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caligvlasaqvarivm · 26 days

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Love is Stored in the Cat: A Nepeta Leijon Character Study

I guess these are a series now! I also have a request for Feferi in my inbox that I'll get around to eventually.

SO! Dear, sweet Nepeta.

Nepeta is the troll that is most against the existence of the hemocaste.

I believe the Ultimate Self speech was originally going to be from her, not Davepetasprite^2.

She's bad at shipping.

These all make her extremely impurrtant!!!

So furst of all, I'm going to start with the same disclaimer as my Eridan essay (go read that first!!! It sets up a lot of ideas that I'm expanding on here), which is that the things Hussie says are going to be lowered in value, because he likes to play coy about plot stuff. I'm also not counting anything but the actual text as canon, and even with in that text, I'm counting everything after GAME OVER as soft canon - a suggestion of what would have been, often truncated for time, often a deliberate middle finger to the shitty fandom.

Okay, so with that squared away!

Nepeta Says Fuck The Hemocaste

I'm not going to bother doing a deep dive on Nepeta's characterization, because fur the most part, I think the fandom more or less gets her right - she wears her heart (h33h33) on her sl33ve, after all! She's a very sweet little catgirl who loves roleplay and shipping, who is also a vicious hunter of wild beasts and lives in a cave. She's very nice and friendly, but has a tough streak and a spine.

She also says fuck the hemocaste, why does that even exist:

CT: D --> Your fraternization with the base classes have 100sened your morals, can't you see this AC: :33 < no! i dont care, they are fun AC: :33 < and i dont know anything about classes or bases or blood color, it doesn't matter! AC: :33 < what does gr33n blood even mean! it doesnt mean anything to me and it shouldnt mean anything to anyone else!

This is a radical stance not outright shared by any of the other trolls. Aradia calls highbloods "hateful sn0bs" that she and Tavros shouldn't have "ever had anything t0 d0 with", the highbloods are, of course, all casteist to varying degrees, and even Karkat seems fairly accepting of the class divide, at one point taunting Vriska that her rejection from the blue team is "ANOTHER INFURIATING VICTORY FOR GUTTER BLOOD OVER ARISTOCRACY". Not to mention his long-held dream of becoming a threshecutioner.

Even Feferi, despite saying to Eridan that "W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!!", is actually perfectly comfortable with the caste system's existence, comparing having to stop using her royal typing quirk to "peasant-IFICATING" herself - and let's not forget that a Beforus under her rule had its caste system 100% intact.

This means that Nepeta is the ONLY troll who has said, in no uncertain terms, that the caste system should not exist. It's stupid, it's bad, and it doesn't meowtter!

AND SHE'S RIGHT.

But she's never able to fully express this opinion, which brings us to:

A COMPLICKATED RELATIONSHIP WITH EQUIUS

Now, before I say anything, I must insist that I do believe these two work as good moirails. That does not, however, stop them from being 13, and therefore, being poor to each other the way 13-year-olds sometimes are. I don't think they should break up; I think they should re-examine certain dynamics, and I think they need some space to breathe apart from each other.

Equius has a lot of problems, which I won't get into overmuch here, because... that's a whole essay on its own (are you people seeing a trend yet). But with regards to Nepeta specifically, he's extremely controlling and protective, to the point where she's a little scared of him before the game begins:

AC: :33 < well it does sound like it will be a lot of fun but i think i should get purrmission first GC: BL4R!!!!! GC: TH4TS SO STUP1D GC: H3S NOT TH3 BOSS OF YOU AC: :33 < i know! AC: :33 < but still im kind of scared of him and i think purrhaps its best to just run it by him first so there isnt a kerfuffle about it or anything

She's also afraid to tell him about her crush on Karkat, since she knows he doesn't like Karkat:

AC: :33 < well AC: :33 < i have never told anybody this not even my moirail AC: :33 < heh, actually hes the LAST guy i might tell, he so wouldnt appurrve X33 AC: :33 < but yes i have liked somebody for quite some time, but alas he doesnt know it

By the time they end their game, she's gotten over this fear, seeing as she spends many hours curled up with Equius in a pile of robotics parts, but it still must be noted that they have some issues in their relationship that were never resolved, primarily on Equius's end. What this means for Nepeta, however, is that in addition to setting her up as the most outright anti-classism troll, the comic sets her up to be socially isolated due to her moirail's paranoia about letting her associate with both lowbloods (seeing them as bad influences) OR other highbloods, seeing them as dangerous.

He's not entirely wrong - his refusal to allow her to participate in FLARP kept her from winding up entangled in the horrible chain of revenge, as Tavros alludes:

AT: iT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST, AT: tHAT YOU LISTEN TO HIM, AC: :33 < i dont know AC: :33 < you think so? AT: wELL, AT: iF YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM BEFORE, AT: yOU MIGHT HAVE PLAYED GAMES WITH US BEFORE, AT: aND SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU, AC: :33 < hmm purrhaps

But he's still wrong. And it's probably an uncontrolled manifestation of his Heir of Void abilities - he's both consciously and unconsciously hiding her from other people.

This isn't to say she doesn't stand up for herself! Many of her discussions with Equius are pseudo-arguments, and she does get her way often enough, managing to get him to roleplay with her, and managing to get him back in the roboti% pile to talk about his feelings about Aradia. She also talks to the humans explicitly against Equius's orders, although she's keeping it a sneakret from him:

NEPETA: :33 < but equius already furbid me from doing that :(( NEPETA: :33 < not that i am listening to him, but shhhhh! :33 KARKAT: WAIT, HE DID? KARKAT: OK, THEN AS YOUR LEADER I ORDER YOU TO RP WITH THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. BE AS OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT AS YOU CAN. NEPETA: :33 < yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

But the fact that she has to tiptoe around him like this speaks to them having issues in their relationship that go unexamined and unresolved, especially since it's clear that Nepeta really would like to be friends with more people, were Equius not getting in her way. So, even though I do think they are good moirails for each other - they clearly genuinely, deeply care about one another. But they could use some relationship counselling.

In fact, Jasprosesprite^2 outright calls her lonely:

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Or the girl who likes ships! Cause they made her less lonely. ;3

So, she's anti-hemocaste and lonely, two character traits that were set up and never resolved. And beclaws this is Nepeta, in her honor, I'm going to talk about a third:

Her Unrequited Crush On Karcat

She has the BIGGEST flushed crush on Karkat. It's seen on her shipping wall twice, once with the word OTP on it.

And, despite never discussing it with her moirail, Nepeta mentions it once to Jaspersprite, and once to Jasprosesprite^2.

Now, I'm not really here to debate on the validity of KatNep - I think it's fine, even if I don't personally ship it, and don't personally think it would work out (there are lots of indications that they wouldn't work out, including Jasprosesprite^2 outright saying so). However, her crush on Karkat is both complicated and creates some interesting setups for her character. I am going to discuss it fairly critically either way, so KatNep shippers have been warned.

A lot of her feelings about Karkat - and about shipping in general - wind up being heavily interlinked with her status as a Hero of Heart, so I'm going to expand on it more there. But what I will note in this section is the fact that, despite Nepeta insisting twice that she doesn't think Karkat knows about her crush on her:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < it was karkat NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but i never told him and im pretty sure he never found out how i felt!

He tooootally did:

KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME. KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK?

Interpret that how you will for shipping purposes, but I want to propose that this is a reflection of their statuses as Heart and Blood players. Heart, despite its players' obsessions with romance, is not the romance aspect, Blood is. Karkat displays this very same romantic acumen when he tells Dave that he's known Terezi and Gamzee were a thing for a long time, despite everyone else on the meteor trying to keep it a secret from him. Heart is, instead, about identity, feelings, motivations, souls, and self. In other words:

Nepeta Is Kind Of Bad At Shipping

Let's take a look at those shipping walls.

Let's break this down a little. Nepeta's ships are not entirely wrong, but even the successful ones are kind of wrong. Here's what I mean. We've already discussed how Equius and Nepeta's moirallegiance has some... issues in it. If we go down her list of ships that actually do happen, most of them have some issues in them!

Aradia expresses her regret for getting together with Equius in the Ministrife. Kanaya and Rose suffer some major relationship problems when Rose starts drinking, to the point Karkat feels a need to step in as an auspice. Karkat and Gamzee fail, as Karkat is not calmed by Gamzee, and Gamzee stops listening to Karkat. And while Sollux and Feferi seem to be fairly healthy, after they both wind up in the Furthest Ring, he's pretty much always next to Aradia - he and Feferi don't even get to exchange words with each other once they're in the Furthest Ring. Purrsonally, I think he and Feferi are meant to end up as moirails, but shhhh.

So what's happening here? Well, this goes back to her identity as a Heart player. Heart is concerned with feelings and motivations.

They simply want to understand the one thing we all are stuck with for our entire lives, i.e. our own minds. Forging an identity is extremely important to the Heart-bound, and every decision and action goes toward building a coherent narrative of their own story. That isn't to say Heart-bound don't care deeply for their friends and allies; they just have a tendency to assume that everyone is as concerned with identity as they are.

Nepeta's shipping has also been associated with her isolation and loneliness. When you put this together, it implies that Nepeta's shipping is about her desire to understand others, and much of her ships are based on one of the parties having feelings, regardless of compatibility, feasibility, or broader implications. After all, despite the fact that she has pretty terrible romantic acumen, she IS able to instinctively identify that Eridan's advances toward her were insincere:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well ok i guess eridan hit on me a few times NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but his advances always struck me as cr33py and insincere

And that Karkat secretly LOVES and RESPECTS his friends:

JASPROSESPRITE^2: On the contrary Nepeta. You deserve someone who will RESPECT and ADORE you. NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well... yes NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i always hoped to find someone like that some day NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i dunno maybe youre right but in spite of whatever problems he might have i always felt like i saw something in him that made me think he could be that purrson!

Or knowing that Equius loves to play games, and still feels sad about Aradia exploding:

AC: :33 < i s33 right through your stupid act, who are you trying to kid! AC: :33 < look how you go out of your way to use words that have x's in them so that you can use your silly purrcent signs AC: :33 < or use these absurd words that you can shoehorn a '100' into, even if its not strictly replacing 'loo'!!! AC: :33 < you are so transpurrent AC: :33 < i can tell you like to play games, d33p down you are a guy who likes to play games! AC: :33 < i can smell a guy who likes to play games from so fur away with this nose, you have no idea X33

NEPETA: :33 < she was so happy, just like she used to be, and she said she would s33 you soon! EQUIUS: D --> That's a nice thought, and thank you for sharing it EQUIUS: D --> But it was only a dream, and will surely have no consequence in reality NEPETA: :33 < equius? NEPETA: :33 < are those f33lings i an detecting with my wiggly whiskery nose? EQUIUS: D --> Maybe

Because feelings, and not relationships, are her actual domain.

And speaking of Heart powers...

Nepeta and the Ultimate Self

So from this point forward, I'm going to assume you're more or less agreeing with my take that at some point after Game Over, Hussie - for whatever reason - gave up on his original ending, and wound up truncating his ideas so he could finish the comic faster. I go more into detail about that here.

So, in this hypothetical original ending, I firmly believe that the speech about the Ultimate Self would have come from Nepeta. First, let's take a look at what the "Ultimate Self" entails, as it appears within the comic:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < everything that ever happens to every version of you is an important part of your ultimate self... like a superceding bodyless and timeless persona that crosses the boundaries of paradox space and unlike god tiers or bubble ghosts or whatever, it really IS immortal DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but in your physical form there are all these partitions in your mind that prevent you from remembering any of that which makes your existence f33l totally linear DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < which is probably for the best! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in a regular body s33ing all that would be too overwhelming ... DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and after it sinks in for a while you start coming to this understanding of a greater self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe i "got it" quicker though because of the two people i was and their aspects DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < understanding heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < nepeta never got to make much headway with her aspect but shes finally gettin the chance DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the time aspect is all about running into different versions of yourself so you kinda get confronted with it in a really literal way that can be disturbing DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < obviously davesprite stuggled with that too, but now its fine DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hes fr33 from worrying about it all and what it means for his place in reality DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < because he can s33 now all his selves have relevance in painting the full picture of who he truly is DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im not COMPLETELY sure because im not like some sort of ASPECT MASTER but DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my avian slash feline intuition tells me that all roads will lead you here eventually DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < gaining the d33pest possible understanding of any aspect will bring you to the same final conclusion about your ultimate self

Now, I believe - and I hope you'll agree - that it's kind of lame, narratively, for Davesprite to have been set up with so much angst about not being the "real Dave," and for Nepeta to have all her issues with loneliness and shyness, and for these two specific iterations of each other to have never interacted, but suddenly getting double-prototyped fixes all of their problems, and they achieve Ultimate Selfhood despite being two total strangers to each other. So let's instead break down the more salient points about what Ultimate Selfhood entails, divorced from the fact that it's Davepetasprite^2 doing the narrating:

Every player in the game possesses an "Ultimate Self," an ultimate culmination of all their experiences and memories, specifically referred to as a "persona"

Normally, people are not aware of this, because it would be too overwhelming to deal with so many memories and iterations of each other.

Everyone will achieve Ultimate Selfhood eventually as the final culmination of their understanding of their aspect.

Heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self.

Let's talk about that last one some more, and by that I mean, let's see what Calliope has to say about it:

TT: I don't know why it had to be this way for me. Juggling these two waking selves at once. TT: I guess I'm used to it, but it still makes for a pretty intense existence. TT: Do you even know what the deal with that is? Like is there any precedent in your readings? UU: i don't know aboUt precedent, bUt it makes plenty of sense to me as the type of path one might expect for a hero of heart. UU: a path rUled by the heart aspect can be a joUrney of splintered self. UU: that is, the player's being may exhibit the same kind of fragmentation which certain classes coUld caUse in others. UU: i think this is what has triggered yoUr dUal-awareness between waking and dream selves, thoUgh it woUld not sUrprise me if the symptoms manifested in even more ways than this.

Now, Dirk has a clawmplicated relationship with his alternate selves, given that he's a Prince, but Nepeta wouldn't have the same struggles, or at least, not to the same degree. The problem is, hampered by Equius and her own shyness about discussing her thoughts and feelings with others:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i get so shy and worried what people might think of me if i say how i f33l NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im always so scared that they wont f33l the same way or just think im stupid or pathetic or something

She never actually gets to explore this part of herself.

But What If... She Did?

The way I imagine the original ending going is that each troll that gets saved by John's interference in the timeline then asks John to help them fix their own mistakes, thereby saving somebody else. Each successive trip through the meteor brings new character development, and also riddles the comic with progressively more password pages, which I think would be really funny. And throughout all this the Game Over team is searching for Vriska, Meenah, and the treasure, and resolving their arcs that way, so it's not like they would be replaced - they're the ones who get to kill LE. The process, in my mind, goes like this:

Terezi asks John to save Vriska, and prevent her from getting too spades with Gamzee, as these are her two greatest regrets.

Vriska obviously had great regrets about killing Tavros, both pre- and post-retcon, so she asks for his death to be prevented.

Tavros staying alive means that he and Gamzee wind up hashing out some stuff - Gamzee mentions that he feels "So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu" while talking to Tavros, and Tavros reciprocates the friendship and also - interestingly - acknowledges Gamzee's religion, calling it beautiful even if he doesn't necessarily believe in it. This is interesting because Karkat's inability to do so is explicitly one of the reasons their moirallegiance broke down. So having Tavros back, alive, means that he and Gamzee would likely end up in some sort of relationship, probably pale despite flushed leanings, and would bring Gamzee back into the fold.

Gamzee would then be like, yeah, wow, that time I killed Nepeta and Equius was pretty bad, huh? Especially since his decision to hang onto his friends' bodies and prototype them is often interpreted as him genuinely feeling bad about his dead friends (he tells Kurloz to shut up when Kurloz mentions all the dead friends, and his religion seems to be about a paradise he wants to share with his friends anyway). So he'd ask John to prevent him from killing them, resulting in the two of them getting to live.

Things get much more hypothetical from here, since so much of the character dynamics would have changed, but I think by this point, Equius might command ask John to let him say goodbye to Aradiabot before she explodes, which he expresses feeling very sad about. However, in doing so, John and Aradiabot end up in the same room, and when she realizes that he has the ability to change the timeline without repercussions, she'd seize him by the arm and demand that he take her back in time, to before she died. After all, she expresses regrets about her reckless actions, and how she always felt like it was all one big setup.

She would take Aradia's place in the Vriska revenge chain, being once more freed of her robot chassis, and from there, would trick Doc Scratch and the Handmaiden into thinking everything was still going according to their designs. Meanwhile, Alive!Aradia would be hanging out at Equius's place, borrowing his void powers to avoid notice, coordinating a new timeline that keeps the beats of the original (too much deviation causes unpredictability, and an paradox'd timeline offshoot without John's direct interference would still become doomed), but allows them greater freedom and the ability to overcome the machinations of Doc Scratch and associates.

This would also prevent Sollux from becoming so self-loathing, since it's no longer "his fault" that Aradia dies, although he winds up in that hole again after Feferi gets killed. Now that his Aradia is alive, he wouldn't feel like he might as well stay in the bubbles because his closest companions are there, so he'd make it to the end, and would ask John to prevent Feferi's death.

Eridan still dies; he's so disconnected and isolated from all his friends that his course of actions is largely unaffected even by everybody else's timeline tweaks. But before Feferi can suggest bringing him back, Karkat would butt in.

The Friendship Troll should be the one to demand that ALL of their friends be revived, especially if they had everyone except only one guy, and Karkat and Eridan are heavily implied to be moirails anyway. The course of Karkat's fixes are so comprehensive, and primarily romance-based, that the end result of this final loop is everybody not only being alive, but god-tiered, with appropriate character development.

Now, where Nepeta's Heart powers would play into all of this is that she would start to notice something going on. After all, Heart players are sensitive to their splintered selves, and (Nepeta) is probably much closer to Nepeta than regular doomed timeline offshoots. As the loops continue, and Nepeta has more and more time to talk to people, and meets her dead alternate selves, and even meets (Nepeta), she starts to awaken to her Ultimate Self - to come into possession of alternate memories.

And if the Ultimate Self is a very soul-y kind of concept, such that Heart players have a natural advantage in coming to understand it, then isn't it a natural fit that a Rogue of Heart - one who steals from Heart or steals Heart for others - would be naturally inclined to share the wisdom of her alternate selves, and even the very concept of the Ultimate Self, with her friends?

Because the Ultimate Self is actually, in my opinion, a pretty good narrative device. It turns the sadness of the dead and doomed timelines into something littersweet instead, and makes it so any weirdness regarding time travel and not really knowing your friends anymore will eventually be resolved, even if off-screen.

It's not really narratively satisfying when Davepetasprite^2 suddenly comes into being and reaches enlightenment, but imagine if instead it's a post-character development Nepeta comforting Davesprite on his relevance, or Jade on her loneliness, or John on not really knowing these new post-retcon versions of his friends? It would feel a lot better, since in this hypothetical, she would have reached that point after on-screen character development. Being able to share her true self with her friends on the meteor - by necessity, since what else are they going to be doing for three years - leads to her finally being able to fulfill her role as a Rogue of Heart.

Also, at some point during these repeated meteor trips, she dates Karkat (whether that's successful or not, I'll leave to reader interpretation - you already know where I stand), fulfilling Jaspersprite's musing that she might only be able to date Karkat after she dies.

So that's two out of thr33 of her outstanding plot hooks resolved... okay. So, I try not to make these essays into ship propaganda, but hear me out:

Hate Is Stored In The FefNep

Okay, so, remember that thing about how Feferi is actually a huge casteist hypocrite? Well, let's also note that the comic, post-Murderstuck, seems to put Nepeta and Feferi together a lot - they're a Commodore and Rear Admiral in the ghost pirate army, respectively, and they also wind up as Fefetasprite. So I think it's not entirely out of left field to say that these two were implied to have SOMETHING going on.

And that something... is a difference in political views.

I mean, let's be real, there's a reason Fefetasprite is the most explode-prone after Tavrisprite. Miss "The Hemocaste is Stupid and Shouldn't Matter" vs. Miss "I Love Being A Princess And Call Jade Hornless and Finless (Derogatory)"? Come on, tell me you don't see it.

Without getting too much into Feferi, this hypocrisy, and unwillingness to check her privilege (so glad I found an excuse to use that term unironically), are probably her greatest character flaws - ie, the things you would expect the story to address about her. Meanwhile, one of Nepeta's flaws, which she laments to Jasproseprite^2, is that she feels too shy to talk about her feelings to other people, leading to her having never expressed her views on the hemocaste to anyone but Equius.

I think that they initially think they'd be friends. Each one of them would go "oh man, this other girl is soooo cute, I wish I could talk to her more often!"

And then, once they do, they realize they fucking hate each other. Nepeta would go "X00 < you are such a hypocrite who f33ls like youre better than all of us!!!" and Feferi would go "You're suc)( an uneducated glubbing P-EASANT! 3X0" and then they'd claw each others' eyes out. It would be so funny, and if a homestuck ship isn't extremely fucking funny, then why are we even here.

But more importantly, this would further them along into resolving each others' arcs - Feferi would be forced to grapple with the greater implications of classism, and Nepeta - who is shown having a spine the most in defiance of somebody else - would grow more aggressive about being open about her feelings in defiance of Feferi. Even Equius would get roped into it in a positive way - you can just imagine him going "D --> Can I really believe my auricular sponge clots D --> Nepeta, you are finally taking interest in politi%" and be 100% on board with teaching her so Feferi won't be able to call her uneducated.

And then for flushed, I dunno! Karkat's an option, and Jade and Jake also both love the fuck out of furries, and Tavros seems nice. But yeah I'll die on the fefnep hate ship. Guys it would be so funny.

Thank you as always for reading! Let me know if there's a troll you want to hear me ramble about next.

#homestuck #nepeta leijon #feferi peixes #equius zahhak

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romana-after-dark · 3 months

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Rooms on Fire: Stop Dragg'n My Heart Around

Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader

Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual

Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist : MainTaglist

Spotify playlist

Summery: Madonna learns more about her role and the dynamics of the household.

Warnings and Content:

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence.

Extra warnings for chapter: Anal, oral, love bombing, control

This is not meant to be a statement about religion, Christianity, or Catholicism, this is simply my take on a cult. I am a religious person. I understand that some of this may be very offensive to religious people so if you don't like thing like AHS Asylum or Black Mass, maybe consider not reading.

A/N: Every chapter will be named after a song from the spotify playlist. Dont forget to commen fitting songs!!

6.2k words

Support writers! Reblog and leave comments!

NEW OC: Faceclaim, Dev Patel

**************

There's people running 'round loose in the world Ain't got nothing better to do Than make a meal of some bright eyed kid You need someone looking after you~ Stop Dragg'n My Heart Around, Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks

You were the wife of deities. You were blessed, honored. Holy mother. The Madonna, and inside your womb the savior would grow. All four of them were Gods of different patronage, each with their own abilities and passions.

Francisco was the god of nature. He was the god of all that grew in the earth, the soil. the flowers. He was clairvoyant, but also had a gift of growth. Life. His prayers over you would solidify implantation after conception, keep you and your baby safe.

Benjamin was the sun god, god of celebration, and celebrate he did. Ben’s mood often controlled the weather. Most of the time, regular weather patterns took place, Benjamin’s emotions could change them, and he was prone to big emotions. That’s why him and Francisco worked so closely together. Weather and nature, working to keep the crops growing and the people safe.

William was all about duality, you were taught in catechism. God of war, God of medicine. He had the gift of healing, but also impeccable military prowess. This made for a powerful ally and feared enemy. William headed the military and security, but also watched over the medical care.

And Pope, Divine Mothers only child. Pope had the gift of discernment and prophesy. He was incredibly intelligent, and with that came respect. He was not just born into this position, but born for it. God of family, god of passion. You felt that passion so clearly every time his eyes bore into you. He could no more hide it than he could his own beauty.

So why, with all this power surrounding you, did you feel so scared?

Everything just feels so confusing right now. You feel as if you can’t get your head on straight, like everything is whirling. You're married. You might be pregnant. Why was everything so… hard. When Pope waved your bloodied sheet around, he was soon joined by a whooping Ben who took part in the celebrations and dragged Francisco out with him. It was just you and Will.

Naked and shivering, suddenly cold on the cool tile of the altar without the heat of passion to warm you

“Just one minute, I’ll get you dressed once I’m done.” He says quietly, kneeling before you with a wet wipe, gently dapping at your swollen folds. “Damn, really did a number on yuh, huh?”

You don’t know how to respond, so you don’t.

“Well, I think this is as good as it’s gonna get.” Leaning over, he presses a kiss to the top of your puffy parts and gets up, helping you down with a hand. He slides the dress back over you. William was gentle as he caressed your cheek. “You did so good for us, princess.” His hand moved to your belly. “You’re a good girl, and soon you’ll be full with our baby, I just know it.”

You stand there in shock, unable to exactly form a reaction. The lights were too bright, it was too warm. There were too many flowers and incense and candles and oils… to much. You shut down and Will finishes dressing you: shoes, flower crown minus the ropes of vine. He stuffs your underwear in his pocket with a smile. “My little dividend.”

Jonah was outside the room, laying down on a bench with his cowboy hat pulled over his face.

“Wake up, old man” Will spoke with a bite you weren’t used to.

He mumbled under the hat. “I’m awake, damn. Just resting.”

William nudged you towards where he was standing. “Watch her for the rest of the cocktail hour, then bring her in for the entrance.”

Jonah frowned. “She ain’t going to the cocktail hour with you?”

“What’s the point? She can’t drink. She might be pregnant.”

“It’s her wedding.”

Will rolled his eyes. “She’ll have the wedding shit, this is more of a… stag party. Bachelor party sort of thing.”

You didn't know what that meant. You weren’t sure you wanted to.

“Whatever. I’ll watch her.”

“Yeah. You will.” Williams harsh glare softened as he turned to you, holding your face with both hands. “I’ll see you in an hour, my beautiful bride.”

When he left, Jonah mumbled something and began walking you down the long hall. The place was huge, absolutely massive. The worship chapple and sanctuary were attached to the house, originally built as a pool house but refurbished with the establishment of Delta. Divine Mother wanted her home attached to the sanctuary so she could go whenever she wanted, no matter the weather, so a hall was built on. In addition to the several bedrooms, living rooms and so on, there was a ballroom. This is where you would go after. For now, it seemed, you weren’t needed…

You wanted to go still. You were their wife, you wanted to meet the other members of Delta, you wanted to dance, to laugh, to smile with them… but the day's events left you tired, left you hurting, left you… confused. Why had they all left you so fast, save for Will?

“You alright, honey?” Jonah’s voice barely registers in your ear.

You don’t have it in you to answer, simply staring straight ahead as your breathing picks up speed.

“Hey, darl’n, hey.” He stops outside the kitchen. “What’s go’n on, you hurt?”

How do you even explain it, the panic rising up in you, the fear. Why were you scared? You were married to the gods, there was no safer position to be in. You were safe, protected… so why did you feel so on edge? Why was your head hurting, your heart racing, and why did you feel so used?

You stopped breathing before you realized it.

“Hey!” Jonah shook you, but your eyes felt glassy and unfocused. He pulled you through the swinging kitchen doors.

“Dad, what-” You hear Iris say and vaguely register a third person in the room. Iris stops what she’s doing and rushes to you. “What’s happening? What did you do?”

“Nothing! I got her after the ceremony and this just started!”

You were gasping for breath, the light and airy feeling in your head making everything a little blurring. Still, you register hands on your shoulders, calling your name. “You need to breath. HEY! You hear me? BREATH.”

But you can’t. The panic, all-consuming panic clawed at your throat and tightened your chest. Then, a hard slap.

*SMACK*

Iris slapped you, causing your body to gasp in shock. You took the opportunity to breathe in as much as you could get, and once the oxygen settled in, so did the clarity.

Dizzy, you stumble back and nearly topple over, but Jonah catches you. Careful, he sets you down in a chair. “Easy now, darl’n, breath, breath…” his arms were strong and safe around you, but Iris grabs your shoulders.

“Listen to me.” You look up to watch her, brown eyes fiery on yours. She commanded the room. “You need. To get it. Together. Those men out there-” She pointed vaguely out the door. “Are dangerous.”

“Iris…” Jonah whispers, but when her head whips towards him in anger, he backs off.

“You shut it, you don’t know jack shit about surviving here, especially as a woman.” Back to you. “I don’t care how you feel, I know you’ll probably fall in love because you’ve been so brainwashed, but I need you to understand this.” She leans in. “You need to get your shit together. You need to clean up, you need to get out there and charm the fucking dick off of every single person in that room. The only way you get through this is if you want a very thin line. Submissive but not weak. Obedient but not permissive. Have boundaries but keep them loose and never, ever, try to resist sex. This is no time to be weak.”

Her words barely made sense to you.

They weren’t dangerous. They LOVED YOU. You were their WIFE. But still, part of her words range true; you were the daughter of a traitor, a man who partook in an uprising that caused the death of the Divine Mother, and the other high up members would have their eye on you. You needed to make sure there was no reason to doubt your love for your husbands, nor your adoration of Divine Mother.

“Fuck,” Iris mutters something to the third figure in the room about ‘nothing there’ then stands up. “Jonah, go back to the dressing room and get the make-up and hair products.” It was only then you realized you had been crying, make-up running off your face. “Rey, I need you to help me in here.”

He was tall, about as tall as Jonah but not quite the Millers height. “What do you need?” He began to tie his dark curls back. Iris directed him on finishing the desserts while she took out all the food from the oven for the main dish.

When Jonah came back, Iris set to work redoing your face, making it look as if you never cried, never had a single scared thought. She fixed you up nice and pretty, then left you on the chair to wait for your entrance.

After everything was placed on carts to take out, Iris departed, with Jonah following behind shortly and instructing the other man to stay with you. Iris insists she doesn’t need a guard dog, but Jonah say something about not wanting her alone with ‘those drunk bastards’ if he can help it. You’re suddenly nervous, unsure about being alone with a man other than your husbands or Jonah, but you don’t have a choice.

“They’re a stressful pair to watch aren’t they?” The dark haired man says, pulling up a chair beside you. He turns it around, straddling it before sitting backwards and leaning his arms on the backrest.

You don’t want to be rude, so you give a shy smile without meeting his eye. “Are they… um… is uh…” You realize you don’t know Jonah’s last name, and are unsure how to properly address him to others. You don’t want to seem too familiar when you are a married woman now. “Mr. Jonah, is he Iris’s father? I heard her call him dad.”

He chuckles a bit, and you turn to look at him. With a better view, and clearer vision, you are able to take in his features. He’s handsome, but in a almost boyish way -although you doubt he’s younger than 30. Dark curls are still pulled back, but you’d estimate his hair falls about shoulder length, maybe shorter, as chunks are falling out. Strong nose, brown skin, and bright, brown eyes. Strangely jovial compared to Iris and Jonah.

“Yeah, kinda rare that happens. She’s um… well, they’d had… well I guess it’s not my place to say, but they’ve had some ups and downs. But yeah, she’s his daughter.” He extends a hand. “Reyansh Saha.”

You give him your name. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Saha.”

He laughs again, but it doesn’t feel like he’s laughing at you; it’s too good natured for that. “Just Rey is fine.”

“Oh, no, no I shouldn’t.” You try to protest.

“Ammayi” (my girl) He says with a glint in his eye. “No one here will understand you if you call me Mr. Saha, I promise you. You can call me Reyansh if that’s easier. Or, well, you can call me Mr. Saha if you’re uncomfortable of course” His tone is good natured, but clearly trying to ease you. You feel like a skittish animal, and he’s a good samaritan trying to coax you to some food.

You give a little nod. “Okay, yeah Reyansh works.”

You felt like you may have another panic attack.

Pope was on your right, holding your arm with William beside him. On your left arm was Benjamin; Francisco was fidgeting beside him.

“Baby.” Ben whispers to Francisco. “You gotta calm down, you're shaking…”

You watch as Pope turns abruptly at the nickname, but says nothing. Benjamin grabs Francisco's hand, squeezing it three times and giving him a little peck on the cheek before letting go. Francisco smiled, just a little.

You were making your grand entrance as husbands and wife, to the whole of Delta, to stand out on the balcony as the masses gathered below. Jonah instructed you on procedure.

“This is the most dangerous point. I have the entire guard in the crowd, both noticeably armed and plain clothes, everyones been searched before entry and theres no reason to suspect a problem, but-” He turned to you. “Anything happens, a gun shot, something is thrown, a fight breaks out, I am grabbing you and we are going. Don’t argue, don’t worry about them-” He gestures to the men beside you. “My only concern will be to get you to safety. Your husbands are all armed and trained fighters, you are not. You have me, understood?”

There would be no need for concern. As you stepped out, leading your husbands in a v shape through the curtains, a stark hush fell upon the crowd. Thousands of people, thousands, here to see your husbands. Here to see them with their brand new bride, the mother of their child. You were humbled, truly, to be honored in such a way that the god’s dained you deserving. Cheers broke out, no doubt to the flag being raised- your bloodied sheets, signifying that you were indeed a virgin, and had been claimed in the name of the gods. The crowd was adoring; how beloved your husbands were to their people!

You focused your hearing not being all that far away, to try and pick out a word or two, and were surprised with the result.

“MADONNA! MADONNA! MADONNA”

They were cheering… for you.

The priestess stood off to the side, raising her arms to hush the crowd.

“Hail Madonna, full of grace, blessed are you amongst women!”

Then, she kneeled.

Behind her, beginning with the front and sending a wave through the back, the entire mass of people knelt, chanting “Hail! Hail! Hail!”

To both your left and right, all four of your husbands bowed to you.

You were the holy mother. You were Madonna. You would bring about the savior and peace on earth. You were divine.

The party went swimmingly. Your new found confidence, it turns out, made speaking to strangers easier. You shouldn’t fear them for being a traitor's child, you shouldn’t feel their judgeful gaze. They should worship you. Not the same as Pope, William, Benjamin and Francisco, and certainly not Divine Mother, but you were blessed.

You never were far from William, Pope, or Benjamin, most moments of the evening were spent with their arms around your waist or holding your hand; you belonged to them.

Pope had pulled you to the dance floor, tender grasp keeping you close as he guided you through the violin music.

“You are just… so beautiful” He whispered, clean shaven face up against your own.

“Thank you.”

“You do understand how stunning you are, don’t you? Most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

You tuck your head in his neck, smelling his aftershave; or was it the liquor on his breath? You weren’t sure.

“It’s like you were made for me…”

A gentle kiss. “I was. I was made for you, by Divine Mother’s majesty.”

You could feel him smile at that, hands slowly trailing down your back. “That’s right, made just for me…”

You nuzzle against him, signing contently. He loved you, you were so, so loved… “Made for my husbands”

His smile dropped. When his hands grazed over your ass, he gripped it tight, painful, making you yelp. The noise and crass motion was sure to attract attention, and you turn to look.

Pope grabs your face, forcing you to look at him. “Don’t look at them, look at me. I am their god, they are nothing compared to us, what we do is none of their business. I could bend you over right now and if I told them to ignore it, to go about the party, they will. You understand me?”

You nod.

His fingers pinch your cheeks. “Your body was made for me, and it’s mine. Understood?” You realize now your mistake. You had said your husbands. Plural. You must have hurt his feelings when bringing the others into it, even if you meant well. You note that special times between you and Pope should remain exclusive. Don’t make him jealous.

“Made just for you” You push past the force of his hold to kiss him on the lips. “I belong to you.”

Popes body language relaxed, his plush lips smiling again as his grip softens. He runs his thumb over your lips. “So beautiful for me…”

As you spoke like old friends to a woman you’d never met in your life, Benjamin slid up to you. “‘Scuse me, darl’n, but may I steal my wife away for a few moments?”

The woman bowed her head and excused herself while Benjamin pulled you away.

It wasn’t long before you were out the ballroom, down a hall and into a small linen closet, his hands all over you; frantic, needy, a fully hard cock pressing against your skirt. This was to be expected, and you understood your role. At any time, day or night, busy or not, you were to be available to be filled.

He yanked at your skirt. “Yuh know,” Benjamin said between short pants of breath. “It was my brothers insistence that your dress have blue… he said that- mmphh- it was symbolic or some bullshit, but I think he just wanted his color on you.”

You weren’t entirely sure if that was true, but you didn’t want to make a committal answer so you attempt to kiss back, unsure of the movements still. “Mmm, Benjamin…”

“Call me Benny, darl'n.” He rucks up your skirt, only to find no underwear. He stops, blue eyes looking at you with a steely ferocity. “Will take your panties after he cleaned you up.”

Lie, your first instinct told you. He’s dangerous,lie. But he wasn’t dangerous. He was your husband. “Yes” You wanted him to touch you again, you liked the way he explored your body.

His brows pursed together before growling, turning you around and bending you over a small folding table. “God damn him, and god damn Pope!” Benjamin grunted, making you scared as he flicked your dress up to your waste. “I should’ve had you first!” Ben spits onto your exposed asshole, shocking you a bit.

You try to turn around when you hear his belt being undone. “What-”

“Shhhh” He pushes you back down on the table, freeing his hard cock. You jump when he slides a finger into your tight ring of muscle. It doesn’t feel bad, but not necessarily good, either. He begins to pump, then adds a second finger and you gasp at the intrusion. “Making me fuck’n wait till last-” You hear him spit on his free hand, beginning to jerk himself off as he begins to scissor you open.

“Ben!”

“Relax, baby, I’m not Pope, I ain’t tryna tear you open, you’ve bleed enough for one day.” You swear you hear him chuckle. What is he doing? You were confused, but also beginning to sink into the feeling of him. “They always do this to me, they always make me wait, and wait and wait just because Frank’s Pope’s favorite and Will’s ugh, Will’s older- goddamn” He stops, lining up the tip of his cock to your asshole and spitting a few more times. He was going to fuck you there?! Ben folds over, encasing your body in his warmth as he whispers in your ear. “Not this time, your ass is mine.” With that, he thrust into you, splitting your hole open as you cried out.

He laughs. “Lot louder than when Pope took you huh?”

Jonah found William getting a glass of wine and sipping it while watching over the party.. “I gotta talk to you.”

William doesn’t even turn to look. “Fuck off, Hanson.”

Will did not like Jonah, he knew. Their history prevented the same rapport that he had with Santiago, but never the less, he know Will was the one for this request.

“It’s about your precious Madonna.”

With that, Will turned.

Benny was insatiable, thrusting into you wildly and grunting with every movement. “So- fucking-tight-god!” He shouts and it takes everything in you not to cry… but that feeling was bubbling up again, despite the discomfort, but that discomfort was slowly slipping into something else.

The slightest moan escapes.

It seems then almost that Ben reminds you’re here, that he’s not fucking a hole in a wall and chuckles. “Oh, you like this, pretty girl? I can make it better, so much better.” He wraps a strong arm around you, toying with that sensitive spot that William was playing with earlier illiciating a much louder moan from your lips.

“God baby, thats it… gonna cum like this, darl’n? Gonna cum with a cock up your ass like the dirty girl I know you are? Yeah, yeah sure sounds like it…” He replies after your sounds of pleasure grow. “Under all this white, underneath that good girl act and that sweet little face, I knew, I just fucking KNEW your little virgin cunt was begging to get fucked, desperate for cock, huh?” His hips begin to falter, growing more sloppy. “Well now you got 4 cocks desperate to fill you up, to put our baby inside you first, fuck, you gonna be able to handle all that?

You can’t even reply, a mess of moans under his body.

He grabs your hair, yanking you up to look at him. “ANSWER ME!”

“YES!” You scream, so close to spilling over but not quite there, needy and whimpering for him. “I can take it! I want it! I want you all, all the time!”

“I know, darl’n girl, I know, f-fuck, ugghh fuck!”

Pulling out of your ass, you almost whine for him, whine for more, but he thrusts it into your pussy last minute. The intrusion sends you over, clamping down hard on him as he spills into you. “Yeaahh, that’s it, thats- oh my god, perfect little pussy- fuck!” When he finishes inside you, his warmth is all over you again, staying there for a moment with his cock plugged inside you. “Gotta make sure to cum inside your little pussy every time, no matter how good your ass or mouth feel. Can’t waste a drop.”

He caressing your arm as his body language softens, nuzzling his face into your hair. “So good, pretty girl. So fucking perfect.”

“She needs someone looking after her.” Jonah insists. “She’s just a kid.”

Will is dismissive, but behind his eyes hide curiosity. “That’s what you and security are for.”

Jonah signs. “Okay, listen, I’ll be honest here.”

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

“You ain’t fond of me, that’s a given. I get it. But let’s be clear.” Jonah drops his voice low. “Frank’s been mentally checked out all day. He don’t want nothing to do with this. Ben’s a -”

“Watch it.”

Jonah rephrased his next words. “He’s not gentle. He’s not careful, and when he’s high he flat out dangerous, and he buys into this whole delusion and so does Santiago. Santiago is worse, he’s delusional and can flip like a fucking switch. She needs someone to help her navigate them. That needs to be you.”

Will didn’t say anything, but from the way his brows were furrowed, Jonah new he planted a seed.

“Look, here she comes with Ben, she’s fucking stumbling, Will. Go take care of your wife.”

It hurt.

It was hard to walk like this, but Ben’s arms were tight around you. You felt strangely safe like this, like he was going to be there from now on.

“What the hell did you do to her, Ben?”

“Relaaaaax” Ben waved off his brother. “She’s fine.”

Will didn’t buy it.

“Pope got her pussy, I got her ass.” He shrugged.

Disgust spread across his features. “You did anal? With no lube? Jesus Ben!”

“RELAX!” Ben raised his hands in defense.

Will hushed him. “That’s enough for tonight, I’m taking you to bed.”

And that was that. Will’s arm replaced Ben’s and quickly guided you out the door again. Once out of sight, Will scooped you right out. “Ain’t having you walk like that, babygirl. ‘Slright, just rest.” And rest you did, clinging to him and laying your head on his firm chest. You felt like you were almost asleep when he laid you on the bed.

Like how he cared for you before, he cared again, undressing you with a gentle strength.

“Lay down, lemme make sure your okay.” The worry in his voice made your heart sing.

“I’m alright, I promise.” You whisper, but spread your legs anyway.

He tsks his tongue. “Poor little girl… you’re alright, but I know it must hurt, doesn’t it?”

You swallow thickly, nervous with his face so close to your core. “Um… it’s a little sore, I guess…”

“I bet… but it wasn’t all bad, was it?”

“N-no, it wasn’t…”

“I can see that…” A thick finger swipes up your slit. “Got all wet, didn’t you? You sure are easy to work up…”

You shutter at the touch, a little achy but still desiring him. How could you not? How could you not want him when he spoke to you so low, so careful? When carried you and cleaned you and dressed you… he was perfect, fucking perfect.

“Poor little girl…” William spoke in a deeper tone, planting a kiss to your clit and making you whimper. “Gotta be at the beck and call for four men… that can’t be easy, but you’ve been taking it so well…” His fingers move up and down your folds, spreading your cum and the new slick trickling down.

“It’s, mmmm it’s my honor to be found worthy…” You sit up on your elbows, curious as to his actions.

“And worthy you are, Madonna.” His lips glazed over your flesh. “Bless are you, among women” His hand on your stomach. “and blessed is the fruit of your womb.” You watch William, knelt before you, hovering with his mouth open above your waiting mound.

You whisper, “Please”

He whispers equally soft. “As you wish.”

When William latched his mouth onto you, it’s unlike anything you’ve felt before, although you can’t say you’ve felt much. His mouth is hot, wet, messy as he licks you, tongue and lips moving in tandem, like a well practiced team with the sole purpose of reducing you to a whimpering mess.

“W-Will, oh that… oh my god-”

But he didn’t stop, latching his tongue to your clit as his fingers entered you, and despite the overstimulation of the day, compared to the large phalluses that had breached your core, his fingers merely provided pleasurable stimulation. His free-hand remained busy as well, taking your private moment to explore the rest of your body. You didn’t understand what pleasure he could find in your thighs, your stomach, or playing with your fingers, but you relished in his closeness, the emotional and physical and sexual intimacy compared to the coldness of the deflowering.

But it had to happen this way, you thought as your hips bucked; William had begun swirling his tongue around your clit, causing a surge in pleasure. This afternoon was a ritual; systematic, calculated, precise. There was no room for intimacy, for love. But you’d seen it now. You’d seen it in the way Pope danced with you, in the way Ben caressed you after sex and praised you, the way Will touched you now… the only thing missing was Frankie.

It wasn’t long before Will had to gushing on his face, crying out his name in a hedonistic moan, a orgasm so blinding that the revelation that you existed to pleasure and be pleasured by these men until you were swollen with child seemed like a gift of godhood itself.

He pulled three more out of you before he was satisfied, making come on his face and fingers thrice before your final orgasm was only singled by an tired “Mmmmmmmph” and your contracting walls. Finally, he pulls back. You can’t see him, eyes too tired they won’t open, but you imagine his beard is glistening with the way he soaks you when he kisses you cheek.

When you’re situated in bed, where you can only assume is your room, you ask Will to stay, ask him to hold you while you fall asleep. He obliges.

You feel dwarfed in his grasp his body so large it makes you feel small, but also secure. You don’t have to be brave, you don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to think or to worry. Everything would be taken care of for you, you’d give birth to the savior and how many other children, and redeem your family name from your fathers betrayal. You would find redemption in this house, right alongside love, family, and maybe even friendship for the first time since you were twelve…

Everything was falling into place.

So why didn’t it seem like Francisco loved you?

Knock knock.

“Honey?”

Knock knock knock

“Honey you in there?”

Jonah.

“One moment!”

You open your groggy eyes and take a look around the room, finding a luxurious, long, white robe on the dresser. You put it on, covering your nakedness, and timidly open the door.

“Yes?” Jonah stood before you, gun slung on his hip as usual.

He looks sympathetic. “Sorry to wake you, but Santiago wants to see you, I’m here to escort you.”

Hearing someone refer to Pope as his given name is jarring, but something about Jonah is just… very different. He seemed so serious when talking to you about safety, about making sure only his most trustworthy men watched you and how determined he seemed at the balcony… but it seemed he took everything else so unserious to him.

You didn’t like that he referred to your husband by his name, it was much too informal, but you cared about Jonah, so you don’t mention it.

After dressing, Jonah takes you down stairs. You’re thankful for him, the house is too big for you to know your way yet.

“How you feeling?”

“About what?” You ask genuinely.

Jonah turns to you, a curious look on his face. “About… everything. Yesterday was a big day. A lot happened.”

Of course a lot happened. You were still leaking their cum. “Nothing that Divine Mother didn’t intend.” You say as if its obvious.

He sighs. “Right.”

Pope was waiting outside the door of the intended room. His smile grew when he saw you, walking over to place a hand on your cheek and kiss you. “Good morning, my beautiful wife.”

Wife… something so magical about that word.

Pope thanks Jonah and dismisses him, turning you to the doorway and opening it. “I have a surprise for you, bebita.”

When the door opens, you gasp as you’re led inside. Canvases fill the room as did papers, paints, pencils…

“How… how did you know…” You whisper in awe, your heart swelling at the gesture. He loved you, he really loved you and wanted you to be happy here. You were so lucky, so lucky to be adored like this, to be adored by him especially. Pope had worked his way deep into your heart in a matter of days. He was everything to you now, he was your world. You belonged to him, every single inch of your heart, your body, your mind, your faith was him.

“I’m the god of love, I know what mi amada needs… I’ll always know.” He stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your body, the body that belongs to him, and kisses your neck. “I can’t wait to see what you paint, Madonna…”

***************

PLEASE TELL ME UR THOUGHTS I THRIVE ON PRAISE

I feel like im doing ass at writing Ben here. I my normal fics on my main he's a consent king and so so so so soft so this is strange to me. BUT he can be tender and loving, dont you worry

SO, THE GENERAL CONCENSOUS IS YOU ALL WANNA FUCK JONAH. Lmfao, horny sluts. HE'S OUR FATHER FIGURE. Imagine having daddy issues. COULDNT BE ME (this is a joke lol)

But! Thoughts on Iris, and our new boy, Reyansh?

Not a super eventful chapter and i felt like Madonna have said like 10 words this whole fic but this has been the set up, now we can move forward! If you read TWW, LO was practically silent for the first few chapters.

Now they ceremony is done and she's married and already v attached and brainwashed.

How to keep up with the story!

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jamsofdeath0 · 4 months

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I think the biggest issue with shield hero is the author accidentally wrote motoyasu into being in the right. this wouldn't have been an issue if they decided to address it instead of tripling down on him "being an idiot" instead of a morally upright dude who believed a woman when she claimed to be raped.

Naofumi for all intensive purposes looks like the most reprehensible motherfucker on the planet from the outside. I wouldn't take his goddamn side. but the story NEEDS you to be with him. so they thoroughly make him sympathetic before he buys the child slave. now don't get me wrong I love this plot point. I think "protagonist buys a child slave" could have been a fucking awesome story. but the author didnt actually want to go into how fucked up that is. they just wanted to write isekai wish fulfillment about a guy at the bottom revenge plotting his way to the top. this is fine to. this can be a perfectly serviceable or even good plot. the problem is the second sheild hero stops being a dark fantasy (episode 5) it gets obscenely boring. like so fucking dull.

this is because they didn't know how to get you onto naofumis (the man who owns a child slave) side without making the antagonist needlessly over the toply cruel (myne) or the most annoying performtive idiot on the planet (motoyasu)

lets examine motoyasu. hes a womanizer. not very bright. believes myne when she claims to be raped. duels naofumi to free a slave.

none of these things are bad. his attempt at free raphtalia (the slave) is maybe a tad performative, naofumi calls this out himself when he brings up slavery being legal, but its not evil. it GOOD. even if its a little to do with his personal beef with naofumi that to could just be interesting writing.

hes FLAWED (being gullible) yes but thats just being a well written character. (he isnt)

so the shows written a well meaning but flawed antagonist. hes against the protagonist bc he rightfully believes him an irredeemable monster who raped women and own slaves.

what will be done with this charater? nothing interesting i assure you. the episode after the duel instead of having him question why the slave girl actually liked naofumi at all (the man they at this point belive to BE A RAPIST (he isnt but they dont know that)) he shows up at a village to become a figure head lord. mynes calling all the shots. and she says the first decree will be that anyone who enters the village will have to pay a toll of FIFTY SILVER. FIFTY! Naofumi then says a night a board AND food is only 2. Thats above cartoonishly evil. thats just stupid. youre not going to make any money that way no one's going to be able to afford the fee. your just killing a village to kill it.

What does motoyasu do when this VERY CLEAR EVIL is happening right in front of him by HIS SIDE? look stupid and double down bc he doesnt like naofumi. he shows hes willing to fuck over a TON of people just to get a go at one guy.

this is the second their whole dynamic becomes so boring. it becomes "naofumi right"; "motoyasu stupid". when motoyasu loses his assumed moral high ground. when hes no longer fighting for what he believes is right.

whereas before their clashes had been moral and even nuanced to a degree now its just a postering idiot and a guy who can inly be bothered bc hes LITERALLY GENUINELY being forced to.

#sheild hero #isekai #the rising of the shield hero #anime #naofumi iwatani #motoyasu kitamura #rape #tw rape #tw slavery #slavery

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titaniafey · 10 months

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A little preview of my wip Ghostflower fic. Though I dont think it counts as ghostflower and leans more to just Gwiles. Specifically Earth!42- Miles and Gwen. I think there should be a separate dynamic for them respectively. Their personalities are kinda reversed. Miles is the one that's more broody and angsty, while Gwen is an adorable sunshine that can roast your ass like the sun. And she's still got that edge to her. Of course 😌

But AGSPSKFLGKGJD Y'ALL TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK?

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New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of

There’s nothing you can’t do.

All right, I am only doing this just this one time. My name is Miles Gonzalo Morales. I used to wonder why my dad didn’t put Davis as my last name on the birth certificate. He told me it’s because he just doesn’t want it to get in the way of making my own name for what he did in the past. Said he and my uncle used to get into some shaaaady business here and there. For all his insistence to erase the past and never look back, I find myself doing things backwards. Because all I be doing right now is get caught up in the past. Trying my damnedest to right it. To give meaning to it.

Fisk still has his sights on being Mayor. His campaign pitch was a load of bull. Everyone knows the villains that run around the city wreaking havoc was in cahoots with him to get the people running as far away from this city as possible. His vision of being a livable safe New York in which he put up in honor of his late wife Vanessa Marianna and son Richard Fisk sounded like an empty promise. If anything, he was hellbent on making an unlivable New York. His grief spreading its reach to drive people away. It tends to do that to a man. In that aspect I can empathize for him.

But what stops me from pitying the fool is that he’s going on driving away families who wish for a new start in the big apple. As well as people who established the roots here since opportunity was promised in the land of the free. Hiking up housing prices. Creating noise and riots on the street.

I could move forward If I wanted to.

If I did move forward me and my mami would’ve been living peacefully in Puerto Rico right now with my maternal grandparents.

If I did move forward, I wouldn’t be sticking out for the city that granted my dad countless opportunities no matter how much he messed up.

If I did move forward, I wouldn’t be giving my dad justice for all the things he has fought for this city. His death would have been in vain.

If I did move forward, no one would’ve stood up to the likes of Fisk.

No one would’ve had the guts to go against him.

And the only one that could do that was someone above the law. Someone who runs under the cloak of the night. Someone who could portray the villain if they needed someone to be angry at. Someone who turned Fisk’s attention away from grabbing every silver lining left in this city to cling on to.

If I did move forward. I wouldn’t be the Prowler.

And if I hadn’t taken up the role of the prowler… I wouldn’t have seen what my dad, my mami, my uncle wanted me to look forward to.

Sunshine breaking through a dark sky. A city burned alight with a new hope. A blue eyed angel flashing me a bright smile.

Just as New York can be greedy, as it takes, and takes, and takes. It also gives, and gives, and gives.

It’s okay to look back in the past. But it’s also important to not get hung up with it that you won’t be able to see the new day in front of you. It’s called New York for a reason ain’t it? Just because one bad thing happened doesn’t mean life stops there.

You wanna know how I got here? Let me take you back to the time when life stopped for me.

#the brainrot had gotten productive #I've now made a fic about them in another universe-so that's technically an AU in itself ;)#the drabbles snippets and little interactions i came up with as standalone scenarios theyre correlating and adding up now #this fic is kinda grumpy-sunshine mixed with a little fake dating #which is plot relative rather than me attempting to get as much romance tropes as possible #its most definitely a slowburn though #ghostflower #gwen and miles #gwen x miles #gwiles #miles and gwen #miles x gwen #milesgwen #miles&gwen

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the-owl-tree · 5 months

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Mapleshade hate is often just misogyny. The baby trap argument, comparing her to Ashfur, and saying she didn't really care about her kits is just absurd.

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

it really does depend on the argument, because i don't blame a lot people for not liking the character for how she's treated as undeniably in the right for killing and what not....but it's when people start making up shit that i raise a brow. that she's emotionally manipulative, that she baby trapped appledusk, and so on and so on. it's like....is the murder not bad enough. is murder not good enough to point out she might not be a good person. is the actual child she manipulated not good enough proof that maybe she's not a good person, we have to pretend appledusk is her poor hapless victim. come on now, let's not be sillay about it

i also dont understand the "doesn't love her kits thing". like i think there's a bad trend of equating love = moral goodness, that to love something means that it erases the bad, and i think it's just a bad way to view these dynamics. i say this as someone who likes idea that mapleshade loved her kits as extensions of what they could do for her lol

#ask game #it's also with [asc spoilers] where ppl are like how can x love y if they did bad thing #and it's like. man. nuanced emotions are fun

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rise-my-angel · 28 days

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Because I love salt, what do you find to be the most annoying lines of so-called evidence or foreshadowing for ships you hate? For me it’s hard to pick just one but Jon saying Sansa looked radiant is up there for me because the idea that Jon had a crush on Sansa in the first book or before is so much worse than the thought of them meeting again and then developing feelings (which I still hate, but it’s just not as bad). It’s super normal for people to think their siblings look nice. Arya’s POV chapters also remark that Sansa is beautiful. Ashford theory is annoying because it was originally about the hound and Sansa (also hate this ship but the fans are a million times more tolerable). I also roll my eyes when fans insist that the bride of fire line foreshadows Dany marrying Jon (and I even LIKE that ship but only in an AU in my head where Lyanna is Jon’s mom but Rhaegar is NOT the father)

"Because I love salt"

You have come to the right place as this is an accurate real life photo of me running this blog:

Thats a good one I hate though, multiple siblings and family members in this series all compliment one another. Even characters with bad relationships compliment each other. In the books, Arya recalls that her father calls her pretty, which only Jon ever also called her. Does that mean Ned had romantic feelings for Arya? Or Lyanna for that matter? No of course not. Thinking someone in terms of beauty is zero indicator of attraction in any way.

Also its even funnier with Jonsas because Sansa herself notes that Arya looks just like Jon, and then on multiple occasions notes that she thinks Arya is ugly. So, its even less compelling.

In the show Tyrion compliments Cersei's beauty all the time and we know there is nothing to it. It's reading into something that isn't there beacuse if they ignore the way beauty is used in this series as a common compliment towards other highborns, then its a really simple box to check on really stock symptoms of attraction. (I also dont really enjoy Sansan but it is funny how they just stay in their circle and mind their business like they somehow are winning based on being not fucking annoying alone).

I'm gonna rapid fire for Jon here because pretty much every single ship he has is backed by the worst evidence known to man.

The idea that Jon never thinks about Sansa because he loves her the most is dumb and not how we know Jon works. He holds back what he says not what he thinks. He thinks of Sansa the least because despite being his sister, she treated him like shit because she looks down on him for being a bastard. Jon cares about her, but not anywhere near how he cares about his other siblings who have clearly shown him love and respect.

The worst of Jon and Arya is a very very old outline that grrm scrapped. Its an outline that wasnt used and most of it isnt canon so it is literally a piece of non evidence for a ship that is disgusting. (Both Jonsa and Jonrya make Jons good older brother behavior towards his sisters look predatory and the shippers are all literally too blind to realize it)

Jon and Dany have literally nothing to back that up, because they are staged as moral oppositions to one another, dont know the other exists, and the idea that the motif of ice and fire will be about the coming together of romance is antithetical to everything grrm has established about the themes of his story. They are so far from being a ship that literally the ONLY thing they have to support it is the show and thats an absolute joke (see my every post that got me blocked by jonerys stans for more detail)

Ygritte is a rapist, so I accept literally zero "evidence" on that ones validity.

I also hate the "the actors have chemistry" argument to support really bad ships, because some actors having chemistry doesnt equal good romance, it equals good on screen dynamics in its own unique way. Like Tywin and Arya in season 2 have GREAT chemistry, but I don't need to explain why shipping that is creepy. Catelyn and Jaime have great chemistry, but it doesn't mean anything was actually there which could've worked.

Like shipping is fine, but so many people just INSIST it is canon or meant to be instead of something fun to think about. I joke ship about Stannis and Davos because its fun but I'm not over here arguing that people who don't ship it are "ignoring the text in front of them deliberately".

Also honestly, its really funny to me that you had to specify you'd only like that ship if they weren't related. Big oof on that one. Jonerys stans hate the idea they couldn't be related because they somehow think Dany being his AUNT isn't at all creepy. Like, Dany is related to Jon the way Jon thinks hes related to his MOTHER. There is no capability of romance or attraction there, that's crazy.

People who are biologically related but don't know it, 99% of the time are in fact, still not accidentally attracted to each other because that's biological survival instinct. Anti inbreeding protocol. But they think because DANY was raised to think her families blood superiority driven incest is fine, that somehow means JON would think its fine. Jonsas have no argument for that they just have to pray desperately that Jon would want to fuck his little sister despite how much it makes him look like a predator.

I'm sorry, I hope you have water on hand to wash down all this goddamn salt I just threw at you all at once.

Really, it isn't individual lines that irk me, its the overall tendencies of these ships to put more emphasis on things that don't even exist to justify something they don't even realize WHY people think it's creepy. I don't hate a lot of ships, just...all pro incest ones, and ones that promote predatory/rapist behaviors. Which is why I don't ship much in this series.

We're probably not meant to ship many people in this series if I in any way understand even a modicum of why grrm writes the lack of romance the way he does.

#game of thrones #a song of ice and fire #asoiaf #anti jonsa #anti jonerys #anti jonrya #anti jongritte #anti jonerys stans #anti jonsa stans

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purpleangelsele · 7 months

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Can we have an honest discussion about Jancy?

I just got to some thinking and it’s hard to really fully support Jancy because of what Jonathan did.

This moment is unnecessary imo and shouldn’t have been greenlit. Jonathan being written as a loner who’s brother is missing and how he had to grow up faster than other kids, that’s good that’s depth. What’s not so great, is that the writers decided to make him take pics of a party that he isn’t a part of because you can see who a person really is through a picture? And also him taking pictures of Nancy undressing infront of the window because of some lame artistic expression reason.

If the writers didn’t do that then maybe Jancy wouldn’t have such pushback imo. People will always have this impression that Jonathan is a creep because technically he did something that violated Nancy’s privacy. He took a picture of her first time undressing infront of her boyfriend without her knowing she has an audience of one. That’s fucking creepy and personally I’m not sure I could be with someone who took pictures of me while I’m in my bra.

That’s another thing the writers did terrible. They wrote Nancy as such a girlboss but she’s apparently okay with him taking pictures because ummm she likes him? I don’t get how Jonathan didn’t need to do much to get her trust. He apologized in one scene and she basically dismisses the whole thing entirely? Pretty unrealistic where’s the outrage? Where’s her feeling uncomfortable being around him and him actually working on being on her good side? There’s just a lot of stuff wrong with this dynamic in season 1 that really irks me because the writing of this ship could have been so much better.

There’s a reason why there’s more people that ship Nancy with other characters because of the writers. I like Jancy but the way they began will always bother me.

Also just because you like Jonathan doesn’t mean his camera shouldn’t have been broken. Actually Steve did the right thing, his girlfriend didn’t have her privacy respected and Jonathan needed to learn that lesson of DONT do that shit again. Ugh but Ofc because the picture of Barb served the plot, a lot of that tension went away in favour of finding out what happened. Nancy decided to just go with Jonathan in monster hunting and it’s not really talked about afterwards. We don’t see anything that triggers Nancy, like tensing when Jonathan gets too close or when he clicks the camera. Or just in general…not right away talking to him??

This is just what I think. A lot of Jancy’s problems stem from the writers not knowing how to write them together. I also don’t agree with Mileven and Jancy being the exact same ship because no? El and Nancy are pretty similar but there’s very vast differences in the way they were raised and how they interact with others. Mike and Jonathan are definitely not alike at all. Mike never would take a picture of someone undressing. ALSO I would have loved to see Mike being hostile to Jonathan because he fucking took pictures of his sister. It would make so much sense but also cmon writers. Make things make sense.

El and Mike are alot more easier to root for than Jancy imo. That’s just how I feel. I don’t hate jancy, it just conflicts with my moral code.I desperately wished that the writers didn’t do that shit. Jancy and their individual characters deserve better and I wish they didn’t have that creepy scene because it’s canon and can’t be easily forgotten as much as the show tries to make it seem like.

This could be controversial but I’m open to respectful discussion. If anyone starts shit I will block. Thank you

-Sel💜

#mileven #el hopper #mike wheeler #mike x el #jancy #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #jonathan x nancy #jancy critic #again I don’t hate Jancy but rather the writing of them #it just sucks tbh #anti jancy

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astronnova · 9 months

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response to @imminent-danger-came from this post!!!! thank you for replying mwehehehehehehehehehehe

#DAMN#IT'S TRUE#people need to accept that shadowpeach is a fucked up an' unhealthy ship (that maybe can get better) and that's okay! that's why I like 'em

yes this is SO true so true so true. their dynamic is so warped and bonkers and thats why i loooove it. its about the obsession. its about the guilt. the tragedy. its about the unstoppable force vs immovable object and how they cant stop coming back to eachother. im normal, i swear

#''azure and lbd were kinda the same just different execution'' YEAH. HMMM PARALLELS.

i love parallels i love it when writing does this i love feeling the overarching theme tie into every part of the story i love storytelling

#macaque and azure are also the same with their Wukong abandonment arcs. Foil MK that way. It fucking rules

this too. im a big fan of how bonkers azure and macaque are for wukong and also how mk is so open to subconsciously absorbing others ways of thinking that he just internalizes that too. these guys......... its okay that wukong has other things going on u guys......... its okay.......

#I will say. On one hand yeah oh my fucking god the fandomization of Macaque is so fucking terrible. This post is so right#On the other: I think Wukong very much did abandon macaque first lol#But they abandoned each other (It's why MK and Mei not doing so is 👌👌👌👌👌)

hard agree about the fandomization of macaque, it reeeeeeks. let him be an awful bastard

ok this has me curious! id love to know when wukong abandons macaque first, cause i personally can't think of the time he does that. (i know tone is hard to come across via text so i want to make it clear im being 100% genuine here).

based on all the time we know wukong left macaque, he always came back to him and his intentions for leaving were to protect macaque and the monkeys on flower fruit mountain. when he left to train with subodhi, he came back after his training. we also never see macaque show any disdain for this or claim that was wukong abandoning him with the action.

then, wukong goes to the celestial realm and works as the stable boy before he gets super drunk and petty and then goes back to flower fruit mountain. macaque never shows any anger over this either, so i don't think that's abandonment.

after, wukong and the brotherhood attack the celestial realm and wukong is captured and put into the furnace and then forced under the mountain. i don't think wukong's capture counts as abandonment, especially since wukong makes it super clear that he does not want to be under that rock.

originally i thought macaque didn't know about wukong's capture like azure and the others, which could be a reasonable conclusion for him to come to; that wukong abandoned him for the celestials, but we know that macaque knows wukong was captured. macaque even visits him under the mountain. that's when macaque severs their ties and leaves wukong trapped.

also yes........ yes..!!! mk & mei are the wukong & macaque narrative parallels.... i love storytelling

#And I think like. Why should Macaque have to bail Wukong out and put himself in danger with all of heaven because of what Wukong chose to do

its less about "macaque having to bail wukong out and indanger himself over wukong's problems" but more of like, wukong and macaque did the exact same thing, which was attacking the celestial realm. that's why wukong got caught. it's not just macaque, azure, peng, bull king and yellowtusk have some sort of moral responsibility in a way to at least try to help wukong, because all of their combined actions led to wukong taking the punishment for all of them.

i mean, sure, macaque has no reason or responsibility to bail wukong out if you look at it from that scene alone, with the "you dont owe anyone anything" mindset. but considering the other things we know, like how macaque was apart of the attack and supported wukong and fought along side him, there's a bit of a moral obligation to help wukong out since macaque's apart of the reason why wukong was captured.

#This post almost has the opposite problem of ''Wukong is villainzied while Macaque is a baby boy'' like#Wukong wasn't a good person either (they both suck(ed))#But he changed

HAHA lol sorry, that wasnt my intent. i want to make it clear that yeah, wukong wasnt a good person either! but i think the major distinction is that he wasnt a good person, past tense. in the show currently, wukong's a pretty alright guy, and the journey to the west helped him grow into a better person. i jsut feel it isn't necessary to mention wukong's terrible traits from the past because they arent... relevant to him in the current tense. that, along with the fact that the fandom keeps bringing it up, im focused more on mentioning macaque's terrible actions instead of wukong's because macaque is still acting that way while wukong grew as a person hundreds of years before canon. no reason to mention the terrible past of someone who's already made up for it, that kind of thing.

and your right! he changed, and thats good! my main point is that macaque didnt, but the fandom loves to act like he did.

#''We can't change who we were yesterday or in a past life or a hundred lifetimes ago! We live with the choices we've made for what-#-matters is the choices we make right now!''#Like yeah obviously Macaque was biased. (He says so himself: ''Everyone is the hero of their own story'')

yep ^

#But Macaque also steps in in s2 because Wukong LITERALLY abandoned MK chasing after another source of power.

i feel like thats a misinterpretation of season 2 and wukong's actions, because the reason wukong "abandons" mk is to keep mk out of danger. wukong's objective is to find a way to defeat the lady bone demon without having to drag mk into it, because he feels mk isn't ready for that kind of large battle yet. he isn't leaving mk behind to go look for more power for himself, he's leaving mk in a safe place while he goes to deal with the main threat to keep mk from getting involved. he isn't quick enough, but the point still stands.

macaque steps in and even admits in the shadow play episode that he only came by to torture mk for fun ("i was gonna do the whole watch the hero be tormented by their own mistakes thing..." is what he says, which is funny because that's really relevant to wukong's character too haha).

#SWK is making the same mistake he always has. And then MK in s2 is ALSO making that same mistake#And Macaque had to be a loser about it but it is very interesting to see it from his pov.#He steps in when MK is acting that little bit too much like Wukong in all the wrong ways. (2x07 4x09)

and you've got a point! wukong has a habit of shouldering everything himself and believing he has to be the one to fix everything, since he has the most abilities and powers out of everyone... *gestures vaguely* alive, lol. that's why he keeps secrets throughout s2-3, because the way he deals with large scale threats is by keeping his cards close to his chest. given his past, i don't blame him

so true, too, cause mk's going down that path of self isolation like wukong has already done. mk's trying to spare his friends from his "burdens" (his trauma with lbd in s2 and his trauma from azure lion and the scroll in s4) and by doing so he shuts down and keeps to himself. macaque interprets this as him "abandoning his friends", but that's because macaque's a projector LOL. we already know he does that constantly. i find it interesting too, cause macaque is somehow the most empathetic person in the cast but uses that as a way to drag people down to his level, its rlly fun. i like macaque a lot

i'll be real, i don't think macaque steps in because he genuinely wants to help mk, it's more like he sees mk (season 2 specifically here) as a smaller, weaker wukong that he can actually punch around. he knows if he tried to mess with the real wukong he'd get his ass handed to him, so he goes for the easier target. in season 4, his perspective is different but it still isn't 100% in mk's favor. and also imma be real his advice was butt booty dog water bHKBHADBHKAHAH

side note that im not able to articulate that well because its late but it moderately fits this topic: macaque uses shadow play as partially a way to continue placing doubt in mk's mind about wukong. macaque has a vendetta, and so he thinks everyone else should hate wukong too, no matter how wukong acts now. macaque practically refuses to accept wukong's changed because that would mean macaque would have to self reflect and realize that he isnt all that like he acts like he is. he's very self righteous and tries to put down mk while also placing doubt and manipulating mk into disliking and not trusting wukong. he does this like every chance he gets in season 3, also

#But maybe I think in general that ''antagonist'' is a better word to describe macaque rather than villain

sure! i can agree, mostly s4 and up, but in s1-3 he fits the bill for villain too, imo

#Anyways me on team ''Wukong and Macaque both hurt each other in equally fucked up ways'': my totally unbiased imp opinion#''Wukong was on a path of self-destruction. We all were.''#MY PERSONAL INTERPRETATION: MK is to Macaque what the Monk was to Wukong.

oh yeah i agree, wukong and macaque are such a tragic duo because of all those centuries of baggage, and they've hurt eachother so much intentionally and unintentionally. its great, i love it

"wukong was on a path of self-destruction. we all were" that phrase caught my attention big time because up until those point macaque had like no remorse for anything he'd done, so it was super interesting having him say that to mk. i was like. what da hell, macaque redemption arc REAL!?!??!?!?! im interested to see where they take macaque! he's the most likely to get that redemption tbh he's got all the flags

also i think that's a pretty cool way to look at it, and i def see what you mean. mk's good nature and desire to help rubbing off on macaque when wukong's couldn't is a very cool way to look at things, and also it slots into canon very nicely. macaque won't listen to wukong, mainly because they're so connected and all those centuries of baggage (six eared "i want the old wukong back and i also blame him for everything that goes wrong" macaque), but having someone new who also has some stake in their lives (wukongs successor) be the one to tell him Stop Being Weird and having it work, its very interesting.

#LMK is very much a show about everyone dealing with the world in their own way.#Some open noodle shops. Some try to create a clean slate. Others want to leave the world better than they found it#And Macaque was very much just in survival mode trying not to die while also trying to get back at Wukong#''Look out for number one'' like that's how he coped with the world/how he saw it.#And MK kind of up-ended that point of view. 3x10 was THE time to abandon Mei yet MK refused to

so true! lego monkie kid's s1-3 message of the world being fine just the way it is because there's good people in it is what made me fall in love with the series at first. and also how it shows how people live their lives and keep moving despite the hardships of the world is very nice. me like. and yeah! macaque's "look out for number one" mentality is very nice and i like how that fits into his and wukongs characters. its very night and day (HA get it). wukong tries to look out for everyone else while macaque is only interested in looking out for himself. its cool , i like that. especially because it relates back to their original versions in the original story, where macaque represents the dark desires of the mind like his selfishness and spitefulness and wukong kills him as a sign of overcoming those desires and instead choosing the path towards enlightenment and doing good for others and the world.

macaque has a habit of forming full opinions and thoughts on people without properly knowing them and then sticking to those thoughts for the rest of time, not considering their ability to grow and change. mk constantly makes him have to come to terms with the fact that he is wrong and its so awesome. especially because we all know daaamn well that he saw himself in the "mei is my best friend, im not going to leave her when she needs me!" moment. its really good

#So strange to me people think they can't like villains. I'm assuming it's more than just the kids/teens in the fandom

yeah its super wild. a lot of ppl (esp in this fandom, i havent seen it this bad since like voltron i think and i wasnt even apart of that fandom) believe that to like a villain there has to be some reason why the character is secretly "the good guy" or something, because if they like a straight up bad guy then it means theyre a bad person, when in reality its just relating to the conflicts that those "bad guys" represent and stuff. idk its wild out here i have never seen people jump through so many hoops to justify why they like a villain. they dont have to be secret good people, they can be bad and you can like them because of that. like, one of my fav characters from modern cartoons is emperor belos from the owl house and that guy is like basically pure evil LOL

i'll answer your other tags tomorrow! i am very tired and it is past midnight for me. snoozing at my desk, almost

#critical . txt #🐒 critical watches the kid monkie show

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werebutch · 2 months

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WSBH chara q’s: (you don’t have to answer all the numbers, just whatever you want to 𖢘)

16/35/51 for Scotch

1/6/55 for Atlas

I LOVE YOU

16. What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

okay i truly think scotch argues with seraph in his head all the time. ALL the time. scotch largely ignores them, and vice versa, because he dislikes them and they know it. seraph is very conflict avoidant lol, and as long as hes not a "threat" they dont care to talk to him about their problems. he probably argues with atlas and jacob (his older brother) too, atlas about more stupid small stuff, and jacob about childhood and life stuff :p

im trying to think of more general groups he would argue with but i cant come up with anything BAHAH. hes not exactly conflict avoidant in the annoying libra way that seraph is, he more just ignores conflict for his friends’ (mostly atlas’) sake. idk if that makes sense LOL

35. What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made?

hmmm.. smallest? i mean scotch strings eloise along for most of the time pre timeskip. its not a main focus but its definitely important in order to understand scotch as a whole. she and scotch go out for a while, and mid way through that he realizes hes GAY gay. lol. and obviously lying to her about that is pretty questionable after a while. especially since he and atlas have been 👉👌 like the whole time. but she kind of knows. well

something a little bigger would be him encouraging or otherwise turning a blind eye to all the weird stuff atlas is up to. he doesn't know what it's like to be a werewolf, he can't say anything, right? lol.... murder is okay if its a talking dog doing it. scotch enabler supreme. actually when seraph is introduced, he and atlas have a 'joke' (kind of starts being real) about luring seraph somewhere to kill them. obviously doesnt happen and gets abandoned. but i think its important to know about their dynamic LOL

51. What’s a phrase they say a lot?

this guy is kind of goofy. i cant think of phrases rn but he has a specific way of speaking.. you could watch pretty much any old pop punk band interview and kind of get the idea. HAHAH

1. What’s the lie your character says most often?

atlas is a big fan of saying 'its fine' for all situations ever. family in mortal danger? its fine. completely splitting? its fine. arthritis excruciating? its fine. hes one of those people that dont like to deal with the fawning of others unless hes feeling real special. Ends up putting people in more danger a lot of the time. i think eloise is the only fan of communication in this friend group to be honest. i should have made her the main character

he tends to make promises he cant keep as well, but thats more general..

6. What’s their favorite [insert anything] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before?

i have NO idea. i feel like atlas would be a music snob, so maybe his favorite 'super underground' bands. otherwise he'd probably never recommend raw human meat to another human (no matter how much scotch asks -__-).. (he would chicken out anyway)

55. What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?

um. so atlas hates working out. he especially hates running, you know, the thing that wolves are known for doing a lot of? unfortunately the lycanthropy came with a side effect of pretty bad arthritis, so that doesnt exactly encourage him. he DOES exercise, a lot since hes pretty much required for his ermm "side job", but he hates it 😸 besides the arthritis it’s mostly because I think it’s silly that he hates it. yay

#ummm a lot of what i talk about with my ocs are the character relationships but thats why i write. i like gossip. its fun. LMFAO #im actually having trouble deciding whether i want atlas to be a killer or not. like regularly killing i mean. hes definitely killed SOMEON #im really inspired by ginger snaps and scream. i dont even like scream that much but it reminds me of how they are. lol #scotch and atlas are pretty different but theres two things i see as themes. they both hate communication (and that causes conflict; so mor #avoiding). and the fact that scotch lives vicariously through atlas. atlas is doing #what scotch thinks is interesting. for pretty much the entire time; scotch likes to beg atlas to turn him. i think scotch sees the lack of #control he has over his life and sees lycanthropy as power. arguably thats why scotch is so attracted to atlas. lol #idk. thats not canon. im just thinking out loud here.#and yk it is power but not freedom. atlas would much rather just be a regular wolf. hunting and shit. but hes got these damn people here lo #but he sees what his life is like being a lycanthrope and hes kinda like. no. im not bringing that onto you. you dont know what youre askin #YOU KNOW? its goofy. i know. but its fun. LOL #if you (a general audience you but it can be you too grins) want to talk about scotch's confusion about his attraction to eloise we'd be #here all day. i think scotch is an egg. i dont know. i truly think theres some vicarious living (again) through her femininity.#and el is trans so he doesnt see her femininity as unattainable to him. you know? i hope that makes sense lol and im kind of projecting on #to him wif dat. to be honest. but obviously in the other direction. BWAHAH #asks #eucyon #thank u for da ask jesse this is so fun ^__^ and exciting that someone remembers their names HAH #after all this talking in the tags what I meant to say is that scotch and atlas both have sick intentions. it’s just that scotch doesn’t #act on them. and atlas does. so. living vicariously. ok

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olberic · 4 months

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ranking anime i’ve watched in 2023:

as expected, here’s this year’s top 10 for how much i personally enjoyed the anime i’ve watched this year. ive watched more than this, but god i watched so many bad ones…. even number 10 sucks but everything else was worse. sad!

as always thank u gifmakers for ur service 🫡 the world would be nothing without u all

10. the legendary hero is dead! (2023)

youtube

dont watch this show. it sucks and its bad. hey. come here. hold my hand. now lets just watch and enjoy the OP ok? don't worry about the rest.

9. my daughter left the nest and returned as an s-rank adventurer (2023)

i have to admit this show charmed me. its not the best thing ive ever seen but its nice. comfy. yknow? i haven't finished it but it's enjoyable. can't rank it higher until i finish it

8. sabikui bisco (2022)

if it werent for the positively nonsensical jump in the middle of the show and the way theres just like. a lot of gaps? it’d rank higher. it’s a very cool premise for a show and i like the bisco/milo dynamic, and [SISTER] is fun as hell. it didnt wow me though overall, and while i enjoyed it i was hoping for more.

7. trigun stampede (2023)

im sorry trigun stans i simply didnt love it. i see the appeal i really do but it just didnt hook me. i really liked the animation and the storyline. im intrigued by whatever the fuck is going on with those plants and yall have said theres a tallgirl in the next season? so i’ll keep watching. i just didnt love it

6. that time i got reincarnated as a slime (2019-2021)

in contrast to #7, i can see why this show is weak HOWEVER i just enjoyed it. i like it. huge fan of how much gender the protag has. i love how they get new powers. i enjoy that it can be interpreted as an extremely bisexual show. it was well paced and the slime diaries OVA was a great addition. a lot of the characters really stuck with me too and its like. idk. one of my favourite isekais i guess

5. buddy daddies (2023)

this should rank higher. its so fun. its SO fun. its silly and it doesnt take itself seriously. i laughed in every episode. the dynamic between the guys is great. the dynamics between them and the kid is great. just a really solid show if you can stand the queerbaiting. i dont even care

4. bocchi the rock! (2022)

the bocchi side of tumblr is right this show rules. i like how real bocchi’s social anxiety feels (literally how it felt when i had it). the characters are entertaining, the show’s well done, they even have solid music (which band-based shows dont always do right!). its really funny and its really earnest and its a joy to watch

3. demon slayer: swordsmith village arc (2023)

i included the entertainment district arc in last year’s list so this arc makes the cut. im always late getting around to watch the new stuff and i dont want to read the manga but god DAMN does this show hit different. incredible fight scenes. i loved everything they did for the hashira backstories. i love whatever the fuck is up with genya. it even gave me some akaza to sustain me for the next year or whatever. ik this show gets overhyped but its normal hyped. to me.

2. frieren: beyond journey's end (2023)

oughhh frieren… ive only known this show for a few months but it means to much to me… i dont even wanna talk about it because its so good i just wanna watch it again. go watch frieren if you havent already its anime of the decade. to me

1. gundam: the witch from mercury (2022-2023)

ive never seen a gundam before but i will be watched them after this! what can be said about it that hasnt already been said on this site. the romance storyline is impeccable, the fights are awesome, the moral questions it posed were excellently covered. by the end of the first episode i was speechless. by the end of the last episode i'd cried like 4 times over the course of the show. this thing made me cry to happy birthday. what the fuck

#t #i dont main tag these on principle but i do want to find these later so im using my tag system. sorry main tag browsers #tensura #buddy daddies #bocchi #kny #frieren #gundam

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entering--hyperspace · 7 months

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Emperor and Págos dynamic rambling

I being a sort of "My Tav's core romance is with the emperor" vibe that Normal baldurs gate players really dont like

Anyway. I feel like i've gone through all stages of grief and have temporarily arrived at acceptance for this brief period of time, lets get it.

I'm going to ramble abt Págos individually. and their dynamic as that progresses.

Págos may not initially be aware that he's a dragon, but he sure does act like one. He cannot shake the core of who he is, personality shaped by being the truth of his origins.

He is Stubborn, he sees the world in hard rights and wrongs but not in the sense of morality but rather what he deems to make sense. And yet he carries with him the patience of a being that can live for centuries, a sort of stillness to conflict. Inherently intense but not negatively so. Half of who he is, half of what it took for when he became tired of war and conquest. And he is also alien to it, in his life he was always both the mighty and the meek, and with his lost memories in the present he can sense something missing about himself and his relations to others but isn't able to fully grasp it.

So. The dream visitor. Of course he does not trust him, why would he? It is obvious to him, he knows war, he knows tactics and manipulation, he knows when he is being lied to. And yet, the sincerity is what gives him pause, the half truths, the small slips of the mask.

Their conversations are tip toeing on ice, smiles even though they are both aware a game is being played. So after the initial first icebreaker conversations, they start treating each visit like a game of chess. Embrace the power of the tadpoles, the confidence it isn't needed, why follow the instructions when the person giving them is obviously wearing a mask.

I think the emperor initially found him frustrating, and vice versa, but there was a realization that they were equally matched and what was frustration became begrudging Admiration. Dare I say another shared trait was loneliness. As much as they both needed an ally, the dream visitor needed a friend though he would probably think he was above such sentiment. Págos was surrounded by people he was growing closer to, but at the same time no one was able to engage him quite like his mysterious ally could.

Págos got him to reveal more of his true feelings than he would like to admit. And then the climax of it all: the dream visitor a mindflayer. And more surprising: Págos did not care. I mean, he cared for an explanation, but he does not hold the same knowledge of mindflayers, its not above him of there being a possibility that in the evilness of their faction, one could be good. The same way chromatic dragons and their followers were infamous for their own "evil" ambitions, while he decided to break free of it.

I think their thin friendship grew into an actual one after more truths were revealed. Págos valued his opinion more than he did beforehand, and The Emperor was willing to briefly put aside his own arrogance for the one person who could actually challenge him. You need me, I need you.

It was only natural it would evolve into something further, I think it was only elevated by the way Págos treated him as an individual rather than a presumptuous idea of what a mindflayer is, not out of sympathy really, but more out of like, facts. I think the idea of them being equally matched in the "games" they play with each other is kinda attractive to him (the emperor). Someone who could match him move for move.

For Págos…

But what is more tempting to a dragon than gold and glory? Devotion to a cause. to a person, to a feeling.

I do want to clarify that Págos do grow to care deeply about him, I just meant like, to Págos it was much less complicated on his part. I feel like the emperor had a whole thing he had to process before he came to the conclusion he was growing fond of Págos, whereas Págos that's just simply what it was. There was no questioning it.

Anyway, Ough. The wyrm trials, the "there is no war in ba sing se" moment. Págos has almost always been able to tell when he was lying, and it became even more obvious after sharing their minds together that one night, he can read him so much easier. So of course he knew he was lying again

And so the reveal of Ansur, the reveal of his past life as Balduran, and Págos' memories flooding back about who HE is.

The only reason Págos and the emperor were not aware of the fact he's a dragon is because the emperor didn't Dig for his memories, he merely studied what was given and there in the moment.

When Ansur possesses him its stated in the game he quite literally Forces himself into your mind, he searches through every inch of it. And I think at first he is too distracted by Balduran's presence. It's not until he gets to the part where he calls Págos Balduran's "thrall" that he hesitates. He searches deeper, and it makes him Angrier.

Him digging deeper into Págos' mind causes Págos to remember. His mother, his clan in its entirety, his nature as a white dragon, But Págos doesn't get to swallow this until later. Ansur gets angrier. He accuses Balduran of replacing him with another Dragon, of making a dragon his thrall, it disgusts him further. And before anyone can get answers the fight begins as it does in game.

The afterwards conversation feels like more of a confrontation, pointed sharp questions. "Why did you keep this from me" "why did you never speak of him" "Why did you kill him" Págos' emotions slipping through due to the revelations about himself also. Ansur was his friend, and yet the emperor probably knew him better than he did. And yet there is that one inexplicable truth. Ansur inspired him to break free of the oath, and it was Ansur's oath that killed him. The cruel irony of it all.

The emperor answers this less defensive than he does in game. I feel like he is a little more sincere in this canon with the fact that he and Págos are...something.

And Págos cannot deny his logic. Its true he was an adventurer, ansur was never mentioned and he never asked, it's true Págos knows what survival can do to someone. He's seen it, he has lived it, he has been the hand that twisted back the knife many times. "You would have done the same." A statement the emperor knows is true. But it's the withholding of more information that angers Págos, rightfully of course. And then the final sting of, "Will you kill me too?" Because Págos cannot devote himself to something that will once again lead him to a cliff's edge, not again.

I think the emperor is more vulnerable there, he tells him how he still mourns his previous companions, he tells him how much he lost, and he tells him of course not, Págos is different, he Trusts him, it was for his own survival, a last resort. At the same time, he is trying to do and say anything that will keep Págos at his side, because just this once he found an ally,a partner that accepts him as he is (and is powerful at that) the idea of losing that…he would avoid it by any means necessary.

#págos #bg3 tav #bg3 emperor #thats all im tagging this as bc this is legit just shit abt my tav

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 10 months

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@cosmicallyavg okay sorry if you didnt want me to respond but the autism won today and i thought abt nothing but this for like 3 hours so

i think the doctor knows yaz has done/will do the same morally questionable things as her if it becomes necessary? because for her to be self aware about herself, and then also aware of yaz becoming her in a way. she has to assume that its a possibility. and asking her to hold the master at gunpoint is her testing that theory i think. because yaz very well could have straight up not done it but in the end, shes her equal, she admires her (and wants to impress her lets be real), and she has a duty of care. she knows/assumes how dangerous the master is and doesnt want anything to happen to Her doctor if she can help it. theres no use being squeamish weve got the doctor to save.

i hadnt thought of that angle but the doctor consciously sort of testing how much yaz will indeed do exactly as she herself would, and guessing right on that front is so interesting. i was reading 13s comics yesterday and she did it multiple times there too, like delegating to yaz for llittle minidoctor tasks like occupying herself with a victim like she does in witchfinders with willa too, and like just literally going "yaz, go play police at those aliens" (i said "be police" first but 1 no jurisdiction, and 2 for the doctor 'be' and 'play' are the same thing)

and when she gets yaz that gun, it's so interesting bc to me at least it feels like simultaneously theres the power dynamic of doctor-companion where yaz is definitely a step lower like shes not in charge here (compared to later with vinder) but what the doctor uses that power she has to do is to like place some of it in yaz if that makes sense? she's using yaz as a proxy of herself, which sounds bad but i think thats what shes doing?

like guns for the doctor are this visual sign that theyre going against their own principles right? it's not really the violence of guns that the doctor protests bc theyre plenty violent, but it's a visual representation of their principles right? we see this with 10 when he wont take wilfs gun against the master but when he hears timelords are coming he does. 13 being willing to use a gun on the master means shes willing to break her own rules to deal with him (which the doctor always kinda is with them thats part of the problem but i dont think it's in the "i forgive you one more time even though i shouldnt way" this time)

but also! she doesnt touch the gun herself. she orders a soldier thats at her command (actively breaking her own rules) to give it to yaz. ace talks abt this i believe in at childhoods end, to yaz. that like, the doctor is not opposed to violence but they will keep their own hands clean if they can. as opposed to 10 who picked up the gun himself, 13 lets yaz do it. and then later, bc of course the doctor cant shoot people, yaz lets vinder be the one to actually shoot the master.

so 13 is outsourcing her principle breaking wrt the master to yaz, but i think shes aware of it. it's not like letting yaz handle the gun is eschewing her own responsibility, i think she doubles her feeling of responsibility, bc not only is she breaking her own rules, shes making yaz break them too (clara voice: and now youve made me lie! youve made me your accomplice!) which is why it feels so simultaneously like equal and unequal, yaz is both doctor and companion in potd.

(short detour abt what you said abt "theres no use being squeamish weve got the doctor to save" like yeah thats exactly it. i wrote a fic where yaz shoots the master and the doctor is like Why The Fuck Did You Do That bc while she expected yaz to take the gun (bc she would), she didnt expect her to shoot (bc she wouldnt), but that then maybe reveals a sort of distorted image she has of both herself and yaz. bc yaz did shoot, which means the doctor would shoot even if shes so dedicated to the image of herself as The Doctor that she might not realise that she would. and it reveals an underestimation of yazs feelings for her, and her sense of duty, and how far she will go, has gone, to try and save the doctor. the master is a threat, so she shoots (im thinking again of clara and 8x12 where 12 literally offers to shoot missy to protect clara('s immortal soul))

and abt that equality, like, there was this photoset i saw last week of bts stuff from s11 i think? chibnall talking abt the first meeting in the train. which was basically just like that post i made ythat you linked except chibnall was talking abt it from 13s perspective, which i hadnt considered dkdjdjdh

i saw your tags when you reblogged that post and i thought abt them for a bit but didnt respond bc i dont think i entirely agree? theres a definite, like, respect and i think recognition on the doctors side of things when they first meet and she does the thing i wrote abt in that post where she like listens to yaz and then presents her own plan and this first listening to yaz probably fixed a problem they might have had if she had just forcefully tried to push yaz out of the authority position she was in there as a police among civilians, where yaz might have fought for the leadership position the entire rest of the night and maybe rest of their time together (not that thats not also a fun version of events to think about)

anyway to get back to the point, yes theres that respect, and the doctor uses yaz for her skills since the beginnig, but i dont really agree that it's equal necessarily. the power difference is too big and too easily leveraged by 13 for me to call it equal

when it comes to doctor-companion power dynamics the first thing i always think about is the tardis, because it's this really concrete and undeniable representation of that power right? you need this ship and you need this pilot or you are most likely never going home again. thats just like a fact at the foundation of most doctor-companion relationships (excluding companions who have their own means of transport or could fly the tardis maybe like river or romana). im not saying thats on purpose or the doctor likes it, im just saying when youre stranded on an alien planet and theres one person who is capable of making sure you dont die, doug eiffel voice: really really far away from home, then youre not gonna do anything that person doesnt want you to do. or at least youre gonna be hesitant to

so following the big bluish money (tardis), i think the real equality between them finally only really arrives

here. in their last scene together. where the doctor can say "you know what this means right?" bc yaz already does despite still not being told anything, and yaz can say "lets not say goodbye" bc the doctor is not good at goodbyes and the doctor is both of them

thats what really appeals to me abt writing them post-potd everybody lives happily ever after au, this partnership that we only ever got to see glimpses of. in a version of events where 13 lived after this, we could see what that partnership really would have looked like

#true equality #not bc yaz can fly the tardis but bc of it represents #also im thinking now of a post-potd au series where they just. keep going #and bc i used the word 'partnership' im now like is that just a cop show ghkjhjgh #look they shouldve deconstructed that i think that they didnt isl ike a gaping hole in the thematic consistency #but im just gonna assume there wasnt time #13 also shouldve get to deal with her anger abt the timeless child #anyway thats not the point #the point is in my head they live happily ever after and maybe one day deal with the fact that theyre space police #and then stop doing that #and become like space fire fighters or smth #yaz could easily be a firefighter did you see her carry the doctor #anyway #thsi is super long feel free to just not read it. sometimes i just dont read stuff either like i get it hfkjghj

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