#IM SO MAD ABOUT THIS LIKE I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE GETTING RENEWED WHAT THE FUCK

[jjadmanii]

okay so the wilds got canceled for low viewership and negative responses, first kill got canceled for not holding viewership long enough and negative responses, paper girls again got canceled for low viewership, and warrior nun *checks notes* oh warrior nun had overwhelmingly positive responses but got canceled for not holding viewership long enough… weirdly tho these “low viewership” numbers are incredibly similar to many shows that did get renewed and did get largely promoted-namely heartstopper, young royals, elite— so i cant help but wonder if maybe maybe low viewership isnt the problem at all. and that maybe maybe the problem is the other thing that is shared by all of these shows, which is their main love story being wlw and their primary audience being sapphics. and that maybe maybe these shows were never meant to be renewed, as the disparity in promotional investment is obvious, because of that very reason. maybe that has something to do with it. fuck netflix and fuck streaming.

#rot in hell netflix #warrior nun #wlw #IM SO MAD ABOUT THIS LIKE I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE GETTING RENEWED WHAT THE FUCK #first kill #the wilds #avatrice #sapphic #wlw representation #netflix

[orionsangel86]

Welp. Okay I watched the last episode of ofmd.

To sum up my thoughts on this season I will say that whilst I enjoyed it and felt the love and passion and respect for its queer fanbase throughout, it didnt hit me the same way the first season did. It felt like maybe a little bit of that season 1 magic was missing and for that I very much blame Max's cutting off 2 episodes and slashing the budget. They had a lot of story they wanted to tell that would have worked so much better in 10 episodes.

I consider the last 3 episodes of season 1 some of the best TV I have seen in my life. From the use of The Chain in ep 8, through the dramatic highs and lows of eps 9 and 10 it was edge-of-your-seat drama and I was in awe at the creators that put it together. But one of the reasons why those 3 eps were so good is because the drama and the pivotal moments were given time to breath.

If those 3 eps were given the same lack of time and budget as season 2, no doubt they all would have been crammed into 1 episode and it would not have had the same impact.

If anything that last episode should have played out across two, with Izzy's death being the half way point and cliffhanger ending leading to a final battle and somewhat happy resolution.

I'm not mad at Izzy's death. If anyone was gonna die, it was gonna be him. His status as Blackbeards enabler and sometimes mentor is over. For Ed to truly be free, I think Izzy always had to go. From a storytelling perspective it makes perfect sense, even though I am sure a lot of fans are absolutely heartbroken about it.

Another casualty of the reduced screentime meant certain original cast members weren't given anywhere near the amount of screentime they should have had. I was expecting a lot more focus on Jim as they were basically the third lead of s1 due to them getting the same backstory as Ed and Stede. All of the crew appear to have had drastically reduced parts which does feel like a big loss to me.

Its funny actually, OFMD S2 suffered from the opposite problem to GOS2. OFMD had too much story to tell in a limited timeframe, GOS2 had very little story to tell outside of the flashbacks and probably too much time given to it. Both shows season 2s suffered from tremendously bad pacing issues.

Also, the one thing the final episode made so obvious to me, is the uncertainty of getting a s3 renewal. It is so clear in the way they tried to wrap things up in a happy bow as best they could, so that if they do get cancelled it leaves fans at least somewhat satisfied. I hate this though. I hate that studios are so fickle and ruthless that creators have to gamble with good quality writing and avoid cliffhangers because of asshole executives who dont actually care about the stories.

Because of the fast pacing, and the fear of cancellation, it felt more like a rush happy ending instead of a part way point in a bigger story, with important character development still to come. Perhaps I need more time to absorb the story in a full rewatch, but im not exactly itching for more at this point, whilst also not really being satisfied with what I got either. I wish we had left Ed and Stede in at least some minor peril, like have them captured and threatened with hanging but at least in a good place romantically, so that we can start speculating about what kind of escape plan they will come up with in season 3. Leaving them in a dilapidated old inn somewhere just felt wrong to me. Instead of ending the season with the stakes sky high (like season 1) it feels like they left season 2 with zero stakes at all, instead of at least a happy medium. At this point we should be turning to fanfiction and wondering what happens next, but instead I'm left thinking "okay then. That was good. What can I watch next?" I don't need to bury myself in fanfic and fanart to feed the hyperfixation this time around, and that is where I feel the most loss.

I'm sure others will have hugely different reactions to me though. Perhaps my expectations were too high? Perhaps my GO obsession just isn't leaving room for OFMD this time? But then again, I think if GOS2 hadn't ended the way it did, I wouldn't still be so obsessed with that either.

Sigh. I dunno. It was a good fun show and will no doubt still be hugely popular with devoted fans, but for me I just can't say it cast the same spell over me as it did last year.

#ofmd #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #perhaps my feelings will change after a rewatch #i hope so #i just wish they could have had the extra two episodes to stretch out the story

[demadogs]

What's your least favorite byler "proof"? Like when someone shows somebody it in an argument/interaction/whatever and it makes you go "noo wtf not that please" 😭 I think for me it's that one part in the infamous byler slides where there's a koala/bear in between mike and El and that represents will.

oh my god youre gonna get me canceled theres so so many i think are insane and dont believe in at all lmao. the masterdoc is fun but theres so much i think wasnt intentional. and so much of what i see here i think is a stretch.

bouta break my silence and come out as an anti believer in so many popular theories on here… no one be mad at me

dont think mike had a letter for will in his pocket in s4 (im SORRY but that wouldve been addressed)

dont think the tracks being different and youre the heart are connected in any way or supposed to be played together they dont sound good or seamless together at all

dont think mike walking into the school newspaper room for nancy and looking around was him looking at guys and gay panicking at all

hate the sauna test theory. they walked in on a bunch of gross naked wrinkly old men theyre not gay panicking?? maybe if they were conventionally attractive young guys but no. i think the masterdoc argues that mike looks down in shame bc hes thinking about his future self as a gay man but i dont believe in that at all tbh. i also dont think that zoom in on the men sign had anything to do with byler it was just an establishing shot of where they were.

not sold on lucas’ new coke speech being related to byler (the seating arrangement in that scene tho was definitely intentional)

i dont think at alll that mikes break down on hopper in s2 yelling “liar liar liar” had anything to do with internalized homophobia. i dont think he ever thought about his sexuality before s3

i think a lot of the times we’ve seen the colors of a certain sexualitys flag has been unintentional. something specifically pointed out like the rainbow ship for will probably was but a background character somewhat close to mike wearing colors that vaguely resemble the bi flag? or the lighting on his shirt kinda looking like the mlm flag? i dont think thats intentional at all. when they do symbolism shit like that its much more obvious (framing mike in the closet)

this one im actually on the fence about because it would be really cool, theres just one word that makes me second guess it. the idea that the girl fake choking at suzie’s house and the dad freaking out was foreshadowing of mikes monologue. on some levels it makes sense but the way the kid said “your terror it looked genuine” kinda makes it seem like it would be implying that mike wasnt actually scared for els life in that moment which i dont like at all. if he had said “your performance” instead i would be 100% sold

i dont believe in most the s1 byler theories. i do think they had the idea of byler in mind from the beginning but at that point they didnt even know if theyd be renewed so i dont think they prioritized anything that could foreshadow byler. i think the lack of romantic tension with mike and el in comparison to jonathan and nancy is telling, but i dont think there was anything in that season relating to mikes sexuality or feelings for will, both because of logistics and prioritizing mlvn for the first season, and because they had TWO SCENES TOGETHER

also dont believe in flickergate as much as i love the idea of it it would break the rules of the universe that theyve already established. the upside down isnt actually in the past its a place frozen in time. things happening there dont affect the past.

theres definitely more but those are the ones i can think of rn.

#also not byler but THE DUFFERS JUST FORGOT WILLS BIRTHDAY OK IT WAS AN ACCIDENT #byler #eden answers

[faarkas]

4, 12, 27, 35 + verde/takemura!!!

leah i love u sooo much im so sorry that u’ve opened pandoras fucking box i CANNOT shut up about their wedding if u can even call it that bc it’s actually the most ridiculous shit ever. anyway. madness and rambling under the cut :)

4 - First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

it was absolutely not love at first sight ASUEKFKSN He was pretty disgusted with her because he thought that she killed his boss and sort of complicated toxic father figure-esque situation, she had been shot in the head and thought he was going to finish her off, the girlies were not happy with each other. She did think he was very handsome tho. Go queen give us everything. she is nothing if not thirsty always .

Though I do wonder if he actually thought that or knew off the bat that yorino/bu did it 🤔 HA GUESS WHO NEEDS TO REPLAY MY FAVOURITE PART OF THE GAME BC I HAVE SUCH A SHITTY MEMORY and i just haven’t played it in a long time

Anyway she still stole from them and he was grieving so I just don’t think he was too happy with her period but obviously things change as they get to know each other :)

12 - Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?

OK SO HEHE. There was barely a proposal honestly it was more of them sitting on the couch relaxing and enjoying each other’s company when he was like (bashfully) “I’m fighting an impulse” and verde’s like 👁👁⁉️ AND THEN HES LIKE “I think we should get married.” (all of this rough dialogue not actually the real dialogue. u get the gist.) and verdes like 👁👁‼️ yeah let’s go get fucking married go go go

and then that same night they leave, verde gets a dress bc she wants a nice dress tyvm, and they end up going to some 24hr neon everything elvis (or maybe illegal kerry) impersonator style chapels and elope. :) And after they end up in some greasy diner for their first meal as a married couple bc it’s the wee hours of the morning at that point and it’s the only place open eating greasy ass diner food. it’s then that the adrenaline starts to wear off a little and he starts to feel a little regretful that he didn’t give her the full experience that he should have but she’s just sitting across from him in their booth eating fries, uncaring that the hem of her awfully expensive dress is getting filthy, looking at him like he’s the only man in the world that I think it quells that pretty quick. I don’t think verde would really want a huge traditional wedding anyway she’s too private for all that. She does get into a lil bit of trouble with Val and the gang for it later tho. (val later when she gets roped into a huge italian wedding like can u bottle whatever made ur man just want to elope and give it to me please for the love of god)

Honestly I don’t think they really have a honeymoon. Maybe a little later on but i think it’s mostly business as usual. them being married doesn’t really change things a lot but I think they do feel even closer than they did before. commitment rly does look good on them tbh. Tho I can see them renewing their vows at some point

27 - Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up?

slap my ass and call me a romantic that never wants to deal with it myself AHAJFKFJ BUT I JUST DONT DO TRAGEDY MOST OF THE TIME. Tho I do struggle to just see them growing old in more of the sense that they’re both mercenary types and even if they get out of it to move into more. civilian/normal work they just have so many enemies that could pop up in whenever but FROM WHAT I’VE SORTED SO FAR YES they stay together for as long as they’re alive. Hopefully they grow old together.

And they do have kids :) I think the funniest thing for them is the way they catch baby fever after hanging out with val and lorenzo’s newborns twins. But it isn’t super easy for verde after all the shit her poor body has been through and continues to go through that after some failed attempts and trauma they end up adopting two and then they end up having one or maybe two ~miracle~ biological kids on accident so. they end up with a well rounded family. :) Parenthood also looks good on them. They have the range.

35 - Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?

They’re good for each other. They make each other feel safe, she gets to eat proper meals, he has a space with her where he can just be without the constant vigilance and games that living within arasa/ka’s like…structure brings,,, I also just can’t imagine them with anybody else AHSKFJS Their eccentricities just meld together nicely but I think if they have a flaw it’s how much they actually love each other, or their loyalty to each other. I think it could be pretty easily exploited.

#they have to be as like. chaotically domestic as possible or they will die #the kerry one actually very funny bc he’s copywritten his face so u can’t get faceplates or anything that look like him #or u will get prosecuted to the full extent of whatever law is in place in ol’ NC #oc: verde #v x t #ocstuff #trying to dodge this appearing in any tags like i’m a burglar in a laser room #Anyway hope this makes sense. Wish u could just climb into my brain and see what i see bc ITS SOOO RICH

[semi-imaginary-place]

guess I'm on weekly release now. ep 40 that must have been the most confusing battle for megumi. getting his ass kicking planning to get hit just so he can get another hit in and then his opponent stabs himself through the head. i was not expecting this much characterization from jogo. like usually you can tell which characters are going to be important based on how "cool" the mangaka makes their visual design and jogo looks like a normal flunky but he has a fully fleshed out character. sukuna and jogo are having a naruto style heart to heart wtf.

ah i wanna watching gojo go feral again what ep was that... ep 33 huh was it that far back? guess this whole arc is more about the fallout of gojo being sealed. damn yeah who animated that cut with the arm. the animation for this series really is top notch all around but especially the fights, i think jjk has cemented it's place as best animated fights i in any anime i have ever seen. satoru-chan is so manically happy to be fighting. wow this episode feels so much longer than it actually is.

41: well at least sukuna is having fun. and he took an interest in megumi, this can't end well for megumi.

I wonder why the author made jujutsu high be 4 years. for even 1st years its essentially on job training with them already being put to work. I do wonder how much schooling they're actually getting. and then narratively at this point there aren't even 3rd years and when i checked the wiki 4th year characters dont exist. and then with nanami leaving, originally i thought he then went to college but he's a lot younger than i initially though and most office jobs want more than highschool. so does jjk give you a university degree at the end? i know japan has 4 year universities but do they do 2 year associate degrees? just an all round weird decision.

i started out curious why people were mad about the sukuna fight and now im reading the manga i guess

yuuji: I don't need purpose i'm going to be a cog in the machine

huh itadori is actually choso's brother. huh. but the whole thing with the cursed womb fetuses was that they were never born. i dont know what is going on here. and why didn't choso recognize the stitches earlier. if brain dude is swapping bodies then the genetic material like gametes should be changing or is the implication that yuuji is also made from cursed energy/weird human experimentation. ... panda's right yuji really is attracting older brothers.

*squints* is that kazakstan????? when did kazakstan become a world superpower???? idk if its the translation but im having trouble understanding. kenjaku changed people into being more suitable vessals and to give non sorcerers cursed techniques? because that's not what the text says. then was does the remote activation do? and why did he need mahito's technique? it wasn't garunteed he'd be able to absorb mahito. i cant make sense of this.

poor megumi just got dragged headfirst into clan politics.

does the culling game apply to all cursed technique users or just ones brain dude implanted?

145: instrumentality??????? instrumentality. -_-

maki's new design is goated, love the sleeves. i like her more i hope she pisses off more men. i also finally noticed that meimei isn't wearing a dress, it's a tricked out onsie. i love that design

152. suguru was too pure hearted. see you can totally get away with mass murder you just need to play the politics game.

alright my curiosity is sated. not like i was watching jjk for the plot anyways.

powered by children lol. madoka level harvest negative emotion energy as a renewable fuel source.

i think i get why people were saying the zenin clan is kinda incest-y

huh is gege trying to say gojo taught sukuna about love.

so sukuna just ate his own mumified corpse's head, im getting that right?

Saw someone compare gojo to achilles (so geto would be patroclus?) And im mad i didnt think of that first

#jjk #jjk spoilers

[vintagedolan]

cross country (gbd)

description: when you get stuck in california during quarantine with a dwindling lease at the dolan’s house, grayson wants nothing more than for you to get to new jersey with him

word count: 4.5k

warnings/tags: fluff, this is literally um the softest thing i’ve written???, quarantine/COVID, grayson spoiling Y/N, you get the picture hehe

feel free to send in requests! i’ll write most things! hope you enjoy, send me some feedback and I’ll give you my eternal love :)

You never wanted to lift another box in your whole life, that was for damn sure. There was sweat running down your forehead as you lifted the next one, carrying the cardboard all the way through the house into the living room, which was becoming a huge pile of everything that the twins had acquired over their years in LA. 

The plan was simple: the boys were going home to jersey to see their mom before the quarantine got too serious, and then they were coming right back because they needed to find a place in LA, seeing that their lease was ending. 

Well, needless to say, that plan had gone to absolute shit. And that meant you were thousands of miles away from Grayson, and had three days before you would be homeless. 

Lovely. 

The nice thing about it was that you didn’t have much time to mope - since the boys were still in jersey, all the packing was left up to you. And while you were efficient, it didn’t mean it wasn’t a lot of fucking work. 

You went back into Ethan’s room, getting another box of clothes. As you walked, your phone vibrated in the pocket on the side of your leggings. You knew who it was, but you waited until you got to the living room and sat the box down to answer it. 

A facetime from Grayson. That brightened your mood considerably. 

When you swiped over, you immediately relaxed a bit at the sight of his face. His hair was getting so long during quarantine, and it was pushed back with a headband he’d borrowed from his mom, no doubt. He was in a tshirt, which was different than the rest of the times he’d called you. Which was about ten times a day.

“Hey baby,” you smiled at him, catching your breath as you walked back to your shared room. As much as you wanted to sit down and relax and talk to your boyfriend, there wasn’t enough time for all that.  

“You look exhausted,” was the first thing he said. 

“Wow, thank you so much, love you too,” you teased. 

“You look beautiful, you know that’s not what I meant. I’m just saying that-”

“I’m kidding Gray. And before you start worrying for the hundredth time today, I’m fine,” you reminded him as you pulled out a dresser drawer you shared, beginning to transfer the clothes into yet another box. He watched you work with sad eyes, and you knew what was coming before he said it.

“I feel like shit that you’re doing all this work.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“But I do.”

“Would you do it for me? If you were stuck across the country in my house-”

“Our house,” he corrected. You couldn’t tell if he was referring to sharing with you or with Ethan, or both, but you kept going regardless.

“Okay, stuck in our house, and I needed to pack it all up, would you do it for me?”

He hesitated, and you knew he didn’t have a good response to that.

“That’s different,” was his only comeback, and you laughed a bit.

“Bullshit. You’re just mad because I’m gonna have to wear all your clothes cause none of mine will fit over my new muscles,” you joked, flexing your scrawny arms. You knew you looked dumb, but it got the laugh out of Grayson that you were hoping for, and that’s all that mattered.

“Right, you act like you don’t just wear my clothes all the time anyways. I’m not even sure you have any clothes of your own,” he teased, running a hand through his hair.

“Oh really? I could have sworn these were mine.” You dug around the drawer, finding a particularly nice pair of lace panties, holding them up to the screen. He groaned, falling out of screen for a moment. It took a second for you to realize he’d fallen back on the bed. 

“You don’t play fair,” he said once he moved his phone back to his face. “I miss you so fuckin’ much, you have no idea.” 

You were pretty sure you had an idea. This was now week four without seeing him in person, and it was actually awful. You’d known it would suck, but you didn’t think it would hurt to be away from him. And you were doing everything you both could - facetime dates, phone calls, texting, he’d even written a letter to you. But there was just something about being in his arms, hearing his laugh without the distortion of a phone speaker, waking up next to him; it couldn’t be replaced. 

Which meant you needed to mention your plan. 

“I wanna come to jersey,” you started.

“You know I would kill to have you here baby, you know that.”

“Grayson, the lease is ending. I think that counts as a reason for emergency travel. I mean, I’m technically gonna be homeless,” you reminded him. “And I know I can stay with Shane, or with Jeffree.” They had been nice enough to offer. Hell, Jeffree was letting the boys store everything at his house, even the cars. “But I wanna be with you.” 

“I don’t want you on a plane. You could get sick.”

“I won’t fly. I’ll take the van. I mean, that’s why you built it, isn’t it?” 

“Y/N...”

“I know, it seems crazy. But if I split it up into three days, I could do it. I’d be careful at gas stations, pack up enough food to last me. You know I can drive for forever, I could probably pull 15 hours or so a day, that would get me back pretty quick, and I’d be safe.”

“Safe,” he breathed, shaking his head. “Y/N, I was sketched out sleeping in that thing with two other grown men with me. The thought of you sleeping in there, alone in some parking lot...” he trailed off. “No. It’s too risky.”

“Gray-”

“Baby I want you here more than anything. Not knowing when I’m gonna see you again is actually killing me, but I’m not putting you at risk over that.”

“Okay, well, let’s compromise then. What would make you feel safer about it?” 

“You not doing it,” he said bluntly.

“Be serious babe.”

“You sleeping alone out there. I know you’d be fine with the driving, but I’m not okay with you sleeping in the van by yourself.”

“Okay...” you paused for a minute, trying to think of a solution. “Okay, what if I drove at night, and then I slept during the day? Less people on the roads, and I think we’d both feel safer if I was sleeping during the daylight. Would that work?” 

“That’s better. I still don’t love it. I’m not trying to be difficult, I just, I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he mumbled, picking at the fabric on his blanket.

“I know that baby, to be honest the thought of sleeping in there alone scares me a little bit too. But I’m willing to do it if it means I get to see you.” 

Grayson was silent for a while. You knew he was fighting with himself, and that he probably felt selfish for even considering giving in. But you also knew, deep down, you were going to do it no matter how much he protested. So you were glad when he finally conceded with a simple “I love you”. 

Now, with the realization that you were going to see him in just a few days, your motivation was renewed ten fold, and you got to work.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

night one

You would have thought it wouldn’t be hard to get to sleep after the day you’d had. 

You were wrong.

The furniture had been moved out - Jeffree had been nice enough to hire a few movers to come get the furniture and the cars. Now, the house lay empty besides your bags that would go with you in the van, and you couldn’t wait to get on the road. Correction; you couldn’t wait to get to Grayson. The thought of seeing him again gave you butterflies. 

Once everything was done and final, you drug a few of the cushions out of the bed in the van, bringing them into the air conditioning so you could try to snag a few hours of sleep. 

While you managed to get a bit of rest, it was mostly futile. The quicker you got on the road, the quicker you’d get to jersey.

So with that, you packed up the van with all the food and snacks you had, reassembled the bed, tossed your bag in and climbed in the drivers seat.

I’m leaving, see you so soon!!!!!! you sent to Grayson, not being able to contain your excitement. 

4pm is not a night drive... he responded quickly.

shut up im excited BE EXCITED

you know i’m excited. be careful, I’ll call you in a little while x

With that, you drove out of the driveway for the last time, with New Jersey in the GPS. 

And the drive wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Grayson called you around 7pm to check on you and keep you company. You ate the sandwich you’d made as the sun set, and you continued down the road. It was peaceful if you were honest, and the van drove so nicely - Grayson really had done a good job. 

Although he tried to stay up, Grayson’s snoring took over around 11pm (2am jersey time you reminded yourself), so you hung up and starting blasting some of your favorite tunes to keep you alert and awake. Not having any traffic was a bonus, and you were amazed with the progress you were making. By the time the sun came up, you were already in Colorado. You resorted to driving until around ten, which landed you about at the border of Nebraska after a whopping 18 hours. You pulled into a non-sketchy looking parking lot, relieved that you’d found one.

I’m stopping to sleep for a few hours. I love you!

You sent it and started rummaging around in your bag, finding your toothbrush, toothpaste and pajamas. You brushed your teeth outside using your water bottle, changing in the car and cuddling up in bed. The bedding smelled a bit like the boys, which was comforting. Just as you started the settle down, your phone rang, Grayson’s contact photo popping up. You swiped over to open it, happy to see his face. 

“Hey baby, I was just about to get some sleep actually,” you said. And now that you had laid down, you realized how tired you truly were.

“I know. I’ll mute my side so I don’t keep you up, but I’ll be here in case you need me,” he said casually.

“Grayson you don’t have to-”

“I want to. It’ll make me feel better, knowing someone is watching out for you while you’re asleep.” 

It was so sweet that you started to tear up, so you just buried your face in the pillow instead.

“I love you.”

“I love you too baby, get some sleep.”

And you did.

-------------------------------------------------------------

night two

You woke up around five, fully refreshed - other than feeling like you needed a shower. You stretched out before getting up and heading to brush your teeth. When you got back in the van you got changed into some of the clothes you brought, happy to have on something fresh.

“That’s my hoodie.” The male voice startled you and you squealed, covering yourself.

“Baby it’s just me! It’s me!” It took you a minute to realize that it was Grayson speaking to you from your phone, which also was pointed where he could see you.

“Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!” You huffed, pulling the fabric over your head.

“Sorry, I was just enjoying the show,” he blushed, smirking at you a bit. You rolled your eyes, but giggled with him as you climbed into the drivers seat once again, pulling out the dinner you had packed, deciding to eat a bit before getting back on the road. 

“I can’t wait to see you,” Grayson sighed. You looked at your screen closely and realized he was in his workshop.

“I’ll be there so soon. Now, go build some stuff, I’m all safe and awake now. I love you,” you smiled, knowing he would never be the first to hang up. 

“Okay baby. Drive safe, call me if you get bored.” 

“I will, love you!” 

And so you took off, heading through Nebraska. The states seemed to be getting quicker now as you passed through Iowa, then Illinois, and even Indiana. Grayson called, and even Ethan kept you company for a few hours on the drive, making it go by fast. By the time you got to Ohio, the sun was high in the sky and you realized you actually weren’t that far from jersey. Only another seven hours, and if you kept driving, it would put you at their house around 7pm. You thought about the cold brew that you’d stashed in the fridge in case you’d struggled through the nights.

You could use it, and you could make it. In all honesty, you weren’t even that tired as the excitement started to mount. 

But you also knew that Grayson would rather you just sleep, and that he was going to call you again. So, you had to hatch a plan. 

You pulled into a nice looking parking lot, prepared to set it into motion.

You changed into your pajama shirt, taking your hair out of it’s bun so it looked like you were getting ready to go to bed. Taking a deep breath, you facetimed Gray.

“Is it bedtime?” was how he answered, making you laugh. He was in the kitchen at home, making lunch you were sure.

“Yeah, I made some good progress! I should be getting in around 8am or so tomorrow morning,” you explained, hoping he couldn’t see through you. 

“I can’t wait. I’m gonna pamper you so hard for all the work you did, that’s a promise.” 

Your heart fluttered at his words.

“I can’t wait. But I’ve got sad news.”

He perked up at that, putting down the spatula he was using.

“My phone is kinda low on battery, so I don’t think we can facetime tonight. I don’t want it to be dead in the morning, and I can’t run the van,” you sighed, faking sadness. 

“Are you in a safe area?” 

“Yeah, I feel totally safe here. See, look.” You turned the phone around, showing him the lot you were in. 

He wasn’t happy about it you could tell, but he trusted you. And thinking about how excited he would be made you feel less bad about your white lie. 

“Well, okay. Just text me when you wake up okay? I love you.”

“Love you more!”

“Doubtful. Get some rest,” he smiled, hanging up. 

“Ha!” you exclaimed to yourself, smiling and fist pumping the air. Wow. You really were going crazy after being alone so long. You climbed in the driver’s seat again, pulling the cold brew out of the fridge and popping it open as you started to drive again. 

At first you were so excited that it felt like time was flying, but by the last few hours it was dragging by. The sun set, and the kiss of dusk was hanging over the trees as you got closer and closer. 

But when the GPS changed from hours to minutes, and the roads changed from interstates to back roads, you were fully awake once again. You’d actually managed to pull off almost 24 hours of straight driving. When you pulled into the driveway, there was a gate and armed security - the same ones that the boys had hired in LA.

“Hey guys, I’m early, I’m here to surprise Gray,” you explained. They were sweet like usual and happily let you through, closing the gate behind you. With some renewed energy, you stopped the van and brushed your teeth again - in all honesty, you felt disgusting and couldn’t wait for a shower, but the coffee breath was a definite no go. If you were going to kiss Grayson for the first time in a freakin month, you didn’t want to be worried about anything. 

Once you were back in the drivers seat, it was time for a little fun. 

You pulled your phone out, facetiming Grayson and driving super slow. He picked up quickly, concern on his face.

“Is something wrong?” was the first thing he asked.

“No, i’m okay. I started driving again cause I couldn’t sleep, but now I’m lost. My GPS took me onto some long ass gravel road, and now I’m surrounded by trees and I have no clue where I am,” you ranted, using every ounce of acting ability you had to not tip him off. 

“Slow down, hey it’s alright. Why don’t you just turn around and go back the way you came, and then we can figure it out.”

“I don’t know, I think theres a building or something up ahead of me, maybe a store? I could ask somebody for directions?”

“I’d rather you just go back. I don’t trust some random store at the end of some sus ass road. Just turn around baby,” he pleaded, getting a bit panicked. Luckily, you knew it wouldn’t last long because you were already in front of the house. You cut the lights on the van.

“Here, you tell me if it’s sus. What do you think?” You flipped the camera around, showing him the house. 

“I mean - wait. WAIT. WHAT? WHAT!? NO FUCKIN WAY,” he yelled, obviously freaking out. You laughed, hanging up the call and waiting for the inevitable. Sure enough, you’d barely gotten the driver door open when Grayson came barreling out of the front door. 

You couldn’t contain your excitement as you unbuckled your seatbelt and started to climb down. Grayson beat you to it, coming to the opening of the door and reaching up to pull you out of the car. You were laughing as he grabbed you, wrapping you up in his arms. 

“No fuckin way, no fuckin way that you’re actually here right now! What the fuck!” 

“Surprise!” 

“Did you drive all night? Or all day? I just... WHAT!?” He was truly speechless and it was the most adorable thing in the world. He leaned back slightly so he could look at you, eyes wide with amazement.

“Maybe,” you grinned, shrugging. 

“God I love you. C’mere.” His hands slid down to your hips, then around to your ass and you knew exactly what he wanted. You jumped and he caught you as your legs went around his waist, and then his lips were on yours.

It was like the best first kiss you could possibly imagine. You’d thought about kissing him constantly while you were apart, but you were realizing that it had done this no justice. His lips were soft and warm against yours, the taste of him familiar and wonderful. Your hair started to move in the wind and you realized that he was spinning the two of you around, his boots crunching on the gravel beneath you. You could feel the smile on his face as you kissed him, never wanting it to end.

“Ewwwww,” was the only thing that could have brought you out of it, and sure enough, it did. Ethan was on the porch, leaning against the pillars. Despite his words, he was grinning from ear to ear. 

“Hey E,” you smiled, laughing a bit at how you must look right now, waving at him while Grayson was still holding you up. 

“Go say hi, I’ll get your stuff,” Grayson smiled, kissing your temple and putting you down. You turned and jogged towards Ethan, who gave you the biggest bear hug, even spinning you around a little bit.

“Missed you squirt,” he teased, swaying back and forth a bit.

“Missed you too,” you grinned, squeezing him tightly.

“Thanks again for uh saving all our possessions and moving all our shit.”

“You’re very welcome. And you also have a shoe problem, just so you know,” you teased.

“I do not!” He exclaimed, putting you in a bit of a head lock and rustling your hair. You pushed against him but it was futile, and you were stuck until Grayson came back and saved you.

“C’mon, let’s go say hi to mom and get you to a nice bed,” he smiled, putting an arm around your shoulders and leading you inside. You’d only been to the house in Jersey a few times, and it was under renovation, so the finished product was a very welcome sight. It was all light walls and tables with dark finishes, cozy yet bright at the same time, even at night. 

Lisa came around the corner, lighting up when she noticed you were there.

“Y/N! Grayson told me you weren’t gonna be here until tomorrow!” She gave him a bit of a scolding look, which made you laugh.

“That’s on me Li, I got a little too impatient and decide to drive on through,” you explained, accepting the hug she gave you.

“Well you must be exhausted, you go on upstairs and get some rest, we can catch up tomorrow,” she assured you, giving  you another squeeze before letting you go.

You didn’t even try for the boys bedroom - you knew that Grayson had been sleeping in the laundry room. So you headed in that direction, Gray in tow with your duffle bag in hand. As you saw the coziness of the bed, every last bit of energy you had drained from you. The crash was coming, and it was coming soon.

“You ready to sleep?”

“As tempting as that sounds, I really need to shower, I feel disgusting,” you mumbled. Just twenty minutes, and you would be able to sleep. You could do that, for sure. 

“Okay, here I’ll get you a towel and stuff, you remember where it is?” 

“Yep, I’ll be there in a second.” 

You rummaged through your bag, finding your toiletries and some clothes. But when you saw Grayson’s stack of shirts, you couldn’t help but snag one. Everything you’d had at the house had lost it’s scent, and you couldn’t help but breathe it in for a second before heading to the bathroom.

When you got there, Grayson was laying out two towels, and already had his shirt off. You stared for a moment, taking it all in, but even with the view your eyelids were heavy. You were fading, fast, and you had the sudden realization that if you all tried to have reunion sex later, you would probably be so exhausted you wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. And you really wanted to enjoy it. 

“Gray,” you said, walking over to him.

“Did you find everything you needed? I’m sure mom has some extra stuff if you need it.”

“No I’m good, I have everything. It’s just-” 

He looked up then, cocking an eyebrow. It took him a minute, but when it clicked you saw him smile softly, coming over to you.

“It’s not about that. I just wanna take care of you, that’s all. I figured you’d be too tired,” he explained.

“I’m sorry baby.”

He just kissed you, hands finding the hem of your shirt and pulling it over your head.

“No apologies necessary. C’mon, let’s get you clean.” 

You both stripped down the rest of the way and he turned on the shower, which was huge. The tile was white and marble like, and the water pressure made you feel like you were in a spa as you brought your toiletries in. Grayson washed his hair quickly while you let the water run over you, and when he was done you felt his hands find your shoulders, rubbing at the knots he found with his thumbs. You relaxed back into his touch, closing your eyes and resting your back on his chest. 

“Let me get your hair,” he said, reaching behind him to get the shampoo. You didn’t have a care in the world as he worked the suds through your scalp, making sure to get every bit of it before he started to rinse it out. By the time he made it to washing your body you were practically melted, so lost in the relaxation that you weren’t even sure it was real.

“You’re humming,” Grayson teased, pressing a kiss to your shoulder after you were rinsed off.

“Am I?” You mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Let’s get you dry before you pass out on me.” You could hear the smile in his voice as he helped you out of the shower, wrapping you up in a towel and kissing your nose. “You should let me do this more often.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, his statement waking you up a bit as you started drying yourself off.

“Well, you are miss independent you know. Miss ‘I can pack up an entire house with nobody’s help’ and ‘I can drive across the country solo, no big deal.’ I like when you let me take care of you sometimes,” he mused, rubbing his towel over his body and hair quickly before pulling on his boxers.

“Does that mean I get a free ride to bed?” You teased, keeping it light hearted even though you were melting at his words.

“Not dripping wet you don’t,” he smiled, taking your towel and running it over your hair, making you giggle. You were sure it looked something like Albert Einstein when he pulled the fabric away, but he kissed you anyways, passing you a shirt, shorts and your undies. You put them all on quickly, your limbs heavy with fatigue.

“Alright, off to bed.” With that, he scooped you up bridal style, carrying you out the door, down the hall and into the laundry room. He sat you down gently on your feet for a moment, pulling the covers back and climbing in, immediately opening his arms for you. 

“I know you’re not tired,” you mumbled, crawling into bed and immediately resting your cheek on his chest. You put one leg over his, wrapping your arms around his bare chest as he pulled you closer to him, burying his face in your hair.

“Doesn’t matter. Not a place in the world I would rather be. Now sleep so I can spoil you like I had planned to tomorrow.”

If you’d had any energy left you would have questioned him, but instead you lulled off to sleep in his arms, more content than you could remember being in a long, long time. 

#:) #im living for the new jersey boys to be honest #lynds writes #grayson imagines #this one was lowkey fun #send me some requests and let me know what you thought of this one!!!!! #grayson dolan #dolan twin imagines #dolan twins imagines

[memelzebub]

[waddles by] pardon me vent post coming through...

formality and the ability to fake maturity don't mean shit when it comes to treating people you consider friends with respect and kindess 😑 if you don't want to cradle your ego tight while shedding tears and repeating to yourself (AND THE PEOPLE YOU HURT???) that you're a good person to get through the days, just try being nice?? I promise it feels really good to be nice to people and make them smile, and it feels really good to not force yourself to be around people you "project your insecurities" onto. 😑😑😑 oh but i guess it WOULD hurt you since you knee jerkingly say such hurtful things. I saw you were thrown for a loop when I unironically told you I already knew I was stupid when you just took a joke I made about myself and crushed the insecurity under your foot by saying "that's called being stupid" you better be getting your fucking mean habits in check, and I KNOW being around that entire family that is just so inconsiderate, imbalanced and downright emotionally abusive to eachother isnt gonna make that easy!!

I remember you telling Sam she'd be an ugly girl. Fuck you. I remember someone else never saw me and Sam as the genders we identified as! And she STILL DOES, I KNOW she still does! and you're staying friends with her despite being part of the LGBT club and all this other stuff like why did you even bring her back into this when we were leaving you because this is a whole other issue????? She doesnt believe in lesbians. SHE DOESNT BELIEVE LESBIANS EXIST SHE THINKS LESBIANS ARE DELUSIONAL AND DOESNT BELIEVE NONBINARY IS AN ACTUAL GENDER IDENTITY AND YOU THINK ITS OKAY TO LET US KNOW YOURE STAYING FRIENDS WITH HER WHEN YOURE TELLING US YOURE NOT TRANSPHOBIC ANYMORE IN THIS STUPID ASS GOOGLE DOC ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER A PERSON YOU ARE?? Remember when you said you were trying to "protect me" from her and all this shit about how she made homophobic jokes about dating me?? What the hell is wrong with you?????? You are not respectful to Sam and I!!! You treated me like I was this emotional soft boy and you treated Sam like she was this gross person who was "too fat" for you and you were ashamed of dating like why didn't you tell me you and her were dating in the beginning?? Why did I have to find out through context clues that you two were dating?? Why was Sam the only person I ever saw initiate pda with you?? Why did Sam tell me about this time you two were at the store and you made a scene that "made people think you were abusing her" MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU WERE ABUSING HER!!!!!!!

And why? Why did I ever think you were better than that? You "accepted" me, but not Sam! My fucking sister.

And why did you have to take my own emotional blockages and shortcomings so personally? You never truly understood or cared for what I was going through, huh? That's fine, not everyone is going to, and I know you have it rough, too. I lost nights of sleep worried about you and I wanted to be there for you so bad when shit hit the fan before. But I thought that, before shit started getting weird, that we were super close and I could trust you and you'd understand me. But you took the emotional distance I developed when highschool hit way too personally. And you never understood Sam who is my sister and just someone that I highly relate to emotionally and mentally. And now I have to undo that emotional distance somehow without sabotaging myself over these self villifying messages I told myself that I somehow happened to read word for word in these dms you had with someone else that you chose to snapshot and put in the stupid fucking google doc you shared with Sam and I!!!

You should know better than to tell someone to their face that they're like their parents. And you do know better which is the worst part, you just think you can do it anyway for whatever sick reason hiding under all that woke and inclusive language you picked up on over time. And you think it doesn't count because it's in a snapshot from a dm from a few years ago, well you snapshotting it and posting it for me to read in the present is essentially renewing the statement you fucking jerk. And I know I rubbed that other person "the wrong way." She really hated it when I criticized Bayonetta's oversexualized design one time, I'm certain I did other things that made her uncomfortable like be afab and be more interested in women and femme presenting people and also not shill idiotic white cis men that hide behind large words because theyre so obsessed with being right and sounding intelligent like she does. And it probably rubbed her the wrong way pretty hard when I dropped her for making me feel like she saw me as a delusional, brainless lesbian who only thinks they're a lesbian and will realise they like men just like She does in time. She made me feel like that when I was around her when I'm literally gnc nonbinary and pansexual. Like, I was guilty at first but it was because I couldn't accept I'd dropped her for a reason all my own, and it was always because she made me feel more and more dysphoric and unintelligent the more i interacted with her. Just like you did.

Ugh. Im so fucking mad and ashamed of myself.

#personal

[saladbarselectionmenu]

Horses are Tyrian cryptids

Halloween 2020 prompt 1: cryptids @tyrias-library

Listen this is technically late but I just wanted to write about horses as cryptids because it remains the funniest thing in the world to me that tyria is just, completely horseless and lets be real horses are absolutely terrifying when you actually think about them.

(X) this is the noise I was envisioning the horse to be making, for those of you who like me have never really heard a horse being mad, enjoy this new weird knowledge you have of exactly how freaky and reptilian they sound. I also understand better the idea of sounding “hoarse.”

if im hyperlinking this right you can read on Ao3 Here (X) Otherwise click to continue!

Evening on the ranch is quiet - with the skyscales fed and cared for the only sounds filtering through the kitchen were the soft clicks of a knife on a chopping board as Amadaria prepared dinner and the faint, nearly imperceptible hum of Emerics data pad. The gentle scene washed in the swaying golden light of sunset where it filtered through the trees.

“THERE’S A HORSE AT THE WATERFALL.” Cheza shrieks as she crashes through the door, her momentum nearly sending her head over heels and saving her from the knife that goes sailing out the open door around where her head was a moment before.

The kitchen pauses any previous activity save for Cheza panting furiously for breath, Amadaria quickly retracting her arm back down before clearing her throat, “A horse, Cheza?” The young sylvari bobbles her head, desperation and excitement beaming from her face and posture as she waves her arms erratically out the door, “It has to be! It looks like a centaur but it has no arms! Just a big, long face and these weird teeth!” she says, putting her hands up in front of her face, parallel to each other with wrists close to her mouth and fingers pointing outwards before wiggling them back and forth in what apparently approximate teeth to her? Amadaria wasn’t sure but knew better than to ask why exactly that meant teeth or it’d be several more hours before they got back to the possible horse sighting.

“Ah, I thought horses were extinct? Or so close to that they may as well have been, Are you sure you didn't see some kind of monstrous deer?” Emeric suggests gently, “we are after all in melandru’s domain, there are a few massive versions of animals here and horses haven't been sighted in hundreds of years at the least.” “No way! This thing didn’t look anything like a deer, not even like Hellal! It’s legs were way too thick, and it’s tail was this big, long thing! Like human hair instead of like a deer's cute little tail, and it’s hooves were wrong and so was it’s face! There’s no way it was anything but a horse,” Cheza paused then as a new idea visibly crossed her mind, hands fisting by her chest in excitement, her eyes and face literally lighting up like a lightbulb with her bright, white glow, “or maybe, a new species?!” “A horse would be more likely, it even sounds like you got a good look at it” Amadaria interrupts, deciding to put that idea to rest before it could take hold and leave the younger disappointed. Switching her attention to Emeric before continuing. “As you say this is the living section of Dragonfall and if there's anywhere a horse is going to be found it’s in the ruins of the human nature God domain.” she switches her attention back to Cheza then, raising the ridge of one ‘eyebrow’ “The real question is whether it was alive or not.” The youngest pauses, face scrunching as she recalls. Her glow dimming slightly as she thought, “I think so,” she says finally, “It wasn’t glowing or giving off that mist like the guardians here do, but sometimes I think things here get confused on whether they’re dead or not too.” Amadaria nods, clapping her hands together and drying them off on a towel, “Well then, sounds like we have a new sighting to find!” Chezas glow and expression flicks right back up to megawatt standards. ---

Crouched in the trees atop their skyscales, Cheza visibly vibrating with excitement atop her shimmerwing while Emeric clung to Amadarias back as if the slightest shift would send him plummeting to his death at the end of the maybe fifteen foot fall, Amadaria has to admit that Cheza does, in fact, seem to have found a horse. Something no one had managed in either the campaign against Kralkatorrik nor in the intervening near year of the island being studied and inhabited.

There at the edge of the waterfall pool, drinking from the water and paying absolutely zero attention to the three people crouched on dragons fifty feet away from it stood a truly bizarre looking creature.

Long, thick legs with chunky cowlike hooves stretched almost six feet leading into a body covered in short gleaming chestnut fur stretched over an almost ridiculous amount of muscle. Sure enough it’s tail was a swath of overlong but graceful hair, flicking back and forth lazily at nothing.

The horse’s strangest feature however had to be on the front. Amadaria was old enough for most of her visions of The Dream to have come and gone, leaving it a smear of memory in her mind slowly losing its clarity, with Ventari more of a memory imprint than properly remembered. She had, however, seen more than enough centaur in her waking life to find the lack of torso jutting from the creatures front to be particularly jarring.

Instead its wide neck arched down into an oblong head with pointed ears and the truly impressive but blunt teeth Cheza had tried to imitate in the kitchen. It’s eyes were wide, dark and shining. Much like a deer or a goat they popped bulbously out to either side of it’s head.

“Should we try and catch it?” Cheza hissed, the horses ear flicking in their direction before it went back to ignoring them.

“Maybe we should wait and see if it has a herd?” Emeric suggested, daring to lean forward to get an inches closer look.

“We might lose it. Go for catch and release and we’ll get a tracking tag on it. That way we can follow it’s movements too.” she tapped Emerics hands and shifted so he could let her go, a practised shuffle leaving him with the reigns in hands and Amadaria on the branches of the tree. A shimmer of light later her crystalline wings were half furled and ready for take off. 

“Herd it towards the roots and I'll see if I can get on it’s back for implanting the chip.”

The other two nod and launch, the horse suddenly paying attention as the two dragons sweep around the outer edges of the pond and cut off it’s escape. Emeric hovering low to the ground and stopping it retreating as Cheza sped in to herd it forward. The horse took off like a shot with a sound not unlike a raptor - sprinting head long at the tree but not without trying to force Cheza from the sky, rearing and swerving like it wanted to catch the skyscales wings in it’s teeth or under its hooves and wasn’t picky which.

Quicker than she would have thought the three are near enough to Amadaria for her to leap off onto it as it sprints past the roots of her tree, the creature coming to a sudden stop with a spray of water and leaping into the air as soon as her arms get around its neck. Bucking, writhing and rearing the creature does its absolute best to get her off and - if the way its eyes were rolling in fury were any indication - trample her to death under its hooves.

Thankfully the tracking gun is an easy application, Amadaria shimmies up it’s back and snags the ear in the pincers of the gun, a quick button later and the horse is tagged with the small blinking light that indicates an active tracking signal. The horse lets out another growl like snort at deafening volume and slams itself onto all fours, getting ready to buck. Using it to her advantage Amadaria uses the extra force to boost herself into the air just a bit higher than a normal take off would allow and soars up out of the furious creatures reach. The animal stomped and reared at her where she hovered a good forty feet above it, giving off one last truly atrocious noise before galloping off as Cheza and Emeric circled back around to meet her on the ground.

Her feet thumping down on landing nearly cover up the sound of her heart in her ears, exhilaration racing through her veins as Amadaria meets the others excited grins with a buoyant beam of her own, “I think we can call that a success!” she laughed.

Cheza cheered as Emeric beamed his own proud smile down at Amadaria. “How does it feel to be the first person to ride a horse in the last few hundred years?” he asked. Another giddy laugh bubbled out of her, unstoppable in her mirth, “Probably about as good as it feels to be the first to see one! I can’t wait to see the looks the other Priory members will have when they hear about this!” She grins up at Cheza, “You have first sight so you get final say on the name of the paper, any thoughts?” Two weeks later the first chapter of “The Shrieking Menace - an account of the rediscovery of horses by Cheza, Amadaria and Emeric” rolls out to datapads across the continent, resulting in renewed clamour for research opportunities on the island and a spike of funding from quite a few human nobles.

#gw2 #halloween 2020 #@tyrias-library #cryptids prompt #writing #amayas writing #writing practice #fjeiowfjo stop being so nervous and hit post #let me know if you see any mistakes #concrit welcome #its late but somedays youre just feeling more creative than others

[herbgerblin]

Honestly,,, cliche but I wish you would write a blupjeans high school au. You're really good at writing modern aus in general and Im always eager to read how you fit everyone together in different scenerios.

*Points and yells* that’s the shit I’m talking about! This is a long boi, so apologies to folks on mobile if the read more doesn’t work! I liked it so much i gave it a title.

–

The Rewards of Being Loved

“I’m gonna do it,” Barry said, with renewed conviction. “I’m gonna ask her out.”

“Uh huh,” Taako mumbled, using his textbook for a pillow. They were in Advanced Calculus, their first class of the day. The school was set up in a block schedule, so there were three more to go, plus lunch. Taako sat up and stood his text book up on his own desk. “That’s what you said yesterday.”

“I mean it,” Barry said. He tapped his pencil on his desk impatiently. “The homecoming dance is next Friday.”

“I’m painfully aware,” Taako said, taking out his phone and texting, eyes flickering up to make sure no one was noticing. “You got a plan of action, my dude?”

“Lunch. Senior court yard. If I time it right, it won’t be as crowded and the two of us can just talk.”

“If you can actually do the talking part,” Taako mumbled.

“Your enthusiasm is really encouraging, Taako,” Barry said sarcastically.

“You’ve had my blessing to date my sister for three years, Barold,” Taako shot back. “Don’t be surprised if the support well is running a bit dry.” Barry sighed. This pining had been going on for quite a while now. It was driving him a bit mad at this point. He knew he had to do something before the school year was up. Anything would do.

As soon as the bell rang, he shot up from his desk, nearly spilling his backpack and all its contents to the floor. His face went beet red as he scrambled to grab at the stuff, Taako snickering beside him. There was just one more class to go, and then he was gonna ask her.

–

“I’m gonna ask him,” Lup mumbled, her head laid down on the table. “I mean it this time.”

“Yep,” Taako said, putting his his books away. He had his phone in his hand, texting someone. “That’s what you said yesterday.”

The bell rang, and the twins were preparing to leave the library, Usually they’d be in elective course, but they had so far out classed most of them that the school had given them the option to do intermediary studies in the library. Lup forced herself to sit up.

“The dance is NEXT FRIDAY, Ko!” She whined.

“Oh really?” Taako asked, with mock innocence. “I would’ve never have known if it wasn’t for your fuckin’ yearning 24/7.”

Lup elbowed his arm, and then yawned. She had stayed up later than usual to finish a project for chemistry the night before. Between the thoughts she had about Barry—of which there were a lot—there were also thoughts of going home and conking the fuck out. She just hoped she would be able to handle the former before getting to the latter.

“I’m so tired,” She said, putting her chin on her brother’s shoulder. He shifted under her unexpected weight. “Ko, be my wingman when I talk to Barold so I don’t say anything stupid.”

“Why don’t you go hang out in the senior courtyard,” Taako suggested. He gently pushed her off. “The sun might wake you up a bit. Better than staying indoors and passing out on your lunch tray.”

“Hmmm,” Lup said, standing up. “Not a bad idea, I guess.”

“Cha-boy’s got nothing but good ones,” Taako said, waving her away. “Now go, your Romeo awaits.”

–

“Hey!” Barry said, lunch tray in hand. He spotted Lup in the courtyard, already sitting in a secluded little spot under a wooden alcove. Thick green vines peaked through the open wood sidings. As soon as he drew closer, his breath shallowed and his heart quicken.

Lup looked up at him from the picnic table she was seated at. Her tray was before her, barely touched. Both of her elbows were propped on the table, her hands were bracing her head.

“Hey, ” she said, a bit softly. Her eyes fluttered and remained half opened, as if she were still in a morning haze. The wind blew through the vines and Barry noticed the smattering of light through the leaves dancing across her goldenly tanned, freckled skin.

“I-is this seat occupied?” he stammered. Oh this was far more difficult than he thought.

“Yep!” Lup said, managing a grin. “It’s for one Barold J. Bluejeans. You wouldn’t happen to know the guy, wouldja?”

“Oh, I think I might hazard a guess,” he replied. Lup scooted over and let him sit down beside her. He smiled, and there appeared the cute, familiar dimples on the sides of his face. Lup was filled with the urge to poke them—she had, on a few occasions. But usually when there were fewer people around, and usually then it was followed up with a well-worn, “Nerd.”

“Hey Barry, I hate to ask but,” she started, then shrugged. “Mind if I rest my head on your shoulder a bit? I had to stay up pretty late to get my homework submitted on time, and I’m tired as fuck.”

“Oh,” Barry said, shifting in his seat. “Go ahead, I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure it’s not weird?” Lup asked, already leaning forward. Barry wasn’t sure why she had to ask. The other day she threw her legs across his lap like it was nothing. He could hardly form a thought then. This seemed far less imposing.

“Go ahead,” He said. “We have plenty of time for you to take a quick nap. I’ll wake you when the bell rings.”

Lup nodded gratefully and rested her head on his shoulder. All at once, Barry was acutely aware that she smelled like nutmeg. The curls of her thick hair tickled his skin but he didn’t move. He shifted his arm to support her back, and true to her word, she seemed to go out like a light. They sat like that for a while, with nothing but the sound of the wind rustling the leaves, and her slow, gentle breathing.

It was so…weird. How they could shift from awkward to comfortable like they did. Every moment Barry considered asking Lup out, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. But then when he didn’t try, when he wasn’t acting like he wanted to say anything, he could be as relaxed with her as he was with anyone else. It was so strange.

It almost made him believe that maybe they should just stay friends.

As Lup fell asleep, she was quietly kicking herself for not saying what she wanted to say right then.

Maybe she was chill with the fact that they had been friends all four years of highschool. And maybe she writes in her diary of all the cute little things he does. That she’s grateful that he cheers her on at all her sporting events. That they were part of a robotics club together. That he gives her rides home if she was stuck late at school doing something for chemistry. That he watches awful, B rated horror movies with her on Saturdays, and then pretends that he wasn’t just a little afraid of them. That he eats ice cream with the conviction of a man who has faced God and walked backwards into Hell. That she teases him incessantly, but she would never, for the life of her, change anything about him.

That maybe she loves him?

She thought about all this as she fell asleep.

Magnus came barging into the courtyard with Carey. They were chatting about how they could possibly use their combined skills to get better at dodgeball. As soon as Magnus saw Lup and Barry, he waved at them.

Barry put up a finger to his lips to signal for them to be quiet. Magnus and Carey lowered their voices. Magnus pointed to Barry, then he pointed to the still sleeping Lup, then he made a heart symbol with his hands and tilted his head like he was asking a question.

Barry—very slightly, so as not to disturbed her—shook his head no. Magnus looked visibly disappointed and threw his hands up into the air. Barry rolled his eyes. Magnus and Carey ambled over to the other side of the courtyard, where Taako and Merle where already talking. Barry sighed with relief.

After what felt like too short a time, the bell rang. Lunch was over.

Barry, very gently, pressed his hand on Lup’s shoulder to wake her. She made a soft sound, somewhere between a hum and a chirp, one that he wasn’t familiar with.

“First bell,” he said. “Time to go.”

“Mmm,” Lup agreed, sitting up and stretching. Barry felt the breeze on his body where she hand been leaning against him. It felt lighter, but emptier. She looked at him and smiled drowsily. “You’re a good pillow, Barold. You know that?”

He smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “Hey, if you ever need another shoulder to lean on, I’m your guy.”

“Done. You’re locked in as my human pillow,” Lup declares, grabbing her tray. She grinned devilishly. “No backsies.”

Barry chuckled. “No backsies.”

As they both got to their feet, their gazes locked into each others. Lup towered over him by a few inches, her beautiful hair swirling around her head like a halo. He almost lost his breath looking up at her.

“Hey, uh, Lup?” he said, his voice going suddenly dry.

“Yeah, Barold?” she asked.

“Got any, um, plans for homecoming?”

Now was her chance! Lup started to reply but her voice caught in her throat, like it always did when she wanted to ask him something, to say anything! She knew on some level that if she asked, he would probably say yes to her. Rarely did their shenanigans start with her asking permission. Usually it was a, “We’re doing this!”  and his agreeing immediately. But this was different. Maybe he’d be busy, or maybe it’s not his thing.

She wanted so badly to ask him, to know.

“Not really,” She managed to say. “Taako and I considered going to a couple of the school events, but I don’t really have any big plans. Per se.”

“Oh?” Barry said, feeling very warm and very anxious and maybe a little dizzy. “So, um, you…uh?”

The bell rang again.

“Class!” Lup exclaimed. She grabbed at Barry’s arm, practically dragging him with her out of the courtyard. “We’re gonna be late for class!”

“Yeah,” Barry said. He felt ready to jump off a cliff, or maybe into a river. Perhaps both.

–

“I failed,” Barry said, as soon as he saw Taako near his locker.

“No shit, Barold.” Taako said, giving him a pat on the back anyway. Barry leaned his head against the metal door with a groan. There were two more classes left, and then a whole day of sulking left to do.

–

“I failed,” Lup said, as soon as she saw Taako near the Home Ec classroom. It was the last block of the day. She walked up to him and leaned on his back.

“No shit, Lulu,” Taako said. “You two are the worst fuckin train wrecks I’ve ever dealt with in my young life. I knew I was here for a good time, but the long time was still in the purview.”

Lup pouted. “Can’t we just go as a group, like last year?”

“NOPE,” Taako exclaimed. “There was no group last year, Lulu. There was you and Barold making stupid, goo goo eyes at each other, but not doing anything. And me sitting at a table between the two of you in my own, special, third-wheeling hell. I’m not doing that shit this year.” He pointed across the hallway. “Besides, cha’boy’s already got a date.”

Lup’s head whipped around, eyes following where her brother pointed. Across the hall was another boy, about their age. He was standing outside of the music room, talking to Johann. He was dressed in all black, holding sheet music tucked under his arm. His dark, dreaded hair was pulled back into a loose bun. He was definitely a handsome boy, but he also stuck out like a sore thumb.

“Okay, ‘Quoth the Raven’ boy aside,” Lup said. “When did you get a date?”

“Cha boy’s got admirers, Lup.” Taako said, preening just a little. He waved his phone in his hand. “Just sealed the deal earlier today while you and Barold were dancing around each other. Though it seems like you’re not going to be doing much actual dancing at this rate.”

“Shut uuup!” Lup whined. She started marching away from him. “I’m staying after school today, don’t wait up, dingus.”

“You do you, goofus!” Taako called back.

As Lup walked to her last class, she was suddenly filled with fury. She was done waiting, done being nervous and unsure. She spent the whole class period feeling like she might spontaneously combust.

–

“Hey Nerd!” Lup yelled from the door of the bio lab. It was after school hours, but some of the students were staying behind for personal research. Every individual looked up reflexively, Barry included. Lup pointed at him.

“No, that nerd specifically,” she said. “I’m going to steal him away now. The rest of you go about your day.”

“Yeah, Lup?” Barry asked, surprised to see her after school. She motioned for him to follow her out into the hallway. He took off his gloves and lab coat, then cleaned up his station. He grabbed his bag and headed out the door.

“I thought you were tired?” he said, though it wasn’t really a question. They both walked toward the front entrance.

“I wanted to chat a little more before I left,” Lup replied. There was a pause, and then she asked, “Hey, Barry?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you dislike it when I call you a nerd?” Barry looked at her, his brows knitting with befuddlement. She looked back at him, nervousness quirked slightly on her face. He tried to alleviate whatever she was feeling with a casual shrug.

“No, I think it’s fine,” he said. “I am a nerd. This is why we have classifications, Lup.”

She laughed, and playfully nudged his arm. As soon as they got to his old car and buckled up, she leaned over and put her head on his shoulder. He smiled, seeing that she really did intend to use him as a pillow from now on. 

That’s perfectly fine by me, he thought.

Before he revved up the engine, he said, “I think there might be cause for confusion, though—” Lup turned just enough to look up at him. “—When I’m around fellow nerds. We’re pack animals Lup, if you call for one, everyone looks up.” Lup laughed again, softly.

“Right,” she replied. “We’re going to need something to distinguish you. Ya know, aside from just Barold.” She shifted in her seat and slung one arm over the back of the chair. “I’m the one who calls you a nerd the most. What if I said, ‘my nerd?’”

Barry beamed. “I’d be fine with that.”

“Really?” Lup asked, her lips threatening to twitch upwards. “If I was possessive?”

He grinned, and those familiar, wonderful dimples that carved out his face reappeared. “I’d best damn nerd this side of the hemisphere…If I’m yours Lup.”

The smile that fell on Lup’s face, it was–oh, it was irreplaceable.

She leaned forward, and Barry leaned forward just as gently. They were shoulder to shoulder, so it wasn’t that far of a distance for their lips to meet. They pressed into a soft, chaste kiss. Which was immediately followed by one that was deeper, and less tentative. Barry’s brain flooded with lots of different thoughts, but slowly fell on dancing. And what it meant to to dance with someone you adored.

“Four,” Lup murmured, pulling away just enough to speak, but not so far that she couldn’t plant another kiss on his cheek.

“Four?” Barry asked, surprised by how breathless he sounded. He felt ridiculously warm around his collar. Lup wrapped her arms around his shoulders, which only made him feel warmer.

“Four years, Barold!” she exclaimed. “Four years of kisses you owe me!”

“Oh!” he said, surprised. He felt like he was floating on air. “Could I…cash part of that in with a date to the dance?”

Lup beamed. “Hell yeah, you can!”

#I heard y'all like teen romances??? #askherbgerb #my writing #blupjeans #herbgerb fic

[queenofcats17]

Okay I had an angsty prompt idea this time! Okay what if Sammy and Wally went back to the Lost One Village with Henry, and Annette managed to find it with Boris (because he’d probably be worried about Henry too and decided he should go with Annette just in case, to keep her safe.) and then since Henry is probably back under the ink’s control he will probably try to attack her, Sammy and Wally try to stop him? I just love the angsty stories! You’re so good at writing them, and the other stories!

Sorry this took so long.

After Bendy left, Boris went to go check on Annette. She was laying in his hammock, curled up in a little ball.

“Annette? You alright?” Boris asked.

“No.”

Boris sighed, sitting down on the cot nearby. Annette didn’t turn toward him, curling in on herself even more.

“I’m sorry.” He said.  

“You did the best you could.” Her voice was flat, betraying no emotion. Boris’ ears drooped. He hated it when people were mad at him. It was part of the reason he avoided Joey. Nothing any of the toons did was ever good enough for Joey. Nothing was good enough for him.

“We need to get you out of here,” Boris said. “It’s not safe for you to stay.” Annette didn’t say anything for a moment or two. Then she rolled over to face him. She looked so tired.

“Are you sure there’s no way to help Henry?” She asked quietly. Boris hunched his shoulders, beginning to wring his hands.

“No one’s ever been cured after becoming an ink creature.” He replied. “They can eventually get their minds back, but that takes a lotta time and I don’t think Joey’s gonna let him go now that he’s got him.” Annette had a lot of names she wanted to call Joey, but she was certain Boris wouldn’t be comfortable with most of them. So she bit her lip to stop herself from screaming.

“I hate him.” She said, sitting up. “I hate Joey.” Her hands gripped the fabric of the hammock so tightly that her knuckles were turning white.

“He’s…Not a good person.” Boris nodded. His head was bowed, eyes staring down at his hands. He was rocking back and forth a little, hands fidgeting.

“What did we do wrong?” He whispered, his lip starting to quiver.

“What do you mean?” Immediately, Annette was worried. Boris had been a pillar of support for the entire time she’d been there, but she knew he was battling his own demons. Now, it seemed, his emotions were overflowing.

“We had to have done something wrong.” He started rocking faster, hands going down to tap frantically on his thighs. “We should have been enough. He wanted us to live. He didn’t need to do everything else. What did we do wrong? Why did he do all of this?” Big black inky tears began to run down his cheeks.

“Boris…” Annette slipped out of the hammock to sit down beside him, putting an arm around his shoulder. “You can’t hold yourself responsible for what Joey’s done. You and Bendy are doing the best you can. You’re the only reason I’m still here.”

“I should’ve done more to save Henry!” Boris sobbed. “I could’ve saved him!”

“Don’t say that.” Annette pulled him closer, stroking his fur. “If I’m not allowed to beat myself up about it, neither are you, alright?”

“But-”

“No buts.” She cut him off before he could protest. “We’re both doing the best we can. You’ve kept me safe this long. Give yourself some credit for that.” Boris continued to sniffle, but this seemed to have calmed him a bit.

“Thanks.” He said, smiling slightly. Annette smiled back. She hesitated for a moment. If she wanted…She could ask to see Henry. Boris was in an emotionally vulnerable state. She could take advantage of that. She shook her head quickly. What was she thinking?! What a monstrous thing to do!

“Are you alright?” Boris asked. He looked better now.

“I’m fine.” She forced a smile and nodded. “I just…I know it’s dangerous, but I want to see Henry.” Boris opened his mouth, likely to tell her the perils, but she stopped him. “I know he’ll probably try to infect me. I know he’s not the same anymore. I know he’s basically Joey’s puppet. But…He’s my friend.” She didn’t want to just abandon him. Henry was the kind of person who always pretended he was fine when he wasn’t, who tried to do everything on his own. She didn’t want him to go through this by himself too. Boris whimpered quietly, his ears drooping again.

“I’m sorry.” She squeezed his hand. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“Nah, it’s alright.” Boris tried to reassure her. “Maybe…Maybe you could see him. Just for a little.”

“You really mean it?” Annette perked up.

“I mean, it’d be good to check on him,” Boris said. He was pretty worried about Henry too if he was being honest. And if Annette was going to see Henry, it would be better for Boris to be there with her, to keep her safe.

“Then let’s go!” Annette hopped up, her energy renewed.

“Sure.” Boris got up as well, although he was unable to shake the feeling that this was going to be a mistake.

.

Sammy, Wally, Bendy, and Henry had returned to the Lost One Village by this point. Wally wanted to say a proper hello to the Lost Ones and Sammy had never actually finished checking on them. Not to mention Bendy wanted to “grace his adoring followers with his presence”.

“You’re not letting this ‘god’ thing go to your head.” Wally snickered. “Nope. Not at all.”

“You’re just jealous,” Bendy said, batting his eyelashes. An impressive feat given he didn’t actually have any eyelashes. Henry made some happy noises and hugged Bendy. As soon as they’d left Sammy’s sanctuary, he’d returned to being nothing more than a Searcher. This, of course, bothered Bendy a lot. But he didn’t want to dwell on that. Henry was still there, wasn’t he? He hadn’t lost him yet.

“Play nice, you two,” Sammy warned them as they exited the ink near the village.

“We are being nice,” Wally said. “You’ve seen me be nasty. That was not nasty.”

“Eh, give ‘im a break.” Bendy waved his hand dismissively. “It’s his job to be a stick in the mud dad.”

“I am not a stick in the mud!” If Sammy could have blushed, he would have been blushing at that moment. Wally and Bendy just laughed, darting ahead of him. Sammy sighed heavily, looking down at Henry.

“Do you see what I have to deal with?”

Henry offered no reply, just smiling up at Sammy dumbly. Sammy felt a tug at his heart. It wasn’t Henry. It may have looked like Henry, but it wasn’t Henry. He turned away, starting towards the village. Suddenly, though, a yell echoed through the cavern. Sammy picked up his pace, running into the central area of the village. There, standing by the dock, were Annette and Boris. A group of Lost Ones had gathered by their homes, all looking nervous. Bendy looked absolutely terrified, and even Wally seemed upset.

“I just want to see him,” Annette said, also clearly upset.

“He might hurt you!” Bendy said. “Bo! You know how dangerous it is! Why did you bring her?!”

“I-I thought it would be safer if I came too,” Boris said, ears flat against his head. “She was so upset. And- And I was worried too.”

“Boris, you gotta get her outta here,” Wally said. “Henry’s gonna be here soon-”

“Just let me see him, please,” Annette begged. That was when Sammy and Henry rounded the corner. For a moment, time seemed to stand still. Annette and Henry locked eyes. Relief washed over Annette at seeing Henry. But Henry didn’t seem happy to see her. Immediately, he changed. His happy-go-lucky demeanor was gone, replaced by the manner of a feral Searcher. 

“Henry, no!” Sammy tried to grab him, but Henry darted away before he could be subdued. He was headed straight for Annette, screaming at the top of his lungs. Annette’s eyes widened and she took a step back. Thankfully, Boris got between her and Henry, and Bendy and Wally managed to pin Henry down. 

“Go! Leave!” Wally yelled. The Lost Ones quickly jumped into action. starting to usher Boris and Annette away while keeping an eye on Henry. Annette said nothing. She was too stunned to do anything other than make her legs move. Boris put an arm around her, holding her close. It looked like he was going to have some more comforting to do. Guilt was weighing heavily on him. He’d agreed to take Annette to see Henry. He’d allowed her to be put in danger. He was a terrible person.

Meanwhile, Wally and Bendy were still holding Henry down. Henry kept fighting and screaming until Annette was no longer within his sight. Once she was gone, he immediately calmed down. He didn’t struggle any longer, instead turning to look at Bendy and Wally curiously, as if he wondered if they were playing a game. Bendy was on the verge of tears once more. He got off of Henry, hugging his knees and starting to sob. Sammy knelt beside him, enfolding Bendy in a hug. 

“It’s alright.” He whispered, patting Bendy’s back. 

“No, it’s not!” Bendy wailed, burying his face in Sammy’s chest. Wally got off Henry as well, just staring at the Searcher that had once been Henry. Normally, he’d try to lighten the mood. But he wasn’t feeling all that cheerful at the moment. He just sat there, watching Henry and listening to Bendy cry. Where were they going to go from here?

#bendy and the ink machine #batim saudade au #fanfiction #henry #boris the wolf #annette martineau #bendy the dancing demon #wally franks #sammy lawrence #the lost ones

[softtm]

Boyfriend! Doyoung

so like there’s an old version already but I’m in my Doyoung feels

listen here, your first meeting with Doyoung was a amusing one but definitely not the ideal one

you and Doyoung went to highschool together and like oof, you’re not on the best terms considering he’s the library assistant and you tend to have forget to return/renew your books

and Doyoung is always hunting your ass down because he feels obligated to

the first time he did it you threw an apple at him because he scared the fuck out of you

“HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK MY DUDE”

“LISTEN, YOU’VE HAD THE BOOK FOR 2 MONTHS AND I REALLY NEED THAT SHIT”

“oh yeah, here ya go bud”

you were actually pretty chill about it but he wasn’t

Kim Doyoung hated you when you first met each other

probably for your solid sophomore year too

then junior year came around and Doyoung still had to hunt your ass down but you now were on friendlier terms

like you give him gummies everytime he storms in to collect the books because he needs to calm his ass down

so yeah

eventually y’all have some classes together and you sit next to each other and talk eventually becoming better friends who are still bitter to each other

boy ended up realizing he liked you the one time you came and returned your book on time and he was disappointed

like damn I don’t have to hunt them down this week :(

you realized it after he threw an apple at your for revenge

but like it actually hit you and ouch, Doyoung started babying your for like the hour and your heart kinda went BBOOM BBOOM

you guys didn’t really confess to each other until the end of junior year cus y’all are shy shy shy

either of you were planning to confess anyways but it kinda just happened I guess

like Doyoung was scolding you one day for not returning your library book on the last week of school and you kinda just kissed him to shut him up

it worked

‘I-‘

‘just shut up for once Doyoung’

‘will I get another kiss if I do’

‘bYe’

now onto actual boyfriend!doyoung

mom ™

will nag you for days if you don’t eat or if you forget to do anything really

forgot your binder?

nags you but still gives you the spare notebook he has in his bag that he especially brings for your forgetful ass

you didn’t eat yet?

nags you but pulls out a McDonald’s bag to give to you to eat because he knew you hadn’t eaten yet and drove to get you some in his free period

didn’t get enough sleep?

nags you but will sing you to sleep right after and cuddle with you until you do fall asleep but then leaves your ass to get some work done

whatta man

BACKHUGS FOR DAYS

like there is no day that goes by without you getting a back hug from him because this boy is just so soft for you istg

he’ll just kinda wrap his arms around you loosely and then rest his head on your shoulder or head depending on your height

‘Doyoung, what are you doing?’

‘showing my love and affection’

‘but why’

‘because I can, don’t question me’

never admits it but is so whipped for you like you don’t even know bro

even tho you two are like in love and whatever, will not hesitate to expose your ass

more of a savage to you then anyone else but you roast him back and all of a sudden it’s a roast session

but y’all make up because sometime by the end of the roast session he’s just like

‘oh yeah, your forgetful ass is the one that has my nagging ass heart so we’re both losers’

it usually goes silent for a sec and then you two laugh and he pulls you in for a hug and oof im soft

night dates with Doyoung are very a e s t h t i c

lol jk, y’all go raid the convenience store and eat ramen while talking shit about people

then he does the stereotypical kdrama scenario where he wipes the corner of your mouth for you and you’re all red like

‘WE’RE IN PUBLIC KIM DOYOUNG, I CAN’T HAVE A BREAKDOWN OVER HOW CUTE YOY ARE HERE’

he laughs and ruffles your hair and you’re just melting

like when did he get so soft, weren’t you guys just roasting Taeyong and his green hair

if you’re really tired, he’ll piggyback you back to your place in exchange for kisses because he was the one that dragged you there in the first place

it’s okay tho, he would have gotten those kisses for free

STORYTIME

so do y’all remember that one story about how Doyoung told his friends that he was going aboard to study but was really at SM the whole time?

yeah that boy tried to pull that on you and things did not go well

you didn’t even find out from him but from his friends who accidentally spilled the beans before he could

and so you did the normal thing

be petty about it and literally ignore him for the next two days because you can’t believe he didn’t tell you first

and if you saw him you were pretty sure you were gonna cry and crying was not on your current to-do list rn

Doyoung over here so confused and hurt cus like wtf dude

but Doyoung is smart so he eventually figured out that you got told before he could tell you and was like “today I fucked up”

eventually he did corner you after school one day since you stayed after for some school shit

you give him a resting bitch face

he gives you one back

it’s like a deadly resting bitch face stare off before he sighs and pulls you into a hug because damn, you’ve been ignoring him for too long

you’re s h o o k because Doyoung never loses a resting bitch face stare off until now

cue soft Doyoung

‘I miss you’

you’re still like ‘no way jose, I’m still mad at you’

Doyoung sighs and is like oof I should probably tell the truth rn

so he explains and you’re stuck between “HOLY SHIT IM SO PROUD” or “Imma cut this bitch”

and honestly you’re so stressed from this situation because you thought y’all were actually gonna break up and like oof there’s only so much someone can take

you end up crying

Doyoung probably ends up panicking

everyone is a whole mess

somehow you end up picking up some pizza and ice cream and going back to someone’s house to cuddle and makeup

somewhere along the line y’all have a last minute sleepover and you make Doyoung sing you to sleep for lying

he does it very happily bc he really loves you and is really really glad you didn’t break up with him

yeah

bYe ™

#kim doyoung #nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct 2018 #nct scenarios #nct imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #doyoung scenarios #doyoung imagines #boyfriend!au #nct fluff #nct au #kpop au #kim dongyoung

[crybabybyee]

it’s been a rough few days.

on saturday i found out my grandad died...

he died whilst he was in the bathroom, suspected heart attack. im just so so sad to think of him dying alone like that. and sad that my sister had to go identify his body.

it hasnt really hit me yet. when i found out i cried, but since then i just feel weird...sad...but i guess until i actually ‘see’ that hes dead ie at the funeral, its hard to think its really real...

i just feel so guilty. i wish i was closer to him, but we barely had a relationship, he didnt speak to me much because he couldnt hear me as he was deaf (he was 90) and would always look at my sister to translate. always called my sister but not me, i guess because he knew i was autistic and i had heard him say “its a shame” in a sad way about me before. but still i wished we were closer. when we were kids he barely spoke because my nan did all the talking, and when she died he opened up a bit because he was lonely. they also lived far away, so i barely saw them...

my sister basically helped him sort out appointments and things and carers but she hardly saw him either, so she feels guilty. my dad had nothing to do with him as they had a major falling out. he is probably feeling guilty too but i understand why

i cant stop thinking about it all obviously and just feel so sad for him, but i also knew deep down this is how he would die. i just hope he is with nan now, he wasnt happy being left without her and had said “if i make it to 90 ill be fine to pass over”...its weird how things like that always come true

so the weekend passed. 

yesterday was valentines day and guess what? i heard NOTHING from my ex who is sooo in love with me. no gifts, nothing. fuck him. im pretty sure he knows about my grandad too because my mum mentioned it to his dad.

i was feeling really ungrounded obviously and just wanted him to contact me?? but hes also proved that he doesnt know ANY of my other social medias nor spares a thought to even email me??? because he is blocked everywhere else. im just shocked at him honestly. he must have really thought he has shown me.

all hes shown me is he would actually be an even more useless boyfriend, making minimum effort now, but wants me to forgive him, forget the past, change my behaviours AND, believe that hes changed

yeah fucking right mate

no doubt he was chatting up endless girls yesterday feeling sorry for himself, boohoo im alone on valentines i must find one immediately. like if what he said is true to me why the FUCK would he not send me a card, gift, even a message??? wtf???

i missed him as well. i missed him yesterday even though i was growing more mad by the minute. and now that yesterday has passed i just feel pure resentment, huge ICK feeling, and that i need to make some changes to myself yet again.

today i felt more grounded...maybe it was the heavy rain making me wet and tired and reminding me im a human thats alive. i didnt feel the need to really check my phone much, because trust me i have been obsessively checking my phone lately, ESPECIALLY yesterday i would open my emails, instagram, even my twitter and snapchat...discord..steam

ive checked once today...maybe twice but thats because i was bored in the car...but now i just have to remind myself to live in the moment again

i have 4 days left of sub on ff. im not renewing. not for a while.

it was nice kinda making friends in the fc. S is bleh, boring as usual, so dont really bother talking to him unless he aims something at me. i became sorta friends with L too, we were all randomly chilling trying to buy a house and having random convos like about what takeaway to get

but its not really serving me to be on that game. im enjoying it but its just making me live in a fantasy world again. and on the discord, people dont really reply to what i post, because it involves cute stuff or horses and gamers just arent interested in that, only absurd memes, its the same old song.

so i wont really miss the game. im going to let my sub expire and then buy legends arceus on the switch, since i wanted to before i bought ff. ill be more present irl, and can sit with my baby more.

and if i get kicked from the fc for being inactive, its not a big deal either...id just join a new one. i just need to detach from the online world that hes still basically a part of. stop meeting new people who are emotionally unavailable. just focus on being happy for myself and my son. dont look at my social medias, maybe tiktok and youtube ofcourse. i just feel stupid for letting him drag me down to this level again. planting a seed of doubt in my head.

fuck you i will be better

[projectpieces]

things u said that scared me

the irony is this: i asked for nothing serious. my exact words 11/12

in retrospect, neither of us saw this coming. coming out of a serious relationship of 3 years (serious to me a serial non-committer) i thought id take this time to step back and look at the bigger picture that is my life. find myself again. reprioritize. dig up my values. renew and restart to live a life invested in myself and my truth. then it happened. 

and when it happened it seriously happened. all at once. as cliche as it may sound it started really slow then hit me all of a sudden. i was, in love? falling? super duper fast and hard. all of a sudden. then next thing you know we cant spend a day apart. was i getting comfortable? did i not have enough time to get uncomfortable? what was happening... what is happening. my patterns can be unhealthy but i couldn’t find anything wrong with what we were doing or what i was doing. then as quickly as it rose, it fell. enter all the negative, gross emotions that come with love. skepticism, distrust, jealousy, comparison. yuck. i couldnt take it. i almost bailed... twice. 3x if you include the time i got really drunk and ditched the kick it to drive home on my own. then didn’t answer your calls or texts all night. a classic nicole move right there. you stuck around though to my surprise. you got mad for a sec then got over it. is that love?

love. lol

its comedy. you think you love someone and see the rest of your life with them. all of a sudden you drop them and its like life never stopped. it keeps going. you realize, you didn’t need this person. but they were great to be around. you cared about them so much. you admired them. then. you fall in love. you obsess. you cling. you need. you desire. you crave. affection has never felt so perfect. being cheesy and corny all of a sudden make sense. all those movies and songs that you rolled your eyes to are the latest pleasures of your everyday. you are feelin it. them. in love. and its absolutely perfect.

the things you said that scared me

remember when i talked about the negative feelings that come with love? yea. thats the suckiest part about the whole deal. its a high forsure. that comes with huge...and i mean HUGE risk. of hurt. thats where im at now. im scared. my ego chimes in and she is loud. she likes to tell me that itll never last. that there will be someone better. prettier. younger. more talented. more to give. she tells me that this is nothing. that it can never be “serious”. that it can never actually be you. she tells me that im just here for company, that im filling a void. that i only take care of him and receive nothing in return. she tells me hes interested in other people but cant get them. he settled.

#1 “im so ugly. girls dont like me.”

#2 “yeah ill probably move to la”

#3 “i think i’ll just go home. i dont want to be alone”

#4 *referring to posting on social media* “seems too serious”

right. seems too serious. this is where it backfires. what is “too serious”? apparently flying home to meet the family isnt too serious. or loving each other. (this is ego talking) and let me tell that last one might have fucked me up today. 2/25. i was trippin at work. i mean i usually do, its an easy environment to ruminate in. but im working on it every day. finding myself exercises and questions to work through. redirecting to my senses when im stuck on a thought. making flow charts and maps to analyze my own thought process. unlearning bad thought patterns. reestablishing healthier patterns. forming new habits when a thought enters my mind. [is it true? does it serve or starve? is it out of my hands?] when i focus on my sensations i ask myself what do i see? hear? what can i touch? (i like feeling change in temperature hot/cold) what can i smell or taste? and the last one, what am i thankful for? 

ironically enough. i fell in love with you. and in order to stay with you, trust you, not repeat my mistakes and fall into old patterns. i reacquainted with myself. without trying or forcing myself to be alone. i fall in love with myself everyday. not because im loving myself and getting better at it everyday, but having to wake up neutral and finding reasons to love myself as the day progresses. because i need to. in order to love you. in order to trust. to make this work, i had to trust myself enough to know that i’ll be alright if it goes to shit. and i will be, i know that. because. im the fucking shit. and youre pretty great too.

[starsmuserainbow]

Thank you!

So, it’s that time again!

I originally intended to wait longer with my next post like this, but then again I’d only have waited because I would want to avoid having to face my shyness by doing this here. So, instead of waiting, I decided to go ahead with this number.

I have reached another number, that will be mentioned once but only below the cut for those that don’t like people talking about their amount of followers.

This is incredibly hard for me, but I had big plans for my next post and I intend to stick to those plans. It will get very long below the cut, so be warned when you click.

Short version:

Thank you all for following me and thus being interested in my Star and/or my writing!

I apologize if any of the ones that I’ll list below are currently on hiatus or inactive or anything, I don’t intend to force you back or something, I just wanted to say how I feel about your blog, and also try to word how thankful I am, and/or say a few nice words which I never would have the courage to say otherwise.

One more thing: Please don’t measure the length or compare it to the others. I can’t say exactly the same amount of things to everyone, and I also don’t wanna repeat ‘cliche-y’ terms for every single one of you. I only wanna write the most important things I feel about you, so please don’t be mad for getting fewer lines than someone else or something.

Also, to those that had already been mentioned in the last post I did of this (half a year ago or so), forgive me if something I say sounds very similar.

So! On with the list. I plan to mention almost every mutual I have down here, if I left you out I apologize. I go by the ‘followers’ list of tumblr, so it could be that it isn’t showing me everything right now or I simply missed one while going through the list. I still value you though! Oh, or, if I can see the dates of posts, and you haven’t posted anything within say the last two months or so, I’ll not mention you either. (I’ll also leave out ones like, that are posting news of something and likely only followed me back to... I don’t know, to be polite or something?)

Before I start: Thank you for allowing me to have reached 400 followers!

EDIT: If you got a notification but can’t find yourselves on the list, I am so very sorry! I had more people on the list at first, but then removed a few as I was working on it for various reasons (my shyness the most prominent one, inactivity being another and/or also if I just didn’t really know what to write), and tumblr seems to have sent out notifications nonetheless! I am very very truly sorry, I still value you very much!

@frozenloyalty: I think you’ve been following me for a very long time already, and I don’t understand why but I think tumblr has already made me unfollow you a few times, so first off, my apologies if you have recieved follow-notices more than once from me over the time. I’m not that indecisive about who I follow, and I really hate it when I after some time find out that I’m not following someone anymore. I actually don’t know anything about Xiaolin, but nonetheless I really like your character and I really enjoy the things you write! Not to mention you also have an Aqualad, and I think you’re doing him greatly and I always like to read the things you put on my dash!

@the-boy-wcnder: I think I mentioned in my last of these kind of posts already how much I enjoy to talk to you OOC? I don’t have many that I actually talk to about things sometimes, and you’re definitely one of those few! That means a lot for me, and while I’m not using Skype anymore which leaves basically only IMs on here (and tags on posts), I still appreciate it highly everytime we talk! Then there’s of course also the thing about the thread with the tamaranean staff; I’m so glad that you actually liked that idea/concept of mine! I very much enjoyed the interactions we had so far, and - this isn’t to force you to be active again or anything for I know that your last post has been a while but it’s still withing the 2 months I’ve set as ‘limit’ to when someone has to have been active to be included in here - I’m sure there’ll be many more great ones to come!

@shiningdream: I don’t know a thing about Pretty Cure in general, maybe aside from the fact that it is about magical girls. But from what I’ve seen, I really like Nozomi! And since I have never seen anything from it, that must be thanks to your writing! She seems like a wonderful character, I’m happy to be able to follow the things you write and learn more about her in that way, and even more happy that you are actually following me back!

@sorcxrxss: I don’t remember the name of the blog anymore (you had a different back then I know that), but I remember that we ‘met’ very early in my starting on here. I won’t forget that, and it always makes me happy when I notice that we’re still mutuals!

@riverborne: What a wonderful character Mnemosyne seems to be! I think I have told you that somewhere before (in my last ‘thank you’-thing? or maybe IM? I can’t say anymore), but you definitely made me enjoy her and that even though I never watched Sailor Moon far enough to actually know the character! Thanks for still following me, it means a lot!

@hisluckycharm: We had a very short-lived thing going once, didn’t we? Anyway! I love Ladybug and you do her so nicely, I very much enjoy to read your things when they appear on my dash!

@steelbonesandbighearts: Again, I don’t know anything about the fandom. The concept (of Hetalia as a whole I assume) is very fascinating though and I thank you for being interested in interacting with me! I enjoyed what we had so far; which reminds me; what happened to our thread? I’ll have to look up if it’s one of the things I (sadly) miss from time to time, because I definitely would like to continue interacting with you!

@graceful-cure-swan: I’m so thankful to have a chance to interact with you! Tsubasa is a really great character (and I assumed she would be a canon character at first since I have no idea about the fandom), and I so much appreciate that you were the one to make the first step for us to interact! I’m still not quite over my problems about sending things to people, but I always make myself try a little harder because I know there are wonderful people like you that do it and I wish to be able to give back a little of the love it shares, too!

@gottakeepemall: I think we talked somewhere once? Anyway! I haven’t watched Pokemon far enough to actually know about Bonnie, but from what I’ve seen thanks to you I absolutely adore her! I really like seeing you on my dash, and it makes me happy to know that you are still following me, too!

@apocalypsxmaidxn: I know I suck at communicating, and I feel like I’m way too often not responding anymore when we start talking through IM, and for that I’m very very sorry! I feel like we’d have interacted a lot already, but I think there wasn’t actually that much we did (yet)? We certainly should do more things together!

@cruelcrusader: I think you might be the only Batman that follows me, and that means a lot! I very much enjoy to see your things on my dash, and I’m happy that you are following me as well!

@adamxntium: I’m so glad about our interaction! Even if it takes some time every now and then to be continued, it’s a wonderful thread and I’m sure there is much more awaiting the two of them!

@justathief: Oh, Star and me both definitely enjoyed the interaction we had so much! I’ve actually recently put ‘fly me to the moon’ into my playlist on my computer again, and everytime it starts playing I’m reminded of the thread! You’re a great Red X and I always enjoy to read what appears on my dash from you!

@vertounda: We haven’t had any big interactions (yet), but let me just still say that I very much enjoy knowing that we’re mutuals! I appreciate it whenever you send me something (and I really should get better at sending things to return that gesture sometimes too), and it’s always great to see the things you do!

@aerokinesiiss: I love the fact that we’re Star-Sisters (for both going by Star on here)! Back when I read W.i.t.c.h., I always liked Hay Lin very much. Not only did interacting with you renew that liking, it also made it even bigger! I read almost everything that I see posted by you, and I’m always so excited when our threads are continued! (This isn’t the blog where I should mention this, but - I’m not sure if I’ll get enough followers on him any time soon to do a post like this there and also - I’ll never get over how thankful/delighted/happy I am for you being the first to interact with my Wildfire! And then it became such a wonderful relationship between them, I just love them so much together and often think about them!)

@destruction-robot: Again a fandom I know nothing about; but still I definitely like to see you on my dash! You’ve been following on my sideblogs too, and even already interacting, which I appreciate very much. That brings me to the thought... don’t you have sideblogs too? I think I’ve read something about them once while I was on mobile and intended to take a look once I’m back on my computer, but then forgot about it! I’ll have to check for those after being done with this post, I’ll certainly not want to miss out on more writing from you! (Also, by the way, what happened to our threads, on any of my three blogs? I’ll have to try and search for them, too, that is if you still want to continue those since I think it’s been a while already)

@aureajuniper: I have watched your dash and what happened on your blog for a while already. I enjoy your writing very much, and I learned so much about your characters only thanks to following you, I honestly can’t understand why you seem to have so many bad things happening every now and then. I’m very sorry that those things happen to you, you’re a wonderful person that not only does a great job at RPing but also does icons for others, and you don’t deserve any bad things happening to you!

@billyandhismultiples: A Billy! Oh, I was really happy when I saw you! He’s such a enjoyable character, and then you do him so well! We haven’t had any long-ish interactions yet or anything (we had one, I just don’t think it really counts as long), and Star hasn’t given Billy a chance on becoming friends yet, but I’m sure however they will turn out any interactions that are to come will be wonderful! And even if there are none to come, I still enjoy seeing such a wonderful Billy on my dash, and then even knowing he’s (well, or, technically, his mun) is following me back!

@sclsticed: I didn’t even know about Kiran before I found you (I guess you followed me first? I don’t actually remember anymore). She’s such a wonderful character though and I’m so very thankful to have learned about her thanks to you! I also really enjoy our interaction with my Blackfire, and I’m really happy whenever I see you on my dash!

@lucklessprincess: Such a great Jinx! I love your Jinx so much, and all those many headcanons you have, it’s amazing! Not to mention you also do such wonderful art, and have fascinating OCs, too! We haven’t really done any long-going interactions or anything (yet), but I don’t mind because I still really like to see whatever you put on my dash! You’re wonderful and one of the persons I definitely look up to!

@feistyfreckleface: I really like Anna! I liked her in the movie, and I like her even more through you! I’m not quite sure what happened to our thread, but it was no doubt a great one and Starfire was definitely happy to make such a wonderful new friend!

@firefavoring: I really like W.i.t.c.h. in general, and to have such a wonderful Taranee willing to follow me and interact with me makes me so happy! It’s always great to see you on my dash, and I very much enjoy to know that we’re mutuals!

@omamcri: I’m always keeping up with the Detective Conan manga (or Case Closed if that’s how it’s called where you are), whenever it comes out here I’m reading it as soon as possible! I haven’t watched the anime in a while, but nonetheless, I really like it and I very much enjoy the fact that a great Heiji follows me! I have no idea how a meeting would actually work if we ever were to interact, but I’m definitely not against it happening someday!

@grimmtime: Having a Grimm as an actual... uh, how do I say it, as an actual thinking being is such a interesting idea! While Starfire and Grimm maybe didn’t have the best start at their meeting, it was a very interesting and most enjoyable one!

@rosesofflame: A very interesting OC! I really like to watch you on my dash, and it’s making me feel even better to know we’re mutuals! I’m having much too big problems to actually approach people, otherwise I think I woud’ve had tried to start something with you a while ago already!

@littlestarmaiden: Another wonderful OC! I really like the concept, and from what I’ve seen on my dash of you I like your character as well!

@problem-free: Lion King! I can’t say I’d have watched it multiple times or can remember every detail of scenes of it or anything, but what I do know is that I enjoyed it very much and one of the things I remembered the most was Timon and Pumbaa! I’ve been quietly watching your blog for a while now already (I think it’s at least a few months that we’re mutuals already? Or if not then it at least feels like it), and in my opinion you’re doing a really amazing Timon!

@valieente: Meeting a talking cat has made Starfire extremely happy! Aside from that, I always liked Puss, and to then find one on here that’s doing such a good job RPing as him was wonderful! I’m really glad we met and I’m so happy to be able to interact with you! (I know you’re not really there at the moment but you made that post about planning to come back so I thought it’s alright to include you here too)

@archeroftheeast: Another one of the people I definitely look up to! I read almost everything I see on my dash that comes from you (this includes your other blogs I follow), and I always enjoy it! You’re such a great RPer and so much more, I’m very delighted to be good enough to be mutuals with you!

@finderofdeath: Such wonderful OCs! I really like the interaction that Star and Eath have, and your OCs are really great and interesting and I’m happy that we interact and are mutuals!

@tradicans: I hope you’ll feel better about things soon, and/or find more time for the things you want to do! I’m having somewhat the same problem and try to get to solving it so I very much understand why you’re not very active at the moment. That’s alright though, for I love our interactions and I definitely won’t mind waiting!

@avalanchiing: I don’t know anything about Lance, but from what I’ve seen on your blog I find him interesting!

@untouchable-lightning: I really enjoy our interactions! Star often tends to try and befriend villains, but it’s a bit different with those two I think because she doesn’t quite see Ariel as a villain. I like their relationship and the threads we have, so thanks for being mutuals with me!

@judasborn: I still can’t quite believe you’re following me, and even on Wildfire too! I really admire your blog, you’re such a wonderful Jericho and it always makes me happy to see you on my dash! I’ve also already learned a lot more about him than I knew before we became mutuals, all thanks to reading what you post! Also, I am aware you reblog memes from me sometimes, and I wanna say that it always makes me try to fight my shyness more to actually approach you! I haven’t been successful yet, but hopefully it’ll come someday.

@puffywarrior: Kirby is such a cute little thing, and you do him so well! I’m very happy to be mutuals with you, and if you want to, we should totally interact some time!

@xitch-bxy: I knew nothing about Klarion before finding your blog. I have never watched Young Justice, and I don’t know about the comics; so I can’t really compare to how he is anywhere else, but I really like your Klarion! And our (bit of) interaction was wonderful too, I’m happy to be mutuals with you!

@bxrdmom: What a wonderful character Arella is! I don’t know anything aside from her short appearance in the cartoon, but I always was interested in her nonetheless! You’re a great writer and it’s always nice when people take upon giving a smaller character more love, and from what I’ve seen you do so very well!

@microscopiic-abomination: Oh, how much Spongebob did I watch in earlier years? Quite a lot, actually, and your Plankton is so great! I enjoy seeing you on my dash and I’m thankful that we’re mutuals!

@mxnofmyxtery: I love our interactions! Every single one of them, they’re so great and offer such interesting adventures! Rex is a wonderful and fascinating character, and I so much like to see you appear on my dash!

@telekinctics: Again, I can’t really say I know much about your character. What I’ve seen so far, however, you’re a great writer and I like your character thanks to that; and you’re definitely a wonderful person as well, I really love seeing you on my dash!

@frostbitfun: I really liked Jack in the movie, and from what I’ve seen you do him so nicely! I like your blog very much, and I hope that I’m someday strong enough to push my shyness away and approach you for some kind of interaction!

@xenothiums: I really like your Red X! We haven’t interacted yet, but even without doing so I appreciate seeing your things on my dash! I like to read what you post, you do Red X nicely, and I’m glad that we’re mutuals!

@sewn-cutie: Oh, I love Clementine! And our interactions are so wonderful, not to mention that I absolutely adore your art and that you even make pictures for many of the people your little doll interacts with! You’re so wonderful, I can’t even properly word it! Thanks so much for being mutuals and interacting with me!

@nvertoolate: I don’t think I can really explain how thankful I am to have you as mutual. Our interactions are always so wonderful, and I like your Terra and the things you write so much, it’s just amazing! I don’t know what else to say here, I just hope that we will be able to keep interacting for a long time to come!

@blackfiire: Your Blackfire is amazing! I always enjoy to read the things you write, and I’m aware that we talked a bit once; I’m hopeful that someday I really will be able to send you something or use some other way to interact with you!

@peaceloveandmustard: One thing I’ll most likely not forget so soon will be the term Star-Sisters I’ve learned from you! I love the idea of using that to refer to all the Starfire RPers, and while I also have another Star-Sister which is simply because we both go by Star on here (see somewhere above if you wanna know who I mean), I really enjoy the idea and I’ll certainly remember this term! Aside from that, your Starfire is really great to see on the dash and I’m very thankful to be mutuals!

@mayhemforhire: I think more or longer interactions between us took place with your Ben, but I’m tagging this blog of yours because I’m seeing this one more often on my dash at the moment! I really enjoy our interactions, they’re always very entertaining and I’m glad that we happened to meet on here!

@autemiiisms: I’ve already mentioned twice that I liked W.i.t.c.h. very much when I was younger, and it’s just so wonderful to be able to relive this nostalgia by meeting ones that are willing to interact with me! You’re a great Will and I’m glad we interact!

@emoticlysm: You’re definitely one of those I admire! I know sometimes people don’t wanna hear that because they don’t feel they deserve it, but I just can’t not say it! You’re such a great Raven and I really enjoy seeing you on my dash; and everytime I’m once again aware of the fact that we’re mutuals I can’t quite believe it!

@ravagedglass: So, since I know next to nothing about the comics, I didn’t exactly know much about Rose either. I feel like I learned a lot already, thanks to you, and I really like your writing! I can’t really compare your way of writing her to any canon things, but I think you’re really wonderful at doing her!

@atrox-voluntas: I really liked our interaction, and am looking forward to more! From what I’ve seen, you’re a nice person and a good roleplayer and I’m very happy we’re mutuals and interacting!

@hopeherself: Madoka is such a wonderful character, and you do her very well! I enjoy seeing you on my dash, and the (bit of) interaction we had was great too!

@rain-wander: Technically we’re not mutuals but I still count it as such since I’m following your Raven and you follow back from the main blog. Our interactions are great, and I hope we’ll keep interacting for a while to come! You’re a good Raven and I’m happy to be able to RP with you!

@siilentiisms: Jericho is such a great character, I’m so happy to have him on my dash! (Technically even twice since I follow one other Jericho too, but that’s not the point right now) You’re really great and I enjoy to have you on my dash, I definitely like to read the things whenever you post something!

@xmemoriia: I think I have played MapleStory ages ago for a bit? Never really much though, and even for the bit that I played I can’t actually remember anything. So, I can’t say I know about Shade in any way aside from your blog, but from what I’ve read so far he’s a great character and I’m very interested in him! Also, can I mention just how impressed I’m always by people that do their own art for icons? You seem like a wonderful person and I’m delighted that we’re mutuals!

@tinkiisms: Such a wonderful Tinkerbell! I love all the nostalgia feels I get from having you on my dash, and I think you’re doing her very nicely! I love reading or looking at what you post, I’m very happy to actually be mutuals with you and even though I’m normally too shy to say it I hope there’ll be a way we will interact some time!

@thewitchofice: I’m currently trying to slowly catch up with my ‘Winx-knowledge’ by watching the episodes from where I stopped watching one per (almost every) day. But even without having seen every single episode there is, I’m certain you’re a great Icy! I’m glad we’re interacting, and while Starfire might not be very happy if she ever finds out that Icy doesn’t exactly have the best intentions, I’ll always be happy to be mutuals with you!

@otherworldlylightningbolt: I have learned so much about Kilowatt only by reading through your blog and the things you post! I really like him, and I enjoyed the interactions we had so far! Thank you!

@dutypatrols: I’ve always liked Robin in the cartoon, and you do him very well! We have only interacted (a bit) OOC as of yet, but I’m sure someday there’ll come more and I’m just very happy to know that the interest is mutual!

@rockcrushed: You are a very good Terra! I like to read your things, and I enjoy the fact that we’re mutuals! I hope we’ll be interacting someday, and until we are (or even if we won’t) I’ll happily look at your posts anyway!

@moonrisiing: Oh, oh, oh! I’m not even sure how to start. We had short interactions on a few of your blogs, and I loved every single one of them! Not to mention it’s so wonderful to talk to you OOC! I’m so happy to have met you on here and I’m very thankful for it!

@acrobaticism: From what I’ve seen, you’re a wonderful Robin, and I’m excited to know we’re mutuals! Someday I’ll be brave enough to actually approach you in some way to get an interaction going!

@spxder-head: I didn’t expect to ever be interacting with a Fang, but I really like it! You’re making him very interesting and I’m excited to see how our interactions will continue, both on here and with Blackfire!

@tyrantsiblings: Our interactions are so much fun! Star always loves to take care of animals, and if they’re rare (or should be extinct) that only makes it even more interesting! Your two rexes are so cute and fascinating and I love our things!

@scarabfused: I can’t say I know very much about Jaime/Blue Beetle, aside from that I have watched the recent TT movies. I really like what I know of his character so far, and seeing your things makes it even more so! Quite often when I see you post something I start to think about how they would meet in the verse of the cartoon (since I don’t do the movie as verse or anything), and I hope we’ll someday find out!

@nebulabeings: I have a big respect for people that are brave enough to actually put their OCs ‘out there’, open to see for everyone. Your OCs seem very interesting, andI’m pretty sure you’re a nice person too, so I appreciate to have you as my mutual!

@shogun--of--sorrow: We only recently became mutuals so I don’t think I can really say much yet. I don’t know about Samurai Jack, so I can’t really say anything about the fandom or my thoughts on your character. I’m certainly interested though!

@poutybatmavy: I really enjoyed the movies, and I’m very glad to be able to interact with a Mavis now! It’s been a joy so far, and I’m rather sure it’ll continue to be very entertaining, thank you for being mutual with me!

@fuckedluck: I can’t really say anything about your RPing for I don’t think I have seen any of it on my dash yet, but I always appreciate more Jinx’s (or more TT characters in general) to interact with and I hope we will someday!

@teentiitan: And another Robin! I feel like I’m following too many Robins xD Anyway! I’m excited to be mutuals with you and I hope we’ll interact some time!

If you aren’t on this list, I very much apologize. I didn’t manage to fend off my shyness entirely, so I left out a very few that I just couldn’t make myself actually tag. Then there are also quite a few I didn’t mention because I think/know they are the same person like one that I have tagged; and there’s of course the ones that tumblr simply made me miss! If you’re a mutual and not mentioned here, please forgive me for it! I value and appreciate you nonetheless!

#✫ Out of Clurblopf ✫ | OOC #so in the end I couldn't make myself actually approach every single mutual I have in here #but I think I still managed to mention quite a few I'd normally shy away from #so that's something; and now I have to make myself actually post it #(which already has happened when you can read those tags #but I still need to write them to get them out of my head) #I know I've not been as active during the last few days #and I'm sorry for that; but that makes me appreciate those #that stick with me nonetheless even more #so a big huge giant THANK YOU to all of my followers #be it mutuals or non-mutuals or ones that only stalk without actually following! #(if there even exist the latter kind of people)

[ohmygoth311]

I know no one reads these......

this is for my own venting....

700am

The DMV, sucks..... Yup, no matter what you do, you cannot avoid going to the DMV. Rest assured you may have someone go for you, but you will always at some point or another, end up going to the DMV. By yourself. In public. I am an introvert off the clock, so when I have a day off, I am dreading the fact that I may have to go out in public at some point. Now, I am normally off on weekends, but I was lucky enough to get a weekday off. Which, I thought would be the perfect time to get some major errands done. I got to the DMV bright and early, (about an hour before they actually opened.) and I waited until 8. Now, there were already people there who probably had the same brainy idea that I did. So, there we were. Waiting. Finally, 8am rolls around and everyone is getting ready to go in. There is someone who is walking down the line asking people what they are there for etc. When it’s my turn to tell her, she cuts me off and just says, “Go inside and take a number.” Well, if you’re not going to get a jump start to help people out, why come outside? But, I am the 6th person in line and I walk in, up to receptionist and I tell her what I am there for. She gives me a number, C001. Cool, I am going to be called. If you know anything about how the DMV is set up, they have these screens that call out the number and then tells you what window to go to. I am sitting there waiting for my turn, scrolling on my phone. When I hear, “Now serving C002 at window 13.” Wait... What!? How did I miss my number being called?? I walk back up to the receptionist and she tells me that I need to be sitting in the waiting area. A little annoyed but in the nicest way possible, I told her that my number wasn’t called, but they were already on C002. She looked at me with a blank stare and told me that I need to be watching the screens for the numbers and windows. I take one step back, and I look up to a black screen. I look back down at her and again, a little bit more annoyed this time, I say, “Oh, you mean the numbers that are on the screens that are turned off?” She, again giving me the blank stare, tells me that I need to be sitting in the waiting area. I shift my look and my tone, “Look, honey, I know you don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be here, but if you step outside of your little cubicle here, you can see that the monitors around the place are completely black, which means they are in the off position and to better assist others, you might want to tell someone to turn them on.” She rolls her eyes. Okay, now I’m about to go into, can-i-speak-to-your-manager mode. Still in the nicest way possible, I asked/demanded for a new number. She rolls her eyes and then shoves a new number in my hand to get me out of the way. A001. Okay, no mistakes... Im going to get it right. 

830am

My number gets called and I head over to the window and let the woman behind the desk know what I am there for. She is very polite. But, there is an issue, I missed a payment and I can’t get my tags. Well, shit. She gives me all of the necessary paperwork and lets me know that I can’t make the payment in the office, I have to call or do it online. Seriously? I can’t catch a break. I go back out to my car and head over to the nearest Walmart to get a prepaid card (I don’t believe in banks.) I get what I need and I head back to my car.

900am

Technology is great! When it works. I called the handy little number that the woman had previously given me, and I am on the phone with an automated system. After 40min of saying and then repeating again and again and again, I can’t make the payment. Are you kidding?! I gave up and went home to make the payment. 

1100am

The payment is made, now all I have to do is go back to the hellhole that is the DMV. I leave and get there in decent time. I see that the previous woman receptionist is gone and it’s a man. I walk up tell him what I need and then fill out all of the paperwork he gave me, then sat down and waited. And waited. And waited. Over an hour and a half more of waiting, my number gets called and I walk up to the window. The woman asks me what I am here for again and asks for my paperwork. I don’t have it, the male receptionist took it. She tells me that I need to have all of the paperwork in order to get my tags. I told her the guy took it and she huffs at me and gives me a dirty look, like I am the one who is making her get up and go ask. She comes back about 10 minutes later and starts the process of getting my tags. That’s when she sees something she doesn’t like. With a very stern and rude tone she asks me how did I get my penalties waived if my all of my paperwork was there? I came up with a little white lie on the fly and told her that I had an issue with the post office because I had just moved. Which, that part was true. She rolled her eyes and I could tell she was mad that I paid less for my renewal. With a shit eating grin, I asked if I could have my sticker and she didn’t answer me. She did her duties and then shoved my sticker at me and told me to have a nice day. I walked out laughing, but the whole thing took over 6 hours...... 

#ihatethedmv #if you hate your job quit

[tayegi]

Hii u lovely creature. First i just wanted to say i love ur work, this last chapter was...quite shocking since well how Jk was talking and reacting towards the OC. Im really not good with theories really and specially if i gotta write them down in english but i was thinking since u said this would have 3 parts that maybe...just maybe was like one part of each of the characters? Like one were we view in detail the feelings of the OC, then JK and the Jimin? Maybe? Idk sorry. Anyway love ur work :)

Anonymous said:Thank you for being able to find the time to write equilibrium, and thank you for being able to find the time to update it as well- and come on tumblr at all tbh. I know it must not seem like it but most of us really really appreciate it. Please don’t feel rushed to update and take as much time as you need. Thank you again for your work.

Anonymous said:hey! thank you SO much for continuing equilibrium. I’m really enjoying the plot and character development. its very interesting and you do a rly good job at weaving all the layers of meaning together. you’re one of my favorite writers 💗 hope ur having a great day!

Anonymous said:(3) I wonder what is it that jimin saw on jungkook as well, I don’t think that just good looks and the fact that he is good at a lot of things are enough to fall in love or accept being in that kind of relationship ¿ or maybe yes or I’m missing something. Anyways I absolutely adore this fic!! I love your detailed descriptions and how you put important little things and hints and how you think of every single word!! Really thank you for sharing it with us! You have created a huge masterpiece.

Anonymous said:(2)The days when jimin went away must have been the best days of his life, and I wonder now with Jungkook away how the dynamics between jimin and the oc would be, especially her. It would be really wow and not wow at the same time if she turned like kook. I doubt because she knows she doesn’t have a “connection” with jimin, and is more than aware that he wants jungkook. But maybe things will change like they did with him.

minsuguk said:(1) It surprises me how the oc feels about jimin, accepting jungkook’s possesiveness and mad terms in order to keep him in that crazy relationship which is the only way she can have a just little bit of jimin. But again, I’m not surprised because it’s kind of what Jungkook felt ¿ I mean he saw something in her, and she saw something in jimin. And jungkook was aware of her and jimins feelings and he proposed being together in order to be with her as well.

Anonymous said:I want to feel bad for all of them, but I feel bad for none of them. That’s a lie I feel slightly bad for o/c but shes doing it to herself because she wants to keep this tiny connection to Jimin and that’s the start of her problem! All in all this is gonna end badly. I knew that necklace was gonna come back and bit her in the ass.

Anonymous said:(part 2) You know how Jungkook is all fucking crazy in denial about having a connection with her could she be in the same denial except (but not crazy) I mean Jimin had to have noticed the reader was always with him in the beginning now they don’t even touch each other its all so fucked up because you cant feel bad for anyone at this point (I am scared for the reader though because how far will jungkook go if she let jimin touch her)

Anonymous said:Jimin CAN’T be oblivious to this whole situation if he was able to hear his name being called when Jungkook was fingering the mc he had to have heard something else. Could he be ignoring this situation to make sure he is able to stay with jk the same way jk and mc are using each other for the same thing? bc if it was obvious that jimin was in love with jk before anything happened did he have to “get through” 1 on 1 with the mc like she did with jungkook (part 1)

Anonymous said:oh dude the relationship in equilibrium is on the verge of becoming a huge trainwreck but i can’t stop reading it cos i want to see how big of a trainwreck it will become. can’t wait til we get to the point where the relationship just swerves off the track and just goes kablooey! rip.

Anonymous said:oh my gosh I absolutely adored reading the new chapter of equilibrium! I’m so amazed that you find the time out of your busy day to write so much! thank you so so much for the new chapter. i’m really curious to see how this story line will progress, and I do wonder what will happen with jimin and y/n over that weekend… hmm anyways thank you again!! this is my first time writing to you aha I’m so nervous and also !! I love you please take care of yourself

Anonymous said:I HATE YOU SM I’m kidding I love you lu 💕💕 I can already feel the angst approaching aghhssh I’m going to die

Anonymous said:The new update has me a bit fearful of jungkook. He seems to be a little bit to possessive-at least to me anyways. I wonder if jimin has noticed the change in jungkook as well? When he said that the oc was the only one who understood him it reminded me of the conversation they had in ch4 about his family not approving of his major. When i read that scene the first time, i kinda got the sense that that was why jungkook liked the oc.

Anonymous said:Shook again from Equilibrium updates @.@ Thanks as always!!

Anonymous said:omggggggg equilibriummmm the tension just keeps building and building up I AM SO READY FOR THE SHIT TO HIT THE FAN

Anonymous said:It’s really interesting because there are elements that show a legitimate fear the OC has when it comes to Jungkook. I can’t wait to see more (well I can obv and I will NO PRESSURE FJDKSKSKS but you know what I mean~). Also thank you for updating so often like. I have barely any work & a shit ton of free time and I still just can’t write so you’re??? Like how??? Thank u sm. 💕

Anonymous said:First of all - thank you for updating. You could throw a sentence of Equilibrium in my way once a year and I’d still cry of happiness. And second - I love this story so much you don’t even know. Their relationship has taken such a sharp turn suddenly and Jungkook’s motives are clearer and clearer while the MC still seems to be sort of oblivious? Ah I have so many speculations but there’s not enough characters in asks haha. Anyways it was amazing once again, thank you!

yaja-time said:Equilibrium is too my favorite writings of your.. probably one of my favorites out of all the fics I’ve ever read. But I love it so much I would wait 10 years for you to update. Shit I’d even be happy if you updated with only using 10 words. I understand you have a life and I for one am very grateful for your writings, because they are amazing. So thank you for writing.

Anonymous said:Poor Equilibrium OC :( Sadly this scenario hits close to home with her and Jungkook. But good job as always Lu! I appreciate the work you do, have me on the edge of my seat!

bluefullmetaltitan said:Lol. I’ve been waiting for you to say that!! Yayayay! I support you 100% cause like, it shouldn’t matter how long it takes. I’m in love with all of your writings!! Thank you!!

Anonymous said:bruh, equilibrium tho. i loves it like i loves you. but for real, its amazing and incredible reading smaller details from earlier chapters come back into play and seeing how everything slowly links together (how you have the willpower to write so much is incredible)

Anonymous said:I loved equilibrium babe it's so good keep up the amazing writing I loved the last chapter it's a very good storyline 👍🏼👍🏼 and please In the equilibrium let her end Up with jimin and more jimin smut please 😂😂 seriously loved it 💋💋

Anonymous said:When I first started reading equilibrium I thought it was about the three of them learning how to function in a polyamorous relationship. But in the first 4 chapters, you revealed the MC's feelings towards Jimin, & then showcased Jungkook and MC alone. Then, when Jungkook got possessive, & you wrote Jimin's and MC's back story, I was like, "she's not seriously trying to romanticize this relationship, is she?" BUT YOU'RE NOT, YOU'RE SHOWCASING LEGIT PROBLEMS IN A REALISTIC STORY. I AM HERE FOR IT

Anonymous said:Im living for Equilibrium rn🔥🔥🔥🔥, your such a good writer. Loving all your works 💖💖

Anonymous said:why do I feel like jungkook semi poisoned jimin so he couldn't go 😫equilibrium is so good rlly got me questioning everything lol

Anonymous said:Hello tayegi, i just want to say, you're the first writer I read in this bts fandom and im so thankful for that. And im so pumped for equilibrium jajajajajaAaaaa 🙏

Anonymous said:I have to be honest I was all for jungkooks protectiveness in early chapters cause I thought it was hella cute but after reading equilibrium chp 11... Im not too sure anymore. Like he actually made me kinda scared and trapped especially during the end (guess that's how good you're writing is). On a positive note, loving this series and I hope all three characters get backlashes for this messed up relationship lmao

Anonymous said:I don't get how anyone can complain about ch11 being "only 3k" like there was so much that happened in that chapter it didn't even feel like it was "short." I'm even amazed you can write such great quality stories despite being a phd student (do these children know what that is???) AND it's like midterm season rn like the quality doesn't drop despite this. And honestly I feel like these chapters have been getting updated pretty frequently these days I feel really spoiled haha

Anonymous said:EQUILIBRIUM IS SOME OF THE BEST WORK I'VE EVER SEEN ON HERE!!! LIKE I WAS AT SCHOOL TODAY AND I READ EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER AND I WAS SO OVERCOME BY WHAT WAS HAPPENING. AND WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT JUNGKOOK WANTED THE READER TO HIMSELF I GOT SO SHOOK!!!! LIKE I KINDA KNEW SOMEHOW THAT HE WANTED HER ALL TO HIMSELF. HE JUST WASN'T GONNA LET JIMIN HAVE HER ANYMORE HUH? BUT I'M SO EXCITED FOR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!! *sorry for yelling i was too excited for this series ily~*

Anonymous said:Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?! There was an Equilibrium update?! *runs to open tab so that it's the first thing I see after class* Bruh, I can't wait to dive in. Thanks for being a thug about all of those comments. Best part about creating works of art/expressing creativity is that you get to make people think, invite them to have an opinion and start conversations. If anything, Equilibrium provokes its readers to have a clear opinion. That's a success in my book. ;) Fighting always! - Happy Reader

yonggukssmolgf said:I love you. I love your blog. I love your writing. I love the equilibrium series. And I just love how you just take your time to update. Like you do things at you own pace and I like that about you. I followed you because you're an amazing person, you love your followers, and you never disappoint with your fics. Thanks for existing and I hope I made your day a little bit happier!🐼😙😀

Anonymous said:Excuse me young lady... yeah I'm talking to you Lu...Yupp.... you're being mad disrespectful, how dare ruin my nights peaceful sleep but updating equilibrium like that... do you not want me to graduate... it's senior year and I'm head deep into my writing... yeah thanks a lot for ruining my life... JK I LOVE YOU 💕

Anonymous said:I just read chapter 11 of Equilibrium and it made me want to CRY! I love the story so far and it's written amazingly well but it's tOYING WITH MY EMOTIONS! I'm super excited for the updates 💙💙💙💙

seokjinniemin said:oml I just finished chapter 11 of Equilibrium and boy howdy am I SHOOK. Equilibrium is by far one of my favorite fanfic series I've ever read! You're such an amazing writer, they way you convey the stress and anxiety of the oc is just phenomenal. And the small details you put into it like damn! I'm so anxious about this and how it's going to progress, especially with the oc and Jimin being alone. I feel like shit is going to hit the fan real soon o_o

Anonymous said:oh my god that new chapter of Equilibrium actually murdered me LMAO. i absolutely LOVE how every detail counts; like all the little small things that readers wouldn't think matter end up mattering the most. i love this series so much and ily Lu!!

Anonymous said:oh my god that new chapter of Equilibrium actually murdered me LMAO. i absolutely LOVE how every detail counts; like all the little small things that readers wouldn't think matter end up mattering the most. i love this series so much and ily Lu!!

Anonymous said:wtffff please ignore that anon i think you've been updating so quickly!! and i love the story sooo much it's so great no matter how lengthy it is. the content is what matters quality >>> quantity i really love it and know you work hard and appreciate it ❤❤

Anonymous said:Sometimes I think people are just plain dumb. Like, wtf, i am happy that you updated such an amazing story! You do not have the obligation to provide anything for us, you do it because you like it. People should be more grateful and learn to respect. Thank you for de update, you are straight up amazing

aichan11 said:I just read Equilibrium 11, it's so good! I sent you a message before, sorry if it was out of line. Just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing :) of course I have my own wishes/hopes about how the 3 people in Equilibrium would turn out but I don't want to risk influencing your writing. I can't wait for the whole balance to just tip over and see what happens. Is that too evil of me? Hahaha

Anonymous said:The new chapter was intense! I wonder what Jeon is hiding.. I feel bad for both Jimin and OC. Poor jiminie doesn't know what that kid is doing, and OC is stuck cos of jjk. I love your work Lu, stay classy ❤️❤️

Anonymous said:ahhhhh!!! another amazing chapter babe!!! Love the dynamic,screwed up characters

#sugarmartu #lu answers #equilibrium #beautiful ppl