#I often like to pull direct examples and evidence but I didn't for this one

[winter-spark]

Citron's Love and Limited Self Value Disguised as Coldness & Selfishness!

Okay! So, I said I had thoughts back in December about Citron's coldness & 'selfishness' so let me actually share them now. (I was starting to doubt doing this but one of my mutuals said I should share my thoughts on a3! things and that they'd like to hear them, and this is one I really wanted to share so here I go!)

Intro/Too long; didn't read:

There are three things that I feel are true about Citron:

He loves and values everyone so much.

For the longest time, he saw himself as a title

These things combined into him making decisions that on the surface come off as cold and or selfish but underneath are dripping in love and care.

Table of contents

Paragraphs 1 -3: Fleeing Zafra Paragraphs 4 -6: Joining & Leaving Mankai Paragraphs 7-9: Leaving Guy & Lies Paragraphs 10-14: Citron vs Tangerine and their Dad Paragraphs 15-16: Good now right? Paragraphs 17-22: Tangerine in Citron's Past Role {additional thoughts on this: here.} Paragraphs 23-24: Conclusion

Let's begin with the reason he even fled Zafra in the first place. Citron was being targetted, by those who thought his brothers were better fit to rule than he. And he was aware of this being the reason strange things were happening. At least, seeing as Guy had the suspicion/knew, I don't see why Citron wouldn't have.

Instead of voicing what was going on or raising any suspicions, he just left. He couldn't let them win win because his only value is his role, he's the Crown Prince. It's all he is. But he loves his people and he loves his brothers. He's not going to cause them any problems. They want him gone. Alright, he'll leave, silently without a word to anyone. Is it selfish to leave those who care deeply about you with a word? Well, some people might say, "obviously" but Citron loves so much and refuses to stop existing in the only way he knows, so he couldn't say a word.

What was he supposed to do? Say goodbye to Tangerine and cause him to worry and rouse suspicion on others? Tangerine is very headstrong, he would've wanted to get to the bottom of it(pin on that). Similar thing with Guy, if Citron told him he wanted to leave, Guy likely would have suggested that he say something, if Guy didn't just follow him. He can't really go undercover with Guy around, and maybe he wanted Guy to have a break from being at his beck and call(more on that later). If he announced anything of this to his father, his father would have gotten to the bottom of it. Citron selfishly chose to leave, without a word. But when you think about his motives he wasn't just being selfish, he was trying to protect people because he cares so much.

Then he gets to Japan and ends up finding a struggling theater that just needs a few more hands. He's not gonna stay for long. He can't stay forever. But what's the harm in lending a hand? Afterall, he's always loved the arts.

But then something strange happens. He acts completely different than who he is, completely different than whats expected of him. And they value him anyway. It's beyond just needing another person for the play. They care about him as a person. It's not yet addressed not fully, not really but it's there. And he cares about them. So he pours his heart into them but keeps a distance as best he can, he can't stay he knows this. They can't learn more, they can't care more, they can't be sad about his departure.

Of course, they were gonna be, and of course, Guy was gonna find him. He knew his time was coming to a close when Tsuzuru brought that souvenir. So when Guy arrived, it wasn't the time to dwell on it. On his desires, on his wants. He wasn't allowed to have those. He's the Crown Prince. He must go ascend to the throne lest Orange do. As is his role. As is who he is. As is what he's good for. It's what he's meant to do. He didn't want to leave but he has to and it's going to be sad and hurt. And he loves Mankai, Spring Troupe so much, he doesn't want them to be too sad about his departure. So he creates a list of tasks--a distraction--one for each of them, he can't pretend he's not leaving but he can make it fun and silly for them. Itaru pays for a buffet, Tsuzuru joins him in Manzai, Masumi lets him have some time with Izumi. They're small things to prepare for the goodbye but they can't have an actual goodbye, it'd be too sad. So he gives Sakuya the task of performing with Mankai, something he never plans to do but is something nice for Sakuya to look forward to he doesn't realize the hope he's planting, the hint he's leaving of his own desires, but he does. I believe it's called a Freudian Slip. And that's what he does by putting Sakuya last, with Chikage's Vanishing Citron act before it.

But! Before we move on we can't leave out his love for Guy. Leaving Mankai, Spring Troupe without a real goodbye is harsh, it's selfish, it's unfair, they weren't ready, he left too fast. It was sudden, no one really got any sort of closure. But leaving Guy behind(again) and telling the people of Zafra that Guy held him hostage against his will in Japan, that's cold, that's vicious, that's confusing. That's Citron's love.

When Citron was a little tiny child, he looked at that messed up soldier in training and decided that was his person. And overtime found out just how messed up he was, and Citron wanted to help. He wanted to prove to Guy he wasn't an android, wanted to get him in touch with his emotions to some extent, wanted to get him to be able to do things for himself. Here's where we continue on the "more on that later" point, Citron understands how much Guy has devoted himself to Citron and Citron specifically, and he wanted Guy to be able to be his own person, to have a freedom Citron couldn't have. I like to believe part of the reason he didn't take Guy along with him in the first place was to sort of start that divide, to let him exist on his own, as his own person. We know that goes into him leaving him in Japan with 0 way to return to Zafra. Citron wanted so much for Guy to find his own personhood, and connect with himself, his roots, and he knew Mankai was a great source of support for Guy, because Citron vetted them. Citron loved Guy so much he'd rather be without him than let Guy continue without his own sense of self, his own purpose. His freedom was ending but he wanted to gift Guy with it.

Was it one of the ugliest ways to do it? Oh absolutely, but Citron's quick and analytical. He knew if he just said he intended on leaving without Guy, Guy would have probably followed anyway. So he asked himself how can he ensure Guy's not going to follow him and has a way to remember his past, so he leaves Guy's charm with Izumi and he returns home lying that Guy was at fault for his absence. Guy can't come in, and even though Guy's been cast out of Zafra, Citron can see this as reassurance, he knows Guy is somewhere nice and he knows, in theory, Guy's not coming back to Zafra. Did Citron really never want to see Guy again? Of course not! Like Mankai, Citron loves Guy a lot, but Citron doesn't want to doom people to sorrowful fates.

Take his brothers for example. If Tangerine hadn't been apart of the rescue plot whatsoever, Citron would have done his best to still not rat out Orange and Navel. Citron been knew they wanted him out of the picture. He knew. But he doesn't want them to have to suffer. Even if they were never close like he'd have liked, even if they hated him, even if they were trying to steal the one thing he was allowed to exist as, even if they were trying to kill him. Citron loved his brothers and valued their well-being. He didn't want them to be in trouble surely not behind him and he would've kept that secret to his grave because of that.

But things can't always go how you want them or to your plan. Tangerine (unpinning that earlier point), is very headstrong and he sees things a little more equally. His brothers are all people, and two of them were apart of a plot to kidnap and murder his other brother. He was supposed to keep quiet about that? Lots of people were nearly injured in the event. Of course, he was going to tell his father what happened. Brothers or not that wasn't okay.

And the King, very much like Tangerine, sees things more equally. The King like Citron has a role he must fulfill but he doesn't seem to have the same problem as Citron where it's all he sees in himself(I think, he's seemed to spend very little time with his kids as they grew up so that up for debate), he loves but he can put that aside and think about what's fair for all parties.

It's not fair, for Orange and Navel to simply just be scolded because they are his sons, this was a serious offense, he must treat it as such. It's not fair, for Citron to lie to the people, to lie on his retainer who has done nothing wrong. There are many things to consider. Is him allowing Citron to be an ambassador(was that the word? Idr) of the arts being a little soft on him? Honestly, I don't know, maybe, but he loves his son and he understands that he must have been struggling and in fear of running away because he was being plotted against, not saying anything because he has a big heart. And he just nearly died. He can't let someone so willing to lie over being upfront and stopping issues early on because of feelings be the next in charge, but he knows Citron is very capable and he sees the warmth of Spring Troupe, Mankai with Citron. He understands that where the Palace lacked for Citron, Mankai picked up for it. Citron had a home away from home but also wanted to serve his country. The King, his father, didn't really want to take either away from him. So he gave him a new role, a way he can have both. [How did this become a meta about his dad? lol] This scene, Citron goes through likely a lot of emotions.

Being stripped of his role, the one thing he's lived for, his one purpose in life, the thing he's fought for jeopardizing his relationship with his brothers, his sense of value. That mess is heartwrenching, it's scary. He just failed to protect his brothers from punishment and he lost the one thing he refused to ever actually give up. Now what?

Now, his father gives him a gift. A gift truly of freedom, decorated in a nice bow of still being valuable to his country but also showing him that his value wasn't just his title. He didn't have to be Crown Prince to be worth something. Could he have left the title sooner? Who can say? But right now, his father is basically saying "I love you and I value your happiness" and what more could Citron really ask for? Things are starting to look up for Citron, Guy was able to start healing from his past, Citron gets to return to Mankai and exist and have value and above all be loved. Everything is great.

Except then there's Tangerine.

Many of Citron's problems growing up were tied to him being the Crown Prince, it's restricting, it expects a lot of you, and it's a sad existence. That's how Citron views the title of Crown Prince, even if subconsciously, it's a bad thing to be thrown upon someone. It's something that destroys your sense of worth. How could Citron do that to someone he loves so dearly? He ran off, to be happy, to have a sense of worth outside of the title of Crown Prince, he left his precious little brother for dead, and what kind of person is he to do that? His suspicions "confirmed", when Tangerine shows up unannounced after running away from home.

Citron is so used to seeing himself as "the Crown Prince" he doesn't even consider that Tangerine just missed his brother, or wanted to ask for some sort of comfort or advice or anything like that. Because Citron was the former Crown Prince and Tangerine is the current one. That's where is mind is at. Citron is reliving all those years mentally and worrying that Tangerine is living like he was. Why else would Tangerine run away and come see Citron, who was once in his position? So his love for Tangerine and his pain from only seeing himself as a title combine into guilt, and that guilt turns him cold.

He can't rub salt in Tangerine's wounds by showing how happy he is without the burdens of the crown staring him down. He can't flaunt his freedom. He can't bare seeing Tangerine suffer the way he did. So he frowns and he gets serious. There are expectations of the Crown Prince, too. And Citron has those embedded into his very being. And he tries to somewhat of what you'd expect someone to be after having prepared for a role for years to someone now in their role. And he tries to get Tangerine to go back as quickly as possible. And it's selfish to send someone away because of your own feelings and not what they've done but it's also so complicated for Citron.

He's not mad at Tangerine, he's sad for him and mad at himself and every second Tangerine's there is a reminder of all of that and a show of Citron being a bad influence probably. Citron's used to falling in line and fulfilling duties so as he becomes somewhat of what you'd expect of a serious mentor, it makes sense that he's falling back into that mentally, the proving oneself to the right/expected thing to do. A good older brother/mentor wouldn't let his brother who needs to be preparing for a big event miss practice and possibly the event. A good older brother doesn't brag about how good he has it now that the younger one has it worse.

Of course, thanks to Masumi's patience with Tangerine and Spring Troupe's patience with Citron, he was able to turn his love warm again. But it was a bit rough getting there. Like the other events before.

Honestly, there's so much more that can be focused on about Citron and a part of me wants to go on a tangent about the little slips he has like the wish he'd given Sakuya and how his emotions slip through in other ways like how he got kidnapped and stuff like that. But I should probably reread things again before/if I do that. The important part here is just that I'm so fascinated by how Citron is just so full of love but for so long lack a full sense of self outside of the Crown, (not to say he didn't have interests and desires but more in the sense that nothing he had interest in or desired fully mattered in the long run because it was insignificant to the role he was meant to play, in case I haven't made that clear) and how those things combine into actions that are cold and or selfish but also so layered and so full of care.

Citron is so !!! my heart! Idk how to put it quite into words but I haven't really seen people like full-on analyze him really (outside of some analyzing in fanfictions really funnily enough) and I wanted to just give him a bit of focus. Honestly, it was long over due with how much I talk about his brothers. I didn't even say everything I thought but that's okay. Just means more opportunity for me to talk about him again later.

#a3! #act addict actors #Citron a3 #<- me using real tags. whoa! #long post #Citron & his brothers #The Zafran Princes #I want this to appear when people are looking at my posts about the others even though I brush over Orange and Navel in this post #(See I told you Citron was my favorite) #also I hope this doesn't get less strong as it goes on #and that none of the points fall flat #I often like to pull direct examples and evidence but I didn't for this one #but it's got me thinking I should totally try again to write that ship essay

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Hiya! I love your works so I have a Halloween request for Bennett. His bad luck usually means that gets absolutely zero play, but things start to take a turn for the better when he begins getting nightly visits from a sleep paralysis demon reader. Bennett is semi-conscious and unable to move himself while reader has his way with him. When Bennett wakes up in the morning it all seems like a crazy dream but the evidence left on his body is very real.

Sleeping Benny

Pairings: Bennett x reader

Warnings: Male!reader, dom/top!reader, sleep paralysis demon!reader, sub/bottom!Bennett, soft noncon (Bennett enjoys it pretty quickly~), some fluff at the end

Genre/Format: Smut; Oneshot

Author's Note: Oough I love this concept, anon! As usual, Bennett is 20+ here~

Please check my blog title to verify whether requests are closed or not! Thank you!

It was no secret that Bennett was terribly unlucky. Always winding up in strange and dangerous situations, it was a miracle that he survived some of the things he'd been through... and though he often wore a smile and tried to see the bright side of every situation, his constant bad luck did affect him mentally

Bennett was rather prone to horrible nightmares, causing frequent insomnia and even paranoia throughout the daytime. He did his best to hide the symptoms and, for the most part, he was successful. Lately, the nightmares had become much worse, jolting him awake at all hours of the night in a frenzy

Then one night, after yet another brutal nightmare, Bennett was once again scared awake. His labored breathing and racing heart were telltale signs of that, but this time he didn't bolt upright. His back was still pressed flat against the mattress and the only thing that could really move of their own accord were his eyes, which quickly darted around the dark room as he tried to get his bearings. Something felt very wrong this time, a strange sensation of panic flooded all of his senses at once and Bennett tried to scream...

...Yet no sound came out. It was as if his vocal chords no longer worked. He tried to move his arm only to find that he could not, his entire body felt like it was made of lead as another wave of panic washed over the restless adventurer. His arm remained draped over his stomach as it rose and fell at a frantic pace

Bennett's stare was fixed on the ceiling above him, shadows cast from all sorts of things from the single nightlight amidst the darkened room that he resided in. A new sensation caused his eyes to widen; what felt like someone's hand trailing its fingers up his legs. Fingers digging into the soft flesh of his thighs caused him to whimper, squeezing his eyes shut while the groping continued. It moved upwards, brushing against his member that was tucked into his pajama shorts and pulling a whine from him. The sensitive area between his legs being untouched both by himself and other people

Bennett glanced down in the direction where the strange feeling was coming from, expecting to see a person, but instead what he saw was nothing more than a shadow. Except the shadow was oddly shaped like a human...kind of. The edges of the shape were blurry and fuzzy, somewhat similar to static. It was impossible to make out any features or details, he wouldn't have even assumed that it was supposed to be a person if it weren't for the obvious feeling of being groped where the shape was positioned

-

The man laying below you looked in your direction, his wide eyes staring at you fearfully, though you knew he wouldn't be able to tell if you were truly there or not. Just a fun perk of your nature; being incomprehensible to humans in this semi-conscious state that you lure them into. Especially humans that had any conditions that affected their ability to sleep, even short-term things such as pulling an all-nighter once. Anything was more than enough to fuck with them and invade their consciousness for a little while

Long enough to feel their cute little body up, for example. And boy did you find such a perfect little thing. Someone who has yet to be touched at all, who's sensitive to even the gentlest of gestures, someone who would be fun to ruin.

So, that was your plan. To slowly work the poor thing up over a couple nights until his body was desperate for something– anything to fill up his virgin hole and grant him the pleasure that he so desired

Night 1 had already begun. The first step was to litter his body in teasing touches. That's all. Just touch every sensitive part on his small body so that he would crave more, subconsciously thinking about these feelings tomorrow. Sliding your hands along his inner thighs and up into his shorts, just barely brushing past his dick but never touching it directly. Dragging your nails back down and squeezing his thighs once more while the human let out a soft moan above you

Surely the little thing was confused right now. Grappling with the thought of being touched by someone or something, to his mind, that he didn't know. But also something that he wasn't even sure was real. To him this seemed like a dream, a hellish nightmare that he would eventually wake up from. All of this was terrifying and yet.... the way your hands glided across his skin, groping his thighs and rubbing up to his chest, it felt...good. It was pleasurable. He didn't know why he felt the way he did, he just knew that his body was all tingly and warm now. As someone's hands roamed his scarred frame the desire for more crept in, causing lewd sounds to fall from his lips unwillingly

Just as quickly as you had appeared, you left him. Alone with the lingering feeling of fingers caressing his thighs and nipples, Bennett couldn't help the way he tried to move his hips, attempting to buck into touches that were no longer there. Still unable to move, he resigned to his fate. Sighing before closing his eyes and eventually succumbing to sleep

Night 2 came rather quickly, and you were excited to tease your new plaything once again. Waiting patiently at the foot of his bed until his eyes shot open and his breathing sped up, taking in his surroundings a little less frantically than last night. You went to work right away, repeating your teasing ministrations of squeezing his thighs, but this time going a little further. Spreading his legs a bit so that your face would fit in between them and licking his sensitive skin, the new sensation caused Bennett to gasp suddenly. He was still immobile, the only things that could move slightly were his eyes and mouth once again, though he could not speak. Only noises such as whines and gasps could slip out

The noises enticed you to keep going, biting his thigh gently before trailing soft kisses up towards his hardening member, licking and sucking on the fabric that covered it until it was visibly wet. Your hands went to work on his dick next, wrapping around the length and pumping him roughly. The sudden movement resulted in a beautiful moan from the human, if he wasn't paralyzed by your powers surely his back would have arched for you

You continued stroking his clothed member harshly, abruptly stopping whenever you thought he was close to an orgasm. The repeated edging caused him to pant, sweat rolling down his warm skin as you toyed with him. Next, you decided to work Bennett's pretty hole open. Pulling his boxers down and eyeing your goal deviously, you gave his dick a few more pumps, making sure to collect as much precum as you could before returning to his entrance. Using that bit of precum and your spit as lube while you pushed one finger inside

He was tight. Impossibly tight as his muscles clenched around your digit invading his body, moaning like a whore above you the entire time. Bennett didn't know whether he wanted to push his hips down so that you'd go deeper inside of him, or pull away because this felt really weird...but also really, really fucking good. A part of him wanted this to keep happening, the new sense of pleasure was like a new adventure. Exploring something that he'd never known about before

Just as Bennett becomes used to the feeling of one finger prodding inside of his hole, you add another one, stretching him open a bit further. Thrusting into his wet hole and curling your fingers until you found his prostate, pushing against his sweet spot to pull more choked noises of pleasure from the poor thing

And once again, just as quickly as you'd fingered his virgin ass open, you pulled out and left. Leaving Bennett to lie there motionless as his chest heaved from the excitement, his little ass clenching around nothing as he was left to feel empty and alone... But once again, he remained immobile until he awoke the next morning, going through his day on edge from your cruel....well, your cruel edging

Until the third night finally arrived. Bennett was almost too restless to fall asleep in the first place, secretly hoping that whatever had been exploring his body would come back again. He wasn't ready to admit it quite yet but...he had begun to unlock his inner whore, thanks to your help of course

After a while of tossing and turning, Bennett finally settled in to fall asleep. Turning on his side and huffing as exhaustion crept in, causing his eyes to become heavier and heavier until he succumbed to that drowsiness. Not long after is when you showed up, twice as eager for the things that you had planned for tonight

Eyeing your prey from your position in the corner of his room and bathed in the pitch black darkness that covered the area like a blanket, you slowly stepped closer to the bed where Bennett lay. His breathing was shallow and his muscles were noticeably tense, a sign that he was already awake and well aware of your presence. Staring at the wall in front of him while your shadowy form crept closer and crawled into the bed with him

An obvious shifting of weight on the mattress confirmed your presence to Bennett, gulping while you spooned him from behind. Even though he couldn't see you, he was sure that you were the same being from the past few nights. A familiar heaviness in his chest was one of the many giveaways, besides the fact that he was basically paralyzed until the next morning...

Nonetheless, you slid one arm under the human and wrapped it around his torso, pulling him back against your body. You were solid enough that he could recognize the feeling of a body behind him, yet it still felt off. There was no warmth emanating from you at all, no heartbeat either. Just the vague shape of a human body pressed against his sensitive back, holding him close while your other hand lifted his leg and draped it over your own. Keeping his legs spread so that you could do whatever you wanted and he wouldn't be able to close them or move away, not that he wanted to though

Bennett's body trembled, both in fear and excitement, as you wasted no time touching and groping his delicate flesh. His underwear had been discarded before he even crawled into bed, another testament to that eagerness of his. Since you removed them last night, he figured that you'd probably just do the same thing again tonight, so why not do that part for you beforehand?

This was much appreciated on your end, able to jump right into the action after feeling up his squishy thighs that you had come to so adore. Immediately going to stroke his soft cock while the little thing moaned at every touch, his eyes fluttering closed in pure bliss.

Bennett wished that he could move on his own for some things. Sure, on one hand not being in control made this whole situation more fun, left to your mercy and unable to even scream while you did anything to him. But on the other hand, he so desperately wanted to buck his hips into your hand, the slow stroking that you were currently doing just wasn't enough...he needed more...

Of course, you already knew that. Which is why you kept up a slow and steady pace, teasing his sensitive tip occasionally to build up that desire. When Bennett was fully erect, you stopped stroking him. Once again using his own precum and spitting into your hand to lube yourself up, jerking off until you were hard too. Then you stretched his ass open just as you had last night, working in three fingers in total so that his hole was fully prepped to take your length

Finally the moment that he'd been waiting for had arrived, you were going to be inside of him and corrupt his innocence. His virgin hole would stretch around your thick cock and he'd become your little bitch, just a warm hole for your pleasure. Swept up in his fantasies, Bennett didn't notice the drool pouring from the corner of his mouth while he imagined such a thing, too lost in the fantasy of becoming someone's cock slut to pay attention to reality. Well, until you penetrated him, that is. The burning stretch of something entering him for the first time pulled his hazy mind back into his present

He hadn't anticipated how much it would hurt at first, though the pleasure that soon followed made it all worth it. The feeling of a fat cock stuffing his little ass was so much better than Bennett had imagined...and when you began thrusting slowly? Easing him into a steady rhythm and molding his insides to fit you perfectly? That's when he truly let go. His body went slightly limp as he relaxed into your hold, eagerly accepting your dick like a good whore

As your thrusting became rougher, Bennett was reduced to a moaning mess in your arms. A dumb smile plastered onto his face while you railed him, grunting next to his ear from the way his ass clenched around you. The way his warm, wet hole squeezed your dick finally sent you over the edge, shooting a load of cum inside of him and biting down on his delicate neck while your eyes rolled back into your skull

While you finished emptying your cum inside of him, you went back to stroking Bennett's dick, eliciting cute whines from the little human as you brought him closer to his first release. Speeding up your movements cruelly until he came all over your hand, his first orgasm hitting him hard as his limp body twitched in your arms. Taking advantage of the fact that he couldn't move, you gathered some of Bennett's cum on your fingers and shoved them into his open mouth, taking pleasure in the way he gagged on them and couldn't do anything about it. He would have to accept whatever you put into his mouth, forced to taste his own cum while you smeared it onto his tongue, forcing your fingers down his throat again just to hear him whine and choke on you

When you were done playing with him, you removed your digits from his mouth, slowly pulling out of his ass afterwards and letting him relax completely. Bennett's mind was still pretty fuzzy even as his heart rate returned to normal, quietly drifting off after a few minutes. But for once...you stayed. Instead of the usual ‘leave immediately after getting to the good part’ you continued to cradle your newest plaything. You weren't entirely sure why, it just felt right to linger for a while and feel someone's heartbeat against your empty chest

-

When Bennett awoke the next morning everything seemed like a dream. Sitting up in his bed, he ran his hand through his messy, white hair, taking in his surroundings through eyes still partially blurred by sleep. The sun peeked through the curtains a bit, shining rays of light on the wood floor and his adventure's attire thrown off halfheartedly. Everything seemed normal until Bennett noticed the slight pain in his shoulder. He crossed an arm over his chest and found a bite mark left on his skin, probably bruised by now based on the pain when he pushed on it

It was then that the memories of last night flooded back into his brain. It wasn't a dream. That was all real...that really happened. He thought, remembering the way you made him choke on your fingers, the way you jerked him off just before that, and the way you fucked him like a toy even earlier... every last detail crept back in, sending a wave of warmth throughout his body as his hips involuntarily humped the sheets still covering his lap

He had hoped that last night wasn't the end of this new adventure.... craving your rough grip on his hips and thick cock stuffing him again. Whining at the thought of becoming your permanent cocksleeve and hoping that whatever had done this to him felt the same...

Reblogs are extremely appreciated <3

#my writing #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin impact #bennett #genshin bennett #sub bennett #bennett x reader #male reader #dom reader #top reader #halloween specials 🎃 #requested #demon au #oneshot

[beyoncesdragon]

title: catch up now? 

× pairing: Idol!Jungkook x Interviewer!Reader, old friends from highschool kinda stuff, abandoned but maybe rediscovered love on both sides. 

× summary: Three years are a long time. In three years, many things can and will change. But three years hadn’t been quite enough to change how two people feel about each other. 

× warnings: a little teeny bit angsty but it’s nothing, really. Mainly fluff, some flustered, overly eager Gguk and old memories coming up. 

× wordcount: 2k

× a/n: Not gonna lie, this might be one of my favourite pieces I've ever written. I really hope you enjoy this too! it’s somehow inspired by ‘Love Maze’ (BTS) and also ‘50 Proof’ (eaJ). Will probably not have a pt.2

main masterlist | bts masterlist

When he had read the name of the interview host - or hostess more like - Jungkook had already felt the familiar tingle in the pit of his stomach that he had thought had disappeared over the course of time. Yet, he wasn’t surprised that it was still there.

He had however not dared to hope that it could actually be you, there sure were other people called (Y/N) (Y/L/N), who has pursued their dream of becoming an interviewer, media person, whatnot. He didn’t even know if you had actually graduated uni and made it in the job, hence he hadn’t seen any of you in about four years of him debuting now. He had occasionally checked out your Instagram or Twitter, yet he shied away from following you on any social media platform. You weren’t really public about your work or personal life on both, you mainly retweeted stuff (he found out about your love for Bingsu and Makgeolli ice cream like that) and posted a few selfies or landscapes. He hoped that you had been able to pursue your dream of traveling around for a bit, in South Korea and outside of it. Though again, he didn’t know.

Jimin was seated right in front of him and Jungkook couldn’t help but nervously play with his hyungs honey blond dyed hair. Jimin chuckled surprised yet amused about his open display of nervousness and turned around slowly.

“Everything okay, Jungkook-ah? You seem more nervous than usually.” He remarked, making Namjoon look over to the maknae in wonder. “He does, right? I thought so too. Did something happen?” Jungkook only shook his head.

Not yet, he thought to himself.

The cameras around them started to blink all at once, the light has been set up correctly and the camera and sound team had settled down around them in the dark. Manager and publicists stood somewhere in the back, swallowed up by the dark. The only person that was missing still, was you. Or the person called (Y/N) (Y/L/N), Jungkook tried to tell himself.

Suddenly there was a soft laugh from somewhere off the scenes and his heart tripped over its own beat and finally, finally, you stepped into the light.

You looked pretty as ever, grown into your features entirely, like a lotus flower finally in full bloom. Jungkook had to swallow dry. The light coral red of your lip balm complimented your skin and the subtle almost invisible make up you wore, accentuated your already beautiful features even more. You hadn’t changed your hair much, but it was a bit longer and looked so soft in the bright light. His eyes almost subconsciously darted to your fingers, searching for evidence of a possible relationship. He was almost ashamed how quickly he ended up thinking about this, his own boldness making him even more flustered. (There was no formal looking ring on your ringfinger though, to his relief.)

There was a warm smile on your lips as you bowed deeply to them all, greeting them respectfully. The boys returned your greeting immediately and a bunch of annyeong haseyo-s sounded through the studio. Jungkook felt Namjoon look over at him again, a piercing gaze Jungkook knew he wouldn’t be able to withstand if he met it. So he just kept looking at everything but Namjoon...not that this was hard to do when you were right in front of him.

“Thank you so much for being here with us.” You said with a smile, looking at everyone with the same look of respect and polite distance. Like you were supposed to, at work, as a professional. Like you didn't know them personally. Everyone, including Jungkook.

He felt his heart drop to his stomach. Could it be that you...forgot about him? It couldn’t really be, right? How would you actually be able to, you really...in this moment your eyes crossed again and something flickered in your eyes, a facade crumbled for a few seconds only. It was an amused twinkle, like a cheeky wink and a minimal curl of your lips. 

Acknowledgement.

And Jungkook’s heart did multiple flips, breath caught in his throat and eyes widened.

You had started with the questions, keeping the conversation light and flowing. The vibe in the room was comfortable and built up on mutual respect - yet Jungkook felt as if he was sitting on red-hot needles. He wanted to talk to you, ask about how you had been, what you were doing (if you had a boyfriend) if you were happy, if you got a cat, how your mother’s little business was going (he’d anonymously purchased countless items, to support your family), if your favourite colour still was cyan blue and your still religiously bought Pajeon and Makgeolli on rainy days, if you ever spent a second of your day thinking of him (because he did).

Him, your somewhat ex-best friend from highschool, him, the one you spent hours talking to in the ungodly hours of the morning, him who you had lost your first kiss to (though lost wasn’t the right word: you gave it to him more like). Him who you had poked fun of when the first girl approached him in his Rookie days and he’d been flustered to no end.

Him, who had promised to you that he wouldn’t abandon your friendship and yet the two of you drifted apart anyways.

Not for the lack of trying on either side though. Jungkook’s schedule had just become even fuller, his nights shorter, training longer and fans more obsessive. And you had seen each other less often, greetings were shorter and late night talks turned into good night wishes over text quicker.

You on your part weren’t mad, a little disappointed maybe. Sad for sure, but not mad. After all, you had expected it to turn out like that. So had the rest of your little circle, Haneul, Hwang, Kyong and Myunghee. Whilst the five of you had supported Jungkook on his journey with all you’ve got, you all tried to overcome the obvious pain of him drifting off.

Some (mainly Hwan and Kyong) with working harder in school for example. You did that too, but sometimes you also partied a little harder, were awake at three AM a little more often, missed him a lot more. It hurt letting someone you love go.

Jungkook and you had always been a bit...closer. Why you didn’t know, how you couldn’t possibly explain. But you were and him rising into the heights and new dimensions of being an idol destroyed this almost completely. This strange world of fame, those walls of flashing cameras, the flow of expensive goods and seas of screaming people, that was his world. He was a star, figuratively and somewhat literally. He shone more radiant, higher, longer, prettier and too bright for an innocent, young love to coexist.

So you stayed behind, soon having lost his number due to him having to change it, his contact information soon had less to say than what you could find on the internet.

His new hair colour? Well, you could google it. Height? Current weight? Several fan sights knew the answer. Achievements? The internet again.

 It was strange, ridiculous to some extent. And it hurt. But you couldn’t blame him, so you never did.

⋄

When you had heard that you would be interviewing BTS last week you could help but feel scared. You hadn’t seen him face to face for three or so years, three years with no FaceTime, texting, three years of not seeing his bunny smile, smiled just for you.

And when you had seen him again, laid eyes on him for the first time in thirty-five months, you realised that nothing you ever felt for him had faded away. It was all the same again, your heart still jumped in your chest and your stomach still fluttered whenever he did as much as breathing. The only thing that had changed was his height and him having had the biggest glow up you had witnessed in your life, yours included – though this Jungkook would disagree vehemently. 

This Jungkook who got pulled out of his thoughts and memories almost violently, as you directed a first question at him only.

“I…” he started, gulping hardly, having forgotten the question already halfway.

“Sorry I can’t – how have you been?” you stopped shortly, stunned and a tad confused at first. You hadn’t expected him to be so bold. Or clumsy, for that matter. Yet you couldn’t help but giggle, and all the unsaid words and ignored truths between the two of you disappeared into smoke, taking all tension with them. Just like that.

“I’ve been fine, Gukie. Busy. Long-time no see, hm. How about you?” somewhere behind the cameras someone dropped a pen and there were multiple gasps being heard. The rest of the bangtan boys didn’t look any better; Jimin had his mouth open, Taehyung was looking back and forth between the two of you, Yoongi just froze, Jin and Hoseok had clasped their hands in front of their mouths and Namjoon just looked like someone poured a bucket of ice water over his head.

But Jungkook? Jungkook was smiling widely, his bunny smile, smiled just for you. 

“Busy too. Yes, very long time no see.” He replied sheepishly, a small laugh escaping his lips as he looked around the dead silent studio. “Why…how do you know each other?” Yoongi finally asked, eyes snapping back and forth between the two of you.

“Well I guess we have to tell them now. We know each other from back in Highschool. We were pretty close friends back then.” You explained softly, giving him a small smile. Jungkook nodded quickly. “My apologies. I didn’t wanted to completely ruin the interview but…I haven’t seen you in three or so years. Sorry.” You waved it off. “It’s okay, Jungkook. We will catch up later, alright?” Jungkook nodded, making the mistake of looking over to Namjoon, who looked like he finally understood everything. “Is that why you were so…never mind.” He ended in a mumble and Jungkook was glad he did.

⋄

The second the interview was officially finished and all the cameras shut off, Jungkook was on his feet and approaching you. He didn’t even care about formalities anymore as he just wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight hug.

The first thing he noticed was that he couldn’t nestle his face in the crook of your neck as easy as he had been able to do in high-school. The second thing was that you had changed your perfume into something more flowery and fresh. The third thing he noticed was how much he liked having you in his arms again, especially because he could now rest his head on top of yours.

The first thing you noticed was how broad your Kookie had become. Broad and tall and firm everywhere. The second thing you noticed was how he smelled more expensive, faintly musky but still very much like Jungkook. A scent you could pick out from a thousand, unique and everything you loved. The third thing you noticed was how familiar and how looked after you felt in his arms, how protected from every harm. You had missed this feeling.

“Aigoo, Junkookie!” Jin yelled from behind, causing you to chuckle embarrassed and trying to break the hug. But Jungkook simply tightened his arms around you, having no intentions of letting you go any time soon.

“Just ignore them. They’ll leave, eventually.” His voice was muffled by the skin on your neck, since he had now buried his face there, taking deep breaths.

“And we?” you asked with a small laugh, not moving either. “We stay. We catch up. Got a lot of that to do.” Sounded good enough to you…just that you had expected them to make a bee-line for the exit after the cameras cut due to their busy schedule.

“Catch up now?” you asked after a few seconds of him still having his arms around you, unmoving. The young man shook his head.

“No…not right now.” He took a deep breath, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, mumbling against your skin and the fabric of your blouse. 

“In five minutes. Let me just hold you for a little while, you…you have no idea how much I missed you.” 

If he only knew.

— ✩ thank u for reading ✩ —

#btswritingcafe #jeon jungkook #bts fanfic #jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook friends to lovers #idol x reader #jeon jungguk #jeon jungkook x you #Jeon Jungkook x reader #jeon jungkoooook #jeon jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook fluff #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts x you #bts x y/n #BTS jungkook #bts jeon jungkook #bts jk #t: catch up now?

[lady-snavely]

Sands of Time: Part Three

Blossomed Feelings

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsuro x Fem!OC

Warnings: mentions of death, swearing, mutual pining, all the fluff

A/N: as always, reblogs are super appreciated!

Like every other day when they came in, she was on her break. Today, she was perched in a window in the children's area with her legs drawn up loosely. There was a book in her hand, presumably the same one from a couple of days ago. Hidden safely beneath the tent of her knees was a steaming mug.

Jade's ears perked, her attention momentarily divided when she heard Bokuto, obnoxious as ever, greet her coworkers across the building. She was sure he included an exaggerated wave as well. Her advanced hearing, one of the few bonuses of being Fae, even allowed her to hear Daichi silence Bokuto with a low warning.

"There's a big enough table over there that's free." He was telling the group. She knew exactly which table he was referring to as she'd made sure it was clear before she went on break twenty minutes ago.

With a sigh, she closed her book and stood gingerly so as not to disturb her drink. The study group was her queue that her break was over soon. Still, finishing the chapter sounded real nice.

Nonetheless Jade found herself smiling as she glided through the aisles that were as familiar to her now as her own apartment. Her thoughts were with the oddball company of heroes and heroines from her book. Even preoccupied she nodded politely at the group of boys taking their places at the table.

"Fancy seeing you here again."

"Good afternoon to you too, Kuroo," she replied without stopping. "You all know where to find me if you need help with anything."

Yaku snickered and jabbed his elbow into Kuroo's ribs. "She didn't even bother to look at you."

"Her break's about over," Akaashi defended. "Iwaizumi messaged me a few moments ago, he and Oikawa won't be joining us tonight."

"Good, they can keep that stomach bug away from us then," Daichi grumbled.

"Please, they're probably having their own fun." Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"I wouldn't put it past them," Akaashi murmured. He turned to Bokuto and gave him a warning glare. "Make sure you actually work on your Maths today. You nearly failed your last test."

For well over an hour Kuroo was able to focus on his studying despite his loudmouth of a friend sitting across from him. Bokuto came along more for the social aspect than anything else. Not that any of them really cared the way Akaashi did, study group was the only chance they had during the week to get together anyway.

With a small groan Kuroo stood. He needed a break to stretch his legs. He wandered the shelves aimlessly, stopping on occasion to read a synopsis or two before continuing on. He really didn't have much free time at the moment, what with midterms starting to ramp up. Still, Kuroo made a mental note of books to read once the workload began to die down.

"-depends on what you're interested in, honestly." He overheard Jade saying. "Let's start off with something simple to help narrow it down. Are you looking for a stand alone story or a series?"

Kuroo, for reasons unknown even to himself, hid two aisles over and listened in on the exchange. Since starting at the nearby university last year he'd learned quickly that Jade was good at her job. Great even. Any time he'd needed help with research or simply pointed in the right direction, she'd been prompt with answers. Sometimes she even went above the call to suggest further material that always seemed to have more information than he'd ever need.

Still it amazed him that in a matter of a few questions Jade was excitedly showing the younger guest a section that would entertain her. "I'm a little older than the intended audience but this series here in incredible. But if you're interested in something a little more magickal - and I don't mean witches and wizards - then I suggest this series just here."

With a faint smile Kuroo turned from the duo to head back to his studying. "Fuck," he hissed when he ran into and nearly knocked over Yaku. "Creepy little shit. What are you doing?"

Yaku glared up at his taller friend with a wicked grin. "If I'm creepy what do you call what you were just doing?" He countered. A quick peek around Kuroo gave Yaku the answer he needed. "Admiring the view?"

Kuroo looked over his shoulder and saw the girl from before already devouring the suggested book. Jade was nowhere to be seen. "She's a bit young for me, don't you think?"

Yaku rolled his eyes. Sometimes he really wondered if Kuroo was, in fact, a total moron. Kuroo's infatuation with the Human girl had become more and more evident over the last year. There were some not so obvious clues, like how he just happened to run into her when he was wandering around, or how he had started zoning out in classes. Then there was the blindingly obvious: watching her like creep from the other aisle while she helped other guests, for example. "Come back to the table," he finally sighed. "I need help with the Biology assignment."

"My time to shine," Kuroo smirked.

"Don't go getting an ego."

"I would never."

Both girls were seemingly non the wiser to what had transpired only two aisles away.

Daichi, Akaashi and Yaku continued to study dutifully while Bokuto successfully managed to distract Kuroo. Jade had only one other guest after the younger girl had left with two new books in hand.

Even with that one person closing time seemed to come a little too soon for Jade. They always did on days the study group came in. She enjoyed listening to their friendly banter and teasing, they were good company and often pulled her into their conversations on slower nights.

Tonight was no different than any other night the group came in. It was closing time and they were still there, sitting at the same table they'd procured from the moment they walked in hours before. However, studying had been thrown out the window some time ago she recalled as she made her way over. Currently they were chatting, all but Bokuto and Yaku, who had fallen asleep.

Propping a hand on the back of Akaashi's chair she sighed, forcing disappointment into her words. "Time for me to lock up guys."

"Is it that time already?" Daichi glanced at his phone before sighing himself and rubbing at his eyes. "Sorry to be a bother again, Jade."

"I tell you every time: you aren't a bother, Daichi," Jade shrugged. "Libraries have always been around for a reason. Apparently a good location for a power nap is one of them." She roused Yaku gently, giving him a warm smile when he blinked up at her. "Closing time sleepy head."

"We'll get out of your hair as soon as we wake Bokuto," Akaashi assured her.

"Take your time, I've got some cleaning to finish up anyway."

Jade turned away but not before catching the mischievous grin on Kuroo's face. Just as she expected, the indistinguishable thud of a dropped stack of books met her ears. "Wake up!"

"Bro!" Bokuto whined. Jade's nose wrinkled at the shout. No matter how much she heard it she would never get used to that term.

"Time to go, Bokuto," Kuroo said without a hint of apology in his voice.

Kuroo waited by the checkout counter for Jade to come out of the back office. Over the past year it had become a sort of habit for him to wait for her while she clocked out and locked the building up for the night. In more than one hundred attempts she had yet to agree to, at the very least, allowing him to walk her to the bus stop. Maybe tonight would be different? There was only one way to know for sure.

"Ready to go, Kuroo?"

"Only if you are!" He replied. A triumphant smile adorned his face when a soft chuckle met his ears. Kuroo clasped his hands, fingers knit together tightly before asking, "Would you like some company on your way home tonight?"

It came as no surprise to Kuroo that she didn't reply right away. She emerged from the back office with the satisfied smile that came from finally being off the clock. "Thank you, but I'll be okay on my own tonight."

Kuroo cocked his head to the side for a moment before nodding. "One of these days you'll say yes."

"You're so sure of yourself, Kuroo." She snickered and ducked her head to hunt for her keys in her bag. "I appreciate the offer as always."

They left the building in comfortable silence. Jade tugged at the building doors, testing the locks before heaving a content sigh. "I saw you looking at some books early," she mentioned casually when they reached the sidewalk. "I can put them on hold for you. If you want, that is."

"Not with midterms in a couple weeks." Kuroo shook his head but smiled down at Jade. "That's very kind of you though."

Jade smirked. "I try my best."

Kuroo fought the urge to wrap his arm around her shoulders. He didn't know it, but she caught the twitch in his fingers. "Get home safe, okay Jade?"

"Don't worry, you'll see me all safe and in one piece on Friday, Kuroo." Jade's smile, highlighted by nearby street lights, brought an unwelcomed heat crawling up his neck.

"Right, well, good night, Jade." He retreated into the shadows quickly before she could see the blush spreading up across his cheeks.

"May sleep find you easily tonight, Kuroo." Jade dipped her head slightly before she herself hurried off in the direction of her bus stop.

Kuroo stared after her until she was out of sight before he sighed and began his journey home. When he stepped into his dorm room he wasn't surprised to see Kenma poking feverishly at the buttons of his video game. They had intrigued him from the moment he'd laid eyes on them.

Kenma's elf ears were poking through his hair, the only sign that he was no longer holding his Humanoid form. Kuroo received a murmured greeting from his long time friend as he removed his shoes.

"You missed out," he told Kenma.

"Unlikely."

Kuroo chuckled at that as he made his way into their shared room to change. As he did, he shifted with a sigh of satisfaction. It was only in their shared dorm room or when they were home visiting their folks that he and Kenma could safely shift back to their Fae forms.

"The Solstice Festival is coming up," Kuroo reminded his friend.

"Oh." Came the reply. Kenma's attention was barely pulled from his video game. Kuroo said no more on the subject, knowing full well that when the time came Kenma would leave the Human entertainment behind and return home for the Festival.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jade's heart was racing and not only because she was running. Had it been a trick of the light or had he been blushing just before she left? She supposed either were possible, even with the street lights the lighting wasn't favorable, and she was nearly a foot shorter than him so the angle was weird too. She tried not to dwell on it too much.

She didn't want to get too close to him this time around. She brushed off his advances, his attempts at getting closer, as best as she could but her job didn't allow for blatant ignoring of guests, so it was difficult. But she didn't want her heart broken. Not again.

Tears glistened in her eyes as she stood beneath the light of the bus stop. She dried them before they could fall; before they could be seen. In all her years on Earth, why was it a Human that had to come along and capture her heart?

When the bus arrived it only had a handful of occupants. Given the time of night this was to be expected and allowed Jade her pick of the crop as far as where to sit for her journey home. She hugged her knees tight to her chest when she sat, her temple leaning against the cool glass of the window at her side. Normally she would read, but she knew if she opened her book the pages would remain unturned, for try as she might, her mind raced with memories of the past. Of the wild laugh that sent the butterflies in her stomach soaring. That almost there smile that had found her time and time again over the centuries.

As much as she wanted to, Jade suppressed the desire to shift back into her Fae form as soon as her door was locked behind her. Showers were much easier without the wings getting in the way. So it wasn't until she stepped from her bathroom half an hour later that she released the invisible thread of thought that kept her Humanoid form in place.

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#haikyuu x oc #kuroo tetsuro x oc #kuroo tetsuro #haikyuu!! #snavelywrites #sands of time