#I'm always the evil one

[im2tired4usernames]

God I love how easy it is to make enemies of my family

#life suuuuuuuucks I'm in a state of constantly having to earn live and atonement for my sins #somedayni wont deal with it wether it be independent or I'm dead some how I'll be free #just meh #just MEEEEEH #I'm always the evil one #always the one in the wrong and the one that needs to give #I'll never be enough I'll never give enough i can't earn they're love #its exhausting they're always mad at me I'm always in the wrong #and i am def in the wrong this time but I've apologized also they have a history of skin this so assuming they did it isn't a big stretch #when it's been repeated over n over n over since i was like 7 #but oh well #I'll survive #there's line to be lived #and people who do loveme #my four youngest siblings have yet to learn to hate me yet they still love n need me my wife loves me unconditionally it feels like i have #the three muskeqeers lol i love these people they love me it's ok

[lunarharp]

shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc

#witch hat tag #orufrey #the first image is qifrey dressed as that guy. i'm glad she has an inexplicable attachment to some dorky pokemon man like i do #someone was like 'wouldn't it make more sense for deanreldea to be the champion' .... well no. not in my world . #it maps onto magic skill. champions aren't like the Rulers of the land they're just the most skilled at this thing #oru as a burnt out champion who's gently encouraging a kid like coco to reach him one day means a lot to me. i like pokemon narratives #agott went shiny hunting for the same thing coco had but cooler - just to impress her. she really is a pokemon rival type girl #pushing myself to the limit to prove my worth to you - to get to the summit first so i'm waiting for you.. #and then realising it wasn't just to be strong - i realised i started wanting to see your smile. i wanted you to have fun. #i think coco would defeat agott at the end of victory road and then defeat oru & i'll probably draw one last thing abt that at least.. #the image is very cinematic..the dialogue and music in my mind..I WANT TO FACE ORU!!!!!!!!!! #the super cool insanely powerful awesome champion is the spouse of my professor and he gave me advice at the beginning...no way.... #btw the elite four would be the sages which is perfect (and maybe easthies as the first guy?) evil Team Brimhats #coustas as their renegade gladion-type figure. the gym leaders would be like sun/moon and s/v combined #travelling around facing the best students from different classes - so jujy and eunie etc. #i've barely thought about 'teams' or anything bc i care amore about the narrative side of things always lol #but idk. tetia with a swirlix - eunie would be ghost type boy - riche with small things but also a ceruledge or a steelix something massiv #and brushbug would have a final form which is really long like an eastern dragon- fluffy and with wings like a fairy. It's beautiful to me #well anyway *tries to move on to the rest of life now the brief obsession has passed* #obviously oru would be fire-type tho and qifrey would be water-type and they set off together and traded their starters etc.....it goes on

[automatonknight]

here's the prick i was talking about^ i have so many thoughts and notes about him but they're mostly incomprehensible so when i organize maybe them i'll post them who knows

#art #oc #id in alt #um ummm #idk. if you have any questions as always feel free to ask #ANYWAYS. geez making him has been so fun i love this asshole so much i'm going to put him through the horrors #salute to you Kordian if you see this if you hadn't shown me stalker i probably wouldn't be running in circles about patches now #more notes. i actually have no idea how magic works in-universe i just thought it would be cool. he's not good at using it he sucks. he's #shocked himself so many times probably. will that stop him? no #he practiced fencing for a few years so he actually like. knows how the fight flows or whatever. i think he definitely picks out targets wh #don't get their bearings quite as well and dances around them and shit like that he just likes to be mean i guess #idk idk. also he joins the lovelies at one point. that's like. semi-canon. it's sorta like with triumphant and normal walenty to me. like #they both exist but the. so to speak. evil one kind of doesn't in a way if you get me. i mostly thought it would be a fun thing to think #about. and also patches would do that and then he'd freak out like what the fuck am i doing and leave #another random thing about his pronouns. well i mostly use he/him for him. that 'any' is more in a way that if you referred to patches as #she or they or it or anything else he wouldn't care #but he usually doesn't mention it and stuff

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some fantasy traveler inventory details (like what they would carry in their bags), based on two of the recent costumes I did.. love finding random little scraps and items and putting them together lol

#it's obvious who's is who's since they match their outfits HOWEVER.. consider if they were switched lol #evil villain looking man carrying around pressed flowers in a cutesy lacy pouch #fantasy costume #what's in my bag #actualyl that would have been funny to make a video. I should make a video #I'm sure someone else has already done this #but like.. lifestyle vlogger type content however I'm dressed in fully costume as some weird elf or something #pulling things out of my bag and showing them to the camera and talking about how they're useful for whatever #but it's all fantasy scenarios and talking like it's very common #'and of course. i know it's a bit cliche #EVERY traveler has one of these. but you know. theyre just useful! thats why everyone has one!' *pulls out a completely unrecognizable item #thats like some weird fantasy world prop and doesn't even explain it because In-world it's normal and wouldnt need to be talked about* #'room tour' video and it's just like 'yeah I sleep on this mat under a bunch of trees uh.. over here by these rocks. at least right now. I #kind of wander around a bit. so' #Like a clothing haul but it's a potions shop haul or something and they ramble about some obscure drama in the potions community and how the #y hard to barter and steal and entire flock of sheep or something just to get one of them. etc. etc. #I could do ones for different characters too like. multiple people from different walks of life showing what they carry around with them. #just like this but more interview sort of vlog format instead of photos #This is where not having much money and not having my own house with land becomes an issue though #I think it would take you out of the illusion if the background was always the same. I can make small sets because there's one blank wall in #a room that it's easy to move all the stuff away from in front of and clear a spot and like hang up fabrics or whatever but still.. hmms #So one of those 'fun idea but dubious about handling the execution' things. also One Of Those Things where without looking it up you're 100% #sure it's already been done and you don't want to look weird since it's vaguely niche. Like if 100 people have done something it's fine but #if only like 3 other people have then you look weird maybe ghhjbj.. or only one other person gods forbid. looks even weirder potentially #Or do people not care about ''copying'' anymore?? idk. I'm not updated with the internet's changing culture. I just have a fear of accidenta #lly doing something like that and then people getting mad even though it's really just that I competely had no idea it had been done because #again.. I live under a rock and am unaware of everything lol. ANYWAY. also would require my face being on video which I don't like. Though I #would be in costume so that helps. I think to be fully comfortable I'd need light modifications to make my face look different. which isn't #hard but is more effort when it has to be translatable in multiple angles. ANYWAY. ghjbhj... Now I think it would be funny actually. maybe #one day. I haven't made any videos (aside from on the gameplay/sims channel) in a long long time actually. hmm'st

[ihateornithologists]

#elisabeth das musical #and things that happened to me irl xD #i finally did thissss #it's so funny to do actually and it almost works like sort of therapy so why not #like wow i can finally talk about this and even draw related things without wanting to throw up immediately #for more context (yep again) i had severe depression years ago and at some point my brain was so fucked up by illness that #i started seeing [one of those guys i'm always talking about] literally as an embodiment of everything bad in my life #well HE WAS #but like i so strongly identified him with my depression that sometimes even doubted if he was a real person at all lmao #(YOU SEE WHY I'M DRAWING THIS) #he somehow managed to follow me everywhere which made things even more creepy. #and i kept coming back to him myself because i had no one else etc #so funny actually that he was literally JUST SOME GUY like not even interesting or anything #all this shit was just awful and gross that's all. #but when i realized i can make it look COOL by drawing stuff i felt so powerful ahsdijwhnu8 #like YES i texted him recently and he's just. boring as fuck. #so dumb to feel possessed by some evil entity for years and the said evil entity is just a random dude #SORRY my traumadumping is cringe af but thats the price you have to pay to see my drawings xDddd

[canisalbus]

Vasco and Machete are absolutely adorable, your style is so lovely and you draw the softest beds I’ve ever seen in any art ever

.

#thank you! #softest beds is a whole new compliment that's so sweet #let me go off on a weird and personal tangent for a minute #I've always found the concept of sleeping very touching somehow #it's this mandatory resting period literally everyone has to plan their life around no one has the power to avoid sleeping #if you neglect it your mind and body start to break down very quickly #sleep is such a neutral state of being no one is particularly sad or happy or evil or good while they're asleep they're just logged off #sleeping feels nice it's rejuvenating it's one of the few universal pleasures every single person has an access to #and I find it terribly cute how people have different little bedtime rituals #socks on socks off various pillow and blanket arrangements certain sounds that make them sleepy etc #and sleeping next to someone is such an act of trust #it's extremely intimate as is sex doesn't necessarily have to factor into it #getting comfortable and going unconscious with someone at the same place at the same time that just touches my heart #especially if you're invited into their bed which is a very private space a person's own little nest where the world can't reach them #even if you fall asleep in public transport there's this vulnerability to it and for the most part people respect the sanctity of sleep #and tend to leave sleeping people alone at least in my limited experience #I like drawing my characters sleeping because it feels like I'm doing them a favor granting them a little respite #anonymous #answered

[notquitedeadpod]

coming in 10 days...

#brace thine selves #this one is... #yeah you'll see #the opening is funny #but after that idk #yeah #it's #a lot #the show is always a lot #but this one is especially a lot... #i'm being so evil about this xoxoxox #not quite dead #nqd #vampires #audio drama #not quite dead pod #vampire podcast #gay vampires

[mayasaura]

When it comes to John, I have zero interest in condemning him. First of all, it's boring. You mean destroying the world and lying to your friends about it is bad? Shocking. Groundbreaking character work.

Second of all, I'm just not all that comfortable with condemnation in general, not when it comes to whole-ass people. Actions, for sure. I am ready to wholeheartedly condemn pretty much every decision this man has ever made, but I'm only comfortable doing that with a side of compassion for the man himself. Tamsyn said once in an interview that some of the discussion she's seen about Harrow is unintentionally very cruel to people with mental illnesses, and I feel similarly seeing a lot of the discussion around John. If I'm going to try to figure out where he's coming from, why he did the things he did, and what he thought he was accomplishing by doing them, I'm not at all interested in coming at those questions with contempt or disgust.

To me, the main question when it comes to John is: What do you do when you feel that you're unforgivable? That you've fucked up so completely no one will ever love you again, unless you lie and trick them into it? How do you deal with shame? And while part of the answer is definitely "Holy shit, not like that," what I'm most interested in is: what should he have done instead? At what points in his narrative could he have changed his course? And at what point, if ever, did he become right about it being impossible for him to dial it back and turn around?

#I'm not sure I ENTIRELY grock where the series is going with this #because the philosophical framework centering forgiveness is a little strange to me #but I can roll with it #it seems like the same assumption that people are generally by nature neutral to good and always capable of change #just with an external actor providing an extra step #the locked tomb #ntn spoilers #john gaius #emperor john gaius #anyway maybe it's a strange distinction to make but I'm absolutely down with talking about how incredibly fucked up he is #how outright evil most the shit he does is #and how it's poisoned the cultures of the Nine Houses from the top down #but when it comes to like.... reading him as if he's incapable of human feeling that kinda skeeves me out #and when it comes to how he fails to live up to every single one of his ideals #and destroys every relationship that's ever meant anything to him #I can only kind of pity him y'know #sooo long story short I promise to never claim that being unable to relate to other people or not feeling empathy makes you evil #pinky swear

[bubblegumr1ck]

coloured version with an actual background coming when i feel like getting around to it

#rick and morty #morty smith #mortycest #evil morty #prime morty/evil morty #prime morty x evil morty #art #my art #bubblegumr1ck-art #i finished this last night but couldn't post it because my internet died #but in the meantime someone rb'd me complaining about the lack of mortycest LOL #shoutout to that person if you see this #also yea soz for killing this blog #i have been keeping up with s7 but i'm always at least a day behind so i've just been reblogging stuff to my main #i might make a text post after the final episode though (its in my drafts but i'd rather it not become outdated within one episode) #also if i make more art i'll post it here lol #ok bye

[hajihiko]

I interpret Kaz's relationship with his dad a little differently from that one convo. He says something like 'he knew better than anyone that we didn't have the money' and I took that as his dad wanted him to go and have fun like a normal kid and not worry about the money. Of course, I don't justify physical discipline and it is abuse, even if the parent is well intentioned. I think that Kaz does love his dad and they're relationship might be more complicated. But you know that's just one of the many things he needs to work out in therapy.

(Again this is just my interpretation and I'm not saying yours is wrong. I do love the art.)

Just gonna use this as a little jumping point to talk about this bc why not, warnings for obviously sensitive topics

I dont think you're wrong, I actually probably agree, but one thing;

It's not uncommon for public perception to weigh more than actual actions or intent. In the example given, I see it like so; yeah, Souda sr. wanted his son to go on a field trip that they couldn't really afford. Yeah, Kaz wanted to help the household by not going on the trip and saving the money. Both have good intent here. It's not about that, though, because in Souda sr.'s eyes, refusing to go on the trip is like admitting that they're poor, which is like saying the father can't provide for his family, which is like public humiliation- in his eyes. In a fit of rage (and insecurity, if it's something that's already weighing on his mind, as these things often go) the assumption isnt that his son was trying to help, just that he did something that makes the father look bad. Which is a bigger trigger than most things, often, for patriarchal authority figures.

And it not an excuse for physical harm, no, nothing is. Probably, Souda sr. knows that, and didn't mean to snap- doesnt think he committed an act of child abuse- but he's been under a lot of stress, and his son was talking back, and, well.

I think they do usually get along alright, and Souda sr. does his best to provide for himself and his son and keep their relationship good, and Kazuichi is genuinely grateful for everything his dad's done for him? But in the end, it's another person Kazuichi trusted teaching him the lesson that people will let him down and hurt him, in some way at some point. If your parent whom you trust has made you genuinely afraid of them, it's hard to come back from it, and someone as anxious and emotionally sensitive as Kazuichi will hold onto that forever, probably, even as he might internalized some of it as his own fault.

It's a lot more complicated than just "bad father, sad son" (but again, not excusable, you don't hit your kids period). It's father and son who love each other and might be the only family they both have, but they clash horribly on occasion, make up (or don't talk about it at all), things die down, stay good for a while, then there's another clash- so it goes, even if the bad times are only occasional. The biggest Thing about these kind of relationships, to me, is that it's so easy to fall into a routine and let things stagnate, and before you know it, it's just How Things Are and it's easier to just deal than start rocking the boat.

#Not an art #Talky talky #Dysfunctional relationships and toxic family is always something I have Thoughts on #cw child abuse #This is also just me blabbing with little evidence so dont come for my throat ok I'm just pondering #I could talk about the kuzuryu family too I think there's a lot more context stuff there #But that's a diff post #I also hc that Kaz started thinking about the death machines before Junko #Not in a serious manner but as a malcontent kid who felt bitter and insecure and wanted to let it out somehow #Who hasnt fantasised about pushing someone down the stairs or sth right? That's where it started for him #Blah blah the 'anyone is capable of evil' theme #But also the 'that entire class was full of kids at risk and no one noticed or helped them and that sure didnt stop them from seeking- #-release and control and company from bad people who in turn affected them'

[mistergandalf]

ULTIMATE TOLKIEN BLORBO ROUND FIVE: SECOND CHANCE BRACKET

ÉOWYN vs. MERIADOC "MERRY" BRANDYBUCK

See the ULTIMATE TOLKIEN BLORBO MASTERPOST for details and follow #ultimate tolkien blorbo to cast your vote for the blorbiest blorbo of all!

#ultimate tolkien blorbo #lotr #lord of the rings #tolkien #eowyn #merry brandybuck #meriadoc brandybuck #I chose these two pictures SPECIFICALLY to make it harder for you to decide #because I am evil and I love causing problems #everyone always talks about how eowyn killed the witch-king because she's a woman #but no one ever talks about the fact that merry was able to harm him because he's a HOBBIT #TEAMWORK #they did it together!!! I love them!!! #also forever sad we missed out on merry's friendship with beregond that was in the books #don't mind me I'm just thinking about beregond now #anyway have fun voting

[miraculouslumination]

"Trans men/transmascs aren't hated for being men/masculine we're/they're only hated for being trans"

Tell that to literally any trans man, or even transmasc individual, who has lost numerous friends during their transition because they became "too much of a man/too masculine".

Tell that to any trans man or transmasc who has been asked and berrated with questions and comments such as "why would you EVER want/choose to be a man" "how could you do this to us?" "Well as long as you don't act like/become too much of a man." "You're not going on T, though, are you?" and plenty more

Tell that to any trans man or transmasc who has been pushed out of entire support groups and communities, even if they have been there for YEARS, because they're no longer a woman

Tell that to any trans man or transmasc who have been labeled as a traitor to women and woman/sisterhood for being a man/masculine

Tell that to the trans men and transmascs who have been deemed dangerous and thus shunned, threatened, or even assaulted all because they're men now "and they should expect and accept it"

To the trans men and transmascs who have been assaulted in ways to try and "fix us" and turn us "back into women/lesbians"

Tell that to the trans men and transmascs who are labeled as the killers of parents sweet precious cis daughters or stealer of irreplaceable invaluavle lesbians or a poor unfortunate victim of being groomed by the Big Scary Trans Genders

Tell that to the trans men and transmascs who have been denied crucial, sometimes life-saving and/or life-altering health and medical care all because their gender marker has been changed to an M.

Tell that to the trans men who get told we're the ones responsible misogyny being systematic - that we just want to have it "easier" and surely can no longer be feminists because we "chose being an evil, oppressive (trans) man over being a soft, holy (cis) woman"

Tell them that all of the losses of their social connections and supports, the grimaces and sneers people have as their transition goes "too far". Tell that to the trans men and transmascs who have been deemed as predatory, potentially dangerous, in need of "saving", and so much more. Tell it to the trans men and transmascs who go through constant silencing, scrutiny, erasure and gatekeeping. Tell them that all of the pain, grief, loneliness, isolation, harassment, abuse and MORE that they have experienced ISN'T because they're a man or masculine, but because they're "just" trans. Even when, during all of these horrific moments in their life, the people inflicting this violence against them held nothing but contempt for them choosing to be a man. For trying to parade around as a man, when clearly they're just some poor delusional cis woman.

Tell them, because clearly you know everything and exactly how all of this works and how everyone's lived experiences have gone. Because you apparently know everything more than anyone else.

#Jean rambles #Transphobia #Lateral aggression #I'm actually getting so sick of seeing this argument against it #Like y'all really need to get better at thinking #If you are a marginalized person and ALSO a man then yes!! #Part of your struggles WILL be because you are a man/masculine! #Because of shit like ''all men are secretly evil violent bloodthirsty killers'' that has rotted some of y'alls brains #That hurts people - not just cis men or even trans men #It hurts PEOPLE to assume an entire gender and/or sex is prone or hardwired to do something #Like goddamn ''all black (cis) men are dangerous and are going to hurt our poor helpless white (cis) women'' #Is one of the biggest examples with PLENTY of historical proof behind it #This line of thinking always ends up right in the lap of fascism and white supremacy and overall bigotry #And y'all need to cut it out #tw abuse #tw assault #Long post #Kind of #Transandrophobia

[icewindandboringhorror]

... why he sit like this

#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little #rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo #cats #It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually #getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol #Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime #I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad. #Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering #all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty #e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time #that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense #that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh #I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol #which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything #I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still #recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually #slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.' #ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever #reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished #any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky #and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly #going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et #etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make #stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin #.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care #and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists. #take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc #ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it #82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol...... #ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol

[bleaksqueak]

see, ppl can say what they want about the resi 3 remake, but the remake got Mikhail perfect. Also i actually really love weird Puppy Nemesis lmao

#GET OFF OF HIS TRAIN SHITBIRD #ilu grandpa you did your best #I think the remake is fine #there's parts of the original I miss a ton #and parts I am glad are gone #mostly I'm just confused by the rose colored glasses everyone remembers wrt a nemesis that doesn't exist #he was never a random stalker he always had scripted spawns and due to the ps1 limitations the “random” was down to two or three options #with that said re3 remake coming off the heels of re7 with pretty good stalkers like jack and margeurite #and then directly off the heels of re2 with one of the best programmed game stalkers i've ever seen #he's a letdown for sure #I loved the pre-release rumors saying nemesis would chase you into safe rooms #that should have been a real thing #Oh wow is it really time for our regularly scheduled resident evil obsessing?? #I wanted to name Nikolai after Mikhail but mercury spatted me with a newspaper and told me I had too many M names #I have had this fondness for hero grandpa for a long time okay #anyway I know that absolutely no one follows me for resident evil so lmao ignore my rambling #it's fine though #because no matter if you follow me for solivaga or homestuck :) #I've fed you resident evil no matter what #what do you mean parts of the harley manor are inspired by the spencer mansion!? #HAHA GOT'EM #what do you mean there's a ton of resident evil refs in soli #RAT STRIKES AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thranduel]

i'm so proud of him you don't understand

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #my screenshots #i'm gonna cry #my boy :( #i waited 3 years for that character development and I GOT IT #I NEVER GAVE UP ON HIM #to everyone who reduces him to some one dimensional evil asshole and/or the bear guy or whatever... GET AWAY #he is so much more than that #and to make it clear #i am not defending who he was or what he did #there are mistakes he can't undo and there'll always be things i hated that he did but the fact that he is still capable of growing is huge #like cazador took everything from him and then abused and tortured him for so long #of course he was going to be broken #he had only known cruelty #he probably never wanted to pretend to be a hero or make false promises of helping others because he never experienced that #no one ever helped him #being emotionless prevented him from being further in pain #but as you get to know him more and actually start treating him like a person he starts showing emotion again #he starts feeling things #he literally approved when i gave a child on the street some food #ages ago he wouldn't have done that #but it just shows how much he's grown #and he is genuinely grateful for our support and the fact that we treat him like a person #he never knew what that felt like #anyways i am emotional

[fortyfive-forty]

i've been ruminating a lot on it because i think i'm bad at putting my thoughts into words but i need y'all to understand that while there are absolutely a lot of Not Good Things about the finals being held in saudi arabia for three years...the way people seem to treat is as morally black and white is shortsighted and unhelpful.

realistically the players traveling there will be protected. it may be uncomfortable, it's certainly not ideal, but they will travel there for a few weeks, play their tennis, then leave. there are a lot of women, a lot of queer people who actually live in saudi arabia who cannot just leave, who are actually subjected to laws and social climates...and to me it just seems very disrespectful to that actual lived experience, for everybody to sort of turn their noses up and get on their high horses. of course, if the players wish to opt out, that is their choice, but that is their choice to make. that's their judgement. not ours.

and then, what about a tournament like miami? florida is literally experiencing one of the worst active regressions that i've seen in the us (granted i'm young). things like critical race theory and lgbtq+ ed are being removed from curriculums, rights for trans youth, trans healthcare, etc. are going backwards. abortion rights? gun violence? and yes i know that the laws and climate in saudi arabia are different gravy, i understand that, but my point is, no one would ever DREAM of arguing against hosting a tournament in miami despite all of these issues. and we can extend this to a lot of other tournaments! i mean, all the outrage about fifa hosting a world cup in qatar, but we don't have any of these sentiments about doha? i've seen other people bring up that the finals were hosted in singapore when gay marriage was still illegal there. we've already talked about italy's fascist prime minister. and i could go on and on and on about the war crimes of countries like the us or the uk - is the us not participating actively in genocide right now? where is the standard? if you argue against hosting the finals in saudi arabia for the reason of human rights, to me it seems you have to uphold that standard for the location you do land on. and i can guarantee, you will not find a single country in the world with clean hands.

i want to be clear i am not arguing that hosting the finals in saudi arabia is a good thing, especially for three years, especially because it's definitely going there because of money, and not for any of the "good" reasons i think some people want us to believe about "improving the region" (which is very weirdly white savior-esque anyway). i don't really have an official "conclusion" to this discussion.

what i am arguing is that i think a lot of the protests against saudi arabiahosting the finals are more an example of implicit anti-arab bias and islamophobia, rather than genuine discussion. key word implicit: i don't think most people are purposefully trying to be anti-arab/islamophobic. or at least, i'd like to believe nobody is. but i also think, particularly in the west, there is already so much of this xenophobic sentiment ingrained. and this is why i think it's really really REALLY important to check ourselves when we talk about it instead of just jumping straight to the human rights conversation without a second thought.

i'll say it plainly: i don't think the finals should be held in saudi arabia. but for me, it has more to do with sportswashing, with the dangers of the way money is thrown around in sports, and because i think it's more evidence that the wta doesn't care about player welfare but rather about making a profit (what else is new). human rights are absolutely a concern of mine, but how is it fair to hold saudi arabia to a standard that we don't seem to care about for literally anybody else?

literally look at the us's ugly ugly history, past and present, and tell me why we deserve to host a tennis tournament.

#long post #idk. this is not even all my thoughts #this is long and confusing and convoluted and i'm sorry #but i need y'all to understand it's not as easy as just saying 'oh we can't host it there' #'oh the players should boycott' #it's more complicated than that #and again i'm not really arguing one way or another #i do have my own opinion but i'm not positing that as The Right Choice #i'm definitely open to a lot more discussion on it #because i know i don't have the full perspective either #but i'm tired of seeing takes talking about how 'evil' it is to host the finals there #the way that it's happened and my suspected reasons for it (money)? yeah that's fucked up! #but just the fact that it will be hosted there...hold your horses. slow your roll #saudi arabia is like. a real country with people who actually live there and experience their own regime #god forbid they get to watch some tennis #and again. i just don't think you can ever really talk about these kinds of things and not bring up #the way countries like the us ALWAYS go unchecked #also like. gay marriage wasn't legal federally in the us until 2015. so. were do we go from here