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wrestlingwithlife · 10 months

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COD Incorrect Quotes With Our Lovely Y/n

Warning gets a little spicy towards the end ;)

Price: Well, should I be worried?

Y/n: Not yet.

Price:

Y/n:

*loud explosion*

Y/n: Now you can worry

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Y/n: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much?

Gaz: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is!

Y/n: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!!

Gaz: You take that back!!!

Y/n: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.

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Y/n: What are you doing here?

Soap: I could ask you the same question.

Y/n: I live here. This is my room.

Soap: I should probably ask you a different question.

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Y/n: I just heard Ghost call the dog a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there.

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Price: I am going to need you to swear-

Y/n: Fuck.

Price:

Price: ...swear as in promise.

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Price: *shatters a window and climbs through it*

Price: *turns around and helps Y/n through it* Breaking and entering is wrong Y/n

Y/n: Okay.

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Ghost: You read my diary?

Y/n: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

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Y/n: I like your new pants!

Price: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Y/n: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Price: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Y/n: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Price: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Y/n.

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Y/n: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.

Graves: I almost died.

Y/n: That... was my favorite memory.

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Soap: You look good in that hoodie.

Y/n: You know where else I'd look good?

Soap, zero hesitation: My bed.

Y/n, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

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Ghost: This bloodline ends with me.

Y/n: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".

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Y/n: Gaz, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Gaz, naked in Y/n's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Y/n, already taking off his clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

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Price: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Y/n: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

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Y/n: Well, Ghost and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Y/n: That's right... We kissed!

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Y/n: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Gaz: Nope, there's 26.

Y/n: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Gaz: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Y/n: You'll get the D later ;).

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Y/n: What are you in the mood for?

Ghost: World domination.

Y/n: That's a bit ambitious.

Ghost: You are my world.

Y/n: Aww...

Ghost:

Y/n:

Ghost:

Y/n: OH.

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Price: Know why I called you in here?

Y/n: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

Price: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

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Soap: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Y/n: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Soap: Seize the dick.

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Hopefully these helped quench you guy’s hunger whilst I work on my next post.

- Author~Chan out ✌️

#cod modern warfare #cod price #captain john price #cod x y/n #cod x reader #task force 141 x male reader #task force 141 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #cod gaz #incorrect quotes

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keiwook · 11 months

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PRETTY MESS ♡ SMT

synopsis you absolutely despise matthew because he somehow always one-ups you. so when he has to tutor you because of your failing grades, you hate it. though, you start to notice features about him that make him attractive through these sessions.

genre academicrivalandtutor!matthew x gn!reader, angst, suggestive [16+] wc 1.6k warnings matthew is a bit of an ass, some swears, makeout

masterlist

some people are god’s favorite. one of them being none other than seok matthew; the embodiment of perfection.

great face, great body, and great personality. he’s adored by all and to say you were envious, it’s true. since everyone treasured matthew so much, you assumed you could one-up him in one thing, and that being grades.

well.. you were incorrect, seok matthew is annoyingly smart as well and that gave you more reason to detest him. if he wasn’t such an ass to you, perhaps you would’ve been less irritated every time he achieved a better grade than you but of course not.

he was an absolute asshole to you; never failing to one-up you every moment. he had all the cables, pulled all the right strings, and had everyone wrapped around his finger no matter how hard you tried to be better than him.

he was never one to converse with you but all these back-handed compliments he gave were enough to confirm the disdain was mutual. you constantly felt frustrated at how he always maintained the spotlight and refused to share the crown. inconsiderate prick.

you yearned for the attention he has, jealousy reeking off you every moment the teachers praised him for something you could’ve achieved if it wasn’t for his smooth chatters.

arriving at the classroom, you sat down waiting for the teacher’s arrival fishing out a book to fill up the missing time. matthew eyed you as you ignored all the commotion created by other students and concentrated on your reading ‘how could you read in this environment? he thought, seating down as the teacher arrived.

“i’ve completed grading your exams and i’ll be handing them out.” he steps to each table one by one, handing the papers that revealed everyone’s grades. as you acquired yours, you were horrified to see a big C- on your sheet.

shocked at how vastly your grades slipped compared to the previous exams. you were ignorant as your grades in chemistry last time were significantly high so you didn’t prepare that much this time.

“and congratulations to matthew for getting the highest score, again.” a proud smirk tugged on matthew’s lips. you scoff, mentally blaming yourself for not preparing better. before the lesson ended, the teacher pulled you and matthew aside.

“your grades are dropping.. very badly.. so i’ve decided you should have a tutor!” he expressed, smiling as he did tiny claps. “so why won’t i let none other than my star student, seok matthew tutor you!” the teacher’s hand pulling him closer by the shoulder.

you slowly blinked, processing the statement while matthew stood wide-eyed “no sir, i can learn by myself or have another person be my tutor?” you panicked, not wanting to be weak about grades, especially to matthew “ridiculous! matthew’s the best at this subject and you could learn a thing or two.” he beamed.

“sir, i don’t think i have the time to tutor someone who is very behind in their studies, that’ll somewhat put me behind too!” matthew voiced out, you taking offense to that. “matthew, i’m certain you can make some time for your classmate and you two could also work on ‘your chemistry’.” the teacher finger-quoted, emphasising on the ‘chemistry’.

“can’t wait..” you mumble under your breath. displeasure plastered on your face. matthew sighed “whatever, i’ll be in the library after school and only for one hour. i’m busy with more important stuff than your failing grades.” you scoffed, rolling your eyes before dismissing yourself.

your mind already filled to the brim from your previous lessons, now you had to be tutored by someone you loathed. you enter the library trying to find him “you’re late.” a voice belonging to none other than the devil himself pops up behind you.

“do you want to continue doing bad or..?” he raised his eyebrows, clearly annoyed. you ignored his comments, not desiring to interact with him. “here, do this sheet and do it quickly so i can see what you’re struggling at. though, i’m pretty sure you’re struggling at everything.” he snickered, sharply sliding a paper with questions towards you.

reading the first question, none of this made sense to you at all. he saw your complex reaction “first question and you’re already out the door.” he snarked, pulling out his textbook. these remarks biting at your self-esteem every second “you talk too much, it’s annoying.” rolling your eyes, huffing out. you had no choice but to endure this.

matthew ignored you and began to explain the details, but after a while those words became fuzzy and your eyes were on the verge of fluttering shut.

“alright, one hour’s up.” matthew stood up, leaving you and your scattered notes. this went on for the following week. to be honest; you learned to just ignore his mean words which decreased by the days as you didn’t give him the satisfaction of snapping back but as accomplishing so, you have absorbed little to no information. you are so fucked.

this particular day, matthew planned to give you the exact test to see if you understood even a bit. rather than sliding the paper across the table, he laid it in front of you. “i’ll give you 15 minutes.” the gears in your brain going full-blown, writing whatever nonsense you could into the paper. eventually, you gave up and handed him a half_done_half_empty paper. he quirked an eyebrow, honestly expecting you not to answer at all although your answers were slightly off.

“your answers are dumb but at least you answered two questions.” as per usual, he brought out a few notes and his textbook, explaining the same things that you couldn’t seem to grasp. instead of the free knowledge in front of you, your gaze fell on his hands, gradually reaching up to his neck, and jawline. his features look softer than usual and less tense. your intense staring caught matthew off guard. a bit embarrassed as you’ve never looked at him so intently.

he cleared his throat “is there something on my face?” attempting to wipe off invisible smudge. perhaps it was the lethargy from memorising multiple equations but you definitely weren’t thinking straight.

“since when did your face become so nice to look at..?” tilting your head to get a better peek at his jawline, your eyes meet his and matthew’s face immediately overwhelmed with heat. quickly packing up “i think we’re done for today..” he managed to let out without any stutters, pulling his hood over his head as an attempt to cover his bright red ears.

matthew seemed less tense (well before you did THAT to him) and less rude. the thoughts of his astounding visuals surround your mind as you thought ‘was he always this attractive?’ quickly snapping back to reality. this was seok matthew, someone you despised for stealing your spotlight. though, you had more problems than a failing grade now.

the following few days, matthew seemed jumpy, flinching at the slightest brush of your fingers, unable to hold eye contact. you on the other hand, just seemed more intrigued by the boy; wanting to learn more about him (was there a real person behind that arrogant persona?)

now repeatedly asking questions, even smiling at him. matthew felt stupid as his heart skipped a beat each time he saw you smile, something he’s never witnessed alone with you. he never would’ve admit that he started having feelings for you.

unconsciously throughout the days, the periods where he tutored you slowly changed from his most hated time to his best time. he began to stare into your features; your neck, your lips, especially your eyes. he wanted to wreck you for looking at him like that.

he sat down beside you for the next tutoring session, making an effort to avoid eye contact at all costs. this came off as odd because matthew would look at you when he was teaching to get ahold of your reactions to see if you understood or not. it bothered you how you couldn’t see his features properly.

“matthew, are you okay?” you ask, a tint of concern laced your words, it sounded as if you had a reason to care “yeah, do you understand this?” he asks back, changing the subject. still determined to find out, you continue “you seem distracted.” which he was; mind trying to erase thoughts of what he desired to do to you.

“i think we should move on to this chapter.” he ignored, pacing through the notes “matthew.” you touch his hand by the slightest, his breath hitched “you haven’t looked at me this whole time, what’s distracting you?” “you.” eyebrows furrowed at the sudden confession “what?”

“because you drive me fucking insane.”

heat rapidly spreading through your cheeks. he grabbed you by the wrist bringing you to a secluded part of the library, your back facing the nearby wall and matthew towering over you. sudden embarrassment from the position, feeling powerless.

matthew tilted your chin making you look back up at him, the smirk he had got you slowly loosing your mind “god, the way you look at me.” he says, one hand on your waist as he pulls you closer, goosebumps swarming your body, amused at the sight of you vulnerable under his touch.

leaning in closer brushing his lips against yours “they’re soft.” he whispers to your ear. your hands now on his shoulders, matthew delicately peppering a trail of wet kisses to your jawline, down to your neck. stopping as he reached your collarbones, shivers exempting your body.

whining softly when he stopped; at this point, you were just as needy as matthew, now gripping on the hand that was on your waist.

fuck it.

you pulled him closer by the belt, lips crashing onto eachother as butterflies erupted in your stomach, knees becoming weak. his lips were intoxicating, eyes shut but your unsteady breathing still audible.

the little gasps and moans that escaped from you made matthew feel dizzy, eager for more. his hands curling around your waist as yours made their way to his hair to tug it softly as he groaned from the action. there was no stopping from this.

parting away to catch your breath, a string of saliva following along as it connects to your lips. matthew’s lips were red and swollen, hair ruffled and messy from your tugging. his eyes glossy with a hint of lust.

this image of matthew will forever be engraved into you mind, he looked like a pretty mess. your pretty mess.

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bethanydelleman · 7 months

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Northanger Abbey Readthrough Ch 14

PEOPLE THIS IS THE BEST CHAPTER EVER!!!! We have reached the pinnacle of Tilney awesomeness...

my heroine was most unnaturally able to fulfil her engagement, though it was made with the hero himself. This always makes me think of Evelina by Fanny Burney, where the poor heroine always is taken places she doesn't want to go. Luckily for us, the country walk is actually happening! No Thorpes! No rain! Just charming Tilneys.

One of the best earnest quotes in Austen has happened!:

The narrator has taken more of a back seat at this point, but here we have the hero of the novel, openly admitting that not only does he read novels, but he loves them. Henry also seems to understand that Catherine has been mocked about this before, he's very overt in his appreciation of novels. And he calls on her to be proud of him for stealing a novel from his sister, which is just... 🥰🥰🥰 "I am proud when I reflect on it, and I think it must establish me in your good opinion.”

Now is Tilney a little pedantic? Yes. But I find it cute. Sue me.

"...But I really thought before, young men despised novels amazingly.” “It is amazingly; it may well suggest amazement if they do—for they read nearly as many as women.

Catherine has picked up a lot of language from Isabella and Mr. Tilney is subtlety (and not so subtlety) correcting it.

“Henry,” said Miss Tilney, “you are very impertinent. Miss Morland, he is treating you exactly as he does his sister. He is forever finding fault with me, for some incorrectness of language, and now he is taking the same liberty with you. The word ‘nicest,’ as you used it, did not suit him; and you had better change it as soon as you can, or we shall be overpowered with Johnson and Blair all the rest of the way.”...

“Very true,” said Henry, “and this is a very nice day, and we are taking a very nice walk, and you are two very nice young ladies. Oh! It is a very nice word indeed! It does for everything. Originally perhaps it was applied only to express neatness, propriety, delicacy, or refinement—people were nice in their dress, in their sentiments, or their choice. But now every commendation on every subject is comprised in that one word.”

Henry is pointing out both overuse of the word nice and meaning drift. You see a lot of meaning drift comparing Austen's language to ours, words like wonderful, awful, interest, etc. Nice apparently used to mean something close to "neat" and now it means "pleasant" and Henry Tilney is in a battle to preserve it. Well sorry, Mr. Tilney, but you lost. He has a point though, the overuse of a word entirely dilutes it's meaning and can make it basically mean nothing at all.

I love Catherine's speech about history:

The quarrels of popes and kings, with wars or pestilences, in every page; the men all so good for nothing, and hardly any women at all—it is very tiresome: and yet I often think it odd that it should be so dull, for a great deal of it must be invention. The speeches that are put into the heroes’ mouths, their thoughts and designs—the chief of all this must be invention, and invention is what delights me in other books.

She's so right here!

Now while Catherine does spend a lot of time in awe of Henry Tilney and his wit, she does stand on her own opinions. She asserts that "torment" and "instruct" are synonymous and to borrow the phrase of another Austen woman, she will not be laughed out of her opinion! (Jane Bennet, P&P)

Eleanor and Henry soon begin to talk about the picturesque, and from the clues it seems they have opinions similar to Marianne Dashwood and her love of dead leaves. This section is the one I see most quoted by those who think Catherine is too stupid for Henry Tilney or that he is distasteful for wanting to marry an ignorant girl.

I will first point out that ignorance is not equal to stupidity, Catherine is eager to learn. Also, I doubt Henry would have anything to do with the vapid Isabella Thorpe. Catherine may be ignorant about drawing and have trouble with discerning motives, but she is in no way an idiot. If anything, Austen is mocking this sentiment:

Where people wish to attach, they should always be ignorant. To come with a well-informed mind is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others, which a sensible person would always wish to avoid. A woman especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.

But Catherine did not know her own advantages—did not know that a good-looking girl, with an affectionate heart and a very ignorant mind, cannot fail of attracting a clever young man, unless circumstances are particularly untoward.

Does Henry enjoy being admired by Catherine in all his wit and knowledge? Undoubtedly, yes. But he also loves hanging around Eleanor who is just as intelligent as him (riot fears aside). The chief attraction here is not the ignorance. It's primarily the honesty. Here again we have Catherine fully prepared to admit that she doesn't like reading history and that she knows nothing of drawing. She doesn't pretend, she is a creature of no disguise.

Now we get to see Henry making very suggestive statements that go right over Catherine's poor head:

"...Miss Morland is not used to your odd ways.” “I shall be most happy to make her better acquainted with them.” “No doubt; but that is no explanation of the present.”

No doubt! Eleanor is shipping this couple hard. Good for her.

It was no effort to Catherine to believe that Henry Tilney could never be wrong.

Oh Catherine, you've got it bad.

We hear from an Isabella clone (her younger sister), who was left behind from the Clifton Scheme, she is with two of the sweetest girls in the world, who had been her dear friends all the morning and says:

“They set off at eight this morning,” said Miss Anne, “and I am sure I do not envy them their drive. I think you and I are very well off to be out of the scrape. It must be the dullest thing in the world, for there is not a soul at Clifton at this time of year. Belle went with your brother, and John drove Maria.”

Girl, your speech is dripping with envy so much that even Catherine Morland, our intrepid heroine, realizes that you spouting bullshit.

I will give like, 1 half point to Thorpe for actually helping Isabella out and driving his sister to Clifton. But I award it very begrudgingly.

#northanger abbey #northanger abbey readthrough #catherine morland #henry tilney #the best chapter ever #I wait until I reach it #It is wonderful

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solarisricefield · 4 months

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take that you fucking lake

confession i have never gone skipping stones on a lake and don't know what it is

am i even supposed to ramble on art posts. who knows. i'm doing it anyway though and none of you can stop me. /lh

do you ever just really get very motivated to draw to the point where you're finishing multiple pieces a few days in a row. it's so funny bc the other day i posted about "how do other people post finished pieces every day" and then i proceeded to get the motivation to do the same thing. hopefully i didn't just jinx it oh dear oh god am i gonna end up burnt out

honestly not too proud of the art for this one but i thought of drawing this incorrect quote for a while and it's just a meme post so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

went for a 'chibi' look because i learned that it's difficult to make 'idle' (ie non dynamic) full body poses work in my regular style lmao. either that or i should really draw these two more. also wanted to put a background but i cant draw backgrounds so sketchy painted ish

#doing redraws of memes to keep myself motivated #except this time it's an incorrect quote #firealpaca #digital art #omori #omori kel #omori aubrey #rice's scribbles #rice's stuff and things

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that-weird-skeleton-bastard · 5 months

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✨Cult of the lamb incorrect quotes✨ (bishops edition) (and lambert is there too)

Leshy: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

❤️-----------------------------------------------------------------

*While the Squad is in a battle* Shamura, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left! Leshy: Take it back now y'all!

🧡-----------------------------------------------------------------

Heket: What did you get on your shirt? Lambert: Rust. Heket: From what? Lambert: Weapons. Kallamar: Time for more adult supervision.

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Lambert: Man, I’m gonna get fat if you keep feeding me all these chips and junk! Narinder: I’M NOT! I was eating them and you took them. Lambert: You said I should try some! Narinder: I said they were good. Lambert: That’s not how I heard it.

💚-----------------------------------------------------------------

Heket: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Kallamar: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back... Lambert: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Leshy: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Shamura: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Narinder: Mental stability, my old friend! Heket: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

💙-----------------------------------------------------------------

Leshy: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium* Kallamar: Leshy, what did you think a tiger shark was?

💜-----------------------------------------------------------------

Leshy: Do you ever feel like exploding? Have you experienced the urge to enter the process of combustion? Has your mind created a logical idea, known as thought, to disperse your body into thousands of particles suddenly? Heket: It’s 3 am, please go back to sleep.

❤️-----------------------------------------------------------------

Lambert, handing a balloon to Narinder: I have no soul. Have a good day! Narinder, walking off: I don't have one either.

🧡-----------------------------------------------------------------

Leshy: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? Shamura: ICARUS?

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Narinder: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. Heket: Narinder: Vroom vroom, come out already.

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Heket: How are you gonna carve a gigantic pumpkin? Narinder: The same way I make onion rings! Narinder: *grabs a chainsaw*

💙-----------------------------------------------------------------

Leshy: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Heket: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. Leshy: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. Heket: But I heard a siren. Narinder: That was Kallamar. Kallamar: Sorry, I got nervous.

💜-----------------------------------------------------------------

Heket: So uh, for this party and everything, do you, uh... Kallamar, sighing: You don't know how to dress for this, do you? Heket, panicked: WHAT IS CLOTHES???

❤️-----------------------------------------------------------------

Narinder: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes. Kallamar: Wow, I've gotta hear this. Narinder: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share. Kallamar: You forgot pride. Narinder: No, I'm pretty proud of this.

🧡-----------------------------------------------------------------

Shamura: Show me Pennsylvania. Leshy: I don’t know Canadian geography.

💛-----------------------------------------------------------------

Shamura: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Lambert, Narinder, & Leshy: Okay. Shamura: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Lambert: Bold of you to assume I have money. Kallamar: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Narinder: Bold of you to assume I can die.

💚----------------------------------------------------------------

Narinder: I’m afraid of clowns. There, I said it. Shamura: Narinder, if you don't like clowns, why are you hanging with Lambert?

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Lambert: Narinder- Narinder: *sighs* Shamura used to call me Narinder... Lambert: ...Because it's your fucking name.

💜----------------------------------------------------------------

Narinder, holding out a cookie for Lambert: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you! Lambert: *Ugly crying* Narinder, holding out another cookie for Leshy: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! Leshy, throwing their hands in the air: What does that mean?!

🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤

#cult of the lamb #cotl incorrect quotes #cotl shitpost #cotl memes

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spacefinch · 1 month

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Incorrect Quotes: Wild Field Trips edition, part 2:

Ralphie: I'm in my mum's car, vroom vroom.

Dr. Tennelli: Get out of me car!

Ralphie: Awww.

Martin: You have entered RADICAL SATURDAY

Aviva: Today's Friday, though.

Martin: IRRELEVANT

Zach: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.

Gourmand: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Alternatives to “Ladies and gentlemen”:

D.A.: Ladies, gentlemen, and others

Carlos: Ladies and germs

Koki: Beloved friends and tolerated acquaintances

Wanda: Allies, enemies, and those I’m still deciding about

Zach: Fellow scoundrels

Tim: Entities of interest

Jenny: Guys, gals, and non-binary pals

Evan: All y’all

Tim: Folks

Dr. Tennelli: Distinguished guests

Ralphie: Comrades

Martin: My dudes

Chris: A warm welcome to everyone who managed to sneak past the Zachbots

Mikey: Eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. Your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer.

Ronan: Fork

Mikey: Oh, yeah, I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, jester, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin.

Jimmy: Um, you seem to forget that ‘chips’ can also mean fries. And that’s probably what he was talking about, haha

Mikey: I did not forget anything. I purposely ignore the idea of using British vocabulary to do my part in helping it die out.

Keesha: Really? EVERYBODY was kung fu fighting? I find that hard to believe. Stop feeding me these lies.

Chris: Well it was really hard to see if it was everyone, you see they were as fast as lightning.

Carlos: And to be honest, it was a little bit frightening.

Ralphie: KNOWLEDGE is knowing that a tomato is technically a fruit.

Phoebe: WISDOM is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ralphie: PHILOSOPHY is wondering if a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?

Dr. Tennelli, about to kick them both out of the kitchen: COMMON SENSE is knowing that ketchup isn't a smoothie.

Martin: I put my Creaturepod down and now I can't find it.

Chris: Want me to call it?

Martin: It's on silent.

Chris: I'll call it anyway.

*Everyone stands around listening for a faint buzzing sound*

Carlos: I'm going to give raccoons the gift of fire and then teach them ceramics and they will make little bowls with their little hands.

Aviva: You cannot give raccoons that kind of power!

Wanda: The opposite of "the elephant in the room" is "the centipede in the room." Something that's not actually an issue, but everyone's freaking out about.

Chris: As someone who has worked with venomous animals, I can assure you that a centipede in the room is in fact a very big issue.

Gavin: If you have knees, you are valid.

Phoebe: Homophobes have knees, too.

Gavin: Not for long.

Carlos: Who is teaching my dad Zoomer slang?

*earlier*

Mr. Ramon (via text message): What do you think? I totally stan it

Carlos: Stop

Keesha: Stop excluding the B from LGBT. I'm sick of it. British people should be proud of who they are. Screw you.

Zach: What means “I hate you” in dinosaur?

Carlos: No. Dinosaur is the language of love.

Katie: I almost dropped my Creaturepod on my soft carpeted floor but thank god I have lightning fast reflexes and was able to slap it into the wall instead.

Wanda: I heard my brother [Henry] say he was going to Dairy Queen, so I snuck in his car and he has no idea I’m here.

Wanda: He asked his friend what he wanted and I popped up from the floor and said “I was thinking about a milkshake." I have never heard two teenage boys scream louder.

Carlos: Do not stand near the open fire when you have a tube of cocoa butter in your thigh pocket.

Jenny: This is so oddly specific. What happened?

Carlos: I am confident in your ability to figure it out from the clues provided.

Aidan: You’ve heard of mom friends. Now get ready for: Anti-mom friend. They suggest every single impulsive thought that runs through their head like, "Hey, what if you jumped in that pond in the middle of the night?" to the group while the mom friend begs them to stop.

Phoebe: Eldest sibling friend.

(Both of them look at Carlos)

Keesha: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?

Martin: Microwave for 40 minutes

Keesha: Why were you microwaving a lemon??

Martin: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges), but we don't have a big enough pot on the Tortuga.

Keesha: Did you burn an orange too? How??

Martin: Microwave for 40 minutes

Carlos: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.

Phoebe: Are you okay?

Carlos: My cat stole my freakign garlic bread.

Carlos: A theif

DA: Thief?

Carlos: Theif

DA: I before e, except after c

Carlos: Thceif

DA: No

Dr. Skeledon: Children, this is dirt.

Arnold, Carlos, and Phoebe: dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt?

Wanda: My mom is asleep, quick reblog this post with skeletons saying bad words.

Phoebe: 💀Tax evasion

Keesha: 💀Gerrymandering

Carlos: 💀Music piracy

Gavin: 💀Rug burn

Mikey: 💀Frick

#magic school bus #incorrect quotes #wild kratts #wild field trips

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leffee · 20 days

Text

More lps generated incorrect quotes except this time I decided not to put them as screenshots but simply copy them like that because they're easier to read this way (stealing lps-incorrect-quotes' job :O):

Vinnie: Why does Sunil always do the laundry so loudly?

Russell: So everyone knows that no one helps him out in the house.

Sunil, in the distance: * slams the washing machine shut*

Vinnie: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

Russell: Awwww, you're so adorable! Give me a hug~

Vinnie: Wh- What? NO, YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Sunil, recording: This is so cute.

Vinnie, negotiating with Sunil

Sunil: We have Russell. Give us ten thousand dollars and he will be returned to you unharmed

Russell: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I'm only worth ten thousand dollars?

Vinnie:

Russell: MAKE IT ONE MILLION-

Vinnie: Russell STOP

Vinnie: If you had to choose between Sunil and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Russell: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Sunil: Russell!

Vinnie: 63 cents.

Russell: I'll take the money.

Sunil: Russell!!!

Sunil: What time is it?

Vinnie: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out

Vinnie: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Russell: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Vinnie: It's 2 am

Sunil: Yo dumbass, get over here.

Russell: Okay.

Vinnie: * gleefully runs past* I'm coming!

Russell, sadly: I thought...I was dumbass...

Sunil: Vinnie, I am questioning your sanity...

Russell: I never questioned it, I knew his sanity was missing from the start.

Sunil: Well, remember when Russell made a romantic dinner for me?

Vinnie: Sunil, he microwaved you a pizza.

Sunil: You bought a taco?

Vinnie: Yes.

Sunil: From the same truck that hit Russell?!

Vinnie, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help him.

Sunil, driving Vinnie and Russell: So how was your day?

Vinnie: We almost got surprise adopted!

Sunil: What?

Russell: We almost got kidnapped.

Sunil: Oh, okay.

Sunil: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

Sunil: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper?

Russell: I feel like we've all done that at least once.

Vinnie: I ate it too-

Russell: See?

Vinnie:-On purpose...

Sunil & Russell: ...What?

Vinnie: Sunil is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Zoe: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Pepper: Tackle them!

Russell: Dump them.

Penny: Kick them in the shin!

Sunil: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

Vinnie: *dies*

Pepper: Timer starts now! When is he coming back? I say two months!

Sunil: Bullshit. One month.

Zoe: Nah, half a month.

Russell, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? A PERSON JUST DIED!

Penny, scratching chin in thought: One week.

Vinnie, rubbing his temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette.

Pepper: But Vinnie, we don't smoke.

Vinnie: Cut the crap, Pepper. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

Vinnie: *points at Penny* One! *points at Sunil* Two! *points at Russell* Three! *points at Zoe* Four! *points at Pepper* Five!

Vinnie: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers!

Zoe: *puts a cigarrette in Vinnie's hand*

Vinnie: Thank you. ...Light?

The Squad: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

Vinnie: You know, when Pepper comes over, Zoe can get a little…

Sunil: Psycho?

Russell: Scary?

Penny: Drunk?

Vinnie: All three.

Vinnie: Fine! Judge all you want but...

Vinnie, points at Penny: Married a lesbian.

Vinnie, points at Zoe: Left a man at the altar.

Vinnie, points at Sunil: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer.

Vinnie, points at Russell: Threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire.

Vinnie, points at Pepper: Lives in a box!

Since I copied them in text I thought that I could just change names manually if they didn't fit, but then I left them the way they were generated because I decided that it was funnier like that :D

#lps 2012

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serendertothesquad · 5 months

Text

OKAY LET ME TALK ABOUT THE ARTICLE NOW.

There is...there is so much to discuss. How do I even start this post, honestly? Current stays winnin' with their long-ass articles but stays bitchin' in the worst way with their shitty-ass paywalls. Fuck paywalls, all my homies hate paywalls.

Anyway, look below the break.

casting calls ended on october 17th they just finished filming

Look, for 12 episodes, that's a hell of a crunch. Proud of 'em, really.

Also, I think we all know what it's gonna be marketed as in the States. If you don't then I'll give you the money to go to college so you can attend my Odd Squad class. It's only fair.

So I guess this explains why Netflix wasn't part of the deal. Either that or those articles I read were wildly incorrect on Netflix being a contributing helper.

...I mean okay, granted they could still be handed off to Netflix, just not in the US because...well, it's Fred Rogers Productions. They'll be damned if they plop their IPs into the hands of any streaming service that isn't named Prime Video.

This also means that maybe FRP will have a lesser hand in this than I thought, which isn't really all that surprising if one looks through their social media pages. Odd Squad was barely promoted on Twitter even before that account went near-radio-silent.

Okay, this is actually kinda interesting. Makes me feel like I should move to the UK just to see what, exactly, appeals to the British there. I mean outside of the comedy, of course.

Also, I know the pandemic affected a load of things about the franchise, but for it to birth an entire-ass new series is just downright insane. Not that insane, because that's how Lockdown was born, but yeah, pretty fucking insane!

...

Wait, Season 4 has 12 episodes? Like an anime? When Odd Squad already has anime elements?

Oh I'm gonna be an insufferable bitch when this comes out. Y'all have been warned.

Hey, hey, does anyone remember when Fred Rogers Productions got in trouble for not meeting grant requirements when it came to Odd Squad? Along with failing in accounting when it came to other IPs?

Pepperidge Farm remembers. I remember. No one else in the fandom remembers, but oh do I remember.

(Odd Squad cost $18 million for Season 1. Sit on that for a minute. Really think about how much that shit would be worth now, especially with inflation as bad as it is. It was a lot back then and it still is for some but it seems like mere pennies now, huh?)

I point this out because the fact that they had to seek out funding from outside sources that were not part of the hellshow of circus freaks that is the US government is absolutely hilarious to me.

You guys are married to TVO too, but you apparently don't like to talk about that. Shit's for people in all of those states that border Canada. Everyone else can go fuck themselves, not my quote.

That aside, though, I do like how PBS airing British media has finally implored them to do a "what if" scenario with their cartoons. It's been, what...decades? That's like swinging the bat long after everyone's left the stadium. Except for the audience, they're sticking around for some reason.

Look, Tim McKeon said the same thing about Season 3 and we all know how that turned out. I pray derivativeness is a virtue that will be buried deep into the ground by the time Odd Squad UK rolls around because we really can't afford to pick 12/24 episodes at random across 100+ of them to pry and copy plots from. And believe you me, I will know the difference between a simple harmless continuity nod and sheer derivativeness.

To put it simply: Sinking Ship and I have very different takes on "the same but also different".

Damn, RIP to Mark. I'm glad he's still working on the show, though for him to step down as showrunner for Odd Squad UK is...well, it's probably the best move looking at what we ended up with.

...I'm probably misinterpreting that. And/or it's journalism being journalism. C'est la vie.

I guess them sending over wardrobes is why Orli and Ozzie aren't decked to the nines in...uh...well, British versions of the Investigation agent uniform. Whatever those look like.

Again, you could say the same thing about Season 3 and we all know how that shit turned out.

I still have optimism, but there's a real damn pessimist side of me waiting to break free.

I'm choosing to believe "socioeconomic diversity" was how they picked about half to 3/4 of the writers for Season 3, because a majority of them either have very small resumes, have never worked on anything with a kid demo, or both.

The difference between them and the kids in this spinoff/new season, however, is that one group sucks and the other one likely doesn't.

(Yeah yeah, I'm making a lot of Season 3 jabs. But it's easy to make comparisons to that versus Season 1 and Season 2. Bite me.)

To maintain continuity with the original series' Canadian cast

Or "we need to have at least one Canadian thing to qualify for all those Canadian tax breaks and subsidies, and also uhhhhhh we're no lawbreakers".

There you go. I fixed it. Thank me later.

Also, they don't mention it, and it probably won't be mentioned until some article pops up in 2024 about it, but rest assured they're talking about Orli here. While I dig her backstory, I'm not so sure if I'm so keen on another audience surrogate after how badly they flubbed Osmerelda within 13 episodes. Granted, this is a different kind of audience surrogate -- Orli's not a "haha relatable funy thing for kids and the 'rents" surrogate, she's an "I'm a Canadian idiot who has never been to this country, please teach me" surrogate -- but still, I'm not so hopeful about them being able to write her well. Worst case scenario, we end up with a character who drinks maple syrup by the bottle, loves hockey, and drops an "eh?" every other sentence.

Oh I'm sensing a load of "tube" puns are gonna be made this season, lemme tell ya.

Okay okay, but real talk, this is actually kinda neat. Gonna be a little weird to see, but neat. The hell needs the lil' kiddie cars when you got trains to ride?!

Hey, hey, you guys remember when Odd Squad first premiered and PBS Kids put out a whole ton of new stuff for it? They had games at the ready and everything? They were so hyped for this shit they poured everything they had into it?

Pepperidge Farm remembers. I remember. No one else in the fandom remembers, but oh do I remember.

Needless to say, they don't really do that anymore for new shows. It's all the same cookie-cutter pre-release formula. When they did it for Odd Squad it was special. When they did it for Alma's Way and Elinor Wonders Why...not so much.

...Oh yeah, and the math stuff, the math stuff is cool, I like that. Here's hoping they can put new concepts into play instead of rehashing old ones.

"just 10-year-olds" the show is aimed at a 2-5 demographic

Now, see, this is where the funny irony comes in. Everyone laugh at the funny irony here. Now everyone cry because this seems more like a fitting comment for if GO! still existed and the show was on it.

Ahhh, now, see, this is where things get interesting.

Those of you keeping up with PBS Kids news might be aware of the network shifting to more short-form content as a way to nab viewers while also cutting costs significantly, hence why we're getting new podcasts and other short-form content in addition to full-length shows. PBS Kids has been in the short-form game since the late 2000s with the WordGirl shorts but they never truly dipped their toes into the short-form format until Elinor Wonders Why's That's So Interesting shorts and the Odd Squadcast came out. Those were the true floodgate-openers right there, paving the way for a host of old IPs being refreshed in addition to new IPs.

I remember when they dropped eight new shorts of two different series and thinking it was an April Fools joke because they were published on April 1st with absolutely no forewarning. I found out the news from someone else who had put the images up on the Wiki and I laughed my ass off at just how ridiculous it was. And then I found out they were real, and I sobbed.

...No wait, not the Meeting. Scratch that. I forgot it's changed dramatically since the days of yore. Moving on!

Whether this comment means we'll be getting Season 2 of the Odd Squadcast (which, y'know, is unlikely now), Season 3 of OddTube (ah, now that seems more likely), or more shorts outside of the two series we already have (Gadget Testers and Book of Games) is unknown at this point. But if anything, news is gonna break during upfronts like the TCA Press Tour and the PBS Annual Meeting.

It'll air in a year and they're already milking it for all it's worth. Byootiful. Clearly they have not learned from the last time they did a dramatic franchise shift and it paid off. AHEM MOBILE UNIT AHEM.

If they wanted to, they could grow some balls and go for broke. Do 28 more to be on par with Season 1.

No but seriously, I love how the fate of Odd Squad UK is so contingent on ratings. Let's not forget how Ready Jet Go and Let's Go Luna got unfairly sniped with no reason given (and then they brought back RJG with a movie like they still cared...lol get rekt) and let's not forget that they could easily do the same with Odd Squad at any time in spite of its ratings. They revived Super Why back from the dead, they revived Clifford back from the dead...they did it with Odd Squad and it's only been a wee bit over a year.

------------------------------

I'm not really opposed to Odd Squad being set in other regions -- it probably does better internationally than it does in the States, but we have no way to know that for sure -- but they're acting very sus with this portion specifically. I've got my eye on them.

All in all, this article has me pretty excited for the new spinoff/Season 4/how the fuck am I supposed to market this. Shame it's supposed to air in late 2024 (though maybe it'll air on CBBC in the spring because of that casting call...holy fuck I just thought of that as I was typing this post, real shit, lemme get my poker chips and bet on this RN) but I'm hyped for it either way and will happily lap up any and all press coverage on it until it airs. 2024's gonna be a big year.

If you guys reading this find any news on it, send it to me through an ask or a submission! We've got one more month before we launch into 2024 and if my theory about CBBC airing it earlier is true then we'll have to really be on the lookout for it as soon as January.

#odd squad pbs kids #odd squad #pbs kids #seren speaks (about odd squad)

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hannahhook7744 · 1 year

Text

Badun Detective Agency Incorrect Quotes (Part 1);

Trigger warnings; death threats, faking a disability, swearing, crime, etc. Let me know if I should add to the trigger warnings.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Hermie: Eddie, quick, reel it in! Can't you hear the music? That's a 4/4 string ostinato in D minor! Every sailor knows that means death! Reel it in before it's too late!

Eddie *wishing he hadn't gone fishing with Hermie* I know, I know I'm trying!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Harry: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.

Jace: Go the fuck to sleep Harry

Harry: Rude!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Yzla: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Eddie: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Jace: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Reza: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Harry: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Hermie: I have emotional scars.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Jace: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE A SPLEEN?

Harry: Oh, I thought I told you about that.

Eddie *sipping on a slurpee* no, no. You told me about that after I told you about my kidney.

Jace: YOU'RE MISSING A KIDNEY?!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Jace, rubbing their temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarette

Yzla: But Jace, we don't smoke.

Jace: Cut the crap, Yzla. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

Jace *points at Eddie* One! *points at Harry* Two! *points at Reza* Three! *points at Hermie* Four! *points at Yzla* Five!

Jace: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarette between these two fingers!

Harry *puts a cigarette in Jace's hand*

Jace: Thank you....Light?

The Squad: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Hermie: I’m in love with you.

Eddie: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Hermie: I know.

Eddie: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Reza: Did it hurt when you fell-

Yzla: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt—

Reza: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Yzla:

Reza: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Eddie: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Hermie: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Eddie:

Eddie: You mean ring bearER, right?

Hermie:

Eddie: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Yzla: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate—like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Reza: This is a lie.

Reza: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Reza: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Yzla: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Reza: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Yzla: Stop.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

~~~Bonus: The Protégés~~~

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Hadie *sighing* a fate worse than death.

Yzla *embarrassed and annoyed* They're burnt cupcakes! They aren't gonna kill you!

Hadie: that's what they all say.

Yzla: Who's they?!

Hadie *shrugs* They.

Yzla *turning purple with frustration as she throws her hands up* That explains nothing!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Jace: WHY IS THERE A MAGIC PORTAL IN THE TOILET?!

Hadie and Edith: I DIDN’T DO IT!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Red to Danny and Glauco: If we get caught.. You're deaf, he’s blind, and I don’t speak English. Got it?

Danny: Alright. Sounds good to me.

Glauco: How am I supposed to fake being blind?

Red: I don’t know! Do I have to figure everything out myself?

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Hadie: OW! BAD MYSTERY, BAD! MY FINGER IS NOT A CHEW TOY!

Mystery *still biting his finger*

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Hadie, in the underworld with his crush: Would anyone like some refreshments? I have pomegranates!

Danny: Oooo, don’t mind if I do—

Chloe *Quickly smacks Danny’s hand before he can grab one* NO NO NO! NO POMEGRANATES!

Danny: ow! What is up with you?

Chloe *exasperated* Just do not eat anything given to you down here. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

Hadie *pouts* It wasn’t even grown down here.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Maddox, seeing a banana sitting in a car seat: What the FUCK??!

Maddox, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!

Edith:

Maddox:

Edith: This is exactly why I have no interest in dating.

Maddox: Do you wanna get an A in Family Studies or not?

Edith: To be perfectly honest, I think this is stupid. How is taking care of a stupid banana with googly eyes glued on supposed to prepare us for parenthood? I don’t even want kids! We’re still kids!

Maddox *gasps dramatically and covers the Banana’s nonexistent ears* Don’t talk about Hattie like that!

Edith: You name—WE ARE NOT NAMING IT THAT!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Deja to Maddox: Why? Why do you do this! *gestures to the stolen antique photos covering Maddox’s side room*

Maddox: Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Lada, playing McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Zuri: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.

Lada: Spear.

Zuri: BLOCKED.

Lada: You can’t block me! We’re in real life!

Zuri *growls* Watch me! *slams door in her face*

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Paro: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

Panos:

Paro:

Panos: ...Please, go back to bed.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Khalil: Hey, let’s mess with Miriam, guys!

Avalon: Hey,Miriam, your momma so fat-

Miriam: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison.

Everlee: Well, uh- your dad-

Miriam: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequentially sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets.

Avalon: The fuck-

Lazarus: Well then...

Khalil: Stop, Lazarus!

Lazarus: Your grandparents so-

Miriam: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted.

Miriam: You cannot best me, mortals.

Lazarus: Your brother so—

Everyone else: LAZARUS!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Avalon: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

Khalil: Please, just say fuck.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Lazarus *out cold on the ground*

Everlee: Oh my god, do you think they’re okay?!

Miriam, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! *dumps all of the water on Lazarus’s face*

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

~~~Bonus: Elle (Jace's civilian partner)~~~

Jace: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Elle: AS ENEMIES?!

Jace:

Jace: No.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵

Jace, sweating: Elle, there’s something I need to ask you-

Elle: Finally! You’re proposing!

Jace: How’d you know?

Elle: Jace, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Elle: I even picked it up once.

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lover-of-skellies · 10 months

Note

Please please please know you're appreciated. Your life itself is precious, but I'll get to that in a little. Let's start with her on Tumblr and sorry this will be a little long. Don't be startled, I only mean the best with this message.

I got into Undertale and it's AUs about a year after it was first released. And I think just about the first time I'd ever heard of the term "incorrect quotes" was from you and your blog. And honestly they're always a delight to see when they cross my dash. This is a side blog and in it's creation I still looked for you since your content is always a delight. Always brings a smile, a laugh, or just a sense of silliness or oddity that's a fresh breath of air. Even when they're not quotes and you're sharing your interests our your thoughts, I appreciate you crossing my dash. It lets me know you're okay.

Even if your content changes, a consistency I always get a smile at is seeing your icon. Even if I didn't read Your username I could still recognize you from the itty bitty skeleton. You're a delight to see, that'll not change. I hope you don't feel restricted to what you share, you should be able to post what makes you smile. Is you have another side blog with your other hobbies/interests because you're trying to keep this one UT AU related then please drop the name cause I'd give a follow there too.

I'm sorry things have shifted since a few years ago where reblogging was more common than it is now. I could believe it could be disheartening when some of your posts may not feel as appreciated as others. It's a small notion, but think of your posts being in a gallery. Your followers or maybe fans of UT or silly incorrect quotes will cross your posts. Sure, they won't all interact. Kinda an inevitability. But that doesn't mean we don't see the effort, or feel the silliness your posts convey. Your quotes have inspired others to draw artwork because of how your work resonated with them. Your quotes inspire writing or help artists provide perceive ideas that your quotes correlated with. You've helped make the world a more colorful place for artists (writers/artists alike) and that's something to be proud of. I'm proud of you for it. I smile and get proud for you when I see others get inspired by your work.

And to you, sweet little bean, little skeleton, little star. We don't see what's going on past what you share online. But the life you live outside the internet, I'm allowed to appreciate you there too. How can a person not be cherished? You're alive, you made it to today with me too. You've gone through your struggles others aren't aware of, you've probably conquered some that others noticed but pretended to ignore. You beat those, they weren't for attention, even if you hoped to gain attention it's because it was the only way you hoped or could think of to get help. No matter how kicked you feel, if you feel you've fallen short, you haven't. You are your own biggest critic, it's not bad to have expectations, but please be gentle to yourself.

Take a breather, take a drink of water, have you eaten? Have you been getting enough sleep? When was the last time you complimented yourself. When was the last time you acknowledged life isn't perfect, so expecting greatness 24/7 is not a life you should try to live. When was the last time you allowed yourself to feel small; to not feel the urge to have the answers, to feel like you're okay not being in control for a little while to catch that breather?

You're a precious little star in my night sky. No matter how dim life may seem, you're always a glowing beacon for me. As long as you breath, your life can burn bright for others. No matter how quiet space may seem, you're not glowing alone, you're adding to the beauty that is life. And it fills me with delight to know I'm continuing to tomorrow with you. I don't have to follow or know you to be grateful you're alive. Your life is finite, irreplaceable, and so so precious. How can I not appreciate you? Thank you for being around, thank you for what you share, please know you're always appreciated, even if you don't know it before, even if it can seem hard at times to accept, you are appreciated.

✨ * . 🌟 . * .

. ⭐ . * . ✨ .

. 🌕 * ⭐ ⭐

. * ✨ * . *. * ⭐

. 🌟 * * *

I am. Deadass about to get a little emotional. I wasn't expecting such a long message that contained so much niceness, but I'm very grateful that you took the time to type everything out and send it to me

I do have a handful of other blogs, some of which are pretty dead, but still. My main is @ohgodallthefandoms-backup, which is where I reblog a lot of whatever I find that I like. There's a lot of fnaf stuff there, so I've been thinking about making a fnaf blog, too. My other blogs are in my pinned post, if you're curious about them at all

Again, it means a lot to me that you felt like sending me such a long, thoughtful message, and I'm very grateful. I'm probably gonna take a screenshot tbh, that way I can look at it later when/if I need a boost. I'm awkward with words and I'm not used to things like this, but I really appreciate you too, and I'm gonna be thinking about what you said for a while

#eiffelfeller #asks #!!!!#cherishing this and keeping it close to my heart forever

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octoagentmiles · 1 year

Text

silvergate please let me write above and beyond S4 i deserve it <3 👍 :)

(also known as Incorrect Quotes but Actually Written By Me edition. it's mostly Natquik and Calico Jack, and all of it is very self indulgent and dumb. please enjoy <3)

it's under a readmore because i made more than i thought and the post got a little long oops-

————

Natquik: "You're a genius!"

Calico Jack: "I am? :D"

·.·

Natquik: "Understand? Yes yes?"

Calico Jack: "Aye aye!"

Natquik: "Good good!"

·.·

Calico Jack: "Hey Nat!"

Natquik, turning around: "Yes–?" *gets decked in the face with a snowball*

Natquik: ... >:0

Calico Jack: >:3

Barnacles, having flashbacks knowing full well what's about to go down: :O

·.·

Tracker (on accident): "Hey dad?"

Natquik, Calico Jack, and Ranger Marsh, in unison: "Yes?"

·.·

Natquik: "Hey Barnacles."

Barnacles: "Yes?"

Natquik: "I can't remember the last time I told you this, but I'm proud of you."

Barnacles: ...

Natquik: "...Are you okay?"

Barnacles, crying: "Yeah I'm fine,,"

·.·

Tweak: "Do you ever want to talk about your feelings?"

The rest of the Octonauts: "No."

Tweak: "Yeah me neither, pass the cocoa."

·.·

Tracker: "Ever since I became an Octo-Agent, I–"

Bianca: "Wait, a what?"

Tracker: (*insert blinking guy*) "........Uhhh–"

Barnacles, somewhere else: "Why do I feel like I'm in trouble??"

·.·

Natquik: "I finished that [thing] you wanted, Barnacles."

Barnacles: "Perfect, thanks dad."

Barnacles: "I MEAN PROFESSOR DAD-"

Barnacles: "DADQUIK-"

Natquik: ?? :))

Barnacles: *opens the windscreen, jumps out, and runs away*

·.·

Natquik: "Barnacles,"

Tracker, not Barnacles: ????

Natquik, who has done this 30 times since meeting him: "I'm so sorry–"

·.·

Calico Jack, freaking out because he broke something: "THE CAPTAIN IS GONNA KILL ME-- (SOB)"

Natquik (very bad at emotional comfort), who raised Barnacles from a cub, and has literally watched him cry over having to hunt in order to Not Starve: "How in the WORLD did you get that idea??"

·.·

Paani: *doing something reckless and dumb*

Barnacles and Kwazii, in unison to each other: "You are so much alike, y'know—"

Still in unison: "—wait what??"

·.·

Tracker 10-ish years ago, trying to learn how to use a radio: "It's so hard... they should get someone else for this job :("

Barnacles: "You can do it, Tracker! Trust yourself!"

[present day.]

Tracker, training to be an Octo-Agent: "I don't know, guys... maybe I'm not cut out for this..."

Peso: "Don't say that! You can do it, you just have to trust yourself :)"

Tracker: "........this feels familiar."

·.·

CJ: "Ahoy! I'm Calico Ja–"

Natquik: "Yes yes, I know."

Calico Jack: "...You do?"

Natquik: "Yes. I saw you get crushed by a tree."

Calico Jack: (*not sure whether to be relieved or embarrassed*) "...oh,, okay,,"

·.·

Calico Jack, calling out: "Be careful, Kwazii!"

Kwazii: "Aye aye, grandad!"

Barnacles: "Heh,"

Natquik: "You too, Barnacles!"

Barnacles: ...

Kwazii: "HAHA–"

————

#not s3 bc it has been written already #but s4..... hey silvyyyyy-#octonauts #incorrect quotes but from my brain edition #i want tracker to remind natquik of barnacles so much #i want him to accidentally call him barnacles or just flat out say ''you're so much alike wow-'' my life would be complete ✨#i want tracker to do something and for natquik to instantly recognize and point out that he taught barnacles that trick #please. please please please please plea- 🙏🙏🙏💝#please enjoy my ''yes yes?'' ''aye aye.'' joke i think it's hilarious and the best thing i have ever written /hj #this whole post is 100% self indulgent hhhhh 💞😂✨#y'all underestimate my willingness to genuinely write an entire season of this show by myself 🌠✨ I'd do it for free hfhsdjsk #this has been in my drafts for so long it's clogging it up- take it away from me out of mercy please- /hj #i've just been holding on to it for no reason pfff #but anyway.

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sokkas-first-fangirl · 2 years

Note

I for one live for Mariano and Isabela being bros/besties 🛐💕

Mariano Guzman, King if Himbos, long may he reign 🙏

A bit of a “deleted scene” from Flickering

Thank you “Friends,” for the incorrect quote

Mariano was a big dumb hunk, okay? Mirabel liked him a lot, but that boy didn’t have two brain cells to rub together at the best of times.

Case in point, they had gathered to plot revenge against Catalina Arias. Mariano had happily answered Dolores’s summons to Casita and he listened as Camilo explained the plan.

For once, Mariano looked serious and downright offended. Mirabel was pretty sure she’d never seen Mariano look annoyed before. He was usually so easy-going and never one to hold grudges. For instance, Isabela accidentally broke his nose twice with flowers, then dumped him, and he still cheerfully referred to her as one of his best friends. Mariano simply didn’t have a spiteful bone in his body.

“Would you like to help?” Dolores asked him.

Mariano nodded as if he’d been given a very important mission. Which, to be fair, Mirabel would argue he had.

“Of course, amor!” he said. “No one should be allowed to get away with slandering your dear uncle! I would be proud to defend Señor Bruno’s honour!”

Even Isabela smiled then (Mirabel swore she even heard her sister murmur, “Aw,”) and Mirabel was reminded why she liked Mariano in the first place. Yes, he was a big dumb hunk, but he had a big heart too. Mirabel honestly enjoyed being his friend. They all did.

“But we must make sure Señora Arias truly learns her lesson,” Mariano said. “She must understand why she was wrong, or this is all a moo point.”

…Say what? Mirabel thought.

Isabela sighed, slouching in her seat. Camilo snorted.

Mariano looked perfectly serious.

“A moo point?” Mirabel asked uncertainly. Maybe he’d just misspoken.

Isabela didn’t look surprised. She was grinning outright. Exasperated, definitely, but fond and amused.

“Let him explain,” she said. Mirabel had the feeling Isa had heard this before.

“Sí.” Mariano nodded, giving Mirabel those big, earnest eyes. “Like a cow’s opinion. It doesn’t matter, you know? It’s moo.”

“I think cow’s opinions matter,” Antonio said, which only set Camilo off laughing.

Dolores fondly patted Mariano’s arm. Even she was giggling at him.

Mirabel shook her head fondly, barely biting back her own laughter. A moo point. She had to find Tio Bruno, he’d get a kick out of this.

“Ay, Mariano,” Isabela giggled. “You’re lucky you’re pretty.”

He beamed at her. “Aw, thank you, Isa!”

Camilo laughed so hard he fell off his seat. Giggling, Mirabel fled Camilo’s room in search of Bruno. He had to hear this.

As she left, she heard Isabela say, “Welcome to the protection squad.”

#flickering #deleted scenes #answers #asks #prompts #mariano guzman #mariano said himbo rights #with the dawn you rise (with the day you blaze)#encanto #encanto fanfic #madrigal family shenanigans #mirabel madrigal #dolores madrigal #camilo madrigal #isabela madrigal #antonio madrigal #snippets

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strangerobsession · 1 year

Text

Had fun with an incorrect quotes generator with the ST crew and my OC. Enjoy the madness.

Try it yourself!

Eddie and April

April: Is something burning? Eddie, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you. April: Eddie, the toaster is literally on fire.

. . .

Eddie, sweating: April, there's something I need to ask you- April: Finally, you're proposing! Eddie: How'd you know? April: Eddie, you've dropped the ring five times during dinner. April: I even picked it up once.

. . .

April: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this.... Eddie: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card? April: Holy moly-

. . .

April: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. Eddie: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

. . .

Eddie: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. April: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Eddie: I said within reason, April. How about I murder that guy? April: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Eddie: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

. . .

Eddie, April, Gareth and Jeff

Jeff: I'm cold Gareth: Here, take my hoodie. *meanwhile* Eddie: I'm cold. April: I can't control the weather, Eddie.

. . .

Gareth: Do you love April? Eddie: Yeah, I do. Gareth: Jeff! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks! Jeff: We all love April. You should've asked if he was IN love with her. Eddie: I thought that was implied. Jeff: ... Gareth: ... Eddie, looking straight at Jeff: Congrats Gareth, you just won 100 bucks.

. . .

Eddie: ARE YOU- Jeff: Fucking. Eddie: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Jeff: Fucking. Eddie: IDIOT! Gareth: ...What was that? Jeff: April banned Eddie from swearing, so I'm helping him out.

. . .

April: I love you. Eddie: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that. *April and Eddie kiss passionately* Jeff, to Gareth: You owe me 20 dollars.

. . .

*Everyone is playing a board game together* Eddie: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'. Gareth: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'. Jeff: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'. April: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'. Jeff: *flips the board*

. . .

Eddie, April, Steve, Nancy and Robin

Steve: You're a lying piece of shit! Eddie: Oh yeah! You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Nancy: I'm leaving and I'm taking Robin with me! April, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

. . .

Nancy: Guys... the principal just called- Robin: It was April! April: It was Steve! Steve: It was Eddie! Eddie: It was me!

. . .

April: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Steve: Several traffic violations. Robin: Three counts of resisting arrest. Nancy: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Eddie: Also, that's not our car.

. . .

Eddie: April's first detention, I'm so proud. Steve: Woad, back up. Why did she get detention? Nancy: Because she's an idiot. Robin, terrified: She can do that??

. . .

Robin: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses. April: This knife is actually a magic wand. Eddie: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel. Nancy: *cocks gun* Magic missile. Steve: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

. . .

April, Eddie, Dustin, Mike, Lucas and Erica

Dustin: Just be yourself! Eddie: Really? Dustin, I have one day to win over April's parents. Eddie: How long did it take for you guys to like me? Mike: Couple of weeks. Lucas: Six months. Erica: Jury's still out. Eddie: See Dustin! 'Just be yourself' what kind of garbage advice is that?!

. . .

April: Eddie is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do? Dustin: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him. Lucas: Tackle him! Erica: Dump him. Mike: Kick him in the shin! Eddie: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

. . .

*after the Squad has been separated for a few years* Dustin: So, what have you been up to lately? Eddie: Leading a revolution with April. Dustin: Good for you! Me, I've joined the mob. Eddie: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome! Dustin: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Lucas? Eddie: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Mike? Dustin: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. Erica? Eddie: Cult leader. Dustin: Yeah, that sounds about right.

. . .

Erica: Dumbest scar stories, go! Dustin: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. April: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned. Lucas: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Mike: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn. Eddie: I have emotional scars.

. . .

April: Bye Eddie! Bye Erica! Bye Mike! Buy Dustin! Bye Eddie! Lucas: You said 'bye Eddie' twice. April: I like Eddie.

#stranger things #stranger things season 4 #stranger things 4 #stranger things oc #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #hellfire club #stranger things gareth #stranger things jeff #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #mike wheeler #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #erica sinclair #incorrect quotes #stranger things incorrect quotes

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kaylinelizabeth4004 · 8 months

Text

All This And Heaven Too

Summary : Aziraphale and Crowley go to get coffee and decide to indulge in a little moment of life by dancing in the rain.

Not inspired but some vibes from All This and Heaven Too by Florence and the Machine

"Now why would they do that?"

"The sign!" Crowley said eagerly, waving a hand in the direction. "Oh Angel, it's the - the - the sign, title, shop thing. 'Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death.' Makes you wonder who's asked for death."

"No one, dear. That's a reference to the American colonist Patrick Henry's speech. It's not actually asking for death." Aziraphale explained as the pair crossed the street towards the storefront. He watched in amusement as Crowley scoffed.

"Why would a British shop quote the Americas? Thought the whole point was pissing on each other."

Aziraphale thought for a moment, eyebrows scrunched together as he thought back to their encounter in the 1790s. Of course at the time he was more focused on Crowley saving his life than their luncheon after the fact, but now the fuzzy memories of crepes and the Americas returned.

"You ought to know that."

"Angel I know nothin I don't need to."

"Why, I thought you were responsible for the American revolution, Crowley."

Crowley scoffed again, shoving his hands in his pockets, "ngk, why would you think that?"

"You said so in 1793!"

"Wot?" Crowley's lips curled as he tried to think back. He didn't remember much of the 18th century, it was a bit of a blur of decapitations, fantastic coattails and wine. Oh the wine was good then, but it was hard to come by. He didn't remember anything about the Americas. "Why would I say that?"

"You said you, you prompted the Mayflower to set sail because you knew it would make the British crown quite upset. Then you informed me that you helped hurl some many large quantities of tea into the ocean, a decision I still vehemently disdain." When Crowley let out a deep chuckle at this, Aziraphale clicked his tongue. He adjusted in his coat, his straight tartan collar reminding him to remain upright and correct. "It has been 300 years, I suppose it's all right now. I should forget the fact you helped ruin quite literal tons of delicious tea."

"Yea no that wasn't me, Angel." Crowley said as he opened the door, letting Aziraphale in before he sauntered next to him.

Aziraphale let his mouth drop in a perfect little 'o' shape as he stared in surprise, "you said you'd done it all! That the head office, down - down there was quite proud of the fact. You earned some fancy title for it."

"Didn't happen."

"You lied to me?"

"I'm a demon, Angel. S'my whole thing."

Aziraphale pursed his lips and sat down at one of the tables that miraculously opened up, "you've never been the bad sort of demon."

"There is no good sort." Crowley sniffed, sitting down and sprawling across his chair. One arm strewn across the back of it, a leg precariously left in the aisle. His dark clothing seemed such a contrast to his personality, in Aziraphale's mind. Aziraphale watched him move his foot back and forth slightly, the light reflecting off his snakeskin boots. Crowley was always moving something, even if it was small. A foot swaying, knee bouncing, finger twitching. Sometimes Aziraphale would notice movement on his cheeks like he was rolling his tongue around for the hell - heck, angels don't swear - of it.

"We come from the same sort, you and I. I can't imagine one fall changes much," Aziraphale said with a warm smile.

Crowley shifted a little in his seat, head faced away from the beaming Angel who looked quite fondly at him. Crowley never knew how to accept compliments or ideas of goodness from Aziraphale. He was under the impression Aziraphale had messed up perceptions of him, and was too frightened to ruin what he knew was incorrect. He was no one good, but he wouldn’t tell the best person he knew that. No use trying to make the good out of the bad. But Aziraphale didn't see it that way, he only saw a beautiful, curious man in beautiful, dark clothing and beautiful, yellow eyes. There was nothing evil about him. But, that was a conversation for a different day.

Today was about the rain, the rain neither knew about until it pattered against the window of a silly American themed coffee shop. Crowley glanced at it with a huff, Aziraphale didn’t seem to pay it much mind.

Nina came to the table beside them, set down a croissant for the woman sitting there then turned to face the two unearthly creatures. When she saw Crowley she pursed her lips and pointed to him, “no, no, no.”

Crowley put his hands up in mock defense, staring at Nina as she refused him. “Wot?”

“No six shots of espresso. No, no. Last time I got trapped up in ‘ere.” Nina was frustrated and had an accusatory tone as though her verified truth was going to be argued.

Aziraphale looked at Crowley with questioning and light amusement in his eyes, and Crowley cringed, “yea s’my bad.”

“You can have anything but espresso. No locking me up tonight.”

“Fair ‘nough,” Crowley grumbled. “Anything with caffeine.”

Nina looked at him with distrust but nodded all the same, “and you?”

“Vanilla please. A vanilla latte with, um, a single cinnamon stick, err, if you could.” Aziraphale smiled politely, sitting upright in his seat. However distrustful she was of Crowley, she seemed remarkably comfortable with ‘Mr Fell.’ Nina nodded and walked away.

“Nina is quite taken aback by you.”

“Grr, I s’might have trapped her in her shop. Wasn’t intentional, just happened.”

“Ah, yes. Well. I suppose one does accidentally trap people inside their work places on a regular basis,” Aziraphale said with a little smile. Crowley grumbled at the tease, looking towards the rain with a harrumph.

Aziraphale watched his gaze and found himself staring more at the demon’s face then the gloomy weather. His red hair was so bright against his skin, and Aziraphale did so love the way it curled so elegantly. “Do you like the rain?”

Crowley’s brows raised at the question and he seemed to turn it over in his mind for a few moments before answering, “yes and no. I like the sound, the sky, the smell. I don’t like the cold.”

“Ah, um yes, the cold can be too much for me.”

From their view, they saw a man and a woman dash through the pouring rain. The man lifted his paper above the pair, trying in vain to stop it from messing up her curls. But the paper fell and they ended up outside the flats, her with a playful smile before she kissed him. The unearthly beings watched this encounter, watched their embrace as the rain plastered their clothing to their bodies and their sweet kisses before darting inside the comfort of the indoors. Crowley snickered as the man pinched the woman’s ass as she climbed the stairs before the door closed.

Somewhere along the way of them watching the sweet couple, Crowley found his eyes drifting towards Aziraphale. He watched the Angel watch them, his soft curls were light and wild. His posture straight yet his eyes seemed to strain as he looked for more and more. Aziraphale always wanted to learn, even if he didn’t realize it. He thirsted for all the knowledge he could, yet never wanted to ask for it. It made him a bastard sometimes, but he was a bastard worth knowing.

“They are very sweet, don’t you think?” Aziraphale commented, tilting his head.

“Mm, s’pose.”

“You don’t think they are sweet? They are very affectionate with one another.”

“No, no. It’s sweet and all. Just don’t fancy being s’all … that,” Crowley furrowed his brows, not quite knowing the words to express it. He didn’t mind their affection, he thinks affection is quite nice. And being in a relationship is no fault either. However, all that their actions implied did not appeal to Crowley. But it was hard to explain that sort of thing, wasn’t it?

Aziraphale thought for a moment, “I, err, I believe I know what you mean. And I quite agree. For myself, that is. However, I adore seeing all sorts of love.”

“It’s in your make up as an Angel.”

Aziraphale straightened, “it is. Love comes in all sorts. I like seeing it, it makes me feel as though there is purpose to the world.”

“Angel…” Crowley meant to say more, though he didn’t quite know what. The words fell off his tongue as soon as they formed. So he just said, “Angel.” And watched his Angel smile with a sort of proud shyness few possess.

“Here you are,” Nina said, setting the latte in front of Aziraphale. In front of Crowley she set a small, pathetic little mug full of black tea. With narrowed eyes she walked away, watching Crowley cringe at the drink.

“I don’t care for tea.”

“You what?” Aziraphale scoffed, blinking a few times as though that could help him process the statement.

“I don’t cares for it.”

“My dear, you live in England.”

Crowley lifted his mug to that statement, “and it’s not for the tea.”

Aziraphale sipped his drink, shaking his head in utter disbelief. He might not drink tea on a regular basis like those in this country, but he certainly could not expect to live in a city like this without at least tolerating it. Why even bother to live here if you despised it so? But he didn’t make another comment, just sipped his latte and enjoyed Crowley’s company.

They talked and sipped their drinks as the rain continued to pour, sliding down the windows in sheets. Crowley tried and failed to contain his smile as Aziraphale wiggled in his seat at each sip. Anything he loved he would wiggle just slightly, and Crowley loved to see what little thing could bring him such joy. Aziraphale placed his mug down, sighing.

“Angel, you got - it’s - well you s’need a napkin,” Crowley got out the words, gesturing to his own upper lip. Unbeknownst to Aziraphale, he was now sporting a rather fetching foam mustache of his own cinnamon, vanilla concoction. As charming as it was, Crowley knew Aziraphale would resent the sticky feeling it would give should it stay on long. And it didn’t look the most intelligent, contrary to Aziraphale’s typical desire in presenting himself.

Aziraphale’s eyes widened, they always widened whenever he felt anything really, and he wiped the mustache off with his napkin. “Is it all gone?”

“Yeaaaa,” Crowley drawled, giving him a half hearted thumbs up.

“Well, I suppose we should depart.”

“S’pose so.”

They made to leave, politely setting their mugs on the rack by the register. Crowley left 100 pounds on the table, telling Aziraphale it was compensation for being locked in though they both knew he was too good a person in a too bad a body. It was still raining heavily, and the pair stood beneath the awning.

“This ‘appened in one of my films,” Crowley said. “Couple got stuck under an awning s’while it rained.”

“What happened next?” Aziraphale asked.

“Aw, well, you know humans. Get ‘em wet and near each other, staring into each others eyes and va-voom!” Crowley used his hands to emphasize his point.

“Va… voom?” Aziraphale said slowly, sounding out the made up phrase as though it were of the most complicated language.

And that was saying something, as Aziraphale considered himself well versed in many languages including a master as the French language. Crowley had argued that last point, though he spoke it in fluent French and Aziraphale hadn’t caught a word of it aside from ‘cheese’ and ‘donkey’. Neither of which sounded like likely phrases for the context.

“Don’t say it like that. Slows it down. Sounds silly. Va-voom!”

Aziraphale quirked a brow, “ah yes, because saying it quicker makes it less silly.”

“Oh shut it. It’s no tickety-boo.” The tips of Crowley’s ears grew pink but he didn’t let it show. He gestured towards the rain, “well, Angel? Should we run into the rain?”

Aziraphale’s eyes lit up in an instant, and he grasped Crowley’s hand with such excitement Crowley wondered if there was a magician nearby.

“Let’s dance!”

“Wot?”

Aziraphale adored dancing, though his abilities were severely limited. He rarely got the chance to just dance and enjoy himself, and now seemed the perfect opportunity. With the perfect partner.

He held his hand out to Crowley, palm up and feet tapping the pavement in excitement. Crowley went to protest, as his dance skills were limited, but he saw the look in Aziraphale’s eyes. Before he knew it he was dragged into the pouring rain, letting it sink into his skin as he was spun by Aziraphale.

Aziraphale let out a little giggle as Crowley came back, hands clutching their partners with slippery fingers. Aziraphale bowed playfully and lowered his voice, “a dance, madame?”

“Oh certainly!” Crowley said in a high pitched voice played along, allowing himself to be swept away. Aziraphale placed a hand on Crowley’s waist and held an arm out, and Crowley expertly followed his lead.

They waltzed across the slick steps of London’s streets, their clothes becoming heavy with rain. Aziraphale’s bow tie sagged along his shirt, streaks of rain permanently damaging his expensive coat but he didn’t care. Crowley’s jacket started to drip from the rain, so thoroughly soaked it was practically a mop, but Crowley let it wipe the floor with him for all it mattered. Aziraphale going to dip Crowley only for him to fall onto the pavement. Despite himself Crowley laughed loudly, waving off Aziraphale’s incessant apologies.

“A dance, madame?” Crowley called, switching places and offering his hand.

Aziraphale blushed, turning a bright pink against his pale clothes but accepted Crowley’s hand gracefully. His white curls clung to his head in little ringlets and his cheeks were pink from the cold, the dance, and the present company. But he danced and danced and danced with Crowley, ignoring the weird looks from passerby’s. They were enjoying the moment of dancing in the rain with their partner, laughing and tripping until they were soaking, panting messes at the bookshops entrance.

Aziraphale miracled some towels so they didn’t ruin the hard wood, and lead Crowley to the bedroom where he provided warm, dry clothing for the both of them.

Crowley pattered into the book shop, wearing a dark, silk robe and pouring himself a glass of red wine. The rain had subsided by now, leaving behind a soft rainbow in the sky. He smiled, sipping his wine. Today was a good day.

#good omens #good omens season 2 #screw you neil Gaiman #what was that ending #fluff #so much fluff #literal overwhelming amounts of fluff #dancing in the rain #no beta we die like men #no beta we die like crowley’s heart in s2 e6 ouch neil gaiman #I love David Tennant #and Michael sheen #season 2 doesn’t exist #slice of life #asexual relationship

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krysta-cross · 8 months

Text

💫Star crossed lovers💫

—incorrect quotes

~with additional links in the mix

I enjoyed this one, way to start the morning with giggles 🤭

I edited some of it too ^^

Thank you for the tag twinnie @darialovesstuff 💜

Krysta: Well, Fujin and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Krysta: That's right... We kissed!

Krysta: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Fujin: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Krysta: Seize the dick.

Fujin: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Krysta: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Fujin: Holy--

Fujin: I fell—

Krysta: From heaven?

Fujin: No, I literally fell—

Krysta: In love with me the moment you saw me?

Fujin: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Krysta: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Krysta: Look, last night was a mistake.

Fujin: A sexy mistake.

Krysta: No, just a regular mistake.

Fujin: As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Krysta: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Krysta: Fujin, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Fujin, naked in Krysta's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Krysta, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

Fujin, sweating: Krysta, there’s something I need to ask you-

Krysta: Finally! You’re proposing!

Fujin: How’d you know?

Krysta: Fujin, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Krysta: I even picked it up once.

Krysta: I like your new pants!

Fujin: Thanks, they were 50 off!

Krysta: I’d like them better if they were 100 off. *winks*

Fujin: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Krysta: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Fujin: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Krysta.

*Krysta and Fujin are in Paris.*

Krysta: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?

Fujin: But...

Krysta: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...

Fujin: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?

Krysta: Yeah.

Fujin: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.

Krysta: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.

Fujin: Okay, alright.

Krysta: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Fujin: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Krysta: Can you cut me some slack, Fujin? I’m sort of in love.

Fujin: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.

Krysta: I’m in love with you.

Fujin: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

Fujin: I’m in love with you.

Krysta: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Fujin: I know.

Krysta: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Fujin: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Krysta: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Fujin: You have to apologize to Raiden, Krysta.

Krysta: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

Krysta: Fujin and I are no longer friends.

Fujin: KRYSTA THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

Fujin: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Krysta: Nope, there's 26.

Fujin: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Krysta: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Fujin: You'll get the D later ;)

Fujin: You look good in that hoodie.

Krysta: You know where else I'd look good?

Fujin, zero hesitation: My bed.

Krysta, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

Krysta: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.

Fujin: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?

Krysta, already taking off their clothes: God, Fujin, you’re so fucking stupid.

Krysta: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Fujin: Marry me.

Krysta: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—

Fujin: Hi.

Krysta: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

Krysta: Hey, about that love letter you sent me-

Fujin: *blushes* What are your thoughts?

Krysta: The fourth sentence-

Fujin: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I-

Krysta: It’s “you’re” not “your”.

Fujin: Krysta, you love me, right?

Krysta: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

Fujin: I have feelings for you.

Krysta: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Fujin: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

Krysta: You always act stupid.

Krysta:

Krysta: Wait...

*Krysta is crying after a breakup*

Fujin: There there, Krysta.

Krysta, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room?

Fujin: Great question—

*At a speed dating event*

Krysta: Oh wow, people are really shallow.

Fujin: Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate?

Krysta: *Checks their pulse* Sorry, not yet.

Fujin: Good, I'm not fucking a ghost again.

Links:

Travis: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

Krysta: What- how?

Travis: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

Rain: Pros and cons of dating me.

Krysta: Pros first.

Rain: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Krysta: *nods* and cons?

Rain: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Kuai liang: My hands are cold.

Krysta: Here, let me hold them.

Kuai liang: My lips are cold too.

Krysta: *covers Kuai liang’s mouth with their hand*

Krysta: What are you in the mood for?

Rain: World domination.

Krysta: That's a bit ambitious.

Rain: You are my world.

Krysta: Aww...

Rain:

Krysta:

Krysta: OH.

Krysta: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Tomas: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

Krysta: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Travis: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Krysta: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Hotaru: *ear blush* thinks “she wants to share it with me”

Krysta: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

Tomas: Wow, Krysta, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Krysta: We literally slept together yesterday.

Tomas: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Krysta: Know why I called you in here?

Travis: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

Krysta: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

Krysta: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.

Tomas: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.

Krysta: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Hanzo: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Krysta: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Hanzo: Is it working?

Krysta: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.

Kung lao: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to train.

Krysta: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.

Tags: @thevoidwriting @mortal-kombat-shitposts @huepazu take a look at these 🤭

Here’s the generator link for those who wants to try it ^^

#star crossed lovers #star crossed lovers incorrect quotes #fujinxkrysta #krysta’s ships #incorrect quote generator

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