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trashlie · 2 months

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ILY FP 258

I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.

Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.

I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!

That's enough rambling, let's jump in.

There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.

But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.

A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.

This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.

I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.

There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.

As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.

Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.

And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.

How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).

He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.

He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.

And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;

For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.

I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...

Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.

But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.

I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.

I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.

And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.

Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.

#ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #I Love Yoo #Kousuke Hirahara #Shinhye #idk what to tag her as because we know she isn't known as Shinhye anymore #and because Simhan and their mother never married AND she was from a previous relationship Yoo isn't even her family name #so I can't really use Shinhye Yoo lol #alas #anyway this episode was DEVASTATING and quimchee said it's the beginning of the sad episodes meant to happen in March #literally said 'It's all downhill from here'#which I take to mean til the timeskip #BUCKLE UP BABIES WE'RE GOING FOR A BIG CRY SESH ;______;#i gotta say tho this episode didn't even make me cry - i guess because none of this is new and I've been bracing myself for it #Kousuke is so fucking wet cat it agonizes me ;_____;#I could write a whole essay on how Yui destroyed him and Nol in one fell swoop #i think a lot about precocious little Kousuke who tried so hard to be a good little boy and rushed through school because he wanted so badl #to hurry up and catch up to his father and join him in the workplace #all the opportunities he lost #the way he tried to fit himself into a personality a person he never picked out but just believed would get him what he wanted #he lost himself in the process #or maybe he never even got to know himself #i think too a lot about Kousuke who played piano and gave it up when he came to believe it wasn't important to his dad #that it didn't garner the attention and praise he seeked #so he dropped it to better mold himself into someone he thought Rand WOULD be proud of #FUCKING DEVASTATED #I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF SOBS

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coquelicoq · 3 months

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raksura for the ask meme?

YAY

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) moon was designed in a lab to appeal to me personally, so. it's about the trust issues!

scrunkly (my "baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) the sky copper clutch!! traumatized children imprinting on a guy with baby fever is usually what i go to fanfic for so to have it right there in canon? incredible. i love all of frost's little tantrums and idk, just the way that she claims moon as her family in a way that has nothing to do with court politics? she's like, we're your clutch, obviously. and this is our court because it's your court, and all the other jabronis who live here are on thin ice. she's ready to throw down with moon's wife/the government at all hours of the day and she's like six years old. i love that moon has that energy in his life even though he personally is pretty confused and exhausted by it lol.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) it's hard out here for an ember stan because he is in so few scenes relative to the space he occupies in my psyche! i need 5000% more interactions between him and moon. him and stone. him and shade. him and river. him and the teachers. him and the clutches. him and jade and balm and chime. oh my god him and malachite? him and celadon? him and delin??

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) niran. i'm always up for a "longsuffering ship captain resigns himself to another restless night of hearing gigantic shapeshifters with incredible stamina fuck nasty on the roof of his cabin" moment. technically i have never been in that exact situation, but i feel like i can relate.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) river who is CLASSIC poor little meow meow territory like yes his whole personality is being a grade A asshole and sure he tries to kill my blorbo a few times, but once you get to know him he's so sad and pathetic that i'm kind of like okay where can i sign up to defend him from the largely factual aspersions of his dozens of quite frankly justified haters? he'd hate that. the good shit 👌

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) stone. every time he crankily says "why did i ever reproduce" upon finding himself entangled in yet another ridiculous clusterfuck thanks to one of his hundreds of idiot great-great-great-great-great grandchildren, an angel gets its wings. he's depressed and antisocial but he can't totally check out because he has to mediate relationship issues between his dumbass relatives. love that for him.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) malachite but specifically because malachite would not be scared of superhell. she'd skulk around being invisible, maybe fuck some shit up if she felt like it, and leave when she got bored. she probably makes it like. opal night's sister city or something. and nobody in the court is at all phased. yeah that's our reigning queen who recently got back from vacation in superhell. she does that. she says it's relaxing.

#yooo thank you for asking for this one!! i had already started thinking about it because river is like. plmms of all time for me #he's the platonic ideal of a plmm in my book #books of the raksura #asks #anon #every few months i check the ember ao3 tag to see if there are any new fics and there hardly ever are. but i live in hope #the moon-ember diplomatic attache tag team would be off the chain. it's all i would ever think about #ember was raised to be an imperial consort in a harem drama and he gets there and the empress is just like.#a deadly grizzly bear with no table manners who loves children and can't read and gets his feelings hurt really easily #moon tells him a bedtime story the second time they meet and ember is like #wow i love you. i'd die for you. if you'll be my bodyguard i can be your long-lost anger translator #a match made in heaven 🥰#meanwhile moon is picking up on none of this and is like. well i guess nobody's going to want me anymore now that they have #a REAL consort. he even knows how to pour tea. bastard. but i have to look out for him because he's so young and innocent. dammit #but if anyone actually needs to be looked out for in the cutthroat world of court politics it's moon. and ember is the one who can do that #i love the idea of indigo cloud needing moon to fulfill some diplomatic function and everyone knowing that the only way #to get him to agree is to send ember to point his big sad eyes at him #ember likes to hang out in moon's bower just dressing him up like a doll. moon submits to this with resigned forbearance #if anyone else tries it he bites off their entire head

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hamletshoeratio · 5 months

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My toxic trait is that I know about the chaos they bring, I know that they will abandon me and our hypothetical kid, I know about the bullshit I would have to deal with as a result of dealing with them, and yet my dumbass would still be charmed by Poseidon, Hermes or Apollo

#pjo series #pjo tv show #pjo tv series #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #“i can fix him' i can't but I'll sure as hell have fun with him and his delusions #yes I'm booboo the clown #at least i'm self aware #I'm blaming the fact I'm too old now to crush on percy now #I'm loving rereading this universe & I'm enjoying picking up on things i missed the first go around & it is all hitting so much harder now #but dam its so bittersweet not to be percys age anymore #it's nice reuniting with these fictional characters who are so beloved by me don't get me wrong #but the first go around I was with Percy every step of the way this time I want to just hold him & tell him everything is going to be ok #dam percy and the gang are my peter pan and the lost boys #hermes pjo #poseidon pjo #apollo pjo #riordanverse

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katyspersonal · 10 months

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I love you so much

#wip #stage 1 (byrgenwerth) and stage 2 (the holy)#stage 3 (the one with the crown that i drew on ancient doodle with brador) isn't ready yet #*picks him up like a cat because he is SHORT*#laurence be cutting his hair short breaking hearts of brador gehrman and micolash #yfw you can't comb and braid it anymore :pensive:

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homeless202 · 1 year

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EY's reaction to finding out HJ used to steal as well when he was younger is so interesting.

How excited he was abt it:

From EY's pov, this straight A student he thought was perfect and never did a single wrong thing in his life, just confessed to having a criminal background. EY used to look down on HJ for his self-righteous and goody-two-shoes behavior. In his eyes, 'good' people like that don't last long bc they're 'sensitive' abt (in his eyes) insignificant stuff, and they often criticize and judge people like him too quickly. That's why he was so curious abt HJ and tried to figure him out, and why he pissed him off so easily. To him, it's a mystery how people like that still exist and manage survive.

One of EY's sources of frustration towards HJ was how EY thought, HJ thought, he (HJ) was better than him (EY) <- which was partially true, HJ did think "I'm miserable, but at least not as miserable as him". But HJ admitting he used to steal showed EY that HJ was not that much better than him. That he's not as stuck-up and 'holier-than-thou' than he previously thought. He had character.

After finding this out, EY gained a lot more respect for HJ. Especially after hearing his story abt how he managed to quit. HJ became a person EY could truly look up to that day.

#it's like. after hj admitted to stealing. him and ey finally were on equal footing. hj wasn't on a pedestal anymore as the good student #just a high school kid like ey. which made ey look up to him more bc:#'hey. this guy is just like me and look where he is. maybe i can get there too one day'#but ey doesn't believe he can actually get there seeing how he never planed on living past 20 #which is why he still keeps getting frustrated with him #and why HJ's words always hit hard when he fucks up -> the person you look up to tells u u can't change? ouch #THERE'S SO MUCH DEPTH HERE i think i'll pick this topic back up later in a new and more extensive post. i'll save the details for that #no home #no home manhwa #집이 없어 #webtoon #stealing arc #multipart #details #meta #eunyung baek #haejoon goh #ey hj parallels #what if i say my ability to read ey's character is bc i kin him? what then? will i become fish fodder?#i love-hate how similar our thinking patterns are

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liazrad · 15 days

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GRRRRR I HATE IT HERE I HATE LIVING WITH MY DAD AND STEPMOM IT'S THE WORST!!!!! I AM FUCKING MISERABLE.

#weed screams #i just wanna snap and yell at them for traumatizing me. I'm so angry. I'm so pissed that I've had to deal with so much bullshit here #I've only been here a week after moving out of the apartment i shared with my brother and I'm already going insane again #i have to buy my own food despite there being plenty in the house. I'm not allowed to bring dishes to my room even for just a few minutes.#there's two large excitable not well trained dogs that bite and scratch me #the cats in the house have to hide in the basement all day (to avoid the dogs) and i feel so bad for them #i feel like im the only one who actually tries to relate to my stepsister. i feel bad knowing she has to stay here too.#my stepmom makes rules without TELLING ME. and then gets all bothered when i don't automatically pick up on em #and the wifi sucks shit so i can't play splatoon #i can't wait to move to New York i just have to wait a little bit longer #enduring the horrors once more till i can escape to the big city #this living situation is both infuriating and saddening. there is NO REASON to justify how stressful it is to be here.#like. when i moved out of this place the first time my mental health improved so suddenly my therapist said i didn't need to see him anymore #that's not a fucking coincidence. my stress and anxiety has a root source and it's this hellhole of a house.

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c-130jsuperhercules · 5 months

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if I don't get out of this fucking store within ten minutes I'm gonna start screaming

#so #my little cousins 8th birthday is on saturday #and so my grandmother has decided that she is going to take him today to pick out a present #and because she can't drive i have to drive them #and i thought i was just gonna pick him up from school #take them to this store have him pick out a gift and then take him home #45 minutes max #it has been an hour and a half and i am still sitting in this fucking store #god #yknow my grandma is always saying 'oh when you leave for Wisconsin you won't be able to drive me around anymore haha'#and it's getting harder and harder to not just respond with 'yay!!'#i have two days off a week i work fifty hours a week and i don't wanna spend my time off in this stupid fucking fucking fucking store #I WANNA GO HOME #IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG

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shiny-airplane · 1 year

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Consider the following: Kantaro and Shiki are both Animal Crossing players and they both post their builds on the internet and they become fans of each other (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

#no art just screaming #paradox live #School ended so I picked up Animal Crossing again to finish HHA #Happy Home Academy my beloved #Planning to remodel my diner to make it Bar 4/7???#I saw this post that was like “what video game would each paralive character play” and I very much agree with AC player Shiki #I can't find the post anymore... (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)#Kantaro Shiki besties agenda #Kantaro streams ACNH and someone suggests to visit Shiki's island and Kantaro gets super impressed #Shiki wakes up to Ryu telling him that he keeps getting phone notifications on his Animal Crossing posts

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47-protons · 8 months

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I love blorbo bingus from my brain. I'm going to put him through a pasta maker. Hes going to be like flat stanely by the time i'm done with him <3

#i am holding him like a stress ball and throwing him as hard as i can at the wall #have you ever mourned that which was still alive. and you can't go back to the people you remember or the guy you used to be #bc events since the time you left have changed you. and you might recognize them when you see them again. but they don't know you anymore #it's ''came back wrong'' except no one died. you left. and you changed. everyone else is the same and waiting for a son brother neighbor #who just. doesn't exist anymore. who died when wings were cut for the first time.#i'm so normal about blorbo from my brain i love him so much i need him crying in a ditch immediately #vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass. ask me about wing clipping. ask me about it. please ask me about why it's so fucking bad #for your birds. hey do you want fun facts aboutw ing clipping :)#he did it willingly. :) it's possible to clip wings painlessly. they were not gentle with it. :)#on an unrelated note. flick has always existed as a way for me to like. process things i'm experiencing. bc i'm really bad at doing that on #my own. this is a habit i originally picked up with fanfic that my therapist encouraged bc. i'm bad at internal brain stuff. make it Outsid #and then i'm Better at it.#he has Always existed as a way for me to hold and turn things around and look at them.#he gets to let his mom go willingly. with fond memories. and that's what i'm going to try so sososososososo desperately to do if i must

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softquietsteadylove · 1 year

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Hello. What if Gil is flying on the back of dragonite to check the field and when dragonite sees Thena he joyfully and carelessly rushes to her forgetting that Gil is on his back. When dragonite suddenly stops on the ground beside Thena Gil looses his grip and falls pretty hard on his back and even loses consciousness for a few minutes?

Would be a little hurt comfort for Thenamesh Pokémon AU

Gil groaned, turning over in bed. He reached out for the closest comfort, finding something soft to bury his nose against. He smiled to himself, "Thena."

"Ursa?"

"Hm?" Gil hummed with a sigh. It was rare for him to wake up with a headache, and his back was killing him. He tightened his arms around what he thought was Thena. Although he wasn't smelling mountain air and her clover-honey shampoo. It smelled like razz berries and whatever laundry detergent she used. "Thena?"

"Ur," the little cub poked Gil in the head again, "sa. Ursa!"

Gil blinked, fully woken up by the claw poking his cheek just gently enough not to draw blood. He looked around him, finding Teddiursa seated on the pillow next to him. Thena had never been next to him, it was their little bear cub.

That was only a little disappointing.

"What happened?" Gil asked as he rolled onto his back to stare up at his ceiling. Except it wasn't his ceiling, it was Thena's. He looked over at the edge of the bed where Dragonite was resting his chin with a remorseful look on his face. "Do I wanna know?"

Dragonite let out a long, drawn out sigh before explaining the situation. They had been on patrol when they had spotted Thena on the ground waving to them. Dragonite, in his own words(?), described how he had nose dived to meet her, somewhat forgetting that Gil wasn't actually strapped into his harness, rather holding onto it lightly. In his excitement, Dragonite hadn't cushioned the landing and all but tossed Gil down to the ground at a pretty intense velocity.

No wonder his back hurt so much.

"Aw, it's okay, buddy," Gil smiled at his poor partner pokemon, who was whining at him with tears in its eyes. He patted the dragon type on the snoot, "I know you didn't mean to."

"He hasn't left your side."

Gil didn't exactly jump up out of bed, but he rolled his head to look at Thena as she walked in. She was clearly done with training for the day, dressed in cozy and casual home clothes as she walked in with a glass of water and some pills.

"I could barely get him to stop crying for the first hour," Thena smiled, letting Dragonite lean his head against her stomach for comfort. She petted its head between its antennae. "Had to move my bed so he could fit next to it.

Now that she mentioned it, it was oddly off centre from the rest of the room, Gil realised. But that made sense--her bedroom wasn't designed to house a fully grown Dragonite in addition to her queen sized bed.

Dragonite looked up at her with watery eyes until she kissed the tip of his nose to comfort him.

She sat beside Gil, bending one knee as she leaned over him. "Take these, it'll help with at least some of the pain."

"Thanks," he murmured, accepting the pills and tossing them back right away. He raised the glass of water to his lips. Thena's hand was at the back of his head, raising it up just enough to swallow. "How long have I...?"

"Dragonite brought you back to the house a few hours ago," Thena said softly, tucking some hair behind her ear. "I already called the ranger centre and explained the situation. They said you're fine to stay the night here and report back in the morning if you're feeling up to it."

"Right," Gil sighed. He felt like he was cashing an awful lot of sick days in the past few months.

"Stop worrying about it."

Gil opened his eyes again, finding Thena leaning over into his line of view. Arceus, she was beautiful.

"You work longer and harder than anyone there, Gil," Thena asserted, not willing to accept any argument on whether or not he should return to work. "You need to rest."

"Okay, okay," he chuckled. He looked over to find Teddiursa mimicking her stern expression, his little paws crossed at him. Gil poked him in the tummy, immediately breaking his serious facade. "What did you two get up to today?"

Thena picked up Teddiursa and placed him delicately on top of Gil's chest. "You tell him all about it. I'm just going to get another blanket."

Gil watched her go, wanting to open his mouth and ask her to come lie down with him. But he kept quiet, shifting his attention to their little cub as he started going through what had brought them out to the valley in the first place.

Dragonite watched on from the side of the bed, still worriedly keeping an eye on his dear ranger. He looked up with a smile as Thena came back, throwing the largest blanket she had over his back for him, as well as giving him another kiss on the horn.

"Um," Gil spoke up from his spot in the centre of her bed, "he gets one and I don't?"

"What do you think this is?--the pokemon centre?" Thena teased him right back, although she was already on her way to throwing another blanket over him, despite him already being snuggled under her duvet.

Teddiursa wiggled his way out from under the extra blanket. "Ursa!"

"Sorry, buddy, go on," Gil chuckled, still listening to Teddi even though his eyes were on Thena. She drifted away from the bed again and he cleared his throat (loudly).

Thena turned back to him, wondering what he needed. He held out his hand and flexed his fingers at her. "What?"

He repeated the motion behind Teddiursa's back. His eyes held hers as she came back to him until he could hold her hand in his. He even laced their fingers together for good measure.

"What do you need, Gil?" she asked gently, ready to do whatever it took to make him feel better.

He pulled at her hand, Teddiursa chattering on underscoring their silent conversation. She shook her head but he pulled again, "please?"

Thena sighed. How could she say no to him when he was looking at her like that? "Gil."

"I'll sleep much better," he promised her, which they both knew was Tauros-shit.

Thena rolled her eyes at him but let him pull her onto her own bed with him. She settled on top of her covers and duvet, although Gil and Teddiursa both fixed the extra blanket so it was over her as well.

"Teddi?"

"Yes, sweetheart, go on," Thena smiled, even though the cub pokemon was describing the day they had passed together. She would know everything he was about to say, but she wasn't about to interrupt her little sweetie-poffin.

Gil let his head roll to the side so he could look at Thena next to him. Teddiursa was still talking excitedly, but Gil focused on the feeling of rubbing his thumb against the softness of Thena's skin.

Thena kept her eyes on him as he drifted off to sleep in record time. She wasn't entirely sure what had prompted him to ask her to lie down with him, but she obviously wasn't good at saying no to him.

"Ursa?"

"Yes, he's asleep," she whispered to Teddi as she pulled the covers up higher over their ranger. She looked at him, and then at Dragonite, "did either of you mention...?"

Both pokemon shook their heads, though.

Thena had been lying next to Gil up until about 15 minutes before he woke up. She hadn't intended on telling him, though, so she didn't know how he had somehow known to ask her to do it again.

#Thenamesh Pokemon AU #poor Gil #he's really had a rough go of it #but that's what happens when you're a hard workin' ranger #occupational hazard and all that #poor Dragonite feels so bad #he definitely whined and whimpered next to Gil on the bed the whole time #like a big dog #and Thena has to be like sweetie he'll be fine after some rest #and he's like hold me momma #to which she can pet his head and be like #you're not a dratini anymore sweetie you're too big to hold #But Gallade did move her bed for her just so Dragonite could sit there and be a sop #Thena laid down with Gil the whole time #keeping an eye on him #and then when he showed even the slightest sign of waking up #she's like I was never here and you can't prove that I was #Teddiursa - who had been asleep in his own little pokebed at the foot of the main bed - gets picked up #she puts him in her spot and is like don't say a word and leaves the room

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