#Well this one could also be about parenthood I guess.

[averbaldumpingground]

Life almost disappears, those summer afternoons spent reading in the park, your head half-leaning on his shoulder. Those mornings in the spring, a little late for work.

It didn't matter then, the way he took two sugars in his coffee. The way you let your hair grow out too long.

But these, the memories we keep, crammed in a shoebox full of polaroids, saved somewhere on a half-forgotten hard drive, they're what remains behind. They're what your sister finds, the weekend that she helps you pack your life.

And then it's sitting on the couch, your kitchen stuff already wrapped in paper. It's styrofoam containers, soda cans. It's wine that she's already drinking from the bottle.

And you can't figure out whose silhouette that was, who showed up to your party with a boa. And she is pretty sure her ex has kids.

But maybe that's why you and I keep postcards. Somebody's bow tie, paperclips, that bit of string.

They don't remind us of some other time, exactly. They're pieces of the people that we were, they're feelings that we'd wanted to hold on to.

#June 12 2023 #I've had 'Spin' by Lifehouse stuck in my head all day. #Is it about some girl? Is it about god? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Who the heck even knows. #I mean that's like a very large percentage of Lifehouse's musical output. #Well this one could also be about parenthood I guess. #And I'm pretty sure 'You and Me' is definitely about Jason Wade's wife and 'Hanging by a Moment' is about god per comments he's made. #But it's a fun party game isn't it? #Speaking of 'Hanging by a Moment'. Even though it came out when I was like 12 and I hadn't yet realized the whole religious thing. #I associate it most with the summer I was 25 and living with my parents for the summer for a grad school internship. #I remember driving my mom's car to work after dropping her off along the way and cranking up the radio. #Unfortunately my options were limited to the pop station (too many commercials) or the Spanish station (I don't speak Spanish) #or the Christian rock station (the one I usually listened to despite my uncomfortable relationship with religion especially at the time). #And the first time I heard them play Lifehouse I was like wtf? Why is the Christian rock station playing something I actually like? #And then I really listened to the words of 'Hanging by a Moment' and I was 'Oooooh.' #And that was how it took me like 13 years to realize a band I liked and owned cds of may or may not have written a bunch of songs about god #Which honestly would have turned 12 year old me off a lot because like it's not fun being an atheist when almost everyone's a dick about it #And I'm not sure it was the healthiest coping mechanism for the whole having my heart shattered by a religious dude when I was 25... #Actually that's not true. That year I mostly played the fuck out of Emmylou Harris's and Bob Dylan's most depressing hits. ('Gold' anyone?) #Followed by Royal Wood's divorce album when that came out. #But blasting the Christian rock station in the car? Definitely kind of intentionally masochistic. But also I really hate radio commercials. #I did listen to a lot of Lifehouse that summer. #So regardless of what the songs are actually about they all remind me of the highway and my mom's old car and carpooling to work. #Except 'Blind'. 'Blind' still makes me cry. #That was a really pointless aside because I don't feel like writing or going to sleep and will probably stay up listening to Lifehouse now. #I guess the moral of that story if it needs to have a moral is: #If you're a godless heathen and someone makes you feel like shit because they act like there's something wrong with you for it #you're much better off not wasting your time trying to understand why they think like that and living your best heathen life instead. #Or something like that. Idk.

[beneathstarryskies]

Omg your requests are open 🙏

Could I please request some breeding kink headcanons for some of the RE men? Chris, Leon, Wesker, Ethan and Karl? That would be awesome! Thank youuuu

Warnings: breeding, pregnancy, female reader, obviously unprotected sex.

Chris Redfield

Chris didn’t even realize he had a breeding kink. He stays so busy and is often so far away, he doesn’t see himself as necessarily being ‘father material.’

However, one day, he goes with you to a family function. There, he gets the rare chance to see you interacting with your small nieces/nephews/cousins and he imagines you with your children. Would you be as patient and loving as you are with the small kids in your family? 

Chris knows this isn’t a decision to make lightly, but he also is a man who acts a lot on passion and instinct. 

When he gets you home that night, he can’t stop thinking about putting a baby in you. 

You can’t do anything for the next few days without Chris pawing at you, kissing you everywhere he can reach, begging to cum inside you every time he can. 

Are you bending over to do laundry? Oh, now you have his bulge pressed against your ass! Are you lying in bed reading? Guess who is slowly peeling your pants off and pressing kisses on your inner thighs! 

Finally, he lets it slip. He has you bent into a mating press while he’s pounding into your soaked cunt with reckless abandon. 

“Let me put a baby in you,” he growls against your ear. 

Leon S. Kennedy

Leon has been on his own for a long time. He loves the idea of having a little family of his own, and he doesn’t hide it at all. 

Every time he’s fucking you, he is going to cum inside of you whether you’re on birth control or not. He just can’t imagine not spilling his load inside of your waiting walls. 

Leon will slip up and call you ‘mommy’. He says it sort of as a joke the first time, but then the name just fits you so well. He can’t resist telling you how much he wants to make you a mommy. 

He always keeps his cock sheathed inside of you after you’ve both finished to keep his cum plugged inside your little hole. 

If he goes soft he’ll just use his fingers to push his cum back inside and keep it inside. 

For all of his big talk, if you do end up pregnant he will panic a little bit deep down. His work is dangerous and has earned a lot of enemies for him. It might take him a while to let the news set in. 

Once you are pregnant and Leon comes to terms with the reality of parenthood, he becomes so protective. You will never be out of his sight, even if it’s just him tracking your location or calling in a favor to have an agent look after you while he’s away. 

All in all, he’s very happy to have bred you. 

Albert Wesker

As an Umbrella operative/double agent, Wesker didn’t have a breeding kink. He was constantly plotting for his gain and looking out for his skin. Being a parent would only complicate matters further and give him yet another piece to move on the chessboard. 

However, when he realizes the true potential he holds within himself, to dominate the world and rule as a god, something snaps within him. 

The need to carry on his superior genes and establish a legacy grows strong. 

He can’t breed with just anyone, however. He goes to painstaking lengths to find someone who has genes compatible with his own. Oh, and once he finds you he wastes no time making his way into your life. 

You’re his precious little lover, and he goes to any lengths to make sure you’re as smitten by him as he is with you. 

He gets off to the idea of knocking you up every single time you’re intimate. Even if you’re just giving him a blow job, he will bust as soon as he imagines breeding you. 

Not to worry though, because Wesker has stamina for days. He’ll wear you out with his libido. All the while he’s growling and grunting in your ear, making sure to tell you how much he loves breeding your little cunt. 

If you beg for him to cum inside of you, good fucking luck. He will go absolutely feral. 

Ethan Winters

It’s no secret that Ethan loves being a dad more than anything. He has so much love to give, and he is naturally doting on those he loves. 

That being said, with everything he’s been through it will take him some time after your relationship begins to think about having a family with you. It will first cross his mind when someone mentions how good you are with Rose. 

The thought sticks with him for a while, and then it morphs into the idea of having another baby…

Soon, he’s picturing you swollen and round with his baby growing inside of you. He can practically hear how sweet you’d be explaining to Rose that she’s going to be a big sister. 

He’s trembling with excitement when he brings up the idea of having a baby to you. If you agree, he is going to be hard immediately. 

Ethan doesn’t do anything half-assed. The man becomes OBSESSED with breeding you. 

He’s tracking cycles, he’s pulling all the positions that are the most effective for conceiving, and most of all he is fucking you every single time he gets the chance. 

Karl Heisenberg

Karl gets the idea to breed you for entirely selfish reasons if we’re being honest. 

When Alcina is allowed to create three daughters, he grows a bit jealous of that. Why does she get a family? Why does Donna get her stupid little doll? And when he learns of the possibility of having a strong, powerful child…Oh boy. 

He won’t exactly tell you his intentions. He just starts pumping thick loads of cum into you every chance he gets. 

One night he’ll let it slip, “I’m gonna put a baby in you.” 

He doesn’t really care if you want a baby or not, the idea of it just motivates him beyond anything else. He becomes insatiable, especially during a full moon. He’ll have you bent over every surface or folded into a mating press all night long. 

The problem with Karl though is he doesn’t actually consider the reality of having a kid. When you start showing signs of pregnancy, he kind of starts to panic. He might push you away a little bit, not fully wanting to take responsibility even though he wanted it so badly at first. 

However, when certain people begin questioning how you became pregnant his protective instincts will flare up. Then, he’ll never let you leave his sights.

#🌟written in the stars #chris redfield x reader #leon kennedy x reader #albert wesker x reader #ethan winters x reader #karl heisenberg x reader #chris redfield #leon kennedy #albert wesker #ethan winters #karl heisenberg

[alastor-is-best-deer-boi]

The Littlest Morningstar

Rating: Gen

Warnings: None

Tags: Pre-canon, fluff, domestic fluff, parenthood, canon compliant for the most part I think except maybe one headcanon

Word Count: 1k

Summary: Lucifer and Lilith Morningstar admire their newborn daughter, Charlotte.

Note: After episode five I just had to write this! I had it stuck in my head and needed to get it out. I know posting it right before new episodes tomorrow seems crazy, but better now than tomorrow I think. Hope you enjoy all the fluff! This is my first Hazbin Hotel fic, so I hope it's not ooc.

Also, I know the title is ironic considering Charlie grows up to be taller than her dad, but it fits in this context.

Additionally, we need more little Charlie gifs! I know it's not accurate to the fic, but it's the best I can do.

Also Read on AO3

Lucifer sat slightly curled up with his wife, Lilith, on their bed. The couple leaned against each other, taking in the quiet, peaceful moment with the newest addition to their family, their newborn daughter.

He watched how his wife doted on her sleeping daughter, bundled up comfortably in a soft blanket. Lilith whispered sweet words to the infant, a smile on her face. Lucifer felt like he’d fallen in love with his wife all over again, his heart full of love for his precious family.

“What’s on your mind, dear?” Lilith spoke, still keeping her tone soft to not wake up Charlotte.

Lucifer looked up at her, a small smile on his face. “Just thinking about how lucky I am to have both of you in my life… and, I don’t know, I guess I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with love right now.” He chuckled softly, wiping a tear from his eye.

Lilith beamed, taking his hand in hers for a moment, rubbing gentle circles with her thumb on his skin.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

She let out a small sigh, though still with a happy expression. “Tired… but overjoyed.”

“It was a lot to go through, but you, of course, handled it gracefully throughout the whole thing.” He kissed her hand.

“The whole thing? I feel like you may be exaggerating just a tad.” She joked.

“No, I mean it. How could I possibly lie about my beautiful, strong, and amazing wife, huh? It’s not something I’d do.” He grinned, meaning every word he said.

“Thank you, honey.” Lilith smiled and placed her hand on his cheek, leaning closer to kiss him.

Lucifer gladly accepted, closing his eyes and enjoying her presence. They eventually parted and rested their foreheads together; both smiling.

He pulled away when he heard the tiniest-sounding yawn he’d ever heard in his life; causing a wave of emotions in his heart. Lilith and he looked down at their tiny daughter. Her face had scrunched up, and with some effort, she opened her eyes.

“Oh, just look at her, Luce…” Lilith cooed, making sure her daughter was still settled comfortably in the blanket.

He could feel tears welling up again, quickly wiping them away and smiling. “She’s beautiful.”

“She looks like you, has your eyes.” She murmured, looking down at her with a small smile.

Lucifer felt a swell of pride seeing how similar his daughter’s eyes looked to his. Long ago, he struggled with some of the changes that had been done to him when he fell, the color of his eyes included. But seeing them in his daughter, they suited her wonderfully.

“Her eye shape is like yours, and she kinda has your nose,” he commented. “I think she’s a perfect mix of us, right?”

Lilith couldn’t help but smile again. “Absolutely perfect. Do you want to hold her?”

“Oh, really? You sure you’re ready to hand her over? Just look how small she is, practically the size of my hand! So fragile… I just… well, I…” He chuckled nervously, stammering.

“Honey, you won’t hurt her. It’ll be okay.” She cut off his anxious rambling, attempting to soothe him.

Lucifer looked up at her, slightly furrowing his brows and nodding, attempting to get his nervousness under control. “I’m sorry, you’re right… I guess I’m just…”

“Scared? I understand. You’re not alone in this.” She gave him an empathetic look. “We’ve been practicing for the whole nine months. You got this.”

He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and nodded again. “Thank you, Lili. I’m ready.”

“Don’t forget to unbutton your shirt a bit. Skin-to-skin contact is important for newborns.” She explained.

“Oh, uh, right.” Lucifer muttered and worked on unbuttoning a few top buttons on his shirt. He was significantly dressed down for the whole experience, wearing a long-sleeved plain button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and slacks.

When he was done, he held his arms out, carefully taking the infant in a secure hold as his wife slowly passed her to him. Little Charlotte blinked a couple of times, looking around the room. She had managed to wriggle one of her tiny hands out of the swaddle, still having her little fingers in an instinctive fist.

Lucifer held her close to his heart, hoping she could feel all the overwhelming love coming from the people who loved her most. He smiled, listening to her soft breathing and quiet coos.

“We’re so glad you’re here with us, little one,” he spoke softly, noticing how curious she was, continuing to look around. “Yeah, it’s a big change… all these new sights and senses. But you’re safe here with us. I promise.”

Lilith rested her head against her husband’s shoulder, watching them both lovingly.

Lucifer gently touched her soft, chubby cheeks. His thumb carefully rubbed the adorable little red circles on her face. They were just like the ones on his face.

Charlotte made a little content coo, already heading for the process of babbling. Though it would be a long while to get to that point. She reached her tiny hand out, gripping Lucifer’s finger.

“Wow… she’s way stronger than she looks.” He chuckled softly. “I suppose she takes after her mother.”

Lilith placed her hand on theirs for a moment, not fighting the urge to smile again. “She takes after both of her parents.”

He nodded, feeling tears in his eyes start to well up again. “She’s perfect… thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a father, I mean it.” He looked at Lilith, feeling nothing but pure love.

She smiled and gave him a quick kiss. Next, she kissed her daughter’s head; causing the newborn’s face to scrunch up in surprise for a split second.

Lucifer chuckled at her adorably confused expression. “You okay, Char Char? I guess it’s another new thing to get used to.”

“Char Char?” Lilith repeated, an amused smile showing on her face. “She’s barely hours old and you’ve already come up with a nickname?”

“Ah, well, I guess I couldn’t help myself… she’s just so cute!” He blushed a little from embarrassment.

“Of course she is. Look who her father is.” Lilith teasingly flirted a little. She laughed shortly, seeing how red his face turned.

“Thank you, dear.” Lucifer smiled and looked away for a brief second before looking back down at his daughter, gaining his composure somewhat.

Even though she wasn’t at the age yet to know how to smile, the corner of Charlotte’s mouth pulled up a little, giving the appearance of a smile.

Lucifer rested his face against Lilith’s shoulder for a second. “I don’t know if I have the strength for this Lili.” His voice muffled slightly.

She picked up on why and chuckled quietly. “Why is that?”

“Just—look at her! My heart can’t take how cute she is,” he said in a hushed tone, turning to look at his daughter again.

“I guess you’ll have to get used to it.” She smiled.

“I have no choice.” He sighed, clearly smiling as well.

Charlotte cooed again, and he gently patted her head, feeling the soft golden curls of her hair.

“I can tell she’s getting sleepy again… or maybe hungry… or both.” He furrowed his brows. “I’m going to have to learn all the differences.”

“You’ll get them in time,” she replied.

“Do you want to take her again?” He asked. “I don’t want to hoard all the baby cuddles…”

“If you’re okay with it, and there’s no such thing as hoarding baby cuddles.”

Lucifer scoffed lightheartedly. “Yet.”

He kissed Charlotte’s little red cheeks before handing her back to her mother. He watched her settle back into her mother’s arms, yawning again.

“Oh, you were right about her being hungry… I’m guessing after this she’ll probably fall asleep again,” Lilith spoke, nursing her daughter.

“Sounds about right. That’s the life of a baby, especially one as new as her.”

Eventually, as they had predicted, Charlotte fell asleep. Lucifer listened to her calm breathing again, feeling at peace, which had been hard to come by in his life before.

“We’re parents now,” he stated. “This is our new life…”

“Still feeling glad about it?” Lilith asked.

“I’m overjoyed.” He spoke honestly. “It’s just a lot to take in.”

She nodded. “I’m sure after a bit we’ll settle into our new routine.”

Lucifer looked up at her and smiled, appreciating how wise she was being. What would he do without her?

“I know I sound like a broken record, but I’m so lucky to have you two… I love you both.” He managed to keep his voice steady.

Lilith kissed his cheek. “I feel the same.”

Lucifer hoped he’d be good at this whole father thing. He knew that realistically every parent made mistakes, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t give it his best. And it didn’t change the fact that no matter what, he would love his daughter with everything he had.

“I love you, Charlotte. More than anything.” He thought.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel amazon prime #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel fic #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin charlie #charlie hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lilith #lilith morningstar #lucifer x lilith #baby fic #kid fic #my writing

[autistichalsin]

I think Halsin sees an opportunity to have a child the same way as he sees his romantic life - as a personal joy with responsibilities. He cares about you in game, his voice lines full of "let me help you love, you need healing my heart", "stay with me my love stay strong my love" etc. I'm totally sure he cared about his past lovers with logical range - from shared breakfast, before saying goodbye forever, to guarding them in their travels to the nearest settlement because of course he would. So having a child is a Big Project with Right Person who wants to care about the baby in the same way. With Shadow Curse burden Halsin just couldn't afford this joy. Also, you know what, I think Halsin was TOO GOOD as arch druid. He tried to solve anything what he could, to do something, to be useful. And when he was captured - guess what? Those sheeps found another Real Parent (strict, it that time) who will fix everything and they obeyed immediately. He spoiled them. He served too well and lost himself in their eyes. So, yes, Halsin would be a great father, even over caring and he would fall in a parenthood abyss like gasping fish in water. That's why he couldn't, he just couldn't let himself to have a kid.

Big DITTO to all this.

And it's funny you mention him being too good, because that applies in more than one sense- he's too good, but he's also too GOOD. DND lore is that Druids are forbidden from having any alignment but neutral, seeing both good and evil as necessary parts of the world, for balance. But Halsin is solidly GOOD. He accepts death and chaos as part of the world, yes, but he doesn't allow any amount of suffering. And that's why he drifts from his Druid Circle when he lets the refugees in the Grove. He is quite literally too GOOD to be an archdruid.

In the ending, one of the dialogue options has him saying his role suits him better than Archdruid ever did. And that's why. He wasn't bad at ALL leadership, so much as he was at being leader of a religious order within very narrow moral confines that leave little room for a heart as tender as his.

So with that loving, sweet, nurturing heart of his? He can't be anything BUT an amazing parent.

#halsin

[stargazer-sims]

pointless rambling below the cut...

I accidentally deleted my post from yesterday where I mentioned wanting to retcon timelines to remove child characters because it almost never fails that when I make my OCs have a child, I stop being interested in them. But anyway, maybe having to start over with a new post is good, because it gives me a chance to elaborate and to be in less of a mood about it. I'm still not happy with my writing lately, but that's not entirely connected to the child character issue. That's more of a me problem.

So, first off, let me just say that I'm not opposed to child characters in general, either in my work or in another writer's work. I have no problem "going back in time" and writing my established OCs as children, and I also see the utility of having a child character if their purpose is to advance the plot.

My problem is that when i give my established characters a child or children, it almost invariably feels awkward, burdensome or just plain forced and wrong, either from my perspective as the writer or from the perspective of the character(s) themselves.

That having been said, it's not normal or realistic for people (and characters in a realistic setting) to not have children. At least some characters must have them, because that's what many normal adults do, and it wouldn't be a credible setting if literally no one had kids. Enter the child characters, whether I want them or not.

It's not just the fact of the child characters being children that bothers me either, because even time-skipping to a point where they're teenagers doesn't fix it. Logically, they had to be babies and children at some point, and well-developed parent characters can't reasonably be expected to have no memories or feelings about that.

And it occurred to me that I can't actually retcon anyone's timeline and be comfortable with it. I mean... I could, but that would fundamentally change what I feel is canon (for better or worse) and would completely negate entire stories such as Au Ciel Étoilé and Caroline & Co.

So, I guess what i really get to do is explore the parent characters' feelings of regret, resentment, fear, frustration, loss of individual identity and loss of freedom in the cases where I probably should not have added child characters to the mix. It's not that these characters hate their kids - the majority of them love their kids - but that doesn't take away from the thought that their lives would be vastly different (and in some cases happier and better) without children.

Yuri, for example, should never have been a parent. He doesn't like children and doesn't like being a parent, and even though he's learned to live as a parent and be a good one, there'll always be an undercurrent of resentment there whether he's fully aware of it or not. He and Caroline love each other, but they don't necessarily like each other, and Caroline knows just as well as Yuri does that Victor is the glue holding the two of them together.

I actually feel bad for forcing Yuri into that corner. The experience has made him grow, but it also ruined the image of the future he wanted and pushed a wedge (tiny, but still...) between him and Victor that he's constantly trying to pretend does not exist.

Fox and Takahiro, my "super parents", completely lost their individual identities when they became parents. They absolutely love their kids and find immense joy in parenthood, and definitely should be parents, but for me as their author, they are no longer of much interest to me as characters themselves.

With Au Ciel Étoilé, I feel like almost every character, with the exception of Félix and Davian, are there for the sole purpose of having a child. Even though the premise of the story is weird and kind of science fiction-y, I think the real reason I lost interest in it was because it was basically "have kid, end of story".

I think Caroline is the character I regret the most, honestly. On her own, she's very interesting to me as a character, but I think she would've been equally interesting with different parents. I went back and forth on whether or not to even add her to the same universe as Yuri and Victor, to say nothing of how much I wavered on whether or not to make her their foster child. While I can't deny the bond between Caroline and Victor, I also can't reconcile the idea that it came at a cost to Yuri, who never wanted to be a parent.

It's perfectly in-character for Yuri to agree to foster Caroline even though he wasn't one hundred percent comfortable with it, though. That's kind of his M.O., doing stuff that Victor wants, even if he doesn't necessarily want it himself. It was a difficult adjustment for Yuri to have a kid around, and although he can't imagine his life without Caroline in it at this point, he often wonders what it would've been like if he'd said no in the first place. Of course, this isn't something he feels he could ever say out loud. Like a lot of things, he's just learned to accept and live with it.

Ironically enough, the child character I'm the least put off by is Belle Blanchet, even though she's not all that interesting. Maybe it's because Félix and Davian don't really think of themselves as "parents" in the traditional sense, and have always treated Belle almost like another adult. Belle isn't a psychological or literal burden to them and almost nothing has changed about their lifestyle. They're still the globe-trotting, thrill-seeking party animals they always were, and Belle is more or less along for the ride.

I don't know... There are probably a dozen story ideas in all of this, now that I see it all written out. Ugh...

#sapphire notes

[bluedalahorse]

Young Royals, parenthood, and reproductive autonomy (a meta I guess)

Especially with season 3 approaching, people talk a lot about whether or not Wilhelm will accept or reject the throne. This is often framed in terms of Wilhelm’s love for Simon, as well as his ability to own and express his queer (albeit as of yet unlabeled) identity. We also discuss this in terms of what sort of symbolic leader Wilhelm could be for Sweden.

There’s one question I want to add to the mix, when we consider Wilhelm’s future: to what extent is Wilhelm willing or eager to become a parent someday?

To build upon that a little further: to what extent is parenthood a choice for Wilhelm in a system where he is expected and required to father an heir, and probably a spare as well? What does his reproductive agency look like in that situation?

Now, I don’t want to turn this into a discussion of the reproductive mechanics of the line of succession. I know a lot of folks have speculated ways that can or can’t be addressed, and have talked about issues like surrogacy laws and adoption and whatever else. I also know there’s the possibility of the throne going to some relative or another. I’m not interested in that right now! Instead, I want to focus on the practical and emotional aspects of what it means for Wilhelm to contemplate future parenthood.

So let’s ask some more questions: does Wilhelm actually want children? If so, at roughly what age does he want kids? About how many kids does Wilhelm want? If he wants more than one kid, about how spaced apart does he want to have them? What are his views on how to parent? These are all questions that Wilhelm should have a choice to contemplate on his own, but likely won’t as long as he remains crown prince. The social norms of the monarchy likely dictate that becoming a parent happens at a certain time and pace, in a particular manner. Moreover there’s a certain prescribed way it has to all be presented to the public. Finally, Wilhelm knows that by having a kid while in the role as monarch, he would set that kid up for some of the same things he went through as a child, unless he takes extra care to break and dismantle toxic cycles. His child would be an heir to the throne and certain things would be expected of that child, the way they were of him.

The upshot of all of this is that YR raises questions about Wilhelm’s reproductive autonomy and future in a way we don’t usually get to see for cisgender male characters in teen dramas. (I would also say we get an intimations of this with August and Erik, as well—we’ve seen the way the royal court has exerted their influence over both when it comes to relationships and sexuality.) These kinds of conflicts and dilemmas usually only come up when they involve characters with uteruses. So it’s interesting to see the way that YR plays with this idea of reproductive autonomy, and extends the discussion.

Possibly a take that will bug some of my fellow fans, but I’m going to say it anyway: this is why I think Sara having a potential pregnancy or pregnancy scare could be on theme for season 3. I’m not saying it’s definitely gonna happen. What I am saying is that if it did happen, it would fit in with the show’s themes and dramatic questions as already established and would be more than just “drama.” (Drama in a program classified by its genre as a drama? You don’t say!) Sara would have to contemplate some of the same questions that Wilhelm contemplates about parenthood and parenting, and you could parallel their two arcs quite effectively. 

Now, obviously they would also be in very different situations with different things at stake. Wilhelm’s class situation and reproductive organs are naturally different than Sara’s, so they’re naturally going to experience this parenthood differently. Sara would also have to engage with this question on a bodily level, as she’d be the one carrying a pregnancy to term, and that is a nine month process that takes a lot out on the body even in “healthy” pregnancies. (Pregnancy tends to be tougher for people with autism, too.) Finally, Sara will have to think about her own parents a lot, and what she absorbed from them. What does it mean for Sara to contemplate parenthood when she herself is the child of an abusive relationship?

Now, I want to point out that we’ve also seen YR use this strategy of parallels between characters for exploring other issues. Felice and August both struggle with perfectionism and body image, but that plays out differently for them due to differences in gender, race, and family structure. Simon and Sara grapple with similar questions about relationships and being in love and season 2, but experience that differently due to gender, sexual orientation, and neurotype. Simon and August both struggle with trauma around fathers with drug addiction, that causes them to engage with drugs in unsafe ways (August mostly by using, Simon mostly by dealing), but we know they’ll be seen differently by others because of their class. And so on. Part of what YR does so well is the way it shows how human beings can hold experiences in common, but still be divided in how they experience them based on systems that reinforce a social hierarchy. Paralleling Wilhelm and Sara around dramatic questions of future parenthood and reproductive autonomy could be really illuminating.

While I firmly believe that, if Sara has a pregnancy situation/pregnancy scare, Sara herself should be centered in that particular plotline, we also know such a plotline would likely involve August as the person who donated half the DNA of the fetus in question. Which then throws August’s arc into a suddenly very real and frightening place: he’s in a position where he could perhaps in the most basic sense fulfill the “destiny” ordered of him by the Society and by the machinations of the royal court members who want him as Wilhelm’s backup. (We know what that phone conversation he has with Jan-Olof is really about, and again I remain grossed out.) 

And yes, we also know that August has exercised his capacity to seriously harm others multiple times throughout seasons 1 and 2, and that he is about to be in serious legal trouble for leaking the video. Even without that, what would it mean for him to have to think about these questions of parenthood when he hasn’t fully processed the trauma and grief of losing his own father, or had a chance to heal his fractured relationship with his mother? Whether you come at the horror of August fathering a child from the angle of August as someone who has relentlessly hurt others, or from the angle of August as someone with deep, parent-related pain of his own and minimal support to navigate that pain, I think ultimately what we’re being shown here is the ruthlessness of monarchy as it relies on reproduction to keep itself going. Does it matter that an heir to the throne is loved and celebrated for who they are and given therapy for their trauma, as long as the heir exists, reaches adulthood, and one day produces another heir?

Which then opens up another question that I think once again applies to Wilhelm, and maybe Sara as well. If having children is a way to maintain and preserve status for the upper classes, what does that mean for Wilhelm? Can Wilhelm believe his mother loves him, if having children is more a mandate for someone in her position than a choice? This may be a question Wilhelm has to sit with, and it’s possibly something Kristina needs to sit with too. Has Kristina ever considered Wilhelm a loving choice she’s making, rather than a destiny? I think this would be a great opportunity to explore Kristina as a person, and not just as a royal or a mother.

Meanwhile, having children is expensive and consumes time and energy, and someone who is working class and autistic like Sara is going to have fewer resources to deal with this situation. Luckily, as someone who lives in Sweden, she has safe and reliable access to abortion (glaring at my own horrendous country here) which I imagine will be the option she would end up choosing in that kind of plotline. But that doesn’t mean she won’t have to stress over her situation or face gossip or even negative press attention because of it. Not to mention the way Sara’s own conscience may weigh on her, if she’s pregnant with the child of someone who harmed her brother, her (ex?) best friend, and other people so dramatically? Is there a part of her that would kind of want the child anyway, perhaps in another circumstance? What would it mean, to want that child? This sounds like something Sara and Linda could discuss, and maybe come to understand one another on.

Lisa once said one of the dramatic questions of Young Royals was whether or not people become their parents. If we are going to engage with that question, one way to raise the stakes around it is to make the question of parenthood and reproductive autonomy more real and urgent. Again, I’m not saying this will happen. This is not a season 3 prediction post. But I do think if it did happen, it would be in line with what we’ve seen from the series and its exploration of families and privilege.

#young royals #my meta #wilhelm young royals #sara eriksson #august young royals #pregnancy mention #abuse mention #reproductive autonomy in fiction #these ideas have been brewing for a while and I’ve yelled to heliza about them a lot #thank you for reading and being willing to think about this for those of you who read!

[queerfables]

So following this extremely silly conversation about Maggie being Crowley and Aziraphale's secret love child, @azfellandco and I got to talking about what having children, as a hypothetical concept, would actually mean to Crowley and Aziraphale.

We both agreed that we had very tender feelings about the generalised concept of Crowley and Aziraphale raising Warlock together, but that it was hard to imagine them actually wanting to parents. It's not something they relate to or feel they're missing out on. But like, maybe sometimes they wonder.

I'm posting this conversation with Mir's permission because I felt like we covered some really interesting ground.

@azfellandco: They've had every other human experience together and they have forever to keep having them, but part of the appeal of the raising warlock together subplot to me is that suddenly they both Don't have forever to be with each other and Also they're presented with this child that isn't theirs but (they think) isn't really Earth's either and it's like, what if. What if this Is the end, despite all their work, and what if they never got to have this? Sort of preemptive grief, I guess.

@queerfables: Oh yes, that's such a good way to put it!

I feel very strongly that having kids would Not Be For Them, and that whatever needs they have that might be filled by kids, they meet in other ways. I think there's a lot of crossover with the way they aid humans where they can, for one.

But I can ABSOLUTELY imagine them like. Thinking about it. And the world is coming to an end and they still can't tell each other even a fraction of the things they really want to. But they can have this. Not really theirs, but not really not. The way the world and humanity always was, I think.

@azfellandco: "Not really theirs but not really not, the way the world and humanity always was." Yeah, exactly this.

@queerfables: I definitely think we've hit on something there.

@azfellandco: It's also about like. The way in which the inability to do this preempts the ways in which it would be merely inadvisable. They can't have a serious talk about whether they would be good parents because it's impossible for them to have a child (by circumstances, by their roles in the war, by the oncoming apocalypse, by biology as far as they're aware). So what would be the point?

But the impossibility is also a source of grief. That they'll never have the conversation is a source of grief. And because they can't talk about it seriously, it never gets grounded in anything real. It's something they think about while knowing that the way they think about it is superficial and would dissolve in reality. And so it becomes a stand-in for the way they think about their relationship pre-armageddon, too. They'll never have an opportunity to test it to see if it would work. It remains ephemeral, something to fantasize about. But god, sometimes they want to Know.

@queerfables: Oof.

I think there's something there as well about like. Hmm. They can't love and care for a child the way a human would because they are not human. And yet even asking the question about this is SO human. There's just, there's no concept of parenthood for angels and demons. There's no concept of childhood (although there is perhaps a concept of innocence, and loss of innocence). So where does that put them, if they wanted to raise a child? Like you said, it's ephemeral and impossible.

What sort of child could they raise? There are no children among immortals. Would they raise a human, who might need things they can't give and who is going to live and grow old and die while they're still just - moving through the world the way they always have? The idea of never having a child is, for them, a phantom grief that's largely grounded in their fear of losing the world and each other and all the experiences they could have had. But to actually love a child they'll inevitably lose again, because there's just no alternative for two immortals raising a human, would open them up to real, tangible grief on a scale neither of them has ever truly imagined.

This is why, I guess, Warlock is such a perfect case for them to try it, to have something of what it's like. Because if their plan doesn't work (and maybe there's a part of them that never really thought it would, even though they hope with everything they have) then at least they won't have to live with grief of losing him, really, because they'll be losing everything including very likely their own lives.

@azfellandco: Yes yes yes to all of this, absolutely. And I think in growing to care for Warlock and think of him as theirs, there is this sense of like. Well, what do they want to be true? Do they want the world to go on, and them with it, and inevitably this little family they're playing at having will be something they have to reconcile with the reality of immortal existence? Or do they want (or at least expect) this to be a desperate, futile effort and that the world IS going to end? In a way, growing to love Warlock is the same kind of hiding in a story that Aziraphale's Jane Austen ball is, I think.

@queerfables: YES. I totally agree with you. And that's why I think they would never try to find Warlock again, after the world didn't end. None of it was really real, and it would hurt to be faced with that.

#good omens #good omens meta #fable talks good omens

[yellowkitkieran]

To Have and To Heal (Part 6)

Masterlist

Read part 1 here

Word Count: 3.3k

Summary: Single working dad Martin Odegaard is navigating the ups and downs of parenthood all on his own, and he’s struggling. That’s not to mention football, life and... love?

Martin Ødegaard is late.

Being a teacher, tardiness isn't something you normally tolerate. But when the offender is a tall, fit, blonde, Norwegian man that you have a massive crush on, you guess you can grant him a pass. 

You fiddle with the hem of your glittery gold dress, absently wondering if it's too much. You stared at it on the mannequin in the Chanel window display for what felt like hours before you decided you had to have it. You rationalized your outrageous purchase by saying it was a birthday present to yourself, ignoring the fact that you'd bought a pair of boots and said the same thing the week prior. Looking your best tonight was a non negotiable, and as soon as you tried the dress on you knew you had to have it.

Did you nearly drain your savings to afford it? Yes. Do you care? Not really, when you're positive Martin might lose his head at the sight of you in it.

The gold, half-sheer fabric hugs your body in all the right places. The fitted sleeves stop an inch above your wrist, allowing you to showcase the thin gold tennis bracelet passed down by your mum a few years back. The dress falls to your mid thigh, showing plenty of skin whilst also not causing a scandal among your colleagues. The metallic threads woven throughout catch in the club lights, attracting attention from all corners of the room but not from the man you crave most, because he's still to arrive. 

Half heartedly, you wonder if he's forgotten. Or perhaps the lads invited him out at the last minute and Martin decided that a night drinking with his friends sounded more appealing than hanging around at a teacher’s birthday party. 

Jen presses a drink into your hand, confident as ever in her fitted blue party dress. No matter where you are, she is usually the star of the show, but today you’re somewhat glad she’s turned it down a notch. "Quit staring at the door, live a little. He'll show up and if he doesn't, well then guess what! I'll help you find someone to forget about him." Jen touches your elbow, guiding the glass in your hand to your lips. "Drink! Have fun! Let loose and live for once in your life!"

Without a second thought, you down your drink amidst cheers from your friends, slamming the glass to the table when you've finished it. You make eye contact with Martin when you do, who's just walked in the door looking devilishly handsome as always. 

Martin's blonde hair is perfectly messy, one little strand sticking straight up like he'd nervously fiddled with it outside. He wears a red and black flannel unbuttoned over a plain black shirt, and a pair of skinny jeans that his muscular thighs look set to rip out of at any second. Even his shoes are modest, a simple pair of white high top converse. The only thing about him that screams money is the silver watch on his wrist; without it he may as well be an average London boy out for a night of fun. 

Somehow, he's even more gorgeous dressed like this than when he's wearing all designer or an Arsenal tracksuit. You love his modest appearance, like he'd chosen each piece with you in mind, to ensure he did everything he could to keep the spotlight off himself and firmly on you. It's sweet, as is the way he grins when you wave to him. 

Martin comes over and places a book sized box on the table before stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Happy birthday, Sunshine,” he says, the greeting rolling off his tongue as easily as a plain hello. “Sorry I’m late.”

"Thanks," you squeak out, then clear your throat. You're determined to get through this night without embarrassing yourself, so you try a touch of banter and say, "I was beginning to worry you forgot about little old me! Party started at eight and it's now… nearly nine, Mar!"

"Ah yes, sorry I know,” Martin apologizes, and you swear a bit of pink finds it’s way to color his cheeks. “It's just that Atla wouldn't let me leave and I wound up having to bribe her with a new set of paints I had been saving for her birthday to convince her to stop clinging to my leg like a little animal." 

Oh God, how selfish of you! Of course Atla wouldn't want her dad to leave her, especially when she isn't used to him going out except for matches, when he'd be gone for days at a time. It’s perfectly reasonable to assume that he wouldn’t want to leave until he knew Atla was settled. 

"Right, I'm sorry! Of course that's why you're late, I shouldn't have assumed. That’s adorable though, that she loves her daddy so much that she couldn’t stand the thought of you leaving!"

Martin waves a hand, his voice like silk as he says, "Ah please it's alright. I should've messaged you or something. Though I would've had to email you through your school account, which you probably wouldn't have seen anyway, I doubt you check that on nights out."

Maybe it's the fact that you've already had enough to drink that you're feeling slightly buzzed, or maybe it's simply your new confidence in this dress, but you hold out your phone to Martin, a blank contact on the screen. "Put your number in then! I'll message you and you'll have it in the future then."

Looking slightly stunned, Martin takes your phone and types in his number before handing it back. "There you go- this is for you by the way, Sunshine," he says and nods towards the box he brought, a timid smile on his pale lips. 

You run your fingers over the red wrapping paper and fiddle with the loops of the bow in the center. "You can call me by my first name, you know, Martin. I thought we were friends and all that?" 

"Ah, but I like Sunshine better… how about if I call you solskinn instead? Would that be acceptable?" 

This man… you swear he knows exactly how to make you fall head over heels. It doesn't seem like he even realizes what he's doing which is the most mind blowing part- how can someone not realize the effect they have on another person? 

You smile when you realize Martin is waiting patiently for an answer and stutter out, "um- yeah, yes that's fine Mar… I'm gonna wager a guess that it's just Sunshine in Norwegian?" When Martin nods, you feel heat creeping up your cheeks, desperately willing them to not burn too brightly. "Yeah, I like that then Martin, you can call me that."

"Good, because it goes with the gift I got you. Go ahead and open it! I'm excited to see if you like it." Martin shifts a foot closer to you until he's inches away. You aren't sure if you're imagining the heat radiating from him or if it's truly there, either way you don't care. When you turn your head to look up at him before you rip off the paper, you have to crane your neck to see his pretty smile and the impatient glint in his eye. His beauty stuns you for a moment, the alcohol in your veins inhibiting your good sense and whispering that it’s a perfectly fine idea for you to stare at him a touch longer than you probably should. 

Jen's sharp elbow to your side brings you back to reality as your best friend saves you for the first time that night. You smile awkwardly at Martin then tear into his gift, gasping when you see the brand embossed in the white box.

"Chanel? Martin what did you do?! I can't accept this-" without opening the lid, you try shoving it towards Martin. Whatever it is, you know it isn't cheap. Martin shouldn't be dropping hundreds of pounds on you when he has Atla at home. 

"Honestly solskinn please, just open it," he murmurs, sliding it towards you again. His hand finds a place between your shoulder blades as he leans in to be heard over the music, "It's customized so I am not allowed to return it anyway. Trust me I can afford it! Please just open it and see. If you truly hate it, I'll pawn it off to one of the lads' girlfriends or something."

Ah, right. It can't be anything too personal then. Hopefully it's something small, though knowing Martin and that look on his face, it's the exact opposite. Taking a deep breath, you place one hand on either side of the box and bring it in front of you. You aren’t sure why you’re so nervous to see what he’s picked out, but something tells you that everything is about to change. 

You pull at the lid, wiggling it free. You're acutely aware of Jen's eyes burrowing into your skull as you peel back the white tissue paper, Martin's hand burning a brand into your skin through the material of your dress. "I hope you like it," he murmurs as you pull out a small, white leather crossbody bag with a tiny sun emblazoned above the clasp. You run your fingers over the gold chain strap and the embossed decoration, not having any idea what to say.

Martin fiddles nervously on your left. Your back suddenly grows cold when he removes his hand, raking his fingers through his hair instead. You're stuck staring at his gift, awestruck by the thought he's put into it as much as its price tag. 

"Uhh… do you like it? If you don't just tell me-"

"I love it," you interrupt, eyes wide when you turn to him. "Honestly Martin it's perfect- thank you so much!"

Without thinking, you throw your arms around Martin's neck for a bone crushing hug. Every muscle in his body goes rigid for a split second, like he's warring with himself. Then his arms engulf you and you nearly sigh when you’re slotted into the perfect fit of his embrace. He's warm and soft in all the right places. Calm- that's how you feel in the moment, as if a hug from Martin is all you needed to erase your frantic thoughts and worries. 

"You're welcome," he says into your hair, so quietly that you nearly miss it. You want to cling to him for the entire night, but you force yourself to release him after a few more precious seconds. 

“I really do love it, Mar. It’s such a thoughtful gift.” You allow yourself to touch your fingers to the back of his hand, trying to encourage him to let loose and be himself. 

“I was worried you wouldn’t, I thought maybe it was a bit too much. I wasn’t sure on the color either, I had no idea there was so many choices for things!” You laugh, imagining Martin looking like a lost child in the store until someone took pity and offered him help. “The salesperson was really helpful though, she said white was classic and that you’d probably like gold cause most people choose that with this bag and… and I’ve gone off on a tangent, haven’t I?”

You tip your head to the side, studying Martin as you say, “have you? I didn’t really notice to be honest. I don’t mind listening to you chat. Really, I’m a good listener, I’m used to toddlers telling me the most mundane details.”

“Ha- yeah I suppose that must be true, Atla always wants to tell me every little detail on our way home, right down to what colors she painted the trees with in art that day.” When Martin speaks about his daughter, his entire face lights up. You can tell how much he cares for her, how immense his pride is for his little art prodigy. 

If you had it your way, you'd stay here chatting to Martin all night. You have books full of questions to ask him, things you want to know about his life, his passions, his family, his culture… but your friends apparently have other plans. 

"Haaaapy biiiirthday to you!" 

You internally groan, spinning on your heel and being greeted with a round cake overflowing with candles. 

"Haaapy birthdaaaay to youu!"

Jen grins, stepping into your personal space and forcing you back a step, causing you to knock into Martin to avoid getting a face full of burning birthday cake. Martin's hand shoots out to your waist, steadying you. You're focused entirely on his touch whilst your friends finish their song. It takes an enormous amount of willpower to pay attention and keep a grin plastered on your face to cover the way Martin's hand makes you want to scream. It doesn't move until you lean forward to blow out the candles and everyone claps, Jen giving you a look that tells you she's set her master plan into motion. 

After you've cut and divided out the cake, you finally find your way over to Martin. He stands mostly alone, for once flying under the radar in an establishment full of uni students and young adults that couldn't care less about a football player amongst them. He leans with one arm on a high table whilst he chats to one of the people you'd invited. Martin does a double take as you approach, swaying your hips slightly while he quickly wraps up his conversation. 

"Do you want any cake? Or does your strict diet not allow for any fun, sugary foods?"

Martin laughs, a musical, magic sound that you instantly want to bottle so you can hear it whenever you please. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I'm not allowed to have any cake tonight. I am about to get a drink though, would you like anything?" 

"Mmm, seems a bit backwards if you ask me, but alright I'll buy it. I'll have whatever you're having? And I'll come with you." You add the lastbit on impulse, glad you did when Martin's face lights up. 

You follow Martin through the crowd, grabbing his flannel at one point to avoid being separated in the sea of people. Martin slows his pace when he realizes you're struggling, then reaches a hand towards you for you to take. 

Time seems to slow to the point of molasses around you when your hand slots into his. You swear a jolt of electricity sings through you when your palm slides against his calloused one, fitting perfectly together like a matched pair. He guides you through the crowd with ease, like this somehow isn’t giving him the same butterflies as it’s giving you. 

Is Martin doing this on purpose? Does he realize the effect he has on you, or is it simply a coincidence that everything he's doing tonight sets your heart on fire? You don't care either way, you just pray it's not a one time thing. 

Martin hesitates at the bar and you get the feeling he doesn't want to let go. You open your mouth to tell him he doesn't have to but you're far too slow, and he drops your hand before you can get a word out. A stone of disappointment settles in your gut as you fold your empty hands in front of you. 

Martin orders two of a drink you've not heard of before. Whatever it is seems fancy because it takes ages, which you're very aware of thanks to the silence that stretches between you. Martin's mood has changed in the time it's taken to get from the table to the bar and you have no idea why. You hate it, you want the Martin from five minutes ago. You want the Martin that hugged you and was soft as downy clouds, not this steely, closed off version of him.

When the drinks come, Martin slides one your way and says, “If you don’t like it, I can get you something else.” Fruity bursts cover the slight burn of alcohol when you take a sip. The drink goes down easy, and before you realize it you’ve finished half. You grin, setting your glass on the bar. 

“It’s good! I like it, you’ll have to tell me what it is so I can order it more often. Although I have to admit, I took you for a straight whisky kinda guy.” Your shoulder bumps Martin’s in an attempt to loosen him up. It works at least slightly; some of the tension drains from him. That light you love dances in his eyes again, the blue of his irises even brighter somehow.

Hold on- love? No, no. You don’t love anything about Martin… You can’t, he’s your student’s father, but… what an amazing father he is. You’ve not met a man like Martin, who balances such a demanding job with being the perfect father. Atla loves him so much and you would have to be blind not to see how much he loves her as well. His world revolves around his blue eyed, blonde haired, outgoing little girl. 

And that is precisely why you’re falling for him. It isn’t slow anymore. It’s more like a plane crash, sending you into a helpless, tumbling free fall that has you toppling arse over teakettle. There’s no denying it anymore. You may as well admit it. 

Taking a deep breath, you gather every bit of courage you possess. “Martin- can I ask you something?”

Your heart hammers in your chest. Your thoughts are treason. You don’t care. You’ll pay whatever price the universe demands to know the answer to the question that has been plaguing you for ages. 

Martin glances over at you, runs a strong hand through his hair. He cheats his body towards you, elbow bent as he leans on the bar and says, “um, yeah sure. What is it?”

You barrel ahead before you can change your mind. “I just- would you wanna go out some time? Like, as… as maybe more than friends?”

At first, Martin looks like he might laugh, as if he thinks you’re joking. His cute little dimples come out to play for only a second. Then his expression morphs into disbelief, then something almost like disgust as it dawns on him that you’re completely serious. 

You hate yourself. You hate him. No, you don’t. You just wish you could erase your words, pull them back and keep them locked up deep inside your heart where they belong. You’ve let yourself be vulnerable for the first time in as long as you can remember, and now that decision will haunt you. 

“I’m sorry but I can’t do that,” Martin says, taking a step back, one hand pressed hard to the center of his chest. “Sorry but I- I have to go.”

“What?” Your stomach sinks to your feet. Fuck, you’ve really messed it all up. “Martin, wait, you don’t have to go.” Your hand shoots out for his wrist, but the second your fingers brush his skin, he jerks his arm away like you’ve shocked him. “Martin I’m sorry, just forget I said anything. I’m half drunk and I don’t have a filter.”

Your world crumbles at your feet as Martin shakes his head. He’s like a spooked animal, set to flee thanks to your admission. “I have to go,” he repeats, before turning on his heel and making a beeline for the door. He leaves you at the bar, shellshocked and alone, trying to process what’s just happened.

Why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut?

#martin odegaard #martin odegaard fic #martin odegaard fanfic #martin odegaard imagine #martin odegaard fantasy #arsenal fc #jac writes #alt timeline lover

[todderwodders]

For the Director's Cut asks.... talk to me about "The Push, the Grind, and the Metal Mind"? I'm so interested to hear more of your thoughts around the story and about how both these characters are navigating their feelings around parenthood (and being a child, considering some of Gortash's ideas for experiments).

So a lot of the content for this story was actually meant to be kept for much, much later. Originally was just going to be a short and sweet breastfeeding kink fic, and then it blew up and I kind of had to reconcile with the fact that we are getting Enver's point of view regarding a life choice (having children) that will greatly affect the trajectory of later parts of the narrative much earlier than I initially planned, wanted, or anticipated. So it serves as a very strange non linear introduction of what I have planned for Faline and Gortash, and you get to see a lot of my favorite parts about Gortash in this fic alone: he's cunning, he's smart, he can't turn his brain off, he's also very good at selling a certain image to himself, even to himself.

He glosses over a lot in this. He files down the edges and only really lets the truly ugly shit crop up because he does not see it as unacceptable. He does more than one would assume he would with a kid, he is patient with Faline, but ... let's just say that Faline's version of events leading up to what we actually see happening on the page is very different than what he wants to think is going on.

Which I guess leads me to Faline. By the time she becomes pregnant with her first child, she is beginning to suspect that her mother doesn't love her all that much, and in general, she hasn't been all that well loved by anyone. She can't even decide if it is wise (or possible) to love Enver as much as she does, and routinely makes plans to leave him even as she given more genuine companionship through this marriage than at any other point in her life. She essentislly lives in this back and fourth of being aware of her own feelings, thinking she's an idiot for loving someone who is so remorselessly a monster who could and would assuredly remove her from his life without a second thought, and knowing it's a mistake to get even closer to him, to obligate herself to him further, and then doing it anyways. Her dread at her own inability to just cut herself off from her own emotions compounds her anxiety over having a child with this man. Is she simply repeating a cycle? Is this cruel of her? Is it selfish? Is he going to hurt it? Is he going to hurt her the minute she can't physically or mentally keep up with him? That last bit is a real concern as she progresses through her pregnancy. She enjoys parts of it, but largely lives with the anxiety of her choice to bring a life into a world she doesn't have any real power over. It doesn't matter what happens to her, if she dies it's her fault - if her children suffer, it's a choice she made for them, she's doomed them to unhappinesss.

Faline always wanted to be a mother but was essentially told that that was not a life path she was going to have until much later in life, and for her own political gain, not for choice or even in agreement with a spouse or lover, but simply another commodity to provide: an heir of mysterious origins who might take a title or estate to a lord or patriar with no other options. Now she is going to be a mother, and she loves this child very much - but she knows his father.

In a sense, her becoming aware of just how easily Gortash could destroy her world via this child also opens up her future awareness of how his constant mind games aren't just character flaws, but distinctly not capable of in the long term. This is a kind of leverage that no one had ever had on before - something she genuinely cares for and is tasked with the duty and honor of raising right and well, of protecting. She's a mother now, and by becoming a parent her world changes for all the reasons listed above and so much more.

Faline desperately does not want to be like her own relations, but also doesn't know how to be a parent - she is young and overwhelmed on a lot of fronts, but simultaneously cannot regret her choice. Karmine is effectively the first person she's truly willing to sacrifice everything (and live afterwards) for, and makes Faline question her world and the people she surrounds herself with. She doesn't expect Gortash to be as patient as he is, but there's still much uncertainty over when that will run out. If he'll get bored with the novelty of a child, if he'll not want her anymore and therefore part of her control and power over him will wane with it, and how can she compensate for that loss? What's the next move?

This is getting too long and we're not even to Gort yet, but the last thing I will say is that Faline fully thought she was going to die during her labor. It was a long three days filled with a lot of stalled phases of labor, in the dead of winter during a snow storm, and ended with her losing way too much blood - which seems less like a concern to modern sensibilities when reading about a world with healing magic, but a lot can go wrong very quickly in labor and a lot did go wrong for Faline. So there's the (and I'm using the term wrong here because it's literal meaning is a good summary of action) trauma bond between Karmine and Faline that is also making all of these feelings even more intense.

Next up is Enver, who is more straight forward in the sense that his feelings about parenthood stem from the past, not the present. His having issues regarding his mother are nothing new to parse over, but as I mentioned previously in this post, the way in which these issues manifest are varied. He goes from not caring for the child (routinely refers to Karmine as an 'imp' whenever Faline's pregnancy impedes on his plans and fully intending on killing him to spare her if it came down to it) at all to becoming rapidly attached to him. More than that, having a child makes Enver wonder what was wrong with him, subconsciously. Every snide aside from his mother, every sniveling little quips from Raphael comes back to haunt him in strange, veiled ways. His lack of hostility towards his own offspring alienates him, his inability to separate himself from this child makes him question things in the general sense so he doesn't have to confront that there may have been something wrong with him. Enver finds himself planning extensive experiments to understand, to distance, and to redirect this strange impotent rage he feels at his own childhood, his own child, and the woman who did this to him. And then it all simmers down to a fine soup of day to day contentment. Freak.

Anyhow they're being real normie about it. Real niceys. Heart.

#faltash #bg3 #enver gortash #Faline #pregnancy #parenthood #ask game

[minimitchell]

okay so this isn’t enough to turn this into a full-blown fic but i was so floored by ben actually seeking help for his ed that my head decided to imagine this and i thought i’d just share it with you.

tw disordered eating

.

“Ben, there’s a letter for you.”

Callum is sifting through the stack of papers in his hands, scanning each one over to decide whether he should bin it or open it. They’re not great at sorting through their mail, none of them are, it mostly gets tossed onto the counter in the kitchen to be dealt with later. 

Their bills are automated, as are any other important payments, so there’s no real reason to go through them every day. One of them only ever decides to look through them when the stack on the counter reaches an unacceptable height.

Callum already threw away three advertisements for different home furniture stores and pinned a takeout brochure for that new Greek place on High Street onto the cork board above the sink when he stumbled over the letter addressed to his husband.

Ben is in the bathroom sticking on another load of washing. Lexi managed to cover the only clean uniform skirt she had left in ketchup so an additional round of laundry has to be done. The joys of parenthood. Callum on the other hand decided to tackle the state their kitchen was in so he and Ben could have some guilt-free alone time before Jay fetches Lexi from Honey and Billy’s after work.

“What is it?”

Normally, Callum would have no qualms about opening the letter, they’re married and there’s nothing the other couldn’t or shouldn't know about, but the letter comes from Ben’s therapy place so he doesn’t want to open it for him right now.

Ben crosses the landing into the kitchen, coming to a stop next to Callum. For a moment he leans into Callum’s side; head resting against his husband's biceps. Callum tilts the letter towards him so he can see the sender, glancing at Ben to gage his reaction.

He doesn’t exactly look surprised but he also doesn’t look too enthused about whatever could be hiding inside it. Callum doesn’t want to pry, he wants to give Ben space and privacy, but Ben isn’t moving away from him too far, staying molded against him while he opens the letter. So Callum takes it as permission to discover the contents together with Ben.

His eyes jump ahead over the greetings and well wishes down to the main block of text; to the harsh black letters against the white of the paper. He reads the words ‘opening’,  ‘counseling’ and ‘disordered eating professional’ but his brain is refusing to really take it all in. Ben hasn’t told him he asked for individual counseling. All of this is news to him.

Big news. 

“Individual counseling?”

“I didn’t think they’d refer me so soon.”

Ben sounds far away, staring at the words and seemingly reading them over and over again. As if they’re just a cruel joke and will twist into a let down if he takes his eyes off them for just a second.

He’s deep in thought for another long moment before he looks up at Callum from beside him and his expression makes Callum pause.

There’s a slight film of tears gathering at the base of Ben’s eyes but there’s no sadness in his gaze. He looks more overwhelmed, almost a bit hopeful, and Callum is once again overcome with the onslaught of pride he feels for Ben for the umpteenth time in the last few weeks. 

“You didn’t tell me you spoke about your bulimia.”

“There was this guy in group the other day. He spoke about how he went through the same, he also made himself sick. But it got really bad so he got help and he’s mostly over that now and he feels so much better. And then they explained that it’s pretty common to develop bulimia and stuff. I guess I just wanted to be like him. Better. So I asked Molly about it.”

Callum is following Ben’s explanation with rapt attention, taking in every carefully chosen word. This is a big deal for Ben; he’s acutely aware of that. A few weeks ago Ben confessed to him that he doesn’t know whether he can even beat this and now he has taken all the courage he has to take the first step in beating it. 

He reached out and he sought help, again, and Callum couldn’t be more aware of the feat that is for someone like Ben. 

“That’s amazing, babe.”

“She said they’ll let me know when someone’s available. It says here I just need to call and make an appointment.”

Callum reaches his arm around Ben’s shoulder to pull him tightly against his body again, letting Ben tuck his head into the crook of Callum’s neck. 

“I’m proud of you, you know. For seeking help, for telling Jay. I know how hard that is for you. You’re doing well.”

Ben sets the letter down on the counter where it originally came from and wraps his now empty hands around Callum’s middle, crossing them over Callum’s back and holding on tight. Callum’s own hand wanders to Ben’s back; up and down, rubbing soothing circles over Ben’s shirt.

He still has a long way to go and there will be a lot of ups and downs along the way, they both know that. But for now, Callum silently celebrates another huge step Ben has taken.

They’ll worry about the pressing matters later - about actually making the appointment, about hanging up the washing when their rack is still full of wet clothes from the other wash, about lunches that need to be packed and the shirts that need to be ironed.

This moment is for them. For Ben.

#ballum #ballum fic #my writing #idk guys ben just made such a huge step and it was told to us so casually. i just needed more #maybe you do too

[doberbutts]

When it comes to DV, and a celebrity who has a history of it, I'm not necessarily going to believe the "well his wives have defended him" thing. Like, I don't want to take agency away from abuse surviors, but also, for a long time, I would have defended my horribly abusive ex who would lock me into rooms, pin me down while I begged to be let up, and sexually abused me. I accepted that the relationship was abusive within six months of leaving (Thank you planned Parenthood youth outreach programs), but it took me years to admit the sexual abuse, even to myself. Abuse is complex. Not all people who were abused realize it or want to admit it.

(Plus just because someone didn't abuse their spouse doesn't mean they didn't abuse others. Abusers can figure out what they can and can't get away with, and adjust accordingly, whether it's by who they target or when they abuse, like in public or waiting until they're behind closed doors.)

Yuuuuuuup. Hey I'm gunna listen to the guy who says "I wasn't a good person, I beat the shit out of the women in my life" and believe him when he says he was a monster who did bad things. Maybe he did not die a monster. But he did live as one, and DV makes it very hard to figure out exactly when the monster was finally caged.

Sharon Osbourne stayed with Ozzy and says he's wonderful and that she loves him. It is a fact that he tried to kill her. Not rumor. Not myth. Fact. They both have described the incident. He may say that he's a changed man and maybe he is. But only monsters try to kill their spouses. Whether he is currently a monster, or whether the monster has been locked away, that does not take away from the fact that he was once a monster.

It is a fact that Rihanna has forgiven Brown for what he did to her, despite the fact that he continues to reoffend with other women. She is pictured laughing and smiling and hanging out with him on a regular basis. This is common for DV survivors to get back in touch with their abusive ex, and it's also common for them to defend their actions even when the actions are truly indefensible.

So... yeah, no, sorry, my statement of "John Lennon was a monster and Beatles fans still listen to him" still stands. We do not know exactly when Lennon stopped hitting women. He cheated on his wives so it's possible the women he's talking about hitting are not the ones he ended up marrying. And while Lennon voiced regret for these actions near the time of his death, well, considering Osbourne and Brown are still alive and not murdered-to-death. But he also said he could not yet fully face or admit to the deeds of his past, that he had to be physically restrained because he almost killed someone he considered a friend in a fit of anger (the person called him gay), and he terrorized his son from his first marriage. That tells me the man was a monster for more of his life than "the one time", just like Brown, just like Osbourne.

But he sang about peace and people love the Beatles so it's fine I guess.

[chicken-fifi]

Kwak Dongyeon A-Z | SFW

Pairing: Kwak Dongyeon x Reader

Requested by @blossombreezes: Hello 🤗 can I pls request a-z alphabet for Lee dongwook and kwak dongyeon? Thank you ❤️

A/n: watching Pachinko as i write this so it may have a mellow vibe....maybe.

A - Attractive: What do they find attractive about each other?

Dongyeon is most attracted to your state of mind. Something about the way you think and just come up with the most unthinkable things is incredibly sexy. You are attracted to his humor. He’s got a very funny side and it never fails to make you laugh.

B - Baby: Do they want a family?

One day, you’re both still fairly young and he doesn’t want either of you to rush into a relationship without feeling ready and prepared for the next steps. As much joy as parenthood can bring, he wants it to be joyful for the two of you at the same time.

C - Comfort: How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Very verbal. He’s talking to you calmly and softly the entire time, trying to reassure you that everything will work itself out, to not stress so much and allow him to bear the weight with you.

D - Dates: What are dates with him like?

Fun and funny. I know this man is going to take you to some of the most exquisite places you could ever think of. But there are also some very low key and chill dates that allow the two of you to be relaxed and comfortable.

E - Equal: Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He’s not passive so to speak, but he does allow you to take control and lead most things. He loves seeing you in control, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t take control here and there.

F - Feelings: When did they know they were in love?

He most likely realized when he was in the midst of a shoot and just couldn’t stop thinking about getting back home to see you after so long. It was normal for him to not miss anyone like that, but with you it was different. Very different. For you, you realized when you found yourself constantly thinking about him when you were doing the most mundane things. There was always something that would remind you of him around you.

G - Gratitude: How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s very well aware and does just as much as you do for him for you, or at least he tries to when he has the time. There’s not a day that goes by where he doesn’t say thank you accompanied with a warm hug and sweet kiss.

H - Honesty: Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

I don’t look at him and think secretive, but I do think that there are some things he just keeps to himself, but with most things he’ll flat out tell you and not have a second thought about doing so.

I - Inspiration: Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

He’s certainly been motivated to take things in stride and enjoy the little things. While planning ahead is nice, you’ve taught that living in the moment is so much better, especially if done with the one you love.

J - Jealousy: Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Yes and no. I feel like he would go through phases if that makes sense. Like early one in any stage of the relationship he’d have periods where he’d be  more jealous than normal and then cool off. I guess it’s more of he doesn’t know how you would react to him early on or when things get more serious.

K - Kiss: Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Just like every other entry in these headcanons. Yes. Yes he is. The first kiss is so innocent and unsure, which I think is probably the most like teenagers kissing for the first time when compared to every other headcanons I’ve written here.

L - Love Confession: How would they confess to their s/o?

Stuttering his way through the confession but he makes it. It takes a hot minute for him to work up the courage because he doesn’t want to scare you off, but in the end he just pulls you aside, a hot mess himself as he tells you. Although he does start over like 50,000 times before finishing.

M - Marriage: Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

100% yes. Marriage is the end goal for him, personally. It may not happen soon, but he does want it to happen at some point. I see him as more of a provider in a marriage. Dating he’s very passive and such, but as a husband? Boy, oh, boy have you scored something else. He’s got more dominance here, in a good way. Much more active and communication is on fire.

N - Nicknames: What do they call their s/o?

Him: Cutie Cute (i just watched Ashfall, give me a break), Baby, Babe, Sugar

You: Yeon, Baby, Donggie, Yeonie

O - On Cloud Nine: What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

I’d say it’s pretty obvious to those who know him very well, but it can easily be overlooked by those who don’t as just his normal self. He’s just so smiley and giggles all the time, but more than usual. With you he’s very physically affectionate. Lots of hugs and kisses from him on the reg.

P - PDA: Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Kinda sorta but not really. He doesn't hide it, but he doesn’t draw attention to it either. You may get a peck in public here and there, but you will always have a hand on you either you hold your hand, waist, over your shoulder, at the small of your back, somewhere.

Q - Quirks: Something you do that he loves

You tend to run your fingers through your hair when frustrated and seeing that in combination with the cute pout on your lips? Golden.

R - Romance: How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Cliche romantic, but has many creative moments. He really thinks about how happy something will make you before carrying it out. If he thinks it’ll have you smiling like crazy, he’ll do it no matter how time consuming it may be.

S - Support: Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Are we all familiar with the Lightning McQueen TikTok thingy? That’s him! He’s cheering you on so loudly and isn’t afraid to let everyone know.

T - Thrill: Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Definitely one to love trying out new things in the relationship. Some aspects he does prefer a routine, but for the most part he’s down to spice things up to keep you both on your toes.

U - Understanding: How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

There’s still moments when he gets surprised by you and the things you do, but for the most part, he knows you fairly well. He tries to be empathetic with many of your struggles, because he knows he would want the same, but sometimes he genuinely can’t relate so it just flies over his head, but he makes an effort to understand.

V - Value: How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Early on, not the most important, but he did put time and effort into it. As you progress however, it climbs up and becomes one of the most important and valuable things in his life and he’s not afraid to admit that.

W - Whole: How do they feel about you being in their life?

He’s found his best friend for life. His person. And he doesn’t want to lose you.

X - Xylophone: What is your song?

View by SHINee

Y - Yearning: How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Man is so pouty and mopey. He copes, but it’s clear he misses you.

Z - Zeal: Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

To the ends of the earth. Man will fight for you and your relationship to no end. He may be more passive, but he will not hesitate to defend your love.

#kactor #kactor headcanons #kwak dongyeon #kwak dongyeon masterlist #kwak dongyeon headcanons

[bugtransport]

god i really liked the ending to fionna and cake... i can't stop thinking about it each time i go back and run it through my mind i pick out different things that they did to set things up. and i'm coming at the show from the perspective of someone who really liked simon as a kid and always found him interesting and also just fucking loves sad men in general so. there's your context. it's a show about him being able to come to terms with the fact that he served a positive role in someone's life but that people and circumstances change and he needs to let things move on and come to terms with how things are in the present and accept the future instead of just living in the past, right. i mean he's living in a goddamn display of how things used to be back in the day.

more than that though there's marceline at the beginning of the show off getting a tattoo which is one of the quintessential "oh, she's not my little girl any more!" parenthood moments. we see the mess that she's in in the star where she didn't learn compassion growing up and is trapped in her toxic doomed yuri spiral. we see the winter king who actively warns simon from creating an ice-betty and yet he made himself an ice-marceline who's forever a child stuck there with him, who melts when he dies. we have the setup and proof that marceline is better off for having known and spent time with simon but proof as well that he needs to be able to let her grow up. (to sidebar with marshall, you can contrast it to his mom who wants to be this big controlling part of his life and... that's honestly why i don't feel mad about marcy not being in the finale.) same with fionna and cake - only by taking them out of his mind and letting them be in their own world and do their own thing without his "protection" and his magic as a crutch are they able to make their world their own and have it canonized. it's him giving up the chase he's been on his whole life with the crown by throwing it into the void and moving on because it doesn't mean anything anymore, there's no purpose in it, it served its time and that time is over now. it's everything with him and betty where you can't change things but you don't regret the time that you spent together. you might change the specifics but you wouldn't change being able to know someone and be in their life.

we can take it meta and say that setting this with fionna and cake is a play to our nostalgia as viewers and that fionna having grown up and become her own person apart from how she was in adventure time the show is doing something similar to us. i think that viewpoint of being in the present and accepting things as they are is something that feels so adventure time to me; in the same breath that itself makes it feel nostalgic. there are so many points in this show where i caught myself thinking "wow, that really felt like what watching adventure time felt like back in school" which i guess could have kind of been the point. being able to see these characters come to some kind of new closure was closure for me.

to be able to hold love in your heart for something or someone that served a time and place in your life but that you've since moved on from or grown away from is healthy and good and not shown nearly as much as i would like! i think it's important. it really made me happy to see that as the angle they decided to go with. everything can have a time and place. and we can move on.

#fionna and cake spoilers #making spaghetti #taking these out of the dms so you all can see my thoughts and where i'm at here

[cuoredimuschio]

15 people, 15 questions

tagged by @patchworkgargoyle!! 💚💚

1. are you named after anyone?

my dead name was possibly in honor of my grandmother and great-grandmother, but i 100% named myself after noah czerny (trc) when i was 17 👻

2. when was the last time you cried?

probably yesterday? idk, it happens a lot and my memory's terrible

3. do you have kids?

no. probably never will, whether i want them or not. i'm a little too scared of how easy it is screw up in parenthood

4. what sports do you play/have played?

i played softball from kindergarten through eighth grade, but that last year, i had a coach who benched me for over half of our games and screamed at me during practice in front of the whole team and made me sick to my stomach at just the thought of playing, so i decided i was done with the sport and didn't try out in high school lol

5. do you use sarcasm?

constantly. too much probably. but like, not with strangers usually, and i try to make it pretty obvious if i am being sarcastic

6. what's the first thing you notice about people?

the way they look at me/their expression, maybe? i'm just like. constantly on edge in public and i don't pass super well and also i'm just like. wildly self-conscious, so i'm always like 'okay, let's see, does this random stranger already hate me? 🤔'

7. what's your eye color?

i guess hazel would be most accurate answer. i've always said brown (dishwater brown to quote the midwife who helped deliver me), but it turns out there's actually green in there too and it's just brown around my pupil (a fact i genuinely did not realize until i was like. 17) so....yeah, hazel

8. scary movies or happy endings?

you know i always say i don't like scary movies because i'm very easily spooked, but i'm currently back on my chucky shit (sorry followers, but tis the season) and honestly, i wanna cop out and say both, scary movie with a happy ending.

9. any talents?

the sad thing is, no, i genuinely can't think of a single one. like, all i've got is that i can make a star with a rubber band, but i don't think that's a talent lol

10. where were you born?

ohio, unfortunately :/

11. what are your hobbies?

writing, reading, playing way too much zelda/stardew valley, occasionally knitting, taking walks, crosswords, making niche playlists, listening to the same song on repeat for hours

12. do you have any pets?

i am the proud proprietor of the cutest dog this side of the mississippi, miss ellie rose. (seasonally-appropriate evidence of said cuteness below)

13. how tall are you?

5'4" (and three quarters) #shortkingnation 😔✊

14. favorite subject in school?

english and math!!

15. dream job?

honestly, i have no idea. i've never had very lofty ambitions; when i was a kid, i wanted to be a bus driver or a mail man, and i never really found anything that stoked my soul in the past two decades. trite english major answer here, but i guess maybe working in a library or a bookstore would be nice (i'd say author but girlie, i could never) 🤷‍♂️

no-pressure, zero-obligation tags: @hellfiredemon, @starryeyedjanai, @pizzaqueen, @thefreakandthehair, @cheatghost, @vecnuthy andddd that's about everyone i know, sorry if i double-tagged anyone!!

#tag game #about me #sorry if i tagged anyone that didn't wanna be tagged too #i'm always so scared to tag people lol

[madamemiabus]

Oh yeah gloria is a cheeto

Okay so i feel the need to adress this for...literally no reason i just feel the need to say something about it, so i came back to the h&h fandom out of nowhere after months of no interacting and getting out of discord reason being that it got boring after a while, so whem miracle child was release i kinda didn't know what to think about it and also did not play much attectiom to it outside of that one drunk and sleep deprived post i made, the only think i got out of it was "well i guess gloria sucks now lmao" and butch of horrible jokes about infertility, so whem i came back last week i thought maybe is time to actually put out my thoughts about one of favorite characters and how do i actually still stan them despiste the change of pespetive, now i have to make this very clear i like gloria on a personal level the woman became one of my comfort characters, someone or something i could relate and use it was coping whem i need it, and that is something that haven't change if anything the new info about her makes me like enjoy her was a character even more because makes the whole situation more complicated and opens the doors to a lot of possibilitys for interpretation,expeculation and headcannons. So let's talk about the elephant in the room, the cheating was always a possibility it was hitted was far back to the 2020 videos and where it was a matter of time to know the truth a yes and no type of question and the anwser is yes she did, and i'm going to say something that has been on my chest for a while now, i do not think she did it out of love for martin, gloria cheated on him most likely out of her own selfishness and even if none of fucked up supernatural shit happend this whole situation would not have ended well, the greywhinder kids are probably already set on a path of emocional turmoil from the moment they are born regardless of the outcome, plus Martin didn't lie about how important this was for him, yeah the way he put it sucks but it comes from a place of honestly, that's the biggest irony here, "but madame what about the domestic abuse??" Well, these things can coexist; you can be a victim and the idiot of a situation. I have no doubt for now that Martin was abusive to both his children and Gloria at some point, if not always. To me, this new context didn't change much my likeability of the characters because I'm fine with them being horrible; they aren't real people, and because of that, it's okay to like them for who they are as characters.

Extras thoughts

- i have read some debates from the pespective of miracle/rainbow children on their parents and there is this interesting point some of them make about the ones with bad parents, a lot of the time the parents are not with love with the children or parenthood but more so to their ideal children, is not uncommon for people to have expectations whem comes to becoming a parent or how their kids will be and that's fine and all but whem you decide to consider having a kid is important to ground yourself in reality and understand that your kid is own being and the reality of raising children is nothing like your personal fantasy, i'm bringing this because of martin's obssesion with control and dicipline in my opinion he could very well be frustated that his kids aren't was well behaved or controlled like he imagine them to be, they are noisy,annoying and oblivous to his requests and feelings which only complicates things.

-A lot of people with fertility issues usually have a grief period in which they come to accept their condition; you can imagine why this guy didn't.

-The only thing I don't like about this plot twist is Arthur. Before,  it felt like he was someone who was stepping in to help things for his family, and now it just comes off to me as "he is just taking responsibility for something he did have a hand in..

-There's something that is oddly funny to me in the finale. When Martin starts to talk about his current position in the H&P, I can almost see Gloria rolling her eyes into oblivion and questioning why she even asked for his help, like her mind is on her son vanishing. Martin starts to rant, and for a half second, the woman is like "Oh my lord, I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE!".

#my post #writting #harmony and horror #gloria greywhinder #martin greywhinder #arthur greywhinder #There is news #Btw this blog is criticism free so feel free to add your own stuff #I dont expect people to agree with me 100% on this one

[mangoshorthand]

Your thoughts on the Five going to school/college in S4 speculations? And Five’s journey in S4 in general? I kind of dislike the idea. The man is nearly 60 and tired, I want him to have a break instead of dealing with teens and homework.

I can understand where the thoughts are coming from though, because what is he supposed to do at 13 with no powers, but I can imagine he would be so done there, and you can see he is cleanly uncomfortable being stucked in his teenage body. Two new characters where officially introduced to work as professors, maybe Five will be one too? Probably for maths?

In general I am curious where the story will go for him.

Will he stay in his body and catch up the years he lost in the apocalypse? Because I remember Aidan saying something like Five never got to discover who he really is. But then he would be mentally like, over 100 in the future?

Will he get his old body back? But Aidan not playing his last scene would be sad, Aidan is born for this role. Aidan is Five.

Will he die? Sounds logical since we have the problem with his body, and he is always the one who tries to saves everyone’s ass. (And still gets scolded instead of getting a hug or thank you, which bugs me). But Five dying after everything he’s been through would also break not me but I guess everyone who loves his character.

I am sorry for the long ask, but I really liked your answer about AroAce Five and I am interested in your thoughts about this as well!

Well, ya know, now you meeenntion it, I actually have a fic on Ao3 about Five ending up in juvie after losing his powers, called Alias Number Five so you might consider this as part of my speculation on a possible S4 trajectory. But enough pushing my own shit:

School/University?

I don't see Five going to school. I think, even in a situation where he was forced to, it would be clear that he could pass his final exams within the first month and he would be accelerated. I don't think he would tolerate school. I can imagine him enjoying being around kids in the way an indulgent uncle might but I don't think he'd tolerate a school setting for long. University is more likely in my opinion. I think Five is someone who wants rest, but I honestly think he would get bored shitless of retirement within a couple of weeks. He might have the memories and experience of an older man, but his body is not. A lot of the physical and mental tiredness you get when you're older is physiological (the brain and body slowing down, becoming less adaptable) and Five has the physical body and brain as a young person. He'd simply have too much energy to spend 70+ years fucking about fishing and gardening. I can see academia in something like maths, engineering or theoretical physics as a happy medium: he would have a long term project but enough time to breathe while he did it. Very little urgency, plenty of time to goof off and find himself, time to actually grow up and discover who he is. Just like we all do at college.

Body?

I doubt Five will get his body back. And I don't want that for him either. He actually does need to grow up and learn to navigate the non-apocalyptic world and relationships with other humans. He needs the time and energy that the younger body will give him to do that. All my fics about him are, at their core, about his inability to do this, (or learning how to). I find it really interesting to imagine how he would approach normal interpersonal things (e.g. romantic relationships, communicating his feelings, parenthood) when his most formative years were spent without other people. He's naive yet jaded and that's a fascinating combination. Also, as great as AG is, I have to put in a shout for Old Five's actor. Sean Sullivan is brilliant too and definitely does the character justice. Their work together is very impressive.

Death?

I think his death is not unlikely as a plot point. If he does, I think he will die in the way that Allison and Klaus 'appeared' to die and then came back. How they'll achieve that, I don't know. Five is a very self-sacrificing person and I have no doubt he would sacrifice himself for his siblings if called upon to do so. It would make sense for his character. I am also frustrated by how much his siblings take this for granted, (another theme in Alias Number Five!), and Five choosing to die to save them could be the thing to kick them up the ass and get them to start appreciating him. It would make narrative sense, you know?

Thanks for the ask. I like to pontificate. 😊

#Sean Sullivan is life #mango muses #tua five #headcanon #five hargreeves #fanfic #just pushing my fics #don't mind me #whistles innocently