#I did way more background work than I thought which is awesome

[sunnys-side-upside-down]

Sunny's 2022 Summary of Art

#I honestly didn't think I had a piece of art for every month #BUT HERE WE ARE?? #i also could have sworn half of that art was not made from this year but #I guess years are quite long and summaries exist for this very reason #it's cool to see that I've actually made a lot of cool art this year! #I've never done one of these before but I kinda wanna do them from now on #I did way more background work than I thought which is awesome #im excited to draw even more! #drawing is swag #its the best #art man #just the coolest stuff ever #mlp #digital art #pony #procreate #2022 summary of art #summary of art

[salty-croissants]

I’m literally in love with your stuff. Can you maybe to Bullfrog and Rayman with an autistic reader?

Thank you for the request ! 

I’m so happy you’ve been enjoying my writings , it really means a lot ❤️

I gotta say I was a bit worried about not doing this one right … I did put a few things that I personally find relatable as someone who is autistic myself , thought it would be nice to include is all , I hope this works ! 

Details : use of gender neutral reader ; 

established relationships ; 

no warnings needed 

Bullfrog 💚 

So , this frog man ? He loves you unconditionally , and he just really wants you to know that he will always accept you and your unique traits , even when you feel insecure about them …

< I … I don’t know , Bullfrog … sometimes I just feel like all I’m doing is being a burden to y - > 

< Non . Don’t even finish that . 

You’re the most wonderful person I have ever met , y/n , and there isn’t a single day in which I’m not thankful for having you in my life . > 

< Really … ? > 

< Oui , mon amour . I long for nothing more than being with you . > 

< *sniff* > 

< Oh - Are you alright ? I’m so sorry , I didn’t mean to make you cry - > 

< Heh … it’s okay … I’m just really happy . 

I love you so much ~ >

  Bullfrog loves listening to you enthusiastically going on and on about something you’re passionate about , especially when he’s not having a good day : 

just hearing the sound of your voice is so , so very comforting to him … if he could he would sit beside you for days , his attention reserved for you and you alone . 

< … and what’s even more awesome is that there is actually a really subtle easter egg hidden in the background which changes the entire narrative for that charact - 

… wait , how long have I been … ? >

< That is very interesting my dear ! 

Please keep going , j'adore le son de ta voix ~ >

< Aww - > 

Your adorable expressions when he showers you with compliments …

Bullfrog can’t even begin to describe how happy they make him ://)

If being around people gets too overwhelming , Bullfrog is quick to pick up on that and he’ll immediately get you someplace more quiet , willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you’re comfortable and safe … 

< Is this really okay ? I’m so sorry , it’s just … it was so crowded and loud in there , and I … >

< Mon cher , there is no reason for you to be sorry … let’s just stay here for now , then if you wish to try and go back in we can do that , or we can always go back home : I assure you , you’ve already done more than enough tonight … I am very proud of you , and you should be too . > 

And if one day something starts making you very , very anxious ? 

Well , no matter what the reason is and no matter how small it might be Bullfrog is going to stay close to you to help you out in whatever way he can .

< I’m so sorry for making you put up with me like this … you already have so much to take care of , and this … is just dumb . > 

< y/n , ce n'est pas te supporter , you know that .

I want to be there for you , the same way you’re always there for me …

I promise you , we can find a way out of this , you don’t have to deal with it on your own . > 

< Thank you so much , Bullfrog … you’re amazing ~ > 

< Ce serait toi , my dear … I’m truly blessed to have you by my side ~ > 

Rayman 🧡

Saying that you mean a lot to this man would be an understatement …

You mean absolutely everything to him , so you better believe that Rayman will always be careful about all the things that could potentially make you uncomfortable , remembering them all very accurately .

< Here sweetie , hold my hand for a moment … > 

< Oh - okay , but why ? > 

< We’re gonna need to pass through that crowd over there , it should be quick but I don’t want you to get overwhelmed by having many people and loud noises all around , so let’s just stay close until we get through … > 

< Thanks Ray … just … don’t let go , please . > 

< I would never . > 

All the effort Rayman puts into making you feel as comfortable as possible no matter where the two of you are … it never fails to warm your heart . 

If anyone even remotely says something mean spirited about you … 

Ohh boy , he’s not going to let it slide .

< Uh , excuse me ? WHAT was that about my partner ? > 

< Ray , honey , it’s okay … > 

Yeah , Rayman is definitely very protective of you , and he will defend you with no hesitation if anyone dares to try and make you feel inadequate in any way . 

Rayman loves listening to you talk about whatever topics come to your mind while he’s working …

It actually helps him focus quite a lot , and he really never gets bored of seeing how happy you look when info dumping about something you’re passionate about .

You’re just so pretty ! He can’t get over it …

If you tend to lose focus to the point of forgetting to take care of yourself , Rayman has got you covered : he makes sure to remind you to eat and drink water often , even leaving little notes in places where he knows you’ll find them …

“Important : remember to eat today ! <3”

“If you’re reading this … get a glass of water !” 

His devotion to you is nothing less than adorable … but then again , you’re the person he cares about most , the one that showed him kindness without asking for anything in return , so now ? 

Rayman deems it only fair to repay that kindness in his own way . 

#captain laserhawk #x reader #rayman x reader #captain lazerhawk rayman #rayman #gender neutral reader #bullfrog x reader #bullfrog captain laserhawk #captain laserhawk bullfrog #captain lazerhawk bullfrog

[misstycloud]

Haii!! I've read your work before! And I absolutely adore all your fics < 3

If possible, may I request a yandere actor x background actor reader? (Like they have no speaking role, just their role is to stand there?) And somehow the reader caught the yandere's attention? XD

A/n: sup’ I’ve been gone a while. Sry for not being so active but here’s this.

————-

She didn’t do anything; nothing except standing there quietly in the background, melting into it like one tree among many in a forest. She was worth a penny compared to him- she didn’t even have any lines! So why were his eyes always drawn to her?

Perhaps it was because she didn’t try to cover his attention like all the others. It was offensive, really, how they thought he didn’t notice; they believed he couldn’t se through their over the top compliments and fake smiles.

But it was a small price to pay for such success. ‘You can’t have everything’, his father told him that. ‘You can either be rich, or you can be happy. There is no in between.’

(They were neither, but that hardly seems important)

He had to admit his father’s judgement to be correct.

“Shooting in ten!” Someone yelled.

There was no time for him to ponder over useless things, he was there to work, not to waste away inside the trailer. After having the makeup artist give him a touch-up, the tall man went over to the set(while reviewing the script inside his head one last time) in order to film the next scene.

“It’s all thanks to Gareth’s amazing, awesome, fantastic performance and quick thinking we’ve been able to stay on time of schedule - I really did think we were gonners’ after that last prop broke.” The employee guiltily admitted before his collueges. “But luckily-“ he swung his arm around Gareth’s shoulders “- our dear ‘X- city’s Top Actor’ was here to save us, and to that I propose a toast!”

Gareth held back a sneer. It didn’t matter how enticing it sounded like, he could not do it. Because if he did, then his perfect facade would be torn apart by these…people. That couldn’t happen. Ever. Too much sweat and blood has been shed for his position and there was no fucking way he would let anyone ruin that; that included himself.

Gareth wished for nothing more than to lock himself up inside his trailer and read in blissful silence, however that appeared to be near impossible. The team of employees had all joined forces to throw an ‘almost done’- party, where he was the star. Escaping was not possible.

With a sigh, he drank from his glass of wine. It was not the expensive kind he was now used to, but it would have to do. At least he managed to get some privacy at the party since most were currently drunk, throwing up in the bathroom or busy comverimg about-no doubt- stupid stuff. In a way, it was almost better this way. Despite what his line of work would say, he felt more comfortable when no one was looking at him- searching for faults and broken pieces.

“Enjoying the party?” A curious voice poked a hole in his bubble of isolation.

What surprised Gareth first was the owner of the voice, and secondly that it didn’t sound drunk at all. It was her, the extra from some of the scenes. The third surprise that grazed his mind was the thought:

‘She’s pretty.’

The actor was close to smacking himself in the face. What was he thinking so suddenly? He must’ve had too much to drink as well. Yes, that was surely it. But he found it hard to avoid the kind yet perceptive eyes.

“Ehem,” He cleared his throat, choosing to look straight ahead. “Of course, I enjoy it very much.”

It was but wishful thinking she’d accept his answer and move on.

“Really?”

She sounded genuinely confused now. Why did she sound like the surprised one? It was starting to get on Gareth’s nerves. Who did she think she was, coming here and questioning him?

“Should I not be?” It came off a little harsher than he’d imagined, but if she noticed she didn’t comment.

“Ah, that’s not what I meant, sorry.”

He sighed. She apologised which meant he must do it too if he didn’t want to come across as an asshole.

“No, it is I who have not been in the best mood tonight, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

She laughed in response, pulling some out-of-control hair away from her face. Strangely, a part of him wished she didn’t do that, it was cute and framed her face well. Gareth was always a man of perfection and he enjoyed it on others as well. He was a star, why would he waste time on someone who didn’t even take into consideration to be presentable in front of others. But it’s not like he could voice these opinions to the public, or he’ll be done for.

Maybe he’d still get jobs(celebrities often gets a pass for things), but it would definitely change the view on him.

“I just didn’t think you liked these kind of events- with all the booze and social pressure and fakeness, I mean.”

Gareth turned to her in slight awe, listening as she continued.

“You usually have a detached look in your eyes, like you’re not really there? I don’t know how to explain it, but I just assumed you didn’t like parties. Besides, - I might not be an A-list celebrity- but I can see how it must be hard for you too. People come flocking around you, hoping to gain your favour, and you don’t know who to trust. Who is truly there for you, and who is only there for something else?” The young woman breathed out a sigh of relief. “Sorry if I rambled by the way, it can happen sometimes.”

Gareth, still in awe, stood silently and stared at her. Honestly, what the fuck? How did she- a mere background actor- manage to see through and tear apart the strong wall he’d spent so many hours to perfect? He was an actor for god’s sake, it was his job to pretend, and someone saw the true him anyway. But he was sure he’d never let his face betray him. So, how……?

“Hey are you okay?”

Snapping out of it, the man dismissed any previous thought and focused on the matter at hand. “Yes, I am fine. Thank you.” It was then he recalled something important he forgot to ask. “What is your name? I didn’t ask earlier, how rude of me.”

She smiled back at him, pointing at herself as she said, “I’m (y/n), it’s nice to meet you.” She proceeded to shake his hand politely. When their skin touched, all Gareth felt was the warmth that came with it.

“Yeah, nice to meet you too… (Y/n).”

It was after that night Gareth found himself seeking out (y/n) more. Though he’d tell himself that it was for job purposes and nothing else. He simply wanted to see that there was nothing bad going on and everything was running smoothly. It was a movie he started in, of course it had to be flawless; nothing short of perfect; absolutely splendid.

But whenever trouble arose or someone needed some sort of help, it made it easier for Gareth to sneak off and find his new friend. Were they friends? At least, that’s what he thought. He and (y/n) had shared many more conversations after that fateful party and she never wore a disgusted(maybe he’s exaggerating) expression when talking to him. So they have to be friends, right? It would be strange if they weren’t.

(Y/n) was, in fact, lovely. He’d had that suspicion about her since the beginning and it turned out to be accurate. She always asked how he felt that day, and it wasn’t in the superficial, polite way, she meant it. The thoughtfulness brought a new kind of ache to his chest. It hurt in some ways, yet he couldn’t get enough of it.

Other times she even came to him with a box of home cooked food. She said that he was free to throw it away if he didn’t like it and she wouldn’t hunt him down or anything. Gareth was stunned. Why would he wish to throw out the food she’s so carefully prepared for him? No way. He’d eat all of it. It didn’t matter if he liked it or not, he couldn’t dishonour her like that. It wasn’t polite. (He actually loved the food)

Gareth had at first felt goddy at the prospect that (y/n) willingly spent her free time to cook something for him. He must be special to her then; only that thought was later crushed. The actor was on his way outside to take a breather after a longer shoot, and in the corner of his eye he saw two of his colleagues sitting on a staircase. He paused. In their laps’ were plastic containers - lunch boxes- but that wasn’t what drew in his attention; they looked oddily familiar.

‘Wait a little…this is..?’

Oh, he definitively recognised the pink notes and the same-collection of stickers that attached it to the box. If he looked even closer, he was certain the handwriting would be familiar as well.

How could he be so stupid? Of course (y/n) made lunch for all her close colleagues, not just him. Why would she treat him any special? Yes, he was considered a star on the rise for more success, but he knew that hardly mattered to her. Although he tried convincing himself it hardly meant anything as long as he’s getting good meals and they’re still friends, it made things different. The meals weren’t the only thing he noticed afterwards. There were smiles, plenty of them, all wasted on pathetic nobodies. There were also the affection, the hugs, the hand holding. They were given to crew members feeling down and in need of comfort.

It was good that (y/n) cared about others; a quality many perceived as positive. However, Gareth himself could not see this as a good thing. Instead it left a sour taste in his mouth, just like the meal-donation.

Gareth grumbled over this for a long time and tried to figure out why he felt this way. It was stupid, he thought, that he was this worked up over some woman. Gareth a couple months ago would scoff at his current situation and tell him he was being ridiculous and had to stop grovelling in the dirt over some background actor.

The Gareth from a few months ago wouldn’t believe he had the ability to resort to something so childish, either. He was avoiding her like the plague, and barely glanced in her direction. If he absolutely had to talk to her then his answers would be curt and ‘don’t-bother-me-like’. What the hell was he doing? Giving (y/n) the silent treatment, like a child not getting the attention from his parents as he would’ve liked. He could tell the change in his behaviour made her sad, and she probably didn’t understand why either, which was even more sad. But the saddest part of all was that Gareth’s pride was stronger than his feeling of guilt.

A result from the prince-treatment he’d been getting for years.

It wasn’t until the day she approached him during break and said, “I wanted to say goodbye.” that he broke out of his bubble.

“What do you mean?” He asked, immediately straightening his back.

(Y/n) smiled melancholy, “the scenes I’m in-standing in the background, that is- are all over. It’s time for me to go home now. There’s nothing else for me to do here.”

The gears turned in the actors head. She was leaving? This place? Him?

“No, you can’t leave.” He blurted out without thinking. It came off as desperate and breathless, like a whining kid. He hated himself.

(Y/n) chuckled lightly, “Yeah, I wish I could stay longer, but I’m just a background character. I don’t have that privilege.”

Gareth though he heard her mutter under her breath, ‘-not like you.’

“Well this is goodbye then, it was fun to get to know you Gareth and be your friend.” She said before turning around and leaving him alone.

It wasn’t true. They hadn’t been friends at all the last weeks, and it was all his fault. Because he felt some petty competitiveness. And now (yn) was going away forever. What if he never gets to see her again? The idea hurt more than anything he’s felt before. It definitively hurt more than the time he broke his toe, or the time he slipped and got a concussion. None of it was close to the pain he experienced with the thought of losing her.

His sweet little background actor.

Now he understood. It was love. All of it was love. That’s why he was threatened by others taking up (y/n)’s time and why he enjoyed her company so much. He loved her. It was that simple.

There’s no way he could let her slip out of reach now. Not when she belongs to him.

#oc #male yandere #obsessed #yandere oc #possesive #toxic #misstycloud oc #Gereth #actor x reader #actor x female reader #yandere actor #background actor reader #male actor

[front-facing-pokemon]

Yes, Honedge!

Something i'd like to point out about its face:

It doesn't have a goofy face, the holes in the scabbard just make it look that way. In reality, it just has a single eye.

With that in mind, could you please do a version without the scabbard?

iiii figured this was common knowledge enough to not warrant an additional form, but alright:

some of the guard disappeared but it's okay. i never even saw that part of the scabbard as a face—the blue eye is very obviously an eye. i don't know if anyone actually thought that was its face. however, i do find it interesting that even after removing the scabbard textures, it still has textures for that "face" remaining:

which implies it's a face more than anything i've seen of the matter before this point

anyway there's so many asks in the box right now so let's just go through all of them:

in order from oldest to newest, here we go:

this is true. most of the models are shiny, unless they have a "colladamax" variant

ahh it's fine. i considered it might have been a request but i also doubted it considering pangoro was literally next so i assumed you were just excited. me complaining about requests was unrelated—another ask i got around the same time

well then maybe it's not a bad thing. you certainly phrased it like one, it seems, but that might just be unfortunate connotations with the way you said it? glad we could clear up the confusion i guess

we do need more snakes, but i also like the bipedal pokémon, as a furry. back when everyone was begging sprigatito not to stand up, i saw through their thinly-veiled furry hate and was begging sprigatito to go against the grain and stand up anyway. and then they did and now meowscarada is one of my favorite pokémon. get fucked, normies (i am sorry for saying this)

↑ i didn't know this until i looked it up! this is interesting. stuff like the male version learning misty terrain but the female version learning more type coverage. this is very strange but i like it. only girls can use magical leaf and charge beam sorry boys

thank you! i can explain it. it is because pokémon are getting very close and staring at you as for the inspiration for this blog, it was mostly snivy. i remember one day thinking that snivy's big nose would make it look very silly from the front, and being like "damn. someone should compile a list of what every pokémon looks like from the front. damn. that would make a good tumblr blog bc some of those would be really funny. damn. i should do that" and then i did. but that was back in 2020—pretty soon after i ended up starting college which didn't allot me a lot of time for updating this blog, and although i kept swearing i'd go back, somewhat soon after that i went through a breakup and just wanted to take a while for myself. a bit after that, tumblr user sewatari reblogged one of the posts on this blog again (the weedle post, i believe?) and singlehandedly revived this blog by reminding me that they still cared about it. and that's fucking awesome?? tbh?? so thank them for this blog's continued existence. if you scroll waaaayyyy back far enough in the archive, you'll probably see that miniature saga. the images back from the first gen and onwards were a little bit icky as i got grips on how to actually go about this blog and manipulate the models in the right way to get them to work, which is why i can never really recommend folks scroll all the way back in the blog, but it's a look back into my own personal history, i suppose

apologies for breaking the magic, although i don't think anyone keeps up with the "i am a pokémon taking real live pictures of other pokémon with the camera right in their face" lore because no one pays attention to the backgrounds of the images (which used to change much more than they do now, but that's just because no one ever noticed or pointed them out. the background is not the focus of the image—it's the pokémon itself; thus, why look at the background? staging the pokémon in a setting used to be important to me, but now i don't worry about it and cycle between the same few backgrounds) or the asks, really. it's the commentary in the tags everyone comes here for, of course

she's a fully-grown woman with a house

then you'll love the top of this post

they probably wouldn't think it looks like anything because they aren't familiar with what honedge looks like so they would just picture nothing in their head. or they would just make up what they Think honedge might look like based on its name, or something, and then imagine that front-facing

i don't know which one of these is the real one. but we have some discrepancy here. also apparently this is a wider-spread belief than i thought

OKAY. i think that's all of them. if you read all the way here to the end, that's. powerful. for those of you who stuck around this long, i'm live right now with a test stream having some breakfast and playing pokémon. come join in, if you're bored this morning!

edit: it's over but i'll probably do it again some time, more likely at a more reasonable hour next time. considering the idea of doing a fully voiced pmd series—perhaps that'll be the next stream. or i'll leave another test one for it. who knows!

#not pkmn #nose ratings #extremely long post under the cut #i missed a few days of these so you're getting them ALL at once #the test stream probably won't be anything interesting btw. so you're not missing out if you don't show up #probably. who knows what i'll do. maybe i'll queue up the next set of pokémon live on camera. or maybe i'll fail at some tera raids #or maybe i'll find a random full-odds shiny in sv. or i'll go shiny hunting or something. y'never know!! #also fun fact apparently if you edit a tumblr post with a readmore‚ it moves the readmore down every time you edit it #why? no idea

[officialgleamstar]

would anyone wanna hear my thoughts on how well suited grant would be for every single ranger subclass? yes? okay awesome because i already spent 20 minutes writing it all out on discord then realized i could post that on tumblr for attention

general notes: i am, lightly, in the camp that grant shouldn't be a ranger. i think fighter or rogue would have been just fine for a shooting build and would have made more sense, i really would have liked to see him as an artificer because that would be so cool, and i think just doing the critrole gunslinger handbook would have been the smartest move, even if it isnt quite made for snipers afaik. grant would have been a terrible gunslinger stats wise, assuming from what we've seen (he's mentioned as being the strongest kiddad in this episode which isn't optimized for gunslinger), but it still would have made more sense to me. also lark should have been a ranger. regardless! grant is the ranger, and rangers are one of my favorite classes in base d&d, so i am going to infodump now

Beast Master - Severely unlikely considering Grant isn't shown to have any animal companion. Also Linc would be furiously jealous. 0/10

Drakewarden - Also severely unlikely for the same reasons as above, but I think it would be really cool. Give Grant a dragon pleeease. Linc would still be furiously jealous though. 2/10

Fey Wanderer - Unlikely since it's more Wis/magic-focused than a traditional fighting ranger build. Grant is not a wisdom/charisma guy, he is a 'shoot people' guy. 0/10

Gloom Stalker - Not one of my top three, but one that I REALLY LIKE for Grant. The emphasis on ambushing and the idea of disappearing into the background fits snipers well, and I think the... edginess LOL just suits him. It would definitely set off his "I'm evil and terrible forever and nothing can change this" intrusive thoughts if he had magical blend-into-the-darkness powers. This is what I like to headcanon Lark as having generally, but I think if Grant is the ranger of the group, then it works for him really well. 7/10

Horizon Walker - This one is, if Lark was also a ranger, what I think Lark would be canonically. Once again, this means it also works for Grant. It's more likely to me than Gloom Stalker since Horizon Walker has a lot of focus on swapping planes, and that seems to be something that the kiddads put a LOT of focus on. It also deals heavy damage, which is fitting for Grant. I can see Anthony flavoring Distant Strike as a sniper shot purely based on the name then realizing his mistake later and pretending he was right anyways. (Additional note: This is what Taylor is, which I forgot until I googled it after writing this whole long post! Good job Freddie, I did not have faith in you to make that good of a decision (joke)) 8/10

Hunter - What is most likely because it is the most generic ranger. Anthony will never think about this as much as I do. It's also good for taking lots of damage, which doesn't make sense for a sniper but I think fits Grant's general vibe of being the toughest of the kiddads. 10/10

Monster Slayer - Just Hunter but without the flexibility. So once again, makes sense, and since it's suited for archery builds, that makes it even more fitting since it can even replace the Sharpshooter feat in some ways. 10/10

Swarmkeeper - Extremely unlikely but it would be so funny and also MADE FOR ME because this is my favorite ranger subclass. Come ooon Anthony, give my silly little guy a swarm of bees or something. 0/10

#dndads #dndads s2 #dndads spoilers #grant wilson #grant li wilson #mine #I REALLY. LIKE RANGERS. #i did this for sparrow too btw but thats not as thought out LMAO

[performativezippers]

If you don’t mind me asking, how did you find a writing agent to represent you? Been interested in writing a book for a while and I thought you might have some pointers since your posts are so informative and I think you’re an awesome writer :)

Great question, and thank you so much!

Background: The reason you get an agent is because you're interested in having your book published by a publisher (not self-publishing). Not all publishing houses require you to have an agent, but all of the big ones do, and many of the other legit ones. Some big exceptions are boutique small presses, like Ylva, for example, who accept unagented submissions and sometimes even solicit people.

But in most cases, if you want to be published by a publishing house, you need an agent, which is because these houses do not accept book submissions from authors. they only accept them from agents; ergo, to be published you need to submit, and to submit you need an agent.

Answer to your question: The way you get an agent is by applying, a lot like a job application. Here are the steps:

You need to write your whole book first (unless it's nonfiction) and have it be as good as you can possibly make it. That means beta readers, editing rounds, everything. Get it to the level where if you were self publishing, you'd be done.

You write what's called a query letter for your book, which is essentially a cover letter. Title, word count, comparison titles, plot hook, character intros, take them through about 50% of the plot, establish clear stakes, plus a bio about you. All of this in 400 words, mind you. This is often the hardest thing you'll ever write. I find the podcast "The Shit No One Tells You About Writing" to be the very best way to learn how to do this, and also a LOT of great stuff about writing craft. I listen religiously even though I haven't queried in years.

Research agents. There are thousands of agents out there. Some don't rep in your genre, some are not accepting queries (only working with the clients they already have). You can follow them on social media and search "Manuscript Wishlist" or MSWL to see what they are looking for.

Start querying! Send your query letter and sample pages (usually the first 10-50 pages, depending on what each specific agent wants) to agents, usually in batches of 10-15 at a time.

WAIT

Some agents get back to you very quickly. Most never get back to you at all, and you figure sometime between 6 weeks and 6 months is a pass. It's a very awful, sad, dehumanizing process that you need to be prepared for.

I queried for a year. I queried 65 agents. I only received one offer of representation. I think this low success rate was because I had a weird book that was outside of any typical genre (this was my fault, not that I created something new) and a bad query letter, but my writing was good and my now-agent saw potential in me.

But I will say this: If the only reason you want to write a book is to be published, you should either be good with self-publishing, or not do it. The odds of being published are astoundingly low. There are many many more talented authors than there are slots for debut novels. It takes talent and perseverance and luck to make it through all of these processes and emerge with a book deal, especially from a large publishing house that will pay you an advance and treat you well.

So I'd say, write the book if you want to write the book. Make it a joyful process whose best possible outcome is it being written. And then when you're done with it, if you're ready to drink from a firehose of research, resources, rejection, and hope, then fucking do it!

#ask zipps #publishing #publishing fiction #querying

[snowangeldotmp3]

mean girls (2024)

fine. FINE. it is time to discuss mean girls (2024) bc i can't stop thinking about it and i had a severe mean girls the musical phase in 2018 and 2020 two separate times. and also i took notes watching the movie last night. so now you are all subject to hearing them. spoilers, obvi. (under the cut, of course)

i think it should be noted here that i also have Thoughts and Feelings on the bway musical. so if anyone wants to know those... moving on.

it's a movie-musical adapted from the stage musical adapted from the 2004 movie adapted from a BOOK called Queen Bees and Wannabes released in 2002. now that that's out of the way:

the good:

the sets are so much fun in the movie. the musical is like. a few desks and tables and a bed that all move and then. screens. i missed real sets. so much

opening the musical with janis and damien recording the video in the garage and having their narration work like that worked sooooo well. and then of course ending in the garage was very fun.

speaking of janis and damien, these are my favorite versions of janis and damien. auli'i and jaquel KILL IT as janis and damien.

angourie's cady (acting-wise) is really good. really cute and naïve and it feels authentic as a transition from new kid cady to plastic cady.

i also don't mind the changes to apex predator. i think auli'i and jaquel killed it and i think it works! i like the choreo too where everyone is acting animalistic (re: this is Girl World in the og movie) except regina.

avantika and bebe wood are also really great as gretchen and karen. this might be my favorite version of karen. ily karen shetty.

LOVE this version of someone gets hurt. i love regina controlling the atmospehere around her and literally becoming the apex predator. the partygoers don't move unless she allows it, and even planning cady's reaction (which is. gayer than expected) is so good.

CONTROVERSIAL TAKE? i prefer the story behind the pyro-lez thing. i never liked the space dyke story in the musical and i thought it was weird (though i prefer them calling her a space dyke because it's supposed to be mean. ya know)

im saving this for this bullet point bc every other bullet point would've been about but i've been a fan of renee's regina for forever now, so being able to see it outside of broadway and outside of shaky bootlegs is a blessing.

after regina eats shit at the talent show, during the social media montage, you can briefly hear the intrumental version of world burn, and i think thats cool.

SOMEONE GETS HURT (REPRISE) you will always be famous. i am so sorry they didn't put you on the soundtrack

damien on the jazzy will forever be funny. it's better than the og movie. i will stand by this.

also the background/looming beat of world burn like a second after janis gets done singing + the looming threat of regina's revenge is very cool.

OH world burn is very awesome in this bc. duh. of course it is. but what really stands out to me is that it's like apex predator again where everyone is acting like animals and reginas above it all (bc she did this lmao). another thing is the transition between one of the high notes to regina fake crying in mr duvalls office. that was so slay.

the reginald joke is my fave in the whole musical and im so glad they kept it. it makes me giggle every time.

canon lesbian janis imi'ike i love you.

the bad:

i miss all of the songs. give me back It Roars, Where Do You Belong, the entirety of Meet the Plastics, the What's Wrong with Me reprise, FEARLESS! and Whose House is This, More is Better, and Do This Thing!! GIVE THEM BACK TO ME!!! PLEASE!!! OH my god and Stop. jaquel would've blown this out of the water i just know it.

i miss the jokes about mrs george and her boob job. that shit was hilarious.

i don't care for cady's pov in revenge party in this one. those who have seen it Know.

i also miss the "NO! THEY'RE BOTH IN THE COSTUME!" that shit killed me. absolutely hilarious.

the musical (bway edition) actually did cut some of the iconic scenes from the movie, but i think this movie would've benefitted from adding them back in. give me the "we should totally just stab caesar!" line.

i hate Rockin Around The Pole. so fucking much. i hate it in the broadway version and i hated it in this. i hate this song so fucking much.

chris briney. that's all. he's got about as much personality as a wet piece of paper. get a different aaron.

even the broadway musical is like, actually mean. it still pales in comparison to the og movie. this movie could have done a little more to stand out from the actual musical and the og movie. idk. it could've said something. but if you walked into this movie and expected it to say something then that's on you. sorry.

this isn't something that needs to be categorized but i miss cady's inner monologue. it's very obvious in the movie but she's even got these cute little asides in the musical that i WISH they would've kept. like: "it seems kinda bad to spy on someone, but they're the first friends i've got, and i don't want to have none." is so much fun and gives cady so much character and i love it so much. erika henningsen is my favorite variation of cady. she's believable as both nerdy cady and plastic cady. also she's so, so funny. (honestly i think they should've brought her back for cady's songs in this musical. sawry. i don't think they should've replaced angourie bc i really like her cady But.)

another cute and quirky thing that i like from the musical that isn't in the movie (because it would be really hard to pull off) is that mrs heron/mrs george/mrs norbury are all played by the same actress.

anyway that's all i have to say about mean girls (2024). in my (completely unprofessional) opinion, they should've literally just adapted the actual musical script if they wanted to make this so bad. or released a pro-shot with renee as regina and this cast or something. they should've gone all out campy musical with this one instead of trying to market it as a remake bc it's not Really a remake. like it Is but it's Not.

if u read this whole thing thank you. if you saw this post and went "jesus christ" im sorry. i wish i could stop thinking about it, too.

#mean girls #mean girls 2024 #mean girls 2024 spoilers #just my 2 cents. #i didn't include the touring production changes bc i did not like the touring production changes. they changed a part of It Roars #and Fearless and i did Not care for that shit at all #next week's category: beetlejuice the musical #just kidding #but yeah. there's my thoughts on that. sorry everyone. #for more thoughts on things you don't care about please feel free to follow my letterboxd <3

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

Belphegor with a Mothperson!Mc

this piece belongs to this and has 632 Words

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they are fluffy, nocturnal and can easily get him from even the highest spot he found to nap on and if that isn´t the best partner ever for Belphie he doesn’t what else could be I mean sure every time they see light they want to fly to it and did eat half of his and Beel´s wardrobe but even if they did that everyday they would still spend less on clothes than Asmo does

but it can be awesome to use them to annoy Lucifer most notably he just set them free in Lucifer´s room and watched the chaos unfold but the chaos was just them eating all of the textiles in his room and Lucifer not doing anything because he actually likes them and Lucifer openly said they are his favorite and he shouldn´t have because now Satan and Belphegor can exploit it

they also put them in a white sheet and told them top fly around like crazy for no reason actually all three of them just thought scaring random people would be funny, Satan and Belphie were on the ground making scary noises or just any to make it more believable, it was a great day for all of them

they even took a picture with Mammon in the background, why was he in the background? easy he doesn´t do well with Horror and they were so good he fainted in fear, they actually insisted they at least carry Mammon home because Satan and Belphie would have just left him there they know that Mammon always finds his way home also he´s heavy and neither of the two really felt like dragging him around

they were left in the dust while they flew away with Mammon, felt like a pretty big insult towards him but they still let Belphie nap with them so he forgot really quickly

… is what he thought because now he just remembered that was a thing that happened

“why did you leave me alone with Satan?” they just looked completely lost “what?”

“you know last week when you flew away with Mammon”

“Belphie did you seriously just woke me up for that”

“answer my question” they sighed “well if you weren´t up for just abandoning your older Brother, which mind you you were part of the reason why he fainted in the first place, I would have gladly taken you with me”

“you suck” he felt them move around, no doubt trying to free themselves from him he won´t allow them to but it´s funny to see them struggle, the only time it was funnier is when they got stuck in a giant spiders net they struggled like their life was on the line which if he wasn´t there it probably would have been

“if I didn´t know throwing tantrums like an infant is how you usually are I could tell you some very rude words I carefully choose to hurt as much as possible” he just held them tighter “your completely evil” he chuckled a bit “and that´s exactly why I love you”

“I don´t I actually hate you and this is just an elaborate plan to kill you”

“did you know you aren´t even half as funny as you think you are” they faked a gasp and even made it a point to make it as loud as possible in hopes of annoying him which did not work at all they did it far to often and now it just lost any and all way to even slightly bother him “that´s a lie I´m hilarious”

he just snuggled into their fur even deeper “uh-hu whatever you say”

“I am!” he didn´t even bother to answer them, he just pretended to fall asleep and let´s them let out their anger at nothing

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me fanfiction #obey me fic #obey me fanfic #obey me belphegor x mc #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me belphegor #belphegor avatar of sloth

[clunelover]

I love my BFF so much, but we had a convo a few weeks ago that got me very emo and I still haven't quite recovered.

She was talking about how she's thinking more and more about shifting into private practice, and how between the flexible schedule that could give her, plus her husband now exclusively working as a dog sitter/walker, also flexible, and her parents being willing to help a lot with childcare, they probably won't have to put their baby in daycare at all.

I think this is AWESOME. And she's been private-practice-curious for a couple years now, and probably would've already made the jump if not for being pregnant, or trying to get pregnant, for so long and needing solid insurance. I have known even before she did that it would be a situation where, once you get a taste of that money + scheduling freedom, you'll never go back. So none of this is surprising to me -- all good!!!

Her parents, however, for as many awesome qualities as they have (and they really are awesome, I love them so much and wish they could be my parents, or in particular I wish her dad could be my dad), are unhealthily tied to the ideal of productivity. Her dad is a farmer and her mom was an ADA. They have both worked HARD, forever. They have definitely assigned morality to one's job status. It goes a long way to explaining why BFF finished college a year early and has almost always worked at least two jobs, even if she didn't strictly need to.

So, that's all background to a couple weeks ago, BFF had told her mom that her husband was not going back to his part time office job at all, and would only do dog gigs. Her mom freaked out way too much about this. They moved past it, but BFF was very much still smarting over it. She started recounting to me what her mom said, and what she thought about what her mom said, and then some general thoughts about the merits of daycare vs. no daycare - and I realize that what was really happening is, she was replaying the fight with her mom, and talking to her mom and not actually to me. BUT it was jumbled up enough that I did think she was talking more TO me (plus, like...she literally was? Talking to me?)

And I was nodding along and you-go-girling, until she said some things like "I wanted to have a baby for so long, and now I finally do, so why would I go through all this time and heartache to get her here, only to stick her in daycare all day?" ...again, now that I know she didn't mean that at ME, I can kinda swallow it, but it was hard not to think "oh yeah, so I had a baby quickly, so I guess I didn't want the baby as much? And so that's why I didn't care about 'sticking them in daycare all day'??"

The other offending comment was "I know lots of people do have to send their kids to daycare!" (which to me implies, the only reason you'd make such a horrible choice is if you HAD to).

In the moment I just cried and couldn't say much coherent other than "you can say these things without having to bash daycare."

I just drove home crying and replaying it...it wasn't til I got home that I grasped just how much she wasn't even talking to me - like, at one point she said "and you were lucky enough to be able to afford daycare for three kids" and in the moment I just thought "huh? I only have two kids" but then later I put that together - her MOM has three kids.

She texted to apologize and confirmed that she just got in a rant and couldn't stop. I've seen her at least once since then and it was all good. But I think she has this underlying thought still that she can't talk about her choices now without worrying about offending me and making me think she's condemning my choices, when it's not actually about me at all! But it's hard to explain that I am actually pretty receptive to statements like "I'd rather configure my schedule so my husband and I can take turns with the baby" or even "I don't want to send her to daycare" as long as they don't veer so far into judgment about daycare and the people who "have to" send their kids there.

IDK I don't think I'll bring it up tho, unless it comes up naturally. There's just too much risk I'll stumble over my words and start crying and make it worse.

Also this horrible conversation was part of what made me really start looking at the idea of me eventually stopping working. She was saying something about their budget changing, but that "there is no number"- i.e. no amount of additional income that would make it "worth" sending the baby to daycare - and that made me realize that there's no number for me either - no amount of extra income that makes the logistical realities of two kids and two full times jobs more manageable.

So...all's well that ends well hopefully.

[justphilia]

Hello everynyan :3 I wrote somethang :]

Fandom: SPY x FAMILY (Anime) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Becky Blackbell & Anya Forger, Anya Forger & Loid Forger | Twilight & Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess, Damian Desmond & Anya Forger, Damian Desmond/Anya Forger, Loid Forger | Twilight/Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess Characters: Anya Forger, Becky Blackbell, Damian Desmond, Emile Elman, Ewen Egeburg, Loid Forger | Twilight, Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess, Original Characters Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Background Relationships, (as in just like in canon, romance is not the focus), Theatre, Cinderella references (not disney), Comedy, Fluff, reads like an episode basically, Not Beta Read, Self-Indulgent

Preview:

As per yearly tradition, Eden Academy once again opens up auditions for every cohort to try and earn a spot on their respective theater plays. Scripts are predetermined, so all they really have to do is display their ability to act and memorize their scripts, and hence…

“You’ll get a Stella for landing a leading role?” her father raises his brows in surprise, definitely brimming with interest behind his wilting newspaper.

“Ye,” she nods once firmly, fists clenched up to her chest.

Anya wasn’t really interested in the theater play from the start, but Becky, with her fair share of interest towards drama and all things romantic, heard the storyline they picked for their cohort is going to be Cinderella—a classic among all ages—and so wouldn’t stop talking about it.

Overhearing this, Damian ended up revealing the Stella bit between his ramblings of, “I’m totally gonna land the prince’s role.” and “You’re gonna watch my wonderful performance on stage soon!”, which then prompted Anya to boldly declare that she’ll audition too.

It’s two birds one stone, she thought to herself as her father mulls it over. If she lands any lead roles, she’ll get a Stella and spend more time with Damian, boosting their friendship status.

“Oh, Anya,” he would say—she can already imagine it. “Acting with you was so fun! Let’s do more acting at my house and also bring your dad to meet my dad!”

“Okay dokey,” she would answer, very cooly but also surprised so he wouldn’t think she planned this.

“Hurray, you have achieved world peace, Anya!” her father would then say, right after. “Good job! Millions of peanuts for you!”

“Did you bring the script?” her real, non-fantasy father asks, snapping her out of her daydream. She nods once again, running to her bag to pull out a relatively thick script—about the width of her clenched fist, but still lighter than all her textbooks combined.

He does not say it, but she clearly hears him go, Oh dear. 

She lets him take a look, knowing it won’t take long because she’s seen how fast he can read, and makes her way over to her mother, who has busied herself with doing the laundry right next to her husband on the couch.

“Is mama any good at acting?” she asks, resting her cheek on one of her mother’s legs.

“Oh, I don’t really think so,” her mother laughs in reply, shaking her head. “I’ve never been an actor, and I’ve never tried.”

“What about you, papa?” Anya turns to her father, despite knowing fully well what his true answer will be. As bad of a liar he is, his ability to alter his expressions at will is definitely awesome. If Anya didn’t have the ability to read minds, she would’ve thought his feelings could change just as easily. 

“I’m not sure about stage performances, but I suppose I have to act a little in front of my patients,” he answers. She thought he would’ve said no flat out. “Otherwise, showing my true feelings may disrupt the trust between us.”

“Maybe I can become a star!” Anya says cheerfully, clasping her hands together as she dreams of herself on the red carpet. 

Her father’s smile strains, “Perhaps.”

#spy x family #yor briar forger #anya forger #loid forger #damian desmond #sxf #becky blackbell

[impossiblesuitcase]

I honestly adore your writing,did it came naturally for you or you progressed it i'd like to learn your writer story

Hey!

Well honestly creative writing was never 'my calling'. I wasn't bad at it at school but I didn't feel inspired to write novels. I've always enjoyed writing analytically which you can probably tell from my mini essays on here. And I am foremost a musician so my song writing was probably what I would have considered my creative writing strength.

I enjoy reading and that's what motivated me to start writing fanfiction. I never thought of it being very serious and didn't feel that it qualified me as a 'writer' because it wasn't an original work. But recently I've looked back at my accounts and realised that I've written 35 fanfics and over 135,000 words. That's the length of a Heroes of Olympus book. So while I'm not an author per se, I'm happy to consider myself a casual writer. It's a good mindset to have that you don't have to excel at only one thing in life; it's awesome to be good, or even average, at multiple things.

I learnt narrative writing through practise. Dialogue, descriptions and story ideas come naturally to me, but the rest I continually work to improve at. Pacing, story logic and phrasing are things I'm still learning, and because my background is in analytic writing I've had to unlearn some habits of technical jargon and instead simplify my diction. Revising is also 90% of my writing process so that's important to learn. Some fics I write and post within a few days, some I've stored for years before I was finally happy with them.

The best way I learnt these skills was by reading and applying. That's really how you learn to write. I've also learnt that you have to enjoy your own writing. Write fics that you want to read! Laugh at your own jokes! Cringe at past writing!

Anyways you guys seem to like most of the stuff I put out so as long as I continue coming up with ideas, you'll probably still see stuff from me. And I appreciate the comments I get, though I still don't know why so many of you call me Marissa 😂 Please leave a comment when you can on fanfics--not just mine! That gives us writers motivation to continue.

This is the first question I've gotten about my writing process and I loved answering it, so thank you! I'm more than happy to talk about it.

#the lunar chronicles #lunar chronicles fanfiction

[p5x-theories]

This is just a thought I’m putting out but me and some friends of mine who are a big fan of the Persona franchise made ourselves some Persona 5 OC and I think I’d be pretty cool and awesome if persona 5 X had used other people’s persona OCs for their game, confidants for the protagonist or just characters for requests or even background characters I think this would be a great idea to put other people’s ideas and creativity together.

Oh, I have Persona OCs as well, so I definitely understand where you're coming from!

Thinking about the logistics of it, though, I don't know if you'd really want them to do that. On the legal side of things, you'd basically have to give them ownership of your character for them to implement them in the game with the freedom I'm sure they'd like, which isn't something I'd personally want to do, though maybe some people would be fine with it. The other thing is that, if they were to make the entire game's cast OCs, or even just a significant portion, they've basically used your designs and ideas for (presumably) free instead of hiring their own character designers, and I wouldn't want to encourage companies to take advantage of fans like that.

I think an exception to this would be if they did it as a contest, with the top prize being "your character becomes a P5X character", as more of a promotional thing than a "do our work for us" thing. I wouldn't have a problem with that, as long as they were clear how ownership rights would transfer. (Also, as a disclaimer, I wouldn't have this issue with a fan game- it's the fact that it's a big company and big companies often take advantage of artists.)

Sorry, I guess that's not really a fun answer. I really do understand why it sounds like a fun idea, and I do think it'd give a chance for other people to give some input on the game, and involve the fans in a cool way! I'd just be worried about people losing the rights to their own characters, or otherwise getting a really unfair deal.

#acesuperstar96

[sapphire-weapon]

Thoughts on Hunnigan? I like her character more in the remake and in the back of my head she is also an okay person to ship with Leon but her background is so sparse. But I like to think she is one of Leon's good friends.

I'll never forget how hype the fandom got when they brought Hunnigan back the first time and made it clear that she was going to be Leon's support in almost everything moving forward. It was really heartwarming, because you don't usually see that kind of overwhelming fan support for a character who is A. so minor B. a woman, and C. black. And then in RE6, one of the few things that was universally hailed as An Awesome Thing That Game Did, Actually was "OMG HUNNIGAN HAS LEGS!!!!!!!!!" lmao

But the thing about Hunnigan is that her entire character was written with the intention of her personality and dialogue playing perfectly off of Leon's. And that's just true for whatever she's in -- whatever tone or mood Leon's supposed to be carrying in a story, Hunnigan reflects back at him. If he's being snarky, she snarks back. If he's frustrated, she's frustrated. If he's curious about something, she wants to know more about it, too.

Even when they're butting heads, they're doing it at the same pitch, with the same mood. This is by design in order to not distract from whatever conflict the story is presenting and adding an extra, unnecessary level of tension between Leon and his support.

So, while it's easy to love Hunnigan... that's because she's basically just an extension of Leon. She's barely a character in her own right.

If they were to ever actually flesh out her character more, I'd probably honestly ship the fuck out of her with Leon. But as it stands right now, there's no there there because they're just too similar; a story cannot exist without conflict, and there really isn't any conflict between them because they're so much of equals who get along so well. The most I ever shipped them was after OG RE4, because she does kind of poke at him and make fun of him (in a friendly way) in that game, and the way she rejected him at the end did not at all sound like a real rejection to me. I kind of walked away from OG like "oh hell naw he's definitely gonna fuck her eventually" LMAO but then, as the series has gone on... no. No, I don't think that anymore. Not even a little bit.

I also don't think that she's one of Leon's "good friends" -- mostly because I don't think Leon has any good friends -- but they are, at least, good work friends (which, yes, is different). At the very least, he's definitely bitched to her about work before. That bit at the very end of Damnation where Leon's just doing shots and bitching, and eventually Hunnigan's like "Leon, don't --" and he cuts her off and says "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." tells me that she's been present for at least one instance of Leon having a real bad day and throwing a "I'm gonna walk out, I'm just gonna fucking walk out, I DARE THEM TO SAY SOME SHIT TO ME BECAUSE I WILL WALK THE FUCK OUT" fit that literally every working professional has thrown at some point in their lives lmao And you only have those kinds of fits around people you trust.

Would I hate it if Leon's story ended with him hanging up his guns and getting a drink with Hunnigan? Absolutely not. And, to be honest, I think that's one of the very few options for Capcom to choose that the majority of the fandom would accept as not being outrageous or infuriating.

But, at the same time, is that what I actively want for his character? Also no. Hunnigan is safe. Literally the safest option for Capcom to take regarding Leon at any given point, about anything -- because that's how she was designed. And, after all the shit this series has put him through, I'd like to see more of a payoff for his character than that.

But. You know. It's... whatever. It'd be fine. LMAO

#resident evil #resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #ingrid hunnigan

[wrathkitty]

Also (hey it’s me, anon who’s obsessed with Din), I just have to say how much I love Short Debts and how much of an experience it’s been to read it. I think about getting dropped in the Star Wars universe a lot (almost an embarrassing amount) and your story has scratched a really special, specific itch I didn’t even know was there.

It’s so fun getting to read about an Earth girl in the Star Wars universe (side note: how is this not a more popular trope???), but then to have the story be so incredibly well-written??? It’s so unique and perfect and ugh! It hits just right. You include enough details to show Eleanor’s familiarity with Star Wars, but somehow that never takes us out of the story. Like, we know that Eleanor knows it’s a fake world, but that doesn’t make it less real—to us or to her. You do such a good job of toeing that line, keeping us immersed without shying away from the implications. It feels really effortless on your part, even though I’m sure that it’s not (or maybe it is, you’re super talented so idk).

Also, you’re an incredibly engaging writer so I would have loved Short Debts no matter what, but . . . Eleanor. Oh my god, Eleanor. Holy forking shirtballs, Eleanor! I love when writers give the reader an actual personality and backstory, even if it doesn’t line up with my own (but I’ve also never understood the hate against OC’s so idk maybe I’m just weird). That said, there’s been something so special about getting to read a Star Wars self-insert from the POV of a character I really identify with. I practice family law and have terrible ADHD so… yeah. I remember from an author’s note or something that you’re also an overeducated, underpaid millennial who works with kids (and maybe ND?), so I’m sure that you’ve put a lot of yourself in her (NOT a bad thing—also don’t get what fandom has against self-insert, especially when it’s done well). I’m glad you did—as an overeducated, underpaid millennial, it’s been really fun!

Also, there’s something about Eleanor’s thought process. Not just her background or the situation she’s in, but the way she rationalizes it. She feels real.

I think part of it is how she doesn’t assume anything. Eleanor doesn’t look at her surroundings and think, “this is the world from my television, so that means a, b, c, etc.” She’s more, “this looks like the world from my television” and doesn’t really think she knows something until it’s been confirmed in her new surroundings. Like the GFFA feels more real to her than her own. And something about that just feels sooooo right. I think it’s what gives the story weight.

It’s so weird. A lot of her behaviors are… exactly how I would respond to being dropped in a fictional universe. But somehow I never would have known if you hadn’t written it out first. I’m so curious—How did you know? I feel like you must really understand the human psyche. I always thought my first response to waking up in a fictional world would be something like “oh my god I’m in a TV show,” “give up now, just die,” “is this the afterlife,” “take advantage of insider knowledge,” “try to find a way home,” etc. But no. Actually, no, I wouldn’t do any of that. There might be, like, five seconds of discombobulation as my internal compass reorients, but after that . . . I’d just be.

Like how life is weird now, but we only think about it sometimes and never with much weight. And even if my surroundings looked similar to what I saw on TV, I wouldn’t consider myself to be in a TV show any more than I’d consider myself to be in a google image search while in Paris. There’s a clear, weird line between observer and participant, and I think you knew this intuitively, but somehow I never realized I would never actually question the validity of a world in which I was an active participant . . .

Sorry, I don’t know where I’m going with this! I didn’t mean to spam your inbox! I just really love your writing!! And I wanted to say thank you for putting something awesome out there!!

Also I saw something the other day about how Star Wars works best as a lens for other genres and thought of Short Debts. I think that’s another reason it’s so good. Totally a time travel romance with a Star Wars filter & I am living for it 😂

Good God, keep spamming my inbox! Comments like these are the crack that sustain me and kick the plot gremlins in their stupid faces to get them going again. Getting your comments was the highlight of my weekend.

It makes me so happy to know that you love Eleanor! As terrible as my writer's block is most days, I am incredibly grateful that the three OCs I've written took on a life of their own without me having to plot much out ahead of time.

And, yes, you are remembering correctly -- I'm an overeducated, underpaid millennial who works with kids, and I totally ride the ND rainbow. I like to joke that my mental history is a choose-your-own-adventure through the DSM-V. ADHD is a bitch, and to be able to navigate that while practicing family law -- damn. I'm sending you hugs and high fives and positive energy, but none of the squirrel cliches, because OMFG.

[insertsickusername13]

this is quite possibly the worst thing I have ever written (not self-deprecating, just objective, I'm awesome, I love myself, blah, blah blah) but I'm sharing it bc the richjake fandom needs to be fed.

inspired by this post (link may or may not work, I'm bad at tech, it's by @theabyssgazesalsointoyou and the gist is rich wearing jake's clothes and jake loving it but I like...twisted the idea. a lot. for my own purposes.) and one of my headcanons that I can't say without spoiling the whole thing. kinda. whatever.

anywho here is this fic. i wanted it to be like 700 words but it's 2611 and I'm not giving you any hints as to what it's about, just read it!! for me!! anywho enjoy

Before moving in with Jake, Rich had spent almost every night at Michael’s house. Despite being hesitant to let a scarred arsonist sleep at their house, Michael's parents had grown to accept him as almost a son within days. He did chores, went to family events, he even started to rival Jeremy’s title as their favorite friend of Michael’s. He didn’t quite snatch the spot before Jake invited him over for dinner one night and, instead of just cooking Rich pasta, gifted him an entire bedroom and house key. (To please Michael’s parents, Rich had always called that night ‘the great kidnapping’)

Rich was endlessly grateful to Jake for letting him move in, happy to not only have his own space but also to get the privilege of waking up to see that gorgeous face in his kitchen every morning. He wouldn’t have it any other way, really.

But there was still that small part of him that was only sixteen, and though Jake gave him independence and a new type of love Rich had never thought would be directed his way (it couldn’t be romantic, Jake was straight, but there was this glowing adoration in Jake’s eyes whenever he looked in Rich’s direction that made Rich forget about the SQUIP and fire), he couldn’t offer the same familial love Michael’s household could. 

So, no more than once a month, Rich would spend the night at Michael’s. It wasn’t the same as it had been before—Rich was a guest this time around rather than a resident—but Michael’s parents still lit up at the sight of him and spent the entire night feeding him and playing board games in the living room. They asked about school, girls, boys—all the things Jake subconsciously knew and didn’t need to ask about. Rich, grinning, would happily answer all their questions while Michael (sometimes with Jeremy, sometimes alone) would do something or other in the background, completely unentertained. 

Rich looked forward to those nights. Jake knew he looked forward to those nights. Which was probably why he decided not to tell Rich he had a 101.8 degree fucking fever.

“Since when?!” he whisper-yelled into his phone speaker, holding it close to his mouth to keep as quiet as possible. He was hiding in Michael’s bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bathtub while Michael and his family ate dinner. He was supposed to be with them, but Brooke had been texting him non-stop for the past ten minutes, and considering their friendship mostly consisted of group events and choosing each other for group projects in classes they had together, he decided it was probably urgent enough to sneak away from dinner to see what the hell was going on. 

“I don’t know!!” Brooke whisper-yelled back, mimicking Rich even though she had no reason to keep quiet, “He was complaining about having a headache earlier?”

Rich ran a stressed hand through his hair. He could hear his heel tapping against the tile floor, though he was completely unaware of the motion. He wasn’t—he wasn’t that overprotective, okay? He knew Jake could handle himself in almost any situation. But he also knew Jake was probably the most independent person he’d ever met, and if he texted Brooke asking for help (technically he’d asked for, quote, ‘love and affection’, but for him, that was practically the same thing), then he was probably on the verge of death. So yes. He was stressed. Not panic-attack-break-down kind of stress, but reaching not-abiding-to-speed-limits-on-the-way-home levels.

“Is he gonna be okay on his own?” he asked, knowing full well that whether or not Brooke said no, he’d probably still end up going home anyway. He thought mournfully back to the wonderful meal Michael’s parents had prepared for him. Honestly, with the image of Jake all alone at home, it suddenly didn’t seem that appetizing. 

“I don’t know, probably. He said he threw up.”

“Fuck. Okay. You don’t need to go over, it’s fine. I’ll be there in twenty.”

“Are you sure? I can probably—”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure. He’ll probably be embarrassed as fuck if he finds out you had to come over and take care of him.”

“He literally asked me to.”

“He’s not mentally stable right now, it doesn’t count,” Rich replied, already getting up and opening the bathroom door. 

“Fair point. Don’t tell him I told you, by the way, he doesn’t want you to know.”

“Seriously?! That ass—” he glanced down the hall to see Mrs. Mell looking at him curiously. “ —jerk,” he amended.

“Shut up. He was being nice, wanted you to enjoy Michael’s house and all.”

“Of course. I hate him. I’m gonna go now, I’ll text you when I get there. Bye.”

“B—” her voice cut off before she could finish. By the time she’d realized he’d hung up, his phone was already in his pocket as he walked back into the dining room. 

Mrs. Mell was giving him an innocently hurt expression, clearly confused as to why he left dinner just to take a phone call in the bathroom. Rich felt guilt well up in his throat—-this house was quite possibly the closest thing he had to a real family—but Jake. Jake took priority over every other thing on this planet, no matter how loving or kind.

“I’m really sorry,” Rich said, walking back to his seat only to stand behind his chair rather than sit down. “Jake’s got a fever and I can’t—I gotta go make sure he’s okay.”

Mrs. Mell #2 (not Rich’s least favorite, just the second one he was introduced to) frowned. 

“Aww, sweetie,” she said, “Are you sure you have to go?”

“Yeahh,” Michael said, voice drawn out by the excesses of weed he’d done before Rich arrived (Jeremy had been over, Rich didn’t want to know what they’d been doing in that basement), “Are you sureee?” 

Rich was positive Michael’s parents didn’t notice his sarcasm.

“Yeah, I know, it’s terrible,” Rich said, deadpan just to piss Michael off, before turning to his parents. “Seriously, I would love to stay, but he’s a total mess. Can we reschedule for next weekend?”

Even as he said it, even as they were offering to let him take leftovers home with him, Rich was drifting towards the door, mind already focused completely on Jake. He slipped his shoes on as quickly as he could and left, offering goodbye smiles and adult-leaving-an-adult-party waves (since moving in with Jake, a lot of the things he did seemed a lot more adult now. Small talk with strangers, paying bills, going grocery shopping—growing up wasn’t nearly as life-changing as he thought it was going to be. Most of the time, it just consisted of snuggling with Jake on the couch as they did homework together).

He didn’t let his fake smile falter until he was pulling out of their driveway messily, hitting the brakes too hard when he realized he was going too fast and forgetting to switch on his turn signal until he was already rounding the corner out of their neighborhood. He considered texting Jake, but he didn’t find the time to pick up his phone between buying cold medicine from CVS and searching the isles for Jake’s favorite snacks and an herbal tea that was advertised to reduce congestion. With no update as to how Jake was doing, he ran a few red lights and ignored a few laws that were probably important for the safety of everyone on the roads on the way home.

“Jake?” he called the second he opened the door. The whole house reeked of sickness, the blinds pulled down, the lights off, and the kitchen messy. There was a pot on the stove with ramen still in it, a half-eaten pop tart on the island, and a couple of bowls on the counter. Rich cringed. Jake was a neat freak. Not a good sign. 

Rich dropped his bag of stuff on the counter and cast a glance at the living room as he passed, just in case Jake was on the couch. He wasn’t.

“Jakey?” he called again, this time a bit gentler. He knocked on Jake’s bedroom door, not waiting for an answer before opening it. 

Empty. Jake’s bed was a mess, the covers pulled off and all the pillows gone, but there was no Jake. Rich went as far as to check the floor on the far side of the bedroom, but that was as spotless as it had been this morning. 

Okay. That was fine. This was totally fine. Stress level: phone-in-hand-to-call-the-police. Slowly reaching the-love-of-my-life-died-and-I’m-going-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-mourning. 

“Jakey? Where are you, bro?”

The bro felt heavy in his mouth, mixed dangerously with the pure, soft, obviously romantic concern.

“R’ch?” Jake called, voice so hoarse it gave up on the ‘i’ in Rich’s name and slipped right into the ‘ch’ that sounded more like a ‘k’. Rich, previously unaware that one person could sound so completely helpless, stumbled from Jake’s room and into his own, drawn to Jake’s voice like a fucking cliche, metaphorical magnet. 

“Jesus Christ,” Rich breathed. Jake was on his side, piled under both Rich’s comforter and his own. He was shivering, his face both pale and flushed with sickness. Alone. The fact he hadn’t called Rich—he’d just planned on staying here by himself—

Rich, who’d dedicated months to undoing all the damage Jake’s parents had done, sent up a curse directed both at himself for failing to notice Jake was sick earlier and Jake’s parents for leading him to believe he couldn’t ask for help when he was like this.

At least Jake had found comfort in Rich’s clothes, apparently. Four of Rich’s shirts were strewn across the bed and one of his favorite hoodies was being used as a pillow. Another was being used as a stuffed animal, Jake snuggling it with his mouth and nose burrowed in the fabric. Rich, for the life of him, could not figure out why Jake would do such a thing, considering he could hear his rattling breathing from here.

“‘M not feelin’ good,” Jake said, muffled by the shirt. Rich laughed incredulously as he knelt next to the bed and pressed the back of his hand against Jake’s forehead. 

“Yeah, buddy, I can tell. What’re you doing in my bed? You trying to get me sick too?”

For some reason, that seemed to upset Jake. His breathing quickened without deepening, and Rich could practically hear Jake’s snot leaking onto Rich’s hoodie. Disgusting. 

“No,” Jake whispered, his voice cracking, “No, Richie, I’d never, I swear, I—”

“I know, I know, it was a joke,” he replied quietly, making a small ‘shh’ing sound to try and soothe him.

Rich could see Jake frowning even behind his sweatshirt. As gently as he could, he reached for the fabric to take it away from Jake’s mouth, hoping it could help him breathe easier. The second he tried, though, Jake made a whining sound and shuffled away, hugging it closer and letting out a tiny sob. 

“No.”

“No? Okay, that’s okay. But don’t you think moving it will help you breathe?”

Jake shook his head ‘no.’ Rich frowned. Okay, different approach then.

“You’re getting snot all over my sweatshirt,” he said, plain and simple if not a bit accusatory. He sounded so much more apathetic than he felt. He was playing this ‘straight boy who doesn’t care that you look so small and helpless and oh my god I want to kiss you,  wait, no I don’t, I’m straight’ character really well.

That, unsurprisingly, got Jake to let go of it long enough for Rich to pull the sweatshirt away and add it to his growing pile of laundry. There was shuffling behind him as Jake tried to sit up. 

“Do you need anything?” Rich asked, turning back to Jake, “Soup? Medicine? A… Jake?”

Jake was upright and crying. Straight-up tears pouring down his face, eyes red and lips pursed pathetically. He was clenching the comforter against his chest and trying to hide his face behind it without getting snot on it as Rich had previously complained about. 

‘What’s—holy shit, what’s wrong?” 

Rich shot across the room, searching Jake for some injury that could cause him to fucking—

Rich had never seen Jake cry before. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to run and hide, to protect himself from such an unholy sight, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Jake here. Alone.

“‘M sorry,” Jake sobbed, collapsing forward onto Rich’s shoulder. Rich could feel Jake’s fever through his shirt and, not caring if he got sick, wrapped his arms around Jake and pulled him closer. “I didn’t wanna—I just missed you so much, and you were so so far away and you’re so tiny—”

Instinctively, in a desperate attempt to return some normalcy, Rich squeaked out, “I’m not that short!!”

Jake shook his head and cried harder. Rich ran a soothing hand through his hair. 

“You’re so short your stupid sweatshirt doesn’t fit—”

Rich paused. 

“I’m—what?”

“You—” Jake rasped through tears, “—you always wear my stupid sweatshirt when you’re sad and… and I thought it might make me happy if I could smell you, or pretend you’re here and not at stupid Michael’s, but—but you’re so small it doesn’t fit, and I tried to hug it but it wasn’t enough because I was cold and you’re warm and if you were with me I would never ever be cold, so—so I came here and I didn’t mean to mess up your clothes ‘nd make you angry.”

If Jake continued like this, Rich’s heart was going to erode away into nothing but Jake Jake Jake. He was going to get a false sense of hope that nothing could break. The world was already more golden than it had been before, already so much brighter despite the fact Jake was crying. 

“I’m not angry, idiot. I just wanted you to be able to breathe.”

Jake’s sobbing ceased. Nuzzling deeper against Rich, he whispered, sounding childish, “Are you sure?”

“Of course. Of course, dumbass.”

Jake tried to laugh with relief, but all that came out was a coarse groan and unhappy sigh. Rich kissed Jake’s forehead as he untangled himself and laid Jake back down on the bed, ignoring Jake’s protests. 

“I’m not letting myself get sick, but I promise you, you can have my entire closet until you're better, yeah?” Rich said, unable to stop his giddy smile.

Jake gave him a sleepy but content sound of agreement.

“I wan' that stupid shirt with the nerdy science pun on it," Jake breathed, already drifting off to sleep.

If any other sick person in the universe was asking, Rich would flip them off and tell them it was his favorite shirt and no one could touch it. No one was even allowed to eat spaghetti at the same table as him while he was wearing it. 

But it was pretty, smart, perfect Jake, so Rich took it off its hanger and gave it to the poor guy to snuggle with for the next three days. 

(And if, while Jake was still delirious with fever and sound asleep, Rich snuck from the house and to Target just to get a sweatshirt for himself in Jake’s size, then no one needed to know. If he had to hide his smile behind his hand when he walked into their apartment a week and a half later to find Jake cooking dinner in that same sweatshirt, then only God was his witness. If he was so overwhelmed at the sight that he grabbed the drawstrings and dragged Jake down to his height to kiss him, then that was between him and Jake. 

And everyone else. Because Jake, apparently, felt the immediate need to brag about getting ‘Rich fucking Goranski, like the hottest guy fucking EVER to kiss me, Jenna, he kissed me. Me!!')

#bmc #rich goranski #jake dillinger #michael mell #richjake #i wrote this instead of studying for midterms #also that hc i had was that jake gets emotional when he's sick #ahhhh i'm gonna die lmao #also inspired by that one tall guy i was with who constantly talked abt wishing he could wear his so's clothes #this is for u buddy #sorry i was too short for u #sparkly star fanfic #for sorting purposes #inspired by my pfp

[poryphoria]

mbbgg crackpot psychoanalysis time

ive seen a startling amount of people who just straight up Don't know who he is which is like kinda understandable when he doesn't show up in the animations but at the same time he has a full fledged bossfight in project nexus so * shrug *

but in effect i think his forgettability is a thing in-universe, too. he gets mike wazowski'd out of pictures of all 3 head scientists. people recognize & remember christoff n hofnarrs work all the time but if you ask them about the enmeshment program they just kinda.....?? so sorry?? or at best it's like a "oh, that? did that ever even go anywhere? sounded crazy lol idk how that even got approved"

i think his rivalry with christoff was super one-sided. it was everything to him but moreso a footnote annoyance to christoff. i kinda think abt the fact that christoff came back to nexus city, had every opportunity to have some sort of confrontation or final showdown with him like to "settle the score", and just Did Not. bc he was busy. with more important things

he has the ADHD cycle syndrome of "OH!! IM GONNA START ON THIS PROJECT AND ITLL BE AWESOME!!" -> "OK SUDDENLY I DONT FEEL LIKE WORKING ON THIS ANYMORE" -> "WHAT IF I STARTED A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THING INSTEAD" and that's why he never really got much done or is known for much. he was only really able to stick with the enmeshment program out of sheer spite for christoff and everyone else who thought it was insane

he has really awful anxiety that both feeds into and stems from all of this- he's afraid of bothering people and avoids asking for things if he can help it, so most of the time he just kinda fades into the background and keeps to himself. it kinda leads to this self perpetuating cycle of misery.

in general i like to think he was the youngest of the science team (only in his 40s at the time of joining nexus while hofnarr & christoff were closer to their 60s and 50s, respectively) nd like they're all adults by then who know better than to act like highschoolers, but it did sort of impact the way people treated him a little. like people just assumed he didn't have as much experience or was in over his head or didn't automatically know as much as everyone else

all of this also probably fed into autism related anger issues where he just had a tendency to snap at people and in general over completely benign things, n coupled with his Everything Else it kinda just made people. not wanna be around him.

he's emotionally constipated and can barely get a sentence out about the way he feels abt things without breaking down into tears and then the fact that he's crying over nothing frustrates him and he starts crying harder and then. well. you understand

overall he's just an incredibly world weary, drained person who is constantly being spoken over, forgotten and left behind to me and who leaps like a tick at any slight suggestion of attention or praise.

post-nexus, i think he behaves so differently bc he's finally just snapped over years of being a nobody and is fully dedicated to gouging himself into people's memory. he's super loud and flashy & flamboyant (flambuoyant?) and demands to be worshipped and praised and revered! he acts almost solely on impulse & intrusive thoughts and has to keep moving constantly and never stops to second-guess and refuses to be burdened by fears and worries.

hes my babygirl i have a lotta thoughts about him. i like picking his brain apart

#pory turgles #madcom #madness combat #madness project nexus #project nexus #dr crackpot #dr. crackpot