#I’m not going back to Missouri for the holidays | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

date-a-jew-suggestions · 1 year

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Missouri was my home, and I can’t go back because I’m trans.

Before the rest, I want to clarify: I do not get my hrt through a Missouri healthcare provider. This will not impact my medical transition, and I am so very lucky to not have to worry about that. Many, many transgender people living in Missouri do not have that luxury. However, I am hurt, and I am scared. I was not intending to move back to Missouri, because I am a lot happier where I am now. However, I’m very scared about the precedent that this sets. Missouri is the first state to pass legislation that restricts access to medical transition not only for minors, but for ADULTS. I would be very surprised if this was where their anti trans legislation stopped. Based on how they seem to be leading the charge against transgender rights in this regard, it seems very likely to me that within the next few years, trans peoples rights to public spaces in Missouri will be legally restricted. If this happens, I will not be able to visit about half of my family members.

The rest of this post is me coming to terms with that.

I flew to my home city, St. Louis Missouri for Pesach recently. I was so excited to spend the holiday with my family. Several members of my family were unable to get off work/school on the actual holiday, so I flew home on Easter weekend and we had our Seder on Easter. This is because in the USA, Easter and Christmas are federal holidays that get automatic off days, unlike Jewish holidays. The Seder happened at my grandma’s house and my entire extended family was invited, as is our family tradition. I had a lovely weekend with my family.

While I was visiting, I stayed in my grandparents house. Growing up I spent nearly every weekend there. My grandparents have always done their best to make me feel at home there. I have countless memories at that house of Shabbat with my grandma, playing games with my cousins and sister, climbing the big tree in the backyard, play dates with friends, doing all sorts of arts and crafts projects with my grandma, teaching myself to use a sewing machine on the living room floor, playing d&d in the basement, and big extended family gatherings for every Pesach, Rosh Hashanah, and Yom Kippur every year. It is one of the places that makes me feel the safest out of any place on earth. I would consider it my backup home. And as always, our Passover Seder was amazing.

This trip home coincided with my parents selling the house I lived in until I was 18. This has been in the works for a long time, so it did not come as a surprise to me. Even so, both my grandma and grandpa reassured me repeatedly throughout the weekend that I would always have a home at their house. That I could always come back, to visit or stay as long as I need. That this place would always be my home.

One of the things I did while I was staying there was make sure I had copies of all of the family records that my grandma had saved. Things like family trees, Ellis Island immigration records, death certificates, writings of long deceased relatives. I want to preserve as much of our family history as I can, because too much Jewish history has been destroyed by those who hate us. I already knew that my family has lived in the same city in Missouri practically since they immigrated, I think it’s something like 4 generations. Looking through these documents and reading things the previous generation of my family has written was fascinating and deeply moving to me. It cemented in my mind the fact that my family history is completely intertwined with the St. Louis Jewish community.

And of course, the synagogue I belonged to growing up is in Missouri. Where I spent the high holy days, where I was bat mitzvah’d, where I went to hebrew school every week. My Hebrew school teachers. My rabbis. I’ll be visiting it soon for my cousins Bat Mitzvah, and I’m hoping I might get a chance the day after to sit and talk with my rabbis. I feel like I need to say goodbye to them.

I can’t go back to any of these things. It has taken me a long time to write this post because this is so painful for me. I love my family so very dearly, and I have a big family. My cousins were like extra siblings to me growing up, I’m close with all of my second cousins and their partners and kids, my aunts and uncles, my great aunts and uncles, and my great grandparents when they were alive. I don’t go back to St Louis for the city, I go back for them. My grandparents have lived in St. Louis for their entire lives, and they aren’t going to move. Nor do I want them to have to, they’re so happy there. They have carved out a very comfortable and safe place for their family and friends. It’s just not a place I will be welcomed in for much longer, and that is out of our control. They will travel to visit me once in a while, but I know that me not being able to visit Missouri would drastically cut down on the time I can spend with them. And realistically, they are getting old. I don’t know how much longer cross country travel will be safe and feasible for them.

My family took a long time to get on board with my transition, largely because they were lied to by politicians and mental health “professionals” who were unqualified to treat transgender patients. I don’t want to spend too much time talking about that. To me what matters is that they unconditionally support me as a trans man now, and even though they were misinformed and said and did things that hurt me, they have always loved me. And they have made an incredible and effective effort to not only apologize for the harm they caused, but to change the way they treated me in order to express that love. My grandpa, previously the most old fashioned, socially conservative, and transphobic member of my family, will now call me to say things like “the other day this meshuggenah tried to tell me trans people are dangerous, I told him my grandson is transgender and to shut the fuck up. You shoulda seen the look on his face.” My grandma and mom both flew across the country with me to help me prepare for and recover from my top surgery. I could not have asked for better people to care for me post op.

Despite how supportive they are now, it’s only fairly recently that I’ve repaired my relationship with my family enough to enjoy spending long periods of time with them. It is still hard for me to talk to certain family members because I am trans. But the last few trips home have been the first times in a long time I have had a wonderful time with my family, which is something I missed and needed for so long.

I think that is going to be taken away again very soon. And it’s being pushed by the very same people who lied to my family and drove a wedge between us in the first place. This time it is out of our control.

To say I’m heartbroken would be an understatement. It’s hard for me to even conceptualize the concept that my ability to see my family is being slowly taken from me by the Christian zealots in our government. It feels like just now that I’ve been fully accepted and embraced, I’m being forced out again. And once again, it is under the guise of protecting people like me. They expect me to believe that this is for my own good. That all of the bullying and abuse and dysphoria I was forced to endure for my entire childhood was for my own good, because g-d forbid I be transgender and happy.

I had to move across the country to escape unsafe living conditions caused by white Anglo Saxon Christians, and now I’m uncertain of my ability to visit the family members I left behind. Ironically, this is a very Jewish experience. I imagine this is a much smaller version of the pain my ancestors felt when they immigrated to America and left their family behind in Russia and Poland. In a way, this experience connects me to my Jewish heritage in a profoundly painful way.

This was a long and rambly post. I’m just hurting a lot right now, and I needed to talk. Thank you to anyone who read this far.

#jumblr #transphobia tw #antisemitism mention tw #missouri #Missouri trans legislation #transphobia #transphobic legislation #anti trans bills #anti trans legislation #long post

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cerromoreno · 5 months

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🎄 Starbula Christmas headcanons! 🎄

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had fun imagining how the first Christmas after Peter’s return to earth would go. The below headcanon scenario that has resulted is extremely self-indulgent and Starbula-pining-filled. (Mutual pining is just 😩🤌) And in the spirit of holiday giving, I figured I’d share it!

Background:

It’s been about eight months since Peter returned to earth, since I’m guessing GOTG3 took place in early spring. Since then, the Guardians/Nebula/Drax and Peter have visited each other at least a few times, and everyone has settled into their new lives.

For Peter, it's been an amazing, healing eight months - reconnecting with his grandpa, finally accepting Gamora’s death and moving on, and generally working on himself. He’s stopped drinking and is trying to get his GED (which is fairly time-consuming, since he hasn’t had any formal schooling since third grade lmao).

Peter eventually starts to notice that he's been missing/thinking about Nebula more than his other friends on Knowhere. This slow realization takes a sharp turn in the fall, when Nebula comes to earth for Morgan’s birthday party and stops by Missouri to visit him beforehand. Peter ends up tagging along to the birthday party, and while watching Nebula interact with Morgan, he starts to see her in a new light. You can just read Accidentally in Love for the gist of that headcanon...as I'm obsessed with that fic lol 🙃 And yes, I adore the idea of Nebula basically being an adopted member of the Stark family, continuing even after Tony's death.

Anyway, it’s been a little over a month since Peter started realizing he might have feelings for Nebula. He plans to never tell her, since he figures there’s no way she feels the same for him, and their friendship means too much to him to screw up by confessing his feelings. Little does he know that Nebula has been in love with him for over a year, having developed a crush while they were co-leading the Guardians together. She also plans to never tell him how she feels, knowing there was no way he’d ever see her that way - and also feeling guilty/angry at herself for falling for her dead sister’s boyfriend.

So generally, there’s lots of pining afoot... all of which sets the stage for Christmas! 🎄🎉

🎅 Pre-Christmas:

Sometime in the fall, Peter invites everyone to Jason’s house for Christmas, excited to have his whole family together for the holidays. Nebula, Drax, Groot, Rocket, Kraglin, and Cosmo plan to come, and even Mantis agrees to take a break from her travels to join.

Beforehand, they agree to do a Secret Santa gift exchange instead of getting individual gifts for everyone. They have a group Zoom call (or whatever the space-technology equivalent is) to anonymously assign who will get gifts for whom.

It’s meant to be a surprise, but Kraglin blows it when he excitedly shouts out "Yes!! I wanted Nebula!" after drawing her name. This immediately makes Peter jealous and suspicious. What is going on between Kraglin and Nebula back on Knowhere?! [Answer: Nothing, of course. This will pay off later...and I think Nebula deserves to have someone be jealous over her, after a lifetime being jealous of Gamora… 🙃]

As the holidays get closer, Peter also mentions to Nebula that since the Starks are basically her family (which he got to observe at Morgan’s birthday party), Pepper and Morgan are invited as well. He mentions that Gamora is welcome too, since she’s also Nebula's family, though he doubts she'd want to join. This makes Nebula a bit jealous, incorrectly assuming that Peter must not be over Gamora after all - and in fact, must be trying to use the Christmas party to finally win her over.

Now both of these idiots are both pining and jealous. Delicious 😂

🎁 Christmas Day:

In the early afternoon on Christmas Day, the Knowhere residents and Mantis arrive at Jason’s home, which, thanks to Peter, is decorated to the brim for the holidays. Peter excitedly welcomes them all inside, clearly loving the opportunity to help his grandparents host. Nebula almost immediately wants to die from cuteness as she watches Peter run around, helping his grandparents in the kitchen and making sure everyone is having a nice time, and generally being an adorable host.

Soon afterward, Pepper and Morgan, then Gamora (to everyone's surprise!) arrive. When everyone's settled, all the cute Christmas things commence: cookie decorating, a snowball fight with Morgan demanding to be on Nebula’s team, a big family meal, etc. Basically any cute Christmas things you can think of. The house is crammed full with all the guests, loud and chaotic and full of laughter and Christmas music blasting. At one point, Jason Quill excuses himself to the bathroom to cry a little bit, overwhelmed as he realizes how much his life has changed since last year’s quiet, lonely Christmas. 🥺

At some point, Kevin Bacon even shows up to join the festivities, since Mantis had invited him as a surprise. I love the idea that it becomes a tradition that the Guardians/Kevin Bacon always visit each other on Christmas, even if it’s just stopping by to say hi. This also probably causes another private emotional breakdown for Jason Quill: it's hard to fathom how compared with Christmas last year, not only is his long-lost grandson alive and back home, but his home is now packed with aliens and a famous movie star. Seriously, what is his life?

In fact, I'm sure at some point in the party, Jason gets so overwhelmed with joy and gratitude that he pulls Peter into a tight embrace, quietly crying into his hair. 🥺 Neither of them say anything - they both understand, and just hug each other, in awe of the fact that throughout all of the grief, loss, and years apart, they've found their way to this incredible new life and family together. Ugghhh I'm emotional thinking about it.

At one point during the afternoon, Peter mentions that once it’s dark outside, he wants to go for a drive to see the Christmas lights in the fancy neighborhood nearby; he’s heard it’s fun to see the big houses lit up. Everyone’s pretty noncommittal about it, but Nebula shrugs and says sure, she's in. Peter doesn't need to know that she'd literally watch paint dry if it was with him and was something that made him happy...

Speaking of which, throughout the entire afternoon, Peter has found himself subconsciously gravitating toward Nebula. They sit next to each other at the big Christmas dinner, constantly banter during the holiday group games, etc. Neither think much of it, since they’re both close friends and have missed spending time with each other - but almost everyone else notices. And Peter isn’t exactly a subtle person when it comes to his feelings.

One of those people is Gamora. She thinks back to her words from back on the Orgoscope, that the person best suited for Peter sounds more like her sister... She decides to corner Peter and bring it up at some point, walking up to him as he's washing dishes in the kitchen and blurting, “So, you and Nebula, huh?” Peter is flustered and tries to play dumb. But when Gamora won’t let it go, he admits in a low voice that maybe he has feelings for Nebula, but he can’t mess up their friendship. It’s too important to him - she is too important to him.

Gamora laughs at him, but also recognizes that he's clearly agitated about it all. Nebula must matter quite a lot to him. She decides to throw Peter a bone, saying that, "just in case it's helpful," she thinks her alternate self would probably be okay with this - she thinks other-Gamora would be happy to know that the people she loves the most would find happiness with each other. Because she can see Peter and Nebula clearly make each other happy. Peter is taken aback, but can't deny that he appreciates Gamora's words.

While they're talking, Nebula hears Gamora's laughter and turns to spot Peter and Gamora quietly talking in the kitchen. She can't stop the pang of disappointment and jealousy that rises up within her, again, and is immediately annoyed at herself. Of course this is what would happen. It’s fine. In fact, it’s what should happen. Even if she’d thought Peter accepting Gamora’s death and moving on was a good thing, this is better. It must be. After all, Nebula just wants Peter to be happy, and this will make him happy. She supposes that Peter and Gamora really are destined to be together, no matter what. Nebula sighs and tries to turn her attention back to the party.

But to Nebula's surprise, when Peter and Gamora end their conversation and leave the kitchen, there’s no real change in their behavior. They don’t spend extra time together, or flirt, or anything. It’s all very casual and fun-group-vibes between them. In fact, Peter instead almost immediately returns to hanging out by Nebula’s side, sitting next to her on the couch for present-opening and offering to get her a refill on eggnog at one point. Rocket notices and mockingly waves his mug at Peter: “And how come you’re not offering me more eggnog, too, Quill?” He enjoys watching how easily he can fluster Peter now, watching him immediately turn pink and bite out a retort - something about Nebula working hard to lead Knowhere and deserving a break at least for today - as he walks away with her mug.

For Nebula's part, she loves having Peter close and having his attention throughout the evening, but also tries to remind herself that it doesn’t actually mean anything. He's just a good friend, which she's grateful for.

When it’s time to open presents, everyone receives their wrapped Secret Santa gift and takes turns opening them up. Before they start, Nebula pulls out additional gifts for her invited guests - Morgan, Pepper, and Gamora - as well as a shared gift for Jason and Peter’s step-grandma, since none of them were part of the Guardians’ gift exchange. After Pepper exclaims, "Nebula, you didn't have to do this!" Nebula quietly mumbles that she didn’t want anyone to feel left out. Peter, of course, can hardly contain his adoration at seeing how thoughtful and considerate Nebula is. He already knew how much she'd changed and grown from the angry, bitter assassin he'd first met so many years ago - but sometimes, it still could take his breath away to stop and notice it.

Once it's Nebula’s turn to open her Secret Santa gift, it turns out to be a winter hat and necklace (referencing Kraglin's line in GOTG2: "I was talking about, like, a pretty necklace. Or a nice hat. You know. Something to make the other girls go "Ooh, that's nice." 😆) Nebula immediately bursts into surprised laughter, finally realizing why Kraglin was so excited to get her a gift. She can’t believe he remembered a throwaway line from nearly twelve years ago, essentially creating the longest-payoff joke ever. Peter is, of course, once again filled with jealousy watching the two of them laugh together, wishing more than anything that he’d been assigned to get Nebula’s gift. He would have gotten her something so much better than stupid Kraglin…

Later in the evening, after everyone is tired from all the festivities and food, Pepper says it’s time to get Morgan to bed. Kevin Bacon and Gamora say they’ll head out too. As they get coats on and head for the door, Nebula observes the goodbye between Peter and Gamora (trying not to make it obvious that she’s doing so) and, to her surprise, observes that it’s quite casual. Peter doesn’t seem broken up to say goodbye to Gamora at all. That’s…strange.

🎄 Christmas night:

After the non-Knowhere guests leave, everyone else finds their way to the couches to watch a Christmas movie (probably Elf because it’s my favorite 🥺). Once the movie ends, Peter jumps off the couch and excitedly asks who’s still up for driving around to see the Christmas lights, now that it’s sufficiently dark outside. Nebula nods and gets up, too.

However, over the evening, as more people observed Peter and Nebula dancing around each other, it became an unspoken agreement that no one else would join this nighttime drive and would instead give the two some time alone. So everyone shrugs off Peter's idea, saying they’re too tired and would rather stay in and watch another Christmas movie. Drax nearly messes it up, forgetting the plan and exclaiming, “Oh yes, I shall join you, in search of another little funny man to -” only to be shushed by Mantis and yanked back to the couch. Peter shrugs, “Whatever, your loss for all being lame.” He and Nebula start to get bundled up to go outside, with Nebula putting on her new winter hat, of course.

Starting here, Nebula and Peter’s late-night driving adventure follows the first verse of “You Are In Love” (which is such an amazing Starbula song 😭)...like basically word for word. So I recommend pausing to listen to it first lol.

They get into Peter’s car and decide to stop by a coffee shop drive-thru to get some festive drink for the road (again, cue the “YAIL” first verse 🤡). Peter and Nebula then have a magical time driving around and looking at the Christmas lights. A snowstorm begins at some point, adding to the lovely holiday vibes. Peter decides to park the car so they can walk around in the snowstorm, shoulders brushing as they look up at the lights and the snow gently falling around them. It’s basically Hallmark-movie perfect…and once again…cue the “YAIL” first verse lyrics 😆

And because I think it sounds adorable, at some point they both get hungry and can only find one local restaurant that’s open at midnight on Christmas. Maybe a Chinese place? Or a 24-hour diner?

For Nebula, this whole night is basically heaven. She’s never been on a date (nor does she expect to ever do so), and she knows this isn’t actually one, but still. It’s as close to a perfect night as she’s ever had: sitting in a cheap restaurant booth with the man she's in love with, laughing while they both try - and fail - to eat their Chinese food with chopsticks. No missions or responsibilities, no drunken Peter, no other Guardians around. Just the two of them having fun together. Is this what it’s like to be on a date with someone you love? Nebula wonders. She tries to cherish every moment, knowing she’ll likely never get this opportunity again.

Peter is feeling basically the same thing, except he does know what it’s like to go on a date with someone you love, and he knows that this feels like that. He wishes he could be brave enough to try to hold Nebula’s hand, or do something to hint at his feelings - but he can’t risk ruining this perfect night. So he keeps his feelings quiet, just enjoying time with the woman who, against all odds, has become his closest friend and the person he loves (and he does admit it to himself that night - that not only does he have feelings for Nebula, but he loves her. It’s both a scary and exhilarating realization).

Peter drives them back to Jason’s house around 1 am. Once inside, they find the living room empty, with a note on the table saying, “We headed back to Knowhere in Mantis’ ship. See you guys later. Merry Christmas.” The keys to the pod that the Knowhere crew had flown to get to earth (which was parked, invisible, on the Quill's front lawn) were left on top of the note for Nebula.

Peter exclaims, outraged: “Wait, they ditched us?! On Christmas?!" Nebula laughs and starts to say she can also get out of his hair and head back to Knowhere too, since it's late, but Peter interjects: “Wait, what about watching [some movie he'd told her about earlier in the day]?” Nebula doesn’t have to be told twice - if Peter wants her to stay and to continue hanging out, she’ll do it as long as she can. She hardly ever takes time off from running Knowhere, after all.

Peter grabs Nebula one of his t-shirts to change into, so they can both get comfortable on the couch for the movie. Which, yes, is another line from “YAIL." 🤣 Exhausted from the full day, they both end up falling asleep during the movie.

🎅 Post-Christmas morning:

When Jason walks into the living room the next morning, he gets a kick out of seeing these two losers sleeping next to each other on the couch. He internally makes a bet that they’ll be dating by the summer. (Little does he know that their mutual pining will continue for nearly another whole year, even after Peter finally gets his GED and moves back to Knowhere to help Nebula run the city.)

When Nebula wakes up, she’s embarrassed to have fallen asleep on the couch, assuming she's definitely overstayed her welcome by now, but Peter and his grandparents insist they’re glad she’s stayed over. They also insist that she stays for breakfast and to do some kind of post-Christmas family tradition. Maybe Peter's grandparents make some special day-after-Christmas breakfast every year, idk.

Nebula ends up staying through the afternoon, maybe even helping Peter study for his GED (even though she doesn’t know much more about earth than he does), and Peter's grandparents are totally charmed by her. This is nice foreshadowing for whenever Peter and Nebula finally get together, the four of them will have a lot of family time like this. :’)

When Nebula finally heads back to Knowhere that evening, she and Peter have an extremely drawn-out and awkward goodbye at the front door, neither wanting to end this time together. Peter’s grandparents get a kick out of observing it all, including how Peter longingly stares after Nebula as she gets into the invisible ship - and how he continues to stare at the sky, even though he can't see her fly away.

And over the next few weeks/months until they see each other again, whenever Peter and Nebula miss each other (which is often!), they both comfort themselves by remembering their magical Christmas in Missouri together. 🥺🥲

Soooooo there’s my Starbula-pining-filled headcanon about the first Christmas after GOTG3! Nothing groundbreaking here, but I really do think something like this would be realistic in post-GOTG3 canon. Like, how could Peter not invite his Knowhere family to celebrate Christmas with his grandparents? And since nothing will ever stop me from headcanoning that Peter eventually develops/realizes his feelings for Nebula after returning to earth, this additional Starbula stuff also fits right in.

Anyway, this scenario was very fun to imagine 🥰 And I hope it was fun to read!

#starbula #peter x nebula #quebula #headcanon #how does this ship inspire so many headcanons in me #it's kind of insane #buuuut i also love it #christmas #gotg #gotg vol 3

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friendly-books · 5 months

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Small Favor live blog

Small favor live blog

Happy Holidays!

Content warning: mind rape

Aw snowball fight with the Carpenters

I love this training

“The memory of my first shielding lesson under Justin DuMorne wasn’t a particularly sentimental one. “Baseballs”

“Mercifully God” Charity said, shaking her head. “How old were you?”

“Thirteen” I shrugged my shoulders. “Pain’s a good motivator. I learned fast.” pg. 15 That’s straight up child abuse

“Then Charity, standing behind me, dumped a double handfuls of snow down mother neck of my coat” pg. 18 Ha

“They weren’t terribly tall, maybe five-foot-six” pg. 19 I’m 5’6 thanks Harry maybe you’re just freakishly tall

Charity with a nail gun so cool

“They contacted me through Paranet, and I showed them how to give Fido the bum’s rush out of town.” pg. 31 Oh yay this is the thing Harry and Elaine were making.

“You look like a raccoon” pg. 35 Ha

Denarians in town or the rogue denarian from Proven Guilty.

Yes Marcone in this book! It’s always a good surprise when Marcone is in a book

Aw Toot-toot grown!

Pizza guard!

“Leave the doughnut!” pg. 67 Oh no

Mab make an entrance

Oh no Marcone got kidnapped. How did someone kidnap Marcone? Where are they keeping him? Why would someone kidnap him?

“Unless you should agree to take up the mantle of Winter Knight” pg. 81 Not yet Mab

“But I do know a little about horses, having taken care of my second mentor Ebenezar McCoy’s riding horses on his little farm in Missouri” pg. 89 Harry’s a horse girl

All this talk about Harry and the Winter Knight foreshadowing is foreboding

“The driver’s side-window rolled down and revealed a young man whom father of teenage girls would shoot on sight” pg. 104 Ha

“If they’re following the beacon, they’ll be running all over town” pg. 125 Ha

“I’m not terribly well motivated to bend over backwards to save John Marcone’s Armani-clad ass” pg. 127 Well Harry might not want to save Marcone but I can’t wait

No Harry bring Mouse

“He didn’t actually thank me, but it was his voice. I pretended that I hadn’t heard it there, which was what he expected me to do.

It’s a guy thing” pg. 138 That’s stupid

“Especially with the raccoon face I’ve got going on here.” pg. 143 Ha

Hendricks!

“I want to help your boss” pg. 152 It’s not lame. I love it

Oh no Gard :(

“Second, that a standard electrical pug was attached to the other end” pg. 161 The chain is like Elaine’s chain

“Without a word he set aside his shotgun and took the woman from me. I saw his eyes as he did, touched with worry and fear-and not for himself.” pg. 165 Hendricks/Gard ship let’s go I’ve made ships with less to go on

“Forzane” pg. 170 A force spell not a fire spell? Eh?

Thomas! Put the coin down

“Because,” I said, “maybe they went to recruit him.” pg. 184 Well Nick did offer Marcone a job back in Death Mask.

“Fu-“ I started to swear, but I glanced at Michael and changed it to “Fudgesiscles” pg. 189 Ha

“One of the most dangerous men I’ve ever known is about to have involuntary access to the knowledge and power of a Fallen angel, which would give the Denarians access to major influence within the United States. Not to mention the serious consequences for me if they succeed in making it happen” pg. 187 Interesting that this is Harry’s thoughts about Marcone taking up a coin. I wonder if he still thinks that now that Marcone’s taken up a coin.

“Michael caught Sayna’s hand on the way up, and pushed it gently back down” pg. 187 Ha

“This isn’t a democracy, Harry. We serve a king” pg. 187 Eh? I’m pretty sure this is a democracy Michael

“Transition: Don’t start another war, Harry” pg. 192 Ha and it’s only one war

“So instead you have placed your own life in jeopardy in order to protect his beliefs. You risk your body to preserve his heart.”

“I suppose he considers it a particularly messianic act.”

“That’s not why I did it” I said

“Of course it isn’t. He knows that. It isn’t easy for him. Usually he’s the one protecting another, willing to pay the price if he must” pg. 196 What’s some light treason to help your friends? And Harry is a good friend.

“We will watch over your criminals for you” pg. 202 Ha

So cool that Murph stood up to Tiny.

“War council?” Molly asked, wide-eyed. “Are we going to start another war?” pg. 226 Ha

“We might find a trail that leads back to the Nickelheads” pg. 232 Ha Nickelheads

“Someone highly placed enough to know the location of the safe house, and who will profit by Marcone’s absence” pg. 232 Helen maybe

“Nothing’s ever a convenient with you” pg. 234 Ha

“Hell’s bells. Do I really look like that? Maybe I needed a makeover or something” pg. 236 Aw Harry I’m sure you look nice, black eyes aside.

“I’m betting Marcone left her a sample of his hair to use to track him down, for just such an occasion as this” pg. 237 Smart

“I missed my staff. I missed my duster” pg. 243 No blasting rod? Eh?

“This isn’t over,” he said, a harsh edge in his voice. “We’ll discuss it after” pg. 262 Aw Michael and Harry are fighting :(

“Stop,” I said “Occam time” pg. 266 Ha

“I swear, by my own power, that I will abide by those restrictions” pg. 273 Oh Harry swore an oath to help Marcone.

“Can’t-get-a-date-itis. He’s supposed to be some kind of catalyst or conversion starter. Or failing that a consolation prize” pg. 276 Ha

“Grew up hard in the war, though that didn’t give them enough brains to keep from looking up to me.” pg. 279 Aw poor Harry :(

“The station’s lights went out. All of them. At exactly the same time.” pg. 280 Oh no

“Granted, He doesn’t always answer quite this quickly” pg. 289 Ha

“When things had gone dark and scary she had somehow rounded them up and gotten them into a room. That took a lot more moxie than most people had. I also noted that she had been kneeling between the customer and the doorway. I liked her already.” pg. 289 I also like Carol. I like that this shows that ordinary people can and do help others.

“I held up my right hand and with a murmur called a tiny sphere of flame. The spell sputtered and coughed before it coalesced, and even that the light was barely brighter than a candle” pg. 295 Something is up with Harry. He doesn’t mention his blasting rod and he doesn’t use any fire spells. It could be because Jim is using The Law of Conservation of Details but I don’t think so. Mind magic maybe? So that he doesn’t remember his fire or blasting rod. Like with Lea and Susan back in Grave Peril. But by who? Not a human practitioner or else the Wardens would come. Not Molly, she hasn’t shown up yet and she wouldn’t do that to Harry. Hmm Mab maybe but why would she do that? She’s not a human practitioner and she’s powerful enough to do it. I think she’s more powerful than Lea. But again why would she do that? She had time to do it when she was talking to Harry. But I’m stuck on the motive as to why Mab would do that when Harry is helping her. Wild guessing as there really aren’t any other suspects but Mab.

“You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!” pg. 298 Ha

So cool that Harry used the sprinkler system to wash away the Myrk.

“I don’t call him Fist of God as a pet name, folks” pg. 302 Ha

“Stupid, Harry. Stupid, Stupid” pg. 309 Stop being so self critical Harry. You need some more self confidence. Go read a self help book or something.

So cool that Harry used Gard’s locker to fight.

“Mercy? From a Winterbound?” pg. 312 Yep Harry’s cool like that.

“I’m not bound” I snapped “This is purely temp work” pg. 312 More foreshadowing for Harry.

Kincaid and Ivy! This book got better!

“Maybe it was just my imagination that it took Michael a second longer to answer than in the past” pg. 320 Aw :( I don’t like that Harry and Michael are fighting.

“But was prevented from going father by Kincaid hand” pg. 332 Let Ivy pet Mouse

Just Luccio taking a bath by the fire in someone else’s house as you do.

“The last thing I noticed, before I dropped off, was that under all the blankets I was entirely undressed.

And I was clean” pg. 335 Who undressed Harry and cleaned him? Luccio?

“Thomas gave me a look of his own. Then he thwapped me gently upside the head” pg. 339 Ha

“What does a woman need to do, Harry? Rip her clothes off, throw herself on top of you, and shimmy while screaming ‘Do me Baby!’?” pg. 340 Ha and knowing Harry it could help but more likely Harry would think that the woman would be cursed.

In defense of Harry I also didn’t know that Luccio was flirting with Harry. And Luccio needs to be more direct with Harry. He’s oblivious and dense. Susan was the one to ask Harry out back in Storm Front.

“I’ve never been hit on by a woman a hundred and fifty years older than me” pg. 340 Ha and what about Lara?

“Moran. Thank God Nicodemus is a man” pg. 341 Ha and with my reading of Bi Harry I won’t be too relieved there.

“Tiny” Sanya rumbled to Michael, clenching a demonstration fist “But fierce” pg. 346 Ha

Part 2

“The wind caught my coat and the cloak both, and almost knocked me over until I gathered in close to my body again and under control. Hendricks, solid and huge in his dark, sensible London Fog winter coat, went by me with a small smile on his face.” pg. 353 Ha and glad even Hendricks is amused by Harry.

“She can’t be here” pg. 355 I thought things ended well between Kincaid and Murphy back in Hawaii?

“She was watching two otters chase each other around the habitat, and smiling.” pg. 357 Aw :)

“Kincaid stopped in his tracks when he saw that. Just to see what he’d do, I tried to step past him. He shot me a look like he’d murder me if I tried to interrupt her, and my opinion of him went up a notch.” pg. 357 Aw :)

“He had a good voice, mellow and surprisingly deep” pg. 361 Bi Harry 29 I think I mean I hope not because it’s Nicodemus and Harry would have horrible taste in men.

“Archive guarantee his neutrality” pg. 362 Wow Nicky just assumes the police officer is a man. That’s a bit sexist. First Nicky was racist now sexist get with the times man.

“He was a man of medium height and build, his features handsome, strong, his eyes dark and intelligent.” pg. 363 Bi Harry 30 Harry what did I just say? Absolutely terrible taste in men. I see he and his mother have similar tastes. Harry has a type ie older scary men with silvery hair. Silver fox if you will.

“Sans demolition, if you think you can refrain.” pg. 363 Ha and no Harry can’t refrain from causing property damage.

“Nicodemus let out another quiet, charming laugh.” pg. 365 Bi Harry 31

“And you offer such insolence regardless?”

“Habit,” I said “It doesn’t make you special or anything, believe me” pg. 367 Ha

“Nicodemus.

Blinked.” pg. 369 Oh Nicodemus didn’t know. We have a rogue Denarius on our hands

“I glared up at him and debated slamming him through one of those Corinthian columns by way of objecting to be manhandled. But I decided that I didn’t want to piss him off.” pg. 369 Ha

“At least it has some survival instincts” pg. 370 Ha and Harry has no survival instincts

“Kincaid, get the kid out of here!” I screamed. “They’re coming for Ivy” pg. 373 Oh no if they hurt Ivy I demand there blood

“I guess it came down to a single question: whether or not I was the kind of man who walks away when he knows a little kid is in danger” pg. 378 No Harry isn’t that kind of man

“The thorny Denarian” Thorned Namshied

“…and he just ate my spell.” pg. 380 Ha and I wonder if Marcone can do that now?

I’m worried about the animals they can’t run away

“While the Archive would know that the proper decision would be to allow Kincaid to die in order to protect the sanctity of the Archive, Ivy wouldn’t be making the decision with the same detached calm. Kincaid was the closest thing she had to family. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t.” pg. 396 Aw and Harry she cares about you too. You Named her and I think she considers you a friend.

“I wish I knew,” I panted. “That way I could exercise free will while telling you to go fuck yourself” pg. 401 Ha

“I hadn’t extended my line of thinking beyond Kincaid. But of all the people who had dealt with the Archive, I’d been one of the only ones to take any interest in her as anything but a font of knowledge. I’d been the one to inquire after her personality. I’d been the one to give her a name. Sad but true, I was the closest thing that little girl had to a friend.

She couldn’t have let anything happen to me, either.” pg. 403 While I love that Ivy considers Harry a friend this isn’t a great time for this.

“I could use charts to make it easier for you to understand. And color them in with crayons. I enjoy crayons.” pg. 405 Aw baby’s first attempt at sassing the enemy

“I wasn’t certain but it sounded like the kid was trying to give the bad guys some gruff on my behalf. She needed to work on her technique, but it was the thought that counted. If I could have breathe, I might have gotten a little choked up.” pg. 406 Aw :) I’m so proud of Ivy. I’m glad she has a friend in Harry.

Oh no they took Ivy :(

“Michael had some serious pecs.” pg. 423 Bi Harry 32

“Never mind Michael’s pecs. Sanya made us both look like we needed to eat more wheat germ” pg. 424 Bi Harry 33

“Jared. Huh.” pg. 424 Kincaid first name is Jared really?

“She doesn’t have anybody else. No one” pg. 424 Aw :(

“And we fought them. That war could end. It could all be over” pg. 428 No unfortunately not

“Molly once burned my egg. My boiled egg. I don’t know how.” pg. 432 Ha

“You’re a creature of habit, Harry. You don’t like change” pg. 435 Yep

“So how they gonna get that creepy little girl a coin? Or one for the boss?” pg. 436 Good idea Cujo but rude for calling Ivy a creepy little girl.

“Molly was committing dinner by that time, aided and abetted by Sanya, who was taking who seemed to take some kind of Russian delight in watching the train wrecks in progress.” pg. 439 Ha

“Ivy,

You are not alone.

Kincaid is alive. I’m all right. We’re coming after you.

Don’t listen to them. Hang on.

We’re coming.

You are not alone.

Harry” pg. 444 Aw I love this bit so much.

“You know me, Michael. I’m always careful.” pg. 447 Ha

“What” he said in a low, deadly tone, “is that?” pg. 449 Oh Nicky is scared of Mouse

“It’s been a little while since anyone was quite that insolvent to my face.” pg. 450 I’m pretty sure the last person was also Harry back in Death Mask.

“Do you always retreat into insouciance when you are frightened, Dresden?” pg. 450 Ha and yes he does

Nicky is a terrible boss. He doesn’t even remember Rasmussen.

“After all those years of baseless suspicion and hostility from your own Council, that must be a painful realization.” pg. 453 Aw :(

“The Council doesn’t need my help to be a bunch of tools.” pg. 454 Ha

Harry being incredibly melodramatic with Michael.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you!” pg. 462 Aw :(

“I don’t share everything with you,” I retorted. “I don’t share everything with anyone. That’s nothing new.” pg. 462 Harry you should talk to your friends.

“Because in thousand years, no one has rid themselves of the shadow of one of the Fallen” pg. 463 So cool that Harry was the first person to rid themselves of a shadow of the Fallen. Sad that it meant that Lash died.

“Have I suddenly gone crazy on you?”

He arched an eyebrow

“More so than usual” pg. 465 Ha

“Harry,” he said quietly, “what happened to your blasting rod?” pg. 465 Oh good someone else is worried about Harry and his blasting rod

“Someone had been in my head

Someone had been in my head

Oh God” pg. 466 Oh no this is just like when Murphy was mind raped back in Grave Peril with the Nightmare.

Harry isn’t having a good time.

So Molly looked around in Harry’s head

“You aren’t the sort of person to do things by halves, Harry. Grand gestures included.” pg. 469 Ha

“In the event that you haven’t figured it out, I’m not the kind of person to be casually involved in much of anything” pg. 473 Yep

“Dresden, it seems to me that you’d lock yourself up pretty tight if someone took a regular bullet for you with a regular body. Much less if you were under psychic attack and this imaginary friend died right inside your own brain. Something like that happens, shouldn’t you have expected to be a basket case, at least for a little while.” pg. 476 Yep Harry loves his friends and having someone die for you will leave a mark.

“You remember when Karvos struck his fingers in my brain?” pg. 475 I see Murphy is drawing parallels away from well.

Not the biggest fan of this Luccio/Harry ship aren’t they subordinate and boss?

“You might be able to empower such a circle for half an hour, Dresden.” pg. 483 I’m glad Luccio knows that Harry is powerful

“I was going to put the dinosaur back,” I said. “But I was unconscious” pg. 485 Ha

They have Ivy at Deamonreach? How’d they get there and not get booted off?

“You couldn’t spot a pop culture reference if it skittered up and implanted an embryo down your esophagus.” pg. 503 Ha and is this why Harry makes so many pop culture shout outs?

“The creepy part was that it felt familiar.” pg. 515 Creepy maybe the island knew that Harry was going to be the next warden of the island.

Poor Ivy :(

Why doesn’t Ivy have clothes? Never mind, I don't want to know.

“I’d made that mistake once already, on a stormy night much like this one” pg. 522 Yep Grave Peril parallels

“Gentleman Johnnie Marcone” pg. 525 Is this a spelling error or is Harry being Harry?

“Something had ripped off the top half of his left ear.” pg. 525 That makes a very cool picture of Marcone

“Insufferable, arrogant little monkey,” Namshiel hissed. “Playing with the fires of creation. Binding your soul to it, as if you were one of us. How dare you so presume. How dare you wield soulfire against me. I, who was there when your pathetic kind was hewn from the muck.” pg. 533 I take it Namshiel isn’t happy that Harry has soulfire.

“I glared at him. He returned the glare with a faint, knowing smile.” pg. 536 Ha

“Ride of the Valkyries” pg. 541 Yay Gard to the rescue.

“He shook his head and pointed his fingers at Ivy” pg. 542 Yay

Part 3

Oh no Michael

“A bar of blue-white fire so dense that it was nearly a solid object lashed across the distance from me and Tessa and slammed into her like an enormous spear.” pg. 547 So cool. Don’t mess with Harry’s friends

“I find myself largely clueless about why mortal women do what they do. It will take a wiser man than me to understand what’s in a fae women’s mind.” pg. 557 Ha

“They tell children stories about you guys, you know,” I said.

“Still?” He said

I nodded” pg. 558 Aw :)

“We hear tales of thee, young wizard.”

I blinked. “You, uh?”

“We too like stories about…” His eyes searched his memory for a moment before he smiled, pleased. The gesture looked pleasantly nonviolent on his face.

“Underdogs” pg. 558 So cool that the fae tell stories of Harry.

“I want you,” I said “to get me a doughnut. A real, genuine, Chicago doughnut. Not some glamorous doughnut. An actual one. Freshly made.”

“Nay, but prithee, with sprinkles ‘pon it instead,” I said solemnly “and frosting of white.” pg. 560 Ha

“Harry Dresden speechless,” Nicodemus said. “I can’t imagine this happens every day.” pg. 564 Ha

“It’s gone!” pg. 565 Oh no the coins are gone.

“Deceitful bitches” pg. 565 :0 I was not expecting that kind of language from Nicodemus.

“Please. No one so obstreperous has been corrupted by anything other than his own pure muleheadedess.” pg. 567 Ha

“Lasciel’s shadow,” I told him, “doesn’t live here anymore, The Fallen have no power over me. And neither do you” pg. 568 So cool

“In fact, I squeezed harder” pg. 570 Good

Drat Nicodemus is still alive. Better luck next time. Third time the charm.

“I was wearing fresh clothing too. Thomas. He didn’t say anything about it, and neither did I. It’s a brother thing.” pg. 582 Aw :) Yay!

“His heart. They hurt his hurt.” pg. 586 Aw :( Poor Molly

“Families stay, Harry” pg. 587 Aw :)

“Given what he’d been saved from, it would be consistent with his character for Marcone to repay the people who bailed him out with whatever aid he could render in turn. It irked me that Marcone could ever be in a position to offer significant aid to Michael, regardless of circumstances.” pg. 590 Yep Marcone is cool like that

So Harry meets Uriel. I think God likes Harry despite Harry’s thoughts.

“You will not. I do not belong to you-“ pg. 598 Not yet

What made Mab so mad?

I take it the White Council would be mad if they find out and Bob.

“I get it,” I said. “You don’t think I should get close to her. Unless you’re worried about what’s going to happen when you wake her up and she’s really scared and confused.” pg. 608 Hypocritical much

“They did things to me,” she said

“I know,” I said quietly “Been there. But I was all right after a while. You’re going to be alright. It’s over.” pg. 609 Don’t like those implications with Harry and Ivy experiencing the same thing and using the same words. Add to it that Ivy was naked upon rescue doesn’t help.

“Couldn’t find its heart if it had a copy of Gray’s Anatomy, X-ray vision, and a stethoscope,” I said “No. They can lay down the law about magic. But they aren’t telling me who I’m allowed to befriend.” pg. 609 That’s a little cult like. The White Council can’t tell people who they can or can’t befriend.

“Morgan told them you’d say that. So did McCoy and Listen-to-Wind. The Merlin wouldn’t hear it.” pg. 609 Morgan! He knows enough about Harry to know that Harry wouldn’t go for it.

I’m glad Harry hugged Ivy and that she got his letter. Ivy needs a support system.

“He has a teddy Glock.” pg. 610 Ha

I’m glad Murph is also concerned about Luccio and Harry.

“Marcone. I’ll look into it.” pg. 614 Harry knew already that Marcone took the coin?

“I don’t have it,” Marcone said.” pg. 616 Either Marcone is lying outright or using exact words. Hmmm

“The child” Marcone said “Is she well?” pg. 617 Aw :) I hope Ivy and Marcone talk to each other after this.

“Then you should get some rest,” Marcone said. “You look”-his mouth twitched up at the connors-”like a raccoon. Who has been run over by a locomotive.” pg. 617 Ha

“A lot of men talk to the women they sleep with,” I said “That’s always been true. And it would give you a really good reason to get close to him”

“He’s like a lot of men,” pg. 618 I can’t picture Marcone doing this. Also I can’t believe I was right about Helen being the leak.

“Oh that.” Anastasia said. “Your Sight’s coming in. That’s all.” pg. 622 Oh cool!

Final thoughts

As always I liked the fights and thought the book was funny. Bi Harry moments up to 33. I question Harry’s taste in men. What I’d like to see is Ivy and Harry interacting more. Maybe play dates with Ivy and Maggie. I think it’s cool that Harry got Soulfire. I’m glad Harry and Michael are friends again. I wish we got more Marcone in this book. I’m surprised I was right about mind magic and Mab. And with Helen and the safe house. Not a fan of this Harry/Luccio ship. The White Council continues to be the absolute worst. They can’t tell their members who they can and can’t befriend that ridiculous. The fact that Harry and Thomas have to pretend not to be brothers and not interact much because the White Council will use them is terrible. It’s also a little cult-like. They do similar things to them and I could probably use the Bite model to show that they’re cult-like. Nicodemus is definitely scared of Harry now that Harry’s strangled him twice now. As for Executive Priority Health, why would Marcone buy the old Velvet place? As for Harry I wouldn’t want to be within 100 yards of the place but Harry seems ok? With going in.

Mind rape

Now onto Harry and the mind rape. As with Murphy back in Grave Peril this is essentially rape. Harry’s reaction is full on breakdown. While it’s similar to his reaction in Grave Peril it’s different in that Micheal is there to help and he isn’t in a laundry room. I wonder if Harry will have similar actions to paranoia and insomnia. I continue to wish Harry gets therapy. Maybe one of the small practitioners in the Paranet is a therapist. There was some parallels to Death Mask in this book with the mind rape and sacrad hospitality. Could Jim stop hurting Harry please.

Marcone

Now I know Marcone has the coin. Whether he accepted the coin yet is another. I can’t imagine what he went through with torture and hurting Ivy. Do you think he was reminded of Amanda and that’s why he took the coin. Surly Gard told him about the Fallen. He wouldn’t pick up the coin unless he knew what he was doing. I can’t picture him saying anything about his safe house to Helen. And I don’t see Marcone killing Helen. That would make Amanda an orphan. Maybe the guilt is making him do things he wouldn’t normally do.

Onto the next book!

#dresden files #harry dresden is bi #Small favor #battle ground spoilers

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fuckyeah-dragrace · 6 months

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lil drabble about Going on an adventure!!! or making pizza.

sounds perfect!! and in honor of the great @snowflakenali birthday, have some dayasco!

Happy thanksgiving and I wanted to say that I am incredibly grateful to be a part of this community and get to know all of you lovely people so, have a great day today and hug the ones you love close 💕💕

Daya and Bosco were packed into their small Toyota, music quietly playing on the radio as they drove down the road to for the holidays.

Daya was typing on her phone, peaking her head up every once in a while to looks over at Bosco as they stayed focused on the road. The food they made was packed away in the backseat, Mac and cheese and pizza dinner rolls as they were 1, easy and 2, the only things their friends were confident they wouldn’t end up burning.

Bosco reached over and squeezed Dayas hand, knowing she was getting antsy. “We just have one more hour, baby. Then we’ll be there and get to eat.”

“We’ve been in here forever though.” The tall girl grumbled, happily taking her girlfriends hand in her pouting. “And I’m getting hungry cause it smells really good in here.

“I know.” They chuckled, taking her and and kissing her knuckles. “The second we get there I’ll make you a plate.”

“Thank you.” Daya smiled, playing with the rings on their fingers. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Silence settled around them as the car turned down a wooded road, trees and a variety of colorful leaves filling their windows. It was beautiful and Daya watched them go by ad they got close and closer to Angerias.

“What was that song about the woods we learned around thanksgiving?” She asked after a moment, looking over at her girlfriend.

“Uh I’m not sure what you’re talking about baby.”

“It was about like driving through woods and rivers… oh! Over the river and through the woods to grandmothers house we go!” Daya grinned, remembering the tune and singing the first few lines.

“That might just be a Missouri thing because I have never heard that.” Bosco laughed, smiling at her cute singing even though Daya always said it was awful.

“It feels like that song right now.” She giggled, curling up in her seat to be facing them better. “Cause yknow were doing that thing.”

“Driving?”

“No but it’s like a gay thing.”

“Going to a Friendsgiving?” They raised a brow before they both burst into laughter and giggles. They laughed until their cheeks were rosy and hurting from their smiling. This is what they wanted for the holidays, being together with their love and having a great time with them.

Bosco reached over and took Dayas hand again, kissing her fingers. “I love you, baby. I’m so thankful we get to be together.”

“Aw baby,” Daya cooed, kissing Boscos hand back and squeezing tight. “I’m thankful to be with you too. You’re the greatest thing ever in my life. Love you so much.”

Their hands stayed intertwined and they laughed some more, enjoying each others company in the comfort of their car and then in their friends home, surrounded by people they loved and knowing they couldn’t imagine anywhere else to be.

#for sweetlikesunflowersandhoney #prompt!#also happy birthday snow!!#dayasco #daya betty #bosco

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klaudia2646 · 2 years

Text

I went to Jefferson City Missouri last weekend. Left on Friday after work while we had horrible weather. I was going to take the fastest way but there were bad thunderstorms so I went another way which took me longer because it was mostly one lane each way. It rained but it was not as bad. It did take longer and of course there’s always an idiot who doesn’t pay attention and almost kills you.

Sophie was going to try wedding dresses and I was lucky to be included. She had two appointments one in the morning and one in the afternoon in Columbia Missouri. The dress shown in the picture is not the one she chose. She chose the very last dress which was not one of the dresses she had in mind and it was gorgeous.

I can certainly say that both Jefferson City and Columbia were nice cities but the people were not very nice. I like it better here in Iowa.

Today and tomorrow are the last “warmer” days. It looks like 40f is the new warm weather in the next several months. At least I don’t see any snow in the near future.

People are so nice where I work. I’m so happy here. I also found out that I have Black Friday off and we’ll be close starting December 20 for the holidays. Coming back January 2nd.

#11/9/22 #11:12 am #67f and cloudy

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psychoticwillgraham · 1 year

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we’re only getting up to 4 inches of snow now (I think? but some models are saying 6+ again 😒 so who the fuck knows tbh) but that’s not what everyone is sounding the alarm about. it’s about the 50mph+ wind gusts, the -35 and very possibly lower wind chills, resulting prolonged power outages, car accidents as a result of whiteout conditions, and flash freezing on the roads combined with the heavy holiday traveling going on right now. and that’s what’s scaring the fuck out of me to be honest.

i know mom and I will be fine because she’s gotten through stuff similar to this back when she lived in Indiana in college, and I lived through a 2ft+ of snow blizzard when I was a teenager and one previous extended sub zero temperature period of days (that was bad but not with winds this high or snow added or a chance of flash freezing), but I’m still terrified because now we’re on our own and my sister won’t be able to get to us because she lives 15 minutes away in a different town and she can’t see very well at all due to a diabetic complication, so yeah she won’t be able to drive in those conditions.

normally I don’t believe in the hype around storms in general, especially for winter storms because it’s Missouri yknow? I should be used to this since I’ve lived here for like 99.9% of my life so far, but this is definitely unusual and of course I’m gonna take this shit seriously. i think mom thinks im taking way it too seriously and obsessing over every little detail of preparedness, but I’d rather be way overprepared then underprepared or not prepared at all yknow? sometimes the crazy, raving mad paranoid person is actually right for once lol

#everyone’s making it sound apocalyptic at least around here #I don’t think it’s gonna be THAT bad tbh #but the cold is a problem for me bc my new antipsychotic med #throws my temperature regulation way off so I’m extremely sensitive #to every temperature drop/rise but the drop is the problem right now #and it’s already been a major problem and it’s not even sub zero temps yet until tomorrow #and if the power goes out? yeah that’s gonna be a big issue for not only me but my mom too #bc she needs her c-pap or however you spell it at night bc of her sleep apnea

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sensitivebro · 2 years

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Posting here because I don’t want to lose this memory and I also don’t want to blast my life on social media. So this platform seems safer for my true self to be seen and saved for me to look back on.

Worlds of Fun. Halloween Haunt. 👻

Kansas City, Missouri. - October 2022

Robby Robby Robby….

So much to say about this man. We have tried this a handful of times throughout our lives. Starting when we were only in 5th/6th grade. Again in college while I was at OSU. And continued when I moved back to Tulsa and he moved in with me. Our break up was hard on that one. Completely my fault because I couldn’t control my emotions. I grew a TON as a person because of that terrible night. I started a fight for no reason and it was a bad one. After that break up, we didn’t meet up on holidays anymore like we used too. We quit talking at all. I dated Skylar and Eric for years. Probably about 8 years all together of not speaking to Robby. I blocked him out of my life all together because it killed me so much to lose him. He was my first love ever. My deepest love ever. He was my everything. I did and still do love literally everything about him. So I swore him off completely in order to heal and move on. Now we are here. 2022. We are both 31 years old. We both own our own homes. Neither have children nor were married in this time apart. We picked up effortlessly. He reached out to me on Instagram and we talked and he invited me over to his house that night. I came over and we haven’t stopped talking ever since. (I just broke up with an abusive 5 year relationship and had been single for about 4 or 5 months… then talked to Robby and have been for about 3-4 months now.) He says he wants to go slow. Which I’m not entirely sure what he believes slow to be exactly. But I’m just following any leads he gives me. We hook up regularly and kiss and hold hands and snuggle constantly. -all by his request I might add- We know each other better then we know ourselves. He’s so kind and so loving. So giving in every sense of the word. My cards have always been out on the table about how I feel about him. He likes me back but not as intense as I do. Which is fine because I’m out of the ballpark with my feelings haha. He does like me a lot though and feels very very comfortable around me. I’m like a best friend that he also likes to fuck and grab ass lol. Anyway… all of this to say… being where we are in life… 30.. I am very happy to be around him. I hope to have a real future together and if that doesn’t work out, the heart break will be worth it. Just being around him makes me so happy. Viewing life thru his eyes is necessary and life changing for the better and I hope to never lose that. He deserves the world and I want to give it to him. I just hope he always lets me.

We have said it years ago but not yet on this go around but he knows it…. I love him. ❤️

#personal #robby

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popentertainment-interviews · 2 years

Photo

Dolly Ave

This is Her Time

by Kayla Marra

Dolly Ave is a Vietnamese American singer/songwriter from Missouri. She got her start in the industry as a photographer but has been writing songs for years and years. Dolly’s newest single “This is Our Time” is an empowering pop anthem that touches on the topics of coming-of-age, speaking and living your truth, and taking risks.

We recently sat down with Dolly to chat about her single, her inspirations, her writing process, and even an upcoming album.

Could you introduce yourself to our viewers and tell us a bit about yourself?

I’m an upcoming Vietnamese American artist and I have a new album coming out next year, early. It’s going to be eleven songs and it's a coming-of-age Indie album. I've been making music for about two years now, so I'm still pretty fresh at it and discovering my sound. I'm just excited to be here!

We’re so excited to have you! Congratulations on the release of “This Is Our Time” on the 17th! Could you tell us a bit about the song and what it means to you?

The last EP was seven songs, and it was centered around heartbreak. I was in a more somber soundscape, so coming into the new chapter of my life I wanted to make an empowering track that was more positive and energetic, and a song that I could perform live. The reason why I wrote the song and wrote this album of coming of age and my youth was that in the middle of the pandemic I had lost my mom, so it was my way of empowering myself after a grieving period.

I'm so sorry to hear that, but that's great that you had a positive outlook on the situation and had this creative way to help you through it. What is one lyric from “This Is Our Time” that you think encompasses the meaning?

Wow, that's a great question. I think my favorite lyric is “Life is better shared.” When I get to that part of the song, I got really really connected with whoever I'm saying two or what I'm saying about because life is scary and things are scary when they are uncertain, but it is still better to share with somebody at the end of the day.

Can you walk us through your writing process?

Before I became a singer, I was a photographer. I would usually write words in general so Now when I go into a session, I'm just singing the melody and then writing to it, and it goes back and forth and here and there. I would usually say I think of a word that I feel responsive to. For instance, this one was time, and I wrote a whole melody around it. Yeah, I would say words first.

I heard that this is the lead single for an upcoming album, what can you tell us about that?

Every song is different. It has a lot of pop-punk elements, there are some songs that are more Indie soundscape, and I'm experimenting with a lot of different instruments and festival sounds. The other songs are all very different and it's just so exciting. I would say to expect a lot of dancing, jumping around, and wanting to scream.

How do you choose what will be a lead single?

That's a difficult process, honestly. You know, it takes a lot of mental decision-making because you have to think about what the audience likes, what represents me, and will they be excited about it, am I excited about it? Then you go on this psychological back and forth kind of “I don't know, maybe this is not representative of me” but then it's like “oh well, that's the album.” For this one, it was in the title. I needed something that just said everything about the album but also about my journey.

If you had to pick a color that best represents “This Is Our Time” or the album as a whole, which would you choose?

I think red and orange because it's very bright and intense. Yeah, intense is a good word. I'm very excited to share the rest of the album.

Who would you say are some of your biggest influences or inspirations?

I have various degrees of influences from the Beatles to Billie Holiday to FKA Twigs. Yeah, I listen to everything honestly, even to Paramore.

We can definitely hear all of your influences in your song which is cool. But then again, you're also your own unique artist which is super cool to see. What is the best advice you’ve been given?

I think the best advice I've ever gotten is to be at peace with yourself. At every step of the journey, I feel like there's a lot of noise in terms of, okay, this is what success looks like and this is what you should be doing at this age. I think when you live your truth and you're happy with yourself, you're just going to have a greater outcome in life.

Do you have anything you’d like to say to your fans and supporters?

I would just like to say that I'm excited to share this new music. It's different, it's fun, and it has a more mainstream appeal in a sense. I'm more excited for people to learn more about my story coming from Missouri and hearing a new sound.

Check out Dolly Ave’s newest single “This is Our Time” streaming on all platforms now, and make sure to listen to her upcoming single “Sit Still,” releasing on November 14th!

youtube

#Dolly Ave #2022 #Music Interviews #This Is Our Time #Kayla Marra

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sslutwithnutss · 2 years

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I’ve come to goddamndest conclusion. Tumblr is for dudes. Just about every single woman on here is trying to convince you either by dope from them or pussy but in all reality they’re just scammers. That’s like REBLOG this and I’ll put nudes in your DM. How many times did you hear that lie I’ve been doing it for fucking years and none of them have sent even one titty or even one big fucking toe. I don’t pay for pussy and I don’t send my money to somebody that I’ve never met to buy dope. There are women out here that are just as horny as you are just a beautiful or more beautiful and then these hoes are on here trying to sell everything. Oh yeah it might cost you a dinner it might cost you some beer it might cost you a bag of dog but guess what it end of it all they’re there to get a nut just like you. These girls on here that are selling their pussy were convinced by their daddy‘s or their uncles who fucked them to death that they should sell their shit. I like free pussy I like dope that I can walk up to the man look him dead his eyes I know where he lives I know where he’s at if it’s bad shit I’m going to get back to him if he fucks me over I’m going to go get a crew and run up in his house. I tried five fucking times to buy from ONLINE PLUG guess what all 5 of them 1 got me the other four I will add the same pattern it’s like verbatim. Do they have a handbook that they go by? Anyways one got me for a Walmart gift card the rest of them can eat a bag of baby dicks. So they’re always want to know about our experiences on Tumblr well besides women bartering pussy I get blocked every time and the ONLINE PLUG is trying to get me for my money I’d say yeah it’s been a pretty shitty experience. Five years ago women around here trying to fuck they weren’t trying to sell fake pussy or whatever it is. You really wanna know what it is it’s some sandneeger using a bunch of prank fake profiles tricking you in the dumbest shit the funny thing is when you talk to them when they text you their English is fucked up. You claim you’re from Missouri or Indiana but you don’t know how to speak proper English bullshit. Hope everyone has a wonderful Fourth of July I bought mine nope I’m gonna have for tomorrow from the white trash motherfucker down the road that I’ve known by entire life. I have five bitches that are trying to fucking give me the pussy right now. And they don’t wanna dime in fact they both offering to bring dope and beer and food whenever I want. I believe I’m gonna go out and go DoorDash. You all have a wonderful and safe holiday. REMEMBER GIRLS, OR PUNK ASS COWARD ASS FUCKTARDS NOT EVERY MAN IS DESPERATE. YOUR FEGGIT(sp) ass is desperate. You want my shit? Come take it from my hands ho! White power white privilege⚡️⚡️

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kcirishlad · 2 years

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Well I've been taking advantage of my Juneteenth Holiday Weekend (Monday Federal Holiday! Thank You President Brandon). I've been across the Cities & back again today. Ate a Bagel & smear @Panera. Mushughana Bagel's closed?. Then on 2 Habitat ReStore, Suburban Lawn & Garden on Roe & 435 (I was tempted to buy this fountain). Sketchers Outlet (might as well say store cause there weren't no bargains folks) on 119th & Metcalf. Containers & More, 10,000 Villages in old OPKS, Fritz' Chili on 75th is Closed for good, Don Chilito's in Merriam is Closed for good, Went on 2 IKEA, stopped @ HenHouse in Merriam but no Store Made Jalapeno Artichoke Dip/Spread, Better Cheddar, Pryde's in Westport, World Market, Joe's KC for some Brisket to go, Planters in City Market for some spices,, Cucumbers from a Vendor too, then on to In-a-Tub for lunch. Big Lots, Kohl's, Target', JCPenney, $5 & Up Store, $1 Store, home for a nap, Sutherland Lumber, then Joy Wok Asian (Chinese) Buffet for Dinner. Whew! rested unpacked today's booty then sprayed on the OFF to keep the Skeeter's at bay, watered my new grass in front and finished my 2nd Bird Feeder project for the Dead People Stuff Bird Feeder I got @ Savers for $2 and the original Bird feeder that needed some work. Drove the new post in the ground, hung the feeders full of Birdseed and that's done, planted 4 more Bugleweed plants for the Sidewalk strip next to the street where grass won't grow and now I'm relaxing with a box fan out here in the breezy decent evening with a box fan also on high keeping me extra cool outside tonight. Ohhh did I mention I fixed myself a Bourbon & Diet Coke 52 Oz style in the QT Cup? Well there you have it HAPPY JUNETEENTH WEEKEND YA'LL!😀 (at Liberty, Missouri) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce-MTpbOex4phR1M3VzfDxA4RhO9N7m0RoCRA80/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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immersed-in-mischief · 3 years

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Something Good (Tom Hiddleston x Female Reader) Part 40

Summary: After a kiss with Tom leads to more, you stop things just as they get really heated. Even though the two of you talk things out once you calmed down, there are still insecurities on both sides. Now in Fiji a few weeks later, filming is soon to wrap up and you make a discovery in regards to your feelings towards him.

Read the previous parts here

Mischief makers: @ruiningthe1975 @nms224 @youlightmeupfinn @salempoe @lokiprompts @oasiswithmyg @saltandapepper @chwlogy @locht3ssmonster @mad4marvelloki @sititran @dryyoursaltyoceantears @ca-loki @nurisiliel @thankyouforanonymity @tgaylorxoxo @ordinarylokix @1marvelnerd3000 @queenofallhobos @marvelgirl0515 @augusta-imperatrix @deanaddicted2 @geekwritersworld @donttouchmylaevateinn @rogerrhqpsody @artof-aristocracy @vampire7595 @naturalavenger @dangertoozmanykids101 @nicole-lightfoot @mm2305 @lokistoriesblog @rosec0lored @lokiswildheartcantbebroken @morganmofresh @lienoec @christineblood @asgardianprincess1050

As he opened the door to the condo, the sound of your laughter echoed through the living room. Putting his stuff down in his room first, he made his way into the kitchen to grab a drink before joining you. It was early afternoon on Friday, so he knew exactly who you were on the phone with right now, as if the return of the southern drawl didn’t give it away. Most days you joined him on set, but Friday mornings were reserved for weekly calls with you mother.

Tom leaned down and kissed your forehead and giving you a quick smile before stretching out on the other side of the large L shaped sofa. You had opened the large sliding glass doors that essentially functioned as a wall of windows with curtains for privacy at night but opened to let a breeze through the beach front apartment during the day. The weather in Fiji was incredible. He wouldn’t mind coming back when he didn’t have to spend most of his time working.

Hearing you wrap up your conversation for the third time since he arrived home, he heard the key phrase this time.

“Alright, Momma. I really need to let you go this time. It’s getting late for you and I know you need to get to bed. I’ll try to get a visit scheduled after the holidays. Enjoy your trip and take lots of pictures for me. Love you too. He loves you too, Momma. Sleep tight. Bye.”

You saw him giving you a strange look when you finally ended the call and decided to answer the question before he asked it.

“Apparently Mom is taking a trip to Branson, Missouri with a few other ladies in the Charter Club that don’t have family coming in for Christmas. I’m glad I hadn’t bought my ticket back home yet.”

Sitting up to face you, he tried to carefully make his suggestion, knowing you would put up a fight.

“That should be fun for her, but I know you were looking forward to being home for the holidays this year, Love. Do you have a backup plan in mind?”

He watched you set the phone down on the coffee table and cover your eyes with you arm as you groaned.

“Hallmark movies at home in London with Bobby?”

The look on your face already told him that you knew it wouldn’t fly with him.

“Georgia…”

“Hollywood, don’t even say it. I’ve spent every day with you for six months! I am NOT crashing your mother’s Christmas.”

“Darling-“

“Don’t darling me, Hiddleston. It’s a firm decline. She will already have a house full of people. I am perfectly capable of dog sitting in your lavish mansion in London. I know how to cook and not burn the house down. I’ll be fine.”

You gave him the look that signaled the conversation was over. With your eyebrows raised, you looked at him until he spoke. If he was smart, he would change the subject. If he wasn’t, he was in for a rough night. Today, he was smart… He simply raised his hands in defeat and laid back down on the sofa again.

“What are you doing home so early, anyways? Jen had you scheduled until just after 5 today. I figured you wouldn’t be back until I had dinner ready.”

He watched you swipe his juice off the table as he reached for it with a smile and now claimed it as your own. With a fake growl, he hopped up from the couch and went to retrieve another one.

“They did have me scheduled until 5 until the morning scenes ran long. Instead of changing out the set halfway through the day, they decided to push our scenes to next week and finish up the rest while they had enough extras available. I wasn’t in those they were shooting so- three-day weekend!”

Taking a large swig of the stolen drink, you called out to him over your shoulder.

“Well, that sure was nice of them. Jen sent over a few rewrites for next week. They should be on the printer in the office. I’ll help you run through them later if you want. Other than that, Luke sent over a few scripts for you to flip through. I went ahead and opened them when he had them delivered to put his notes on them for you. One of them is a play at home in case you wanted to slow down some. Personally, I really liked the one that had a fun rom-com vibe. It could be-“

You were shocked when a hand came over the end of the couch above you and clamped over your mouth, muffling you mid-sentence. With a glare, you looked up to find him sitting on the arm above you chugging the new juice. Waiting until he was done with the drink, he looked down at you with a smirk as you leaned your head back to give him a very unamused stare with your arms crossed over your chest. Now that you were silent, he removed his hand. You continued to glare.

“Was that necessary?”

Not moving from his perch above you, he kept the smug grin now residing on his lips.

“Truly, it was. I think you must have missed the part about a Three. Day. Weekend. To think, you call me the workaholic…”

“Alright, fine, Your Majesty. What do you want to do then?”

He glanced over to the open glass wall as a breeze blew in, before a large smile crept across his cheeks. Watching him lean down towards you so his face was hovering upside down above yours, he whispered like an excited kid.

“Beach Day”

He didn’t give you a chance to protest before he was dragging you up off the couch and pushing you towards your bedroom to make you go change.

The feeling of cold water dripping onto your back woke you from the peaceful nap, making you jump in the process. Quickly opening your eyes, you found a soaking wet Tom holding a towel in front of his face. His expression already showing he knew he was in trouble.

“Damn it, Thomas! What are you, five?!”

You watched as he dried his face and hair before taking his seat on the lounge chair next to yours.

“Sorry, Love. I didn’t think about it before leaning over you to get to the towels. Since you’re awake now anyways, toss me the sunblock, please. You’re getting a touch pink, darling.”

Digging through the bag on the ground beside you, you found the sunscreen and handed it over your shoulder to him. A few seconds later, his cold hands made contact with the sun-kissed skin on your shoulders, making you jump once again.

“Apologies. Perhaps I should have given you warning.”

His hands quickly warmed against your skin as he rubbed the lotion in large circles. It wasn’t so much the coldness that startled you, but the contact itself. Since the night things got heated with him last month, you had been intentionally trying to limit the physical contact with him. While you didn’t feel the strange tension with him, his touch still stirred something inside of you. It still held the same comfort it always had, but it had morphed into something more. It somehow calmed you, while still bringing a heat with it now. The simplest skin-to-skin contact brought you back into that moment. Feeling his lips against yours. His hands and mouth roaming as they left a fire burning in their path. You tried to keep your composure as his hands moved on from your lower back to the back of your thighs and down to your calves.

“George?”

You snapped out of your daze to see him handing the bottle over to you. When you sat up, he took a seat in front of you. Taking his towel from him, you wiped the rest of the water from his back and applied another layer onto his shoulders now that he was back out of the water. With filming still ongoing, the last thing he needed was to show up burned on Monday. The makeup team would not be happy. When you patted his back, he rose and took his place beside you once again.

“I’m going to miss this place once we head back home next week. The warm weather suits you, Georgia.”

You looked over at him with a smile before returning your gaze to the crashing waves in front of you. Since the condo they had the two of you in had its own private beach, it had been quiet and relaxing.

“It does, doesn’t it. I’ve missed having a tan. It was harder to get sun while bartending in New York compared to ranch work in Georgia. Plus, it’s nice to have better lines than the ones I got with a farmer’s tan.”

He glanced at you over the top of his shades before playfully winking at you.

“I’m certainly not complaining…”

In your own playful mood, you decided to play his game and give him a taste of his own medicine. The fact that he was reaching for his drink beside him right now made it even better.

“The key to preventing tan lines is to forgo the top all together.”

Tom choked on the water before letting out a series of coughs. You acted surprised at the reaction as you patted him on the back.

“You alright there? Someone should put a warning on the label. Those bottles sure are dangerous.”

Rolling his eyes, he cautiously took another small sip to cure the coughing fit he was experiencing.

“Ha ha.”

When you were quiet and leaned back against the chair to enjoy the sun, you caught him glancing over at you with a slightly confused look as he noticed that you in fact did have an absence of tan lines on your shoulders. He made it too easy sometimes.

“I have a private beach to myself while you’re on set, Hiddleston. What did you think I did all day? Worked?”

His jaw hung open while he gave it serious thought. Tom pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head to look at you.

“You’re joking right?... Please tell me you’re joking, Darling.”

With a smirk on your face, you reached up to the strap of your bikini top, watching his eyes widen. When you detached the strap to the top to show that they could be removed before reattaching it, he let out the breath he had been holding and lowered the shades once again.

“Removable straps. Calm down.”

Mumbling something under his breath, he shook his head and leaned back against the chair again.

“Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it, Hollywood…”

A few seconds later, a shadow past over you blocking the sunlight from your face. Before you even knew what has happening, he scooped you up from the chair like you were weight less. Throwing you over his shoulder, he began sprinting down to the water with you screaming and kicking the entire way. Knowing what was coming, you held your breath as he dove into the surf a few feet out, taking you with him.

It was the last few days of filming before returning to London at the end of the week and you were sad to have to say goodbye to everyone you had spent months with on a daily basis. You now understood why Tom always said that wrapping up a project was bittersweet. Close friendships had been built with so many people during your time on set. It truly had been an incredible experience.

Chatting with Ashley and a few other people close by, you saw the crew resetting the cameras to move on to the next scene. Since you usually ran lines with Tom in the evenings, you were familiar with the schedule and the scenes themselves. This one had been an awkward one to practice with him. The next one on the schedule today was a romantic monologue and kiss with his costar. Of course, while running lines with you, he had always stopped just before the kiss at the end. Truthfully, it hadn’t helped the awkwardness much as he still had to recite a heartfelt speech to you.

When the scene began it’s first take, you watched Tom get into character like you had nearly a thousand times at this point. While the words were familiar, the way he recited them now held so much more power behind them. You couldn’t take your eyes off him from your spot off to the side of the set. Due to the positioning, you were able to see him over the actress’s shoulder as he looked down at her, giving you a clear view of his expression.

By the end of the speech, you held your breath as your stomach developed a strange flutter. Just as you began to question your strange reaction, you watched as he leaned down and engaged in a rather steamy kiss with her.

Your stomach twisted into a knot. The butterflies that had briefly taken up residence were now brutally slaughtered.

When the director called cut, you put on a fake smile as he glanced up at you like he did periodically throughout the days you were on set with him. A look of confusion formed on his face and he silently mouthed to you from his spot.

“You alright?”

Giving him a quick nod and a bigger smile, you took a swig of the drink in your hand and attempted to focus on the conversation next to you. The director came over and gave the pair a few notes before stepping back behind the lines of cameras once more.

“Quiet on set! Rolling! Action!”

On cue, Tom began to recite the romantic confession once more. Now aware of them, a second wave of butterflies arrived, and you felt yourself audibly sigh as you watched him. This time his kiss held even more passion as he gently held her face in his hands and leaned her back slightly. It was the perfect movie kiss that you adored in some of your favorite chick flicks. It was the kiss you had dreamed of having yourself. A kiss you desperately wanted with him.

Your mind raced as you processed all the emotions you were feeling in that moment. Longing. Doubt. Adoration. Anger. Affection…

Jealousy…

“Darling?”

Snapping back from your thoughts, you looked up to find Tom standing in front of you with a concerned look on his face.

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright, Love?”

You had to get the hell out of there.

“I think I just got too warm. I’m going to head back to your trailer and rest for a few. Just text me when you’re wrapping up?”

He still looked concerned but nodded and kissed the top of your head before heading back on set. After giving him a small smile, you turned and headed in the direction of the camper they had setup for him a few yards away. Now in the privacy of Tom’s trailer, you tried to take a deep breath. You hadn’t been prepared to be met with the unique scent that undeniably him. The smell of his cologne had invaded every square inch of the place and only made things worse on you in this moment.

As you stepped inside the small bathroom to splash water on your face and try to calm down, you came to terms with the storm of emotions you were battling inside your head and your heart. You weren’t exactly sure when it had happened, but it was obvious to you now.

You were once again madly in love with him and you had never been more terrified in your life.

#loki fluff #loki angst #loki laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki fandom #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston angst #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #something good #best friends to lovers

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goldkirk · 2 years

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quick update while I catch my breath on the floor:

I’m running like a chicken with its head cut off to get my car tested and then run to government offices and also pack my entire life into a 5x5 storage unit and my car because I’m going to drive from Missouri to the PNW and live in a tiny little fishing town Airbnb cabin for two months while I figure out a place to live and see if I have a breakdown or if I can push it off a few months. My health stuff is on pause because of the holidays and move, but I do likely have EDS and the doctor wasn’t up to date on the new diagnostic standards so she wouldn’t diagnose me herself. I have absolutely not been to the dentist to take care of anything and I won’t until something starts to hurt because I have no money for it and I’m? You know. Moving. But that’s fine, it’s been chill so far and I just need a few more weeks.

Everything is on hold till I have any spare brain power—I know what I want to write but I can’t even manage to text people right now so sentence writing is a no-go. But I’m working on it and things are happening and in a few weeks I’ll have made it across the country WITHOUT dying on any mountain pass and WHILE successfully hauling boxes and my dog in a little car by myself, because I believe I can do it and everything besides getting there is just details I can figure out later. I’m on so much adrenaline I stopped being anxious and I’m just ploughing through packing and trashing and donating and cleaning—and for the first time in my life I actually believe I can do something like this and no one has been able to convince me to give up.

I love you all. Thank you for helping me learn to care enough to get myself out of the situation I’ve been in, thank you for coming with me on the journey from Latchkey to now, and thank you for sharing your own stories and resources and thoughts with me and helping me to learn and grow. I hope I’m able to pay it forward back to you all in the coming months and years too. You all have saved my life over the past six years. Thank you for helping me make it to this time and actually realize what it’ll take to get free. This is something beyond any ability to quantify a value for it. I’m more grateful than I’ll ever find words to say. 💕

#personal

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coderfortourette · 3 years

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Statehouse Headcanons

State Headcanons based on city research

Thanks to Ben's city name videos, I have started researching the etymology of different places in the United States. And naturally I've come up with lots of different headcanons based on all of my research.

Pronunciation Headcanons: How some states will pronounce other states names

- Louisiana says "Eye-way" instead of Iowa. [From place Iowa, Louisiana. Which was founded by a bunch of people from the Midwest]

- Kansas says Arkansas's name wrong, but that's on purpose because he's a little bugger.

- Kentucky says "Lee'siana" instead of Louisiana. [This one is just a personal thing. I'm from Kentucky (ok, Ohio-Kentucky hybrid, but I pick Kentucky) and that's just how I sometimes slur Louisiana together.]

- Texas says "Colo-ray-do" instead of Colorado. [Colorado City, Texas. The "Mother City of West Texas"]

- Wisconsin says Arkansas's name correctly, he just spells it "Arkansaw". West Virginia also spells it this way sometimes. [Arkansas, West Virginia (or sometimes Arkansaw) and Arkansaw, Wisconsin.]

- Then Nevada's name... 3 pronunciations (a). Ne-vad-uh = how the state says it (b). Ne-va-duh = the Spanish pronunciation (How I headcanon New Mexico says it. Gov/DC also uses this pronunciation) (c). Ne-vey-duh = The one used by cities in Indiana, Iowa, Missouri, Ohio, Texas, and Arkansas. [Nevada County, Arkansas actually, not a city. And it's named that because it's shape is/was similar to that of the state of Nevada.]

State Names:

- Alaska's name comes from an idiom. So I propose this New York: It's an idiom! Florida: You're an idiom. Alaska: Actually I'm an idiom, he's an unoriginal copy.

- Kentucky named Washington. The original proposed name was "Columbia" for the Columbia River and Columbia District. However a Kentucky representative (Richard H. Stanton) felt that was too similar to the District of Columbia. So the name Washington, after the president, was proposed and obviously accepted. There is still confusion between the city and the state though, so it wasn't really a thought out decision.

- Pennsylvania named Wyoming. The name comes from the Wyoming Valley in Pennsylvania and is derived from a Munsee word meaning "at the big river flat".

- Wyoming is indifferent towards being named by Pennsylvania. Washington is looking into maybe changing his name, but hasn't said anything aloud to avoid hurting Kentucky's feelings. [Based on the fact that name changes have been proposed to avoid confusion if/when Washington DC becomes a state]

- Florida's name means "Little Flower". He was given the name from the lush greenery and the fact that it was Easter season when Juan Ponce landed. (Pascua Florida).

- There is apparently a state holiday in Florida called Pascua Florida. It's celebrated around April 2nd. Florida, the state personification, absolutely celebrates it. I'm still not 100% sure what festivities entail, but Florida wears a flower crown that day (Orange Blossoms and tickweeds specifically)

- Florida has tried to include some of the other states in his festivities. But given that the holiday falls right around/sometimes on April 1st, they think it's just an April's Fool Prank and don't join.

- In a universe where Georgia and Florida have a father-son relationship, Georgia would call Florida "Little Flower" as a nickname when Florida was younger. He still does occasionally, but not as often anymore.

- There exist a few cities named "California". I'm going to focus on California, Kentucky (totally not because that's my favorite state, what?) The city was set up 1852 and was named California because of the Gold Rush. The occupants would receive lots of news and letters about it. My headcanon: California and Kentucky are pen-pals. In fact, they are pen pals who don’t know that they know each other in real life (which, at this point everybody’s giving them questioning looks bc they’ve been sending letters since the 1840s and it’s the 2000s. Who else would they be sending letters too?) They're just dumbasses. Literally everybody else in the statehouse has figured it out except for these two. Like, the others will watch one of them write the letter and send it. The letter will arrive at the statehouse after a few days and the other one will be reading it in view of the first one After the first few times, even the mailman was like “this letter is just coming back here?? Why should I take it??” But I also headcanon Kentucky with OCD/Autism (totally not projecting here...). He would get upset if the mailman wouldn't take the letter because OCD/Autism Logic TM. So the mailman humors him. Does this mean that Kentucky and California should recognize the return address and stuff? Yes. Do they? Of course not. I will need to do a separate post just for my Kentucky and California headcanons.

Other random things:

- Kentucky just... can not pronounce things. That, or he has his own way of doing it and will not listen to others. Specifically when it comes to French or Spanish based names. There's a lot of cities in Kentucky pronounced differently then their foreign language source. [Louisville, Versailles, Cadiz, Erlanger, etc]

- Kentucky sings under his breath a lot. The three most common songs are "My Old Kentucky Home" [state song], "My Bonnie Lies Over the Sea" [Bonnieville, Kentucky], and "Pastoral Elegy" [Corydon, Kentucky].

- Kentucky supplies Utah with most of beekeeping equipment. [Walter T. Kelly Beekeeping company started in Leitchfield, Kentucky].

- Virginia no longer names anything Fayette anymore. He named a place Fayette County, in honor of Marquis de LaFayette. Then Kentucky became a state and took it. So in 1830, Virginia named another place Fayette County. Then West Virginia became a state and took it. West Virginia and Kentucky have joked that maybe District should change his name to Fayette and he'll get statehood a whole lot sooner and easier.

- Georgia really likes bacon. [Bacon County, Georgia and Baconton, Georgia. Both are technically named for people who's last name was Bacon, but shh]. He will argue with you if you don't like bacon.

- Whenever the BBQ argument pops up between the South, North Carolina likes to point out that his BBQ is the best, he even has a place named Barbecue! The other states are not amused.

- Kentucky is the type of person who gets his paperwork done ahead of time. He's very busy with it. (Not to the point of ruining his sleep schedule though). [Busy, Kentucky. Named because the enterprising citizens were "busy as bees".] (Is it obvious I have a favorite state?)

That’s all I have for now. But I’m going to keep up the research still anyway and may update it with new revelations and thoughts.

#welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #wttt #wttsh #ben brainard #city names #state names #Kentucky #etymology #I have fallen into a deep pit from which I can not escape #Back into research I go though

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its-deputy-caleb · 3 years

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Micah Bell HC’s - Baylock

okay so i’ve been playing RDR2 recently and Baylock has the AUDACITY to walk away from me when i go to pat him, and i cannot for the life of me get near him so i decided to write head cannons where that kind of disrespect is non-existent lmao. And i decided to throw in some cute micah moments cause i can but mostly this is just me ranting so enjoy this unedited rambling. (It’s gender neutral as always but it’s more crack at this point)

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There has been numerous occasions in and around camp where some poor bastard has unfortunately had to be patched up by Ms Grimshaw because they came a little too close to Baylock.

Sean ended up bedridden for months when he thought that, while drunk, it would be an amazing idea to ride Baylock. Yet all it got him was two broken ribs and the ability to fly half way across camp.

He’s as stubborn as his rider and will run off the minute anyone approaches- even if they’re holding apples or sugar cubes. He doesn’t like to mingle with the other horses and he certainly doesn’t like to share his oatcakes.

Baylock has always been a difficult horse to manage, Kieran of all people learnt that the hard way. He’s been bitten more times than he cares to remember so when it comes time to brush or feed him, he does well to keep his fingers far away from those surprisingly strong teeth.

It’s not been much easier for Arthur either who is known around camp for his ability to bond with horses. One time when Arthur had the begrudging chore of moving stacks of hay bales around camp he attempted to pat Baylock as well as some of the other horses. Only Baylock ended up agitated as always, ready to run off at his first chance as Arthur backed away slowly, considering himself one of the lucky ones since he didn’t end up face first in the dirt.

Everyone’s jaw dropped however, when they saw you approach Baylock one afternoon with some oatcakes hidden behind your back. The whole camp was on edge, ready to jump in if needed, not wanting to see you get hurt as you revealed the oatcakes in your flat open palm and gently fed them to Baylock.

“Shh... don’t tell anyone alright? We wouldn’t want Brown Jack or Boaz getting jealous now would we?”

You gently pat along Baylock’s hair, resting your forehead against his and giggling softly under your breath as he tries to find more snacks hidden away in your pockets.

The whole gang lost their shit that you could just walk up to Baylock and feed him like you had no care in the world when you nearly gave poor old Hosea a heart attack and had Swanson thinking he’d need to start preparing your funeral service.

Yet, surprisingly, it went unnoticed by everyone in camp that while Micah found himself stuck in jail, you took it upon yourself to care for Baylock.

It took a lots of oatcakes and some patience, but eventually Baylock warmed up to you. It probably didn’t help that on more than one occasion, you found yourself riding on the back of Baylock, arms wrapped loosely around Micah’s waist as you both drunkenly made your way back to camp after too many drinks at the saloon.

Having to attempt to ride him was an entirely new challenge in itself. Not only did you not fit in the saddle properly but he’s as relentless as Micah and so often ended up not following your directions. Most of the time, you were the one being led and you huffed in frustration as you realise you’re really just sitting on Baylock while he walks around in a comfortable trot.

For the next week and a half you spent your lazy afternoons brushing and feeding Baylock and taking him small adventures through the forests surrounding the outskirts of camp.

When Micah finally returned to camp, he walked over to the outskirts of camp to see you take a apple out of your pocket before being gently eaten out of your palm.

“You keep feedin’ him like that and soon he ain’t gonna leave you alone.”

You smiled triumphantly up at Micah, knowing that you had accomplished the one thing no one else could. You befriended the fearless and wild Missouri Fox Trotter that belonged to the even wilder Micah Bell.

“You’re just jealous that he likes me more than he likes you.”

Micah would argue with you but you were right, Baylock was the most calm he’d had ever seen him. Usually he’s agitated and reckless which suited an outlaw that needed to escape the law quickly and withstand even the wildest terrain but it was nice to see his steed and his sweetheart so at peace for once.

Okay so maybe Micah was just slightly jealous that Baylock warmed up to you so quickly but it only made him love you more.

A couple of weeks later you took a “hunting” trip with Micah which ended up turning into a week long holiday down by Little Creek River up past Strawberry.

You sat amongst a field of lupine and lavender, your back pressed comfortably to Micah’s chest in a warm embrace. It was there where you watched your horse and Baylock roam unsaddled around the river bank.

“He doesn’t listen to me no more, since you pampered him will all those treats he only listens to you and I ain’t sure i’m happy about it.”

The sun had just begun to dip behind the mountain when you reached up and placed a kiss underneath Micah’s chin from where you sat.

“Well, if you stopped getting into bar fights with old friends then maybe i wouldn’t have to pamper your horse so much.”

Despite Micah’s obvious complaining and empty accusations, he smiles down at you. It’s the smile that’s only reserved for when it’s just you and him.

“He’s more like our horse at this point”

You hum softly in agreement and reach up to run your fingers through Micah’s hair. Both of you laugh as Baylock chases your horse around, trying to bite their tail. It was nice to see that he hadn’t lost his erratic behaviour.

“That reminds me, we need to make a trip to the butcher after this so they think we at least pull our weight for this gang...”

#micah bell #micah bell imagine #rdr2 #rdr2 writing #rdr2 headcanons #gn!reader #baylock rdr2 #i want the rat mans horse #baylock is so pretty oml #i will sell my soul #this is what my sleep deprived brain produces #ur welcome

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modern-vellichor · 3 years

Text

Darling, You're Hopeless

Summary: You and Loki are seemingly always on the run. One day Loki is forced to leave you, and Steve takes care of you while he's gone.

Warnings: smoking, cigarettes, mentions of blood, handcuffs?, needles, loki fluff, steve being a good friend, mostly fluff.

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Reader

Dating the villain isn't as bad as it seems, especially when you are one in the same. They knew you only as Hestia, except you weren't a God, not like him. They knew that you flirted with flame like it was an old friend, hence the nickname. You were the first one they called when he ended up in their grasp. It had taken a week of persuasion from Tony and Cap to convince Thor to contact you.

You were nice when you arrived. You stepped out of the cab in very mortal clothes. Cap noticed how generously you tipped the driver. You shook everyone's hand when you came in, even gave Peter a soft, motherly smile and a pat on the head. When you were talking with Tony and Steve you were nothing but mannerly. You didnt hesitate in declining a call in the middle of your meeting. You shook your head and apologised upon hearing of Loki's actions. Then politely asked to see him, and they didnt see why not.

"My Darling, Hestia. You dont know how happy I am to see you", he said, drool dripping from the corner of his mouth after the gag was removed.

"I know, baby", you whispered, wiping his chin with your thumb.

The two of you spoke for a while, Tony and Steve watching intently. Then you flicked your hand beside your head, a lit cigarette appearing between your fingers. You took one long drag, and exhaled. Smoke filled the room, obscuring their view. When they burst in, the two of you were gone and the room had been set ablaze.

They should have known.

Your house in Missouri was secluded. You hid there, you and Loki. You lived an almost normal life. You had groceries delivered to the house and spent your days lounging around. You had work to do, and Loki kept himself busy.

One late afternoon you heard knocking on your door. You opened it without thinking and next minute Steve Rogers was shoving his way into your entry hall. You stopped him before he reached the door to the living room, clamping a hand over his mouth.

"Y/N, Darling?", Loki called out. "Is everything alright? Who's at the door"

"Everything's fine, baby. It's just an old friend. We're going for a walk." You answered nonchalantly.

You shoved Steve into the cool afternoon air. You didnt say a word until the two of you had walked to the next block.

"So, Y/N?" He asked lazily.

"You don't get to call me that." You spat in return.

You had worked so hard on keeping private and safe. And now everything had been compromised. For all you know there could be 20 S.H.I.E.L.D agents at your home for Loki while Steve distracted you.

You took a deep breath. "What do you want, Mr. Rogers?"

"I want to make a deal"

"What deal?"

"Keep your boyfriend distracted long enough until we have precautions in place to defeat him should anything,,,happen. We have Intel that Loki is planning an attack on the Avengers and we dont need another problem right now"

"Will those precautions involve killing him?", you asked sadly.

"No"

"Then you have a deal"

"Pleasure doing business with you"

From then on Steve made a visit every month. He promised not to tell any of the other Avengers of your location. You had begun to enjoy your monthly walks. Until one day Steve rapped at your door and you opened it, teary eyed and distraught.

"He's gone and I dont know where he is", you rambled hastily. "Steve you've got to help"

Steve was quick to get to straight to New York. He left you stranded in a concrete room while he searched the city for Loki. Eventually he came to let you out, and guided you to a plain but comfortable looking cell. In it was an angry looking Loki who was pacing. He had a cut on his temple and a bruise forming on his cheek. You sighed in relief and tapped on the glass. The two of you spoke quietly for a few minutes before your hands were being held behind your back.

Loki put up a fight as you were lead away in cuffs and chains. But you went quietly. You made small remarks to Steve, you was hesitantly leading you to a cell of your own. He had done so much for you, the least you could do was cause him no trouble. And even in captivity, Steve took care of you. He snuck you books to read and journals to write in. He took letters and notes to Loki, and brought you his in return. And after a few months of lonely captivity, you asked Steve a final favour.

He had come to bring you dinner when you grabbed his arm, looking into his eyes with a pleading look.

"Steve please. Allow us to share a cell. I worry what Loki will do, should he be left alone any longer"

He walked you to Loki with your hands tied behind your back. The first thing that Loki did was embrace you, your hands not yet free. Before Steve could remove your restraints, you gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and passed a little note to him.

Steve came to visit you in the evenings. You both hated to admit it, but you had become good friends. Should things have been different, you would have turned to him for advice.

Steve liked his evening visit. You and Loki read aloud as you lay with each other. While you liked to recite poetry and other dramatic readings, Loki preferred to read classic literature. Steve vividly remembers a poem you recited about icarus. He remembers you being so passionate about changing the narrative of the story of Icarus, and it had worked. Steve never saw that tale in the same light.

One evening Steve brought you and Loki your food. You came to retrieve your plates from the little hatch. You were muttering an apology before he even realised what was happening. He only felt the needle as you were pulling it out of his hand. On a normal man, that amount of tranquilizer would knock him out for days. But with serum raging through his veins, it merely immobilized Steve. It was enough though. You and Loki crawled out of the confines of your cell. With the walls behind you, Loki was finally able to get the both of you out of there.

Your holiday home in Italy was a lot nicer anyway.

Neither of you were working very hard in Italy. The two of you spent your days walking around in the summer sun, or spending your afternoons curled up in bed with each other. Loki was soft behind closed doors. Soft and loving, gentle and caring. Although you weren't allowed to tell anyone that. You lived like this for a few, happy months.

Then one night you were curled up, asleep. Loki's hand rubbing comforting circles on your stomach. You didn't wake up when the lock on your front door clicked, nor when the thudding up the stairs began. You still kick yourself for it. You only startled awake when your bedroom door was kicked in, a sad group of Avengers standing where it would have been. You immediately scrambled to hide your lover from the group of angry heroes. Steve had an emphatic look on his face, he met your pleading eyes with sorrow.

"Steve", you whimpered. "Please. I'm begging you. Don't do this"

You gave Loki a loving squeeze on the thigh. That was the signal. Within seconds he had disappeared, and you were left alone with tears in your eyes.

"Can I at least get dressed before you lot kidnap me", you spat.

Most of the group ambled pathetically downstairs, all but Steve.

"I'm sorry." He stated, sitting at the edge of your bed. His gaze trained at the floor while you dressed.

"I'm sure you are"

"I'll take good care of you, until Loki gets back"

Should those words have fallen from any others mouth, you would have thought them a threat. But on his lips, it was a kind gesture. You smiled at your unlikely friend, and things felt a small bit better.

Months went by. Every day you woke up in that God forsaken compound wishing that Loki would arrive to collect you. And each day you were disappointed. But there were little things to make up for it.

The young Avenger. Peter, you had grown close with him. And even though you were as stubborn as a mule, and refused to help, Stark could not kill you, you were simply too valuable. So you had the run of the library. You memorized poem upon poem for the day your lover returned. You knew in your heart one day he would.

Eventually your incessant complaining grew too much for Stark. So he allowed Steve to take your for walks. The two of you would walk Peter home from school sometimes.

It was on one of these trips that a familiar voice rang in your ear. The familiar call of "Darling" lingered in the air as you almost fainted. Sure enough, when you turned around he was there. Notably a fair bit skinnier. You weren't sure if this was really him or an apparition. When you embraced him you found him to be solid. Peter and Steve stood awkwardly as the two of you reunited.

"you have to go, god knows what they'll do if they find you," you say, pulling away from him with tears in your eyes.

You run your hands down his chest, straightening his shirt and fixing his jacket.

"come with me, please, darling. You have to, I need you," he begs. His eyes are soft and pleading.

Peter is standing behind you, he watches in fear. He's heard of Loki and the damage he's done, although he isn't scared of the Loki that you tell stories of, he's definitely afraid of the one standing a few feet ahead of him.

Steve watches out of the corner of his eye as Peter reaches for his phone and begins to call Tony. Steve grabs the device and crushes it in his hand. Peter begins to protest but Steve's quiets him quickly.

"Does that look like a man who's gonna hurt someone?" He whispers angrily, gesturing at the frail and weak Loki. "He's not here for revenge, he's here for her"

Suddenly you turn around to look at Steve, teary eyed. You look at him imploringly, silently begging him to let you go with Loki.

Steve smiles at you sadly, he raises his hand and waves at you.

Your eyes go wide in shock and disbelief.

Steve nods and shoos you away with his hand, turning around a pulling Peter with him.

You both look back one last time and you mouth a Thank You at the blond. He just nods and turns around again.

When he looks one last time you're gone. But he knows he'll see you again, and hopefully you'll have turned Loki into a better man. Or maybe he'll have corrupted you equally as much. Steve didn't try care. He'll miss his friend, and you will too.

#loki laufeyson #loki #loki odinson #loki fluff #loki fanfic #loki x reader #loki layfeyson x reader #loki odison x reader #steve fluff #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers

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