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imaginejamesandsirius · 4 years

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Soulmate au where Sirius has James's name on his wrist, James thinks he has no soulmate, until BAM! He finds it in some unusual place for a soulmark and there's Sirius Black's name.

Young Sirius Black had a name printed on his wrist, a thick cuff bracelet to cover it as all soulmarks were, and a belly full of hope: James Potter. His parents tried to tell him that soulmates didn't make them automatically allies, but he knew that was only because the name on his wrist was someone from a family they didn't like. Regulus didn't have to deal with any of that, and when they thought Sirius wasn't listening, they told their second son all about soulmates and how they'd always be there for him. So yeah, Sirius knew they were lying to him in the hopes that he'd manage believe them this time.

When James Potter introduced himself, with a large grin and thick rimmed glasses and messy hair standing out like they were too big for the rest of his body, Sirius smiled back and said his name, hoping for a reaction of some sort. He didn't get one.

They talked on the train ride to Hogwarts, and it became increasingly obvious that James didn't recognize him. It was a terrible feeling, realising that James didn't have his name. Sirius belonged to James, that much was clear. It was like a deep feeling seeped into his bones, this knowledge that he belonged to James. He wished that it went both ways, that James belonged to him too.

That would've been nice.

"D'you have a soulmate?" Sirius asked out of the blue one day.

"Nope," James admitted easily. He didn't seem very down about it, but Sirius definitely would've been in his place. Maybe that was because he knew who his soulmate was, though.

"Do you wish you had one?"

"Eh." James shrugged, frowning at a blot of ink that landed on his parchment. "I guess? It sounds nice, the way people talk about it, and my parents are soulmates, but it's hard to miss what you've never had. What about you?"

Sirius blinked. "I have a soulmate." It would be easier if he didn't maybe, but he also wouldn't give up James's name on his wrist.

"Really?" James asked, more surprised than he should've been considering how close they were-- Sirius ignored the fact that this was his first confirmation that James didn't have a soulmate so there was no reason for James to know anything about his.

"Yeah." He tried to inject enough casualness into his voice that James wouldn't pry further, and it worked.

It had been six and a half years since Sirius met James. And with every buggering year that passed, it became more and more bloody obvious that James didn't have Sirius's name for a reason. James readily admitted that he didn't have a soulmark, but that wasn't what did it; Sirius kept fucking up. Because Sirius wasn't a good person. If he had one main trait, it would be selfishness. He kept pulling James into pranks even though he was Head Boy-- and okay, it's not like James really fought him on it, but he also wasn't instigating anymore, which meant that if Sirius didn't suggest it, they didn't do anything-- he did that thing with Snape a couple years ago that had nearly killed Remus and James, and he kept sabotaging James and Lily's relationship. It's not like he put it in his mind to do it, but that's always what ended up happening. Which sucked. Because James was getting mad at him, and Lily was actually pretty cool which just made it worse (she seemed to think it was a sort of hazing that she had to endure to prove she could be part of the group, and that was the same way Sirius attempted to justify it to himself before Remus had flat out said, "Stop trying to break them up, James is still your best mate and that's not going to change because he's dating someone. Sirius could have stood for his subconscious taking it to heart but whatever).

Anyways, James didn't have his name because Sirius was a complete and absolute berk who didn't deserve being shackled to him for the rest of his life.

"Sorry," Sirius said as soon as he sat on the couch.

"Should I be worried?" Lily asked, her tone flat as she showed how clearly she wasn't worried.

Sirius snorted. "This is going to be the beginning of a great new friendship."

"Between you and...?"

"You."

Lily looked up from her book at that, blinking at him guilelessly.

Fuck she really didn't know. Sirius thought by this point everyone knew he was in love with James, even though neither Remus nor Peter had come out and admitted as much to his face. And if she didn't know that, did she have a reason for why he was being such an arse, or did she just think that's how he was? Either way, that behaviour was coming to an end. Sirius gave her a smirk that looked more like a pained grimace; he wasn't used to apologising even though he had plenty to apologise for. "I've been an arse and I'm sorry. Worried you were going to take James from me, y'know?"

"Not judging, but that's kinda stupid. I'm his girlfriend, you're his best mate. It's not like we're both dating him or summat."

That hurt more, but if she hadn't noticed before, she wasn't going to notice now. "Yeah I figured that out. Rather," he added with a dramatic eye roll, "Moony got so annoyed that he whacked me over the head with his History of Magic essay until I listened to him. I haven't been very nice to you. I'm surprised he hasn't killed me for it yet, to be honest."

"I didn't take it personally," she said with a shrug. "I'm not sure you like anyone other than James. And occasionally Peter and Remus," she tagged on thoughtfully. "Anywho, you will be forgiven shortly, just as soon as I believe it won't keep happening."

"Well here's hoping I don't reclaim being a dumbarse."

Lily chuckled. "Here's hoping."

James showed up on Sirius's doorstep, one hand stuck in his hair like he couldn't bear to be in a normal stance. There was a nervous energy about him, but it wasn't tragic like they'd lost somebody else in the war. "What's wrong?" Sirius asked when he came in, barely finishing the second word before James was blurting out an answer.

"Lily's pregnant."

Sirius's heart stopped. When it started again, it was painful where it beat in his chest, like his ribcage had shrunk at the same time his heart grew and now it was strangled but trying desperately to continue on like nothing had changed. "What?"

"So we're- y'know- getting married only she wants to have it soon, like before she starts to show at all, so I was thinking you could help."

"What?"

"To, y'know, throw the wedding together. I have no idea what goes into it, but you're my best man so you'd have to help anyways, right? And you always pick good flowers and shite, so it makes sense to apply it to weddings, y'know?" James was saying 'you know' a lot, like maybe if he said it enough, Sirius would stop being confused.

"Best man?" Sirius repeated dumbly. He'd never felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest before. He wouldn't recommend it.

"Lily's kind of freaking out, so Marlene and Mary and Dorcas are all at our place comforting her, and they sorta kicked me out, so like, I dunno, maybe they're planning it so you won't have to?"

Did James think the best friend of the groom was traditionally the one to plan the wedding? Or did he assume that Sirius was going to do it because he was used to Sirius taking care of things? "James," Sirius said, and James looked over at him like he was hearing him for the first time since showing up. "Pregnant?"

"Hmm? Yeah, apparently condoms aren't a hundred percent effective, who knew? And her birth control pills aren't very reliable, guess we had an unlucky night, you know? She's only two months in, so we've got a month to the wedding, if that helps."

Pregnant. And all James had to say about it was that they had an unlucky night? Sirius frowned. "James, do you want to marry her?"

"We're having a kid, we're going to be a family." He stated it like fact, and Sirius took a grounding breath and let it go. If he argued this and won, then what? Lily would have to raise a kid by herself, James would be miserable with guilt, and for every minute afterwards, Sirius would have to wonder if he did it for James's sake or his own.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Unfortunately, now that James was paying attention, he was really paying attention. He caught the strange note in his tone and asked, "What do you mean?"

Sirius shrugged, the lie coming out of his mouth before his brain thought of it. "Her soulmate."

"Shit. I didn't even think about that." James rubbed at his forehead, but he wasn't dissuaded from the whole idea, Sirius could tell that much just from looking at him. "We'll deal with it when she meets him, but right now there's a baby on the way and we have to think of the sprog first. Besides, she probably won't meet him for years, so we'll be out of the war and the baby will be older and- I mean, everything will be easier, then, you know?"

No. "Sure." Things weren't going to be easier in three years or twelve, but at least there wouldn't be a war on. Their issues would be smaller, but it wouldn't feel any better for James to be dealing with it.

Lily and James were both in hospital, and Sirius was taking care of Harry while the remaining Death Eaters were rounded up. It was pretty easy since he'd learned all his babysitting talents alongside James's self imposed parenting lessons while Lils was pregnant. Harry was easily entertained by Padfoot, but getting to sleep and waking up were the absolute worst. Harry knew Sirius, no question, but he always wanted Lily when he woke up, and he wanted one of his parents (sometimes both) when he was going down. Sirius wasn't getting much sleep, but it was more than he'd gotten while pulling shifts at the Auror's office in the day then running for the Order at night.

Harry's soulmark was barely starting to develop, on the bottom of his right foot. It was little more than a grey smudge at the moment, but by his second birthday, the name would be clear. Harry would learn first how to write his name, then how to write his soulmate's. That's how Regulus had learned, and Sirius knew he would've done the same had their parents not been so hellbent on him not attaching himself to James. As always, the thought made him snort in amusement; they'd never been able to control him, not from the moment he was five years old and decided their rules were stupid and outdated.

Sirius ruffled Harry's hair as he played with two stuffies, his hair already dark and thick on his head.

James was gingerly getting out of the shower when he saw his soulmark for the first time in his entire life. Lily was probably still on the couch, too weak to make it further on her own. He'd offered to help, but they'd separated while hiding from Voldemort in that small house, and things were still awkward between them. Knowing that they cared about each other but weren't in love was just... it made sense but he was never going to admit that to her.

While in hospital, they'd shaved his head so they could do some sort of surgery or potion soaking, he had no idea. One of the side effects was getting the chills at all times of the day, so he'd had a hat on the whole time. No one that talked to him had seen it, which was why he was frozen in shock when he saw dark writing on the side of his head in the mirror.

He shuffled closer, tilting his head and leaning in until he was nearly pressing his face against the cool surface. It was hard to read from this distance and with it backwards, but it was a name he knew as well as his own: Sirius Black.

Sirius? But-. It made sense-- it definitely did, the knowledge that Sirius was his soulmate clicked into place like it had always been there-- but why hadn't Sirius said anything? Sirius knew where his soulmark was, he knew who it was, and he hadn't said anything. James had thought he didn't have a soulmate, but with his name on his wrist, Sirius had proof that he did, so why didn't he tell him? Sure they'd been eleven at the time they met, but Sirius didn't know that James thought he was without a soulmate until they were fourteen; that was three years of being best mates, where Sirius could have told him and didn't.

He wanted to grab his wand and apparate over to his flat and demand answers, but even with all the healing potions and the two week long stay in hospital, he couldn't move very quickly. It took him far too long to towel dry, and even longer to get his fumbling limbs through the proper sleeves. He pulled the hat on automatically, paused, then pulled it further down. He wasn't ashamed, but he was still too damn cold all the time and if Sirius hadn't told him, he must have a reason.

James made his way out of the loo and over to the living room. Lily was sitting on the couch, but she'd changed. "How do you feel?"

"Like I nearly got cut in half," she said, because that was basically what had happened. How she survived it long enough for help to arrive was a mystery to everyone, including the healers. "You?"

"Like I'm walking through ice." Both for speed and the bloody temperature. "You okay if I go visit Sirius?"

Lily shifted, then grimaced and held a hand to her stomach. "Try calling him, I'm not sure travelling that far is a good idea."

They'd both been banned from floo travel and any apparation up to a certain range. Flying was, of course, out of the question. James sighed, knowing she was right. "Yeah." He turned and started hobbling towards his room. It took a while, but he made it, landing on the armchair with more force than he should've allowed himself. He tapped the mirror and waited for Sirius to answer. Harry should be in the middle of his nap, so hopefully there wouldn't be any way for Sirius to get out of talking to him.

"Hey, what's up?" Sirius asked, his smiling face replacing James's in the mirror.

"Who's your soulmate?" he blurted out, not wanting to deal with small talk when he could only think about this one topic.

Sirius blinked, smile fading quickly. "What?"

"Your soulmate, who is it?"

"It doesn't matter."

It doesn't matter. His soulmate was James, and he was saying that it didn't matter. To his face. Well. A little disconnected, but it was still to his face. "How can it not matter?"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "It just doesn't. Since when do you care? We've talked about it, like, twice and it was ages ago. Nothing's changed. At the end of the day, everything is just as it was when we first met, and nothing's every going to come of-"

"You're full of shite."

He blinked, taken aback. "I- what?"

"You heard me, you're full of shite. You have my name, that changes things."

Sirius's eyes went wide, and he broke the connection.

"Wait, don't-"

His face faded entirely from view, and all that was left was James scowling at himself.

"Bugger." This is why he'd wanted to speak in person. Disapparation was going to be better than trying to floo, so he stuck his head out his door and yelled, "Lily, I'm going to talk to Sirius!"

"Can't it wait?" she called, only she was smart and used a spell to amplify her voice instead of trying to shout.

"No!"

"Fine, but I won't visit you in hospital, I just got out!"

"That's fine!" Then he closed his door and turned on his heel, appearing in Sirius's living room with a pop. He turned in a circle looking for him, and he stumbled to a halt when he saw him in the kitchen, hands planted on the counter and looking half furious, half miserably sad.

"You know James," he said, voice low and hurt, "when I ended the conversation, it meant I didn't want to talk about it. It didn't mean 'come over and bother me when you should be home resting'. What are you doing here?"

"I think it's pretty obvious."

"You could've hurt yourself. Go back home."

"And risk hurting myself further? That's not a very good plan."

Sirius glared at him, but his expression still had that edge of being indescribably upset with him. James had no bloody idea why he looked like that, and that's why he was here.

"I'm not leaving until we talk about this."

Sirius swallowed thickly, and even from this distance, James could see his adam's apple bob with the motion. It looked like he was going to say something, so James waited. It took him another minute to figure out what he wanted to say, and his voice was hoarse as he asked, "How'd you find out?"

James blinked. Of all the things he'd expected to hear, that was not one of them. How the hell did Sirius think he knew? There was only one way for him to know, and Sirius wasn't stupid.

"I never told anyone," he continued, staring down at the empty counter with unseeing eyes, "and it's not like you've talked to my parents about it. Did you just- figure it out? I was obvious, right?" He gave a humorless laugh. "Too obvious. There's- there's no way you barely figured it out. You must've known for a while." He swallowed again. "Are you taking Harry?"

James blinked, tried to figure out what the hell he was talking about, then blinked again when nothing came to him. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He walked closer, then pulled the hat off. It felt weird to have his head so uncovered, but it was important for Sirius to see his soulmark. James turned so the mark would be facing Sirius and tapped his finger against it. "I thought I didn't have one."

Sirius blew out a harsh breath. "Yeah that's because you d-" he stopped abruptly. He must have looked up and seen what James was showing him. "What is that," he whispered.

"Soulmark." James glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, then put the hat back on to face him. "I never saw it, obviously. By the time it formed I had hair and I never had any reason to chop it all off." He rubbed at the spot on his head through his hat.

"So- what? You're here to tell me that we should hook up?" Sirius asked incredulously, tears brimming in his eyes. "Did you forget that you're married? You have a family, remember?"

"Lily and I split."

Sirius scoffed. "Right cause that's so much better. Being your soulmate rebound." He wiped harshly at his eyes. "No thanks."

"Months ago. We split before the attack," he added so it made more sense, "months ago."

"You don't want me James," he said, the admittance sounding too much like heartbreak. "You didn't want me before, and you don't want me now. Go back home. Nothing's changed."

"Home is where you are."

Sirius started shaking his head, and when he looked up again, he was angry. He was crying, but he was pissed off. "You're a fucking liar James. I've always needed you a hell of a lot more than you've needed me and everyone's always known that. You moved on. You got buggering married and had a kid, you bought a house, you- and look at me!" he yelled throwing his arms out to gesture to his flat. It was the same one his uncle had given him his last year of Hogwarts, and he'd never bothered to make it truly his. It had his shit in it, and that was it. He didn't redecorate, he hadn't hung up any art or bought a different couch from the one that had been in it since the beginning.

"There was a war, you didn't have time to-"

"I had time," Sirius cut in, expression twisting, "but I kept hoping you'd come back and tell me we should get a place. Getting everything I want, aren't I?"

James walked over and pulled him in a hug.

"What're you doing?" Sirius asked, pushing weakly against him.

"You were making me sad," James mumbled, holding him tighter. "You talk like I don't care about you, and you're a second choice to the family I wanted."

Sirius sniffled and didn't say anything.

"Like I didn't choose you first. Before we got married, Lily, she- she told me that she knew you were first to me. She didn't even care, can you believe that? It's been obvious all along that we weren't going to end up together. Hell, the only reason we got married was because she got pregnant."

"Yeah well. That's great for you." Sirius raised his arms to hug him back and turned his face into James's shoulder.

James sighed, knowing that he'd have to admit something he'd planned on keeping to himself for his entire life, if he wanted Sirius to believe that this wasn't some instant love soulmate bullshit. "I never told you how I felt-"

Sirius snorted, and James ignored that.

"-because I knew you had a soulmate. You told me what it meant to you, and I just- I didn't think I could handle that: having you only to lose you the moment you met them. I thought it was for the best."

"Liar," Sirius said, but it was less accusing than it had been before. "You- you never- it-."

"I love you," James whispered, and the words hung in the air as tangible as an owl.

Sirius shivered. "You can't be kidding, James. Not now, not about this."

"I'm not. I love you, and we don't have to jump into this, but I missed you so buggering much. Not getting to see you every day was torture, please let me stay. Actually," he amended a second later, "you should come home. Me and Lily have missed Harry, and I know you like our place better than this."

"I don't think Lily would be okay with me moving in," Sirius protested, but it was weak; he wanted to be convinced.

"Lily likes you better than me," James said. It was a little strange that that was true. "If I'm still living there, you can definitely live there."

Sirius said, "You're such a prick," but he relaxed against James.

#prongsfoot #marauders #fanfic #james potter #sirius black #lily evans #harry potter #brief james/lily #filled #getting together #soulmates #first war #post first war #james lives #siriuslystarbucks #awkward-ame

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tadasgay · 5 years

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the shitty summer camp au you didn’t ask for but definitely deserve

@jilychallenge | vs @diggorye 😘😘😘

prompt: “i got lost on this campground at night and i am so sorry i thought this was my tent and now i’m waking up next to you and um hi this is just a little awkward” camping AU

(originally this was a lot longer but it had to be cut because i couldn’t find it in me to be happy with where it was going. this au rly warrants a 40k word fic written by someone who is not me)

___

The only bad part about summer camp, Lily thinks, is that when your sister decides to call you at one in the morning to ask if you’ve taken her hair straightener with you (to camp) and if you could please stop stealing her stuff (which you haven’t), is that you have to walk around in the dark for ten minutes before you can get even a hint of reception (if you’re lucky). And then, of course, you have to listen to your sister accuse you of taking stuff you don’t even want nor need for another twenty minutes, in the dark, alone, in the middle of nowhere, where anyone could creep up on you, and then the last thing you’ll ever hear as some weirdo without a life artfully murders you is your sister whisper-shouting about how you really need to stop taking her stuff without asking.

Something should be done about this, really.

“Come on, Tuney.” She sighs, one thumb between her brows as if that can single-handedly hold the oncoming wrinkles back. The light outside the tutors’ cabins suddenly seem very far away. “My phone’s about to die. Could we please do this when I’m not standing in a bush?”

She hears Petunia suck air in deeply on the other end through her teeth. “Lily, you’re not seven anymore. You can’t just skirt responsibility every time you get caught doing something wrong.”

“I know that. Which is why if I had stolen your hair straightener, I would have told you already.”

“You’re completely ignoring my point–”

Brightly, Lily goes “okay, bye!” and punctuates it by ending the call.

Let Petunia be mad. It’s much better than Petunia fuming over Lily in a coffin six feet under because she accidentally tripped over a root in the middle of the night and died. They probably wouldn’t find her body for at least six more hours. Rigor mortis would have done all sorts of funky things to her body by then. Think of the children, she telepathically tells Petunia, across all those kilometres, it’s enough to traumatise anyone for life.

There’s enough light from the moon to get her back to the tents. She remembers to dodge the beginnings of a shallow creek just outside the spindly trees she’d been hiding in; to walk around the prickle patch separating Mary’s and Regulus Black’s tents. The grass sighs as a gentle wind passes over it, and she is a shadowy girl, filling the night.

She unzips the opening to her tent as quietly as she can and shimmies over to her designated corner. Her clumsy hand bumps into someone sleeping on top of her sleeping bag in the darkness; she might need to have another word to Dorcas about keeping to her own side in the morning.

She lays down, banishes all thoughts of Petunia and missing hair straighteners, and dreams.

___

She wakes some time before sunrise, or some time quickly after she’d fallen asleep; she’s not too sure. There’s something unusually heavy on her torso, and when she sleepily pushes it off her, she realises that something is not quite right.

James Potter stares at her from her side. There’s enough light from the distant moonlight to see that he’s somewhere between confused and horrified, snatching his arm back like he’s been burned.

“What are you doing here?” She whispers loudly.

“I could ask the same of you.” James retorts.

“I–” Lily starts, looks around the tent, and realises with sudden clarity that she doesn’t need to have a word with Dorcas in the morning. For starters, Dorcas isn’t here. Secondly, there is no way Dorcas got replaced by the sleeping forms of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Doctor Who style. “I am totally in the wrong tent.”

“How’d you get in here?” Laughter lurks between the letters.

“Through the zipper.”

“Why are you here?” He corrects.

“It’s not like it was intentional.” She whispers hotly. The worst thing she could do right now is wake up the others and be subject to even more humiliation. It’s one thing for James to relay the series of events to his friends, quite another for them to experience it with him.

A quick note about James Potter: calling him a walking headache would be too much of a compliment. He’s committed a long list of atrocities, including kicking a ball at Dorcas on the first day during the welcome party and not apologising; very loudly calling Evan Rosier a ‘gossipy creep’, which is true, but she still wouldn’t have said it to his face in front of everyone; and being very annoyingly attractive from every possible angle.

Their two brief and infrequent interactions had been enough for Lily to understand that he was pretty, and funny, but foolheartedly arrogant, and kind of a total prat. Like, what kind of person won’t stop touching their hair? Or thinks it’s funny to try cover their own friend in craft glue? Don’t they know that trying to get that stuff off is akin to human torture?

She is getting used to living with the unfolding mystery of herself, and being into James Potter is just something she’s going to have to accept.

Once she lives this down.

“Hey, you don’t have to leave.” He goes when she starts to roll herself off the mattress. “McGonagall made Peter clean the kayaks for sneaking into Bertha Jorkins’s tent the other night.”

She makes a face, not that he can see it. “Well, that’s what he gets for trying it on with Bertha and then telling everyone about it.This is entirely a mistake.”

“You wanna explain to her how you got in here in the – what? Middle of the night? What were you doing out there, anyway?”

“If you must know,” her voice is clipped, even in a whisper, “I had an urgent family phone call.”

“In the middle of the night?”

“That’s not important!”

“What is important, though,” he sounds far too earnest, “is that McGonagall will at the very least take your phone off you if you get caught gallivanting between tents in the dark, even if you’re her favourite. So you don’t need to feel bad about staying here. Unless you’re super uncomfortable with it.” He adds quickly, because apparently he’s not as prattish to his core as he’s made himself out to be. “I’ll stay to my own side and everything.”

She ignores the tell-tale beat of her wanting heart. Why does he have to be considerate? Doesn’t he know what he’s doing to her poor, delicate heartstrings? “I don’t think you’re trying to do anything untoward with me. But I can’t ask you to stay on your own side of your bed.”

“Good thing you’re not asking. I’m offering.”

This moment, at age seventeen, with a cute boy in the dark, should be a moment magical enough to fall in love. It isn’t. But it should be.

Really, it’s just extremely awkward.

She swallows, then smiles. “Thanks for not kicking me out of your tent just yet.”

“Any time. I apologise in advance for whatever shit gets stirred in the morning.”

She lies back down, leaving an ample amount of space between them. She’s on the very edge of the top of the sleeping bag, but she’s had worse sleeping arrangements – namely, being slept on top of by Dorcas. She doesn’t know how she’s supposed to sleep when her stomach is rolling about like an ocean in a storm, but she’ll certainly try.

Her mouth is dry when she goes, “well, I’d say it’s better than cleaning kayaks.”

“Jesus, would you two shut up?” Sirius says.

___

(Later, Lily will think that a summer romance should go like this:

They fall in love at first sight. It’s meant to be a punch to her plexus, followed by everything you’re meant to feel when you fall in love; like they’re unwinding into each other, like their hearts beat as one, yada yada yada. She is not supposed to trip over her tongue around a cute, brash boy, or get into his tent, or have her friends manipulate them into spending time alone together. She is supposed to be confident and cocksure and charming. She’s meant to dazzle him with her smile and wit.

Later, Lily will think that, perhaps, the whole thing is total bullshit.)

___

PETUNIA: Found it. PETUNA: Antonia from across the road was borrowing it x

#jilychallenge #jily #fanfiction #maybe one day i'll clean up the 3k other words and post it :+)

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sirius · 5 years

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Young gods Part 4

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader, Remus Lupin x Reader, Regulus Black x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Word count: 6108

A/N: ahhh I’m getting through it!! Man this was tricky but I’m really happy with this chapter. I hope to get the next chapter out before Christmas but I can’t promise anything as I want to finish a chaos theory chapter before then too and then - yeah. But anyway, here you go ❤️

Chapter Four: Come out and Play or Wild World

As soon as you step into the empty room late Thursday night, you know you’re in too deep.

You and Kaitlyn stand side-by-side, scanning the room for any signs of movement. There’s no one around, the stillness cold and eery, like a breath of icy, graveyard air. Shadows creep across the walls and hang from the corners like demons, recoiling from the beam of light pouring from the tip of your wand.

Kaitlyn mutters a counterspell for the invisibility charm she cast on herself, and her form shimmers, revealing herself.

“Potter did tell us the correct password?” Kaitlyn asks, wrapping her cloak around herself a little tighter.

“Yes,” you murmur, scanning the shadows, “We have the right time and password, though I thought it was a bit odd that he said for us to ‘imagine’ the perfect hiding place.”

Kaitlyn throws her hands up in the air in frustration, “Well then where are they? We’re completely alone-”

“You’re not alone,” says a masculine voice that wrenches through the silence, and you clamp a hand across your mouth to swallow the gasp rising to your lips as Kaitlyn staggers backwards.

James Potter emerges from out of thin air, his trademark smirk curving deviously. Your shock fades into embarrassment and slight irritation as you stare at him, gently tugging on the pendant of your necklace with trembling fingers. Kaitlyn, however, has been reduced to stunned silence as she gapes at him for a moment. Finally, she swallows, her cheeks an intriguing shade of red as she finds her voice.

“P-Potter,” she splutters, “How did-?”

“Invisibility cloak,” you and James both say in unison, and James winks at you.

“Y-you actually have an invisibility cloak?” Kaitlyn stammers, eyes wide with both shock and awe.

“Yeah. It’s a family heirloom,” James shrugs casually, “Alright, everyone, they’re alone. You can come on out now.”

It’s quite spectacular to watch, actually. Cracks climb up the walls as they shudder and peel, splitting them in half, regurgitating several figures that had been hiding inside of them.

James whips his wand from his pocket and mutters a counterspell, and suddenly, the strange iciness that had shrouded the room melts away, helping you to visibly relax in James’ presence. James senses your slight confusion and his smirk quirks.

“Handy little charm that repels intruders,” James explains, “If they’re not supposed to be here, they feel too spooked to enter...its kind of like that feeling you have to walk down a dark corridor in the middle of the night.”

“You’re saying that you’re scared of the dark?” Kaitlyn snips, a teasing brow raised in defiance as she stares at James. She seems to have recovered her sass.

“Oh, he’s terrified,” says a warm voice, and you break into a smile as Remus Lupin steps forward, dusting concrete from his clothes.

“Hey Remus,” you smile, softly, your heart shuddering in your chest like petals caught in a spring breeze.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Remus smiles back at you, lips curving into an amicable smile as he regards you fondly in the moonlight.

Kaitlyn and James exchange a look, stifling a laugh. Kaitlyn leans into you, murmuring out the side of her mouth, “How is it that I’m the one with glasses but you’re the one who is blind to what’s right in front of her.”

Your brows knit together in mild confusion as you stare at Kaitlyn. Her smirk, all-knowing and slightly calculating, unsettles you for reasons you can’t quite pinpoint yet. You cut your gaze away from her, face warm, and turn to Remus.

Your eyes sweep across him, noting every detail of his face cast in cool shades of white and grey, his dark blue eyes almost grey in the moonlight.

“Oh, you have a bit of...” you trail off, stepping towards him and raising nimble fingers to his shoulder, gently flicking dust from his vest, though - secretly - both of you aware that it’s just an excuse to touch him.

“Thanks.”

You step away from him and glance at Kaitlyn. She’s watching you, a sharp brow raised teasingly, wearing that same, knowing smirk that rankles you as you flush beneath her teasing gaze.

Fortunately, you’re saved by Sirius Black, who strides into the room and draws Kaitlyn’s attention from you to him.

“Prongs,” he murmurs, “Wormy and I have secured the area. No one followed them,”

Sirius glances at you indifferently, his hands lazily shoved into his pocket. You blink at him, alarmed by the lack of your body’s response to him. Usually, you’d be reduced to stammering lips and a clumsy heart, but tonight, all you feel is unease.

Kaitlyn is livid.

“Why does he have to be here?” Kaitlyn snaps, addressing James as she jabs a finger in Sirius’ direction.

Sirius’ bark of a laugh punctures the air, mirthlessly, “Didn’t anyone tell you, sweetheart? I’m a Marauder just as much as James, Peter and Remus are...”

Kaitlyn steps toward him, fists clenched at her sides, “Call me ‘sweetheart’ again and I will tear you to shreds,”

“And I believe you,” Sirius drawls, lazily, as though he’s bored already.

“You’re an asshole.”

“And you’re a bitch.”

“Would you two stop it already?” James snips, glancing between the two of them, “In case you didn’t realise, we have bigger problems than your little pissing contest.”

“For once, I agree with you,” a sweet, melodious voice says from behind you, and you whirl around, spotting the most popular girl in school, Lily Evans. Her arms are folded across her chest, a teasing smirk pulling at the edges of her lips as she steps toward you.

James shoots a hand through his hair, “I guess today is the day for miracles.”

Lily rolls her eyes, though an amused smile plays tantalisingly on her lips, “Everyone’s out and ready, Potter, so when you’re ready...”

James nods importantly, suddenly serious in a way that seems uncharacteristic to the Marauder. He strides forward and flicks his wand, and golden light suddenly floods the room, washing the walls and spilling over the large, round table and chairs arranged, in a circle.

Kaitlyn’s eyes widen as she glances toward to corridor, and you sense her discomfort. Lily does, too, and she rests a comforting hand on Kaitlyn’s shoulder.

“Anyone looking in will see nothing but a blank wall,” Lily explains, softly, “This room is specially enchanted to our needs.”

“We call it the Room of Requirement,” Remus adds, leaning across to whisper in your ear.

“How did you find it?” You murmur, and Remus nods toward Sirius in response.

“Sirius found it. Don’t know how, though I have a sneaking suspicion that it has something to do with the Greengrass twins and a couple of bottles of Fire whiskey.”

You cringe, turning back to Sirius. He looks so incredibly handsome, hair thick and expression firm, all razor-sharp edges that remind you of switchblades and motorbikes, half-empty bottles of whiskey and crumpled Marlborough packets littered across a bedroom floor.

Sirius glances at you and you snap your gaze away, biting down on your lip.

For the first time since you’ve arrived, you take in your surroundings and notice that there are other people gathered together, too.

Lily’s four friends are here; Marlene Bishop, Mary McDonald, Emmeline Vance and Dorcas Medowes are seated at the circular table, all of them murmuring, deep in serious conversation with-

“Professor Dumbledore?” Kaitlyn mutters, glancing at you.

Dumbledore tears his eyes away from his conversation with Marlene and Mary and smiles at you, eyes twinkling with that strange magic that seems to usually hum around him.

“Ah, our newest members,” Dumbledore exclaims, cheerily, “Welcome. Please, take a seat.”

Dumbledore gestures to a couple of empty seats, inviting you to sit with him. You and Kaitlyn glance at each other, and she shrugs, walking ahead of you and dropping into a spot next to Emmeline Vance.

You meekly approach the table, Sirius and Remus following behind, before you take your seat between Kaitlyn and Remus. James paces toward the door and calls Peter inside, and Peter follows James into the room, taking a seat next to Sirius. James stands next to Dumbledore, and the Headmaster claps his hands together.

“Now that we have everyone here,” Dumbledore begins, eyes scanning the faces around the table, “We can commence our weekly meeting. James, would you like to start?”

James nods, “Right, well, this week, there was only one new recruit...” James throws a nervous glance at Sirius, “Regulus Black.”

Dumbledore nods forlornly, as though this news does not surprise him, “When did this happen?”

“Last night,” James answers, then sighs, “It sounded as though Snape was testing him.”

“Preparing him for the slaughter,” Sirius grumbles, darkly, glaring dangerously at the centre of the table. James continues, though not without a sidelong glance at Sirius.

“Snape also confirmed our suspicions about spies being in other classes. He knew a lot about Regulus’ Potion class, including his partner.”

“I see,” Professor Dumbledore muses, calmly, “And what would you classify Regulus as?”

James hesitates, “While I would normally say he’s a three, judging by what I saw last night, I’d say he’s somewhere between two and three.”

Your fingers find your moon-crescent pendant and fiddle with it, fingers following the curves and edges absentmindedly. What does he mean by ‘three’ and ‘trialled’? You glance around the room, finding only serious faces listening attentively to Dumbledore and James. They all seem to understand...everyone except you. Shame overwhelms you, burning in your cheeks.

If you muster up the courage and energy to ask, you’ll be interrupting the meeting and risk looking like a complete idiot. They’ll realise that recruiting you was a mistake and cast you out, reasoning that your ignorance isn’t worth them getting caught.

Deciding to stitch your lips together and swallow your words, you try to ignore your spiralling thoughts as your cruel imagination escapes with your fears, painting vivid scenarios where you eventually end up punished for your own confusion.

You’ll probably catch on along the way...

“We judge the new recruits on different classifications,” murmurs a soft voice, gently tickling in your ears. You nearly jump at the suddenness of it, and you glance over your shoulder to find Remus leaning in close to your ear. Sensing your unease, he places a gentle, comforting hand on your shoulder.

“What are they?” You ask, your voice a barely a whisper.

“Someone who is a One is joining due to fear,” Remus explains, muttering in an undertone, “Meaning they’re only joining to keep themselves, their family and or their friends safe. It also means that they’re more pliable than the other two Classifications.

“A Two is judged on hesitation. If they show even a glimpse of hesitation, then they can be guided, though the difficulty varies depending on the person.

“The final classification is a three, and Threes are the most difficult to convince. They are usually joining because they are drawn to Voldemort’s power and they want it. Persuading them is the hardest, though I don’t believe it’s not impossible. Just because no one has been able to convince them otherwise thus far, doesn’t mean we still can’t.”

You nod, biting your lip as you process this new information.

“In saying that, Regulus is the first to be slotted between two classifications,” Remus murmurs, a touch of surprise lacing his words, “He must be pretty confused.”

A twinge of guilt and worry pricks your chest. If Regulus is truly struggling, if he’s buckling under the pressure of discovering his true identity and allegiance, you have no choice but to reach out and reassure him that he doesn’t have to do it alone.

Dumbledore’s heavy sigh draws your attention back to him and you watch as he runs a hand down his thick, long beard, “Has he officially been trialled?”

James shakes his head, “Not that we know of.”

“If I may,” Lily pipes up, raising her hand, “I overheard Snape and Regulus talking at our recent prefect meeting. I think Regulus will be trialled around Christmas.”

“Trialled?” You whisper to Remus and a pinch of anxiety flicks across his face.

“Each new recruit must be ‘trialled’ in order to become a Death Eater. It’s kind of like a pledge of loyalty to Voldemort and all that nonsense.”

“And what do they have to do?”

“It depends,” Remus begins, slowly, “But it always winds up with someone getting hurt. Mary McDonald knows all about it...”

You glance at Mary, who wears a fierce display of determination like a shield on her face. You had heard that she had been a victim of an attack by a gang of Slytherins, yet here she was, standing up for what she knew was right, not caving into fear and letting them win.

“Christmas,” Dumbledore echoes, thoughtfully, “That still gives us some time. If Regulus is unsure about what he’s getting into, he can still be convinced...”

Sirius barks a cold, indignant laugh that shatters the air around you. Everyone turns to him, staring as he leans back in his chair.

“You won’t be able to convince Regulus,” Sirius snips, harshly, “He’s a stubborn, cowardly git and a fool.”

“It takes one to know one,” Kaitlyn mutters angrily beneath her breath.

“He’s not a lost cause,” Marlene pipes up, hopefully, “No one is.”

“I concur,” Dumbledore says, blue eyes glittering behind his half-moon spectacles, “We cannot give up on those who need help and guidance...”

“I’m telling you now, he won’t listen,” Sirius snaps, temper simmering, “He’s too busy being a lap dog for Walburga and Orion to care about anything you say!”

“Which classifies him as a One,” Mary says, carefully, “Which also means that there’s still hope.”

“I sense great agitation in your aura, Sirius,” Emmeline suddenly chimes in, her voice misty and whimsical, “As well as fear, regret, guilt and-”

“–Don’t try that fortune-telling bullshit on me, Vance, I’m not a fool,” Sirius barks, glaring daggers at Emmeline.

“Don’t talk to her like that,” Dorcas snaps, placing a protective hand on Emmeline's shoulder.

“Don’t tell me what to do, Meadowes, just because I don’t want to hear Vance’s scamming pitch.”

“Oh, because you’re so superior to us you’re immediately entitled to do whatever you want without consequence?” Dorcas shouts, springing from her seat. Sirius moves to leap from his seat too, glowering like an angry dog, but James rests a hand on his shoulder with an unspoken warning.

“You know that’s not true,” James chides, voice stern and rich with authority. Dorcas flushes, though her face is still hot with anger, “Superiority has nothing to do with the way Sirius acts.”

“Superiority has everything to do with it!” Dorcas nearly shrieks, her shrill voice bouncing off the walls.

“Calm down, Dorcas,” Marlene hisses through gritted teeth.

“No!” Dorcas barks, incensed and seething, “Sirius can’t just waltz around like he owns Hogwarts. He doesn’t. He’s just an arrogant bully!”

“How dare you?!” Peter growls, leaping to his feet. He’s significantly shorter than the tall and willowy form of Dorcas Meadowes, but his anger seems to overshadow him, casting the room into an uncomfortable heat, “Sirius and James are different, now, and if you had any sense at all you would know that!”

“Excuse me?” Dorcas snarls, her upper lip curling sharply, “Are you calling me senseless?”

“Senseless and, apparently, deaf,” Peter snaps back.

“The only person who is the senseless fool here is Potter for seeing anything worthy in you!”

This time, Remus and Sirius jump up, too, ready to loyally defend James’ integrity as their friend and leader of the group. James, however, remains calm and cool, though there is an intimidating iciness to his voice when he speaks.

“Doubting each other isn’t going to help,” James snips in a tone that makes both you and Dorcas flinch.

“Maybe so,” Mary chimes in, “But it does put things in perspective.”

“Are you forgetting that we were the ones to ask you to join The Order?” Peter snaps.

“No,” Mary says, folding her arms across her chest defensively, “But Dorcas raises an interesting point. How do we know that you aren’t playing for both teams here?”

“How dare you doubt James after everything he’s done for you,” Sirius shouts, fingers clenching into trembling fists by his side. A flicker of guilt crosses Mary’s face, “Out of all of us, James is the most dedicated to this cause, and if you can’t see that, then you’re more of a fool than I originally thought!”

“Enough!” James yells, commanding silence, and everyone in the room obeys, sinking back into their seats. Peter stubbornly crosses his arms over his chest, his round face flushed red with anger as his lips twist into a frown. Dorcas sinks back into her seat, deliberately angling her chair away from Peter and Sirius. You and Remus glance uneasily at each other.

James sighs, raking a hand through his thick, black hair and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “Fighting amongst ourselves isnt going to help. In fact, it’s giving Voldemort what he wants.”

“James is right,” Lily adds, and James flashes an appreciative smile at her, “After all, a wise man once said that if a house is divided against itself, the house cannot stand.”

“Yeah? And who would say something so ridiculous?” Sirius drawls, sardonically and Lily glares at him.

“Jesus,” Lily spits, coldly, “Jesus said that, Sirius. And he was right. How can we expect to fight Voldemort when we’re fighting amongst ourselves?”

“A very good point indeed, Miss Evans,” Dumbledore smiles fondly at Lily and she flushes under his praise, “James, Lily and Jesus are all correct; we can’t let our differences become our weaknesses. Voldemort is expecting any force that raises up against him to fail. Let’s surprise him by staying unified as a team, and remember why we’re doing this. Apart from saving humanity against Voldemort’s schemes, we all have our own personal reasons, after all.”

“Now that we’ve had the opportunity to...erm...express ourselves, we can conclude this meeting with a course of action,” Dumbledore says, calmly, “Despite Mr Black’s input - which we are all grateful for, by the way - I believe we still have a chance to guide Regulus. And it just so happens that I have a plan.”

Subconsciously, everyone leans forward, waiting for Dumbledore to continue.

“Considering that Regulus is both hesitant and impressionable, our usual techniques are not going to be enough to convince him to join our cause,” Dumbledore starts, hands tented together thoughtfully, “I propose that we use subtle manipulation, and I believe the best person to do that is someone who is close to him. Someone who can talk to him freely without it looking suspicious.”

Dumbledore stares pointedly at you while everyone begins to pipe in with suggestions. It’s as though he’s communicating telepathically with you, encouraging you with a gentle glimmer in his eyes, though in a way that reassures you that he won’t be angry if you decline. Deep inside of you, however, you know that it’s the right thing to do and perhaps it’s the memory of your parents or the events of the past couple of days taking a toll on you, because without realising it, you are opening your mouth and stating loud and clear for everyone to hear-

“I’ll do it.”

Dumbledore smiles.

Eleven pairs of eyes turn their gazes to you, pinning you with intense stares. Warm flares beneath your cheeks, but you straighten and steel your spine. Everyone else falls silent, except for Remus and Kaitlyn.

“What?!” They both blurt in unison.

“You are very brave,” Dumbledore commends, warmly.

“(Y/N) shouldn’t have to do this!” Kaitlyn snaps, and Dumbledore turns to her.

“Why not?” Dumbledore asks, calmly, “She is Regulus’ Potion partner, yes? It wouldn’t be suspicious if (Y/N) and Regulus conversed both in class and out of it.”

“Yes,” Remus confirms, uneasily, “But-”

“-Moony, Professor Dumbledore has a point,” James intercepts, his expression thoughtful, “Snape used (Y/N) as a sort of...verbal test...to see if Regulus is ready for the trial. He said that she could be a distraction because Regulus may develop feelings for her. If that’s true, maybe she can convince him using her - erm - charms...”

“By ‘charms’ do you mean her whole ‘sweet and innocent, shy girl’ act?” Sirius asks sarcasm heavy in his words.

“Yeah,” James shrugs, “Besides, it’s not an act, is it (Y/N)?”

You chew your bottom lip as Remus races to your defence.

“James - Professor Dumbledore, if I may - this is all very new to (Y/N)...she doesn’t even have her tattoo yet and-“

“Wait, what tattoo?” Kaitlyn blurts, leaning forward, “Do you-do you all get tattoos?”

“Yeah,” Marlene grins wickedly, “Though it’s more practical than just fancy body scribbling.”

“Our tattoos are hidden on various parts of our body,” Remus explains, “They’re invisible to everyone but true members of the Order, and they light up whenever we need to congregate.”

“What do you mean ‘light up?’” Kaitlyn asks, warily, but before Remus can answer, Sirius jumps up from his seat and tears off his shirt, revealing a coloured Phoenix tattoo on the left side of his ribs. A sharp but tiny gasp escapes your lips at the sight of Sirius shirtless, toned muscles exposed in the low light.

“When we need to meet, the Phoenix ignites,” Sirius explains, pointing to the Phoenix that is currently preening itself, “Not only do you see it, you feel a tickling warmth. Nothing harmful. Actually...it’s kind of nice...”

“I...think we got the point,” Emmeline says in a soft and serene voice, her eyes dragging slowly and appreciatively over Sirius’ form. Dorcas nudges her and Emmeline rolls her eyes, “There is nothing shameful about appreciating the human body.”

Dorcas rolls her eyes and Remus continues, “It’s just an easier way to keep track of each other and to communicate without looking suspicious. Which is why we should think before we send (Y/N) off-”

“-I’ll do it,” you reiterate, this time more firmly, “I’ll...persuade him.”

Dumbledore smiles proudly, eyes glittering like sapphires behind his glasses. You glance around the room and spot Sirius studying you shrewdly, as though really noticing you for the first time. He looks equal parts surprised and impressed.

“Very well,” Dumbledore nods, still smiling.

What have I gotten myself into?

***

Twenty minutes pass, and you’re still asking yourself that very question.

What were you thinking when you agreed to this? You’re not a soldier in this war and you’re certainly not a spy. How were you going to do this? You can barely speak to your Professors, let alone other people. You chew your bottom lip until you taste blonde, anxiety swirling around at the bottom of your stomach like a whirlpool.

You’re shocked out of your reverie when chairs scrape across the ground and everyone begins to move around you, breaking off into their own conversations. You blink, coming back into the present as you automatically rise from your seat and push it in, fingers gripping the back of the chair a little tighter than necessary.

Glancing around, you look for Kaitlyn but realise she’s already gone.

“Do you want me to walk you back?” Remus asks, smiling warmly, “I can ask James for the cloak. I think he’s going to hang back with Dumbledore.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” you smile softly at Remus, “I’ll be fine.”

Remus rests a hand on your shoulder and gives it a small squeeze, “Alright. I’ll see you in the morning, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Remus casts a disillusionment charm on himself and vanishes from your sight. You mimic him and head toward the door, now invisible to the naked eye.

Stepping into the corridor, you make your way toward your common room, gliding down the empty hallway unseen and unheard. When you reach the end, you start to round the corner but come to a sudden stop when you hear the angry murmur of a heated conversation.

Flattening yourself against the wall, you strain your ears to listen.

“-Kamilah know?” You hear Kaitlyn’s voice ask in a low, threatening snarl.

“Know what?” Comes Sirius’ husky retort, clearly feigning confusion.

“Please,” Kaitlyn scoffs, impatiently, “You’re ‘dumb jock’ facade is convincing, but not enough to fool me. You know exactly what I mean.”

“I don’t actually,” Sirius says, “You lost me at the ‘dumb jock’ part.”

“Stop fucking around, Black. Does Kamilah know about your super secret boy band meetings?”

You trap your bottom lip between your teeth, nibbling nervously, taking a risk and peering around the corner hesitantly. Kaitlyn and Sirius are standing face-to-face in a standoff, a metre or so between them. Kaitlyn is tense and firm, composure steeled and shoulders squared as though she were going to bite. Despite her height (she’s the tallest out of you and Kamilah - a fact she is annoyingly proud of), Sirius still has to bend down, looming over her.

“You say ‘boy band’ like it’s a bad thing,” Sirius sneers, lips curling at the edges into a sharp, wolffish smirk.

Kaitlyn scowls, “Is everything a joke to you?”

“What’s wrong with seeing the bright side of life?”

“Everything, when innocent lives are involved...”

Now it’s Sirius’ turn to scoff; it forms at the back of his throat and bursts from his lips like he’s forced it out, “What? You mean Ashton? Because something about her tells me that she isn’t quite as innocent as she seems.”

In the low light, you can see the rage course through Kaitlyn, boiling beneath her skin like a deadly potion. She clenches her jaw and grounds out a warning, “Leave (Y/N) out of this or I swear to Merlin-“

“-Are you in love with Ashton?”

Kaitlyn pauses, caught off guard for a moment. She recovers quickly, though, and steps closer to him, now inches between them,

“You know what? Fuck you. You and Kamilah deserve each other, you’re both disgusting low lives who hurt the one person who actually loves you.”

You hear Kaitlyn begin to stomp away from Sirius briskly but she stops when she hears Sirius’ voice cut through the air.

“Kamilah doesn’t know, by the way.”

Kaitlyn’s heavy footsteps stop, but she doesn’t turn around to face him as Sirius continues, “She doesn’t have to know everything...”

“Well,” Kaitlyn snips, “I thought since you two are apparently dating-“

“-What?” Sirius blurts in surprise.

“You and Kamilah are dating...right?”

A beat of silence passes between the two of them.

“Fuck,” Sirius curses through gritted teeth, “I told her that I didn’t want to get too involved...”

Kaitlyn’s sharp, mirthless laugh splinters the air, “Well, Kamilah has never been good at listening...”

Sirius’ hands are in his hair, and for a moment, you fantasise about how it would feel to tangle your hands in those infamous locks.

“You share a dorm, Yeah? Can you tell her-“

Kaitlyn snorts, “I’m not telling that backstabbing bitch anything! I’m not your owl. Tell her yourself, Black.”

With that, Kaitlyn wheels around and leaves. Sirius sighs, pulling out a flask from his robes and taking a long drag from it.

“I know you’re there, Ashton.”

You freeze, heart caught in a lump in your throat. Sirius pockets his flask, pulls out his wand and points it right at you, muttering Revelio. You gasp as the disillusionment charm melts off you.

“I-um-I-”

Sirius waves a dismissive hand at you, “Whatever. Listen, you impressed me when you said you’d - erm - spy on Regulus. I thought that you’d - I don’t know - I don’t know what I thought you’d do. But I never expected you to volunteer like that.”

You shrug meekly, and Sirius sighs. He takes another swig from his flask and you watch as though in a trance, alcohol glistening on his lips.

“Look,” He begins, awkwardly scratching at the nape of his neck, “I know I’ve been a jerk to you and - um - I’m - I’m fucking shit at apologies so...I’m a shitty person, I deserve to die and unfuck you I guess...”

You chew the side of your cheek thoughtfully and give a simple nod, “It’s-it doesn’t matter, I guess.”

Sirius licks his lips, “No, it does. I...shouldn’t have snapped at you that night and I...I’m sorry.”

Playing with your necklace, you take a moment to study Sirius in the moonlight. There is a soft, pink hue blooming beneath his cheeks from a mixture of the alcohol and embarrassment, and his hair falls gracefully around his face, framing his chiselled features. He looks uncomfortable.

“I’m not after an apology,” you mumble, softly, “I just...You and Kamilah hurt me and I...I know you didn’t do it deliberately but it still hurts, y’know. So I guess...I guess my view of you has changed.”

Sirius cocks a curious eyebrow at you and your cheeks burn in embarrassment, “I’m going to go now so...”

Sirius steps aside and gestures dramatically for you to pass. You start to leave but stop, hesitating.

“You’re not a shitty person, Sirius,” you say, slowly, deliberately, without even realising what you’re saying, “And you certainly don’t deserve to die.”

Sirius’ smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, almost like he has a million reasons why you’re wrong.

***

You have a plan.

Well, sort of.

You have at least half of a plan, and that’s something...

The plan is to apologise, basically. To sit down with Regulus and say that you’re sorry and you want to be friends again. However, you have to do so in a way that doesn’t make him suspicious, and Regulus is naturally suspicious so this is where it becomes rather difficult.

So, you draft a script that hopefully sounds somewhat believable and you screw up every single ounce of your courage, trying to act naturally as you take your assigned seat next to Regulus the next morning in Potions.

“Alright, everyone,” Professor Slughorn begins in a cheery voice, “Let’s start the class with a quick quiz.”

A collective groan issues from the class as Professor Slughorn distributes the quiz sheets, hushing the class with a frown and an impatient tone. He actually beams at you and Regulus as he passes, winking at you as he gently places your quiz in front of you.

“You two will ace this,” Professor Slughorn grins confidently, “This will be a piece of cake to you two.”

Professor Slughorn returns to the front of the class and taps his wand on a large clock perched on his desk. The clock whizzes to life, as though awakening from a slumber, and starts counting down, commencing the quiz.

Grumbles and murmurs trail off into a reluctant silence as everyone begins their quiz, heads bowed and brows creased in concentration. You glance at Regulus, bouncing your knee nervously, recognising the opportunity to strike up a conversation.

“Do-do you know the answer to question eight?” You whisper, stammering over your words, even though you probably knew the answer better than him.

Regulus glimpses at the question, “Um...Flobberworm.”

Wrong.

“Wait-no-Glowworm.”

Correct.

“Thanks,” you whisper, pretending to scribble down the answer.

A beat of silence passes between the two of you, filled with the scratch of quills against parchment. You stare at Regulus as he continues to complete the quiz, and it dawns on you with how hard this actually is, the gravity of the situation nearly crushing you.

Regulus pauses mid-sentence, sensing your intense stare, and glances at you. You cut your gaze away hastily, deciding to take great interest in the clock that now read 3 mins 42 seconds.

You bite down hard on your bottom lip, tasting blood as it oozes across your tongue. Whose bright idea was it to sign me up for this-?

Oh, that’s right.

You glance down at your quiz and decide to try and complete it, your quill dancing across the page. But you’re not even halfway through when the timer goes off and Professor Slughorn sweeps across the room, swiftly taking the quiz from each student.

When he reaches you, his smile fades into a frown as he stares down at your half completed quiz.

“Miss Ashton, you’ve only completed half of your quiz!” Professor Slughorn states in shock.

“Y-Yeah,” You splutter, feeling your cheeks glow as Regulus glances at you, “Sorry I’ve...been distracted.”

Professor Slughorn gives a disappointed hum and continues around the class, shaking his head. Regulus leans forward, frowning at you.

“(Y/N),” he hisses, “What’s going on with you?”

Your mouth flaps open wordlessly, nerves and anxiety bubbling up inside of you.

Stick to the plan, says a voice that sounds conspicuously like Kaitlyn.

You sigh in exasperation, “I’ll tell you after Slughorn’s lecture.”

As predicted, Professor Slughorn begins his lecture and rambles for three-quarters of an hour, pacing up and down the classroom in his usual fashion. When he’s finished and he’s written out instructions for the potion of the day, you reach out and grab Regulus’ arm, tugging gently.

Regulus stops abruptly, heat rushing to his face and seeping into his skin. He glances between you and his arm, as though trying to piece them together.

“I’m...worried about my grandma,” you murmur, tears pricking your eyes, “She’s getting on now and I hate the thought of her alone there at the Ashton mansion. It’s making me think of all the things in my life that I should be appreciating...”

You trail off, biting your lip, drawing Regulus’ eyes to your bottom lip as it’s caught between your teeth. It works; He stares at your lips for a lingering moment, cheeks burning furiously, and when he finally pries his eyes away, he notices the single tear rolling down your cheek.

“O-oh,” he stutters and swallows, “Well, I’m - ah- sorry about your grandma. She’s a lovely woman.”

“She is,” you agree, a flicker of warmth swelling in your chest at the thought of her, “But she’d want me to settle- this-whatever it is between us. Regulus I’m...I’m sorry.”

Regulus’ brows nearly graze his hairline in surprise as he blinks at you, stunned.

“You’re sorry?”

You resist the urge to slap him around the head for making you repeat yourself, instead biting down on the inside of your cheek, “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

Regulus drops back onto his stool, frowning as he processes the new information. He seems to be mentally deliberating, addressing and dismissing his doubts. Finally, he turns back to you, eyes sharpening into a glare.

“Why now?” He snips, coldly, “The last time we spoke, it ended in an argument. What’s changed since then?”

You sit down beside him, covering his hand with your own, “Well, our argument got through to me. It got me thinking about...everything...because what you said was right. I did leave because of Sirius (Regulus bristles at the sound of his brother's name) and look where that got me? My best friend betrayed me to date him behind my back for four months and didn’t even bother to tell me. You were right...it was a waste of time.”

Regulus stares at where your hands are connected, the corners of his lips dropping into a frown.

“You’re telling me that after all this time, you’re ready to be friends again because of your grandma and Kamilah Siad?” He asks in a cool, composed tone. You nod.

Another silence lapses between you. Regulus continues to stare, tangled in a web inside his skull that you know all too well, before finally pulls his hand away.

“I don’t believe you,” he mutters, bitterly, “I don’t know what’s really going on with you, but I’m not going to be in the centre of it.”

You reach out, trailing a finger down his arm, and he sucks in a sharp breath.

“I know you don’t believe me,” you murmur, tears welling in your eyes, “But I know I’m telling the truth. Just...consider it, okay?”

Regulus pulls his arm away from your touch and tears his gaze away, glaring intensely at the cauldron.

“Don’t hold your breath,” he mutters, before striding away, heading toward to Ingredient cabinet.

As you watch him leave, a trembling sigh escapes your lips. And despite the guilt wave of guilt curling over your stomach, despite the taste of salty tear on your tongue that settles there like a reminder of your lie, and the whirlwind of anxiety spinning your head into vertigo, you can’t help the overwhelming relief that washes over you because-

Because...

The seeds of your little plan have been planted. And if Regulus is still the same boy you knew all those years ago, he’ll come back.

He always comes back.

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lord-lunatic · 6 years

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Why did you chose them for those roles?

Okay okay, this is gonna be a long one... (I spent over an hour on this post wtf)

Remus - I chose @brain-stormer because I think they just have the perfect mix of sarcasm, mischief and general pissed-off-ness that Remus has. Also the small states of gay panic is everything I live for. Jay just gives Remus the perfect expressions and also has the perfect small amound of sass that you need for Remus. I just went to all his posts again and this is canon Remus, the lines the acting just everything so yeah xD

James - I mean I think I could technically have cast @asktheboywholived for basically everyone of the characters but James is extra perfect. I love the emotional side we get to see of James as well as his overall dorkiness. His friends are everything for him and I love how TT interprets James pining for Lily, as well as how they interact with each other when they are a couple. And James as a father is just perfect. I love it.

Sirius - @siriussly-serious I mean I don’t think I don’t have to give you much of an explanation here but I will anyway. So I love Jays facial expressions more than anything and when he plays Sirius he takes it to a whole new level. I love how he takes Sirius, who is a very broken but still confident and kinda cocky character and makes him completely his own, portraying him perfectly. For me he is basically canon Sirius.

Peter - I just have a lot of headcanons about him and like to play him, so yeah xD

Lily - So I have chosen two rpers here who portray Lily pretty differently. First of all @masksofmickey I love how she portrays Lily as this very confident girl who trust her friend a 100% and how seriously pissed off she is by James before they get together and how utterly in love she is with he actually gets to know her. But Lily is also a kind of dorky person herself sometimes and also brings lightness to their relationship. As for @asklilyevanss I got the chance to interact with her as James last week and was shook. She plays Lily a lot calmer, but still confident. She’s done with James bullshit but honestly just loves him so much at the same time.

Snape - @sirussly uses this very minimalistic facial expressions for Snape that make him absolutely perfect. Severus really hates the Marauders and you can just see the hate written on his face. I’m mostly referring to the “Cut to the quick”-thread. Nothing will make Severus raise his voice yet still you will listen to him when he speaks. And even though we have gifs without sound here you can perfectly see that on his face. It’s just stunning.

Marlene - Again two rpers. So we have @slytherinstation she didn’t really bring her online yet (which is why I can’t really concentrate on her characterization yet), only her character test but honestly it was already so gay I just needed to put her in here. As for @askwhathasthiscometo I’m mostly referring to the “(Un)requited” thread, which is one of my all time favorites. I love how she portrays Marlene as this character who goes from being in denial about herself being gay to embracing it and living for her wonderful girlfriend. I just live for a ll the sass. And her acting in threads like “Best served cold” is just stunning.

Dorcas - So for @egdramaqueen it’s mostly the interaction with Bux that gives me the perfect Dorcas vibes, but also in the “Till the end” thread with Ara. I just really love her characterization of Dorcas a lot. I can’t even really describe what exactly it is, it’s just my favorite characterization of Dorcas that I have seen. She is confident and kinda doesn’t deal with Marlenes bullshit for too long and adresses the problems (except when it comes to admiting their gayness). I love how she interacts with other characters as well.

Mary - Okay so we (or at least I) know pretty much nothing about Mary as a character so there are pretty different characterizations of her in this community. I really liked the idea we got of Mary in The snowball effect how she would give everything for her friend even if that meant that she wouldn’t really get what she wants. She just wants him to be happy and @arabella-prongs portrayed this perfectly. As for @nerdydancingravenclaw I loved how Lucy interacted as Mary the night she came online. Like Mary who tries to hide the fact that she is in fact hurt by what Mulciber did to her. As well as her interaction with Lily that was just amazing.

Frank - We mostly get to see @remus-lupin-is-my-type as Frank in the “Double date” thread. I just love the shy and kinda dorky portrayal which is given for Frank because that’s exactly how I imagine him to be, very much like his son turns out to be later. He’s a true gentleman but always a bit overwhelmed with the situation. I think Nicki does a perfect job with acting that out.

Alice - I just really really love how @sunshineandrainyflowers portrays Alice. She is pretty shy but knows what she wants. She really loves Frank but doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable so she kinda just let’s it evolve slowly. She also really cares about her friends.

Regulus - What I remember most of Arin as Regulus is how they portray him as this character that just feels misunderstood by everyone. He cares about his family a lot and doesn’t want it to fall it apart, he doesn’t want Sirius to provoke their mother as much but realizes he can’t change him and gets frustrated. But it still breaks him when Sirius is finally burned of the family tree. Similar as Jess does it with Snape Arin has a very minimalistic way of using facial expression which fits Regulus character as he feels like he can show his feelings to absolutely no one.

Barty Crouch Jr - I chose @marvelousmisterscamander because their portrayal of Azkaban Barty gave me absolute chills and perfectly shows the level of insanity that this character is in.

Bellatrix - The queen has arrived. We haven’t seen that much of @azkabqn as Bella yet but everything I’ve seen convinced me 100%. I mean only her pictures have me shook for forever. Also I just really would love to work wit Lydia. But Bellatrix was one of the harder characters to decide and after Lydia there was a huge list of phenomenal rpers I could have chosen. Honestly how does anyone manage to play this maniac so perfectly.

Narcissa - I think that Clara perfectly captures the cold and warm sides of Narcissa. Narcissa loves her family more than anything but if someone decides to go to far and gets burned off the tapestry she will get over it. Even if that person happens to be her sister. She will only mention them very briefly from then on with a cold face that doesn’t show the love she once had for that person. @jellyfishnshakespeare does an amazing job at acting this out.

.... Okay did I just spent over an hour typing this out and thinking about it? Yes... yes I did. Wow good way to beat time then. I have a lot of feelings about the marauders era characters if no one noticed...

A cookie for every lunatic that read this whole thing, lol. I’m sorry it got that long.

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imaginejamesandsirius · 4 years

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A story about hogwarts' reaction to seeing Slytherin Sirius and Gryffindor James dating?Please?

The Great Lake was hardly private, but Sirius did not have two fucks to give about it. Normally, he preferred some privacy, but the day was too nice, and he was feeling cooped up in the castle anyways. Maybe if he was in Gryffindor in a sodding tower to relax it would be fine, but the dungeons didn't have an excess of fresh air to enjoy. The sun was out, there was a pleasant wind blowing through the courtyard, and everyone was enjoying being so close to the end of the year. Exams were halfway done, and some people were already unloading all the things they had learned during the year.

Reg was finishing up his OWL transfiguration exam with most of the other fifth years, which left Sirius alone to entertain himself by the Lake's shore. Or at least, that's what he thought until James came up to him. Sirius raised an eyebrow, but James was grinning from ear to ear. "Hello?"

"Hi." James sat down next to him, kicking his feet out and leaning back onto his elbows. "Figured you could use the company."

"I suppose. What happened to our ultra secret relationship?" It had been James's idea to keep it quiet, and while it was smarter that way, Sirius didn't care either way. His parents would disown him when they found out, but that was only a matter of time anyways. He hadn't told Regulus, but he undoubtedly knew, the nosy little bugger.

"It's not like I'm sitting on your lap snogging you," James said, then paused. "I could be on your lap snogging you. Ugh, why did I think this was a good idea?"

"Because you like to torture yourself," Sirius said drily. "Relax, it's only another week."

"Yeah," he said slowly. "So erm, how pissed would you be with me if I decided that one week was too long?"

"I'd say that's probably the sunshine going to your head, but don't let me stop you."

"Excellent." James pushed himself up, then put a hand on the side of Sirius's face and kissed him. They were far from the only couple out here, and everyone was so busy enjoying themselves that maybe nobody saw them. It was probably fine.

Remus didn't mean to gawk, but- what the fuck?? James was snogging Black further down the bank of the Great Lake. Black as in Sirius Black. Sirius Black as in the bloody heir to the House of Black, a Slytherin, and sodding untouchable for all of James's pining over the years. At first, James had been insisting it was just physical because Black was gorgeous, and Prongs was so determined to not like Slytherin because they were their main competition for the Quidditch Cup. He swung his head to look at Peter, maybe ask if he knew just when the hell this happened, but Peter was just as dumbstruck as he was.

"What the- when did-" Peter sputtered. "Did you know about this?"

Remus shook his head, then swung it back around to look at the unlikely couple, who were now grinning at each other like loons. When he finally found his voice again, it was to say, "I always thought that when he finally got around to asking Black, he'd be a crying mess for the rest of the day."

Peter nodded numbly. "This is so weird," he muttered.

"Oh my GOD," Lily said, eyes going wide.

Marlene frowned at her, starting to follow her gaze to see what she was staring at. "What are you- holy shit. Am I really seeing this? Is this honestly happening right now?" Because it looked like James was snuggling up to Sirius bloody Black, and Black was not only letting him, but enjoying it. "Dorcas," she said, not taking her eyes off the couple and reaching out blindly to tap repeatedly her arm, "Dorcas, are you looking? Do you see this? Am I hallucinating?"

"Bloody hell, stop that," she said, clamping her hands over Marlene's. "Yes I see it, so unless what you're seeing a tapdancing hippogriff dressed in McGonagall's nightgown, you're not hallucinating."

"Oh Merlin, how is this happening," Marlene said faintly.

"Calm your tits, we all knew this was going to happen eventually," Mary said, barely glancing up.

"Did we?" Marlene asked doubtfully.

"I sure as hell didn't," Lily muttered. "Jesus, is everyone getting laid besides me?"

"I'm not," Mary said.

"You don't count, you're not even trying to date."

"That's what you think," Mary mumbled.

Severus saw it, wrinkled his nose, and pulled his book up higher. It's bad enough that he was outside in the first place, he didn't want to see those two bloody imbeciles snogging each other's face off. Absolutely disgusting.

"Ha!" Benjy said, pointing. "Told you. I will take my winnings in the form of Honeydukes chocolates, preferably nice and milky, but white is also acceptable. Positively nothing dark unless you want to try it again and waste more of your money."

"You're a sore winner, you know that?" Caradoc muttered petulantly, but maybe that's because he was a sore loser just as much as Benjy was about winning.

"Yep," Benjy said happily, beaming at nothing in particular.

Merlin, if they'd just waited another week and kept their bloody hands to themselves, he would've won. So close.

Regulus glanced up, saw Sirius, and started making his way over, reorganizing his bag as he went. How the inside had gotten in such disarray in the past two days, he had no idea. But he should have at least another two quills that he couldn't find, and he was reaching the middling part of his patience, where the urge to dump everything out started to appear but was still a ways off from him acting on it.

It was a long walk from the doors of the castle to where Sirius was sitting, and if they weren't brothers, Regulus wouldn't have recognised him from so far away. He looked up again when he got closer, just to make sure that Sirius hadn't moved. Then he frowned. Was that Potter? And were they- oh, yep, snogging, in front of Merlin and everyone. So much for them sneaking around. Did this mean that Regulus didn't have to pretend not to know anymore? It's not that he couldn't keep a secret, it's that keeping it hidden from Sirius that he knew was a pain in the arse.

Mum and Dad were going to be furious, but Sirius already had a flat picked out and paid for, just waiting for him to graduate so he could move in. They'd throw a fit, but hopefully it wouldn't get physical-- hadn't gotten physical since that time Sirius had threatened to run away and bring Reg with him; it wouldn't have worked as a threat if their parents hadn't known for a fact that Sirius could and would do it if they drove him to it.

It took him another minute to make his way next to them, and he dropped his bag none too gently. "Is this what I'm going to endure for the rest of the school year?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's only a week. I have faith that you'll survive to next term."

"Easy for you to say," he grumbled. He turned a critical eye on James, who's smile got a little less bright.

"Hullo, James Potter, nice to meet you."

"Let's get one thing clear: I don't have a problem with you, but if you grope my brother in front of me, I'm going to get a problem with you."

James cleared his throat, blushing. Or maybe he was getting a bit of a sunburn, it was hard to say. "Consider it clear."

"Good. Now budge over, I just got out of exams and I want to die."

Sirius pat his head. "There, there Reggie."

Regulus huffed and shoved his hand off.

Sirius snickered, leaning into James. "Ah look at the three of us, all getting along. Splendid."

"You're splendid," Regulus muttered, with the same tone he used when insulting someone.

James laughed but didn't say anything.

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