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chrissturnsgirlll222 · 2 months

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second, never first

chris x fem!reader

summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.

warnings - swearing, kissing, use of y/n, BOYS (no smut… for now lol)

word count - 1800+

NOT PROOFREAD

a/n: @matthewsturnioloswifey i have been trying to tag you in my posts but its not finding your account so sorry!!!

chris and i spent the night figuring out way to make annas blood boil, although in the back of my mind i knew it was wrong. i wont make any excuses as to say im in the right for doing this, but you have to see it from both perspectives.

anna only ever saw our friendship as a challenge. she always needed to be on top.

was i envious of her way with boys? one hundred percent.

did i see her as competition? never.

she was my best friend up until she told me to let the door hit me on the way out.

chris and i arrived at school as normal. we got a few stares from people as we were walking in together and we knew immediately anna told everyone. anna had a weird power over the school and could instantly start a rumor about anyone and get the word out, fast.

it came as no surprise me nor chris that we were getting dirty looks, whispered about and giggles as we walked by. this was all apart of our plan. prove anna right.

weird system i know but it made sense to chris. the plan was the ultimately just piss anna off enough to stop harassing us and give up. so we had to play the perfect couple act. for now were just walking in to school and ignoring the stares and moving on with life as a “happy couple”.

“ill see you at lunch.” chris says to me when we get my my bio class. he gives me a peck on the cheek and walks away.

see. simple.

lunch rolls around and we meet up at my car. “y/n your one hell of an actress, every guy on my team is asking when and how did i get you to date me.” he proudly says. “i guess im the best fake girlfriend ever.” i breathe looking straight out of the window of my car with both hands on the wheel. for chris this was all an act, for me i was living out my dream. although none of it was real. i knew this game we were playing was going to end up with my feelings for him stronger than ever.

“are you ok?” he snaps me out of my own head. “yeah sorry, what do you wanna get for lunch?”

after school my phone was flooded with texts of all of my now ex friends calling me a snake, a home wrecker and even going as far to call me a whore. while all of these allegations were true on the outside they could not be farther from the truth.

chris invited me over after school to continue helping him with history since he did well after i helped him the first time. i never anticipated the questions from his brothers.

“you guys arent dating for real are you?”

“how did this even happen?”

“chris how could you cheat on anna?”

“ok you two can calm down, we will explain.” chris says to matt and nick.

“were not actually dating, anna accused us of hooking up behind her back when we had that movie night this weekend. after that y/n went to her house and she was a complete bitch to her so were pretending to be in a relationship to piss her off even more.” chris explains.

“you guys do know how anna works right?” nick asks. “nick i was her best friend for 6 years, so yes i know she will try to destroy me.” i state. “well as long as you both know what your in for im good with it.” nick says clapping. “anna needs to be taken down a notch, i saw how she constantly treated you. all of the guys on our team always asked why you were never available but i now realize anna was constantly lying to them.” matt says.

“what do you mean not available?” i say. “guys would always ask anna if you were available and she would constantly say no. thats why no guys have ever approached you.” chris explains. “chris you knew about this the whole time and never told me.” i ask

“no one ever talked to me about it because we became so close this year. matt told me today.” he defends.

“im so sorry y/n if i knew she was lying to all the guys i would have said something earlier. i completely support whatever you have planned for anna.” he says.

“well thank you for telling me.”

me and chris walk upstairs to get started on the history tutor session. i get out my books and the flashcards i made for him. “these are for you. they cover all of the terms we learned this unit.” i breathe handing them to him. “thanks.” he says giving me a warm smile.

we work on reading the definitions for the flash cards and then i started quizzing him. chris was a fast learner he just never applied himself before.

“civil rights” i ask holding the flash card in front of him. “a right or rule that has to be followed?” he answers unsure of himself. “were getting there.” i smile. “can we please take a break y/n i actually might light all of my leg hair on fire if i have to do this for any longer.” he requests.

“sure, you did a lot better during the second round of cards.” i say trying to encourage him.

“your the only person who makes me feel like i can be smarter, you know that.” he says studying my face.

i just stay still as he keeps starring at me.

“what are looking at.” i say gently pushing his head to the side and we both chuckle. i get up putting away all of the study material and hop back on his bed grabbing my phone from his side table.

chris doesnt move from his position and is just sitting on the edge of his bed very creepily. “what are you thinking about?”

“you have never kissed anyone.” he blurts

“yeah. thats what your thinking about?”

“how are we supposed to convince anyone were dating if your a bad kisser?”

“what.” he is confusing me at this point. “i have to teach you how to kiss y/n.” he turns around to face me. “chris-“ he cuts me off “anna wont believe were dating if we dont kiss in front of her or anyone at school.” he explains.

“ok then teach me.” i confidently sit up.

“well for one you cant sit with your shoulders so tight. you need to relax.” he puts his hands on my shoulders. i drop them and take a deep breath.

there was literally no way i was about to have my first kiss at 17 years old with chris sturniolo. the guy i have been dreaming about for months now. i never anticipated being this scared for someones face to come so close with mine yet here i am, scared as shit of what is about to happen.

“ok just relax your arms around my neck.” he instructs. i follow his lead as he places his hands on my waist and positions himself.

inch by inch he moves closer to my face, i just close my eyes and focus on my breathing. “y/n you need to relax im not going to do anything your not comfortable with. i promise.” he pauses.

“im sorry, im extremely nervous ive never dont this before.” i mumble. i take another deep breath and my mind starts racing.

my thoughts are put to a pause as his lips fall on mine. i immediately tense up, “relax” he says pulling away for a second and goes back in. just a quick peck, this wasnt too hard.

he pulls away and our bodies separate, “are you ok with more?” he asks. i nod in response grinning ear to ear. he smiles and leans back in. he pushes his lips to mine and i move back, “whats wrong?”

“nothing i just dont know what to do with my hands.” i chuckle. “just keep them behind my head for now, you will get more comfortable with them the more we do it.” he says leaning in for more. we continue kissing and i lift my arms up behind him and gently grab either side of his neck. he grabs my waist with one hand and moves the other to my cheek. i tilt my head slightly into his palm and move my hands to his hair. he breathes into the kiss deepening it and then pulls back.

“your good at this.” i blurt out, almost in a haze aa i fein for his lips back on me.

“thank you.” he chuckles and lets go of me “im going to kiss you again but im going to add tongue. dont get intimidated, just follow my lead.” he explains and i nod. he connects our lips again this time the kiss is deeper.

we continue at a steady pace and he places a hand on the back of my head and i do the same. he smiles at my innocence and breathes heavier.

he slips his tongue in my mouth and i gasp at the new feeling and kissed him harder. i move one of my hands on to his chest and use the other to pull us closer. kissing felt like i was cloud nine. i loved it.

he pulls away and i sign at the loss of his touch. he just stares at me while breathing heavy. “am i bad at this?” i ask wondering if thats why he pulled away.

“no kid your great for it being your first time.” he says smiling. “do you think you got the hang on this?” he says. i just shrug my shoulders, he hums in response. “one more cant hurt.” i say eagerly leaning into him. he catches the memo and places one of his hands on my lower back and i hum into the kiss. i move my body slightly closer to his and put my hand on his chest. he slips his tongue in once more and i feel him swipe his tongue along my bottom lip. hungry for more i move my hand under his shirt and move the other on the side of his face and he smiles in to the kiss once more.

ring ring ring

my phone goes off and we pull apart, chris grabs it and shows me that its my mom calling.

any other time she could have called me and she picks right now?

thanks for reading xx

taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @accio326 @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry @stunza @realuvrrr @jennss23 @tubl-mc

a/n: who enjoyed that oneee????

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slut4els · 1 year

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Old Flames 2

omg before i start this second part thank you guys sm for all the support on the first part i love you guys sm and i tried my best to get this out asap!!

contains: !meanellie x !shy/scaredreader, angst, some fluff, some smut, sexual thoughts, alcohol, weed, and i think thats it! lmk if i forgot anything and as always 18+ !!

enjoy lovelys <3

You and ellie barely spoke since saturday. After confessing and hugging for a while you mutually decided to let eachother think in silence.

ellie couldnt stop thinking back to all the times you guys had hung out. what signs did she miss? could she have done something differently? maybe if she told you she was attracted to you maybe you would be together.

You were having similar thoughts, facing the opposite direction as ellie but you decided to text dina.

Dina

12:34 am

y:guess whos my fucking roommate

d:who?

y:ellie.

y:and thats not even the worst part

d: uh oh

d: please dont tell me you did something stupid

y: yeah about that…

y:i kinda told her i used to be inlove with her and thats why i ghosted her.

d: WHAT????

y: I KNOW I KNOW IDK WHAT I WAS THINKING EITHER BUT SHE WAS SURPRISINGLY NICE ABOUT IT LIKE WE HUGGED FOR A WHILE

d: omfg

d: ok whatever just come to my dorm tomorrow morning and we can talk about it while we get ready for the party which you agreed to go to by the way

y: ughhh i forgot about that do i have to go??

d: you promised!!

y: fine ill come over at like 7

d: thank youu and gl with the whole ellie thing.

y: thanks

(end of conversation)

You sighed and put your phone on the charger before deciding you should get some sleep before going to dinas.

you woke up and looked at the flashing red numbers on your alarm clock that read 6:18 AM

you got up and put some sweatpants on along with a hoodie before putting your laptop charger phone and a dress to change into for the party that night into your tote bag. you grabbed your shoes and began tying then when you heard shuffling on the other side of the room

shit you thought to yourself. you really didn’t wanna have to face ellie this morning but she was your roomate after all.

“where are you going this early” she said rubbing her eyes. her voice sounded so raspy, you felt the same butterflies you tried so hard to get rid of senior year but now they were back.

“shit sorry did i wake you up?” you said standing up to look at her ignoring her previous question.

“yea kinda but you didn’t answer my question, where are you going?” she said a little harsher now. “just dinas, ill be back pretty late too so dont wait up” you replied. “oh? and where are you going thats keeping you out so late” ellie replied standing up crossing her arms. she was just wearing a tanktop and sweats, her muscular arms on full display. trying to divert your attention so you wouldnt stare you tried to reply. “just some stupid frat party”.

“oh? well im going to a frat party myself tonight so i guess well both be back late” she said smirking slightly. you rolled your eyes. “yeah ok” you replied turning around and walking to the front door. you opened it but before you closed it again you heard ellie say “you cant pretend nothing happened, y/n” after you heard that you quickly shut the door and started on your way to dinas dorm.

“you need to have an actual conversation with her y/n” dina said. you had spent the last hour and a half talking about your situation with ellie.

“but how i cant even say hi to her without feeling like im going to throw up from how nervous i am” you whined. you could tell dina was tired of listening to you but you didn’t really have anyone else that would put up with it.

“well its gonna happen weather you like it or not, but for now lets focus on your outfit for the party” you knew dina was trying to be helpful by changing the subject but you weren’t completely ready to stop talking about the situation between you and ellie but you complied with dinas request.

“ugh fine, hold on let me get my new dress i bought like two days ago” you showed her the dress. it was black with some glitter and off the shoulder sleeves.

“oh my god it looks amazing! you have to try it on for me” you rolled your eyes before going into the bathroom to change. when you walked out to show dina she opened her mouth slightly with a shocked expression across her face.

“holy shit y/n you look fucking amazing.”

you walked into the party with your hair and makeup done by dina. you made a beeline to the drink table dragging dina with you terrified to see ellie sober. you poured some alcohol from a bottle of straight vodka into a small shot glass sized solo cup.

“jeez slow down” dina said with a slightly concerned look as you downed the first shot and started pouring your second one.

“she said she was going to be here and i cannot be sober when i see her” you said after drinking your second shot.

“well how about you come dance for a bit before you get to wasted” dina spoke as she grabbed your wrist and dragged you into a crowd of sweaty bodies all dancing with the music. after a couple of minutes of pure uncomfort you told dina you were getting another drink. you walked over to the table and poured yourself a cup of vodka and punch and decided to go outside to the patio to get some fresh air.

you stepped outside closing the sliding glass door behind you. it was completely empty which was good. it made it easier for you to think. you sat against the wall and closed your eyes taking a sip of your concoction every once and a while listening to the slight beat of the music coming from inside. you thought about a lot of things, college, classes, but mostly ellie. you knew you couldnt avoid the subject forever, but you wished things could just go back to normal. you both being on speaking terms with no romantic feelings for eachother, but it was a little late for that now, and you couldnt keep pushing ellie away, she was your roomate now but you also missed what you used to have. maybe talking to her would be able to do that, but you still wanted to put it off for as long as possible.

you were deep in your thoughts when you heard the sliding sound of the glass door open. you thought it was dina looking for you so you just said, “yeah yeah i know dina just give me like five minutes and ill go back in” however the voice that you thought belonged to your best friend sounded nothing like her, instead it was ellie. “well im not dina but you should probably go back inside” she spoke.

you were pulled out of your thoughts at the sound of her voice looking over at her as she made her way to sit down next to you.

you already being somewhat drunk you responded to her with a little attitude “what do you want, did dina tell you i was going to be out here or something” “well for one i wasnt looking for you, i didnt even know you were going to be out here, i just came outside to smoke, but it’s probably a good thing i found you, we need to talk” she says pulling out a joint from the back pocket of her jeans. she was wearing acid washed dark blue jeans and a maroon tshirt with a sage green flannel over it. she had her hair in a half up half down bun style and of course, her black converse.

you watched intently as she placed the joint between her lips and lit it, the smell hitting your nose as she inhaled and exhaled the substance.

“you shouldve said something, senior year, i might’ve even felt the same”. she started to speak again. “but what if you didnt?”. “then thats it, atleast we wouldve gotten it out of the way”. you wished that what she was saying was true but you knew better. “dont act like it wouldnt have been a big deal ellie, you and i both know that it would change our entire friendship, plus what about cat?”

there was a moment of silence before ellie spoke again “me and cat broke up after a few months but we werent even dating when you cut me off. we couldve tried it out. we couldve gone on dates and shit. We couldve made it work, even if we decided to just be friends.”

after another moment of silence you decided to say something. “what if we tried just being friends again, we cant really avoid eachother anymore you know since were roomates and shit” you proposed. you didn’t want to be just freinds but after months of not talking you couldnt just ask her to date you. Ellie however wanted you to ask her to be more.

“so just friends? nothing more?” ellie said as she turned to look at you. occasionally glancing at your lips.

“well i mean i just thought-“ you were cut off by ellie. “you thought i wouldnt say yes if you asked me to be more?”. you felt heat rise up to your face as ellie moved slightly closer but enough to the point where your shoulders were touching. “i mean, i-i guess?” you were able to stutter out.

“well what if i told you i wouldve said yes?” as she spoke she moved her face closer to yours to the point where you could slightly feel her breath against you.

“i-i dont” before you could finish you were cut off by her lips lightly pressing against yours. you were shocked for a moment but eventually gave in and kissed her back as she flicked her joint elsewhere. the kiss became more lustful when she slightly bit on your bottom lip and entering her tounge in your mouth when you gasped. you put your hands on the sides of her face to pull her in even more. she pulled you onto her lap and her knee pressed slightly onto your core making you gasp and pull away from the kiss for a moment. you felt your arousal growing as your underwear slowly became wet. you wanted so badly for it to go further but you knew you couldnt do it on the patio of a frat party.

ellie tried kissing you again but you held her shoulders to stop her. “ this is amazing but i think we should go back inside, dinas probably worried by now”

“hmm ok but remember we’re roommates”

—————————————————-——————

A/N

Im so sorry this took me so long to publish but here it is!!! it might be a bit of a longer wait for part three because of school but i will keep you guys updated!! again thank you all so much for the support on the first part im so happy you guys like this series as much as i like writing it!!

#ellie williams x reader #tlou2 #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fic #the last of us #ellie x fem reader #ellie x y/n

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jackmanbj · 6 months

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college stress

summary: jack is trying everything to make sure his girlfriend is stress free and is going to do everything to make it happen.

you had just woken up and you were in the middle of brushing your teeth when you heard jack making his way to the bathroom.

“hi mamas..” you spit the toothpaste out and gave him a kiss “hi baby” “you have school today?” “yes jack, you know this” “cant you miss one day?” “as much as i want to, no baby” “whyy??” “because its going to push me back in my studies!” “baby please.. ill do the work for you” “jack, you cheated off my papers everyday in highschool, and you didnt go to college” “ok?” “you dont know this stuff baby” “hey! im smart!” “not smart enough to brush your teeth before getting in my face.”

you handed jack his toothbrush laughing while he jacked it out your hand.

“and your not smart enough to not kiss me before i brush me teeth!” “oh shut up!”

once you both were done brushing your teeth and washing your faces, you headed into the kitchen to make a quick breakfast for you and jack.

“what do you want to eat jack?” “you” “jackman, i will let you starve” jack started mocking you “oohh jackmann i will let you starve!!” jack said in a extremely high pitched voice. “bitch. im not cooking.”

“wait i was kidding!” “nope! what time is it?” “7:15” “OH SHIT IN LATE!”

you ran to your bedroom and started getting dressed for class, since you were late you just put on some sweatpants and a hoodie and took your hair out the bonnet.

“BABY!” “what jack! i have to go!” “kiss first” you gave jack a peck and tried to rush out the door but he grabbed your hand pulling you back.

“a real kiss our your not leaving” you gave jack a deep kiss and said you loved him and rushed out the door.

around an hour later jack and urban was on the phone and jack was venting to urban.

“yea man, it feels like she doesn’t have time for me anymore, i mean, i get she has her studies and all that but damn” “just call her teachers and beg them to let her pass her classes for tomorrow and explain to then how shes been extra stressed, ect and you want to plan something nice for her and she’ll be back in like 2 or 3 days.”

so jack did just that.

he called every single one of your teachers and they all agreed to give you a free day for mental health.

jack knew you would be home later so he called the restaurant you had your first high school date at and had the whole place reinvented, all tables removed except one, rose petals all over, pink and red lights, and more for after the dinner.

after you got out of your classes for the day you made it back to you and jacks apartments and made your way into the bedroom, you dropped off all your studying sheets and pens onto your desk and made your way to the bathroom.

jack was in the shower getting ready to go out with urban.

“hey baby girl, how was school?” “hi, shitty.” you started getting undressed tossing your clothes into the hamper.

“jack if i tell you one more time, keep your damn clothes in the laundry ben when you take them off!” you said picking his clothes off the floor “im sorry mama” jack opened the shower door expressing for you to get in.

once you got in you turned the water up hotter “AHT! thats to hott!” jack said whining and covering his whole body making his way to the back of the shower.

“your fucking dramatic babe” you turned down the water and jack used his hand as a tester to see if it was good enough.

once you two got out the shower you went to your dresser and put on a undershirt and a pair of jacks boxers while jack got dressed to go out with urban so they could set up your dinner surprise.

“jack where are yall going?” “out to eat while we talk about somethings for the team” “ok baby” you pulled jacks face down by his chin so you could give him a kiss while he fixed his shirt.

“see you later ma” “see you baby.” once jack left you laid down and took a nap.

its was now 8:30pm and jack just texted you.

stinka💕- get dressed in something nice, im picking you up at 9:30

once you seen the message you immediately got up and ran to your closest finding a black dress and some black skinny heals.

you set outfit down and started doing you hair, you had straightened your hair the other day so you put think curls at the end, once you were done with your hair you started putting on your dress, you didn’t want to put on your heels when jack got there.

you started your makeup and was just putting on your setting spray when jack texting you letting you know he was outside.

you quickly put on your heals and grabbed your tote bag, jack was in the car waiting for you looking at you as you speeded to the car.

you got into the car and meet jack holding a bouquet on flowers.

“hi baby” “hi stink” jack leaned over and kissed you handing you the flowers “thank you baby” “of course.”

jack pulled out the driveway and started driving towards the restaurant.

“jack where are we going?” “you’ll see” jack pulled up at the restaurant and you immediately realized where you where.

“JACK YOU REMEMBERED!!” “of course i did mamas.”

jack got out the car rushing over to your side to help you out the car.

jack opened the door for you and helped you out his truck.

you both made your ways inside and you sat in the middle of the restaurant, where jack had it set up.

as you looked around you started to cry “oh no no no mamas dont cry!” jack started wiping your tears softly with his thumb.

“im sorry j, its really pretty” “its all for you mamas, no one else”

eventually you both ordered and started making your way back to the car.

“we got one more place to be at” “jack.. i have class tomorrow..i cant stay out this long” “no you dont, i called in sick for you, easy A in all your classes” “JACKMAN THOMAS HARLOW!!” “what?? what i do??” “why in the world would you do that?!” “because baby, you look so stressed, you have little time for me and absolutely no time for yourself. that she needs to stop, understand?” “mhm”

once you started driving to a route you had never been on you started asking questions about where you were going but every time you got the same answer “you’ll see”

jack arrived at a lake and you both made you way to the too right by the railings.

you and jack were talking for a little until he randomly got up and went in front of you.

and got down on one knee.

“jack..” “y/n y/m/n, i have loved you since we were 14, i want the best for you, your the sweetest person i have ever met. you put yourself before anyone else, you make it your priority to make sure everyone is safe even if you dont get the same treatment, i want to be the one who makes sure your safe when no one else does, i want to make sure im always going to be the person thats there for you, whose going to make sure your ok, whose going to stand up for you, please baby.. let me be that person? y/n y/m/n.. will you marry me?” “YES YES JACK OH MY GOD!!” jack jumped up picking you up spinning you around before placing you back down and sliding the ring onto your finger.

“i love you stink” “forever and always?” “forever and always” you pulled jack down and gave him a kiss on his nose while you both made your way back home.

you ended your night in one scary movie then cartoons so you and jack hopefully wouldn’t have nightmares.

#jack harlow x reader #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x you

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squipdop · 1 month

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HIIIII CAN I ASK ABOUT THE SIX YEARS LATER AU???

Howd they bring up the junior scouts idea to max??? Was he like Whatever sure or super tsundere or surprisingly emotional that they wanted him back after he aged out?? Did anyone else come back or do special day-long visits like how schools bring in visitors? What does max think of the new kids? They all look so cool i love Max's hair!!!!

HI HI HELLO YES OFC!!! :33

Okay so. I call it the '6 years later' AU but technically i have Stuff Planned for all the time that passed between now and then too, so this'll be a bit longer, sorry!!

Max joining the counselor team was actually kind of a natural/gradual development?? Basically, since I can't make CC content that isn't found family Max has a shit home life, and, even if he hates to admit it at first, the three months of summer camp become his bright spot each year. David and Gwen catch on to that, but there isn't much they can do to help outside of camp - until one day Max (age 13/14ish) shows up on Gwen's doorstep because he ran away from home, 'since his parents won't care either way'. While he does return home after hiding out at Gwen's place for a weekend, this kind of kicks off a pattern of Max running away sporadically, to Gwen's, later David's, or his friends places. I could go into more detail here but. this is already long. oop.

ANYWAYS. So with Max spending basically all the time he can away from home and the summers at camp, once he ages out there's. A Bit of panic starting in him once summer gets closer again, because his Safe Place seems inaccessible, and two of his OTHER options, especially for longer stays away from home, would also be unavailable. Gwen and David notice this (it manifests in Max staying over More but Angrier) and try to find a solution. Gwen proposes the Jr Counselor idea. They introduce the idea to Max by kinda implying that workload around camp is a lot, and it'd really hurt to miss one of their most experienced campers, but... maybe, if he worked there too (well, interned. basically unpaid. but! no camp tuition!) he could help them? so they basically give Max a way to say yes without admitting that he's the one who needs camp the most. He does insult the whole thing ofc, and says like he's just doing it because he knows camp would burn down without him there ("actually, most of the fires we had were started by you...?" "shut it, david") but secretly he's really really happy. He might even thank them later that evening. Quietly. Before complaining about it preemptively. <3

WAH THATS ALREADY SUCH A WALL OF TEXT ok ill hurry up w the rest:

While most of the other campers had some rotations over the years, I don't have conk rete plans for most of them - Nikki and Neil are still Max' gang, and returned for multiple summers, if not all. This year though, Neil is busy with college prep, and Nikki is spending the summer at home because of family crisis. They still video call a lot, they're still The Gang. I have sketched designs for them, but I'm not quite happy yet.

Max at first doesn't take his role seriously, because he's basically just Back For Another Summer, but pretty quickly realises Gwen and David DO have expectations, and DO give him responsibilities. He takes a while to come around on his new relationship to the younger kids, and especially one of the youngest kids takes a liking to him, a very anxious young girl, which annoys him at first, but... well. It's a whole ~character arc~ for Max waiting to happen tbh.

OK THANK YOU IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR IM SORRY ITS SO LONG. i wasnt lying when i said i have So Many Thoughts about this. ANYWAYS as thank u for getting this far heres a doodle of Max putting up his hair. :3c

#Camp Camp #Camp Camp Max #Camp Counselor Max AU #<- the AU tag #Nudel draws stuff #bitt-better

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toadprose · 2 months

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An Exchange of Endearments;

The one where a stolen phone united two people who were destined to meet. A story told through text messages.

☎ w.c: 3,1k

☎ pairing: ghost x soap // simon riley x john mactavish

☎ rating: pg

☎ archive of our own: link here

☎ genre: silliness, humor, fluff

☎ warnings: mention of an inappropriate app but only by name

☎ author's note: hello :) i wanted to experiment with writing a story in a different format. it's mainly just silly. there's only 3 chapters rn. i'm testing out different ways to end this fic but there will definitely be more chapters to come. thank you for reading! ALSO!! the plan was to have tho WHOLE fic like those imessage screenshots but they take too long to make and i am lazy so pls just use ur imagination

Soap: dumbass. how many times u gonna drop ur phone at exfil? this is the last time i’m saving ur new number, gaz. venmo me $6 for the tea or i’ll give it to that hot dog cart guy.

???: ?

???: Wrong number.

Soap: fuck. sorry, lad.

Soap: wait. this is gaz’s number. what the hell?

Soap: how did u get this phone

???: I stole it from a drunk guy in a bathroom.

Soap: …

Soap: what the fuck, man?

???: I think he left his phone there.

???: And I need one.

???: This works out fine.

Soap: where tf r u, i wanna yell at u

Soap: and ask if u want any help getting back home. were u drinkin too?

???: Why would I tell a complete stranger where I am?

Soap: fair enough.

???: Why do you care about the well-being of me, a phone thief?

Soap: im a big brother. always looking out for the little guys. even when theyre stealing phones.

???: I am not little.

Soap: ok then, big guy.

Soap: i know we just met and all, but maybe take ur new phone and get somewhere safe tonight. dont sleep on a park bench. or a strangers bed.

???: Who do you think I am, a hobo? I have a very nice home.

Soap: then why tf did u steal a phone in the first place?

???: Because I wanted one.

???: I did not have any money on me.

Soap: well now u do, so buy a fucking phone, mate.

???: But this one works fine.

Soap: and im not sure that the owner agrees with u

???: He will live.

Soap: not the point.

???: If he can afford this type of phone, he can afford another one.

Soap: not my argument

???: Are you saying I should buy my own phone?

Soap: yeah. thats literally what im saying.

???: But why, when this one is free.

Soap: jesus christ

???: And you can Venmo me the money instead.

Soap: ill venmo u my foot up ur arse.

???: I will pay you back.

???: You do not have to be mean.

Soap: how did u make me a dick in this conversation. i was trying to help.

???: Well, I still have the phone.

Soap: yea. but at what cost.

Soap: u got a name, phone thief?

???: Ghost.

Soap: is that ur name or are u hiding.

Ghost: Yes.

Soap: ok im calling the cops

Ghost: Please do not.

Ghost: I can explain.

Ghost: I can be normal.

Soap: not what i asked.

Soap: im joking. im not a cop.

Soap: but seriously, ghost. what the hell are u doing?

Ghost: Living.

Soap: not a lot of living happening in the bathroom of a bar, lad.

Ghost: I needed a new phone.

Ghost: And the bathroom was very clean.

Soap: thats it. im gonna go find u.

Soap: if u wont listen to reason then at least give me ur location.

Ghost: I would prefer if you didn't.

Ghost: I don't really enjoy meeting new people.

Soap: ur stuck with me now. i wanna meet the man who stole my mate's phone in a public restroom.

Ghost: Please, don't.

Soap: too late, i got u in find friends.

Ghost: WHAT

Ghost: WHY

Ghost: HOW

Ghost: WHEN

Ghost: DO NOT

Soap: relax, im joking.

Ghost: This is not funny.

Soap: a lil bit funny.

Ghost: Fuck you.

Ghost: Do not text this number again.

Soap: too bad.

Soap: this is my new favorite thing.

Ghost: This is not an entertainment device.

Soap: u made it into one when u took the phone.

Ghost: I should have stolen your phone.

Soap: yea. u prolly should have.

Soap: maybe u still can.

Ghost: No, thank you.

Soap: im so glad to hear ur manners kicked in at the end there.

Soap: i feel better knowing ur not a total dick.

Ghost: That's not what my mom tells me.

Soap: oh god.

Ghost: Sorry.

Ghost: I didn't mean to send that.

Ghost: It was a joke.

Ghost: A bad one.

Ghost: I will never send another inappropriate message.

Ghost: Please stop laughing.

Soap: i cant

Soap: my face hurts

Soap: ur so awkward

Soap: im dying

Ghost: Thank you for your feedback.

Ghost: Now please stop messaging me.

Soap: hey. gaz is rlly sad about his stolen phone. give it back.

Ghost: What is a gaz?

Soap: the drunk guy u stole the phone from a few days ago.

Ghost: That seems like his problem.

Soap: yeah. but if u give him the phone back, he might let me play with his new sniper rifle.

Ghost: Interesting.

Soap: he also has a big bag of jelly beans.

Ghost: I have his phone.

Soap: u wanna come over and trade it for the jelly beans?

Ghost: No.

Soap: :(

Ghost: Maybe.

Soap: yes!!

Ghost: You can have the phone.

Ghost: But only if you take a picture of him holding the jelly beans and send it to me.

Soap: that sounds easy enough.

Soap: do u like black liquorice?

Ghost: No.

Soap: good.

Ghost: ?

Soap: hey

Ghost: This is not Gaz's number.

Soap: i know. it’s urs and we’re friends now

Ghost: No, we aren't.

Soap: yes, we are.

Soap: if ur not gonna give the phone back, at least tell me a name i can put in the contact for this number

Ghost: No.

Soap: just gimme a name. or i'll make one up for u

Ghost: Do not.

Soap: u know what, i think u look like a jack

Ghost: You don't even know what I look like.

Soap: no, but that doesn't matter

Soap: i think i have an idea

Soap: and a friend named jack. it would be hilarious

Ghost: Please, no.

Soap: too late. jack it is

Jack: I don't want to be called that.

Soap: it's a nice name

Jack: You don't even know if I'm a guy.

Soap: are u

Jack: That's not the point.

Jack: It doesn't matter.

Soap: then what's ur name

Jack: If I give you a name, will you leave me alone?

Soap: yeah

Jack: Okay.

Jack: Call me Toad.

Soap: toad???

Soap: ok

Toad: Okay?

Soap: i'm not gonna call u that

Toad: Then why did you say you would?

Soap: why did u say u would give the phone back and then not give it back?

Toad: Fine.

Soap: fine

Toad: Good.

Soap: good!

Soap: hey toad

Toad: Oh my god.

Soap: how are u

Toad: I hate everything.

Soap: what a coincidence. so do i

Toad: How wonderful for us.

Soap: yeah it is.

Soap: u want to hear about the mission i just got back from?

Toad: It’s Ghost, not Toad. And I literally couldn't care less.

Soap: well that's rude. it was very exciting

Ghost: Are you military?

Soap: u know i could have asked for the phone back a long time ago. but i'm not. i'm just a good samaritan who wanted to make sure u got home safe

Ghost: That was a lot of words.

Soap: i had a lot to say

Ghost: Are you always like this?

Soap: yes. anyway, i am military. sort of. i like making stuff explode.

Ghost: What's your rank?

Soap: sergeant. i'm pretty cool.

Ghost: Cooler than most sergeants?

Soap: probably

Soap: but i still wouldn't tell gaz i said that

Ghost: Who is Gaz again?

Soap: i already told u

Ghost: It's been a while. I forgot.

Soap: that's the same as saying u care. i know u care.

Ghost: I don't.

Soap: ok, u dont care.

Ghost: I don't.

Soap: so if i texted u at 3 am to say my roommate accidentally lit my bed on fire, u wouldn't care?

Ghost: That's different.

Ghost: If you're really in the military, you should be able to deal with it.

Soap: wow.

Soap: ur kind of a dick

Ghost: You don't even know me.

Ghost: Besides, I'm not a dick. I'm a ghost.

Soap: lol

Soap: did u just make a joke?

Ghost: I suppose I did.

Soap: nice. maybe i'll forgive u

Ghost: For what?

Soap: stealing a phone

Ghost: Stealing a phone that I found on a public bathroom sink.

Ghost: The same phone that is currently being used to annoy the hell out of me.

Soap: karma is a bitch

Ghost: Is it?

Ghost: Or are you a bitch?

Ghost: maybe both.

Ghost: Sounds like it.

Soap: i'm gonna text u every day.

Ghost: I don't even know your name.

Soap: john mactavish. they call me soap tho.

Ghost: Soap.

Soap: yea

Ghost: Your name is John, and people call you Soap. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Soap: i've heard worse

Ghost: I believe it.

Ghost: How the hell do you get Soap from John, though?

Soap: u could just call me john

Ghost: I will never call you John.

Soap: k

Ghost: Ever.

Soap: nice talk.

Ghost: Don't text me anymore.

Soap: they call me soap bc i clean up real nice

Ghost: I thought we agreed you wouldn't text me.

Soap: oh did we? i don't remember that

Ghost: I hate you.

Soap: <3

Ghost: Was that an emoji? Never do that again.

Soap: but rlly. the reason i'm called soap is bc i set some kind of record time clearing a warehouse in basic and it just kind of stuck

Ghost: Why are you telling me this?

Soap: to help u sleep at night

Ghost: It will not.

Soap: what kind of name is ghost anyway?

Ghost: Not important.

Soap: i've seen some of the guys around here. they aren't ghosts

Ghost: That's the point.

Soap: i bet you have a boring ass name like timothy

Ghost: Don't be ridiculous.

Soap: markus

Ghost: No.

Soap: paul

Ghost: I'm going to block this number.

Soap: okay okay, sorry

Soap: can i call u smthn normal like dave

Ghost: You're not even close.

Soap: damn

Soap: what do i get if i guess it right

Ghost: Absolutely nothing.

Soap: i'm not gonna stop guessing til u give me smthn

Ghost: How about you stop texting me and I won't kill you.

Soap: no ur a nice guy. u wouldn't do that

Ghost: Try me.

Soap: fine, i'll leave u alone for a day

Ghost: A week.

Soap: two days.

Ghost: Four days.

Soap: three

Ghost: Three days and a photo.

Soap: what?

Ghost: A photo of you.

Soap: why?

Ghost: I want to see what you look like.

Soap: why didn't u ask before

Ghost: Because I didn't care before.

Soap: send me a picture of u first

Ghost: No.

Soap: i'll think about it if u do

Ghost: I won't.

Soap: i'll take a bad picture.

Ghost: Why do you have a bad picture of yourself?

Soap: for situations just like this

Ghost: Okay.

Soap: u send one first.

Ghost: No.

Soap: i have pics of u already.

Ghost: What?!

Soap: lol

Soap: not really

Ghost: Don't fucking do that.

Soap: don't threaten to kill me

Ghost: Don't scare me.

Soap: ur not very good at this, are u?

Ghost: At what?

Soap: talking to people

Ghost: It doesn't seem to matter. You're still talking to me.

Soap: i guess it's a gift.

Soap: what would u do if i sent u a pic of myself

Ghost: Nothing.

Soap: that's a lie. u would look at it. perhaps save it to ur camera roll

Ghost: What do you want from me?

Soap: i wanna be friends

Ghost: Why?

Soap: u seem lonely

Ghost: I'm not.

Soap: u can keep telling me u hate me but i know that u don't

Ghost: I don't hate you.

Soap: so u like me?

Ghost: No.

Soap: we r gonna be the best of friends

Ghost: No, we aren't.

Ghost: Send me the picture.

Soap:

Soap: there. i cropped it so u couldn’t dox me

Ghost: Nice try. But I'm not a civilian. And I'm not an idiot.

Soap: ur not a civilian?

Ghost: Fuck.

Ghost: Pretend you didn't read that.

Soap: only if u send me a selfie

Ghost: This is extortion.

Soap: yup

Ghost: I don't have a photo.

Soap: then take a new one

Ghost: Fine.

Soap: is that a skull mask? and skeleton gloves? are u sure ur not an edgy teenager under there?

Ghost: Just shut up.

Soap: this is great. can i post this on instagram

Ghost: No.

Soap: can i show my roommates

Ghost: No.

Soap: ok, can i save it for blackmail purposes

Ghost: I would prefer it if you didn't.

Soap: too late

Soap: i didn’t think u had brown eyes

Ghost: You have an unfortunate beard.

Soap: what does that even mean?

Ghost: Exactly what it sounds like.

Soap: fuck off. ur a beanie baby.

Ghost: ?

Soap: a beanie baby. theyre like those little stuffed animals and u collect them. except, yk, a beanie baby

Ghost: I know what a beanie baby is. Why did you call me one?

Soap: ur just a little soft, squishy man

Ghost: Fuck you.

Soap: :)

Soap: did u know there are beanie babies of real people?

Ghost: What the fuck are you talking about?

Soap: i'm at walmart and i saw this miley cyrus beanie baby

Ghost: Miley Cyrus is not real.

Soap: they're called limited editions. u gotta collect them all

Soap: wait what do u mean miley cyrus isn’t real

Ghost: I mean that Miley Cyrus is an illusion. A fabricated idea created by a corrupt government and sold to the public. An industry plant to poison the minds of the youth.

Ghost: But now you've ruined the surprise, and her secret is out.

Soap: omg

Soap: i thought her secret was hannah montana

Ghost: You know nothing, Soap.

Soap: i can't believe you broke into gaz's phone, stole it, and now u won't tell me ur name

Soap: and yet u just tried to gaslight me into thinking miley cyrus isn't real

Ghost: I would have gotten away with it, too, if not for you meddling kids.

Soap: are u even a real person

Ghost: I have a question for you, Soap.

Soap: yeah

Ghost: Why haven't you reported this stolen phone to your authorities?

Soap: it's not that big of a deal. gaz has another phone. i think he just liked this one better

Ghost: And what about me?

Soap: what about u?

Ghost: How do you know I'm not a terrorist who is using the phone to spy on the military or steal secrets?

Soap: u don't seem like a terrorist

Ghost: Thanks.

Soap: and besides, u couldn't have stolen that many secrets if u didn't know miley cyrus is real

Ghost: I could.

Soap: how do u even use a phone with skeleton gloves on?

Ghost: With difficulty.

Soap: that helmet makes u look stupid

Ghost: Says the guy with the worst beard I've ever seen.

Soap: i'll have u know i've been told it makes me look handsome

Ghost: By who? Yourself?

Soap: well now i am not telling

Soap:

Ghost: I bet it was a mirror.

Soap: i would say i'd block u, but we both know i won't

Ghost: That's fine. We both know I won't give you the phone back.

Soap: that's true.

Soap: did u know gaz has a lot of games on his phone

Ghost: Like what?

Soap: the entire clash of clans series. a few versions of candy crush. and something called lovehoney. not sure what that one is.

Ghost: Are you sure about that, Soap?

Soap: ?

Ghost: Have you actually played LoveHoney?

Soap: no, it says its rated m

Ghost: I thought you said you were a grown ass man?

Soap: i can't play a rated m game without supervision

Ghost: Oh, really?

Ghost: Do you want supervision?

Soap: from who? u?

Ghost: Maybe.

Soap: u should come visit us sometime. we can play clash of clans together

Ghost: I'd rather stab myself.

Soap: :(

Ghost: Why do you keep using emojis?

Soap: to convey emotion

Ghost: But there are words for emotions.

Soap: u should try it

Ghost: Why would I do that when I have a mask and a helmet to hide my face?

Soap: why do u hide ur face anyway? are u ugly?

Ghost: Quite the opposite.

Soap: oh so ur pretty

Ghost: I don't see how that matters.

Soap: ur face matters a lot if it's the only thing u can see when u look at someone

Ghost: Then look elsewhere.

Soap: can't. the rest of u is covered up

Ghost: If you're lucky, you'll never have to see the rest of me.

Soap: if u were here i could prove to u that ur a real person

Ghost: Is that so?

Soap: yes. i would hold ur hand

Ghost: Gross.

Soap: maybe even hug u

Ghost: Definitely gross.

Soap: i'm a very affectionate person

Ghost: That's unfortunate.

Soap: i can be anything u want me to be

Ghost: Not interested.

Soap: ok fine, i can be anything u aren't

Ghost: Good luck with that.

Soap: do u always text like ur writing a report

Ghost: Yes.

Soap: it's boring

Ghost: You are boring.

Soap: and yet u keep replying

Ghost: I don't know why.

Soap: maybe bc we r friends

Ghost: That's not why.

Soap: yes it is.

Ghost:

Soap: is that a dog

Ghost: It's a German Shepard.

Soap: i hate dogs.

Ghost: I thought you might.

Soap: why

Ghost: They remind me of you.

Soap: hahaha

Ghost: They are loyal and dumb and kind of cute.

Soap: omg

Ghost: But also aggressive and loud and have terrible breath.

Soap: did u just call me cute

Ghost: I did.

Soap: are u drunk?

Ghost: No.

Ghost: Maybe.

Soap: do u always get drunk and text random guys on stolen phones?

Ghost: It's the only way I can talk to anyone.

Soap: why

Ghost: Because no one wants to get close to a ghost.

Soap: that was so dramatic

Ghost: So is your fucking beard.

Soap: it's a fashion statement

Ghost: It's ugly.

Soap: and what, ur face is too pretty for the world?

Ghost: Exactly.

Soap: if u weren't a stranger, i'd probably be a little offended

Ghost: We're not strangers.

Soap: not really, i guess. but u don't know anything about me

Ghost: I know your name.

Ghost: I know your rank.

Ghost: I know you work for an unspecified organization.

Ghost: I know you're a complete idiot.

Soap: hey!

Ghost: I know you like jelly beans.

Ghost: I know you're not as much of an asshole as I thought you were.

Ghost: And I know I like talking to you.

Soap: i like talking to u too. even if u insult me every chance u get

Ghost: It's because you're an easy target.

Soap: u are literally the least charming person i have ever met

Ghost: Thank you. to be continued - subscribe on ao3 for next chapters :3

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bright-and-burning · 6 months

Note

No bc I love women and football tell me all the gossip with mccabe and foord and the ex (who is she) ☕️

alright this is going to be long im sorry but get me started on woso and i just blabber. uhh most of my sources cited but this is mostly me going back thru texts from during the world cup and grabbing facts/pictures from then so a few of these claims are a little

BUT i promise i didnt make this up LOL i was Deep in google for the entirety of the world cup so i Know i got my info from somewhere

everything else under the cut bc this got SO long im actually so sorry

there's three primary people involved here:

katie mccabe: left back (but honestly left everything wonder woman). captains the irish national team. plays for WSL's arsenal, has been since 2015 (minus a lil bit loaned to glasgow in 2017). those are the two important facts here really but the below is ~flavor~.

she's 28 and 5'5 and she's a DREAM. scored an olimpico at the world cup (FIRST IN WOMENS WORLD CUP HISTORY!!!!) (THATS WHERE YOU SCORE A GOAL DIRECTLY FROM A CORNER. FIRST ONE SINCE THE 60S IN A WORLD CUP IN GENERAL!! LITERALLY INSANITY!!!)

also for context this world cup was ireland's wnt's first ever major tournament appearance. she's the first ever irish goal-scorer (of men and women!). she's amazing. here's her for arsenal:

ruesha littlejohn: striker/midfielder. scottish-irish, but represents ireland at the senior level. 33 years old. has played for a lot of teams club-wise. currently plays for london city lionesses, a second tier team, but that wasnt announced til after the world cup. her most recent wsl team was aston villa (but i mean it, she's played like everywhere lol). 5'6 if you're curious.

here's her in ireland's kit:

caitlin foord: forward! plays for australia internationally, and arsenal (so teammates with katie. this is important.) she's played for arsenal since 2020! used to play for the thorns in the nwsl once upon a time. 5'7, if, again, you're curious. she used to date a swiss footballer (lia walti, who's played for arsenal since 2018) but they broke up like six months before the world cup. walti unfollows the australian team on instragram right after they post a video of foord, it's all very dramatic (THEYRE STILL TEAMMATES AT ARSENAL THIS WHOLE TIME BTW). arsenal man, always at the scene of the crime.

ok so now you've met our main players!!

world cup happened this past summer (2023), btw. to give you an idea of timing.

katie mccabe and ruesha littlejohn dated for 6-7 years (some articles say 6, some say 7). they came out in june 2019 and said they'd been dating for three years already. their breakup was confirmed right before the world cup (like THE SAME WEEK??), in an article where mccabe was like "yeah, ruesha, my partner at the time..." very casual.

and then. in JUNE. (world cup starts july 20th!!)

foord and mccabe go to ibiza w an ex-arsenal player (jordan nobbs). who (in june 2023, not anymore) played at aston villa with. you guessed it. littlejohn. so yeah your ex gf goes on a trip to ibiza w a new girl and your current teammate, you might be a lil pissed off. maybe.

the sun's (i know, BOOOO but this made me laugh so hard) caption on a pic from the trip had me cackling:

(the title of the article was "inside the glam lifestyle of pals caitlin foord and katie mccabe after ireland’s star’s ex snubs world cup handshake." borderline galpals commentary like have writers there never heard of regular synonyms for friends?? there was also a line that just screamed please don't sue us: "However, The Sun does not suggest the Aussie forward had anything to do with McCabe and Littlejohn's break-up.")

so now we've got two exes on the irish national team going into their first world cup appearance, the captain of the swiss national team and an australian player having broken up like six months ago, and much more, but that isn't directly related to This Specifically.

while you, anon, presumably know how the world cup works, ill give a mini explainer for anyone lost: there's the group stage, where the teams get divided into groups (in this case, of four), and your team plays every other team in the group. you get three points for winning a game, one for a draw, and none for a loss. those points add up and top two teams move on. and then you go into the knockout stage, where you have to win to advance, and if you keep winning you make it to the final yay!!

but for this we only care about the group stage. and more specifically, about group B.

group B is made up of nigeria, canada, australia, and (drumroll please) ireland!!! it is the stuff reality tv shows WISH they could make happen.

ireland and australia play. it is (almost*) the very first game of the tournament (but it's still on july 20th). it is at 5am my time. you would not believe the timezone fuckery i went through that month.

(*ok new zealand played norway starting a bit earlier on the same day but that's not as dramatic sounding)

and you know how they shake hands with the other team before a game? yeah well here's littlejohn apparently refusing to shake foord's hand:

here's a lovely photo of a Look from littlejohn to mccabe:

here's a diff irish player (sullivan) separating littlejohn and foord after the game (australia wins 1-0, btw.):

and i already shared this on @powerful-owl's post BUT. here's mccabe's little sister, supporting mccabe. please note the date (july 20th) and the comment from foord (from after the game, im like 99.99% sure) asking if she wants her jersey now. me personally if i just beat my totally platonic friend/teammate on the world's stage i wouldnt be pulling up in their sister's comments asking if she wants a jersey now (also implication of the word now as in previously discussed, etc etc. this was the thing that pushed me over the edge into insanity at like 9am after no sleep)

i admittedly have not kept up to date on anything that's gone down since the world cup so it's entirely possible more has happened! in fact i would say that it is downright likely lol. i love soccer lesbians n the insane charts necessary to keep track of their relationships <3

#me? insane?#um. im so sorry guys daksjfdk i dont know what came over me #this took longer than i expected to track down all the stuff i wanted to include. here's the tea anon!#and also i may very well be wrong abt things. tbf this is from memory and i also dont follow WSL very closely #much less the TEA. but this was fascinating to watch play out live lol #anon ask #eve talks soccer

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scaredgirlsilly · 7 months

Note

Homestuck character who doesn't get enough love?

i have been stalking this ask, formulating my plan of attack, jumping from branch to branch of the canopy of trees, waiting for the perfect moment.

and that moment has finally come

spoilers for homestuck (merp. if you read this ill explode you with my mind im sorry im doing this but it has spoilers for all of homestuck so you arent allowed to read this JDKSKFJSH)

my answer is jade. am i biased?? absolutely!! but thats A Whole Thing so im gonna give some runner ups first before i get into all that

jake prob like idk whenever i see him in stuff its always either with dirk (and usually focuses on dirk kr their relationship) or its a family photo of john, jade, jane, and jake. but like. idk i dont think many people *get* what hes about (me included) but hes a great character and literally soooo aro coded its not even funny. i really should rotate jake in my brain more hes a very cool character

jane too theres some love for jane but i think the epilogues kinda fucked her

the dancestors too, but idk im not a huge dancestor fan cause they are all kinda assholes and the scene with cronus and mituna just makes my skin crawl

but ok BACK TO JADE

i think there are different aspects (most of them probably unrelated to what you untended for the question) that she doesnt get enough love, but lets start with what you were probably talking about, which is

how jade is treated by the fans

i think jade gets a fair amount of fan love. i mean just look at her!! who couldnt love her?? my main problem comes from how she compares to dave, specifically the fact that fans seem to apply an absolutely monstrous depth to daves character that isnt necessarily there in homestuck (like specificallyin regards to angst readings of his character. this is about fanfiction i should say that this is just my grievances when it comes to finding good jade fics). THATS NOT A BAD THING!! i fuckin love it actually and im not raggin on dave with this. its just that i think jade could do that as good if not better!! her life is fuckin dogshit if you treat it seriously, much like people do with daves life, and considering the fact that nearly every single fuckin dave fic i read touches on that topic, it sucks that jade fics like that are so hard to come by. she also doesnt have as many like prominent ships. theres some obv ones, like davepetasprite, or dave/karkat in a throuple (we will fucking get to that later), but yk some of the other characters even uf they dont have canon relationships, they have like. obvious ones yk. like john/vriska or john/terezi or june/rose or john/dave (fuckin j egbert gettin around kfhskshdh) or like jake/dirk or roxy/callie yk ships like those. whether you agree with em is one thing but they are obvious yk you dont gotta do alot of convincing to see them at least try it out.

but with jade, it feels like you gotta stretch it a little to get her with anyone. jade/rose is great (especially jade/rose/kanaya) but. i mean jade and rose barely talk in homestuck proper (we will GET TO IT) so its kinda a hard sell. and does jade like interact with any of the trolls alot?? like idk its been a while but im p sure most of her interactions with the trolls were negative. so that just leaves jade/davepeta which is a pretty good ship i will say, and of course, jade/dave ( + karkat sometimes) and it kinda sucks. like one of my fav ships, jade/vriska, literally started out as a joke!! but it grew on me when i started thinking out it, but it is already such a stretch that theres no fuckin way most people will see what i see (thats a whole seperate rant jdhsjdjsj this is already long enough and we have 3 other parts to get to)

SPEAKING OF THE OTHER PARTS!!

next part, prob the easiest,

jades treatment in the epilogues

do i even need to say anything??

this post is long enough ill try to speed through the other sections

NEXT PART!!

how she is treated in homestuck proper in the text (what literally happens to her)

literally lonliest girl alive has one day with her friends (that day is filled with horrible shit and thats the understatement of the century) before getting on a ship for 3 years, and like a week in having her brother and other friend die. she then lives in this ship in the middle of space, no contact to any of her other friends, no update on whats actually going on, just the company of the consorts and nanna sprite. she finally gets to the new session, meets god tier calliope who explains that that was all supposed to happen and john actually fixed everything, and also space players are just lonely thats just apart of the aspect :/

she then gets put to sleep so the condesce doesnt control her, where she misses all of the socialization that the other people have on the platform before the final fight.

she then has a convo with davepeta while she is dreaming where davepeta says "actually in the other timeline we dated and that stuff still happened to you cause of this thing called an Ultimate Self, a thing thats totally real and not at all bullshit. anyways bye!! *muah*"

she wakes up, chases a few god dogs around, gets puched in the face, and the end happily ever after!!!!!!!!

now obv this was an extremely bitter retelling and i actually cant seperate the 2 sections so this is also...

how jade is treated in homestuck proper, by andrew hussie

now. jade got ROYALLY fucked over. she started out as a mysterious figure that knows more than anyone, but extremely quickly she goes to the person who knows the least out of literally anyone. she barely talks to rose, seemingly one of her 4 childhood friends, throughout the whole comic (jade and rose say about 2700 words to each other over 5 conversations, one of them being a repeat from the others perspective. their longest convo is 571 words. for reference, this convo between dave karkat and john has 2100 words. almost 1500 words more than their longest convo and almost as much words as rose and jades entire convo history. heres a link to da sourse i used cause no way im counting that shit jdjsgsjshs tho they are doing it cause they dont like jade/rose or sumn?? idk i dont fucking care about that. anyways side tangent over!!)

SHE DOESNT EVEN WNTER THE GAME TILL ACT 5 ACT 2!!!!!!!! AFTER WE SEE THE ENTIRE TROLL SESSION!!!!!!!!

then, during the session idk shes cool i dont remember it much cause the beta kids session is a surprisingly short part of the comic jdkshdjshs but she has some cool moments and i love her ^u^

then the yellow yard. god. just fucking left there alone. why?? the entire point of johnfix is that the session could be changed for the better without worry of a doomed timeline. couldnt have even made john give her a heads up as to why her john and davesprite just fucking die randomly?? (before you say that john couldnt have cause he didnt know, motherfucker andrew hussie knew!!!!!!!! he could have just made some fuckin reason for john to know its not that hard)

then during the session she just gets ranted to about how actually its all apart of the plan and this was supposed to be this way and she just goes ":P okie dokie" and moves on like that wouldnt FUCKING KILL HER THAT SHE HAD TO BE ROYALLY FUCKED OVER FOR EVERYTHING TO GO RIGHT.

now obv theres an explanation why her role in the final fight is so passive. shes too op. she combined with bec and is a space player (and is shown using those powers to do some pretty bad ass stuff jfjsgsjdhd). thats fair i guess. im just salty that the way to solve that was to literally put her to sleep for most of it, then go fly around with some dogs and get punched in the face.

now. the rant is kinda over. jade i think is the most slept on character, but specifically she is slept on by one person. andrew hussie. i think that andrew hussie did not explore jades character like he did with other characters. i do not know why. im going to try to not act like i know why he did it (god its so hard HDKSKDHAGDJ). this rsnt is pure salt, pure fuckin cope, i am aware. this is not meant to be objective i just really like and relate to jade and wish she got more love in the work itself. but instead, i must dine on the scraps she gets on fuckin ao3 (did you know there are almost as many davekat fics as there are fics where jade is in it at all?? and thats not even including the fact that alot of the jade fics, shes not the main person. im not mad 🙃🙃)

anyways uhhhh sorry this probably wasnt what you were expecting 😭😭😭😭 i just have alot of incoherent thoughts when it comes to jade and homestuck in general. so uhhhh. THANKS FOR THE ASK!!!!!!!!

#sorry it took so long literally this ask has been in my brain rollin around picking up dust like a katamari ball #but i knew i was gonna get to it eventually!!!!!!!!#it was just whenever i had the energy to write. *this* JDKSLDHAFJDKSKF #anyways thanks 😁😁

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nutzworth · 1 month

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its been a whole month. but you know what time it is? thats right.

DAY 6: MARCH 17, 2024

STATS: read for 1 hour 20 minutes (WEAK.) pages read: 1359-1592. 233 pgs slur count: 9 + 3 = 12 (dave, john x2. r slur) silly count: 11 + 1 = 12 (wv about his drawings) (i REALLY feel like i missed some... but whatever.) piss count: 2/3 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (dave pissed in his shower)

THOUGHTS: ok i didnt think a lot this round cus its like nearing midnight on a school night so im reading for funsies ok

act 4 has the story bouncing around way more than it did in previous acts. i saw a lot of the exiles today. and a lot of TROLLS! the exiles are so fun today i saw some pm and ar lore and wv pm ar all fought and then they had a meal. and wv and ar are trying to win over pm but she dont care. the WOMEN. panel. so good.

somethin else i reaaally noticed this time around is HOW GOOD HUSSIE WRITES! seriously these kids are talking so naturally its insane. i really like it. theyre so cute. they talk like me and my friends and its really good. hussies a really good writer guys

why did dave say that "i should probably text [john] soon. cus. i love him" why did he say that? and rose's "I know." why? what? im sure this has been read into like a million times but it feels so OUT OF POCKET. why did he SAY THAT? why does rose KNOW? what is anything.

today was the introduction to rose's exile and land. the land of light and rain. the combination of the land and the weird cursive exile and the weird loneliness and silence just really... it really creeps me out ok. "A mother does what's best for her children" with the empty dock with a cut rope and the martini. ugh. "There are footprints in the white sand." oh my god. IT CREEPS ME OUT. its SO QUIET it freaks me. augh. i love you rose

DAVE PEED THIS ROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the next (and last) on the piss counter is in the middle of act 6 so were gonna be sitting pretty for a damn while. daves kind of a freak to be real. he says "voyeurbot" and "little girl" in the same sentence. why did he say this?

PA HARLEY. PA HARLEY ON LAND OF WIND AND SHADE!!!! WOOOOOO!!!!!!!! oh oh aaaalso jade mentioned her penpal (JAKE!!!) and it got me a little excited. teehee. i looove jake english you dont even know

ummm dave entering the game... hes not in yet. but hes toying with his big machines and he got his totem and the object out. his egg. yeah. i didnt realize he was just playing with all this stuff and hes not even in the medium yet. craaaazy

WE SAW TEREZI THREE TIMES TODAY! THATS SO MUCH! SHES SO CUTE! i literally love terezi i always forget but i love her. shes so cool and silly and cute and the best. her convo with rose (her first one?) is so funny and awesome and ahh i love terezi. she says that the two of them were destined to be hatebuddies cus theyre both seers. ahhh

she also mentions some god tiers during that convo which was crazy. seer of mind. page of breath. knight of blood. maid of time. hussie just had this stuff on lock huh. why TAVROS'S classpect? not like vriskas? i dont know man.

karkat was so dumb today i cant even talk about him. he showed up twice and fumbled so bad. girl you havw GOT to stop being mean to people and yes that includes yourself. i really like karkat too i cant lie. hes so dumb so sweet. i love you karkat

jack noir just straight up gives pm a hit list for her king and queen for no reason. i mean yes there is a reason hes like "lol i do this to everyone wouldnt it be crazy if she was the one to get me their crowns lol" why does he do that? does he just have swords and symbols on lock? hes literally crazy

rose does her cool knitting needle in the monster thing. DAVE AND KANAYA CONVERSATION! i love them bad. rose and tavros is also funny but tavros types so much like a tool i can hardly stand it. im gonna be real i dont really like tavros. hes just not my style sorry

thats it sorry for not reading for a month. maybe ill do more this month haha. maybe maybe not. we will see ;-) thanks

#me #nutzworth hs reread #hoooonk shooooo #i wanted to read some homestuck for my birthday so here i am #spring breaks coming up... maybe ill read then #who knoooose

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pesterloglog · 3 months

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Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Karkat Vantas

Meat, page 32

DAVE: yo

DAVE: love to chat but im kinda in the middle of something

ROXY: yo yourself but this is important

DAVE: uhhh

DAVE: more important than salvaging the global economy from potential disaster??

DAVE: sounds hugely unlikely

ROXY: idk about that

ROXY: in terms of scale and relativity and stuff maybe not

ROXY: its actually kinda hard to tell

ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things

ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap

ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro

DAVE: a nap you say

DAVE: well this changes the fuck out of everything

ROXY: yea??

DAVE: nah

ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this

ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him

DAVE: uh no

ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight

ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....

ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??

DAVE: thats weird

DAVE: since when does he give a fuck about them

ROXY: idk

ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here

ROXY: he usually knows stuff about weird things

DAVE: so whats wrong with her again

DAVE: like

DAVE: some sort of demonic nap

ROXY: ok i wouldnt say shes NAPPING per se

ROXY: shes just like

ROXY: floatin here... upright

ROXY: eyes wide open

ROXY: and theyre both pitch black

DAVE: oh so she saw one of my latest sbahj campaign ads

ROXY: lol

ROXY: no dude

ROXY: like what im sayin is

ROXY: she looks a lil possessed

ROXY: by uh

ROXY: grim spirits n shit

DAVE: is she fucking grimbark again

ROXY: no!

ROXY: this isnt grimbark

ROXY: i KNOW what grimbark is dave this aint it

ROXY: it seems more serious tbh??

ROXY: like existing in some transformative state that isnt a literal fuckin joke

DAVE: ok yeah this does sound pretty bad

DAVE: but its not really my field

DAVE: did you try calling rose

ROXY: yea that was totes my original plan

ROXY: like no offense ur not #1 on my speed dial when it comes to this kinda thing

ROXY: but rose isnt picking up

ROXY: probly on account of ailments to be fair

ROXY: i called an unruly number of times

ROXY: and kan wasnt picking up either so...

DAVE: huh

DAVE: spooky

ROXY: hella spooky

ROXY: somethin about all this seems wrong

DAVE: yeah i guess

DAVE: what do you think is up

ROXY: idk

ROXY: i feel like theres something movin just out the corner of my vision but every time i turn to look at it

ROXY: its gone

ROXY: its givin me chills rn like im being watched

DAVE: well im no fucking ace detective

DAVE: or some gumshoe flatfoot dicking up the place suckin hard on my sherlock pipe like some sleuth of the fucking year

ROXY: dave

DAVE: but maybe we should consider the possibility that you are literally being watched

ROXY: ..............

DAVE: anyway can we hold that wise and rad thought i just had

DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support

DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us

DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives

DAVE: so we gotta like

DAVE: concentrate here?????

DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives

DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)

ROXY: oh

ROXY: jakes on ur side then?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: wasnt that hard to convince him after your girl j crock started slut shaming him on public access

ROXY: god dammit jane

DAVE: so i take it jade didnt convert you to our cause before going into her gothic trance fugue or whatever

ROXY: siiigh

ROXY: i just want this whole stupid political thing over n done with tbh

ROXY: i hate watchin u guys tear each other apart in the news

DAVE: yeah sorry about that

DAVE: sorry its making you feel bad i mean

DAVE: not sorry that were doin it

DAVE: itd be an unconscionably lame move to put something on a billboard that i didnt 100% stand by

DAVE: but that sounds suspiciously like something jane would do

DAVE: aka the bad guy in this situation

DAVE: like objectively speaking

ROXY: ugh pls dont start

DAVE: just sayin

ROXY: idgAF!!!

DAVE: also

DAVE: aside from how vehemently i disagree with every detail in janes shitty platform

DAVE: i also think

DAVE: karkats the right guy for the job

DAVE: full stop

ROXY: you rly believe in him dont u

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: of course i do

DAVE: because i...

ROXY: hey before you jet can i ask you another question

ROXY: theres somethin else ive been meanin to ask u about for a while

DAVE: uh alright shoot

ROXY: yea soooo

ROXY: dave how did you come out

DAVE: ...

DAVE: what?

ROXY: like as not being straight

ROXY: howd you couch that to ppl w/o them freakin out or being awkward around u

ROXY: do u think its ever too late to

ROXY: idk

ROXY: change ur mind?

ROXY: about the person you wanna be??

ROXY: like is there a some point of no return you can cross where everyone is waitin for u to have a big ass revelation about your internal character

ROXY: but its like “dude no u already used up all ur gay capital when u started datefriend cohabitating w a cute as hell skeleton alien”

ROXY: and anything after that ur just gettin greedy

ROXY: is greedy even the right word

ROXY: greedy for droppin bombshells

ROXY: bout gender identities and sexual preferences

ROXY: or ids n preffies as i like to call em ;)

DAVE: ids n preffies

DAVE: damn

DAVE: thats fucking good

DAVE: anyway uh

DAVE: thats a pretty deep question considering all the shit we have going on right now

ROXY: yeah ur right

ROXY: now is probs not the best time for a feels jam

ROXY: especially with the creepy jade situation happening on my couch here

DAVE: i dunno if id worry too much about that

DAVE: jade goes into trances literally all the time

DAVE: she fucking loves sleeping

DAVE: youd think someone who spent so much of her life locked in a state of dubiously consensual slumber would wanna get as few zees as possible in her adult life but not jade

DAVE: ive never known anyone who hits the snooze button more times in a row than her

DAVE: if youre that worried take her to a hospital

ROXY: im thinkin about it!!

ROXY: not even sure if i wanna like

ROXY: mess with her tho?

ROXY: how would i even take her there...

DAVE: ok well while you ponder whether you wanna dump jade in a wheelbarrow and trundle her groggy spooked-up ass to the hospital

DAVE: in the meantime ill rap at you about my epiphany concerning the desire to bone some dudes

DAVE: probably not a literal rap though

ROXY: wow im disappointed

DAVE: i mean i could TOTALLY rap about wanting to bone dudes if i wanted?

DAVE: im just on the fuckin clock here and theres lots of people lookin at me

ROXY: :(

DAVE: ok so

DAVE: what ive learned is

DAVE: coming to terms with all this bullshit is a thing you sort of do in stages

DAVE: like stage one is you making jokes about how sweaty dudes standing close together in tv shows seems really gay

DAVE: stage two is making jokes about that and not immediately adding no homo afterward

DAVE: stage three is flirting with all your male friends ironically and not even thinking about adding no homo afterward because youre so fuckin woke and secure in your ironclad straight masculinity that you dont have anything to prove to anybody anymore

DAVE: or thats just what you say out loud

DAVE: inside you start being like

DAVE: oh shit

DAVE: maybe yes homo

DAVE: stage four is freaking out about that and putting the no homo back on all your statements even objectively heterosexual ones which just stupidly makes everything you say sound extra gay

DAVE: stage five is

DAVE: actually wait the next few stages are various permutations of the same thing that i already described

DAVE: it starts being like a gay fractal

DAVE: anyway eventually you arrive at like stage nine

DAVE: which is reminding everyone who will listen that youre gay minimum six times a day

DAVE: in really lame ways like

DAVE: oh cool dude are you making hot pockets

DAVE: better make mine a gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause im a gay homosexual who only consumes homo ass snacks delivered right to my mouth by a big queer butler

DAVE: servin it right up on his huge gay dick

DAVE: but that all only applies to the extent which i am technically gay

DAVE: which in my case is only about maybe 30% to 70%

DAVE: so only cook 30% to 70% of my gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause you know straights are fucking animals who never defrost their pepperoni

DAVE: and i gotta rep for that like 50% straightness still lurking inside me like the idiot who fell asleep in the shopping mall when it was closing for the night

DAVE: so now theres just this straight dude locked in a dark fucking mall for some stupid reason haunting the place like a cryptid and rummaging through the trash in the food court

DAVE: also just in case janes opposition research is listening in on their illegal wiretap i know the word bisexual exists btw im just choosing not to use it in service of spitting some fuckin chuckle jokes here so lets all calm down and not let this one become a distressingly literal federal issue

DAVE: anyway when all is said and done

DAVE: you eat a half cooked hot pocket because all your roommates think the height of humor is taking what was obviously an improvisational riff at unironic face value to punk you

ROXY: dave...

DAVE: what

ROXY: nm

ROXY: i was gonna ask you why ur like this

ROXY: then i remembered about how ur half me and half dirk

DAVE: yeah it really is crazy how those dope late game familial reveals actually did explain everything

ROXY: so whats stage ten

DAVE: stage ten is uhhhhhhhh

DIRK: The Prince opens his fucking mouth, and just literally starts SAYING SHIT, out loud, because he doesn’t think he can take another fucking second listening to a pompous alien virgin monologuing about gender.

DIRK: No consequence, my ass. You may be able to suppress what I do with my mind, but you have no control over my mouth. I’m nobody’s fucking puppet.

DIRK: And you don’t even know my friends. They’re not yours to toy with.

DIRK: They’re mine.

DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?

DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to

DIRK: Yeah, well. Try and stop me then.

DIRK: I fucking dare you.

DIRK: Here I go. I’m walking up the tower stairs now.

DIRK: Walk, walk, walk. Ah, the exercise feels good.

DIRK: Argh. Wow, yeah.

DIRK: You’re right. My feet are definitely getting heavy.

DIRK: But the Dead Cherub tragically underestimates the Prince’s determination. He powers the fuck through it. See?

DIRK: Stomp, stomp, stomp. Up the stairs he goes. No fucking sweat.

DIRK: Oh also, did he mention? He can fucking fly, so there’s that.

DIRK: He decides to take flight and cut to the chase. He whips up the hollow vertical shaft at the center of the spiraling tower stairs. Life in the fast lane kicks ass, it turns out.

DIRK: He can practically taste the top of the tower.

DIRK: The Prince busts out his sword and makes short work of that big old bell.

DIRK: The slicing is accompanied by the ear-shattering melodic sounds of metal being cleaved apart by an anime sword, as the Prince nimbly avoids the sharp pieces and ricocheting stair debris.

DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?

DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”

DIRK: Sure you do.

DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion

DAVE: theres lots of layers

DAVE: they suck on pizza

DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them

DAVE: this goes for gender stuff too btw

DAVE: which i kinda get the feeling is what you were actually asking about

ROXY: wow am i rly that transparent?

DAVE: nah but as previously discussed youre a lot like me

DAVE: so it was pretty easy to figure out what you were getting at

ROXY: yea

ROXY: i dont got ur poker face tho

ROXY: but im workin on that!

ROXY: maybe ill get a sick pair of shades too

DAVE: oh DOPE

DAVE: yeah thats dope i support that idea

DIRK: I’m on top of the tower now. I’ve got my long sniper rifle ready and everything.

DIRK: I check to see if it’s loaded. It is. I get in the PERFECT spot for taking aim at this hunky imbecile who’s about to give a speech.

DAVE: anyway i dont think any of our friends are gonna hold your feet to the flames over dumb shit like this

DAVE: and its not like anyone else is gonna care since we definitely forgot to program hating gays and women into earth c

DAVE: humans are all jacked up on hating xenophiles now

DAVE: which sucks a lot too dont get me wrong

DAVE: btw did you know janes a xenophobe

ROXY: dave!!!

DAVE: ok ok

DAVE: so does all this mean i gotta call you dad now or what

ROXY: wat

DAVE: i mean thats what were talkin about right

ROXY: well first of all

ROXY: do u still even make a habit of callin me mom??

ROXY: i thought u kinda stopped that

ROXY: even if it was effin cute

DAVE: oh yeah i guess i did

DAVE: but i could start again

DAVE: but not if it means id have to go to fucking gender jail or something

DAVE: like what i mean is i could start that cute shit again but switch to dad

ROXY: ok but SECOND of all

ROXY: i would never want to deprive dirk of that noble honorific

DAVE: what

DAVE: ugh no way

ROXY: hahaha yeah way hes ya daddy dude!

DAVE: aw fuck noooo

DAVE: wow man

DAVE: i would never call him that

DAVE: i mean i know its true but i just wouldnt...

DAVE: wait

ROXY: what

DAVE: something feels

DAVE: wrong

ROXY: ???

DAVE: like some shits about to go down

DAVE: and i gotta...

DAVE: karkat! dude!!!

DAVE: GET DOWN!

KARKAT: WHAT?????

DIRK: You’re absolutely right.

DIRK: I would never do that.

DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.

DIRK: You do understand me pretty well, I’ll give you that. And you’re right about many things.

DIRK: But there are just a couple things you’re wrong about.

DIRK: Pretty important things, actually.

DIRK: First of all, this gun is loaded.

DIRK: But not with bullets.

DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.

DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.

DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.

ROXY: hellooooooo

ROXY: dave??

ROXY: whered ya go

DIRK: No, that’s not what he does.

DIRK: He swings the rifle around one hundred eighty degrees, and points the scope toward the large, now-curtainless window of a distant apartment.

DIRK: He zooms in quickly, cutting even shorter the little time that the Dead Cherub could use to impede him in some way.

DIRK: He takes aim, lets his finger hover over the trigger, and...

DIRK: Ow!

DIRK: Yeah, you got me. Can’t move it an inch.

DIRK: The only problem is, he doesn’t need to pull that trigger.

DIRK: Earlier, when he was messing around with all this shit in plain view, he rigged the rifle to be voice-operated.

DIRK: All he needs to do is say...

DIRK: FIRE.

DIRK: I see. So you’re not going to say what happens next?

DIRK: Is that really how it’s gonna be?

DIRK: So be it.

DIRK: The tranquilizer dart hits the glass of Roxy’s apartment window before the sound from the rifle’s shot even reaches them.

DIRK: She hears the glass break. Seconds later, she hears the bang. She drops her phone on the floor.

DIRK: She doesn’t have the slightest idea what just happened until she looks over at Jade and notices the dart stuck in her neck, right in the jugular vein.

DIRK: She watches as Jade’s huge, creepy black eyes start getting heavy. Her eyelids sag, and her head tilts to the side.

DIRK: She shuts her eyes completely. Her hair stops floating around her ominously. In fact, there’s nothing ominous about her at all anymore. She entirely resumes her status as the cute doggy girl we all know and love.

DIRK: She slumps over and collapses onto the couch. She begins snoring loudly while making a little canine whimper on each exhale.

DIRK: Like the bitch she is.

DIRK: Oh, what’s that? You’re getting a little quiet for some reason.

DIRK: You’re going to have to speak up.

DIRK: Aaand, nope.

DIRK: You’re getting quieter, not louder. You’re gonna need to work on that.

DIRK: Maybe try shouting it?

DIRK: Yeah, I didn’t catch that at all.

DIRK: Not even one syllable.

DIRK: Guess that’s it for you? Back to not mattering.

DIRK: Not that you ever did.

DIRK: Come to think of it, why am I still talking out loud?

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #dave strider #roxy lalonde #dirk strider #karkat vantas #meat epilogue #page 32

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timeloop-liz · 2 years

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Found out @spaceistheplacearts Director can be hurt if ya get the core so i uhhh went off the rocks sorry. Im an angst machine. I saw you said you made this au for something “sweet” and im sorry ill try for “sweet” next time… whatever that is

Narry getting upset at the Directir for something and starts wrecking another room. Because he knows it upsets him. Maybe he was pushed over the edge but once he enters the room to stop Narry again he gets hit with something. Like maybe he wasnt really paying attention to where he showed up and Narry wasnt aiming for him it was just by chance.

Theres a crash and a splat distinct sound. Narry freezes in place as he sees what hes just done. Panic fills him as he rushes to the Directors side. Apologies spilling out of him as he kneels down next to his more than usual blob forum. He doesnt know what to do. What can he do. The Director has a shard of glass sticking out of him for goodness sake. Maybe he knows where to start. But the Director is trying to pull back. Move away. Hes clesrly having trouble keeping his form in check. He limbs arent as solid as he would have so they cant even lift him up more like noodles than anything.

Slowly Narry approaches again. Softly whispering reassuring words to the Director. Hoping to calm him down. The more he moves the worse his core is getting. They need to get that glass out. Finally determined on what to do he gently holds the Directors form. He can feel it trembling in what he assumes fear and pain. Grasping the glass he shifted it slightly resulting in the Directors form tensing up and a small strangled sound escaping. Tears prick his eyes but he knows he has to do it. He counts to three then swiftly removes the fragment from the Director.

A bit of slime is sticking to the end of the shard and it probably cut the inside of Narrys hand but thats not what hes worried about. The Director is trembling horribly. In what Narry can only assume is the closes he can get to crying. He pulls him close, holding him as gently as he can whole tears fall down his face. He didnt want to hurt the Director. Well he did but not like this. Never like this.

All of a sudden theres a SLAM!! As a door opens up and in storms another being. It startles Narry so bad he drops the Director who lands with another sickening splat. She quickly moves to gently scoop the Director up. Narry goes to interject when hes forcefully pushed back. “Dont you DARE touch him! I knew he was being to soft on you. I warned him and looks whats happened!” Shocked from her words hes unable to form any of his own. She quickly turns and leaves Narry alone in the room he made a mess of. Just before she exits she turns “and dont your dare think of going anywhere!” Them shes gone.

What did she mean? She warned him? Its not like he wanted this. But she was right. He did hurt the Director. This was all his fault. He was being a stupid child and now the Director is hurt. The Director was always saying how everything he did was for Narry. All of this was to help him in the end. That he just wanted Narry to be happy. And look what he does. He goes out of his way to hurt the Director by smashing a room. A room made for him. To help him. God hes spiralling. This time theres no one to stop it. No Director to step in and comfort him. Because he hurt him. The thoughts wont stop. He just slumped down against the wall and cried.

Oooooo what fun aye. What good angst liz have brought. I warned yall i was gonna do angst here. Its your fault for not listening. Will i finish this!!! Probably not lmao.

Heres what was planned, like a little guide on what i was thinking:

But the Director is gonna be ok i swear!! His core just needs to recover. Hes gonna go back to work too soon and its gonna show. He text is clearly slower. Typing is harder with noodles. He probably wouldnt trust Narry to be in the same room as him when hes so injured. But maybe he does. And Narry can see how hard it is for the Director to move around. How hard it is for him to communicate. Narry feels horrible. He suggests that maybe he should leave. He doesn’t deserve to be here. Hes so sorry and what not. But the Director doesnt really want him to leave. He knows it wasnt on purpose after all. But hes still scared around him because he has seen what he CAN do. Basically their relationship takes a big boi hit but its gonna survive.

#the stanley parable #tsp #liz writes #swap!au #angst

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one-abuse-survivor · 2 years

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i really need to vent im so sorry. my sister is driving me to literal insanity. i dont know if im a manipulator or shes truly being a horrible person to me. i talk to my bf a lot. facetime pretty much all day every day, and she can hear me talking through the wall, mostly mumbles no words, but still noise, and she doesnt say anything. she games at the WORST times, honestly, at least we stop talking at 8/9pm, but thats when she starts gaming with her friends, screaming (yes. literal ear piercing screams from horror games) shouting and overall joyous loudness from her room. i put my headphones on and try to block it out, knowing shes just having fun and i need to put up with it. its been like this the whole year practically. the past week shes been getting closer to dad again. dad. the guy who hates me with a passion and mentally abused me for 2 years straight and never got a consequence for it. every. single. time. she hangs out with him, or games with him, she turns into this horribly mean snarky person who is so so rude. and ik im sounding dramatic but shes literally the opposite otherwise. but other than dad shes also got a new friend whos very judgemental and snarky so ig shes impressionable. but anyway the past week shes been very rude and mean to both me and my mum. mums a huge pushover so being mean to her is like kicking a dog, and i truly hate it when shes mean to her. cos mum loves her more than she loves me (its evident and shes told me multiple times i promise im not inferring it) so shes much more of a pushover with my sister 'everything has to be perfect for her'. i hate it. ik ik its jealousy but im dealing with it or at least trying to. so tonight she was singing horribly and ive not had a good day, im stressed, tired, and trying to sleep and here she is humming away purposefully sounding awful. i ask her to be quiet, continues, tell her to shut up, she continues, so i bang on the wall and i kid you not she slowly gets wuieter and quieter til its barely a mumble i can hear from her room and it makes me so unfathomably angry and i truly have no idea why. its like she knows every single button of mine and pushes them at will. so i texted her saying, why are you being such a dick lately its so annoying, to which she was like "i put up iwith you blah blah you cant put up with me blah' i told her to stop playing victim so she told me i need to learn to shut up and put up. a phrase straight from dads book. she knows it is and it throws me into a spiral ehenever i hear it and she knows!! so here i am angry af trying to calm down and not do something ill regret tomorrow, whilst shes happily downstairs making light conversation with dad. i hate it so so much. i did respond back, are you being sarcastic rn?? if not i dont want to speak to you ever again. and she said ok. ik ik its dramatic af but i just cant with her anymore she makes me feel how dad made me feel and i then react like a child, to a child. ik my responses are in the wrong, i really am sorry if i sound really childish or just plain stupid and im truly in the wrong, pls pls tell me if i am. i just cannot handle her at all lately shes literally been a demon lmao (jkjk) thank you for letting me vent to you, the safe space youve created really means a lot <3

hi im the anon whos mad at my sister, uhm - im very close to starting my period and have come to the conclusion that its the reason for the anger lol. Ik i do have some issues but i think it was mostly irrational anger when i wrote the vent, and not an acc issue, or at least thats what im really hoping is the answer lol. im super sorry about it, and i hope youre having an awesome day 💕

Hey, nonnie. I'm glad you could let out some of your frustration and anger here ❤️ I didn’t see your second ask until after writing the reply below, but I think all of it applies anyway, becuase we’re allowed to have days where we’re more irritable. I’m having a good day today, I hope you are too!

I don't think you sound childish or stupid, nonnie. It sounds to me like you might have had a trauma reaction toward her because of the abuse your dad put you through. Trauma reactions (ie. having flashbacks, going into fight/flight, becoming hypervigilant...) don't just appear when we're interacting with the people who abused us; they often also appear when other people do or say something that reminds us of the abuse. Your sister knowingly used a line your dad has used to hurt you before, so I think it is completely understandable that you had an emotional reaction that seems "dramatic" in retrospect. I can only talk from personal experience, but I've also done the same over text in the past, and it was always after something/someone sent me into a fight response.

And, nonnie, even if trauma responses don't justify our actions (they only explain them), I think it's fair to say that this situation with your sister escalated from both sides, not just yours. It wasn't you exploding at her out of nowhere. As you said, she was pushing your buttons, and she knew she was upsetting you, because you'd asked her to be quiet several times.

So yeah, if she makes you feel like your dad made you feel, I think it's understandable that you're having these big emotional reactions toward her when she oversteps your boundaries and purposefully pushes your buttons. You said you react "like a child" toward her, and I think it might be helpful to think about why your reactions feel like those of a child. Children—especially abused children—feel small and defenceless, and sometimes they lash out to protect themselves when this fear and defencelessness become overwhelming. So "reacting like a child" doesn't have to necessarily mean "oh I'm being so immature and stupid". It can mean "I feel threatened and helpless, so my body is having an instinctive reaction to protect me".

What I'm trying to get that is I think you ought to be a little bit kinder to yourself, nonnie. You're allowed to be affected by her attitude toward you. You're allowed to acknowledge that these reactions you're having aren't a flaw on your part, but a sign you're going through a lot of distress and your body is protecting you in any way it can.

I also think you need to be kinder to yourself about feeling jealous that your mum loves your sister more than you. Your jealousy isn't the thing that needs to be fixed in this situation. Your jealousy is a very appropriate reaction to a very unfair situation to you. You deserve to be loved and cared for and protected from harm as much as your sister. You never deserved to hear that your mum loves her more than you. You're not being selfish or childish by feeling jealous; you're just acknowledging your unmet emotional needs and acknowledging that you deserve better than this. And you really do. You deserve so, so much better than this.

Your emotions are allowed, nonnie. Your anger and your jealousy and your defensiveness when she's mean to you and your mum are all allowed. Please don't forget that.

Sending a virtual hug ❤️

#Ask #Vent #Abuse #Abuse tw #Abusive father tw #Toxic sister #Trauma tw

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peaterookie · 1 year

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Lupin III Chapter 45 Review

hey guy i didn't cover chapter 44 because I just physically couldn't if you have a problem with that just read the chapter yourself

this cover looks somewhat wholesome i sure do wish the actual chapter matches the cover though like wow lupin takes in this lil girl as a student because she admires him and it can be like a warmhearted but sad story because he has to let her go but nah those story are shin lupin exclusive i like his big top hat though

anyways onto the chapter lupin this time is on a search for a woman whos stolen some gold and he enters a bar believing that she resides there instead, he is met by these three men that attacks them relentlessly ahh!!

also you may notice that theres some text outside the panels. its because this story is told by lupin in third person perspective!

i like it whenever mp does this since its something different than usual and its cool seeing lupin's outside perspective and how he tells his story its been done a couple times but quite rarely so its nice to see it returning

the men keep attacking lupin but to no avail, what im questioning here is why are they attacking him 🤨 they even ripped his pants showing his ass!!

lupin then explains to them that hes only there to find a woman, but the men says that there was no woman here lupin keeps searching though and finds plain evidence that a woman was infact there, in the form of …bras.

mp sure loves drawing bras lately i find it funny though because you barely see these kinds of stuff in shin lupin oh how things can change in just a couple of years oh yeah youll probably see me mentioning a lot of stuff about shin lupin sorry im a huge enthusiast of that series maybe when they is done ill cover chapters from that series too...

OK ENOUGH WITH THE TANGENTS!! the men then give up and shows lupin that the woman has died already, carrying her gold with her til death

Guy: She died a month ago. Outside Text: Greed. She tried to keep the gold for herself. And her gang members murdered her. A sweet story, but something still wasn't right.

lupin how is it a sweet story hmm??? but interesting, he is still suspicious about the whole story its true, if she died, then why would they bother to hide it for so long and be defensive about it its like they want lupin to leave...

but lupin doesn't leave, and eventually cracks the code!! he invites all the men into a cabin and orders them to… strip themselves???? thats right, he suspected that they might be hiding something about their true identity, and he was right.

they weren't infact men... and there wasn't just one woman hiding all the gold... it was three of them!

L: You're all women... beautiful women. Now bring me the gold, and we'll cuddle. The end.

#local lupin manga fan screams about the manga as per usual #lupin the 3rd #lupin the third #lupin iii

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lusciouslii · 2 years

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actually yknow what forget that, my kink blog ill post whatever little thoughts i want. even if im just yelling into the void at least i get to yell!

longer rant incoming bc im tired and want this out of my system!!

so i met this guy on feabie and immediately it was super exciting because we go to the same college!!

hes also super fucking hot which was its own weird thing bc ive really never experienced like physical sexual attraction so that was weird. but yeah dude looks good and he has a nice voice so thats already not helping me

we’ve met up a couple times now, once to sorta test the waters, once just to cuddle in my room???? which looking back it was at that point i was straight up fucked because as someone who had recently gotten out of a bad relationship in which all my needs and emotions had been completely neglected, having that kind of sweet and affectionate intimacy?? all while my chubby body is being praised and adored??? never once had that in my LIFE.

the other few times has been pretty lowkey too. we did do a feeding session once but i got sick and it was the most humiliating thing. but he was so nice and caring and we continued to talk afterwards so i just try not to think about it anymore lol

we didnt talk much over the summer since i had to go back home across the country, but he reached out a few times and i was like damn ok im still of interest to him

this semester started great because i planted the seed (aka posted a pic showing i was back over here) knowing he would probably see it and if he’d say anything, and he fucking did he reached out and was excited i was back and wanted to meet up soon. schedules were a little rough but eventually we did!

i felt extra happy because it was sort if spur of the moment decision and he was moving back an online hangout he’d been planning with friends for a couple weeks. so i was like omg he really wants to see me even if only for a little bit thats so nice

and now that we have several months ahead of us we started talking about doing more of a feeder/feedee setup and things like that and im, obviously, super into the idea, and he seemed super into it too!! the dirty things he said to me that night!!!! not fair!!!!!!!

i sent pics later that night bc we talked about it and he said he’d “return the favor” lol but the. like. i sent them and he didn’t say anything until i posted a pic to feabie 🙃 and he was like oh sorry i completely missed your text! which like alright, and he asked me how i was doing and blah blah brief smalltalk

i asked if he wanted to meet up again soon and he said “Yea I’d be down, I gotta see what’s going on tho / need to play it by ear”

now heres where i get all introspective because to me, i dont see why we couldnt just schedule something in the future. unless, that is, hes trying to keep his schedule open for other stuff. i can get that to a certain degree, and i have to like. really ponder on it because i dont want to be some clingy needy girl who is fawning after a guy im not even dating, but its like….idk it makes me feel kinda sad? that im not enough of a priority to want to pick a set day to do something? so idk how to feel about that exactly

anyways i tried asking again some days later and he wasnt free, no surprise, usually when we do something its sorta this impulsive last minute thing, which again like. sorta plays into that whole im not really a priority unless idk youre horny or something

but its weird cause it seems like he does care and does want more than just horny shenanigans? we havent had sex yet and have only even had one actual feeding session. soooo worlds most patient fuckboy if thats the case but i just really dont get those vibes

but also im gullible and see the best in people i care about and thats how i got fucked over in my last relationship

im just feeling pretty sad about the whole thing right now because we talked about doing all these things and i really want that but hes so uncommunicative and im afraid of being obsessive. again, might be on me too because im going in thinking maybe theres a chance to do more

but then again even if there isnt thats FINE i just want to do SOMETHING lmao

so now im just left wanting and thinking about him a lot and oh yeah need i remind WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL WHY CANT WE JUST MEET UP CASUALLY ONE AFTERNOON 😭

idk but im afraid of maybe ruining the best relationship ive formed in this kink after figuring out what i wanted from it. god even now im just like “youre thinking too hard about this it doesnt matter that much, youre supposed to be flexible and chill and just go with the flow cause its just a little side thing” but welp. my brain is noisy and i dont have a good outlet. another problem of not having friends in this kink but im not good at responding to people which online is the only way to talk to people and now im just rambling

anyways ending this here and hoping he’ll reach out eventually cause boy does the heart yearn 🥲🥲🥲

#also WOW i pray he doesnt somehow find this #he doesnt have my tumblr #but it wouldnt be too hard to figure out from what he does have

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