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collinrobinsonsglasses · 3 months

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hi!! if it's ok I'd love to make a request!

please can you write a oneshot with Nandor x reader (fem/gender neutral) where reader is feeling insecure and Nandor comforts them? hoping for something really fluffy and if you're comfortable with writing smut then it'd be amazing (if not then no worries, SFW is fine with me :D)

thank you!!

Nandor x F!Reader

Masterlist

Word count: 1.9k

This was my first time writing something for WWDITS, and my first time writing something a little spicier. It was a lot of fun. Thank you for the request @just-a-little-cellist

Warnings: NSFW, This is a little more smutty than my usual stuff, so 18+ only please!!

Getting More Familiar

Having recently moved back to the city in search of a fresh start, you found yourself working at the local movie theater without a clear sense of direction. It was during this time that two mysterious figures, dressed in Victorian garb, approached you with an enticing job offer. The prospect of escaping your unfulfilling job and gaining a new place to live seemed too good to pass up. When Nadja and Laszo revealed they were vampires that night, it didn’t faze or shock you at all; it felt entirely ordinary. Reflecting on the encounter, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had fallen under their hypnotic influence. Strangely, this realization didn’t bother you; instead, it added an intriguing layer to your newfound life.

As Nadja and Laszlo’s familiar, you found yourself responsible for managing the entire household, which included their two roommates. Nadja and Laszlo were low-maintenance, devoting the majority of their free time to activities that Laszlo referred to as “fucking and sucking.” You quickly learned to avoid Colin Robinson, as he never missed a chance to drain your energy–whether through incessant talking or attempting to piss you off. You found Nandor to be your favorite vampire companion, and he, too, seemed to enjoy spending time with you. He shared that his familiar, Guillermo, was currently on a break, and Nandor appeared somewhat lonely.

Nandor relished recounting his human past, regaling you with tales of the villages he relentlessly pillaged and reminiscing about his time as the nation’s Supreme Viceroy. You consistently listened to Nadnor’s stories with genuine interest, asking questions and sharing laughter at his jokes. Despite Nandor’s formidable warrior background, it appeared that the years as a vampire had softened him. What he seemed to need most was someone who would listen and genuinely care about what he had to say. Being that person came easily to you, and you couldn’t help but imagine that Guillermo had played a similar role before his departure.

You couldn’t deny that Nandor was quite easy on the eyes, though it felt somewhere cliché to admit, considering he was a vampire. His undeniable strength became clear when he assisted you in carrying heavy bodies for disposal. Nandor had long, soft, black hair, and on some mornings, he’d ask you to brush it before he retreated into his casket. When the group ventured into the city at night, he displayed a protective streak, keeping a watchful eye on your whereabouts and warding off other vampires who showed too much interest in you. Though you harbored strong feelings for him, you refrained from admitting it, acknowledging that a 761-year-old vampire likely wouldn’t share your romantic feelings. Despite this, you cherished the moments spent in his company, savoring the connection whenever possible.

Today unfolded like any other ordinary day, with you rising a few hours before sunset to tidy up the house before the vampires stirred. In the library, Colin sat absorbed in his newspaper, a familiar sight as you diligently dusted the room. It seemed that Colin was perpetually awake, his presence a constant in the early evening routine. Colin prattled on about something from the newspaper, but you didn’t mind, anticipating the upcoming time with Nandor. As you continued to dust, Colin’s chatter ceased, likely realizing his attempts to drain your energy in this way were futile.

“You know, it’s interesting…” Colin Robinson began, peering out above his newspaper toward you. “Laszlo and Nadja usually have sex with their familiar by now, but they haven’t with you. Makes you wonder what’s wrong with you.” With that, he folded his newspaper with glee and left the room, his eyes glowing blue and a smirk on his face.

He had gotten to you. The rush of energy left your body as you started to ponder if Colin’s words held truth. What was wrong with you? You never saw yourself as beautiful or sexy, considering yourself cute at best. Memories of past men you liked referring to you as “like a sister” flashed through your mind. Colin Robinson had hit on an insecurity that had lingered for most of your life–you didn’t feel desirable. You were kind and easy to be around, but the realization sank in that there was probably a reason those two vampires wouldn’t have any interest in you. Those thoughts circled in your mind for the next few hours as you continued cleaning the house, leaving you feeling intensely self-conscious by the time the sun set. You made a decision to try to avoid everyone tonight, unless they genuinely needed you.

You kept yourself busy in the fancy room after greeting Nadja and Laszlo. Fortunately, they made their way to the room with the piano, engrossed in practicing some of their old songs. This allowed you to maintain a bit of distance and focus on your tasks for the night. After an hour, Nandor found you, greeting you with a sheepish smile while idly playing with his fingers. “Oh, there you are,” his voice rang out with his usual, endearing accent.

You replied with a forced smile, that being the best you could muster while feeling embarrassed for letting Colin Robinson get to you. Despite your attempts to conceal your emotions, Nandor noticed immediately.

“You’re glum,” Nandor remarked as he sat on the couch, gesturing for you to join him. When you opened your mouth to speak, nothing came out. “Don’t deny it. I can tell.” Feeling vulnerable, you decided to tell him the truth, but you looked to the ground while speaking. “Do Nadja and Laszlo sleep with all their familiars?”

“Nadja and Laszlo would fuck anything with a pulse,” Nandor chuckled, seemingly misreading the situation completely. “Well, I guess technically they wouldn’t even need a pulse, because we’re vampires.”

“So Colin Robinson was right. There must be something wrong with me.” You leaned your head back against the couch, tears forming in your eyes. All the past stings of rejection came rushing back in that moment. You glanced over towards Nandor, realizing he looked confused, and you felt silly for allowing yourself to get emotional in front of him. Trying to compose yourself, you sat up, wiped away the forming tears and mustered a weak smile.

“Why do you think there is something wrong with you?” Nandor asked, genuine confusion painting his face.

“Colin Robinson said there has to be a reason Nadja and Laszlo haven’t tried to make a move on me. I guess I’m just not desirable in that way… even though I have a pulse,” you said, trying to make a joke out of it now. You realized that Nandor probably wanted nothing to do with this conversation.

“Fucking guy,” Nandor grumbled, his expression darkening as he glared straight ahead. When he looked back at you, his demeanor softened. “I believe you are incredibly beautiful… and you have a rocking body.”

You didn’t believe a word he was saying, knowing this was most likely just him trying to cheer you up and move on quickly. “Thanks, Nandor, but you don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t understand. What am I doing?” Nandor questioned, a perplexed expression on his face.

“Trying to cheer me up, but it’s silly. I”ll get over it.”

Nandor moved towards you, placing his cold hand against your cheek and wiping the remnant of a tear from your face. “I, Nandor the Relentless, have had 37 wives and even more lovers. I believe you are one of the most beautiful, sensitive, and poetic creatures I have ever laid my eyes upon.” In this moment, Nandor spoke with authority, unlike the shy version of Nandor you usually encountered.

Inhaling quickly in shock, you looked into Nandor’s dark brown eyes. You stayed silent, unsure if this was a trick or if it was real.

“If you do not believe you are desirable, I’ll have to show you how desirable I think you are,” he whispered, gazing over you with his eyes. “If that is what you want.”

You replied with a quick nod, your eyes widening, and your heart picking up speed. Your emotions flooded with longing, and you looked down towards Nandor’s lips.

Nandor’s lips found yours, his hands firmly holding your face as he drew you in. Closing your eyes, you relished the feeling of his cold lips against yours. A gasp escaped you as his kisses trailed down your neck. Nandor guided you to lay on the couch, his body intimately pressed against yours. You sensed the touch of his cold fingers tracing across your thigh beneath your dress, eliciting a moan from you, muffled by the embrace of his kiss. He momentarily paused, his fingers delicately tracing the contours of your underwear, while looking into your eyes.

Nandor whispered, uncertainty clouding his face, “Is this truly what you desire?”

“Yes,” you replied with conviction, “Ever since I started working as Nadja and Laszlo’s familiar, I’ve been into you, Nandor.”

“How should I put this… it is you who are the person who I am into… too.” His genuine smile grew, while looking down at you.

With that, you sensed his fingers skillfully maneuvering around the fabric of your underwear, and gasped as his finger rubbed against you. You felt your hips instinctively lift at his touch and you observed him with a gaze filled with desire. As his finger slid inside of you, your eyes closed involuntarily, wanting to commit the sensation of his touch into memory. The soft sound of his chuckle reached your ears, acknowledging your reaction, while he removed your underwear tossing them onto the ground. You then experienced his icy kisses trailing up your thighs before he was between your legs. His tongue and lips provided a heavenly sensation causing you to moan and grind your hips against his mouth.

“You taste delicious,” Nandor growled.

Rising from the couch, he stood up, gently pulling you to your feet and enveloping you in a deep kiss. The intensity of the kiss heightened as he pressed you against one of the room’s walls. Effortlessly lifting you up, your legs encircling him, he pressed against you. Your hand descended, deftly unbuttoning his pants, causing him to moan as you led him inside of you. A momentary pause ensued as you locked eyes, desire vividly painting both of your faces. Nandor’s vampire strength proved formidable; he held you aloft, as you began a slow rotation of your hips. Closing his eyes, he emitted a low groan, surrendering to the intensity of the moment. Entwined with Nandor, a genuine feeling of beauty enveloped you, relishing in the pleasure you both felt. The feeling of being desired by Nandor dispelled any lingering doubts Colin Robinson had left in your head. Nandor thought you were sexy and he wanted you.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

“Well, if I”m being honest,” Nandor candidly addressed the camera, “I asked Laszlo and Nadja to not fuck her… because I liked her… I guess I could have told her that, but I think it worked out.” A smirk played on Nandor’s lips as he glanced towards the camera, nervously playing with his fingers. Just then, Nadja’s voice echoed from the other room, causing his smirk to drop.

“About fucking time you made a move, you big idiot.”

#nandor the relentless #nandor x reader #nandor #Nandor smut #Nandor the relentless smut #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #wwdits smut #Nandor the relentless x reader

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mothguillotine · 5 months

Text

Is It Still Family Dinner If You Can't Eat?

When you wake up, the sun has just about gone down. Nandor is still sleeping, and during the night, you had moved to lay on top of his chest. You just lay there for a bit, enjoying the feeling of being pressed into Nandor. A few minutes later, you feel him starting to move.

"Good evening," you tell Nandor, looking up at him resting your chin on your hands, "I didn't realize that you are a cuddler."

"Why would I not?" he asks you, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I don't know," you say, "not that I mind it."

You both lay on the bed for a while, talking, until you hear a commotion down the hall. At first, you think that luckily, it doesn't involve you until your door is thrown open. Standing on the other side is Guillermo, who looks shocked.

"GUILLERMO!" You and Nandor yell at the same time.

"AHHH!" Guillermo shouts and covers his eyes.

"Shut the door!" You yell at him, which he does quickly.

On the other side of the door, Guillermo is looking directly into the camera, and he looks traumatized.

_________________________________________

Downstairs Nadja and Laszlo are sitting down in front of the camera, and they look pleased.

"Our plan, it finally worked." Nadja says smiling, "Our dear friends have finally fucked. After so many days of managing them they haven't been able to get their hands off each other."

They both stop for a moment and the sounds of moaning can be heard echoing from upstairs.

"Unfortunately an unforeseen consequence of this has been the noise." Laszlo says, "It has been making my dear wife and I very horny."

"I honestly don't know how much more I can take," she says, "you know what. I am done."

Nadja stands up and rips off her microphone. She leaves the room and Laszlo quickly takes off his own microphone as well. They both move up the stairs at a fast rate while the crew closely follows behind.

When they approach the door the sounds of moaning become louder and louder. The crew, still filming, watch as Laszlo knocks on the door and the moaning suddenly stops. A few moments later Nandor is peeking out of the door.

The crew is unable to hear anything said by the vampires but they continue to watch them. Nandor turns back into the room, presumably to tell you something, and then Nandor opens the door. Nadja and Laszlo move quickly into the room and the crew runs down the hall. When they get there they hear the moaning start back up with new voices.

_________________________________________

Later in the evening you and Nandor are sitting together on the sofa in front of the fireplace. You are both reading books that you found in the library. His arm is wrapped securely around you and is pulling you into him. The last few days have been spent together and honestly you are at the happiest you've ever been, the only thing that could make it better is having your best friend with you.

Over the last few days with Nandor you have been surprised with how much he's told you about his past. The stories range from twenty to six hundred years ago. He tells you about Al Qolnidar and his time as a general during the Ottoman Empire.

You tell him about how you moved from the Midwest when you were nine and moved to Staten Island. The entire time you are talking he is fully invested in what you are saying. It's nice to actually be listened to by someone and you never expected that person to be Nandor.

The one thing it felt like you didn't really talk about was what the thing between you was. It felt silly to call him your boyfriend, the man is over 600 years old and the term ‘boyfriend’ doesn't really fit him. You guys have fucked quite a few times and not once have you had a conversation about how you both feel.

“Master,” Guillermo says standing in the doorway, “Laszlo wishes to see you in the front yard.”

“Coming, Guillermo.” he says back and stands up, “I will be right back, my dove.”

You stay sitting at the sofa and check your phone. Still nothing from Oscar, you honestly expected for him to understand what had happened but you were wrong. Over the past few days you have realized that if Oscar doesn’t want to be in your life anymore you should let him go, as much as you want him in your life.

_________________________________________

Guillermo had been observing you over the last few days. He had noticed that while you were happy it was obvious something was bothering you. He knew what it was, given the amount you were checking your phone to see if Oscar had texted you back yet and honestly it was starting to concern him. Guillermo knew that the last thing you wanted to do was hurt Oscar and you did that, unfortunately.

Guillermo felt as though if Oscar could see how much you were hurting over what happened, your relationship may be repaired. What he also knew is that if you found out what he was planning you would stop him and so would any of the vampires, given how negatively he reacted the other day. So he would have to do this in secret. Guillermo puts his plan into action. He knows he needs a reason to get out of the house covertly. He quickly asks around to see if anyone needs anything from the store.

When he has his list of items that people need he exits the house. Outside Guillermo sees Nandor and Laszlo speaking with Sean on the front lawn. He just knows that this is gonna be tricky to get out of here without drawing attention to himself. He tries his hardest to sneak by unnoticed and stays in the shadows as much as possible while moving slowly. Unfortunately when Guillermo is nearly at the edge of the lawn he is seen by Sean.

“G-money,” Sean yells, “get over here. We were just talking about Nandors new girl, over here”

“Yes, we were just talking about my girlfriend.” Nandor tells him proudly when gets close to the fence.

“Your girlfriend?” Guillermo asks.

“Yes, Gizmo.” Laszlo says, “Keep up.”

“Okay, well anyways, Master, do you need anything from the store?” Guillermo asks, “Nadja asked me to-”

“Guillermo I am busy, please leave.” Nandor dismisses him.

“Okay master.” Guillermo says and turns to leave.

“Wait, Guillermo.” Nandor says and Guillermo is worried he is caught, “Can you get more candles? They make a very romantic atmosphere.”

“Of course, Master.” he tells him realizing that nobody actually cares if he leaves or not and this whole plan was a waste.

_________________________________________

After amusing Sean for a while and agreeing to go with him on a ‘guys trip’ the next weekend, Nandor was finally allowed to go back inside. Even though he longed to spend time with you he was forced to sit down in front of the camera.

“Over the past few weeks I have realized something. I think I have finally found the vampire I wish to spend the rest of my life with.” Nandor tells the camera, “After centuries of searching I am finally done.”

“I know that we have only been together for a short amount of time,” Nandor says, “but after being around for centuries I know when someone is right for me.”

_________________________________________

When Guillermo arrives at Oscar's apartment he takes a few moments before going to knock. He gathers himself and thinks about what he will tell Oscar, but when he goes to the door and knocks it's like all of his brain cells leave. Then Oscar opens the door and Guillermo really can't think of anyone to say.

“Guillermo, right?” Oscar asks, “What are you doing here? Are you going to kidnap me again? Because if you are, I really would prefer it if you didn't.”

“No!” Guillermo says suddenly, “I just want to know if you want to see her?”

“Listen, I know that she is upset but I don't know if I can be around her anymore. I can barely wrap my mind around the whole ‘vampires are real’ thing and on top of that my best friend is one.” he tells Guillermo, “I love her so much but it's just too much for me right now.”

“Okay.” Guillermo says.

“Really?” he asks, “That simple? You aren't trying to trick me or anything, right?”

“No, I just-” Guillermo starts, “I can get how it is a lot. I just wanted to tell you how bad she's been since you came over. She didn't tell me to come or anything. Honestly if she found out that I was here she might eviscerate me.”

“Well that would be a shame.” Oscar tells him, “You are too cute for disembowelment.”

“I- um… what?” Guillermo asks but Oscar just smiles.

“Do you want to come in and have some tea or coffee? or maybe something stronger?” Oscar asks him.

“uhh- yeah. That would be nice.” Guillermo says.

_________________________________________

At home you are cleaning up a bit, while Guillermo is using the one picking up, whenever the mood strikes you get into the zone. You decided to clean up the foyer and turn on some tunes.

Living with the vampires you do unfortunately the are absolutely fucking horrible at using techniques which means many things are out of date in the house. Such as instead of having a tv with spotify on it they had a historical record player.

This just did not work for you, mostly because the only music they had is original recordings. So when you moved in you brought your record player, with a variety of albums. For this particular job you knew that you needed a fun record so you decided on ABBA.

“YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN. YOUNG AND SWEET. ONLY SEVENTEEN!!!” you sing.

“Are you singing a song from Mamma Mia?!” Nadja asks you excitedly.

“uh, yeah. I guess.” you tell her, “I mean this particular recording is the one from the band.”

“The band?” she asks.

“Well, yeah. The songs that they use in the movie are by the band ABBA.” You tell her.

“I want to hear more.” she tells you when the record comes to an end.

“Okay.” you tell her picking up your ABBA albums, “Pick out which one.”

You and Nadja spend time listening to your albums when you give up on cleaning, until Nandor and Laszlo return from outside. As soon as they get back in the house Lazslo and Nadja retire to their room. Which leaves you and Nandor by yourselves in the library.

“What took you so long?” you ask him when he sits on the couch.

“Sean, our neighbor, was very chatty tonight,” he tells you as you get pulled into his lap.

“Oh yeah? What did you talk about?” you ask, sinking into him while bringing your hand up to play with the ends of his hair.

“He wanted to talk about going up to his cabin next weekend for a ‘guys trip’.” he tells you, “he was also asking about you.”

“Oh, me?” You ask confused, “What did he say?”

“Well, he was just wondering who you were,” he tells you, “I just told him that you are my girlfriend.”

“Your girlfriend?” You ask him, “I'm your girlfriend?”

You were right when you had thought it to be weird to refer to Nandor as your ‘boyfriend’ but the look on his face when he called you his girlfriend was unrivaled. Over the last few days, you had wondered what exactly your relationship was, and the idea that he decided to say that you were boyfriend-girlfriend was kinda funny.

“Is that not what humans call the people they are courting?” he asks you confused.

“No. I mean, yeah, it is, but I mean, you just never asked me to be your girlfriend.” You tell him.

“Oh, I just thought that the ‘stuff’ that we were doing meant you wanted to be with me.” he tells you and he looks sad.

“No, I do.” you tell him, “I just want you to ask me.”

“Okay. Will you be my girlfriend?” Nandor asks you.

“Yes, of course I will.” you tell him and go to kiss him. Both of you stay on the sofa for a while, chatting and kissing.

“Master!” Guillermo announces, “I'm back!”

“Oh, hey Guillermo,” you greet him when he enters the library, “Where did you go?”

“Oh, uh, just to the store.” he tells you, “Nadja needed some things.”

“Okay,” you say, “You found everything that you needed?”

“Oh yeah,” Guillermo says, “found it all.”

“Okay?” you say, starting to get suspicious. Guillermo may be able to trick the rest of your housemates but you could tell something was up.

_________________________________________

Guillermo was starting to feel really bad about what he had done. At first he had focused on helping your and Oscar's relationship but after a few glasses of wine he had lost the point of the conversation. He wasn't quite sure at what point it had led to his bedroom but it did.

Seeing you in the library had made him feel even more guilty than before. He wasn't supposed to be at Oscar's apartment much less fucking him. Guillermo honestly did know which one you would be more upset about.

He knew that ‘that’ couldn't happen again. No matter how much he enjoyed spending time with Oscar or how he honestly didn't feel that bad, but he felt bad about not feeling bad. It was just very confusing.

So he went over again to tell Oscar face-to-face why the next morning. Which, in hindsight, was a bad idea, because it led Guillermo to not saying anything and instead being invited in yet again.

This time though Guillermo loses track of time and when he finally looks at his phone he realizes it's nearly sunset.

“Shit,” Guillermo says looking down at his phone and suddenly stands up, “I have to go. It's almost time for me to get them up.”

“Okay,” Oscar says to Guillermo, “here's my number, you know, to text or whatever.”

“Oh, yeah.” Guillermo says, smiling.

“Yeah.” Oscar says handing him a piece of paper, presumably with his number on it.

“Okay,” he says when he gets a notification from Uber that his ride is here, “I have to go but I'll text you, yeah?”

“Perfect,” Oscar says as they walk to the door, “I'll see you later, Guillermo.”

Guillermo gives him a thumbs up and Oscar closes the door.

“Why did I give him a thumbs up?” Guillermo asks himself, “That was so stupid.”

He gets back to the house just in time to wake you all up and start work for the day. His first order of business was to wake everyone up from their slumber. After that he collects the mail from outside.

Recently Nadja has had a bit of an obsession with online shopping after you showed her and the state of the porch was proof of that. Many packages were stacked atop one another, most of them addressed to Nadja and some for you. The mail has a few things for Colin, a subscription called TopiaryMonthly for Laszlo, and a single letter addressed to you.

“Hey guys!” Guillermo calls, “The mail is here!”

“Coming!” Nadja vocalizes.

Guillermo watches as Nadja runs down the hall excitedly with Dolly.

“I bought you so much, my lovely bitch.” Nadja tells herself.

“Oh!” Dolly shouts, “I am so excited!”

Nadja hurriedly rips open her packages leaving a massive mess of boxes, bubble wrap, and tissue paper, which he knows he has to clean up. You arrive to collect your packages soon after Nadja leaves the foyer.

“Hey, which ones are mine?” You ask Guillermo.

“You have these three,” Guillermo tells you, handing the packages over, “and you have a letter.”

“Oh really?” You ask, “I haven't submitted my change of address form.”

You set your packages down, and Guillermo hands you the letter. When you take one glance at it, you know who it's from.

“Fuck.” you say exhaling.

“What?” Guillermo asks you.

“It's from my family.” you tell him and he looks concerned.

_________________________________________

“I wouldn't say I have a bad relationship with my parents,” you tell the camera, “We just don't always get along. Like normal families, I mean they yell a lot. More than even around here.”

When Guillermo first handed you the letter, it took your breath away for a second. They shouldn't know where you are and how they found you. You have no idea. The letter basically said that if you didn't come home soon, they would come here, and that definitely would not be good.

“I don't know what to do.” You say, “I can't exactly say ‘hey, mom and dad. I'm a vampire now.’ I mean, that's crazy, but it's true.”

You still haven't told Nandor everything about you, especially not the fact that your parents are crazy. In this life, you wanted them to not be involved. After years and years of being controlled by them, you wouldn't do it anymore. Which is why you end up on the doorstep of the home you grew up in.

You hold up your hand to knock but can't bring yourself to do it. Before you can turn to leave, the door bursts open, and behind it is your mom.

“Hey, mom.” you say.

“Where the hell have you been?” your mom says.

“I was just, you know, around.” You cover.

“Around where?” she asks, “I haven't seen you in over a month and have gotten barely any texts. Nani thought you were dead.”

“Ma, I'm fine.” You tell her, “I was just busy.”

“Are you sure?” she asks, “You look skinny.”

“Mom, I'm fine.” You assure her.

“Okay,” she says, “Well come in. Are you waiting for an invitation?”

When you walk into the house, it feels weird. A few months ago, when you had last seen the house, your life was so much different. Back then, you were more agreeable before you met Nadja, Laszlo, and Guillermo before Nador, when you were human still.

But you aren't human anymore and this house feels almost claustrophobic. The smells and sounds are overwhelming to say the least. Living in the house you have grown accustomed to the noises and smells of the old home, but this is overwhelming.

“Just sit at the table sweetie,” your mom calls from the kitchen and you sit down in the dining room, “We will bring out dinner.”

The smell of the food in the kitchen is enough to make you nauseous and the sounds in the house that you had never noticed before, were starting to overwhelm you. And when your parents bring out the food to the table it gets significantly worse.

“So, how has my little girl been?” your dad asks you.

“Good,” you tell him simply, “How are you?”

“We are good.” he says.

“Good.” you tell him.

All of you stay silent for a while, which is very awkward. You push your food around with a fork and bring it up every so often to take faux-bites.

“Do you want some to take home?” your mom asks.

“Uh, yeah,” you tell her, planning to give Guillermo them, “It will heat up good.”

Your mom stands up to get some tupperware for the food in the kitchen.

“So, we need to talk to you about something,” your dad tells you, “It's very serious.”

“Okay?” you ask confused, “What is it?”

“Well this isn't going to be easy to hear,” your father starts, and you can't help but hope that your parents are finally getting a divorce, “We are moving back home.”

“Okay.” you tell him, “That's it? You and mom are moving back home?”

“Well, no.” he says, “You are coming too.”

“What do you mean I'm coming too?” you ask him, “My whole life is here. My friends are here.”

“Well we are a part of your life too.” your dad says, growing more frustrated, “You are coming with us.”

“No, I'm not,” you tell him standing up suddenly from the table, “I am a fucking adult! I can choose where I live and you can't do anything about it.”

You decided to forego the leftovers and just go back home to your family. Before your mom or dad can say anything else, you slam the front door. After traveling down the road a bit so you are out of your parents' sight, you transform into a bat.

_________________________________________

Back at home it's quiet, Guillermo is texting away with Oscar, Nadja and Laszlo are working on a new song, Nandor is reading a new book you ordered for him about Al Qolnidar, and Colin is doing whatever the hell Colin does. So when you come inside the foyer Guillermo sees you right away, looking upset.

“Are you okay?” Guillermo says when he stands up to help you with your coat and bag.

“Yeah, I just,” you start to say, “my parents are just annoying. They want me to move back to Michigan with them. Which I obviously can't do, not that I want to.”

“What are you gonna do?” Guillermo asks you softly.

“I don't know,” you say, as you fall back on one of the chairs in the entryway, “Just try to get them to leave without me and if that doesn't work then hypnotize them.”

“Hypnotize them to forget about you?” Guillermo asks you, “What if your family asks about you? Then what? They just don't know?”

“Well no that wouldn't work.” you tell him, “What if I hypnotized them into just leaving?”

“That could work.” he tells you.

“But that's like the last choice.” you tell him, “I don't want to hypnotize them.”

“Yeah, absolutely. Only if we have no other choice.” Guillermo promises.

Masterlist

#nandor the relentless #nandor the relentless x reader #what we do in the shadows #wwdits #lazslo cravensworth #nadja of antipaxos #wwdits nandor #guillermo de la cruz #colin robinson #female reader

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i-have-a-wonky-eye-too · 4 months

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I need some Nandor the Relentless x reader. I'm obsessed. Plus, Kayvan Novak is HOT!

#nandor the relentless #nandor the relentless x reader #nandor x reader #wwdits #kayvan novak

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gonzo-rella · 2 years

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Imagine: Guillermo (Begrudgingly) Introducing You, His Asexual Friend, To Nandor

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

Relationship(s): Guillermo de La Cruz x gn!(sex averse/neutral) asexual!virgin!reader (platonic), Nandor the Relentless x gn! (sex averse/neutral) asexual!virgin!reader (unspecified)

Warnings: Non-graphic references to sex. Maybe some things that could be viewed as a tad insensitive to aces, but please keep in mind that I’m ace and that this is just light-hearted fluff. (Let me know if I need to add any)

(A/N: I had this idea when watching the vampire orgy episode. I know that not all of my fellow aces are virgins, and that some are sexually active (good on you for getting that [insert genital/s of preference]). However, I figured it’d be nice to write a WWDITS ace!reader-insert fic, and I also figured having a virgin!reader would be a good premise for a quick, funny imagine. I’m definitely thinking of writing more Nandor x ace!reader stuff in the future so keep an eye out for that or even request some yourself. [Insert obligatory begging for WWDITS requests, because I love everyone in this polycule])

“Guillermo!” you greeted. Who knew you’d run into him in the party aisle of the supermarket?

You briefly eyed the camera crew who were following him and filming you.

Initially, he smiled genuinely, but faltered when he heard Nandor approach him from behind, remembering the vampire’s presence. However, he managed to promptly plaster the smile back on his face.

“Y/N! Hey...” he replied, his voice trembling slightly.

The unfamiliar man now beside him glanced between the two of you uncertainly, but his eyes finally landed on you. His smile seemed a tad strange, but it was endearing in its own way nonetheless.

“Guillermo,” he said, revealing his foreign accent, though you were more fixated on his eccentric (albeit quite snazzy) outfit. “Who is this?”

“Uh...this is my friend...Y/N.” Guillermo introduced stiffly. He looked over at you. “Y/N, this is...Nandor.”

“My, my, Guillermo,” Nandor murmured. “Your friend smells delectable.”

“Oh, uh, thanks, I guess.” you said sheepishly. “It’s just deodorant, though.”

Nandor looked at you blankly, though he continued to smile. He leaned down to Guillermo, bending his knees awkwardly so his mouth was level with his familiar’s ear.

“Guillermo, why don’t you invite them to the orgy?” he whispered with all the subtlety of a lightning strike. Guillermo’s face fell.

Your eyes widened and you swallowed your saliva.

“An...orgy?” you repeated incredulously. “That’s nice of you...to invite me. But, I’m not really an orgy kind of person. Or a sex kind of person, really.”

Noticing Nandor’s faded smile, you couldn’t help but continue to ramble to this man you barely knew. Heat rose to your cheeks.

“I’m not judgemental!” you blurted, painfully aware of Guillermo’s grimace (though you misinterpreted its meaning). “I’m just asexual...so I’m not really into people...in the sexual way...”

You finally forced your mouth shut.

“Even better.” Nandor declared.

His smile returned, even wider than before. You knitted your brows.

“Um-”

“You do not have to partake in the sexual intercourse.” he insisted. “You can come...for the food. There will be-”

Once again, he leaned down to speak in Guillermo’s ear. Guillermo stared into the lens of the camera. You glanced over at the camera too.

“Guillermo, what do these asexuals eat?”

Guillermo sighed, but his eyes almost lit up when he realised he may have had a way out of this conversation.

“Garlic bread.”

“No! You know that won’t do.” Nandor hissed at him scornfully. “Fucking guy.

“What else?”

“Cake...” Guillermo conceded through gritted teeth

“Cake?” you repeated. “I’m down for cake.”

Nandor grinned and rubbed his hands together in glee. “Cake you shall have, then.”

Once again, Guillermo, less than happy, sent a glare to the camera.

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raggedy-dxctor · 2 years

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I loved your Nandor headcanons! Can you write some headcanons of Nandor with an immortal partner? Thanks!

always happy to provide nandor content <3333

more nandor headcanons !!

pairing(s): nandor x gn!reader

warnings: not proof read

literally dedicates his immortality to you

he makes sure that your everlasting eternity is comfortable in every way he can

takes you on different dates everytime

will literally bring you a body to feed on too, he does not give a single shit if that means he'll go hungry

i feel like there's times in his death where he would literally throw himself into the sun for you

he tells Guillermo and the poor guy is just. mortified

"master- why would you even- no! that's a terrible idea! they'd hate that" "mmmm im not sure Guillermo i think they'd love it and see kt as tje ultimate declaration of love" and theng Guillermo tells you and proves nandor wrong when you just look at the two of them in utter horror and begin lecturing nandor on why that's a fucking terrible iea

loves to watch the moon and the stars with you

finds it so endearing when the two of you go bat form together and fly away

loves to bully laszlo with you, he's scared of nadja though so if you tesse her he'll just go frozen and stay silent, tightening his grip on your hand out of fesr for your life

will not let colin robinson drain you at any cost, like if he feeds on your energy it's on sight

finds it funny when you do what humans would deem risky or fatal shit, but he still feels his heart start beating again when you out yourself in danger, despite the fact that it won't kill you

loves.to learn new rhings with you, like one time the two of you dedicated yourself to learnimg as many languages as you can, which is why nandor csn now speak latin, ancient greek, egyptian, russian, spanish and chinese. he forgets most of them by the next century though

#nandor #nandor the relentless #nandor the relentless x reader #nandor x reader #nandor wwdits #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #what we do in the shadows fanfic

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of-apollo · 10 months

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—> NAVIGATION

—> THE IMPORTANT LINKS:

Masterlist

Wattpad

Ko-Fi

Ship requests

—> WHO I WRITE FOR:

Ted Lasso: Dani, Sam, Jamie + Keeley

MCU: Bucky, Steve + Yelena

PJO: Apollo (God, not Lester)

ASSORTED: Enjolras, Grantaire (Les Mis), Black Noir (The Boys), Miguel O’Hara (Spiderverse)

PLATONIC PREFERRED, I will consider romantic if requested, but generally I like to default to platonic for the following:

WWDITS: Nandor, Guillermo, Nadja, Laszlo

OFMD: Ed, Stede

Good Omens: Aziraphale, Crowley

BBC Ghosts: Any characters!

NOTE: I may add more, but this is what I’m currently 100% comfy writing for! You’re welcome to ask about requesting other fandoms/characters not mentioned here, but I can’t guarantee I’ll write for them!

—> RULES FOR REQUESTING

As a hurt/comfort lover, I am comfortable writing about most sensitive topics.

However, I will NOT write about pregnancy or suicide/self-harm, nor any degree of smut (with the exception of like simple making out).

I will always DM to reject a request, unless it is on anon.

I am happy writing either headcanons or full length imagines, so try to clarify! I’ll usually default to headcanons otherwise.

I use they/them pronouns for all writing unless you request otherwise.

—> RULES FOR MY BLOG:

I’m happy to make friends - my asks are always open for a chat or anything!

I probably won’t close requests often, but requests sent in during closing will be deleted.

A bit about me: I’m Welsh, a history lover and musical theatre nerd. I also love Taylor Swift a whole lot. Talk to me about any of those things, you have my heart.

credit for the red heart dividers used on this blog goes to cafekitsune <3 !

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messy-gemini1 · 2 years

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One who got away

I haven't written for nandor so here you go, I wanna write more of rhim but only if yall are interested. I want more seasons dammit!

warning: angst and cheating, no comfort :3

Nandor has never truly fell in love. Sure, he has his 37 wives and sure he loved them but maybe he never truly loved them as he did Y/n.

Their time together was short. They met Nandor and the others through Guillermo, having been friends for a while. Nandor was enamored by Y/n, it felt like time slowed down for the vampire, everything was fine for him. He was happy, he was...content. nandor and Y/n spent almost every hour together, talking, laughing, going on walks. When nandor slept, the other was working

Nandor could let his emotions out around Y/n, he didn't need to hide how he felt, he didn't feel laughed at or feel ashamed.

But..

good things never last do they.

Gale had returned, and with that so did Nandors feelings for her. He didn't need only Y/n then, he could be happy with both now, couldn't he? No. That's now how the modern day worked for him I suppose.

It wasn't until He had come out of the room he was "busy'' with Gale in did he finally see what he had done. Y/n, their poor frame sobbing into Nadja's dark clothing as she shushed the young thing.

"Hey why the long faces" Nandor spoke, Y/n's form froze, gripping Najdas own tighter in her hand. "nandor you bastard of a goat's baby" she spoke. Nandor only watched, his wives never did this when he was alone with only one of them.

"I-I should head home, I have work in the morning. Good night" Y/n spoke, their voice was hoarse. "Good night, my fine friend" Lazlo said, bowing, trying to keep his friend in high spirits. As the door shut and the footsteps echoes, Lazlo quickly grabbed his wife as she darted for Nandor.

"They poured their heart and soul into loving you, you cow shit for brains!" She hissed, eyes turning gold. "My darling, please calm down!" lazlo tried to reason with the angry vampire but to no avail.

"What did i do? Everyone knows me and gale are an off again on-again thing. They'll be back" nandor said, seemingly nonchalant.

"Um master, in this day and time, if it is not accepted by both parties or couple, it is considered cheating" Guillermo explained. Nandor watched his familiar for a few seconds before shrugging,

"I don't know what any of that means" He said, turning and starting to walk back into his room "fuck-Ing guy" he mumbled.

It wasn't until after Gale had once again left and weeks or months went by with Y/n not showing up did Nandor realize how upset he was. He realized that Gale was never truly right for him. You were.

Nandor would jump every time the doorbell rang hoping it was you, but it never was. Najda had warned him of the consequences of his actions now here he was defeated and no sign of your form.

It wasn't until it was their weekly hunt did Nandor find you again, wrapped in someone else's arms as you laughed and smiled. You seemed so happy.

Your eyes met, Nandor's filled with hope while yours....Yours filled with anger and sadness. You turned your head away from him and tugged your partners hand as a sign of you were ready to leave. Until Nadja spoke up, running to your form.

You smiled at her and let her hug you as much as she wanted, leaving her dark lipstick all over your face. You smiled at her and talked but Nandor refused to move from his space, he could hear you, how happy you sounded with someone else.

Nandor was so inside his head that he didn't notice you approach until you spoke.

"nandor" you said. He quickly looked down, gulping. "You really hurt me ya know.." you spoke, shoving hands into your pockets. "i-i know and I'm sorry please I-" he spoke but you shook your head.

"Sorry doesn't fix it, but...I accept the apology. I'm happy now. I want you to be happy too but, as long as you keep living like you do, Like no one else matters but yourself.. you wont" You spoke, looking up at the vampire.

"Goodbye Nandor" you spoke, and left with your partner, waving goodbye at the rest of the group. Leaving for the last time.

Nandor realized that you were the one that got away, the only one who could ever truly love him for him...

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #nandor the relentless #nandor the himbo #nandor the relentless x reader #nandor x reader #lazlo cravensworth #nadja

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thetempleofthemasaigoddess · 2 years

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Being a vampire and discovering Nandor is your ancestor would involve PART 1:

🦇 You're a young vampire who just moved to Staten Island in search of a fresh start. Your clan was massacred by hunters, and you are looking for a new home, or even just a place to rest for a while.

🦇 You've been wandering the streets, hungry, when you notice a man walking alone in a dark alley; you immediately decide he'll be your dinner for tonight.

🦇 You follow him for a while, ready to pounce... and then you realize you're not alone. There's another vampire who has been following your prey; you almost collide when you try to attack at the same time.

🦇 This is the moment you meet him. You're nervous for a moment, because many vampires wouldn't take kindly on an intruder hunting in their territory, but he surprises you; he looks kindly at you, taking in how hungry and tired you look, and in a whisper he offers you to attack together and then share the prey.

🦇 Which you do. You drink blood until you're pleasantly full, and you're going to thank him for his help and bid him good night, but he stops you, and offers you to come to his place.

🦇 He wouldn't be able to explain why he does that. He is not attracted to you, even though he thinks you're really cute; he rather feels a protective instinct towards you, and not just because you are and look much younger than him.

🦇 He wants to know more about you, and he wants to make sure you're OK. So he offers you to rest at his house, and you decide to accept; you're usually wary of strangers, vampires and humans alike, but instinctively you know you can trust him.

🦇 “Well… if you really don’t mind. I am (name), by the way”. “It’s very nice to meet you; my name is Nandor, Nandor the Relentless”. “Do I have to call you that, or is Nandor enough?”

🦇Thankfully Nandor’s housemates like you as much as he does; they let you stay the day, and find you some new clothes since you've left your previous home bringing next to nothing with you because of the imminent danger and you've mostly been surviving stealing cash and clothes from victims.

🦇 You still have daymares about what happened to your clan, and usually the only thing you can do is wait they pass, and then hopefully go back to sleep, or remain in your coffin, waiting for the sundown, desperately trying to think about something else. The second day after your arrival at the Staten Island residence, though, you decide to get up and go watch TV, hoping it will calm you and take your mind out of it.

🦇 Instead, you meet Nandor, likewise a victim of insomnia; after a moment of mutual embarrassment, he offers you to check some daytime TV together; you end up with your cheek on his shoulder, giggling while you watch the re-runs of some old soap-opera. In the end, you confide in him, telling him about your daymares and that sometimes, no matter how calm and in a good mood you are, you just can’t help thinking about the friends you have lost.

🦇 “It would have been better if I had died already, grief and solitude are even worse than death” you comment sadly, and Nandor’s reaction is… unexpected. You thought a great warrior like him would berate you for such sentimentality, or simply tell you that everybody loses people they care for sooner or later, therefore you may as well get used to it and mourn in the privacy of you heart. He doesn’t.

🦇 “I wish I could tell you it gets better, or that there’s a sure way to eliminate pain and sorrow, but it would be a lie” he confesses, an arm that has settled on your shoulder without any of you realizing; it’s nice, you think once you do, it makes you feel safe “The loved ones you lose stay with you forever, and perhaps it’s a good thing; I’d rather remember than forget, even if it makes me sad. Maybe it’s up you, you know? You need to learn to keep them in your heart putting aside the pain and the grief; remember the good things and forget the bad ones”.

🦇 It’s a really unexpected, but very wise, advice; you’re not sure whether you’ll ever be able to follow it, but you thank Nandor for his help, and he’s happy to see you’ve calmed down. You could go back to sleep, but you decide to stay, and watch TV next to him until dawn. None of you says much, but it feels nice, you think, like you don’t have to; it’s nice to have found a friend.

🦇 You get along well with Nandor’s housemates, so well they don’t want you to leave. A one-day stay soon becomes two and then three because "oh, tomorrow we 're doing this and this, you must absolutely come" and before you know it, you're part of the family.

🦇 Nandor is the most adamant about you staying. You try to convince him that you're old enough to take care of yourself, like you've already done for more than a century; you don't want to impose on him and the others, and you can find your own place in town or elsewhere.

🦇 You might as well be talking to the wall. Nandor, who in his heart can't stand the thought of you leaving, and doesn't understand why, decides that Staten Island is no place for a young vampire to live alone. He has Guillermo steal a coffin for you from a local funeral home, and put it in the house's spare room.

🦇 You trust him. The fact that you're both vampires doesn't necessarily mean that his intentions are pure, and you're used to be wary of people you don't know well, but with him... With him is different. You wouldn't know how to explain it, but you know he only has your best interest at heart, that he worries for your well-being, even though he barely knows you, and that he doesn't plan to hurt you or bother you in any way.

🦇 Also, you don't want to leave, and not only because it's so nice to be in a comfortable house with other vampires after a year on the road, alone, constantly looking behind your shoulder fearing that the hunters have finally found you.

🦇 You want to stay because of Nandor. You feel... an attraction towards him, though there's nothing sexual or romantic in it; it reminds you of how you felt with the other members of your clan, a feeling of home, almost of family, which makes no sense, since you practically just met. Anyway, you feel a certain sympathy towards Nandor, and it's nice to find someone who cares for you, after a whole year of solitude.

🦇 Less than a week after your first meeting you have a new home, and a new best friend; your life has changed for the better since the moment the two of you almost collided while hunting the same prey, and you couldn't be happier.

🦇 🦇 🦇

Hello everyone! This is my first time writing on Tumblr, so I’m quite nervous! I don’t know whether I’ll write anything else, but it’s nice I was able to finish it. English is not my first language, so please forgive any mistake.

This is part one of three.

#What We Do in the Shadows #Nandor the Relentless #Kayvan Novak #Nandor the Relentless would involve #Nandor the Relentless x reader #Bellona's stuff

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thelooneytoon · 3 months

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POV:

Your camera roll as the Gen Z vampire of the WWDITS Staten Island pod.

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multifandomfix · 1 year

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Introducing Nandor To Your Favorite Music Would Include

Nandor wants to experience all of what makes you, you, so listening to your favorite music with you is definitely a prospect that excites him.

Even if it’s far outside of the music he himself enjoys, he gives it a fair chance.

You’ll be able to watch his face contort into funny expressions as he adjusts to whatever your preferred genre is.

After a song or two, you’ll see him start to get into it a little, bobbing his head or tapping his foot to the beat.

And if only because it’s for you, he’ll soon throw himself into the music and get up and dance, even if his dancing isn’t exactly fitting to the music or that good in general. But as long as you’re willing to dance with him, then he’s happy.

For anon

Nandor: @locke-writes, @upstartcrow42, @fog-on-the-moon, @gothtrash6969, @akeldamasemele

#nandor #nandor the relentless #nandor headcanons #nandor the relentless headcanons #nandor x reader #nandor the relentless x reader #what we do in the shadows #what we do in the shadows headcanons #wwdits #wwdits headcanons #request

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nanawritesit · 9 months

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WWDITS Headcanons: You Having the Opposite Aesthetic of Everyone Else at the Vampire Residence (fem!reader)

tw: vampires, blood, corpses, mentions of killing, mentions of virgins, immortality

you were brought into the house to work as nadja and laszlo’s familiar

after having so many familiars die on the job, they had pretty much lost hope that they would ever find one that was right for them

so when you of all people, with your brightly colored hair, glittery makeup, long nails, and hot pink platform boots, were still around after a few weeks, they knew you were special 💞

of course they had their doubts at first, thinking you were much too soft for the job based on your cute aesthetic, but you surprised them with how tough you were

you had no problem finding them victims, cleaning up blood stains, and disposing of corpses. the promise of eternal life was much too great for you to give up because of some gore

nadja is overjoyed to have another woman in the house, and quickly becomes more of a bestie than a boss (as long as you do all of your duties as a familiar too)

she requires you to attend weekly “girls nights” with her, the guide, and mini nadja, but even if they weren’t mandatory, you’d happily go along

sometimes you’ll get all dressed up and go clubbing, taking everyone’s drinks for them since they can’t ingest human food

you stick out like a sore thumb in your pink sequin mini dress and heels, the rest of them shrouded in black lace, but you have an amazing time regardless. they really know how to party!

but sometimes you just have sleepovers where you watch mamma mia and talk shit about all the men in the house

laszlo didn’t take you seriously at first. he never really saw the appeal of having a familiar, thinking he got along just fine without one, but wanted to please his good lady wife

he could never understand how nandor was so attached to guillermo. he was just some human who followed him around and did his bidding

that was, until you came along

he found it was really nice to have someone to practice his music with, to organize his library for him, to help him into his coffin every night… and after a while he really grew quite fond of you

which scared him, because he knew how fragile human life was

but that only made him want to keep you under his wing more, to protect you until the day him and nadja decided to turn you

they love having you accompany them on their nightly walks, carrying their parasol behind them as they bask in the moonlight

they’re super protective of you, especially from people who assume you’re an easy target because of your looks

like, if anyone tries to mess with you around them, lazslo will yell at them to go fuck off, and nadja will practically go feral and rip their heart out

you’ll have to BEG her not to hurt them for her to even CONSIDER letting them go 💀

nandor pretty much falls in love with you upon first sight

he absolutely adores your style, loving how unique it is compared to anyone else he knows

he tries and fails to flirt with you all the time while you’re working, until nadja eventually yells at him to leave you to your chores, and he’ll scuttle away bc he’s scared of her 😀

he sometimes asks you to do his makeup like yours, saying he wants to “glitter like twilight”

his undead heart stops when you lean close to his face to do his eyeliner 🥺

he desperately wants to ask you out but is terrified of what nadja would do to him should you agree

she thinks you’re MUCH too good for him

he eventually goes to laszlo for help, since he’s such an “expert” on modern women 💀

he agrees to help him, but tells him that if you guys start dating and he hurts you, he’ll kill him 😗

guillermo is honestly just so thrilled to have another human in the house to sympathize with him 😭

the two of you quickly become partners in crime, dragging bodies down the stairs together and recruiting virgins for your vampires to feast on

he also wouldn’t hesitate to slay any vampire who tried to feed on you

you always stick up for him when the vampires aren’t taking him seriously, which helps since they all value your opinion tremendously

nandor gets a bit jealous when he finds out that you and guillermo get lunch together everyday 😭

guillermo admittedly gets a bit jealous when you’re turned into a vampire before he is, but is obviously very happy for you

but since nandor has such a soft spot for you, you’re able to convince him to turn guillermo sooner :) that way you can be a big happy vampire family forever

collin robinson thinks you’re quite entertaining, although he gets frustrated at the fact that you somehow always dodge all of his attempts to drain your energy

when you go out on the town with everyone, you have major scary dog privilege

when you walk by, people see a pretty pink princess 💞

and then they see the three huge, dramatically dressed vampires, one emotionless suited man, and one monster slayer walking behind you and they’re like oh shit nvm 💀

#what we do in the shadows #wwdits headcanon #nandor the relentless #laszlo cravensworth #nadja of antipaxos #guillermo de la cruz #collin robinson #wwdits x reader #what we do in the shadows scenarios #what we do in the shadows fanfiction #nandor x reader #wwdits

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teagballs · 4 months

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hi, lovely! i saw you’re taking requests and would love to request a nandor x reader from wwdits! 💞 maybe the house gets a new neighbor and she goes over there one night for cookies to introduce herself and it’s like a love at first sight for him? i would love to see what you come up with! :)

love at first sight - nandor the relentless

authors note: HIIII loved this request so much oh my god it was so fun to write tysm. i love nandor sm. KEEP SENDING REQUESTS!! im free to write more over the christmas break. i hope u guys have an amazing christmas, love yall.

cw: none! sweetsweet fluff. gender neutral reader. -------------------------------------------------------

You had recently moved into your new home. A comfortable house in a quiet area of Staten Island. It was a lovely place to live. Not too lonely yet not too popular - just how you liked it. After a couple days of moving your belongings into your new home and shuffling them around, you decided it would be best to introduce yourself to the neighbours. Everyone seemed friendly, some smiled on the street as they watched you gracelessly drag your new furniture into the house. You wanted to be involved in the community, make a friend of your acquaintances. So far, you have been successful. Your method? Bringing freshly baked goods to your neighbours. The way into peoples hearts was their stomachs.

After next introducing yourself to the neighbours opposite you - inhabited by a quirky couple named Sean and Charmaine - you were encouraged to talk to the residence on their right.

"Yeah, they're a strange bunch, but some of my best pals! European or somethin'." Sean explained.

According to the pair, there was a group of 5 neighbouring them. They spoke highly of them.

Charmaine cut in, "Oh, but y'know what? I never see them out during the day. They must all work bad hours, I think. You'd be better going in the evening time." Strange, you thought, but only for a moment. This actually worked out better. It gave you more time to prepare some confectionery.

By the time you approached the house, the sky had already faded to an amber and rose colour. The house had an overbearing presence. It was like something out of a book. On the walk to the door, you were greeted with bushes; trimmed and perfected into intricate shapes. Some of animals, some of what looked to be... genitalia? Huh. European. You note the cobble stairs leading up the entry, supported by two pillars. A deep tangerine colour shot from the stained glass windows onto the grass, it didnt seem like it was providing much light in the house as it dimmed and died on the lawn. The whole building seemed to be almost secretive. It was dark, like it was trying to hide away. You took a deep breath, holding your tupperware of cookies close to your chest. You rapped on the door.

After striking the surface of the door, you were met with silence. Then what sounded like a groan? Then a word. Maybe someone's name? You awkwardly shuffle in place as you wait. Finally, you could make out a shape approaching the door. You straightened your posture. The door creaks open, quietly.

"Hi, um, who are you?" The stranger asks in the politest way possible. From what you can make out from the dim lights of the house, he appears to be a shorter, stout man. He's wearing circular glasses and a sweater that reminds you of something your grandfather would wear. It's an overall comforting appearance. Judging the exterior of the house, you were worried someone evil and dark lived there. But that was not the case, it seemed.

You give the man your name, "I just moved in a couple days ago, I'm trying to get to know all the neighbours, I brought these," You awkwardly gesture to the tub of cookies in your hands. The man smiles at you kindly.

"How sweet, I'm Guillermo." He tells you. But before the pleasantries can continue, you are interrupted. The sound of heavy, heavy boots fills your ears. Striding down the hallway.

"Guillermo! Who is it that is at the door! They have awoken me from my slumber far too early!" A gorgeous man with long dark hair stands behind Guillermo now. He looks sleepy, his hair disgruntled. He's wearing some strange attire, nothing like you had ever seen before.

Guillermo gestures towards you, "Our new neighbour came over to introduce themself."

Nandor snaps, "A new neighbour!? Who gives a fuck about..." Oh? Oh.

It was only now that Nandor took notice of who was standing at the door. And how beautiful they were. He tugs on his clothing, trying to make him look presentable.

He clears his throat, "And your name is?" He asks. You note his accent, which makes every word spoken from his mouth seem more lavish and captivates you further. You meet his gaze and tell him your name. You have to pull away, however, fearing that you could get lost in his umber orbs forever and ever. He's fidgeting his hands, you notice. It's adorable. His fingers are looped with an assortment of rings.

"A beautiful name," he remarks, almost to himself. Flustered, it was your turn to fidget now, as you massaged the fabric of your jeans. Guillermo rolls his eyes. He knows.

"I'm Nandor the Relentless," The long haired man tells you. Strange title, but you are too wound up to notice. He could say the most absurd thing, and you will still be enamoured, it seemed.

"I, um, brought cookies!" You exclaimed, snapping out of your trance but a little too excited over some baked goods. Nandor the Relentless matches this excitement, however.

"How wonderful. I will enjoy these later, I imagine they are delicious!" He muses.

Gulliermo mutters to Nandor, "Nandor, you can't even eat human food." And Nandor quickly snaps back, "Shut up," all out of earshot to you, however.

You're dazed. So is Nandor. Even with his 36 wives, he had never felt such a connection. With this, you both found it hard to reach your next sentence. You stammered out, "Sorry if I uh, woke you up, your neighbour said you worked a late shift? So I thought coming in the evening would be better." You smiled.

"Late shift? No, I was slumbering-!" Gulliermo lightly shoves Nandor, to shut him up.

"That's right! Nandor was sleeping, just about to wake up for work." He smiled, covering for him.

Nandor catches on, "Oh! Yes! I have just awoken to start work at my normal human job. At the railroad."

You giggle at his manner of speaking. A railroad worker works late shifts? You had never figured.

"Oh! Cool! Well, yeah, I just wanted to introduce myself to all the neighbours and bring a little gift." You gesture to the cookies again, Nandor takes them finally. Maybe he was a little reluctant to take them from your hands as he worried you would disappear after. Your fingers lightly grazed his, a touch that lasted a little longer than average for such an exchange, but you still wish it continued.

Although you didn't want to leave and it felt like you were being pulled to stay, you decided it would be best not to intrude any longer. Especially if Nandor had to start work soon. "Yeah! So um, I hope to see you 'round. Have a good evening." You flashed another big smile and thumbs up.

"Yes! I do hope to see you around!" Nandor held an even bigger smile at you. It made your heart warm.

You turned on your heel and walked back to your house. It was only then when you were filled with dread. 'Why the fuck did I give him the thumbs up!?" You externally cursed. You were going to overthink this whole exchange all night. God you hoped to see Nandor again. In your heart you knew you would.

#nandor x reader #nandor the relentless #what we do in the shadows x reader #wwdits x reader #what we do in the shadows #wwdits #x reader #requests #anonymous #anon ask #fanfic

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mothguillotine · 6 months

Text

Hey Siri, Can Vampires Get Cucked?

"So it didn't go as well as I had hoped it would," you tell the camera thinking about the fact that Oscar ran away from you a week ago, "I was really hoping that I would be able to get Oscar to understand but now I'm realizing that it's possible that hypnosis was probably a better option and that knocking him out and kidnapping him was aggressive."

"The one good thing about the whole situation is that Nandor has finally started to warm up to me," you say, "he has actually spoken to me everyday. Actually I wouldn't say warming up to me is the correct term. I honestly have no idea what changed after Oscar left the other day." When you finish up your interview with the crew you return to your bedroom to do some reading.

Down stairs though Nadja is sat in front of the camera. She looks exasperated and when she speaks its present in her voice as well.

"I have been trying to get Nandor to grow some balls and ask her out but I have yet to have any success," she tells the camera, "I have watched Nandor follow her around for the last two weeks like a lost little puppy. I am sick of it."

"So I have devised a plan to get him to admit that he wants her," she says deviously, "Both of them have yet to truly talk and this will fix that. Of course Laszlo has a different approach."

"My idea is to shove them both in a room until something is either sucked, fucked, or cucked." Laszlo says as he sits down next to his wife.

"Cucked?" Nadja asks, "Why would this end up in cuck?"

"I mean you never know what could happen in there." Laszlo says looking suggestively into the camera while Nadja makes a face behind him.

"Well, we decided to mix our ideas together," Nadja says, moving the conversation forward, "We will lock them in a room together until Nandor confesses."

"Yes, and if it results in someone getting sucked, fucked, or cuck-" Laszlo starts to say until Nadja cuts him off.

"Laszlo!" Nadja yells at her husband, "This is about Nandor and his feelings. Not about you."

"Yes, I'm sorry my love," Laszlo apologizes to her but when they go to leave he turns back to the camera when Nadja is out of earshot and says, "If it results in anything sexual I will be a most willing participant."

_________________________________________

A little while later while you are reading you hear your name being called by Nadja.

"Nadja?" you call out.

"In here!" she yells. When you find her she is in Nandor's bedroom.

"Hey, what's up?" you ask her, " and why are we in Nandor's room?"

"One second sweetie," she says to you, "I will be right back."

You sit down on the chair in front of Nandor's coffin and for about ten minutes you wait until you hear someone in the hall outside the door. The door is quickly opened and Nandor is shoved in. As fast as the door opens its closed the next second and when Nandor rushes to open the door it doesn't budge.

"Laszlo!" he yells, "Open this door right now!"

When he doesn't get a response he starts yelling for Guillermo. You can hear nothing through the door though.

"Nandor?" you ask, "What's going on?"

Nandor turns around to look at you and immediately starts banging on the door again yelling for Laszlo to let him out.

"Just get it over with then I will let you out!" Laszlo yells through the door.

Nandor knew exactly what he was talking about. A few days ago Nandor had confided in Laszlo about how he found you beautiful and how badly he wanted you. In all honesty it reminded Laszlo of himself falling in love with Nadja. That's why he had forced this confrontation.

You on the other hand had no idea about what any of this meant. While you definitely didn't mind being trapped in Nandor's room with him you were confused. A few days ago Nadja had confronted you about what you felt towards Nandor and in all honesty since he started talking to you, you have developed a bit of a crush on him.

Nadja had pressed and pressed until you had admitted it to her and you made her swear not to tell anyone, which, to your knowledge she had kept. What you and Nandor don't know is that they had been conspiring to get their friends together.

"So, uh what was that all about?" you ask Nandor.

"You know Laszlo, he is my best friend but he is not the smartest." he says and laughs awkwardly.

"Nandor, what did he mean to get it over with?" you ask, you are honestly a bit worried that Nadja had told Laszlo and in turn he had told Nandor that you like him.

"Nothing," Nandor says, "He meant absolutely nothing."

"Nandor, whatever it is you can tell me." you tell him, Nandor turns from the door and faces you.

"I- its nothing." he tells you.

"Well it's obviously something or else we wouldn't be locked in here." you tell him.

"It's nothing," Nandor insists, "stop doing that."

"Stop doing what?" you ask him.

"Looking at me like that," he says frustratedly, "I can't deal with it."

"Okay, I am very lost." you tell him, "How am I looking at you?"

"You- nevermind," Nandor says, returning to banging on the door.

"Nandor!" you yell at him and when he doesn't turn to face you, you march forward and turn him around to face you, "Tell me."

You both stand still, this is the closest to him you've been since the first time you met. He looks down at you and a split second later he is kissing you. It surprises you for a second but once you get into it you are kissing him back, the kiss is sweet and short. When you both finally break apart you can't help but smile.

"Is that it?" you ask him.

"What?" Nandor asks, still a bit out of it.

"You just wanted to kiss me?" you ask, "That's it?"

"Well I wouldn't say I just wanted to kiss you but yes." Nandor says looking down at you.

"Do you wanna do it again?" you ask him and before you know it you are kissing again, this time though more passionately than before. His hands find your waist and you bring one of your hands up to his face. You both break away for a moment then resume your activities. One of Nandor's hands is making their way up the back of your shirt.

"Do you wanna-" You start to ask Nandor.

"Yes," He tells you.

"You don't even know what I was going to say?" you tell him smiling.

"Whatever it is. I want to do it." he tells you.

"Really?" you ask him, "Just like that?"

"Just like what?" he asks you confused.

"Nevermind, I was just gonna ask if-" You start to say but are interrupted by Laszlo.

"Nadja is starting to get what the humans refer to as 'hangry'," Laszlo says through the door, "We must leave now or she will become violent."

"Okay, Laszlo we will be right there." Nandor says, "I shall talk with you later, my sunshine."

_________________________________________

You are currently sitting down in front of the camera and honestly you have no idea what to say. Oscar hasn't returned any of your texts or calls and the whole situation with Nandor you still haven't talked about with him yet.

"The last week has been pretty crazy," you finally started, "I mean I don't even honestly know where to start but I'm starting to get the hang of the vampire thing. I hypnotized for the first time yesterday night, some security guard stumbled across us while we fed."

After you and Nandor had been freed from his room you had both been unable to speak with each other about what happened. As soon as you had left Nadja stole you to make sure you looked fabulous for your first official hunt. For the last two weeks Guillermo had brought you humans to feed on and now you were actually going to attempt to get one for yourself.

"We decided to go out by the bars and get any drunks who we stumbled upon," you tell the camera, "I wasn't told though that if you drink the blood of someone who is intoxicated that you also feel the effects. When I was still alive I was notorious at being a lightweight. Unfortunately, that carried over to my vampire life. If I was still able to be bruised my legs would definitely be covered in them."

You could honestly barely remember the night prior after you had all drank two humans. The security guard had happened early enough where you could remember it but a lot is missing.

Nadja and Laszlo had yet to leave their room and you haven't seen Nandor either. You were anxious that you may have come on too strong but you also knew that he did feel the same way. So it just honestly confused you. When you are dismissed by the crew you head to your bedroom.

Down the hall Nandor had tried on most of his clothes and still had not found the perfect outfit. Guillermo had been helping him try on and rate different outfits but after Nandor had tried on the same shirt and 3 slightly different pairs of pants he resigned himself to waiting till his master was ready.

"I honestly have no idea what is going on with him." Guillermo whispers into the camera.

"Ta-Da!" Nador says and Guillermo turns to look at him, "What do you think?"

"Wonderful Master," Guillermo says as Nandor spins to give him a 360° of the outfit, Guillermo turns to face the camera again and with a straight face says, "that is the very first outfit he tried on."

_________________________________________

You, apparently in your drunkness, had repeatedly texted Oscar apologizing over and over. It definitely wasn't the most embarrassing thing you have ever done while intoxicated, but it is definitely up there. For a while you lay on your bed staring up at the ceiling until you hear a knock at your door.

Nandor is standing there when you open the door with a bouquet of flowers. If you weren't confused before you are definitely confused now.

"What is this for?" you ask him and take the flowers from his hands.

"Well I read that bringing flowers to a potential mate is a good gift so I made Guillermo get you some," he tells you, "I hope you like them."

"Oh, Nandor, this is very sweet," you tell him, "Thank you."

"Oh it's nothing," he tells you, "I hope you like them."

"You asked me that already." you tell him smiling.

"Oh, well, bye." Nandor says quickly and leaves. You watch him walk down the hall and look back at the crew, confused, who is filming from the other way.

_________________________________________

"I have put a plan into motion," Nandor says to the camera, "mostly to get Laszlo off my back about my 'feelings' but I believe I have finally found the vampire I want to spend my life with."

You have been getting gifts from Nandor everyday for the past two weeks. At first it started off with simple gifts that anyone could find at a store but then it became more outrageous.

Three days ago he presented you with a gorgeous necklace and the next day he gave you a pair of earrings. Both days you had told him that you didn't need gifts from him but he had insisted.

In all honesty it was uncomfortable to accept the gifts he gave you, mostly because you had no way of getting him anything of the same standard. You loved that he apparently wanted to buy you presents but at some point it had to stop.

Today, as you expected, was no different. Except this time he brought you a bigger box than you had ever gotten before. It was about the same size as a small trunk and when you opened it you found a gorgeous dress, not too dissimilar from one of Nadjas.

"What is this?" you ask him while picking up the dress gently.

"I bought you a dress," he tells you, "I had Guillermo set it all up. He made sure the dress was the right size."

"Nandor, I don't know what to say," you tell him, "Thank you but I don't think I can expect this."

"Why not?" he asks you, "Do you not like the color?"

"No it's gorgeous but I-," you stop and think, "Nandor I really love all the gifts but you can't keep spending money on me."

"Why not?" Nandor asks and he looks kind of offended.

"Because you can't keep spending money on me." you tell him, "Honestly I really do love the gifts but you don't have to do that to impress me."

"I just like giving you things," he says, "seeing you happy makes me happy."

"If you want me to be happy then why don't we spend more time together?" you ask him.

"What would we do?" Nador asks you.

"Whatever we want. We could watch a movie or we could go read or something else. I don't know, whatever you want to do." you tell him.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks and you smile.

"If you want to," you tell him and he goes for it.

His hands find your face right away and you sink even deeper into the kiss. Your hand finds its way into his hair. When you both pull away you realize that you are still standing in your doorway.

"Do you want to come in?" you ask him.

"Yes." Nandor says simply.

When you drag him in the room you slam the door in the faces of the camera crew. As soon as he's in your room you resume kissing again.

This time though it's different, you both know what's coming. His hands start at your waist but slowly make their way up and under your shirt.

"Do you want me to take it off?" you ask him and instead of answering you he just rips it off. As soon as your bra is on full display he gets distracted by kissing your newly accessible skin.

"Nandor?" you ask him, "Do you want me?"

"More than anything, my sunshine." he answers you and the way he looks at you makes you want to melt.

You return to kissing each other and he picks you up to bring you over to your bed. When he sets you down you realize how much more clothing he is wearing compared to you.

"You are wearing too many clothes," you tell him and watch as he takes off the intricate top. When he is done you pull him down on the bed and kiss him again. Nandor goes straight to your bra hooks and takes it off. He pulls away to pay attention to your breasts.

"You are beautiful," he tells you and then kisses down your neck and chest til he gets to your tits. He pushes you down against your bed and starts sucking on your nipple.

"You are really good at this," you tell him and when he switches to the other side, "fuck."

"I have been a vampire since long before this country was found," he tells you.

"So what you are saying is that you have been around the block?" you tease him.

"The block?" he asks you, "I have flown around it."

"It means- you know what nevermind," you tell him, "more important things at hand than this."

You grab the back of his head and bring him down to kiss you. One of his hands starts playing with the hem of your pants while the other cups your left tit. You get the hint and lift yourself up to take off your pants, but before you can move to get them off Nandor does. He takes not just your jeans off but your underwear as well.

Then he dives in and licks along your folds. The shock of him on you has you pulling away until he wraps his arms around your legs and pulls you impossibly closer. Your hands find his hair and you wrap your fingers in it and when you look down at Nandor he starts to suck on your clit.

"fuck," you moan, "don't stop."

Nandor looks at you with his eyes and removes one of his arms from your legs. You suddenly feel two of Nandor's fingers pressing into you. You throw your head back against the bed and moan loudly. When he speeds up his actions you know it's only a matter of time until you come.

"fuck, Nan-nandor, I'm gonna-," you tell him until you feel a third finger inside you and you know it's over.

A wave of spasms run over you and you feel yourself grow wetter than before. Nandor continues to ravish you through your orgasm which makes it really hard to stop a second one from building.

"Nandor," you beg, "fuck me please."

He removes himself from you for a second and says "One more." then he continues to work you towards your second orgasm. This one comes quicker than the one before but it is just as intense. Nandor removes his fingers from you and lips them clean.

When he kisses you you can taste yourself on his tongue. You start trying to pull off his pants and when he stands up off the bed to do so you are greeted with his erect dick.

Around the house you had of course heard all about how he had a massive penis but it still surprised you to know that he was even bigger than you thought. You move to lick the pre-cum of the tip but when you do he moves away.

"Later," he tells you, "I want to fuck you first." He drags your hips to the edge of your bed and looks at you.

You nod and pull him in to kiss you. When your lips meet he starts into you. While he pushes into you the reason he wanted to have you ready becomes obvious, he is massive. Once he is fully seated inside of you he waits a moment. When he pulls away from your lips and starts moving. Slowly.

For a bit you appreciate that he is trying to make sure that you are comfortable but you want him to move.

"Nandor, faster," you tell him, "please."

"Whatever you want my sunshine." he tells you and starts to move faster than before.

You can't help but let out a moan especially when he starts to go even faster. When let out an especially loud one he groans. You start to feel an orgasm approach when Nandors fingers find your clit. He continues to pound into you and move his fingers over the sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Nandor!" you yell when you hit your breaking point and dig your nails into his biceps.

Nandors thirsts become more and more sloppy and you know he is close. You can feel yourself pulsing around him and soon enough he spills into you. When he is done he collapses atop you.

You both lay like this for a minute until you feel Nandor go to move out of you. When he does you feel the mess gather between your legs. He goes to grab a tissue from your nightstand and cleans you up.

After he throws it away he picks you up and moves you to lay on the bed properly. It surprises you for a second but let him do it. He moves to the other side of the bed and joins you in laying down.

His arm snakes around you and pulls you closer to him. You melt into him and feel yourself start to drift off.

Masterlist

#nandor the relentless #nandor the relentless x reader #wwdits nandor #what we do in the shadows #wwdits #nandor the relentless smut #smut #female reader

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