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bits-and-babs · 10 months

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can u do a konig with kink in primal play ? we need him being a big wolf !

𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐊𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐍 – 𝐊𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐆

synopsis : a big bad wolf chases you down in the woods, desperate for a taste of you.

pairing: könig x redridinghood!reader

warnings : 18+ mdni. pre-agreed scenario, meaning consensual non-consent. hunter x prey, roleplay, degradation, oral (f receiving), p in v sex.

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Each thundering footstep of your shoes snaps twigs beneath the weight of your body, the splintering bark sounding off like canon fire as you sprint down the forest path. Distressed heaves of your chest ignored your desperate attempts to quieten your heavy breathing, palm clamped over your mouth doing little to smother the shuddering exhales.

Your wicker basket lays discarded on the path behind you, freshly picked berries oozing blood-red juice onto the pebbled trail. The petrifying viridescent eyes you'd noticed in the tree-line burn into your back as you flee. The cottage is just up ahead– you could reach it.

He's behind you. It's silent amongst the Austrian treeline, birds halting their song as he stealthily moves through the blanket of bushes and tree canopy.

Stumbling over the nettles that prickled the skin of your ankles, you desperately attempt to conceal yourself from the incoming threat. You hurl your back against a tree trunk, hearing the pathetic whimper that slipped past your lips when the splintering bark sank into your shoulders. Sharp pain stings at your flesh as you crouch low to the ground.

Muzzling your lips with both palms, you all but suffocate yourself while trying to conceal the small, fearful noises you made. Each beat of a crow's wing and falling leaf caused a jolt of fear to fragment through your nervous system, eyes scanning the treeline uneasily.

"You must have a good hiding spot, Rotkäppchen," a lilting accent cut through the quiet forest, causing you to squeeze your eyes tight in terror. Every muscle in your body pulls taut, and your skin goose-pimples as though he'd doused you in ice-cold water.

Blindly grasping at the fabric that dangled from your shoulders, you wrap the crimson material of your cape around your body in a final, wretched attempt to hide from the predatory gaze of his bottle-green eyes.

"I will find you. When I do..." his playful tone dissipates in a moment's silence, hesitating before delivering his threat. "I'll swallow you whole."

Your knuckles blanch with how tightly you grasped the hem of your little red cape, muscles straining under the immense pressure you applied to the soft, malleable fabric.

"They say that fear makes you taste sweeter," the lurking danger continues his twisted lecture as you breathe carefully through your terror. In for five, out for five— "All the pumping blood in your veins- makes you taste like honey, so I hear."

The twisted comments flip your stomach, bile threatening to launch up your oesophagus.

"Never have I craved something as badly as you," the pitchiness in his voice makes your hair stand on end, undeniably earnest in his admission. "And I feel that I have—…."

A soft, tracing touch circles your ankles like ivy before quickly locking around the bone in a vice-like grip. Dread chills the lining of your stomach, and blood pools beneath your skin. You stand no chance.

"Got you."

You let out a shriek, kicking your feet out at your attacker as you try to escape his impossibly tight grasp. Dark, gleeful chuckles raise goosebumps across your skin and prickle the hair at the base of your neck as König drags you towards him. The bottomless black pits of his pupils swallow his verdant irises as they sweep the length of your body beneath the hood he wore.

"Meine Rotkäppchen," König coos, his mammoth palm resting over your lips to stifle the sobs of fear wracking your chest. The wolfish grin that spreads across his lips when he hears your trembling breaths causes your pulse to surge, adrenaline kicking your basic bodily functions into overdrive. "Hush, sweet thing. Just a taste, that's all I ask."

Manipulating your body at will, König forces you into place by pushing his knee into your hip. It hurts, the crushing weight against the bone causing further bruising to your soft flesh as the brute leers down at you.

Squeezing your eyes shut quickly, you try to suck oxygen into your burning lungs. You can feel König paw at your bare thighs, bunching your skirt as he greedily grasped the supple flesh in his palms.

"You smell divine," he whispers, refusing to acknowledge your feeble, pathetic attempts to shake his hold, "Mhmm..."

One of König's hands grasps at the hem of his hood, lifting the fabric ever so slightly. He leans down, slick tongue tracking your jugular to taste the sweat clinging to your flesh. A soft groan rumbles in his chest, delighted by the appetiser.

It's disgusting, mortifying, but warmth pools at the base of your spine as König's teeth nip at your flesh, sucking dark hickeys into your skin. It's as though he's claiming his 'kill', celebrating his successful hunt.

"Hng-" A quiet noise slips from your open mouth, eyelids fluttering as König slips his hand between your thighs. Ashamedly, you do little to fight his touch as he traces his fingertips towards your core.

A pause, bated and thick. König's eyes snap to your face pointedly, green irises reduced to a slither of jade circling the circumference of his inky pupils.

"Rotkäppchen," he addresses you steadily, regaining his composure almost as quickly as he'd lost it. König's index finger presses between the soaked lips of your cunt, slowly tracing up the seam of your sex. "It's dangerous in the woods. You know this, yes?"

Quivering beneath his delicate touch, you whimper as you jerk your chin down in a nod. König's fingerprint steadily rises, pausing its ascent just before the arch of your swollen clit.

"Then... You would understand the carelessness of abstaining from wearing panties," he muses, smugness dripping from his tone like drool from a beast's jowls. It equally disgusts and delights you. You can hear the slickness between your shaking thighs and feel the chill against the wetness smeared across your bare skin.

Pulsing ardently, your clit betrays your fear as it begs for König's touch. Pressure builds in your abdomen, coiling tight as your attacker's touch skirts just beyond its reach.

"Why would you take such a risk?" He asks rhetorically, watching the pinch of your brow and the drop of your jaw as you arc your hips upwards, chasing his touch. "Unless you wished to be ravished?"

It's sudden, without warning, but König's fingers sink deep into your weeping cunt. You gasp in surprise, your back aching from the damp soil when you dig your fingers into the earth. He groans, ravenous for a taste of you, as he buries his fingers deep inside your fluttering cunt.

He gathers the wetness of your cunt onto his fingers, pushing the length of his digits down to the knuckle before withdrawing entirely. Sobbing, you shake your head pitifully as you watch that same hand disappear beneath the fabric of his hood.

Those blackened eyes are easy to read, his thick, dark lashes fluttering when he places his soaked fingers against his tongue. Again, his self-control slips beyond his grasp momentarily, a devastated groan reverberating in König's chest as he relishes your taste. He barely allows himself a moment of satisfaction, already removing his knuckles from his mouth to devour more of you.

"Taste so sweet, Rotkäppchen," he marvels, enormous hands grasping at your shins and ignoring your protests as he pushes your knees against your chest, "And you're all mine."

Wailing as König's head dips between the pillowy flesh of your thighs, you find yourself unable to oppose the drag of his tongue as it traces over your swollen clit. It circles the flesh there delicately, savouring the sensation of it on his tongue.

"Ko-ohhh-" you choke on his name, toes curling helplessly as every muscle in your body locks up at the delectable sensation. He switches the direction of his circles now, twisting back the opposite way. You must be soaking his face, the sparks of pleasure building in the pit of your stomach wetting your thighs with your slick.

The branches and stones beneath you dig uncomfortably into your back, but you barely notice, thanks to König's velvety tongue sweeping through your drenched pussy lips. An earth-shuddering rumble vibrates through his chest, the sensation arching up your spine.

Spreading your knees further apart, you present yourself to him, will him to use you however he likes. König doesn't need to grapple with your hips. You're rocking them up into his face to meet the sensation of your building orgasm. If your unhinged movements frustrate him, König doesn't complain; he simply enjoys the feeling of you smearing your pussy across the tip of his nose and his mouth.

Something about the eroticism, the filthiness, of this makes your orgasm arc painfully up your spine.

"Ko-König-" you heave frantically, fingers grasping at the dark fabric draped over his skull, "König, I'm g-gonna-"

König's hands push your hips down, forcing them still in the overgrowth beneath you. His lips seal around your abused clit, sucking at it gently while flicking his tongue against it over and over and over again. You can't stop it- can't brace against the sensation as it detonates through you without warning.

Everything surges upwards, hot and slick. You arch against the burst of bliss, sobbing out König's name repeatedly. Each utterance sounds more broken than the last, breathier, whimpering and whining.

He doesn't even give your waves of ecstasy a chance to ebb. You only just hear the sound of him spitting into his palm over the heaving of your chest, the subsequent slick glide of him smearing it over the length of his obscenely large cock causing your arousal to flare up again.

"Kon-"

He eases his way into you without resistance, his thick, mushroomed head dragging against your walls just right. König breaks you open achingly slowly, and it's fucking exhilarating. You take every inch of him, squeezing the length and delighting in how König's cock jerks at your cunt gripping him. He bottoms out easily, his hips pushing against the curve of your ass and his pubic bone grinding into your clit.

You see stars amongst the forest canopy.

"Oh fuck– Oh– Please König, p-lease–" your whines are pathetic, pitchy and raw, but König's cock lurches again. The head bumps something utterly debilitating inside you, and your eyes roll back into your skull.

"Hush," König urges you, his cock slipping out of you. God, you can hear the sickeningly wet sounds your cunt makes when it loses him– only for him to glide right back in. He sets a slow, firm rhythm that blinds you, white static prickling across your vision.

You're not sure how much you were moving, but König's huge paw lays flat against the valley of your breasts, pinning you down with his body weight as he forces you to take the languid, greedy roll of his hips as they sink deeper and deeper into you.

"König!" you sob mindlessly, tears welling in your eyes and threatening to spill down the apples of your searing-hot cheeks.

"Shhh," he urges you again, rocking into you a little harder at the sound of your desperate pleas, "I can't- Need you to stay quiet–"

Wailing, agonised, you claw at his forearms. They're still clothed with a camo jacket, preventing your nails from biting at his skin. "Please!"

"Scheisse," König wheezes, "You– You need it faster? Is that what you want?" He doesn't give you an opportunity to answer, amping up the pace of his rocking hips before you can even form a response in your mind. You sob loudly, grasping at foliage that crunches beneath your solid grip.

"Please don't stop!" You beg him, voice frantic as he bludgeons that spot inside of you that blasts splintering shards of euphoria. "Please don't st– pleasedon'tstoppleasepleaseplease–"

König curses, bracing his knees into the forest floor before slamming his hips into you as hard as he can manage. His palm on your chest skirts to the right, grasping your breast and squeezing at it until it bulges between his fingers. You're lifting your hips to meet his now, jaw falling slack as he prods that spot inside you while grinding his pubic bone against your throbbing clit. It's merciless.

"Fuck, I will ruin you," König's voice sounds disembodied to your ears, his pitch desperate as though the words are slipping out against his will. He pulls you forward onto him, rocking impossibly deeper into you until you're sinking your fingers into the earth to hold yourself in place against his savage thrusts. "You— You won't be able t-to walk when I'm do-done with you, Rotkäppchen—"

It's coming. Fuck, it's coming, and it's devastating. You whimper, almost trying to escape the onslaught of pleasure that threatens to crash over you. König grasps your wrists, pinning you to the floor and fucking you over the edge.

It eviscerates you. You choke out a wordless cry as the white-hot sparks of your orgasm rip through your nervous system. Your thighs are trembling, your back arching, and you feel fat tears smear down your cheeks.

"Mei— Meine Perle," you hear König groan, forgetting the dynamic he was playing as he chases bliss, "I… Scheisse— I love you, I f-fucking— love—"

He gasps, loud and sharp, as his hips stutter. It's sloppy, his pace thrown as he grinds as deep as he can into your wet heat. König stutters to a halt, leaning down to bury his face in your neck when he cums. His cock throbs, spurting warm ropes of cum inside of you.

When the heaving of your chests finally settle, you can hear the birds twittering. You're both spent, catching your breath as you lay amongst the fallen, browning foliage and cling to one another.

"Mhm-" König lifts his head slowly, the fabric of his mask brushing at the skin of your cheek, your chin. "I forgot to continue acting."

His voice is shy, accent heavy as he presses apologetic kisses to your cheek. You can't help but giggle.

"It's okay," you whisper, stroking your palm down the ginormous, rippling expanse of his back. You feel him inhale slowly, taking in your scent as he clutches you closer to him.

"You do look good in red, Perle," he murmurs, pulling teasingly as the ridiculous cape he'd pinned to you hours before. You can hear the smile on his lips.

"Thank you. I like it when you're mean," you admit, and you feel König's body shake with a chuckle. He lifts himself from you slowly, those viridescent irises returning to their typical expanse as he gazes at you lovingly. He's high on dopamine, but you'd never doubt his love and affection for you.

Even when he grasped at you, attacked you, you knew you were safe.

"There's a bed to climb into," he reminded you of the cottage he'd booked. Naturally, you'd scoffed at the ridiculousness of his insistence in order to make it as believable as possible. Now, though? You were just glad there wasn't a three-hour drive home.

"What's in it for me?" you sigh. Other than the cosy mattress, instead of the rough leaves and sharp twigs you lay awkwardly on now?

"I can find it in myself for seconds," König mused, his hands gently grasping your thighs again.

"You big, bad wolf," you tease, and you swear you see the corners of König's eyes crinkle as he smiles beneath the hood.

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cambion-companion · 1 year

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tell me why i imagine sweet daeron having a little boy's crush on aemond's wife because she's so gentle and kind with him

i saw someone else's ask about how he wants to be just like aemond, not only out of admiration but because he thinks "if someone like aemond can get a wife like (y/n) then so can i if i'm like that!!"

and sweet boy copying his mannerisms, pulling her chair out at dinners before aemond can and even though the chair basically towers over him, she's coddling and gushing at how polite and thoughtful he is and he MILKS that

so it becomes a playful rivalry between aemond and him and she's just "it's like you're actually intimidated by your baby brother"

and aemond who's hiding a giant bouquet of flowers behind his back only to one up the little rose daeron gave you "absolutely not. me? be rivaled by the twerp? never-"

Hi!! Oh my god this is darling, I cannot wait to write for these prompts! Cute little Daeron is 4 years younger than Aemond...so we will say he's 15 during this. Adorable.

Aemond x wife!reader | Daeron learning from his brother | admiration crush | playful brother rivalry

"Thank you Daeron, you're so sweet!" You smiled brightly at the boy as he extended to you a bouquet of wildflowers. "Ouch!" A stinging sensation spread around where a sprig of green had touched your hand.

"Ah, stinging nettle." Your husband mused, eyebrow raised at his younger brother as you dropped the offending bunch of flowers to the ground. "An interesting addition, Daeron."

"Gods I am so sorry Y/N!" Daeron looked from your wincing face to his bouquet now scattered upon the stone ground in alarm. "I have gloves on...and a very mediocre knowledge of local flora it seems."

Aemond took your sore hand in his, placing a gentle kiss to where your skin was reddening and swelling. Daeron noted his brother's movements with a studious gaze.

"Let's get you to the maester, I'm sure they have ointment on hand for such an affliction." Giving Daeron one last severe look, Aemond swept you from the room, leaving the crestfallen prince standing alone chewing his lip.

Later that evening, your finger lightly bandaged and no longer hurting, you found yourself entering the dining hall on Aemond's arm.

Daeron took note of your entrance, waving to you enthusiastically and striding over, a look of concern on his face. "Are you alright? I truly apologize for my earlier blunder." He extended a single red rose to you, giving you a slight bow.

You took the delicate flower, trying hard not to let your amusement show, especially as you felt Aemond shift in annoyance beside you. "Thank you Daeron, that is very thoughtful. I am quite alright."

"No loss of limb yet." Aemond agreed, shaking his head at Daeron's earnest expression. "Though I cannot speak for yourself should you continue giving my wife flowers."

Daeron frowned only slightly before he gestured for you towards the dining table, sweeping your chair out from its place for you to sit. He bowed again as you carefully took your place, sinking into the welcoming cushion. You scooted forward as Daeron pushed you into table. He overdid it in his eagerness to help, and your midriff was pressed uncomfortably hard against the wood. You let out a slight "oof" as some air was expelled from your lungs and pushed back with your hands.

From your peripheral vision you saw Aemond take his brother by the scruff of his collar, forcefully seating the young man into his own seat and giving him a hard pat on the shoulder. "If you want to impress a lady, Daeron, I suggest resisting the urge to bisect her."

You hid your laugh in the goblet of wine you brought to your lips, pretending to take a sip as Aemond took his place beside you, his hand resting briefly atop your knee. "Did my oaf of a brother do any permanent damage?" He was only half-joking, the annoyance still evident in the timber of his voice.

"I may never recover." You jested, leaning into him slightly, turning your face to place a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. "He is simply trying to mirror what he sees you do for me."

"He's failing spectacularly."

"Aemond." You chided, taking a moment to make sure Daeron couldn't overhear. "He looks up to you. Clearly he wants to learn from you."

Aemond huffed, bringing his own goblet to his lips. He didn't answer you, seeming to sink into deep contemplation as he often did when something troubled him.

------

The next day was clear and crisp, the winter air still chill despite the shining sun. You descended a set of marble stairs to the room you usually took your luncheon in. To your surprise you found Daeron and Aemond within, deep in conversation with each other. Daeron was nodding and Aemond had his hands clasped tight behind his back. They ceased speaking as soon as you entered, looking almost guiltily at you.

"I hope you're not up to anything that will raze King's Landing." You teased, your skirts rustling as you moved toward the table.

You stopped, looking at the spread of food laid before you. It was all of your favorite things to eat and drink. A little sample of each treat you so adored. "Aemond?" You asked, not taking your eyes off the delicious array of delicacies.

"I arranged for your favorite foods to be brought up for your enjoyment." Your husband inclined his head as you finally looked at him.

"I brought some books I thought you'd like to read while you took your afternoon meal." Daeron volunteered, looking slightly guilty as Aemond shot him a bemused glare.

"That was so very thoughtful of you Daeron, thank you for thinking of me." You smiled graciously at the young Targaryen.

Daeron beamed.

You moved to Aemond, tilting his head toward you with a finger to his sharp jaw. "Thank you my dearest." You kissed him softly upon his plush lips. You moved your mouth to his ear, whispering so only he could hear. "Though you do not need to compete with your brother."

"Speaking of my brother." Aemond said loudly, turning to face Daeron, an impish smile on his curved lips. "I've arranged for you to meet with several ladies your age from notable noble houses this eve."

Daeron's face blanched. "I...meet...tonight?"

"Indeed." Aemond shook his head, chuckling. "You seem intent on practicing your courtship skills on my wife, it's only fair you get more experience with other women." He patted Daeron on the shoulder. "Though do try not to maim them too badly."

"I'd never!" Daeron spluttered, glancing at you guiltily. "Not on purpose!"

"Remember what I told you regarding..." Aemond started but Daeron waved him off.

"Yes, yes, no need to repeat it in front of Y/N." A faint blush painted the younger Targaryen's cheeks, causing your brow to raise as you looked inquisitively between the brothers.

"You're lucky Aegon hasn't gotten wind of what you've been up to." Aemond continued. "He'd give you unending grief."

"Helaena's given me some useful tips I think." Daeron looked at you. "She told me flowers and chocolates are a sure way to a girl's heart."

"Being interested in her and listening to what she has to say, what she's interested in, is also a solid start." You agreed, smiling knowingly at Aemond as his eye found yours. "Though chocolate does go a long way."

The three of you laughed, Aemond's arm snaking around your waist, pulling you against his side. Daeron watched each movement Aemond made around you with attention, his lilac eyes bright with interest.

"Don't go to Aegon for advice on women." Aemond warned suddenly, his face grave as he looked down at his younger brother. "And if he offers to teach you anything about them, you come to me instead. Understand?"

"Yes." Daeron nodded, looking mildly confused at Aemond's unexpected severity.

You squeezed Aemond's waist lightly, reassuring him with your presence. "All will be well. Daeron, you are a dashing young man who is sure to sweep the right girl off her feet in no time."

"Thank you, Y/N. I can only hope to be as lucky as Aemond."

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inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 7 months

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When The World Is Crashing Down [Chapter 6: I Am Missing You To Death]

Series summary: Your family is House Celtigar, one of Rhaenyra’s wealthiest allies. In the aftermath of Rook’s Rest, Aemond unknowingly conscripts you to save his brother’s life. Now you are in the liar of the enemy, but your loyalties are quickly shifting…

Chapter warnings: Language, warfare, violence, a Wolfman update, serious injury, alcoholism/addiction, sexual content (18+), dragons, murder, suicide, say hello to the Crab Fam! 🥰🦀

Series title is a lyric from: “7 Minutes In Heaven” by Fall Out Boy.

Chapter title is a lyric from: “I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me” by Fall Out Boy.

Word count: 9k (she chonky!).

Link to chapter list: HERE.

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There’s fire on the table, ice in your blood. Alicent and Helaena are prisoners in their rooms, and tomorrow Otto will be beheaded in the Dragonpit, but you are here in the Great Hall surrounded by candles, cider and beer and wine, rare roast boar sweating blood like rubies, raucous celebration.

Your father and Clement are laughing with Medrick Manderly, Lorent Marbrand, Luthor Largent, other men of Rhaenyra’s council; when they toast their wine, it sloshes carelessly out of the glass goblets. Corlys Velaryon—whose navy helped secure the city—is pensive and withdrawn, saying very little. At the center of the high table, the woman who calls herself queen is manic: color in her cheeks, light in her eyes, but not a warm life-giving glow, a hollow glint like the flash of coins or swords or moonlight. She is receiving a litany of congratulations for her victory from the lords of loyal houses: Blackwood, Bar Emmon, Costayne, Tully, Frey, Dustin, Cerwyn, Grimm. Frequently and unmistakably, Rhaenyra glances across the hall to where Daemon is conspiring with her military commanders, his back to the wall and arms crossed and face daunting yet distracted somehow, reminding you very much of Aemond. He does not look at his wife. He looks elsewhere, into the future, into the past, into the northwest where Nettles and Baela are waiting for him to return to the cursed corridors of Harrenhal.

“Please eat something,” Everett says quietly. He is carving off the least-bloody pieces of roast boar and laying them on your plate, where they remain untouched. He doesn’t have much to talk about with the other men as long as the topic of conversation hinges on combat. He knows books, not blades. Everett can walk, though only slowly and with great difficulty; he does not ride horses, he does not fight, he does not have a wife and in all likelihood never will. He reads and he watches, sharp eyes like a hawk’s.

“I’m alright,” you reply with effort that feels like lifting iron, stones, the dead weight of a man.

“You’re not,” Everett says, pained.

“Cregan Stark is a good man!” your father is telling his compatriots. He has grey hair and a crafty grin and speaks with dramatic sweeps of his arms. “When he heard of my daughter’s tribulations, borne with such courage, such resilience, he assured me that his intentions to wed her were unchanged. He pledged to forgive her any transgressions suffered at the hands of the Usurper.”

“A better husband than any of us!” Clement trumpets, toasting his wine glass with anyone who will accommodate him. Clement does have a wife—and two sons so far, the infant heirs of House Celtigar—but he spends far more time writing to Lord Stark than his family back on Claw Isle. “Gallant! Merciful! The most clever and civilized Northerner to ever live!”

“Hear hear!” his audience answers spiritedly, though Everett only frowns.

“And soon Cregan will leave Winterfell,” your father continues. Rhaenyra is now listening attentively. “He will finish rallying and fortifying his men, and then march south to crush the last vestiges of this infernal, traitorous uprising!”

Resounding cheers, fists drummed against the table. Clement picks up where your father left off: “Already Roddy the Ruin and his Winter Wolves slaughtered 2,000 Lannister men at the Fishfeed. Can you imagine the carnage when Cregan arrives with his host of young, fresh, able-bodied warriors?! We will eviscerate the Kingmaker! We will avenge Rhaenys, Lucerys and Jacaerys! And when we find the Usurper, when we drag him out of whatever hovel he’s crawled into on his belly like a snake, we will cut him open to see if his guts are green as well!”

As men roar all around you—men who have killed, men who are starving to do it again—you stare down at the reflection in your wine, a vacant face that barely resembles yours. You cannot write to Aegon. He cannot write to you. Where and how he is will remain a mystery until you meet again…or until the Blacks uncover his fate. In your mind, he is both alive and dead; he is sick, he is well, he is suffering, he is finding solace in another woman’s bed, he is lying broken on the side of the road, he is sailing under the cover of darkness into Dragonstone on a borrowed ship, he is drunk, he is sober, he is burning up with fever, his is reunited with Sunfyre, he is in desperate need of you, he has forgotten you completely.

“I bet he’s at Storm’s End!” Medrick Manderly bellows, motioning with a turkey leg as if it’s a dagger. “We should send assassins to slay him!”

“No, no, the Reach!” Luthor Largent counters. “He’s probably on his way to meet his brother Daeron there!”

Theories are lobbed back and forth like the arrows of archers, none of them right. No one asks you. No one has asked about the abuse you supposedly endured either. It was taken for granted as truth; what else could anyone expect from a captor as notoriously depraved and insatiable as the Usurper? Your melancholic demeanor is proof enough. Inquiry beyond that would be impolite. And then Rhaenyra says, startling you: “Is there any chance he’s gone to Dragonstone?”

“He cannot be there, Your Grace,” your father assures her. “It is impossible to take Dragonstone without there being signs, ships in the sea and smoke from the kitchens and the like. We would have heard from the lords of the Crownlands who reside near the island.”

Unless they have silently abandoned Rhaenyra’s cause. Unless Aegon and Larys have won them over. You have to protect him. You have to distract the side you once called your own. You twist the dragon ring on your left hand, gold wings and jade eyes. No one asks about that either; sometimes you think they don’t really see you at all. You say softly: “He spoke often of Dorne.”

“Dorne?” your father muses, stroking his short beard.

“Of course he did,” Clement says. “Degenerates are quite at home there.”

Medrick Manderly is muttering: “We’ll never find him if he gets past the Marches…”

Rhaenyra gazes at her husband again, a hollow, vulnerable sort of desperation, a plea that echoes against stone walls. He knocks back the last of his wine, turns his back on her, and strides out of the Great Hall. Rhaenyra’s pale eyes—a treacherous, oceanic sort of blue like Aegon’s—are glossy with despair. You’ve crossed paths with her before, of course, usually from a distance; but you are fascinated by how much she has changed. With each person she loses—King Viserys, infant Visenya, Luke, Jace—another piece of her is cut away like a man being flayed. The so-called queen is more erratic, more cold. She has had her remaining children brought to King’s Landing: Joffrey, Aegon the Younger, Viserys who is a sickly and disengaged toddler, his eyes and nose always running. They are tucked safely away in their rooms currently. They are glorified prisoners, just like you; they have no role in shaping the world they will one day inherit.

“My lady?” Autumn says, tapping your shoulder. The Blacks know her only as a handmaiden who assisted you in escaping the clutches of the Usurper when he fled King’s Landing. They have no idea who might have fathered the child in her rounded belly. It would not be safe for them to know. Before her time comes to deliver, Autumn will have to go someplace where the Blacks will be unaware if her son or daughter has the silvery hair of a Targaryen. You promised her a new home, but you cannot give it to her yet; nothing you own is truly yours, and Aegon left too suddenly to gift her property on your behalf. Autumn, curiously, does not seem to be in any hurry to leave you.

“I’m alright,” you say again, another leaden lie. The men are now discussing how the Usurper should be executed once they’ve found him: beheaded, hanged drawn and quartered, fed to a dragon, burned alive, some combination thereof. Medrick Manderly is suggesting that they have him flayed alive. When Cregan Stark arrives at last, surely there will be Boltons in his retinue.

“You are exhausted,” Autumn announces, loudly enough for the others to overhear. “You have been through so much. Please, my lady. Allow me to escort you back to your rooms.”

“Will you, please?” Everett asks Autumn. His eyes flick to hers, his fingers tapping his chin thoughtfully. “I’ll check on her before I retire for the evening.”

Autumn offers you her hand. This is a kindness, an escape. You take it and rise from the table.

“My daughter!” Bartimos Celtigar laments, gesturing to you. His spectators, men rabid with bloodlust, nod and murmur sympathetically, like it is almost something too distasteful to speak of. Murder can be discussed openly, torture, weapons, war; but the violence women collect and carry in their bones? Those are details best left unsaid. Perhaps it strikes too near to their own deeds, if they dared to think hard on them. Your father approaches and kisses you twice, once on each cheek. Rhaenyra drinks her wine and stares blankly at the place where Daemon had stood. “So wronged, so mistreated, and yet she is still with us. She will rise again. She has a glorious future ahead of her. We all do. All of us who serve Rhaenyra, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men. To the words of my house: Perpetual Resurrection!”

The men lift their cups and shout, none more deafeningly than Clement: “Perpetual Resurrection!” Everett mouths it quietly to himself. Corlys Velaryon says nothing. Rhaenyra holds her head high, sorrowful but defiant. You retreat from the Great Hall with Autumn, the hem of your gown flowing out behind you, black like the faction the Celtigars have aligned with, black like mourning.

“No,” you tell Autumn as she starts up the stairwell that leads to your bedchamber.

She is puzzled. “Where then?”

“Take me to the dungeons.”

“What? Why?” Then she understands. “Oh. Oh no. You don’t want to go down there. It’s awful, dark and grimy, dried blood on the walls, handprints and fingernails. Spiders and bones. Rats everywhere.”

“So you know the way.”

“Yes,” she admits cagily, tugging at a coiled lock of her coppery hair.

Your eyes narrow. “When were you in the dungeons?” You met Aegon there? He took women there? Before the war, before he was burned, before he met me?

“Don’t ask questions you wouldn’t want the answers to,” Autumn says primly. Then she ushers you through doorways and shadowy stairwells that lead down, down, down.

Grand Maester Orwyle is in the black cells. Jasper Wylde has already been executed; Tyland Lannister is being tortured until he reveals the location of the Greens’ stores of treasure. Otto Hightower, condemned to death, is housed on the floor of the dungeons reserved for prisoners of noble birth. There are torches burning in the corridor, rage-orange luminescence like dusk bleeding into the cells through gaps in the iron bars. Autumn does not leave you alone there, but she does wait at the end of the hall to give you—and the man who three times served as the Hand of the King and was twice removed from the same office, first by King Viserys and again by Aegon when Otto proved too cautious for his liking—some semblance of privacy.

Otto peers up at you from where he sits on the floor of his cell, strewn with dirty straw and glowing firelight. He appears old, impossibly old; the flesh has evaporated between his skull and his yellowed skin. He already looks like the skeleton he will be soon. He once counseled Aegon against flying into battle with Sunfyre, and Aegon hated him for it. But Otto was right, wasn’t he? “Did you tire of all the merriment upstairs? Or have they run out of roast boar? I could smell it cooking, you know. All day long as rats chewed at my ankles.”

“I imagine you now regret not running when you had the chance.”

Otto shrugs haggardly. “My odds would have been as good on the road as here. Out there, I might have been descended upon by a bear or a shadowcat or a band of thieves who left me gutted on the roadside. At least my death will be clean and swift.”

“Is there anything I can bring you?” you ask him, gently now. “Anything I can do for you? Before…tomorrow?” Before your life is ended. Before the Greens lose one of their greatest assets.

His gaunt face stretches into a slow, taunting grin. “You have chosen a side, Lady Celtigar.”

That’s true, isn’t it? By not spilling the Greens’ secrets. By falling in love with their king. “If Rhaenyra wins, I have to marry Cregan Stark and Aegon dies.”

“And you want him to live so he can marry you.”

It stuns you so much it takes a moment to find your words again. “Well, that’s not possible.” He already has a wife, no matter how insane she is now.

“I would not assume that any form of depravity is beyond his skill.” Otto sighs deeply. “Before that bitch took the city, I was corresponding with the Dragonseeds called Ulf the White and Hugh Hammer. They claim they will switch to our side for titles that Rhaenyra denies them. Ulf wanted Storm’s End—delusional, the drunk could not manage a fishing village, he spells half his words wrong—and Hugh asked the Blacks for Casterly Rock. Apparently Daemon was actually amenable, but Rhaenyra refused the notion entirely. How fortunate for us. If we offer these Dragonseeds the seats of lesser houses—Costayne and Merryweather, I’d suggest, both traitors to Aegon’s cause—I think they’ll declare for us. Alicent must write to them. With Aemond, Criston, and Daeron on the battlefield, and Aegon gods know where, she must be the one to negotiate for our side now. She is capable of it. I know she is.”

“She can’t get to the rookery.”

Otto smiles up at you cunningly. “I suspect her letters will somehow find their way there,” he says. “And you are now more knowledgeable of the would-be betrayers’ whereabouts than I am.”

You nod. This is true, for the Blacks speak openly around you. While Corlys’ alleged bastard Addam Velaryon—who accompanied the navy into King’s Landing—now patrols the skies above the city on Seasmoke, Ulf and Hugh are currently stationed at Maidenpool in a remote corner of the Riverlands and awaiting further instruction. Rhaenyra dislikes them, you can sense this already. She has heard tales of boasting, drinking, whoring, brawling, bottomless greed. She does not trust them. She does not understand how the gods allowed her sons to be killed and those scoundrels to live.

Otto says: “Can I ask you something?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“What is it that draws you to Aegon?” He speaks with profound, genuine confusion. “What is there to admire? To yearn for?”

You see him, playful crooked smile and dazed eyes, careful hands, tiny silver braid. Unaware that you’re doing it, you twist the dragon ring on your finger. “He’s brave. He’s kind. I don’t understand why none of you can see it.”

“Ah.” And now Otto at last comprehends. “I was in love once,” he says wistfully, very far away, gazing at the stone wall, gazing at nothing. “I don’t remember what it felt like. But I remember that it happened. I suppose I will see Alicent’s mother again tomorrow. I hope she still recognizes me.” His eyes return to you, reflecting torchlight that shifts and distorts. “These dark, contagious facets of life change us all. They ruins us. Time, heartache, violence. You become capable of inconceivable things. You would scheme and deceive. You would murder.”

You can hear Aegon’s voice in the silence of the dungeons: I ruin causes. I ruin people. I couldn’t do that to you. “I’ll help your side however I can.”

“Do not allow the Blacks to discover your treason. You are far more valuable to us as someone who can drift between worlds than as a professed ally, assuming you cannot turn the Celtigars.”

“I can’t.” You could convince Everett, perhaps. But he isn’t the heir to Claw Isle.

Then Otto smiles, and it is the softest, most tender thing you’ve ever seen him do. “Please tell Alicent that I love her.”

“I will.”

“Now go,” he says. “Before you are witnessed here. Before you endanger what you want most.”

To end the war. To stop this suffering. To be with Aegon again. You hesitate, not knowing how to say goodbye. What is there left to say when the man in front of you is already dead?

“Go,” Otto Hightower orders again; and this time you obey.

He dies at 9:00 the next morning. Sunlight streams fierce and blinding into the Dragonpit. The smallfolk applaud and cheer, though perhaps mostly because Syrax and Caraxes are perched atop the domed roof and waiting, fangs bared, to devour anyone who dissents. In the people’s eyes, you see less savagery than terror. You can read the thoughts that dart between them, infectious like fever: We do not trust Rhaenyra, this ruthless queen, this Maegor with teats. We do not trust her bloodthirsty uncle-husband. We do not want to burn if Aemond and Vhagar return to reclaim the city.

Daemon swings the blade himself. It takes three blows to sever Otto’s head. This must have been intentional; you know what an expert swordsman Daemon is.

~~~~~~~~~~

You sit compliantly with your family at meals, dances, executions. You stroll in the gardens. You bring Helaena flowers, lilies, irises, tulips, daisies, roses. You bring Alicent paper and quills and ink. You take the letter she writes to the rookery above the chambers where Grand Maester Orwyle once resided. As the raven departs for Maidenpool, black wings flapping in cerulean summer air, you stare through a window that looks out onto Blackwater Bay towards Essos, Driftmark, Dragonstone.

Is Aegon there now? Is he alive?

You have no way of knowing; while ravens pass between King’s Landing and the Riverlands frequently, you cannot risk someone noticing correspondence with Dragonstone. But you feel that Aegon is safe on that fearsome, windswept island. You feel that he might even be gazing out of his own window, back towards the mainland, back towards you.

When you return to your bedchamber, Everett is there. He is seated at the writing desk and pointing to pages in a book about animals of the Crownlands, bears and dragons and crabs. The book is for children; the words are large and accompanied by colorful illustrations. Autumn is sitting in Everett’s lap, giggling as she repeats the words that he croons through her firelight hair.

You pause in the doorway. “What are you doing?”

“Learning how to read!” Autumn replies brightly.

“I thought you weren’t interested in that.”

“I’ve been struck by sudden and forceful inspiration to shed my commoner ignorance.”

“Autumn, dear,” Everett prompts. She climbs out of his lap, sweeps him a teasing girlish courtesy, and sails out of the room. Everett looks to you. “Come. Sit.”

“Not in your lap, hopefully.”

He laughs. “Where on earth did you find her?”

You take a seat at the edge of your bed, toying with your ring. Your fingertips glide over the bumps of those gleaming jade eyes. “A brothel here in King’s Landing. I don’t know what sort of family she was born into.”

“Oh,” Everett sighs sympathetically. Your father and Clement would be viciously pejorative, would demand Autumn’s removal from your service immediately. But Everett is a different sort of man. He was even before he was burned, and he’s far more so now. “The poor thing.” Then his eyebrows leap up. “Wait. How did you end up visiting a brothel…?”

“It doesn’t matter.” You peer out the window that overlooks the beach. You’re always watching the sea now, as if it can tell you its secrets, as if it can whisper to you in a language made of gull cries, breaking waves, starlight and moonbeams reflected on indigo currents in the dead of night.

“It’s strange,” Everett says. There is a soft, sad smile on his face. “Your body is here with us, but your soul isn’t.”

You don’t know how to reply. You don’t know how to explain everything that’s happened.

“The Usurper must have harmed you terribly.” Everett is not asking, but he is opening the door; you can tell him anything that is burdening you, and he will keep it to himself. You once sat with him as he lay dying, or at least when everyone believed he was; everyone but you and Maester Arthur back on Claw Isle. You once helped bring him back to life. That is a bond forged with something stronger than iron, something deeper than blood.

Aegon? Harm me? “He would never do that.”

Now Everett’s eyes are fixed intently on you. He is reading you like calculations of taxes, expenses, accounts, gains, losses. He realizes, hushed and alarmed: “You weren’t taken to King’s Landing by force.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

His jaw drops open, his eyes blink incredulously. “Do you…do you think he’s the rightful king?!”

“It’s not about that for me.”

“You are betrothed to another man.”

“Yes,” you agree.

“The Usurper is married.”

“Yes,” you say again. “And yet…”

“Seven hells,” Everett exhales. He shakes his head. “But…the Usurper…Aegon…he…he…he’s a monster, isn’t he? A rapist, a degenerate, a slothful and selfish wastrel?”

“No. He’s not. Just like Rhaenyra isn’t a sweet, serene mother to her kingdom.”

Everett smirks ruefully. He can’t argue with this.

“Aegon will pardon any Celtigar who rebelled against him. All they need to do is swear fealty upon being captured.”

“Do you know where he is now?”

“I know where he was planning to go. I don’t know if he made it there.”

“And you worry for him,” Everett says softly.

You nod, unable to speak. You can feel the threat of tears scorching in your throat, dark churning clouds that forecast lightning, cyclones, floods.

“His burns have healed?” Everett asks. “Everyone knows he was horribly wounded at Rook’s Rest.”

“They’ve scarred over. But that doesn’t mean he’ll be alright.”

Everett understands this, he remembers the discussions the two of you once had with Maester Arthur. Severe burns weaken the organs, even years after the flesh is no longer raw and weeping. Survivors are prone to failure of their kidneys, liver, heart. They must be careful to avoid further trauma. Aegon does not have that luxury. “I don’t know what remedy to offer you,” Everett says remorsefully. “Rhaenyra met with Alicent, and the dowager queen put forth a generous compromise. Alicent proposed that the realm be divided. Aegon’s seat would be at Oldtown, and his jurisdiction would include the Reach, the Westerlands, and the Stormlands. Rhaenyra would continue to rule from King’s Landing and preside over the Crownlands, the Riverlands, the Vale, the Iron Islands, and the North. Both branches of the family would survive.”

“Rhaenyra could have ended it.” You marvel at the simplicity, the doomed slighted possibilities. “Here and now. The bloodshed would be over. Aegon could return to me.”

“Rhaenyra rejected the notion of any concessions whatsoever. Our father and Clement encouraged her. I would advocate for a peaceful resolution, I would advance your interests, sister. I would, I swear I would. But it is futile. You know they don’t listen to me.”

No, not in the arena of warfare. Everett is the heir to your father’s skill with trade, but Clement is the future Lord of Claw Isle, and it is he who wields swords and shields and leads men into combat. Everett cannot fight. Other men will never regard him as their full equal. “You have listened to my treason and not condemned me. I cannot ask for more from you than that.”

Everett stands from his chair, a slow, laborious undertaking. He crosses the room gingerly, lifts your chin to break the trance as you stare down at your ring, beams like the sun. “You want him.”

“Yes,” you admit helplessly.

“You’ve never wanted any man.”

“Just him. It can’t be anyone but him.”

Everett nods, thoughtful, amused. “Then I will pray that Lord Cregan Stark takes a wrong turn on the Kingsroad and ends up in the Vale, or the Iron Islands, or Essos, or perhaps even walks right into the sea. He’d sink, I’m sure. All those furs must be heavy when wet.”

“If anyone asks, you believe Aegon to be in Dorne.”

“I certainly do.” Everett smiles, touches his lips to your forehead, shuffles off to find Autumn and tell her that she can come back now.

Some nights, if you can enter without being noticed, you steal into the bedchamber that was once Aegon’s, the place where you brought him back from the dead, the place where he made you crave things that had once only filled you with dread, fear, revulsion. No one else has claimed Aegon’s rooms. No one else wants them. They make jokes about the debaucheries his walls must have seen, the unholy stains that surely riddle his mattress, rugs, curtains. They don’t know him at all, and nothing can make them want to. Tonight, there are quarreling voices coming from outside. You go to the open window, your lungs expanding with cool indigo air, and look out.

“Where are you going? Daemon? Daemon!” Rhaenyra is raging after him, following him onto the wet sand of the beach. “Back to Harrenhal? Back to your whore?!”

He does not answer. He strides arrogantly, he storms away from her, this woman he once loved for her tenacity and pride. He has no appetite for weakness. He has no patience for pruning those creeping, thorny vines of madness that are growing into her mind, her veins. Already Caraxes is landing in the surf to take him back to his foothold in the Riverlands, to Baela, to Nettles.

“Then go!” Rhaenyra screams after Daemon. And if you can hear this, surely others can as well. “Just go! We don’t need you here! I don’t need you here!”

Lies, lies, lies. Desperate and transparent lies.

Daemon and Caraxes take flight and disappear into the nightscape darkness over the ocean. You climb into the bed that was once Aegon’s, curl up in a nest of his blood-flecked sheets, breathe in lingering wisps of rose oil and the echoes of his low, drowsy voice, thick with wine and milk of the poppy and forbidden desire for a woman who sheds and replaces her skin again and again and again.

~~~~~~~~~~

A week later, you go to the gardens and read under the heart tree about cures and poisons. When you return inside—clutching a glass jar containing sticks, leaves, grass, and a single wriggling caterpillar, a gift for Helaena—the Red Keep is in chaos. Servants and guards are gossiping feverishly. Upstairs, Alicent is howling with grief. You glimpse Autumn racing up a staircase towards the dowager queen’s rooms to comfort her. There are sounds of celebration in the Great Hall, cups being toasted and cheers loosed like dragonfire. You follow them, suffocating terror constricting your throat like a noose. Is it Aemond, Criston, Daeron? Is it Aegon? Have they found him, have they killed him?

At the center of the high table, Rhaenyra is wearing a gown of black and red on her body and a smile of soulless satisfaction on her face. She holds a glass of maroon wine high above her head. “To vengeance!” she calls, and the lords that fill the hall thunder the words back to her. “To victory!”

“Father…?” you say, rushing to Bartimos Celtigar’s side. Clement is shaking hands with Manderlys and Blackwoods and Costaynes, grinning radiantly. Everett and Corlys are peering around grimly, looking uneasy, looking ashamed.

What have they done now? Who have they murdered in cold blood?

“Father, what—?”

“He has no more heirs,” Bartimos Celtigar tell you, as if it is the most joyous of surprises, as if is a gift like a gemstone or a rare book.

“Who?”

“The Usurper. Both of his sons are now dead. Neither of his brothers have children. Aegon has no heirs!”

“Maelor,” you whisper, envisioning that defenseless white-haired child, giggling, affectionate, anxious, sobbing in the arms of Sir Rickard Thorne. The jar tumbles out of your grasp and shatters against the stone floor. “Maelor is…he’s…he’s been killed…?”

“By a mob of Black loyalists at Bitterbridge,” your father says. “The Greens were trying to smuggle the child to Oldtown. Our supporters attempted to seize the boy so he could be brought to us. Alas, they were too boisterous. He did not survive, and neither did his keeper Rickard Thorne.”

They tore Maelor apart? They clawed and yanked at that little boy until there was nothing left but shreds of muscle and moon-white bones? You gape up at your father, unable to recognize him, unable to keep the horror from your face. “You’re celebrating the murder of a child?”

“They did the same when Luke was killed.”

Because Aegon thought they had to. Because he wanted to protect his brother. “It was wrong then and it’s wrong now.”

“You are too compassionate, daughter,” your father says, smiling with a puddle-deep, patronizing fondness. Was he always this way? Has he changed so much, or have you? He touches your cheek, and you want to flinch away from him. “You lose sight of the scale of this war. Each child of the Usurper that dies spares thousands of others. Aegon now has no heirs left, not unless you count that little girl who’s hidden away somewhere, and don’t the Greens reject the right of a daughter to inherit the throne? Isn’t that what all of this havoc has been about, preventing Rhaenyra’s ascension? This is a resounding triumph for our side! This is something to commemorate!”

They tore Maelor apart??

Corlys gets up from the table and leaves the Great Hall. Everett is watching you with wide, fearful eyes. He is pleading silently: Don’t react. Don’t panic. Not where they can see you.

“Are you well?” your father asks you, concerned now.

“I feel ill,” you hear yourself answer. You grip the back of his chair so the floor can’t rip itself out from under you.

“Just a moment,” Everett says, rising in that labored way, the scar tissue straining painfully at his ankles and knees and hips. “I’ll accompany you back to your rooms…”

But you can’t wait for him. The tears are already flame-hot and misty in your eyes. You rip away from the Celtigars, away from all the Blacks, and escape upstairs. Breathless, sobbing, you go first to Helaena’s bedchamber. Aegon’s wife is standing in front of her window that overlooks the sandstone courtyard, cobblestones of muted earthy gold. You can hear courtiers chattering far below. You can hear the carousing reverberating from the Great Hall. Helaena does not turn when you arrive; she does not give any indication that she is aware of you.

“Helaena,” you gasp. “Your Grace, I…I’m so sorry…what has happened…it’s despicable, it’s soulless, I cannot stop Rhaenyra’s men from reveling in it but I would never defend their actions, I would never join them, I am horrified and heartsick and appalled—”

“It’s a travesty,” Autumn says from the doorway, and you glance over at her. When you look back to the queen, she has vanished.

“Helaena?!” you shout. You and Autumn bolt to the window. Down in the courtyard, courtiers are shrieking and fleeing from the mess. On the cobblestones, Helaena lies sprawled; her arms and legs are bent at impossible angles. A pool of blood spreads out from under her like a river swelling in a storm until it spills over. Guards are hurrying to the scene, their armor jangling. “Helaena!”

“She’s gone,” Autumn says, bundling you into her arms before you can make for the hall, the stairwell. Her belly presses unyieldingly into you. “There’s nothing you can do. Don’t go down there. You can’t help her now.”

You cover your face with both hands and scream: for Maelor, for Helaena, for Alicent, for Aegon, for the world full of people who can’t stop paying the debts others incurred.

“Don’t go down there.” Autumn’s voice is warm and hushed, her grasp strong. “You can’t help Helaena now. You can only hurt yourself. You don’t need to see it. You don’t need her blood on your hands.”

Everett appears, looks out the window to investigate the commotion in the courtyard, backs away with a hand covering his gaping mouth. “Oh, gods. All the gods, Old and New. What a goddamn fucking disaster.”

Autumn at last releases you, and you dash into the hallway with Everett following as quickly as he can and Autumn walking with him, one arm looped through his. You find Alicent in her rooms, standing motionless beside her bed in an emerald green gown. She is trembling and speechless, she is in shock. You embrace her. “I’m sorry,” you say, tears falling on the velvet of her dress. “I know that doesn’t make it any better, but I am.”

Everett and Autumn enter the bedchamber and shut the door behind them. “What—?” Everett begins.

“I have to go to him,” you say. You step away from the dowager queen and wipe your eyes with your sleeves, black like onyx, like obsidian, like death.

“Who...?”

“Aegon. The king,” you tell them. “He’s going to hear of this. He’s going to know what happened to Maelor and Helaena. I can’t let him face that alone. I can’t let him fall into despair.”

“But he…I mean…” Everett is trying to choose his words sensitively. The state of the royal marriage was no secret anywhere in the realm. “Was he even…involved with his wife and children? In any meaningful way?”

“It’s not about them, it’s about him thinking that he’s responsible, that he’s a curse to anyone he touches, that he ruins people, I…” You shake your head franticly. “I can’t stay here. I have to go. I have to be with him.”

“Go where?!” Everett exclaims.

“Dragonstone,” Autumn answers for you.

“Dragonstone,” he repeats numbly. “You can’t be serious! How will you get there?!”

“I’ll take a horse to Crackclaw Point and then pay a boat to ferry me across the water.”

“Alone?!” Everett says.

“I’ll have to be. You cannot travel by horse, only carriage. And your absence would be noticed too swiftly. Father would send soldiers after you if he feared you’d been captured.”

“You’ve never gone anywhere alone, now you’re going to travel a hundred miles over earth and ocean to Dragonstone?!”

“She won’t be alone,” Autumn says. You and Everett turn to her. She is grinning. “I mean no offense, my lady, but you know nothing of the world beyond your castles and gardens and books full of naked men drawings. You would not last a day on your own.”

“You can’t ride a horse either,” you object. “You’re with child. It could be dangerous.”

“I’ve done far more vigorous activities while pregnant, believe me.”

“You’re really going?” Everett says, quiet, mournful. It seems that you’ve only just reunited with him.

“I have to. Aegon thought I’d be safe with the Blacks, and I am, I suppose…but I’m not really a Black anymore. And I can’t let him suffer alone. I…I…”

“You love him,” Alicent says. She gazes at you with huge, glassy, void-dark eyes, like those of a doe felled by arrows. She is half-here and half-not, and thank the gods for that. Her loss is too great. She cannot bear it all at once. Part of her knows her only daughter is dead on the cobblestones outside, her last grandson was torn apart by a mob that were more beasts than men. And then part of her is only aware of this room. “Properly. Entirely. In a way he can understand.”

“I do,” you confess. I do, I do.

“I’m glad,” Alicent says dully. “Someone must.”

She staggers to her bed, lies down on it, curls up like a wounded animal, rips away her golden necklace of a seven-pointed star and throws it to the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the night, you and Autumn leave King’s Landing on horses Everett procured. There is only a skeleton crew of guards left in the Red Keep; the rest are partaking in the festivities that pulse in the Great Hall like a heartbeat, candlelight and music and manic glee. Yet among the smallfolk, no one is celebrating. They are in mourning for their misfortunate, benign queen and her toddler son. They are hissing venomously about Rhaenyra, Daemon, Bartimos Celtigar.

The court will not notice Autumn’s absence, not for days at least, perhaps not ever. Everett will upend your bedchamber before he goes to sleep, knocking over chairs and tables, yanking sheets from the bed. In the morning, he will tell your father that he assumes you are still resting from your illness, from the insurmountable stress of the past months. Women are so fragile, after all; their lives are one tragedy after the next. When at last someone checks on you—hopefully not for a few days—it will appear that you have been taken after a struggle. You did not leave. You were kidnapped by fiends using the secret passageways. You are a prisoner of the Greens again, and likely spirited away to the Stormlands or the Reach or perhaps even the remote, golden sands of Dorne.

You and Autumn travel by night and sleep through the day, staying at roadside inns paid for by the heavy sack of coins Everett gifted you. It is not difficult to blend in among countless travelers and refugees displaced in the wake of the war. You have no distinguishing characteristics, no Valyrian-white hair or ragged burns or sapphires in place of eyes. In fact, Autumn attracts more attention than you do. She is beautiful, talkative, effortlessly flirtatious. Men trail after her at every inn. You receive exemplary service, the hottest soup and the cleanest rooms. She complains to you about how difficult it is becoming for her to rest as her belly grows: perhaps five months along, perhaps six, she isn’t certain, her cycle was already irregular from the lemonweed tea brewed at the brothel.

In a small town called Eagle Harbor at the base of Crackclaw Point, you need to hire a sailor to take you across the narrow strait to Dragonstone. You fumble through stilted inquiries at a tavern until Autumn takes charge, half-drags a bald, bearded man back into the pantry, emerges with him five minutes later, and orders a pint of ale that she sips with a lazy, arrogant smirk.

“May the Mother have mercy!” the sailor says unsteadily, wiping sweat from his brow. “I’ll go to Dragonstone and back ten times for this red-haired demon!”

You and Autumn board his humble vessel at the end of the town’s lone pier and set off through choppy, night-draped waters towards Dragonstone. On the way, the sailor informs you that he’s made this trip a handful of times in the past two weeks, delivering an assortment of workers to the island: servants, guards, maesters, cooks.

“Rumor has it,” the sailor says with a conspiratorial grin. “There is a very illustrious occupant currently holding Dragonstone. He is scarred, but he is growing stronger. Surely you know of whom I speak. He must have beckoned you to join him. Perhaps you are servants. Perhaps you are whores. He has a famed appetite for them.”

“Perhaps, perhaps,” Autumn offers casually.

“Many here in the Crownlands are aware,” the sailor continues. “But you will not catch anyone being too loose with their gossip. The Beggar King is no enemy to us. The Bitch Queen is an enemy. That money-grubbing Bartimos Celtigar is an enemy. But the Greens will end the taxes he put on us. The sooner the Beggar King is well again, the better. He and his dragon too.”

When the sailor docks at Dragonstone, Autumn helps you up onto the pier and then gets back in the boat. “You aren’t staying?” you ask her, baffled, troubled. You have grown terribly attached to her. Cold night rain falls onto the island, growing heavier by the minute. Lightning snaps through the darkness and strikes near the castle.

“No. I want to be with Everett.” Autumn smiles. “And I know the king would not wish for me to impose upon Dragonstone.”

She’s probably right. “Why is he so cold to you? So avoidant?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Autumn says. “He doesn’t want you thinking about him fucking anyone except you.” She grins, winks, gestures for the sailor to unmoor his boat again. “When the Greens come to retake the capital, please ask them not to incinerate me.”

“I’ll pass the message along.”

“Good luck,” she says, waving. “We’ll wait to set sail until you’ve started up the steps.”

Through the darkness, through the driving rain, you trudge up the beach and then ascend the stone steps carved precariously into the cliffside. The grey stone is slippery; for parts of the climb, you walk on your palms as well as your boots. Your ring clinks against rock. When the clouds momentarily blow away from the moon, the gold wings glimmer in the silver light. There are torches burning in the mouths of iron dragons as you near the entranceway of the castle, towering walls that disappear into storm clouds. There is candlelight flickering in the corridors and chambers within. You can see dots of miniature infernos in the windows.

Aegon is in one of those rooms.

Suddenly, a screech startles you so badly you nearly plunge off the steps. Fire blooms in the night air only yards from your face. He’s clutching the cliffside, glaring at you with molten gold eyes set in an angular skull, snarling, smoke drifting skyward from his nostrils. You scream before you can stop yourself.

Sunfyre!!

You crouch down on the steps, squeeze your eyes shut, and wait for him to burn you alive. Seconds pass, ten, twenty, thirty. When you look at Sunfyre again, scales shimmering in the moonlight, he is observing you not with hatred but with curiosity that is clever, almost catlike. You have never been this close to a dragon before. You’ve never wanted to be, and now is no exception. He smells like smoke and sulfur, earth and ash. Sunfyre clambers nearer to you, his muzzle outstretched. You flinch away, whimpering, but he is not deterred. The dragon sniffs and nudges at you, his breath hot, his snout bumping against your arm and shoulder.

“Stop!” you squeak, petrified. “Sunfyre, don’t!”

At last, he seems to realize he’s frightening you. The dragon retreats with a low grumble from deep in his chest. You scramble up the remainder of the steps before he can change his mind.

There is distant shouting, and someone cranks open the castle gate for you. You hurry into the courtyard, running now, as rain pours down on you and thunder booms. There is a figure in a hooded cloak trotting out of the castle entrance. At first you don’t believe he can be Aegon; he is standing too tall, moving too brisky. You have never seen him so well before. But then he calls to you, and there is no doubt.

“Angel?!” Aegon shouts in disbelief over the drumming of raindrops. He is rapidly closing the distance between you. The wind tears off his hood. Beneath it his hair is longer than you remember and wild except for a single small braid down the left side of his face. His cheeks are ruddy. Tears stream from his eyes. He has heard what happened to Maelor and Helaena; he has been weeping for them, for the impending ruin of anyone he’s ever touched. “What the hell are you doing here—?!”

And instead of waiting for an answer he kisses you, or you kiss him, or you both do it at once, an unspoken covenant written not in ink but in the blood that whispers to each other through the veils of vessel walls, muscle, scarred skin. His hands are cradling your jaw, his lips ravenous. He smells like rose oil; he tastes like wine and rain and the clean salt of tears, the ageless mineral blue of the ocean.

“It has to be you,” you tell Aegon, a ghost of a voice in the maelstrom of the storm. Your thumbprint skates across his full bottom lip before you kiss him again, more slowly now, entwining yourself with him, hipbones and ribcages and handprints that will never wash off. Do you see what I’m offering? Do you feel what I want? “You’re not ruining me. You’re saving me. And it can’t be anyone but you.”

Aegon studies your face, stunned eyes murky like the waves, and then hungry as well: depths that swallow ships, watery graveyards that feast on bones. Then he takes your hand and leads you into Dragonstone. Inside, Larys Strong is waiting under a cascade of torchlight. He blinks at you as if you might disappear. When you don’t, he tilts his head to the side, intrigued.

“Lord Larys,” Aegon says curtly. “Make yourself invisible for the rest of the night.”

“Yes, Your Grace,” Larys purrs with a bow. Then he vanishes into the shadows.

“This way,” Aegon says, and you follow him up a staircase and down a corridor to a bedchamber illuminated only by a few flickering candles and flashes of lightning. In the corner of the room, you glimpse swords and armor; on Aegon’s bedside table, there is a glass bottle of rose oil and the hollowed-out shell of a crab, boiled red like fresh blood. And then you are on the bed and Aegon is beside you and there is not a single thread of you, muscle or marrow or nerve, that is afraid. “Are you sure?” he’s asking between deep, insatiable kisses, his fingers working on the laces of your gown. “We don’t have to. We can stop.”

But does he want that? No, no, he’s starving just like I am. “I’m sure, Aegon.” And you uncover each other with hands that rip away cotton and silk like trees are stripped bare in the winter.

His clothes are gone, cloak and trousers crumpled on the floor, and he pauses with trepidation in his eyes. His scars riddle him with uneven swaths of white, pink, red, a burgundy so dark it’s almost the violet of a bruise. The macabre patchwork stops at the lowest part of his belly, where his skin becomes abruptly pristine, pale, velvet-soft. “I guess…” He swallows noisily. “I guess this isn’t what you imagined the man you’d sleep with would look like, huh?”

“No,” you agree, smiling, pulling him in close again. I never imagined enjoying this at all. “And I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything. Don’t keep me waiting.”

Aegon helps you tug off your gown and loosen your hair; it spills freely over the bedsheets. He’s on top of you, his warm weight perfect and welcome and right. Too swiftly for you to be nervous, his hand has settled between your legs. He strokes you, only on the outside where there is no threat of pain, as his tongue darts into your mouth and wetness soon coats his fingers. Then his fingers venture lower, seeking to enter you, the first time anything ever has. And you feel it, though you wish you didn’t, involuntary and uninvited: your body tensing just as his finger attempts to glide inside, a biting pain that makes you wince.

“No,” you yelp softly, a betrayal of your own flesh.

“Okay,” Aegon murmurs reassuringly. “That’s okay. Not a problem. Here…” He sits upright, draws you to him, bites lightly at your throat as you settle in his lap. “You’re in charge. You decide if and when it happens. And if this time doesn’t work, that’s fine, that’s completely fine, we can try again later, I can wait—”

“Are you alright like this? Am I too heavy?”

He grabs your face with his left hand—fingers hooked around your jaw, his eyes locked with yours—and says roughly: “Don’t ask about me again.”

“Okay,” you moan into him as his right hand skims down to touch you, to coax the fear out of you, to draw powerful circles around the place where your pleasure is greatest.

“This is about you.”

“Okay,” you say again, only a whisper this time, obedient, desperate.

“Please let me have this,” Aegon begs, resting his forehead against yours, his silver hair grazing your cheeks. “Please let me take care of you this time.”

“Yes,” you sigh, breathing him in, roses and heat and wine and sharp, oceanic, mineral lust. You lay your palms against the gnarled scar tissue of his chest and Aegon chuckles bitterly.

“I can’t even feel it. I’m a monster.” Then you press your bare hips to his, gradually finding a rhythm, slipping his cock through slick, warm folds that are aching more ardently than you ever knew was possible. “Oh fuck,” he gasps. “I felt that.”

“I want you,” you plead. “I want you, I want you.”

“Not yet…”

You are aware that your tension unraveling, your muscles opening as Aegon massages you until his hand is soaked, until you’re so wet the friction is almost nonexistent. Outside waves crash and lighting flashes and thunder growls like a dragon. I can’t wait. I need him. You lift up and Aegon holds his cock steady, coating it in your wetness with a quick pump of his hand, so you can lower yourself onto him. Slowly, you can feel his cock sinking into you, an indescribably foreign sensation, fullness and stretching and dull, strange contentment that is more like the potential of pleasure than anything else. There is discomfort as well, yes, a burning and a stinging that swells as he fills you. You try to keep it from your face; still, Aegon can read the pain there like black ink on pages.

He shakes his head and murmurs: “Stop, stop, I’m hurting you.”

“I want it. I can take it.”

He’s kissing your lips, your cheek, the slope of your jaw. “Give yourself time to adjust. There’s no rush, Angel. I’m not going anywhere.”

You wait until the pain seems to have vanished, then—carefully, tentatively—you rise up and lower yourself again. Yes, there’s definite pleasure now, less sharp than where he touched you before but deeper, more total. You try this again, again, faster now. Aegon’s breath hitches. He’s trembling; sweat glistens on his forehead and dampens his hair.

“I’m going to show you something,” he pants. “But you have to help me out.”

“Help how…?”

“Tell me what I’m doing right.” His fingers are on you again, pressing, circling. And there’s something about this combination of two very different colors of pleasure—dull fullness inside, intense ecstasy dancing over the skin—that lights a spark in you like striking flint.

You cry out, your pace as you ride him quickening, any last remnants of pain banished to distant memory. You are conscious now that you are working towards a peak of some sort; you can feel it building in you like fire in the mouth of a dragon.

Aegon asks: “Faster? Slower?”

“Faster,” you reply, and his hand obeys. You moan, fingers knotted in his hair and lips against the scar tissue of his throat, grisly webs that you cherish for knitting him back together, for saving his life.

“Harder or softer?”

“Harder,” you beg him in a whisper. And all at once, the pleasure is overwhelming, unstoppable, incomparable to anything you’ve ever experienced or ever wanted to, anything you thought was possible, anything you believed you were worthy of. It wrenches everything out of you, desire as well as turmoil, every thought in your skull and fear in your bones. It passes, leaving your heart thumping violently and an involuntary throbbing that squeezes Aegon’s cock, releases it, squeezes it again.

Aegon lays you down on your back and thrusts into you, shallowly at first to make sure you’re alright, then deeper and more powerfully. There’s no pain at all, only a hazy calmness, a need to be near to him, to tangle up closer and closer until you share everything, veins and arteries and the capillary beds of lungs. He’s exhausted already; you notice a few needle-thin split seams in his scar tissue. There are faint stains of crimson blood on your belly, your chest. His fingers link through yours, his moans grow louder and more jagged. He comes so hard tears spring into his eyes, and you feel one more thing you hadn’t expected to: not vulnerability but power, pride, satisfaction.

“It’s like that every time?” you ask, drowsy and amazed as he rolls onto his side and pulls you against him. The rain is still falling outside. Lightning paints the windows; thunder quakes them.

“If it’s done well.” Aegon is pink-faced, breathing heavily, staggeringly beautiful. “See? Nothing to be afraid of.”

“No wonder you’ve fucked hundreds of women.”

He laughs. “Not that many.” He grins as he kisses you, brushing your hair back from your face. “You’ve rid me of them all. You’ve burned them away.”

“I love you,” you say without planning to.

Aegon replies, but not in words you can understand. He whispers something in High Valyrian, his eyes dip closed, he is asleep before you can ask him what it means.

#aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen #aegon ii #aegon targaryen ii #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon x reader #aegon ii x you #aegon ii x y/n #aegon ii targaryen x reader #aegon ii x reader

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princessfbi · 21 days

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Cuddling with caretaker in a warm shower/bath + buddie

Buck shuddered against him, making the water ripple around them in tiny waves against the porcelain of the tub. The smallest of whimpers croaked past dry swollen lips and Eddie shushed the noise as it puffed against the hollow skin of his throat.

“I know, baby,” he said, dipping the washcloth into the water before squeezing it at the base of Buck’s shoulders so the water would cascade down his spine.

Eddie had tried to talk Buck into letting him stay out on the side so he could have the complete space of the tub for his long limbs to curl into. But one choked plea and a pair of red rimmed, exhausted blue eyes had had Eddie stripping off his clothes and joining him. Buck had barely let Eddie get situated before he turned on his front and curled into Eddie’s chest, shivering from the fever induced chill that had been wrecking his system for over forty-eight hours.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Buck so sick. Worry had prickled under his skin and latched on with nettles so he couldn’t shake it off, practically drawing blood the longer and longer Buck’s fever raged on.

At least he wasn’t heaving though. Not that Eddie thought he could. Buck had barely been able to stand let alone work up the bile and empty air and the very few sips of water he’d managed to get down.

His stomach, however, hadn’t seemed to get the picture.

Every chance Buck drifted off to sleep had been interrupted with a whine and a curl of his body. He’d thought the hot bath would help. Or, if anything, would allow Buck’s body to unclench so he wasn’t in so much pain!

It had worked for a while. Eddie’s butt had gone numb and the water lukewarm that he’d had to add some more hot water by stretching up to the turn the faucet with his toe. But Buck had relaxed against his chest and hid his too cold nose against the base of Eddie’s throat. Eddie had kept up his ministrations, trickling water down his back and sweeping his hands so he could give him just a little bit of warmth; so he could take the pain away for just a little bit longer. Eventually, Buck had drifted and if he hadn’t been asleep then he’d at least gotten close. Eddie would’ve happily stayed there for ever.

Buck twitched against him and Eddie braced himself for the worst of it. His arm was half way out of the tub to grab the trash can he’d pulled over before they got in. Eddie locked down the panic in his throat that wanted to claw its way to his heart with all the racing thoughts in his head.

No. No please. He can’t keep doing this. He needs these fluids. He’s already suffered enough. Please. Please. Please!

He’d promised Buck no hospital but that creeping realization that the very real possibility that he may have to break that promise very soon was getting closer and closer each second Buck didn’t get better.

Buck pressed his face into the hollow of Eddie’s throat, stiffening like he was frozen in time, and Eddie waited.

There wasn’t much else he could do. Not without IVs and people with more medical knowledge than he had under his belt.

But then Buck sighed and he sagged further into Eddie’s as the water shifted around them.

Eddie pressed a kiss against Buck’s head and dunked the washcloth back into the water.

“It’s okay,” Eddie said as he curled an arm around Buck and squeezed out the water over Buck’s spine. Buck whimpered again as he burrowed impossibly close and settled deeper into Eddie’s hold. “It’s okay.”

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #my fic writing #Buddie fic #writing talk #prompt game #royal decree #hatamighijyab

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 19 days

Text

tuesday again 4/23/22

three months unemployed YAY. also wherein i get SUPER pressed about star wars lore

listening

funeral by tele novella. popped open tiktok to see something my best friend sent me and this was there, the first thing on the for you page. let's yoink a description of their previous album from an interview i'm going to quote at length in a bit: "The result was “exactly what we wanted it to be,” a perfumed mist of jingling, jangling, lilting, off-center pop—a strange little snowglobe gathering dust at the back of the shelf."

youtube

the lyrics did hit me like a train bc i often find myself mourning places and situations that were not necessarily good for me but were familiar.

Oh, you're not tied up Here comes the train The tracks feel safe because you know 'em

if you had told me this was made in about 2007-2009ish i would have believed you. very spare production in the way folksier songs of the time were spare. a bit raspy and direct in her delivery. there's a bandcamp interview wherein i found out this is the side project of a vintage/antiques dealer and she has a fascinating perspective on her own music:

Her passion for the craft is evident—in our conversation as much as in listening to the band—but music, for her, is a means to an end, a way to transmit stories. “As a musician, I’m mediocre at best,” Ribbons says matter-of-factly. “I think that my talent lies in my storytelling ability. I think that I’m a good storyteller.” It’s something instilled in her by her grandparents, “voracious readers” who were always buying her books and secretly wanted Ribbons to be a writer, she suspects.

i really adored this whole album as a cohesive work. "vampire cowgirl" is another standout for obvious reasons.

youtube

You came barrelin' down Rabid with some talk Of a gal who rides at night Picking off the stock

remarkably good at reproducing the general vibe of the midcentury cowboy western album, when tv cowboys were sweeping the nation

reading

T. Kingfisher's Nettle & Bone. enjoyed it, but not quite as much as her other stuff. whereas her other series are almost always comical and often stray into farce, this one was a bit grim. even with the addition of a demonic chicken. had to stop and really think about if my own experience with funerals and funerary rites (too many, too often) was coloring this for me but i think it is simply not as funny or interested in being funny as her other works. not a ding against it, but not what i was really expecting or in the mood for. image from tor, let's yoink the description from macmillan

This isn't the kind of fairy tale where the princess marries a prince. It's the one where she kills him. Marra — a shy, convent-raised, third-born daughter — is relieved not to be married off for the sake of her parents’ throne. Her older sister wasn’t so fortunate though, and her royal husband is as abusive as he is powerful. From the safety of the convent, Marra wonders who will come to her sister’s rescue and put a stop to this. But after years of watching their families and kingdoms pretend all is well, Marra realizes if any hero is coming, it will have to be Marra herself. If Marra can complete three impossible tasks, a witch will grant her the tools she needs. But, as is the way in stories of princes and the impossible, these tasks are only the beginning of Marra’s strange and enchanting journey to save her sister and topple a throne.

paywalled article, sorry, but i personally have a bone to pick with fanduel due to [REDACTED INCIDENTS] from [PREVIOUS JOB] so it does not surprise me in the slightest that they don't really seem to be doing a single fucking thing about money-laundering. allegedly.

watching

the bad batch, or the 13/16 episodes of the third and final season that are out. all these images are from comicbookreview bc i watched this on my actual television

one of the plots i hate most is the trying to get someone back plot. for example, i think finding nemo does this really well bc it's also a coming of age/parenting movie. i do not think the second finding nemo movie does this well bc as soon as one person is reunited with the group, through a wacky series of coincidences they lose another member. plus that movie is part of the downturn of modern pixar where they forgot how to tell interesting stories but that's neither here nor there. the bad batch falls into the finding nemo 2 category. it's simply frustrating to watch. it turns into a desperate floundering after whoever happens to be missing instead of using a The Searchers style plot to say something about the act of the search itself. i realize i am once again saying "what if star wars was good" but like. come on.

the bad batch s3 is surprisingly focused on retroactively filling in the backstory of how and why palpatine got cloned with his force powers intact, which is apparently a difficult technical problem. i would have cared about this if this show came out before the last movie and we had a cool breadcrumb style approach leading up to the movie. unfortunately that movie (and the sequel trilogy more broadly) killed a lot of my interest in modern star wars. anyway, this cloning problem leads to a lot of very technical conversations in a children's' show that are interesting to me, a grownup, bc no star wars media has ever successfully explained 1) what midichlorians actually are and 2) the biological processes by which they operate but refuse to be cloned? which is extremely funny to me bc midicholrians aren't supposed to be real. qui-gon has that whole little speech and blood test in the phantom menace but the series had So scrupulously stayed away from explaining how the force works before that. they still fail to explain it but they at least attempt to break two inches of new ground. side note this show gives us TWO canon trans girl clones and i really wish they were in a better show.

it's annoying that i'm annoyed about a children's show meant to sell toys. some fun things: the pyke syndicate shows up, a slew of my favorite bounty hunters show up, this show is much better at painterly backgrounds and has an overall more concept-art feel than the clone wars proper or rebels. i think it would be cool if they stopped whitewashing the clones. i'm going to finish out the season but i don't exactly have a lot going on in my life right now. i am not terribly sad that this is the final season but BOY do they have a lot of loose ends to wrap up in three episodes.

playing

new genshin update on uhhh thursday and it's kind of exciting bc i THINK it will finally fill in this hole on the map and the associated shorelines of three different countries!

i thought i had long since found all the chests in liyue (the second area released) but in the process of doing a recently released character quest set in liyue i found another chest. this game is very good at hidden objectives and little secrets but i wish it was better at letting you know when you have Actually cleared an area completely of all the little hidden stuff. anyway i have been holding back the last character hangout (ningguang, my best beloved ruthless girlboss business high femme) for a terrible day and that day came! unfortunately hanging out with the fake pretend video game lesbian did make me feel better!

also unfortunately i fucked up and cannot count so the gacha pity system (every 90 pulls you're guaranteed a 5-star character) gave me Neuvillette. who i don't hate but i wasn't really planning on pulling for. i do like his questline and his voice actor, he simply doesn't fit in super well with a mono-electro team bc i play this game like an insane woman.

the real bitch of the thing keeping me from upgrading him is going out in the overworld and collecting enough sea stars. why can't he need flowers or little gears or anything else i have a thousand of.

anyway this gal will be dropping sometime in the next six weeks and i AM extremely excited to pull for her. she has some cool abilities (GUN) and is part of a popular pair with the steampunk lolita character i love and leads my other main team. i hope their abilities play well off each other but she has such a cool storyline and design i don't super care if she fits in with my playstyle. i will adapt for her in a way i am not willing to do with neuvilette

making

i am once again obsessed with gallery walls, bc a friend has asked me to find the correct gigantic size frames to put some comics on his wall, and that has given me an excuse to go to thrift stores again.

unfortunately i have mostly found frames for me, and the projects i have been working on have kind of a long tail of when they will actually be on my walls. i picked up four 16x20 frames for $2.50 each (solid wood! remarkably detailed!) bc i eventually want to put up these fallout maps in the style of national parks maps up on the map wall in my office. i suppose this means i should join @ruffledringdove and actually play '76, bc that's the one modern game i haven't played. these are getting scuff sanded with 120 and painted with a eggshell paint sample in a bright white u all know the drill at this point. ive painted a lot of frames in the past few weeks.

left is one of the painted 16x20 map frames, right i have also finally sanded and painted both 12x16 deckle-edged wood frames i picked up off the side of the road in MA. and found glass + backs for them! eventually i will procure fancy mats and print + frame my grandmothers' portraits. they will eventually go on the living room wall, which is a neutrals and blue-greens wall of slightly disdainful women. this will help me swap the three maps in there to the office map wall.

i have also acquired this gigantic plaster-over-wood mirror for $15. i am using leftover rub n buff bc i don't have a great spot to spraypaint here without sheeting my entire front porch, and rub n buff is way less susceptible to 80% humidity than spray paint. also i would have to buy spray paint. i am looking up suspiciously bc i thought there was a bug. not sure what mackie was looking at.

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk · 9 months

Text

The Bargain (ao3)

People whisper about the god that lives in the forest, that grants wishes to the desolate and the desperate, but when Nesta Archeron takes it upon herself to enter the forest and ask the god to save her family, she gets much more than she bargained for. (For @cassianappreciationweek day 4)

In the darkness, something cracked.

Something snapped beneath her feet, and in the thin shafts of moonlight that broke through the stretching, reaching branches of the trees overhead, she caught sight of the forest floor, littered with sticks and stones— with things that glowed white, luminescent in the dark. Things that might have been teeth, might have been bones.

A shiver crawled down her spine, a cold touch that was light and terrible and enough to make her shudder. There was another crack, another splinter in the silence, and somehow the forest seemed to grow denser, the woods pressing in on all sides. The darkness was a shroud, thick and cloying and almost impenetrable, and yet still Nesta walked— one determined foot in front of another. The branches caught on her cloak as she went, like aged and crooked fingers— snatching, grasping, hungry.

Still— she walked, her stomach aching with hunger and her bones aching with cold. In her hand she clutched her mother’s iron pendant so hard it left marks in the soft skin of her palm, its bite a reminder, a warning. She hoped it would protect her— hoped it would save her. As she took each misbegotten step, inching her way deeper and deeper into the dark swell of trees where only the truly desperate dared venture, she recited her mother’s old warnings, too.

Always wear iron, Mama had said when Nesta was young. Hang rowan by the door. Never enter into a bargain with a stranger, and remember— the fae can’t lie.

Nesta had them memorised, clung to them as animal eyes glinted at her through the trees.

She shuddered. Monsters lurked in these woods— everyone knew that.

But the baker’s boy had told her of an altar hidden deep within, where the lost go to pray. The blacksmith’s wife had been so desperate for a babe, the boy had said, that she’d made the trip in the dark, when the moon was full. She’d found the altar and laid out an offering, begged on her knees for the gods to answer her prayers. Two months later, she knew she was with child. The baker’s boy had whispered it as Nesta had pleaded with him for his last loaf of bread, bartered for it with the last coin they had. The gods live there, he’d said, handing over a small, half-burnt loaf. They take pity on those who dare to find their alter— on the cold and the desperate and the hungry.

Nesta was all of those things.

And so she walked— through a blackness so thick she stumbled over tree roots breaking through the earth, through the branches that scraped her skin and the nettles that clawed her ankles as if in warning, bitter warning— an omen, not to take another step. Through the old graveyard, past the ivy devouring old tombstones; names and dates worn to dust. Vines snagged underfoot and yet still she walked, unable to face one more sunrise in the crumbling cottage she called home— unable to sit around an empty table with her sisters and their father, with empty plates and an empty hearth. It was dangerous, to go alone into a darkened forest filled with monsters, but dangerous too, to sit at home and starve. Maybe the gods would take pity on her. Maybe they’d listen to her.

After what felt like hours of walking, finally the forest thinned.

She emerged into a clearing bathed in the white light of the moon, and in the centre stood the ruins of a temple. Cold grey stone shone almost luminous beneath the starlight, and broken arches and vaulted ceilings spoke to a lost grandeur, a beauty in decay. Still it towered above her, walls stretching skywards even as they crumbled, and as Nesta stepped over the fallen stones that littered the clearing, she found the three steps that led to the remains of a door— beneath a sweeping, curved archway that might once have been grand.

And inside…

There was an altar.

In that, at least, the stories had been true,

A great slab of whitened stone, worn smooth with age, sat in the middle of the ruin, open to the air. The roof had collapsed, leaving the temple exposed to the elements, and a fine layer of moss coated the debris that lay abandoned, almost forgotten. Only almost— because Nesta spied the offerings left, clustered at the base of that alter. Pomegranates and flower petals were left scattered, coins and jewellery and all the tokens left behind by the desolate. Nesta felt unconsciously for the bag hung over her shoulder, carrying her own meagre offerings. She’d brought some wildflowers that Elain had grown, along with one of their father’s little wooden carvings. He couldn’t make any money with his work, but perhaps the little carved bat might be enough to earn the mercy of whatever deity lived inside these woods— called this deserted temple home.

A soft breeze ran through the ruins as Nesta kneeled by that altar, and a chill ran through her as she delved into her bag and pulled out the flowers, carefully wrapped in a length of cotton she’d cut off the bottom of an old dress. The scent was sweet, and even though the stems were a little crumpled, the petals were intact, all muted pinks and purples in the low light. She breathed it in, almost saccharine in the darkness of the temple, and willed herself to think of sunlight and bright places as she pulled out the tiny wooden bat next, setting it down on the white stone of the altar steps. It was stark against it, and as another - colder, much more ominous - breeze brushed the back of her neck, Nesta swallowed. Her every nerve screeched to a half as ice clustered along her spine, freezing the air in her lungs. The silence in temple shifted, making her hair stand on end, and that breeze didn’t feel pleasant, didn’t feel natural. Still, she forced her hands to steady as she set about arranging the flowers on the altar, surrounding the little wooden bat. She kept her eyes down, but she knew, somehow, that she wasn’t alone— that someone, or something, was watching her from the shadows.

Tentatively, Nesta looked up.

Her fingers stilled over the petals, her hand trembling. Behind the altar, close to the ruined temple walls, there was a shadow. A large shadow, lurking in the dark corners the moonlight couldn’t reach— the corners the light seemed to shy away from. She heard the whisper of a breath, saw a glint of silver, and as Nesta’s heart began to race hard in her chest, the last of Elain’s flowers dropped from her fingers, lying in the dust as the shadow moved.

It was nothing but a shifting of the darkness, a movement so smooth it was imperceptible, but as Nesta fixed her eyes on that dark, dark corner…

Footsteps sounded against the stone, slow and steady and purposeful, and she caught the scent of cinnamon and leather and something… other, carried to her on that strange breeze. It was something like petrichor, like the earth after a heavy rain— something ancient, something dark, that made her think of tales and myths and legends, something that made her every hair stand on end.

Was this the deity rumoured to live in these woods?

Was he here to bless her— to grant her wish?

The shape in the darkness emerged slowly from the shadows, becoming more discernible, and still Nesta kneeled. She looked up, tried to see the god’s face, but the darkness still masked it so completely that all she could see was a broad outline. It was vaguely human— she could see two arms, two legs, but nothing else. A dark hum echoed on the stone, deep and low and entirely male, and it had something inside her coiling tight, a shiver running through her as the sound skittered across her skin. It was smooth and dark and weighted somehow, decadent, and it had her looking up, searching in vain for his face, desperate to find his eyes… but he was still cloaked by the dark, and as that hum died away, an echo fading into nothing, something stirred inside her. Some ancient instinct began to awaken, some primal sense that something was… wrong here.

He took another step, a single move that resounded on the stone.

The silence was suffocating, pressing, and still the god hid his face, lingering in the shadows until Nesta was convinced he was borne of them, at one with the dark. She couldn’t speak, the words trapped in her throat, and as her heart pounded in her chest, unease sluicing through her, the god took another deliberate step forwards, purposefully slow and almost mockingly meandering, as if he had all the time in the world.

Nesta knew then that he was toying with her— playing with her, with the fear that hammered through her veins. She thought she heard a low chuckle, but it was stolen by the wind, and as a shaft of moonlight at last touched the edges of that shadow…

A talon glinted in the silver light, right above his shoulders.

Brutally sharp, it shone like an onyx and Nesta knew, suddenly, that this wasn’t a deity at all.

He took another step forward, and Nesta could suddenly make out wings spreading behind his shoulders, as black as the night itself. The great membranous things stretched out, and the scream got caught in her throat as she blinked, her heart thundering and her breath falling short. She couldn’t move, couldn’t look away, and oh, his face. Her mouth turned dry as she watched the moonlight filter across sharp cheekbones, glinting in eyes that gleamed with menace. She took in the swell of his mouth, generous lips parting as he gave her a wicked smirk, and her skin erupted in gooseflesh, something inside her seeming to shrink, to shirk, as she felt his presence swallowing the space between them, devouring it. The air began to thrum, and Nesta’s pulse raced as warning bells begun to ring and ring and ring out in her head, clamouring and clanging through her as every single sense she had begged her to run.

“You’re not a god,” she whispered.

Her voice was a whisper in the darkness, soft on old stone. The creature took another step forward, all predatory grace and terrifying, rugged beauty, and suddenly he was close enough to reach out and touch the flowers she’d left scattered across the altar.

“No, sweetheart,” he said, in a voice so delectably smooth that Nesta could almost feel it melting into her skin. He ran one long fingertip across Elain’s petals before lifting his head. His lips curved into a menacing smirk, making her shiver as he tilted his head and added, slowly, “I’m better.”

His lips split, revealing rows of white teeth— elongated canines, so sharp they could sink through skin as easily as a hot knife through butter. He was grinning now, in a way that threatened to devour her, and though fear ran rampant through Nesta’s chest, she found herself frozen on the steps of his altar, unable to run, unable to look away.

He was beautiful.

Monstrously, terrifyingly beautiful.

“Pretty,” he murmured, dragging his thumb across the petals she’d left— but his eyes weren’t on the flowers. They were on her, on her face. His gaze dropped to her lips, hungry as that smirk continued to curve a mouth crafted of pure sin, and Nesta felt her heart kick an unsteady beat as she studied him.

Dark eyes looked back at her, reflecting the silver light of the moon. Equally dark hair hung in waves to his shoulders, framing a face so ruggedly handsome Nesta almost thought it was a pity that he lived in the woods. A scar cut through his eyebrow, but his bronze skin was otherwise smooth. She swallowed again, taking in the bulk of him, the languid spread of muscle that corded his arms, his chest. He was wearing a simple black tunic but it clung to his chest, leaving little to the imagination. He tilted his head, almost cat-like, and as his hair fell forwards, Nesta caught sight of his ears. They rose to a sharp point, small tufts of fur crowning the tips. Silver glinted there, a chain earring crossing that pointed tip, shining almost sinister in the dark. He was the most brutal and beautiful thing she’d ever seen, and as his broad hands stroked the petals of Elain’s flowers, she knew that he could break her neck in a heartbeat if he wanted.

Fae, she thought, suddenly cold all over. He’s fae.

“Tell me, love,” he purred. “What brings someone like you out into the deep, dark wood on a night like this?”

Nesta swallowed. “Isn’t this your shrine?” she asked, looking at the offerings left. The creature snorted and rounded the alter, suddenly close enough to brush her skin with one of those large hands, those fingers that might have been claws.

“No,” he answered. “But perhaps it could be.” He hummed again, low and dangerous, the sound seeming louder than it should, echoing on the expanse of empty, desecrated stone. “Perhaps it should be.”

“Why are you here then?” Nesta asked sharply, and distantly she realised it was probably incredibly stupid to be rude to a creature that could kill her with no effort at all but— she had walked for so long in the hopes that she would find a god to answer her prayers, and all she’d found was an empty sanctuary and a creature that looked like he might devour her.

The smile he gave her was cruel and cunning, chilling her blood even as his beauty threatened to steal her breath. Those wickedly sharp teeth bit down into his bottom lip as he dragged his gaze over her, assessing. His wings flared, sharp talons winking in the moonlight, and when he blinked, it was with all the practiced study of a predator sizing up its prey. She was nothing but a rabbit to this creature— a doe that had wandered too far into the dark parts of the forest.

He didn’t answer her question.

Instead, the creature plucked up the little wooden bat, stroking one long finger over its wings.

“You need something,” he observed. “Perhaps I can give it to you.”

Nesta hesitated.

It was a moment of reckless stupidity, a moment that could cost her her life— you didn’t make a deal with the fae, everybody knew that. But she was desperate, and well…

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

In the silence, she could hear the wind drifting through the ruins of the temple, whistling through crumbling arches. Her heart stuttered. She had come in the hopes of finding somebody to answer her prayers, and though this creature wasn’t at all what she’d been looking for… perhaps he would do for now.

Slowly, she asked, “what would you want in exchange?”

He dropped the bat back onto the altar, against the bed of flower petals. He waved a hand.

“Oh, nothing you won’t want to give.”

“You’re going to have to be more specific,” Nesta said curtly, and he laughed— so loudly the sound bounced on the cracked and broken stone.

“Well, aren’t you a fiery little thing.” He laughed again, and in a blink he had moved closer, so close that he was right beside her now, towering above where she remained on her knees. She hadn’t even seen him move, but he was there nonetheless, almost pressed against her, and before she could move away, he dropped into a crouch beside her.

“I like it,” he added in a low murmur.

Nesta felt her blood rise to her cheeks, her breathing become laboured. She should be running, should be screaming, and yet… she didn’t have it in her to rise to her feet, to draw away from the creature with the wings and sharp teeth and piercing eyes.

“I’ll give you whatever you want, princess,” he continued. “All I want from you is one word in return.”

“…A word?”

He hummed again, rising to his feet in one smooth, lethal movement. He extended a hand to bring her up too, an assortment of rings glinting on his fingers. She wondered if they had been offerings once, too. If he had plucked them from the altar as easily as he now looked to pluck her, his fingers stretching towards hers in a silent offer that Nesta knew she shouldn’t take.

She hesitated.

He grinned, teeth gleaming sharp and wicked, his hand lingering in the space between them for a moment more before—

Nesta took it.

His fingers curled around hers, her hand so small within his own. It dwarfed her, made her feel as though her life were the most fragile thing in the world, the most tremulous and brittle piece of glass. She forced herself to remain calm, steady, and his dark eyes glimmered. With mischief or something darker, she wasn’t sure.

“Just one little word,” he promised smoothly, squeezing her fingers within his palm— like he owned her already, had laid claim to a piece of her soul.

Nesta frowned. “Any word?”

He shook his head, dark hair falling over his forehead as he did. The talons at his back winked, and when he tilted his head to the side, he looked more like an animal than anything even remotely human. Like a cat, his eyes glinted in the darkness, green and gold when the moonlight touched them.

“No, sweetheart. A word of my choosing.”

“What could you possibly want with that?”

He grinned again, a smile that said he would ruin her. Trepidation crawled through her, her blood turning sluggish in her veins, and he didn’t answer her question.

Never enter into a bargain with a stranger.

Her mother’s warning rang through her, a warning bell, but Nesta shook her head and chased it away. Mama was gone— dead, long ago. Papa might as well be gone too, with all the effort he made to keep them alive, and with Feyre out hunting in the forest for their meals, there was nothing Nesta could do to make sure they didn’t have to spend one more night in that cottage. If a bargain with this creature would save them— she’d pay the price, whatever it was.

Still, she hesitated.

“You can’t lie,” she said carefully, remembering her mother’s warnings. “So tell me— is this a trick?”

The creature only smiled in the darkness, that generous mouth parting in a slash of white, wicked teeth. The fae can’t lie— she’d had it drilled into her since before she could walk. The fae can’t lie. She held onto it now, clutched it like it might keep her safe as the creature before her, this false god, looked at her with eyes that suddenly seemed… hungry.

“Can’t I?” he purred, his voice a low rumble through the night. He tilted his head, cat-eyes sparking like embers. “Tell me, sweetheart. Who’s been filling that pretty little head with such tales?”

He laughed then, and ice bloomed in her chest, spreading until every inch of her was cold. His eyes dragged over her, and she felt every place his attention lingered. Over her neck, her collarbone, down her arms until he reached her waist. Something thawed— something heated, the ice within her turning warm and curling deep in her stomach as those predatory eyes lingered, snagged at her hips.

“So you can lie?” she asked, her voice hard even as she began to feel a little breathless. He grinned again.

“Now that would be telling, wouldn’t it?”

Silence followed, where he looked at her with that predatory gaze. Nesta had always been stubborn, always been able to hold her own with her sharp tongue and sharper nature, but now she felt like little more than a mouse writhing beneath the claws of a wolf. He grinned still, revealing the teeth all too equipped to tear her apart.

But as she turned her face away, her eyes alighted on Elain’s flower petals.

“What word?” she asked.

The creature tsked, dragging a thumb across his lips as his eyes turned molten in the darkness. “Ah, ah.” He shook his head. “Not before you agree.”

“So I’m supposed to go into this blind?” Nesta asked flatly, and though wariness still cloaked her like a second skin, the fear was beginning to subside, beginning to be replaced by… something else. His teeth shone white through the black, sharp and menacing and oh, so delectably dangerous.

“Not blind,” he said with a shrug. The movement shifted the wings behind him, catching in the moonlight and reflecting silver on those sharp, sharp talons. “You know exactly what I want from you. A word.”

“But not what word.”

The beast shrugged again. “Life is full of surprises sweetheart. You can’t ever know everything. That would leave no place for…” He grinned, his eyes sparking as he looked at her like he was about to eat her alive. She felt his attention, his gaze like a physical touch he dragged languid over every single inch of her. “…Fun.”

Silence followed— one where the world seemed entirely too quiet, not even the trees rustling in the breeze, like nature itself was holding its breath, waiting to see which way she would fall. The creature in the darkness was so close— he was all she could see, all she could hear, all she could breathe, and he was like the most potent kind of poison, the most delicious. She was losing her mind, slowly falling into madness, but he smiled at her, and Nesta felt something inside her shiver, but not at all from fear this time.

“Tell me princess,” he murmured. “Are you going to take my offer, or are you going to break my heart and turn me down?”

His smile was menacing, feral. Nesta scowled.

“Do you even have a heart?”

He tipped his head forward, lips brushing her ear. “Why don’t you come closer and find out?”

Her heart stuttered, and she drew back an inch. It was impossible to come closer— he was so close to her already, she could feel his heat. But she couldn’t go back to that cottage— she couldn’t go back and watch her sister starve. She could embrace death here, in his arms, feeling its bite as he sank his claws into her skin, or she could meet her end in that cottage, slow and drawn out and aching as starvation took them all. Either way, Nesta figured, she would end up damned— so she swallowed, steeled herself, and found her resolve.

“Alright,” she said at last. “Alright.”

Cat-eyes glinted through the dark, a low hum reverberating through his chest and echoing in Nesta’s very bones as he dipped his head, the tip of his nose brushing her jaw. There was a scrape of teeth, a hand winding possessively around her waist as he stepped behind her.

“What is it that you want from me then, princess?” he asked, his mouth at her throat. “What have you come to take?”

“I don’t want my family to starve,” she began slowly, ignoring the hand that splayed over her stomach, drifting towards her hips. Beneath his teeth, her pulse fluttered. “I want my father’s lost ships to be found, with all his treasure and gold intact. I want us to be able to leave that cottage in the woods and live the way we did before, with no need to worry about where our next meal will be coming from. I want…” She paused, swallowed. “I don’t ever want to go back to that cottage again.”

She looked up over her shoulder and saw the creature grin, an almost feral look in his eyes. A hollow feeling spread in her chest, and briefly Nesta wondered if she ought to have been more careful with her wording— if she not had just unwittingly signed away her soul. She watched his wings spread behind him, so large she feared he was going to enclose her in them and suffocate her, but after a moment he closed them again, tucking them back against his spine, and when he looked at her Nesta forgot that she was supposed to be afraid.

“Done,” he purred.

Nesta blinked— as if it were that simple, all of their troubles erased, just like that. She let out a breath of relief, feeling it wash over her as she turned to face him, studying the lines of him that melted into the darkness. In her hand, she still held her mother’s pendant, the one she’d been clutching tight ever since she’d left the cottage.

“And now for my half of the bargain,” he whispered, and his voice set her on edge, made her hair stand on end. Using one broad hand, he dragged his touch across her neck, over her collarbone, claws at her neck edging pain with the most beautiful kind of pleasure. Shivers erupted in his wake as he brushed her hair back over her shoulder, baring more of her skin, and Nesta felt herself grow dizzy. She should run— should have been running ever since he’d opened his mouth and spoken, but she couldn’t move.

Didn’t want to move.

Something about him was alluring, drawing her to him, and she didn’t know if it was some spell he’d worked on her or whether it was just something about him that spoke to her— the way he looked at her like he appreciated her sharp tongue and stubborn nature.

“Just one word,” he said, his voice deep and low and seductive.

“What word?” she asked once more, tipping her head back as his thumb skated up from her collarbone and rested beneath her jaw. He smirked again, dipping his head to whisper against her skin. With warm lips he pressed a kiss to her jaw, dragging his mouth up to her ear. She shivered, and one large hand came to rest at her waist, a firm presence that held her in place. Almost unconsciously she leaned into it, her chest brushing his as he let out a low rumble of approval, of appreciation.

“Tell me your name, princess.”

“That’s what you want from me?” she asked, breathless as his hand began to skate over her hips. With those lethally sharp teeth, he nipped lightly at her ear. She let out a small whimper, but as a warmth ignited deep within, she couldn’t say for certain that it was a sound of pain rather than pleasure.

“No, that’s not the word I want,” he said idly, almost lazily, as his tongue danced across her neck. “But I’d like to have it all the same.”

And Nesta knew she should have lied, should have given him a false name, but she found herself opening her mouth as his hand went to the small of her back, pulling her more fully against him as she breathed,

“Nesta.”

“Nesta,” he repeated, his thumb rubbing circles along her spine. His other hand was still at her hip, but he grew daring, drifting lower with a touch so maddening Nesta understood, now, why there were so many warnings of the fair folk. He was going to be the death of her, and when he slowly bit down once more on the skin beneath her ear, Nesta fought back a moan, and the hand that she’d had clenched ever since she arrived suddenly slackened. The iron pendant she’d held onto like a lifeline tumbled to the ground, and against her skin she felt him smirk.

“You won’t be needing that,” he whispered.

Once more, a bolt of caution ran through her. He was fae, a monster lurking in the woods, but still Nesta didn’t leave, and as he kissed his way down her neck, his hands bunched in the fabric of her dress, she found she really didn’t want to run, as stupid and as reckless as it was. She wanted to let him carry on kissing her, wanted to find herself drunk on the pleasure he could give her, and as she tilted her head back even further, he hummed again.

“Good girl,” he said as she melted into him, the angle of her neck giving him better access as his teeth scraped across the skin at her throat.

A breathless, disbelieving laugh left her as she looked up at the sky littered with stars. Her hands came to rest on his wide chest, hard and firm beneath her fingers.

“What word?” she asked again.

He nipped at her skin once more, his hands finding the hem of her skirt and dipping beneath, fingertips ghosting over the bare skin of her legs, her thighs. She gasped.

“Yes.”

Nesta blinked, swallowed. Some of the elation, the ecstasy, dimmed as she shook her head.

“I don’t understand,” she managed, but her breathing was more laboured than ever, because she was pressed so fully against him that he engulfed her, and his hands were at her thighs, his teeth at her neck, and his wings had spread above them, blocking out the sky above.

“I’m going to ask you a question,” he said lowly, his voice almost sultry. “And you will say yes. That’s the bargain.”

Nesta blinked again, but something other than horror ran through her— in the places where fear should be, in the gaps between terror, there was something else, something distinctly different, something thrilling. Even though her stomach twisted and her heartbeat tripped, she looked up into those luminous eyes, caught sight of the talons and the wings and the lightly-furred ears, and found herself nodding.

“You said you don’t ever want to go back to that cottage. I have made it so.” He pulled back just enough so that she could see his face in the moonlight, his devastating smirk. “I will take you away from here and make you mine. Neither you nor your family will want for anything again if I take you here and now, if I claim you as mine. All you have to do is fulfil your half— let that one word fall from those pretty little lips.”

“Why?” Nesta breathed.

“Because,” he said simply. “I want to keep you.” His head dipped to her neck again, teeth grazing across her skin. “Let me have you.”

And Nesta thought of the cottage waiting for her— and the life waiting for her when the cottage was gone. She thought of the dreary life set out, winding before her, the one her mother had wanted— balls and society gatherings and polite conversation that would kill her soul long before death stopped her heart. And then she turned her attention to the monster in the dark, the stretching wings and sharp talons and pointed ears with soft patches of fur. She looked at his big hands and long fingers, almost like claws, and all of it belonging to a creature with a face so beautiful it made her heart ache.

“Let me have you,” he repeated, bringing his mouth lower.

Nesta couldn’t catch her breath, but she let herself lean more fully into his arms, letting him take her weight entirely. He hummed, satisfied, and the sound of it rumbled through her. His hands wandered, finding their way back to her hips, down— dipping once more beneath her skirts. Her skin suddenly felt tight, too hot, and when those damned claws dragged over sensitive flesh, her breathing stopped, her mind emptied. His hands rose higher, her back arched, and at her neck his breath danced, his lips pressing against the curve where her neck met her shoulder.

“Let me have you,” he said once more. “Let me keep you.”

His fingers skirted the very centre of her, right where she was suddenly aching, burning. He hummed against her once more, a sound of approval as she pressed against his chest, and oh gods— he was overpowering, overwhelming, and her entire world had shrunk, encompassed within the space between his wings. She could practically taste him on the wind, and as his hands grew more daring, roaming across the bare skin beneath her dress and sliding up her stomach, she felt herself falling, felt herself losing whatever grip it was that bound her to reality.

“Nesta,” the beast chided, nipping at her ear. “Answer me.”

And this time, Nesta gasped and breathed at last, a desperate, aching,

“Yes.”

#cassianweek2023 #nessian #monster fae!Cassian is here at last!

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magicaguajiro · 3 months

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La Bóveda: Spiritually Cleansing Yourself and the Altar

Once you and the altar are physically clean, it is important to make sure you are spiritually cleansed. We cleanse to clear ourselves of any energies we may have picked up, to make the space clear of unwanted spirits who may impede our communication and to perfume the space for our spirits. Whatever way you choose to cleanse the altar and yourself is up to you, but it is important that you pray through the whole ritual. I personally like to pray things like Psalm 23, Psalm 7, Alan Kardec’s Books of Selected Prayers, and La Fe en Oracion. You can also pray from your heart or pray pagan prayers if you choose, but I do recommend researching the role Christianity plays in modern folk practices.

If you are just starting out, try using a spiritual cologne like Florida Water or 1800. It is important to cleanse every object that is part of the table. You may also choose to smoke cleanse with Tobacco, Incense, herbs, and resins like frankincense and myrrh. When using Tobacco, you usually will light the end, flip it around and blow, as if the altar is taking the puff. Blow this smoke all over the entire altar once it is complete and the candle is lit and fill the cups with smoke. Don’t burn yourself! Traditionally, a preparation would be made called an Omiero to wipe down the altar. If you want to put some more energy into it, you can choose to do a series of spiritual baths for yourself. These baths won’t just be cute roses and lavender in a milk tub. It will be consecutive days of blessed and charged baths, using 3, 5, 7, 9 or more herbs as well as things like oils, waters, dirts, resins and colognes. Spiritual baths are a great tool to add to a routine if you can figure out a way to incorporate it. Though, as someone with ADHD I know how hard it can be so don’t feel pressured to if other methods suffice for you.

[My Go-To Quick Spiritual Cleanses for Bóveda work. From Left to Right: Rue Water, Blessed Florida Water, water from where the river meets the ocean, and blessed Kolonia 1800]

There are many different types of spiritual baths. It should be noted that working with certain materia is dangerous and should be supplied by a professional or elder. Also, some herbs can harm you spiritually if they are poured on your head, like espanta muerte. Also, most baths will need to be “illuminated” with a candle burned in them. I usually use white tapers or novena candles. The baños used for espiritismo include some called bitter baths and sweet baths. Bitter baths use herbs like espanta muerte, agrimony, pepper, wormwood, and garlic. These baths are designed to clear you of any crossed conditions or evil eye, remove obstacles and steer you on course to your path. After that, a sweet bath using honey, romerillo (shepherd’s nettle), basil (albahaca), abrecamino (road-opener), Hibiscus (marpacifico), and Orange. This is to draw in the correct opportunities for your path as well as to increase your personal ‘magnetism’ in a way. This basically makes you more appealing in all ways, even for money and opportunities. But also for negative entities, so remember to wear protective amulets at this point in the process. Finally, a white bath will be prepared using things like coconut water, goats milk, cascarilla, white rum, florida water, kolonia, and camphor. This serves to enlighten you and make you more sensitive to spirits and energies around you. It also draws your spirits closer to you. You may also choose to fast on occasion during the first three days or the final day of this routine.

It can also be traditional to preform a sweeping, where you take a bundle of fresh herbs or a blessed broom and use them to swat away any energies you don’t want to invade your altar and session. This can be hard to do properly if an altar is already set up, so I would suggest doing this on the days you deep clean the bóveda. It is also important on these days and when doing deeper work and sessions at the altar to cover your head. This closes your energy off, and means to connect to your spirits you have to allow them to tap in.

These are just precautions you have to take when working with the Dead and Disincarnate. In Cuba, the folk magic is inherently tied to the muertos.

Luz y Progreso. 🕯️

#witchcraft #florida #bioregional animism #bruja #brujeria #florida witch #santeria #swamp witch #witch #traditional witchcraft

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tropes-and-tales-archives · 20 days

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More Precious Than Rubies: Part 5a

This is an alternate timeline story that has a Rafael Barba track and a Sonny Carisi track. The two paths split off in part 3.

WC: 5223

TW: Idiots in love; smut (drinking but not impaired; PiV, unprotected). 18+ only.

AN: The prompt was "How about you make me?"

If Barba had been irritated by how much space you were taking up in his head before, he was doubly maddened now. You weren’t just taking up space at this point – you were moved in and living rent free.

Your case load with SVU waxed and waned. Sometimes you had a whole slate of cases against him, and other times he went for stretches without facing off against you. Still, he saw you all the time at the courthouse, and you were usually arguing with some other ADA. Barba usually felt a sting of jealousy when he did. He wondered if you called Niles “Yale Law” or if you smirked at Cox.

He was still nettled by your comment about O’Dwyer being a better ADA than him, even if he was mostly certain that you were just teasing him.

At least you shook his hand after trials now. He had hated it when you’d pointedly ignore him, but it was his own fault for taking a shot at your age by calling you “Girl Wonder.” He knew how hard it could be to be a lawyer fresh off the bar exam, and he assumed it was twice as hard for a baby-faced young woman.

You didn’t seem to mind being called “Fordham Law,” and you always responded with a grin and rejoinder of calling him “Harvard Law.” And you never said it with a sneer – usually, Barba’s opponents used his Ivy League education against him, implying that he was some sort of out-of-touch elite.

----

The New York City Law Association was holding its annual charity event. Barba could think of a million things he’d rather do on a Saturday night other than socialize with other lawyers, but networking was part of his unofficial job duties, and McCoy made it clear that he expected all of his ADAs to attend. Barba put on his tuxedo and got a taxi to Brooklyn.

The only thing that the NYCLA had going for it was its commitment to out-of-the-way and unique venues. The District Attorney’s office stuck with the usual hotel ballrooms for their events, but the NYCLA always found some new place. This year was the New York Transit Museum.

He made his way to the bar and snagged a scotch, then made a quick sweep of the room. He saw some familiar faces but no one he wanted to talk to, so he wandered off to look at some of the exhibits.

There were people milling around and looking at the offerings – the old subway cars, the old maps and photos of the subway construction. Then Barba saw you. You were in a deep oxblood cocktail dress, so dark is was almost black, and your hair was down and loose. You had your back to him, but (he was ashamed to admit), he’d know your ass anywhere.

He strolled over and pretended to look at the same exhibit that you were engrossed by – old fare boxes through the years. You turned and looked at him, and smiled when you recognized him.

“Barba,” you said, and you looked him over. “You clean up nice. A far cry from your usual off-the-rack sackcloth.”

“Counselor,” he replied. “I’m surprised to see you here. Shouldn’t you be off visiting some serial masturbating client in prison?”

You pouted at this, and Barba tried to ignore how kissable you looked in your deep red lipstick. “My serial masturbating client isn’t in prison, Barba. Remember? I won him a ‘not guilty’ verdict, from you, if I recall correctly.”

“One of your rare victories.”

You took a sip of your drink; it looked like cola and something, in a rock glass with a twist of lime. “Ah, but those rare victories against you are so sweet. The sound of you grinding your teeth when I win…it sustains me through the lean times.”

Barba scoffed. “I don’t grind my teeth. Besides, get ready for another lean period. The Alexi case…I’ll have a guilty verdict within an hour of the jury retiring.”

You polished off your drink and turned to walk to the bar, and Barba followed. “We’ll see,” you said as you strolled beside him. “I think Judge Catalano will have some thoughts about the integrity of the lab once I talk with him.”

At the bar, you made eye contact with a bartender and tapped on your glass, and the woman nodded at you in understanding. You turned to face Barba, leaning back against the bar. “We all know that the medical examiner’s office is compromised after the Rudnick disaster.”

Barba groaned. “Oh, don’t start with that.” He reached across the bar to hand you your drink, and you both settled at a nearby table. “You know damned well that Rudnick was an anomaly…”

“How can I know that? How can anyone? Any single case he oversaw could be compromised…”

“…but you know that’s not the case….”

“All I know is that a crucial link in the chain of custody was being overseen by an actual serial killer, Barba, and…”

He sat his scotch down specifically so that he could throw up his hands. “You’re impossible! You’ll only be happy when the prisons are empty and every bad guy in the world is released with a hug and an apology!”

This made you burst into a gale of laughter, so loud and unexpected that you placed a hand over your mouth. He watched you laugh for a long moment, smiling a bit at the sight of it. Once you calmed down, your laughs trailed to the occasional hiccupped giggle, you took a deep swallow of your drink and grinned. “That’s what you think of me, Harvard Law?”

He polished off his own scotch and flagged down a wandering server to order another. “I think you’ve got a good head for law and a soft heart. I think the world hasn’t worn you down yet, but in public defense, it seems inevitable.”

Your wide grin faltered a bit, but before you could refute his claim, two women made their way over to your table, waving and calling you. You looked over at them and your smile returned.

“Who let you in?” you teased. “This exclusive organization has clearly lowered its standards.”

The taller woman scoffed and leaned in to hug you, but the shorter red-head looked hard at Barba before turning to hug you too.

“Barba, these are my friends from Fordham,” you introduced. “Chauncy and Sarah. Guys, this is ADA Rafael Barba.”

There was a flurry of handshakes, and Chauncy’s seemed especially firm. “You handled the Jackie Walker disaster,” she said. Barba winced to remember the flubbed case against the innocent man, and the red-head saw his discomfort. “Don’t sweat it,” she continued. “I’m representing his civil case against the NYPD. I’ll get him a nice payday to soothe the fact that his career and reputation was destroyed.”

The tall woman laid a gentle hand on Chauncy. “Play nice,” she warned.

You had just watched the interaction, then offered to go get drinks for everyone. Before anyone could object, you were off to the bar, and the remaining three exchanged wary looks.

You returned laden down with an armful of glasses and a wide grin that he recognized. “Open bar, guys,” you said. You plunked down another scotch for Barba and then everyone else’s drinks. “Drink up. I got shots.” He watched you place an electric pink shot glass in front of everyone, him included.

Sarah laughed at you. “What’s this shot called?” she asked.

You shook your head at her. “You know what it is.”

“Say it.” Sarah said. She and Chauncy started chanting “say it, say it” until you were ducking your head in embarrassment.

Chauncy looked at Barba and explained it to him: “She tried to order a certain drink when she turned twenty-one and we took her out to celebrate.”

“It’s the only alcoholic drink she knew,” Sarah added.

“But she was too embarrassed to say ‘sex,’ so she called it ‘Love on the Beach,’” Chauncy finished.

“And these jackals picked up on it immediately,” you said with a rueful shake of your head, but you refused to quite meet his gaze. “And they spent the next four years – and apparently this evening – making me order drinks and shots based on how filthy the name was.”

Barba picked up the shot glass with its nuclear pink liquid, playing along. He’d never seen you look so discomfited, and he loved it. “So what’s this one called?”

“It’s got peach schnapps, coconut rum, cherry vodka….”

“He didn’t ask what was in it, Sparky,” Sarah teased, and Barba gave a bark of laughter at your apparent nickname.

“Sparky?” he asked incredulous.

You heaved a heavy, beleaguered sigh. “They called me ‘Sparky’ because a professor called me a sparkplug once when I got worked up and argued a case in class.” You picked up the shot and regarded it for a moment, then mumbled in a rush, “and this is called a Killer Pussy.” You stuttered on the last word, scrunched your face in embarrassment, then threw back the shot. Then turned on your heel and marched off for more booze, the laughter from your table at your back.

-----

This is how the evening progressed: you got everyone drinks, socializing as you came and went to the bar with people you passed. Your friends ordered different shots and tried to make you say what they were. Sometimes you muttered it in passing, other times you dug your heels in and refused to say it, making your friends howl with laughter. It wasn’t mean spirited though – you laughed and relaxed with each drink you threw back. You only did about half of the shots, preferring your mixed cola and whatever.

Every time you wandered off, Barba asked general questions about you to your friends, and they (lawyers in their own right) saw right through him.

“Why do you care?” asked Sarah. “You like her?”

“I just face off against her a lot in court,” he offered. “Might help to know her weak spots.”

Chauncy scoffed at this, like she didn’t believe him. “Sure. We wouldn’t help you beat her in court.” A sly look crossed her face as she looked Barba over like a butcher appraising a cow. “Maybe if you had more…personal reasons though…”

He felt his face grow warm, but you came back just then with another round (you wouldn’t name the shot, so Sarah said it and Barba heard you audibly wince when she did). Then dinner was served.

A relative silence descended over the table as everyone ate, and Chauncy took the opportunity to ask you, rather pointedly, if you were seeing anyone.

“No,” you replied with a shake of your head. You sawed off another piece of steak, happy to leave it at that.

But your friend persisted. “Maybe you could find someone here,” she tried, and Barba shot her a glare across the table that she only batted her eyes at.

“Doubtful,” you said around a bite of steak. You glanced around the room. “Though I see the Bronx ADA that I went on a date with once. Not my type.”

Barba glanced over to where you were looking – he knew the Bronx ADA you were looking at. ADA Williams and Barba had started in New York together. He cleared his throat when you casually brushed off his colleague. Likely you had an upper age limit on potential suitors. “Why isn’t he your type?” he asked.

You shrugged and moved onto your mashed potatoes. “He’s a jerk, and I found out after the fact that he’s still married. He obviously struggles with the fidelity thing. It’s a deal-breaker.” Then you wiped your mouth with your napkin and excused yourself to use the restroom.

Your friends clucked in sympathy and filled him in. “Her first boyfriend, Jason, cheated on her for a year before she found out. And her last boyfriend, Dom…well, the working theory is that he cheated too,” said Sarah.

“He’s a cop. He had a cute little blonde partner that apparently came between them,” Chauncy added. “Missed their anniversary dinner.”

Sarah sighed. “I remember that. She called me, crying.” She glanced over at Barba and pointed at him. “This is top secret. You’re in the inner circle now, so don’t repeat it.”

Chauncy pointed too. “Inner circle. You drink the Killer Pussy, you’re in the club. The only way out of the club is death.”

He held up his hands in surrender. You eventually returned to your seat, and Barba looked you over. If your eyes looked a little watery and red-rimmed, he couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol or if you’d been crying.

You were a fierce competitor in the courtroom and an irritating presence besides, but he felt a sympathetic comradery with you. He’d been cheated on when he was around your age, and he had thrown himself into his work. Like you seemed to be doing. He pretended to be uninterested in romance, as you seemed to be now. And he knew where that sort of life would lead: you nearing forty, alone and bitter and convinced that you’d never find anyone. Caught in a terrible limbo of being lonely and wanting love, but too terrified of being hurt again.

Suddenly your reaction at the 16th precinct made more sense. He also knew that if he ever got the chance, he’d kick Carisi’s skinny ass down the courthouse steps.

-----

After dinner, there were the usual speeches about it being another great year. There was a slideshow of all the conferences and opportunities they’d created, how membership grew, how so many law articles had been published and legislation drafted. Then the lights were turned down a fraction and the music was turned up. Sarah and Chauncy drifted off to dance and mingle with other people, but Barba was perfectly content to pick up the dropped thread of your earlier conversation. You both stood and went to the bar, got fresh drinks, then lingered by the edge of the dance floor.

Arguing with him seemed to revive you – you’d been unusually quiet ever since dinner, but as soon as Barba brought up the Alexi case again, you got that glint in your eye again.

“Forget the tainted lab results then,” you said. “I have serious doubts that the rest of the evidence was even legally attained.”

Barba rolled his eye elaborately, which made you roll your eyes at him. You continued, “there’s a lot of established case law regarding non-English speaking suspects being Mirandized in English only….”

“Your client speaks English, Sparky.”

You narrowed your eyes at him until they were slits, and your scrunched your face up again. It was probably supposed to look mean, but you looked charming. Barba wanted to kiss your frowning mouth until your lipstick was smeared and you were smiling at him.

“Don’t scowl at me,” he continued. “It’s a great nickname. It suits you.” Your eyes narrowed even further, so he plucked your empty glass from you hand and pulled you onto the dance floor before you could protest.

Your dress was off-the-shoulder, and it revealed an expanse of your soft-looking skin – far more than you ever revealed with your courtroom suits. But Barba was a gentleman, so he laid a hand lightly on your waist and led you in a simple box step around the floor.

“Kadyrbayev versus the Commonwealth of Massachusetts,” you continued. “Knowing some English isn’t the same as having a competency of English.”

He snorted. “Everyone knows the Miranda rights,” he started, but you cut him off before he could continue his train of thought.

“Solid argument,” you agreed sarcastically. “You write about how ‘everyone knows stuff’ for your law review article?”

Barba gritted his teeth, caught himself when you smirked at him knowingly, and felt his irritation rise. You were closer to him than you’d ever been; you were close enough that he could smell your bright perfume and feel the stormy electric front he always felt when you were near him and fighting. But the irritation was stronger than any desire he might feel for you.

“You’re so annoying,” he bit back lamely.

“Solid,” you repeated. You tilted your head at him and smiled. “You’re just mad that I win against you.”

“Rarely. You rarely win against me.”

“But it stings, doesn’t it? You’re used to public defenders who barely try, and here comes this girl wonder…”

“Girl pain in the ass,” he grumbled, and you gave another loud laugh at this that startled him into a smile.

“If you would just be willing to compromise on plea deals, it’d go easier for you.”

“It’s not my job to get plea deals,” he retorted. “It’s my deal to deliver justice.”

You looked at him, staring straight into his eyes and giving him a jolt at how close your face was to his. “Define justice, Barba.”

He twisted his mouth into a smirk and stared back at you. “You need me to give you an introduction to justice? Plato and Nicomachean ethics? You skip that at Fordham so that you could go comfort people in jail and tell them it wasn’t their fault because a study once said that people who didn’t get hugged three times a day are more likely to…”

“God, you’re the worst.” You dropped your hand from his shoulder and pulled your other hand from his grasp, and you marched off the dance floor. You were slightly unsteady in your high heels, and Barba was at your elbow, following you. You turned and glanced back at him. “I meant utilitarianism versus retributivism, and you bring up hugs again. What’s your deal with hugs, Barba? You sound like every crusty old white guy ranting about how kids today are too soft….”

“That’s completely unfair,” he barked back, stung at the insinuation. He wasn’t a monster; he was completely sympathetic to the challenges that poor people faced in the justice system. You likely didn’t know that he grew up poor in the Bronx, and he was insulted that you thought he didn’t care about the people from his neighborhood…and all the other disenfranchised in the city and beyond.

“I’d slap you,” you replied, and you stopped and turned to look at him. “But you’d try to twist the simple assault charge into attempted murder, probably.” You paused, then added, “for justice’s sake.”

“It’d get you off the street at least,” he snapped. “You could stop menacing the city with your fucking irritating mouth.”

Your eyes widened at his sudden use of profanity. “Are we actually fighting now, Barba? Is this us having a fight?” You pointed between the two of you in disbelief.

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose before he looked at you again. “You just never stop. You always have some convoluted study or obscure case from some 1930’s backwater jurisdiction…”

“Like you ever stop!” You threw your hands up in exasperation. “You find the most tenuous ways to link a date-rape case back to Constitutional law, practically.” You went on, made some claim that Barba would eventually cite the Articles of Confederation in a cyber-stalking case, but he was barely paying attention. He couldn’t tell if you were really mad or not. He’d never spent so much time with you arguing, so he wasn’t sure if this was its logical outcome. You were ranting but punctuating your words with light laughs. You were gesturing wildly but gifting him with half-smiles.

He wanted to kiss you desperately, but he wasn’t sure if it was because you looked like the sexiest woman he’d ever seen or if because he just wanted you to shut up for a minute.

You were winding down now, and like in court, you linked your conclusion back to your opening statement. “You never stop either, Barba,” you finished, and you squared off in front of him like you were expecting to actually fight him at this point.

He waited a moment, then simply said, “The Articles of Confederation didn’t outline the court system, so your analogy is very weak.”

You replied by growling at him, “just stop!” and he swore he saw actual murder in your glaring eyes. He never got to see you thrown off your game like you seemed to be now.

“How about your make me?” he teased.

You reached up, and for a split second he thought you actually were going to slap him. Instead, you clasped a palm over his mouth, silencing him. But he ducked his head out of your grasp with a chuckle, and the next thing he knew, your mouth was on his, cutting off his laugh as you pressed the length of your body against him. All he could do was groan against you and snake his arms around you. And then kiss you back.

The rest of the reception fell away, like the world always did when Barba was with you. He felt you wrap your own hands around the back of his neck, tugging him closer to you. You parted your lips and ran the tip of your tongue against the seam of his mouth, and he opened himself to you.

You slid your tongue into his mouth, and he groaned again to taste you. He could feel his blood – already heated from dancing with you and teasing you – start to pool in his groin, and he pushed you away gently, breaking the kiss and looking at you.

Your pupils were huge, and your lipstick was blurred around the edges in that just-kissed look that drove him crazy. Otherwise, you seemed sober – or sober enough to consent, or at least he convinced himself that you were. To your credit, you weren’t slurring your words or stumbling or acting drunk. Aside from kissing him out of nowhere. That was unexpected, and possibly the result of impaired judgement.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, and you drew your brows in confusion before you nodded.

“I’m fine.”

“Do you…do you want to get out of here?” He could barely look at you; he wanted you so badly but wasn’t sure you were sober enough, but you seemed in your right mind. But you had to be intoxicated to kiss him…maybe?

You cut off his circuitous thinking by reaching down and grabbing his wrist, and you tugged him towards the nearest exit, and Barba was too far gone himself, drunk on the sexual tension and/or murderous rage (Liv could never, ever find out), to do much higher thinking after that.

-----

You were silent as you led him to the street, then you muttered that you lived a few blocks away. Barba just nodded, but he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him as the two of you walked to your place. When you had to stop and wait for a light at a crosswalk, he pulled you back to him. He kept waiting for you to push him away, to stop the whole chain-reaction that you’d started when you kissed him at the reception, but you didn’t. You leaned into him and kissed him back just as fervently.

Your apartment looked like a Victorian rowhouse, chopped into units, and as you led him up two floors, you informed him that Sarah and Chauncy lived on the second floor. At the third landing, you pulled a bundle of keys from your clutch. Your hands shook a bit as you tried to unlock the door, and Barba took the opportunity to sweep your hair away from the back of your neck and kiss you there, drawing the tip of his tongue along your heated skin and making your breath hitch.

Once inside, he practically kicked the door shut. You knelt down to undo the narrow ankle straps of your shoes, and once out of them, you were much steadier on your feet. When you turned to face him, he felt suddenly nervous.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.

You nodded and reached for him, but he held you at arms’ length. “Did you have too much to drink?” he asked.

You pulled a face at this, then took a step backwards to balance on one foot in a semblance of a field sobriety test. “I do solemnly swear that I am well within the legal limit of alcohol intake, and am furthermore consenting to the activities about to occur in this apartment.”

He smiled weakly. “It’s just that you’re not my biggest fan usually….”. You took a swift few steps over to him and placed your hand over his mouth again.

“You’re a pain,” you said softly. “You constantly fight me at work, you smirk at me, you called me Girl Wonder. But I very much want you right now, if you want me.”

He did. Very much.

He kissed the palm that covered his mouth, and when you pulled it away, he dipped his head and kissed your crimson lips, parted them to plunge his tongue and slide it against your own. And from there, you both got increasingly desperate, pawing at each other and tugging at clothes and gasping each other’s names until it felt like you were both drowning and you were each the only chance of salvation for the other.

Barba shucked his own tuxedo as fast as he could as you shimmied out of your dress, revealing a sweetly sexy strapless black bra and panties. He pulled you back to him, savoring the feel of your nearly naked frame pressed against him, and you buried your face in the sensitive juncture of his neck and kissed him while he fumbled with the clasp of your bra. Once undone, he tossed it aside and then cupped your breasts in his big hands, and you arched yourself into him with a moan.

You pulled away from him with a sultry smile, then took his hand and led him into your bedroom. He lifted you up with a grunt – you were deceptively heavy – and tossed you onto the bed, and you laughed until he joined you and latched onto first your left nipple and then your right, suckling them and then nipping at them with his teeth, and then swirling his tongue around them to soothe the sting of his light bites. You tangled your hands in his hair, sometimes tugging him upward, sometimes pushing him into the valley of your breasts, and he grinned against your warm skin that smelled faintly of vanilla. He worked your panties off of you as far as he could reach, and then he felt you kick them off into some shadowy corner of the room.

He wanted to take his time with you, but it was all too much, and he let you tug his head back up to yours. You kissed again, nipping at his lower lip and sucking on it. He slid his tongue into your mouth and felt your sharp intake of breath and then your groaning sigh as he reached down to the junction between your legs and slid one of his fingers into you. He muttered a curse at how wet you were, how unbearably hot, and he wondered if it was all because of him.

You wriggled under him until he was completely on top of you. And when you opened your legs to him, he removed his hand and replaced it with his cock – so hard that he could practically feel his heartbeat in it. But despite the spinning room and the heady unreality of having you naked underneath him, he managed to pause and ask you if this is what you really wanted.

“Oh, yes,” you whispered, and your eyes had that same gleam in them as they did when you argued with him at work, so he gazed into them as he slid into your depths in one even motion. Your eyelids fluttered and you moaned something unintelligible, so he paused again when was buried to the hilt and asked if you were okay.

To answer him, you wrapped first one leg and then the other around the small of his back, granting him an extra inch to sink into you as you pulled him closer. He dropped his head beside yours with a growl, and he let your small heels dig into his ass and guide his thrusts until he found his own rhythm. It wasn’t long before you were gasping his name, and then arching hard underneath him, so hard that you nearly bucked him off of you, and then squeezing his cock as you came against him. And then he followed, unable to hold back, spilling himself deep inside of you.

And from there, the alcohol and sex and maybe the exhaustion from your evening of bickering put you both to sleep before any awkwardness could descend. You were both sprawled out at first but then drifted in sleep towards each other until you were curled against him, and his arm held you there.

Hours later, before sunrise, you both stirred and came awake in degrees. Barba’s erection pressed against your hip, and he tried to pull away from you, embarrassed. But you pressed a finger against his mouth to silence him before he could talk. When he kissed it, you tilted your head at him and leaned down to press your own lips to his, and without a word exchanged, you straddled him, running your slick parts against him.

“Is this really what you want?” you whispered, echoing his own question to you earlier. He could only reply as you had.

“Oh, yes.”

You lowered yourself onto him, but it was less frenzied this time. In the dim light, he could make out your outline as you rode him gently, sliding yourself off of him nearly all the way before impaling yourself. Over and over and over, until he had to reach out and grab your hips to guide you in a faster pace, bouncing you onto him until you came. You gasped his name again, and he felt his own orgasm coil up and then snap, and he came too.

And then another few hours of sleep. When Barba woke up, fully sober and a little hungover, and the soft grey-pink light of dawn creeping through the blinds, he felt a sudden horror at what he’d done. You were dead asleep: your lips were parted as you snored lightly, and your hand was laid across his arm. He moved it carefully to not wake you.

He should have never come to Brooklyn, he should have never drank at all, and he certainly should have never come back to your place. And to have sex with you twice, when he wasn’t sure if you could really consent? A terrible dread filled him, and he did the only thing he could do: he slid out of bed, got dressed as quickly as he could, and fled.

He was halfway back across the Brooklyn Bridge when he second-guessed himself, but by now you’d be awake and realizing that he’d left you. And fleeing was useless anyway: your respective work heavily overlapped, and he’d have to face you sooner or later.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #tro

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