#I tell people things for once

[goldkirk]

Here’s what I know.

1. I am not dead

2. I don’t need to suffer to justify being alive

3. I can’t save other people

4. I will always want to try

5. That’s not stupid of me

6. I have a responsibility to save myself

#I hate all of it #this is bullshit and I’m sick of being a human and life SUCKS when things are good and everything in my head is FUCKED #I’m preparing for battles that don’t happen and leave me feeling stupid #and never see the ones that DO come until they hit me #I’m not going back to Missouri for the holidays #it’s going to be a miserable round of guilt tripping for the next two months #UNLESS IT ISN’T #I tell people things for once #and then my family DOESN’T do what I JUST told someone they’ll do #and then I feel SO stupid. I hate this stage #I don’t know what to expect from may of them #they treat me like an outsider now but still are sweet and kind and include me and stuff #but they’re engaged in criticism and spiritual warfare and an anti-Katie’s-fallen-ways campaign behind my back with all the kids #because that’s what they did with me in regards to other relatives #UNLESS THEY AREN’T #I want nothing more than for them to change but if they change what the FUCK was all my suffering for? #if they change after all this time then why wasn’t I enough for them to change for when I was begging #and if they don’t change then my suffering and fears will be valid but we’ll also probably have two dead kids or at minimum estrangement #this is a mess but I also overcatastrophize EVERYTHING #which is leading to the 10 month journey of “Katie becoming the girl who cried wolf #…again #anyway whatever this is a weird week I’m kind of fucked up and need to go walk and think #I can’t feel anything but I feel /weird/ #you know?? #shh katie

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[sarasade]

One of the most generally useful things to come out of Hbomberguy's plagiarism video and Todd in the Shadows' similar video on misinformation is how they bring transparency to the internet phenomenon of "I made up a guy to get mad at".

Seriously, I've seen people make up a lot of stupid shit on the internet over the years and it's often just a manipulative attempt to paint a group of marginalized people in a bad light.

That's the TL;DR version of this post. 

ANYWAY here is the long version

Those videos are mostly about James Somerton's plagiarism of other queer people's work. However I'd like to talk about that 20-30% of Somerton's original writing- and oh boy. It's mostly about complaining about White Straight Women and misgendering well-known trans creators such as Rebecca Sugar and calling Becky Albertalli a straight woman while it's pretty common knowledge that she was forced to out herself as bi because she received so much harassment over "being a cishet woman who appropriates LGBT+ stories".

One thing that irks me especially is how in his Killing Stalking and Gay Shipping videos Somerton brings up how straight women/ teen girl shippers exploit gay men for their personal sexual fantasies. This gets brought up several times in his videos.

Being all up and arms about Somerton being a "White Cis Gay Who Hates Women and Queer People tm" is not that useful because the kind of rhetoric he's using is extremely common in fandom and LGBT+ spaces on Tumblr, TikTok and Twitter. We really don't need to bring Somerton's identity to this since he is in no way an unique example.

It's hypocritical to make this about an individual person when I've seen A TON of posts, tweets and videos where queer people talk about these Sinister Straight Women who are supposedly out there fetishizing and exploiting queer men. It's pretty clear to me that this is just an excuse to shit on women and queer people for having any sexual interests. At worst these comments are spreading misinformation about BL, a form of media that has been excessively studied by both Asian feminists and Asian queer women.

This all sounds really familiar and I think it's good that people are calling it out as what it is: misogyny and transphobia. I'd also point out the potentially racist motives behind being this hypervigilant about Asian media.

People can absolutely be misogynist regardless of gender or orientation. I really don't know why we need to create some kind of made up enemy to get mad at. I actually think it's almost sinister how "anti-fujoshi" people call Slash shippers and fujoshi misogynists or claim that they have internalised misogyny while being dismissive about women's interests and creative pursuits under Japanese obscenity laws, China's censorship, book bans in American schools and various other disadvances that are part of being a queer and/or female creator.

I think we shouldn't be naive about the bad faith actors who want to turn queer people against each other. For example Fujoshi.info mentions anti-gender (TERF, GC etc) movement using this kind of rhetoric as well.

Anyway if you want to read more:

- about the false info around BL fandom fujoshi.info

-There is the scholar Thomas Baudinette who studies gay media in Japan. Here is a podcast with him and the scholar Khursten Santos

-James Welker is a BL scholar as well. Here is a podcast interview about the new international BL article collection he edited.

-I've already talked about this Youtube channel by KrisPNatz and his great Killing Stalking video that actually engages with the themes of the manhwa

- There is also HR Coleman's thesis DO NOT FEED THE FETISHIZERS: BOYS LOVE FANS RESISTANCE AND CHALLENGE OF PERCEIVED REPUTATION where she interviews 36 BL fans and actually breaks down why fetishization has become such a huge talking point in the fandom discourse. Spoilers, it's mostly about young queer people and women being worried that they will get judged and pathologized for their interest in anything sexual.

-Great podcast about Danmei and censorship with Liang Ge

#Also I don't mean that you can always tell if someone is a transphobe or a TERF based on a couple of things they have said. #My point is that sometimes ok people can have very regressive ideas too. #This is not a call out post about how we should go around accusing anti-fujoshi people #todd in the shadows #hbomberguy #sarasade text #even I've got those “Fandom is mostly straight women fetishizing gay men” comments once and it begins to sound kind of passive-aggressive #when you're a bi woman. Lot of fandom stats at AO3 show that fandoms are montly bi women. who are these people calling straight exactly hmm #also straight women are completely ok leave them alone. I know I know Yes I'm so brave for saying this #cw: transphobia

[thejasontoddarchives]

Catwoman (2018-) #57

Bruce is really swinging between extremes huh

#dc #jason todd #red hood #catwoman 57 #gotham war #last week it was ‘shouldn’t I kill you’ and now it’s ‘I’m gonna take back my son screw the plan for now’ #some people are saying it’s inconsistency but tbh I think he’s supposed to be off the rails #even as he’s saying this he practically tossed said son into the middle of traffic #possibly drugged him too #For once the writers are probably telling you to take what Bruceman says with a grain of salt #like especially that last line makes absolutely no sense in the context of everything he’s done this issue lol #but tbh is this really anything new for him #the only new thing about it is the fact that it’s being framed honestly for once

[swampthingking]

andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:

“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”

#pr manager is like: andrew… this is the last time i’m gonna tell you #andrew: whats the point of democracy if i can’t exercise freedom of speech #pr manager: andrew it’s no longer about your image #at this point we are concerned the fbi is going to show up #andrew: neil has connections. i’m fine #they thought marketing andrew on social media would be good #they were sooooo wrong #because now andrew has a place to share every insane thing he’s ever thought #for instance—a tweet that just says ‘an alien googling: human clothes’ #he’s on there advocating for lgbtq+ youth you KNOW HE IS #he’s cursing and mildly threatening members of congress for imposing these disgusting bills #one day he tweeted ‘does mitch mcconnell know he’s dead yet’ #when mitch mcconnell stepped down from senate andrew tweeted ‘hopefully next he steps down from life’ #unsurprisingly: this endears him to some people and makes others fucking hate him #and he’s such a shit. he does not care either way #he’s kind of just like: pr manager. you gave me a twitter and told me to tweet. i’m just doing what you asked me #they’ve threatened to change his password so many times #they actually did once but andrew reported the account so many times for defamation and fraud that it got suspended #and he made a new account out of pure spite #his pr manager is like: andrew nobody is going to want to sign you because of your public image #and andrew is like: ?? ok. they can lose every game then #(he knows he’s the best goalie) #ok i think that’s enough for now. however i will probably be back #andrew minyard #aftg #tfc #trk #tkm #the foxhole court #all for the game

[ride-a-dromedary]

"Halsin shouldn't be that big or muscular or look middle aged because he's an elf and the lore sa-"

I actually think he should be bigger and look more middle aged, personally.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #the man has been non-stop stressed for a century like i'm surprised that didn't prematurely age him MORE #i think he *should* have silver hairs peppered throughout from the endless stress he's been under #and be built like a professional strong man with a significant healthy layer of fat because he *hibernates* and is *practically strong* #and because he says he likes sweet things and doesn't find any point in denying himself things he likes #so you're telling me that man is chiseled and cut like an unhealthy bodybuilder? #no i don't think so #'elf lore says-' this game is literally all about curbing your expectations when it comes to what people are 'meant' to be #elf lore says a lot of things that halsin fits *to a t* - his appearance being out of the 'norm' is not a flaw #but it doesn't matter then does it? only when he physically fits the species paradigm? #'that's not how elf aging works!' why not? you've seen how human's age yeah? different people age in different ways #you can line up ten 50 year olds next to one another and not a single one of them will look the same #the thing is that under every single umbrella there is diversity of experience #people will look and age differently from others - that's just how life and genetic diversity *works* #anyway this is a gripe at two different things at once don't mind me

[sweetgaleria]

Help a college student graduate by answering a survey!!

Hey!! Are you over 18 and in the miraculous fandom? Then this is for you!!

Hi everyone, this is my last semester of uni, and one of my final projects to be able to graduate is to write a scientific paper. I'm writing an article about adult fans of children's animation, specifically Miraculous Ladybug. My goal is to understand what makes adults (like us) want to join fandoms centered around shows aimed primarily at children, and to do that I'd love to hear directly from the source! The survey takes around 10 minutes to answer, it's 100% anonymous and it would help me immensely!

>>Click here for the survey<<

I need at least 30 people to answer, but honestly the more the merrier! I've also made a little thank you gif at the end, so if you see it let me know! If you have any questions feel free to send me an ask, as well!

Please reblog so it can reach more people! Thank you so much!

#what do we love (or hate!! I know people are here bc they dont like the show as much too) abt miraculous that #makes us want to spend so much time thinking and creating things for and about it? #miraculous ladybug #i am once again asking for your support #insert bernie sanders meme here #alskdjasd #no but really if you answer this it would help me so so much #and i'll be so thankful #i will reblog this post a bit frequently so please be patient with me 😭😭 #also the point of this is not to shame anyone for watching kid's shows in any shape or form #i just love animation and kids cartoons too #my first intentions with this research were to ask why do we mostly view animation as a kid's genre instead of a technique to tell stories #in the west at least #but it was too broad of a question and I dont have enough time to dedicate myself to it #so i narrowed it down to something i'm familiar with #which is why i went for #so uh anyway #pls reblog #and answer my survey #thank you so much

[imthursdaysyme]

Finished my It'll Pass series

#drawing #art #digital art #stranger things #bbc merlin #steve harrington #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #eddie munson #max mayfield #arthur pendragon #merlin #stobin #steddie #ronance #merthur #woah ok #lotsa people on here I hope y'all cried at least once with this series #I'll post the close up of stobin tomorrow but be happy cause tumbler gets it first #I'm telling people I'm still working on the stobin one but I actually finished it #cause I'm a liar ig #but next it Wayne Munson and eddie #I kinda liked this series tho #getting back to my roots of sadness and despair #but I like funny shit too much that this is random sadness #anyway #idk #have fun with the finished page ig

[chaosxcrushed]

There's a certain CCCC summary video that we really, really like. We think it is a great video for people if they want to grasp the story more clearly, if they're confused, or if they're listening to the album for the first time.

That video being Chonny Jash and the Weight of the Mind on Youtube by W3tBl@nk3t. We think they cover it really well.

However, I'm sharing this for a different reason; they say few certain things that really struck with us until now, that I'd like to share with the fandom. Sometimes, we see people really just.. Miss the point of CCCC entirely, and I'd like to shine a light on what was said here. If you'd like to hear this for yourself on video, the timestamp is 35:57-36:45.

“..I bet we all could relate to that, they are the prime example of the side of you that suffers and the side of you that hates yourself for suffering:

The side of you that just wants to slow down and feel everything even to the unhealthy extent of not being able to do anything else(1), but also the side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it(2).

Sure, laying in bed all day every day to rot isn't healthy, but neither is boiling things down and invalidating your own emotions. Both are paths to inevitable disaster, and that's what Chonny is doing here. Keep in mind that the idea behind this album is being whole, and that means neither of these sides are entirely in the right or the wrong; this album is about inner compromise and acceptance(3).”

1.) The side of you that suffers; Heart. He is representative of Whole's emotions, he holds them. Your emotions can go haywire, especially when one's mentally ill and has no way of their feelings being validated. An emotional person like Heart suffers under the weight of crushing, devastating feelings. He wants to feel things out, have time to just process everything, even if it takes them days or weeks to get over it. It's not healthy, but feeling is what he does, and he wants to help because he knows he has importance. Solely focusing on just your emotions isn't the best thing to do, however.

2.) The side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it; Mind. Many people have been there, have wanted themselves to stop wallowing in their own emotions and just do something else, even to the point where you think feeling things out is unnecessary. This is also unhealthy, but not intentionally. Like Heart, Mind just wants to help, everything he does is in best interest. This is what he thinks will get them to move on the quickest; to leave behind emotions and focus on anything BUT that. Also not the best thing to do.

3.) This album is about inner compromise and acceptance; About being whole. Neither of Heart and Mind are right nor wrong. They have their own ways of doing things, of what they think will help their whole self out the most, but both are unhealthy despite the good intentions. They fight over who's wrong or right, when they shouldn't even be doing so in the first place. It's your thoughts against your emotions, basically; your feelings contradict your thoughts, and it leads to an inner war of sorts. This won't make things better, which is why you can't have Mind over Heart or vice versa; you'll need both of them. In the album, they are only able to be whole when they get along. They harmonize, they 'combine', they see eye to eye with each other and work together instead of fighting over and over. Inner compromise is achieved with this, and acceptance can lead them away from any disaster that there's to come.

What we're trying to say is that mental health is a large thing tackled within CCCC, and yet we see a lot of people who overlook it; thus, end up missing the point of the whole album. We see a lot of people believe Mind's perspective a little too much and treat Heart quite harshly, or the other way where people demonize Mind and say that Heart is perfect, when it's not really that in the slightest.

This is not a hate post towards people's interpretations of CCCC or how they view characters, I'm just saying that people can tend to overlook what's in the very narrative, and we see a concerning amount of people do such.

Anyways. Stream CCCC and put your Hearts and Minds in the get along shirt. Have a nice day.

#chonny jash #chonnys charming chaos compendium #cccc #cccc heart #cj heart #cccc mind #cj mind #mind chonny jash #heart chonny jash #I did not mention Soul once in this post. I am so sorry to all of the Soul enjoyers #whole was technically mentioned but this is not about him. so sorry to the Whole enjoyers as well #we rreally really really like this CCCC video #a lot #it does a great job at explaining things and is fairly good for an unbiased telling of the story #to reiterate though this is not a hate post #it's just a bit frustrating to see how many people say that mind is right or heart is right #but no.. that is not the point of cccc #and it's even in tse as well. the line 'neither is right yet neither is wrong' #personally we are big fans of heart and will defend him since he gets so mischaracterized #but we know and acknowledge that he isn't 100% correct and can be wrong for what he wants to do and has done #we love Heart but he did not have to pull that gun. #also. more justice for characters who make mistakes but aren't automatically super evil because they're just human. #we've seen how people lack that understanding in the fandom </3 #hmsw are so incredibly flawed in a relatable way with such good writing #we feel like people overlook that so much #this post was scary to make but #we're doing it #here goes #CxC rambling and yapping #we haven't posted purely text posts in a while please don't come for our heads c4 fandom

[bogkeep]

idk why there's so much discussion around the ~*morality of traumadumping*~ when it's a VERY solvable social conundrum. all you need to do is ask something like "hey is it ok if i talk about this thing? it's kind of heavy" and respect the answer

#it's both very normal and good to talk to people about stuff that's weighing on you #AND it can be very uncomfortable to have someone unload a lot of really heavy things at you at once without warning #this is not a zero sum game? #????????????? #i guess sometimes the problem is that ppl have a different measure for what counts as 'traumadumping' #i personally associate it w the time i was a volunteer at a summer camp and one of the teens asked me if they could get my advice #and when i was like yeah sure they proceeded to tell me their entire life story which involved several deaths and horrible things #which left me in a very awkward position of Um What Did You Want My Advice For Specifically #but like i was fine!! i was the Responsible Adult who had signed up for this #and they were a teen who needed someone to listen to them!!

[natjennie]

i want to explain my mental illnesses to robin and have him like nod and grunt along while i talk and then hum really sagely and give some beautiful touching life advice like "brain not bad just.. different. I've seen a lot of people. we all different. world would be big boring if everyone was the same. you just better at some things and worse at other things. that why we all work together, help each other. sometimes you fight mammoth and sometimes you stay in cave with babies. it all come out in the wash."

#yknow what i mean #anyway im doing normal. #that pikmin tandori song thing but its me getting through the day thinking about robin #bbc ghosts #and then you explain the same thing to pat #and he's like 'ah yeah course there's nothing wrong with it' #'we once had a boy- peter his name was- stuck a whole pack of gum up his nose one piece at a time' #'an absolute nightmare that was- had a right awful time in accident and emergency that night-' #'but anyway-' and just tell like crazy stories about people in his life being nd. and like 'still loved him at the end of the day' #'and he was the best artist I'd ever seen- I'm telling you he'd be painting with mud on the tarpaulin like bloody euclid' #and robin's like 'you mean michaelangelo'

[cherubytes]

ultrakill is the only fandom where i've actually enjoyed the fact that people will literally ship anyone with anyone

#it usually bothers me a bit like. c'mon there's more interesting things to focus on #but the dynamics people come up with over here. they catch my attention #yes i will read your essay on this important characters relationship with Random Enemy number 3. please tell me more <3 #also its funny sometimes #i just saw sisyphus/sisyphean insurrectionist. i never would have thought about that but i love it #ig when no character is even slightly normal every dynamic just has its own interesting thing idfk #and the fact that half the characters are just straight up blank slates #there's stuff that makes me roll my eyes a bit obv i dont like everything. but i've never enjoyed this many dynamics at once #ramblings #ultrakill

[anna-scribbles]

h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work

unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion

#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad #because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid #i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back #i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades #i might be able to snag a short nap before work #but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen #WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE #well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway #OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal. #anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently #emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it #and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry #so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever? #and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this?? #also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m #so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point #anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari #after escaping her british nobility life #and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course. #and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known #and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates. #and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time #also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w #but at least he’s still obsessed with her #this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either. #ml #anna rambles #asks

[panharmonium]

Man, these past few days...so many thoughts. About my life then, my life now. What I missed. Thoughts about what I'll never have. And what I want to have.

#gilmore girls #this episode is another one where it's like #lorelai had this huge horrible thing happen #and instead of making it about her she turns the whole situation into an opportunity to do something great for rory #she takes rory to the college of her dreams and doesn't give away even the slightest hint of wistfulness #when it triggers all these thoughts about what she missed and what she gave up to be rory's mom #rory comes out of a college classroom so excited about 'college is gonna be amazing; i can't wait; i love college; i love harvard! #and lorelai just makes space for rory to be giddy #and tells her how amazing she is and how she blew everyone in the classroom away #without ever once letting on that she has painful emotions about her own missed opportunities #she makes this whole trip into an opportunity for rory to celebrate and revel in her upcoming future #even when lorelai's own intended future has just collapsed! #anyway i'm learning to make gg gifs myself so i don't have to put my bookends thoughts on other people's sets #but this one really is the most bookends vibes #vague bookends thoughts #*

[perotovar]

PEDRO PASCAL in “Hope” for Style Magazine | Part 1 for @deathswaywardson

#pedropascaledit #ppascaledit #hope #oaks #deathswaywardson #*waves* hi pedro fandom #i haven't made gifs in years #but this lovely man has brought me back #so i'll probably make shit people already have and didn't know it lol #also can someone tell me why the quality drops once the gif is on tumblr vs on ps? #did something change? #also idk when to post things so lmao #g:pp #pedrito

[turtleblogatlast]

Do you ship any of the turtles with anyone? or do you ship anything in rise at all?

(This ended up being a lot longer an answer than I intended hoo boy sorry about that)

Hmmm, I’m not too big a shipper tbh! Especially since I really enjoy canon interactions backing my ships, so it’s hard for me to actively like any that don’t really have that going for them. There’s plenty that I see around that I think are cute, but that’s usually the extent of my thought process for them.

For ships I more actively have, I guess I like AprilxSunita! They’re very very cute and I think they have some huge meet cute energy in their first episode together, and their chemistry is genuinely adorable (plus them being featured means more April screentime which is ALWAYS a good thing.)

I also think AprilxCasey (and when I say Casey I mean our OG girl) is really good, as I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers, and I think they have a lot in common and just bounce off each other very well (not to mention this ship in other iterations of TMNT has a loooooot going for it.)

Keeping the chain going, I think RaphxCasey (again, OG Casey) is also one with a tonnnnn of potential. They have a lot of common characteristics, and considering Raph’s whole thing with Franken-Foot, I really think there’s a lot of room there for a relationship to develop. Plus, like AprilxCasey, Raph and Casey tend to have a close relationship throughout the iterations of TMNT and it would be great to see that more with these two, even if not romantically.

Actually going back to enemies to lovers, I unironically think there’s a ton going for DonniexKendra. I know a lot of people hate this ship, but I don’t and I actually think it could very easily work whether in a love-hate way or a slow burn way. There’s a lot to like here and honestly they’re good together! Kendra is legit Donnie’s type too haha (cute, but mean.)

Lastly, SplinterxDraxum is good…when done right. I really like when people take it and don’t undermine the very real trauma that Splinter has gone through. As I’ve stated a lot, I love me some enemies to lovers, so I can see the potential here. Plus lbr Draxum was down BAD for Lou Jitsu when he first saw him haha.

I think that’s the extent to what I actively like? Everything else usually falls into “aw cute” or “ehhh not for me thanks”. And before you ask YES leosagi is cute and I’ll read fics with it if the premise is appealing, but I’m afraid I need some canon interactions to establish base character dynamics before I actively ship it alas.😔 Super cute though, no hate to it or any of the other CanonxCharacter-they’ve-never-met ships, I genuinely think people should just have fun! And for what it’s worth I really do wish we got a Usagi and Leo interaction in Rise like we have in other iterations.:(

So yeah. Overall, I have a few ships I enjoy, but I fall much more in the “prefer to keep everyone to themselves and make the focus family and friendship” category.

#non au ask #can you tell I’m an enemies to lovers person yet 💀 #I had a dream once that the Fox yokai working for big mama was a teenage employee and he and Leo had a cute thing going on does that count #(the bellhop guy we see often with Big Mama) #that dream had like all of big mama’s employees basically be her adopted children #including frida #(Big Mama’s assistant) #AND Gus #(the guard dog) #so like she was literally big MAMA lol #pretty interesting story tbh too bad it ended when I woke up and I forgot a good 70% of it #lol this is also enemies to lovers I just realized- #but yeah overall I’m mostly a friendship or family platonic dynamics person #pfft of the ones I listed only AprilxSunita was not enemies to lovers wait 😭 #nah but like I’m not really a big shipper tbh #I tend to fast forward through romance plots in shows that don’t focus on romance #and I tend to avoid romance genres in general most of the time #no hate at allll it’s just not typically for me y’know? #I was reallyyyyy scared to post this because people can get MEAN about ships 💀