Tumgik
#I HAVE SO MANY WORDS
joltning · 2 months
Text
reading those was like 800 punches to the head
the TRIPLETS? florida ALIVE?? JUNIOR? more LOCUS?? a bunch of QUEERS????
145 notes · View notes
dirtytransmasc · 1 year
Note
i’ve been wondering how quaritch the sullys or norm & the others scientists would react if spider actually got brain damage from the machine, like a speech problem or chronic illness and he becomes shaky, also how would spider himself deal with not being able to swing through trees safely anymore?
I've played with a disabled spider before, though I never posted it, so here's my idea of a potential symptom list; tremors/numbness in his hands, auditory processing issues, sensitivity to light and movement, focal seizures, a mild stutter, and fibromyalgia (cause we have to project a little). another thing is, he just drops sometimes, his legs give out from beneath him and he ends up in a pile on the floor, otherwise completely fine. he also gets phantom pains of the connection from the machine (from what I understand, that machine would feel like pulling your spinal cord out the base of your neck and plugging it into a car battery). Add that to his PTSD from the event, and you get one fucked up kid.
now we just apply this to his family.
for neytiri it's one hell of a wake up call; her neglect for the child allowed him to be kidnapped and he is no physically affected, seemingly for the rest of his life. spider was always weary of asking for help, but now that poses a massive threat to his wellbeing, and the mother in her aches at the realization that she did that to him, she made him feel unable to ask for help. its also really difficult to watch him go through his focal seizures after what had happened to kiri. she know's its wrong of her to want to care for him now after years of neglect, but she wants to right the wrongs. the only problem is, is the boy is terrified of her.
jake is forced to realize how spider is a lot like him, and then looking back and realizing he was always like him, he was just too blind and dumb see it the whole time. now his kid, if he even has the right to call him that (he doesn't), is struggling just to function, and he'd been the one to say 'he's a tough kid' and move on. he feels sick every time he looks at the boy, and he ends up avoiding him just like the rest of his problems.
kiri would be furious with her family for leaving spider behind when she had begged to look for him, and now because they left him with those people, he's in constant pain and fear, frustrated because he lacks control over so much of his body. she would be one of his biggest caretakers, as she knows how to go about it without being patronizing, though even then, her constant help makes him antsy.
lo'ak would feel... upset, angry, sad, frustrated. he doesn't have one word to describe it. I've talked about this with a few friends, but lo'ak, while he may not actually have these disabilities, feels very adhd and dyslexic coded in the way that his trauma and neglect/abuse present themselves within the narrative. especially in the sense that he was never accommodated for his own "shortcomings" and now he has a disabled brother and he's torn between his internalized "ableism" (loosely using that word to run with the example) that stems from pushing his needs below the surface and therefore expecting other's to do the same, and his want to take care of his best friend and brother. it's not that he wants spider to hurt himself by not hiding his disability, its just that he doesn't know what else he can do, because for so long he's tried to do exactly that with no help. it also really hurts watching spider go through his day to day life like that, especially in the early days when he and the people around him didn't fully understand what was wrong so he sorta had to suffer through trial and error.
tuk is a good kid, she probably accommodates spider best because things don't change unless they have to. she still plays with him, nags him, spends time with him all the same. she just adapts to his way of life. she doesn't treat him like he's fragile or in need of pity, and I could see her inadvertently putting him through some sense of physical therapy as she gets him up and about, using his hands, and such. she makes him smile even when he feels hopeless she's the best little sister he could ask for.
norm and max feel helpless, every time the offer to help him he shoves them off (cause they treat him like he's 5 years old and made of glass). they see him fading away, looking more and more dull by the day, they know he needs help or the injury won't heal and it will only get worse, they know they should have done more when spider went missing, but they can't do anything now and spider hates them (he doesn't he just doesn't like his brian being rummaged around in anymore then it has, he doesn't want to be fixed, he just wants to be. he's tired of everyone pitying themselves for not looking for him, tired of everyone worrying, he just wants things to be normal again.)
quaritch would hate himself, he had brought spider to ardmore, even if he hadn't known what the machine would do to him, he allowed it to happen, he let spider to get hurt, and now he tries to do everything he can to make it up to him. he took care of him in the field, pulled strings to get him under the table medical care back on base, was even willing to give him up to the sully's when it started getting really bad, cause even if they were and parents, spider would have a stable life with medical attention. he doesn't have any ill feelings towards his son or his disabilities as many would assume he would; he just wants his boy to feel ok, no matter what that means ability-wise. he's also one of the few people spider lets faun after him because he knows it's not out of guilt for abusing and neglecting him for years but for making a mistake that spider can't find within himself to blame him for.
(including the tonowari family, because I can, I love them too much to exclude them)
tonowari and ronal would throw a fit when they found out spider had been knowingly left behind with the RDA, especially because he knew what they were capable of doing firsthand, but also because he was clearly a worse father than the man he claimed to be running from (quaritch getting a redemption arc and being 'adopted' by ronal and tonowari is my favorite thing, sorry, I just can't leave it out). spider accepts treatment from her because its na'vi medicine, it feels right to seek the Great Mother's help in fixing what the Demons did to him. this quickly turns into him getting adopted, cause ronal has taken to this small human child, and tonowari just wants to see this boy happy.
ao'nung tries to throw hands with jake. that it, he treats spider like he would any other kid, any other brother, he just tries to kill jake for letting that happen to him.
tsireya is just a gentle soul to keep him company. she is a rock in the storm, always calm and caring, always asking permission to care for him, never assuming he wants her help. she holds him steady when the world around him is chaos.
now for spider himself? he feels even more useless and like a freak then before. he feels weak for being so screwed up by what he only lets himself think of as 'a flashy spinning machine' as if it wasn't created to break him. he would hate having attention on him because why should it have taken being tortured to receive this sort of attention? was being a kid not enough, he just has to suffer first? pair that with the fact that he is so self sacrificial and quick to defend the sully's he's shameful of his own anger. he's an emotional disaster, so many different though processes mixing and fighting with each other. but most of all he's frustrated, so frustrated, in the span of a few hours he lost the one thing he had, which was trust in his body, his physical capabilities that allowed him to survive on pandora and be a 'tough' kid that burdened no one. now he needs help with basic tasks and constant supervision so he doesn't just fall down and die somewhere.
211 notes · View notes
alifelongpassed · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
-
Tumblr media
Plz just zoom it. Because the eyes arent as weird as the small makes it seem. Xx
277 notes · View notes
burnttoastlife · 1 month
Text
Just watched the Ace Attorney 2012 movie and there was. So much
I LIKED THE MOVIE I think it did really well with what it was trying to do with DL-6 and Turnabout Goodbyes. I found some of the changes to that case Strange but I still think they told the story really well, and all the foreshadowing for the case throughout the movie and the way they tied everything together from the beginning (even STARTING the movie with Misty channeling Gregory)…. MVK’s breakdown… yeah that movie fucks.
However I absolutely WILL stay stuck on the changes to Redd White. They didn’t. Need to do that 😭😭😭
ALSO! bro at the very end there’s a Jammin’ Ninja mention AND a Matt Engarde cameo. So extra points for that specifically. Though I have no idea what Matt is on trial for 😭 it’s just kinda funny to me bc it doesn’t look like it’s supposed to be Farewell this is a separate thing. More points for giving Larry more insane character moments but also deducting points for the fact that Maya did not do shit in that movie, and also for the fact that April May was cut out entirely (women losses). Are we understanding my system here
2 notes · View notes
teazzle · 8 months
Text
i want to complain/rant/discuss but its very one person focused and i don't want to do that. but i do wish i was loved in a specific way that i just am not and it's sad 👍🏽💔
6 notes · View notes
cheriechrome · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Oh wow
19 notes · View notes
lunaetis · 6 months
Text
@maquiscursed asked :
al-haitham isn't sure how he had not noticed before. maybe he had not paid attention - maybe the way she dressed had always hid it well enough, maybe both. the faint trace of the end of a scar shows right above the hem of her shirt, a little baggier than usual, as they lounge lazily on the couch and bask in both sunlight filtering through coloured-glass windows and each other's company. the scribe blinks, and moves just enough to get a better view of the rogue scar disappearing into the fabric (his moving causes eden to whine in her semi-slumber -- how dare her living breathing napping spot move while on duty). "how did i not notice this before?" he says, instead of apologising, finger brushing just above the end of the mark beneath her collarbones. this scar - that faint golden glow, barely just pulsating beneath fragile skin... she had talked about the ticking time bomb locked within her, before, but... "is that where they sealed the stellaron?" a word will unknown to him mere months prior - and that now holds too much significance to not know it intimately. it is one thing to know it - it is another to see it. burnt emerald gaze lingers on the golden scar for a moment, before he asks: "do you mind if...?" finger hooks and tugs slightly at the hem of her shirt, silently waiting for permission to lower it just a little (he has no plan of undressing her in his living room, thank you very much); only once he receives it, does he gently lower the fabric, just enough to reveal more the skin and scar above and around her heart. it is much more glaring now; like a map of lightning and stars engraved onto her skin. it must have been abominably painful, is the first thought that comes to his mind. the second comes after a pause, in the shape of an impulse and a gesture; lips delicately pressed against scarred and glowing chest, one light kiss he frankly wouldn't know how to explain. an impulse. al-haitham doesn't have many of those, but he doesn't see the harm in obeying them, every once in a while. one kiss, and he wraps his arms around her, head resting in the crook of her neck like nothing happened. like he cannot hear, very distantly, the faint whirr of the weapon lying dormant in his trailblazer.
unprompted. || always accepting
Tumblr media
─「エデン」─  the soft sunlight was one of the TRAILBLAZER's favorite things about teyvat and sumeru ( her most favorite being the scribe she was lying atop of. ) there was something COMFORTING in the natural light compared to artificial lights upon the astral express. that, and the warmth of the man she had been longing to see in every waking seconds they were apart served as a REMINDER that she was, indeed, home. the tender feel of his fingers toying with her ashen brown locks lulled her to temporary sleep. with her thoughts and consciousness drifting in and out, the sudden movement from her person caused a soft whine to escape her lips, until his WORDS finally registered itself into her thoughts.
" how did i not notice this before ? "
                her mind IMMEDIATELY recognized what it was that he was talking about even before his touch came into feel. there was a sudden shudder that even eden herself didn't realize she was feeling. a kind of CHILL running down her spine at the awareness that he was, for once, gazing at the mark of gold torn upon her skin. the faint glow of aurum became just a little brighter now that her thoughts were pulled to the front. the TRAILBLAZER'S body was littered with numerous scars, ones that her altair had seen before except for the most prominent one. and she knew the answer to his question.
                he didn't notice it until now because she had been unconsciously hiding it from him.
                why ? she didn't know. even the vessel herself didn't realize she had been doing that unintentionally. her CLOTHES covering the torn mark branching upon her skin like a crack, the sea of gold filling the broken gap which she wouldn't have any qualms showing to others. so why was it that she had been keeping it from him ? eden never liked to have any lies or secrets with al-haitham. he was the one person she would bare EVERYTHING to without fail. and yet ...
                there was fear tugging at the back of her mind.
                the word STELLARON said in his voice, upon his tongue, brought an unfamiliar sense to the entity itself. when his fingers gently tugged at the hem of her shirt, asking for permission to lay his eyes upon the part of her that she had kept HIDDEN all this time, eden felt her breath hitch in her lungs and throat, albeit only for a split second. fingertips trembled softly, unwittingly, before a nod finally followed. AUREATE ORBS followed the way he handled her, lowering the fabric just enough for the GLARING SCAR to be revealed to his eyes. it was like scar received from a strike of lightning, traveling through and around the skin and veins of her heart. like roots of a tree, firmly grasping her very core and merging itself with her.
                for once, THE TRAILBLAZER felt vulnerable. she felt as though he was staring right into the deepest part of her soul as her heart thumped almost painfully against her ribcage. it ... felt like she was entirely EXPOSED, and a hint of fear began to creep deeper, pulling and snaking down her spine. a second felt like eternity as she wondered what was going through his MIND. she had told him about the stellaron before, about the cancer of all worlds, about how DESTRUCTIVE this seed of disaster was. and —
                — what if he thinks the same thing as others ?
                what if he looked at it, looked at the scar, looked at the STELLARON, looked at HER, and saw a vessel of destruction ? saw a body formed and created for this sole purpose, saw an impending doom that was a BREATHING, living seal of something that could reduce the whole of teyvat into nothingness ? what if he looked at her and saw danger, TORMENT, source of dread, source of fear ?
                what if he looked at her and saw a threat — ?
                her mouth parted, and she didn't realize her lips were trembling as words failed her. before she could utter a single syllable, that was when he MOVED.
Tumblr media
                the glow of the STELLARON faltered the second she could feel his lips against the exposed skin. his face was momentarily reflecting the golden hue emitting from the crack upon her body. she could feel the warmth of his mouth, the caress of his breath, the WORDLESS gestured that caused her HEART to stop beating in that split second. eyes of aureate widened, pupils dilated at the sight and sensation of his kiss. it was as though eden herself was stunned to silence. that she failed to comprehend the act he had just committed over what was the MARK OF STELLARON SEALING. the softest of touch he laid upon the body created to lock this immense power within.
                i'm not scared of you.
                despite no words being uttered, the STELLARON VESSEL felt like that was what his gesture meant. and as his strong arms wrapped themselves around her, pulling her closer and resting his head to the crook of her neck, eden could feel her heart beating again. this time, it was responding to the warmth of HER BELOVED so close. with the way his head rested directly against her skin, she wondered if he could hear it, the echoing and whirring of the stellaron. eden found herself blinking, remaining still ...
                ... and the bottom of her eyes burning fiercely.
                why was she tearing up ? the TRAILBLAZER didn't understand. she didn't know why, but her own limbs coiled themselves around his back steadfastly, and her face partially buried to his hair. she quickly squeezed her eyes shut as though it'd help the welling droplets to not fall. there was a tremble of her hands and whole body as she embraced him, as she held onto him. the emotions ... something so foreign began to bubble from within. they were rising, multiplying, threatening to take over. and she didn't know what she was feeling exactly. she didn't know even when tears began to cascade down her face.
                relief ? contentment ? happiness ? her eyes shut tighter. either or ? all of them ? she didn't know. she really didn't. for once, she wasn't capable of finding words to describe the feeling she was experiencing right now. it was OVERWHELMING, it made her heart soar, it felt like she was finally whole. she felt ... seen. like she was accepted. wholly. that he accepted everything that she is, stellaron and all. all that she was, all her missing past, all that she is, all her present and journey, and all she was going to be after this, her future and her fate. EVERYTHING.
                her arms tightened around him.
                if i know love, it's all because of you. please never let me go.
3 notes · View notes
limetameta · 2 years
Text
limeta's going on a rant lads! adhd sponsored so you know it's gonna be incomprehensible :D
you know what i think
i think fanfic authors don't talk nearly enough about the themes they write in their own fics because they've been led to believe it's cringy if they do it on their own. that they need to wait for this gospel wielding reviewer who's going to understand the theme perfectly and notice all of the nuance and leave no stone unturned. that's a lot of pressure to put on a person who might just read a fic and comment superficially because they don't understand, don't have the words to explain, or otherwise don't WANT to get into the nitty gritties of the works. or the 'tiny intestines' how we like to say details in my language.
in my personal opinion the author should have full right and support to just go online, on their blog or other type of platform they're using and just go HAM. you posted a chapter, it's passed a couple of days, people have read it, you just go and TALK about that chapter. if you feel the inclination of course. or you go make MEMES about your own works. you ENTERTAIN YOURSELF first!! you know how they say you need to put your air mask on first and then help someone? BESTIE, SAME THING!
you feel like nobody in the reviews has commented on something you want to talk about - you start the dialogue yourself and see who joins up - there'll always be someone.
being your own biggest fan makes so you won't get bored of writing. and what do fans do? they talk about the work.
don't just sit in front of your computer and click refresh hoping someone reviews. it's discouraging! it's downright scary and sad! hell i wish i knew this when i was starting out ten years ago. i was so dead set on being the proper fanfic authorTM. now? after COVID???? nah, nobody's got the time for that.
you be the literature teacher talking about colour usage and prose and metaphors in your own fic. like you are SMART for using that colour. Like YEP people DEF need to pay attention but if they don't? if too much is going on in a chapter and people don't notice? This isn't a classic literature class man, just point it out to them. The pay off will be super cool and interesting anyway. Don't spoil your work, I mean (unless you want to, like what are they gonna do? you're the author you can just do a 180 and say psyche and fuck with them) but nudging your reading pals in the right direction like oh dude the colour red? the leitmotif of this story's progressing in xyz? nudge nudge, that might or might not come up later you know ;)
You know how you have those 10 page summaries in the beginning of classic books that explain the book to you and then you read the book and understand it? Don't put so much on the readers. Don't think they'll catch every little detail.
This isn't saying in no shape or form to dumb it down - just if you want to talk about it - you MENTION it. you praise yourself, buddy! you make your own memes if no one else will because you know how to have fun.
and trust me you know the characters the best for your own story so unless you actually talk about it, rarely will anyone else do it for you. they'll be too shy. they might think it's not their place. but if you do it? nobody can tell you shit.
ahhhhhh! but what if someone calls me cringy for doing it and says my story is shit because nobody else thought to say stuff like this first and it looks desperate that i'm talking about it?
i mean lmao take it from someone who's been in this game for over 10 years now - like - it's super fucking cringy* that you're writing fanfic. have FUN with it :D
*cringe culture is dead. just have fun.
21 notes · View notes
syilcawrites · 11 months
Text
just watched the last memory im not ok
4 notes · View notes
anerdyfeminist · 2 years
Text
Any chump who makes the silly mistake of telling me that they need more detail on something in writing better be ready to receive back like 3,000 words 🙃 You can assume that 100% of the time I'm holding back an overwhelming amount of info I'd like to dump on you because everyone has always told me that I need to take a "less is more" approach. If you give me a "more is more" green light, I will happily blast you in the face w/ more than you ever bargained for.
9 notes · View notes
seriousturd · 3 months
Text
21K notes · View notes
lunarriviera · 6 months
Text
send me 🌹 and i’ll give you a sentence from one of my wips ♥
0 notes
lemonlovemeanslove · 9 months
Text
why is there no english world for prasslar, rustle does not hit the same. like it just dosent. prasslar sounds like prassel. saying it sounds like prassel. smh
1 note · View note
The first real conversation Katniss has with Peeta is when he tells her that he wants to die as himself, that he doesn't want the games to change him into something he's not, and that he wants to keep his identity and prove he's more than just a piece in their games because that's the only thing he has left to care about.
The first time we see Lucy Gray she sings a song that basically says that nothing they could take from her was worth keeping. "Can't take my past. Can't take my history... You can't take my charm. You can't take my health."
The capitol has taken everything from them both, but at the same time, they could never take away who they are.
They are both likeable charismatic and funny, with the kindest hearts, and incredibly loyal to the people they care about.
At the same time, everything they do before the games, and during is calculated. Lucy Gray singing a love song and winning the hearts of the capitol. Peeta confesses he's in love with his district partner, therefore cementing her identity as desirable. Both of them know how to sway people with words, how to charm people, and how to manipulate crowds. Neither of them has any problem doing so to keep themselves, and the people they love safe.
Lucy Gray's song The Old Therebefore, about learning how to love and live her life to the fullest before death, a final and calculated stroke in a last-ditch effort to save herself from the arena. This evokes enough emotion in the watchers to get them to rise to their feet and plead for her life alongside Snow.
Snow, watching the 74th and preparing for the 75th Hunger Games sees Lucy Gray in Katniss. A young girl, from the 12th district. Unafraid at the reaping. Selling a false love story, manipulating a boy who loves her in order to get out and supporting the revolution with the mockingjay as her symbol.
He threatens her family to get her to sell that she and Peeta are in love, to prevent the revolution, because obviously, she's pretending. He's had experience with a girl just like her before. He has no doubt that she has the acting ability to sell this story because clearly, she manipulated the first Hunger Games in her favor, the same way Lucy Gray manipulated him.
Watching the interviews for the 75th Hunger Games he realizes-
Katniss is just an impulsive girl, in a Mockingjay dress she didn't know about, made by someone who supports the revolution.
Peeta is a boy who has the ability to move people with just his words. He made Katniss desirable, he was the one who sold the love story, and he was the one to make their romance seem real. Katniss only started the revolution because she would rather risk dying with him than live without him. A concept President Snow was completely unfamiliar with. And it is with all these realizations crashing around him Peeta drops the baby bomb. He knows the baby's not real, and so does Snow. But it evokes enough emotion in the watchers to get them to rise to their feet and plead for the lives of the tributes.
Is it Lucy Gray or Peeta?
By the time Snow realizes he's made a mistake, it's too late.
Peeta is still charming and manipulating the capitol. Katniss is in love.
He goes up against a kindhearted boy expecting to beat Sejanus again, only to find out that it's Lucy Gray he's fighting; knowing he will never be able to escape their ghosts.
-from a conversation i had with @grandtyphoonpoetry breaking down every character in the hunger games.
7K notes · View notes
petricorah · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
thankfully, he didn't get it [id in alt]
7K notes · View notes
grvyrd-drms · 1 year
Text
anxiety and adhd are the magic ingredients in the cauldron that creates the most annoying person on the planet (me)
0 notes