#WHERE DID ALL THE ELFS GO

[heyclickadee]

So, my family is rewatching Rings of Power, and since I’m the one in the family that read The Silmarillion (like a masochist), I’m the one who keeps getting asked all the questions.

#‘did this happen?’ well broadly speaking yes but Tolkien never fleshed this part of middle-earth’s history out in much detail #but I know exactly where they got the idea for whatever it is most of the time #‘is Galadriel’s husband really dead’ of course not #‘did Sauron ever go by the name Halbrand?’ well not really but also how much time do you have because this is going to take some explaining #‘is that Gandalf?’ almost definitely but they’re doing the blue wizard thing with him by taking him to Rhun #also I think they’re making him the basis for the hobbit’s ’man in the moon’ song so I’m honestly okay with it #‘is the Queen lady’s nightmare significant’ Yes three times over but how am I supposed to say anything about it #without giving away what’s probably a season finale #‘what’s with the mithril?’ Hell if I know I’m as confused as you are about that #actually the Galadriel’s husband one was funny #because of course Celeborn shows up in the movies #but my mom wasn’t sure that was actually her husband #or some random blorbo #or a second husband #which then opened up the whole conversation #to how the elves are painfully monogamous even when their spouse dies #because they way they die is weird and also #they all still have generational and firsthand trauma from the fallout of that one elf guy who did get remarried #rings of power spoilers

[icewindandboringhorror]

More misc. daily life pictures and such

#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that -- #1 & 2 - Very bright pretty looking sky ! #2. HUGE icicle that looked like you could kill someone with it or something.. Pulled from near a gutter on the side of a building #3. & 4 & 5 - various images from a silly party I had where I pretended to be some elf king turning like 204 years old lol (also not like #a REAL party. Only my roommates were there really and we're all in the same household bubble. #just to clarify. I would never dare have a large party anyway given #my hermitous nature but on top of that.. didn't want there to be some implication that I'm having a Party while covid is still ongoing lol. #NEVER.. But I do love dressing up as some fantasy character so much.. The only thing that could ever bring a true hermit wizard #to engage with others socially is the prospect of connecting it somehow to fantasy worlds and costumes lol. One must simply dress up #as a silly 200 year old man from time to time and pretend you've never seen a balloon before in your life. etc. #6. bapy boye... feets #7. The main food that I made for the elderly elf man 'party'. which was a Deconstructed Beef Wellington (kind of as ajoke since I watch s #o many silly cooking competition shows and they always make stuff 'deconstructed' at the last minute when under time limits or whatever.) #I've wanted to make beef wellington a few times but Ithink to do it well I'd need like..an actual kitchen and a lot of time and #an oven that fully works to bake things and etc. etc. So I thought this would be an easier method. A thick steak cut round to kind of mimi #c the round tenderloin or whatever it is in a wellington. instead of the puff pastry being wrapped around - I just did star shaped cut outs #of pastry and baked them and put them on top (to go with the star theme). instead of mushroom duxelles being wrapped around in pastry #its in a little circle under the steak. and instead of mustard being brushed onto the meat I made a mustard gravy sauce type of thing #Then of course asparagus on the side.. my favorite... Though I know some wellington #also has a layer of prosciutto I think. or I saw one person use crepes. I didn't feel it was necessary to incorporate that too lol #8. bapy son helping me do a giant puzzle that took me hours and I had no idea it was actually that large of a puzzle #until I started putting it together and for some reason it made me stressed by the end instead of relaxed lol.. puzzle fatigue #photo diary

[nikomedes]

the last time i engaged hard with fandoms, like. i was baffled and appalled by how getting that many people fixated on one thing spawns dogshit takes, fanon, and trends at a rate that boiled u like a frog if u checked tags every day but was objectively insane from the outside. its so fast. the less of a media to obsess over, the worse it gets. two shippable white dudes? fucking calamity. and yeah, absolutely any challenging material is either sanded off, elided, or examined in the worst faith you could imagine. both experiences started euphoric as i got social engagement that lit up my dopamine-seeking brain like christmas, and then law of large numbers eventually made it so there was no amount of cool mutuals or number go up to outweigh the braindead posting.

all this to say there are maybe 3 people on earth i want to see bg posting from and everyone else i am holding at gunpoint. no trigger discipline. they say anything lacking basic critical thinking about a dnd character and whatever happens, happens

#my s*ndman experience was wild. the shippable white dudes only having one ep together Did Shit to people #frankly i think there should be an inverse of the waffle house metric where its like. if h*bbit shippers show up #u gotta bail. theyve built their lives on some of the objectively worst commercialized fantasy ever made and the cave shadow of j*hnlock #ive been rewatching while i draw for some lthing pretty to ignore. and im like. do not go in the tumblr tag. nothing there at this point #reflects anything in reality #reflecting on all this bc im seeing discourse about The Elf that makes me want to lock him in a desk drawer like im a teacher #dot txt

[eliza-makepeace]

it seems to me like eldest tries really hard to make it seem like arya has a lot of personality and complexity as a character and frankly it's not really working imho. like. there's a scene that really frustrates me. where we're told that she and eragon sit and talk about their families, their lives and whatnot, but that dialogue just. doesn't exist. how the hell am i supposed to see her as something other than a clear attempt from paolini to create "ideal woman who is so perfect and wonderful and yet will eventually fall for our protagonist"? give her some depth! make it make sense to me that eragon would be interested in her, aside from the fact that she's oh so beautiful. paolini makes him literally say to her that he cares about his friendship with her, but tbh i don't think any of us do either because their friendship has never been properly developed. most of the time it's eragon's inner monologue going "wow she's so pretty and wonderful and has such stealth and her figure and her hair and omg she'd never be with me :(" and her being mean to the dwarves or smth.

#fes rereads eldest #yea i'm sorry the way arya is written infuriates me #nasuada is allowed to be her own person as a character in a way that arya is not #and that's the tea #and tbh i kinda like that murtagh is all like 'oh she's just so clever and elegant' it feels like he's actually adding info #every time eragon starts praising arya on the other hand i'm a bit skeptical tbh #and i'm not the biggest murtagh and nasuada fan myself #i've accepted that's where we're going tho #but the whole arya thing... hopefully she'll get a bit more depth in brisingr... i think she did but i don't remember #she seems to me like the kinda character a teenage boy would write about as a 'fantasy' thing #oh....wait....hold on a minute.... #i also just find the elves really pretentious and i can't really stand their holier-than-thou attitude #and arya has that all over #its clear to me paolini wanted to make the elves just wiser and more knowledgeable than anyone else #but he accidentally made them into self-righteous hypocrites #shit this post has turned into elf-slander #sorry :) #maybe i'll write a proper elf-slander post at some point #i think someone already wrote one that was absolutely wonderful and accurate but i can't really remembmer #anyway

[cicadaknight]

i nearly lost my honor mode run by being honest with minthara during her first romance scene. what a way to go after all that pain and suffering.

#BROOOO #i have made so many mistakes this run #and i’m still on my dark urge time loop shit where i’m committed to being a bastard #i’m an idiot #first mistake was talking to priestess gut as a half elf so she couldn’t drug me #and everyone went agro so i couldn’t go talk to halsin #and i had to murder all the zhents because i failed a check #but mainly the minthara dialogue! oh my god. i just wanted to be honest with her and all the other options were shady #she did not appreciate my candor nor did she like me telling her i wasn’t afraid of her #and i slaughtered the grove so i have no allies #i almost gave up on the run and teleported into the goblin camp to end it all #but with 3 party members dead and my monk at 7hp i last minute decided to gtfo of there and try to make it a little further #if i die this run i’m done being evil in the next attempt #i’ll be a little naughty and i’ll encourage everyone to be their worst selves #but i gotta stop making dumb choices #also… alaughtering the grove was a miserable affair. not for me dawg #bg3 #durge timeloop #hadrin

[somebirdortheother]

Breaking The Ice - Explicit - By SomeBird - Star Trekky AU IS LIVE

As promised, Haladriel/Saurondriel gang, two chapters of my bold venture into where no Elf has gone before are up, and I'm indulgently tagging everyone who'd expressed interest: @jhalya @jurassiclexie @jadika @bettybuckley @hazelmaines @mamanmae @trinuviel @ichabodjane @coraleethroughthelookingglass

Chapter 1 - A Friendly Crewmate

It wasn’t like the Vulcan was downright unfriendly - that very plait dangling in front of him had been braided by his own hands earlier that morning and tied with a blue silk ribbon that matched her eyes that he’ d chosen. Braiding Lieutenant Commander Noldor’s hair had become a little habit for the two of them - the one Halbrand greedily wanted to keep all to himself if he could. He’d taught her how to make a “human” braid half a year ago, during what Halbrand called in his mind the ‘Arda Incident’, and he’d assumed the request would never repeat, especially after how that whole mission had turned out - Miss Noldor had seethed at him in that scorchingly frigid manner of hers the entirety of their recovery. But, three days after leaving Sick Bay, Halbrand had holed himself up in his tiny office adjoining Main Engineering, knees deep in reports he hadn’t reviewed during the time away, he’d heard the Vulcan’s delicate knock on his door and his startled heart began to race. 

Chapter 2 - A Human-Shaped Confection

By the time Galadriel realised that the Thers Sigma VI mission had become what humans crudely called a ‘ fuck-up’ of her doing, it had been too late - she’d pounced on top of Lieutenant Commander Sauron, pinning his wrists above his head and nearly latched onto his delectable neck with her lips, her tongue and her teeth without an invitation. He’d made it immediately worse when he tried to move beneath her, the flex of his muscles, the anticipation of his clever deception to counteract her superior physical strength - already a firm mainstay of her private fantasies - sending her heart hammering heavily in her chest. 

#trop fanfiction #the rings of power #ao3 fanfic #somebird #Star Trek AU #Seriously - look at all the Star Trek lore I threw in here #Did I just claim that Arda is a little pre-industrial planet not ready for First Contact? - Read to find out #Oops Lieutenant Commander Sauron had a cult form around him #galadriel x halbrand #galadriel x sauron #Boldly going where no Elf has gone before #Live Long and Lustful #What happens on Arda stays on Arda

[warlordfelwinter]

feeling normal about that tevinter mage

#i love getting to skyhold and already having enough approval to instantly start that romance #ella's expression is just so snoft.... #as he realizes #'ah. whoops.' #when did you realize it ell #was it when you told dorian; in front of his dad; that you've fucked guys #that is THE funniest dialogue option during that scene #the entire exchange is so stupid #dorian outing himself because he's angry at his dad #the inquisitor being so caught up in a world where homophobia doesn't exist that he doesn't get it #and then dorian spelling it out and the inquisitor being like 'OH. me too.' #magister pavus just standing there with his head in his hands #as some elf basically says 'hey would you like to fuck?' to his son #NOT that i feel bad for halward #fuck him #but then also later with mother giselle when dorian is like 'you might have to spell it out' #bc he has realized that the inquisitor is completely fucking oblivious at all times #which is perfectly accurate for ella #he's so insightful and observant and smart EXCEPT when it comes to other people and social interaction #put him in charge of a politically and religiously charged army! it will go great #dragon age #oc: ellassan lavellan

[kagedbird]

Tailesin tried to kill me and now I'm in Stros M'kai being taken care of by an elderly elf that was part of the Thalmor but went rogue

Why do I keep getting characters other than Tailesin LMAO

#The romance one was someone named Valren?? #And now I have Elian the elderly elf #I just wanted to flirt with a cute high elf where did it all go wrong smh /joke #Skyrim #character.ai #Tailesin

[thenerdcommander]

I love making problematic male characters

#he started out problematic bc he's a templar and oh BOY does it keep getting worse #man's cheating on his wife with a mage he had a crush on 7 years ago #and he treats said mage like garbage now #the end of that story is already plotted and don't worry he effectively goes to therapy gets a divorce and becomes a simp later but LORD #the DRAMA in this romance #sometimes you let the order make your crush tranquil so they don't kill him and then later when he's cured of said tranquility he blames you #and then you both hate eachother for a long time and then you bang and then you convince yourself it was blood magic and hate your ex crush #even more than before but your crush still digs you anyway so it all snowballs into a personal crisis bc Mother Giselle was right you don't #actually believe it was blood magic or you would've killed him so now you just have to sit with that and pick apart this whole narrative #you've built over the years to keep yourself from feeling all the things you didn't want to #and it eventually culminates into divorcing your wife that fed your unhealthy coping mechanisms (ie spinning a narrative in which you did #nothing wrong) admitting you were in the wrong going through the process of rebuilding trust with your crush and building a relationship you #never let yourself have with him before bc as a templar you're not supposed to get close to your charges and you took that very seriously #back in the day but the divine abolished the circles so you don't have to do that anymore and you can relax and let your feelings *exist* #and you adopt a dog together and go on adventures and the first time you ever admit you love him is in front of your extremely pious father #which is a hell of a move bc your boyfriend is A) a mage B) a man and C) an elf #and then you sort-of adopt your niece together bc she started developing magic and your brother is an asshole #and then you drag your boyfriend out into the Vimmark mountains where you get the best view and propose to him but you're awkward #so you tell him to forget it and then later you try again somewhere else #and then you honeymoon in Antiva #and you make sure he gets to see all the things he wouldn't have gotten to locked up in a tower

[teagoblin]

.

#currently watching lotr and just having the best time noticing how hard Aragorn avoids his King Responsibilities #and ends up taking the path that ends up fulfilling them #i also love that hes the first one to join the fellowship after gandalf volunteers #he was like oh?? other people can join? count me tf in #i know he believes in the cause and everything but lbr he couldve helped in other ways #but THIS way gets him out of rivendell lickety split where elf dad cant Judgemental Stare him into being king #and i know there was a bunch of stuff with arwen happening but i choose to believe this #also elrond did not have to publicly scalp gimli in the extended scene right afterward #may the blessings of -looks at legolas- elves -looks at aragorn- men -looks at gimli- ...and all free people go with you #you could dole out the pettiness with a ladle and feed millions #I'm #also just #rewatching the fight between saruman and gandalf im realizing saruman really stretched out the buildup #trying to feel gandalf out #and then he was like Okay i think hes ready for me to drop the news lemme go for it #and gandalf was like youre nuts and saruman was like OH NO and just immediately attacks him #no further conversation #just throwing immediate wizard hands #like imagine your dm being like *He asks you to join him* and you go *thats crazy* and then theyre like #*Roll initiative. also hes getting a surprise round* #like OKAY THEN #jfc

[apollos-boyfriend]

SPARKLEZ!

You wouldn't believe the things I've seen. Or maybe you would. What do I know?

Worlds upon worlds of wonder have embraced my many selves. I'm living a thousand lives at once. And those are just the lives I'm aware of. For instance, in a place called Middle Earth I am reborn a beautiful elf queen. And under the ice shield of a moon called Europa I am a strand of plankton. And in a world we both know well, I'm a bunch of little girls who look just like me, and maybe other things too... Anyway, my umbrella consciousness has reformed for just a moment; my caretaker, in his mercy, has allowed me to show you these things.

But you definitely won't believe the most amazing thing I've seen. Lately I've been looking through a window... A window into bygone years. A man sits in front of a screen, speaking his soul to the world while playing a game. I think I know who he is!

I see this man forming friendships with those who also speak to the world. I know who they are too. They project themselves as tiny box figures into a world made of boxes. It's so much less detailed than the world where the man and his friends sit. I would not have known Ruxomar and it's sister dimensions to be so childlike in appearance except by this contrast!

The days go on as the friends play. The boxlike world is ruled by two gods. Of course I know who they are. The man is faced with a choice between the two. His life is riddled with choices! And like the stubborn idealist he is, he carves out a middle path. He'll take neither god. He'll have a goddess all to his own.

He created me.

A man named Jordan Maron created the goddess Ianite in a world beyond worlds. And Jordan Maron looks just like you. He is one of your countless alternate selves. He looks so much less boxy! I think that if I did not already know you and Spark so well, I would call him my favorite version.

Now I grasp the truth I have been seeking all my life. I have see what is above gods. It is ____________.

My umbrella consciousness won't hold much longer. Let me say a few choice words before the final goodbye between this version of you and this version of me. Thank you for choosing to create me. I believe that had the other you not made that choice in that far off world, none of my present selves would exist. In a strange sense, you are my god. Thank you for believing in your creation enough to make it real. Thank you for continuing to love me and make choices for my wellbeing. I hope another you loves another me in another world soon.

If Jordan looks out the window one of these days, he might be able to see me.

Not even creeping. Just fyi.

Forever Your Lady

#icarus speaks #containment breach #taking inspiration from fern for this one

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them. #hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore. #but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy

[yandere-writer-momo]

Author’s note: I am stuck in a slump so I’m going to write a guilty pleasure of mine… the body swap trope except this time, with a twist. And of course with the one that got away trope. I adore it so very much like black cherry ice-cream.

Yandere Head Canons:

The Husband Swap

Yandere Shapeshifter x Married Fem Elf Reader x Neglectful Drow Husband

TW: yandere content!! Mentions of smut, dubcon, tentacles, monster fucking, size kink, manipulation, voyeurism, oral, and unhealthy relationship.

Art from Veil Manga

You had been married to your husband, Nikolai Sokolov, for many years. An arranged marriage set up amongst your people as a peace treaty… you, a high elf, wed to a drow, dark elf. And Nikolai was often cold to you… despite how often you attempted to bond with him.

Nikolai refused to eat any of the food you made and he constantly brushed aside your attempts to get to know him. He cared little for this arranged relationship and treated you as if you were some mere commoner, a fact that only made your heart sting.

Nikolai would occasionally share a bed with you, but it was often out of fulfilling his needs. He cared little for your pleasure and only cared to satiate his own.

One day, Nikolai bought you a servant just to get you to leave him alone (outside of sex). A shapeshifter.

A magic collar was bound tightly around their silver neck as a preventative to their ability to shift. They were now powerless and subservient. A trait that most shapeshifters didn’t have since they were quite sly by nature. You wondered what this creature had done to have been reduced to a servant…

Their name was Lev Snegur and they were close in age to you and Nikolai. The shapeshifter was somewhat masculine looking with sharp features and pitch black eyes. A genderless species that never uttered a sound, what wonderful company to have.

You often tried to engage in small talk with them, but they remained as silent as the depth of night. Not a peep left their lips to ever give you input. It unnerved you.

You were very sweet to them and even offered to share meals, but they only stared at you. Talking to Lev was like talking to a brick wall that nodded at times. Lev was an incredibly good listener.

Lev’s company did little to satiate the ache in your heart and the all consuming loneliness. You were so isolated in this empty home filled with bitterness. And you started to accept that you’d never find any warmth with him. Nor would you find solace in your silent servant’s company.

Occasionally you’d wake up covered in a slight sweat, a puddle of dampness below you. The room would always feel of sex, yet you hardly had any of that… but you were always a bit sore between your legs when you’d wake up on mornings like this. Had you been having wet dreams due to your consistent loneliness? Or was there something foul at play?

So it was a surprise when Nikolai bounced into your room like a puppy one morning. His arms wrapped around your side while he inhaled your scent. What on earth was he doing?

“Nikolai?” Nikolai placed a finger on your lips, a mischievous look in his crimson eyes.

“Shh, I have a surprise for you!” Nikolai gave you a bright grin that made you do a double take. You’ve never seen your grumpy husband smile in his entire life. This had to be a dream… you gave yourself a pinch and hissed at the pain you inflicted on your poor arm. Nope. Not a dream.

Nikolai lead you out of the room to where a grand meal was set before you consisting of all of your favorite delicacies. You had no idea your husband even knew you adored such food…

“Do you like it?” His face was hopeful as he took your hand in his. “I’ve come to a realization that you genuinely care for me… so I will treat you better.”

And from that day forth, Nikolai was more attentive than he ever had been. He insisted you should move into his room and he often cuddled with you… it was so odd. This entire situation was bizarre, almost as if this was another person and not your husband.

It was when Nikolai went down on you for the first time that your mind truly began to believe he was another man. When did he learn how to please you and why did he eat you out like a man starved? This wasn’t your husband… this was an imposter.

When ‘Nikolai’ made love to you, he felt bigger. You swore he was nearly two to three inches than he used to be, which made your stomach protrude like you had a baby bump. And his hands ardently grasped at every bit of your body as he could.

It wasn’t too uncommon for you to find your husband sniffing your hair like some sort of animal. You were so scared…

The longer you spent time with ‘Nikolai,’ the more paranoid you became. There were less and less drows around now and your servant was missing… you were starting to become afraid.

But you never were able to get much time to think about it too much since ‘Nikolai’ was always dutifully by your side. There was never any time to ask questions… until tonight. You decided to ask him… for you feared you’d fall off the deep end into insanity if you didn’t.

“Where’s Lev?” You softly asked Nikolai whose fingers paused their dance over your scalp. His crimson eyes glanced over to your face.

“And why do you care so much about a shifter when your husband is here?” Nikolai asked in a bitter tone, but you could see a bit of excitement in his eye. And it made your heart pulse in your brain.

“Well, I miss Lev.” You softly whispered. It wasn’t a complete lie. You did miss your servant who always listened to you, but you preferred his silent company over the overbearing presence of your changed husband.

“Hmm… well, we can go see him if you’d like.” Nikolai rose up from the bed and wrapped a black robe over his bare chest. “He’s in the dungeon.”

You were a bit shocked by your husband’s words. “What do you mean? Lev never did anything wrong-“

“My wife is too kind for her own good.” Nikolai held your chin to pause you from rambling on even more. His eyes were filled with so much emotion, it froze you in place. “It’s what I love most about you.”

You gulped and averted your gaze, your cheeks felt hot.

Lev lead you down the hallway and down the winding stairs to the dungeon, his hand gently held yours. You felt dread creep up into your stomach the closer you went to the dingy dungeon. Your nerves felt as if they were on fire…

And the sight before you terrified you to your core, the angled corpse of Nikolai laid sprawled out on the brick flooring. His lifeless eyes turned toward the door and his mouth agape in a horrific scream forever frozen on his rotting face.

You tried to flee but your ‘Nikolai’ began to shift, slender hands now held you firmly in place while your captor’s face slowly morphed into the bewitching creature named Lev.

“It didn’t take much to overpower him. Your husband was too cocky to notice I figured out how to disarm the collar.” Lev’s voice made your blood run cold from how raspy it was. His voice low and monotonous despite the various emotions that hid beneath the surface of his eyes. “To whack him over the back of the head with a sword hilt and drag him down here. It was child’s play really.”

“Are you going to kill me too?” You whimpered when his grip tightened around your arms. His face filled with concern.

“Kill you? Nonsense, I’d never kill my wife!” Lev began to pepper your face with numerous kisses while his arms snaked around your waist. “I mean it when I say I love you, I love you more than that bastard ever could.”

You try to protest, but you feel something slimy wrap around your legs and give them a squeeze. Your eyes are wide in terror at the black tendrils that snaked around your plush thighs. What on earth?!

“And I can certainly fuck you better than he ever could… I can show you things no other monster could ever show you, so won’t you indulge me? I promise I’ll blow your mind.”

#female reader #yandere fic #yandere imagine #yandere #yandere dilf #obsessive yandere #yandere x willing reader #yandere x you #yandere x reader #obsessive love #yandere obsession #yandere oc #yandere original character #yandere males #yandere male #yandere concept #yandere husband #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere blog #yandere stories #yandere content #husband swap #body swap #yandere monster #yandere monster x reader #monster fucker #monster smut #tentacles #yandere horror

[perilegs]

what they don't tell you about being obsessed with your video game pc is that no one else will write several page essays about parallels between them and some other character

#im replaying da:o. specifically replaying my canon run. and my warden is the most important character ive created #can you call making pcs creating. i guess you can #anyways shes a dalish elf and she literally had to be conscripted to join the gray wardens bc she did Not want to go #like is she cocky and brash and a bit rude and always going places where she shouldnt and yearning to explore? yeah! #but leaving is hard. she doesnt want to go. its all shes ever known please dont cast her aside shes begging please she doesnt want to leave #mom please #and. i just got to the point in my rerun where you recruit morrigan. #yeah. #leevi liveblogs

[nottragic-stilltoothsome]

Everything I found in Szarr's palace, for all your fanfiction-writting needs. I haven't found any other post like this one, so i hope i m not copying anyone. Posting it here, because editing the official wiki feels intimidating. Feel welcome to add anything I missed.

Astarion's siblings (the other spawn):

Petras - one of the two you meet in the Flophouse.

Dalyria - the other one from the two you meet in the flophouse. Her diary can be found in the "guest room". Before Cazador turned her, she was a doctor, a "Physician General to the Parliament of Baldur's Gate". She thinks vampirism is a disease and plans on curing herself of it by drinking blood of someone young and healthy - other spawn's daughter, Victoria.

Leon Onufrio - before Cazador turned him, Leon was a sorcerer. He is the one whose daughter's (Victoria's) body is found, cursed, in the room where with the Kozakuran dictionary.

Leon put a protective counter-curse on her, to discourage other spawns from attacking her. Despite his efforts, Dalyria bit her, hoping it'd cure her vampirism. Needless to say, it didn't and Victoria died @easterlingwanderer found out that if you use "speak with the dead" on the body, it turns out that it was a random urchin and Leon did get Victoria out of the city on time. After removing the curse inflicting you with necrotic demage, you can loot a letter of her body from her father instructing Victoria to read said dictionary, so she can freely move around the castle.

In the favoured spawn room, you can learn that Leon was the one usualy occupying it (along with his daughter). His diary reveals that he put extra effort to be Cazador's best hunter, so he can keep Victoria away from others and that he came up with a plan with Figaro to disguise and sneak Victoria out of the palace.

He also notes that he doesnt like the way Violet looks at Victoria and Cazador's wicked smile, when Leon asked him what his master was planning to do with his daughter.

Violet - you can find her Diary in the Dormitory of Spawn. She notes that she put garlic in Yousen bed as a prank.

Aurelia - a tiefling

Yousen - @neophytepagan noticed he is a gnome

Other:

The chamberlain of Cazador was Antwun Dufay. In his diary, which can be found under his bed in his room after a successful passive perception check, it says that he had a lover Lurianna (a werewolf, who can be found dead by walking through fake north wall of chamberlain's office, or through another fake wall in Chamberlain's private room). He knew about Cazador's Black Mass enough to fake his death in order to avoid the threat of taking Astarion's place. Unfortunately for him, it seems he confused the actual death potion and fake death potion, and really died. His lover drank the other potion, which melted her guts. The actual fake-death elixir can be found in his desk, which puts the player in 10-turn coma. He ordered the elixir from Bonecloaks', where he also ordered most of the things the palace needed to function (like bloodstain remover, candles and food for "guests").

Godey - Cazador's right hand. Astarion says that while Cazador was the master of the palace, the kennels (the room where the spawn d be tortured, when they did something Cazador didnt approve of) was the domain of Godey. Godey tortured the spawn when Cazador didnt feel like it. Cazador trusted Godey with the key to the sealed ballroom for the duration of the ritual.

Through the palace, fanatic-servants cleaning the palace: Syrin - human, Greenfern - wood half-elf, Vilhelm - human, Varderola - also human. All of them are servants, who Astarion said are devoted to Cazador and came to the palace of their own will, beggining Cazador to turn them into vampires. Vilhelm is most noteable, as you can talk to him and he asks Astarion why isn't he downstairs, that he is late and the ballroom is already locked. If pressed, he informs that Godey has a key and that the Cazador is going to punish Astarion for missing the ritual (and from his expression, he seems to quite like the thought).

Chamberlain Dufay wrote a blooddonnors ledger, instructing the Spawn to favourite the lower class as prey, as too many missing patriars may drow too much attention.

The language Cazador uses is Kozakuran, from a distant land of Kara-Tur. Astarion notes that they were strictly forbidden from learning it. From Cazador's Journal you can learn that Astarion was not an unreliable narrator when he said Cazador liked torturing him the most: Cazador paid the most attention to him in the journal.

In the favoured spawn room, there is a ledger with the list of spawns who have been favoured (its only Leon and one time Violet).

Amanita Szarr - on her 13th birthsday, invited by her Uncle Cazador. She was invited to the ballroom. She became a vampire, but was not happy about it. She rejected her family name Szarr and named herself Lady Incognita. She claims she stays in the attic and writes stories. One of the books written by her can be found on Cazador's desk.

Mrel Alkam - vampire mastress from Athkatla that Cazador wrote a letter to.

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #spawn #astarion's siblings #cazador szarr #cazador #fanfiction #godey #astarion x tav #resources #astarion ancunin #lore #chamberlain dufay

[mooshywrites]

Could I request headcanons for Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Halsin, Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor react to his shy gender neutral crush accidentally sitting on his lap? They get off immediately while apologising the moment they realised!

A/N - Ahhhhh this prompt idea is so adorable ;-;!!!!!

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Masterlist

Art commissions

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Astarion -

~ Astarion would definitely not let you forget something like this.

~ After a particularly hard day full of fighting, I can see the whole camp deciding to relax and pass around one or two (or a case) of wine.

~ The alcohol goes straight to your head and you’re tripping over your feet in no time. This isn’t a problem, that is until… you stumble and trip your way right into Astarion’s lap

~ Your cheeks get all red, your words coming out with a plethora of excuses and Astarion basks in your embarrassment with glee.

~ He’s secretly loving it for another reason, that being the closeness of you against him now. You’ve been much too shy up to this point to even look him in the eye, let alone touch him

~ You’re falling over yourself trying to get up, apologizing more times than anyone can count and of course Astarion has all the petty things anyone could ever say

~ “If you wanted a place on my lap, you need only ask, darling.”

~ He loves it even more the next morning when he notices that now you can’t even look in his general direction without turning a beautiful shade of red

Gale -

~ Gale would be all jokes if you accidentally sat on him, trying his best to ease the awkward tension

~ “You know, I always thought I looked like an awkwardly plush chair” he would tease, lending a hand to help you up

~ I think he would love the flush to your cheeks, knowing you’re absolutely mortified by the experience.

~ He wouldn’t tell a soul about it, not even in jest. He knows how shy you are and knows the accident would only embarrass you further if your other companions caught wind of it, even if part of him wanted to brag

~ Instead, he would playfully point out ever tripping hazard while with you, leaving it an inside joke between the two of you

Wyll -

~ I can definitely see you losing your balance while practicing a difficult attack, landing right into the Devil’s lap

~ Wyll would be as charming as ever about the whole situation, making a dramatic flourish as he “caught you”

~ He’d probably rave on and on about how the ‘Blade of the Frontiers’ often had to catch damsels in distress as they fell into his awaiting arms. Everyone else may think this was because he was a braggart, but you knew deep down he did it to ease your embarrassment

~He would definitely be kind enough to ignore your reddened cheeks, whispering that everything was absolutely alright as you shot up practically shouting an “I’m sorry”

~ From that moment on, though, he always made sure to be the closest one to you, making sure he’d be there if you needed a knight in shining armor’s lap to save you again

Halsin -

~ You would be immensely tired after a long day of traveling, not even looking where your feet planted as you plopped down on what you thought was a log.

~ You practically jump out of your skin when strong arms wrap around you casually, Halsin continuing on his conversation with the others as if nothing happened

~ You would feel the red hot embarrassment in every nerve of your body, hissing to Halsin to let go, apologizing for sitting on him

~ He would cling on for a few moments, letting out a deep chuckle at your blunder

~ “Think nothing of it, my heart, I simply thought you wanted to sit somewhere softer than the ground. Would you prefer to sit on me if I were a bear?”

~ You couldn’t even answer him, smacking his chest and jumping out of his arms

~ Thank goodness it was dark, you wouldn’t want anyone seeing the goofy smile on your face paired with the knowing grin on the gentle giant elf

Dammon -

~ Dammon would be so generously kind as you accidentally sat on him, helping you back up, worried he made you uncomfortable

~ He would definitely be the only one to be more embarrassed than you, his cheeks the exact same shade of red. He’d try to play it off, but the cracks in his voice gave it away immediately

~ Both of you would be an adorable mess of apologies and stutters, trying to ignore how nice it was to be that close only moments earlier.

~ He would finally clear his throat, trying to change the subject as the red in his cheeks began to even seep down to his neck.

~ You both finally relaxed a little, smiling relieved smiles

~ That is until a very loud, very obvious Astarion would gesture between the two of you, “When the hell are you two going to finally admit you like each other! Seriously, this is getting difficult to watch”

~ It would take days before the you and Dammon could make it through a conversation without sounding like a bumbling lovesick kit after that

Rolan -

~ If anyone could be more awkward than Dammon when you sat on his lap, it would absolutely be Rolan. Apparently the invisibility spell he was trying out worked a little too well.

~ You would let out a shriek as you sat down, expecting the chair to feel… well… like a chair. You spun around to an apologetic smile and hands held up in defense

~ Both of you would choke out an “im sorry” at the same time, giggling a little breathlessly

~ “What the hell were you doing as a chair?” You’d complain, trying to swallow away the embarrassment, not knowing it was written across all of your features

~ “We’ll, technically, I wasn’t a chair” He’d say defensively, his cheeks turning a deeper shade of his already crimson skin

~ Neither of you spoke of it after, but you definitely didn’t miss the way Rolan seemed extra attentive in the days after

Zevlor -

~ Zevlor would be sickly sweet about all of it, a little disappointed when you didn’t stay for more than a moment

~ You’d make up for that when your sweet quiet voice would squeak out some apologies, eyes looking anywhere but him. He so very loved when you were embarrassed like this

~ He’d brush it off quickly, pulling up your hand to kiss it gently

~ This would make you blush more but that was probably his whole goal to begin with

~ “I’m completely at your disposal.” He’d say, taking every opportunity to memorize the shy smile you gave him

#bg3 fanfiction #bg3 headcanons #bg3 zevlor #zevlor x reader #astarion x you #bg3 astarion #gale x reader #bg3 gale #wyll x reader #bg3 wyll #halsin x reader #bg3 halsin #dammon x reader #bg3 dammon #rolan x reader #bg3 rolan