#Mcelroys eat your heart out

[afreakingdork]

Reader stan here, happy to see more and more people are recognizing reader's impeccable rizz!! /lh

Ah but also..Donnie scrapping someone off the contending list just because in his eyes, she's not in reader's good graces. What a DORK.

And not to ramble but GOSH, reader is such a good influence to most, if not, every person they've come across in this fic. It didn't even cross my mind that Donnie would be apprehensive of being poisoned until Reader did AND made the point of eating first.

I enjoy these two so so much, I initially enjoyed them because I *love* a tinge of co-dependency and 'ride-or die', but overtime I also came to appreciate just how mature their love became.

That kind of love that's mellowed down and though it's not *exciting* perhaps, it's part of everyday life now and they've just become so comfortable around eachother.

As someone who's arospec but at the same time, a hopeless romance enjoyer, I used to be disillusioned and scared of that stage of love because I thought of it as being the end where you've grown bored of eachother. Now I realize it's not boredom, it's simple contentment with the other and damn, I see the light now!!

ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING AND GETTING A LIL EMOTIONAL THERE, it's a testament of how freaking amazing of a writer you are!! Do you plan on ever making original novels??

Reader stan!!

Reader could have told Donnie they didn't like Ingis' clothes and Donnie would have dumped them off the list on even that 🤭

What's funny is I never intended and I still don't intend to make reader out to be some magical person. They're only prowess is the sea of all these dumb-dumbs is that they have the boldness to be honest above all else. It's their curse and gets them into so many scrapes, but there's such a power to being able to blurt out to someone something truly from the heart. It has such a power on this bunch precisely because they've struggled for so long with a lack of honesty and communication. Donnie has learned long and hard throughout the series that he needs to be upfront and honest and him heading in that direction is starting to take affect as well even though reader as a batting average that far exceeds his own!

There's something about 'healthy' or maybe 'chosen' co-dependency that I love so much! If both parties want it, is it really so bad to spend all your time together? I've had a ton of friends who've felt the same, you just need to be ready and honest when you no longer want to be that way!

Not to wax my experience here because I am quite single and in reality have very little experience, but I think your fears are founded, it's just how you react when you reach that stage. If you don't let yourself get complacent it's totally fine! You don't need puppy love to continue a relationship. There's nothing wrong with that initial spark going out, because it's lit a candle! Tend to the flame and you'll reap the light rewards! I subscribe to the Justin McElroy way to relationships: always strive to give 60/40. If both partners strive to do more than neither will feel left out. Also it's literally impossible for you to both give that much! As long as you make an effort for your loved one, that's what's going to shine through.

But like also don't strive if they don't! You do gotta watch yourself first and foremost!

Not a babble at all! Thank you for writing in!!! I do have my own original story planned, more than a decade in the making! It will see the light of day some day!

#ask

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 67

Metamorphosis/Daleks In Manhattan

“Metamorphosis”

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I would legitimately never be in this situation, so sure

ooooooo now we get to find out all the things Sam’s been up to…and so does Dean…

This is only slightly more awkward and strained than the McElroys’ “don’t do a hit” PSA. Maybe both of these are signs to separate business and family

This show’s so fucking weird. They spent the first three seasons either ignoring the existence of a god or just flat out not believing in one, but now…NOW god does not want Sam to be doing what he’s doing

Whatever is happening to this man is really difficult to take while I’m eating lunch and having the sound pumped directly into my ears. It’s like bones cracking or even breaking. Eugh

I forgot Dean didn’t know Sam knew about the demon blood……it’s getting FAR more awkward than “don’t do a hit.”

Ew. Dude, is that RAW MEAT??? I hate watching this on my lunch. It’s always the WORST episodes…

They really use the most thinly veiled metaphors to parallel whatever conflict is going on between Sam and Dean, like, one sheet of saran wrap thin

I miss the days when they’d pull off to the side of the road to have nice little heart to hearts not yelling “I’VE GOT DEMON BLOOD IN ME, DEAN!!”

How long after hearing the phrase “long pig” did Dean start to come up with alternatives like “manburger helper”?

It’s not funny to have two men in their mid to late twenties carrying makeshift flame throwers break down your door, but hearing “we’re here to save you…I guess” and “we should leave” “yeah” almost immediately after kinda is. It’s only funny because the audience knows Sam and Dean

Aw, fuck. The other hunter’s gotten involved now…noooo, is this guy’s wife pregnant??? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck…

It’s the gross, wet sounds of this dude LITERALLY feasting on this hunter for me…can’t blame the wife for running away screaming after watching that

The boys showing up 15 minutes late with Starbucks…ooooo, a floor fit for a children’s hospital (how many times will this show give me the opportunity to use that joke??)

Well, that COULD have been a nice moment for Dean to reassure Sam if Jack hadn't attacked.

I’ll have to find it (maybe) but I once read a post about how Sam’s storyline in these first seasons especially tells a very queer coded story, and this episode really really hits you in the face with it. Like, yes, bi Dean and whatever…but there IS something to the heartache that Sam feels being othered to his own family by this thing he had no control over. This wasn’t his choice. It’s really resonant when Sam makes the decision to stop using his psychic powers because they made Dean uncomfy...Dean who has used "god doesn't want you doing this" but also only very recently started MAYBE believing there's a god? Sam think Dean believes he's a freak and less than human or at least other than human, sometimes saying that he's getting closer and closer to the things they hunt instead. I just...I see it.

“Been On My Mind…”: I think I’m gonna do a countdown…if in 10 episodes’ time I haven’t had a yes? I’m discontinuing this segment

"Daleks In Manhattan"

Lazlo should watch Supernatural. Then he wouldn't have gone investigating that weird noise and not gotten turned into a strange pig hybrid

I have a terrible feeling this is one of those two part episodes based solely on the fact that I'm struggling to say anything about this one. The Doctor and Martha are in 1930 NYC, and we're getting a lot of character introductions: the people and specifically the leader of Hooverville, the workers at the Empire State Building, the theater workers (performers and backstage), but nothing's really HAPPENING yet. Though, we're about to get our first glimpse of the Daleks, so that's something at least

There are so many times I'm glad I accidentally fucked up the scheduling and missed an episode of spn because having to hear the term "long pig" all during my lunch and now having these human/pig hybrids has mad that incredibly worth it, and there have been so many other small things that have lined up

Awww baby Andrew Garfield. He's precious, lookin' out for Martha

Somehow I think this foreman trying to get the Empire State Building built for the Daleks is gonna get either killed or turned into something at least close to a Dalek...either way, it's not what he thinks he's gonna get

Nooo, poor baby Andrew Garfield.

oh. that's equal parts terrifying and terrible...the guy who was getting "rewarded" by the Daleks just got...absorbed?? by one? And the CGI!!! Simply atrocious (affectionate)!!!

The showgirl did NOT sign up for all this...well, she's signing up for it NOW, I guess

I can't take this seriously...this is one of the weirdest story lines they've done and......the costuming...again, atrocious (affectionate) The guy who got combined with a Dalek? it looks so bad...

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

[mcnuggyy]

have u stated what ur ethnicity hc are for the thundermen? i really liked ur human au designs (not really sure how best to phrase this)

ah! i think only for Fitzroy so far? but I'd love to share them here for those of you who are interested!

As you know I HC Fitzroy as mixed race mex-am (mestizo specifically) I have a lot of thoughts about him and assimilation (and being a child of immigrants) and his character arc but I will save that for another time fjfjfjf ;w; I hc Rainer as afro-mexicana, because besties <333 and I think it would be nice for them to have culture being an important thing they share together! (This relates to his character arc I mentioned and having a safe place to explore his culture with someone but AGAIN for another time </3) In the human au Argo is White/Filipino/Afro-Cuban, (don't ask me if all of them are going to be Latine and/or mixed race in some way or another you should know by now the answer is going to be yes, it’s my comfort media and I make the rules now 😔💕) For Gary I tried to consider the accent Justin gave him so I made him Russian Sámi/Peruvian(mestizo) (and also maybe Jewish because I love my gf very much and i gotta mention it just for him <3 )

but yeah these are my very self indulgent hcs!! (* ´w`*)♡

#callate guero #replies #anonymous #taz #Mcelroys eat your heart out #BAJAJAJAA #idc if its unrealistic that all these latine kids from different backgrounds are besties its fantasy and if everyone can be white #in other fantasy settings #then the three main characters can be latine in this au <3

[ask-spider-man-61610]

Reunion

P: my phone's about to die. i'm an idiot.

MJ: stop talking like that, dumbass, i'll kill you

MJ: ok jamestown is still a few hours away, i gotta keep driving

P: i should be there by morning. mcelroy park, right?

MJ: can you find it without a map? or your glasses?

No answer.

Presumably his phone had died. In the parking lot of McElroy Park, Jamestown, North Dakota, Emjay sat on the hood of her car, anxiously scrolling through her text message history with Peter as she waited.

Morning had come and gone. The chill of North Dakota in the wintertime was setting into Emjay's bones, sinking into her even through the thick coat she had wrapped around herself. She couldn't keep her teeth from chattering, and she was sure she was attracting weird looks from passerby. But there was nothing to be done about that. Until Peter showed up, she wasn't moving. Which just made the minutes ticking by that much more nerve-wracking.

What if he'd been captured again after his last text? What if he had passed out and fallen off the bus he'd been sticking to? Emjay had gotten so, so lucky when breaking him out of 42; she didn't think she'd get that lucky twice.

Automatically, she lifted her brown eyes away from the phone when a truck passed by on the road fifty feet away. She'd done it a hundred times in the last four hours.

But this time her patience was rewarded. Because as the truck drove along without slowing down, it left behind a man on the opposite sidewalk who hadn't been there before.

Her heart skipped a beat. Pocketing her phone, sliding off the hood of her car with a lurch, Emjay hurried across the parking lot and stood on the sidewalk across from the man. He couldn't see her--he'd been forced to ditch his contact lenses when they had dried out completely, and without them he was just this side of legally blind. But he'd always said that he could pick her heartbeat out of a crowd, and now as it pulsed through the air and vibrated through the asphalt beneath them she could see his face break into a smile. Without looking--and with bare feet, she noticed--he stepped off the sidewalk and began to cross the street.

A car screeched to a stop and honked its horn at him. With only a wince of discomfort at the noise, and with all the attitude of the New Yorker he was, Peter flipped the driver off without breaking stride. In a few seconds he had reached her, and Peter and Emjay embraced in the most desperate hug of their lives.

"You're late," Emjay mumbled into his shoulder, squeezing as tight as she could.

Peter snorted. "Yeah. Sorry." His voice was tired and shaky. As Emjay loosened her hold on him enough to lean back and look at him, he let his arms drop limply.

Peter Parker was a wreck. His eyes were bloodshot and wouldn't fully open; thick dark circles surrounded them. The bruises he had received three days ago had faded, but one cheek was still swollen from the molar he had torn out. His dark brown hair was greasy and frazzled; thick stubble darkened his gaunt cheeks and sharp chin.

Emjay didn't comment on any of this. But as she dug his glasses out of a pocket and unfolded them to slip onto his face, ignoring the way he winced at his spider-sense in response, she noted aloud, "You're trembling. Low bloodsugar?"

Nodding, Peter said, "I...I haven't had much to eat over the past few days." As his glasses were pushed up to meet the scar across the bridge of his nose, Emjay's disapproving look came into focus. He shrugged. "Didn't have any money. I stole what food I could, but..."

Spider-sense flared momentarily in pitch again; a poor man's version of its high, sharp note of move. He tilted his head to one side, avoiding Emjay's attempt at a playful bonk to the forehead.

"You're such a dumbass," she said, but she said it with more affection in her voice than you would hear in a thousand love songs. "C'mon. I saw an IHoB on the way over here. Let's get you some food."

--

"Keep 'em coming."

The waitress at the International House of Burgers, who probably wasn't used to people as haggard as Peter showing up before nine in the evening, looked uncertainly at Emjay. It took a second for her to notice, as she was too busy watching Peter down his third burger with a kind of revolted fascination, but eventually she caught the look and nodded silently. Gingerly, the waitress took Peter's fourth empty glass and went to refill it with soda.

"You know," Peter said with his mouth full, "I think this is the longest I've gone without caffeine in, like, two years. You would not believe the headache I've had since Sunday." He swallowed his mouthful of burger before stuffing the last of it into his mouth.

Rather than answer, she picked one of her fries out of the basket between them and swirled it in the pink sauce she had before her. "How much can you eat at once?" she asked, baffled, watching Peter pick up Burger #4. "I mean, it doesn't leave the stomach right away! I get that your powers need like a jillion calories, but--but at some point your stomach just can't hold it all, right?"

"You'd be surprised. Stomach walls are pretty elastic, mine even more so." He paused to eat half the burger in one bite; Emjay's nose wrinkled as she watched pickles and mustard spill out the other side. "...You look like you're going to hurl."

"Let's change the subject," Emjay said as she pushed away her fries. "Have you been paying attention to the news?" When her boyfriend shook his head, she snorted and said, "So you pretty much used the entirety of your phone battery talking to the Cluster."

Peter swallowed his mouthful defensively. "New members showed up! I had to give them an introduction to the multiverse."

Laughing, Emjay got out her phone as she said, "It is so cute to watch you fawning over all those spiderlings. But the reappearance of like thirteen hundred enhanced humans has really sent the world buzzing." She opened up a New York Times article that she'd saved and pushed it across the table at her boyfriend. His fingers slick with burger grease, Peter picked up the phone as he consumed the last bite of the latest burger and his eyes flickered back and forth across the screen at superhuman speed. Watching strength and steadiness return to him, bit by bit as his body's need for calories was satisfied, had been a welcome relief, but to watch excitement light up his eyes now made Emjay want to hug him tight all over again. She wanted to see that look in his eyes for the rest of their lives.

He set down the phone and pushed it back across to her as a gleeful laugh shuddered its way out of his chest. "This changes everything," he whispered to her, leaning forward, not even acknowledging the waitress as she set down his newest glass of soda. "The CCA is--is a hollow shell now! Everybody knows what it's been doing! All those protests, those riots--" He looked ready to cry. "This is better than I even dared to hope."

"I know," Emjay said, and the way she smiled now made her dimples deepen beautifully and her freckles seem to sparkle. "Just like that, the revolution's on." She looked up as the waitress started to walk away. "Uh, check please."

"What? I'm not done eating."

"You'd eat everything they have except the bacon if you had the chance, Peter. But we gotta go. And I'm not kissing you until you shave that stubble off."

#Odyssey arc #Spider-Man #Peter Parker #Specs #Mary Jane Watson #Emjay #PeterMJ #ooc story #story

[sukunastoy]

TIL that some cultures believed that it was beneficial to eat other humans, and this happened in the relatively recent past.

This an excerpt from Sawbones by Justin McElroy and Dr. Sydnee McElroy:

- The first thing to understand is chat, back in those times, the idea of 'spirit' was an important component of how we understood health. While it could not be seen, the spirit was thought to be physically contained within the body. It stood to reason (sort of) that a good way to maintain your own spirit was to consume someone else's.

- Another contributing factor was the popularity of homeopathy at the time. While homeopathic medicine does not inherently suggest eating other people, it does incorporate the idea that 'like cures like.' In this instance, one may conclude that a good cure for a headache would be to eat someone else's head. Well, their skull to be more precise. A little bit of it, anyway.

- The third important notion to understand is that it was commonly believed that all creatures have a predetermined life span -- but also that it's possible to accidentally die before you use up those years. If one person died too early, someone else could harvest those extra years by ... eating them. You know how enemies in The Legend of Zelda sometimes drop hearts after Link kills them? It's sort of like that, except you never saw Link frying up a Gannon flank steak.

So TILDR maybe Sukuna doesn't eat people out of sheer villainy and malice, he's just bad at science because medicine in the 1000s was just Like That.

Well you learn somethin new every day!! 😱😱 I've had two theories to Sukuna's cannibalistic tendencies, and now you've given me a third, and its hilarious. 🤣🤣 I've always assumed: He's a psychotic monster who enjoys torturing others and consuming them just to be a terror. OR, there is a reason he consumes others, and that is to gain either their cursed abilities/powers, or to become stronger. But, just thinking of Sukuna taking a bite out of someone's head when he's having a headache, or just eating their guts when he had a stomach ache? Its kind of hilarious. 🤣 He's not as terrifying like we thought, he's just severely misinformed and misunderstood. This big sexy af beast lurking around for someone to chew on for his ailments.

#sukuna is just a confused boi #jjk sukuna #i really do enjoy learning things though #thank you for the information!

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

hey so - this reply was written by me! I want to expand on this point a little past 280 characters

(when I say podcasts in this essay I’m specifically talking about fiction podcasts)

Podcasts are perhaps the only medium that has absolutely no gatekeeping. Writing books and stories requires help from big publishing houses - even if you self-publish, you’ll need a corporation like Amazon to provide the books for you. I actually have self-published before and I can *assure* you that gatekeeping is still present. TV shows and movies are also created by high-budget studios who re-hire the same famous actors to tell the same stories, except the white boy and girl who fall in love have slightly different lines. 

But podcasts? No barriers. No boundaries. You can get a $30 mic from Amazon, make a free podbean account, and start uploading episodes literally the same day. Sure, for a really high-quality production, you’ll need to invest more time and money, but it’s very doable. 

As such, almost anyone can get into podcasts. It doesn’t matter what you look like, because no one can even see your face. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a fancy degree from a good school. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a huge marketing budget, because if you’re smart with social media and create good content, you can get people to pay *you* for airtime on your show. 

Because the creator pool can be so diverse, it is. And the stories it tells are even more diverse! Want a Jewish gay man of unspecified race in a relationship with a Latinx scientist on the spectrum, who live in a town governed by two black women and populated by literally countless queer characters? You’ve got it! Want a story about a black nonbinary lady with depression who falls in love with an Asian man, who, bonus points, is also a well-written feminine gay man? You get that too! Want a crew of astronauts with women in leadership roles who are well rounded past being just a “strong female character”? Sure thing! A lesbian trucker searching for her wife, and actually having a healthy relationship that isn’t at all fetishized? Podcasts have that! You want shows that *actually* cast queer, trans, and non-white actors? Yes!!! Most popular podcasts do that!! Did you hear that - the *most popular* podcasts are created with diverse acting and creating bodies!!!!!!!

and here’s the part where I get personal. I’m a non-straight woman (I alternate between using the labels “bisexual” “queer” “homoflexible” and sometimes, because it’s quick and I’m mostly attracted to women and straight people don’t understand microlabels, “gay”) with several mental illnesses, including depression. The first podcast I ever listened to was Welcome to Night Vale. When Cecil and Carlos became a couple I almost wept. I had never, ever, had good queer representation in a show, much less two well-written characters I actually felt invested in. When they actually got married, I wept. I lay in my bed and cried for half an hour. I had never thought I would see a healthy gay couple in a show, ever. 

And then I found even more shows - shows like the ones I mentioned above. I found female characters. I found QUEER FEMALE CHARACTERS that I related to! And I found characters with depression written REALISTICALLY! I have never felt so seen!

I have so much love for podcast creators. One of my favorite things about this community is the allyship. People like Fink and Cranor, or the McElroy’s, who understand how important queer representation is, and provide it in abundance. People who validate, protect, and encourage their fans. Podcast fans keep podcast productions growing through Patreon or crowdfunding, and in return podcast creators... well, they rip our hearts out with emotions and eat them in front of us. But we love that!!!!

And this is why I’m so scared of podcasts becoming “mainstream”. Big corporations creating podcasts have nothing to gain from us except listenership. They’ll be sponsored by other large corporations, not fans or indie productions buying airspace. They can be “safe” when it comes to representation, and they probably will be. In short, they don’t have to create art. They can just create okay, nice enough stories. 

Podcasts are revolutionary. Do you know how many times I’ve seen a movie and said “that was a bad movie”? A shit ton of times! Do you know how many times I’ve listened to a podcast and thought “this is a bad podcast”? Never!! (Not fiction, at least - a bunch of “politics and current events” podcasts that I’ve tried turn my stomach). Even if the audio quality isn’t great, it’s always clear that the creators genuinely care about what they are making and the stories they’re telling and they’re not! Just! Adding! Representation! To be woke!

I genuinely might be dead right now if podcasts hadn’t come into my life. Welcome to Night Vale in particular - it has helped me fall asleep on nights when my intrusive thoughts felt like they were tearing me apart. It introduced me to this amazing medium and all the people who are a part of it. I don’t want to see this thing I love so much turned into a profit machine by capitalism. So I’m really, really nervous about podcasts becoming mainstream. 

TL;DR because the podcasting medium has essentially no gatekeeping, it can be very diverse, and it is. This has led to a great fan-creator dynamic of mutual support and created many positive examples of representation. If big studios and corporations are able to produce podcasts on large budgets with little consequence for a bad or boring story, they might drive the art form in a direction that makes it harder for smaller studios or indie creators to get into.

Please share your thoughts about this and also please follow my twitter. 

#podcasts #welcome to night vale #the penumbra podcast #wolf 359 #alice isn't dead #the mcelroys #the adventure zone #lgbt #joseph fink #jeffrey cranor #representation #my meta #meta #essay

[dilfbatman]

Hey!:) Do you have any hc for eros!Percy?

I LOVE EROS!PERCY

—

- okay so i personally love the og myth of eros being a primordial god rather than the son of aphrodite & mars so that’s what i’m gonna do and NO hoo eros bc that was not it....... idk what rr did there for real but anyways

- percy as a son of eros would essentially be my lifeline due to the fact that he is insanely beautiful while being very competent in combat while having high intelligence & extreme power bc being the son of a primordial god is PEAK

- at camp he used to be in the hermes cabin but everyone was confused bc come on...... he BELONGS in the aphrodite cabin but there’s something different about him - almost otherworldly & somewhat ancient but then you see him wearing bright blue crocs and jorts and you’re like no. this king is from the Modern Era (say that how justin mcelroy would say it)

- but then ofc the whole war against titans happens and he gets officially claimed by eros and everything kinda falls into place - and as a child of eros here’s some of his powers:

- he can radiate beauty and stop his enemies from fighting him even while he charges them head on (yes that’s real it’s michael kahale’s power)

- he has amokinesis meaning he can control emotions of love & desire but he never uses it bc he doesn’t wanna make someone be w someone they don’t wanna be w

- however something a son of eros CAN do is manipulate effortlessly - using your beauty and your intellect to gain information? sneak around and get let off because you use your powers & leave everyone in a cloudy haze? yeah that’s iconic and he DOES do that during fights & in his day to day when someone is being a dick to him or his friends

- i imagine a black widow type-esque vibe but better knddjdn like super beautiful but insanely powerful & intelligent! my brown king can do scissor kicks and choke bad guys out w his thighs and he’s valid and i will support him

- he has mastered the skill of archery and often trains w the sons of apollo (a hunter group similar to the hunters of artemis) & he joins their group and gets through the ranks to have a more higher/powerful position

- now i love the idea of percy being someone people can go to when they need help - he helps people w their family/friend issues, he helps people find self love, he gives relationship advice & friendship advice - he’s just someone everyone trusts & admires! and it helps to look at a pretty face hehe

- one time on valentine’s day he wore a white shirt w the word “LOVER” printed in red with red rimmed heart shaped sun glasses and blue jeans w heart patterned white vans while he’s sucking on a strawberry flavored heart shaped lollipop and a huge smile/smirk on his face and you know what - he absolutely KILLED it! he gives everyone roses and compliments and this is an excuse for him & the camp to eat a plethora of candy <3 it’s a day where he can enjoy being a son of eros while making EVERYONE’S day brighter :’)

#eros!percy rights! he’s handsome <3 #pjo #percy jackson #asks #eros!percy #percy jackson headcanons #hope you enjoy friend!

[fishoutofcamelot]

(for the ask thing) any book/tv show/movie/song recommendations?

BRO! I heckin got you man! Now, I’m gonna skip the song and book recommendation bit because that sorta thing isn’t really my scene. BUT! In terms of TV? My rec list is like a mile long. I’m gonna include a read-more line, actually. 

BBC Merlin: You know I had to put this on the list. But the fact that you’re on my blog means you’ve probably watched this one, so I won’t go into detail about it. Available on Netflix

Mob Psycho 100: Just a cute, sweet story about a bunch of psychic kids trying to kill each other. A story with this much fighting has no right to be so wholesome. Mob is just a good boy, he doesn’t deserve all this! Fair warning, its messages about identity, self love, and growth WILL make you feel Emotions. Available on various anime pirating websites

Red vs Blue: The found family game is SO strong in this one. By far the best found family plot/dynamic I have ever and will ever experience. The characters are all so solid, yknow? Like it took me three rewatches to understand the plot, but I didn’t even care because I loved the characters SO MUCH. It’s also really, really funny (although some of the jokes have aged a bit poorly tbh). Basically about a bunch of space marines who goof off and accidentally dismantle corrupt governments along the way. Available on Youtube

Supernatural: Is it cringey? Yeah. Does the fandom suck? Also yeah. Is Destiel overrated? BIG yeah. But it’s got monsters, magic, family, and a plot that doesn’t revolve around romance - and really, what more could you ask for? And sure, a lot of people don’t really like the later seasons, but idk I actually prefer them. Season 15 has me THRIVING. I mean come on - character vs author?! Fighting the guy who literally wrote you into existence because he doesn’t want to give your story a happy ending?! Say what you will about Supernatural, but it’s one of the most imaginative shows I’ve ever seen. Available on Netflix

Avatar the Last Airbender: You like stellar animation, intricate worldbuilding/magicbuilding, and a perspective on war that is surprisingly mature for a kids show? Check it out. This show is without a doubt one of the best animated series of all time. Go on. Watch it. It’ll change your life. Available on Netflix

The Umbrella Academy: Time-travelling assassins. Superheroes. Ghosts. Talking monkeys. Murder mysteries. Baller soundtracks. This show will never give you what you expect. I don’t even think I could properly describe it to you. Available on Netflix

Detective Conan: An anime. It’s about a teen detective - think Nancy Drew but bloodier - who witnesses a crime and is fed an experimental poison in order to keep him from telling anyone. But instead of killing him, the poison turns him into a 6-year-old. So now he’s got to solve crimes and take down a criminal organization while in the body of a child. Naturally, shenanigans ensue. Fair warning, the main character becomes a bit of a Mary Sue in later episodes, but the first 300 or so are pretty fun. A few episodes are available on Netflix, but not any of the good ones. You’ll need an anime pirating website for that

Knives Out: My favourite movie ever, of all time. It’s a murder mystery that both subverts and pays homage to its parent genre in all the right places. It’s funny, it’s intelligent, and has a spectacular ending! Although I do wish the fandom would stop being so horny for Ransom, I mean he’s literally racist...No clue where you can find this tbh, I saw it in theatres

Derry Girls: Now I’m not normally a big fan of realistic fiction/sitcom stuff. Despite how funny they are, I’ve not even watched The Office or Parks and Rec because that normal daily life stuff just doesn’t peak my interest. And yet, somehow this story about a group of Irish high schoolers just has me enthralled. Very funny, very well-written, give it a watch. Available on Netflix

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood: Another anime. Phenomenal animation? Check. Fascinating plot and characters? Check. Detailed magic system that gets my lore-obsessed heart fluttering? Big heckin check. So basically two kids try to use Fantasy Science to bring their mom back to life, only the experiment fails and has some pretty nasty consequences - one boy loses his arm and leg, while the other loses his entire body and has his soul bound to a suit of armour. Now they gotta go through government conspiracies, ethical dilemmas, and Daddy Issues to try and get their bodies back. Available on Netflix

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: Yet another anime. I know, I know, I’m a nerd, get over it. This show doesn’t have a complex plot or even complex characters, tbh, but what it does have is some amazing humour. It’s extremely funny, and it’s also just a nice show to kick back and relax to. Basically this guy who’s so op that he could rewrite the laws of reality on a whim is stuck dealing with relationship drama in high school despite being very, very asexual and very, very tired. Mostly he just uses his powers to avoid people and eat junk food, which is honestly a mood. Available on Netflix

Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated: Honestly I’d recommend almost anything that’s Scooby Doo-related because that was my childhood obsession. I used to have like 20 of the movies on DVD before my mom gave them all away. To this day I still love Scooby Doo, and watch it whenever I get the chance. But if you ask any SD fan, they’ll probably tell you that Mystery Incorporated is the best, most intelligent, most creative installment in the franchise. And they’re right (although I do wish there was less relationship drama...) Available on Netflix

Evil Genius: This is a documentary series about the Collar Bomb Robbery. Now, despite what the above list might indicate, I actually watch a LOT of documentaries, and if I were here to recommend all of them then we would be here all day. Not really ‘funny’ like the other entries on this list, it’s actually rather tragic, but definitely a cerebral viewing experience. Available on Netflix

Screwball: Now this is a documentary that IS funny. It’s about drug scandals in baseball. But the dramatic scene re-enactments are done with child actors that are all wearing fake beards and pretending to be drug dealers. It’s not only a fascinating subject, but it’s got amazing editing and visuals that have me in awe. Available on Netflix

Behind the Curve: Yet another documentary. This one’s about the rise of the Flat Earth movement. You’ll spend most of the time on the verge of having a stroke because of how stupid it all is. Available on Netflix

The Movies That Made Us: Okay okay okay last documentary on the list I swear. This one’s exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a series talking about the behind-the-scenes production of iconic movies like Home Alone and Ghostbusters. I eagerly await the second season. Available on Netflix

Monster Factory: If you’re familiar with the McElroy brothers and their brand of humour, you’ll love this. Griffin and Justin team up to make the most disturbing avatars they can create using video game character creators. The origins of the Final Pam meme. If I had a shirt with a quote from Monster Factory on it, I’d die a happy man. Available on Youtube

Baman Piderman: The dumbest show I have ever watched, but it’s so adorable and stupid and I love it so much. It doesn’t really have a plot, but later episodes allude to the presence of one and I’m upset because there are so many mysteries/questions hinted at and we’ll never get answers because it’s been abandoned. PLEASE watch it. Available on Youtube

Stranger Things: Okay, season 2 was a bit of a let-down imo, but season 1 was ICONIC and the Scoops Troop subplot in season 3 deserved its own freakin spinoff. I’m not joking. I didn’t even like s3 all that much, but the only reason it’s my favourite is because the Scoops Troop plot was so great. People call this show ‘horror’ but I don’t think it’s scary enough for that, although it is admittedly kinda spooky. If you like 80s nostalgia and the horror aesthetic, then I’d give it a watch (Do it for Scoops Troop. Do it for Robin). Available on Netflix

Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart: Despite my overwhelming love for this film, I’ll be the first to admit it’s kinda mediocre. The plot is weird and the romance feels forced, but despite its flaws it manages to be one of my favourite movies. Mostly I just like it for the unique concept and beautiful ending. Also the music is off the par man. Probably because the writer/producer of the movie was the lead singer for a French band called Dionysus (what? I do my research). Available on Netflix

Wakfu: I haven’t seen past season 3, but so far it’s pretty good. You go in thinking it’s just a wholesome action/adventure show about a kid who can create portals - but then it just. Sucks you in. From its bopping theme song to its fantastic found family to the unique worldbuilding, you very quickly fall in love with it. It’s got a cool plot and also talking dragons, and it doesn’t get better than that. Available on Netflix

Mystery Skulls Animated: Technically not a TV show so much as it is a series of animated music videos with a plot, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t one of the greatest things of all time. It’s basically Scooby Doo but if Shaggy got possessed by a demon and killed Fred, causing Fred to become a ghost hellbent on revenge-killing Shaggy in return. And if Scooby was an ancient Japanese spirit that bit off Shaggy’s arm, forcing him to wear a metal prosthetic. Yeah, MSA is wild. It’s only got three videos out so far, with a fourth one coming out this October, but there’s already so much lore! Available on Youtube

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared: Ah yes, yet another cringey entry on this list. But you know what? Cringe culture is dead!!! And despite its fandom being...like that...DHMIS really is a cool show. Think if Sesame Street was like haunted or something. The episodes about creativity and telling time remain the most unsettling, imo. Definitely worth a watch. Available on Youtube

Inanimate Insanity: Oh boy. Am I seriously recommending you dip your little fingies into the object fandom? Yes. Yes I am. This show is so obscure it makes freakin Detective Conan look popular. At its core it’s a parody of Total Drama Island and Survivor but with anthropomorphized inanimate objects as characters (hence the name). Season 2 is actually really, really good and surprisingly competent. You just gotta get through season 1 first. Available on Youtube

The X-Files: Wow, a live action series on this list? Who woulda thought??? But seriously, this show is really fun. Memes and jokes aside, I love it. Scully and Mulder are fun characters with great chemistry (both platonic and romantic), the Lone Horsemen are hilarious, and every episode is a unique adventure into the most creative acid trips the human mind could conceive of. Phenomenal from start to finish (if you ignore the last season). I have no clue where you would watch this. Pirate it, probably

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Two idiots investigate cold cases and haunted locales while being utter dumbasses about it. You know the “hey demons it’s be ya boi” meme? That came from these guys. Available on Youtube

Kingdom: Ngl, I didn’t go into this expecting zombies. Or for it to take place during Korean feudalism, for that matter. But mediocre dubbing aside, this show has such a clever concept. It takes the zombie apocalypse genre and gives refreshing, unique twists to old tropes that they feel like something new. Seo-bi is my wife and she deserves all the love and appreciation in the world, and those are just Facts. Available on Netflix

My Hero Academia: Superhero high school anime. I personally am not a fan of later episodes/arcs, but the first three seasons are pretty dang good. Diverse, colourful ensemble cast that you easily grow to adore, interesting commentary on disability (although I’m not qualified to give any actual takes on that), and a school curriculum that makes me very, very concerned for the wellbeing of these children. Plus all the superpowers - aka ‘quirks’ - are super imaginative and, well, quirky! I just wish people would stop shipping the main character with his childhood bully...You’ll need to pirate this one too lmao

Danny Phantom: The highlight of this show is its ‘phandom’, because unlike someone (*cough* Butch Hartman), we’re not a bunch of cowards. It’s about a guy who messes around with his parents’ lab stuff and accidentally acquires the ability to die! Well, half-die. He can turn into a ghost and fight other ghosts. Although the show never explores the existential, traumatic fallout of being kinda-sorta-dead, the potential for something deep and emotional is there. Plus there is a LOT of accidental subtext for a Big LGBT+ Metaphor. So much so that the Trans Danny theory is basically canon. Uhhh not available on Netflix anymore so it’s time to whip out your pirate hat, matey

And there you have it! Like I said, I have a lot of TV recommendations. And I just KNOW I’m forgetting a ton, but this is already really long so we’ll have to cut off here. 

Thanks for the ask! <3

#ask #fish post

[nochiquinn]

critical role one shot: [loads gun] wedding’s haunted

look I realize this was pre-recorded but PLEASE don't run until bumfuck o'clock, last time was actual hell

(most of that is bc my bf went to the er the next morning BUT STILL)

oh thank god Sam is dressed like a person

travis on the other hand

I always love seeing the old intro.

will I ever not have a sudden pang in my heart at the sound of gilmore's name? no.

children

they're gonna show up for the free food

everybody trying to get back into character

DEREK

travis

I have a very specific West Wing analogy for this situation

(mark hamon's character and cj wanting to date but they can't until he finishes secret securitying her and he dies four hours 'til retirement)

liam: he immediately makes everyone gay

"is this gonna be a running gag?" "probably"

sam taking a solid ten seconds to curse the universe making him play two characters

NO ONE TOLD YOU TO DITCH SCANLAN, SAMUEL

matt is doing paper scribbles foley

DOUCHEEEE

this is stress relief for everyone who went through a wedding

keyleth left her security cape at home

osh kosh zaynakosh

bestmanzilla?

beachy shores

oh good. cool. cool cool cool. good. I needed that.

"I'm the weirDEST CHOICE"

all of this is absolutely reinforcing my decision for any ceremony I partake in to be in the backyard with six people present. I will be wearing jeans.

matthew

pike's jacket thing is what ashley wore on talks. I recognize that fabric.

"fun"

I missed him

"this is the most clothes I've ever worn in my life!" you know he's right

FLOWER GROG

derek's normalcy is throwing me off. what's wrong with him.

oh there it goes. thanks liam.

kimallura!

oh man do they have ocean ptsd. I would.

that's a callback

grog

"deep cut"

scanlan

all I can hear is justin mcelroy "I love our kids. I love that there are two of them. it's a prime number."

liam stop making sam sing on everything

pike

"this is the top and you have to pour it to that"

what's funny is as she's threatening his kneecap

"it smells like food"

secondhand embarassment maximum overload

marisha have you been writing a speech on your phone this whole time

BUT ARE THEY GONNA NEED THEM

IT WAS ALL POISONED

the adventures of grog and derek!!

"I'll take bribes at the break"

oh god GOATs has invaded d&d

somebody go checK ON THE BABY

ohh derIG

that sounds like derek with a head cold

SOMEONE CHECK ON THE BABY

did sam just accidentally nott

"pump a shitton of her lay hands into her" yeah she does

DOUBLE TWENTY TRINKET

CRIT BEAR

CHECK ON THE BABY

well you can't say they didn't know who they were dealing with

CALLED IT

I CALLED IT WHEN THEY SAID VAMPIRES

now kiss

everybody immediately worrying about cassandra

NATURAL HEADBUTT

quick turn into goldfish

"make a strength check" "that's a terrible check"

"DON'T YOU TWEET FROM MY PHONE"

looking forward to the art of percy screaming from the water

HEY

HEY MATT

how many people does keyleth have to snatch out of the ocean

"SHOVE THE DIAMONDS UP HER ASS"

EMBIGGEN

travis your fjord is showing

NO

WISE AS FUCK

improvised weapon!

THAT'S MY GIRL

"bridezilla"

"I'll allow it because it's cool as shit"

this is funny bc that was my friend's first dance at her wedding

things I've just realized bc I've had the window half-sized this whole time:

taliesin is wearing the raven skull necklace

also taliesin's hair is amazing

I want marisha's tiara thing

percy went full anime

please please please let vex fry sylas with a radiant arrow

IT'S A SPIRIT BOMB AND YOU'RE GONNA EAT IT

the one time she remembers

YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS

"pointy-faced piece of SHIT"

lbr were they ever going to get married any way other than blood-stained

ashley

fucking weh

grog <3

scaNLAN

roll for vows

weddings make me cry bc due to the nature of my relationship I'm unlikely to ever have a thing like this but it's fine I'm fine

sam

samuel

if I didn't know there's no way matt would be a bitch about this, I would be very worried

"talk to her, idiot"

say one word to keyleth or I will come through this screen

LOOK at her at least

nevermind I take it back. too sad too sad abort abort

wait what did sam roll. what's a 17.

you would not believe your eyes

#critical role #spoilers #liveblog #reaction post #crititag

[daughterofsarenrae]

spell out your url in song titles and tag 10 people! I was tagged by @the-ipre

Dirty Paws // Of Monsters and Men As It Was // Hozier Usher, Part 3 // Ghost Quartet The Grass Begins to Eat Itself // Jealous of the Birds Her Name Reverberates Through the Hollow Heart of the World // Griffin McElroy Thumbnail // Louie Zong Extrasolar // Baths Run For Your Life // K.Flay On the Nature of Daylight // Max Richter Facing West // The Staves Shankill Butchers // Sarah Jarosz Aha! // Imogen Heap Relic // Beats Antique Ecstasy (Instrumental Edit) // Crooked Still Necromancin Dancin // Bear Ghost Ribs // The Crane Wives AGT // Mountain Man Elle me dit // MIKA

I’m tagging @tatooiines, @ohsweetflips, @johannsviolin, @febo-asoma, @maternal-space-person, @daydreamweavercat, @monkbeauregard, @nerdsbianhokie, @gioxander, and @floydofwar

#bel speaks #my username was FAR too long for this #also i made myself only use an artist once shich made this difficult #i could do a substantial amount of my username with just omam and hozier lmao #thanks for the tag! #also lmao this list is ALL over the place #consistent taste in music? i don't know her

[mclunarlove]

1. Top 3 favorite songs at the moment?

Drew Barrymore by Bryce Vine , Prom Dress by mxmtoon, Prom Queen by Beach Bunny and Breathe by Catie Turner. I couldn’t keep it to three.

2. What are you wearing right now?

A small shirt that says Nice with a bee, gym shorts, and orange nike slides

3. Favorite season?

Summer. I’ve been thinking on my a mini comic about why so ppl stop hating on this beautiful season, summmer.

4. Left handed or right handed?

Right handed, my dude

5. Favorite thing you like about yourself?

I really like my hair. I’ve recently dyed it pink.

6. Favorite TV show at the moment?

I’ve been going through a lot of different ones. The good place is well a good one. But recently I’ve when back and watched Danny Phantom. It’s really funny because it only a couple years old but seeing them talk about the internet and phones is hilarious.

7. What are some of your pet peeves?

People being assholes

8. Favorite and least favorite subjects in school?

I love art and don’t love math

9. Plans for the future?

Finally get my driver’s liscense, get a new job, get money, and do art. Also do well in college.

10. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

I really want to go to Tokyo. It just seems really cool.

11. What celebrity do you look up to?

The McElroy family counts as a whole unit.

12. Who/what makes you smile regardless?

Stupid vines or videos. And recently Bakugo from My Hero Academia. What a sweet and spicy boy.

13. Favorite song lyrics?

Currently any lyric from the song Prom Queen by Beach Bunny but I do really like “Maybe I should try harder. You should lower your beauty standards”

14. Favorite movie?

Big hero 6 has like a throne on the list of movies I love

15. What is the worst thing someone could do to you?

I’ll pass.

16. What pets do you have/want to have?

I have a very handsome cat named Beerus and I would love to have a Buffalo.

17. Describe your day today?

Not the best but not the worst.

18. Night owl or morning bird?

Sadly, a night owl. I do admire morning birds greatly tho.

19. Favorite musical artist?

Don’t really have a favorite. But I do like the NBHD, Carly

Rea Jepson, and

20. How old are you?

18 yrs old

21. Where are you from?

Pass

22. What are a few things on your bucket list?

Own a party bus, car surf, get swole, finally nail the Hawaiian summertime dad aesthetic and etc.

23. Do you have/want any tattoos?

I want a couple of small ones. Like a cute bubbly heart, a landscape, and I really want the digimon crests.

24. Do you have/want any piercings?

I would love a lot of piercing on my ears.

25. What do you hate most about yourself?

Pass. I’m trying to love myself. Can’t do this.

26. What does your last text message say?

“ Perish”

27. What would you name your future daughter/son?

I always really like the names Joy and Willis.

28. What are you listening to right now?

“My brother, My brother, and Me” a podcast by the McElroy Brothers.

29. What is the last book you read?

Good Omens......but I still haven’t finished it.

30. Favorite food?

I really like lasagna. And a bunch of different foods but I rarely eat lasagna.

31. Cats or dogs?

Both r very good.

32. Introverted or extroverted?

Introvert, my dude

33. When and why did you first join tumblr?

I first joined in 2014 because I was really into Big Hero 6 even before it came out and this was the only place that was talking about bh6 before it came out. There was like a whole pre-fandom and everything 😂😂

34. Celebrity OTP?

Idk don’t really ship ppl but I do love Ryan and Blake

35. Tv show OTP?

Man, ok now this is a fucking list but the first one that popped into my head is Tododeku.

36. What is your zodiac sign?

Aquarius

37. Lucky number?

7 like a basic bitch

38. Gender?

That a tough one. I don’t know how I feel about gender; especially mine. I will be hella chill with any pronoun but most of the time I identify as a female.

39. What’s the last thing you watched on Netflix?

The good place

40. When is your birthday?

January

41. Where are you from?

Imma be broad so America.

42. If you could, what celebrity would you want to meet?

Adam Sandler

43. Last concert you went to?

Never been to one.

44. What do you think of me/my tumblr account?

Don’t know you but thanks for the question. I’m sure your a cool guy and down for a cool hang.

45. Favorite holiday?

Easter

46. Favorite animal?

Bisons and Buffalos

47. TV you love that’s underrated?

Does digimon count? Ppl usually dunk on me because of Pokémon. I like them both but I GREW up on that digirap

48. What’s your relationship status?

Single. Yup. Surprising no one.

49. What do you want to be/do when you grow up?

Anything to do with media and art at this point.

50. What would you do if you won the lottery?

Pay for college

51. ASK ME ANYTHING YOU WANT

I’m good but hella thanks for making theses questions @stranger-reviews This was actually really fun. I know I answered a lot of them really short but I didn’t want this to be hella long.

#honestly that was hella fun. and I don’t know why ppl just dont go ahead and answer all of them #personal questions #king talks #and answers questions 😂😂

[darkouter]

ok but bouncing off the tags here, i have a lot of feelings about barty getting to be a geeky art school kid in a non-magic verse or something, and i’ve been thinkin abt it a lot.  like i just.  love the idea of him being able to be kooky.  consider:

i.  moving for art school, getting that independence, and being around other people who are very open to experiences like him??  he gets to be carefree and away from his dad or anyone that would be judgmental.....  an expressive and chill environment would be so good for him oh my god?  lessen his anxiety?  let him find himself?

ii.  getting to just be unapologetically weird.  dye his hair wacky colors.  make experimental art.  wear weird clothes.  design his own tattoo !!!!  piercings!  he deserves to be part of emo fashion, frankly.  overall lookin like a regular old rotisserie shithead, eat your heart out griffin mcelroy.  he would be going ham right now for pride month!!!  

iii.  starting a noise band................  i headcanon he has a singing voice like john congleton’s (click!), kind of in extremes?  nasally and high but uses vocal fry frequently too.  screamy.  very raw and unpolished lmao.

iv.  just a reminder that his art style was very david lynch during the imperius curse, and i imagine that in a non-magic verse and being able to attend art school and experience weird abstract styles, his art style would probably head in that direction naturally.......  like look at this !!

anyways this post is literally me just hannibal buressing at barty

#| OOC: HEY GHOULS! #| HC: BARTEMIUS CROUCH JR. #he would have a tumblr.......... #anyways he loves tonks' fashion sense and i imagine they would pester the hell out of him to get him to be punk rock #mainverse barty will probably never be fully realized as the extreme alternative kid he should be but tonks and cecil can influence him #cecil reintroducing him to muggle music....... listenin to bauhaus and modest mouse and junk

[wormy-business]

Music’s End

MAJOR spoilers for the end of the campaign.

Avi didn't want to believe that Johann is gone, but there's no changing any of that. He isn't going to let anyone forget who he was, even if he can hardly keep himself from taking his own life. - Avi struggles after Johann's death and gets some much needed support from his dear friends, one of whom understands the pain he's going through.

Read on A03

Word count: 1,636

I know it’s a little rushed and a it rough around the edges but I had a time writing this lol. It took me longer than usual cause I just kept crying.

@ griffin mcelroy turn on your location I wanna talk about what happened to Johann, I just wanna talk

A smile drew itself across Avi’s face, white light blinding him for a moment as it washed over the whole of the world. His arm was up over his eyes, wind whipping through his hair as divinity spread across the world. And then, roars of cheering. He rubbed his eyes and looked out over the edge of the moonbase, at the light that returned to the world and the ash being whipped up in the wind like sand. It was done, it was over and they had won.

The first thing he did was hug Magnus. “We did it, you did it! Johann was right! Oh, oh man I have to go kiss him!” He saw the look on Magnus’s face drop.

“You, oh, oh no, Avi. . .”

In the year he had known Magnus, he had never seen him look like this, and that struck fear into his entire being and he stepped back. “What? Where’s Johann?” Magnus turned his eyes away. “Magnus!” He demanded, pulling on his shirt. “Where’s Johann?!”

The ride to the chamber was silent. Avi was stubborn in his denial, and despite telling Magnus to stay he came anyways. As the doors dinged open, he felt a pit drop in his stomach, and a lump form in his throat. His heart felt heavy as water splashed on his boots as he made his way into the chamber. Broken glass, wet ash, and then there, laying in front of his desk face down in the pool of water, was Johann. He sprinted over and dropped to his knees, water and a small amount of blood soaking into his pants as he turned Johann’s body back onto his back. His hands balled up into fists as tears streaked down his face. He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder, and he screamed. The pained, and heartbroken sound echoed throughout Fisher’s chamber, and it collapsed into a sob as Avi held Johann’s chilled body. Fingers tangled in his wet hair, holding his head close to his heart as another pained scream left his body. He was cursing any god that listened, and every being that took Johann from this world. His screams were soon replaced by the sounds of two people mourning, one more deeply than the other.

It would take months for Avi to recover. He hadn’t even shown up at Johann’s funeral, but every day after that he could be seen standing or sitting by his grave. His fingertips lingered on the headstone, caressing his name engraved into stone. His eyes traveled across the beautifully inscribed epitaph, “Never to be forgotten”. And he was going to make damn sure of that. He worked tirelessly to make sure the world knew exactly who Johann was. He wrote about him very often.

Johann was kind. He had the kind of smile that made your day better, and the kind of frown that made you want to hold him tighter. He forgot to eat most days because he would get caught up in his work, and I frequently had to bring him food. He was always tired because he would stay up so late, and there were many nights I would carry him back to his dorm room. Johann had the most brilliantly green eyes I’ve ever seen, and I would get lost in them each time I looked at him. Johann loved sitting on a hill under a tree watching the clouds and the stars roll by. Johann prefered sleeping in, and was never a morning person unless “morning” was somewhere around 12 pm. He loved coffee with a little milk and around a teaspoon of sugar, I could never make it right. Johann was a half elf, but he could still move his ears like most elves can. Anytime someone complimented his works his ears would turn up, as they were usually drooping a bit. He would also get a sparkle in his eyes, and it would stay there for hours after the fact. But he was always so hard on himself, he was always striving to do better without realising he was already the best anyone ever could be. Johann’s greatest fear was being forgotten, and I swear I will never let his name be lost in history. His name is Johann.

Avi set his quill back into the ink well, and walked over to his bed. He was holding Johann’s hat tightly between his hands, and close to his chest. He could only ever write so much at once before becoming overwhelmed by his own emotions. He took another piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it on his nightstand. He had been holding onto it for quite some time, waiting until the moment felt right. Was it time this time? It would be a little awkward perhaps, but the emptiness in his heart was starting to spread. It pained him, thinking he could have, he should have, done something. He should have walked with Johann that day, he should have been with him, he should have been there to save him.

Leaving the hat behind on the bed, Avi stood slowly, hands gripping a strand of rope tightly in his hands. He stood in the center of his room for a few long minutes as tears rolled off his cheeks and onto the floor. He heard banging on his door, and then it opened. He fell onto his knees as Magnus dropped to his side and tore the rope out of his hands, chucking it across the room.

“Avi!” He started as the man broke down in awful pained sobs. “Avi, look at me.” Magnus said as he turned Avi’s face up. “You’re stronger than that. Johann wouldn’t want-”

“How do you know what Johann would want?!” He snapped, cutting him off and pushing himself away from the larger human as two familiar figures loomed in his doorway. “None of you knew Johann like I did! None of you know what Johann would have wanted!!”

Merle was the first of the two to notice the rope that sit by their feet, and he picked it up in his hands. Flowers began sprouting from it where he had touched it with his soulwood arm, and he cast it aside just as Magnus had seconds earlier. Taako strode over, a shimmering purple cape fluttered behind him an he kneeled down on the floor with Magnus.

“Well then whatever with what Johann would have wanted you to do!” He crossed his arms, and Avi looked up at him. “We want you to stay here. We want you to be strong, and to live the best life you can.”

Magnus turned his eyes from Taako back to Avi. “He’s right. Look, I understand what you’re going through and I-”

“How can you understand? How do you know?” Avi curled in on himself, his body shaking.

“I lost my wife.” Avi looked up when he heard this, seeing Taako and Merle both looking away from Magnus as he spoke. “She was murdered, and I can’t remember who took her from me and that’s awful. Every day since she’s passed I’ve wanted to hunt down whoever took her from me and kill them with my bare hands. And every day since she’s passed, I’ve had the thought that I should take myself away, to be with her in the astral plane. But I look deeper inside and I know Julia would never want me to harm myself, because if I took myself away I’d be taking myself away from even more people that care about me. People like Merle and Taako, and Carey, and Killian, and Lucretia, and Davenport, and Lup, and Barry, and Angus, and, well, and everyone.” Avi pulled himself back onto his bed, taking Johann’s hat once more in his hands, not watching as Magnus and Taako both rose to their feet. “I made you something, that I hope can remind you of that.” A small picture frame was placed on Avi’s lap, and he took it gingerly in his hands. The frame was rosewood, and was beautifully crafted, the glass panel was perfectly clear with no damage or smudges to the surface, and the picture it held inside was one that shook him to his core. He had never seen this picture of Johann before. Johann was, smiling. He had his violin in one hand, and was making a peace sign with the other that had his Bureau of Balance bracer on it. He looked so happy. So happy and so, alive. He pressed the framed picture close to his chest, and Magnus retrieved something from his own pocket. “I made one a long time ago.” He turned the frame so Avi could see the picture of a woman with frizzy dark hair smiling back at the camera. “So that whenever I thought about taking myself out of this world, I would have her near me to remind me that there are things in this world worth living for. And to be honest, you have a lot going here.” Magnus was referencing the sheet of paper with ink still slightly wet. “It’s going to take a long time to recover, buddy. But let him remind you that there are better things coming. In fact, I have one for you now.” Magnus whistled, and a dog with a yellowish white coat walked into the room, and immediately put her head in Avi’s lap.

“Her name is Soprano.” Taako told him as he leaned on his new staff.

“She’s for you.” Merle chimed in.

“I knew you needed help, and sometimes people can’t always be there for you.”

Avi hugged the labrador, tightly, and she placed a paw on his back.

“Lucretia agreed that one dog is allowed on the moon from now on.”

#johavi #the adventure zone #taz balance #taz johann #taz avi

[lovebunnie]

Do all the asks coward

1. what does your wallet look like?

-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:

2. favorite color?

- baby pinnk

3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?

-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.

4. describe your favorite outfit

-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]

5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?

-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))

6. do you use nail polish?

-i do, i mostly do black tho

7. do you keep organized?

-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN

8. ever take naps?

-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later

9. who was your first crush?

-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.

10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?

-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk

11. describe your ideal day

-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)

12. describe your ideal date

-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!

13. whats your favorite food?

-either sushi or strawberries :3c

14. who do you feel most comfortable around?

-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble

15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?

-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry

16. did you/do you like highschool?

-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing

17. favorite animal?

-i think its cats now. i really like cats

18. do you like your name?

-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk

19. what kind of weather is your favorite?

-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure

20. do you believe in horoscopes?

-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them

21. tell us about your music taste

-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will

22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?

-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet

23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?

-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once

24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?

-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me

25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?

-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]

26. do you have any pets?

-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine

27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?

-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway

28. what makes you smile?

-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise

29. what makes you feel heavy?

-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread

30. what makes you feel better?

-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed

31. how do you show your love?

-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening

32. when is it time to get a haircut?

-whenever u want to lol?

33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?

-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city

34. do your friends and family take good care of you?

-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit

35. have you always used the labels you use now?

-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me

36. what makes you laugh?

-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me

37. who is your favorite fictional character?

-too many options, see list here

38. who do yo admire?

-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me

39. describe yourself in three words

-i am baby

40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 

-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes

41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?

-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!

42. what would you do if you win the lottery?

-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water

43. would you call yourself a romantic?

-yes

44. what is your gayest childhood memory?

-my mom had cosmos magazines

45. do you have tattoos or want any?

-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain

46. whats your worst habit?

-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends

47. what are you proud of?

-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))

48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?

-hi i love you?

49. whats your favorite memory?

-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out

50. do you have a sweet tooth?

-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties

51. what do you like most about yourself?

-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes

52. what makes you fall for a girl?

-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it

53. make a recommendation

-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out’ on netflix

54. have you ever had your heart broken?

-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again

55. when do you feel most yourself?

-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit

56. name a gorgeous celeb

-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal 

57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?

-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz

58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears

-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love

-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college

59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?

-raspberry i guess

60. are you okay?

-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.

gobble you test me but i do love you

#g0bbleb0ners #that took 90 minutes #also i got kinda real here.... ://////// #whatever no one reads these things anyway

[rhywhitefang]

It’s the end of the year (Well, not quite, but I’m not gonna get any reading done tomorrow)  - and we all know what that means... Looking back at what you read and evaluating your favorites. And no, I did not contain myself to just 10 - but that’s also because I did read a lot this year. Why are they eleven books for the first two categories? Any excuse to include one more book It looks better on the graphic. Although, before someone asks why the Broken Earth Trilogy isn’t on here - Rereads don’t count and I read those in 2017. For a more detailed look at each of my lists, links to the books, and more of my thoughts, look under the cut. For a list of all of my favorite books look here. 

Now, on to these...

The best new releases of the year

Now, obviously, I did not read every single book that was released this year - duh. This is just a list of the best 2018 releases that I read this year. Ranked, they look like this:

Girl Made of Stars by Ashley Herring Blake. Why I loved this one: It’s a really honest, well-written, gentle, well-done, nuanced, and detailed examination of what rape does not only to a person but also to a community from a perspective I’ve never seen considered before. 

Darius The Great Is Not Okay by Adib Khorram Why I loved this one: Because I love well-done coming of age narratives and this one was excellent. It’s a very quiet, introspective, slow moving book with a softer main male character. I also really appreciated the setting of Teheran. 

The Book of Essie by Meghan Maclean Weir Why I loved this one: Look, it’s one of my very specific favorite tropes of all time (I’m not going to spoil it) that I almost never see, the main character is interesting and strong in a mental way I really enjoy, and it’s a deconstruction of conservative family culture. Yay. 

The Adventure Zone - Here there be Gerblins by Griffin McElroy Why I loved this one: I jumped on the hype train and listened to the podcast - and like, this is a comic adaptation of the first arc? Which is so much fun?

The Air You Breathe by Frances de Pontes Peebles Why I loved this one: I loved the main character who was bitter, and passionate, and jealous and lovin, and complicated and determined and stern and regretful. It was great. If you loved Evelyn Hugo, this one should be your next read. 

The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay Why I loved this one: This thriller was very unique in the way that it put its focus on just one family, and the whole rest of the world was not really present. Instead we get a very closed, and isolated narrative where everything but the characters we follow and the relationships they have with each other is called into question.

How Long Til’ Black Future Month? by N. K. Jemisin Why I loved this one: I refuse to comment on claims that I light a candle of my very own N. K. Jemisin shrine every night before I fall asleep. If you haven’t read The Fifth Season - go read them right now. My favorites from this collection include: Valedictorian, The Storyteller’s Replacement, Walking Awake, and Henosis.

Circe by Madeline Miller Why I loved this one: I’m a huge slut for greek myth retellings, if you’re a semi-competent author retelling any greek myth, I’ll eat it up. And Miller is more than just semi-competent.

The Poppy War by R.F Kuang Why I loved this one: Listen, listen, listen - you know how to get me as a reader? Training sequences and school settings. This has 250 pages of training sequences in a school setting. It made me very happy. 

Hurricane Child by Kheryn Callender Why I loved this one: Everyone’s excited for this author’s other book, which is like, a YA romance and to be fair, I haven’t read that one yet, but still - why is this one so underrated? It’s a magical realism coming of age story of a young girl and it’s stellar. 

Inkmistress by Audrey Coulhourst Why I loved this one: I wasn’t the biggest fan of the author’s debut, but this has a lot of things I love - “be careful what you wish for” style blood magic, dark self-fulfilling prophecies, and a female characters journey from hero to villain. Also dragons. 

The best backlist books of the year

Meaning, the best books I read this year that were released in 2017 or before that. Pretty simple, really.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan Why I loved this one: It has been a long time since I was this attached to a group of book characters that quickly. They’re instantly relatable, even if they’re not instantly likeable. And beyond that, the whole book is a wonderfully satirical take on the portal fantasy genre. But seriously, guys, there’s not enough of fanfiction for this book - I’d know it, I read them all.. C’mon, where’s my soulmate AU?

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman Why I loved this one: One of the best YA novels out there and not only one of my favorite’s of this year, but also one of my favorite books of all time. Alice Oseman understands the teen coming of age story on a spiritual level, and manages to be so wonderfully affirming in this one.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid Why I loved this one: Listen to the hype, everyone, listen to the hype. Evelyn Hugo is an amazing character and I’d 100% believe you if you told me she was a real person. PLUS, this one also has the trope. The one I talked about with the Book of Essie. 

Strong Female Protagonist by Molly Ostertag Why I loved this one: Well-done, deconstructionalist superhero narrative are my jam. This webcomic is not that action driven, instead it focuses on the main character identity crisis, and her reconsidering what it means to be a hero and what her responsibility as a human is.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M Danforth Why I loved this one: Do you think the owner of this blog might like coming of age narratives? I’m not super sure, like, maybe if she had “I love coming of age narratives” tattooed on her forehead, it would be a little clearer... but like this? It’s a mystery. 

Whichwood by Tahereh Mafi Why I loved this one: No, I did not read the first book in this series, and I don’t think you need to in order to enjoy this. Here, I just really appreciated the friendship aspect of the book and the healing power of reaching out to others and letting them into your heart. Also death magic. That too.

Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds Why I loved this one: I think the slam poetry style this was written in, often novels written in verse don’t work for me because it feels like more distance being put between you and the narrative, but in this case it really elevated the story. And of course, this was a very introspective read with a focus on character development.

One Hundred Nights of Hero by Isabelle Greenberg Why I loved this one: The artwork here is just gorgeous, just like in the first one The Encyclopedia of Early Earth. Its beautiful and has a lovely fairytale vibe.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon Why I loved this one: This has a very sharp, very unique voice to it and a protagonist unlike anyone I ever read. And the spaceship setting was really cool as well.

Under the Pendulum Sun by Jeannette Ng Why I loved this one: This is a fae book that gets fucking dark, and truly fucked up as any proper fae book should do. Some parts of it read almost like a trippy nightmare which is just delightful. And the premise itself? Just wild, man

Girl Mans Up by M-E Girard Why I loved this one: Say it with me everyone 📣: Coming 👏 of 👏 Age 👏 Narrative

Honorable Mentions

Yes, I have a whole entire seperate list of honorable mentions. What’s it to you?

A  Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi Why I loved this one: The writing is beautiful and engaging. The protagonist is refreshing, lively, realistic, and I loved her perspective. Her internal journey was wonderfully rendered. The issues she dealt with were important, timely, and needed to be put into the forefront. It had a lyrical, atmospheric quality to it and I thoroughly enjoyed my experienced reading it. Why it didn’t quite make the list: It almost, almost made the list because it was really good. There was just one thing that bothered me. I get that the point of this book was that the protagonist was really isolated in the beginning, but even so... she had a romance with a guy, she had her brother and his friends whom she hung out with. But she didn’t seem to know any other girls... at all. The only other real female character I remember is her mother. And then there’s one interaction with another girl and that girl is a racist bitch. So I didn’t like that portrayal.

Geography Club by Brent Hartinger Why I loved this one: Teenagers finding themselves.... friendship..... clubs.... gay people.... I mean, come on.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: The writing style isn’t the best.

And I Darken by Kiersten White Why I loved this one: This was a great first book in a trilogy with a historical setting I haven’t read about before. It has court intrigue, sultans, assassins and political imprisonments. The main character’s brother, Radu, is one of my favorite characters I read about this year and I liked the way this tackled religion. Why it didn’t quite make the list: Being the first one in a series, this feels more like...a prologue, than anything that could stand on its own.

When I Hit You - A Portrait of the Author as a Young Wife by Meena Kandasamy Why I loved this one: It’s an unflinching look at an abusive marriage, power dynamic, and coping with the more patriarchal aspects of your own culture. It’s also really well written and extremely believable.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: It had an odd framing device, and because the protagonist was a writer, this caused it to be kind of pretentious at times.

Here to Stay by Sara Farizan Why I loved this one: This is a very realistic depiction of high school, and the social dynamics most teenagers for. Teenagers aren’t wise or mature, most of them have a lot of growing to do. And I liked how flawed everyone there was. They just wanted to keep their head down, or they overcompensated for their insecurities, and they dealt with their own issues. I liked how the topics in here were handled. Why it didn’t quite make the list: The plot was a bit too simplistic for me. 

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant Why I loved this one: Killer mermaids! Need I say more? I’ll say it again - killer mermaids! Why it didn’t quite make the list: Despite the title, this isn’t really that deep. Just a fun monster horror.

The Emperor’s Soul by Brandon Sanderson Why I loved this one: The one thing that Sanderson does consistently well is develop magic systems, and I really liked this one. And because this one was so short, there wasn’t some epic (or even cosmic) overarching plot, but a rather clear and relatively small narrative of a specific task that needed to be completed, which I found absolutely fascinating. I think I like this story even more than the Mistborn trilogy. It’s my favorite from him. Why it didn’t quite make the list: Everytime Sanderson writes a female character, you can tell he feels so proud of himself for being such a feminist. 

I Was Born for This by Alice Oseman Why I loved this one: This surprised me. Even though I loved Radio Silence by Oseman and had read that one before, the subject matter of this book didn’t really seem appealing to me, but it was still really fun. I loved the friendship dynamics and the discussions of fame. Why it didn’t quite make the list: I just very much wanted this one to go more in depth and really dive into that character development, and these relationship dynamics. I just wanted a little more of that. 

A History of Glitter and Blood by Hannah Moskowitz Why I loved this one: I loved most things to do with the fae - the dark fae of folklore, mind you, not whatever SJM is doing. Now, these fairies aren’t really traditional, but the setting is definitely dark. Also, there’s an unreliable narrator which I love.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: I was kind of iffy about some of the racial implications with the goblins. 

The Monster Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson Why I loved this one: We stan a ruthless, traitorous accountant. Love that dark character development, bitch.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: While I loved the first one, this one really lacked a clear sense of structure or direction. The pacing was kind of off. 

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan Why I loved this one: I loved the worldbuilding here, and the setting of concubines in a castle, quiety rebelling in themselves. Yay.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: It felt a bit juvenile at some points, some things were rushed, and I would have liked a bit more depth to the characters, especially the love interest.

#favorites 2018 #books #best books of 2018 #best books of the year #bookblr

[dreamy-axolotl]

A Pleasant Insignificant Day

TAZ controls my life but in a minor way. I am influenced by the McElroys no matter how hard I think it’s my own doing. Anyways here’s my boys Taako and Magnus, Merle hopefully will be written in the future but i rolled a crit 1 for his characterization so it might not be the best piece

“Oh hell no.”

“Taako come on.”

“There’s nothing on this planet that could help you, and since I’m on this planet, that’s saying something.”

Magnus sighed, leaning his forehead on the door that stood between him and the stubborn elf he was talking to. He waited a few seconds, then lifted his head with a smile, “Well, you could try to teach me, and I’ll give you credit for it, or if it doesn’t work out, you can do it and then I will give you all the credit for it.” His voice lifted for the last few words, borderline teasing.

The door slowly-inch by inch slowly-opened halfway, then was flung open. Taako stood there, arms crossed and nose pointed up, looking at Magnus smugly, “Well if anyone can teach you how to cook, it’ll be me.”

“Oh thank Istus.” Magnus pushed his way in, shoulder knocking Taako to the side, “Carey and Killian would kill me if they saw what I ate on a regular basis.”

Taako followed him, brushing off his uninjured shoulder, “Which is?”

Magnus turned his head, smiling, “I’m not telling you, either.”

Taako scoffed, and slipped past Magnus to get to the kitchen. It was large, expensive-looking, and not a speck of dust could be seen. If a stranger wandered in, they would think that it had never been used. But Magnus was no stranger, and he knew that the only thing Taako loved more than looking flawless was cooking flawlessly.

The two were in the kitchen for hours. It took them a lot of time arguing over what to make. Taako wanted to make olive oil–confit chicken with cipolline onions, but since Magnus didn’t know what that was, or half the words in there, he argued for something simpler, like steaks with boiled potatoes. After 15 minutes, they decided on chicken escabeche, which Taako would teach Magnus how to make, letting him write it down in the simplest of instructions.

As they were letting it simmer, Taako turned to Magnus, “So how’s life in Magnus-land been while the world hasn’t needed our help?” He leaned back against the counter, smoothing out his skirt with one hand, drumming the counter with the other. Magnus could faintly recognize the tune, but he snapped his eyes back to the elf’s when he remembered the question.

“Oh, you know, raising dogs, keeping in touch with people, making wooden ducks, the usual.” He leaned onto the island in front of him, resting his chin in his hands, “How’ve you been?”

Taako smiled, waving the hand he used on his skirt, “Oh same old, same old. Cooking, helping people out of the kindness of my heart, going out every night. Lot of shit to keep cha’boy busy.”

Magnus chuckled a little and nodded, turning his head to look out the window. He stared out for a little, watching the wind whip through the tree right outside. Taako shifted uncomfortably, pushing off of the counter and checking on the escabeche before walking over to Magnus. Taako tried to come off as someone who didn’t care, but he knew a hundred years together meant that the other knew him better than he let on. It also meant that Taako knew something was up with Magnus. Seeing him face to face was a rare occasion. Carey and Killian knew he couldn’t cook and probably offered to bring something, and Taako hadn’t exactly been the best at keeping in touch. It was a pleasant surprise to see him here, he wasn’t complaining about that. It was just worrisome.

Magnus felt himself being pushed, and to a step to the right to let Taako lean on the counter with him. They stared at each other, faces inches away, in silence. Then Taako batted his eyelashes, and waited for his friend to smile before opening his mouth, “What’s really up, my dude? You’re never this quiet. It’s frankly a little off-putting, and there’s no room for off-putting in this kitchen.” Magnus sighed, standing up straight, but not moving away. Taako straightened too, but couldn’t compare to the human’s height.

“I’ve been a little lonely.”

“Come again, Mr. Social?” Taako’s voice dripped sarcasm, but he felt a pang in his heart.

Magnus smiled sadly, “I’ve been talking to everyone, but tonight’s gonna be the first time I’ve seen my friends face to face in awhile. Today’s the first time I’ve seen you in… months?” Magnus shrugged, but he wasn’t looking at Taako anymore, “It’s been a little rough on my own. I keep thinking that we’ll always have our bonds from the time we’ve spent together, but now that we’re not about to die at any moment, I feel alone. And it sucks.”

His shoulders sagged, and Taako felt a wave of sadness wash over him. He used Mage Hand to turn off the stove, and wrapped his arms around the bigger man. Magnus immediately returned the hug, but was caught off guard by such a strong show of affection. Getting a hug out of Taako wasn’t easy. He almost felt bad for dumping this on him. Taako pulled back, and wiped his eyes free of anything that might resemble liquid, “I’m sorry I’m not there more.”

“Oh no, it’s fine! It’s really not just you. I’m not reaching out or visiting, and there were seven of us on the Starblaster, and now we have more friends, and it’s really dumb to-” he’s silenced by another hug, this one shorter than the other. Taako propped himself up on his tippy-toes and kissed Magnus’ cheek. Then he turned and headed for the pan on the stove-top.

“You really shouldn’t blame yourself, you know. We’re all a little selfish, and honestly, you’re the only one out of all of us who can share your fucking thoughts, so kudos to you.” he stirred the contents of the pan, then started to remove the cinnamon and clove, “We should do this more often. I’ll teach you how to cook basic things. You can stop eating fantasy ramen and feeding the leftovers to your dogs, and I can sleep at night knowing I spared another life from death by sodium.”

Magnus laughed, deep and bellowing. The elf felt his heart soar. He set the pan on the back burner and turned to his friend, brandishing the spatula like a wand, “But you have to know that if you start feeling lonely and you don’t break into Merle’s house at 2am to have a karaoke party, but instead wallow in your misery, I’m coming after you and magic missiling your ass.” He watched Magnus bend over in laughter, proud of what he did, and added, “Or I’ll send Lup. She’s not as forgiving.”

This time Magnus straightened up, a grin on his face, “You got it.” He checked the time, then turned back to Taako, “I might need to use your dish. I’m gonna have to book it to make it back in time.”

Taako waved his hand nonchalantly, pouring the pan into a tupperware dish that was magicked to permanently warm things, and tossed it to Magnus, “I’m not dating the grim reaper for nothing. I’ll have him portal you home.”

He placed the pan and the spatula in the sink, and pulled his stone of far speech out of his pocket, “Just remember that presentation is everything, and I get all the credit.”

His friend grinned, giving him a thumbs up, “All yours, bud. Same time next week?”

“Oh honey, if you think I’m letting you go malnutritioned for a week, you’re sadly mistaken.”

#taz #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance #taz balance #magnus burnsides #taako