I just want to share something and hopefully offer some hope.
For a lot of trauma survivors, they feel dirty. They feel like they can’t get clean no matter what. They feel like they can’t wash off what was done to them. I was one of them. The keyword being was.
I don’t feel dirty anymore. It took me a long time but I’ve realized that no matter what someone did to me, it doesn’t make me dirty.
What I’m trying to say is… there’s hope. There is so much hope. It can get better.
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hello aphblr we like laurance right here is him please accept me into your cult
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I've been taking advantage of the Fee Free period on skeb to fire off a few requests, some of characters I like and some of my ocs, so enjoy shirofox's take on Mischa
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unofficial brainstorm doodles....thinking about that Deltarune au..........
(quality died bc of the cropping aaauuuu.....
Not-au-canon doodles mainly stemming from me thinking about Spamton's introduction with Vox . and in my brain Charlie's kinda like a mash of Kris and Ralsei into one person,,, at least with how im working this au so far
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fuck around, find out
i've been procrastinating SO hard lately it's unreal. so i saw these two with their homoerotic tension and i just had to draw you know (also in my gouache brush phase because the texture is Pleasing to someone who usually doesn't draw with any texture at all. we're probably going back to flattish colors soon though because sketching with paint is very time and morale consuming)
closeups below keep reading
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oh my goodness i did not expect my last post to blow up like it did ffkfhksj i am so honoured to have found people who agree w me and i loved reading everyone's additions~ please accept this littol haruka with a blahaj as a thank you, since sharks & MILGRAM are two of my special interests :3
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you think i can't keep talking about karl and esther you are so wrong btw episode four timestamp 34:40 he hesitates before rubbing her back, comforting her the way a parent or guardian might. the whole tube scene is karl finally deciding he has to do this ("i'm here, and i'm not going anywhere, i promise") he still HESITATES because he knows he's probably not the right man for the job. he's the man that got her stuck in this problem in the first place. but they've only got each other and he has to try. does it hurt that the moment he finally builds this resolve and determination to leave it all behind and to actually fight for something that matters to him and admit that, even though he hasn't known her for long, he cares about this girl like she's family, esther is murdered and it totally consumes him? does it hurt that he's then framed for her death even though he just spent the last 24 hours killing and taking revenge in her name? not only because he knows he's a dead man, but also because he's out of options to do something that matters, and what else can he do with his grief other than inflict it onto others? yeah it hurts a lot actually
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i wanted to wait until i actually caught up and watched it to make this post because i dont know if it actually applies but. since idk When That Will Be. im putting a note here for future me to SOMEDAY. take the time to chew over the ashton shard choice juxtaposed against beau in the hag hut. sacrifices where you think its fine if you make the call (but you forget the scarifice isnt just yours, but the people who care about you). Its not a 1-1, not at all, but. I feel like theres something there and also i will Die on my Ashton And Beau Reflect Each Other Surprisingly Often hill. anyway. someday. that will happen. okay back to radio silence. i hope Bell's Hells have some fucking crunchy conversations.
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Like i probably have the shipping goggles on bc of being aware of fandom but seriously we know Eddie has a car but reuniting with Christopher after the earthquake its Buck who drives him and then Eddie's aunt goes into hospital and he brings Buck along again why???
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earlier i was expressing my confusion to stella about how common it is in werewolf or shifter romances for characters to describe their nonhuman forms as separate from them like "my wolf" or "my dragon" etc and stella went well it's obvious isn't it.
and i flatly went "...uh... is it...?" and cocked my head. and knowing i was definitely barking up the wrong tree said "The fantasy of potentially positive representation for systems? Metaphorical DID?" and then admitted i was lost
and stella shook her head and went air. air. it's about the romantic fantasy of monstrous aspects being separate from you and having their own allure.
and again i stared blankly at her and went Wouldn't You Want to Be The Wolf Though. Like I would want to be the dragon. personally. i would not want the dragon to be a separate guy. unless i could both be a dragon and also have a dragon in my brain. OR be a dragon and have a wolf in my brain. or vice versa
"Well." stella replied. "That is another kind of fantasy, yes. But the idea of the monstrous being separate has its own allure. Like... you say 'there's a darkness growing within me' all the time"
and the thing is Oh Yeah I Absolutely Say That. but i don't think the darkness is necessarily separate from me. like if you think of the ocean and then think of a shark you CAN differentiate the shark from the ocean but that's a latter stage of distinction right. like they're tied together in your mind and you would think of the shark as Part of the ocean. My brain is in my body but is also part of my body. my less charitable urges and feelings are as much a part of me as any other aspect. darkness is a transitory state and the distinction between dark and light is fluid. it's all about how you externalize, categorize, or react in the end
anyway all this to say is that if i could turn into a wolf i would want to Be the wolf and not feel like i was taking a backseat. i want to be able to shapeshift not be in a body that is ontologically distinct from myself that can shapeshift. that sounds like a recipe for a completely new kind of dysphoria. which now that i say that could be an interesting metaphorical exploration of Gender through genre fiction. but i somehow don't think i'm gonna see an interesting exploration/ execution of that in your typical werewolf romance
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If I can point out something from the Lukadrien post, cause alot of people seem to forget this fact. Adrien was actually the one who CHOSE Luka to be Viperion in the first place. Ladybug gave him the miraculous but Adrien chose him to wield it. So it's no surprise Adrien knows Luka is Viperion.
YES EXACTLY!!!
Which is why I'm confused as to why this isn't used more in the fandom! Canon I can understand because it fails me more often then not which is why I only pop in sometimes. But the FANDOM!?!
Guys, Adrien and Luka deserve to have their relationship development! I hear that Luka and Nino were basically written out to make way for Marinette to save Adrien.
Like you said, this is the guy ADRIEN chose! Not Ladybug, not Fu(ck), but ADRIEN! They're in a band together! They both have daddy issues! They can relate and differ from each other in so many ways this should not be ignored!
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