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drchucktingle · 4 months

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my masks

hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.

im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great.

lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is.

unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.

the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.

ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield

anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum

when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned.

later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.

HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.

anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’.

when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.

one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’

so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?

my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)

from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept.

the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.

eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.

lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.

this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.

the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.

a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual.

fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist

#actually autistic #chuck tingle #tingleverse #buckaroo lifestyle

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rafeysdoll · 5 days

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https://www.tumblr.com/rafeysdoll/748215216138059776/bsf-rafe-convincing-reader-that-its-normal-to

i’m literally FERAL

could you please do one where rafe somehow convinces reader and he FINALLY gets to be inside of her🫶🫶🫶

definitely rushed in the end so i’m sorry :( kinda struggled with this but i really hope you like it anyway.

"rafey," you mewl, tugging at his polo as he laid on the couch, writing emails and conducting business. "im.. needy, want help." you whisper, biting your lip as you tilt your head to the side. "what was that?" he taunts, shit eating grin displayed on his face as he dismisses his phone, tossing it aside as he gets up anyway.

you eagerly head back into his room, quickly jumping to his bed as you wait for him to lay, ready to hump him as if he was your very own toy to get rid of all your overwhelming desires.

but yet he remains the same, standing still with his tongue nudging at the side of his cheek as he sighs rather dramatically, hand now over his hip. "you know, baby.. i.. uh," he pauses, tactifully letting silence fill the room for you to worry, wanting you get yourself worked up.

"i just dont know how to say it," he continues, turning around so he can only give you a show of the back of him. “what is it?” you question, voice bordering a whimper. “did i do something wrong?”

rafe smiles menacingly, taking a deep breath. it was time for the last stone to be set.

“here, come stand next to me alright?” he requests, turning back around to offer his hand. you quickly listen, right besides him in seconds as he caresses your hand in his own. “baby, i don’t know if i can do this.” he states, brows meeting together in a tight line, leaning in slightly as if he was offended.

you take a shaky breath and gulp, a strong queasy feeling in your stomach. “w-why?” you reply, bottom lip put out. “you.. you don’t like it?” you frown.

“no, no i do. that’s the problem, im a man.. and, well uh.. it’s hard, you know baby? got all these feelings and i can’t even act on them. i mean, it can’t be fair.” he confesses, pretty blue eyes staring at your own.

“oh,” you realize, looking down at your connected hands. “well.. well that can change, can’t it? we can just.. you know.” you whisper, heat and desperation tingling through your body. you didn’t want any of this to end, you were willing to do anything before he had to be ripped away from your hands. “oh.. oh i dunno baby, that’s a big step.” rafe pretends to deny, his cock already twitching and throbbing. he was so close to what he had been working towards for so so long.

“no, no really rafe. i.. i mean now we can both.. enjoy it.” you carry on, nodding. “please? don’t wanna go to anyone else,” you plead, small tears collecting in your lower lash line. “you.. you sure?” he smiles, his own heart thumping profusely in his chest. “i’m sure, ray.”

the rest was a fast blur, your best friend’s thick length bullying himself inside you, crying at every single ministration he gave you, hoping this could never end.

it was the first night rafe finally got through to your tiny hole, writing and squirming under his touch as he mumbled sweet nothings besides your ear — telling you he had been waiting for so long.. that the wait was worth it to finally do this. it was perfect in both of your minds.. rafe finally getting his best friend on his cock and you simply thinking you were only making both you and him happy.

you were always rafe’s girl, even before you ever realized it.

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ihavemyfits · 1 year

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a boy w somewhat artsy eyeliner was our cashier at a shop today and im sorry to say that i havent changed at all since i was a kid. i am not immune to guyliner

#like i havent felt like 'omg... what a cutie hiii' abt a guy for a While but he was cute.#in other news i think i have a lil crush on a Nother coworker. -_- but it will go away i hope.#tbh i think actually a few of my coworkers r cute... 3.5 guys and 2 girls now #more guys i know :/ but there are simply so few adult women there. all the girls r highschoolers and even then theyre scarce...#male dominated workplace fr.#20 guys and 12 girls :| TWELVE. WHOLE GIRLS. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE FUN EVER WHEN I DONT LIKE TALKING TO GUYS OR BEING AROUND THEM OR #BEING FRIENDLY TO THEM OR HAVING FUN W THEM OR ANYTHING I ONLY LIKE GIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRLLLLLSSSSSS #if it was mostly girls i swear to god id be a different person and tbh that probably part of the problem of why im so dead/indifferent to t #he world so often when im at work. i can only start relaxing the rare moments when its just girls #i do not think i am gay currently or if i am which i have to admit is still a distinct possibility i am still in the deep and wretched #throes of a lifetime of comphet brainwashing so when i say i only like girls i mean like. technically and theoretically and hypothetically #and in the exact right circumstances and w caveats i like guys but..#my friends my whole life have been 95% girls. i just prefer spending time around girls in literally any form or way...#guys are just like the fun and interesting hypotheticals i play/experiment w in my mind and then use what ive learnt w them to transfer #onto what to me is the Real Deal what Really matters which is girls. like boys to me are just a testing ground so that i dont accidentally #explode a girl i really like w my mind in a pointless way. kinda thing

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diordeer · 3 months

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౨ৎ LINGER

“but you always really knew, i just want to be with you. and I'm in so deep, you know i'm such a fool for you” - the cranberries (smau)

contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader, p.s. can we please pretend the beaches look similar i tried SO hard, also why does this lowkey have me shipping the yn and charlie update accounts

description: ahh i love the cranberries! they were my childhood album… my first ever cd was no need to argue!

requested by: anonymous 🫢

Liked by dior.n.goodjohn, iamcharliebushnell and others

yn.ln but im in so deep! u know im such a fool for you!!

View all comments.

user1 how yn gotta be feeling after soft launching (?) a relationship but giving us NO physical descriptions of him 🤠

↳ dior.n.goodjohn HIM?! Guys this is me in the photo

↳ yn.ln can confirm shes my lawfully wedded wife

user2 WHO IS THIS OMG

user3 U GOT ME WRAPPED AROUND UR FINGERR!!!

↳ yn.ln do u have to let it linger?!

user4 gal looks magestic

user5 the height difference i deserve

↳ user2 REAL

user6 I LOVE YOU YN

↳ yn.ln love u more 😘😘

aryansimhadri 👀

↳ yn.ln dont make any sudden movements

user7 shes so cute in the first pic!!

user8 whoevers dating her better be the most chivalrous, respectable, handsome, funny, loyal, kind, gentle guy in the world

↳ yn.ln id say he ticks the boxes 🤷‍♀️

↳ dior.n.goodjohn so do i 😖

user9 idk who this man is but the adams apples got me in a chokehold

yn.updates GUYS I THINK IK WHO IT IS

↳ user10 OMF WHAT?!

↳ yn.updates CHECK MY ACCOUNT!!!!

Liked by charliebushnell.updates, yn.fans and others

yn.updates ROOKIE MISTAKE

View all comments.

user1 as MUCH as i want to believe this they could’ve just been at the beach at the same time

↳ yn.updates potentially… BUT he was in her likes!

↳ yn.fans and their chemistryyyy!!

↳ yn.updates they r SO cute together

user2 guys hes so 😍

↳ user3 LIKE YNS LUCKY MANN

↳ user4 yns lucky?! LOOK AT HER!!

user5 idk who i want to be in this relationshop

user6 yn.updates carrying us on their back

↳ yn.updates 😘😘

charliebushnell.updates do u mind if i repost this on my account?

↳ yn.updates omg no! Repost all u want!

user7 if they actually are together they would be THE IT couple

↳ user5 oh yes

user8 PLSPLSPLSPLSPLS

user9 if this isnt true i think ill have a little bath with my toaster

Liked by yn.ln, aryansimhadri and others

iamcharliebushnell you got me wrapped around your finger!!

View all comments.

user1 EVERYBODY STAY CALM

user2 oh this is SO yn

yn.ln do u have to let it lingerrrrr

↳ yn.updates OMG I WAS RIGHT AHHH

↳ charliebushnell.updates mastermind!!

walker.scobell why did i not know about this 😧

↳ iamcharliebushnell im just so sneaky 🤷‍♀️

↳ leahsavajeffries EVERYONE knew about this, walker

↳ yn.ln you are not sneaky

user5 the first pic… give me the strength

user3 i love the cranberries

dior.n.goodjohn the other womannn 😣

↳ yn.ln im sorry my love 😔

user4 charlie in the second pic 😘😘😍😍

↳ yn.ln omg ikr 🤭

user5 wait so is this like confirmed now… bc i feel like they never actually confirmed

↳ user6 ma’am…

↳ user7 YN IN THE COMMENTS LMAO, ITS DEFO CONFIRMED

user8 yn.updates carried us

↳ yn.updates i cant believe this 🤭

taglist: @highfidelities @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303

#charlie bushnell x reader #luke castellan x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #smau #social media au #aesthetic #charlie bushnell #in the know #x reader #instagram #black!reader

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cactuscoolerr · 10 months

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OKAY BUT LIKE LOSER ISAGI, NAGI, BACHIRA AND POPULAR READER SNEAKING AROUND TO FUCK CAUSE THEY DONT WANNA RUIN THEIR REP?!?!

im sorry i got a lil excited

⋆｡˚. in secret - itoshi rin, bachira meguru, isagi yoichi, nagi seishiro

• (nsfw)

• notes: my brain is buzzing i totally luv this concept a normal amount !! ɷ◡ɷ | also i’m adding rin cuz he’s my fav and i don’t wanna leave him out ╥﹏╥

. ˚ ｡⋆ itoshi rin

you had been avoiding rin’s subtle glances as he sat a few tables away from you. your friends had invited you to come to the library with them to study for finals, but you found it hard to focus once you saw rin and his friend group.

“you see that guy over there..?” one of your friends nudged your arms and not so subtly pointed at bachira meguru, one of rins friends. you nodded after stealing a glance at the boy with bangs before looking back down at your book. “he’s in my french class and he was talking about some imaginary friend he had. he’s such a freak”

some of your friends laughed upon hearing, the others telling them to shut up, having been deep into their study session.

you hadn’t met bachira, never having met any of rin’s friends, but he seemed like a nice guy. you didn’t have any issues with him ever since you found yourself interested in rin.

“heard that the white haired one is a gamer,” another one of your friends scoffed. “are they all nerds?”

“maybe they all became friends because no one else wanted to” your closest friend in the group snorted, causing the rest of the group to laugh. you could almost roll your eyes at how obnoxious they sounded but ignored them instead. that was until they had started mentioning rin.

you missed the way they all began looking at him, making it obvious. “i wonder how he’s not popular. with a brother like sae, you’d think he wouldn’t be such a loser”

at the mention of sae, your ears perked up and you looked towards rin like the rest of your friends. “he’s such a creep. he never talks and he just sucks around like some kind of weirdo”

“i even heard that he-” your friend stopped talking when you abruptly stood up with a book in your hand, not wanting to listen any longer. they all gave you questioning looks, making you clear your throat awkwardly. “uh.. i grabbed the wrong book”

it was quiet for a few seconds before one of your friends laughed. “and you just realized now?” she asked and you laughed softly. “yeah.. kind of embarrassing but i’m gonna go get the other one”

without having to hear what any of the others had to say, you quickly walking towards the rows of book shelves to look through random books and occupy yourself for a bit. or at least until they stopped talking badly about rin and his friend group.

“finally have enough of their shit talking?” you heard rin’s voice scoff from behind you. his tone sent a shiver down your spine but you turned around anyway. “did you hear..?”

rin nodded and you sighed, immediately going to apologize but he stopped you. “i don’t wanna hear you apologize because you didn’t say anything” he muttered and looked down at you with an intimidating gaze. “you can’t control what they say, right?”

you shook your head slowly but he still scoffed, likely wanting a different answer from you, though you didn’t know what. “decided i can’t come over tonight” rin looked away from you and slightly backed up.

“why not?” your eyebrows furrowed, slightly stepping forward to keep the close distance between you and your secret lover.

rin shrugged, “i don’t really like the idea of sneaking around with someone that has friends that talk bad about me” he muttered, looking back at you. “sounds weird, does it not?”

“no..” you said quietly, “it does sound weird. i’m sorry..”

your saddened gaze made rin’s heart race, finding the crease in your eyebrows and look of distress adorable. with a sigh, rin closed the distance and leaned down to kiss at your neck. a low moan fell passed your lips, making rin suck at your skin, lightly grazing his teeth to feel your squirm until he was satisfied.

with a lidded gaze, he looked down at you and admired the new mark on your neck. “maybe i will come over after all..” rin sighed and backed away again before leaving you to stand there alone.

it didn’t take very long for you to realize what rin did, frantically rubbing at the mark and wondering how you were gonna explain the hickey to your friends when you went back to the table.

. ˚ ｡⋆ bachira meguru

pushing you into the janitors closet, bachira was quick to push your shorts down while connecting his lips to your neck. your moans only fueled him to go faster as he pushed your panties to the side and shoved his fingers into your slick cunt. “feels like you’re all ready for my cock, hm?”

he grinned while pushing his pants and boxers down, making it quick like you two always had to. the both of you were used to it by now, quickies in the school building before going back to either of your dorms and fucking to your hearts content.

bachira understood good and well why you had to do it this way, and he didn’t mind it. it’s not like being an outcast was anything new to him, so he didn’t care as long as he could have your cunt sucking his cock in by the end of the day. if it was for you, he’d live the rest of his life unliked by everyone.

you whined sweetly into his mouth as he sunk in, groaning and making just as much noise as you were. the feeling of your cunt was unlike anything bachira had felt before. he could die like this.

“meguru..” you panted and grasped onto him tightly as your legs began to give out. “i got you..” bachira smiled softly and gripped your thighs, hoisting you up so you didn’t have to do anything but look pretty for him.

with the new position, bachira bounced you up and down on his cock with ease, slightly being able to thrust up into you, earning louder noises from you.

you held his face gently in your hands and desperately leaned down to kiss him, wanting to feel all of him and needing for him to feel all of the love you felt for him. you never wanted for your relationship to be like this, but you valued your school life too much. though, bachira was beginning to crack that as you began to think about what it would be like to happily walk through the school halls with bachira’s hand in your own, not caring about the judging glanced sent your way.

the thought of being able to be with bachira, free of judgment made you clench around his cock, making him break the kiss to whine into the crook of your neck.

“i’m so close..” he whimpered against your skin and you gently carded your fingers through his hair. “m-me too..” you said through a shaky exhale before suddenly cumming at the particularly hard slam of bachira’s hips against your ass.

the feeling of your cunt spasming around his cock was too much, making him moan and cum instantly inside of your tightening cunt and his hips unwillingly buck upwards.

the hard breathing from you and bachira filled the room as you felt sticky in his arms. but with the way bachira gently pressed his forehead against yours with a happy grin, you didn’t mind it very much as long as you got to be like this with him and him only.

. ˚ ｡⋆ isagi yoichi

isagi wasn’t entirely sure on why you invited him to your roommates party. the only person that he knew would be you and even then, you wouldn’t talk to him since you two weren’t necessarily friends.

it had been nearly an hour since isagi sat on a lone couch, gaining looks from people he didn’t know and people that likely didn’t know him. you had even walked by, just slightly glancing at him before running upstairs.

just when he was beginning to think coming was a bad idea, he got a text from you.

come upstairs. room at end of the hall he read to himself, already feeling his cock twitching in his pants. excitedly, he made his way up the stairs, searching for the room at the end of the hall that you told him to go to. the door was closed and he opened it to reveal you sitting on the bed, gently kicking your legs as you waited patiently for isagi to come find you.

upon seeing him, you immediately pounded on him, craving his taste from the make out session the two of you had in an empty classroom during classes just a few hours before.

“you’re drunk” isagi whispered against your lips, making you laugh softly. “had one drink to stop myself from riding you on that couch you were sitting on..” you gasped when isagi picked you up, his hands on your ass, and led you towards the bed.

immediately, isagi began trailing kisses down your neck, gently pulling down the straps of your dress before pulling it off of you and kissing down the rest of your body. “gonna make you feel so fucking good..” he breathed against your skin and leaned down, licking a stripe against your clothed cunt.

you shivered from the connection, and threw your head back with a quiet moan. isagi gently pulled your panties down and wasted no time in eating you out.

he was quick with his movements, bringing his fingers to sink into your cunt while he made out with your clit. it was sloppy and gross but you loved the way he made you feel. with the way he quickly fingered you and sucked your clit into his mouth, it wasn’t long until you could feel your oncoming orgasm.

“you like that?” isagi breathed out against your cunt, slightly pulling away to talk. “missed the way you tasted on my tongue..”

isagi felt you tighten around his fingers, groaning softly at the thought of you cumming on his face. “go on and cum for me, sweetie” he whispered and lapped quickly at your cunt, still fingering you until he felt you squirt against his face.

gladly opening his mouth, isagi drank your fluids, moaning at the taste while rutting against the bed like some kind of dog. it was enough to bring himself to his own release, leaving the both of you sweaty and moaning for more.

. ˚ ｡⋆ nagi seishiro

nagi was never fond of the idea of hiding how much he liked you. you said he has to pretend that he has no interest in you? that seemed like even more of a hassle to nagi than being totally infatuated with you, because he was.

having to make excuses to leave class after you did was a hassle, especially with the wondering gazes on him as he left.

but it was all worth it when he cornered you in an empty bathroom, towering over you with a dark gaze in his eyes. “don’t really like having to chase after you, pretty” he muttered, bringing his hand up to twirl your hair around his finger. with a sigh, he let his arm drop and looked at you for what you had to say.

“try not to think of it as chasing after me,” you smiled flirtatiously. “you don’t have to come if you don’t want to, nagi..”

he shivered at the tone of your voice, slightly glaring down at you with that usual pouty expression whenever you called him that. “i said you could call me by my first name, didn’t i?” he frowned, making you laugh softly. “you did, sei. i just love teasing you. you know that”

with another heavy sigh, nagi leaned down to kiss you like he’s been wanting to since you left his dorm this morning. he had been craving how your lips felt against his, your tongue gliding against his, and even more how your sweet cunt felt wrapped nicely around his cock.

he almost whimpered at the first touch of your hand against his hardening length. he almost couldn’t resist pushing you down to your knees and having you suck him off, looking up at him with that delicious gaze you always sent him.

“why do we have to do this here” nagi sighed while pulling back. “it’s such a hassle having to wait all day for you. it’s not fair..”

you leaned back against the wall, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “you know why,” a frustrated groan fell passed your lips, not liking the idea of explaining to nagi for the millionth time. “i like you, sei, but i also like my reputation, my friends. if they knew i was messing around with you, i don’t even know what they’d say”

“i don’t think you having mikage reo as a friend would help me out very much. you know what people think about you, right?”

despite hearing it all the time, hearing that most people didn’t like him from you made him wish that his social status was different. he never cared about it very much but if it meant that he couldn’t publicly be with you, nagi wanted for there to be a change.

“this sucks.” he muttered and leaned down to rest his head against your shoulder. “jus’ wanna be with you, pretty”

“i know,” you said softly and ran your fingers through his hair. “but hey..” nagi looked up at you and you laughed at the pout he had on his face. “you’re friends with that itoshi sae’s brother, right?”

you watched as nagi nodded before shrugging. “kinda.. we’re on the same team”

with a low hum, you nodded and gently caressed his face. “the itoshi’s aren’t necessarily outcasts here, ya know.. if you’re friends with rin, then it’s not too big of a stretch to say that you could build your relations with people”

you swiped nagi’s bangs from off of his forehead as he stared at the wall behind you. he hadn’t really been listening to what you were saying, spacing off from the feeling of your warm hand against his skin. “sei..?” you pushed his face gently so his gaze was on you again, finally snapping nagi out of his trance.

“let’s talk about this later,” he sighed, looking down at you with that darkened gaze again before flipping up your skirt and sliding his hand into the front of your panties. a soft gasp sounded from you as nagi sunk his fingers into your slick, using it to ease his fingers into your cunt without any problems. “just wanna feel you for now, pretty”

#bllk #blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk headcanons #bllk smut #blue lock smut #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin smut #isagi yoichi smut #bachira meguru smut #nagi seishiro smut #isagi yoichi x reader #bachira meguru x reader #nagi seishiro x reader

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binniebakery · 3 months

Text

lights off

College AU Bestfriend!Beomgyu x Gn!Reader .. not exactly fluff! kinda suggestive? ♡ Warnings: thunder? rain? ig being in the dark? my first time writing kissing .. my first time actually writing ANYTHING so it might be bad im so sorry guys ♡ A/N: this is my first little fic (if you could call it that)! i literally hate it but i think i got the point across LOLL regardless i hope someone will enjoy please lmk what you think <3 lowercase intended + not proofread ~

7:32 pm. sighing softly, you placed your phone that was softly playing your favorite tunes back down on the small table over your lap. you tapped your pencil on the table in frustration as you once again for the fifth time readjusted your legs on the bed of your best friend's bedroom. time was going by excruciatingly slow and it didnt help that this math problem was taking you a million years to solve. the sun had already set outside and heading back to your dorm seemed less favorable by the minute. hearing a soft shuffle from the other side of the room you looked up at your best friend. rain began to patter outside. looks like you'll be staying for longer than you intended. beomgyu, who had his deep-colored headphones on was moving his head to the music as he wrote down notes from his study guide. his hair softly wrapped around his features most attractively. you began to mentally trace the lines of his nose, his eyes… his lips.. the dim lighting of the room adding more charm to his aura. "y/n..? are you okay? i could feel you burning holes into my head." beomgyu said as he shook off his headphones to fully put his attention was on you. snapped out of your daze, you mentally kicked yourself as you felt embarrassment creep onto your cheeks. how long had you been staring at him for..? "sorry gyu. if i was staring i didnt mean to" you softly laughed, trying to seem nonchalant and cool about the situation. beomgyu, seeing your embarrassment, chuckled at your reaction. "youre okay, i know you look at me because im cute" he grinned and you rolled your eyes. "oh shut up! you know i was daydreaming. i cant focus on this assignment anyways, its too hard. i think im gonna just finish it tomorrow." you smiled as you threw a pillow at him. he was always cheeky when he had the opportunity. anything to see you react. "daydreaming? so you do think im cute?" he grinned wider after recovering from your pillow attack. you huffed and placed the table that was on your lap onto the ground. "you know youre so-.. ugh and what if i do think you're cute?! what would you even do about it, huh?" you retaliated as you sat on the edge of his bed, now fully facing him. you faked a pout as you were feeling a bit bolder than usual today. your homework giving you enough pent-up rage to have the energy to give in to his bickering.

"okay well i dont know how much truth there is to that but if you really meant that id probably kiss you." your eyes widened at his response. you see beomgyu's face turn into an unreadable expression. he hadnt realized you were only half joking and fully meant the compliment, but it was too late and by the time he caught wind that you were actually flustered he felt his stomach flip. even he was shocked by his own words. he slipped. had he said too much? after a few seconds of silence that felt like minutes. the rain outside seemed to get louder. his eyes finally met yours and you looked away. you felt your heart pounding at the thought of you saying too much. both of you overthinking the situation and awkwardness that you both never have had before taking place. you and beomgyu have never had an awkward moment like this. normally you both laugh things off but this time felt different. "you trust me right?" his voice sounded sincere. this tone was rare for you to hear from him but you knew immediately he was being genuine with his question. "h- huh? yeah of course.. why?" you responded. "okay well.." you noticed beomgyu was now fiddling with his headphones, it seemed like he was turning all the gears in his head to get out what he wanted to say. "y/n.. theres a chance you may have not been telling the truth but if you were- look regardless if you meant it, i meant what i said." you could feel your stomach turning. he hardly flirted with you but when he did it always felt different from his usual teasing. you never said anything though, in fear of ruining your friendship. yet you always thought about what it would be like if he also returned the feelings you felt.

the room's atmosphere seemed to change. suddenly you were both hyper-aware of his neon led light being the only source of light aside from his computer. your playlist had stopped and the silence felt unbearable. in one swift move, he stood up, and turned off the led light on his wall.

the room was a lot darker now, his computer screen's light being the only way of telling you what he was going to do next. you watched as he plopped down next to you. he was so close that you could see the slight tinge of pink on his ears. your senses began to be filled with the light scent of his cologne. "i.. look- the only way i can say or do this is if the lights are off- im not trying to be weird its just you make me so nervous.. i cant look at you." he mumbled as he looked at your hands resting on your lap. it was so dark and both your hearts were racing. "gyu.. " was all you could muster with his hands now softly on yours.

"can i…" beomgyu began as he leaned in closer, only centimeters away from your face. his eyes staring intently into yours. he had this look of pure admiration, nervousness and love. it was all too surreal. realizing what he was asking, you silently nodded as you stared at his lips. he pressed his forehead on yours, the thick tension in the air causing your body to tingle in anticipation. as you felt his hair softly tickle your features from him leaning in, your lips connected. he kissed you oh so softly as he held your cheek gently. your hands, as if moving on their own, were softly placed on his arms. his lips softly moving along your own. he was patient. it felt as if he was waiting for you to respond, unsure if what he was doing was okay with you. you moved your head to the side slightly to deepen the kiss, causing him to sigh. it was all he needed to know you felt the same. his hands moved to your waist as you settled your fingers into his long hair. softly pushing him towards you to intensify the kiss. all that could be heard was the rain outside aside from the soft exchange of sighs and hands roaming. "ive liked you for so long.. you have no idea.." he began between kisses. it was all passionate, slow, and tender as if he was handling you like glass. his hands pulled your waist impossibly closer to his. he separated first, leaving you craving for more. "trust me, i liked you so much i was so scared you didnt feel the same way despite you teasing me the way you did." you chuckled as you pecked his cheek. "you drive me insane.." he softly spoke. "y/n, every time i tried to say something.. my brain just went to mush.. its so bad i swear. i could only be this confident with the lights off.." beomgyu laughed as his eyes began to trail your facial features. he was admiring every curve and feature, and at that point, both your faces were impossibly red. "gyu.. can you just.. kiss me again..?" your voice came out hardly a whisper. "i like you so much i feel like im going insane from the way you just confessed." he smiled fondly at your words and nodded, leaning in once again. as soon as your lips touched you could both practically feel the electricity pouring through your bodies. as if on cue, thunder struck the moment you connected again. your arms wrapped impossibly tight around him, slightly tugging and playing with his hair. his arms remained at your waist, slightly circling over the shirt you wore. you could feel the warmth of his fingers through the fabric.

his tongue slightly swiped along your lips for permission, and you parted your lips in response. having his tongue explore your mouth had your brain going numb. time felt like it had stopped, with just the rain as your only witness to the quiet whispers and confessions that only you two could hear. when you both finally were running out of breath, you separated with beomgyu looking into your eyes. you stared back, lips equally as glossy as his. "are you.. going back to your dorm yet?" thunder struck once again, as if responding to his question. you smiled. "its raining a little too hard dont you think?" beomgyu chuckled, realizing how silly his question was. "yeah. youre right, i think you should stay." you bit your lip as you pulled off each other, both of you immediately missing the warmth. beomgyu shook his head fixing his now fluffed hair thanks to you as he ran his fingers through. he then stood up to turn the led light he had turned off previously back on. "so.. how about we watch a movie?" he spoke as the light clicked. you could almost burst into laughter from the question given the events that just happened a minute prior. give it to choi beomgyu, your best friend, to turn a situation less awkward by simply being his charismatic self. the personality you fell for since day one of knowing him.

"sure gyu, but.." you trailed off, shy about what you were about to say next. honestly, could this get any more awkward? "yeah?" he turned to you and tilted his head in that attractive way he does. "leave the lights off." you looked at him with a shy smile. he flushed at your words. and for the last time again, lightning struck. "yeah.. lights off" he replied, led light clicking once again.

#tomorrow x together #txt x reader #beomgyu x reader #txt scenarios #txt imagines #beomgyu x y/n #BakeryTreat♡

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neosexuals · 3 months

Text

˙ 𖥦 ⪧ ◟together ˒ ˶ taehyun

> synopsis: you and taehyun have been in a business marriage for 4 years,you’ve never had anything between you two. Most of the time taehyun would go around fucking other rich women, everyone knows it’s just business. Exept you

A/n : I literally loved writing this like AHHHH I hope you guys like it <3

Tag list^^: @heiiolifeee @f4iryfever @iweirdthingsblog @yuriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii @cinnikoi

“Always been mine…”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“Honey im home” he sang out as he entered the home you had together. You were pissed to say the least, you let out a heavy sigh “don’t call me honey, taehyun you’ve gotten into another scandal” you huff again “how do you plan on covering this up”.

He stares at you, his gaze confused and amused at the same time. He ruffled his hair "why do you care?" He grunted as he sat down beside you on the couch "you know that means I'm the wife who let's their man whore of a husband fuck around right? Which leads to them thinking I'm cheating too..?" You argue scooting away from him, before getting up to go away "whatever it's not like you aren't, your just better at hiding it" his attitude scorching through you, grabbing your hand "now sit down I'll go get coffee and tell you everything"

He walks away , once again. You never said you need or want an explanation, but deep down you do.your heart burns as you stare at your phone, the article everywhere.

"Kang taehyun , cheater"

The silence becomes louder in your head, you try to surpress tears. No matter how hard you try he always replays in your mind, he hurt you. He doesn't even know after 3 years of your undivided attention towards him. He doesn't realise you love him. Before you know it your lost in your thoughts once again....

"y/n? Y/N?" He waved his hand infront of your lost figure, you jumped back when he smacked your head "y/n oh my god" his voice clearer now. You won't even acknowledge that he hit you, you don't care.

To be honest taehyun felt bad for you too, he loved you just as much, he wanted to hold you, to feel you to be close to you. But he knows he couldn't, he knows you dont like him, so he acts like he hates you, he hooks up with girls left and right 'knowing' you don't care.

The problem is, you do care.

"anyway, I met her at a club, I felt sexually pent up so, I decided to... You know" he explained himself he was rambling on and on after this before you stopped him "taehyun stop rambling I really don't care" you did.

"I'm gonna go to bed" you walked upstairs the stairs tiring you out before you plop onto your bed,you had a joint bedroom only a wall and a door dividing you twos room.

He regrets his decision every time he fucks around, he acts like it doesn't matter but when he walked into his room he feels an absence. You were that absence.

#######

"Kang y/n finally gets revenge"

"icon y/n"

Your name surrounded the web , you finally decided to fuck around after 3 years. It felt odd ofcourse but you didn't carw., You just wanted to get over taehyun. But you got caught, you thought he wouldn't care since he's always on the news.

You sat on the couch once again, it was a habit for you by now to wait for him at the couch. As soon as the door handle turned,so did your stomach why did you feel so bad all of a sudden.

"how was it?" He dropped his bag, not even making eye contact with you. "How was what?" You asked hesitant of his reply, you were slightly trembling "the sex" his tone grew more aggressive by the word. "I asked how was the sex y/n"

His tone had a hint of sadness to it, you didn't notice it though. His gaze hit you atlas the flames in his eyes grew."it wasn't great" you responded, you wanted to lie but you couldn't. It wasn't great it was sad, miserable actually.

"then why'd you do it" his voice odly calmer than before, he was less jelous. Yet you stayed quiet

You wanted to talk back, you couldn't however. He walked towards you, step by step making you tremble. His next move wasn't clear at all, he sat beside you grabbing your jaw "look at me darling, why'd you do it" you were now facing him, the tention grew between you.

"I..." You fucked up, how or why you don't know but it felt like you fucked up "you??" His leg shaking, you couldn't tell why tho.

"taehyun." You paused his eyes widen as you use his name anticipation coarsing through him.

"taehyun...I used to like you." You blurted it out, the gaze and pressure let it out of you. But you still liked him.

"like I know it's not meant to be that way, I know it's business and I know I'm just being delusional but-" your ramble cut off by his touch. He wraps his hand around your nape, pushing your face closer to his. Your lips almost meeting.

He stares at your lips, your eyes roaming the situation, trying to avoid contact. Your mind travels wanting to kiss him so bad, but you don't want to act suddenly. Waiting for him to make the move, was he playing with you?

"I like you too" he mumbles onto your lips before smashing them together. The kiss soft yet laced with desire. He was holding back for you, the kiss sent shivers down your spine. You stay frozen in place before he pulls away , "you didn't pull away?" He cuts your words off again with a kiss, this time you reciprocate the kiss sending shivers down your spine. Your arms wrapping around his neck pulling him closer, he smiles during the kiss as you do this.

Breaking off once more his smile widens he stands you up "wait." You pause the situation. His eyes widen once again. "Shit whatever" you dismiss your negative thoughts smashing your lips together once more, your hands still wrapped around his neck as his hands roam around your body landing on your waist.

Picking you up lightly. You wrap your legs around his torso as he indicated with a tap on your thighs, the kiss sloppy as he climbed up the stairs carrying you. He opens his door with force as his hands still roaming your body.

"you've always been mine baby" he mumbles onto your lips , dropping you on the bed as he climbs over you leaning for another kiss. This time hungrier more rough. You start to crave his attention, you needed him more than ever now.

"fuck babe" the nickname forming something in you. As the kiss continued, Taehyun's hands moved up to play with your hair, his tongue exploring deeper into your mouth. He could feel himself growing hard against your leg and he knew he wanted more than just a kiss from you.

Feeling the heat between them, Taehyun broke the kiss, panting softly. His eyes met yours, filled with lust and anticipation.his breath hot against your skin. “Taehyun….” You huff out. Wanting more out of him . With a smirk, Taehyun slowly removed his shirt, revealing his well-toned body. His hands slipped back down to your pants, tugging them gently over your hips and down your legs. You were even more beautiful than he had imagined. He kissed his way down your stomach, taking in the taste of your skin. His hands continued their exploration, tracing patterns on your thighs and teasingly brushing against your underwear.

Eager to work with you, he knew his girth couldn’t fit into your pussy. “Want you so bad…” his eyes practically eating you out. His hands find its way inside your soaked panties, his fingers running through your folds. Playing with your puffy clit he starts slowly inserts a digit into you, your folds tightly squeezing his fingers “so tight….” He whispers into your ear “are you sure you’ll take my cock like this?” He glides his free arm across your face, his eyes loving yet sarcastic pity covers his face.

His finger working on you painfully slow as he leaves marks on your neckline. His length gets painfully harder as he fingers you, starting to grind on your thigh. He slowly inserts another finger his breathing ragged as he continues to finger you slowly, his other hand moving up to massage your breast. your breath heavy trying to speak while he mercilessly fingers your cunt. Scissoring inside stretching you out.

You moan out his name softly. “You feel so good around my fingers, baby. My little whore” His words are heavy with lust as he presses a soft kiss to your jaw before returning his attention to your neck and shoulders, nipping and licking softly. He can feel your pussy tightening around his fingers adding a third one chasing your high.

Your moans seem to get louder as his actions get faster, your hips bucking grinding against his fingers. You let out his name before releasing over his fingers as he curled them inside, the orgasm shaking you. You try to catch your breath laying there a bead of sweat trickling down the side of your face.

He gives you time to breath tasting you on his fingers, licking them dry. His body gets more tense as it seems his boxers now have a wet spot from his pre cum, he couldn’t wait any longer kneeling onto the bed and pulling your legs onto his tights “sorry baby, you look so Pretty I can’t take it anymore” he leans in, now in a missionary position and kisses you, the kiss hungry deep and sultry. You could tell how desperate he was

“You ready?” He lines himself between your legs, lubricating his tip with the remaining orgasm you had let out. You nodded eager for his cock to fill you up. As he slowly enters you realise how big his member actually is.

Stretching you out deliciously he groans feeling your tight walls around him “such a slutty little pussy hm?” His breath getting heavily, he would’ve cum right then and there “can their cocks stretch you this well” the pleasure distracts you from his malicious words. He goes on whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he finally fills you up balls deep.

He gives you a pause to get used to his length “says the man-whore” you finally catch your breath replying to his former words. He fumes with anger and starts to move relentlessly.

“Man-whore?” He huffs fucking into you his girth so mouth wateringingly wrapped inside your soaping pussy. He whispers sweet nothings once again, nicknames spewing out of his mouth sweetly.

“y/n if you, fuck- if you keep squeezing me like that I’ll cum inside” he groans and curses under his breath. He was addictive to you, you felt painfully pleasant his, face admiring your features. His girth creating a small outline in your stomach, his cock twitching at the sight.

Your eyes close shut as you get closer and closer to your orgasm, evident by your pussy tightening around him. He takes this as a sign to press on the outline around your stomach , causing you to whimper, the stimulation making you sensitive.

“Baby I’m gonna” his words get cut off by his groan

“Just- do it Baby” you nod your head allowing him to release inside you as you chase your high along side him. He gets cockier and starts to play with your clit, your words driving him. His movements get faster, slowing down at lass to release alongside you.

His juices mixing with yours as he falls on-top of you he slowly pulls out. Shifting beside you, cuddling you to relax.

“Why did you fuck around if you like me?” You start to question his actions. Looking forward to his response

“Cause I thought you hated me , I tried to get over you…” he paused “and also,I don’t just like you y/n love you” his words shook you, a smile forming after you pause “I love you too” you finally respond.

You turn to see he had passed out already, you could only let out a chuckle before kissing his cheek and snuggling against his arm.

#txt smut #taehyun smut #kpop smut #txt imagines #kpop imagines #txt x reader #txt fanfic #taehyun x reader

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 26 days

Text

Love is Stored in the Cat: A Nepeta Leijon Character Study

I guess these are a series now! I also have a request for Feferi in my inbox that I'll get around to eventually.

SO! Dear, sweet Nepeta.

Nepeta is the troll that is most against the existence of the hemocaste.

I believe the Ultimate Self speech was originally going to be from her, not Davepetasprite^2.

She's bad at shipping.

These all make her extremely impurrtant!!!

So furst of all, I'm going to start with the same disclaimer as my Eridan essay (go read that first!!! It sets up a lot of ideas that I'm expanding on here), which is that the things Hussie says are going to be lowered in value, because he likes to play coy about plot stuff. I'm also not counting anything but the actual text as canon, and even with in that text, I'm counting everything after GAME OVER as soft canon - a suggestion of what would have been, often truncated for time, often a deliberate middle finger to the shitty fandom.

Okay, so with that squared away!

Nepeta Says Fuck The Hemocaste

I'm not going to bother doing a deep dive on Nepeta's characterization, because fur the most part, I think the fandom more or less gets her right - she wears her heart (h33h33) on her sl33ve, after all! She's a very sweet little catgirl who loves roleplay and shipping, who is also a vicious hunter of wild beasts and lives in a cave. She's very nice and friendly, but has a tough streak and a spine.

She also says fuck the hemocaste, why does that even exist:

CT: D --> Your fraternization with the base classes have 100sened your morals, can't you see this AC: :33 < no! i dont care, they are fun AC: :33 < and i dont know anything about classes or bases or blood color, it doesn't matter! AC: :33 < what does gr33n blood even mean! it doesnt mean anything to me and it shouldnt mean anything to anyone else!

This is a radical stance not outright shared by any of the other trolls. Aradia calls highbloods "hateful sn0bs" that she and Tavros shouldn't have "ever had anything t0 d0 with", the highbloods are, of course, all casteist to varying degrees, and even Karkat seems fairly accepting of the class divide, at one point taunting Vriska that her rejection from the blue team is "ANOTHER INFURIATING VICTORY FOR GUTTER BLOOD OVER ARISTOCRACY". Not to mention his long-held dream of becoming a threshecutioner.

Even Feferi, despite saying to Eridan that "W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!!", is actually perfectly comfortable with the caste system's existence, comparing having to stop using her royal typing quirk to "peasant-IFICATING" herself - and let's not forget that a Beforus under her rule had its caste system 100% intact.

This means that Nepeta is the ONLY troll who has said, in no uncertain terms, that the caste system should not exist. It's stupid, it's bad, and it doesn't meowtter!

AND SHE'S RIGHT.

But she's never able to fully express this opinion, which brings us to:

A COMPLICKATED RELATIONSHIP WITH EQUIUS

Now, before I say anything, I must insist that I do believe these two work as good moirails. That does not, however, stop them from being 13, and therefore, being poor to each other the way 13-year-olds sometimes are. I don't think they should break up; I think they should re-examine certain dynamics, and I think they need some space to breathe apart from each other.

Equius has a lot of problems, which I won't get into overmuch here, because... that's a whole essay on its own (are you people seeing a trend yet). But with regards to Nepeta specifically, he's extremely controlling and protective, to the point where she's a little scared of him before the game begins:

AC: :33 < well it does sound like it will be a lot of fun but i think i should get purrmission first GC: BL4R!!!!! GC: TH4TS SO STUP1D GC: H3S NOT TH3 BOSS OF YOU AC: :33 < i know! AC: :33 < but still im kind of scared of him and i think purrhaps its best to just run it by him first so there isnt a kerfuffle about it or anything

She's also afraid to tell him about her crush on Karkat, since she knows he doesn't like Karkat:

AC: :33 < well AC: :33 < i have never told anybody this not even my moirail AC: :33 < heh, actually hes the LAST guy i might tell, he so wouldnt appurrve X33 AC: :33 < but yes i have liked somebody for quite some time, but alas he doesnt know it

By the time they end their game, she's gotten over this fear, seeing as she spends many hours curled up with Equius in a pile of robotics parts, but it still must be noted that they have some issues in their relationship that were never resolved, primarily on Equius's end. What this means for Nepeta, however, is that in addition to setting her up as the most outright anti-classism troll, the comic sets her up to be socially isolated due to her moirail's paranoia about letting her associate with both lowbloods (seeing them as bad influences) OR other highbloods, seeing them as dangerous.

He's not entirely wrong - his refusal to allow her to participate in FLARP kept her from winding up entangled in the horrible chain of revenge, as Tavros alludes:

AT: iT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST, AT: tHAT YOU LISTEN TO HIM, AC: :33 < i dont know AC: :33 < you think so? AT: wELL, AT: iF YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM BEFORE, AT: yOU MIGHT HAVE PLAYED GAMES WITH US BEFORE, AT: aND SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU, AC: :33 < hmm purrhaps

But he's still wrong. And it's probably an uncontrolled manifestation of his Heir of Void abilities - he's both consciously and unconsciously hiding her from other people.

This isn't to say she doesn't stand up for herself! Many of her discussions with Equius are pseudo-arguments, and she does get her way often enough, managing to get him to roleplay with her, and managing to get him back in the roboti% pile to talk about his feelings about Aradia. She also talks to the humans explicitly against Equius's orders, although she's keeping it a sneakret from him:

NEPETA: :33 < but equius already furbid me from doing that :(( NEPETA: :33 < not that i am listening to him, but shhhhh! :33 KARKAT: WAIT, HE DID? KARKAT: OK, THEN AS YOUR LEADER I ORDER YOU TO RP WITH THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. BE AS OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT AS YOU CAN. NEPETA: :33 < yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

But the fact that she has to tiptoe around him like this speaks to them having issues in their relationship that go unexamined and unresolved, especially since it's clear that Nepeta really would like to be friends with more people, were Equius not getting in her way. So, even though I do think they are good moirails for each other - they clearly genuinely, deeply care about one another. But they could use some relationship counselling.

In fact, Jasprosesprite^2 outright calls her lonely:

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Or the girl who likes ships! Cause they made her less lonely. ;3

So, she's anti-hemocaste and lonely, two character traits that were set up and never resolved. And beclaws this is Nepeta, in her honor, I'm going to talk about a third:

Her Unrequited Crush On Karcat

She has the BIGGEST flushed crush on Karkat. It's seen on her shipping wall twice, once with the word OTP on it.

And, despite never discussing it with her moirail, Nepeta mentions it once to Jaspersprite, and once to Jasprosesprite^2.

Now, I'm not really here to debate on the validity of KatNep - I think it's fine, even if I don't personally ship it, and don't personally think it would work out (there are lots of indications that they wouldn't work out, including Jasprosesprite^2 outright saying so). However, her crush on Karkat is both complicated and creates some interesting setups for her character. I am going to discuss it fairly critically either way, so KatNep shippers have been warned.

A lot of her feelings about Karkat - and about shipping in general - wind up being heavily interlinked with her status as a Hero of Heart, so I'm going to expand on it more there. But what I will note in this section is the fact that, despite Nepeta insisting twice that she doesn't think Karkat knows about her crush on her:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < it was karkat NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but i never told him and im pretty sure he never found out how i felt!

He tooootally did:

KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME. KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK?

Interpret that how you will for shipping purposes, but I want to propose that this is a reflection of their statuses as Heart and Blood players. Heart, despite its players' obsessions with romance, is not the romance aspect, Blood is. Karkat displays this very same romantic acumen when he tells Dave that he's known Terezi and Gamzee were a thing for a long time, despite everyone else on the meteor trying to keep it a secret from him. Heart is, instead, about identity, feelings, motivations, souls, and self. In other words:

Nepeta Is Kind Of Bad At Shipping

Let's take a look at those shipping walls.

Let's break this down a little. Nepeta's ships are not entirely wrong, but even the successful ones are kind of wrong. Here's what I mean. We've already discussed how Equius and Nepeta's moirallegiance has some... issues in it. If we go down her list of ships that actually do happen, most of them have some issues in them!

Aradia expresses her regret for getting together with Equius in the Ministrife. Kanaya and Rose suffer some major relationship problems when Rose starts drinking, to the point Karkat feels a need to step in as an auspice. Karkat and Gamzee fail, as Karkat is not calmed by Gamzee, and Gamzee stops listening to Karkat. And while Sollux and Feferi seem to be fairly healthy, after they both wind up in the Furthest Ring, he's pretty much always next to Aradia - he and Feferi don't even get to exchange words with each other once they're in the Furthest Ring. Purrsonally, I think he and Feferi are meant to end up as moirails, but shhhh.

So what's happening here? Well, this goes back to her identity as a Heart player. Heart is concerned with feelings and motivations.

They simply want to understand the one thing we all are stuck with for our entire lives, i.e. our own minds. Forging an identity is extremely important to the Heart-bound, and every decision and action goes toward building a coherent narrative of their own story. That isn't to say Heart-bound don't care deeply for their friends and allies; they just have a tendency to assume that everyone is as concerned with identity as they are.

Nepeta's shipping has also been associated with her isolation and loneliness. When you put this together, it implies that Nepeta's shipping is about her desire to understand others, and much of her ships are based on one of the parties having feelings, regardless of compatibility, feasibility, or broader implications. After all, despite the fact that she has pretty terrible romantic acumen, she IS able to instinctively identify that Eridan's advances toward her were insincere:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well ok i guess eridan hit on me a few times NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but his advances always struck me as cr33py and insincere

And that Karkat secretly LOVES and RESPECTS his friends:

JASPROSESPRITE^2: On the contrary Nepeta. You deserve someone who will RESPECT and ADORE you. NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well... yes NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i always hoped to find someone like that some day NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i dunno maybe youre right but in spite of whatever problems he might have i always felt like i saw something in him that made me think he could be that purrson!

Or knowing that Equius loves to play games, and still feels sad about Aradia exploding:

AC: :33 < i s33 right through your stupid act, who are you trying to kid! AC: :33 < look how you go out of your way to use words that have x's in them so that you can use your silly purrcent signs AC: :33 < or use these absurd words that you can shoehorn a '100' into, even if its not strictly replacing 'loo'!!! AC: :33 < you are so transpurrent AC: :33 < i can tell you like to play games, d33p down you are a guy who likes to play games! AC: :33 < i can smell a guy who likes to play games from so fur away with this nose, you have no idea X33

NEPETA: :33 < she was so happy, just like she used to be, and she said she would s33 you soon! EQUIUS: D --> That's a nice thought, and thank you for sharing it EQUIUS: D --> But it was only a dream, and will surely have no consequence in reality NEPETA: :33 < equius? NEPETA: :33 < are those f33lings i an detecting with my wiggly whiskery nose? EQUIUS: D --> Maybe

Because feelings, and not relationships, are her actual domain.

And speaking of Heart powers...

Nepeta and the Ultimate Self

So from this point forward, I'm going to assume you're more or less agreeing with my take that at some point after Game Over, Hussie - for whatever reason - gave up on his original ending, and wound up truncating his ideas so he could finish the comic faster. I go more into detail about that here.

So, in this hypothetical original ending, I firmly believe that the speech about the Ultimate Self would have come from Nepeta. First, let's take a look at what the "Ultimate Self" entails, as it appears within the comic:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < everything that ever happens to every version of you is an important part of your ultimate self... like a superceding bodyless and timeless persona that crosses the boundaries of paradox space and unlike god tiers or bubble ghosts or whatever, it really IS immortal DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but in your physical form there are all these partitions in your mind that prevent you from remembering any of that which makes your existence f33l totally linear DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < which is probably for the best! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in a regular body s33ing all that would be too overwhelming ... DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and after it sinks in for a while you start coming to this understanding of a greater self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe i "got it" quicker though because of the two people i was and their aspects DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < understanding heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < nepeta never got to make much headway with her aspect but shes finally gettin the chance DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the time aspect is all about running into different versions of yourself so you kinda get confronted with it in a really literal way that can be disturbing DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < obviously davesprite stuggled with that too, but now its fine DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hes fr33 from worrying about it all and what it means for his place in reality DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < because he can s33 now all his selves have relevance in painting the full picture of who he truly is DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im not COMPLETELY sure because im not like some sort of ASPECT MASTER but DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my avian slash feline intuition tells me that all roads will lead you here eventually DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < gaining the d33pest possible understanding of any aspect will bring you to the same final conclusion about your ultimate self

Now, I believe - and I hope you'll agree - that it's kind of lame, narratively, for Davesprite to have been set up with so much angst about not being the "real Dave," and for Nepeta to have all her issues with loneliness and shyness, and for these two specific iterations of each other to have never interacted, but suddenly getting double-prototyped fixes all of their problems, and they achieve Ultimate Selfhood despite being two total strangers to each other. So let's instead break down the more salient points about what Ultimate Selfhood entails, divorced from the fact that it's Davepetasprite^2 doing the narrating:

Every player in the game possesses an "Ultimate Self," an ultimate culmination of all their experiences and memories, specifically referred to as a "persona"

Normally, people are not aware of this, because it would be too overwhelming to deal with so many memories and iterations of each other.

Everyone will achieve Ultimate Selfhood eventually as the final culmination of their understanding of their aspect.

Heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self.

Let's talk about that last one some more, and by that I mean, let's see what Calliope has to say about it:

TT: I don't know why it had to be this way for me. Juggling these two waking selves at once. TT: I guess I'm used to it, but it still makes for a pretty intense existence. TT: Do you even know what the deal with that is? Like is there any precedent in your readings? UU: i don't know aboUt precedent, bUt it makes plenty of sense to me as the type of path one might expect for a hero of heart. UU: a path rUled by the heart aspect can be a joUrney of splintered self. UU: that is, the player's being may exhibit the same kind of fragmentation which certain classes coUld caUse in others. UU: i think this is what has triggered yoUr dUal-awareness between waking and dream selves, thoUgh it woUld not sUrprise me if the symptoms manifested in even more ways than this.

Now, Dirk has a clawmplicated relationship with his alternate selves, given that he's a Prince, but Nepeta wouldn't have the same struggles, or at least, not to the same degree. The problem is, hampered by Equius and her own shyness about discussing her thoughts and feelings with others:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i get so shy and worried what people might think of me if i say how i f33l NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im always so scared that they wont f33l the same way or just think im stupid or pathetic or something

She never actually gets to explore this part of herself.

But What If... She Did?

The way I imagine the original ending going is that each troll that gets saved by John's interference in the timeline then asks John to help them fix their own mistakes, thereby saving somebody else. Each successive trip through the meteor brings new character development, and also riddles the comic with progressively more password pages, which I think would be really funny. And throughout all this the Game Over team is searching for Vriska, Meenah, and the treasure, and resolving their arcs that way, so it's not like they would be replaced - they're the ones who get to kill LE. The process, in my mind, goes like this:

Terezi asks John to save Vriska, and prevent her from getting too spades with Gamzee, as these are her two greatest regrets.

Vriska obviously had great regrets about killing Tavros, both pre- and post-retcon, so she asks for his death to be prevented.

Tavros staying alive means that he and Gamzee wind up hashing out some stuff - Gamzee mentions that he feels "So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu" while talking to Tavros, and Tavros reciprocates the friendship and also - interestingly - acknowledges Gamzee's religion, calling it beautiful even if he doesn't necessarily believe in it. This is interesting because Karkat's inability to do so is explicitly one of the reasons their moirallegiance broke down. So having Tavros back, alive, means that he and Gamzee would likely end up in some sort of relationship, probably pale despite flushed leanings, and would bring Gamzee back into the fold.

Gamzee would then be like, yeah, wow, that time I killed Nepeta and Equius was pretty bad, huh? Especially since his decision to hang onto his friends' bodies and prototype them is often interpreted as him genuinely feeling bad about his dead friends (he tells Kurloz to shut up when Kurloz mentions all the dead friends, and his religion seems to be about a paradise he wants to share with his friends anyway). So he'd ask John to prevent him from killing them, resulting in the two of them getting to live.

Things get much more hypothetical from here, since so much of the character dynamics would have changed, but I think by this point, Equius might command ask John to let him say goodbye to Aradiabot before she explodes, which he expresses feeling very sad about. However, in doing so, John and Aradiabot end up in the same room, and when she realizes that he has the ability to change the timeline without repercussions, she'd seize him by the arm and demand that he take her back in time, to before she died. After all, she expresses regrets about her reckless actions, and how she always felt like it was all one big setup.

She would take Aradia's place in the Vriska revenge chain, being once more freed of her robot chassis, and from there, would trick Doc Scratch and the Handmaiden into thinking everything was still going according to their designs. Meanwhile, Alive!Aradia would be hanging out at Equius's place, borrowing his void powers to avoid notice, coordinating a new timeline that keeps the beats of the original (too much deviation causes unpredictability, and an paradox'd timeline offshoot without John's direct interference would still become doomed), but allows them greater freedom and the ability to overcome the machinations of Doc Scratch and associates.

This would also prevent Sollux from becoming so self-loathing, since it's no longer "his fault" that Aradia dies, although he winds up in that hole again after Feferi gets killed. Now that his Aradia is alive, he wouldn't feel like he might as well stay in the bubbles because his closest companions are there, so he'd make it to the end, and would ask John to prevent Feferi's death.

Eridan still dies; he's so disconnected and isolated from all his friends that his course of actions is largely unaffected even by everybody else's timeline tweaks. But before Feferi can suggest bringing him back, Karkat would butt in.

The Friendship Troll should be the one to demand that ALL of their friends be revived, especially if they had everyone except only one guy, and Karkat and Eridan are heavily implied to be moirails anyway. The course of Karkat's fixes are so comprehensive, and primarily romance-based, that the end result of this final loop is everybody not only being alive, but god-tiered, with appropriate character development.

Now, where Nepeta's Heart powers would play into all of this is that she would start to notice something going on. After all, Heart players are sensitive to their splintered selves, and (Nepeta) is probably much closer to Nepeta than regular doomed timeline offshoots. As the loops continue, and Nepeta has more and more time to talk to people, and meets her dead alternate selves, and even meets (Nepeta), she starts to awaken to her Ultimate Self - to come into possession of alternate memories.

And if the Ultimate Self is a very soul-y kind of concept, such that Heart players have a natural advantage in coming to understand it, then isn't it a natural fit that a Rogue of Heart - one who steals from Heart or steals Heart for others - would be naturally inclined to share the wisdom of her alternate selves, and even the very concept of the Ultimate Self, with her friends?

Because the Ultimate Self is actually, in my opinion, a pretty good narrative device. It turns the sadness of the dead and doomed timelines into something littersweet instead, and makes it so any weirdness regarding time travel and not really knowing your friends anymore will eventually be resolved, even if off-screen.

It's not really narratively satisfying when Davepetasprite^2 suddenly comes into being and reaches enlightenment, but imagine if instead it's a post-character development Nepeta comforting Davesprite on his relevance, or Jade on her loneliness, or John on not really knowing these new post-retcon versions of his friends? It would feel a lot better, since in this hypothetical, she would have reached that point after on-screen character development. Being able to share her true self with her friends on the meteor - by necessity, since what else are they going to be doing for three years - leads to her finally being able to fulfill her role as a Rogue of Heart.

Also, at some point during these repeated meteor trips, she dates Karkat (whether that's successful or not, I'll leave to reader interpretation - you already know where I stand), fulfilling Jaspersprite's musing that she might only be able to date Karkat after she dies.

So that's two out of thr33 of her outstanding plot hooks resolved... okay. So, I try not to make these essays into ship propaganda, but hear me out:

Hate Is Stored In The FefNep

Okay, so, remember that thing about how Feferi is actually a huge casteist hypocrite? Well, let's also note that the comic, post-Murderstuck, seems to put Nepeta and Feferi together a lot - they're a Commodore and Rear Admiral in the ghost pirate army, respectively, and they also wind up as Fefetasprite. So I think it's not entirely out of left field to say that these two were implied to have SOMETHING going on.

And that something... is a difference in political views.

I mean, let's be real, there's a reason Fefetasprite is the most explode-prone after Tavrisprite. Miss "The Hemocaste is Stupid and Shouldn't Matter" vs. Miss "I Love Being A Princess And Call Jade Hornless and Finless (Derogatory)"? Come on, tell me you don't see it.

Without getting too much into Feferi, this hypocrisy, and unwillingness to check her privilege (so glad I found an excuse to use that term unironically), are probably her greatest character flaws - ie, the things you would expect the story to address about her. Meanwhile, one of Nepeta's flaws, which she laments to Jasproseprite^2, is that she feels too shy to talk about her feelings to other people, leading to her having never expressed her views on the hemocaste to anyone but Equius.

I think that they initially think they'd be friends. Each one of them would go "oh man, this other girl is soooo cute, I wish I could talk to her more often!"

And then, once they do, they realize they fucking hate each other. Nepeta would go "X00 < you are such a hypocrite who f33ls like youre better than all of us!!!" and Feferi would go "You're suc)( an uneducated glubbing P-EASANT! 3X0" and then they'd claw each others' eyes out. It would be so funny, and if a homestuck ship isn't extremely fucking funny, then why are we even here.

But more importantly, this would further them along into resolving each others' arcs - Feferi would be forced to grapple with the greater implications of classism, and Nepeta - who is shown having a spine the most in defiance of somebody else - would grow more aggressive about being open about her feelings in defiance of Feferi. Even Equius would get roped into it in a positive way - you can just imagine him going "D --> Can I really believe my auricular sponge clots D --> Nepeta, you are finally taking interest in politi%" and be 100% on board with teaching her so Feferi won't be able to call her uneducated.

And then for flushed, I dunno! Karkat's an option, and Jade and Jake also both love the fuck out of furries, and Tavros seems nice. But yeah I'll die on the fefnep hate ship. Guys it would be so funny.

Thank you as always for reading! Let me know if there's a troll you want to hear me ramble about next.

#homestuck #nepeta leijon #feferi peixes #equius zahhak

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cheolhub · 8 months

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birthday bash ask!!~

let’s eat (🤤)- sarrrr this is dangerous!! i’m going to have to request mr kim mingyu (you know!!) and i’ll let you decide on a prompt(s) to use! (trust you with my all! gimme a dm if u want me to choose hehe)

5:13 p.m. — kim mingyu

prompt. “you're so good for me, so fucking good around me, fucking made for me. “

wc. 955

warning. mingyu fucks reader in a dryer (very unrealistic), needy!gyu, baby fever + marriage kink (my fav combo), use of mommy [x1], unprotected sex, creampie, manhandling, SO much dirty talk, pet names [baby, angel] — MINORS DNI 18+

note. thank u for sending in an ask lu,, i’m so sorry if you dont like the piece or the prompt i used !!! i know it’s a lil intense and lacks a lot of detail 😭 i was in the mood to write needy gyu with baby fever without thinking abt logistics so,,, here it is (also im sorry it’s so short </3) [not proofread if u see a typo, i literally didn’t write this]

mingyu is a sucker. you’re not sure there’s a diagnosis for what he has other than a severe case of baby fever. it's not when he sees babies that sets him off, no, it’s you. you doing anything remotely domestic like chores around the house for that matter. when you’re cooking him dinner, loading the dishwasher, dusting and sweeping in your cute little house slippers, and his personal favorite, unloading the dryer.

to put it simply, he just can’t wait to give you a baby so he can come home and spoil his gorgeous little family. the mere mention of even wanting a future with him has him weak in the knees.

it’s why your his shirt is flipped over your ass and your panties are pushed halfway down your legs the second he finds you in the laundry room. “gyu, what the fuck are you– ah!” you cry out feeling his spit-slicked cock slip inside of you. you fall into the pile of warm clothes, the smell of clean linen filling your nose. “baby!”

mingyu groans, cock twitching at the word that’s had his head spinning for weeks, “that’s right, ‘m gonna give you a baby, angel,” he says, hands gripping your hips for dear life, the flesh of your skin nearly interlaced between his fingers.

you moan loudly, but it’s muffled by the wild white sheets in the machine. your skin burns up as if it weren’t already on fire thanks to the fresh heat of the dryer. you knew mingyu was ruthless and needy when it came to getting his dick wet, but never would you have thought you’d be in this position as he pounds into you.

“fuck, i love you so much. love you and this fucking pussy so so much. ‘m gonna fill you up ‘n ‘m gonna marry you,” he mutters, eyes watching the way you swallow his dick whole, disappearing as it goes in and out. “gonna make you a pretty little mommy, make you my fuckin’ wife.”

you’re partially convinced that your boyfriend has gone crazy, but the words head straight to your core, the increase in your arousal solidifying everything mingyu had said.

his breathing becomes labored, soft moans growing louder as they morph into deep groans. your ears pick all of it up even with the walls of the dryer attempting to drown him out. “tell me you wan’ it, angel, t-tell me you wan’na baby, a pretty ring… tell me you want me forever.”

you just can’t say no, the offer is too good. you want everything and more with this man, so you tell him exactly what he wants to hear. “i do, i wan’ it, gyu, w-wanna make you a d-dad! w-wanna marry you!”

a guttural groan erupts in his chest and his thrusts pick up, the tip of his cock ramming into your cervix eliciting a loud, muffled cry as you scream into the cloth. “baby, you're so good for me, so fucking good around me, fucking made for me.” he babbles, overstimulated tears pricking at his eyes. “i’m so close, angel. gonna fill this cunt with all my cum ‘n get you pregnant. it’s gonna take. s-swear to fucking god, it’s gonna take.”

your hands mercilessly fist at the cotton, wrinkling it in your tight grasp. you think the heat from the freshly dried sheets melts your brain because now you’re sobbing, incoherently babbling out pleas, but the only thing that can be heard in the mess of your words is the chant of his nickname, “gyu, gyu, gyu!” you clench tightly around his cock, gummy walls molding to the shape of him as they’re made to.

and, fuck, mingyu’s abdomen tightens at the euphoric feeling. his balls draw up, thrusts turning sloppy and inconsistent as he fucks into you. “shit, baby,” he mewls, his grip on your hips near bruising. “i’m gonna cum.”

all it takes is another tight hug from your cunt and he’s a mess. his cock throbs inside the heat of your stretched cunt before he slams into you and stills, his tip pressed right against your cervix as he empties his load.

it’s the ripple effect that triggers your own orgasm. you moan and whine as you feel his heavy seed filling you to the brim and painting your used walls white. all the while, the knot that’s been steadily forming in the pit of your tummy completely unravels and you’re left a shaking, crying mess inside a dryer full of wrinkled, tear soaked cotton.

it takes him longer than usual to come down from his orgasm, but he eventually eases his grip on your waist as he finds his mind again. he pulls your near-limp body out of the dryer and you let out a broken whine as you feel his cock slip out, creating a mess of cum on the ground. he doesn’t really mind seeing his load go to waste knowing he’ll pump you full the second you’ve recovered.

you slump in his arms while he wordlessly presses kisses into your hair. when you whine again, he murmurs apologetically. “sorry i was so rough, are you okay?”

you nod, still trying to catch your breath and regain stability. “it’s okay. i’m okay. just need a sec,”

he doesn’t say anything for a minute or so, holding you in his arms till you’re able to stand on your own but then he whispers. “can we go again? are you up for it?”

you laugh softly at his need. “we can, but can we try the bed this time? do you think you’ll make it to our room without fucking me against one of the walls?”

he shrugs, grinning to himself. “we’ll see.”

#[ birthday bash ! ]#[ ⭐️: mutuals ! ]#[ 👢: lucy ! ]#mingyu smut #svt smut #seventeen smut

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