#I spent a little over a month on this

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud.. #but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

[shitouttabuck]

like a dog with a bird at your door

buck/eddie | 51k | rated e

The kid with blood pouring down his shins is not so far from the dog lonely enough that he thinks breaking his housetraining is worth it for the ten minutes of berating that come with it, the ten minutes of undivided, if reluctant, attention. Buck thinks, sometimes, that at least he wasn’t the kind of puppy that gets put in a sack and drowned at birth. He wasn’t always unwanted. And he isn’t anymore.

or, evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home

read on ao3

#a healthy mix of crack and big feelings i think #EDIT: this is not pet play lol the ao3 tags are more explanatory 😭 #posting and going to sleep because i spent over two months on this and im a little anxious lol #i love you like a dog #911 fic #buddie fic #911 #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #nina writes #mine #also. every single one of you that kept me sane through this. and sent me dog posts n songs n poems n art. i love u so fucking much #and in every way but literal im curling up at the foot of your bed tonight

[greyhavensking]

Kaneki’s definition of beating Ayato half to death is as insane and hilarious as always

#maria rambles #tokyo ghoul #I’m rereading the series because I was going through my books and remembered I still don’t own all 14 volumes #I have 10 and am hoping to finish it out over the next few months #but anyway I honestly prefer his fight with Ayato over the one with Yamori #just. the cold logic here is so beyond what we’ve seen from Kaneki so far but it’s also really fitting for him? #book nerd that he is #he spent like 12 days getting viscously tortured so he deserves to go a little feral. as a treat

[laesas]

The hands holding yours are not clean either.

VegasPete + Hands || KinnPorsche (2022)

#Disclaimer: I have very complicated feelings about this show and this couple after everything that's happened over the past month #I actually started these in late december for a friends birthday but the colouring ended up so complicated I didnt get it done #and while I'm still untangling how I feel about the fandom and fan culture and the whole situation (tldr: bad sad parasocially betrayed lol #I was so proud of these for my 3rd ever gifset the absolutely insane amount of time I spent on the colouring and masking against shaky shot #like I genuinely had to keyframe adjust about 8 different overlapping layers frame-by-frame for at least 1 of these lol #and perhaps selfishly: I need to post bc I can't bring myself to work on new sets while this was staring back at me every time i opened PS #And I'm proud of it and it meant a lot and even though the shape of the fandom and friendships have changed its still worth something to me #anyway. enough rambling. on to the actual tags lol #VegasPete #kinnporche the series #vegas theerapanyakul #pete saengtham #asiandramasource #asianlgbtqdramas #lgbtedit #vegas kp #pete kp #idk idk idk I feel like this is my one last little love letter to these silly little characters that meant a lot to me #and to the friends that inspired it too #on a lighter note: the caption is an adapted taemin lyric and the colours were inspired by the criminal MV lmao #so like lol its not that deep :') #aaaand post. #bee.gif #kpts

[detonatingunicorn]

Just another day in the transfer error au

@rosebloodcat

#submas #transfer error au #pokemon #pokemon legends arceus #pla #subway master ingo #subway master emmet #sningo #kudari #nobori #i am personally one of the belief that pokemon are able to eat any human food #as the seem to do in the anime and stuff all the time soooo.... #ingo with a frap it is #besides vanilla coffe and cream/milk is probably not the worst thing anyway if he cant have free reign of food #...or maybe hed get a stomach ache #thats quite a bit of frap for one little boy #shoulda got him a puppuccino emmet my friend #but god damn i spent too much time on this one pic #what did it take me like over a month to make? yeah.... #was really trying hard to capture textures while still maintaining my art style #which who in the seven hells knows what that is #so much detail i dont know if i can keep up with this hahahaha fml #art #my art

[paponela]

let it be know that i DO have an overly elaborate evil beehaw comic in the making, but i've been procrastinating it for over six months

#first it was my graduation and now it's the little videogame men #someone PLEASE take baldurs gate away from me i spent over 60h on this game this month alone and it's the 12th #i haven't left the house in ages i don't remember my friends names #i didnt know there was a butch yang week happening what is going ON #anyway posting so you get mad at me for not finishing anything ever 💕💕 #i still owe you guys the freezerburn comic damn #my art #wip

[cashweasel]

Themm<3 blorbo softness putting me thru it,, they’re committed to the newlyweds energy djdkskdj🥰

#ocs #I lied I’m so obsessed with them it’s not even funny I get physical symptoms from it #they’re giving family gathering after the honeymoon lolll #valen: being part of the conversation ❌ posing for pics ✅ #there’s also something both funny and iconic about a girl posing with a tattoo of her eyes on her man’s arms liek #go off iconic queen you made a man do that! permanently ink your face on his body #this was a wip I nearly gave up on but I was deep in the trenches I decided to finish it and the pose was cute #it’s crazy how much I draw them being in love considering they spent the majority of their lives together being not that lol #I’m ignoring it and choosing to focus on the happily ever after they don’t get in canon but get in the 100 aus I made them to make up for i #also happy early anniversary to my tragic little babies in exactly one month it’ll be 2 years of crying over them 🩷 #I love them so much they make me feel something #my ocs #art #my art #valen x gideon

[kakusu-shipping]

The Ideal polycule in Work, Around the House, and Date outfits

#Emile's Arts #Teruteru #Koro-Sensei #Fatgum #I really wanted to do MORE art for this takeover #I was gonna draw the reaction images and have Koro 'Leak' little snippets of the house and day to day life throughout the month #but my god y'all #I do not have spoons I keep thinking I do and then I draw for an hour and feel like Death #Which is REALLY stupid in my opinion #This took me about 5 hours over all most of it was spent figuring out modern guy fashion #If it was up to me all three date outfits would be dresses I promise #Koro-Sensei'l little moon space dress is so freaken cute with the cardigan and belt #I love him he was the easiest took the least time #I fought with myself for half an hour about putting Teru in a sweater and eventually caved and sweatered him up #I wanted him to dress different but I cannot stop the allure that is Turtle Neck and Blazer #On point like a lazer in him turtle neck and blazer #and scarf to add layering and color #Taishiro took the longest though at 2 hours #The only thought I had going into his outfits was I wanted to keep the hoodie aspect #Becuase he just seems like the guy to always have a coat #He's not like cold he's just comforted by hoodie #Koro-Sensei again was easy 30 minutes I took the longest on the cat ears of his gamer time hoodie #because just his Gamer Girl hoodie wasn't enough #He has many many gamer hoodies and never wears pants #And I love that for him #Anyway midway through this week I'm gonna try to up the amount of art I do #So this week might be a little slow starting as I charge up for it #I have a big ask game for tommorrow and Tuesday though and I'll try to be more on top of asks! #Thankyou everyone again for participating in this Takeover #I just wanted to spend a little more time focusing on these three and their tags were just... always empty?

[kyouka-supremacy]

—

#random rambles #Technically I'm done with this month's header since yesterday. #Practically I've been feeling so insecure about it I've been procrastinating looking for an icon or uploading it at all #Like it *was* natural to have a downgrade in themes I've said it myself a lot of times. After 24+ themes it's understandable I'd run out– #of inspiration (or even simply material) for the very cool stuff #That said. I did very much spend the whole entire day from when I woke up to when I (started studying at past 2am) went to sleep on it #That's what I get for working with the anime tbh. Bones artstyle is ugly there's little to be done about it #While making it I also came up with other two themes concepts. #One is probably going to replace September's plan and the other idk will probably slid to the next year #Idk looking at this year's planned themes lineup it all feels full of things I'm not skilled enough to make... #On top of everything this February's theme wasn't even what I had initially planned!! The one I had initially planned was a chapter 33 pane #Idk why I didn't follow up with it. Maybe I've just grown to think manga panels are too simple (terrible choice) (rip) #I think the thing that bugs me with both the initially picked image and the anime header I made yesterday– #is that there's no smooth transition with the blog. And I know it's not a big deal but pretty much all my themes do and it's bothering me.. #And it shouldn't. Like nearly everyone uses an header that is sharply separate from the blog and they make it work #Uhm.............. #Idk I should be studying besides. #I think I'll either go looking for an icon and see how the overall theme looks on the blog. Maybe I'll like it better then. #Or I'll just start over and see if I can use the ch 33 panel I had in mind and see if I'll like THAT better #It'd just be a shame if after all the time I've spent on it yesterday I'd just let it lie unused on my computer #There's also the fact that black and white of the manga doesn't feel very February-esque... (Don't ask) #Ugh. I hate looking for icons it's always the worst part 😭😭😭 #I was considering the last Beast Atsushi illustration (because ofc I was) but idk. Idk if I can make it work. #And part of me is also like “don't use beautiful Hoshikawa Beast Atsushi on an ugly theme” LOL #But I also suffer heavily from the lack of Beast in this year's lineup. #Okay rant over. Shutting up now #Edit: If this month's theme is ugly please be kind #Edit 2: Jk I've found like four icons. Maybe I'm just very dramatic

[echoofheartbeats]

i took fan edit matters into my own hands for the first time <3

Red White & Royal Blue Fan Edit

Song: "Go There" by Trousdale

#idk what im doing but i spent way too long on this #it was fun though #fan edit #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb on prime #red white and royal blue #henry fox mountchristen windsor #alex claremont diaz #memyselfandi #mypost #myvideo #first video #my post #my video #this movie changed me #it's only been a little over a month what the heck #trousdale #go there #rwrb edit #first fan edit #capcut #prohibitedpolarbear

[facefullabugz]

arrival of the silly

#this is a convention only card. it was given away for free but over time rose to anywhere from 16-40 depending on how greedy the seller felt #anyway. #so i'd been stalking it for a while bc it's cool as shit. and that con was a few months ago. so i was like. ah i just wont get the card. #it's too pricey. i already spent my 'waste money on a pretty card as a little treat' chance on corazon. #anyway. so one piece on ice hits its second show dates #AND OH BABY. THEY GAVE THIS AWAY FOR FREE AGAIN. THE PRICE DROPPED #AND THEN. AND THEN. 2:30 IN THE AM. I SNIPE SOMEONE ON EBAY #I GET THIS BABY ON THE CHEAP. I WON BY 50 CENTS. #THIS IS MY SILLY.

[chirpsythismorning]

📝 💐 🛼 💔⏪️💭🧊🌄❤️‍🩹

I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor

previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist

#stranger things #bizarre love triangle playlist #el hopper #el's pov #i was so happy when i re-listened to this alongside the lyrics when looking for songs from el's pov #'at first i was afraid. i was petrified. kept thinking i could never live without you by my side' #all season long we saw el experiencing heartache over mike and how it led to her feeling insecure as if it was all her fault #she was convinced that if mike didn't love her then she couldn't be happy #'but then i spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong and i grew strong and i learned how to get along' #el spending time away from mike at nina along with all the months of doubt prior to their fallout now having validation... #it wasn't just her loving and falling out of love with mike over the course 3 days #it was her realization that their relationship has been deteriorating for a while now and coming to terms with that in 3 days #'and so you're back from outer-space. i just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face' #this is the main line that reminds me of her brushing past mike and will in the cabin #probably a little more harsh as this song is pretty harsh in terms of the singer not being capable of seeing her ex as even a friend now #but el's earned some harshness after what just went down #that doesn't mean they'll never overcome this #it just means there is still a serious need to confront it which wont be super pretty #and then the forgiveness and acceptance can only come after that #'and you see me. somebody new. i'm not the chained up little person still in love with you' #oooooo get him! #'you think i'd crumble? you think i'd lay down and die?' #sort of reminds me of the assumptions not just mike has but also most of the audience #they think it would be impossible for mike to end things with el bc she would be so broken hearted and she doesn't deserve that #which of course she doesn't #but maybe el knows what she deserves... and it's more than what mike is able to give #'i've got all my life to live and i've got all my love to give and i'll survive. i will survive.' #she's not going to go on forever being hung up on something that wasn't what she deserved in the first place #she will survive ya'll #4x09

[zephyr-draws]

musings on insects, isolation, and how much can change when you're not looking

#i started this like a month ago #and finished it today because i was laughing at how much the sentence 'i'm going bug hunting with my partner' would kill pre-college me #but yeah. i'm still learning to accept that i'm not alone anymore. #learning to love insects was easy. it's a lot harder to learn to love myself #in the wise words of a fic my friend wrote: it sucks so bad sometimes. but even when it sucks it's better. #personal #insects #also all of the scenes in the middle two pages are specific memories that have contributed the most to why neither of those things are true #1. meeting my partner in an entomology class i took on a whim #2. the fateful 8 hour dnd conversation on a field trip for that class that started our friendship #3. trip to a museum (i also could have drawn the part of that trup where i got to hold a cockroach but i don't have a picture of it) #(and i really like that picture of her) #4. seeing a cockroach on the way to class and both of us yelling 'oh my god a little guy!' #5. working at an insect collection together (oh god the things our boss has probably heard) #6. seeing a boxelder bug on the way to see a movie together (we always saw insects when we spent time together) #7. seeing fireflies for the first time when i visited her over the summer :D

[headphonemouse]

Nothing in my life has ever tasted as good as how I imagine cartoon meat that looks like this tastes

#talking tag #orv groundrat meat and yanaspleta stem #literally the only type of meat they eat in one piece #it's funny how in orv when kdj makes bbq skewers they all look like this but when yjh makes skeweres they look like normal ass skewers with #vegetables and everything #it's yjh the only person who has any culinary sense? the real answer is no. kdj is actually capable in the kitchen. the funnier answer is #that yjh was so fed up with being the only person in the universe to have taste buds and maybe a normal sized mouth that he spent an entire #regression turn learning how to perfect his cooking [this part at least is canon] just so he could convince at least one of his companions #to raise their standards and stop eating barely-chopped‚ unseasoned‚ straight off the bone monster meat #i think yjh would refuse to eat an apple unless it was peeled and sliced into cubes with little toothpicks #he wouldnt touch a sandwich until you passed it through a panini press #maybe it has something to do with diligence and intentionally putting effort into something often overlooked #its a lot of effort to cook delicious meals when the world is quite literally falling apart and reshaping itself but in a situation where #he doesnt even have control over his own death‚ he can only treat what he does have control over with the utmost diligence #cooking and eating good‚ healthy‚ SAFE food is something that is entirely his‚ i think #he doesnt need it to survive like fighting. its not a relic of his past that has lost its application like gaming. its a routine‚ a ritual #repeated daily #something that you do every day and by continuing to do it you create things that are more and more enjoyable. something that makes people #smile and feel satiated. something that gets everyone to sit close and share the joy of a single moment. a single meal #is it possible to get tired of that after repeating it so many times? every day? every day every month every year every turn #why doesnt he eat food made by other people? #because its not delicious #and the dumplings? #those were made by someone he loved. someone he loved put their time into mizing the filling and shaping the dough #someone he loves wants him to be safe and fed. and offered him dumplings that they made #was it delicious?

[daydadahlias]

WAIT WHERES MIM?!?! PLEASE TELL ME YOU’LL RELEASE THAT ONE AGAIN PLEASE

I need you guys to understand that the reason I took down my stuff was for my own peace of mind because they're my stories and i started feeling unsafe having them out because of how they - and I - were being treated.

absolutely nothing is wrong with mim and I love that fic and I care so much about it which is why - for my peace of mind - i want it to belong to only me rn. I know the fic was only out a month after i finished it and that really upsets me about taking it down. i want to reupload it because i know people like the fic and i love sharing my stuff but also there's that level of how much the fic matters to me and how much more devastating it makes it when people are cruel. and how much it hurts when I, as the creator of something, am treated like I don't matter at all and that my stuff can so easily be stolen or copied. like, it's an extension of me, yknow? You can't separate content and creator in such a small and intimate sphere as fandom. like, you guys all use my first name when referring to me, yknow?? there's that sense of connection. and since it's such an intimate space, having that trust be betrayed or disrespected is so much more potent than if we were in a large fandom with a lot of creators.

the fear of having MiM copied is really immense and real for me rn and i know that's potentially me being overly paranoid but considering the Amount of times this has started to happen - and how blatantly rude and nasty and entitled readers have been getting with me and other creators over the last year - it's definitely not out of the realm of possibility.

MiM wasn't written for readers, it was written for me. and i shared it because i wanted to and that was wonderful. but to have any of my stuff stepped on so much just doesn't make me feel very safe in this fandom space rn and makes it hard to let people have access to something that matters so much to me.

I'm not saying MiM has been deleted forever, I'm just saying i want some more time for it to be mine.

#like i thought about not uploading scene 14 too especially bc she HAS been stolen verbatim before but. #at this point it just feels too late bc so many people have already read it #yeah i have a lot of conflicting feelings and im not saying i'll never repost mim but i just need some more time with her yknow???? #like she matters a *lot* to me. and im allowed to be a little finicky with her #and this has been just so. immensely hurtful lately #like i spent most of the weekend crying my eyes out over this stuff because it's just so. hard. to consistently share things #and *have* consistently shared things for three years #and to actively *see* the change that's been occuring in this fandom where people just started treating content like it was consumable #and dispensable. and then started just *expecting* things from me and demanding fics or being pointblank rude and like... #i just dont have time for it yknow?? #this stuff is supposed to be *fun*. i do it in my free time and share it with strangers for free bc i want to share the fun with others #and when people start disrespecting that. it makes it hard #like ive had so much more fun in the last week writing fic solely for myself and *not* sharing it than i have in. like. the last month #bc whenever i share fic publicly now. i know im going to have to deal with people potentially stealing it. #or not giving a shit about it and just asking when the next thing is coming. or going on twitter and ? talking about me publicly #where i cant even see it #like it's just been *so* many things lately. and it's hard when this is something i should only be doing to make me happy. #and it's been causing me sm stress instead. #and the fact that i took a week off tumblr and like. i got several pretty?? shitty asks?? that really undermined my feelings on everything. #and made it about themselves like #i dont know how to explain to you guys that we're all people and the whole point of fandom is to *share* with each other #not take. #so yeah i want to be able to share my stuff again and feel comfortable doing that but right now i just dont #and im gonna. get off my soapbox now ok <3 #the biggest thing is that. people act so overly familiar with me by calling me jess in asks and comments and acting like they know me #and then somehow. they are also so mean and devaluing of me? i cant really make sense of it. #ok enough of me. talking about myself. and venting #pigeon #anon

[dwarvenchords]

things i’ve watched or done to fill the time with no f1 over the winter break:

-all of the f1 youtube compilation videos i can find

-smosh (this was all i could digest for like 2 or 3 weeks) (we love giggles for 8 year olds)

-wrapping every single christmas present for the entire family

-all the screaming meals pods

-so many quadrant videos

-making pizza

-dan and phil. (this is another 2 or 3 week all i can digest moment)

-drew gooden, danny gonzales, kurtis conner, alex meyers, cody ko

-rummytile. so much rummytile.

-all of liam’s vlogs

-the percy jackson show

-and today i binged the entirety of 100 days to indy then made a club sandwich and took both dogs on individual walks

if anyone has other things to watch or entertain myself with nostalgic or not please share i am so bored

#this is an important note on my current mental health isn’t it #i’m doing so well #a month and 2 days since the season ended #i spent tonight deleting useless things from my camera roll #i deleted 60GB OF PHOTOS AND VIDEOS #I WENT FROM OVER 80 TO 23GB USED #i hope this was mildly entertaining bc i am putting myself on blast so hard here #y’all thought i just got this weird when i started watching F1?? #you think i WASNT a dan and phil fan growing up??? #if little me could see me post ab dan and phil on tumblr now #they would probably shit themselves #ok bye