#I fear I may just be stupid

[perpetually-exploding-aircon]

This picture of Tom Waits always catches me off guard because every single time I see it I always think it's Willem Dafoe, and every time I sit there and try to remember what he's been in that would make him an artist on Spotify

#I think it's def the cheekbones #Tom Waits #Music #Willem Dafoe #I have seen this image hundreds of times #I fear I may just be stupid

[chilledstrawberrysoda]

Kevin Day isn't actually a coward, Neil and Andrew just have very different ideas of what it means to be brave. Kevin is a survivor. He spent most of his formative years walking a middle ground of being useful but not so much that he showed riko up. He had every reason to be afraid of riko. He was the only one that truly understood what riko was capable of aside from Jean. Neil and Andrew are fighters, they are all or nothing types, they don't understand how someone could walk a middle ground just for something that resembles safety when they fought so hard to not give in to threats until it threatened someone they care about and almost killed themselves in the process. Kevin didn't even know he was ALLOWED to fight back because that was never an option. Leaving the only life he's ever known was so much braver than anyone gives him credit for. It isn't until he has something to fight for and is given permission (not just by the moriyama's and Neil but by himself) to be his own person for the first time that he is able to defy his abusers.

It's not cowardly to do what you can to stay safe. Not everyone has Andrew and Neil's blatant disregard for their own personal safety. Being afraid of pain and death is perfectly reasonable.

#kevin day #aftg #neil josten #all for the game #andrew minyard #not capitalizing riko as a sign of disrespect #this post is in no way andrew or neil slander i just wanna remind everyone that from neil perspective kevin may seem cowardly #but he's actually so brave #neil is also not as fearless as he seems #remember in jean's perspective neil isnt seen as brave jean just thinks he's unhinged and a little stupid #in Neil's perspective he is terrified while doing the crazy dangerous thing #but his own safety comes second to what he wants most #and we might not get Andrew's perspective but i assure you he was not fearless #his fear just translates into anger a lot of the time

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

y'all does it get better

#im acknowledging this is the mental illness and i should trust nothing i feel rn but #in an undisclosed amount of time ill be a legal adult and like. i know it wont get better automatically im not stupid but like #is there an improvement at least #how bad are taxes #i dont know how ill ever be able to have and maintaina job #and like. god thats not even mentioning schooling and all the issues we're having there #chat i fear i may be a failure of a person idk #I'm not being suicidal or anything to be clear im just out of it rn ill be good tomorrow probably #aethers rants #personal posts and stuff idk #cw vent

[cerealmonster15]

I want to try you house out of the sheer curiosity of seeing it on so many people’s art fight bios and I want to SEE!!!! but I think u gotta get codes from real human beings (who pay to use the site I think?? That gives them codes??) in order get in there so. I guess I will be turning into a turnip instead.

#I am all over the place right now and I CANNOT wrangle my stupid little brain meat right now #Do u ever sneeze so hard you nearly throw out ur back #I fear that every time I sneeze bc I sneeze kind of aggressively #Like just now. Like they’re not scary loud like my parents #But they’re hefty!!!!! #Anyway would I even use toy house or just stare at it and get scared??? Well I don’t know. #But I think I would try may haps #It all depends on the community I crave community #<- says the person whose been actively hiding from tumblr days at a time #Despite this being the only place I DO have that online community circle lol #Um it’s complicated. I’m experiencing a complicated thing in my brain lately I cannot explain it I’m. It’s fine. 🚶 #not leaving tho id be too sad #Im justbhwhehdhfhfhthtjtgjfgngng trying to figure something out. I do not know what yet #Ok I gotta pee goodbye ✌️

[inflammatoryfandomblog]

I do find it interesting that ATLA managed to use a very black and white narrative (stop Evil Empire) to tell several character stories with some nuance, while TDP claims it has a nuanced conflict and flattens everything to try and make up for that, ultimately leading to protagonist centred morality more than anything. And if they didn’t want me to compare the two then they should have let go of the ATLA references right away.

you're right and you should say it.

the constant and shoehorned references to ATLA do not really do this show any favors. honestly might be part of the problem (why are there 7 primals with color-coded elves? to follow ATLA's pattern of marketable separable elements. why is it an adventure story with a core crew? because ATLA was like this too. etc etc.)

but anyway. yeah. ATLA had a very simple main conflict to provide a constant source of tension throughout the show (even if they dropped the ball at the last season re: the plot), and this structure allowed for episodes that explore other aspects of the setting and characters while still making everything feel relevant and tied together by said conflict. it's not some arthouse show by any means, but it has good compelling story work into it. genuinely great show.

tdp immediately opens up with the nuance and it never really delves deeper. you'd think that opening with characters being aware of the cycle of violence stuff would be interesting and the show would explore that more, but it just... flatlines there. there's no progression or graduation or exploration of themes as the seasons go on like in ATLA. very rarely are there new questions being asked or arcs that feel sensical.

honestly the main characters having to be perfect in every situation is the biggest problem with tdp. the mains are not allowed to have shortcomings or mistaken judgements or anything to meaningfully interact in any way with the nuanced set-up. they emotionally exist entirely outside it, which ends up making them the Messiahs of Peace Who Can Do No Wrong. good for fandoms i guess, people bitched and whined about bato and the water tribe for years. but it's not very good for storytelling.

and also, they're just bad characters and the writers can't put two and two together while still asking you to take their world very seriously.

anyways i'm just rambling at this point. good observation.

#tdp #tdp critical #for the tag filterers #ezran is legitimately a fucking awful character #callum is pointless and doesn't make sense within the larger world of the show #remember that <<path to darkness>> fear in season 4? no build-up #no exploration. nothing. just signposting for a Dark Arc because all the cool kids are doing it #like unless you were stupid it was clear that both viren and callum struggled with feelings of insecurity and wanting to be great #like really. no reason except extremely shitty foreshadowing and honestly a waste of screentime. like i'm sorry #but the fart jokes were unironically more characterful. claudia is emotionally immature #never got over her childhood. and her poopoofarty humor is a legitimate way of portraying that. viren realizes this. see i can be nice. #but like. for the mains? the human rayla joke may be funnier but does rayla's prejudice against humans ever play a role in her character? #oh no she's not allowed to be bigoted. neither are her parents. they have to be Good All Along. #and like the sad thing is the characterization of claudia like this is most likely not completely intentional. #devon giehl is like oh claudia likes terry because she thinks he's special in only a way *she* can see. #and not the more obvious nuanced explanation of claudia generally believing things about elves + dragons #but having the sense to realize that this doesn't mean every single individual is evil. but no she's just IRRATIONAL. ok then. #writers shut up and not ruin something that accidentally worked challenge level: impossible #asks #ask #anon #good ask honestly. #just rambling at this point

[pawbeanies]

Baby boy. Pretty puppy. Wanna hold your face, kiss you real gentle, run my hand down your back and catch at your waist, settlin’ there like we were two figures made outta clay, made to fit together, molded from each other’s model, but put into the kiln separately, so we wouldn’t blow up.

I could make you anything you wanted. I work with clay, I work with metal, I work with leather… I could make you a pretty little collar, you just say the word. I could be yours, if you’d let me. You’re sweeter than fresh squeezed peach juice and I’m sure you’d last longer on my tongue.

I can be sweet, if that’s what you want. I can be a real gentleman, buying you drinks, opening up doors for you, walking you to wherever you wanna go, I can be soft, I can be warm. I can be like a sunset, I can see the moon in your eyes, looking at me, knowing I’m only there to lead up to your night.

We can kiss under the stars, my jacket on your shoulders, my hand on your thigh. You’re such a nice boy, I know I’d feel bad for kissing you like that, but not too bad, not when you’re begging me for it.

I’m getting sappy. It’s getting late. I wanna make you a ring that fits exactly on your finger, and I want you to know I made it only because I thought you might like it. I want my callouses to match the ring, the effort just as beautiful as the product. I know any effort can be beautiful, with you.

- 🍑

awa ..?!?! aawawawawawa?!?!?! awawawawawAAA?!?!?

please imagine like. me. comically and over exaggeratedly turning around like youre talking to someone behind me. turning back to look at you n pointing at myself. ME ? ME?! did you send this to the wrong blog peach anon are you sure. are y. you. wh. awawa.?!?!

this is too sweet and ?!?! romantic?!?! it can't be for me ... huh ... covering my face with my sleeves kicking my feet a little you are VERY good with your words and very. augh. wouagh. um?!? mhm mhm?!! crumbling into dust as i type i. w. awawa. i cant even think of words and sentences that make sense this is very ... aaa... wah.... so nice and gentle and .?!?! i..?!?!

i keep reading this one i feel like dizzy. im ?? wah??? hiding my face blushing whining sliding down in my chair. please ? please ? ive been taken out in one fell swoop.....

#asks..?!?!?! #🍑 anon #originally i was going to like. copy paste quotes that made me feel mush melty but #thats THE WHOLE ASK..!!!! ughh #i fear. i may be weak to nice words. i may be stupid #so nice but also a little mean. sending an ask like this to a boy is DANGEROUS and bad for the brain (i will be thinking of this all day #sniffles. your jacket on my shoulders and your hand on my thigh i wouldnt even be able to make it to a kiss without melting i think... #ne way um grabbing ur hands. with my soft tiney ones. just to feel the callouses #have me blushing kicking my feet in a little puddle fr... #'i could make you anything you wanted' . yours . perhaps.? #also dksjdj i would NOT last. on ur tongue. i fear. thats a joke yknow bc like its like hhehe get it

[faggotry-enjoyer]

oh i'm definitely gonna lose some friends for this one huh

#already got vagueposted about by one former friend as 'comparing pro-palestine sentiments to antisemitism' #direct quote 'israel desperately wants them to believe this is a religious war and not a genocide' #same guy who said 'boy howdy do we know their side of the story' and ten short texts later said verbatim: #'we can't use religion as birthright thats stupid and the Number One Tool of Colonizers' #which is a STAGGERING amount of cognitive dissonance #as if religion is the relevant part and not the literal historical fact of jewish indigineity to eretz israel #mind you at the time of the vaguepost the ONLY thing i said regarding palestine #was that if your 'support' for palestinians includes sharing basic antisemitic dogwhistles and blatantly lying about history #then that 'support' will accomplish nothing for palestinians and only get jews killed #and i feel like looking at that and insisting that i'm comparing all pro-palestinian sentiment to antisemitism is uh. telling #we'll see how this ends up going - i fear it may not be the greatest for my social life but i stand by what i said #bc even if i am wrong about Everything directly surrounding israel and palestine #i was strictly discussing antisemitism in the discourse surrounding it #and a longer version of 'no stance on israel makes you immune to antisemitism and antisemitism runs deep and will affect your thinking on #the matter and refusing to acknowledge that is dangerous' isn't actually dependent on the intracacies of the conflict it's just True #and i'm not gonna back down again i'm not going to downplay antisemitism again i'm not going to give up #i'm not sure if i have jewish friends i simply do not know about who see what i say on there #but if i do then i need it to be clear they have Someone who is willing to fight for them #and if not i still need to make it clear i won't stand for blatant antisemitism no matter whose name it's in #the only thing that would make me consider taking down what i said is if i believed it's counterproductive #and part of me wonders if it is - i don't want to put people on the defense bc that's simply not conducive to good faith discussion #but at the same time i know that a lot of what i've needed to hear was fed up or harsh words #that i started off just reading and keeping my defensiveness inside until they sunk in over time #and maybe my frustration will have that effect for someone #damn i really need to make some jewish friends... maybe after break i'll reach out to hillel or a local shul to ask if they could use a han #or something idk we'll see #personal #faggotry enjoyer original

[cantsayidont]

March–April 2024. A very strange, frequently tasteless, mostly inexplicable black comedy political satire from the creator of SUCCESSION — though more strongly reminiscent, presumably on purpose, of the 2017 THE DEATH OF STALIN — THE REGIME is a six-part miniseries starring a self-consciously frumpy-looking, outrageously hammy Kate Winslet as Elena Vernham, the egomaniacal authoritarian chancellor of an unnamed Ruritanian state somewhere in Central Europe.

As her hapless husband (Guillaume Gallienne) and self-dealing underlings tiptoe around her growing list of neuroses and increasingly erratic mood swings, a soldier named Herbert Zubak (Matthias Schoenaerts), notorious for his role in a brutal massacre of striking mine workers, is recruited to play a hard-to-define, ever-shifting supporting role in Elena's ongoing psychological breakdown and various political confrontations.

Winslet seems to have been having fun, although she overacts shamelessly, and what accent she thinks she's doing seems to vary from moment to moment; the median could best be described as "Margaret Thatcher, very tipsy, trying to pretend she's not sucking on an Everlasting Gobstopper." Schoenaerts, for reasons that are never clear, plays Zubak like a punch-drunk boxer trying to walk off a life-threatening concussion, leaving his character a perplexing cipher throughout.

Like THE DEATH OF STALIN (which I thought wildly overrated), THE REGIME is more often crass and uncomfortable than actually funny, and its smug misogyny would be offensive if taken seriously (which is admittedly very difficult). Also, given the current state of the UK, watching the largely British cast mock the political instability of a fictitious "Middle European" autocracy causes some seasickness. (Whistling past the graveyard, perhaps, but still.) CONTAINS LESBIANS? No! VERDICT: Much more "funny strange" than "funny ha-ha," and because it's basically a one-note joke, it becomes like one of those terrible SNL skits that just won't end.

#teevee #hateration holleration #the regime #kate winslet #matthias schoenaerts #i realize i'm basically just talking to myself here #but i have no one to rant at about how inexplicably weird and awful this stupid show is #people who liked succession might rate it more highly #but i thought succession was hot garbage and a lot of you who loved it did so for reasons that make me think less of you #no matter how much affection you have for kate winslet #(a little or a lot) #this show will sorely test it #i fear that in mocking it i may inadvertently make it sound like it's actually funny #which it really is not #there's some fleeting but really ugly mask-off shit in the finale #that underscores that the whole thing is primarily about hating women and especially the idea of working for women #(obviously elena is a horror but she's like an editorial cartoon) #(drawn by one of those guys who think smartphones are degenerate)

[solvicrafts]

What gets me about certain people being so fucking pissy about Bob not writing much about Eilistraee (until the last fucking trilogy where EIlistraeans featured heavily) is that

a) Bob basically built drow culture up from almost nothing, and Eilistraee came after he started writing Drizzt

b) no you guys really don't understand. I own the first 4 modules drow appeared in. There's... not much there. And it hasn't aged well.

c) and the Big One: he has a specific vision for his specific characters when it comes to the narrative he wants to explore, from sexual abuse to religious trauma, both of which are fucking complicated and for most people just switching deities isn't enough to fix that.

I have religious trauma that I still struggle with to this day and probably will for the rest of my life to some extent, and it's fundamentally different in nature from what most people would probably expect, and the thing is even though I am happily polytheistic and very enthusiastically into it, I still struggle a lot with certain things because every time I get into my religious practice I have to actively force myself into (or out of) certain things because my whole relationship to religion and spirituality is complicated and messy.

It would be easy and frankly incredibly superficial for Bob to decide to just have them all convert to half-assed Neowiccan ~woo~ drow Jesus Eilistraee to *~*save their souls*~* and call it a day

BUT HE DIDN'T DO THAT

Partly because she wasn't his creation and other authors were writing her at the time so he really couldn't, and partly because it's a shitty message to send.

Sometimes people benefit from converting to a new religion or following a new deity. Sometimes people don't.

I benefited from gradually converting to my religion, but it's come with a whole different set of complications and hasn't been a smooth journey for me.

Just going from extensive religious trauma to switching deities does not fix your problems, and for a lot of people it realistically can make them much worse.

but also

you don't have to be saved by a deity in order to have value as a person

#I fucking WAS saved by a deity and while I'm grateful it wasn't an easy ride #and in fact the way certain people in my family treated me was very emotionally abusive #to this fucking day on a journey that's taken me 19 years I STILL have issues with this whole thing #there are some people I may never speak to again because of how they treated me over this #for a Lolthite drow I could easily see them struggling with switching to a new deity especially one like Eilistraee or Vhaeraun #who are NOT seen very positively at all in the society they were raised in #and for a lot of people the fear of being found out and punished is more than enough to prevent them from seeking out a new deity #to say nothing of the already existing religious trauma that would also just as likely make someone hesitate to embrace a new religion #and speaking AS a religious person I do not at all agree with sending the message that traumatize people need to be saved by a god #or by a religious fanatic #my case is extremely unique and while it more or less worked out in the end it was frankly hellish at its worst points #and it cost me a great deal in terms of my relationships with my family and my ability to trust other people #because the way society frames belief in the Greek gods as some distant thing in time like #'haha these people were so STUPID. they believed in gods that turn into swans and stuff' #has absolutely led to a situation where paganism is only cool and okay if it's the woo crystals and sage Neowiccan aesthetic #but actually being a historically based polytheist is conflated with mental illness #and it's damn near impossible to challenge when most modern people have NO understanding of polytheism and take everything literally #as someone who has had to FIGHT just to continue EXISTING as a polytheist I am still FIRMLY against the idea that people NEED religion #in order to have value as people or to heal #yes for SOME people it works. for others it doesn't. AND THAT'S OKAY

[wholemleko]

Out here 2 vent again sry

#terrified by the knowledge of just. having congenital heart disease #got 2 defects #and I'm terrified of dying young #last time I was seen by a doctor about it they said I may not have problems #but my stupid ass with no self control is still gonna start doomscrolling #and reading about shit relating to it #making me scared I'm gonna live too short #that I'll never get to grow old #I'm terrified of dying during surgery #if indeed I shall need it #which who knows #I want this to go away #ffs #UGH #and I have to go to sleep now this always happens when I need to sleep #can't stop thinking about mortality EVER #fucking hell #the hospital where I'm supposed to be seen won't fucking answer my messages #I'm already a year overdue for my next check up #I hate being so scared about things like life and death and for my fears to #ACTUALLY BE RATIONAL #LIKE I HAVE AN ACTUAL REASON TO BE AFRAID #I CANT JUST TELL MYSELF ITS ALL IN MY HEAD THEN CALM DOWN #I hate having a body

[downsteepy]

cant tell if my cat just doesnt like treats or if shes too stupid to know what they are

#ive tried regular treats from a bag .... just tried the squeezy tube treat ... i fear she may just be stupid!

[radioactive-cloud]

those past few days are really testing my patience with some of the takes and opinions i've seen on the internet and i'm so fucking done with all of this i just want to delete all my accounts from everywhere and live somewhere in the woods (as far away from russia as i can) and to never come in contact with another human being again

#i'm so exhausted i just have to rant even tho nobody will care #i have some trouble sleeping because i'm either waiting for another attack to happen #or reading the news about dozens of missiles flying at my country #or hiding in the bathroom while listening to explosions because it's supposed to be the safest place in our appartment #and then i open social media and see all the destruction and casualties and deaths that happened overnight #and at the same time i see people adoring and praising and defending russians and their culture and language #and creaming themselves because of their “mysterious russian soul” #and telling ukrainians that they are stupid and toxic and that what they feel about their killers and occupiers is wrong #well newsflash y'all #russian culture is nothing but blood and death #russian language is nothing but blood and death #it's not just fucking putin doing all of this shit #he wasn't there when ukrainian nation and culture and language were oppressed for literal fucking centuries #did russia invent human cloning for putin to be all those soldiers at the frontline and all those people building drones and missiles? #open your fucking eyes and think for a fucking second #i go to sleep every night fearing that i may not wake up #and then in the morning i see people admiring russians and foaming at the mouths defending them #and then also fucking michael sheen of all people sending his love to them #and i become so insanely pissed #get a fucking reality check #i'm so sick of people excusing russia and its actions #once again guess i'm a walking big bad angry ukrainian stereotype #well that's what war does to you #i won't wish for anyone to experience this but also it may be the only thing that makes some people aware of what a rotten thing russia is #i'm so done and i don't want to feel all of this and i don't want to be a human and i don't want to have thoughts #maybe it's for the best if a missile flies into my room so i won't have to be here any longer and witness all of this shit #(it's a thought i've been having lately and ngl it kinda scares me) #ukraine #russia is a terrorist state #btw i've just discovered there's a limit of 30 tags

[catboyfurina]

One of the really irritating things about that 'oh QPR is just friendship, clearly you've never had friends, lmao loser' discourse is that (and there are many irritating things this is just one of them) even in QPRs that ARE just friendships with a new fancy label.... like...? There are many kinds of friendship that people just have because it's easier than not. And there are friendships that you think are going to be incredibly lasting, but then they date someone new and suddenly you're no longer a priority. The QPR label lets people attach an intentionality and priority to their friendship that really is not guaranteed..... like also not every QPR is this way etc etc but even when it is Just Friendship T M its still like entirely reasonable to want to use that label to signify that it isn't casual

#beeep #like this isnt to say casual friendships are BAD but for alloros its kinda like. there is a typical way to denote a relationship #is intended to be very lasting and very stable and it has its own special word and its normal to look for it etc etc and #like why are u begrudging aros the same thing. just cus they dont wanna kiss??? ridiculous #<-guy who was having Emotions about how boyfriend is a really nice label cus it lets me know its On Purpose and not just Convenient #but like yeah. idk if im arospec or not im kinda giving up on the having a solid orientation thing cus thats hard but... the knowledge that #your loved ones will move on and find someone they love the most and then in the future youre nobodys priority and u cant blame them but it #hurts. well thats really scary. like constant unrequited love but nobody understands because the unrequited love is friendship and they lov #you like a friend ! except they don't realize how different the intensities are anyway. this was a fear of mine when i was id'ing as aro an #it isnt an unreasonable one i think. also may have been somewhat sponsored by being the Convenient Friend and not ever a Best Friend but #yeah. in conclusion. even if a qpr is just another name for a friendship there is a REASON they want to use that term for it and its not #just lmao shitty losers. its because the world is really hard to navigate alone and people want to signify that commitment ! raaaaaaargh #anyway im probably not fully aro ive decided. like probably the cupio label is not correct like i previously thought. but i think that #people are ridiculously mean to aros and like. kinda treat them like they are stupid????? or childish??? anyway #turns out i may not be aro however i believe in their beliefs (i could elaborate more on that but i suspect im running out of tags)

[steelycunt]

I’m not saying that a lot of Regulus fans are only interested in him because they picture him as a Timothee Chalamet insert and wouldn’t give half a fuck about the character if that fancast didn’t exist but… oh wait that is what I’m saying.

yeah i mean. i definitely think there's something in that lol honestly. as ive said before i never really got the interest in regulus i just couldnt care less about the guy he genuinely has zero canon character but. simultaneously i can see how the little that we do know about him makes him an interesting character and i can see why people enjoy the idea of him as a blank slate that you can superimpose nearly any traits you want on to--treating regulus as essentially an oc gives you lots of room for creation. its for these exact reasons that he is of no interest to me personally, and i really don't like the common conceptualisation of him that has emerged from popular headcanon consensus (especially when it involves stripping his character of all agency and half the things that could arguably make him compelling in order to gloss over the fact that he was a death eater) but thats a matter of opinion i suppose. thats a me problem. its just not my cup of tea.

the timothee chalamet thing irritates me for the same reason the ridiculous instagram model/influencer/celebrity fancasts for most characters irritate me, because one of the ONLY things we know about regulus is that he is 'less handsome than sirius'. like ok why not work with that. especially with a character like him where there is virtually nothing to work with. like please explain to me why you refuse to accept that im genuinely curious. why is that the aspect of his character you are so firmly refuting lol.

all in all, if the character is only likeable or interesting or a convincing love interest if you have to pretend they were actually super conventionally attractive, maybe they're just not that likeable or interesting or well-suited to the character you're trying to pair them off with. its a personal thing again i am just not interested in reading/writing about a cast of characters who are all meticulously tailored to conform to beauty standards i do not respect. the minute u try to convince me all your characters are super hot n yassified it all feels less real to me sorry i care less about them. im bored of hot characters i think all fictional characters should be made to look like normal everyday people and i think everyone should be less afraid of so-called ugliness i triple dog dare u

#the 'you' here is just a general vague you btw it is not directed towards any one person and obviously not you anon we're in agreement #and reading it back i fear i may come off a little more aggressive than i intended so psa this is all my opinion like. do what you want #i am not the final word on this issue or any other. i am just a guy no 1 is obligated to listen to me if they dont want to. except about r #anyway remember talking to liv about the whole regulus thing and how. the personality that has been invented for him just seems like #people were bored of r/s they wanted something like r/s but new so they superimposed remus' personality onto him and then added a #few bits of sirius. and this is all me ranting about my opinion mindlessly now but i think #its reflected in those stupid terrible incorrect quote joke posts and how you see one of them where its remus and sirius and then see the #exact same post remade except remus has been changed to regulus and sirius has been changed to james. like yeah because regulus #is just a carbon copy of remus except if he was goth lol. we've done this one before its the same thing #and absolutely regulus can be done well and absolutely i am not a definitive judge of what is 'doing regulus well' just as no one else is #but i think if u want to do regulus well u have to make him less likeable. like he cant be ur soft loveable fav. girl he was a death eater #same as i think the whole barty / evan / regulus / pandora gang is just people refurbing the marauders. same thing different colour #anyway. i feel about regulus the same way i feel about dorcas or mary or marlene. they are not really characters #they dont have any definitive canon traits and i am not really interested in creating ocs. but other people might love that idea! #which is fine! #whew. love it when i get asks about things im scared to talk about of my own accord like i cant get in trouble if you guys asked me first x #anon #telegram #the brothers black #also girls he is a product of generation after generation of inbreeding. the black family should look like the windsors sirius was an #outlier. #oh also sorry i thought i was done but i want to clarify that i am no way saying you cannot be interested in morally grey characters or #find them compelling. instead what i am trying to say is that pretending a morally grey character actually isnt morally grey #in order to justify the fact that you are interested/fond of/compelled by them is boring and a disservice to your fav. hope that makes sens #within what we do know about regulus there are things that make him GOOD but not really anything that makes him likeable. and so much #of popular headcanon seems to be bestowing a ton of likeable traits upon him in order to redeem him despite there being no canon basis 4 it #like. we know regulus was a death eater 'it wasnt his decision he was forced into it!' we know regulus was less handsome than sirius 'no he #wasnt he was also super hot!' do you see what you're doing. you're losing me.

[engagemythrusters]

my General Akiyi Tonn and Commander Hilt, heads of the 116th Battalion. She is prim and poised and all things proper, and he is stoic and silent and would rather take on twelve B1s weaponless than talk to anyone. And they are fucking and don't even bother trying to hide it. At least they command well together...

#EDIT: THE PNG DIDNT WORK I DONT KNOW HOW TO FIX IT GIVE ME A SEC #they fuckin like nasty and everyone fucking knows it #however shes so Proper Tee Em and he's so scary in his silence that nobody talks to either of them about it out of fear #and a bit of confusion #Mace Windu may know. but he is also too awkward to bring it up bc they FUCK DIRTY and its embarrassing to bring up in a council meeting #ahem. anyway. #her lightsaber is yellow. yay! #jedi oc #clone trooper oc #116th battalion #star wars: the clone wars #star wars #its not perfect in the slightest--it's really just a texture practice thing! i'm working on that more than anything else rn #i still have no set 'style' im just trying everything out #and im not sure his metal jaw is very metal (yes the minimal teeth is intentional) #and his stupid lil pocket thing is stupid and i hate those things and wish i could get away with not drawing them #but i did have a fuckin blast distressing his paint #it wasnt easy to make 'random distressing' look real but. yeah. #my art #mimse art #mimse ocs

[goldkirk]

Here’s what I know.

1. I am not dead

2. I don’t need to suffer to justify being alive

3. I can’t save other people

4. I will always want to try

5. That’s not stupid of me

6. I have a responsibility to save myself

#I hate all of it #this is bullshit and I’m sick of being a human and life SUCKS when things are good and everything in my head is FUCKED #I’m preparing for battles that don’t happen and leave me feeling stupid #and never see the ones that DO come until they hit me #I’m not going back to Missouri for the holidays #it’s going to be a miserable round of guilt tripping for the next two months #UNLESS IT ISN’T #I tell people things for once #and then my family DOESN’T do what I JUST told someone they’ll do #and then I feel SO stupid. I hate this stage #I don’t know what to expect from may of them #they treat me like an outsider now but still are sweet and kind and include me and stuff #but they’re engaged in criticism and spiritual warfare and an anti-Katie’s-fallen-ways campaign behind my back with all the kids #because that’s what they did with me in regards to other relatives #UNLESS THEY AREN’T #I want nothing more than for them to change but if they change what the FUCK was all my suffering for? #if they change after all this time then why wasn’t I enough for them to change for when I was begging #and if they don’t change then my suffering and fears will be valid but we’ll also probably have two dead kids or at minimum estrangement #this is a mess but I also overcatastrophize EVERYTHING #which is leading to the 10 month journey of “Katie becoming the girl who cried wolf #…again #anyway whatever this is a weird week I’m kind of fucked up and need to go walk and think #I can’t feel anything but I feel /weird/ #you know?? #shh katie