab about how much he actually slept.

He hummed and nodded towards your own Walkman. "Who are you listening to?"

"This new singer I found called Taco. He's literally called Taco it's so funny." You rambled, rewinding it to the previous song and putting the headphones on him.

Puttin' On The Ritz.

It was smooth, almost buttery to you, but Maximoff simply stood there and nodded along. "Too slow for you Silver?" A chuckle escaped you, leaning your elbow on the radiator.

"Not at all." He grinned. Not that you could see how he grinned. But the way he spoke made you think he was planning something. Hands grabbing yours, pulling you away from your safe little corner. A groan was heard along with a small fit of giggles. What on earth had you dragged yourself into?

In the silence, the faint tune of the song was heard, and he started to dance, holding your hands, and whipping you around. Even in the musk of the night both of you held eye contact with each other, feeling oh so fancy with a song about The Ritz. What an odd feeling to have with your best friend. Sensing comfort when he held you close, exaggerating his steps, exaggerating his facial expressions even though you couldn't see them that well. That damn speedster.

Minutes went by fast. Both of you stood wherever as the new song could faintly be heard. "You're a good dancer." You noted with a smile, still holding hands and reluctant to let go.

"yeah. I think you're pretty good too." Cocky as ever. Feeling like he was on top of the world or something. "So..." Maximoff started, you hummed and tilted your head to the side slightly.

"Can I get you a drink or something?"

"...Sure." a little laugh. "Preferably when it's daytime."

A shared nod before the speedster brought you close again and danced with you.

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tagging those who might enjoy this: @babygorewhore @silverzoomies @taintandviolent @slutforgarlogan @slvt4jamesmarch @coentinim @fear-is-truth

(other mutuals let me know if you would like a tag 💜)

#evan peters #xmen #peter maximoff #peter maximoff x reader #peter maximoff x you #fluff #evan peters x reader #evan peters x you #xmen fic #xmen apocalypse #xmen dark phoenix

[greatestrival]

Yuki Tsunoda: 10 Things I Love for GP RACING MAGAZINE APRIL 2024 ISSUE

scanned by me (please credit if you repost lmao these took so loooong)

text under the cut

10 THINGS I LOVE

RB's Japanese racer on his love of saunas, good coffee and - well, food, of course

Fashion

I like fashion. I like to choose my outfit according to my mood or where I'm going. And I like to show my colours, if you like. In short, it feels good to look good.

Food

There's no particular cuisine I like, but for me a good meal is a kind of tool to reduce stress and feel happier. It doesn't matter what kind of food it is - if it's good, I enjoy it, whether it's tacos or sushi. I really like pasta. When I'm in Italy that's what I usually eat. But it's important for me, wherever we go, to find a good restaurant so I can enjoy the food. Because in a way, as strange as it may sound, it gives me the same feeling as driving a Formula 1 car. When I drive, I just concentrate on that. It's not that I don't think - of course I do, especially during the race - but when it comes to driving, it's more about the senses than thoughts. When I'm driving I don't think about anything else. And it's almost the same with food. You just enjoy the taste and flavour - and I really like that!

Nature

We travel a lot and are surrounded by electronics and computers, Laptops, telemetry, data is our world - and sometimes it's just too much. So I like to get away from it all, to go hiking, for example, or just get out into nature and experience a different environment to Formula 1.

Jason Statham

Definitely my favourite actor, especially after meeting him in Abu Dhabi last year. I've always liked his films and Transporter is my favourite - but sometimes when you meet your hero and get to know the person better, you can be disappointed, can't you? It wasn't like that with Jason. He is such a great guy, really nice, talkative, very respectful and really, really strong! He's got everything you need. He's strong, he looks cool, he's bald. I might go bald in the future to look more like him...

Singing

I'm not the one who sings in the shower, but I do sing in the car. I just feel like it, to feel the rhythm, to have fun. And when I'm singing, I feel like a real singer.

Saunas

It's something I like to use to reset. 20 minutes in the sauna, then a cold shower and lying down - at that moment I feel like I'm in space. And it is an incredible feeling. It feels like your body is resetting itself. It feels like all the stress I have, it just comes out with the sweat, so after the sauna I feel fresh. Like a brand new me. It's funny, I didn't really like it before, but my friends kept telling me how great it was. So one day I just decided to give it another try and finally understood what they were talking about. Now it's one of my favourite things to do: just go to the sauna and relax.

Coffee

I have a good coffee machine at home. I like to grind coffee beans in the morning and make myself a good cup of coffee. Good coffee makes my day.

Wine

I don't drink alcohol very often, to be honest. And I'm not a guy who knows a lot about wine, about different types and varieties of wine. I'm not an expert, if you like. But it's nice to have a glass of wine with good food. It helps you enjoy it even more

Apex Legends

I used to play a lot more when I moved to Europe from Japan - and Apex Legends was my favourite game. I don't play as much now, but during my junior career it was a way to keep in touch with my friends in Japan because we were so far apart. Of course you can call and chat, but doing something together, playing and talking at the same time, is a lot more fun.

Football

I sometimes play football with the mechanics, engineers and other guys from the team in Faenza. And I love it. Because first of all I like the game itself, but then it's also good to hang out with the guys from the team - especially considering that it's usually the guys who don't go to races and stay at the factory, so it's also a good opportunity to bond with them.

#phew! my first time doing something like this hope it's good lol #my work #my scans #yuki tsunoda #vcarb #rb racing #yt22 #formula 1 #f1 #for my friends who enjoy him here's for you #also for bella for egging me on #角田 裕毅 #tsunoda yuki

[squigglebottom]

Food Fight Fun

Happy Hoard Trailer Premiere Day!

I was inspired by this certain part of the trailer where Michael and Maria are having a food fight and just the way he’s towering over her like that gave me naughty thoughts! 😛

Micahel(Hoard) x Fem!Reader

Warnings: food fetish, p in v, food fight, nipple sucking, oral sex, language.

It was a pretty uneventful Thursday night. Nothing really good on telly or funds for a shopping spree. Michael stopped by to relieve your boredom and get a free meal out of you.

You decided on a simple taco night since you really didn’t have anything else to make, payday was tomorrow. Michael grabbed the ground beef and started frying it in the pan as you fetched the condiments and plates.

While cooking, Michael talked your ear off like usual about work, his favourite team, and the stupid shit his mates did. You didn’t care so much and every now and then let out an “uh huh.”

You both sat at the table and munched away. Michael asked why you were so quiet, “I’ve just got nothing interesting to say…besides you were going on and on and I couldn’t get a word in edge wise.”

Michael looked at you in shock, “Well, excuse me for having an interesting life unlike you ya hermit.”

“I am not a hermit! I just choose not to interact with the crazies out there for longer than I care to.”

“I’m out there everyday…am I one of the crazies?”

“Yah…maybe you are and I shouldn’t let you in my house eating up all me food!”

You looked down at your plate, the corner of your eye you can see Michael smirk.

“If you don’t like me eating up all your food…then you can have it back!”

With the end of that sentence, Michael flung his half eaten taco right at your face! It took you a while to process what just happened and then you responded, “What the actual fuck you crazy bastard?”

Michael started laughing. You stood up and walked towards him. “Oh that’s funny, huh? Laugh at this, you twat.” You took your taco and slammed it on top of his head, smearing it all over his hair and face. He started to go after you as you went into the kitchen for more “fire power.”

You started throwing eggs at him that pretty much landed on the floor since he was so good at dodging them. He went to the sink and grabbed the hose spraying you all over. You had the peanut butter in hand, grabbed a huge hand full and smeared it all over his face. While he was blind from peanut butter, you were able to get the hose and started pouring water down his pants.

“Oh fuckin’ hell! That’s cold! Stop!”

He then grabs you, picks you up, and lays you on the dining room table. He towers over you as you’re both out of breath. You take your finger and wipe the peanut butter off his face and stick it in your mouth with a gentle “mmm”.

“Do you want a taste?”

“Sure, love.”

You swipe another bit off his face and are about to put it in his mouth, when you get a wicked idea. Lifting up your shirt, you smear your finger over your stomach. Michael takes his long, thick tongue and glides it over your torso.

“That was good. Perhaps we need more peanut butter and other tasty treats.”

You remain on the table as Michael walks back to the kitchen to retrieve the peanut butter but also the whipped cream, ice cream, and chocolate syrup. He makes it back to the table, ripping off both of your soaked and food stained clothes.

You look over at the items with confusion, “ I understand everything else…but what’s with the ice cream?”

“I decided to make you into a delicious little sundae.”

Michael smeared the peanut butter on both sides of your neck licking so slowly. His hot breath on your lobes. He poured the chocolate syrup over your breasts and your belly as he wiped it all over you like a sensual massage. He took a spoonful of the ice cream and placed it carefully on both your nipples. The instant coldness made them perfectly hard as Michael lowered his mouth to them. His lips sucked them with force as his tongue waggled around.

He proceeded his waggling down to your belly button stopping right before your needy pussy. He grabbed the can of whipped cream, spraying it all over you. You stared down at that gorgeous face, biting your lip. He dove right in as if he couldn’t wait a second longer. The whipped cream was all over him as he eagerly gobbled up every inch of you.

Your moans grew louder, you grabbed your breasts and wiped the chocolate on your face. Michael started to pick up the pace as he clasped his hands with yours. Your body started to shake as your release mixed with whipped cream covered his face.

You sat up, grabbed the syrup, and dropped to your knees. You wanted a taste of the sundae as well. Michael leaned back against the table as you covered his hard cock in chocolate. You took him in your mouth, all the way to the back of your throat. He let out a loud moan as he grabbed your hair.

“Oh fuck! Yes! Suck my cock, baby. Mmmm…fuck…your mouth feels so good. Such a dirty girl.” He tasted so good, so sweet, you never wanted to stop. You squeezed his thick thighs as he fucked your mouth. His cum ran down your throat as you swallowed every drop.

He fell down to the floor then laid on his back. He lifted you on top of him, guiding his cock into your pussy. You were still so sensitive and him filling you up felt incredible. He might be an immature little shit but damn he knew how to fuck you silly. You rocked back and forth gaining momentum with each thrust. You grabbed the closest item on the table-the whipped cream-and went to town all over his large chest. You ran your tongue all over it before collapsing on top of him.

Holding him tightly, you could feel the topping rubbing against the two of you. Michael flipped you over and lifted you so you were in his lap. He reached for the syrup and you grabbed it out of his hand. You poured it in his hair and down his back. Your fingers massaged it into his curls.

Michael grabs you closer, you lay your head on his shoulder. You can see the syrup running down his back all the way to his perfect peach bottom. Damn, the boy had a great ass.

“Are you going to cum with me, baby?” He asks still holding you tight.

“Yes, I’m so close. Oh fuck yes keep going!”

You grasp his hair pulling back his head as he fills you full of his hot cum. Falling to the ground, you both lay on your backs catching your breath.

“Looks like we made quite the mess, yah?”

“Sure as shit we did…I’m not cleaning it up though.”

“What? Why not? I’m the guest…I shouldn’t have to clean up!”

“You fired the first shot, big boy. This is your mess!”

You start to get to and walk towards the bathroom. Michael proceeds to ask where you are going.

“I’m filthy…I’m going to take a shower. Now, if you quit your bitching and clean up fast…perhaps you can join me.”

#joseph quinn #hoard film #michael hoard x reader #hoard fan fiction #fanfiction

[anonymous-dentist]

Or: the childhood friends au:

-

Roier doesn’t remember a lot of his childhood, but he remembers enough to know that he was a bit of a little shit. He was a problem child. He probably has the outline of a shoe tattooed onto his back after all the shit he got up to as a kid.

(R-01 gets one hour of supervised outdoor time every day to keep him from getting sick. He sits beneath the big oak tree in the facility’s enclosed garden, and he lets his fingers twist in the grass beneath him.

[The grass isn’t real, but he doesn’t know this yet.]

He sticks his tongue out to catch the sunlight, all of seven years old and unsure as to what sunlight tastes like.

Abuelo stands by him complaining, but all R-01 hears is static.

And then there’s a rough hand yanking him to his feet and dragging him back into the facility. Apparently, according to Abuelo, someone has managed to sneak into the facility.)

But it’s fine, really. Roier doesn’t need to remember his past to know who he is, and he knows who he is. He’s Roier! He likes tacos and kissing men.

In his sleep, Cellbit rolls onto his side and latches a clingy arm over Roier’s waist. He snuggles close, face burying itself in Roier’s shoulder with a pleased little ‘Mrrp!’ noise. His tail brushes against Roier’s thigh just once before settling down.

Roier smiles into the night. There are dark circles under his eyes and a sick feeling in his stomach and a gnawing something in the back of his mind.

He can’t sleep. Which is kinda funny, really, considering he’s usually the one asleep clinging to his overworking husband.

(R-01 stays in his cell for days listening for the jingle of Abuelo’s keys, but all he hears is the familiar screaming of the duck in the room next door. Must be her feathers again.

With a sigh, R-01 paces to the other side of his cell. She’s loud!

That’s when he hears it: a soft sobbing from the cell next to Roier’s. Not the duck, she’s loud. This is quiet, and there isn’t any quacking.

R-01 gasps. Someone new!

“Hola?” he dares whisper, not too loud ‘cause he doesn’t want to get in trouble, but he doesn’t like crying. It’s illegal. Abuelo doesn’t like it.

The crying stops. Then something taps at the wall right next to Roier’s ear. Another tap, and another, and it’s code, right? It has to be!

R-01 isn’t very smart, Abuelo tells him this every time they do their lessons, but he’s got this! If it’ll keep his new neighbor from crying and getting in trouble, he’ll solve this… this enigma!)

Richarlyson is with Bad again, and Pepito is staying with Quackity again, and Cellbit is asleep. So it’s just Roier and his thoughts and the distinct lack thereof that he’s trying to find somewhere in the mess that is his silly goofy little brain.

“You’re thinking,” Cellbit suddenly grumbles, jolting Roier from his thoughts (and the distinct lack thereof.) His voice is thick with sleep. Adorable. “Stop thinking. That’s my job.”

“What? You? Thinking? No way.”

Roier shifts in bed until he’s on his side facing Cellbit. Cellbit moves with him, pulling him fully into his arms and melting as Roier’s fingers find their ways to the hair at the base of his ears.

“Go back to sleep, gatinho,” Roier says.

Cellbit purrs at him in mild disagreement.

“What’s wrong?” Cellbit asks. He’s only halfway awake, but at least he cares.

(R-01 slowly manages to figure it out. He uses his mandatory arts and crafts time with Abuelo practicing his alphabet with colorful finger paints that make Abuelo sneer in disgust every time R-01 uses them on his own face.

His neighbor is talking to him, and it’s a secret. R-01 is basically a spy!

Every tap is a letter, he thinks. So two taps means “B”! Easy.

So, while Abuelo is busy with the duck, R-01 sneaks to the other wall and taps out a “Hola!”

The response is immediate and a bit too fast for him to be able to get, but he hears seven taps and then one tap and that’s “G” and “A” and there’s gotta be more, right? What words start with that?

Hesitantly, R-01 taps out: “MEOW”.

The duck screams. The neighbor laughs. The guards outside start shouting and banging and shooting. Footsteps come down the hallway, and then they say, “No.”

And then it’s quiet.)

“Nothing,” Roier lies. But, well, it’s only sorta a lie, right? Nothing illegal. Marriage-illegal.

“Okay,” Cellbit simply says, and then it’s quiet.

He purrs, rusty from exhaustion.

Roier pets him idly, eyes shut tight.

“It’s just…” he slowly says, “Bagi isn’t a cat hybrid, is she?”

Cellbit’s purring stops.

(R-01 wakes up on the table this time. He screams as the bear’s scalpel cuts into the skin beneath his eye, squirming in his restraints.

“No,” the bear simply says.

It’s the mean one, the one with the knife. R-01 doesn’t like this one; it’s the one he heard outside of the cat’s room. And he hasn’t heard from the cat since.)

Roier doesn’t remember much of his childhood, but at least he remembers having a childhood. Cellbit doesn’t have that luxury. It’s kind of his whole thing at the moment, working through his assloads of trauma one tiny little baby step at a time.

All Roier knows, and all that Cellbit knows, is that Cellbit crashed onto the island with cat ears and a tail, and that Bagi is totally and entirely human.

“But maybe you just got the furry genes,” Roier suggests.

He feigns a yawn and scratches the spot between Cellbit’s ears he knows makes Cellbit turn to goo, and goo does Cellbit become.

“Guapito…” Cellbit sighs.

Roier cuts him off with a ‘Shhh.’

“In the morning,” he promises. “I promise.”

“Mmmm,” Cellbit agrees, as smart and as well-spoken as ever. “‘Kay.”

Roier smiles, more genuine, and he kisses Cellbit once before at least trying to relax. It’s fine, right?

(R-01 gets one hour of supervised outdoor time every day to keep him from getting sick.

He waits until Abuelo isn’t paying attention to stretch his hand up towards the sun.

The duck is gone. They’re still looking for her. And R-01 is still looking for the cat.

The garden is surrounded by four walls, but there’s no ceiling. Just the open air, because ducks can’t fly. No risk of escape.

But spiders can climb.

Squeezing one eye shut and sticking his tongue out in concentration, R-01 points his fingers at the top of the nearest wall like how he thinks a superhero would. Because he is a superhero now!

The web comes out as painfully as ever, but all R-01 cares about is the wind against his skin as he’s pulled out of the garden and to freedom.

Abuelo is angry and shouting down below, but who cares? R-01 is a superhero now! They made him one, and he’s got a kitty to save somewhere!)

[Cellbit’s parents used to chastise him and his sister, telling him, “Curiosity killed the cat!” But Bagi had always argued that, well, so what? They aren’t cats! They’re people!

But then the bear said the same thing as it stuck the IV in Cellbit’s arm. And Cellbit thought of the dead little girl with rabbit ears he found in the woods, and the dead little boy with the bird wings, and, at the ripe old age of eleven years old, he cried as he realized how big of a mistake he had made.]

#a.d.'s fics i suppose #a.d.'s fics i suppose. #dunno how I feel about this one tbh #I just wanted the idea down yk?

[river-shards]

RATING GHOST SHELLS BY HOW MUCH I WANNA EAT 'EM

(I won't be covering all Ghost shells right now because there's just too many of them.)

:readmore:

Basic little guy Ghost: Looks like candy, honestly. Probably a bit bland??? 7/10

Chocolate guy shell: It's chocolate. Why would you not want to eat a big hunk of chocolate? 9/10

Drop pod shell: Like a fine truffle, freshly plucked. Would love to shave them over my pasta. 10/10

Kitty ghost: THAT'S A KITTY!! A SILLY BABY!! You do not eat. You bite. 1/10

Sunshot shell: Buddy looks like cake and I don't really like cake. Maybe if he had a shader that made him look like red velvet?? 5/10

Cabana shell: Looks like it tastes like coconut. I fucking love coconut. You can trick me into drinking alcohol if you douse it in coconut syrup. Ghosts who wear this shell better watch their back. 10000/10

Egg shell: I don't really like eggs... 2/10

Almost mighty: Consider: it would be funny. 8/10

Cool guy shell: Looks like it tastes like pineapple and cream cheese, or piña colada. Wanna know what's in piña colada? COCONUT BABYYY 100/10

Bonus!

Glint: He used to be called Pulled Pork. I'm assuming he tastes like pulled pork. Bro is going in my taco. 9/10, count your days.

#destiny 2 #long post #? #d2 #Destiny the game #Glint #destiny glint #Ghost #ghost destiny #Destiny ghost #textpost

[flying-ham]

#I’m on this ep of my rewatch so #enjoy #dean winchester #sam winchester #gabriel spn #supernatural #spn #poll #tumblr polls

[shion-yu]

Taco Fiesta 2.0

Quick story for fun ft. @wussifer's OC Jack and my boy Cliff who are actual soulmates in another life <3 Based on this. 1,287 words, CW: food poisoning, emeto, mucho fluff.

Jack's love for questionably safe street food had gotten him in trouble more than once over the years. Cliff kept telling him to stay away from those stands but Jack's memory seemed only to last a few months before he took the plunge again. This time is was "Phil's Philly Steaks" and Jack thought the name was way too funny to pass up trying. 

Cliff groaned and tried to tug him along. "Jack, please, Leo's got dinner at home waiting for us," he tried, but it was hopeless. The call of street meat with a terrible pun was all too powerful. 

"It's fine," Jack said casually as he handed over a wad of ones. "I have a different stomach for this kind of thing."

"You do not," Cliff rolled his eyes. "Just don't come to me when it's 'Got Taco to the Fiesta' 2.0, alright?" 

"Sure, baby," Jack said cheerfully, accepting the giant paper plate overflowing with steaming Philly steak that he was handed. "Thanks man," he told the vendor and Cliff followed behind him to a nearby bench.

Cliff looked at Jack's purchase with distaste. "That looks like brains," he said. 

Jack took a big bite and hummed with satisfaction. "Delicious brains though. Wanna try?" 

"Absolutely not," Cliff said, pushing the forkful Jack was holding up away and sticking out his tongue. He waited as Jack miraculously devoured the entire meal and threw away the plate with a satisfied burp. "You're so gross," Cliff whined as Jack laughed and appologized. 

They took the train back home and made it to Leo's apartment without further incident. Jack's belly was sticking out a bit but true to his word, he managed to shove down a whole plate of dinner made by Leo, too. Cliff had no idea how his boyfriend had such a bottomless appetite but he figured at least Jack was eating enough for the both of them, given Cliff no longer ate my mouth. After dinner they went to Jack's room where Jack sat at his desk to study and Cliff watched videos on bed. 

Jack was still studying when Cliff got sleepy and turned in for the night. "Night Jackie," he said. Jack blew him a kiss and looked fondly at his little family on bed, made up of Cliff, one cat in his arms and one dog at his feet. He had about fifty of the same exact picture but he couldn't help but snap another one with his phone, they were just so cute. 

Around eleven, Jack's stomach started rumbling loudly. He rubbed it and shifted in his chair uncomfortably. He had definitely eaten too much today, but it'd go down soon enough. Except an hour later, it certainly hadn't gone down and Jack felt even more bloated than before. He groaned and stood up, thinking maybe walking around would help. Did they have Tums in the bathroom? Jack located then and chewed two of the tablets. The chalky taste did the opposite of make him feel better and he realized very quickly that he was feeling nauseous. 

It was just too much food, he told himself. No way this was the tacos from three months ago 2.0. He hit his chest with his fist a few times and let out a loud belch that made his eyes water. He glanced at Cliff but his boyfriend was still sleeping soundly. The dog, however, was staring at him in startled disdain.

"Sorry Sabi," Jack said, rubbing his aching stomach. Sabi sniffed as if he understood and rested his head back down on Cliff's legs. 

Jack tried to go back to studying, but his stomach was really burning now and it felt like the words he was attempting to read were running all over the page. He had begun to sweat and groaned, pushing his chair away from the desk and pressing his forehead on the edge. He tried to breathe through the nausea but one thought about the neon yellow cheese sauce on that cheese steak today put him over the edge and he made a mad dash for the bathroom.

It was an absurd amount of food to have eaten, and it felt absurd coming back up. Jack threw up wave after wave of chunky, smelly vomit and swore to himself for probably the twentieth time that he'd listen to Cliff about the street food next time. After a few minutes it seemed like he was empty, and the dizziness was gone. Jack flushed the toilet and stood on shaky legs to wash his face and hands in the sink. He listened, but Leo's bedroom was too far away to hear and Cliff seemed to have manage to sleep through it despite the occasional very loud moan that had come out of him. 

Jack returned to the desk in his room, hoping that was it. Going back to studying turned out to be a no go though and Jack gave up quickly, crawling into bed next to Cliff and resting his head on Cliff's chest. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. The attempt lasted about fifteen minutes before Jack was launching himself back into the bathroom for round two. That solidified it - it wasn't just overeating and Phil's Philly Steak was most certainly the culprit. Jack threw up until there really wasn't anything left but stomach acid. It took him another ten minutes to gather the strength to stand up and wash up again, spraying some air freshener on his way out to mask the putrid smelling combo of fry oil mixed with puke. 

Jack stumbled back to bed and lay down, clutching his stomach with a loud groan. Cliff didn't look so cute asleep anymore. He looked annoyingly peaceful while Jack was going through cheese steak purgatory. Jack shook his shoulder, whining. "Cli-ifffff." 

Cliff twitched and opened his eyes, squinting at Jack cluelessly. "What?" He asked, his voice thick with sleep.

"I threw up," Jack said pathetically. 

"Oh, sorry baby," Cliff mumbled, reaching for Jack and pulling him close. "Do you... need... Zzzz." Aaaaand he was asleep again. Jack sighed and cuddled against Cliff anyways. Cliff tended to be fairly useless between the hours of ten PM and eight AM unless Jack really set off the alarms, but he wasn't going to do that for another round of food poisoning by stupidity. 

"Thanks Cliff, you're so comforting," Jack muttered. Cliff's arms did feel nice though, and before Jack knew it his eyes had begun to sag closed. "Love you," he said.

The next morning there'd be plenty of time for scolding and then coddling and rubbing Jack's back as he threw up again. But at least until morning, the two of them managed to sleep - one much deaper than the other. 

"You should've woke me up," Cliff said the next morning while serving Jack plain toast in bed, hoping it would ease Jack's stomach cramps.

"I did," Jack said.

"Really?" Cliff asked, a look of genuine confusion on his face. "Sorry. I don't remember."

"It's okay," Jack said. "I'll forgive you if you make me a good Philly cheese steak at home."

Cliff made a face of disbelief. "Jack, you cannot seriously want to eat right now," he said.

"Not now! Later. To erase the taste of the poisonous version from my memory," Jack said.

Cliff shook his head. "Maybe you should try and remember the poisonous one next time you want street food," Cliff said. But then Jack gave him such kicked puppy dog eyes that he added, "Okay, I'll do it, just listen to me next time, please?" 

Jack grinned, gave Cliff innocent doe eyes and said with an incredible amount of confidence, "I always listen to you!"

#shionwrites #cliff sorta came out as a nagging housewife here but oh well #these two are my loves #other people's ocs #oc: cliff #sickfic #sicknario #emeto #overeating #food poisoning #illness whump #tw: vomit #sick whump #cliff and jack

[indouloureux]

Hi I love your Joseph Quinn writings you’re my fave <3 I’m obsessed with the new podcast with him. I learned that he has very deep thoughts about food lol! Could you write something where you and Joseph are trying to figure out what/where to eat for dinner? I think it would be so funny and cute

I LOVE U MWAH

also listen man, i am a very picky eater and i have no idea what kind of restaurants are there in the uk but i'll try my best for you

"what about that one?" you tug on his hand, pointing at a small shawarma shack across the street. "you love shawarma, right? we eat cold ones every morning before work."

"yeah but-...i kinda want oysters right now. like a bucket full of oysters. and a martini." he scratches his head, gripping your hand tighter. "and i know you don't like oysters. but, why?"

"i just don't," you shrug. you shiver in the cold air, and joseph removes his hand from yours only to discard his jacket and place it around your shoulders before he goes back to holding your hand. "thank you— i don't like the...smell."

"but they taste good," he looks at you. you brush the hair out of his face, tucking it with the rest of the curls before his eyes wander on the next restaurant. "tacos?"

"we had it last week."

"mcdonalds?"

"thought you said you wanted something fancy?"

"i know, 's just we've been walking for an hour," he complains, making a displeased sound with a small pout. "your feet are okay though?"

you kick a foot, pushing the light strain around your toes. "yeah. we needed to walk around anyway. we've been sitting inside the apartment for the past week."

"we can exchange shoes?" joseph offers, obviously joking, but you know he'd do it in a heartbeat. you shake your head no, taking his cheek into your palm and warming his nipped face. "jus' want us to have a good night, lovie, 's all. we haven't got out in a while. i want you to enjoy."

"i always have a good night with you, jo," you kiss the corner of his lips, rendering him a small, blushing smile. "oh, what about italian?" you beam.

joseph's eyes widen, a hand coming around your waist to tug you closer. "broccoli and sausage pasta?"

"you can get my broccoli, though." he narrows his eyes at you, knowing he'd scold you for not eating your vegetables but you beat him to it. "i'll order us fernet branca if you take my broccoli."

"deal."

reblogs and feedback are appreciated <3

#joseph quinn blurb #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x you #joseph quinn x y/n #joseph quinn fluff #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn #blurb #eddie munson #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Fruity

Ruby: Top Ten Fruits: Number ten is Watermelon. It tastes good, but the texture is weird.

Ruby: Number Nine: Durians. The smell bad and taste weird and I appreciate them for it.

Ruby: Number Eight: Bananas. Tastes good, look funny, are healthy for people, but make the roof of my mouth feel all cut up.

Ruby: Number Seven: Apples. I the worst thing about them is the core, and occasionally biting into those grainy ones. otherwise I highly reccomend.

Ruby: Six is pineapple. It's a bunch of berries that fuse together. It's cool and Sweet, and part of pineapple upside down cake!

Ruby: Tomato is at the halfway point at number five, because it's my list and I do what I want.

Ruby: Number Four: Lemons. For lemonade, and putting them on street tacos and iced tea.

Ruby: Number three is a tie between Dragon Fruit and Kiwi, Because Dragon fruit looks cool, and it's name is awesome. Kiwi can be eaten whole unlike all the rest of this list, where you need to remove peel and avoid rind or stems and stuff. Also Kiwi is fun to say. Kiwi. Kiwi. KEE-WEE.

Ruby: At number two we have strawberries. If you know you know.

Yang: Wait I thought Strawberries most of all?

Ruby: It was, but I have discovered my favorite fruit of all time.

Ruby: So without further ado: The Greatest Fruit of All time!

Ruby: My Girlfriend Weiss.

#rwby #ruby rose #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #white rose #whiterose #rwby shitpost

[xblackreader]

Attoye Normal AU HeadCanons

Attuma Xoc Almehen - 26 - Yucatec Mayan

Okoye Achebe - 28 - Zimbabwean

Okoye was working in real estate when they first met and Attuma was studying Marine Biology but worked Part-Time as a Gym Instructor.

Attuma rides a motorcycle and has taken Okoye for a ride on the back of it. He puts his helmet on her head and takes her around the corner. She hates it. It’s awful. Now she calls it a death machine and Attuma has to be extra careful while riding it. Because if he crashes, she'll make him sell it.

Okoye loves jazz readings and poetry nights, which is great because Attuma writes poems and plays guitar.

Attuma watches soap operas/ Telenovelas but doesn’t want anyone to know; He used to watch them with his mother growing up in Yucatán. He’s sensitive and loves rom-coms and reality TV too. Attuma absolutely DOESNT cry at the end of The Fault in Our Stars, there was dust in his eye…

Okoye occasionally watches them with him, mostly because she loves to sit in his lap while he yells in Spanish at the Television. She has been secretly taking Spanish lessons online and learning and one day she chimes in to surprise him.

“Josephina! She caught the bullet with her hands! Órale!”

“Que? Now She is poisoning Senor Gonzales? Estúpido! Doesn’t she know Carlos is her real father??”

A shocked silence rolls over them both. Okoye just hopes he would find it funny, even if she sounded ridiculous.

Why is he crying? “Mi corazón! Enamorada de ti…” he is sobbing and crushing her in his arms.

“So I said it right?” “Yes! You did so good!”

Attuma thinks it’s so amusing when she randomly curses in Spanish.

“Esra taco está de puta madre.” She says under her breath at the table and he bursts into laughter. “I’m glad you like it, I guess??” He'll say.

Attuma likes it when she calls him ‘Papi’. He likes it a lot.

“Attuma, come here please!”

“One second, Ko! What the fuck!? That was in!” He’s watching soccer, but she needs him to come taste this new recipe she’s trying.

“Papi, come here and eat this!”

She doesn’t hear anything for a moment and then, quick heavy steps until he’s in the doorway. He looks her up and down then to what she’s doing. “What did you say?”

“I said come try this.” She lied.

“No, you didn’t. You said ‘come eat you’. You called me Papi. Them is 'fucking words'.”

“Come try this damn asada!”

“I’m not hungry for that. Bend over the counter.”

“Attuma!”

Okoye sends him dirty pictures while he's at work or often with friends. Before she moved in with him, he would have to endure her sending him racy photos in her underwear or suggestive selfies.

One time, she did it and he got tired of it.

She sent him a picture of her in new lingerie and watches as his text bubble pops up and down repeatedly.

Then

Incoming Call: Attuma 😘

"Hello?"

"Open the door."

She learned her lesson that night.

Their first date:

Attuma planned everything. With the help of their friend group.

He made dinner reservations and a beautiful walk through the botanical gardens and then he'd have Namor drive his range so he wouldn't have to worry about parking.

The reservations fell through, so they had to get take out food instead.

Namor got a flat on the way to pick them up from the gardens, he was waiting for M'baku to pick him up now.

and it was pouring rain. They were stranded in the pouring rain.

He and Okoye were soaked and he nearly cried thinking about how the night was ruined.

"It's okay, Tuma! This has been great still!"

"But it wasn't supposed to be like this, Ko! It was supposed to be perfect..."

They found slight shelter under a tree, and she comforted him. Pressing soft kisses into his cheek while he kicked at the rocks in front of him.

"I'm sorry, Ko..."

"Don't be. Listen, I like you and I love that you put so much effort into today... I don't even care that my hair is wet!"

"Really?" "Of course... sorta. But the rain isn't your fault."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"Y'know..." Okoye starts. "I've never had a kiss in the rain..."

Attuma doesn't respond just stands up and takes her hand in his, walking out into the rain. When he stops, she goes to ask how he wants to do it and her feet have left the ground.

The world stops when he holds her up in his arms and kisses her. And she feels like a princess! She thinks the violins she hears might be in her imagination... but she doesn't care.

His hands, gently in her hair, hers upon his chest. Attuma smiles and glances toward the sky which promises more rain to come, thunder like a round of applause for love and romance.

She takes a moment to appreciate the rain rolling down his neck and off his stubbled jaw.

He pulls back and sets her down gently. He lets out a small laugh and she knows it's because she's awestruck at how perfect he looks, soaked in rain.

"I'll make it up to you, Ko. We can have another first date."

"No."

"N-no? Wha-"

"This was perfect."

#black panther #attuma x okoye #okoye x attuma #marvel #attoye #attuma #okoye #black panther wakanda forever #x black reader #black women

[kuzcosources]

The Menu (2022) Sentence Starters!

dark content present!

‘Babe, please don’t smoke. It’ll kill your palette.’

‘Jesus. This is like prom.’

‘Yeah? I didn’t go to prom.’

‘None of the cool girls like you didn’t say yes.’

‘We have reached the base camp of Mount Bullshit.’

‘Here, we are family.’

‘We mustn’t disturb the Lord High Emperor of Sustenance.’

‘I strongly feel the need to punch her in the cunt. Like an uppercut. Right to the cunt.’

‘You really know your stuff, _____.’

‘So what’s with this food obsession?’

‘Um. Hey. Are you—crying?’

‘You sound so douche-y.’

‘It’s fun watching you in this place. You’re just so _____ about it all.’

‘I know what a concept is, _____.’

‘Call me the girl next door, but maybe some rules you should give a fuck about.’

‘You will eat less than you desire and more than you deserve.’

‘You haven’t touched your food.’

‘He’s a prick.’

‘We are not so smart when we are young.’

‘It was, as you can imagine, a memorable taco night.’

‘I’m sorry, but _____ never reveals his recipes.’

‘Did you just snap at me?’

‘I take my work very seriously, and you are not eating. That wounds me.’

‘I’ll ask again. Who. Are. You.’

‘Watch your mouth, sweetheart. Or I’ll smack the taste right out of it. Okay?’

‘Dude chill, it’s a fucking taco.’

‘With which hand will you “handle” this, _____ Left or right?’

‘We’re not actors. We’re real people.’

‘Fuck yourself.’

‘You are a fucking maniac.’

‘Do you enjoy providing your services?’

‘Come with me. I would like to show you something.'

'We're going to die tonight, _____.'

'Want to join me inside? It's getting chilly.'

'You got bread? This is so fucking reverse sexist.'

'I've been stealing money from you.'

'You are why the mystery has been drained from our art.'

'I know how to be alive. I like life. And I happen to be excited for what's next in mine.'

'I like beating men like you.'

'It seemed funny three hours ago.'

'You cook with obsession, not love.'

'It's everything wrong with us and yet we associate it with innocence.'

'We must embrace the flame. We must be cleansed. Like martyrs or heretics we can be subsumed and made anew.'

#rp meme #rp memes #rp ask #rp asks #rp prompt #rp prompts #rp ask meme #rp ask memes #rp ask prompt #rp ask prompts #rp inbox meme #rp inbox memes #ask meme #inbox meme #inbox memes #ask memes #I love this movie so much

[f0point5]

Oh my GOD?!!! He ate fish? Lando? WTF???

He’s in love, it’s sooo clear now

I have to ask, when and how did he fall in love? They met twice before season started and yet race week one, he’s jealous of Carlos, he’s introducing her to his dad

He’s such a babygirl, I love every second of it.

Both chapters were great this week, very intrusive very revealing but still funny, fluffy and cute.

I’m so sad F1 is having a week off, but Melbourne should be fun. Lando and Oscar are for sure doing something with PR and marketing team

Will you be posting next week too? I hope Lando gives us some content, maybe travel somewhere fun or at least his friends post him.

He’s definitely not in love yet. He just has a crush.

I really want to do some kind of flashback to when they met at some point 😂

Some people are the type of people that when they feel like someone doesn’t like them, they get a bit hooked. Some people who don’t always feel like they measure up well to the people around them get a little hurt when it feels like the object of their affection is confirming their worst fears. And sometimes when people don’t really feel like they have a lot of people that understand them, they get attached to the first person they feel like might be able to…

Just throwing that all out there 😂

Oscar said he was going back to the UK for sim work next week because they won’t be back before Japan, so I would guess Lando is too…I hope.

But Martin Garrix was in Jeddah, so maybe he and Lando are hanging out…probably while Lando can still taste that taco 😂

Yeah, I’m going to try posting once mid week and once over the weekend even though there’s no rave and see if that is a better schedule for the pace of the fic. Hopefully it will be

[brahkest-fr]

do you have any tips on making fandragons? yours are really good in a way i cant quite quantify

oh why thank you! I love my dumb fandergs so much kldjkldd

I'm not sure if I have tips per se, but I can explain how my thought process works when I do make fandergs so maybe that can be helpful 👀

when it comes to making them, the way I do it is first deciding what breed to make em. I consider what details I want to bring out of the fandom character so for example, I made my Johnny Bravo dragon a pearlcatcher cuz I wanted the dragon to have hair but not so much like a tundra. I also had an outfit in mind (to match Johnny's t shirt and jeans) so that ruled out ancients since you can't dress em and I didn't feel like making a skin lol.

and behold: a man™. when I drew him, I thought it'd be funny to actually match the style of the show so he's all angular and disproportionate. I only included features that I wanted from the pearlcatcher like the horn, ears, and tail and tbh he looks like a rhino lol but I decided stuff like the hair tufts on the face and limbs was too much for my taste.

same thing went for my Samurai Jack dragon. however, this guy's actual dragon sprite is a lot more complex just cuz I felt like making him fancy and giving him armor.

but when I drew him, he's just very much like Jack in the show, including the style. and I'm not saying fandergs have to match the style of whatever, I just think it's a fun nod. you can also notice here I didn't draw the smoke gene on him. that's just a personal decision I wanted to keep only on the sprite, in reference to Japanese ink paintings.

my design philosophy in general is "how would x person look like if they were a dragon." but if it's like an animal/creature fanderg (like for example my bazelgeuse derg from monster hunter) then I just kinda combine both elements together.

so for Tasha here, laced and edged look like chonky scales which for me was close enough to the egg-like scales of bazel and I got a skin for the fire theming. no clothes cuz I didn't wanna cover up the skin so sometimes I don't even dress em up if I prefer seeing their bodies.

when I drew her, you can see the combined bits of both the monster and wildclaw - bazel's wings, the chonk claws, egg scales, facial features - wc tail feathers, the multigaze, feather hair. there's a lot of "use your imagination" in my designs so like, I don't usually take things at immediate face value. so some people might see laced/edged as just flat scales or maybe even feathers but my brain went oh those are fat fuck egg bombs kjldfkldkl.

sometimes my fandergs are just inspired from colors like Baja who's a taco bell fan dragon lol. I saw this hat and was like yeah I can do something with that. another example of a derg I didn't really dress cuz I wanna see the baja blast™ capsule. Baja would prolly be one of the more thematically standard flight rising dergs of my fandom ones cuz she's just a spiral without anything fancy pancy going on like the previous ones.

and sometimes it's just fun to make things kinda funky. for my Jacket fanderg, I was like, what if the chicken mask was literally a part of him and badabing it worked out really well with scales. his other colors are like red and white cuz I wanted a sort of basic bitch rooster color scheme. most of the fandom bits come from the skin I made him so he's a bit more involved on the artsy side of things. the art of him afterwards became a literal interpretation of the sprite.

I have a lot more fandergs of course but that's more or less my thought process on designing them! I don't usually have any sort of standard for designs, it really ends up being how much I feel like putting in and how much do I directly want to interpret from a fandom source. sometimes it's very literal and other times it's like a lil nod or so. tbh, you can really make a fanderg out of anything since what you wanna see is entirely up to you. I personally think it's pretty fun to see how close I can get with just what the site has to offer.

I have two more fandergs I'm actually working on rn and am very excited to share when I get to it hohohehe

#I'm so deep in fandom stuff rn it's insane #no one look at me I'm having a moment #fandergs #blood #multigaze #multiple eyes

[pikaflute]

HAI if you have any more oddly specific headcanons u haven't shared about sam and slash or max i would love to hear them

OOOO yes :) ill do both teehee

sam

okay im gonna start with his family cause i wrote some headcanons for them yesterday. he has two sisters who are younger than him. he was really good at taking care of them when he was little because he had to take of a worse child (max) all the time. they tease their big bro about max btw. max joins in. worst fucking husband of the year. they're like 10 years younger than him. their names are sara and sadie. listen the s names are good.

his mom loves him so much. like sam's her little angel. she spoils him rotten when he comes home and max laughs about it and sam tells him to jump off a cliff.

his dad is just like him (autistic). he's a lawyer (user pikaflute always tries to squeeze in lawyers in every media like their life depends on it FUKKKK … why sam’s dad a lawyer all of da sudden) and he's the reason why sam wanted to be a detective. they watched noir films together when sam was young

back to general headcanons now: sam is a gamer. yeah, old pc point and clicks and puzzle games. and arcade games. he's probably secretly really good at newer games but he's rather just relax and take his time and solve shit.

not a morning person. at all. he will not leave the bed until like 10 am and will guzzle a pot of coffee. he just wants to stay in bed. i say let him!

likes to window shop. he will walk around new york with max and when he sees something he likes he will look into the store and will stay there until max has to pull him away.

he can bake. him mom and grandma taught him :). he has max taste his stuff and it just ends up with max eating like 10 cupcakes in like 10 minutes

has like all these figurines of things he knows nothing about. the geek asks him where he got that limited edition collectible miku and sam's like "oh she's just a cute one isn't she?" "sam they made like 100 of these how did you get her" "i found her!"

i'm giving him my greatest struggle: ibs. boys who go through tummy aches are our strongest warriors!

baseball lover. go mets!

max

i know most family headcanons for max give him siblings but. i want to be funny. he's an only child. like he is that kind of asshole (source i'm an only child)

he has two moms. yeah deal with it. lesbianism WIN.

as a kid the only person his moms would let him go play with was sam because max would actually be calm around sam and they wouldn't have to be on high alert for their kid biting someone's head off

he will make accounts to go on forums to argue with people about shit he knows nothing about and is 100% wrong on but will win the argument anyway. he truly has the heart of a poster. he's also banned from most forums and like twitter and facebook

i think he has a bunch of different things he picked up as a hobby. knitting, wood carving, poker (obviously), video games, drawing, pottery, solving puzzles (he sucks at those and asks sam for help), and many more. he can't keep his mind focused, he's gotta do it all!

speaking of video games, he plays violent ones. he likes the blood and gore. it's funny to him. he also plays fighting games online and is extremely toxic to everyone around him. he just like me fr.

he loves spicy food. like he will guzzle spice packets into his open mouth all the time. then he'll get a stomach ache from eating like 15 spicy packets from taco bell

hates hot weather. it makes his fur all puffy and static. he also hates the heat in general, make him irritable (more than usual)

i think he stims a lot. he moves around a lot doing stuff in the games but i think one day sam gets him a fidget toy and max is like oh my god. oh my god sam i could make love to you. and sams like. play with the toy instead jackass. and max does like all the time everyday forever.

hockey lover. go devils!

#sam and max #TEEHEE I HAD FUN WITH THESE

[raeflora]

Honestly, you just seem like such a genuinely wonderful person! You support my theory that fans of the so-called "toxic" ships tend to attract the nicest people for whatever odd reason :) Here's a fun weekend question: what are some totally unexpected, random headcanons you have about Chuck and Blair? Mine: Chuck is a secret sci-fi geek who even debates this stuff over the internet (just go with it lol!), Blair is secretly in love with country music (notice how quick she was to reference Carrie Underwood?!), they're both addicted to cheesy but awesome horror franchises like Scream, Friday the 13th and Final Destination and watch them over and over together, they secretly love cheap fast food like Taco Bell and McDonald's despite their usual "champagne and caviar" taste, Blair cries A LOT more often than her icy exterior would lead people to believe and even tears up at commercials, they are both insanely attached to the pets they own...etc. And, yes, I plan to work these into the cheesy CB fanfic that I'm dying to write!

hi!! omg that's so sweet thank u so much 🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻 sometimes I forget that ppl actually perceive me on here skafjkdk 😭😭 if u do write any chair fic (which u so should we always need more!!) pls tag me or something bc I'd love to read it!! this is such a fun question so in no particular order:

they both watch reality shows it started ironically but they both got kinda invested and they love binging them after their kids are in bed to unwind from their busy lives

chuck can actually sing but blair only found out when he was trying to get henry to sleep once. she's definitely made him serenade her bc she thinks it's cute

blair tries to knit when she's pregnant with henry but gets so frustrated she stops after making a sock until she gets pregnant again and knits the other one which she proudly presents to their baby girl (the baby doesn't care but she will wear the socks)

they have matching outfits with their children and dogs (I headcanon henry having a l'il dog called tiger along with chuck still having monkey) which blair thinks is sooo cute

chuck lets their daughter paint his nails bc he's always kinda wanted to try it and what better excuse than saying a 4 year old did it so obviously he can't just take it off

chuck's favourite taylor swift song is speak now bc he thinks it's funny (his favourite album overall is reputation. blair's are red, reputation and midnights) he's also into jazz and swing and like electro-swing

blair doesn't like theme parks but they take their kids to disneyland and she wears minnie ears the whole day. chuck doesn't do rollercoasters but henry does get him to go on it's a small world and holds his hand the whole time so he's not scared (henry himself isn't big on animatronics but it's definitely not bc of that he's looking out for his dad). blair glares the princesses down whenever she sees them and almost gets thrown out but they bought the park out so she can't (she lets their daughter dress as belle but has her costume custom made)

blair's surprisingly good at videogames (she likes fighting ones) and gets way too competitive with chuck (who claims he doesn't really like videogames but is suspiciously good at mario kart)

#ask #answered #gossip girl #chuck x blair #blair waldorf #chuck bass #this was so fun to think about ahh #pls don't hesitate to ask any other questions 💖💖