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theshadowrealmitself · 11 months

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Okay my favorite batshit au for Spiderman that’s incredibly self indulgent to me is:

Peter starts out as a Spider mutant, of course no one really knows this because he’s a very quiet and cautious kid and the stuff he has isn’t that noticeable to other people

On top of that, due to the age gap between his dad and his uncle, Ben and May already old when they take in young Peter (closer to comic canon), which comes with the side effects of being raised by older legal guardians

Side effects like because of their age they’re so tired when they come home from work that they can’t really give Peter the attention and energy that he needs and they want to give him, and because they’re always so tired and old and stuff, Peter, who’s already an obedient kid, doesn’t want to make their lives harder and their health worse, hides away anything that can upset them

(This is very important because it explains how Peter gets away with so much as a kid, there’s gonna be a lot of well meaning neglect in this au, and is also the very beginning of that deep anger taking seed inside of him, he feels can’t show emotion about his parents abandoning him, can’t make a fuss about Flash bullying him because the school won’t help and it’ll only stress out his aunt and uncle, he just feels like he can’t show anything and has no outlet for it all)

So Peter, even before going to live with his aunt and uncle didn’t get much attention because his parents were focused on their research and trying not to get killed, and then after moving in with them, feels like he has to make his presence as little as possible

He becomes a very, very independent little kid, even though May and Ben keep trying to let him know he can just be a kid, it’s okay, but at some point one of them has a health scare, there’s the hospital bill from it and the possible chance of future medical bills, so both adults start working more and more hours to afford all that

Which leaves poor Peter alone most of the time, he doesn’t want to make a fuss so he just accepts, and because the adults are too busy to really sit down and coordinate their time together, they don’t even realize how much they’ve left him on his own, thinking that the other adult was helping him

Peter gets himself up for school, washes the laundry, cleans what he cans, and cooks himself breakfast and maybe makes some for Ben or May if they haven’t left yet, packs his own lunch, then he’s responsible for getting himself on the bus to school (where he gets bullied all day), and then getting back to school, then because of the hours they’re working, he usually comes back to an empty house and makes everyone dinner, eats his, then puts himself to bed early after doing homework alone

At this point, Peter is now 10 years old, he’s formed a new friendship with his next door neighbor, MJ, who’s being purposely neglected by her shitty angry drunk dad, and another boy at school, Harry, who’s being emotionally neglected by his dad

The three of them start hanging out at Oscorp and getting to see the new stuff that the company is developing before it’s put out, one of those things is radioactive spiders, and one of the spiders with specific markings becomes Peter’s favorite

After some time, Norman makes a deal with the army to sell one of the spiders to them because of their own research with radioactive bio specimens, unfortunately, the spider he sells is Peter’s favorite one

For the first time in his life, Peter decides to try and be vocal about something he wants, but he’s too scared to interrupt Norman’s conversation, too used to being quiet, so he follows Norman along, waiting for a break in the conversation to ask him to sell a different spider, just following aaaallll the way to the army base, just being so quiet that no one notices him

Norman makes the handoff and Peter ends up following the spider, eventually getting his hands on it and accidentally releasing it from its container where it then bites Peter

Now remember, Peter was already a mutant, these spider mutant powers already included super strength, climbing on walls, and being able to produce webs, and also because being Spidery was a core part of his being, he has also has a ton of spider behaviors and instincts that he has to constantly fight to appear normal in public so no one calls his relatives and stress them out

After the bite, all of the hair on his body, not just the hair on his head, but the body hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, just everywhere, becomes bright red and blue patterned, his eyesight becomes supernaturally incredible, but when he uses his eyes like that, they become entirely black, I’m talking pupil, iris, and the whites become a dark inky black, and when he’s not using it, his eyes look normal, but his eyesight is back to being crap, he also now has fangs that produce a high intensity venom, and his super strength becomes so much stronger than it was before

These effects start slowly taking over as Peter starts wandering around with his spider, that he’s already forgiven for biting him because of course the poor thing is scared, trying to find an exit, but instead he stumbles upon the other radioactive specimen in the army’s care: the Hulk

Peter, being the sweet kid he is, lets the Hulk out and the Hulk remembers that and becomes a lifetime friend of “bug-man’s” from that, and the two escape the army base with the cameras capturing footage of a blue and red spidery creature helping the Hulk, starting Norman Osborn’s lifetime hatred for Spiderman (no one notices Peter’s excursion which takes a couple of days getting back home because quiet kid, kinda being neglected, teachers didn’t even mark him absent because they didn’t notice he hadn’t actually showed up, etc)

Peter is now visibly a mutant and so his friend and neighbor MJ notices immediately when he comes back and helps him out immediately even though she likes his new look, but it gives her a chance to try out makeup looks and hair dyes on someone else, and that’s what starts them becoming best friends, MJ starts hanging out more at his house to get away from her home life, Peter isn’t so alone anymore, it works out great for the two kids and starts Peter’s huge crush on her since this is the first time he’s actually been close and open with another person

(Also cause of the neglect, man it feels awful saying May and Ben neglected him in this au but there’s no other way to put it, Peter doesn’t ever return to the doctors and get checkups, and no one investigates because fuck it they lost Peter’s file or something)

Peter and Harry don’t have that moment where they suddenly intensely bond over something, but over the next four years, the three of them slowly become inseparable, to the point that many times MJ and Peter forget that they haven’t shared their big secret with Harry

(Although Peter hasn’t become a vigilante yet, him and MJ still go off and have adventures during this time, like helping the Hulk or meeting up with the x-men, this ends up being another thing that helps him hide his identity as cameras keep picking up grainy images of him without the stuff he uses to hide his looks at school and of course no one’s gonna assume a kid is out doing these things, so Spiderman, when he makes his debut, has to be much older than the Parker kid is what everyone thinks)

So instead of the spider bite being what causes his fight with Uncle Ben leading to him running out and consequently his uncle dying, it’s Harry finding out that MJ and Peter had this secret they hadn’t been sharing with him, and Peter’s resentment at not being able to go to his relatives for advice because how would he even explain any of that to them?? He doesn’t even know how they feel about mutants much less a mutant who’s now been made radioactive!! That causes his anger issues acting up and then the origin story with Uncle Ben except now his death includes him apologizing to Peter for not being there more often and knowing that he’s a mutant (but not the other stuff) and letting him know that he’s okay with it and he’s sorry he made Peter feel like he couldn’t share that with him

This is depressing for everyone, because even though him and Aunt May dropped the ball a lot (in this specific au), he was still a great relative when he was able to be there for him, he was also a great adult figure to MJ and Harry

So after that, all 3 of them decide to get into the vigilante business, with Peter being the face of it since he’s the only one that could actually handle fights and stuff (but with Harry’s money and Peter’s smarts they do end up making equipment for Harry and MJ), just these 3 little traumatized, neglected 14 year olds forming a vigilante group together

They find an Oscorp warehouse that Norman forgot about, put it in Harry’s name, and completely reinvented it to be their base, and over time it becomes less lonely, at first it’s just the Hulk hiding out there occasionally, maybe some x-men they befriended, but once they turn 18 and Spiderman becomes less of a cryptid and starts actively putting himself out there (because Harry and MJ couldn’t stand the idea of losing him so they made him promise to stay out of the limelight) their group starts really taking off

(Getting people like Gwen Stacy, Daredevil, Nova, Iron Fist, White Tiger, Power Man, Wolverine, Venom, Squirrel Girl, etc)

While staying completely hidden from SHIELD the entire time, Nick Fury doesn’t find out for ages that all these other heroes were secretly connected to Spiderman and had a base together this whole time

And eventually of course Miles joins, with his origin story being that he found Spiderman on the brink of death, saved him, accidentally got pierced by one of his venomous fangs, which acted the same way a bite from a radioactive spider would affect him, which is not something any of them had known, apparently a full on bite would kill a person, but a tiny amount of venom makes them radioactive, so that’s something to worry about now

Miles’ uncle eventually joins their little superhero gang sometime after that because it’s my self indulgent au and I want that kid to be happy with his family

Also after Uncle Ben’s death, Aunt May makes a concentrated effort to actually full on be there for Peter and all his friends, it doesn’t magically make his childhood better, but it’s healing

And a good portion about this is: Peter’s identity being so hard to find because how he shows himself in his civilian life isn’t what he actually looks like, so when his mask gets ripped off there’s not actually much to worry about, doesn’t mean he’s not still doing The Most™️ to hide his identity to protect not only Aunt May now but also his group

And also I wanted him to be as strong as possible, like could fight Superman strong, as well as have all these abilities that would make you think he’d be a part of the avengers fighting aliens and stuff and he’s just like “I really gotta dedicate all my attention to stopping muggers and bank robbers” because that’s so him

Also I think he’d look incredibly pretty with the red and blue coloring as well as the completely black eyes, and because it’s funny to me, while the Hulk is a part of them, Bruce Banner has no memory of this in the slightest, and Johnny Storm is pissed when he finds out Spidey has a hero team with a base that he didn’t invite him to

The neglect and stuff also really ties into not joining SHIELD, because Peter is still the unofficial leader of the group and he's not used to depending on others, but also he's worried about SHIELD trying to force him to become a big named hero when he does just want to stop robbers, and he's terrified of SHIELD knowing his and his friends' identities and what danger that could lead to for them

There’s probably a ton I forgot to put down but this post is already so long 😭 lemme know if anyone has any questions!! would love to answer any

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c-t-r-l14 · 4 months

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A RETROSPECTIVE, A REFLECTION, AND YES, ANOTHER DAMN ALEX RANT.

What I find the most amusing is the fact that Saku likes my rants about Alex.

At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if ya’ll know me as, “That One Girl Who Despises Alex”, because I write about how mad he makes me, and have MULTIPLE RANTS about how much I dislike him and his gaslighting, excuse-making, manipulative, no-backbone having, crybaby bitch ass.

Like—I be jumping Alex, reading his ass for filth, and be downright destroying him and Saku reads it and is like “Lmao, good stuff”, and LIKES THE DAMN RANTS.

It’s really crazy because at first, I was really scared about posting my first ever rant about him, because before people saw just how immature Alex was being in the breakup audio, a lot of people were jumping listener in the comments and talking about how it was their fault that this happened in the first place. Now, listener is definitely NOT a saint, at all. Even though I sympathize with them, what they did was wrong—point BLANK. But the way their relationship ended wasn’t entirely their fault.

I remember reading the comments and there were some people who said, “Ugh, if listener just didn’t say anything at all, this would’ve never happened”, but that shit confuses me so much?? I do agree that they should’ve been more careful about their approach when it comes to confrontation, but if THIS is the way Alex reacts when Listener looses their cool and does something in the heat of the moment, who is to say that it wouldn’t happen at all? He was so damn quick to end a four year relationship over a mistake. He never put in any work to see why listener acted out that day. He never once tried to talk to them, he acknowledged the fact that they don’t usually act like this, made up stupidly flimsy excuses on why the relationship would supposedly would not work, said some out of pocket shit about them not being the right partner for a long distance relationship, AND THEN PROCEEDED TO GASLIGHT THEM into thinking that THEY were the crazy one for reacting to what he just said, tried to manipulate them into thinking that the reason why their relationship ended was all their fault, and tried to act like HE was the mature one by making the decision to end it in the first place—-

And you’re telling me you saw ALL OF THIS UNFOLD, and your first thought was, “Oh yeah, all of this is definitely listener’s fault. They had it coming, lmao. Good luck to Alex in the States.”

OH H E L L NO.

If he had been so quick to end his relationship of F O U R Y E A R S in a heartbeat over something he K N E W to be an out of character mistake, then what on God’s green Earth would make ya’ll think that he’d stick around had listener stayed silent???? Listener will make mistakes, and there will come a time when their emotions will get the best of them (as it does with all of us), and you guys really believe that Alex’s fickle, emotional whiplash having, “this would be good for us, we both wouldn’t be tied down anymore 🥺” headass would still stay then???

Because, HE W O U L D N ‘ T.

He saw the opportunity to leave, and he took it. He already had his mind made from the jump when he told his mother and father, his friends, his acquaintances, his ancestors—and the ENTIRE W O R L D that he was taking that NYC job and his partner was last to know. Listener—-his own goddamn partner—-was the only person he needed to get rid of. They were his “burden” to bear, and he wanted to rid himself of it. And he didn’t want to seem like the bad guy, so he made excuses to make the break up easier on himself, pushed the blame away from him, and cried like the little baby back bitch he is in order to make it seem like this was such a hard decision to come to. He disregarded listener’s feelings, disregarded them as a whole, disrespected them, and left them with (probably) more trauma then what they started with.

I am sick and tired of seeing people blame the listener for everything that happened. They did not deserve the way they were broken up with at all. Alex isn’t a victim. He never was—and he stopped being the “mature one” (if you can even call it that) the moment those dumbass excuses came out of his slimy mouth.

For the people who were saying, “Alex deserves better than listener! I hope he finds a new partner.” Ya’ll need to realize that if this is how he acts when listener makes a mistake, he will do the absolute same thing with his future partners. He will give up the entire relationship and make an exit plan as soon as they do something even a little bit out of character. People who fold that easily and refuse to put effort in their relationship will NEVER KEEP IT. He will end up being single, and I know he’s the type of person who will never consider himself as a factor as to why his relationships all end in faliure because he has such a victim complex.

This man deserves absolutley nothing, ya’ll! NOTHING!

And I hope that one day, he realizes what he did was wrong, and apologizes to them. I will literally not be able to die peacefully if this doesn’t happen.

The craziest thing is that back in the olden days (four months ago), I would’ve been so scared to publish this whole rant, ya’ll. 😭 My dislike for Alex has been a hyper-fixation that held me in a massive chokehold—and I was honestly scared I was going to get hated on for not liking him (as well as my reasons for disliking him in the first place). But in the most strange turn of events, a lot of people share the same disdain I have for him too, and the comments on that break-up audio is now more critical toward Alex than it is toward listener, and these were both really big shocks to me. I’m really happy that a lot of people enjoy my rants, and even more happier (and surprised) to see Saku HIMSELF like my rant posts too.

Like literally ya’ll, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The love ya’ll leave for these rants are the reasons why I feel more and more confident to make them in the first place, and I appreciate it all very much.

So, here’s to next year, and to all the rants I’ll make in the future! And I hope we’ll all have a great year!

(Except for you, Alex. I hope your credit card declines when you try to pay for that $2.90 train fare and nobody opens the emergency door for you).

#sakuverse #zsakuva #alex zsakuva #I love ya’ll fr #i’m so pissed off ya’ll don’t even know the half of it #he better apologize #he makes me so pissed off #i really do hope his credit card declines and he has massive train delays #Ya’ll should really know the drill by now #If you follow me you should know what you’ve signed up for c’mon now #anyway #hope ya’ll have a good year #except for Alex I hope when there’s cops there when he tries to jump the turnstyle in the train station

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