#I don't think I'm a good person | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anxietyvent376 · 1 year

Text

i am so insanely afraid that if I recover from this mindset I will go back to feeling the same kind of unshakeable loneliness I carried for the 8 years before I met the friends I can't allow myself to have this year. Why is it that right when I find good friends, I can't be a good one to them? Why is this shit so crushing? Why can't I handle myself? I need to get better and that requires being able to isolate myself from people but I don't fucking want to. I want to learn how to be a person and still be happy while I discover myself. I don't want to be alone

6 notes · View notes

electricboogaloosstuff · 7 months

Text

I really made a boy play Dangan ronpa and then immediatly dumped him, huh.

#I don't think I'm a good person #danganronpa

0 notes

inkskinned · 1 year

Text

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

32K notes · View notes

sergle · 7 days

Text

WEEOO WEEOO UPCOMING SKIRT!!! I have a new skirt design cooking with @mayakern and two slightly different color options test-printed for it!!

If you can't tell the difference, the one on the left has a slightly darker, slightly more emerald green bg, and the one on the right has a slightly lighter, slightly more warm green bg! I'm very inch rested which version ppl like more, not just visually, but what colors would be nicer as a skirt that you can match outfits with!

and also here's the concept sketch for the skirt. ok thank you pls vote!

#also I hope you guys like the cherry tomatoes bc I really really like this design #I hope that even if your personal favorite color doesn't win then you still enjoy the skirt bc I truly just think it bangs #sergle skirts #sergle art #I'm mixed on it personally and I don't have enough friends awake to get a good sample size LMAO #I think the emeraldy one is pretty but that might just be because I think blue toned greens go with my current hair color...

1K notes · View notes

royalarchivist · 3 months

Text

Mine: Refer to me however you want!

Mike: Yeah, for me too. I think I use all pronouns too.

[They high-five and fist-bump each other]

Mine:

[via @barbmine]

#Mine #Barbmine #Mikethelink #Mike #I LOVE THEMMMMMMMMMMM THEY'RE SO FUNNY #Mine funniest person alive fr #also YOOOO LETS GO??????#I didn't know Mike was ok with any pronouns #and Mine too??? that's awesome!#Also for those who don't know: Mine is Mike's wife!#They're both bi #They're so cool I wanna have a silly sweet partnership like this someday *clenches fist and stares off into the sunset*#As per usual: not a native Portuguese speaker so can't translate the full thing #please feel free to hop in with translations and/or corrections!#Though I'm pretty confident about these. Wouldn't post it if I wasn't #I'll be real idk how to translate viado LMAO #It's like. Not what google translate will tell you it means #idk imo I think ''homo'' sounds right but ONCE AGAIN: I'm not a Portuguese speaker #Poor Mine I laughed when she first posted this image ages ago and I replied to her saying it gave me a good laugh and she was like #''WAIT I PROMISE IT DOESN'T MEAN WHAT GOOGLE TRANSLATE SAYS IT MEANS''#it's all good Mine I'm bi too I am not phased lmao #I don't personally use that word but I do not care when other queer folks use it

1K notes · View notes

uncanny-tranny · 6 months

Text

Whenever people who are entrenched in diet culture talk about how terrible chemicals are, I just want to whip out this:

#diet culture #diet culture tw #described images #image description in alt #'it's got CHEMICALS in it' and so do you! and me too! IT'S ALL CHEMICALS ALL THE WAY DOWN #instead of running from this world we must learn to embrace it #i'm not particularly angry at people who say this because it makes me think that they're incredibly invested in diet culture...#...i just don't want the whole 'food = bad' or 'bodies = bad' to go unchallenged...#...part of the reason why diet culture seems just as prevalent now (if not moreso) is partially because it isn't really...#...challenged or questioned without provocation. it's just assumed to be correct because it makes you 'feel in control'#when chemicals are bad you can control what chemicals you consume. it's individualistic and places the blame onto you for 'being good'#it places responsibility onto the person in such a way that it becomes impossible to fulfill #it isn't that i'm upset that people want to treat their bodies in a way they think is responsible...#...moreso that the *way* they go about it ensures that they're stuck in a cycle of self-blame and even self-hatred #because the METHOD is ineffective. not the desire to treat your body well #also the state of ohio looks stupid and i do Not respect it #it looks like a ball that is simultaneously deflated and over-inflated #also their state flag looks silly to me #it looks like the person who was making it fell asleep making it #i'm just clowning on ohio at this point. have never been to ohio but. are you guys okay

984 notes · View notes

poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 months

Text

Cultivator and Lawyer, Elle Woods (& Her spiritual dog Bruiser)!

Part 2 (soon)

#better drawn mdzs #mdzs #legally blonde #elle woods #In honour of Elle woods being canon to the PD-MDZS universe I *had* to make a legally blonde crossover #Elle Woods is a mythic figure. To me. Don't think about the lore of how she would exist in a Wuxia setting. This is for goofs.#Part 2 tomorrow ! Though its mostly silly doodles of the MDZS crew.#Lawyers and MDZS crossover *so* well. Legally blonde is a bit too specific of a story though. More on that in the next post.#Legally Blonde in general is a movie that means a lot to me (esp the musical). Your mileage may vary but I think it has a lot to say!#The feeling of being chronically underestimated and boxed into a role based on other people's perception of you really got to me!#(and the fact that the person who introduced me to MDZS turned out to...not be a good friend.#But I found a huge passion for something because of it! Yippee! I'm having more fun without you bringing me down!)#Drawing brusier made me realize I need to draw more dogs before dogust ends....

861 notes · View notes

mattodore · 3 months

Text

playing with dionte's hair bc i'm procrastinating

#river dipping #dionte duval #lykos #ts4 #i do really love how dionte and nicholas kinda have a b4b (bald for bald) thing going on.... but that first hair........#he looks so good... the urge to keep it is gonna make me develop a twitch under my eye...#i love the shadows the locs add btw like i personally loveee when hair creators add shading #like the DRAMAAA it adds!!!#also don't look too closely at him here bc i actually haven't updated him yet hence no proper edit of him (tho i probably won't change much #i'm really just supposed to be cleaning out the hundreds!! of duplicate households in my library dkhjnkfgh i just. get so distracted #i also have to fix mattodore's households bc i think i accidentally deleted the updated version of them at 20...#like there are multiple other saves?? but they're all with matthias's old chin??? like literally WHERE did the updated version go #so i need to clean out my library from the top down and fix their sims #i really messed my sleep schedule up the day before yesterday when i was working on those edits of delphi btw #but i did enjoy rewatching secretary and watching charade while staying up all night to do them <3 #also listened to the first two chapters of freedom is a constant struggle! editing may take me forever but i do do other things as i do it #...........talking a lot in these tags bc i'm seriously procrastinating jdkhnf i do NOT ! want to clean through my library it's a mess #OH. ALSO GOOD MORNING I FORGOT TO SAY THAT ‼️#seeing this again two days later and seeing the amount of notes....... y'all weren't meant to reblog this kjhdkfjhndkjgnh #now i'm like damn... is there any reason to make his intro edit like i did for ria and delphi 😭😭😭😭😭

332 notes · View notes

fictionadventurer · 1 month

Text

Maybe the problem with Christian fiction is that it's non-denominational. People are just "Christian", with no effort put into showing what practicing that religion looks like for them specifically. No indication that there are other Christians who could have different beliefs. No wrestling with differing ideas and the struggle of how one should live out their Christian faith. And that makes it unrealistic and unrelatable.

#me reading any christian historical fiction set in england: why are none of these gentry anglican??#they ARE all anglican and if they are not it is extremely plot and character relevant you can't just have them using evangelical buzzwords #but i'm also thinking of this because i started another charlotte yonge book #that is by far my favorite of the things of hers that i've read #because it has characters who have different upbringings and religious opinions #instead of just 'here's a bunch of high church anglicans judging people who don't live up to their victorian standard'#you have the very high church anglican rector whose wife is worldly but still a very good person #the girl raised in a very strict protestant family who is more scrupulous than the anglicans but is still recognized as a good person #you have people who are trying to work out the nuances of different issues #and that makes it so much more realistic and so much easier to integrate into the story #(the politics though are hilarious)#(most of the classics that survive are the ones that were 'ahead of their time' in politics)#(so it's equally fascinating and refreshing and a bit infuriating to see one that is very very of its time with regards to women's rights)#('why did this woman get up at the meeting and explain her very good ideas for rebuilding after the fire? she should have had a man do it')#(meanwhile i'm just screaming 'why on earth SHOULDN'T she???')#(it's almost enough to make a feminist of me)

372 notes · View notes

front-facing-pokemon · 10 months

Text

#spinda #AAAHHHH YES!!! our belovèd spinda. from their café!!! probably one of my favorite minor characters from pmd sky #whom i don't even think was in the original explorers games. i think spinda's café was exclusive to sky. if i'm remembering correct #ly. or maybe that was shaymin village. i know shaymin village was for sure but maybe it was just that and not both of them. either way #have a delicious drink and allow the flower of conversation to bloom! i could quote spinda all day. he had “hopes and dreams” before toby #ever did. THAT'S ALSO like i had no idea what spinda's pronouns were. i kept trying to figure it out because i talked about him quite a lot‚#but no one in game ever talked about him. to mention his pronouns? turns out. there's ONE line of dialogue where the post office fucker in #shaymin village mentions him and calls him a he. i think that's the only time spinda is referred to in the third person with a pronoun #i believe it's when they're talking about like. how you can send gifts or whatever and pick up the characters' responses at spinda's café #which is still a really fucking good feature. of any video game. SEE WHAT I MEAN spinda and their café is just an incredibly good Thing #it's to the point where my home wifi network is named “Spinda's Café Wi-Fi” because i love it so much. so if you're ever runnin around #and you see a wifi network by that name… it might be me! you never know! or… it could be the real deal. the real spinda's café is somewhere #nearby…! ugh. i wish. i would go there immediately #not even to mention all the other shit about this pokémon that's really good. like that they never walk in straight lines or whatever #their little dance. it's just. huUGHKLJKAHJVDHJHDAJSVGD i love spinda. a nice pick-me-up after the underwhelmingness that was grumpig #shake it this way… shake it that way… and stir it all around… and it's done!

723 notes · View notes

egophiliac · 1 year

Text

taps head can't get a badly-compressed shadow if you take the shadow out of the gifs

anyway, I did another little guy to go along with Najma and Che'nya! I...actually made him last year as a livestream project, so some of you might remember him (and that I eventually ragequit because it was 5 AM and the meshes were not cooperating). and, uh, then I forgot to actually go back and finish him, until Tamashina-Mina reminded me! ...sorry Cheka!

#art #twisted wonderland #gif warning #gifs that leona slouches away from really fast warning #i have once again spent a really long time on things without thinking about what i'm actually going to do with them #pre-planning? never heard of her #i just like making 'em okay #don't ask me to actually USE the things i make #what do i look like? a productive person with good impulse control? pshaw

2K notes · View notes

antiyourwokehomophobia2 · 7 months

Text

Recently I've been regretting being out. I wish I could take it back. I used to freely talk about my gf and my sexuality, but now I keep it to myself and pray that the people I've told will forget I'm gay. I've never experienced this. I've never been at a point in my life where I've felt comfortable telling someone I'm gay and then wishing I never had. It's usually a one and done deal.

There's this guy at work. I like him. We get along very well. I used to look forward to working with him because I thought he was a lovely man. Suddenly he drops the f slur, and I'm extremely taken aback. Days prior to him dropping the slur, he makes a subtly homophobic comment. I've told him I'm gay. I've told him I have a gf. Now I sorely regret it.

This past Saturday, I'm working with someone I don't usually work with. We get on the topic of people saying slurs. I bring up the fact that this guy says the f slur. The person I'm talking to tries to defend him. He says "I feel like guys don't mean that in a homophobic way. It's more like an insult rather than a slur". I try to argue with him but he doesn't let up. I once again feel very disheartened.

Right now, I'm sitting in my car after a personal training session with a trainer that I get along well with. I've told him I'm gay. Today he tells me he thinks being gay is a choice. He tells me it's the tap water turning people gay. Yea, I know that sounds hilarious, and yes, I did laugh, but he was being serious. Maybe if the incidents I described above weren't so close to this one, I'd feel less strongly about it. Maybe not.

I get on the internet and see people saying that males can be lesbians and females can be gay men. I see women claiming to be lesbians who earnestly say they like dick and that they like fucking men ("cis" men). I see people saying that gay dudes and lesbians fuck and they're both still gay. It seems like nobody realizes that this is extremely homophobic, disrespectful, and nonsensical.

There's no escape. I've been telling people I'm gay since I was thirteen. But maybe I knew better at twelve.

#This is a pessimistic rant #But I'm not a pessimist #I do think there's good in the world #And I'm ultimately a positive person #But lemme have this moment to rant #Don't take it to heart

350 notes · View notes

elspeth-catton · 4 months

Text

i'm so so sorry to the people that didn't get to see saltburn in theaters because imo it was truly the best way to watch it

feeding off of the energy of all the other people in a packed theater, it feels SO much more voyeuristic with strangers sitting right next to you in a dark room with all your senses heightened, the soft gasps, the shocked laughs, people mumbling "what the fuck" to their movie partner next to them under their breath, i cannot describe the high i got off of seeing it in theaters

the genuine goosebumps i had from the soundtrack in surround sound, from rosamund's gut-wrenching scream, it is just not the same at home

i feel like if you didn't see it in theaters, it's not fair to give it a terrible review because it is really a completely different experience

#saltburn #saltburn 2023 #genuinely i don't think you can get the same thing out of it just from streaming it #and i don't know if i would be as madly and completely obsessed if i didn't see it in person #it is the greatest movie theater experience i've ever had #tomorrow is the official for real last day in theaters and i'm going to miss it so much #there's so many bad takes i'm seeing in the main tag that i think would be fixed if you saw it in theaters idk #but also i really don't want to debate with people how good i think it is if you disagree with me you can just block me it's fine

266 notes · View notes

canisalbus · 5 months

Note

hi i ride motorcycle year round and wanted to chime in. for vasco's small around-town trips he'd probably be fine with his ears free, but for longer trips at higher speeds or when its cold out he'd want them protected. probably by tucking them under his chin into the collar of a jacket and then putting a scarf or bandana on. also goggles would be helpful if a full helmet wasn't wanted. since they're in europe and around italy specifically he could have a nice ducati (fast rockety sport bikes) or a cafe racer (much more like a motorized bicycle but they can still have a lot of power) a cafe racer would offer a lot of seat space for machete to be thoroughly uncomfortable in lol

i love your ocs they're great thanks for all the cool art :)

.

#oh that's really good practical advice actually! I've never riden a motorcycle so I wouldn't even know where to begin #the ears tucked under the jacket collar is a smart way to go about it #having hard time choosing a bike for him there's too many options #it looks like lots of ducatis have a very sleek and sporty vibe to them #loving the bright colors and the shapely design #cafe racers on the other hand come across as iconic looking to me and could potentially have a sort of vintage aura which I personally like #and the flat topline (I'm sorry I don't possess the right vocabulary for these things) that some of them have is visually pleasing #they'd be a nightmare to draw though since the frame is a lot less covered and there's a ton of complex mechanical detail in the midsection #bike viscera if you will #I don't know but it's fun to think about #thank you for chiming in! this was genuinely helpful #answered #anonymous #modern au

253 notes · View notes

the-music-maniac · 1 year

Text

I'm amused at how confused some people are at the idea of Puss being shipped with Death when Shrek is a series of movies that had a DONKEY canonically get together with a freaking DRAGON

1K notes · View notes

royalarchivist · 2 months

Text

I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think this style of prose is more appropriate for a personal account rather than an update account. I have no idea who's being talked about half the time. 🥲

[ Tumblr meme via @mikaikaika ]

#QSMP #Philza #Edited #Phil #Let me know if this needs an additional tag #I don't think this necessitates a discourse or neg tag or whatever because I'm being silly but I'm happy to add one if folks need it #I won't post this one on Twitter I don't think because I genuinely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings #but. I feel very strongly about this. It's not helpful #I say this as a fan and as a professional writer (who also worked in the Marketing and Communications field for far too long)#The prose is nice! It's very whimsical and they're having fun! But I don't think it's appropriate for an updates account #I recently turned off notifications for QsmpEN and I'm considering muting them because half the updates just aren't helpful to me #I want to be able to speed read through the update thread I don't want to spend an additional 30 seconds trying to decipher who's who #I don't like posting complaints so I tried to make it a funny complaint #because I do think feedback is good! And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way #but at the same time: these update writers ARE volunteers #(As a side note -- I personally think anyone running a large social media account should be paid)#(I did that for a few years and it was hell. I can't imagine doing that and NOT getting paid for it)#But anyways #They're all volunteers so I don't actually wanna go all pitchforks and torches on them (which I wouldn't do anyways even if they WERE paid)#I'm just venting my frustrations in what is (hopefully) a funny way #but you're welcome to disagree! That's ok too #Portfolio

383 notes · View notes