#Ive never seen such weak shit in my life

[dinosaur-robots]

Swiftie. BeyHive.

Proud of it.

#come at me #Ive never seen such weak shit in my life #beyonce #taylor swift #tastemakers

[aluciahaz]

may i just say that your character writing is AMAZING! i honestly don’t check up on your blog a lot but when i do i’m left SHAKING because your shit is soooo hot.

Anyways i humbly come requesting mommy kink with vox because you know i’m all about that. he’s so desperate for validation and scared of rejection i feel like he’d be weeping at a domme mommy type reader. Anyways, do what you want with this!

once again i love your work! sincerely, bimbo <3

oh my god it's one of my favorite writers on tumblr🦅 thank you so much for the compliment it means a lot 😭 also i loved writing this ive desperately needed more vox asks! hope you enjoy! (kinda went ham on metaphors 💀 mb)

greed never stops

—vox x f!reader

—includes: overstim, tons of crying, begging, light bondage

vox was a walking, living(?) juxtaposition.

he’ll go barking orders to his subordinates, control most situations with smooth, quick thinking, and command his business with an iron fist.

but with you, the other side of his screen is on full display. his vulnerable, attention-desperate, failure-fearful self. you’ve seen it enough times to notice how it seeps into his daily life. how his control is really just a mechanism to take hold of his vulnerability, hiding it behind a mess of steel wires to make anyone who would try and reach it get tangled in its grasp.

but the moments he lets you untangle his facade, allowing you to see his true self, he feels free. even if most of the time it was during more intimate moments in the night. it was where he could truly indulge in his unfamiliar desires, crying and begging for the validation he was always seeking.

and you were the one he needed it from.

your praise was one of the highest in the hierarchy of compliments, making him feel like he was burning up, frying his brain in a way that made him feel like he’s short-circuited, but the feeling of fuzziness was intoxicating. he could never give up the taste of your compliments.

“come on, aren’t you a good boy? you can hold out for a little longer.”

those words were like rich liquor, and vox was an eager drinker. it swirled his thoughts into a never-ending spiral, and he could only cry in response as you touched his face with a gentleness that rivals an angel’s.

“b-but, mommy—!” he sobs as your fingers drive into him for what seems the thousandth time, his voice module starting to struggle as he tries to speak.

“oh?” you raise your eyebrow, feigning shock before narrowing your eyes, pressing him further down the sheets in disdain. is he still being ungrateful?

“but what, huh? don’t tell me you need more already! you’re such a greedy fucking slut,” you spit out, watching his eyes shoot open from the whiplash of your cruel words. “maybe i should stop—,”

“NO! nono, please! no! i’m sorry—!” he keens as your fingers slowly start to slip out of him, the sound so indecent it makes him shiver.

he pushes his hips up into your hand, trying to follow them only for your other hand to shove his hips back down on the sheets, your fingers twisting nearly all the way out before ramming back in, curling in wickedly that seems to shut him up briefly as he catches a breath that ran away.

vox weeps, unable to do anything else as his claws rip into the mattress, his legs shake and tremble as though they weren’t practically crushing you before. he seems so fragile at this moment, yet you knew he could take much more.

he just didn’t deserve it.

he whines and screams at your touch, tears starting to fall down his pretty little face as the small amount of dignity he had seems to get lost, overrun by your torturous fingers and unyielding pleasure that shoots through his body like a current.

“mommy—ha—please jus—zz—t fuck me, oh, god!” his head drops back down onto the pillows as your fingers wrap around his weeping cock, making his back arch as he sobs out noncoherent pleads. it’s beautifully pathetic.

his legs, weak and feeble, were strewn across the bed with previous markings trailing up his inner thigh, his neck even more decorated with a necklace of red, the glimmer of sweat that covers his whole body making those bites shine similar to crude rubies.

his hands, now tied with his own wires behind the bed (he charges there before he goes to sleep) were sullied with crimson from the tightness of the metal around his wrist, but not as bright crimson as his eyes, which flashed with bright red hearts intermittently. it was always a pleasant surprise, and a sign that he fucking loved this. no matter how much he complained at the start, his eyes spoke the truth.

which is why now, as you replace your fingers with his favorite strap, you know he’s absolutely overjoyed as those beating hearts seem to overtake his pupils once more, pulsating with a hypnotizing spiral.

“finally—! oh—zzz—FUCK!” his last word is practically inaudible with the airiness in his voice, his tone starting to distort, yet, your pace was slow. shallow, even. tears of frustration started to form at the ends of his eyes, his whines more pitiful as he tries to fuck himself back on your strap, only to be stopped by your sturdy grip on his hips.

“what do you say, vox?“ you asked, irritation slipping into your voice. how could he still be so ungrateful? but, he catches on fast, looking up at you with round, glossy eyes.

“thank you! thank—thank you, mommy!” he stumbles out before you switch up your pace instantly, brutally ramming into him just how he likes it. it makes him unable to fathom he could have been known to be anything but yours, surrendering his well-built persona to you. all of it, for your praise.

“such a good boy.”

those words were priceless, but he always ends up trying to buy them with obedience. and even though he’s successfully checked out with such praise, they still have the same effect on him every time.

he shudders and wails with ruined pitch, his screen flickering in and out of error messages and his lovely expression as he gets his reward. there was just something so satisfying about earning your praise.

sure, he can buy pretty much anything, and yes, he can get people to kneel at his feet, but he can’t cry without shame, or indulge in his true desires of being completely wrecked with soft words and fast hips with anyone. no, it could only be you. and even if he practically has everything under his hands, he will always be greedy for your affection, begging, screaming for a chance to have it set his whole body ablaze with its foreign warm feeling.

it makes him lost. no matter how much intelligence vox has, he always finds himself unable to search his way out of the feeling of pure lust overtaking his senses when you fuck him with abandon, his need to keep face seemingly never being there in the first place as tears make him short-circuit, and pleads for you to never stop. he doesn’t want to leave this labyrinth of carnality. he wants to stay lost in it forever.

it’s why even after he cums with a high-pitch sob so loud you thought his volume module broke, he kept weeping incoherently as the lights flicker in the room, his legs practically numb. and finally, he looks up at you, sniffling and choking on his words he’ll pretend to regret the next morning.

“m-more. please, mommy—! AH!” his whole body jolts as you heed his wishes, leaving him to fall back into the pleasure that he craves. he babbles on and on with thank yous and nonsensical sentences, the night seeming to become never-ending even with daybreak inching closer and closer.

vox is unable to speak at the end, and god does everything fucking hurt. his arms ache and his legs are definitely going to be an issue when he has to walk. there are marks all over his skin that will never see the light of day, yet be around for plenty of nights.

but you both know he’ll come back for more. his greed is an unquenchable thirst, and your praise is the only fountain that seems to satiate it, even if only for a little while.

(i totally didnt forget to tag)

tags: @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @mvskedxrtist @drlucichen @luciferspetduck

#hazbin hotel #dom reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel dom reader #sub hazbin hotel #bottom vox #sub vox #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox

[vodika-vibes]

Hi hi Ive just seen you're bouquet request is coming g go an end I'd LOVE Acica(Secret love) ambrosia (returned affections) for Commander fox (I adore him)

If you need any baseline idea maybe him just refusing to accept his feelings and after some kinda push finally is like shit like them ofc reader loves him back and has the whole time

I'd also be happy with any of the more classicly grumpy fellas eg alpha 17, but who ever is in your brain

A New Love

Summary: Fox is in love with his friend...he just refuses to admit it to anyone, including himself.

Pairing: Commander Fox x F!Reader

Word Count: 2028

Warnings: Mentions of Palpatine physically abusing Fox

Prompts: Acacia - Secret love, Ambrosia - returned affections

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: I don't really know anything about make-up because I'm allergic to almost all of it and so I don't wear it. So I apologize if anything is wrong. Also, I hope this is close to what you're wanting? I was struggling to come up with something good here.

“Will you hold still?” Fox rolls his eyes but stops moving as she carefully applies the makeup to his jaw and cheek, “Do you want me to cover the scars on your neck too?” She asks as she tilts his head to the side so she can see better.

“Probably should.” He replies with a sigh, “Don’t want my brothers to ask any questions that I can’t answer.”

She scowls at him, “Maybe you should let them ask questions, Fox.”

“You said you were willing to help without judgment, sen’ika.” He reminds her with a pointed look.

She sighs, “I am. Of course I am. I’m here, aren’t I?” She pulls away and eyes the covered scar critically, “Alright, open your shirt so I can to your neck and chest.”

Fox rolls his eyes again, and unfastens the clip at his neck, exposing his neck enough that she’s able to get to the scar.

She inhales sharply when she sees just how bad the scarring is, “...Fox-”

“You promised.” He reminds her flatly.

“Yes. I know. I know I did.” Her voice sounds thick with tears, and Fox feels a surge of guilt. If he had anyone else who would help him cover his injuries he would go to them, rather than bothering his one nat-born friend.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.”

She shakes her head, a weak smile on her painted lips, “It’s okay. I was pushing, and I promised that I wouldn’t.”

“It’s for your own safety.” Fox mutters, his eyes closing as she goes to work.

“I know. So you keep saying.” Her hands are warm against his skin as she gently applies the make-up to cover the scarring. She’s quiet for a moment, and then she sighs, “Sorry, I have to restart. These scars are redder, I need to do some color correction.”

Fox opens his eyes and watches as she pulls a wipe from the table and starts wiping the makeup off his neck, and then she crosses the room to her vanity and digs around for some other make-up.

He really is lucky to have her. 

Fox knows that he’d never be able to explain these scars to his brothers. Or, he doesn’t want to explain these scars to his brothers, rather. He pushes the swell of bitterness away with ease. He loves his brothers, he wouldn’t want any of them to be in his place.

But it would be nice if they noticed that he was suffering.

At least his sen’ika sees it.

She’s a make-up artist, who works at one of the largest and most well respected theaters on Coruscant. She invited herself into his life, and Fox has to admit that his life is all the better for it.

Partly because she keeps his secrets and is able to help him hide his scars and bruises from his brothers. But mostly because she’s a genuinely good person.

It’s not love.

It’s not.

He can’t afford to love anyone, not with the state of the galaxy. Not when his boss throws lightning around like it’s nothing. 

Sure, he thinks about her all of the time. And sure, he worries about her constantly.

But he doesn’t love her. He can’t.

“Ha! Found it!” She hurries back to his side with a tube of something green, “I’ll use some of this first,” She murmurs, “And that’ll help hide the red-”

“You’re the best, you know that?” Fox asks, leaning back as she applies the color corrector to the scar.

“Well, I try.” She takes a step back and sets the tube back on the table, “How are you feeling, by the way? You look like you haven’t been sleeping.”

“I work a lot.”

She sighs, “I’ll cover the dark circles under your eyes too. But, Fox, this isn’t feasible in the long term.”

“I know it isn’t, sen’ika.” Fox replies quietly, “I appreciate the fact that you’re willing to cover my scars as regularly as you do.”

“Yeah, well…” She grabs the concealer and then points it at him, “It’s not like the Republic bothers to pay you, so this is quite literally the least I can do. Normally you’re not this concerned though.”

“Yeah, well. I’m going to 79s with my brothers this afternoon,” Fox says with a sigh, “And I don’t want them to worry.”

“Oh?” She grins at him, “Maybe I’ll join you.”

Fox glances up at her, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah? Looking for a boyfriend among my brothers?” He asks as he ignores the pang of jealousy.

“Maybe I want to dance with you.” She counters.

Fox laughs softly, “That’s a terrible idea.”

Her smile falters, “Right. Of course. I just…I wish you would tell me why it’s such a bad idea for me to spend time with you.”

“It’s complicated.”

She sighs, “Right. You could just say that you’re not interested, Fox. I won’t be mad.”

He sighs, “The more time you spend with me, the more likely it is that you’re going to get hurt.” Fox says, “I’m trying to keep you safe.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it.” She pulls back slightly to admire her work, “Alright. You’re done, Fox.”

“Awesome. Thanks, sen’ika.” He refastens his shirt and stands, only for her to press his helmet into his hands, “I don’t deserve you.” Fox says with a fond smile.

“Nonsense.” She shakes her head, “You deserve everything in the galaxy and then some.” She favors him with a small, adoring smile. “I’m still planning on going to 79s tonight, Fox. I’ll just…keep my distance and find someone else to dance with. Promise.”

Fox’s fingers flex against his helmet. He’s not jealous. He’s not.

“Sounds like a plan.”

She smiles at him and hugs him quickly, “Be careful, as careful as you can be, at work today. There’s only so much I can hide.”

He folds his arm around her, “It’s not up to me, but I’ll be as careful as possible. Promise.” He drops a light kiss to the top of her head, and then pulls himself out of her grip, and heads out of the apartment.

Fox genuinely didn’t think that his sen’ika was going to come to 79s. He knows her, pretty well by this point, and he knows that she’s not really into the club scene.

She doesn’t like loud music, or the scent of stale beer, or the press of strangers against her.

So when he sees her enter the club, he nearly chokes on his drink.

She looks…great. Wearing a miniskirt and a crop top, and leather boots that make her legs look amazing.

Fox isn’t surprised to see that she’s drawing attention from his brothers. She’s already stunning, after all.

His gaze lingers on her as she heads to the bar, and his grip tightens around his bottle when he sees several of his brothers crowding around her. She probably hates that, Fox can’t help but think with a small smile. 

“She’s pretty,” Wolffe notes lightly, his gaze following his twins, “You should go dance with her.”

“Pass.” Fox replies, though he keeps his dark gaze on her, “Besides, she’s got enough admirers as it is.”

“Yeah. But they’re shinies and you’re Marshal Commander.” Wolffe replies with a small smirk, “You should feel honor bound to save her from their drooling.”

“I’m trying to get drunk, vod.”

“Maybe I’ll go and ask her to dance.” Wolffe muses, as he leans to the side to get a good look at her legs.

“Maybe you should leave her alone.” Fox bites out. 

Wolffe pauses and leans back in his seat, his eyes locked on his twin. “Huh. You know her, don’t you?”

Fox doesn’t answer him, he just takes a sip of his drink, though a small smile crosses his face when his sen’ika meets his gaze from across the room. Though she’s quick to look away, likely remembering her promise to not bother him.

“You know her well,” Wolffe continues, his eyes narrowing accusingly, “I saw that look. You’re friends with her.”

“Wolffe-”

“No, no. Why didn’t you tell me you had a pretty natborn friend? Are you sleeping with her?”

“What? No!”

“Why not?” Wolffe demands.

“Our friendship isn’t like that.” Fox bites out.

“Bullshit. I saw that look. You want her.” Wolffe says, “I’m going to get her and bring her over here.”

“I…no-” but there’s no point, Wolffe is already up from the table and crossing to the bar.

Fox watches as Wolffe talks to his sen’ika, and he watches as she glances at Fox, and then back at Wolffe and shakes her head with a small smile. He can practically hear her telling Wolffe that she promised to keep her distance tonight.

And then one of the shinies flings his arm over her shoulder and she cringes.

Fox sets his bottle down on the table as the shiny presses himself right against his sen’ika and twines some of her hair around his fingers. He watches as the shiny rubs his cheek against hers, and he’s on his feet and crossing the bar before he really thinks about it.

She’s his, damn it.

He firmly pries the shiny off of her, “Did you ask the lady if you could touch her?” Fox asks his voice flat.

The Shiny blinks at him hazily, and then he straightens, “Marshal Commander-”

“I suggest you go and clear your head.” Fox says, his voice very unamused, and then his gaze lingers on his Sen’ika once the shiny leaves. “Are you okay?”

She smiles sheepishly, “I guess I shouldn’t have even bothered trying to come here.” 

“It’s not really your scene, sen’ika.” Fox points out, gently.

“Yeah, I know.” She pushes her hand through her hair, “I guess I’ll just go home then.” She smiles up at him, “Sorry for ruining your night, Fox. I didn’t mean to.”

“You didn’t ruin anything.” Fox replies, “I’m always happy to see you, you know that.” Her smile grows and Fox releases an internal sigh, he’s so karked. Why did he have to realize that he loved her now, of all times?

Fox glances at his twin, who has a wide grin on his face, “I’m going to walk her out. Please don’t make this a thing.”

“Oh. Too late. It’s a thing.” Wolffe puts out his comm, “I’m telling…everyone?”

Fox just sighs and lightly nudges his sen’ika towards the door.

Once they’re outside, he turns to face her while she waits for her taxi to arrive, “Sorry, again. It seems I made things difficult for you.” She says sheepishly.

“Wolffe is my twin, he’s always going to be difficult.” Fox admits, “It’s not your fault.” He hesitates and then he lightly reaches out and brushes his fingers against her cheek. “I am glad that I got to see you tonight.”

“But…you said-”

“I know what I said. I’m an idiot.” Fox interrupts, he lightly brushes his thumb against her cheek, “I want, no need, you to know that I’m not uninterested.”

She blinks at him. “What?”

“Earlier, at your apartment. You said that you wanted me to let you know if I wasn’t interested.” Fox clarifies, “And that’s not the case. At all.”

“Oh,” She breathes the word out.

“I’m just…terrified that someone will hurt you to get to me.”

“I know. I’ve known that for a while.” She admits, “But, Fox, I don’t care.”

He stares at her, “You don’t?”

“I love you enough that it doesn’t bother me.” She speaks so lightly, so nonchalantly, as if she’s not admitting something huge.

Fox sighs and lightly cups her cheek, and he smiles when she leans into his touch, “I think we need to have a long chat.” He finally says, “Tomorrow. In the morning.”

“Yeah. Definitely. I’ll make breakfast.” She beams at him, and then turns as her cab pulls up. She flashes a quick smile and kisses his cheek, “I’ll see you in the morning, Fox.”

“Yeah. Good night, Sen’ika.”

And then she is gone, and Fox realizes that he has to deal with his overly excitable brothers for the remainder of the night. Tonight’s going to suck.

#star wars #tcw #vodika-vibes follower celebration #commander fox x reader #fox x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #f!reader fic #answered asks

[biggiedraws]

okay i just finished rewatching fma brotherhood and can we please talk about how fuckin 15 ed is. like lots of anime protagonists are 15 but ed is *so* 15.

like- he needs to disguise the car so he makes it into a 15 year olds idea of a really cool car, and its so cringe the adults force him to change it. he makes ling a sword and puts a little skull on the handle (for literally no reason except that he presumably thought it would be cool, even though they were in the middle of getting their asses kicked by envy) and then gets defensive when ling calls it lame. he gets riled up unbelievably easily over NOTHING. his fighting style is scrappy- hes experienced but not disciplined, and he'll use whatevers on hand to get the job done. he'll mess around in the middle of a fight, use unnecessarily flashy moves/weapons, and hes just generally a nuisance in combat. he gets really flustered when people insinuate that winry is his girlfriend, and then when he DOES confess to her 2 years later he uses a fucking alchemy metaphor because hes a NERD.

im saying all of this with affection by the way- hes a cringe 15 year old because 15 year olds are cringe! i feel like most of the time these high school age protagonists are basically just adult characters with more naive ideals, or theyre a bit more emotional, or they have "childish" interests. ESPECIALLY with these high stakes action-adventure stories, where the fate of the world is in their hands. but a kid can have the weight of the world on their shoulders and still handle their emotions poorly, act recklessly, goof off at inappropriate times, and generally think and act in a way that adults wouldnt. and still be mature and competent characters! i mean, ed is a GREAT protagonist. he has a full understanding of the stakes and he knows how and when to get serious. but he also does shit like breaking into a secret government laboratory, alone, in the middle of the night, with no plan, and nearly gets himself killed in the process. because hes a reckless kid! and if he HADNT done that, they never would have found out the enemys plan in time!

and its just so perfectly executed- instead of childish traits being sprinkled on top of adult problem solving and emotional regulation, him being 15 informs how he acts all the time! sometimes this is a good thing because he solves problems in a unique way, and sometimes it causes even MORE problems. its a fundamental aspect of his character that contributes to both his strong and weak points.

and my absolute favourite part is that hes still treated like a person worthy of his title and reputation- not only by the adult characters, but by the narrative itself. but he isnt treated like an adult either! the adults around him dont talk down to him, but they also dont have adult expectations of him. theres a whole bit about how the adults shouldnt stand by while the children are on the battlefield- insinuating that while the children are worthy of standing on the battlefield alongside them, they also feel some responsibility to lead them since theyre the adults. which is super reasonable! its probably the best take on adult mentor figures for child main characters ive ever seen.

and yeah theres an argument to be made that it was pretty fucked up of mustang to recruit ed to the military at 12 years old. but he was super upfront with him about what it would entail and didnt force him into it. so watching it as an adult, yeah, its fucked up. but the target audience is kids and thats how kids want to be treated! yeah its a lot of responsibility, but ed knew that going in AND he has a huge support network of trustworthy adults who are looking out for him. hes fine. and hes DEFINITELY better off than most high school age protagonists, who are just sort of thrust into high stakes, life-threatening situations with little guidance. the dynamic is less "you are The Chosen One who will singlehandedly save the world" and more "i mean you certainly have the skills and we really appreciate you working with us but what the fuck is a child doing in the military. who authorized this?? youre going to get yourself killed PLEASE be more careful!" and like. if youre gonna have a show about a 15 year old saving the world, then thats definitely the way to do it.

and what really seals the deal is how pissed ed gets when people treat him like a kid. thats the most 15 year old thing ever! he FEELS like hes being talked down to and disrespected just because hes not given the same expectations and responsibilities as the adults. watching it as a 20 year old im super impressed by the way the adults treat ed, but i can also understand why ed gets so frustrated. its the nature of being a teenager and thinking you can handle more than you can. which really just solidifies how fuckin 15 he is

btw im not saying ed is the only well written teenager in the show. hes just the clearest example- hes so LOUD about who he is and it makes it really easy to talk about his character traits. also hes like my favourite character ever and i just have to talk about him. so like al and the rest are also really convincing kids, and a lot of this stuff kind of applies to all of them! im just talking about ed because i want to lmfao

#i dont really have a thesis here i just love it #great writing and so fun to watch #fullmetal alchemist #fma #fmab #edward elric #analysis

[fuzzy-dog]

I LOVE LOVE THE CRANE WIVES !!!!!!!

IVE LOVED EVERY PIECE OF THEIR MUSIC WHICH I THINK IVE LISTENDED TO ALMOST ALL OF IT.

NEVER HEARD A CRANE WIVES SONG I DISLIKED!!!1

THE FUNKY LITTLE LEADING BASS LINE AND THE HOWLING VOCALS HAVE MY HEART AND SOULLLLL

SOME OF MY FAVORITE CRANE WIVES LYRICS: Album - Safe Ship, Harbored

You won't find me where you left me No, I'm long gone (Long gone)You can't bind me in the state you kept meFor so long (So long)

I give up my sight To see I give up my air To breathe

We're the daughters of sinners, we're the sons of saints

If there's a hole in the silver lining I'll be the one, the one to find itI take it upon myself to make sure I do . I might find nothing when I start lookingBut I turn it over in my hands untilMy fingers wear it through

Where does your faith fall? Where does your faith fall in me?Don't break the bottleDon't waste your blessings on me

My dreams keep diggin' up the bones of memories Discarded remnants of former timesNow every skeleton is slappin' its knees Laughin' at the holes he left behind

I have all the time I need (And when full moon beckons)To repent my wicked deeds(She relives the night that took her life)Plant my guilty seed(To suffer it in her eternal penance) By the moonlight in the cemetery

Album - The Fool in Her Wedding Gown

Spreading out the ashes of a love That only gave and gave

I'm swimming in this dress, a child in her mother's clothes This ring around my finger's like a chain around my throatAre you so sure you've tamed me?

Don't just watch me go, you fool Run with me, keep up, keep up, keep up

That though we're gray, we can stay young, and wild, and free

And if I were someplace else And if I were someone elseAnd if I were not myself, would this be easier?

I'm at a loss for better plans 'Cause this is all I haveSo I'll just close my eyes and try To pretend That it gets easier

All you're doing now is losing me

I gave you everything I had And now I want it back

You built the glacier house in the fadin' SummerYou cursed the earth you settled under

I know that you mean so well But I am not a vessel for your good intent

Though I planted the seeds, gave them everything they needBut the flowers in our window box don't growLittle buds make their graves as the warmth inside us fadesBut I still don't know shit about letting go

Just give me back, give me back to the ground

When my ghost sings my battle cry you'll be too sorry to dance

Am I the only thing that keeps you safe when the light is gone?

But I still hold out hope that maybe someday I'll be worth more than all the silence left in my way

But if in the end I lose my voiceWill you forget about your love for me?

And when you break the surface oh without mePlease don't return me to the dark of all the memories

The heart is just a muscle with a rhythm all its own It doesn't stop when you decide not to move on The heart knows nothing of your love or of your loss

Album - Coyote Stories

No amount of fear will keep you safe

With the risk of fall I never climbed at allEvery day I told myself“I’m not ready”

Their stories reveal Regrets their smiles can’t conceal

I could have been anyone, anyone else Before you made the choice for me

Bore the shadows that you made With no light of my own

I shine only with the light you gave me

All is fair in love and war, but I can’t fight with you anymoreThis will be the death of me

I'm one deep breath away from a breakdown My nerves are wrecked and coming unwound

I rip myself apart at the seams I find one weak spot and start unravelingHoping I can find a better me

I keep my closet free of skeletons 'Cause I'm much better at digging graves

I've seen good men spoiled Chained to their jobs like houndsThey work and sleep and work againIn the darkest nights they howlTheir cries are a warningTo everyone followingNo man should stand to work all of his daysAnd have nothing at the end of them

I got no money but the changeThat jingles in my pocketsReminding me how little I haveAnd as for time I amPowerless to stop itIt keeps rambling on like a mad, wandering man

And my dear papa gave me Lessons in regretHe said all that he'd done would be for nothingIf I followed in his steps

He taught me that the hand that feeds Deserves to be bitten when it beats

And that no man should get More of my time than me, than me

I may never be a rich man But I can, make sure that I am free

That these hands of mine were clumsy, not cleverAnd I tried to do the best that I couldBut try as I might I couldn't bring myself to hold you

There is love that doesn't have a place to rest But it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders

For keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you

I want to know that there are lands Not yet touched by human handsI want to be the one to find them

Album - Foxlore

Sure, you can forget about all the things you've done But what about the rest of us?

High-tail it when it gets to be too much What about the rest of us?

Marrow made a wife of Eve But no one gave up a rib for me and mine

Time has changed the metaphor Now, dust is not the origin of boneLittle girl, don't let them sell you any armorAll your ribs are still your own

The time has come for moving on You can't be always trying to dig upWhat you've already buried

Every word I say is kindling But the smoke clears when you're aroundWon't you stay with me, my darlingWhen my walls start burning down, down, down?

You don't have to believe every single thought That tumbles through your headJust 'cause it sounds like you talkingSometimes all you can doIs say goodnight and tuck your demons into bed'Cause they're not worth fighting

What good has ever come of it? What answers will you find?Turn out the lights on your mind

Don't buy me flowers It pains me to watch pretty little things wilt away

Keep the light so dim that you can't see What's out there ahead

If only I could break the chain of disappointments Weighing me downShake off the ghosts that whisper warnings

The crows in the garden are laughing at my expense

Put your ear to my heart or set your teeth against my throatGive me something pretty to wear beneath my blood-stained clothes

Tell the crows they can have their pound of flesh

Get on your knees and dig up the garden Won't you throw down that spade andDig up the garden, darling?Get your hands dirty and rip up the gardenWon't you cut down that apple tree for me?

Album - Here I Am

I thought it would be easier to change How many times can someone start again?How many more times will it take?

Got bombs that are falling on my mind I'm getting used to the noise and light,

I wanna be found I think I'm ready to be hereTie me down, tie me down

This ghost town is making a ghost of me

They shake me off and ask why I bother The answer is simpleMy father, his fatherI come from a long line of people who believeIn the flowers that growIn the cracks in the street

Tender as a bruise Sharper than a razorWraps her tentacles around meLike she'll never let me goFury shakes the rafters, but never in my favorI'm trembling in the eye of the only storm I've ever known

Stop the car, I wanna get outI'm craving open air and solid ground'Cause I've been watching from the backseatWatching the world slipping past me

Like a moth in the night I'm desperate for a minute in the light'Cause everywhere that I goSomething pulls me to the shadows

I'm a fool I've been howling at a hollow moon

Is this a bunker or a shallow grave? Either way I'm leftHolding onto the shovel and ropeDigging in the dirtFinding bones, finding ghosts

Take me in my damaged state Walked a thousand miles to be here againPull apart your useless gamesBut your song sings in my veins, and I'mSinging tooI can't drown you out no matter what I do

I’m just a ten cent copy Of people far more advanced than meEvery thought that I’ve ever hadCould be ripped from a magazineCut me a path, and I will follow itDraw me a line, and I’ll avoid itI’m nothing if not obedientYou have my word

I am not a builder I’m much better at blowing things downI will join the wolfAt my door

I keep tallies I keep scoreI'm a petty thing on a high, high horseYou've got your mouth openI hold my tongueThere's so many things that we can't ignore

Congrats to anyone who made it this far down the post lmao

(Life Series / Trafficblr fans, i see you all and im with you all.)

Europe/Britian/Scotland tour when??? plsplspls i need to see them live on stage!!!

This has been a Crane Wives Appretiation Post , Thank you for Consideration and please listen to their music if you dont already!!!

#the crane wives #crane wives #folk band #rainbow text #lyrics #the crane wives lyrics #trafficblr #life series

[flutt3rb4tz]

i hate when people who dont have marfans make/headcanon characters with marfans as some quirky trait. i really do, i've seen it a lot in my life as someone who was diagnosed at 3 with the condition and it honestly grinds my gears they always do the most stereotype-y traits, or ignore how much of a struggle it is to live with marfans, or how marfans can fuck up your body further by just how much shit it causes.

to put it into perspective, i got tagged like a fucking animal at school because they didnt want to take too much care into explaining that i needed extra care if something happened, or that people should be gentle with me because i could die on school grounds. ive sat cooped up in my home most of my life, i've only been on a fair ride once because getting on a roller coaster could harm me as well. i need help walking or getting around because my body cant always handle it, i have other problems due to marfans that have hurt me greatly for my entire life.

i'm slowly going blind from marfans and theres nothing a doctor can do that will stick. i risk aortic dissection simply by being hit in the chest, i used to be afraid of going to bed because if anything hit my chest too hard i could literally fucking die then and there, because my heart would fucking collapse on itself and theres a decent chance that i wouldnt make it to the emergency room.

it's not just some trait, it is a disability. and it's not quirky!! it was never fucking quirky!!! getting discriminated against for being disabled by the age of 4 wasnt fun! it wasnt silly! it was traumatizing!!!!

if you're going to make a character or headcanon a character with marfans take into account how much of a stereotype you're making them. there are short people with marfans, fat people with marfans (like myself), poc with marfans, there are people who cannot walk or function because of marfans, people with marfans arent scary or shy or weak all the time. we're human people! we vary!

talk to actual people with marfans. look up posts about the condition from people with the condition. dont confuse marfans with EDS. just have common sense!! its exhausting trying to look at content from people like me and either seeing headcanons, EDS posts, or people telling everyone with marfans that they have no hope (this ones common on reddit, but it applies).

people with marfans dont immediately die either, btw. i saw a post recently that was just "haha this character better have had amazing doctors or his marfans would kill him in 2 seconds!!!" and that's not how it works. of course it can be fatal thats with all things, but dont act like its an immediate death sentence, please. i'm sure a lot of us have heard it enough already

#disability #actually disabled #marfans #marfan syndrome #💔 needs recharging #sorry this is so long #partial vent partial rant. im just. urgh. #i've been down in the dumps for actual months over my body and condition #so coming to tumblr expecting posts #from people like me #and getting “ohohoh quirky character trait! marfans!” again #was like #hair ripping levels of rage inducing #its not like i hate ppl who make ocs with marfans #do it! make good marfans rep! please! let me and others #see more of ourselves online! #in media! #literally anywhere!!! #for gods sake just dont make it a joke #or “cute” #because its neither.

[altermay]

Tw/ transphobia, discussions of dysphoria, brief mention of suicide, descriptions of child abuse

Getting unbearable. Feeling sick. Started working to afford hormones only to find out the service that is most accessible to me (plume) doesnt offer T in alabama anymore due to changing laws. Fuck all these stupid politicians putting their noses in others lives.

Thought people at work wouldnt make a super huge deal, as I was selective with who I told, so i thought maybe I could hold out a bit longer and at least i wouldnt have to feel so dysphoric all the time, since all my coworkers knew me as Monte. But then instead of my name, people who would usually call anyone else by their name started calling me “Miss” and “maam”

Even the ones I had come out to, and even the ones who told me they were accepting.

Whatever, im from a small rural area, so transphobia is not new to me, what is new to me, however, is being openly trans in an unfamilliar environment. I thought I could start T quickly and maybe people would ever forget that im trans in the first place, but now its been so long.

Some people call me He, and use the right pronouns, but increasingly lately Ive received a myriad of transphobia.

Being called tranny loudly while my coworker kicks my broom as I try to sweep (kicking hard enough for the broom to almost leave my hands and hit another person behind me) , Getting called “it” behind my back. Stuff like this is becoming more common.

The two coworkers who called me it, have been spreading lies about my work performance these past five days, Ive been told my three different people that every time I leave to go do something they start talking badly of me. So I got to my breaking point, at this point it had nothing to do with the pronouns, I was just upset that two forty+ year old adults were purposefully making my job harder to do while I was also struggling with a ton of other stuff (ptsd, seasonal depression, a family members recent suicide) and so I couldnt stop crying.

Despite this situation having nothing to do with me being trans, they are now trying to spread the narrative that Im just being sensitive because they were misgendering me while they were borderline bullying me.

If I was not trans, people would take me seriously on these issues. But now, because I am upset, suddenly Im just a stereotype. A sensitive trans person who is offended because someone used the wrong pronouns a few times.

I will be one to say, I do not give a SHIT about my pronouns. Ive been called the wrong ones my whole life by a majority of people. That was never the issue. But because Im trans, that is the only issue people can perceive for me to have. The ONE issue I had with them regarding my pronouns was them calling me “it” and thats not because its the wrong pronoun, thats because its DEHUMANIZING.

But now I have other coworkers who know NOTHING about the situation saying shit like “well if she claims shes a man maybe she should suck it up” “well if she wants to be seen as a man maybe she shpuld cut her hair”

Fuck you. How about YOU get beaten for 17 years, YOU watch your siblings get beaten near to death for 17 years. YOU have flashbacks of things you dont understand all day every day and we will see how fucking well youre able to “suck it up” you are WEAK. YOU ARE ALL WEAK. And you dont know what its like to be me. My mother tried to kill me. My mother almost killed my sister, I was neglected, never went to a doctor, and I STILL dont know how to take care of myself. And I still havent recovered all of the memories.

Ive had SHORT HAIR ive had LONG HAIR Ive had a MOHAWK, ive had a BUZZCUT ive been BALD. And people STILL fucking saw me as a woman. Im tired of conforming to this bullshit just so people can treat me the same as they always do

Fun fact though, since Ive had long hair Ive been gendered correctly by strangers MORE than I have with ANY OTHER HAIR STYLE.

These stupid fucking transphobes and their stupid fucking stereotypes im so fucking sick of it all. And corporate wont do anything about it, Im sure of this.

Why is it so hard for me to just live my fucking life.

Im so sick of it all

#vent #tw vent #tw transphobes #transphobes #transphobia #tw suicide mention #suicide mention #abuse #child abuse #neglect #tw abuse

[ang3lxwrldd]

reasons to push to my ugw

so i can be skinny

to be given the jealous looks

people asking me how i did it

to be able to wear whatever i want and having it look good on me

wearing xxs/xs clothing

people complimenting how i look

changing the way i look

being happier with myself

being able to feel confident in a bikini

being able to eat a cookie without worrying i will be fat

to look in the mirror and love what i see

to take pictures of myself and look good

having people say “body goals”

for the tiny wrists.

to not have to worry about being a “normal weight” again

a pretty thigh gap

to wear crop tops without worrying about my stomach

to boost my confidence

to look good in my dream style

to be envied

to be seen as inspiration

to run and not feel the fat jiggle

to have a more defined jawline

to not hate my thighs

for size small clothes to fit oversized

to look good in body conn dresses

to feel accepted by society standards

to be happier with my body

to not feel super fat all the time

to have lean legs

to look cute in shorts

to be told im “too” skinny

to experience “skinny privilege”

to feel cold in summer

to see my ribs

for people to worry about me

to have control over at least one thing in my life

to never be the “fat” friend 

to not have to worry when being carried

being able to lean on “him” without worrying im too heavy:/

being able to wrap my fingers around my arms

for baggy clothes to actually look good on me

to be the smallest in the room

for all the jealousy other girls will feel when they see me

to be the center of attention

to not be asked to stop eating cause its late

to feel super light

to be told i look different

so i dont have to cry about my weight anymore

to be smaller than everyone who’s ever talked shit about me

being able to be mini

knowing i eat less than others

fitting into clothes that my friends cant fit into

for xs skits to be too big on me

needing to get my clothes tailored because they’re too big

to be the “winner” against others with eds(this ones kind of toxic ik:/)

to be able to pull off mini skirts and having long thinspo legs

to be proud when i step onto the scale

so my thighs dont touch when i sit down

relatives asking if ive lost weight

not feeling lazy 

for people around me not to tell me maybe i should eat less

to be lighter than one of my friends thats lwk thinspo

no double chin

the compliments<333

not having to spend my money on food

losing my period

to be the skinny friend

visible bones

to feel weightless

for people to say “wow you’re so light”

not to have to worry when i sit on someones lap

to look like tumblr thinspo girl

to wear low rise pants and feel confident

to be known for being “healthy”

for people to say “thats all you’re going to eat?”

for my stomach to shrink so i feel full after a small portion

to finally get the attention ive always wanted

to finally feel like ive proved myself

to finally feel so weak that i faint from malnutrition 

to have pretty thin fingers

to run out of breath from doing easy tasks

to be treated like im delicate ~like a doll

pretty collarbones omlll

for my stomach to shrink where i cant binge anymore

to be able to wrap my hands around my thighs so they touch

to look like THAT girl when im on vacation

for a pretty neck that looks amazing with small necklaces

to finally feel disgusted with junk food or greasy food

even though i dont like skinny jeans, to look good in them

for the tightest bracelet settings to be loose on me

for my hands to be cold all the time

to see my shoulder bones

for one size clothes to be baggy on me (like brandy melvile)

for girls to ask me how i did it

to have that small snatched waist

to know i finally beat hit my ugw after so long

to feel like i finished something.

to feel good enough

to be perfect.

#tw ana thoughts #whyiwantmyugw #edthings #ed not ed sheeran #an0rexic #tw ana things #an0r3xic #tw ed in the tags #eating problems #i want to be a skeleton #restrictive ed #th1n$po #4n0r3x14 #3dblr #th!n$p0 #3atingdisord3r

[istumpysk]

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

ADWD: Daenerys VI (Chapter 36)

Ser Barristan wrinkled up his nose, and said, "Your Grace should not be here, breathing these black humors."

"I am the blood of the dragon," Dany reminded him. "Have you ever seen a dragon with the flux?" Viserys had oft claimed that Targaryens were untroubled by the pestilences that afflicted common men, and so far as she could tell, it was true. She could remember being cold and hungry and afraid, but never sick.

She's such a clown.

Later on we'll have to figure out whether Daenerys has the bloody flux (pale mare) or not. The above + the following,

. . . three mounts must you ride . . . one to bed and one to dread and one to love . . . - Daenerys IV, ACOK

suggests she might become infected.

Not to worry, she won't die from it or anything. Where's the fun in that?

+.+.+

Jhogo rode before her, Aggo and Rakharo just behind, long Dothraki whips in hand to keep away the sick and dying. 

Handy! Nice they got to keep those.

+.+.+

"Mother," they called to her, in the dialects of Astapor, Lys, and Old Volantis, in guttural Dothraki and the liquid syllables of Qarth, even in the Common Tongue of Westeros. "Mother, please … mother, help my sister, she is sick … give me food for my little ones … please, my old father … help him … help her … help me …"

I have no more help to give, Dany thought, despairing.

Pretty blatant mirror to Jon's trip to Mole's Town.

There's one small difference, only one is being treated like a Messiah.

+.+.+

Little children with swollen stomachs trailed after them, too weak or scared to beg. Gaunt men with sunken eyes squatted amidst sand and stones, shitting out their lives in stinking streams of brown and red. Many shat where they slept now, too feeble to crawl to the ditches she'd commanded them to dig. Two women fought over a charred bone. Nearby a boy of ten stood eating a rat. He ate one-handed, the other clutching a sharpened stick lest anyone try to wrest away his prize. Unburied dead lay everywhere. Dany saw one man sprawled in the dirt under a black cloak, but as she rode past his cloak dissolved into a thousand flies. Skeletal women sat upon the ground clutching dying infants. Their eyes followed her. Those who had the strength called out. "Mother … please, Mother … bless you, Mother …"

Well that's horrifying.

+.+.+

By the time Aggo returned with Grey Worm and fifty of the Unsullied loping behind his horse, Dany had shamed all of them into helping her. Symon Stripeback and his men were pulling the living from the dead and stacking up the corpses, while Jhogo and Rakharo and their Dothraki helped those who could still walk toward the shore to bathe and wash their clothes. Aggo stared at them as if they had all gone mad, but Grey Worm knelt beside the queen and said, "This one would be of help."

No criticism here. She feeds them and burns the dead when every one of her counselors advised against it.

+.+.+

When Daenerys returned to her pyramid, sore of limb and sick of heart, she found Missandei reading some old scroll whilst Irri and Jhiqui argued about Rakharo. 

Strange little detail.

+.+.+

"You are too skinny for him," Jhiqui was saying. "You are almost a boy. Rakharo does not bed with boys. This is known." Irri bristled back. "It is known that you are almost a cow. Rakharo does not bed with cows."

"Rakharo is blood of my blood. His life belongs to me, not you," Dany told the two of them. 

Nobody belongs to you, dipshit.

Why are you being territorial over a guy you don't care about?

+.+.+

Rakharo had grown almost half a foot during his time away from Meereen and returned with arms and legs thick with muscle and four bells in his hair. He towered over Aggo and Jhogo now, as her handmaids had both noticed. 

Unreliable narrator George R. R. Martin. The author has managed to mix up his Dothraki bloodriders.

Credit to @aegor-bamfsteel for pointing out this blunder.

Jhogo is the youth.

Jhogo edged back, his hand on his arakh. He was a youth of sixteen years, whip-thin, fearless, quick to laugh, with the faint shadow of his first mustachio on his upper lip. - Daenerys VIII, AGOT

Rakharo is already a man.

Rakharo snorted contempt through his drooping black mustachios. - Daenerys III, ACOK

I'm not sure how a mistake like this is possible when he's given them such complex characterizations.

+.+.+

"This one heard the Astapori scratching at the walls last night," the little scribe said as she was washing Dany's back.

Irri and Jhiqui exchanged a look. "No one was scratching," said Jhiqui. "Scratching … how could they scratch?"

"With their hands," said Missandei. "The bricks are old and crumbling. They are trying to claw their way into the city."

"This would take them many years," said Irri. "The walls are very thick. This is known."

"It is known," agreed Jhiqui.

"I dream of them as well." Dany took Missandei's hand. "The camp is a good half-mile from the city, my sweetling. No one was scratching at the walls."

"Your Grace knows best," said Missandei. 

The dragons are trying to claw their way out! They want to escape!

🌺 symbolism 🌺

For a moment he saw only the blackened arches of the bricks above, scorched by dragonflame. A trickle of ash caught his eye, betraying movement. Something pale, half-hidden, stirring. He's made himself a cave, the prince realized. A burrow in the brick. The foundations of the Great Pyramid of Meereen were massive and thick to support the weight of the huge structure overhead; even the interior walls were three times thicker than any castle's curtain walls. But Viserion had dug himself a hole in them with flame and claw, a hole big enough to sleep in. - The Dragontamer, ADWD

x

Rhaegal, still chained, was gnawing on the carcass of a bull. The bones on the floor of the pit were deeper than the last time she had been down here, and the walls and floors were black and grey, more ash than brick. They would not hold much longer … but behind them was only earth and stone. Can dragons tunnel through rock, like the firewyrms of old Valyria? She hoped not. - Daenerys VIII, ADWD

+.+.+

"Shall I wash your hair? It is almost time. Reznak mo Reznak and the Green Grace are coming to discuss—"

"—the wedding preparations." Dany sat up with a splash. "I had almost forgotten." Perhaps I wanted to forget. "And after them, I am to dine with Hizdahr." She sighed. "Irri, bring the green tokar, the silk one fringed with Myrish lace."

"That one is being repaired, Khaleesi. The lace was torn. The blue tokar has been cleaned."

"Blue, then. They will be just as pleased."

Should she be wearing green in the presence of Galazza Galare?

Across the pit the Graces sat in flowing robes of many colors, clustered around the austere figure of Galazza Galare, who alone amongst them wore the green. - Daenerys IX, ADWD

+.+.+

The priestess and the seneschal were happy to see her garbed in a tokar, a proper Meereenese lady for once, but what they really wanted was to strip her bare. Daenerys heard them out, incredulous. When they were done, she said, "I have no wish to give offense, but I will not present myself naked to Hizdahr's mother and sisters."

"But," said Reznak mo Reznak, blinking, "but you must, Your Worship. Before a marriage it is traditional for the women of the man's house to examine the bride's womb and, ah … her female parts. To ascertain that they are well formed and, ah …"

"… fertile," finished Galazza Galare. "An ancient ritual, Your Radiance. Three Graces shall be present to witness the examination and say the proper prayers."

"Yes," said Reznak, "and afterward there is a special cake. A women's cake, baked only for betrothals. Men are not allowed to taste it. I am told it is delicious. Magical."

And if my womb is withered and my female parts accursed, is there a special cake for that as well? "Hizdahr zo Loraq may inspect my women's parts after we are wed." Khal Drogo found no fault with them, why should he? "Let his mother and his sisters examine one another and share the special cake. I shall not be eating it. Nor shall I wash the noble Hizdahr's noble feet."

I'm torn.

I don't blame her at all for not wanting to observe these specific traditions.

On the other hand, I remember this girl enthusiastically eating a raw stallion heart and fucking Khal Drogo with an audience to immerse herself into Dothraki culture.

I won't touch this one, how about that?

+.+.+

"Magnificence, you do not understand," protested Reznak. "The washing of the feet is hallowed by tradition. It signifies that you shall be your husband's handmaid. The wedding garb is fraught with meaning too. The bride is dressed in dark red veils above a tokar of white silk, fringed with baby pearls."

The queen of the rabbits must not be wed without her floppy ears. "All those pearls will make me rattle when I walk."

"The pearls symbolize fertility. The more pearls Your Worship wears, the more healthy children she will bear."

"Why would I want a hundred children?"

That's the thing about Daenerys Targaryen,

Afterward, as Jhiqui was patting Daenerys dry, Irri approached with her tokar. Dany envied the Dothraki maids their loose sandsilk trousers and painted vests. They would be much cooler than her in her tokar, with its heavy fringe of baby pearls. "Help me wind this round myself, please. I cannot manage all these pearls by myself."

[...]

"Have my silver saddled. I would not go to my lord husband upon the backs of bearers."

"Your Grace," said Missandei, "this one is so sorry, but you cannot ride in a tokar."

The little scribe was right, as she so often was. The tokar was not a garment meant for horseback. Dany made a face. - Daenerys VII, ADWD

she's only a mother to dragons.

+.+.+

Dany turned to the Green Grace. "If we should wed by Westerosi rites …"

"The gods of Ghis would deem it no true union."

I hope the old gods reach the same verdict.

+.+.+

Galazza Galare's face was hidden behind a veil of green silk. Only her eyes showed, green and wise and sad. "In the eyes of the city you would be the noble Hizdahr's concubine, not his lawful wedded wife. Your children would be bastards. Your Worship must marry Hizdahr in the Temple of the Graces, with all the nobility of Meereen on hand to bear witness to your union."

Get the heads of all the noble houses out of their pyramids on some pretext, Daario had said. The dragon's words are fire and blood. Dany pushed the thought aside.

+.+.+

"One more small matter, Your Worship," said Reznak. "To celebrate your nuptials, it would be most fitting if you would allow the fighting pits to open once again. It would be your wedding gift to Hizdahr and to your loving people, a sign that you had embraced the ancient ways and customs of Meereen."

"And most pleasing to the gods as well," the Green Grace added in her soft and kindly voice.

A bride price paid in blood. Daenerys was weary of fighting this battle. Even Ser Barristan did not think she could win. "No ruler can make a people good," Selmy had told her. "Baelor the Blessed prayed and fasted and built the Seven as splendid a temple as any gods could wish for, yet he could not put an end to war and want."

This guy might be the worst.

How does praying, fasting, and building a new temple help anyone? You bootlicking ham.

+.+.+

Dany told him of her meeting with Reznak and the Green Grace as she was pouring wine for him. "These rituals are empty," Hizdahr declared, "just the sort of thing we must sweep aside. Meereen has been steeped in these foolish old traditions for too long." He kissed her hand and said, "Daenerys, my queen, I will gladly wash you from head to heel if that is what I must do to be your king and consort."

He does.

The Graces brought forth an ivory chair and a golden bowl. Holding her tokar daintily so as not to tread upon its fringes, Daenerys Targaryen eased herself onto the chair's plush velvet seat, and Hizdahr zo Loraq went to his knees, unlaced her sandals, and washed her feet whilst fifty eunuchs sang and ten thousand eyes looked on. He has gentle hands, she mused, as warm fragrant oils ran between her toes. If he has a gentle heart as well, I may grow fond of him in time. - Daenerys VII, ADWD

Good on him.

As far as political marriages go, Hizdahr doesn't seem half bad.

+.+.+

Hizdahr crossed his long legs. He looked pleased with himself. "Yunkai will give us peace, but for a price. The disruption of the slave trade has caused great injury throughout the civilized world. Yunkai and her allies will require an indemnity of us, to be paid in gold and gemstones."

Gold and gems were easy. "What else?"

"The Yunkai'i will resume slaving, as before. Astapor will be rebuilt, as a slave city. You will not interfere."

"The Yunkai'i resumed their slaving before I was two leagues from their city. Did I turn back? King Cleon begged me to join with him against them, and I turned a deaf ear to his pleas. I want no war with Yunkai. How many times must I say it? What promises do they require?"

Major concession, but like she points out, it's a concession she already made.

You can be anti-slavery and still acknowledge this is a necessary step if she's to achieve long-term systemic change and peace.

+.+.+

"Be that as it may, they do not trust you. The men of New Ghis feel the same. Words are wind, as you yourself have so oft said. No words of yours will secure this peace for Meereen. Your foes require deeds. They would see us wed, and they would see me crowned as king, to rule beside you."

Dany filled his wine cup again, wanting nothing so much as to pour the flagon over his head and drown his complacent smile. "Marriage or carnage. A wedding or a war. Are those my choices?"

Am I supposed to feel bad for her? Is this supposed to feel like some great sacrifice that isn't totally standard within a feudal society?

Catelyn // Lysa // Sansa // Arya // Cersei // Myrcella // Margaery // Arianne // Asha

With the exception of Lysa's second marriage, do you see a single woman here who picked her husband?

Hizdahr zo Loraq is not gay, or a drunken abusive adulterer, or a dying corpse, or a psychopath, or 450lbs, or Tyrion Lannister. I think I'll save my tears on this one.

+.+.+

"Your Grace," he said, bowing, "I am sorry to disturb you, but I thought that you would want to know at once. The Stormcrows have returned to the city, with word of the foe. The Yunkishmen are on the march, just as we had feared."

A flicker of annoyance crossed the noble face of Hizdahr zo Loraq. "The queen is at her supper. These sellswords can wait."

Ser Barristan ignored him. "I asked Lord Daario to make his report to me, as Your Grace had commanded. He laughed and said that he would write it out in his own blood if Your Grace would send your little scribe to show him how to make the letters."

Looks like you have a choice to make! Hizdahr or the sellsword.

+.+.+

"Blood?" said Dany, horrified. "Is that a jape? No. No, don't tell me, I must see him for myself." She was a young girl, and alone, and young girls can change their minds. "Convene my captains and commanders. Hizdahr, I know you will forgive me."

"Meereen must come first." Hizdahr smiled genially. "We will have other nights. A thousand nights."

"Ser Barristan will show you out." Dany hurried off, calling for her handmaids. She would not welcome her captain home in a tokar. In the end she tried a dozen gowns before she found one she liked, but she refused the crown that Jhiqui offered her.

Yeah, thought so.

You are either a young girl or a queen. You don't get to be both.

+.+.+

"You're hurt," she gasped.

"This?" Daario touched his temple. "A crossbowman tried to put a quarrel through my eye, but I outrode it. I was hurrying home to my queen, to bask in the warmth of her smile." 

Bella Bergolts

+.+.+

"This blood is not mine. One of my serjeants said we should go over to the Yunkai'i, so I reached down his throat and pulled his heart out. I meant to bring it to you as a gift for my silver queen, but four of the Cats cut me off and came snarling and spitting after me. One almost caught me, so I threw the heart into his face."

I don't believe this story.

+.+.+

"Very gallant," said Ser Barristan, in a tone that suggested it was anything but, "but do you have tidings for Her Grace?"

"Hard tidings, Ser Grandfather. Astapor is gone, and the slavers are coming north in strength."

Is she going to let that slide?

+.+.+

"More turncloaks?"

"More brave men drawn to your noble cause. My queen will like them. One is an axeman from the Basilisk Isles, a brute, bigger than Belwas. You should see him. Some Westerosi too, a score or more. Deserters from the Windblown, unhappy with the Yunkai'i. They'll make good Stormcrows."

It's Quentyn!

Is that big brute with an axe supposed to remind me of Victarion?

+.+.+

Ser Barristan frowned at Daario. "Captain, you made mention of four free companies. We know of only three. The Windblown, the Long Lances, and the Company of the Cat."

"Ser Grandfather knows how to count. The Second Sons have gone over to the Yunkai'i." Daario turned his head and spat. "That's for Brown Ben Plumm. When next I see his ugly face I will open him from throat to groin and rip out his black heart."

Dany tried to speak and found no words. She remembered Ben's face the last time she had seen it. It was a warm face, a face I trusted. Dark skin and white hair, the broken nose, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. Even the dragons had been fond of old Brown Ben, who liked to boast that he had a drop of dragon blood himself. Three treasons will you know. Once for gold and once for blood and once for love. Was Plumm the third treason, or the second? And what did that make Ser Jorah, her gruff old bear? Would she never have a friend that she could trust? What good are prophecies if you cannot make sense of them? If I marry Hizdahr before the sun comes up, will all these armies melt away like morning dew and let me rule in peace?

I'd caution against trusting men the dragons are fond of. :)

How would Brown Ben Plumm be her treason for love? She's so bad at this, it's astounding.

Brown Ben Plumm could be her treason for gold, but let's be real - he's not.

Ser Grandfather knows how to count.

Barristan's been teleported back to Joffrey and Cersei's court. Good.

+.+.+

"Continue as we planned. Gather food, as much as you can." If I look back I am lost. "We must close the gates and put every fighting man upon the walls. No one enters, no one leaves."

The hall was quiet for a moment. The men looked at one another. Then Reznak said, "What of the Astapori?"

She wanted to scream, to gnash her teeth and tear her clothes and beat upon the floor. Instead she said, "Close the gates. Will you make me say it thrice?" They were her children, but she could not help them now. "Leave me. Daario, remain. That cut should be washed, and I have more questions for you."

I'm not sure I can criticize her for this. Abandoning the common folk is normally frowned upon, but the bloody flux complicates this.

I don't know, how do you guys feel about it?

+.+.+

"Your clothes are stained with blood," she told Daario. "Take them off."

"Only if you do the same." He kissed her.

His hair smelled of blood and smoke and horse, and his mouth was hard and hot on hers. Dany trembled in his arms. When they broke apart, she said, "I thought you would be the one to betray me. Once for blood and once for gold and once for love, the warlocks said. I thought … I never thought Brown Ben. Even my dragons seemed to trust him." 

The story's not over yet, Daenerys.

Even my dragons seemed to trust him.

Oh no, repeated. Jon? Euron?

+.+.+

She clutched her captain by the shoulders. "Promise me that you will never turn against me. I could not bear that. Promise me."

"Never, my love."

That was not a promise.

+.+.+

She believed him.

How can I question someone with such great intuition?

+.+.+

"I swore that I should wed Hizdahr zo Loraq if he gave me ninety days of peace, but now … I wanted you from the first time that I saw you, but you were a sellsword, fickle, treacherous. You boasted that you'd had a hundred women."

"A hundred?" Daario chuckled through his purple beard. "I lied, sweet queen. It was a thousand. But never once a dragon."

She raised her lips to his. "What are you waiting for?"

Fitting his beard switched to purple.

The fandom downplays how truly awful Daario is, and how damning this is to her character.

Final thoughts:

Let's assume two things.

Daenerys and Euron clash before Daenerys meets Jon.

Jon loses an eye before meeting Daenerys.

Would she not be incredibly triggered by his eyepatch? I need this.

-> return to menu <-

#operation stumpy re-read #adwd #daenerys vi

[by-glass-and-waves]

oh dude dude what do you MEAN "sorry guys who are looking for delicious Courtship/Restart goodies" I LOVE DEPRESSION QUEST, and i love the fact that theres someone else out there that has a runaway narinder AU

the idea of a completely power hungry lamb who disregards narinder as a person is so uncommon, i dont think ive actually seen that dynamic played out in a story/hc tbh ??? so i am LIVING for this, it truly is the spice of life

n like letting him runaway n waits for him to come crawling back??? absolutely maliciously delicious content

but nARINDER OH NARINDER angry, break down, self imploding beloved!!! again there isnt enough completely broken down ISOLATED(emotionally) conceded narinders, so many au's have him conceded, but they always including the lamb trying to get him comfortable and okay, never narinder just being tolerated and treated like property or a trophy and i love that fucked up dynamic

i'd really love to know more abt baal and ayms place in the cult too, are they like mini trophies ? or are they just "eh another follower"

either way the idea of narinder self imploding to the point of complete isolation (running away) is such a good idea, im living for it !!! and the idea of a ratoo & narinder friendship from this has consumed my brain greatly, i love that idea i actually had a brain wave pic pop up in my brain, so i'll draw fanart of this AU later bc i adore it

WHOA I was at work and I was like "I got an aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" oh man I'm glad you really like the idea! I think I did see some fics like this (well not Narinder dips fics)

I will let you know that these qs making me go "wait hm this would fit into the AU better than my original ideas" so please bear with me!! at any rate omg aw thank you for loving these idees maybe I should just masterpost and mark spoilers for whatever comes to mind here also this is gonna be a long answer post pardon me

so spoilers for Depression Quest and Courtship I guess?

also trigger warning: depression, thoughts of self harm, mentions of mental breakdown

So this is me not reading cotl shit in like, literally months in order to try to preserve my headcanonideas like a loser but damn whoaaa I'm happy that you really like this AU

The initial idea actually did have just plain old Lamb being all okay bb i'll be here waiting for you when you ready I won't push you, I'll let you run away and live your life bb just want you to be happy uwu like they did want Narinder to love them back but they were fine with just making him happy and brought back the Bishops and stuff so they could reconcile but as said before, things didn't seem the same for them

Then as Courtship took form I kind of moved those kinds of feelings Lamb had to the new AU and really honestly removed them from the equation because I wanted to focus on Narinder and Getting Over It™ and just living his own fucking life instead

What did remain was Narinder's complete and absolute breakdown when he locks himself into the house they built for him and his eventual escape. Like goddamn, I was like this man needs to break

The amount of broken furniture, crying and screaming onto the floor and bed, throwing items at whoever manages to get into the house, laying down and staring at the ceiling in a catatonic state, etc

I liked the idea of him meeting other people and them remarking on his fallen status or having to hide his identity when interacting or going to public places and it's pretty much how I came up with the Ratoo encounter/friendship

Imagine Kudaai laughing when he requests a scythe and giving him the smallest, lightest one for his weak upper extremities

addendum: like after escaping he does get better like he runs into kudaai and gets scythe at least but he still sucks since his hands/arms more likely to spaz more when he exerts himself too much (aka combat)

Imagine Narinder trying to stay inconspicuous when he goes to Plimbo's stall at the Lighthouse, etc

Once the idea of resurrecting the Bishops came up around the time I started writing Courtship I kind of went, tbh Lamb would only do that to get Narinder back and then that idea of the Lamb just stuck

The Lamb knew where he was the entire time. The Lamb let him think he was finally free from them. The Lamb decided to uproot his life when he thought he finally found peace (by reintroducing his siblings) and from there the Lamb became the kind of famous hero/whatever who would 100% use Narinder as a trophy SO and show them off while he feels awful and drinks every night to cope

i'd really love to know more abt baal and ayms place in the cult too, are they like mini trophies ? or are they just "eh another follower"

So initial idea was that Baal and Aym weren't crazy about it but came around after Lamb invited Forneus for a visit, then they would be like yes Master should see how good Lamb is

Now thinking it over, it could have a good twist to it:

Baal and Aym think that Narinder should come around because Lamb is a good person and his life would improve

In this, his guardians become his jailers. They've become the ones most actively working for his "rehabilitation", and Narinder hates it because he knows it's another way for the Lamb to break him. He's thinking that it's their mortality that made them cave so easily.

Once Narinder makes it out, they want to make their presence known once they find him, but Lamb explicitly commands them not to until they say it's time. So they go and check on him and obvs this is stwess for Narinder since he feels like he's being watched

Still though, Depression Quest is more Narinder-based than Narinder/Lamb relationship-based because it's him trying to live in a new Lamb-ruled world while trying not to show off his shitty power level or something, Lamb didn't really pull up much once he gets out except for really sending Baal and Aym to keep tabs on him and maybe probably when the Bishops are resurrected but even then it's just like... there's still this kind of sad underlying everything.

So fun fact: a few of Courtship's ideas originated in Depression Quest! Such as the shared love for gardening/camellias by Leshy and Narinder, and the relationship/dynamic between Kallamar and Narinder. I don't know why but their relationship felt fucking devastating once I came up with it hence why I think Chapter 9/Kallamar's quest in Courtship has been my favorite to read and write so far.

Courtship and Depression Quest do share quite a few things, so I'm worried I might echo too much of the same shit should I actually come to write it. While writing out this answer I posted an unedited bit on a prototype for Leshy quest and you may see some parallels to the one for Courtship :o

the idea of a ratoo & narinder friendship from this has consumed my brain greatly, i love that idea i actually had a brain wave pic pop up in my brain, so i'll draw fanart of this AU later bc i adore it

pls show me when you done I want it I'm so glad you like it and yes Ratoo and Narinder friendship is one and only

I think there was more but it's like 2am and I have to wake up in like 3 hours and I think I should just do a fucking masterpost on these AUs

#cult of the lamb #cotl #fanfic notes #cotl courtship #cotl depression quest #tw depression #cw depression #tw self destructive behavior #cw self destruction #i spent too long writing this answer #i want to write #i want to doodle #i want to ideas... #i need to sleep

[goremet-chef]

tw for death i just need to get these thoughts out of my head for now

so, my great grandma passed away the other day. i dont feel like i deserve any "sorry for yr loss" shit cuz like.. truth be told i didnt like her that much. she was an old conservative white woman, im sure you know what i mean by that. i used to have to leave the living room to go cry in the bathroom cuz ofthe shit she said about trans people

she didnt know i was trans so maybe if she did it wouldve been different, but regardless

shes dead now, and im just. really dissociated tbh. and a little sad. and a little angry

its just. i mean it sounds so stupid to say "oh death is traumatic for me" because death is traumatic for pretty much everyone i think? its scary. terrifying. and you can never outrun it, no matter what

i mentioned this in a different post, but my fear of death started INCREDIBLY early, like no kid should be scared thinking about that stuff but i was. and i asked her specifically after having a dream where she was like. brutally murdered, i asked her if she was going to die soon and she laughed a little and said no

i was only a little kid back then but it. i dont know how to describe this. knowing that the answer has changed is so... suffocating. death catches up with everyone and every time it proves that in my life i just get more and more stressed

and i mean, i cant lie. i know i didnt like her but i used to. i used to really love her, and i know she really loved me. i was her favorite, im pretty sure. this still hurts. i dont think i deserve any condolences or whatever cuz. i hadnt seen her for a whole year, up until recently. i purposefully stayed home and away instead of visiting cuz i just didnt like being around someone like her. that hasnt changed, but im still glad i got to see her one last time. i saw her apparently 2 days before she died, which is traumatic on its own

my brain has such a hard time processing the.. finality of it. she told me she liked my hair and how it was shorter and it felt good. when we left cuz her morphine was kicking in and she was out of it, i hugged her and told her i loved her, and she said she loved me too. her voice was quiet and whispery, honestly. weak, yknow how it is. she had lung cancer, idk why its always cancer

its scary to have my relatives slowly dropping dead one by one. like.. my family is getting smaller, isnt that terrifying? i dont know how to handle this. i know its a long ways away but my mind is just.. waiting with bated breath for when it takes my nana, and my grandma, and my mom, my siblings. etc

ive tried so hard to come to terms with this thing and it. its all for nothing because no matter how i look at it, no matter the optimism or the peace or WHATEVER, im still terrified of it. its natural, it happens to everyone, every single living thing on this planet will die eventually. its so scary, i dont want to die. i dont want the people i love to die, but its not like i get a say in it

now shes gone, the last moments i spent with her are like.. haunting my brain. and i feel GUILT, especially. i think i was valid in not wanting to see her for so long, i dont feel particularly guilty for that. but i feel guilty that even after all that time, she still loved me. i guess im glad she never knew how i really felt about her

whats even worse? the other day, im assuming the day she died, i overheard my mom talking to her on the phone

and it was like.. idk it made me sick? hearing my mom telling her in this like.. not nonchalant but. not how someone whos grandma is dying real time would sound id imagine. her telling her that shes gotta spread her wings, and go meet grandpa, and watch over us

i dont know if she was dead when my mom said it or not, or maybe she was fading then and there, but. it made me so sad. what if she could hear? i guess she probably wouldnt, the drugs made her very.. gone. but like. if she could, the last thing she wouldve heard was someone telling her shes going to die

how terrifying is that? im still stuck up on that. if i was dying would my mom say something like that to me? i dont wanna think about it

it makes me mad, though

i guess she died on call with my mom but. no one mentioned anything about it until today, and i had to go out of my way to literally ASK if she was dead

why do they keep doing this to me? i have a fucking right to know. they did it with artemis too. when my grandmas cat got put down cuz of her heart failure, NO ONE told me until a few days later when my sibling was like "did you hear about artemis?" and my heart sank cuz.. thats never a good thing to hear and they were like "yeah idk why nobody told you? but grandma put her down"

i still havent really processed her death, i fell back on escapism and dissociation, i dont know if im ready for that yet

why wouldnt you tell me? why dont i have the right to know? why dont they tell me anything anymore, my bedroom is right next to yours

its so frustrating. even if it hurts me, LET IT hurt me. let me grieve and mourn, its what im supposed to do. i cant tell if its a sheltering thing or if they genuinely just. feel like it doesnt matter to tell me or not. its so upsetting man

#tw death #death #vent

[crayonverse]

Alright nobody asked or actually cares but here’s a bunch of my physical video games that I love

(long post)

Starting off weak: a bunch of my normal sims stuff. I have a lot of the sims 3 packs but they’re at my dads house (Along my with supernatural s1-15). i also have more sims 4 because i, stupidly, paid money for them (and i also dont understand how to pirate the rest)

Fantasy Life (best toh game ever I love it so much also one of the characters was accidentally trans coded please play this game🙏🙏h). also i could never complete the Bratz ponyz. i just kept cleaning the horses and then gave up lmao

Xbox games I can’t play because I don’t have an Xbox at my Mums and the one at my dads broke. I hope to find a new one sometime🫶. but also Viva Pinata is a brilliant game and is the best ever actually. everyone needs to a look a whirlim forever

Most goated Pokémon game ever. Real. God it’s so much fun I love this game sm. It was one of my first ever Pokémon games and I loved just running around and making friends. Truly amazing

Not games but movies I have. That arceus + the Lucario and mew movie were my only Pokémon media n shit. I rewatched them sm

When wii party and worms battle came out you know the sleepover got so good. the diseny enchatned princess was my childhood i just kept making a new princess and running around doing nothing

Switch games!!!!!!! I really like Pokémon games and eevee is my favourite little guy ever. i can never get far in ary bc my switch doesnt have enough space to keep playing :( it does seem cute with the small time i can play through

Scribblenauts has been like. One of my fav game series. Maxwell ur a sweet little man and I love him. also nintendogs those games have been so cute throughout my life. i love animals

i also consisently buy every single one of each of these games in their series bc they always slap so hard

The imagine series is also a staple those fucking things r COOL. ive just recently restarted my tomodachi island <3

PS3 stuff. Me and my dad used to play Rayman together

imagine teacher was my fav out of the imagine games i have. i got so invested in those fake preschoolers (the pottery level is the suckiest tho i hate it). moshi monsters cool tho i like it

Mod Nation was my mysims racing since i didnt have it and its. actually kinda fun. i think it also had an online element but idk if the servers are still active at this point. bugsnax is also revoulutionary play it play it play it play it

diseny universe was like a big game i kept trying to play with my friends but i think they fucking hated it LOL

my time at portia goated (saving up for the sequel rn)

outer worlds was also one of the only games i full on cried at the end. also at the time i ID'd as a asexual lesbian and Parvati, who was an asexual lesbian, made me feel very seen at the time. shes still my fav companion from that game.

lego dc supervillains has been my fav lego game so far and i hope more lego games are like it in the future because it was great

my lbp stack💪💪💪 i havent done much of A Big Adventure yet bc its more of an adventure game than the others and also you cant save normally in the game For Some Reason. like you cant just. save and quit. idk why that isnt in the game.

sorry for showing you all danganronpa

this has been my most recent video game. my dad went garage sale hunting and came back with two of these so i just stole one out of his boxes and took it home. havent played it yet but it looks cool

my sims games 💪💪💪💪💪💪 yes the fact that skyheroes is on the ps3 does in fact annoy me greatly no i will not tell my lovely mother that at all

ok yeah thats all the ones i want to show. i do have a bunch of other stuff but theyre not that cool

[nerosdayinanime]

I know I wasn't the person that originally asked about Giyuucore songs but that post caught my interest because you mentioned a lot of songs and some of my favorites👀

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on Gilded Lily! I've seen it taken in a couple different contexts online but idk anyone that listens to it. After Dark is another banger but I never considered thinking of it as Giyuucore. the same thing with Little Dark Age talk about blorbo, think about blorbo :)

also I listened to The Mute and The Missing Road for the tag you left on my one drabble and 😭 i see it so clearly with how so socially awkward little blorbo is

usually i think of my music taste as mainstream but not like. Popular mainstream yk? usually at least, since i started only really using spotify it kinda just Sticks with popular... (i just think the music i listen to its pretty all over the place) anyway-

Gilded Lily got me from the chorus haven't i given enough? giyuu gives his all yet still all the shit that happens to him and the people he loves... with him in mind the lyric reads as more a polite way of asking higher powers 'havent you taken enough from me?' yk?

always the fool with the slowest heart hes always behind his peers and misunderstood, negative feedback loop of hiding further in himself and straying further behind

but i know youll take me with you when he loves he gives a piece of himself, so when they're lost they take a piece of him with them i know ill take you with me the haori he so dearly cares for

we'll live in spaces between walls how ghosts are respected as existing in a third place, the border between life and death- how giyuu does something similar, as close as a ghost you can get without death- hes treats himself the same as the ghosts that haunt him

last lyric for gilded lily is manga spoliers and iirc youre an anime-only, so ill keep that one under wraps lmao

-------

After Dark is all dreams and broken memories, the echo-y voice and faraway sound of the piano all tinged with melancholy (probably shoulda put it with the sabigiyuu playlist lmao)

i see you, you see me - how pleasant, this feeling - the moment you hold me - i missed you, im sorry - ive given what I have - i showed you I'm growing - the ashes fall slowly - as your voice consoles me only alive in his dreams, the reprieve of being in sabito's arms hurts from its fleeting nature. his chance at trying to right his wrongs of being too weak, a demon's dying ashes as proof, sabito's voice (a faded memory of, distorted with unfamiliarity) telling him he doesnt need to prove himself of anything

as the hours pass - i will let you know - that i need to ask - before I'm alone - how it feels to rest - on your patient lips  - to eternal bliss - im so glad to know the false feeling of lips against his, only as good as a dream gets. (he knows it isnt real, it doesnt feel real, its heaven nonetheless) a kiss that never happened, never will happen, hes just happy to have known him at all (even if the memories are so painful)

we're swaying to drum beats - in motion, im feeling - my patience controlling - the question, i wont speak two hearts in sync as their sword swings, giyuu always holds his tounge until the perfect moment (a perfect moment doesnt exist)

we're telling the stories - our laughter, he knows me - we're leaving, we're talking - youre closer, it's calming reliving faded memories- happy times and the march to their shared grave. the impeding dread of Knowing simmers to an empty lull when their hands brush as they walk

the night will hold us close and the stars will guide us home - ive been waiting for this moment, we're finally alone - i turn to ask the question, so anxious, my thoughts a calm rest with another painful dream of a man that doesnt exist

your lips were soft like winter, in your passion, i was lost their lips meet, painfully cold and oh so dead against his, only for a moment. he opens his eyes to the crystal clear memory of the determined fire behind rounded eyes before he turned. white haori disappearing to the forest, vision blurred, red trailed down his face, what was he supposed to do now?

-------

Little Dark Age is super gloomy and sorta like. corrupted church vibes. idk how to explain that. the tone of voice singing keeping the note flat (except in the chorus) the background music echoing itself it just overall reminds me of devilman crybaby's corrupted demonic vibe. Smells Blood(kensuke ushio). dvmcb has a more Taken And Run By Evil/Satan kinda vibe whereas little dark age is more God Left Us

the lyrics are a narration, his own thoughts and feelings he never speaks aloud but says if you listen close enough.

the ruins of the day, painted with a scar dont need to explain that one

and, the more i straighten out, the less it wants to try the amount of willpower it takes him to just keep going

oh-oh, forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain - just know that if you hide, it doesnt go away/i grieve in stereo, the stereo sounds strange - you know that if it hides, it doesn't go away self-narration, how much he still hurts despite hardening his heart against it all

when you get out of bed, dont end up stranded - horrified. with each stone. on the stage - my little dark age stranded in the stagelight, stone upon stone tied to him always weighing him down

specifically ties with the other lyric- come find us heading for the bridge, bring a stone, all the rage, my little dark age he thinks he deserves it, peoples hatred and anger at his failure, he ties the stones himself

if I get out of bed, you'll see me standing all alone, horrified, on the stage, my little dark age all of this song ties specifically to this one imagery i have of sabito and giyuu and hashira overall- theyre the ones that bare the light that destroys demons. with their strength they cast shadows for other slayers and innocent people to hide behind, still safely in the light but not being burned by it as they are.

Giyuu and Sabito were supposed to bare that light together, strengthened by eachother casting shadows where the other's weakest and baring the burn with eachother side by side, they were supposed to cast a shadow large enough to shield everyone they cared for, to not lose everyone they love again.

this line was the start of it all- waking up alone on the stage being wholly burned by the light with no respite. the blinding light instead signaling his little dark age

also yeah!!! the self-isolating, lonely theme of those songs is literally just Him. it speaks for itself so clearly i dont even know how i could explain it to someone who knows giyuu but doesnt understand how The Mute & The Missing Road relate to him. its just. Its Him man. you gotta believe me. if you only listen with your ears, i cant get in - and a heart always holds, onto missing roads MAN CMON ITS RIGHT THERE-

#tomioka giyuu #loserboy giyuu posting #fratboy sabito posting #i think giyuu in regards to sabito puts him on a pedestal. worships him as a god and says he'll never compare to. devoted to a fault. #also i dont like how much i Dont think of tsutako w these songs bc she was literally The Start of it. she was his everything and she gave #her all for his wellbeing and it just set him to believe he didnt fucking deserve it. his life shouldnt have costed *hers* in his #eyes and that shaped his attitude towards himself for the rest of his life #also just now realizing i have Slow Doown(crx) in giyuucore and Hurry Hurry(air traffic controller) in sabitocore #BRO ITS FUCKING- #dude #'ooh im gonna miss something - if i keep bumping - the most significant stuff #all my friends and all the loose ends - and this love of mine- cause im running out of time' #'who am i? am i still the same guy? or have i lost something as i keep stomping #mind and health - every bit of myself - i ignore the signs as im running out of time' #'a year goes by - you wonder why - not much is done - youve run too much - in parallel - now hurry hurry is your hell' #vs #'when i see you speeding by - all i do is wave goodbye - i wish i could buy some time - enough to get it right #oh slow down - slow down - slow down - oh slow down - slow down - slow down' #the juxtaposition #sabito needing to do as much as he possibly can with the people he cares about to feel like they did enough together #giyuu needing the people he cares about to slow down and just savor & bask in the time they have together #both of them feeling like the time they share with others are limited- yet going about it in completely different ways #both wanting to be able to do something about it- but sabito pushing himself to do it all to the point it kills him while giyuu #pushes himself but never truly believes it'll amount to anything worthwhile #-------nsfw further tags------- #also find it exceedingly amusing that it fits my giyuu overstim kink & sabito denial kink hc<3 #sabito's great at keeping it going while giyuu knows how to drag it out~ theyr perfect 4 eachother<3<3 #man im *really* bad at not making everything about sabigiyuu lmao

[thescarlettdetective]

Hi im very depressed today so youre all getting my rant

You know for people who claim that taylor swift is mid at best yall seem to like complaining about her a lot. And trust me i have my criticisms of her and dont disagree that her supposedly progressive politics are watered down and weak and she doesnt put her money where her mouth is, but shes also not actively using her platform to cause harm like a lot of people are. (Jason aldean for example, largely popular country musician, recently released a song that alludes to lynching protestors and i saw stuff about that for like. A day) I think people who hail her as a beacon of progress are annoying and out of touch too but for people who claim not to give a shit about her i just dont get why you care so much when theres so many other things to talk about. It just seems like every other post i see on here is about how people cant stand her and like. Thats fine? Youre allowed to not like popular things this is very much the website for that. But its so constant. I dont see any other mediocre white musicians getting as much flak as she does because people rightfully dont give a shit. Like i do not understand the hype for say, Ariana Grande. And sure ive seen criticisms of her for appropriating black and latino fashion and looks which is absolutely true and should be discussed. But nowhere near at the volume i see it for taylor swift. And most stuff isnt even legitimate criticisms its just people saying how bland they find her music and like. Okay?

(I do personally believe a lot of those takes probably come from people whove only heard her admittedly boring sanitized and cringey radio hits and never delved into her lesser known stuff which is in my opinion far better but i digress)

Also im sorry but finding any opportunity to talk about how much you hate her is just as much of an obsession as those of us who take any chance we can to gush about her. And this isnt directed at anyone in particular its just wack to me how polarizing this woman is when shes Literally Just Some Dude. If shes so boring then why are you still talking about her. You dont have to. If there are people in your life literally shoving taylor swift down your throat take that up with them personally. I know shes hard to escape because yeah shes massively popular but so is. Idk. Harry Styles? And i know nothing about the man. Because i just ignore things i dont give a shit about and ive grown up past my 13 year-old selfs take of “everything thats popular is stupid and im very cool for not liking it”

All this is to say i wish everyone else were just. Normal. About taylor swift- swifties included- so i could be insane about her in peace

#ren speaks #im gonna go lay down in the road now #im just so tired #and people think i have a persecution complex whenever i say taylor swift gets needless amounts of hate but like. #i truly do not see this for any other celebrity that isnt some actual right wing asshole causing harm #i just dont understand whT about her inspires such vitriol in people aside from that they dont get why people like her #and they have to see her everywhere #and i get it! thats annoying! #but it just seems like such a juvenile waste of time to keep harping on this

[calebwittebane]

also like. dont get me wrong im SO glad i cut my abusers out of my loife, that was one of the best decisions ive ever made and my only regret was not doing it sooner - and its actually kind of awesome how it did not in fact ruin my relationship with my other family members, and actually i plan to visit my grandma whom i havent seen in ages and who i was sure was gonna be like upset with me about the whole thing but totally isnt and in fact seems to be rly supportive of it. but like. ive been fucking STRUGGLING. i dont know why. could be college related stress and like having to think a lot about my Tragic Past (mind you its Tragic enough that there are times where talking about it or thinking too hard about it makes me for real physically ill and exhausted for an entire day or even several), but the amount of stress dreams ive been having is insane and ive been going days and WEEKS without being able to even like speak to anyone or answer messages on here (which i feel super bad about) or do extremely basic things.

like i was expecting to immediately feel so energized and relieved, and sure i did at first, and the relief and sense of freedom is palpable and id never go back, but girl i am so far from being Energized. plus like a good 60% of my nightmares these days involve having them back in my life, its something i am SO afraid of, and i still cant shake the feeling that one day im gonna have to talk to them again and like Repent from abandoning them. which i obviously am not gonna. but its just. ive been SO bad at handling stress lately. i get so exhausted so quickly, like to the point of completely shutting down. anything stressful comes up, i just cannot handle it. i feel so WEAK. its like my mind and body have said Enough like Thats It Were Not Doing This Shit Anymore. and i guess thats fair, i mean when i saw a cardiologist in may he was basically like Girl Relax Or You Might Pass Away. but like. man i just slept for 20 hours! thats not okay

[hoshiyoshis]

hellooooo my love — how about pentagon & golcha for the ask game 🌼✨💖

hello my love!!

i ramble too much

for pentagon i'm unfamiliar aside from knowing & loving literally one song (daisy and im 99% sure thats bc of u!!)

I’ll listen to their top song on Spotify & tell you my thoughts

daisy is right underneath shine.... cursed bc i actually realLY WAIT

WAIT IS THIS THE ONE W THE FUCKING???? T*KTOK DANCES OR F*RTNITE DANCES OR WHATEVER???? I RECOGNIZE THT LIL BIT FROM VIDEOS ABT LIKE... KPOP CHOREO IN GENERAL...

oh hey this was the group dawn was a part of. id say i hope he's doing well but i'm actually pretty sure he is lmao

anyway shine slaps and i like the like. chorus ig??? its all good but i recognized the like... one line at the beginning immediately.

I’ll look up photos & tell you who stands out to me

uhhh im looking at group pics like last time which is probably not smart but: guy in the very middle in this picture, the two on the end here, and the guy who looks soft as hell w the blonde hair in this picture... hes kinda got teddy bear vibes in this pic tbh

I’ll tell you if I’d look into them more

i was abt to be like "time to add them to the list" but theyre already there adfkhsdf ill def have to listen more sometime!! shine + daisy are both v good and i feel like i'd enjoy more of their music if i actually sat down and listened fully :0

and for golcha... who r they? haha ive never seen bae seungmin in my life (drops pictures of him + my other beloveds) oh fuck oh shit--

favorite member / bias line

idk who my favorite is rn but its usually between bae seungmin + joochan + donghyun!! do not ask me why i dreamed of jangjun last night. i do not know.

seungmin is v funny and also i love his visuals and vocals and his dancing, joochan honestly seems to be a (cute) mess sometimes (the pasta...) + his vocals as well, and donghyun is a gamer boy and im weak for gamer boys as u may know. also he dance! :) altho i feel like i could def say tht like... all of golcha is funny lmao they are chaotic sometimes and i live for it <3 being bad at mafia is a small price to pay.

which member I’d fight (& why)

.... probably jangjun for dabbing in damdadi. some crimes cannot be forgiven sdfkhsdf he'd probably beat my ass bc i'm p sure the guy works out a lot but i'd still try.

other than that, i dont think there's anyone i'd fight??? i'd feel bad and also they could all def kick my ass unless we're going shorties vs the rest of golcha lmao even tho seungmin is almost definitely taller than me but we could kick his groups ass

favorite song(s)

that feeling + ddara + wannabe are all somewhere in my top golcha songs tbh? ra pam pam + without you also!! :0 but they have a lot of good songs, esp older ones, that im just leaving out lol (with me is on my repeat playlist for a reason...)

favorite thing about the group

god. so like. i feel like its a lil obvious to go 'oh i love their music' but literally i love how strong all of their songs seem to be. damdadi slaps so fuckin hard, especially to debut with? i feel like their choreography is always really on point and even if their line distribution isnt equal, it genuinely feels like they all do get to shine? i think typically its their dancers who get less lines (which makes sense to me) compared to vocalists + rappers, but it never really feels super unfair?

idk they also cover other groups pretty well imo but that might just be me being biased toward them lol i just think abt the time they covered fear by svt sometimes like??? also their aju nice cover... the original def has a distinct sound that u cant replicate but i do appreciate the golcha cover esp bc i think that was way closer to their debut??? proud of them <3

something i’d like to see from them

give my man his solo song. dont be shy. also give jibeom his solo song for ursa. it's what we deserve.

besides that... i dunno. i feel like ra pam pam + ddara both were more in the vein of like. a sexier concept? and i do love them for tht lmao but i wouldn't mind seeing something softer with the full group? more in the realm of "singing in the rain" but it def doesnt have to go tht far imo!! just a warmer like... autumn date-esque concept if that makes sense.

thank u my beloved i am love them and, more importantly, U!!! <3 i hope u are having a good day ily!!

#hoshranghaes.ask #bie 🐝