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shortpplfedup · 2 years

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Bad Buddy Behind the Scenes Act 2: We love each other.

Bad Buddy (2021) | Adapted from Behind the Scenes by Afterday and West | Dir. Backaof Noppharnach Chaiwimol

If I now have to fight with Pran even as a joke, I don't want to do it anymore. Instead of beating each other's asses, shouldn't we spend our energy in bed? - Scene 14: Pat Talks

Even though I'm in a hurry, sleep-deprived, skipped meals, and tired, having this big puppy by my side...it's pretty nice.- Scene 17: Pran Talks

When did we start longing for each other's touch? - Scene 23: Pran Talks

Pran acts like he doesn't love me even though he does. I can tell from his heartbeat when I touch him. - Scene 24: Pat Talks

The second act of Bad Buddy continues to diverge and branch off from Behind the Scenes while also paying homage to it through shades, analogues and rethinkings of events. Aof seems invested in removing the most retrograde tropes: the extreme jealousy, the faen fatale, the forced kiss, the tsundere etc., and the ways that he and his writers have done that while retaining the essence of the story is skillful. It's very clear now that the two stories aren't twins, I'm not sure they're even siblings but they're at least close cousins.

THE REALISATION

Where Behind the Scenes makes a slow burn out of Pat's journey from the low-grade crush he is aware of having from the start to his passionate confession to a shocked Pran, Bad Buddy has all of Pat's feelings simmer beneath his conscious notice and then suddenly boil over. This choice builds on an earlier divergence from the novel: the separation, and the unsureness it means that Pat and Pran have with each other. Pat isn't constantly with Pran for those feelings to develop over the course of their lives, he really thought he might never see him again. Anything he may have felt he wouldn't have explored, he would've just ignored.

In both Behind the Scenes and Bad Buddy, jealousy of Wai and Pran's relationship is a point of crystallisation for Pat, in different ways. In Behind the Scenes, the source of Pat's jealousy is his suspicion of a romantic/sexual interest on Wai's part, fueled by his observation of a series of moments over time that he has likely misconstrued. In Bad Buddy we see instead a growing irritation from Pat about the nebulousness of the relationship between him and Pran, and the need to hide their connection and pretend to hate each other. Wai becomes a flashpoint for that irritation, but he is beside the point really. Pat isn't jealous of Wai, he's jealous of what Wai represents. He wants to be openly close to Pran like Wai is able to be, and he wants Wai (and everybody else) to know that he and Pran are special to each other. In the end, that's his lightbulb moment.

THE FIRST KISS

The events leading up to Pat and Pran's first kiss are probably the closest analogue between the events of show and the novel so far, in that there is a confrontation between Pat and Pran, and Pat's jealousy is leading the charge. However, in the novel, Pat and Pran's first kiss is not consensual, and it's pretty aggressive. Pat uses it as a punishment for what he sees as Pran choosing Wai over him, to satiate his jealousy. Pran...well Pran loses his shit. I strike his jaw with my fist without holding back and kick his stomach. It sends him flying out the door...I slam the wall with my fist and cuss out loud before collapsing on the floor...Pat kissed me...What the fuck was that?

The kiss sends Pran into a total spiral, forcing him to finally reckon with feelings he's been burying and ignoring while Pat's have been growing and coming into focus. In Bad Buddy, that aim of shaking Pran out of his comfort zone is accomplished without the non-consent and aggression, in fact Pran's consent and his passionate response make the aftermath even more devastating. Pran pretty much can't believe he did that, and he freaks out.

THE CONFESSION

Pat's confession in Behind the Scenes is a kind of high romance. Essentially, he begs Pran to date him and put him out of his misery. And Pran is stunned, because while Pat has been making these kinds of insinuations for a while, and behaving like a spurned and jealous lover, he never thought he was serious, and never let himself think too deeply about his own feelings. In accepting Pat's confession, Pran is wary. There are conditions. He's clear that he thinks Pat could still change his mind. Pat is all in, but Pran is still holding some things to himself.

In Bad Buddy Pat's verbal confession comes at the end of an extended mutual courtship, more tying things up with a bow than tossing a grenade. This divergence is another one which branches out from the earlier divergence of the separation. The Pat and Pran of the novel have never been separated, and by this time they have been essentially living together for months, building a relationship dynamic, so a shock confession and quick acceptance work. Bad Buddy's Pat and Pran have a different distance to cross, a gap between them to bridge rather than the ease of simply crossing into each other's paths. They have to build their relationship dynamic almost from the ground up, and they do that starting with the truce, kicking into a new gear at the beach, and then into a higher gear in the confines of the bet before they actually get together. Pran still felt that wariness, but it's shown through a different series of events.

THE RELATIONSHIP

In both series and novel, there is a loudness to Pat's love and a certain defencelessness to Pran's; Pat gives his all to Pran and Pran can never really refuse Pat. But one of the things that I struggled with somewhat in the novel was how very HARD Pran is on Pat once they start dating. The depth and intensity of Pran's feelings are shown in his thoughts, but you rarely see that in his words and actions. Pran's inherent reserve and extreme grumpiness are all in service of some hard-won moments at the end of the novel, but it's difficult as a reader to balance the way he clearly feels about Pat with the way he treats him a lot of the time. Pat, and the reader, come to realise that Pran's antagonism is how he shows his love, but it does feel unnecessarily harsh, and sometimes downright mean.

In Bad Buddy as opposed to Behind the Scenes, Pran is the one who has long been aware of his feelings, not Pat. It makes sense that when he is finally able to fulfil those feelings, to be with Pat, he would show his love and affection to Pat openly and enthusiastically. The dynamic of Pran being inwardly soft for Pat but outwardly hard towards him is instead shifted to the pre-relationship stage, when he's pining and trying to hide it, and I think it works better that way.

THE REVEAL

The last major thread in this arc of the story is the revealing of the relationship at school. Pat and Pran don't need the inter-faculty feud to stay connected to each other anymore, and Pat doesn't want to have to pretend to fight Pran for the sake of appearances. Pat is also fed up of having to hide what he and Pran are to each other; he wants to be able to be out and open in at least one sphere of his life. The problem with our friends is trivial. Our families also...I want to hold your hands, look at your face, and talk to you anywhere, not only in this room. Are we seriously going to stay cooped up like this forever...? Their friends figure out (Korn), find out (the architecture boys) and are eventually told (the other engineering boys) over a period of time through a series of events.

Bad Buddy's Pat and Pran are also feeling the strain of keeping their relationship secret. Similarly to the novel, Pat is the one who leans toward wanting to be out and open while Pran is more nervous about the reactions of their friends. Where the series diverges from the novel is in the fact that they quarrel about this, which they don't really do in the novel. There Pran's friends find out because of how Pat reacts when Pran gets injured playing basketball, and then Pat kind of just begs until Pran agrees to meet up with his friends in their debut as a couple. Their quarrel about it in the series is used to drive home one more time the stakes for them before it all comes crashing down. It's resolved with them just about to start easing towards a gentle coming out when they are suddenly outed to all their friends in a cliffhanger act break. A bold choice, and I'm ready to see how it plays out.

FOOTNOTES

I thought Bad Buddy would be a four-quarter series but it's actually breaking quite nicely into a three-act structure. The revelation of the relationship is a perfect second act break, with the fallout kicking off the third act and leading into the final conflict with the parents.

This second act is really driven by the Pat/Pran romance. The series story starts off wide, establishing the wider world and then almost shrinks in a way down to a world of two, establishing the stakes before opening back up again in the third act. It's very well structured and paced so far.

They are keeping the general shape and sequence of the novel's story intact, while changing up a lot of the details. The pillar events remain, but pretty much everything about them and everything around them is different. Bad Buddy is recognisable as an adaptation of Behind the Scenes but it is an extremely loose adaptation. Making it into a romcom was a masterstroke.

I remain eternally grateful that Aof excised the entire Pat/Nat subplot. It wasn't even necessary in the novel, there was sufficient conflict to drive the story without it, and it wouldn't have served to do anything in the series but make Pat look irredeemably bad as a character.

I'm still uncertain of how to view the aging down of Pat and Pran, and I think I won't be entirely sure as to why they did it this way until the story has played out.

I feel like the third act of the story at this point could either swerve back towards the novel in terms of the broad strokes or depart from it completely and both would be good.

#bad buddy #bad buddy series #behind the scenes #bad buddy behind the scenes #page to screen #bl meta series

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bullyhunter--69 · 3 years

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"She's so sweet, really."

Pairing: Izuku x fem!reader

Summary: When you and Izuku started dating, you were as happy as could be. He was beyond sweet and caring, and helped you forget about the bad in your life. But after he introduces you to his mother, Inko, and you start to be a more frequent visitor at the Midoriya household, you realize it's starting to take a bigger affect on you than you thought it would. Why can't your mother be like that?

Tw: mentions of family issues/absent family/family death, bottling up emotions and eventually breaking, a stressed Izuku, ends with soft fluff

A/N: This turned out so much longer and more angsty than planned but I'm really proud of it, tell me what you guys think! 🖤 (This is also my first ever angst written so--)

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Today was a beautiful fall day. Colorful leaves fell around you, the sky was tinged with a deep orange, and the soft grass beneath you made your time all the more comfy. You were snuggled next to Izuku beneath a huge tree on campus, who was currently going on and on about his latest quirk findings. The goal you guys originally had set was to review for the upcoming test, but the topic quickly shifted to Izukus day once your fingers intertwined with his and you inquired about it.

"-and so then once I asked Mr. Aizawa about it I found that- Hey.. are you okay (Y/N)?" You really were listening, but had found that you zoned out. Izukus concerned, soft voice brought you back to reality, and a small smile crawled it's way onto your features. "Yeah 'zuku, I'm all good.. I just was thinking about some stuff and was focusing on your voice. It always helps." You ended your reply with a squeeze of his hand, which all together resulted in his face blooming into a shade of deep red.

"Well, uh.. T-thank you, I'm happy to help!" He stuttered out as he felt butterflies all throughout his body. "Oh, also!" Izuku started, turning his body to face you more, holding your hands in his lap with a nervous look in his eyes. "(Y/N), I was wondering.. we've been together for a bit now and I.. I want my mom to meet you."

As soon as the word 'mom' reached your ears, you tensed up. It was always a sensitive topic, even if it wasn't your parental relationships in question. You knew Izuku had noticed, as the hold on your hands got tighter. "I understand if you're scared or nervous but I know She's gonna love you! She already says you're really pretty and smart just basing off what I've shown her.. she really is looking forward to it, and we don't have to stay long if you don't want to." The gentle rub of his thumb on the back of your hand and the puppy dog eyes was enough to soothe your nerves. If Izuku talked so highly of you to her, and if she was anything like him at all, you figured it wouldn't be that bad to meet her. She would be your mother-in-law someday, so you might as well get it out of the way now and not later.

When the day finally came, you were beyond nervous. The thought of meeting Izuku's mother and her not liking you made a wave of sickness and dread fill every inch of your body. Whether it was a friend, or a boyfriend, meeting mothers always gave you a bad taste in your mouth. It brought back all the feelings that you tried desperately to hide away and fight daily.

See, you were almost fully open with Izuku, but there was one thing he didn't know. Your family, to put it bluntly, was shit. Your mother always belittled you for every single little action you ever made and everything about you. Nothing was ever good enough. As a small child, it was always under-the-table, backhanded compliments with passive aggressive undertones, but after the passing of your father, it turned into raw, brutal words. She was never proud, and never actually loved you, she just used your desire to be a good daughter against you. It was cold, hard, manipulative behavior which resulted in you finally refusing to talk to her after you got accepted into U.A. The mental gymnastics you had to go through to hide all of this, especially from Izuku, was taking a toll on you. You never talked of family and never left the dorms, and had an.. unusual amount of luggage stored away in your room. It seemed like you packed your entire life up in a suitcase and ran.

Which is essentially what you did.

As bad as it sounds, you never planned on telling your love any of this. You just needed to forget all of the childhood trauma you were put through and focus on showing your mother she was wrong. Everything she said about your quirk being useless, to you being intolerable and a bad daughter, would be proved wrong. But, the biggest thing you planned to show her? Is that your father would be proud. She always used him against you, and you'd be damned if you wouldn't prove that point the most ridiculous of them all.

A soft knocking on your dorm brought you out of your deep thoughts, and your gaze slid to the door. Your hands shot to your face and you quickly dried your tears. "O-one second, I'm still changing!" You knew in the pit of your gut that it was Izuku coming to pick you up, and your thoughts were confirmed when you heard him on the other side of your locked door. "Alrighty baby, take your time!" God, he sounded so sweet.. this was hell keeping from him, but it kept him from worrying.

The night went on so much better than expected, and it genuinely surprised you. You had never met a woman as sweet as Inko was. She cooked your favorite food and had your favorite drinks, and even baked you your favorite dessert. She asked about how you were doing in school and once the topic of your quirk was brought up, she was beyond ecstatic to hear you talk about it. She even added on how she felt it would be useful in battle. The night was amazing. Nothing felt real, it all was like the fantasies you made up while lying in bed at 4am sobbing, so sleep deprived you almost can't move to get ready for your class that starts in just a few hours. It's what you've always wanted in a mom-- a beautiful, sweet woman who cares.

Why can't your mother be like that?

As the weeks went on and Izuku kept inviting you over for weekly dinner and game nights with him and Inko, you found it harder and harder to conceal exactly how much your mental health was struggling. Yes, you absolutely adored both your loving boyfriend and his equally loving mother, but it was just so fucking.. hard. Every smile she gave you, the loving, motherly twinkle in her eyes when she talked to Izuku, the amazing dinners, the endless support for both of you, the pictures she insisted on taking of you and Izuku-- it was all too much. You started to dwell on this every single night, and resent yourself for how much anger and jealousy you felt. This wasn't right, but you couldn't help it. It wasn't your fault that your mother hated you for every fiber of your being and Izuku had the best mother imaginable. He was your boyfriend, you should be happy.. right?

You didn't realize how hard you had been sobbing until there was a hushed yet firm knock on your dorm door. The tears that blurred your vision made it even harder to read the clock on your nightstand through the pitch black room you sat in, huddle up in a pile of blankets, All Might plushies and Izuku's hoodies.

9:54 p.m.

The pain that was radiating through your torso from the wreck you had become from however long you had actually been crying was torture. It felt like needles were being shoved into your lungs and your heart was being squeezed in a vice grip. Breathing felt impossible. Your throat was raw. But the thing that hurt the absolute worst, out of everything?

"(Y/N)? Baby, please let me in.." Little Izuku's voice sounded like the biggest bomb going off, the jiggle of your door knob making emergency alarms go off in your head. There wasn't any possible way to get out of this, and this might just be your biggest fear. Facing those soft emerald eyes and that sweet smile that has been open and honest with you over the entirety of your entire relationship, and even before. Telling the love of your life all the trauma you've endured, and then willingly decided to hide from him. No.. it's the disappointment that you're positive will shine through his features that's truly your biggest fear.

You don't know how long he had been listening, but one second was more than enough for you to know Izuku wasn't going to leave. He loved you endlessly and never left without making sure you had a smile on your face. So, with limbs that felt like cement, eyes that felt as if you were crying spikes, and an aching heart, you got up and made your way to unlock the door. It took a minute-- your hold on the cold knob firm and extremely hesitant.

3... 2.. 1.

Finally, Izuku had enough room to gently push your door open, and his breath was taken away when he saw you as the golden light from the dormitory hallway illuminated your entirely wrecked appearance.

Bloodshot eyes, make up filled tears streaming down both checks, snot dripping down to you mouth. The cuffs of his hoodie that covered your shaking body were soaked in black, wet mascara. Your hair was messy and tangled. You were.. broken.

After taking in every little detail of your appearance, a struggled gasp last your body when his arms were suddenly around you. The touch of his warmth around you was electrifying, and instantly brought you to your knees. As Izuku shut and locked the door behind him, still holding you in his strong arms, he sighed softly. "What's wrong?"

These are some of the only words that you really didn't want to come out of his mouth. They stung and tore through your heart like the sharpest of blades. They made you regret not opening up sooner, his tone overflowing with worry, fear, and dread. You knew not to make eye contact, but you couldn't even if you wanted to. Once those words entered your ears, soft and delicate as if you would shatter into a million pieces if he spoke too hard, another strangled sob was unleashed out of what felt to be your core.

"S-she's just so sweet.." Your voice, although strained and crackling, came out with an emotion Izuku had never heard from you before. A mixture of jealousy, rage, disappointment, and disgust is all he could pick out, but it sounded like something was hidden beneath it all. Something that you didn't know how to express, so emotions just came seeping out of you in the easiest way.

Picking you up was an easy task, as your body had long ago given up the fight to stay standing. The sweet boy made his way to your bed and sat with you cradled to his chest, your nose tucking away in the crook of his neck instantly to breath in his scent. It calmed you-- he calmed you, but you couldn't help but to shamefully pull your head away and look across the room.

"(Y/N), you have to tell me more. Who is 'she'? I want to help you.." His voice still held a delicate tone, his fingers combing through your hair with one hand and the other still holding you tightly. After what seemed like forever of Izuku just holding you and letting you cry every single ounce of emotion you held in your body out, your sobs slowly came to a stop and you took a soft, shaking sigh.

It was time to come clean.

"'Z-zuku, I'm sorry.." You started, slowly and steadily while trying to steady your breath further. The gentle back rubs from his warm hands helped sooth you, and gave you the strength to continue.

"I haven't been exactly.. truthful with you." As you took a second to find your words and sniffle, you could sense Izuku tilt his head to the side curiously. "You always ask if I'm okay-- if I'm happy-- and I always say that I am. I love you so incredibly much and you do make me feel happy and safe and welcomed and-" Your ramble was cut off with a kiss to your temple, which was a silent signal of Izukus trust and time.

"Because of how incredibly happy you make me, I dont want you thinking that this is your fault at all. Its mine.. I shut you out and bottled myself up when I should have just told you in the first place. I just.. don't know how to say it other than to say it outright."

Your shakey tone made Izukus heart race even more. He was staying calm and supportive on the outside but on the inside, he was a wreck. He was currently going over every single one of his actions, words, and notes that made what you and him were-- absolutely scraping the bottom of the barrel for anything and everything he could have done wrong. That stuff, though, was shoved deep so he could help you, because that was what was important right now.

"I don't.. Izuku, I love you and I love your mother so incredibly much. I feel at home with you guys but it's just so hard. Seeing how sweet and caring she is, how She's invested in both of our lives, how she.. s-she said she loved me.." You body was quickly starting to shake again, so Izuku pulled you in closer. "Why can't my mother be like that?"

There it was. It finally clicked in Izuku's mind. Everytime you avoided the topic of family, how you never had pictures with them, how you never had a place to go to during break, how every day after spending time with him and Inko you seemed drained the next morning as if you had stayed up all night.. it clicked as to what might be wrong, and his suspicions were confirmed when you continued.

"M-my mother hates me and she has my entire life. I have never received an ounce of love or respect from that filthy woman and it's always on my mind. Her degradation and her mocking laugh and her hideous presence. She used my dead fucking dad against me to make me feel like I'd never make it in this world and I just-- I-I want to escape the horrible memories but I can't. I just want a mother like yours.. it's what I've always wanted and I don't understand why I had to be the one stuck with a dead dad and a mockery of a mother. Seeing how absolutely amazing your mom is fills me with love and happiness and a sense of home I've never gotten before but at the end of the day, it just reminds me of how shitty my life was up until I got to U.A. I don't have a mom. I don't have a home. And its not fair that I'm upset over the fact that you having those things happens to remind me of that. I'm sorry."

Izuku was speechless. His comforting ministrations had stopped and he just looked at you. Even with the pitch black void that was your room, his emerald eyes shined bright.. and brimmed with tears.

"I.. I had no idea, baby, I'm so sorry.." Izuku was choosing his words incredibly carefully. He held nothing against you, nor was he upset or disappointed at you. He was a person that could put himself in someone else's shoes very easily and see through their eyes, and your emotional monologue was enough to paint your story for him. He just wanted to comfort you and show you everything was okay.

"I don't want you to be sorry, there isn't any need for you to be. You can't help what your mother put you through, and how horribly unfair to you that it was. Nobody can control how others actions affect them-- it's just how humans are.." Strong arms turned your body to face him, your limbs wrapped around his torso and your cheeks gently held in his hands. As tears streamed down his cheeks, he stared deep into your eyes. "You're so strong and beautiful, and I understand as much as I can. I love you so much.. Baby, to hell with her. I know it's hard, but she doesn't have to mean anything to you anymore. Me and you, and mom, can be our own family. We're your home now.."

A sob managed to choke it's way out of your throat, but this one was different. Your head fell into Izukus neck and you held him as tight as you possibly could, soaking his chest with more snot and tears. His arms held you back just as tightly as he peppered soft butterfly kisses along your hairline. This is how you stayed for the rest of the night until you calmed down and passed out on his firm build. Laying back softly, Izuku tucked you both in and kept his tight hold on you.

"Goodnight, love.. You're home."

#bnha scenarios #bnha smut #bnha x reader #bnha fluff #bnha angst #izuku midoriya #izuku x reader #bnha izuku #izuku #izuku smut #my hero headcanons #my hero academia #my hero imagines

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ambivalentatmosphere · 2 years

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for hibiki with the truth serum: what is the one thing that will always enrage you? it doesn't matter who, when, or why, but that one beserk button you know will get under your skin?

My character is under a truth serum, ask them anything.

Hibiki woke up in a brightly-lit room. For some reason he couldn't quite tell, his head felt foggy, as if he was sleep-deprived and struggling to stay awake, and there was a dull pain on his left arm. On the other side of the room, looking directly at him, he could see the vague silhouette of a person as well as hear their voice while they asked him a sequence of questions, but it was so hard to concentrate that he couldn't really make anything out of it.

On the back of his mind, he could tell that this was an interrogation. Hibiki was always a sharp one, after all. Even so, whatever it is they did that left him so weak made it pretty hard to come up with an escape plan, so his best bet was playing along for now.

"What, are you some kind of therapist?" He joked, hoping to use humor to get some sense of control over this situation. While doing so, he noticed how slurred his words were. "I'm not really a fan of this new approach, but you do you."

"I guess that if I had to say one thing that makes me angry... It's people that act like peace and love can solve all the world's problems. The ones that, when you get mad about something, spend more time complaining that you're not being polite enough instead of listening to what you're saying."

Words just kept coming out of his mouth and he couldn't really tell why he even bothered dignifying that question with such a personal answer. It was hard to think straight, and as such he continued to talk.

"Because that's how the people in charge get to you. They don't wanna hear about the consequences of their actions, so instead of debating your point they just make up excuses. You're being too loud, too aggressive, we can't take you seriously if you don't bend over backwards for us. And then people who actually suffer from those actions end up repeating those same words because they don't wanna be the ones making a scene. Nothing pisses me off more than when someone lets themselves get exploited because it's the easy way out."

#anon #meme reply #i took the truth serum aspect literally #ic: ethan

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veterveter · 3 years

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Hey hey, it's gay bike anon again! I'm more than honoured to get my own tag!!! I definitely would like to keep talking to you <3 And only love for you too <3

I'll gladly wait for your response to my ask (or asks??? we'll see one day ehehehe)! I feel you, when people cite some of my text messages from a few months (or more) ago I'm often like "nope, nah-ah, that's not me, you're wrong". Same for older essays, I often can't believe I wrote those. And even with things I wrote late at night a few weeks ago, sometimes I'm like "I wrote that? That monstrosity??? Okay, I need more sleep before writing". (My capacity of writing in correct English grammar usually goes to sleep before I do, same goes for varied word choice). But sometimes I'll see this project I've worked on YEARS ago and exactly recognize the pieces I wrote? Since the ask would be fairly recent, I suppose I would recognise my writing style and word choice and since I didn't wrote it whilst sleep deprived (I hope??) I'm setting my chances of recognising it pretty high. But we'll see one day, the mystery will marinate for a while... [I am rereading this in the daytime, and this is EXACTLY what I meant, at night I make the weirdest word choices?? I’m definitely not changing it though because I might find it kinda funny]

I snorted so hard about the way you talked about your almost-name, I'm giggling here like crazy. Apparently my name means something alike 'dedicated to God', but my parents aren't really believers, so gotta love that. The meaning of my sibling's name is 'summer', but I'm the one born in the summer, whilst my sibling is born in autumn, oops. Guess my parents never checked one of those sites/ books where you can find the meaning of a name hahaha.

I love how my ask was so weird and chaotic that you sent a screenshot to a friend. I LOVE that she had no idea what was going on. Then again, I watched the semis (obviously hahaha) but I had no idea what was going on either... But honestly it was peak Dutch culture, water and bicycles, I would just add an ode to 'hagelslag' and voila, the entirety of Dutch culture summed up... [Also: if you don't know: 'hagelslag' is just sprinkles which we eat on bread, yes, on bread, we do not not only eat sprinkles as on cake or on donuts, like in any other country, no, we put it on bread. It's actually a really popular sandwich topping here. My ultimate favourites are the chocolate ones, but you also have them in several fruity flavours (like forest fruit) and anise flavour.] Thank you, perfect chaotic energy is an ultimate goal I strive towards *bows like I'm Victorian royalty or something*

You're absolutely right, it went EXACTLY like that. Specifically, I would be studying for my exams, explaining topics to myself like I always do, so I'd tell myself "The six possible origins of economies of scope are indivisibility, specialisation, marketing, research and development, GUESS WHAT.. SUBWAY DRIVER GANDÍA... ehhh... what was I doing again??" OR: "one of the most detailed and most used models of responsive regulation is Brathwaite's piramid. His enforcement piramid visually shows, nope not important, SUBWAY DRIVER GANDÍAAAAAA" And I'd laugh, continue explaining theories and calculations to myself until my focus started lessening again and my thoughts would wander off again. I am VERY glad I'm not the only one who thinks about it from time to time, and I'm glad you're not suing me for any mental harm yet.

Yess, those pictures I saw from Promising Young Woman look so beautiful and aesthetic!! I'll probably watch it somewhere after the 16th, because I'll most likely have finished my last exams by then. I'll tell you what I thought about it! Thank you SO SO SO much for all the luck wishes!!!! I had an exam last Friday and I absolutely rewarded myself, because it went better than I expected and I passed an earlier exam and a paper too! I didn't buy myself a tricorne (yet), but I did buy funko pops (my inner economist said it was 100% rational because it was a really good deal hahaha). I still have two exams to go, so I could always buy a tricorne for finishing either of those, OR. EVEN BETTER. I'll ask my parents (or my grandparents) for one for my birthday. I mean, that would be hilarious. They'd be so confused. They've never seen S3 and S4 of LCDP so they'll have no idea, even if I tried to explain it. It would be so incredibly funny (and really really weird for them), I am laughing like crazy just at the thought of it.

I've never been in Finland before, but those temperatures do not sound legal indeed. I have no knowledge of Finnish law, but maybe article 3 of the European Convention on Human Rights, the prohibition of torture, would work? If I was the judge I’d 100% agree, so we should all sue the weather sksksks. I'm glad to have brought you rain though (and that I apparently possess the power to do so - magic weather controlling pirate seems like a nice enough job to me)!!! I hope the temperature has become at least somewhat lower. You're right, climate change should just... stop... right away. The weather is pretty weird here, right now: one day it will be super sunny and (at least) around 27 degrees and almost melting away, and the other day it will be raining and I'll be wearing my warmest sweater. Like, why the extremes??

I love that I am able to make you lose your coherent thoughts (that's probably why we have one brain energy about Underwater, because I, too, have the ability to make myself lose my coherent thoughts). I'm glad for your faith in my impersonation of Martín. I even started Duolingo Spanish again, and now know the phrase, "Yo bebo leche" (I drink milk) which obviously would be very important to him. Now I'll just need an Argentinian accent to go with it. Leaning menacingly on a cane would be GREAT, I love the idea. I'll open job applications for a Denver. Maybe my cat could help me, she, much like Denver, is super loud and she is super aggressive towards other cats, so there is potential there. And guiding dogs and even tiny guiding horses exist, why not a guiding cat?

I always assumed I would follow a more... you know… legal... career path, maybe even literally a career in law. But, my accounting professor also showed us how to manipulate financial statements ("so you can notice when people are doing this", uh-huh sure, sure that’s why) and another professor of mine also said that a criminal career sometimes could be the more rational, rewarding choice over a legally acceptable career. So, I suppose I should not be surprised by this sudden change of career plans. I should have seen this coming. And what better way to be able to avoid the laws than by knowing exactly what they are and how far you can go. And if that plan doesn’t work out, the books of law I have (they’re combined in two huge hardcover bundles) are really heavy and you could probably harm someone with them if you hit hard enough… Well, I suppose you can even leave “hard” away, just by hitting someone softly with those books you can bring serious harm to them… Ah, and like that one professor would say: in this scenario it would be a rational choice to become a pirate instead of a privateer. Oh dear, not Arturito :/ Mutiny would seem like a good option, I’ll take over the ship and become Palermo the Pirate. Sounds much and much better than “Arturo the Pirate”, since that isn’t an alliteration, sooo mutiny is reasonable even for that reason. And then there’s the fact that it’s Arturo, I mean, that says enough.

YOU LOVE UNDERWATER TOO????!!!! I completely forgot that you posted that! It seems we do indeed already have one shared braincell energy my friend <3

Last week has been pretty good (except for having to make a test at 9:30, what a godless time, I’m usually barely awake by then ehehehe), I think I aced the test I had, got back some good grades and finally got my first Covid vaccination (and only shortly slight dizziness as a side effect, so that's pretty great). And thanks so much!!! For now I’m safe from Gandía, but somewhere in mid-July I’ll have to take an exam on campus, so I’ll might be able to bring out my inner Palermo then.

How was your week? If the weather is still unkind to you (well, also if the weather *is* kind to you), treat yourself to your favourite ice cream and a break every now and then <3 Do you already have holidays or hasn’t your academical year ended yet?

You’re also right - this is conversation and we’re friends now <3 And I absolutely do like cookies! I would say my favourites are american cookies (though stroopwafels are reaally good as well) but honestly there are only a few kinds of cookies that I don’t love that much. And anything with chocolate in it is GREAT. I do also love apples and bananas, though grapes (which I just had) are even better! What’s your favourite kind of cookie?

Also, I know I have been giving you so many prompts already, but I saw this one in that list you reblogged and it gave me so much Berlermo energy: you live in an apartment with your best friend. the two of you always fall asleep in each other's arms, but one day, your friend isn't there. they've fallen in love with someone else. it's your other best friend, who recently moved in with you. and that's when you realize, that those nights you spent together, weren't so platonic after all. I would love it if you’d write it, but if you decide not to that’s absolutely fine too, no worries <3

By the way, I was going to post this quite a bit earlier, but my laptop (unlike me) decided yesterday night, when I was finishing writing this, that it was time to sleep, so I had to quickly dump this whole rant in Google Docs (it’s almost two and a half pages what the heck) and I was busy all day so I only was able to upload it just now. I swear I can ractually espond faster than after a week :) Have a lovely evening, much love from the gay bike country <3

Heeeeeeey you are back!!! How happy am I to see my favouritest gay bike anon return to my inbox!!! 💕 [Author's note: You can tell I started this reply right away because you've sent me three or four asks since this one and one can tell you are indeed back hahaha]

Yeeeeeees this is how one makes friends!! You know, I was just thinking the other night of how "gay bike anon" shortens to GBA, like the Game Boy Advance, you know. Make of that what you will, but it pleases me to know that you can also have a cute nickname for your cute nickname. Nicknameception.

Yes, exactly that, "I did not write that, and if I did in fact write that.. No I did not." Also, "the mystery will marinate"??? That's an amazing word choice and some day I will absolutely use it for something, just you wait. I think it just goes to show that you should write everything while tired, haha.

Haha I love that naming convention for you. It may make very little sense, but....... but. Also, happy birthday for whenever it is, presumably in the nearby past or future!! Lots of love!! You're the summer child while your sibling is... a summer child, but like, different.

Since you appreciated my almost-name story, I'll reward you with the rest of it: so my name is Tuuli, which is Finnish for "wind". My mum originally wanted to name me Pilvi, which means "cloud". And then she was like oh no this child is not at all serene and cloud-like??? and thus, a new me. I'm glad she had second thoughts, although I wonder if having such an ill-fittingly chill name would've done anything to alter my personality? Nomen est omen and all. There's some kind of an alternate universe where all of that played out, but I'm glad it's not this one.

Yeah either you watched the semis and have no idea, or you didn't watch them and have no idea. There is no way to get what was going on there, I'm certain they themselves also didn't get it. I had no idea about hagelslag but thjipgnhefjpihjo that's amazing, I love that for you!!!! There was absolutely no reason to go there but you as a country just... did that. Amazing. Please have some and report to me so I can live through you. And also, you are absolutely legit Victorian royalty [or something] *bows in return*. Also, I do love how you say "I watched the semis (obviously)." Imagine if you didn't and this entire time I was tragically misinterpreting the nature and intentions of your ask and you were just rolling with it because you've no idea what I'm on about but are also too polite to tell me that. Khhhhhhh

Your brain has priorities!!!! And they're honestly beautiful. Well done, brain. Subway driver Gandíaaaaaaaaaa~~~ My brain is filled with Berlermo quotes that come @ me at random times during the day and leave me just a tad shell-shocked, remembering how it all went down. I'm eating my morning yoghurt and my brain goes yo te propuse fundir oro juntos, and I'm just there like :)))))) Real nice, brain.

Have you had the opportunity to see Promising Young Woman yet? Hhhhh it's so pretty, every time I work on this reply [it's a lot of times, okay, I'm very diligent about this, I stare at this ask and craft snazzy replies in my head all the time, that's why I'm so slow in... actually replying] I'm reminded of that. I'm not a very visual person but the colours and the framing... that was really nice.

I am somewhat glad you've not been to Finland yet, you must hit me up when you come visit, I'll take you for coffee!!! It's actually cooler now (bless!!!!!!!!!!!), the last... four days have been reasonable 14-20 degrees, after four consequtive weeks of 25+. Kkhhhh thinking back to it makes me feel a little ill, but now beret weather is back. I own a lot of berets, dear gay bike anon. I'm going to my university city for the weekend and I'm already wondering which beret(s) I should bring with me. This is an important decision with potential long-lasting consequences. I don't know if you've played any of Telltale's games (The Wolf Among Us and the first two seasons of The Walking Dead are the best ones, fight me), but when you make a decision and the game goes "This character will remember that." and you instantly go oh no what have I done??? That's how I feel about choosing the perfect beret for my city outing. But yes, weather extremes are just the worst. We've been having the longest drought I've ever seen here (it's still not properly rained, for the record, on Tuesday it rained for an hour or so) while in other places there's awful flooding. That's awful.

Ahhh I'm so happy you're continuing your Spanish-learning!! I took a beginner's course at uni in the spring semester, I'm going to take the next one when uni resumes in September. And yes, I'm studying it for LCDP. I mean I love languages in general, but I never had a particular need to study Spanish, until this year I suddenly did. I'm also Duolingo-ing it! Very slowly and steadily. Also, I adore the idea of your cat being your Denver. What's your cat's name??? What do they look like?? Tell me everything, you can't just leave it at my cat, you simply must allow me to meet them. Also, you know why guide cats aren't a thing? Because cats are the worst. I love cats, but you can't just teach them to do useful things. They'll do them if they want to. As I type this, my cat is trying to catch flies at my feet. Her name is Muusa.

I studied accounting for my undergrad!! So I can join you in [[[preventing]]] tax fraud and [[[recognising]]] tampering with financial statements. We can make a totally legitimate business out of it. No but truly, I'm certain we were taught some of those things with the expectation that our future employers would expect it of us. Capitalism is so fun :)))))) And you shouldn't be surprised, academia is but a stepping stone to crime, honestly. Any dark academia book will tell you this. You start out learning Latin and wearing turtlenecks, you end up with murder. That's just how academia works. And you seem to have already chosen your weapon... you're well on your way. :) Palermo the Pirate sounds great!!! I support your mutiny. I don't think I said, but this is my favourite word of the English language. Mutiny. Mutiny????? It doesn't sound very serious. It sounds cute, actually. I love it.

I'm so happy to hear you got your covid vaccine!!!! I had mine a month ago or so - I typed you a reply to the subway Gandía thing on the train ride back, actually. I was really stressed about getting it on my right arm, because I'm left-handed, and last time I got a vaccination (like a decade ago) they insisted on giving it on my left arm and I was sad :( But this time!! I got it on my chosen arm and was very pleased. So anyway, that was a segue. I'm glad you got your covid shot and were side effect -free!!!

My week has been good, thank you!! I went to my uni city for my niece's birthday on Monday, and as said I'm going back on Friday (tomorrow). So this time in between has felt like exactly that, time in between. I started reading Call Me By Your Name. I had my Korean class last night. Now I'm hanging out with my cat (she has stopped chasing flies and climbed to my lap) and talking to you. My holidays started already in May! And uni resumes in the beginning of September, but I'm a tutor for new students so I need to show up three weeks earlier for the orientation weeks. Yes, we do three weeks of orientation (read: three weeks of drinking). It's a bit insane.

Now I need to ask you again how your week has been, since I'm so slow. How has your week been?? Are you free from your exams?? When does your uni resume?

Stroopwafels are so good ahhh I'll have to buy them when and or if I see them. Possibly when I'm in central Europe but haha I can hope to be lucky and see them at a store with imported stuff, you know. My favourite cookies??? Omg maybe these ones - they have this truffle filling, and they're fun to eat (this is important in cookies, you see):

And of course they're Fazer. Because Finnish people have only one setting, apparently. Or maybe that's just me. But all cookies are great, honestly. I like making American cookies, that's always a fun pastime (and you get to have cookie dough, that's like half the fun). I've actually not made them for a lifetime??? Maybe I should, soon. I'll keep you updated. Also, brookies. I love making brookies, they're great.

I really really appreciate being given prompts, I hope you know that!! Thank you!! Consider me pocketing this prompt and maybe eventually some day theoretically getting back to you about it!! You're right - it has Berlermo energy. Insofar as either of them actually have other friends. :)

Thank you for this kind message, dear gay bike anon <3 I'd apologise for my slowness in replying but I think I'd rather you just assume that I'll get back to you, and thank you for your patience <3 Your kind and funny and chaotic asks always brighten my day. I hope you'll have a great rest of the week and just... all the nice and fun and good things and great vibes in life. All the best, dear gay bike anon <3 Take care!! And greetings from Muusa as well - she just yawned and I presume that means "greetings".

#only love for gay bike anon #the timeline became accidentally somewhat restored with this one #I may have intended to reply to medieval snails first - I was writing these two simultaneously even though that makes very little sense #- but I finished this one first #strange!!!!!! but yes all the best to you my friend I hope you'll have a great day and a best rest of this week!!#asks #I'm scrolling to check that the formatting didn't break and the random box of cookies amuses me

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scripttorture · 7 years

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I'm not sure if this falls under torture or PTSD behaviors, but my character has extensively suffered 18 years of abuse/neglect from her mother. No one in the house would help even though they saw what was happening. So my question is what lasting effects would my character experience? I already have a few things to go off based on my own experience, but was looking for more. So far I have: nightmares, fear of touch, intimacy, other people, loud noises, raised voices and a few more I can't fit

So I think this isreally more ScriptTraumaSurvivor’s area, but I know their blog is on hiatusbecause they’re really busy at the moment and I can help with some of this.

I’m not a survivormyself and my knowledge comes primarily from books and scientific journals.From a writing perspective that means I can give a list of common symptomspretty easily but I’m not going to be as helpful for inventive ways they mightmanifest or what they feel like from the inside.

There are two links Ithink you might find helpful: the first is myMasterpost on the common effects of torture which has a list of symptoms,the second is ScriptTraumaSurvivor’sreally awesome worksheet which is designed to help you develop andconsistently show your character’s symptoms, triggers etc.

None of the symptomsyou’ve listed strike me as unreasonable but they do all seem to be centredaround PTSD.

PTSD is far from the only mental health problem survivorsexperience and not all survivors develop PTSD. (You probably know that but thisis a public post and not every does).

At the moment we reallyhave no idea why survivors develop the particular symptoms they do. There isn’teven really a clear statistical breakdown on which of the ‘common’ symptoms aremost common. In the absence of clear statistics my advice is to think like anauthor: the symptoms that you think fit the character and story best are theones you should go for.

But it is, generally, symptoms plural. People who have gonethrough multiple traumatic events, such as torture or long term abuse, tend tohave multiple mental health problems.

So I think you shouldconsider additional mental health problems: depression, anxiety, panic attacks,severe mood swings and aggression are all possibilities.

Memory problems arealso extremely common. Torturevictims tend to have difficulty learning new skills, remembering thingsaccurately and can also have problems with intrusive memories. The memoryproblems affect recent memory,victims can forget events leading up to torture, or basic things in everydaylife like where they put their keys or whether they went food shopping the daybefore.

They also have atendency to remember things incorrectly.Everyone subconsciously edits their memories but in torture survivors ithappens much more than normal. Which feeds into things like poor prosecutionrates because victims often can’t accurately remember details. Examples can berelatively trivial such as being surethe door in their cell was on the left when it was on the right but they canalso be huge.

An experiment by USarmy doctors provides a good example of how big these memory problems can be.In the experiment volunteers were subjected to a ‘high stress’ interrogation,which involved starving them for a day, sleep deprivation and manhandling them during the four hour interrogation.Between 51-68% of soldiers identified the wrong person as their interrogatorthe next day.

The variation dependson how they were asked to identifythe interrogator.

There’s no sure way totell what any one survivor will experience. But memory problems of somedescription are really so common that they’re almost guaranteed.

Another thing that’sworth considering is chronic pain. The cause isn’t always clear (or indeednecessarily the same) but it’s something a lot of survivors experience.

I hope this helps, itshould at least give some ideas for additional symptoms. :)

Disclaimer

#tw torture #mental health problems #psychological effects of torture #memory #chronic pain #ptsd #depression #akranick-author

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