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dreamwritesimagines · 2 years

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Enamored [38] - Love Match

A.N: Thank you so much for your amazing feedback my loves, you’re amazing!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please let me know what you think, thank you! ❤ And as always, thank you @theskytraveler for helping me with the chapter and the story❤ Ps: All credit for house descriptions goes to her as well! ❤

Summary: Some bets end with both sides winning.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, mentions of sex, some gender specific language and terms, kissing.

Word Count: 12.200 (Yes I have no idea how it happened either)

Series Masterlist

Wedding day.

It was your wedding day, and you could hardly believe it.

You hadn’t been able to sleep last night. The excitement rushing through your veins was almost intoxicating, and until you saw the first rays of the sun spill through the window into your room, you had kept tossing and turning in bed with a huge smile on your face, counting down the minutes.

You were marrying the love of your life.

Even your house was in complete chaos, you couldn’t even begin to imagine Bridgerton house, considering you would be holding the wedding breakfast there. You would get ready at home, and take a carriage to the church and after you held the ceremony, you would go back to Bridgerton house to hold the wedding breakfast, then you and Anthony would get on the road for your honeymoon week at Aubrey Hall; your new home with him.

You pressed the back of your hands on your cheeks, desperate to soothe the burning, shifting your weight on the chair you were sitting on.

“Don’t forget; me, you will have a talk with me and Aunt Lavinia when you get back to Bridgerton house,” Cecily said and you nodded, playing with the skirts of your wedding gown, trying your hardest not to look in the mirror to get the full effect when they would eventually let you.

“Oh I know. I already have a list.”

“…You have a what?”

“A list,” you answered as Lucie worked on pinning the veil in your hair. “I have many questions to ask so I prepared a list, Lucie has it.”

Lucie and Cecily exchanged glances before Cecily cleared her throat.

“Alright then.”

“Will you miss me while I’m gone for a week?” you asked her and she repressed a smile.

“Oh I will,” she said. “You won’t though.”

“Of course I will miss you!”

“Mm, I think Anthony will keep you quite distracted, you won’t have the time to miss me.”

“Cece!”

“What, it’s the truth!”

Lucie pulled her hands back from your hair, making you look up at her.

“Ready?”

“Wait, you can’t see until you are standing right in front of the mirror, hold on!” Cecily said and came to cover your eyes with her palm, making you let out a laugh and you stood up, then walked to the middle of the room where she was leading you.

“Can I see now?”

“Wait,” Cecily said as Lucie fixed your veil and your gown before she lowered her hand so that you could look in the mirror. “There.”

You swallowed thickly and opened your eyes, and as soon as your gaze fell on your reflection in the mirror, you held your breath.

It looked even better than you had imagined.

The wedding gown was made of pure white silk, with a sheer, shimmering soft tulle over the skirt. The golden embellishments with small pearls adorning the neckline, the waist and the hem of the skirt glimmered under the morning light, making it look as if it was indeed sewn together by actual gold, making you let out a breath. The small pearls that were dangling from gold filigrees right above the tiny diamonds matched the headpiece that was holding your long veil in your hair, trailing behind the dress and you turned a little in your spot, the dress moving with your movements like water.

“Dear God, you’re so beautiful…” Cecily said and you let out a nervous giggle.

“Do you think he will like it?”

“I think he might faint when he sees you.”

You stole a look at Lucie. “Lucie?”

“I can’t say anything without crying I fear,” she said and you squeezed at her hand.

“Thank you,” you said. “Both of you.”

Someone knocked on the door and cracked it open.

“Chérie, I wanted to—” Elias started but stopped talking as soon as his eyes fell on you and he covered his mouth, taking a step back.

“Jesus…” he said. “I don’t think I can go through this day.”

“Elias my love, no one is dying,” Cecily said and he heaved a sigh, then stepped into the room.

“Can we—” he motioned at you and him and Cecily seemed to have understood it before he even finished his sentence.

“Lucie, could you help me with my gown?” she asked and Lucie nodded, then they both walked out of the room, closing the door behind them. You fixed the skirt of your dress.

“What do you think?”

“I think you look amazing,” he managed to say. “And I don’t think I’m ready for you to get married.”

You tilted your head at him. “Elias.”

“I’ll keep a carriage by the church entrance in case you change your mind.”

“Elias.”

“You could just ride away to Stormview, not see him again for the rest of—”

“Elias, I want to marry him,” you reminded him. “He’s the love of my life.”

He ran a hand over his face and nodded.

“I know, I know…” he murmured. “But promise me you will keep it in mind?”

“I promise,” you said with a smile and he took a deep breath.

“Before I leave for the Bridgerton House, I wanted to tell you something,” he said. “And I need you to listen to me carefully, alright?”

You nodded your head. “Of course.”

“I couldn’t care less about what the ton or the law, or the whole world says,” he said. “You will always be my sister before you’re his wife. Which means whatever happens, Stormview Park and here will always be your home if you choose to come back. Now and forever.”

You could feel the burning in your eyes as you sniffled.

“You’re always free to make your own choices and I won’t ask any questions whatever you decide,” he said. “You’re family. I will always be here for you, Chérie.”

You let out a small sob and cleared your throat, wiping at your eyes.

“Elias you’re not supposed to make me cry, I look ugly after I cry,” you managed to say, rushing to hug him and he held you tight, pressing a kiss on top of your head. You pulled back when someone knocked on the door before it opened to reveal your father. He stared at you for a moment as you sniffled again, then offered him a small smile.

“Father.”

“My dearest, you look so beautiful,” he breathed out, then frowned slightly. “Why are you crying though? If you changed your mind we can always—”

“I didn’t!” you cut him off, “Elias made me cry, it’s his fault.”

Elias let out a teary chuckle and wiped at his nose.

“I’d better go to Bridgerton House,” he said as he walked to the door. “Best man duties. I’ll just tell Anthony you changed your mind and you don’t wish to marry him anymore.”

You gasped. “Elias!”

“Some fear will be good for him, he can’t get too comfortable.”

“Don’t say that to him!”

“I’ll see you at the church sister!” he called out as he left the room and your father shook his head slightly.

“He does have a point, that boy shouldn’t get too comfortable.”

You tilted your head at him, repressing a smile.

“Are you allowed to sit down in that gown of yours?” he asked and you nodded.

“I think so,” you said. “I haven’t been advised against it at least.”

He motioned at the sofa and you went to sit down on it, with him following you.

“First of all, I must ask you,” he said. “Are you sure about this?”

A small laugh escaped from your lips and you nodded your head.

“I am.”

He clicked his tongue.

“I suppose he’s the best choice among those suitors,” he commented. “I wasn’t going to like any of them, but Anthony is the devil I know at least.”

“And he loves me, and I love him.”

“And that,” he pointed at you, “But you don’t have to bring him to dinners, you know? Feel free not to.”

“I think you will warm up to him in time,” you said with a laugh and he ran a hand over his face.

“But,” he said. “My dear, you can always come back. You know that, don’t you? No matter what, you can always come back.”

You nodded, biting down on your lip.

“I know,” you said. “It means more than you could ever imagine, father.”

He fell silent for a moment and cleared his throat, blinking fast as if trying to stop the tears on their way.

“I know you don’t like me talking about your mother,” he said. “But I just wanted to say that I think she would be proud of you.”

And just like that, the burning in your eyes came back. The bridge of your nose started to tingle, a telltale of you being about to burst into tears but you bit inside your cheek, then shook your head.

“You can always talk about her,” you managed to say. “And I…I think she would be proud of you too. She never stopped loving you after all.”

A sad smile pulled at his lips and you pulled him into a hug.

“Thank you father,” you whispered as he wrapped his arms around you, “For everything.”

He let out a shaky breath and wiped at his eyes before pulling back, coughing to pull himself together.

“He’s still not allowed near the fine china.”

“I think he knows that,” you said with a teary laugh. “I’ll make sure to tell him though.”

“Good,” he said as he stood up. “You do that. I’d better find your aunt before she relocates the wedding breakfast here.”

“Alright,” you said as he walked to the door. “Can you send Lucie and Cece here too?”

“Of course,” he said and left the room, leaving you alone there. You took a deep breath and looked up, then smiled.

“Don’t worry mom,” you whispered. “I will be so happy with him.”

When you got to the church, of course everyone was already there. Unlike Elias, you hadn’t opened the ceremony to all the ton, instead, the church would be attended by close friends and family, with the rest of the ton either waiting for you by the church entrance or attending the wedding breakfast at Bridgerton House after.

You were so excited that you felt as if your heart would explode while you waited by the hall Lucie fixing your veil as Cecily made her way to the altar so that she would be standing right beside you when it was time for you to make your vows, along with Eloise and Iona, and Elias was already there beside Anthony, with Benedict and Colin.

Your father heaved a deep sigh.

“Your brother told you about the carriage by the front door?” he asked and you pulled your brows together.

“Are you serious?”

“Oh yes, it’s waiting there still,” he said. “Just say the word.”

You bit down on a smile and shook your head.

“I won’t be taking it,” you managed to say. “Thank you for the option though.”

He offered you a small smile.

“Very well then,” he said. “Are you ready?”

You bounced on the balls of your feet and nodded fervently, making him chuckle before he offered you his arm. You took it and stepped to the entrance with him, the chatter ceasing all at once but you hardly noticed it. Elias grinned and said something to Anthony, nodding in your direction and Anthony turned around to look at you.

That.

That look right there.

That was what you had wanted your whole life. That was what you had craved before Stormview, before everything that had happened, even before you had left Paris.

Why you had rejected everyone, why you had changed your mind about being able to stand a marriage without the love you wanted with Pierre, it had all been about this moment, this look in his eyes.

Dear God, he looked so handsome.

You bit down on your lip to stop yourself from smiling wide as you reached the altar and your father squeezed at your arm before taking his seat by the pew. You looked up at the bishop while the rest of the guests sat down as well and the bishop cleared his throat, ready to start the ceremony. Through the excitement pulsing through you, you noticed how Anthony hadn’t even turned his gaze to the bishop, instead he was completely focused on you, almost in a haze. You stole a mischievous glance at him before turning to bishop again who had raised his brows.

“Lord Bridgerton?”

That snapped him out of it, making him turn to the bishop as Colin and Benedict chuckled, but Elias heaved a shaky sigh, blinking fast as if he was trying to stop the tears. Cecily smiled at him, mouthing something you couldn’t quite figure out.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the…”

You had planned to listen to the speech of the bishop quite carefully, but it was no use, even the thought of it. While you had to force yourself to focus through the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your ears, you picked up on the “carnal lusts and appetites” part, biting inside your cheek.

It was only when the bishop said prosperity and adversity that you heard Elias clear his throat, no doubt trying to stifle a sob and Anthony reached inside his jacket to pull out his handkerchief, then handed it to him without so much as looking at him. The bishop pulled his brows together.

“Lord Westcliff?”

“I’m alright,” Elias said, waving a hand in the air as Anthony heaved a sigh, shaking his head slightly. You looked between them, then went past Anthony to get closer to Elias and wrapped your arms around him to hug him, earning an “aww” from the guests by the pews.

“Elias,” you whispered to his ear. “I love you, but I will make you suffer if you make my wedding about you.”

He let out a teary laugh and nodded, “Understood.”

You pulled back and went to your spot again, Cecily rushing to fix your veil behind you.

“Shall we continue?” the bishop asked you and Anthony, and you tried to control your smile, Anthony pressing his lips together in an attempt to do the same.

“Yes,” you managed to say. “Thank you.”

The rest of the ceremony had gone without any hiccups and you still couldn’t believe that you were married. You had hardly gotten a chance to talk to Anthony though, as soon as you had arrived in the house, you were pulled into different directions, Anthony to some lords who wanted to have a conversation with him at the house and you to ladies in the garden who all seemed very eager to congratulate you and comment on your wedding gown.

You played with the gorgeous ring Anthony had slipped onto your finger at the altar as you listened to Lady Moore talk about what happened at her own wedding though it took some extra effort.

“But I didn’t wear a veil, neither did a lot of brides this season. Is it French fashion, Y/N?”

Your head snapped up and you cleared your throat, trying to focus.

“Oh yes,” you said. “It’s quite popular. I just had to take mine off to greet the guests, it would be quite difficult otherwise, even to walk around.”

“Understandable, by the size of it,” Lady Moore said. “I wish someone told me that veils were in fashion!”

“Well, our lovely bride here seems to be the expert,” Lady Radway said. “No doubt everyone else will be following your lead on that for the rest of the season. We will see more brides wearing veils, mark my words.”

“Who did you say made yours again?”

“Ms. Hill.”

“And your gown?”

“Madame Delacroix.”

“You had two seamstresses?”

“Three,” you corrected her. “Mrs. Jones made my trousseau.”

“You’ve hired three different seamstresses?” Lady Radway asked and you nodded before your eyes caught the sight of Lady Danbury, so you quickly excused yourself to approach her.

“Lady Danbury,” you said, smiling brightly at her and she tilted her head, a small smile playing on her lips as well.

“Viscountess Bridgerton.”

Even hearing it was enough to make you giggle.

“I wanted to thank you,” you said, trying to pull yourself together. “For everything you and Lady Bridgerton have done. If it weren’t for you I don’t think this could’ve happened.”

She shot you a knowing look.

“Oh it would have,” she said. “You and Anthony just had to stop being stubborn first.”

You let out a laugh. “Still. I could never pay back your favor.”

“You could,” she said. “By being happy.”

“I’m incredibly happy!” you managed to say. “It feels as if I haven’t stopped smiling the whole day, which…I think I haven’t, really.”

“Oh that’s a good way to start a marriage,” she said. “And where is that husband of yours?”

You couldn’t help the giddy laugh climbing up your throat and looked around.

“He was with some lords the last I got to see him,” you said, pointing at the house. “Over there. You would think we’d be able to spend some time together today at least, but I only got to speak to him for a moment, that’s all.”

“Oh I doubt you will have the time until after this,” she commented. “What time are you two leaving for Aubrey Hall?”

“Around afternoon,” you answered way too fast. “I haven’t been there before but Anthony mentioned we would reach there by nightfall.”

Lady Danbury opened her mouth to say something but her eyes fell on someone over your shoulder before you heard a familiar voice.

“Madame.”

You looked over your shoulder to see Pierre and paused for a moment, then managed to smile.

“Monsieur Allard,” you said, trying your hardest to hide your surprise. “Hello.”

“May I borrow the bride for a moment?”

You turned to steal a glance at Lady Danbury who shrugged her shoulders and you took a deep breath.

“Of course,” you said and started walking beside him, painfully aware of the glances on you.

“I think perhaps I shouldn’t have come,” he started. “But I wished to offer my good wishes and apologies in person.”

“Your apologies?” you asked and he nodded.

“I was not aware that proposal rejections were received in such a strict manner for ladies here,” he said. “Nevertheless, I should not have talked of them with strangers no matter my intoxicated state, please accept my deepest apologies.”

You shook your head.

“Oh no, please don’t worry about it,” you said. “It’s all in the past but I accept your apology quite gladly.”

A sad smile pulled at his lips.

“And your…your marriage, madame,” he said. “Is it of love as you wished?”

You nodded fervently.

“It is,” you said, unable to stop your smile. “I married the love of my life and I hope you will as well, Monsieur Allard. I cannot think of a greater happiness in life.”

“Oh I don’t think I will have it,” he murmured, making you tilt your head in confusion.

“Why not?”

“Just a feeling.”

You pulled your brows together but before you could even protest you saw Lucie making her way to you before she dropped a curtsy.

“My lady,” she said. “Lady Ashdown and Lady Westcliff requests your presence.”

You looked around. “Where are they?”

“In the house.”

You nodded and offered a small smile to Pierre.

“Please enjoy the breakfast, Monsieur Allard,” you told Pierre. “Excuse me.”

With that, you walked away from him, Lucie accompanying you as you both crossed the huge garden.

“Are Aunt Lavinia and Cece really in the house or was that an excuse to get me out of the conversation?”

“Oh no, they actually want to see you,” she said. “Was the conversation that bad?”

“It was just a bit strange.”

“Understandable,” she said. “So, some of the guests are inside the house as well but we will get you directly upstairs to the room they’re in.”

You nibbled on your lip. “Have you seen Anthony?”

“I feel like he’s been taken hostage by Lord Thompson,” she said. “I could swear he was trying to get away before he pulled him into another conversation about fencing. He and some of the lords including Lord Wescliff and Lord Hastings are in the parlour.”

“And when will I get to see him I wonder,” you grumbled and she shot you a look as you both walked into the house.

“You will have all the time to see him in the Aubrey Hall,” she reminded you as you smiled at the guests but followed her upstairs in a haste.

“Finally,” you muttered under your breath. “I cannot believe I had to wait this long to hear about it.”

“The consummation?”

“I gather you don’t know either?” you asked and she bit down on a smile, then shrugged her shoulders.

“I can’t say I’m very familiar with what happens between a husband and a wife,” she said before you both stopped at the door.

“Wait, Lucie,” you said as she raised her fist to knock on the door. “My list of questions.”

She heaved a sigh and pulled it out of her pocket, then handed it to you and knocked on the door.

“Come in!”

“Lady Ashdown, Lady Westcliff,” Lucie curtsied when she opened the door and you smiled at them, then walked inside.

Aunt Lavinia was sitting on the armchair while Cecily was leaning against the desk by the window. You swallowed thickly, your heart beat speeding up while you turned the folded paper in your hand.

“My dearest,” Aunt Lavinia said, “Sit down, sit down!”

You went to perch on the edge of the bed, fixing the skirts of your gown carefully before looking up at her. Aunt Lavinia exchanged glances with Cecily before turning to you.

“So,” she said. “I’m sure you know why we called you here.”

“To tell me about consummation,” you said, nodding your head before you extended your hand so that she could take the folded paper from you. “There.”

“What is this?”

“My list of questions.”

Aunt Lavinia unfolded the paper and her eyes widened as she turned the page over.

“Y/N, there are fifty questions here.”

“I wanted to make sure I included everything,” you said. “You can start from whichever one you like.”

Cecily suppressed a laugh and Aunt Lavinia shook her head slightly, scrunching up the paper in her hand, making you gasp.

“Aunt Lavinia!”

“My dear, consummation of your marriage is not a test of the sort,” she said. “You do not need a list.”

“But—”

“Why don’t you tell me what you know about it?” she asked and you took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling for a moment, straining your mind.

“I—I know that...” you stammered, a fire burning your face. “It has something to do with kissing.”

Aunt Lavinia nodded. “And?”

“And the act results in a lady coming to be with child.”

“Not each time,” Aunt Lavinia said. “But yes, it can result in such. Y/N, when you were in Paris, you’ve seen portraits and sculptures, did you not? Of male physique?”

The burning on your face got even hotter. “Yes.”

Aunt Lavinia opened her mouth, then closed it again, clearing her throat.

“I can’t believe Cassie did this to me,” she murmured more to herself. “So during the marital act, the husband and wife—” she brought her hands together. “Join, using what he has and what you have.”

You tilted your head. “Join,” you repeated. “How?”

“Well, they…” Aunt Lavinia turned to look at Cecily. “Am I being terrible at this?”

“You’re way better than my mama was already,” Cecily commented. “She just told me to lie still and—”

“Lie still?” you exclaimed, sitting up straighter. “Cece, I can’t even sit still most of the time, how am I to lie still?”

“Y/N, no.”

“You don’t have to,” they both said at the same time and you looked between them.

“Then what?”

Aunt Lavinia heaved a sigh.

“Alright, think of it this way,” she said. “Anthony has a key, and you have a lock. And during marital act, you will join when he puts the key into the lock, which is where you have your monthly bleeds.”

Your eyes widened and you pulled back. “I beg your pardon?”

“Now, I understand that it might sound a bit intimidating but—”

“Wait,” you flailed your arms. “Are you sure that’s how it happens?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Aunt Lavinia said with a small chuckle. “And during this act, the key leaves a certain—certain fluid in the lock, and that results in the lady coming to be with child sometimes.”

You frowned, trying to visualize it but failing quite miserably.

“And what am I to…” you cleared your throat in an attempt to focus. “What am I to wear for it?”

“I’m sorry?”

“The act of consummation is important and mother used to say I had to look my best for important events, so what am I to wear for it?”

Cecily raised her brows. “I told you before,” she said. “You are to wear nothing.”

“And I’ve told you Cece, I’m not supposed to be without my clothes on in front of anyone,” you protested. “Least of all my husband, surely. Anthony would think it’s a scandal.”

“I promise you he will not think it’s a scandal,” Cecily said with a small grin and you shook your head.

“He would see it as disrespect and tell me to leave the room, no matter how in love he is with me.”

“That’s the opposite of what he’s going to do if you ask me.”

“You will be in your nightgown at first but he will take it off—”

“He will not take it off,” you cut Aunt Lavinia off, your voice almost too stubborn as you raised your chin in a defiant manner and she shot you a look.

“He will be without his clothes on as well,” she said and that was enough to make you stop talking. You swallowed thickly as the memory shot through you, back when you two were in the maze and it had started raining, his nightshirt had clung to his body, letting you see what was underneath and even the thought of it sent sparks through you, those tingles making themselves known as you shifted your weight.

The desire of seeing him without his clothes on was almost too distracting but you took a deep breath, forcing yourself to focus.

“…Are you certain?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the act of consummation?” you felt the need to check and Aunt Lavinia smiled.

“Yes it is.”

You blinked a couple of times, then shook your head.

“Then perhaps he does not wish to commit the act with me.”

Cecily scoffed a laugh. “What?”

“Because he would have told me I think,” you said. “We have quite a wonderful communication if you ask me. Anthony never mentioned anything like that to me, nor has he given me any implications of such.”

Cecily cleared her throat, trying to keep a straight face.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.”

“No implication at all?”

“No, I would be able to tell if he did.”

“See, I think you’re wrong—”

“He’s not supposed to mention anything like that to you before marriage, he knows that,” Aunt Lavinia said. “But I’m glad you brought it up, because now I need you to listen to me very carefully, alright?”

You nodded your head, looking up at her.

“He may be your husband,” she said. “But having you is not something that is owed to him. It’s not a right but a privilege. You can always say no when you don’t wish to commit the act and you can always stop him no matter what, do you understand?”

You nodded again.

“And,” she said. “In terms of your wedding night. Judging by the way that man looks at you, I think everyone can agree that he may be a bit impatient. If he wants to have you before you two get to Aubrey Hall, in the carriage or on anywhere else—”

You pulled back slightly. “In the carriage? That’s impossible.”

“No matter where,” Aunt Lavinia said. “If he attempts such before you get to Aubrey Hall, you will say no. You’re a lady and you’re a Viscountess now, you will insist on a proper room and a proper bed. No matter how much he wants to bed you, he will have to be patient until you two arrive at your destination.��

You fell silent for a moment before the memory crossed your mind.

“Miriam said…” you trailed off. “When the—when the act is being done, does it hurt?”

Cecily shook her head fervently.

“Don’t listen to Miriam.”

“But does it?”

“No. Mine did not, at all.”

“If you’re in an unprepared state, it could,” Aunt Lavinia said. “But I’m sure you will not be. I’ve seen how you two are around each other, it’s quite clear your husband will be careful.”

You thought for a second. “What if he’s in an unprepared state and it hurts him?”

“That’s not how—it will not hurt him,” she said, biting down a smile. “The act is very pleasurable and I’m sure you will enjoy it, so will he.”

The anticipation almost made your head spin, thoughts rushing through your mind. You still found it hard to believe that Anthony wanted to perform that act with you, seeing that he hadn’t even given you a hint of it but Aunt Lavinia and Cecily seemed to be sure of themselves, for some reason.

It had to be one of those things married couples did only when they wanted to have babies, regardless of whether the act was pleasurable as Aunt Lavinia had said. Perhaps that was the reason why he had given you no implications about it.

Surely you would’ve been able to tell if Anthony desired such a thing.

“Well,” Aunt Lavinia said. “We shouldn’t keep you for long, I’m sure the guests are wondering where the bride is. Off you go.”

Your head shot up and you cleared your throat, then stood up.

“Can I have my list back please?” you asked, extending your hand.” I wish to ask them to Anthony.”

Aunt Lavinia shook her head.

“I’m sure he will have no problem with demonstrating my dear, you don’t need a list.”

You pouted your lips and heaved a dramatic sigh.

“I still think you’re mistaken but thank you,” you managed to say before you left the room, lost in your thoughts. You would be lying if you said you weren’t curious about it, but seeing that he had no interest in it—

But the act had to happen for you to have a baby, and considering a lady could only come to be with a child once a month, you figured maybe Anthony would agree to do it on some months after you consummated tonight.

Even the thought of it was enough to make your heart slam against your chest, excitement distracting you so much that you hadn’t even realized the door to Anthony’s study opening before someone grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you inside, making you squeal in surprise.

It was only when Anthony closed to door to press you back against it that a giggle spilled from your lips. He smiled down at you, that happy light glimmering in his eyes.

“Hello my beautiful wife.”

You could swear your heart melted and you stood on your tiptoes to peck him on the lips, but pulled back before he could deepen the kiss.

“Hello my handsome husband,” you greeted him back. “What are you doing, pulling me into rooms?”

“Well I’m allowed to have you alone in rooms now, am I not?”

“As if that stopped you before,” you said like a melody as he leaned in but you giggled and went past him to walk to the huge desk, the thought shooting through your head like lightning in a storm before you twirled around to grin at him, your skirts flying around you.

“Go on then.”

He tilted his head. “What?”

“It appears to me that I won,” you said, shrugging your shoulders before pointing at his desk. “And I know you keep the paper of our wager there, so go on. I want it in writing that I won.”

That made him let out an amused chuckle. “Are you serious?”

“I counted all the couples last night when I couldn’t sleep,” you said. “With us, there are more couples in marriages of love than marriages of convenience. And you believe in love now because you love me, so go ahead. That was the bet, you would admit your defeat.”

He held up his hands, gesturing surrender before he walked to his desk with you following him, but then he covered your eyes, making you laugh.

“What are you doing?”

“There’s something else in that drawer, I don’t want you to see it yet.”

“What is it?”

“Your wedding gift,” he said, making you gasp.

“What is it?”

“You’ll see soon,” he said as you heard him pull open the drawer before closing it and lowered his hand so that you could see. You bounced on the balls of your feet.

“But what is it?”

“You’ll see when the paperwork is finished,” he said, pressing a kiss on your temple before laying the paper of your wager on the desk. You leaned back the desk, keeping your eyes on him while he dipped the quill into the inkpot, then scribbled something on the paper.

Dear God, you still couldn’t believe he was yours.

He signed his name, oblivious to your hungry gaze and you cleared your throat, trying to snap out of the haze as he pushed the paper in your direction.

He had written your names under the column of love, the sight making you smile before your eyes fell on the sentence at the bottom of the page, right above his signature.

To the victor I yield.

You smiled before you stuck your nose in the air with an exaggerated air of arrogance.

“I accept your defeat gracefully.”

“Oh do you now?” he grinned before he grabbed you by the waist to sit you down on the desk, making you let out a squeak which soon turned into a giggle. You grasped at his arm, a fire spreading over your face as he leaned in to capture your lips with his.

“Mon amour, we…” you managed to say as you pulled back, his lips chasing yours. “We must return to the guests.”

He shook his head. “They should take it as a sign to leave.”

“Anthony!”

“It’s a breakfast, why are they staying until afternoon?”

“Anthony—” you attempted to suppress your laugh. “It’s not appropriate to disappear during our own wedding breakfast.”

“I’m good with inappropriate,” he murmured, pulling you into another kiss, making you heave a happy sigh. To be completely honest, you were also good with inappropriate if he kept kissing you like this and your bit down on your lip to contain the whine threatening to climb up your chest. His lips slipped to your neck, that coil getting tighter at the pit of your stomach, your eyes fluttering close, your head spinning in ultimate pleasure as his hands gathered the silk skirts of your gown, slipping higher until—

The thought shot through your mind like a bullet and you snapped out of your daze and held your breath, then pushed at his hands in a haste, causing him to pull back.

“No we’re supposed to—” you stammered, trying to pull yourself together though it felt as if your thoughts were hidden behind a fog. “We—I’m supposed to—”

Dear God, why did it feel so difficult to even put the words together?

You licked your lips, straining your mind to recall the exact words, trying to catch your breath.

“I’m a lady and a Viscountess now,” you managed to repeat the words, looking up at the ceiling to remember the rest, your brows furrowed. “I…I insist on a proper room and a proper bed.”

Anthony tilted his head, an amused smile playing on his lips, his eyes full of fondness.

“Ah,” he said. “Fair enough. Who told you to say that darling?”

“Aunt Lavinia,” you answered. “Just now—but Anthony, she took my list!”

“What list?”

“My list of questions, I prepared it last night,” you said. “And she took it!”

“Did she?”

“Yes and she didn’t give it back, can you believe that?”

Anthony squeezed at your upper leg, sending sparks through you.

“I’d offer to get it back my love, but I don’t think you want to be a widow just yet.”

You gasped, smacking at his arm, making him laugh.

“What? You know what I’m talking about.”

“Those are just alleged rumors.”

“Mm hm, sure. Alleged.”

“They are.”

“Elias told me.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I have no idea what you speak of.”

“So the stabbing incident?”

“There was no stabbing, it was poison—” The retort left your lips before you had a chance to stop it and your hands shot up to cover your mouth, coaxing a chuckle out of him.

“Exactly.”

“You did that on purpose!” you said, smacking at his arm again. “You’re not supposed to bait me anymore, we’re married!”

“And our first act as a married couple is having a quarrel, how surprising,” Anthony said with a wide grin and you took a deep breath to retort but before you could even say anything, you heard someone slamming their hand on the door.

“Anthony, if my sister is there I swear to God you two will have the shortest marriage in the whole human history.”

You exchanged glances and Anthony threw his head back, heaving a sigh. You fixed your gown in order to look appropriate and squeezed at his arm.

“You can come in Elias,” you called out and Elias opened the door, glaring at Anthony with narrowed eyes.

“Unbelievable,” he said, motioning at you two. “A scandal, that’s what this is.”

Anthony reached out to lift your hand so that Elias could see the ring on your finger. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“I choose to not acknowledge this,” he said. “Chérie, we can get you an annulment right now, you know? Just say the word.”

Anthony pinched the bridge of his nose. “Elias, get out.”

Elias pulled his brows together, leaning against the doorframe. “I’m not in the room.”

“I know, get out of my house.”

“Oh I will stay until the last minute,” he said before turning to you. “No seriously though, some guests are asking for you. Something about your wedding gown, I didn’t listen.”

You nodded and rushed to the door, then turned to look over your shoulder.

“Anthony?”

“Will be there in a moment darling.”

Elias threw an arm over your shoulder.

“Feel free to stay here and think about your actions,” he pointed at him, making you grin while Anthony rolled his eyes at him, and you pulled Elias along with you down the hallway.

“When exactly are you going to be alright with this?” you asked and Elias heaved a deep sigh.

“Not soon, dear sister,” he grumbled. “Not soon.”

You let out a laugh and pulled him to the door so that you two could step outside to the garden filled with guests.

The rest of the breakfast went rather smoothly, despite the chaos. If it weren’t for Lucie, you probably wouldn’t have even had the chance to eat your own wedding cake, going from guest to guest. Everyone seemed to be having fun, Simon and Daphne were with Anthony, Benedict and Colin, the rest of the family scattered along the garden, Gregory and Hyacinth chasing each other while Francesca and Eloise were having a conversation with Penelope. Iona, Hugh and Kenneth had just left the house, Iona going to Lucie almost in the instant that she saw her, and Aunt Lavinia and your father seemed to be in a deep conversation with Lady Bridgerton and Lady Danbury by one of the tables set in the garden while Cecily and Elias seemed to be in their own world, almost oblivious to anyone else.

But towards the afternoon the guests had started to depart after congratulating you and wishing you a happy marriage, and soon enough it was only the family left, which meant it was time for you to depart for Aubrey Hall. If it were up to Anthony, you probably would have left much sooner but he had managed to be subtle about it in front of other guests. The carriage that Lucie would take along with another maid was already filled with chests of your gowns and jewelry along with your trousseau while the coachmen prepared the carriage you would take with Anthony. You had already bid your goodbyes to Anthony’s family—your family now, as you reminded yourself— and Iona and Kenneth, and your father had pulled Anthony aside, gathering amused looks from his siblings and Simon. Cecily hugged you tight before pulling back, wiping at her eyes.

“Have fun,” she said, fanning her face with her hands. “I’m so emotional today, sorry about that.”

“I started crying of happiness last night and did that a couple of times today in the washroom, I’m the last person to judge you,” you said, shooting her a happy smile. “And thank you Cece. For everything you’ve done, for…making this possible. I’m so proud to have the privilege of calling you my best friend.”

Cecily wiped at her eyes again. “Alright, now you’re doing this on purpose,” she said, repressing her laugh with a sob. “Go. Have fun, and you will tell me all about your new house when you come back, do you hear me Viscountess Bridgerton?”

You giggled and nodded fervently.

“I’m so excited.”

“As you should be. I haven’t been to Aubrey Hall before but Elias says it’s gorgeous.”

You nibbled on your lip and turned your head as Aunt Lavinia came closer to hug you.

“Oh my beautiful princess,” she said. “You remember everything I told you?”

You nodded your head as she pulled back to blink back the tears.

“Yes Aunt Lavinia, thank you so much,” you said and out of the corner of your eye you saw Elias finishing his conversation with the butler and making his way to you.

“Is it my turn now?” he asked and you let out a small laugh, then wrapped your arms around him. He hugged you back and lifted you off the ground, making you giggle before putting you down again, then pulled back to look at you better.

“All jokes aside,” he said. “I’m so happy for you Chérie.”

You tilted your head to the right. “Let me guess, you’ll be happier if I turn the carriage around halfway?”

“Oh no, I know a lost battle when I see one,” he said, holding up his hands. “You two are in love, no matter how much I grumble about it.”

“But you will grumble about it?”

He shrugged his shoulders.

“Only sometimes,” he said. “But he is one of the greatest men I’ve ever known, and he makes you happy, and it’s very clear that you make him incredibly happy.”

You swallowed thickly, blinking back the tears.

“But your happiness is the most important to me,” he said. “Keep that in mind, will you?”

“Elias I cried like five times today,” you protested. “Why are you trying to make it six times?”

He smiled at you and reached out as if he wanted to ruffle your hair but you gasped and swatted his hand away.

“Lucie spent like a full hour on this, you can’t touch it!”

“There, you’re back.”

You let out a tearful giggle and wiped at your eyes.

“I’ll be back in exactly seven days and continue annoying you,” you said. “I might even annoy you with letters in the meantime, Anthony says it takes a day for the letters to go between here and Aubrey Hall.”

“Right,” he said. “Here I thought I would have some peace and quiet for a week and yet here we are.”

“You will never have peace and quiet,” you reminded him. “I’ll always make sure that doesn’t happen.”

He held up his pinky. “Promise?”

You shot him a small smile before hooking your pinky with his. “Promise.”

He chuckled and stole a look at Anthony who shook his head at something your father was saying before he answered.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” you asked and he heaved a sigh.

“Oh you know, the usual,” he said. “Death and destruction upon him if he breaks your heart and all that.”

“My lord, the carriage is ready,” the coachman said, making Anthony and your father turn to look at the carriage before Anthony made his way to you and Elias.

“Darling,” he greeted you. “Ready?”

“I’ll just say goodbye to my father and I will be.”

“And you?” Anthony asked Elias. “Truce?”

Elias rolled his eyes and pulled him into a hug to smack his back, making you smile.

“Welcome to the family officially, you prick,” he murmured and Anthony let out a chuckle.

“Funny, I was going to tell you the same thing.”

You shook your head at them and made your way to your father who heaved a shaky sigh, blinking a couple of times.

“My dear.”

“Father,” you said. “Are you alright?”

He waved a hand in the air. “I’m trying to control myself from paying off the coachman to turn the carriage halfway and bring you back,” he said, making you repress a laugh.

“We talked about this,” you told him, “I can take care of myself, you know that.”

“Oh I never doubted that for a second,” he said. “Bridgerton won’t know what hit him.”

“I think he already does.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “You might have a point,” he said. “You can come back anytime you want though. You don’t have to complete a week, maybe you’ll miss London—”

“Father.”

“Alright, alright…” he said, signaling surrender. “How about this then? I will miss you during this week.”

“See? We’re making progress already.”

“And you look absolutely beautiful.”

“Going really well.”

“And I think your mother would be so happy for you if she could see you now.”

Tears rushed to your eyes and you wiped at them in a haste, shooting him a small smile.

“I think she can,” you admitted. “I feel like she can.”

He nodded slowly and you sniffled.

“Oh dear God, this makes it the sixth time I cried today,” you said, fanning at your face. “I’d better get in that carriage before I burst into sobs.”

“Or I do,” he murmured and you wrapped your arms around him to pull him into a tight hug. He hugged you back, rubbing at your back before pressing a kiss on top of your head and pulling back.

“I will see you in a week then?”

“Yes you will,” you said and walked to Anthony who was by the carriage, talking to Elias but they both stopped when you reached them, Anthony tilting his head.

“Is everything alright?”

“Absolutely,” you said, still fanning at your face and Elias cleared his throat, looking elsewhere as if he was about to burst into tears as well.

“You’re not going to stop us on the way, are you?” Anthony asked and Elias glared at him.

“Stop giving me ideas.”

The coachman opened the carriage door for you and Anthony helped you into the carriage, Lucie hurriedly getting the long train of your gown into the carriage as well. Anthony got in the carriage after you and the coachman closed the door, then went to his spot as you heard the horses neigh before the carriage started moving. You sniffled, turning your head to look at your family by the stone road, their figures getting smaller and smaller and you heaved a sigh, then turned in your spot again. Anthony grabbed your hand to press a kiss on the back of it.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I cried for six times today,” you admitted, making him shoot you an affectionate smile. “That’s about one crying period per one and a half hours.”

“Of happiness I hope?”

You smiled and nodded your head before he cupped your cheek to nuzzle into your hair, his thumb tracing your cheekbone. You wrapped your fingers around his wrist, closing your eyes like a content cat before you yawned, making him chuckle.

“Sleepy?”

“A little,” you said, rubbing at your eye as you looked up at him. “I couldn’t sleep last night at all because of the excitement and the whole day I barely sat down.”

He thought for a moment.

“Well, we have hours until we get to Aubrey Hall,” he said. “Why don’t you rest a little?”

“But Anthony, this is our wedding day,” you protested. “We should talk about how incredibly happy and in love we are before I sleep!”

He let out a laugh.

“We have a lifetime for that my love,” he said. “I think you can get some rest first, hm?”

You heaved a sigh and yawned again, then snuggled closer to his chest, inhaling his pleasant scent. He pressed a kiss into your hair and wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight as you relaxed in his embrace.

Then, sleep pulled you into its warmth.

You were so exhausted that you hadn’t woken up even once on the way until you felt Anthony’s hand caressing your hair, his lips pressing a kiss on your temple, his deep voice seeping through the fuzziness surrounding you.

“We’re here darling.”

That was more than enough to make every trace of sleep disappear from your mind, making you open your eyes and realize how dark it was outside. Excitement shot through you so fast that you nearly got a head spin as you sat up in the carriage that had stopped moving, and the coachman opened the door while Anthony grinned at you.

“Shall I carry you?”

“Oh that would surely make a wonderful first impression,” you said, making him chuckle and he got off the carriage, then held out his hand for you. You placed your hand in his and grabbed the train of your dress with your other hand, then stepped out of the carriage and raised your head, a gasp leaving your lips the moment your eyes fell on the beautiful structure.

Aubrey Hall was bigger than you imagined but considering the only point of comparison for British countryside homes you had was Stormview Park, you had tried to keep your expectations in check. Both constructions had their similarities, like the central blocks that spanned out to both sides in wings. Aubrey Hall, however, was more layered than Stormview. The central block had three stories and the wings had two but the second stories of the wings were pushed back slightly, almost like they hiding themselves from the unobservant visitor. The path the carriage was on approached the house on its side, not head on like some of the ones you visited in France. A porte-cochère circled the width of the property, creating a perfect space for the carriage to stop before the small staircase that led to the front doors. You also noticed that there was some kind of climbing plant growing around some parts of the outside of the house, especially the pillars surrounding the front door. The flowers were in full bloom, making it look even more magical under the moonlight.

You couldn't help but feel like whereas Stormview Park looked like a construction, a wonder of architecture, Aubrey Hall looked like a home.

The kind of place you had always dreamed about raising your children in.

You were aware that he was watching you with a small smile, obviously pleased with your reaction while you stared at the house, your mouth slightly open.

“Anthony it’s so beautiful!” you whispered, looking around you in complete awe before you noticed the members of staff by the staircase. There looked to be around ten people, which you figured was expected, seeing that most of the staff was back in London with the rest of the family.

“My lord,” a man approached you and Anthony and bowed his head. “My lady. Welcome.”

“My darling, this is Mr. Kensley, the estate administrator,” Anthony introduced you and you smiled at Mr. Kensley. The estate administrator was almost crucial to have when it came to big houses like these, to take care of the house and making everyday decisions about the property and financial matters while Anthony was away.

“Hello Mr. Kensley.”

“And our second housekeeper Mrs. Weston,” Anthony said as a stern looking woman stepped closer to you. “Mrs. Weston, allow me to introduce you to the lady of the house, Viscountess Bridgerton.”

You could swear your heart skipped a beat as you beamed at Mrs. Weston while Lucie came closer to you.

“It’s lovely to meet you Mrs. Weston,” you said and she curtsied.

“My lady.”

Ah.

Alright.

Judging by the tone of her voice, it was obvious that getting Mrs. Weston to like you was not going to be very easy. It seemed to have gone over Anthony’s head but of course it didn’t escaped your attention or Lucie’s for that matter, as she raised her brows at her before stealing a look at you.

You weren’t naïve enough to think that not being on good terms with your housekeeper would create no problems, especially considering you had just gotten married. In addition to hiring you tutors on anything you wanted, your mother had also personally made sure you had gotten a strict education on how to run a house as well, and one of the main rules was that you had to make sure to have a good communication with the people who were responsible of supervising the staff.

And seeing that the main housekeeper of the Bridgerton house was back in London, you were guessing Mrs. Weston would be the go-to person throughout your time in here.

“My lord, I was wondering if I could have a moment?” Mr. Kensley said, snapping you out of your thoughts and Anthony frowned slightly.

“Right now?”

“Yes.”

“Is it urgent?”

“Yes my lord.”

You bounced on the balls of your feet, looking up at Anthony expectantly and he let out a chuckle.

“Go on then.” He nodded at the house. “Go see inside.”

You squealed and ran up the stairs, the long train of your dress flowing behind you while you darted past the maids and went through the front door before you stopped dead on your tracks, letting out a breath.

It looked absolutely gorgeous. Even in the candlelight you could see how similar the air of the house was to the Bridgerton House back in London. White and blue seemed to be the dominant colors and the imperial staircase on each side of the foyer looked to be carved of white marble, adorned by steel railings. You rushed to the first room you saw which turned around to be the dining room and you bit down on your lip, then turned around to bolt out of the room while Anthony and Mr. Kensley walked into the house as well, the staff scattering around in a haste and Lucie approaching you.

“It looks amazing!” she whispered and you nodded with a huge smile, then ran to the next door.

“No of course they can, if their roof is—darling, that’s a coat closet,” Anthony called out and you pulled your hand from the door handle.

“Oh that’s alright, I’ll learn!” you said and went to the next room, peeking your head in. This had to be Anthony’s study, judging by the big library and the desk that had many papers on it along with the comfortable looking sofa across from the desk. You nibbled on your lip and went by the foyer again.

“We can move them to another house until the roof is repaired, if it collapsed completely—” you heard Anthony say as you whizzed past them to the other door and opened it, stepping inside. This had to be a drawing room and you guessed there were multiple drawing rooms in the house, judging by how big it was. It looked warm and inviting, like any guest would feel at comfort just by stepping inside and you lingered there for a moment, Anthony and Mr. Kinsley’s voices reaching you.

“Is that all?”

“No my lord, there’s another issue.”

“Jesus Christ,” Anthony murmured. “What is it?”

“The Ward family’s crops,” Mr Kensley said as you whirled around on your heels and almost bumped into Mrs. Weston.

“Oh!” you said, trying to catch your breath and stepped back and Mrs Weston cleared her throat.

“Shall I show you your rooms, my lady?”

…Right.

That—

You had been so excited about discovering your new house that for a moment you had forgotten about anything else. Your heart started beating in your throat as you swallowed thickly, then managed to smile.

“Of course,” you said after a beat and turned to look at Anthony, trying to decide whether you were supposed to let him know but you didn’t have to wonder for long because he turned his head while Mrs. Weston and Lucie started climbing the stairs.

“Going upstairs?” he asked you and you nodded.

“I’ll be there in a moment my love,” he said, his gaze lingering on you a second longer than it was supposed to before he looked at the papers Mr. Kensley was showing him. You shifted your weight and lifted your skirts just a little so that you wouldn’t trip on them, then followed Mrs. Weston and Lucie upstairs.

“My lady,” Mrs. Weston said, stopping by a door before she opened it for you, then moved aside.

“Thank you,” your voice came out as almost a squeak and you stepped into the room, your eyes darting around. Two maids looked like they had just stopped putting wood into the fire in the fireplace and stood up and one of them froze as soon as her gaze fell on you.

“Clara,” Mrs. Weston said as if warning her and she hurriedly dropped a curtsy.

“My apologies my lady,” she stammered, exchanging glances with her friend. “It’s just that…your gown is so beautiful.”

“Oh thank you,” you said with a smile and Mrs. Weston nodded at them and they rushed past you out of the room after curtsying, two valets carrying your trousseau chest into the room.

“Anything else, my lady?” Mrs. Weston said and you stole a look at Lucie, then shook your head.

“That will be all for the night Mrs. Weston, thank you.”

“My lady,” she said with a curtsy and walked out of the room, then closed the door behind her, leaving you and Lucie there.

“This is such a gorgeous room,” Lucie commented, looking around. “Even bigger than your room in Avon House, no?”

Your throat felt way too dry but you nodded as she made her way to the chest to open it, then pulled out one of the sheer nightgowns. You could swear your whole face was on fire but you let her get you out of your wedding gown before getting into the nightgown, and she went behind you to pull the hairpins out of your hair while you bit on your bottom lip, keeping your gaze in the mirror but barely seeing yourself.

Desire was rushing through you laced with excitement but you didn’t know what you were supposed to do, or how you were supposed to…

Start it, so to speak.

“How many hairpins did we put into your hair today, a thousand?” she asked with a small laugh and you took a deep breath.

“Lucie?”

“Hm?”

“Do you—” you stammered. “Do you have any idea as to how one… starts the consummation?”

Her hands froze in your hair and her eyes found yours in the mirror.

“What?”

“Aunt Lavinia told me everything,” you said. “And I…I want to but I don’t—I’m not sure about how to approach him on the issue?”

“I don’t think you will have to,” she murmured more to herself and you pulled your brows together.

“You mean we will not consummate tonight?”

“No I think he won’t wait for you to approach him on the issue,” she mimicked you and you took a shaky breath.

“I only know the technical details of the act.”

Lucie raised her brows. “He is a reformed rake, my lady,” she commented. “I’d say he is very well practiced on the act.”

That…

That was more than enough to make all your insecurities crash down on you. You couldn’t believe it hadn’t crossed your mind before but Lucie had a point.

Anthony had done this before. Numerous times with numerous ladies if you had to guess, considering his reputation and now you were standing there like a complete, clueless fool who had no idea about how to even start it, let alone doing it right.

Of course he would compare you to all those other times, and to make it even worse, you wouldn’t be living up to his expectations.

“So you have nothing to worry about,” Lucie said, unaware of the storm happening in your mind. “He will not disappoint.”

But you had a feeling that you would because surely your desire for him would not be enough to be good at the act.

“Voila! I think I got all of them out,” she said, putting the last hair pin on the vanity before fixing your hair and smiling at you.

“You look absolutely irresistible.”

You tried to swallow the nervous lump in your throat.

“Can I get my dressing gown too please?”

She pulled her brows together. “That’s for the morning.”

“No, I want it now,” you said, fixing your skirts just so that you could do something with your hands and she hummed, then helped you put the silk dressing gown over the sheer nightgown.

“Alright then, let’s go.”

Your head shot up.

“Go?” you asked. “Go where?”

Lucie pointed at the door connecting your room to what you assumed to be Anthony’s room.

“Lady Ashdown said I’m to take you there when you’re ready.”

“What? No—” you said, taking a step back. “We don’t know if he wants me there, he’s probably tired.”

“Oh I’d say he really does want you there, come on.”

“Is he there?”

Lucie pressed her ear to the door, then shook her head. “No, he must be still downstairs,” she said before opening the door and you lingered in your spot before stepping into Anthony’s room.

You were so taken by the nervousness that you couldn’t even admire the room or the huge four poster bed in it. Lucie fixed your dressing gown, then smiled at you.

“Well, I’ll see you in the morning—”

“Lucie, no!” you said in a haste and grabbed at her wrist to stop her from leaving. “You can’t leave.”

“Uh, what?”

“Maybe you could stay,” you said breathlessly and she pulled her brows together.

“I am not going to do that.”

“You can’t leave me alone, you promised me you wouldn’t ever leave me alone years ago.”

“Yes but this is not the fourteenth century so being present during this is not included in my responsibilities, and I’m very much certain that Lord Bridgerton would agree.”

“You wouldn’t stay for the whole time, you would just,” you stammered, “You would just stay for the beginning.”

“My lady.”

“You’d look elsewhere!”

“My lady.”

“Just until I know for certain that I will not do or say anything stupid!”

“If it puts your heart at ease, I doubt he will hear anything you say while you look like this.”

“No because he will think it’s not appropriate that I’m even dressed like this, and considering he is quite experienced and I’m not, he will think that I’m—”

“My lady.”

“That I’m clueless and then he will change his mind—”

“Y/N!” she cut you off, making you stop talking. “I just have one question for you.”

“What?”

“Do you want him?”

You didn’t even hesitate. “Of course I want him!”

“And do you want this consummation?”

“Of course I do Lucie, but he—I want him to want it too. I don’t want to impose on him just by being here, especially if he will compare me to his other…experiences.”

She tilted her head.

“I can assure you,” she said with a small smile. “He will not compare you. My lady he’s in love with you, there is no room for comparison.”

You blinked a couple of times and she pulled her wrist out of your grasp.

“I will see you in the morning,” she said with a small grin. “Have a pleasurable night.”

With that, she walked out of the room, leaving you there alone. You shifted your weight and fixed the skirts of the gown, then made your way to the bed to sit down but as soon as you did, you jumped back on your feet.

It was his room after all, maybe he didn’t want you to sit on the bed.

You pressed the back of your hands on your cheeks to help with the burning, pacing in the room before you rushed to the window to open it wide, the cool night air soothing the fire on your face as you closed your eyes.

And then the door opened.

You whirled around on your heels and Anthony looked almost frozen by the door, his gaze unwavering on you, sending fire on your face that no amount of cold could hope to ease. You swallowed thickly, shifting your weight.

“Um Lucie dragged me here,” you managed to squeal before you cleared your throat, motioning with your hands. “And she refused to listen when I told her you’re probably tired from the road and the whole day, should I—should I leave?”

Anthony blinked a couple of times as if he was in a haze.

“Because I don’t mean to impose—” you started but before you could say anything else, he had already closed the door behind him and tossed the papers in his hand aside, then he strode to you to pull you into a kiss, his arm sneaking around your waist while his other hand cupped your neck, making you feel almost lightheaded.

You could feel yourself melting into his kiss despite the nervousness pulsing in your veins, and it was only when he pulled back that you realized that you had been holding your breath in anticipation. Anthony ran his thumb over the sensitive skin of your neck before he frowned slightly.

“You’re shaking.”

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat and looked up at him before you shook your head.

“Sorry.”

“No, don’t be,” he said quickly as he pulled his hands back much to your displeasure, making your eyes snap up at his. “I was too—my love, nothing you don’t want will take place now or ever. You do know that, right?”

“I want it to take place,” the words left your lips way too easily, almost taking him by surprise and you licked your lips. “That’s not…that’s not why. I know what—well not practically but technically I know what happens and I want it to take place but I just…” you trailed off as you twisted his ring around his finger, making him smile softly.

“I don’t want you to change your mind,” you said and he pulled his brows together.

“Change my mind?” he repeated. “About what?”

“Loving me.”

He pulled back slightly to look at you better and blinked a couple of times in confusion, as if he wasn’t sure he heard you right.

“What?”

“I usually spend a lot of time on things to be good at them,” you said, your voice almost inaudible. “Like when I was first learning waltz, I had to spend weeks, the same with—with piano and fencing and everything. I’m not good at things on the first try.”

His frown deepened. “…Okay?”

“No you don’t understand,” you insisted. “You’ve done this before. Multiple times, and I don’t want you to change your mind about loving me if I do something wrong or—or if I say something wrong because you’ll compare me to someone and find yourself…” the word felt like poison in your throat. “Disappointed.”

He stared at you for a moment before a look of realization dawned on his face and he exhaled in disbelief.

“Darling I need you to listen to me very carefully now, alright?”

You nodded your head.

“For starters it’s not like waltz or piano, or any of those things you practiced,” he said. “And even if it were, there’s nothing you could ever do or say that could make me love you any less.”

You swallowed thickly, looking up at him.

“And as for comparing you,” he said and shook his head, “How could I ever compare you to someone? You’re the love of my life.”

It was quite strange, the impact of his words. Just a couple of sentences from him was enough to wash away the doubts in your mind like writing on sand disappearing with a mere wave of the ocean, and you felt as if someone was squeezing at your heart, like the love you felt for him was way too much to simply be contained in your chest.

“And nothing can ever change that,” he said, cupping your cheek with his palm. “I love you, and I always will. No matter what we do or don’t do tonight.”

You paused for only a moment before you stood on your tiptoes to pull him into a kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. Those sparks at the pit of your stomach were back in full force and he pulled you closer to press your body against his, the feeling almost intoxicating. A trembling sigh escaped from your lips as he rested his forehead against yours, your lips chasing his for a moment before stealing another kiss from him while he played with the robe of your dressing gown, then tugged at it to open it, the silk slipping off your body like a thousand water drops together, leaving you in your nightgown. He looked nearly mesmerized as his gaze fell on you and you managed not to hug yourself to hide yourself from his burning gaze, instead keeping your hands at your sides, looking up at him.

“God, you’re perfect,” the whisper left his lips and you felt the fire roar through your veins as he kissed you again.

The desire was so strong that you had barely noticed yourself unbuttoning his waistcoat before he threw it somewhere in the room, all you knew that you wanted to feel more of him, propriety be damned. Your hands still felt shaky but you managed to unbutton his shirt as well before slipping it off his broad shoulders, and only then you pulled back from his kiss, your whole face on fire.

He looked as if he was carved by a sculpture, way more beautiful than any work of art you had ever seen. The craving inside of you that you didn’t even have a name for felt like a lightning was making its way through your whole system, making you feel dizzy as you pressed your palm over his bare chest, half expecting it to burn your hand. He dipped his head to capture your lips in a kiss as you dragged your fingertips down his chest, trying to memorize every muscle and every ridge and a gasp escaped from you when his lips trailed down to your neck, awakening sparks underneath. You could feel him bunching up the skirts of your gown and before you could even say anything, he scooped you up into his arms, making you squeal. A giggle spilled from your lips and you buried your face into his neck while he carried you to the bed before carefully placing you on it, his body covering yours as he settled between your legs. He pulled back to look down at you, that soft smile curling his lips even though you could see the desire glimmering in his dark eyes, almost reflecting yours.

“Anthony?” you were surprised you still had a voice and you twisted the ring around his finger, looking up at him while he played with the hem of your nightgown.

“Yes darling?”

“I love you too.”

His smile widened and he leaned in to kiss you again, making your eyes flutter close, a sigh leaving your lips.

And just like that, the rest of the world disappeared.

Chapter 39

#anthony Bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x reader #regency fic

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