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ellieswyfe · 9 months

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Hood Connie Tales PT 1

(#hood connie being so sweet to his princesa 😍🫶🏾)

warnings: gun kink??, puerto rican connie, riding, daddy kink, chocking, mention of drugs and guns. (this is so nasty yall) 😂 MDNII!!

mood song (luv this song)

Hood Connie who picks you up at random ass times in the a.m 🤦🏾‍♀️. his light grey 2023 ford mustang BLASTING down your street. whether it be the music or the loud sound of his exhaust, you can always tell when he arrives. (your neighbors have complained multiple times)

Hood Connie who has a nice ass car, all blacked out with dark tinted windows, vegan leather seats, and dark blue leds, paired with red stitching all customized by him. which always smelt like a nice cologne mixed with a low, deep, weed smell. he even got your initials hand sewn into the passenger seat headrest.

Hood Connie who greets his baby with a loong kiss, sucking on your tongue and whining softly when you pull away. “c’mere girl,, wasn’t finished..”he says in a deep husky tone, closing his eyes and drawing you in for another kiss.“babyy stawpp” you giggle pushing at his chest, eventually giving into his kisses.

Hood Connie who when pulling out of your driveway, does that sexy thing where he puts his arms on the back of your seat and leans in his, so he can look in his back window, the hairs on his chin look gruff, like he hasn’t shaved ina while.

Hood Connie who pulls up to the nearest McDonalds (the only thing opened at the time) and orders you whatever you want off the menu. he always makes sure you eat even throughout the day while he’s at work.

Hood Connie who works as a mechanic and sometimes sells with his bro eren in his freetime. he doesn’t do it often but still makes hella money off of it when he does.(which ofc he uses to spoil you...and his car)

Hood Connie who isn’t too far into the drug business but still totes a heavy, black, glock 19 since he still has hella opps. opps who would go out of their way to try and hurt his girl and he wont be having that.

Hood Connie who pulls up to yalls favorite spot. a hidden lake that not too many people know about, which is only really used for fishers and kayakers but still hosts a beautiful view, which is even better a night with the stars twinkling off of the glistening dark water.

Hood Connie who lets you eat in silence before he starts to talk. “so wassup mami? did you need something, you seemed worried when you called…” his voice trailed off, he knew what was wrong he always does. its just that finals week was coming up and you were so stressed with all the studying and pre exams, youve had no time to spend with him. 🥺

Hood Connie who is not the slightest bit surprised when you swing your leg over the middle console and straddle him as if you’ve done it a million times before. wrapping your arms around his waist while leaning into his gun print sitting on his hip, and digging your face into his neck. he smelt good- really good.

Hood Connie who rocks you back n forth feeling up and down your thighs to squeezing your ass. when he hears your meek voice asking him to do the thing.. constance knows exactly what to do.

Hood Connie who reaches for his glock and caresses it on your cheek. when he feels ready he prods the tip on your plump lips until you open up. staring into your low hazy eyes, you begin to suck on the nozzle. sliding the underside of your tongue up and down, admiring the rifts and ridges.

Hood Connie who praises you all the way while you suck on his glock. “there ya go..suck on that shi good princesa.” and “good girl always doing what daddy says.” which makes him get uber hard when he hears you loudly moan for his praise.

Hood Connie who as your salivating on his gun, starts to touch on your pussy. you wore nothing but a hoodie and slides. connie was surprised to feel there was no kind of cloth clothing your core and he could immediately feel your wet sticky pussy, which was yearning for his touch. “please touch me papa..hurts there..” you whine sliding your lips off his glock now.

Hood Connie who lets his princess ride his dick while he holds up his glock to your head, chocking you.

“ooo..o-oh shit baby- so deep.” you sob while he thrusts up once again, continuing his brutal attacks on your pussy.

Hood Connie who might not last with the way your gripping and creaming around him, a white ring forming at his base. “ungh...oh fuck- dios mioss..chupando mi mierda bien..” he damn near screams feeling your cunt cleanch on him- hard this time letting him know your close.

Hood Connie who times his nutt perfectly, to be in sync with yours. he watches as your brows furrow and your mouth opens to form an “o” not even a drop of sound leaving those lips- until he hears a meek “ooo..o- shit daddy..ungh cummingg.” the grip you have on his dick almost making it impossible for him to pullout in time, cumming on your belly.

Hood Connie who carries wipes and aftercare supplies in his car, cleans you up and makes out with you.you continuing to straddle him for about an hour more till you fell asleep.

Hood Connie who stops by the corner store before dropping you off. leaving you sleeping in the car for a quick minute so he can get some of your favorite snacks.

Hood Connie who drops you off and is elated to hear that you passed your exams next evening, all thanks to him 🫶🏾🩷.

#aot fanfiction #aot x black reader #aot x reader #aot smut #aot x you #aot x y/n #connie x reader smut #connie x black reader #connie x black y/n #aot connie #connie springer #connie smut #hood connie #lou writes #connie x you #connie x y/n #puerto rican #puerto rican connie #SoundCloud

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mostlysignssomeportents · 9 months

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No, Uber's (still) not profitable

Going to Defcon this weekend? I'm giving a keynote, "An Audacious Plan to Halt the Internet's Enshittification and Throw it Into Reverse," on Saturday at 12:30pm, followed by a book signing at the No Starch Press booth at 2:30pm!

https://info.defcon.org/event/?id=50826

Bezzle (n): 1. "the magic interval when a confidence trickster knows he has the money he has appropriated but the victim does not yet understand that he has lost it" (JK Gabraith) 2. Uber.

Uber was, is, and always will be a bezzle. There are just intrinsic limitations to the profits available to operating a taxi fleet, even if you can misclassify your employees as contractors and steal their wages, even as you force them to bear the cost of buying and maintaining your taxis.

The magic of early Uber – when taxi rides were incredibly cheap, and there were always cars available, and drivers made generous livings behind the wheel – wasn't magic at all. It was just predatory pricing.

Uber lost $0.41 on every dollar they brought in, lighting $33b of its investors' cash on fire. Most of that money came from the Saudi royals, funneled through Softbank, who brought you such bezzles as WeWork – a boring real-estate company masquerading as a high-growth tech company, just as Uber was a boring taxi company masquerading as a tech company.

Predatory pricing used to be illegal, but Chicago School economists convinced judges to stop enforcing the law on the grounds that predatory pricing was impossible because no rational actor would choose to lose money. They (willfully) ignored the obvious possibility that a VC fund could invest in a money-losing business and use predatory pricing to convince retail investors that a pile of shit of sufficient size must have a pony under it somewhere.

This venture predation let investors – like Prince Bone Saw – cash out to suckers, leaving behind a money-losing business that had to invent ever-sweatier accounting tricks and implausible narratives to keep the suckers on the line while they blew town. A bezzle, in other words:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/19/fake-it-till-you-make-it/#millennial-lifestyle-subsidy

Uber is a true bezzle innovator, coming up with all kinds of fairy tales and sci-fi gimmicks to explain how they would convert their money-loser into a profitable business. They spent $2.5b on self-driving cars, producing a vehicle whose mean distance between fatal crashes was half a mile. Then they paid another company $400 million to take this self-licking ice-cream cone off their hands:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money

Amazingly, self-driving cars were among the more plausible of Uber's plans. They pissed away hundreds of millions on California's Proposition 22 to institutionalize worker misclassification, only to have the rule struck down because they couldn't be bothered to draft it properly. Then they did it again in Massachusetts:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/15/simple-as-abc/#a-big-ask

Remember when Uber was going to plug the holes in its balance sheet with flying cars? Flying cars! Maybe they were just trying to soften us up for their IPO, where they advised investors that the only way they'd ever be profitable is if they could replace every train, bus and tram ride in the world:

https://48hills.org/2019/05/ubers-plans-include-attacking-public-transit/

Honestly, the only way that seems remotely plausible is when it's put next to flying cars for comparison. I guess we can be grateful that they never promised us jetpacks, or, you know, teleportation. Just imagine the market opportunity they could have ascribed to astral projection!

Narrative capitalism has its limits. Once Uber went public, it had to produce financial disclosures that showed the line going up, lest the bezzle come to an end. These balance-sheet tricks were as varied as they were transparent, but the financial press kept falling for them, serving as dutiful stenographers for a string of triumphant press-releases announcing Uber's long-delayed entry into the league of companies that don't lose more money every single day.

One person Uber has never fooled is Hubert Horan, a transportation analyst with decades of experience who's had Uber's number since the very start, and who has done yeoman service puncturing every one of these financial "disclosures," methodically sifting through the pile of shit to prove that there is no pony hiding in it.

In 2021, Horan showed how Uber had burned through nearly all of its cash reserves, signaling an end to its subsidy for drivers and rides, which would also inevitably end the bezzle:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/10/unter/#bezzle-no-more

In mid, 2022, Horan showed how the "profit" Uber trumpeted came from selling off failed companies it had acquired to other dying rideshare companies, which paid in their own grossly inflated stock:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/05/a-lousy-taxi/#a-giant-asterisk

At the end of 2022, Horan showed how Uber invented a made-up, nonstandard metric, called "EBITDA profitability," which allowed them to lose billions and still declare themselves to be profitable, a lie that would have been obvious if they'd reported their earnings using Generally Accepted Accounting Principles (GAAP):

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/11/bezzlers-gonna-bezzle/#gryft

Like clockwork, Uber has just announced – once again – that it is profitable, and once again, the press has credulously repeated the claim. So once again, Horan has published one of his magisterial debunkings on Naked Capitalism:

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2023/08/hubert-horan-can-uber-ever-deliver-part-thirty-three-uber-isnt-really-profitable-yet-but-is-getting-closer-the-antitrust-case-against-uber.html

Uber's $394m gains this quarter come from paper gains to untradable shares in its loss-making rivals – Didi, Grab, Aurora – who swapped stock with Uber in exchange for Uber's own loss-making overseas divisions. Yes, it's that stupid: Uber holds shares in dying companies that no one wants to buy. It declared those shares to have gained value, and on that basis, reported a profit.

Truly, any big number multiplied by an imaginary number can be turned into an even bigger number.

Now, Uber also reported "margin improvements" – that is, it says that it loses less on every journey. But it didn't explain how it made those improvements. But we know how the company did it: they made rides more expensive and cut the pay to their drivers. A 2.9m ride in Manhattan is now $50 – if you get a bargain! The base price is more like $70:

https://www.wired.com/story/uber-ceo-will-always-say-his-company-sucks/

The number of Uber drivers on the road has a direct relationship to the pay Uber offers those drivers. But that pay has been steeply declining, and with it, the availability of Ubers. A couple weeks ago, I found myself at the Burbank train station unable to get an Uber at all, with the app timing out repeatedly and announcing "no drivers available."

Normally, you can get a yellow taxi at the station, but years of Uber's predatory pricing has caused a drawdown of the local taxi-fleet, so there were no taxis available at the cab-rank or by dispatch. It took me an hour to get a cab home. Uber's bezzle destroyed local taxis and local transit – and replaced them with worse taxis that cost more.

Uber won't say why its margins are improving, but it can't be coming from scale. Before the pandemic, Uber had far more rides, and worse margins. Uber has diseconomies of scale: when you lose money on every ride, adding more rides increases your losses, not your profits.

Meanwhile, Lyft – Uber's also-ran competitor – saw its margins worsen over the same period. Lyft has always been worse at lying about it finances than Uber, but it is in essentially the exact same business (right down to the drivers and cars – many drivers have both apps on their phones). So Lyft's financials offer a good peek at Uber's true earnings picture.

Lyft is actually slightly better off than Uber overall. It spent less money on expensive props for its long con – flying cars, robotaxis, scooters, overseas clones – and abandoned them before Uber did. Lyft also fired 24% of its staff at the end of 2022, which should have improved its margins by cutting its costs.

Uber pays its drivers less. Like Lyft, Uber practices algorithmic wage discrimination, Veena Dubal's term describing the illegal practice of offering workers different payouts for the same work. Uber's algorithm seeks out "pickers" who are choosy about which rides they take, and converts them to "ants" (who take every ride offered) by paying them more for the same job, until they drop all their other gigs, whereupon the algorithm cuts their pay back to the rates paid to ants:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

All told, wage theft and wage cuts by Uber transferred $1b/quarter from labor to Uber's shareholders. Historically, Uber linked fares to driver pay – think of surge pricing, where Uber charged riders more for peak times and passed some of that premium onto drivers. But now Uber trumpets a custom pricing algorithm that is the inverse of its driver payment system, calculating riders' willingness to pay and repricing every ride based on how desperate they think you are.

This pricing is a per se antitrust violation of Section 2 of the Sherman Act, America's original antitrust law. That's important because Sherman 2 is one of the few antitrust laws that we never stopped enforcing, unlike the laws banning predator pricing:

https://ilr.law.uiowa.edu/sites/ilr.law.uiowa.edu/files/2023-02/Woodcock.pdf

Uber claims an 11% margin improvement. 6-7% of that comes from algorithmic price discrimination and service cutbacks, letting it take 29% of every dollar the driver earns (up from 22%). Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi himself says that this is as high as the take can get – over 30%, and drivers will delete the app.

Uber's food delivery service – a baling wire-and-spit Frankenstein's monster of several food apps it bought and glued together – is a loser even by the standards of the sector, which is unprofitable as a whole and experiencing an unbroken slide of declining demand.

Put it all together and you get a picture of the kind of taxi company Uber really is: one that charges more than traditional cabs, pays drivers less, and has fewer cars on the road at times of peak demand, especially in the neighborhoods that traditional taxis had always underserved. In other words, Uber has broken every one of its promises.

We replaced the "evil taxi cartel" with an "evil taxi monopolist." And it's still losing money.

Even if Lyft goes under – as seems inevitable – Uber can't attain real profitability by scooping up its passengers and drivers. When you're losing money on every ride, you just can't make it up in volume.

Image: JERRYE AND ROY KLOTZ MD (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:LA_BREA_TAR_PITS,_LOS_ANGELES.jpg

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

I’m kickstarting the audiobook for “The Internet Con: How To Seize the Means of Computation,” a Big Tech disassembly manual to disenshittify the web and bring back the old, good internet. It’s a DRM-free book, which means Audible won’t carry it, so this crowdfunder is essential. Back now to get the audio, Verso hardcover and ebook:

http://seizethemeansofcomputation.org

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/09/accounting-gimmicks/#unter

Image: JERRYE AND ROY KLOTZ MD (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:LA_BREA_TAR_PITS,_LOS_ANGELES.jpg

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

#pluralistic #bezzles #hubert horan #uber #rideshare #accounting tricks #financial engineering #late-stage capitalism #narrative capitalism #lyft #transit #uber eats #venture predation #algorithmic wage discrimination

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joelalorian · 2 months

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Fall Into Me - Chapter Two: It All Turned Around

dbf!Joel x f!reader

Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.

Story is inspired by the song Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk. Chapter titles will be lyrics from the song.

Word Count: 2.6k

Series Warnings: Mature to start, but will ultimately be Explicit, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. There will be angst, drama, fluff, humor, romance, smut... basically, the works. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname from her dad, which is explained in this chapter.

Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics

Thank you for reading this little tale! I did not expect all the love the first chapter received - my heart is fit to burst!

Chapter One | Main Masterlist

Chapter Two: It All Turned Around

You walked the few blocks over to Joel’s house on Monday morning, ready to start your new gig as Sarah’s… babysitter wasn’t the right word. Nanny? Au pair? Nah, that didn’t work either. Whatever, the wording did not matter. You were helping Joel out by taking care of his daughter when he couldn’t, that’s what mattered. Jeez, you thought as you walked along the sleepy neighborhood sidewalk, you were one step away from talking to herself aloud like a mad woman.

When you finally reached Joel’s house, already damp with sweat from the lingering heat, climbing the porch steps to the front door with your eyes glued to Joel’s truck, you realized the flaw in this arrangement.

You didn’t have a car.

How the hell were you supposed to take the kid to and from school without a car?

How did you not realize this sooner?

Knuckles rapping on the door, your teeth worried your plump bottom lip as you considered your options. Admit to the gorgeous single father relying on you to help with his precious daughter that you were a complete flake. Sneakily order an Uber with the hope that Sarah will keep her mouth shut about it. Or just buy a car off one of those online dealers and hope it gets delivered in time.

Those options weren’t great, but what the hell else did you have to work with?

The door finally opened to reveal a frazzled Joel, tee shirt inside out and dark curls mussed. A giggle bubbled out before you could stop it.

“Mornin’ darlin’,” Joel greeted, his lips tilting upwards at the sight of you while his free hand attempted to tame his wild curls. “Come on in. We’re runnin’ a little behind schedule this morning.”

“Good morning, Joel.” Your eyes drank him in. Even in his disheveled state he was gorgeous. If anything, the harried morning look made him even more endearing.

He stepped aside to let you in, glancing to the driveway then the curb. “Where’s your car? Did you walk here?” he questioned, confused.

And just like that, the pleasant feeling of seeing him again washed away in embarrassment. You almost forgot about the car situation again. “Yeah, ‘bout that. I don’t actually have a car.” You could practically see the wheels turning behind his dark chocolate eyes as he stared at you.

Finally, Joel’s head bobbed in a nod as he led you into the kitchen. “Okay, we can make it work. Tommy is on his way over and I’ll just hitch a ride to work with him. You can use my truck for running Sarah around.”

“You sure?” you questioned doubtfully. “I’m sorry, it didn’t occur to me that I don’t have wheels until I was standing on your porch.”

Waving off your apologetic concern, Joel called for Sarah to come down for breakfast. Turning back to you, he smiled, the scruff of his beard barely concealing a delightful little dimple. “Don’t worry about it. Just use my truck when you’re on duty until we figure something else out. It’s not like I need it when I’m stuck on a job site all day.”

“Well, thanks for being understanding, and so kind,” you replied, feeling a little overwhelmed by how wonderful Joel was being.

Sarah appeared at your side as Joel dug in his pocket for his keys, throwing her arms around your waist. “You’re here!”

“I am!” You hugged the little girl to your side with a laugh, surprised to see Joel’s warm gaze on you when you looked up. There was something in his expression that you couldn’t decipher.

“Here are my keys – this one is for the truck, obviously, and this one is for the front door. Don’t mind the other ones,” he said after clearing his throat, a slight flush spreading across his cheeks. “I’ll get a spare house key made this week so you can come and go as you please. You have my cell number, so call me if you run into any problems with the truck or anything else.”

Once Sarah was seated at the table with a bowl of cereal, Joel filled you in on a few other details pertaining to Sarah’s weekday routine and where anything you might need was located in the house.

“Drop off at 8:30, pick up at 3, homework before play, and don’t let her snack too much before dinner,” you summarized his instructions. “I got it. I can make dinner, too, if you’d like.”

Dark eyes flashed with a hint of something indecipherable again as Joel smiled. “You don’t have to do that unless I’m gonna be real late. I’ll call or text to let you know when I expect to get home each day.”

“Sounds good.” Your finger traced random patterns on the countertop as you watched the Millers go about their morning routine and you wondered if you should say something about his tee shirt. You didn’t want to embarrass the guy, but it would be rude not to let him know, right? What was the protocol here? If it was you, you’d want to know before leaving the house, right?

Before you could decide what to do, Tommy came bursting through the front door, boisterous voice calling out for his brother. “Come on, man. We gotta get rollin’!”

Joel rolled his eyes to you as Tommy came to a halt in the kitchen, the younger brother’s smile widening when his eyes raked over you. “Well, hello again, gorgeous.”

“Hey Tommy,” you greeted in return, glancing between the two brothers. Where Joel was broad and brooding, Tommy was lithe and energetic, and flirty to a fault. Both were handsome, but Tommy had ‘player’ written all over him. He was the exact type of guy that you avoided getting entangled with – the overconfident, love ‘em and leave ‘em type.

Growing tired of his brother gawking at you, Joel grumbled. “Alright, stop flirting, Tommy. It’s time to go.” Dropping his empty coffee cup in the sink, he turned back to you. “Call me if you need anything, darlin’.”

You nodded with a smile, watching the brothers kiss Sarah goodbye.

“Your shirt’s on inside out, asshole,” Tommy blurted out suddenly causing Joel’s cheeks to pinken. “God dammit,” he muttered, tugging the shirt over his head to set it right.

Unable to tear your gaze away from the glimpse of broad chest and slightly soft tummy, you jolted when something bumped your shoulder. Snapping your head to the side, you frowned at Tommy’s beaming grin. “Ah, I see how it is,” he said cryptically, the grin never leaving his lips.

“What?” you asked, baffled, mind still flooded with the image of a briefly shirtless Joel. The brothers were gone before you could shake your head clear.

Joel’s truck was ornery, you learned quickly. Stomp too hard on the gas pedal and it stalled. Don’t step hard enough on the pedal and it made funny noises while going nowhere fast. Brake too hard and it squealed. Don’t brake hard enough and, well, then you’d crash, obviously. It was a damn Goldilocks truck, but you adapted quickly, making sure you could get Sarah to and from school safely.

God, could you imagine if your first call ever to Joel was to tell him you crashed his truck and put his daughter in danger – or worse yet, she got hurt? That would be beyond awful!

By the afternoon, you and the truck had come to a grudging agreement. You would treat it nicely and it would do what you wanted it to. That was another sign you were losing your mind, right? Coming to agreements with inanimate objects? It was getting sad. You needed a life, some human socialization, for fucks sake.

“Hey nugget!” you called to Sarah, spotting her bouncing down the steps of the front entrance to the K-8 school. It was the very one you applied to earlier in the day, hoping to take over for a science teacher retiring at the end of the year.

“Hey! That’s what my dad calls me!” the little girl declared as she came to a halt in front of you.

“I know! It’s such a cool nickname, much better than the one my dad gave me,” you laughed and opened the passenger door, watching her scramble into the seat like a pro. Satisfied with the security of Sarah’s seatbelt, you jogged around to the driver’s side and hopped up into the truck.

“What’s your nickname?” Sarah asked as you started the truck with an encouraging pat on the dash.

“Spud,” you groaned, voice barely louder than the rumble of the truck’s engine.

Sarah’s brow furrowed and her cute little nose scrunched up. “Spud? Why does your dad call you that?”

“Ugh, the way he tells it, I was a really chunky baby. ‘Round like a potato’ he said. He didn’t like the thought of calling me ‘potato’ so, the nickname spud was born. I’ve hated it every day, but my dad loves it, so I tolerate it for his sake.”

Sarah listened to your explanation with rapt attention. “Yeah, I can see why you like mine better. I’ll make sure to never call you spud. Maybe we can come up with something better?”

“Thanks, kid! I’d like that.”

The rest of the ride back to Joel’s house was quiet as you focused on driving and Sarah bobbed her head to some tune she hummed. Once you pulled to a careful stop in the driveway, the little girl turned into a chatterbox, recounting every moment of her day as you led the way inside and prepared a small snack.

“Fourth grade is quite the adventure, I see,” you said when she finally stopped to nibble at an apple slice. “I don’t remember it being quite that much fun.”

There wasn’t any homework to assist with, but Sarah insisted on showing you all the A grades she got on her work from last week. She preened under your undivided attention, and you encouraged her to keep working hard.

The two of you were in the midst of playing some Lego video game when your phone buzzed with a text from Joel letting you know he was on his way home. The job site wasn’t far, and he walked through the door before 5 pm to find you and Sarah giggling as you bashed away at things in the video game. You were both laying on the floor, knees bent, and heads perched on throw pillows from the couch as you stared up at the TV. Neither of you even noticed him come in and he smiled at the precious moments he had to take in how genuinely happy Sarah was in your company.

Sarah caught sight of him first, pausing the game and rushing over to hug him. He eyed you as he hugged his daughter, his exhausted gaze silently thanking you for taking care of his entire world.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” he asked, kicking off his boots before stepping farther into the house. “I was gonna order pizza.”

Tempted to say yes just to spend more time with him, you declined knowing they had limited father-daughter time. “Thank you, though. I should get back to my house to finish the paperwork for transferring my teaching certification. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Joel escorted you to the door, watching as you descended the porch steps and strolled down the sidewalk until you were out of sight.

The next few weeks followed the same pattern with you staying late a few nights a week or covering a Saturday when Joel was stuck on a job site. You started making dinner most evenings. Whether he made it home early or late, he always seemed exhausted, and you wanted to ease his burden as much as possible. You might have also wondered how many home-cooked meals the pair actually ate when Joel was left in charge of dinner.

You bought a car off another one of your dad’s buddies – a no nonsense sedan just to get you around town with Sarah safely. Some days, while Sarah was at school, you would even do Joel’s food shopping, knowing that he liked to shop at the bulk stores to save money.

Soon, you found yourself staying longer after Joel got home, eager to spend time with him and watch him be a dad. He was such a good one, much like your own, always giving Sarah his full attention and speaking to her with respect and making sure she felt heard. It left you in awe of the man he was and your burgeoning crush quickly, and quite by accident, developed into an affectionate longing for something you couldn’t have.

“How’s it going with Spud?” your dad asked, taking a swig from the bottle of beer in his hand. Seated at a table on the Miller’s back patio with Joel and Tommy, the men enjoyed a few after-work beers as you and Sarah sat together in the grass nearby.

“Why do you call her that, JB? I always wondered.” Joel questioned in return, curiosity finally getting to him.

You dad laughed, the memories of you as a baby always brought a smile to his face. “She was the chunkiest little potato as a baby, all round with the cutest chipmunk cheeks. The nickname spud just popped into my head and stuck from day one.”

Joel’s chestnut eyes flicked over to watch you during your dad’s explanation, a bubble of guilty warmth building in his gut. He found you immediately attractive when you first met, but now, nearly a month into getting to know and spend time with you, a strong affectionate attraction began to develop. It was wholly against his will, too. You were JB’s daughter – his best friend aside from his brother – and therefore off limits.

Surely him lusting after you broke some guy code, right?

Maybe he just needed to get laid. That would set him straight.

As if reading his mind, JB changed the subject. “Now that you have some help with Sarah, maybe it’s time to get back into the dating world. You need the love of a good woman, son.”

“Yeah, how long’s it been since you had a girlfriend, brother?” Tommy chimed in with a smirk. “A decade?”

The younger brother merely chuckled in response to Joel’s scowl. “I’ve dated, just none of them were good enough to bring home,” he replied, a rough edge to his deep voice. “Sarah’s always come first.”

“As she should.” JB nodded. “I know it ain’t easy being a single dad, but you have to make some room and time for yourself otherwise you’ll go crazy.”

Your dad went on to share some of his experiences with dating as a single dad and how you practically begged him to find a girlfriend when you were a teenager, just so he’d give you some space. After a short while, JB and the Miller men were laughing so hard their eyes were watering. At one point, Joel caught you watching them with a tender smile on your lips and his heart skipped a beat.

“Okay, I guess it’s time to put myself out there,” Joel admitted, forcing his gaze away from you.

“Yeah? I know someone who’d love to go on a date with you!” Tommy declared excitedly, turning to JB. “You know Annica over at the lumber yard? She’s been gagging over this one for ages. I’ll text her to set something up for Saturday night.”

“Sounds like it’s settled then. You’re going on a date, son!”

Joel’s brow furrowed, glancing between your dad and Tommy wondering if he just made a huge mistake.

tbc

Taglist: @mellymbee @untamedheart81 @anoverwhelmingdin @runningmom94 @leilanixx @pedropascalfan221 @lovelyjess69 @sarahhxx03 @sofiparallel

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel x female reader #the last of us #tlou #dbf!joel #Fall Into Me #pedro pascal #eventual smut #eventual romance

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micheleksdare · 12 days

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Conversations From the Road – A ‘Slacker’ Job on the Road

Recently I read this article on Bustle about ‘fake email jobs’, jobs that are primarily remote, consist of a lot of email, maybe some Teams meeting or Zoom calls, but no overtime, no insane levels of stress, and they pay pretty well. Sounds like a great gig if you can get it, right? Well, some people in this dumb-ass world don’t have a very high opinion of these types of jobs (hence the term…

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#AbortionRights #IStandWithUkraine #Slacker #SlackerJob #Twitter #Blog #Breaking Radio Silence #Conversations from the Road #Uber Tales #Writing

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jaegeraether · 2 months

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Sunsets and footballers (Part 66)

Alexia Putellas x Character (24)

Masterlist (other parts here)

Join our WOSO Discord chat! Link in bio :)

((**2.5k**))

Alexia POV

Alexia had gone to bed horny. Frustrated. Needy and wanting her. After watching the game with Lucy, she’d been at her house for an hour or so to socialise and pick up Chiquito. She’d been mid-way through a conversation, knowing it was about time to book an Uber when Ridley had texted her, offering to take her instead. At first she’d wondered how she knew where she was, and then she realised that she must have been talking to Blau. She didn’t mind that. It took away the effort on her part.

She’d entered Lucy and Blau’s place with that natural confidence, striding her way through the room full of attractive footballers. Her eyes had found Alexia first with a little smirk. And then Chiquito who padded over for a hello. She clapped hands with Lucy and as she ducked down to see if Blau was okay, Alexia felt a pang of jealousy at just how much attention she’d drawn.

She shouldn't have been surprised. Ridley commanded attention without lifting a finger, and until that point, Alexia hadn’t been the jealous type of person. But now… now she had to take a deep breath to settle that feeling in her stomach. She hated it, and loved it at the same time. She distracted herself by picking up Chiquito and saying her goodbyes.

The drive had been slow and silent, almost. Alexia was sitting in the passenger seat with Chiquito on her lap, just staring at her. Ridley somehow looked even more attractive in the dark, the street lights lighting up her face every time they passed under one. She held a neutral expression, a tell-tale sign of a Ridley in full control of herself, and she always gave off that dark aura. But it wasn’t bad. Fuck, it wasn’t bad. It made Alexia feel more safe than she ever had. Like she had a demon on her side. One that was soft for her.

She’d broken the silence to ask about her day at work, and Ridley responded politely, asking Alexia about the match and her catch up with the girls. Alexia wondered if she’d felt jealous herself, walking into a room of women, a lot who had flirted with the Spaniard who’d pretended not to notice, hiding behind a ‘language barrier’, though if Ridley had been, she hid it exceptionally well. The closest she ever got to showing anything was as her hand had touched Alexia’s back as she guided them to the door, her bag slung over her shoulders as Alexia had Chiquito in her arms. It had felt so domestic of them and she couldn’t ignore the happy feeling she wasn’t used to inside of her.

And so she responded, told Ridley about the game and her time with the girls. She didn’t ask any specific questions, and about no one in particular, though she did listen actively to each and every word Alexia said. It was nice to feel heard, and even better that it was in Spanish. She could never tolerate English for too long.

When they’d gotten back to the penthouse, Ridley had asked if she wanted dinner, but she’d already eaten at Lucy and Blau’s. Instead, they’d settled for another defence lesson. Ridley was the main draw to do the sessions, of course, but Alexia had also genuinely loved them. She felt herself becoming more stable on her feet which was one thing she felt she’d always needed to be better at. But it wasn’t only that. She felt more confident in herself, learnt how to approach unwanted situations and felt her body building and stretching muscles she didn’t know she had.

“Good… but don’t be scared to hurt me. Plant your feet. Again.”

God she sounded so good when she was authoritative.

Ridley swung at her at a decent pace, Alexia blocking each swing and ducked, planting her feet and throwing herself forward, her shoulder slamming into her chest, shoving her off balance. Ridley stumbled backwards with a wide grin and excited eyes.

“Good, Lex. Very good. You’re getting quicker.”

Alexia stood tall, proud of herself and Ridley’s eyes darkened.

“Again.”

Oh no. She knew that look. Ridley swung again, still just a practicing pace, and Alexia blocked the first, and the second, though before she had a chance to duck down, Ridley’s torso hit hers and then she was in the air, flying and spinning before her back hit the mat with a sharp, forced exhale. It didn’t hurt, but it had caught her off guard completely.

She stared up at the ceiling, her head trying to comprehend where she was and how she got there, when Ridley’s face blocked out the ceiling as it drifted over her. She was gorgeous. Her dark brunette hair tucked underneath the headband she wore when they trained or worked out, making her look more feminine and better exposing that sharp, sharp jaw. She could see her eyes better that way too and right now they look slightly concerned.

“You’re okay. You’re just a little dazed, Lex.”

She knew she was, but still it was nice to hear the reassurance. Ridley held herself above her easily with one arm, her free cast hand moving the stray strand of Alexia’s dyed blonde hair from her face, her eyes following her own fingertips gliding across her skin lightly as it often did. Those little stolen moments that she needed to survive without having her.

“Fuck me.”

Ridley’s eyes snapped to Alexia’s. Something had come over her; had snapped in her. Whatever sense of control she’d been grasping onto all these months. She should have felt ashamed, but she wasn’t, and Ridley’s eyes didn’t shame her either. They were blown, those gold flecks hardening.

It wasn’t exactly fair of her to do, given the position they were both in physically, and emotionally over the past few days.

Ridley’s lips were parted slightly, and although she didn’t say anything, Alexia could see the thoughts running through her eyes. They both knew it wasn’t a spontaneous, off the cuff thing to say. They both wanted it. The sexual tension had been palpable whenever they were together.

Her breathing hitched, wondering which was she was leaning. Her eyes moved to her lips as they pressed together, her jaw flexing.

“Fuck me, Ridley.”

Ridley’s eyes closed; a frown line appeared between her eyebrows. She was weakening. Alexia both hated and loved to see it. She loved seeing how weak she made her, and she hated seeing her fight herself. Her logic needed to win out, because she was too strong otherwise. She needed to know that it was for the best.

“Are we just going to keep doing this the rest of our lives? Because that’s how long I intend to stay your friend…” Alexia’s way of letting her know she wasn’t going anywhere. Ridley’s jaw relaxed. She was listening. “Because you know I want you… and I know you want me. Why else would I be here, in your apartment, with Chiquito, with anything and everything I could ever want or need?”

Alexia let that run through her mind for a bit, and then readjusted herself under her, and widened her legs. It was such an unusual thing, because she wasn’t used to being the one considered more submissive. But god, did she want her.

“So fuck me, Lee. Let’s get this out of our system. I’m not going anywhere but we need to sort this out before we start to affect our lives by needing to be around each other. Needing each other. Fuck me…. Please.” She said the last part softly, almost like a beg. And at that, Ridley’s eyes opened, and they were… tired. Tired of fighting.

She readjusted, instead leaning on her cast hand and just as Alexia went to argue, Ridley’s thumb found her lips. She traced them like she’d been wanting to do it for the longest time, taking her time and memorising them. They parted under her thumb and Ridley’s eyes darkened with lust as Alexia’s tongue came out almost shyly to touch the pad of it. Ridley’s jaw twitched as she tore her attention away from that, her hand gliding down, pausing with her fingers touching either side of her neck, as if remembering the night she’d choked her. It was a moment of rage, though Alexia had never been so turned on, just as she was now. She could feel her nipples hardening, and saw Ridley’s eyes flick to them as they pressed through her shirt.

Enough was enough. Alexia was utterly desperate for her now. She wriggled her shorts down and when Ridley saw what she was doing, she let out a small groan, but she froze also. That internal fight was evident from the tension in her body, and in particular, her shoulders as she hung there. Alexia took hold of her hand and dragged it down to where she needed her.

She didn’t place her hand on her, just close enough to feel how warm she was. Ridley needed to do the rest. She let out another sound that was a mix of a groan and a whimper. It made Alexia’s heart flutter knowing just how much she wanted her and so as Ridley’s hand lingered between her thighs, just centimetres away from where she needed her, she grasped the back of her hair, her fingers weaving through her soft, dark strands, and pulled her head down to her. Alexia’s mouth met Ridley’s ear.

“I’m right here. I’ll always be right here… I just really need you, Lee.” She kissed her cheek, her lips landing on her skin for the very first time. So soft. “Please,” she whispered and felt Ridley shudder.

She knew how badly Ridley wanted her. She felt a little coercive, but Ridley was strong and made her own choices. She knew she’d never do something she herself didn’t want to do. All she needed was that piece of logic Alexia had offered her.

They’d need to fuck to ease some tension on their friendship.

At Alexia’s final word, Ridley pulled her head away. Alexia was nervous at first until she saw that look in her eyes. Ridley’s hand moved up to feel through the wetness that had gathered since she’d first messaged her that night. Alexia gasped as she felt through her. It was happening. Oh fuck.

Ridley’s eyes remained locked on hers, as if looking for any hesitation, but she found none because there was none. Alexia was sure her face showed her desperation. Her fingers found her clit but didn’t stimulate it, just roamed around it like she knew exactly where it was, tilting her head as she watched Alexia begin to squirm, her cheeks reddening. Her fingers grazed over it only once, Alexia trying to hold in a whimper as her breathing hitched. Her fingers moved down through that slickness of hers so wet, it’d been evident on her underwear, though Ridley hadn’t seemed phased. Her experienced and reliable fingers stroked around where Alexia needed her most. Just long enough for Alexia to sacrifice her pride in a whimper.

“P… please, Lee.”

She couldn't even look at her when she said it. It was still so unusual for her to be on the receiving end. But at that point, she was so wound up she was almost in tears. Just before they appeared, she met Ridley’s eyes again that were looking as if waiting for her to do so.

And then Ridley pushed two fingers into her and stopped, pressing against that perfect spot on her inner wall. The Spaniard’s eyes rolled back, and she moaned at the feel. God, she needed this. She felt her body clench tightly around her. Her hips tried to move, to ride them, but Ridley had her pinned in place with her hips.

“Is this what you want, la Reina? Mindless sex?”

Alexia didn’t respond because she didn’t know what she wanted. She just knew she wanted her.

She pulled her fingers our devastatingly slowly, the pads of her fingers gliding along her wall with a noticeable pressure.

She pulled her hand up, looking at the glistening wetness of Alexia on her fingers. She took one finger and sucked it clean, Alexia feeling a noticeable shiver running through her as she tasted her excitement.

“Mmn. You taste very, very good though.”

Alexia was watching her, bewildered with dilated pupils. She offered her other finger to Alexia. “Would you like a taste?”

Alexia accepted her finger in her mouth, keeping that eye contact as she sucked it clean. She could see Ridley teetering on the edge, her eyes hooded as she watched from above her. Alexia made sure to run that sensitive pad of her finger over her tongue on the way out.

“You’re being naughty.”

“I want you.”

“I can’t give you what you want, Alexia. I can give you sex, sure, but I can’t be with you. I can’t break your heart like that. Not you.”

Alexia was so horny, she could barely function.

“That’s my decision to make.” She said as she manoeuvred herself under her, Ridley not fighting. Alexia wrapped her legs around her waist and pulled her down to her. The feel of her body against hers was better than anything she could have ever imagined. She threaded her fingers into her hair again and pulled her head down, her mouth finding her neck and sucking. God, how she’d dreamt of doing this so many times.

Ridley let her tease her neck for a while, accepting her wandering mouth with increasingly frustrated breaths. God, the resilience of her. Alexia was a puddle just under her gaze, let alone if Ridley had been at her neck.

“Lex…” she groaned. “This is getting dangerous now.”

Alexia shivered at the nickname she’d dragged out of her.

“Let it…” she whispered against her throat, her hands moving up the back of her shirt and over those muscles, those scars.

“It will just be sex. No kissing on the lips. Nothing more.”

Alexia hesitated at that. No kissing? “Worried you won’t perform?”

“Worried I’ll lose you…” Oh Ridley. Alexia stopped and pulled back to look at her. Her face betrayed just how bad she was struggling to restrain herself. “I don’t want to lose you, Alexia. I don’t want to lose… this. Us.” She bowed her head, her hair tickling Alexia’s cheek. “I can give you my body, but please don’t mistake it for my heart. You want more than I can give. That is all I can give.”

Alexia paused. Hesitated. Her opinion was different. She could see the vulnerability in Ridley’s eyes. She knew in her bones that it wouldn’t just be her body, it would be her heart as well. She was just trying to protect herself, and Alexia from pain. She truly believed that, enough to risk her heart to her.

“I’ll take whatever you can give me… and you won’t lose me. Ever. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

Alexia nodded. Ridley began trembling above her as she let herself lose that battle of desires.

To be continued...

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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 3 months

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justjust hear me out. hear me out okay. surprising jack at the freaky tales premiere, or showing up at the hotel the cast were staying in. reader and jack hadn't seen each other for almost a month just a SUPER fluffy reunion. and maybe even pedro making fun of them a lil

It's a little short, I have to get the hang of writing for jack 😮‍💨BUT I hope you like it:)

Reunited - Jack Champion x Fem!Reader

Summary: You surprise your boyfriend at his movie's afterparty.

Y/N: I have a few Jack requests, which I WILL get to, but I'd like to keep my Tumblr as Scream-related as possible, so I'll sprinkle them in every now and then:)

Jack had been gone for a month promoting Freaky Tales. It’s the longest you’d gone without seeing each other, and it wasn’t easy. You tried to make plans to fly out to see him, but your school schedule was just too crazy. You had to settle for the late-night phone calls, but you didn’t care, as long as you got to talk to him.

When you found out at the last minute that your exam date had been moved, you wanted to call Jack and make plans to come see him. It would only be a couple days, but you wanted to spend that time with him. After thinking about it, you decided to surprise him instead.

You reached out to his manager and started to set up the plans. He sent you the itinerary for the day of the premiere, and after checking flights, you realized that you’d never make it in time for the movie, but you could surprise him at the after party.

Once you landed in LA, you quickly ran to the airport bathroom to change from comfy clothes to a dress and fix your makeup. Fortunately, your hair held up during the flight, so that was one less thing to worry about.

You felt like your body was tingling as you made your way to your Uber, knowing that you were in the same city as him giving you butterflies. You checked your phone to see a text from Jack, saying that he’d already walked the red carpet and that the movie was about to start, and how much he loved you. You smiled at the text as the driver was making small talk.

You also had a text from his manager, telling you to go in through the side door of the venue down the street from the theater once you arrived. Some of the press had moved to the venue for post-movie interviews, and you knew he was going to get held up in that.

A little over an hour later, your phone started to ring in your purse. You pulled it out to see Jack’s goofy picture on the screen.

“Hey, babe. How was it?” you asked, the excitement in your voice making him smile.

“It was amazing. I’m heading to the afterparty now, but I just wanted to tell you that I love you,” he said, as Pedro was in the background roasting him for the sappiness.

“Hey, I haven’t seen her in so long,” you heard Jack say to him, but you started giggling when Pedro responded to him with kissing noises.

“This guy’s giving me shit. I’ll call you later tonight, okay baby?” he said, laughing as he spoke.

“Okay, be safe,” you said, as it took everything in you to not tell him you were there.

You started to look around the reception area and saw the place card on the table with Jack’s name on it, and noticed your name was on the seat beside his. You smiled when you saw it, so thankful that his manager was able to pull this off in such short notice. You soon saw someone from his team walk in, she was smiling as she made her way towards you.

“Hey! He’s outside, but he’ll be in soon!” she said, looking you over. “You look great!”

“Thank you,” you said, looking towards the front entrance. You were starting to get nervous, and she picked up on it.

“I’m going to take you over to this private room, and I’ll bring him to you after he’s done with his interview,” she said, smiling as she led you there. “I think it’s sweet that you came here for him. He’s really been missing you.”

“I’ve been missing him, too,” you said, “I don’t want him to rush, but he needs to hurry up.”

She laughed at your joke before walking out of the room, leaving you on the sofa as you waited. You kept checking your phone, and after fifteen minutes, Pedro walked into the room. He put his finger up to his mouth, signaling for you to be quiet.

“Hey, Jack!” he yelled; you heard your boyfriend’s footsteps as he got closer to the room.

“What’s up-“ Jack said, before noticing you sitting there. “Babe! I’m so happy to see you!”

You stood up as he walked over to you, your arms instinctively going around his neck as his lips connected with yours. His hands went around your waist as he lifted you off the floor.

“I thought you had your exam today?” he asked as he held you.

“It’s on Monday, so you get me for two whole days.”

He kissed you again before gently placing you back on your feet.

“You look so beautiful,” he said, taking in the appearance that you pulled together in the airport bathroom. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“I thought the surprise would be more fun,” you laughed a little, as his eyes looked into yours.

“It’s the best surprise ever,” he said, grabbing your hand in his.

“If you guys want to make out, get it out of your system before we’re sitting at the dinner table,” Pedro said, making you blush as Jack rolled his eyes.

He placed a few more pecks to your lips, before he led you out to join the rest of the party.

#jack champion x reader #jack champion #fluff

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hamsterclaw · 7 months

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Fic Library: Jimin

Lost and Found by @kimvtae. An idolverse AU featuring Jimin as a problematic idol who gets sent for rehab in America, where he meets reader. Beautiful writing and reformed bad boy Jimin is characterised so well here.

Adonis by @xjoonchildx. Jimin's a hot paramedic who you meet with a little help from the little old lady next door. Funny, cute and written in Ana's incomparable style.

Put it on me by @jimilter features models Jimin and reader on a shoot and it's laugh out loud funny, snappy and smutty. So so good.

La Grande Maison by @softyoongiionly features Jimin x reader and is a mystery/thriller with great scene-setting and beautifully realised friendships.

I know a place by @augustbutwinter has Jimin and a gender-neutral reader in a sweet pining story about unrequited love.

Fall like moondrops by @madbutgloriouspond is a beautiful story set in a just-post-college AU featuring a dancer Jimin who's determined, sweet, and an all-round decent guy. It captures the end-of-summer vibe and apprehension about upcoming change perfectly.

Devil's in the backseat by @ugh-yoongi is a sexy, smutty tale with banter that's sparky and so so funny, featuring Jimin x f! reader in an established relationship.

Headrush (It's too sweet) by the uber-talented @minisugakoobies is a spiky, sexy, fun, headrush featuring stylist reader and idol Jimin.

Neon Seoul by @readyplayerhobi has a noir murder mystery set in a cyberpunk dystopia and features detectives Jimin x reader. The worldbuilding is stellar.

Make an offer by @bangtanintotheroom features an irresistibly sexy Jimin in a sugar daddy/sugar baby AU.

Of stars erased by @fantasybangtan. I'm a sucker for dystopian future AUs, and this is a story that makes me reflect on how lucky I am to be able to read stories like this, for free. Incredible storytelling by a fantastic writer.

An Ghealach by @theharrowing is sexy horror at it's best. A haunting, ambiguous, unreliable-narrator tale featuring linguist Jimin and a mysterious OC.

Like Crazy by @thatlongspringnight is a beautifully realised story about loneliness and seeking solace in transience that features Jimin x f! reader.

Blunt Rotation by @gimmethatagustd is a law school AU featuring pretty boy Jimin and weed girl reader. Funny, chaotic and razor sharp.

Weight by @augustbutwinter features Jimin x f! reader and is set in a semi-historical, royal AU, where nothing is quite as it seems.

Menace by @eoieopda features Jimin x Kim! reader in an irresistible relationship dynamic characterised by brattiness and hate sex and a Jimin who lives up to the title of the story. So so good.

The airport couple: P(ass)enger from hell by @dovechim features frequent traveller Jimin and TSA agent reader and is so good I've reread it time and again. Cracky, hilarious and Jimin is perfectly written as an outrageous little shit.

On the borderline by @jimilter is a friends to lovers AU in progress that's a super fun read - deliciously smutty, angsty and infused with Ash's signature brand of humour.

Red flag by @xjoonchildx has rich boy Jimin x reader in a witty, sparkling smutty caper that's a romp of a read.

Shadows in the graveyard by @minisugakoobies is sexy, kitschy, schlocky horror at it's best featuring reader x Jimin stranded in the woods.

#fic rec: jimin #these authors are amazing

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sehtoast · 29 days

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Hii! Id like a request!

Could you perhaps do a scenario where the reader gets stranded at an airport (Perhaps with panic attack)?

I'm experiencing this currently and thinking about Homelander is helping, Somehow

i'm so sorry you had to go through that anon ❤️ homie has an odd way of making life's woes suck a little less. apologies that this took as long as it did (and also i've never been in an airport before so idk if this is even the right vibe adfkljdfk), but i hope it's still enjoyable and i hope your airport adventure ended happily.

Oh, if you thought it couldn’t get worse, you were so wrong.

Cancellations across the board, a raging snow storm outside, disgruntled people everywhere, and far too much noise for your overloaded senses. This is what you get for flying out to go see a friend in the dead of winter.

It wasn’t like you could call an uber to the nearest hotel, either. Pretty much nobody was going anywhere in this storm, and you’ve been here for hours now. God, you should’ve picked a morning flight, but you just haaaad to sleep in.

Eventually it started getting to you.

You’re alone, surrounded by angry people, in the middle of fuck knows where, with no guarantee of getting home or if your ticket is still going to be honored and–

You don’t even notice your breathing growing frantic until it’s overpowering and all you can do is hug your knees and try to stay calm–

You reach for your phone and send off a text to the one person who would maybe be awake at this hour.

God I’m fucking stuck here and I miss you and I don’t know what to do.

Your chest feels tight and your mouth is dry. You hold your phone tight, cringing at the battery level.

7%.

You’d love to charge it, but the iPad parents are currently occupying every outlet in the area and if you hear one more child scream because they couldn’t watch their damn skibidi toilet videos–

It buzzes and you unlock it like a madman.

Told ya you should’ve flown air-Homelander.

You smile, warmth trickling in to fill your otherwise endless pit of anxiety.

It would’ve been too cold on my face :( and you’d be carrying all my luggage. Besides, I couldn't ask you to fly all this way.

The next response comes almost instantly. Well, as instantly as it can with how slow he types.

Picky picky. Where are you?

In the lounge-ish area. On the floor, because I guess I picked the busiest airport in the world…

2%. You’re almost ready to snag one of those outlets and suffer the blubbering.

Shucks, that’s a bummer.

It’s not so–

You wince as your screen flickers, waves of sadness overtaking you in conjunction with that dreaded anxiety. Gone is your only lifeline, and it hits you that you’ll have technically left him on read too. You should’ve told him about your battery– fuck, fuck, fuck.

You hug your knees again and shove your useless earbuds in, hoping to dampen some of the noise. It doesn’t work, and you can distinctly make out the sound of a man loudly demanding a full refund.

You try to imagine Homelander. What tales would he have for you once you returned home? How much trouble did he stir up while you were away? Probably the usual, but… you were supposed to see him tomorrow morning when you got home.

God, that thought makes you ache for home even more.

You shut your eyes and attempt a nap.

You try and try to sleep to no avail. Just when you think you might get a wink of rest, you hear audible gasps and shouting. Your eyes shoot open, expecting the absolute worst, but all you see are two imposing sets of red boots.

“You forgot to text me back,” he says nonchalantly.

Tears of joy bite at your eyes as you look up, and you all but launch yourself off the ground and into his arms.

“M’sorry,” you mumble against him. “Battery died.”

“Mm, if you say so. I feel like this was all part of your elaborate plan to get me here.” Homelander pulls away just slightly to look down at you, a twinkle of sympathy in his eyes- a very rare sight. “Well, I know I can’t fly you home, because you’ll turn into a big popsicle, but… there is a hotel nearby and you do deserve a nice place to lay your head.”

Your heart feels so warm it could melt the blizzard outside.

“You just gotta tolerate a little cold.” He grins, winking at you. “And air-Homelander doesn’t have delays. No luggage fees either.”

You throw yourself back into the hug, squeezing him with all you’ve got.

“You’re the best,” you whisper in his ear.

“Yeah, I know.” He replies, uncaring of the spectacle you two must be. “Now let’s get you cozy.”

#homelander #homelander x reader #homelander fanfiction #antony starr #the boys #request

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vortainz · 6 months

Text

The IZ comics have 15 extremely cool artists and here's a slight guide on how to identify them :3

Aaron Alexovich

- typically more dynamic and what i would describe as a “scratchy” artstyle

Issues: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 16, "Gir's Big Day", "Holiday Special", "The Dookie Loop Horror"

KC Green

- very silly and colorful style, creator of the “this is fine” comic/meme

Issues: 6, "Bitters and the Witch", 31

Dave Crosland

- more detailed style, similar to Alexovich but a bit cleaner

Issues: 7, 8, 9, 10, 21, "Invasion!"

Sarah Andersen

- another very silly style, though simpler than KC’s, creator of the “Sarah Scribbles” webcomics

Issue: 11

Warren Wucinich

- main artist and letter-er, typically stays fairly true to the original style though is a bit more round and curvier

Issues: 12, 13, 14, "Tales of Bitter", "The Evil Ms.Bitters", "Sweetheart Bitters", 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, 24, 25, "Tales of Stuff What Did Not Happen", 42, 43, 44, 45, 50, "Dib's Dilemma"

Ian Mcginty

- fairly detailed and feels 3d at times, typically a cover artists (see here)

Issue: "Ms.Bitters' Bugs"

Sarah Graley

- ANOTHER silly style :3, this time more chibi than the others with flat colors

Issue: 26

Maddie C.

- i don’t know how to explain it but squishy, similar to the original style but instead of being mostly flat/sharp lines it’s more curvy (dib being the best example)

Issues: 27, 29, 30, 38, 46, 47, 48

Mady G

- sil,,,,ly, everything just flows together really nicely, very stretchy and expressive

Issue: 28

Kate Sherron

- similar to Wuncinich but id say its a bit more 2d

Issues: 32, 34, 35, 37, 39, "Sugar & Spice"

Meg Casey

- very expressive and curvy

Issue: 32, "ZIM No More", 49

Fred C. Stresing

- tastes like mint ???????, i dunno how to explain it but very cool, i like zims faces

Issues: 33, "Warlocker ZIM", 49, "Zim's Greatest Plan"

Tait Howard & Matthew Seely

- uber chibi, very big eyes

Issue: 36

Dean Rankine

- only 2 pages so i cant really say much but cool

Issue: "SuperZIM"

Drew Rausch

- extremely shapely if that makes sense

Issue: 41

#invader zim #Vortz

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ao719 · 7 months

Text

…Sometimes Not (Part 10)

Love is Ruthless

This is a submission for @choicesflashfics, using prompt #3, “Well … that was unexpected.”

Title inspo: Foolish - Forest Blakk

A/N: This is an au mini series to my Always You story. Not beta’d. Please excuse any errors.

Book/Pairing: TRR; Liam x OC (Reyna)

Rating: T • Warnings: None but some mild language.

Word count: 2500

Catch up here

Pushing open her apartment door, Reyna stepped inside with Liam following behind her. She slung her bag over the back of one of the stools at the counter before heading to the living area and flopping onto the sofa.

“Tired?” Liam chuckled as he sat next to her.

“No,” Reyna smiled. “Just need to sit for a minute. We did a lot of walking today.” After walking around Battery Park earlier, the pair headed to Coney Island. “Are you hungry?”

Liam looked at her, mirroring her grin as they tried to read each other’s thoughts. “Pizza,” they said in unison. “Jinx.”

Reyna pulled her phone out of the pocket of her sweatshirt and brought up the website of the nearest establishment; after a few moments, she set her phone down beside her. “Should be here in about 25 minutes.”

Liam nodded as he stood from the sofa; he walked to the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator before returning to the living area. “Here,” he said, handing her one as he sat.

“Thanks,” Reyna grinned.

Reyna subtly glanced over at Liam. He’d been in the city for a week, and while she intended to finally talk to him during his visit, she hadn’t been able to. Every time they hung out, she’d build up the courage to bring it up, and then something would interrupt them.

The first day they met up, their time together was cut short when Liam got a phone call and had to go back to his hotel for an unplanned virtual meeting. They met up later that evening for dinner, but Reyna struggled to talk herself back into it after the moment had been ruined earlier.

The following evening, while at her apartment, just as Reyna talked herself into broaching the subject, Daniel showed up. He was a tad tipsy and had taken an Uber from the bar he’d been at to her place to tell her all about the terrible date he’d been on. After telling them his dramatic tale, he ended up passing out. Liam helped Reyna get him to the spare bedroom before he left to go back to his hotel.

The next day, Reyna had been intent on bringing it up; she had the entire conversation planned out in her head. After Liam arrived at her apartment that afternoon with lunch, she was about to bring it up when Maxwell called to tell him that he’d just heard from Drake for the first time in nearly three years. That, of course, threw Liam for a loop and altered his mood entirely … along with her plans.

Reyna didn’t attempt to bring it up in the two days that followed; she wanted to make sure Liam was in the right headspace for the conversation. Tonight, however, was his last night in the city before he’d be heading home. It was a now-or-never situation. She had to tell him tonight.

As a silence settled between them, Liam shifted his gaze in her direction; he noticed that Reyna had been acting off all week. Whenever they were together, she seemed a little on edge with her thoughts seemingly occupied by something else most of the time. He couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with his confession. They’d talked via phone calls and video chats since then, but this was the first time they’d seen each other in person since that trip she made to Cordonia. He was worried that what he’d confessed in a moment of weakness when he was unable to keep quiet about his feelings any longer — something he regretted doing almost instantly — had now made things awkward and weird.

The truth was that Liam was left feeling both guilty and humiliated by his confession. Not only was it something he sprung on her out of nowhere but something he didn’t put any thought into, which was why it had come out in a frustrated word vomit. He’d spent the time since working on coming to terms with the fact that she no longer felt the same.

Glancing at her again, Liam took note of the way Reyna’s leg was bouncing nervously. His eyes flickered up and he knitted his brows when he saw the contemplative expression she wore as she stared straight ahead. “Are you alright?” he finally asked.

Reyna looked at him. “Fine. Why?”

“That is a lie,” Liam chuckled. “You’re doing the anxious leg jiggle and you look like you’re trying to solve world peace.” She offered a smile that he noticed didn’t reach her eyes. “Seriously, Rey, what’s wrong?”

Reyna let out a breath and shifted her body on the sofa to face him. Now or never. “I … I need to talk to you about something …”

“Ok …?”

“It’s something I’ve been meaning to bring up all week, I just … I haven’t found the right time,” Reyna explained. He nodded as he stared at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue. “It’s about what you said when I was in Cordonia. Your … confession.” She watched him stiffen uncomfortably at her words, and she let out a breath. “Listen, I know you said not to say anything, but I need to tell you why I didn’t push harder to respond and—”

“Rey, don’t,” Liam interrupted. “Can we please not do this?”

“I just need you to hear me out because—”

“Stop,” Liam pleaded as he shifted his position on the sofa. “Please … stop talking.”

“Liam,” Reyna admonished.

“Reyna, you don’t have to do this. Really.” Liam sighed, running his hand through his hair.

“Do what?”

“Give me an explanation out of pity,” Liam said as he threw his hands up in frustration. He didn’t want to sit there and watch her suffer through trying to explain herself. She didn’t owe him an explanation of any sort. “I get that three years went by … that your feelings changed and our chances slipped away. I just … I just want to move on from it and not think about it.”

Reyna stared at him, both puzzled and frustrated. She’d been hesitant enough about telling him, having to build up the courage just to do so because that fear she had still lingered. She’d chosen to do it, however, because she finally conceded that the risk was worth it … he was worth it … they were worth it. And now, here he was, begging her to stop talking when she was finally ready to pour her heart out and tell him everything … because he had come to the conclusion that she simply fell out of love with him over the years.

What the hell am I supposed to do? Reyna thought as she closed her eyes and let out a breath. I have to tell him tonight. Then, an idea struck. She hadn’t known what exactly she was going to say or how she was going to say it, and clearly, she hadn’t started out well since the conversation seemed to be over before it began. But there was a way for her to tell him how she felt and show him how wrong he was without having to say anything at all.

“Stay here,” Reyna said.

Liam watched her stand and disappear down the hall, leaving him flustered on the sofa. As he muddled through the thoughts filling his head, a knock came on the door.

“I’ll get it,” Liam called out, assuming it was the pizza she’d ordered. He rose from the sofa and pulled his wallet from his back pocket, opening it up and fanning through the cash inside; he slipped his thumb between the bills to hold his place as he opened the door.

Liam froze when he saw Luca standing on the other side … holding a bouquet of roses.

The two men stared at one another. They’d never met face-to-face, but they knew exactly who the other was, both in real life … and Reyna’s.

Liam cleared his throat as he stood a little taller. “Luca, right?” he said, extending his hand for a shake in an attempt to be polite.

“Right,” Luca nodded, shifting the bouquet of roses into one hand while he shook Liam’s with the other; he gripped it a little tighter than necessary as he held Liam’s stare. He certainly didn’t expect to see him there.

“Luca?” Reyna questioned from behind Liam. Both men turned to look at her, meeting her surprised gaze as it flickered between them. “What … what are you doing here?”

Luca slid his eyes to Liam then back to her. “Can we talk?”

“Uh … sure …” Reyna nodded. “I’ll be right back,” she said to Liam before she stepped into the hall to join Luca, closing the door behind her.

Liam could feel his heart racing as he stared at the door. Are they …? He let out a breath. Perhaps this is what she wanted to tell him. Maybe … maybe they were getting back together … or already were, and that’s what she was trying to explain. His heart sank at the thought. Too curious and nosy for his own damn good, he took a step forward and quietly pressed his ear to the door.

In the hall, Reyna’s eyes dropped down to the bouquet in Luca’s hand, and his gaze followed. “I, uh … brought these for you,” he said as he handed them to her.

“They’re beautiful,” Reyna replied somberly; she had a guess as to why he was there. “What … what did you want to talk about?”

“Us …”

Inside the apartment, Liam drew back from the door. He’d heard enough. No, he didn’t know the whole context of their conversation and he wasn’t going to continue to listen in; it wasn’t his place. Regardless, the evening had taken a turn.

Liam chugged the remainder of his water bottle before heading down the hall to use the restroom; he was biding his time. When he returned to the living area and Reyna still hadn’t come back inside, he thought it best to leave them be and go back to his hotel. He pulled his phone from his pocket and sent a quick message to Bastien that he’d be out front in a few minutes.

Just as he slipped it back into his pocket, the door opened, and Reyna stepped inside, holding the roses. “Well … that was unexpected.” She noticed he was standing, lingering near the door. “I’m sorry about that.”

“You’ve nothing to apologize for,” Liam said. “I think I’m going to head out.”

“What?” Reyna said, feeling a slight panic at his words. “Why?”

“I’ve still got to pack for my flight in the morning and you’re heading to the mountains with Aunt Elsie bright and early, so …”

“Liam, I hope you don’t think … Luca stopping by, that wasn’t—”

“Rey, it’s fine,” Liam interrupted, knowing she was going to attempt to explain again. He moved, stopping in front of her, and resting his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t want anything to ruin this friendship we finally got back. I’d rather you be in my life as my friend than not have you at all. I can’t go through that again. So, it’s ok. Really. You don’t need to say anything else.”

Reyna stared up at him, once again puzzled and frustrated; she sorted through all the jumbled words she both wanted and needed to say but was too bemused by what was happening to speak.

“I’ll see you when you get to Cordonia. Have fun on your trip, and tell Aunt Elsie I said hello,” Liam halfheartedly smiled before leaning down and kissing her cheek.

With that … Liam left the apartment, leaving Reyna standing in a still-stunned silence as she stared at the door he’d just walked out of. What the hell just happened? She let out a breath as she glanced down at the roses in her hand. Luca had come there intending to see if there was a chance they could work things out; why he had that thought after all this time she didn’t know. He said that once he saw Liam there, he knew there was no point. He apologized for dropping by unannounced and left.

With a grumble, Reyna threw the roses onto the counter and headed to her room. She flopped down onto her bed, burying her face into her pillow as she let out a muffled frustrated scream. She sat up a moment later and her eyes landed on the item she had come to retrieve to give to Liam; she had tossed it on her bed in surprise when she heard Luca’s voice carry down the hall.

As she stared at it, Reyna decided she wasn’t ready to give up. Not yet. She’d finally talked herself into doing this and she was going to be damned if she let it go without Liam knowing the truth.

*******

Early the following morning, the SUV pulled up to the jet on the tarmac at JFK. Liam slipped out of the backseat and followed behind Bastien, who had his bag.

As Liam made his way up the stairs of the jet, a horn blaring startled him; he whirled around and furrowed his brows when he saw the familiar black Navigator belonging to the Aldridges screech to a halt alongside the jet. He slowly made his way back down the steps as Reyna came into view from around the vehicle.

“Rey?” Liam said as she approached him. “What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving with Aunt Elsie this morning?”

“I am. I made a pit stop here on my way to pick her up.”

“A pit stop for what?” Liam asked.

Reyna stared at him, forcing herself to not hesitate with this. “You think that you have me and my feelings all figured out—”

“Rey—”

“Shut up, Liam!” Reyna barked in exasperation, and his eyes widened in surprise. “You’ve said enough. It’s your turn to stop talking,” she said. “I will respect your wish to not say anything not just because you won’t listen to me but because neither of us has the time to stand here right now and hash all of this out. But I need you to read this …” She revealed a book he hadn’t noticed was tucked beneath her arm and held it out to him; it was what she went to grab from her room last night before they were interrupted.

Liam took it, furrowing his brows; it looked familiar, but he couldn’t place why at the moment. “What is it?”

“You think I simply fell out of love with you over the years … but hopefully reading this will make you understand. It will tell you everything you need to know. Promise me you’ll read it.”

“I …” Liam met her gaze again with both hesitance and confusion but nodded. “I’ll read it.”

Reyna eyed the book for a moment; it held her entire heart … and now it was in his hands. She let out a breath as she glanced back up at him. “I’ll be off the grid while I’m with Aunt Elsie … but I’ll see you when I get to Cordonia in a week. You have until then to read it … and then we’ll talk.”

Reyna perched up on her tiptoes, and Liam instinctively leaned down; she kissed his cheek before turning away, walking back toward her vehicle without a backward glance. He watched her disappear behind the SUV before it drove off the tarmac a moment later.

Liam glanced down, realizing he was looking at the worn brown leather cover of a thick journal; he turned it over in his hands, examining it as he made his way onto the jet.

***************************************

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