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sabraeal · 11 months

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If the Mind Is Willing, Chapter 3

[Read on AO3]

Part three of 500 Follower prizes @bubblesthemonsterartist earned herself years ago! Only two more and I will have fulfilled all those fics...probably just in time to have a 1K follower raffle

Blue light washes her pink sheets pale, until it’s impossible to tell when cotton ends and her skin begins. The shadows pull longer in its glow, turning her own nearly skeletal as she reaches out a finger, hovering over the link.

“U-J-Kyo?” Chizuru’s mouth wraps around each letter, the sound of them tumbling softly into the muted glow. “But that’s just...?”

The university’s homepage. And her laptop’s, technically, now that Yamazaki helped her set it. Not something she’d normally associate with Souji’s interests, not unless he’s started some new hostilities with the provost’s office again. Their last open letter hung on the fridge until just before Thanksgiving, the second paragraph asking for “certain individuals in the student body“ to “show more conduct becoming of an undergraduate of a prestigious institution” highlighted proudly in lime green.

Dean Kondo dropped by the house only a few days later-- for a friendly visit, he’d said, smile as warm as she remembered. He’d stayed for dinner, complimenting the soup she’d made from their leftovers, and then talked with Souji out on the porch until the swing’s chains started to creak. The letter disappeared the next morning, unremarked, though Souji kept glowering at the bare metal every time he passed through the kitchen.

Chizuru swipes tentatively at the screen, messaging app blooming beneath her finger. The link’s innocuous, known, but Souji has a gift for slipping a sting into any handshake. And if he’s calling it a gift, well--

[ToudouDomination] omg holy shit dude nice knowing u hijikatas gonna kill u 4 sure 💀💀

Professor Hijikata’s taught her enough about Trojans to take that kind of present at face value.

[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] *skullfuck u mean skullfuck ull b the most beautiful corpse at ur funeral bro

Her lips press tight, clinging to each other as close as the rubber case to her phone. If everyone’s acting like this about it, it’s better that she doesn’t look.

[ToudouDomination] MY funeral???!! what’s this got to do with me??!!

[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] nah man im not talking ab YOU im talking ab dead man walking over here

She’d regret it if she did, probably.

[Dr 💖💋🤭] jfc I’ll say somethign nice at you’re disciplinery hearing

[ToudouDomination] Me??

[Dr 💖💋🤭] No one’s talking about you Heisuke

It’s an accident, really. Her thumb skims up the side of the screen-- scrolling past the sudden influx of skull and fire emojis the boys heave into the chat-- and the pad of it just barely brushes the link. It flashes under the pressure, blue then purple, selected, and well...

There’s no harm in just letting it happen, is there? It’s only the university homepage, nothing--

Ah. That’s what it should be at least. But instead of the azure and white, there’s text curling across the screen, a half dozen different hand-written poems in blue bic and college rule, tiled across every inch of the background. There’s coffee stains on them too, some in the corner, and some in rings, like they were more used to being coasters than literature. And in the center of it all--

“Oh.” She blinks, tilting her screen to get a better view. “A video?”

Hogyoku Open Mic, it reads at one corner, reflection on water. A strange choice for Souji; he’s never mentioned an interest in poetry, let alone live readings. Frowning, Chizuru tilts her phone, letting the video fill the screen.

It plays, and oh, several things become clear, all at once.

“My heart is pure,” the man on screen promises, words raking over the gravel of his voice-- how little of it there is marks his age more than the lack of lines on his face-- but Chizuru’s isn’t, not when she can’t do much more than stare, fingers numb around the rubber case. “I use my palm as an inkstone.”

The camera pans closer, and yes, above that black dress shirt-- open to its third button, oh goodness gracious-- is Hijikata. Not the one she knows now, the grizzled professor who kicks his feet up on the desk and uses profanity as punctuation, but--

But a much younger man, not much older than her, considering the last little bastions of baby fat clinging to his cheekbones.

[Dr 💖💋🤭] This muts be a hundred pakcs of cigs ago

[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] 💯

[ToudouDomination] do moths feel desire or is that like a poetic thing he talks about rain a lot too whats that all ab

[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] its a sex thing

[Dr 💖💋🤭] Shin don’t tell the baby taht

[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] hes a growing boy he has to learn sometime better he hears it from us hijikata fucks 🍑🍆🍑

[Saito.Hajime] Can I please be removed from this group? Also, congratulations, Souji, on finding a new, creative way to die

[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] no way if we all have to think think about hijikata fucking u have to suffer too

[Saito.Hajime] I am not certain I care for that logic

[Dr 💖💋🤭] Too bad, bud. Your stukc with us

[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] yeah bro u signed the housing contract ur here til death comes for u or like u move out or smthn

Chizuru means to stop the video, really she does. It’s not something Hijikata would want them to see-- at least, she assumes so, considering the way he flushes every time Souji brings up his graduate school slam jams, threatening to expel him if he doesn’t ‘shut his damn mouth.’

But the one on the screen smiles as he finishes his set, smouldering out past the stage lights, and she-- she expects snapping, some cool cats with shades and berets nodding their heads to his truth or whatever mood this is supposed to give. A respectful silence, one that gives space to the idea he’s introduced to the space, but instead--

Instead there’s screams. A full audience of women-- and a few particularly enthusiastic men-- loudly voicing their appreciation for what she’s hoping is the poetry.

Ah, maybe Shinpachi is right. It is a sex thing. And she’s watched a full ten minutes of it.

Hijikata can never know. Or worse--

[Susumu Yamazaki] Take this down. Now.

[( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)] eat my ass

Her heart ricochets around her rib cage, panicked, before it lodges itself in her throat. It flutters there, queasily, and-- and there’s no way he could possibly know, but still, guilt seizes her. She shouldn’t have looked, not once she knew. She should have been the first to say it was wrong. Helpers can only help when they know there is a problem, that’s what Father would have said. If you cannot perceive it then you are part of it.

She could say something now. Her hand squeezes tight around the case. No, she should say something now. She has to, because father will ask. She’ll tell him about this frantic midnight showdown, and he’ll say, and what did you say?

And if it is nothing...

[Susumu Yamazaki] Take it down now. Or I will get university IT involved.

[( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)] you don’t have the fucking balls

[Susumu Yamazaki] Try me.

Even with her eyes closed, her failure is inescapable. The words flash behind her eyelids, no longer composed of ones and zeros but scrawled in neon lights instead, reminding her that if she were better she could have fixed this. That if she were good enough, she could have found the magic phrase to get them all to get along. But instead...

Silence, that’s what he’ll give her. A long pause where all his expectations weigh on her, piling on her chest like boulders on a criminal. A cluck of his tongue, and a soft, I thought I raised you better. Any moment now, her phone will ring, and Father will know what a disappointment she is because--

It’s Christmas. Just about everywhere but Hawaii. A couple other islands in the Pacific too, if she’s being fair. It’s Christmas, and he’s supposed to call because that’s the way it’s always been: her staying up late not to catch Santa and his Reindeer but Father emerging from his office. It’s her that would tromp down the hall with all the grace of an elephant, to fling her arms around him and yelp, Merry Christmas!

And it was him who had to be stern, who must put her back down on the carpet and scold her for being out of bed. Who has to wait until she’s nearly shut her door to stop her, to call out, Merry Christmas, Chizuru.

It’s supposed to be her first. The one given moments after midnight, the most real, and-- and--

And she’s spent the whole day waiting for an empty office.

There’s a part of her, one that’s still too short to reach the microwave and can’t bear the kindness next door, that thinks she missed it. That there’s some dead zone in the house that she unwittingly lingered in, or a notification that her phone somehow swallowed whole. That it’s her fault she never presented herself to be loved.

But there’s another part, one that’s growing every day, and that one--

That one’s just tired.

It’s tired that wins out, in the end.

There’s a weight that drags at her, urging her to stay within the cocoon of her covers, to let the night unfurl across her screen, each blow reported in black and white right before her eyes. A passive observer, an active disappointment, but most importantly: unmoving.

Even still, she gets up, throwing the cloud of her comforter back so that she can slide out from underneath it. Her heels hit the floor with a force that chatters her teeth; or maybe that’s just the chill of the air now that her body heat is no longer trapped up against her skin.

Her phone settles on the nightstand, cozening up to the lamp, and for a long moment, she thinks about turning it on. Every muscle complains as she peels her day clothes off and exchanges them for pajamas, her eyes straining to make out what’s a hole and what’s just dead air, and yet--

Yet it’s easier than facing herself.

The same weight drops her back onto the mattress, an anchor sinking into the endless depths of open water. She isn’t sure when she’ll hit bottom, but staring at the blank screen beside her feels entirely too close to it.

It’s with a trembling finger that she guides the volume from full to vibrate. Even that makes her heart race, makes her wonder if she’s just punishing Father for having priorities besides a fully adult daughter, the same one who had so happily told him she would support his sabbatical wherever it took him. What if he needs to get a hold of her? If there’s an emergency on Borneo or San Cistobal or whatever island his research took him? Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just keep it on a little, just in case--

Her fingers flex. She deserves to sleep tonight, what little of it there is left. And if this is on...

Vibrate changes to mute. The phone flips over, screen pressed against the wood.

“Good night, Daddy.” She gives the case one last, small tap. “Merry Christmas.”

“Hey, jailbait.” Something warm nudges her shoulder, not gently. Chizuru has the space of exactly one breath to wonder what, before the same something grips both and shakes. “Get up!”

“Haah?” Her hands flail out, but whatever’s gotten hold of her slithers out of her grip, retreating past her arm’s reach. “What...?”

It’s bright when her eyes peel open, the sun already seeping through the curtain even though it can’t be more than--

“Class!” Her limbs fly out, wild as she tries to turn over, tangled up in the tight embrace of her covers. “I’m late for--”

“Hold up a slice, shortcake.” Souji looms over her, tall enough that his knees barely brush the bed to do it. “No classes today.”

“No...?” It’s not as if she has anything to say, brain moving at a snail’s pace that it is, but her mouth keeps moving anyway, as if just working her jaw might help get the gears moving. Which it does, oddly enough, reminding her it’s not a weekend but a holiday, and not just any holiday but Christmas, and--

And Father never called. Unless it came in the night, after she’d put herself to bed. After she’d not only turned off the ringtone but vibrate too, leaving him no chance to hear her voice, forcing any attempts for him to contact her straight to voicemail, like she didn’t even care--

“Hey.” Souji knees the mattress, jolting her outstretched elbow right into the corner of the nightstand. “Get up already.”

Painful tingles race up her arm, bouncing from elbow to shoulder and back and, oh, why is it called the funny bone when it’s not funny at all? “Souji, why are you--?”

A bleary blink turns the blurred numbers on her clock to something like sense.

“Oh!” She bolts upright on the mattress, sending Souji skittering back a step. No wonder he’s deigned to scratch at her door; Harada might be the oldest, but of the three of them, Chizuru’s the only one that can be trusted with the stove. “It’s late! Are you hungry?”

“No.” This close, it’s easy to see that furrow flash between his brows, the quick reassessment of his opinion. “Well, yeah. But that’s not what I want right now.”

This early, her brain’s as bleary as her vision, but it won’t clear no matter how much she blinks. “Then what...?”

He heaves a sigh; her only warning before long fingers clamp around her wrist, cold as iron. “Just come with me already.”

It’s a feat to get untangled from her blankets; there’s a knit one sandwiched between the top sheet and the comforter, plus another for more weight-- and heat, since she shares her thermostat with Shinpachi and Harada, whose bodies both run at a temperature verging on medically alarming if they think sixty-five degrees is comfortable. It’s harder still with Souji yanking at her the whole time; she’s not certain whether he does it because he’s impatient or because her struggling amuses him. Possibly both, knowing Souji.

Impatience, however, wins out. One foot wins free, planting itself on the bedside braided rug, and he snaps, “Hurry up. We don’t have all day.”

She’d love to, if only the comforter hadn’t swallowed her up to the ankle, cinching tight when she tries to pry it apart. “Ah, I know! Just give me one--”

Unless she’d meant to say second-- which she hadn’t, not at all-- Souji doesn’t give it to her. Instead he tugs, and she stumbles off the mattress, dragging half the blankets with her. “Good,” he huffs, barely glancing back. “Let’s go.”

“Wait!” Souji has a terrible habit of making things worse the longer he’s made to wait, but she digs in her heels anyway. Or, well, the one that isn’t still trapped in Poly-Fil. “Can I at least put on my robe?”

“Why? It’s not like there’s anyone to see your cute little Christmas--” he squints “--raccoons?”

“Tanuki.” She smooths her hand over the fabric, one of their round faces peeking playfully out from between her fingers. “They’re just so fluffy.”

Souji stares at her, stone-faced and silent, and-- and it’s longer than that his teasing typically takes. “Right,” he says, stilted. “Whatever. Just hurry it up, Sleeping Beauty.”

Chizuru is keenly conscious of every second Souji suffers her, all-too aware of how impossible it is to win a race against the limits of his patience, but she’s determined to make the most of what she’s given. It’s hopeless to aspire to Hajime’s cool efficiency, but she tries, keeping her movements sharp and purposeful, as if putting on her robe required the same sweeping grace as his kata, and yet--

Yet she barely cinches the knot tight before he’s grabbed her again. “C’mon, princess. We’ve got things to do.”

It’s a struggle just to keep her feet beneath her, but she manages a very eloquent. “Huh?”

His mouth quirks, too pleased, as he tugs and she stumbles, bare feet barely braced against the jamb. “People to piss off.”

Ah, well that’s hardly promising.

When all is said and done, he doesn’t drag her far. A cold comfort, considering.

“This is Hajime’s room,” she informs him. His grin assures her he already knows. “And, Ya-- ah, I mean, Su-- uh, um. S-susu...?”

The name’s foreign in her mouth, tongue stumbling and stuttering around it, and it’s-- it’s just odd not to use it, when she’s so used to Souji and Hajime and Heisuke and Shinpachi and even Sano, if it feels safe to say, instead of intimate. As if she’s letting all the rest of them close while keeping him at arm’s length.

Which isn’t true. But still, she can’t bring herself to say Yamazaki’s first name so casually, not when even Heisuke, who barely lasted three hours before asking if she was cool with nicknames, hasn’t managed it. With the syllables rolling around in her mouth, it’s almost...

Illicit. That’s it. “Is there a reason you need me here?”

Souji’s mouth curls, so satisfied she’s surprised she can’t see feathers between his teeth. “Yes, definitely.”

“But they went home for the holidays.” She frowns. “Did you need something in there? I’m pretty sure it’s--”

His leg kicks back, and with one smooth swing, he completely bypasses the need for a doorknob, the open door shivering from the force.

“-- locked,” she finishes faintly. “Oh my.”

One hand catches the door, long fingers splayed across the grain. “After you, jailbait.”

She nearly balks-- it’s not as if it’s his room; he hardly has the right to invite her-- but the door swings open, and she--

She’s never seen this before. Yamazaki’s room. Or Hajime’s, of course. A tour down the hallway would be enough to get a glimpse into any of the other rooms; Heisuke hadn’t even waited a day to drag her into his, pointing out all his favorite posters. Harada and Shinpachi took a few weeks longer, though she’d spent most of that visit with her hands clapped over her eyes. Even Souji tolerated her shuffling a step over the threshold, even if it was only to ask for him to help her reach one of the taller cabinets. But Yamazaki and Hajime...

Their door has always been carefully shut, not even the slightest gap for a peek. An easy habit to explain away; the both of them value privacy over accessibility, choosing to socialize in the common areas of the house rather than in their room, but still--

It’s almost surprising how normal it is. Not that Chizuru expected it to be wallpapered floor to ceiling with centerfolds, like Harada and Shinpachi’s room, or crowded with collectibles like Heisuke’s, but maybe white walls and stark sheets, monochrome and neat as a pin. The sort of room that would seem unoccupied, if it wasn’t for the monitors on the desks. Sterile.

Instead there’s posters. Not crowding the walls, so close that the corners overlap, but there’s personality, if not chaos. Enough to know that the boy who sleeps under the navy comforter likes movies with kimonos and swords or computers from the 80s, and that charcoal comforter likes wuxia and vintage medical diagrams. And books too, if the stack teetering on his bedside table is any indication.

Chizuru shuffles a step further into the room. It would be rude to rummage, but surely-- surely it wouldn’t hurt if she just read the titles. If she just stooped down the tiniest bit and--

And tripped over Souji, shoulder-deep beneath Yamazaki’s mattress. “W-what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” he grunts, annoyed. “A guy that uptight’s got to be hiding something. And not just the normal stuff. The kind of something that’s gotta be top shelf fucked up.”

She blinks. “Huh?”

“Oh come on, you know what I mean. Whips and chains.” He drags his arm out with a huff. “Autoerotic asphyxiation. Snuff tapes.” Souji reaches up, flipping over his pillows. “Yiffing. Who could say what a small-dicked little turd like him is into?”

Half those words are unrecognizable, and so it’s not until he’s on his feet, poking through desk drawers that Chizuru realizes, “You mean you’re looking for...for...” Her mouth works, cheeks painfully hot as she manages, “Girlie magazines?”

His fingers still, pressed into a sheaf of glossy page edges. “I’m trying to find porn, Chizuru. That’s what we call it this century.”

The book shuts with a snap, joining its friends on the shelf, and when he reaches for another, she blurts out, “Don’t people just watch that online now?”

Souji laughs, not kind, but abandons the bookshelf. “And everyone thinks you’re so innocent, huh, princess?”

Her hands clap to her cheeks. Ah, she hadn’t realized it could be painful to blush. “I, um...only, ah--” Souji flings open the closet “--I don’t think you should really be--!”

“Jackpot.” The hangers rattle as he slips something off the rack; with only the sunlight eking in around the blinds to light the room, it’s hard to see just what. “What do you think? Would it look good on me?”

The fabric’s black, limp and shapeless on its hanger, utterly unrecognizable. “I don’t...?”

“Nah, no way I could fit into that shrimp’s costumes.” The light might be dim, but Souji’s teeth practically glow when he says, “But you could, half pint. C’mon, get over here.”

She doesn’t have much of a choice, not when he grabs her wrist and yanks. “I don’t understand,” she murmurs, watching him separate a smaller piece from the whole, more uncomfortable by the second. “Why did you need me when you were only going to..um...?”

Steal seems a little strong for the moment. Scrounge falls a little short.

“Ahhh, see, kid, last night I left a little gift for the whole student body. Right on the main page, where everyone could appreciate it.” He steps entirely too close, the warmth of his body filling the space between them. “And our favorite little ass-kisser didn’t appreciate it.”

The scrap slips over her head, cool and smooth where it settles around her neck. “So he took it down. Or got some of his nerd friends to do it. Either way...” Souji shrugs. “It’s rude to give back a gift, isn’t it?”

His wrist twists, the cloth pulling tight against her skin. Tight enough that only a twitch guides her into a nod. “See? That’s what I thought too. Kid needs to learn a thing or two about manners. So that’s what I’m doing.” Souji grins, the fabric loosening as he lets it slip from his fingers. “Teaching him a lesson.”

“B-but...” Her focus stumbles as he steps closer, threading his hand beneath the few inches of her hair that don’t clear the fabric and pulling them free. “I don’t see what that has to do with me.”

“It’s cute that you don’t know.” His smile could cut when he slips the cloth right up over her nose. “This is a hostage situation, jailbait, and you’re going to read from the script. Now look over here.”

She does, blinking right up into the blinding light of flash photography as his arm squeezes her close. “What...?”

“Perfect.” Souji’s lips slant to a smirk, phone pinched delicately between his fingers. “Now I just need to post this in--”

The lights flick on. Neither of them are near the switch.

But Hajime is.

“Just what,” he says, brows drawn down like a storm, “do you think you’re doing in here?”

There have only been three house meetings since Chizuru showed up on their doorstep, hair shorn and all her earthly possessions split between a backpack and a trash bag: the first, called by the professor, to announce that that there would be a new roommate; the second, to decide how exactly to handle the fact that Chizuru wasn’t a boy’s name, nor was she; and the third, well...

I’m not complaining that you invite girls back, Sano, Shinpachi had said, with all the gravitas of a judge, but you can’t let them wander around. She went through our trash, dude!

But this-- it’s different. Not just because of the Christmas lights, festively twinkling through their cycle, or Shinpachi’s sweater blinking through its own.

It’s that they’re all here, Christmas afternoon-- evening really, with how early the sun sets these days-- holidays cut short. Chizuru might not have anyone to spent Christmas with, but Shinpachi did, and Heisuke, and Yamazaki--

And instead they’re all here. Because of her. Not a single one of them is smiling.

It’s too much.

“I’m so sorry!” The words burst out of her, rushed, but it’s important to get them out before anyone else can speak, before they think she’s only sorry because she got caught. “I really didn’t mean to go in! I just...Souji said...”

“Narc.” It’s muffled in his shoulder, just loud enough for her to hear. And maybe others, the way Yamazaki’s brow twitches across the table.

“Chizu, Chizu. Come on.” Shinpachi holds up his hands, as if a half-hearted sweep like that could clear the slate of her worries.. “No one here thinks this is your fault.”

It’s kind of him to say, but that’s...impossible. Not when she’s so clearly transgressed. “I went into Y-Yamazaki and Hajime’s room without permission. That’s against the--”

“No, Yukimura, that’s not--” Yamazaki’s teeth clack down, hard. “I don’t mind if it’s you. Ah, I mean--” his ears flush the same angry pink that licks up the column of his neck “--it’s, er, different.”

“You are respectful of other people’s personal belongings,” Hajime clarifies. “There is no issue with you in our private space. Souji, however...”

“Oh, come on.” Souji kicks his feet up on the coffee table, baring every hole in the bottom of them. “It’s not like I broke anything.”

Yamazaki’s eyes hone onto him-- or rather, the parts of him only inches from Harada’s iced mocha, so close a flex of a toe could touch the coaster. “Right, you only stole something. Not like that’s a big deal.”

“Stole? Like I want--” with a sweep of his palm, Yamazaki clears the surface of appendages, so precise it doesn’t even disrupt the condensation on the cup “--hey!”

He doesn’t smile, but when Yamazaki glances up at the couch, his satisfaction shines just as bright as one.

“Souji.”

Hajime is not like Shinpachi, using his outdoor voice in every room no matter how small, or Heisuke, unable to control his volume once a conversation gets interesting. He’s soft spoken, serious; the sort of person other people lean in to hear, rather than ask him to speak up.

But today, he pitches his voice to be heard. “You cannot enter someone’s assigned private room without express permission.” With even graver inflection, he adds “It is against the rules put forth in the Signed Housing Agreement.”

Souji snorts, sinking further into the couch cushions. “No one pays attention to that crap.”

Air hisses between Yamazaki’s teeth. “That’s--”

“If I am not allowed to leave the group chat unless a member of the house boots me for a pre-agreed upon duration,” Hajime says, mouth pulling thin, “then you are also not allowed in my room.”

His glare is hardly aimed at her, but it comes close enough that she flinches. Souji doesn’t, refusing to acknowledge it that same way a cat declined to be caught on a curtain, as if reality was simply an opinion he did or did not hold. “I didn’t even touch your stuff. I don’t know why you’re trying to--”

“You did touch Yamazaki’s stuff, though.” Harada shifts in his chair, the vee of his sweater dipping deep enough to bare cleavage. It might be distracting, if it wasn’t already a relief that he was wearing all his clothes. “Which is against the rules.”

“Yeah, that’s fucked up, right?” Shinpachi cracks open a tall boy, cold enough that the beer fizzes out, threatening to drip right across the festive moose on his chest; HORNY AND WELL HUNG according to the words knit into his sweater. “There’s no locks on the doors, man. We’ve all got to trust each other.”

Chizuru blinks. “But I have a lock.”

He pauses, mid-sip. “Well, I guess that makes sense. You’re a girl, after all. Can’t have a girl be alone with a bunch of guys if there no--”

“My room also has a lock.” Hajime frowns, considering the socks Souji’s just returned to the table. “Hardly a good one, if Souji was able to bypass it with just his foot, but...”

“Me too,” Heisuke chimes in. “I just don’t really use it.”

“Wait, what?” Shinpachi swivels between them, lost. “Are me and Sano the only ones who don’t--?”

“I think the best course of action is to inform Professor Hijikata about the infraction.” Kneeling on the carpet next to Shinpachi’s luggage, Yamazaki’s hardly an authority figure, but when he raises his voice the room fritters to silence. “I’m sure he can take it from there.”

Harada hums, unconvinced. “I don’t know about that. Souji’s already got two strikes against him. If we report another one, I’m pretty sure Hijikata’s going to toss him out.”

They might be more suggestions than eyebrows, but still, it makes an impression when Yamazaki furrows them. “I don’t see why that’s any of my concern.”

“Aw, c’mon, Yamazaki.” They all might tease her about her pleading eyes, but it’s Heisuke that uses them now, as compelling as any puppy in a pet store window. “You know Souji doesn’t have anywhere else to go. You wouldn’t throw him out in the cold just like that, would you?”

His mouth pinches, bracing the way the rest of him is, squared off and utterly implacable. “Souji is a grown man who can make his own decisions. If those decisions lead to him getting tossed out, that hardly has anything to do with me.”

Souji snorts. “None of the people who complained are even here anymore.”

Yamazaki whips around, eyes so cold they could turn any other man to ice. Souji just smirks. “Yes, because of you.”

“Well, I don’t know...” Heisuke hums, thoughtful. “Ryu left because of that art program. You know, the one that had the scholarship.”

“Only after Okita shoved him off--!”

“Oh, c’mon.” Souji’s shoulder twitch, barely summoning up the energy for a full shrug. “That’s all water under the bridge.”

Yamazaki surges to his feet; only Harada’s hand, keeping him from jumping the table too. “You broke his wrist in three places! The only reason he didn’t press charges was because his foster father is somehow an even bigger asshole than you!”

Souji picks his grins the same way a chef picks his knives from the block: with the intention to cut. “No hard feelings.”

“Hard feelings?” Yamazaki chokes out. “You think this is about hard feelings? When Itou left, he--”

“Itou was a prick.”

Hajime doesn’t so much sigh as hum, raspy and dubious. “That doesn’t mean that what you did was right, Souji.”

His eyes narrow, annoyed. “Don’t pretend you miss him running around the place, acting better than everyone.”

“No, no. He’s got a point.” The easy chair grunts as Shinpachi shifts his weight back, crossing his legs ankle to knee. “They both do. You know I don’t want to kick you out, man, but you’ve got a bad habit of taking stuff way past funny right into, well...”

“An actionable offense?” Harada offers, wry.

A blunt nail taps at his can, uncomfortable. “Yeah, that. It’s not good, bro.”

Something happens with Souji’s mouth. A lot of somethings, actually; subtle ones, hidden in the corners and tucked into the cheeks, the sort that happen between one blink and the next. Missable, save for the fact that Chizuru never looks away.

There’s a jut of his lip first, not a pout but its more serious cousin, the kind that’s like a levee to a deluge: one tremble away from a flood. A scowl next, never quite reaching his eyes; good practice for the smile that follows, curving into a smirk the way steel takes an edge: like it’s meant for it.

“All right, all right.” His hands raise up, too lax for a peace offering. It might stand in for a concession, if she tilted her head and squinted, but only a little. “So you’re all mad at me or whatever.”

“For good reason.” It’s a strong stance for Harada; he’s usually the one who’s quick to compromise, so long as it keeps everyone civil.

“Sure, right.” Souji shrugs, unconcerned. “I get it. But consider--” fabric whips out from behind a pillow, matte and black-- “this.”

Chizuru blinks. “Wasn’t that in...?”

Yamazaki’s closet, she doesn’t say. Not when he shakes it out, turning it from cloth to clothing, a whole jumpsuit with fussy embroidery picked out in an even darker black.

“What’s that?” Shinpachi scoots to the edge of his chair, squinting. He must not have his contacts in. “Some sort of ninja costume?”

She knows better than to turn, to draw attention to the statue suddenly sitting across the table, but Chizuru can’t help it, not when Souji is so quick to say, “It is.” There’s enough relish in his tone that she can taste it. “And it’s Yamazaki’s.”

There’s a pause-- for effect, she’s sure, considering the way Souji grins. Like he’s pulled off some magic trick, making his troubles disappear in one hand and then plucking them out from behind Yamazaki’s ear.

“So?” Harada snorts, unimpressed. “Are you surprised? He’s been a ninja for Halloween like, what? Three years running? Since I’ve been here at least. What next? Gonna pull a sexy firefighter out of Shin’s closet?”

“Hey!” A hand presses right over WELL, leaving HORNY and HUNG peeking out from underneath it. “I’ve branched out! This year I was a sexy soldier.”

“How can you tell?” Heisuke mutters, hunched shoulders making his chest even narrower, more concave. “You’re only wearing like half a costume.”

“We’re not talking about Nagakura.” With all the subtlety of a bomb, Souji drops, “We’re talking about Mr Kiss-Ass and how he has like, five of these tucked away for a rainy day.”

It’s been three months since Chizuru managed to insinuate herself into the house, but not once has it been quiet. Even in the night there’s something: Shinpachi snoring, Harada’s flings trying to find the front door, Heisuke up entirely too late typing up papers or-- more likely-- playing video games. Something. But now--

Now it’s a ringing silence that’s left in Souji’s wake, an awkward air that has every shoulder stiff, every eye finding somewhere else to look besides the place where Yamazaki sits, still as a stone.

Or at least, until Hajime slides forward, dexterous fingers smoothing over the raised stitches of the sleeve. “Oh,” he hums, impressed. “Your skills have really improved since your last attempt. I take it this is for next weekend?”

“Ah...” He swallows, loud enough that even Chizuru can hear. “Y-yeah. The new kunai were too heavy for the belt, so I thought if I remade that, I might as well add a few more quality of life adjustments, and, er...”

“Oh my god,” Heisuke breathes, quivering like a corgi at the end of his leash. “Are you a real ninja?”

A broad hand cuffs him on the back of his head. “C’mon,” Harada mutters. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”

If Yamazaki’s ears were painted pink before, they’re crimson now, hot enough to burn from touch alone. The square of his shoulders deflates, rounding with the slow leak of his confidence, but--

But Hajime simply nods, stroking his chin. “Perhaps I should look at my own as well. It hardly feels adequate next to all the work you’ve done.”

“Is this like...a sex thing?” Shinpachi’s eyes dart between the two of them. “It’s a sex thing, right?”

“No,” Yamazaki says, stern, immediately undermined by Hajime’s, “A little.”

It’s with a hefty heaping of betrayal that Yamazaki turns to him, glaring as he grounds out, “Absolutely not.”

Hajime’s mouth gives a dubious twist, and he opens it, perhaps to gainsay him, but--

But there’s no time, not when Heisuke practically explodes. “Are you a ninja too, Hajime?”

He blinks. “No.”

“Oh.” Heisuke deflates. “Okay, I guess...”

“I’m a samurai.”

“What--” Harada’s voice strains beneath the words “--is going on?”

“So let me get this straight.” Harada’s fingers pinch at the bridge of his nose, but by the wrinkle above them, Chizuru doubts it helps. “You two...dress up as samurai...?”

“I’m the samurai,” Hajime explains, so helpful. “Yamazaki is currently playing as a ninja. As he typically does.”

“You don’t have to tell them that,” he mutters. “That’s not really the point--”

“Right, of course, but...” Harada grimaces. “This is what you do on the weekends? For fun?”

A narrow shoulder lifts under Hajime’s tee, the closest he comes to a shrug. “An afternoon a month, to be more specific.”

“Once a month?” Heisuke asks, wide-eyed. “That doesn’t seem like a lot.”

“It takes a large amount of effort and dedication to keep up a long-form Live Action Roleplaying campaign,” he explains gravely. “That the organizers are able to run so often is a testament to their skill. And to run a weekend event--”

“So you mean you go there the whole weekend?” Heisuke blinks. “Like just forty-eight hours of samurai stuff?”

Hajime’s correction comes the same way as all his interactions: swiftly and without any judgment. “Seventy-two hours.”

Shinpachi goggles. “That’s a lot of fucking hours.”

“It is to aid with immersion.” Hajime isn’t a man of many words, but now he does not so much pause as he does breathe. “Unlike other games of its kind, Legend of the Five Rings does not focus so much on combat as it does internal conflict, and the robust worldbuilding--”

“This isn’t what they’re asking.” Yamazaki’s gaze darts wide-eyed around the table, never daring to stay longer than a blink. “You don’t have to--”

“--Is based on Sengoku Era Japan,” he continues, heedless. “As gratifying as it is to play on a regular basis, it really isn’t until a few hours into any session that people truly come to embody their roles. The court politics alone--”

“Saito.” Yamazaki may be seated at the opposite end of the living room, but his stare is enough to make even Hajime hesitate. “I think they get the idea.”

Harada looks between them, pained. “So are there...scripts or something?”

“No. Yes.” Hajime frowns. “It’s complicated. Each scene is improvised in character, but the organizers are present to facilitate the flow of the story. It is a collaborative effort.”

“But that’s it?” Heisuke asks. “You’re just like...samurai for a day? Or, er, three of them?”

“Yes.”

“And you do this--” Harada’s eyebrows furrow, pained “--for fun?”

Hajime doesn’t answer so much as cock his head, hands outspread as if to say, what else?

“That’s so...so cool!” Heisuke leaps to his feet, practically tripping over the table in his excitement. “Can I go? You guys gotta bring me!”

“What?” Harada blinks at him. “You want to go to this?”

“Uh, yeah?” His hands clench, too excited. “You get to be a samurai, Sano! Who wouldn’t want to?”

“Hey, so.” Shinpachi leans in, face pinched in curiosity. “Is this like...D&D or whatever?”

“In spirit,” Yamazaki creaks out, looking like death warmed over.

He nods. “Right, right. So like...a total sausage fest, or...?”

“The numbers on many tabletop games typically skews toward male,” Hajime explains, “but Live Action Roleplaying draws a higher percentage of female participants. Possibly due to the cosplay aspect.”

Shinpachi grins. “Oh, then count me in too, sensei.”

Harada stares at him. “Who are you?”

“What?” Shinpachi shrugs. “It’s math with babes. What’s not to love?”

“Ah...” Yamazaki waving hands don’t do much to hide his grimace. “I don’t really think this will be as interesting to you as you think...”

“He’s right,” Harada presses. “You may think it’s a good place to pick up women who aren’t afraid of, er, theoretical numbers--”

“They’re not theoretical,” Shinpachi huffs. “They’re real, it’s just the equations used to describe them are--“

“See? Already my eyes have glazed over.”

“I don’t know,” Chizuru hums, pitched just loud enough to be heard. “I think it sounds...fun?”

Yamazaki’s stare fixes on her. “Really?”

Even as a girl, Chizuru had never been one to play dress up, never been one to play pretend-- father didn’t approve, for one. Not when there were more direct benefits to be had from drilling flashcards or reading books. A second, her daydreams were vivid enough she hardly needed to act them out, not when Father was so apt to remind her, princesses don’t have to pass their medical exams.

But Yamazaki is as serious as they come, a TA for the dean of the pre-med department even before graduating. His acceptance to the medical school almost assured, and he finds this worth his time. Enough to have made a costume-- with his own hands!-- and sign up for a whole weekend away from his studies...

“Y-yeah.” She ducks her head, hoping to hide the heat that pricks at her cheeks. “I mean, as long as it wouldn’t be a bother for me to, um...”

“Ah, no! I mean, yes. Never.” Yamazaki shakes himself, pink staining the high arch of his cheekbones. “It’s not a problem.”

“Yeah, Chizu!” An arm clamps around her shoulders, dragging her against Shinpachi’s personal light display. “That’s right! Let’s all go. House field trip!”

Yamazaki’s jaw drops. “I don’t, er, know about that--!”

“Fine.” Harada sighs, getting to his feet. “If Chizuru wants to go. Count me in.”

“That’s the spirit!” Shinpachi claps him on the back, hard enough that even Harada has to cough. “Now, that just leaves...?”

“Uh-uh.” Souji’s arms fold over his chest, forbidding. “No way I’m going to your nerd party.”

“Aw, c’mon.” Shinpachi drops between them on the couch, arm pulling tight. “Think of it as a group bonding experience.”

Souji scowls. “What makes you think I care about bonding with any of you--”

“Well, if you’re going to be that way about it.” He squeezes tight enough to eke a squeak out of him. “Think about it as, ‘if you go we won’t tell Hijikata about you stealing shit.”

Souji glowers. “Fine,” he grumbles, shoving him off. “But I won’t like it!”

Shinpachi’s smile is all knives when he replies, “Wouldn’t expect you to.”

It’s dark when Chizuru stumbles out into the hall; there’d been daylight still when they’d piled into the parlor, but now night clings to the the edges of dusk, only enough light to gild the snow in golden shadow. It might bother her more if it wasn’t such a relief, a respite from having to scrape at the last reserve of her smiles. And so she takes it; one big breath and the muscles around her mouth slump, aching from use.

Any other night, she might worry about one of the boys following out behind her, but she can hear the ruckus shift from the parlor toward the kitchen, wheeled baggage and Shinpachi’s booming voice all tromping toward the back stair. Her day may have happened in fits and starts, but everyone else has been on the move, going from Christmas to short notice travel to fraught house meeting all within the space of hours. There’s no one who’s going to be worried about her.

Which suits her just fine. A few minutes lying face down on her comforter and she’ll be right as rain. Just a breath or two to herself, and--

Someone huffs behind her. Right behind her.

She whips around so fast, she nearly tumbles Yamazaki into the wall with her. Or at least his arm, half outstretched, now just hanging there in the air between them.

“Oh!” There’s no reason for her to shy back, but she does, guiltier with every inch. “Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to--”

“No, no. It’s my fault.” His hands aren’t large, not like Harada or Shinpachi, but the fingers are long and tapered, digging runnels through the shaggy bristle of his hair. “I should have-- ah, I mean, I just saw you, and er, wanted to make sure that you were all right. After, ah...all that.”

Her first instinct urges her to laugh, to let her nerves giggle out, there’s no need to worry about me--

But Yamazaki stares at her with the same careful intensity as he had in the kitchen-- you’re worth a good meal-- and Chizuru tries deflection instead. “I’m the one who should be asking you that! I went into your room without any permission and all, and Souji--” Yamazaki grimaces at the name “---I just...you have every right to be mad at me!”

“You?” he echoes, incredulous. “It’s not your fault, Yukimura. Okita’s the one who dragged you in there.”

She shakes her head. “I could have chosen to leave any time. I just was too curious to think to question him.”

“Curious?” There’s no inflection to the word, and with the shadows making a muddle of his expressions, there’s only the tilt of his head to tell here there’s a question. “Why would you be curious?”

“Ah, I’d just...never been inside before?” Her palms clap to her cheeks, and oh, she must glow from how hot her cheeks burn. “It’s silly.”

“It’s not! It’s just, ah...unexpected. I...” His mouth opens, as if he might say more, but with a lick of his lips, it closes instead. Or rather, his chin dips down and it follows, gaze dropping from her eyes to somewhere at her neck. As if...

“Oh, did I spill...?” She can’t actually remember what she’s eaten today, whether it could be something that she could walk around wearing, but Yamazaki’s already shaking his head.

“Ah, no, it’s just...you still have...” His fingers curl hesitantly in the air between them. “If you would let me...?”

Every twitching nerve of her stills as he steps close, fingers skimming past her shoulders. Only days ago she’d knotted his scarf, but it feels different now that he’s the one reaching, so close his hand meet behind her neck. He’s not bundled up now, no three layers of wool and thermal and parka to keep her from realizing that he smells nice, like...like something clean with a hint of eucalyptus, and it’s...

It’s a lot.

His fingers knit into the fabric at her nape, too slippery for him to find the end of it by touch. At least, the first time; he gathers it up, hiking it higher and higher until he can slide under it, the flat of his nails smooth and warm against her neck. Her pulse pounds so hard he must feel it, but Yamazaki doesn’t flinch, instead lifting it with surgical precision. The stretchy fabric threads right off her ponytail with no more than that initial brush of fingers, and she--

She stare. It’s the mask. The one Souji put on her. All this time, and she’s-- she’s just been wearing it, like some sort of...scarf. Right over her tanuki pajamas. In front of everyone.

In front of Yamazaki.

If she could melt into the woodwork, it would be a miracle. But as always, reality refuses to oblige her. “Oh, I hadn’t even...ah...”

“Please, don’t worry about it.” His fingers smooth over the fabric, mouth curving into a rueful smile. “It looked better on you than it does on me.”

“Ah!” Her gasp catches in her throat. “That’s not...um...” She hakes her head, hoping that might clear enough room for a sentence or two to compose itself. “I don’t think that’s true.”

Yamazaki glances up at her, amused, and oh-- she hadn’t meant to say that. Not like that.

“You know, I meant to...” He stops himself. Not abruptly, like she does, but a slow, thoughtful halt. Like a train pulling into a station rather than a car braking for a yellow light. “I mean, I don’t think I ever got around to saying it last night, and today, with everything...well”

He hesitates again, a breath hissing between his teeth. But this time his shoulders square, and even though his gaze is lost in the shadow of his brows, she knows he’s looking at her. “Merry Christmas, Yukimura.”

#yamachi #hakuouki #my fic #modern au #college au #If the Mind Is Willing #LARP au #FINALLY THE REVEAL IS HERE #writing a group scene with like six dudes is the absolute worst let me tell you that #and i have so many more of them to go next chapter #while having to explain an obscure tabletop game #BUCKLE UP KIDS IT'S TIME TO LEARN ABOUT BUSHIDO

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yorozuyaxxangelsxxicons · 8 months

Text

Gintama Sentence Starters: Serious Edition

Gintoki: "Sake sure is nice. You can forget all your troubles, if only for a moment. You'll have to remember them tomorrow, though. You can't run away from things like this. Especially... especially from the things you really want to forget." "Don't run away! You yourself have to change first, or nothing will change for you! You can't just run away, especially from the things you really want to forget!" "I couldn't protect them all. How many have I let slip through the cracks?" "Looks like we've been used." "Did you cook up the whole thing, ____?" "Stand up. If you've got enough free time to fantasize about your beautiful death... why don't you just live your life beautifully to the end?" "I'm going to live in a way that I think is beautiful, and I'll protect what I want to protect." "It wasn't really a burden. It was something important that you held with both hands, but you didn't realize it was there when you held it. I only realized its true weight after it slipped from my hands. I don't know how often I thought, 'I'll never carry this again.', but, all of a sudden, I'm feeling that weight again..." "Listen, I don't care what you guys do around the universe, but this is my sword, and anywhere it can reach is my country!" "Even if you lose all memory in your head, the ones engraved in your heart... and the ones that exist in your soul... will never disappear, no matter what happens." "Inside me, I have an organ more important than my heart. So that I can walk forward, without ever trembling. If I stopped here I feel like it would break... My soul would break." "Trying to shoulder the burden all by yourself? Don't be such a stranger. Weep and ask for help. Lean on me with your runny nose. Cry when you feel like crying. Laugh when you feel like laughing. When you're tearing up with an ugly face, I'll give you a good cry with an uglier face. When you're laughing so hard your stomach hurts, I'll laugh in a louder voice... That's how it should be." "The night is darkest just before dawn, but keep your eyes open. If you avert your eyes from the dark, you'll be blind to the rays of a new day... So keep your eyes open, no matter how dark the night ahead may be."

Shinpachi: "Why are you doing this? Haven't we done enough? Haven't we!?" "You're so unfair… Smiling brightly every single day, but you never show your true feelings in the slightest. Even if you're hurt or want to cry, you're forcing yourself to smile. Always without saying anything to anyone. You bear the burden alone, you decide alone and you end up smiling alone! Please stop forcing yourself! If you're hurt, then tell us!" "Talking about it won't change what happened. No matter how much we want it back, those days are long gone." "Why are you leaving again?! And we finally got to see you again! You're going to leave us, leave everyone behind and run off somewhere?! ____!"

Kagura: "People like you who care about other people are idiots. In the end, the idiots are just used. But I like those idiots better." "I'm sick of hurting people for money! Nothing tastes good this way!" "If you shoulder the burden alone and leave us behind…how are we supposed to be happy you saved our lives?"

Hijikata: "This isn't the kind of enemy where you can just enter his place and win the fight alone. You'll die." "I just... want to make the woman I love happy. That's... all I want." "I don't care if I lose an arm or a leg, as long as I am still breathing I'll keep fighting." "They don't need any sad words. All I can do for them is… keep fighting until I croak too… and give my best, like they did."

Okita: "I'm sorry. I truly am a useless. Right until the last moment, the one who snatched away your happiness was… me." "I've said this many times, your worst weakness is that you're too nice." "Some things in this world must be protected, even if it means getting your hands dirty."

Other: "I don't care about that gap you created on your own. I'll jump across it as many times as it takes, and punch some sense into you." "There was something I had to get my hands on... even if it meant dirtying them." "Forget your doubts. Your place has been with us from the beginning." "It's just sad, you know. I kinda liked you." "So... you were just playing a role, huh?" "Fond memories are painful... whether you keep them or let them go. If I'll suffer either way... I'd rather suffer trying to save it." "You see something in him, don't you?" "When a friend is crying, you should cry with him or her. When a friend is worried about something, you should hold your head and worry with him or her. If you're a friend, you can share any kind of pain with them. Also... if there is a time when a friend takes the wrong road... at that time you should, even if it ruins the friendship, stop them. That's true friendship." "It's all well and good to mother people, but you take it too far... You get used by people like me." "Too bad, just a little bit further, and you would've escaped." "Even though you cover your instincts with a paper-thin layer of morals... you looked like you were enjoying yourself when you were fighting."

#gintama #rp starters #sentence starters #my memes #I edited some of them if I felt like I needed to so I hope that's okay guys!

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shinsengumi-archives · 1 year

Note

I found the twitter account of one one Okita Mitsu’s descendants https://twitter.com/oki045/status/1259145304651083778?s=61&t=dgsv3BtuXS1AGH5aV7mp3A

Thanks for sharing this!

Okita Ikuo (沖田郁雄) is the great-great-grandson of Okita Mitsu. He actually really looks like that famous composite photo commonly mistaken for Souji 😅

According to this article, he’s the current head of the Okita family. His father was Okita Tetsuya (沖田哲也), a scholar of public administration, emeritus professor at the Faculty of Political Science and Economics at Meiji University, and Director of the Center for lnternational Programs (1, 2) focusing on Canadian Studies, who passed away in November 2000 (obituary).

From a quick Google search, according to Linkedin, Okita Ikuo works as a private secretary at the House of Councillors. After seeing other photos of him on his Instagram and Facebook, I think he kind of looks like these 2 possible photos of Okita Souji 😅

Here's what I learned from his tweets about the Shinsengumi:

He donated a photo of Okita Mitsu to the Shinsengumi Hometown History Museum in Hino. (source). “I wondered if I could have sent Mitsu back to her hometown. I don't really know if Hino was her true hometown, but at least she returned to the place where she spent time with Souji.” (source)

“There are no photographs or portraits of Souji.” (source)

“According to the scraps of lore passed down in the Okita family. Mitsu liked to gather people and have banquets. It's said that she gathered the "continental ronin" [T/N: Japanese who lived, traveled and conducted political activities in continental Asia from the early Meiji period to the end of World War II, in other words, colonists] at her son's house in Dalian and took care of them. Well, Souji was also helped by Yagi-san and other caretakers, so maybe she was paying it forward for their kindness to her brother. It's interesting to think about it.” (source)

Okita Souji was also fully-licensed at the Chiba Dojo. (source)

Okita Souji was a tall man for his time. (source)

It's been handed down in the Okita family that Souji used to slay people right after smiling and laughing in his daily life. (source)

“Inoue Genzaburo was not a good-natured uncle like he’s often portrayed in dramas. He was a staunch swordsman like a warrior from the Warring States period.” (source)

He confirmed that Okita was at Ikedaya according to the information passed down in his family (source)

“Kondo Isami vaguely dreamed that Hijikata Toshizo would reach Goryokaku and that the peasants and local samurai of Tama would decide the fate of the country. Ryoma acted early on with the awareness that commoners would become involved in politics. It was an awareness that Souji couldn't reach.” (source)

As a descendant of the Shinsengumi, he is deeply offended by the presence of Yasukuni shrine [T/N: this is the WW2 war criminal shrine, also enshrined members of the anti-Shogunate side who died during the Bakumatsu] for insulting and defaming the Shinsengumi. He believes State Shintoism is the pinnacle of cowardice for taking advantage of the fact that ordinary people would not sue (source). He would never visit Yasukuni because he’s a descendant of the opposing side, he’s Christian, he believes it would be better to thank those who had a higher mortality rate than the soldiers, such as transport crews, and he couldn’t forgive the suicide attackers. (source)

In the past, the Shinsengumi were portrayed as villains and didn't play a big role. Thanks to Shiba Ryotaro's novels, they became popular. He’s grateful as a descendant of the Shinsengumi. (source)

The families of the core members of the Shinsengumi were not descendants of Takeda Shingen's surviving vassals, rather vassals of Hojo. (source)

“As a descendant of the Shinsengumi, it is a family motto handed down from ancestors to beat off the "patriots" of the Meiji Restoration.” (source)

“Why does the Okita family, who is based in Tama, live in Tsurumi, Yokohama? That's because Tsurumi used to be a part of Tama.” (source)

“The Shinsengumi was a group of young people. I'm sure there were some serious historical dramas, but it couldn't have been without romantic elements.” He supports the idea of love stories involving Shinsengumi, and said this in response to someone making music for a romance novel series about the Shinsengumi (source)

Okita Souji’s descendants could visit his grave any time (source). For everyone else, it’s only open on the anniversary of his death. (source)

A crowd lining up to visit Okita’s grave on the anniversary of his death (source)

#shinsengumi #okita #descendants #translated #recommended

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rymayy · 2 years

Text

"Ever Since Then."

Note:

This is my imagination of what happened after the battle between Gintoki and Hijikata on the roof. Btw this is my first time writing a story in English language. I'd like to apologize for any mistakes that may exist in my writing.

So then, hope you enjoy this little story :)

*********

— A voice, familiar yet unfamiliar,

Piercing through my ears.

The moment I glanced upfront,

Those blue shiny eyes kept me from turning away,

And so I moved towards him,

Wondering who he might be,

the moment he spoke "It's you!" to me.

Ah, could he be...

"Oogushi-kun?"

"Who the *beep* are you calling Oogushi-kun?!"

-------------------------

"Oogushi-kun..." He grabbed his own silky silver hair, playing with it a little while his other hand is putting the JUMP he's been 'reading' to his stomach. He wasn't actually reading this whole time, instead he was just covering his face with it.

"Was it?" Gintoki flinched a little the moment he moved his body. The wound that Oogushi-kun, aka Hijikata Toshiro the Demon Vice Commander of Shinsengumi left on his shoulder opens up each time he carelessly move.

"It's not that deep but it does hurt..." Gintoki mumbled to himself as he lift his body up from the couch. He reached the opened beer can he left awhile ago and took another last gulp from the can.

"That Oogushi bastard, cutting me all he wants!" He sighed heavily after finishing the beer.

"What's wrong, Gin-san?" A soft voice alongside with the creaking sound of the wooden floor caught Gintoki's attention. Shinpachi and Kagura is standing on the entrance, holding some plastic bags on their hands. Probably some food for dinner and... there is no doubt, sukonbu.

"Nah, it's nothing." He replied while waving his right hand a few times, while the other hand is putting the can he was holding to the other side of the couch.

"By the way, Shinpachi. I will be skipping dinner tonight. You guys can eat by yourself." Gintoki stood up and starting to drag his feet towards his room. Honestly, for some unknown reason he doesn't have any appetite. All he wants right now is to lay down on his warm futon.

And probably because he's starting to feel a bit drunk after finishing the beer just now.

"Gin-san please don't just leave your trash like that and oh are you sure? There won't be any leftovers for you, you know? Kagura—"

"Huh? Got a problem with me you megane?" Kagura who's been silent as she is busy chewing on her sukonbu finally spoke in a monotone voice.

Gintoki pulled a little smile and without looking back, he convinced that he'll be fine without eating tonight. He can just go out and ask Otose for money to buy some food later, or maybe try his luck on Pachinko tomorrow.

He sat himself in his room as soon as he closed the door. Unconsciously, he let his mind wander. Thinking back about what Hijikata said to him while they were on the roof this afternoon.

"Ever since then, you've been on my mind."

He ruffled his own hair as he shut his eyelids close. But it didn't take long for him to open his eyes again. He was wrong for thinking that closing his eyes shut would make the image of that black haired man disappear, along with the annoying voice that has been playing inside of his mind for awhile now.

"Oi oi, what's this supposed to mean?" He shook his head, not believing himself for having these kind of thoughts. Another heavy sigh left his mouth. Tired of thinking, he finally decided to lay his futon out. It's better to sleep right now rather than having weird thoughts about that person.

Forgetting about his wound, he carelessly threw himself to the futon resulting him to scream out of pain.

"Ah! What?! Is this the start of something weird that is going to happen to Gin-san? Gin-san's been facing nothing but bad luck today, Gin-san is tired you know?" Gintoki whined before he slams his face into his pillow.

"Damn you, Oogushi-kun..." He whispered before he slowly falls into his dreamland.

— End.

#ginhiji #gintoki x hijikata #gintama #hijigin #hijikata x gintoki #ginhijigin #strawberries and cigarettes #ginhijifanfic #gintoki #hijikata toushirou

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hanashiz · 3 years

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#Gintama #hijikata toushirou #Hana fanartz #Whats better than having a smiling Hijikata?#A mini Hijikata!!#Mom I want him pls #I wanna bully him with love

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cornballl · 2 years

Note

Hello! How are you? Hope you doing well.

Can I get a NSFW request for how gin and hiji would act once they fine out their s/o get hot and bother at the idea of them picking them up?

Thank you!

Hey there!! I’m okay, my situation has gotten a lot better, but I still have my days u.u; I get my tax return tomorrow though.. and I am Ready for some Disposable Income :p

Anyways I hope this finds you well! This was fun to write ////

HijiGin’s S/O hot and bothered by being picked up (nsfw)

minors dni

Hijikata: He would absolutely use it as leverage against you.

He had you cornered. You were teasing him a lot that day, and once you were both alone, he finally confronted you. “You think you’re funny, huh?” You stared dead in his eyes; you didn’t wanna seem passive suddenly. “Yeah, I think I’m hilarious.” You deadpanned. He had this smile on his face that only meant one thing: he was fuming. You bit your lip trying not to laugh in his face and push it too far. He started to chuckle. “Fine. I’ll play your game.” You hardly registered what he said before you felt a firm tug on your wrist. He pinned you against the corner, pressing his hips against yours and holding your hand above your head. “You like this? Riling people up as a joke?” He looked furious, his face was dead calm except for a wicked smile. “I think you’ll find I’m a pretty funny guy.” His other hand started to caress your ass and thigh, itching to bring you closer. You didn’t wanna lose any of the momenta you’ve built up to this point; all you can do is keep taunting until one of you breaks. “You sure? The audience seems pretty dry right now.” You cleared your throat to disguise the shakiness. He was getting dangerously close to pulling all the stops; the other day, when coming home, he hugged you and scooped you up into his arms, and you got so flustered he promised to keep that detail in mind for future reference. The way he’s pressing his fingers into the back of your legs and ass, he’s rubbing and caressing and demanding your full contact. Your face started to flush; that’s when you felt strong arms wrap around your waist and lift you. You instinctively wrap your legs around Hijikata’s slim torso, locking him in close inches away from your glowing face. He kept staring with that look he always gave you when he wasn’t playing around. “Not another word.” His gaze went from demanding to lewd instantly. “And if you do, I know exactly how to keep the audience from disrupting.” He sneered those last words as he brought you down against his grinding hips. Jokes’ over.

Gintoki: Once he learns he’s never going back.

Gintoki is pretty handsy when no one is around. When it’s just the two of you at his place, you’re often cuddling. It was getting late; you both were nodding off, watching this random documentary on TV that night. “Hey, if you’re gonna be dozing off, we should head to bed.” He runs his fingers gingerly through your hair; you melt slightly under his touch and grumble a reply. “I’m too comfy, Gin. Let’s just crash here.” You roll over and face him. “Don’t be silly- it’s so cramped on this tiny couch. I love being close to you, but this kinda sucks.” His legs started to fidget restlessly. “C’mon.” He gently pushed you by the shoulders, but you went limp and intangibly complained. “Who knew you’d be lazier than me for once? Whatever, I’ll just carry your tiny stubborn ass.” You pouted unfazed by his comment. If only he’d tolerate a little bit of discomfort, you were savoring that moment. He slithered off the couch and towered over your body, curled in the fetal position. He picked you up, trying not to disturb you much. You nestled into his neck as he pressed you close to his chest. You cracked your eye and analyzed his features up close: his smell, his chiseled jaw, days worth of stubble slightly catch the light. You suddenly were very aware of his firm hands holding your thighs, your face began to flush. You couldn’t help but hide your face- you don’t want Gin to egg on you now of all times. “Did you pass out on me? Hellooo?” You spoke too soon. His voice was so low you could feel it rumble in his chest as he spoke. Thickly swallowing, you leaned into his ear, “I’m okay. Can you put me down?” You sounded meek, he noticed. “Oh? What’s the rush?” He cooed right into your ear, gravelly and sensual. You couldn’t help but mewl. “You’re that easy?” He sat you in his lap and you could feel erection against you. You couldn’t restrain the moans he’s been eliciting, holding you close and whispering coy sweet nothings into your ear. “This is gonna be fun..” He was never going to let you live this down.

#Hijikata Toushirou #hijikata toshirou x reader #sakata gintoki #sakata gintoki x reader #gintama x reader #gintama scenarios #gintama imagines #chu

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goldenkamuyhunting · 2 years

Text

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 306 “Suicide attack”

New chapter and it starts with... guess who?

Yeah, we start with the bear. Because what’s “Golden Kamuy” without one?

In fact the cover shows us how the bear is now entering in the first car, his blood still dirtying the locomotive.

I should probably praising the bear for not only surviving to the meeting with a train at full speed apparently with only some blood loss but also managing to get to the 1st car as the way isn’t exactly comfortable for someone the size of a bear but whatever. Anyway the bear after such meeting isn’t in a good mood and starts to slaughter the 7th division soldiers in a way that reminds me of the first “Golden Kamuy” chapters and of the unfortunate end of the so called ‘bear trio’ (Tamai, Noma, Okada).

Credits when it’s due Tamai Noma and Okada were much better than those guys because they ultimately managed to kill the bear (well, Okada wasn’t even killed by him but by a stray bullet shoot by Tamai so the credits go all to Tamai and Noma),with Noma giving it multiple stabs before the bear killed him and Tamai giving it multiple shoots before dying due to his own wounds.

Those 7th division soldiers prove again they’re sub standard by just getting killed by the bear, despite being many more than just Tamai and Noma, without really managing to affect the bear much.

Meanwhile, on his end, Sugimoto is starting to find hard to fight so many soldiers because FINALLY, someone told them they can attack together and don’t have to go one after the other. It took them time to get something so simple.

We don’t see what happens because the scene switches to Hijikata and Koito.

The bayonet gave Koito a big cut on his cheek. As for Hijikata, probably because he’s much more experienced than Sugimoto, he managed to block Koito’s strike without reporting any damage apparently by going down on his knee and holding his position there because if Tsukishima has a titanium skeleton, Hijikata’s muscles are made with steel and no matter how much Koito try to push his sword down, Hijikata doesn’t bulges… nor does Hijikata’s sword. So it’s Koito’s sword the one which breaks up.

Now… I don’t really pretend to understand the scene well.

In theory, if Koito’s sword broke, it should be in the contact point with Hijikata’s sword.

This would allow it to continue its run and hit Hijikata (if he’s in the trajectory of the sword) albeit with much less force than before as Hijikata’s sword has interrupted its run and so the blow should have lost part of its original kinetic energy even if Koito kept on trying to press his sword down to the point it broke. Anyway, as Koito was putting pressure on the sword until it broke, it’s clear his strike wouldn’t stop abruptly but continue now that there’s no more obstacles in its run.

However if what remains of the sword isn’t in collision trajectory with Hijikata the blow should continue on its track missing him and Koito would have to try to strike again which would take him time. We’re talking about seconds here, but in a sword fight those seconds are all that matters (Just to give you an idea one can draw out a Katana and attack in 0.6 seconds). In his previous strike he also took advantage of how he jumped, something on which he couldn’t rely now.

However the attention moves away from Koito’s sword (so we don’t get if it’s in a collision course with Hijikata or not) and the 2 next panel focuses solely on Hijikata.

The first shows Hijikata smiling as if the breaking of the sword had put him at advantage, and then he moves and tries to attack as well…

...but all this is interrupted when Koito slams his sword inside Hijikata’s skull.

Now, it doesn’t seem Koito had the time to raise his arms again and strike again… which would mean the remaining of his sword was in a collision route with Hijikata’s head and Hijikata’s attempt at hitting him once his sword disengaged with Koito’s due to the latter breaking was just this, an attempt as he would have never been fast enough.

So, Hijikata’s smile was misleading for us readers. The breaking of Koito’s sword wasn’t an opening, merely the signal of him going to meet his end because now, his sword couldn’t stop Koito’s anymore and he could never be fast enough to hit him before the latter would.

Still the scene isn’t exactly that clear so I might have misunderstood it completely and maybe Koito actually managed to deliver another strike. Personally I prefer if Koito managed to surpass Hijikata in speed and deliver another strike because, otherwise, his victory is merely a matter of luck.

Anyway, with the sword now deep in his skull, Hijikata’s legs give out and he falls sit while his arms also lose strength and he seems to let go of his sword.

Having survived to the battle Koito doesn’t bother paying him any respect, just worries briefly for his throbbing wound and then leaves, now unarmed because he’s not picking up Hijikata’s sword or a soldier’s rifle or, at least, a bayonet.

So... is this the end for Hijikata?

Well, getting a sword into your skull isn’t usually something you’ll survive to tell but Noda only devotes a panel at Hijikata before moving on with the plot...

...and the idea he would just handle like this the death of one of the most important players in the story doesn’t really sit well with me, so in theory there should be more later on. I’ve absolutely no idea how long you can survive with your brain split in two but maybe he’ll manage to until Nagakura joins them or he’ll have a ‘final dream’ before he dies.

Something like that.

So… Noda shows us the train from above and… no one is on the roof.

Did he forgot Ogata and Tsurumi were meant to be there? Did they got inside the train? Off of it? We don’t know.

Tsukishima shows he has somewhat stolen Sugimoto’s plot armour and, despite the grenade exploding basically next to his head, managed to gain cyborg 009’s high speed and hide under the seat of the train so he basically got away with some scratches (while every other soldier seems dead now… ah, the benefits of plot armour when you’re the closest to the explosion and the only one who gets out of it alive!).

In the middle of this disaster area Shiraishi encourages Asirpa to crawl forward further. Really, I don’t get why they don’t stay put, wait for everyone to die and then stroll forward once the area is safe. Whatever.

Anyway our Tsukinator has come to believe if he’s a T-800 model, then Ushiyama is a T-1000 and therefore his plot armour is stronger than his own so he can’t beat him but hey, if he doesn’t stop Ushiyama what about poor, innocent First Lieutenant Tsurumi/Connor, who caused his men to first get massacred on Fort Goryokaku and now on this train?

He’ll end up in danger so the what about self destructing to drag down the T-1000… pardon, Ushiyama as well? After all there’s just a conveniently abandoned and completely undamaged by the explosion hand grenade lying there…

Tsukishima, really, stop being so devoted to a man you’re aware only lied to you and the others to manipulate you all. Damn it, you even remembered him JUST AFTER HE STAGED UP FOR A SOLDIER TO LIE TO YOU SO HE COULD TEAR OPEN YOUR WOUNDS, not even after he came to jail to save your skin, what’s wrong with you, Tsukishima, please, this is unhealthy as hell, don’t die for someone who tears your wounds open for his own sake! At least do like Koito and worry for your men, the soldiers under you, not for Tsurumi!

Okay, not that Tsukishima can hear me so he predictably acts the worst way possible, grabs a hand grenade, removes the pin and hops into Ushiyama’s arms planning to slam and therefore detonate the hand grenade from that position. Only Koito gets in right then (and he’s already halfway through the car and why no one heard him? Whatever, Koito is fast) and, credits when it’s due, although we didn’t see him doing so previously, he actually has grabbed a weapon so really, kudos to him and, since Koito is there and he doesn’t want to watch Tsukishima become a human puzzle he orders him not to do so and moves closer.

As Tsukishima also doesn’t want Koito to become a human puzzle he hesitates (note how his irises stop being white and return being black) in detonating the bomb, complaining Koito never listen to him and, honestly, I get Koito hadn’t listened to him in many situations in which he was telling him the right thing but this time it was a beyond idiotic decision so I kind of understand Koito on this one.

Kind of because we shouldn’t forget they’re still in the middle of a battle with Ushiyama and Tsukishima can’t just remain there, hugging Ushiyama for dear life while dangling a grenade over it and not just because he would tire off but because Ushiyama would do something… which he does as he tosses both him and Koito away.

At this Tsukishima decides to throw the hand grenade at Ushiyama but misses rather badly and the grenade gets past Ushiyama and… near the spot where Asirpa is.

Asirpa curls around the land deed, planning to protect it and… Ushiyama gets in between her and the hand grenade, taking most of the blast.

The scene switches to… Edo era? Kyoto? In the night a lone man is standing in the city… only no, it’s actually in the train and the lone man is Hijikata who’s being converted into young age by the same ‘program’ that turned young Youichirou, in Youichirou the manslayer arc.

So either this is going to be Hijikata’s ‘death dream’ or he’s going to hallucinate himself young as Youichirou did and see the train as the Kyoto of his youth. Hard to say but I like to think this means, despite his wound which was clearly fatal, we haven’t seen the end of Hijikata yet.

Now no, Hijikata is not Sugimoto and there’s no Ienaga around to sew his brain back together so I don’t think he’ll survive but, as mentioned before, when Noda kills off a character he’ll give him some more space. They either have what I call a death dream or manage to say some relevant final last words. Since Hijikata got none of that through the whole chapter, Noda must be saving it for the next chapter because, otherwise, this final page would be a tad too little for an important character like Hijikata.

As for Ushiyama… Ushiyama has a strong plot armour but he’s rather close to the hand grenade and, what’s worse, to Asirpa and Noda might not want to miss exposing that poor girl to some more additional trauma so as to shave off more than 10 years of her life all in a single train ride. I don’t want to believe Ushiyama will die, I want to hope he’ll survive somehow and Noda hadn’t changed his plans for him but sure thing things don’t look easy for him, especially with how in previous chapters he said he would enter into Ainu tales which was kind of a dead flag.

So I’ll cheer for Ushiyama to live because someone who was willing to give his life to save a child deserve to survive EVERYTHING. But well… we’ll see.

#Golden Kamuy #Hijikata Toshizou #Koito Otonoshin #Tsukishima Hajime #Tsurumi Tokushirou #Asirpa #Shiraishi Yoshitake #Sugimoto Saichi #Golden Kamuy Ramblings and Theories #Ushiyama Tatsuuma

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horunicorn · 3 years

Text

Oya Oya

Hewwo :3 I have written much smut but this is my first time making it public. Sorry it came out so long. Feel free to point out any mistakes.

Warnings: choking, dominance

The fusuma slammed shut behind you, rattling the shōji across the room, after he'd pushed you rather roughly into his room at the Shinsengumi dorm. You were honestly surprised the kumiko didn't fall apart.

"What the hell, Y/N?"

You curled your lip up at him defiantly. "What?"

"Don't 'what' me," he warned, pacing to and fro in front of the door, clearly agitated. Then again, the man did have a short fuse. "Who gave you permission to hang with the Yorozuya bastard? Is that what you do behind my back?"

His accusation flipped your entire mood over. You were cheeky before; now you were pissed. What right did he have to point fingers at you? After all, he was the one who pushed you to do it. For three weeks, you had been patient while he worked. Of course, since he lived where he worked, it seemed like he was never free, always balancing his vice commander duties in and out of the headquarters. He did ask for your permission before going on cases, to make sure that you were okay with him doing overtime on certain days. And you always assured him that you would wait for him, no matter how busy some days could get. You always told him that it was okay to put his job first when he needed to. But that didn't mean he could take advantage of your understanding, did it?

The guy was smarter than most; he picked up on hints and cues effortlessly, especially if they were from you. So why had he been so oblivious to your subtle advances these past weeks?

"Who are you to tell me who I can or cannot be friends with?" you snapped back, temper flaring.

"You know very well who I am and what I can and cannot do," he answered, a little condescendingly.

"Yeah, well, you should also know that Gin-san gives me way more attention than you do," you uttered rashly. It was how you felt on the inside. After so many days of neglect by Hijikata, Gintoki's friendly affection towards you had you hooked in like fish to bait. Every smile and head smack he gave you fed your growing hunger for a man you couldn't get to and yet you still went on with it. You hung around Gintoki, longing for Hijikata, for something physical, just to take away the ache of missing the vice commander.

"What did you say?" Hijikata's tight voice betrayed the anger that was sparking inside him. The thought of you just being in Gintoki's presence was enough to provoke him. Confirmation that you let him touch you - nevermind if it was just playful shoves or shoulder bumping - flooded his vision with red. "You let him touch you?"

You scoffed at his ridiculous jealousy. "I'm not a slut. All Gin-san did was listen to me when I was alone. He kept me company."

True, you worked eight hours a day but the tiredness didn't mean that you didn't want to talk late into the night.

"Company, huh?" Hijikata crossed the room to stand in front of you so fast that you had to double check the spot he was previously at, just to be sure. He was a head taller than you. Now that he was all riled up, his presence was intimidating, especially since you had to look up to meet his eyes. "It just had to be him?"

You knew better. If you let him go on, you would have angry make up sex in seconds. This was a matter that needed talking through, not blind fucking. You pushed him away harshly, much to his surprise.

"We're not in a movie, Hijikata." Ah, using his family name when you were alone was never a good sign. "You can't just fuck me and be done with it."

A thought crossed your mind. Maybe it wasn't that he was busy. Maybe it was you who had done things wrongly. If you hadn't dropped all those stupid hints and just came straight forward with your needs, you needn't have had to feel the pain of ignorance from him. Your low self-esteem came racing back to you.

It was my fault. I didn't talk to him.

"I'm sorry," you choked out, turning away from him. Your sudden change in demeanor startled him but it wasn't something he hadn't experienced before.

Just like that, his anger melted away. He stepped towards you, pulling your reluctant form into his arms.

"You shouldn't have to apologize for anything," Hijikata sighed, one hand carefully cupping the back of your head. When his temper wasn't in the way, he saw things much clearer. "It was wrong of me to accuse you like that, especially since I know how much I've been neglecting you. I just didn't like the fact that of all the people to go to attention for, it was him." Hijikata said him with visible distaste. You relaxed against him, calmer now that he was no longer angry, that he had assured you it was not your fault.

"But I like him," you protested.

"Could you not like anyone else?"

"You hate everyone else, except the gorilla and he's infatuated with Otae-chan."

"Are you saying you'd go to Kondo-san if you could?" Hijikata teased, instantly lightening the atmosphere.

With that you ducked out of his embrace. "Please. I don't do stalkers." Hijikata was quick to catch you again though, this time from behind. He placed a gentle kiss to the shell of your ear.

"If you hadn't gotten caught today," he began, "I would have shown my appreciation for your patience in a different way."

"You have something planned?" you asked excitedly, happy that he had been thinking of you too.

"I did," he confirmed in the past tense. "But I can't get Yorozuya's stupid smug face out of my mind."

You knew all too well why. You knew that hanging out with Gintoki came with a punishment if you were caught. Before you could respond, Hijikata had a hand locked around your neck, with pressure not enough to choke but just enough that made swallowing difficult.

"Sometimes I think you let yourself get caught on purpose," he went on in a low voice, free hand travelling down your left arm and tugging it behind your back. He had you in a hold you didn't have any intention of breaking out of. Indeed, just the feeling of his hand on your throat had you weak at the knees, ready to be ruined by him.

"T - Tōshi," you managed, voice strangled by the hand on your windpipe. "Hard to... breathe."

"But you like this, don't you?" He purred. "You want to be choked like the little slut you are."

Oh, there was no denying how much his words were turning you on. Getting choked with his hand was good. Getting choked on his cock was better and you were more than eager for it.

"Choke... me with... your...cock..." Earlier misgivings forgotten, you wanted nothing more than for him to use you. It was all you had wanted since using Gintoki as a filler. His attention.

"Mm, I don't think so, baby girl," he murmured, finally releasing you from his hold only to take your hand and drag you down onto his futon. "I want to give, not take. And I expect thanks."

Translation: I will fuck you senseless and you will be vocal about it.

"Dont you think you can punish me better if - " Your question was cut short by a gasping inhale. Hijikata had somehow managed to loosen the knots of the date-jime that held your nagajuban and kimono together amidst everything and was now shamelessly pushing his fingers between your damp labia, hand disappearing in the folds of the cloth. Immediately, your hips moved up, asking for more when he'd barely begun. He murmured an amused "oya oya" upon finding the absence of underwear on you.

"I think you've been wetter than this, haven't you?" Deviously, Hijikata poked two fingers into your hole without any warning. There hadn't been much foreplay but could you really complain when you were swallowing his fingers like the greedy whore you were? He pulled his fingers out along with your arousal and spread it over your clit, rubbing in tantalizing circles, like a taunt.

"You're going to tease me," you stated, breathless already.

"Just for now," he promised, the sensitive nub slipping between his pointer finger and middle finger. Your nerve endings fired, sending thick coils of pleasure up your body. Again, your hips moved up.

Hijikata chose that moment to take his hands off of you. He sat back on his heels, hands placed perfectly on his lap. Disheveled and disgruntled, you forced your pleasure-weak body into motion, sitting up with your kimono loose around you, one side sliding down to bare a shoulder.

This was no dream: your body had flaws everywhere. Beauty marks on your skin, scars from being clumsy, skin that wasn't silky smooth or creamy white. You felt very small when you walked past some women on the streets but Hijikata always made you feel perfect. He loved every one of your imperfections, which encouraged you at times like these.

"Frustrated?" he smirked and you wondered just what he was playing at. Unbothered, you knee-walked closer, until you were parked right in front of him. Your hands grasped at the lapels of his uniform jacket. The familiar musk of cigarette smoke wafted up your nostrils, further turning you on. His gaze was hot on you; you could feel it despite not looking at him. Deliberate in your movements, you pushed the jacket off then proceeded to unbutton his vest and undo the knot of the white scarf around his neck. You were busy working on his shirt when he caught your hand, bringing it up to his mouth.

The contact of the softness of his lips against your skin made your thoughts fuzzy. His stare lingered on you and your restraint broke. You crashed your lips into his, claiming your pleasure, trying to pacify your desire for him. He indulged you, using a hand to hold your head steady. You kissed and kissed until there was no more breath to breathe between the both of you.

Hijikata pulled back first, dragging a thumb across your lower lip. It was such an intimate move, hinting at the lust he had for you; that was all it took for you to go into full 'I need you now' mode. Impatient, you shoved him back and shimmied up his body, brazenly rocking your hips, smearing your arousal onto his white shirt. Obviously, he felt your dampness through the material and gripped your hips to stop you from moving. The sight of you grinding above him was too much for his already tortured mind. Everything had to go. Now.

Soon you were balancing above him, the tip of his hard cock pressing at your slick entrance. You braced your hands on his broad chest, breath controlled as you slowly sat down on him, the length of him sliding into you inch by inch until your ass touched his lap. The sensation of him in you never failed to make you moan. His girth, his length, everything was just enough to fill up your tight hole.

"My sweet girl," Hijikata murmured, eyes half lidded. "I'd nearly forgotten how good you feel around me." He held onto your hips. "Move for me."

At his demand, you lifted yourself off and back down again, whimpering at the discomfort. Yeah, he was definitely big. Without your weekly routine, your body needed time to get used to him again. It didn't take long, though. Hijikata's soft encouragement and touch had you thirsting for more in no time. You got used to the stretch, gaining momentum and confidence as you moved. No longer did it sting; there was nothing but pleasure with the way you had him sliding in and out of you. Every time you rose left his cock slicker than before, layer upon layer of your arousal coating him.

When your legs got tired, you resorted to bouncing, biting your lip when your ass slapped against his skin in the sexiest way. Hijikata was in awe beneath you. His blue eyes were dark, lips parted in heavy breaths. First his eyes fixed on the way he was entering you, on the way your sweet pussy just swallowed his cock. His rough hands roved up your stomach, fingers dancing over your jumping breasts. That was the second thing he stared at. The soft mounds of flesh on your chest that bounced along with you made his cock twitch. Then he looked at your face. At the way you bit your lip, the pleasure in your expression. Suddenly he wanted nothing more than to dominate you.

The feeling swept over him. Having you on top was incredible, especially since he knew you could control the depth and angle of his entrance. But he needed to have you his way. He couldn't yet explain why.

You cried out in surprise when he sat up abruptly, forcing you to remain still on his lap. You pressed your chest to his, feeling him move along with you, in you. The movement brought on a whole new sensation that made you scratch his chest with a low moan.

"Can he do that?" Hijikata asked, voice thick with lust. And something else. He knew now why he needed dominance over you.

"Who - What?" You couldn't register his words and the meaning behind them at first, not until he flipped you both over in a practiced move and he rolled his hips into you, hitting every unclaimed spot within you. Your legs came around his hips.

"Can that silver haired idiot do this? Make you feel this good?" He pulled back slightly, only to plunge back into you with a jolt that pushed another moan from your mouth.

"N - No. Tōshi..."

Hijikata pulled at your hips, angling your lower body upwards and began thrusting into you, going deep and hard each time. He knew very well that at this angle, each slide of his cock was sure to brush your g-spot. And each time his pelvis met yours, the head of his throbbing cock would carass the tip of your cervix, making you buck your hips even further up.

Seeing you this way only fuelled his unneeded jealousy for a rival that was hardly a threat.

"I bet he can't," he agreed gruffly. "He doesn't know your body, does he? Doesn't know how my baby girl likes it. Tell me." Hijikata drove deep, pushing his own hips up. You choked on a moan, hands tight around his wrists. "Who's making you feel good?"

You were unable to answer, eyes in danger of closing, body on the brink of orgasm. As if fucking him wasn't hot enough. No, jealous Hijikata was even better. His need to hear your verbal confirmation of just how good he could drill you was heightening the entire experience.

Hijikata wrapped a big hand around your throat, forcing you to meet his steely gaze.

"Who?" he demanded.

A lone tear rolled down your cheek and you knew once you opened your mouth, you'd be begging. "Y - You, Tōshi. You're making me feel good. Fucking my pussy so good."

He smirked in satisfaction. There was no need to hold back now. With demonic speed, probably living up to his title, Hijikata slammed into you, hips snapping back and forth furiously. He hadn't even gotten to rub your clit yet and you came undone, pulsing around his cock, sinful moans falling from your mouth along with his name.

"One more time," he urged, tempted to stop and savour the way you were contracting around him. Snug in your warm wetness. He was close. Too close to stop. He spit on your clit and rubbed it in tight circles, coaxing yet another orgasm out of you. This was too much after the first and his name left you in screams, your body spasming, legs jerking. The sight of you being ruined by him did it. A few more thrusts and he fell on top of you, hugging your trembling body close as waves of pleasure crashed over him. He bit your shoulder, hard, enjoying the feeling of his seed leaving him and filling you. The others might not be at the sleeping quarters but you doubted that your screams hadn't reached the main block.

Once you both felt calm enough to move, Hijikata carefully extracted himself from you, using his scarf to wipe off any semen that came leaking out of you. You laid your head on his clammy chest.

"I'd never cheat," you said blatantly.

Hijikata pushed a hand through your messy hair, staring up at the ceiling. "I know. I just... wish I could have been there for you. I know it's not fair, having to always put up with my work."

"You're here now." You turned your head to smile up at him and he returned it with one of his own rare ones. The kind that took your breath away and reminded you of how different he could be around you. "Won't the others be looking for you?"

"Let them," he sighed. "I've been long overdue for a day off anyway." There was a brief pause, as though he were thinking things over. "Can I take you out?"

Your heart skipped a beat, delighted that you both could finally spend quality time together. Not that mindless fucking wasn't fun but normal couple stuff had to come in somewhere.

You smoothed your hand over the skin on his chest, loving how only you were allowed to touch him this way. "Yeah, you can."

#gintama #gintama smut #hijikata toushirou #hijikata x reader #smut #dominance #fanfic #gintama hijikata #shinsengumi #toshi x reader #hijikata #lemon #oneshot #gintama oneshots

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claudeng80 · 2 years

Text

Must be good coffee

For @onedivinemisfit, inspired by her Iba in a tie.

The office you work in is not a quiet one. Even if Harada and Heisuke were to give up their epic cube basketball rivalry and Nagakura could be convinced to leave the radio off, even if the cleaning staff would stop screaming when Saito silently appears next to them with a polite request, even if Okita could be convinced that compliments get better results than threats, Mr. Hijikata would still be your boss. He spends most of the day on the phone, in his office with the door closed, and yet the thunder of his voice rolls across your cubicle most of the day.

Until it stops. You look up from the endless pile of receipts layering your desk- you wonder how Mibu Holdings kept track of anything before you arrived- and are met with an odd crowd of backs. Perhaps something interesting is happening down on the street below. Perhaps Heisuke finally perfected the backward eyes-closed three-point basketball trick shot that’s been knocking over Inoue’s coffee twice a day for the last week.

But either of those options would have Mr. Hijikata out here shouting at the troublemakers to get back to work, not laughing. It’s a real laugh, too, not the chuckle he tries to suppress when his more rambunctious coworkers get into a scrape he really shouldn’t be encouraging or the snicker he shares with Mr. Sanan over the missteps of their competitors. The crowd parts, and suddenly it’s obvious what would send all work into a tailspin: Mr. Iba is visiting.

Iba’s eyes close when he laughs. “No, no, I just stopped by for coffee,” he insists. That’s what he always says; he works somewhere else in the same building, and to hear him tell it, their coffeemaker is the worst.

You take it as a compliment, since you’re the one who cleans and refills the Mibu machine. It’s shiny and new- a surprise upgrade courtesy of Mr. Hijikata after you arrived- and makes fantastic coffee, and best of all it’s a breeze to clean. Not that you’ll ever tell anyone else that- Yamazaki might know, because you suspect he’s cleaned it himself a few times, but he won’t spill your secret- because it’s the closest thing you have to job security. The rest of your job consists of this: open database, insert numbers. Repeat forever. One of Okita’s smarter cats could probably do your job.

Hijikata shoos the others back to their desks- no wonder everybody likes Iba, when Hijikata’s like this around him- and slings an arm about Iba’s shoulder to drag him into his office. Iba’s calling promises back all the way- “Nagakura, I’ve got a policy analysis you should read, I think you’ll be impressed. Heisuke, I’ll try the shot next time, okay?”

Heisuke’s “You’d better!” rings in the relative silence after Hijikata’s door closes. Everyone filters back to their cubes, and the background hum of typing and rustling papers picks up again. It’s music to your ears, and you straighten out your receipts and get back to work.

You’re deep in trying to interpret a faded rental contract from three years ago when a shadow falls across your desk. You look up- it would not be the first time you missed closing time and the sun set on you- but it’s not late. It’s Iba, poised just outside your space, smiling. “It’s good to see you again,” he says.

“It’s nice to see you too,” you say, a little confused. You pop up to your feet like a cubicle meerkat, but standing he’s still so much taller that you have to tilt your head just to have a conversation. “The air of the office is so much nicer when you visit.”

“Is it?” He runs a hand through his hair, sweeping it out of his face. “Everyone is so nice here, it’s hard to believe-” He trails off, and two thick locks of his hair drop back into his face. You’ve been introduced before, but he’s Hijikata’s college friend. He’s vague about what he does for a living, but it’s certainly something more glamorous and important than data entry. “I heard there’s a new patisserie open just a block away.”

He pronounces the word with all the French sounds you have no idea how to make. There’s leftover noodles at home for you tonight. But you don’t volunteer that information, and he keeps going. “Would you like to join me after work tonight, to try it out?”

You can’t help yourself; you glance behind you, just to make sure there’s nobody else Iba could be speaking to, but all you see is a bowl of dusty pushpins and a copy of Okita’s fake memo mandating capital punishment for tardiness. There’s no question but that Iba is inviting you out. “Oh, that would be nice! I haven’t had pastry in-” You can’t remember. It was sometime before your father left, sometime before you had to make it on your own and luxury meant brand-name instant ramen. “A long time,” you finish.

His smile is dazzling. It’s hard to imagine what you could have done to earn that, but you bask in the glow like sunlight. “My treat, then,” he says, and you’d like to argue because you do actually have income now, but there’s something about the way he says it that makes you feel he’d be disappointed if you did. “I’ll meet you back here at 1730?”

“That will be nice,” you say, and you’re screaming inside because nice is apparently the only word in your head when he’s in front of you, but he doesn’t seem to mind at all. He all but bounces as he turns to leave, and even the air seems to sparkle slightly where he passed as the door slowly swings shut behind him.

You stare after him, half certain he’ll walk right back through and cancel, he must have meant to invite someone other than you, and half dreaming of cake.

The sound of a throat clearing breaks your reverie, and Yamazaki’s watching you with one sardonic eyebrow raised. You drop into your office chair with an undignified wheeze, cheeks burning as you lean back in to your mountain of paper. The database won’t populate itself, and you need to be done on time today.

#fanfic #modern au hakuouki

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pseudofaux · 3 years

Note

im so not very used to asking for things from people so this is quite new to me but since it'll be your last open request, I figured I'd give it a go! May I please please pretty sweet potato beni please request for a Drabble, either Nanamin, Comte or Hijikata-san getting down and dirty with their gloves on, but MC begs for them to take it off for maximum feeling. THANK YOU PSEU THE WILDER, HOTTER FILTHIER THE BETTER but whatever comes to you im sure will be beautiful bc your work is amazing

N A N A M I

F I N G E R S :D

Thank you Beni!!! Please enjoy! ♥️🙇🏻‍♀️

(Requests are closed, but I have a lot more to fill in July! Feel free to follow along or just read whatever you like. A masterlist will be posted when all the requests are completed.)

He’s careful with you at first, that’s just his way. He relaxes into each encounter (sometimes a little faster if you pour him a drink with dinner), but by now you know that he needs to see you relax first, needs to see your comfort with him. Your desire for him. And thankfully, those are things you can give him in spades. No one has ever touched you so well or bent you so completely, not your body or your entire needy soul, like Nanami does when he takes you to bed.

So usually you let him romance you and see how relaxed you are in his care. You see him relax, too. That angular face of his is home to the most beautiful hidden smile you think anyone will ever discover, and you love that you’re a person who gets to see it when he’s home and happy. On weekends you see it at breakfast—sometimes it turns into brunch because he needs to sleep in— and you make sure to gently kiss his cheek when you catch it.

Your life together is happy and full of care, and mostly it is gentle (aside from those back bending sessions, and it’s not like you don’t enthusiastically ask him for those). It’s certainly the best adult relationship you’ve ever had. He’s mature and grounded and his work is mysterious but he is always home on time and the one time he wasn’t, he called and told you there was a train delay. You already trusted him, but you checked. There was a train delay. There was actually some kind of major explosion at the station, and you’ve always attributed how far he seemed to downplay it to his… generally modest nature. Because he’s like that. Modest and trustworthy.

One day you have to be the one to call and tell him you’ll be home late. Train delay. The signage at the station is in terrible shape and you wonder if you missed some alert on your phone because there is no one else even around the station entrance. So you call Nanami and tell him you’ll walk home.

He asks if you want him to meet you, and you say no.

It’s not five steps later that you regret it. A sense of dread so deep you feel like you are going to gag settles on your shoulders and slides down your back until you are running. Why is no one around, why is the street so empty and dark? There’s a chittering sound right behind your heels. You know better than to look. You just run until you are through the door of your apartment building. You’ll never regret this building and its revolving door, like an old hotel. Once you tumble out into the lobby, it’s quiet and you have a sense of… peace.

You still keep your back against the wall of the elevator and your keys slotted through the gaps between your fingers. You still aren’t breathing normally by the time you get to your floor. As the elevator doors open, Nanami is right there opening the stairwell door in some perfect choreography. Right then he’s even better than the revolving door of the lobby; you like him more than any door in the world. Nanami must have been taking the recycling to the cubicle in the stairwell, he’s still in his suit and the brown close-cut gloves he sometimes wears for work, but doesn’t have his briefcase.

“What’s wrong?” he demands immediately. He takes the longest strides you’ve ever seen to get to you, and as soon as you’re out of the elevator he puts his hands on your shoulders and peers into your face with a deep frown. “I thought you were going to walk.”

“Inside,” you grit out. Your teeth are chattering. He pulls you to the safety of the other side of your apartment door and you sag against him, hands holding his sleeves so you don’t collapse entirely. You’re appreciating the slight, well-hidden give of his chest beneath your forehead when the lock clicks itself closed, and you nearly sob with relief. You don’t feel okay yet, but you do feel safe. Safer.

“You need water,” he says. You shake your head. What you need more than anything right now is to stay close enough to touch him, and you don’t think you can walk to the kitchen. Your deep breaths pull the delicate remnants of his cologne into your nose and you try to let it calm you down. You really do try. But it doesn’t work.

“Make me feel okay,” you begged. “But don’t leave me, even a little. Please, I— I’m really shaken up.”

Nanami tips your chin up. His expression is pained and apologetic, and it makes your heart hurt. For a moment he just stares at you, like he’ll be able to see what happened if he just looks at your face long enough.

“Take off your skirt,” he says softly. Your still-sweaty fingers slide off the zipper tab, then finally get it down. His hand squeezes yours and lifts you away from the tiny metal pull. “Stockings, too,” he says. There’s the soft rumble in his voice that usually keys you up like nothing else, but you are still so unpleasantly keyed up from whatever chased you home that any sound of his voice is soothing just because it proves you’re not alone. Right now he’s your lighthouse in a tan suit and godawful tie, your bonfire under a new moon at midnight.

It takes you a couple tries, but you get them pulled down and you step out of the stockings, your shoes, and the skirt. The hem of your blouse drifts free around your hips. You love this shirt, it’s your favorite, but the way it is touching you freaks you out just then, reminding you of chattered sounds you only understood as threats. Your hands hover over the end, not sure what to do.

“Leave it,” he says. “Nothing got you. That’s all you need to think of right now.”

“Please touch me,” you beg, looking at his face. His concerned scowl is so normal and comforting you want to pass out. “I want to think of you right now, but I’m still scared.”

You can see the way he frets at one of his back teeth with his tongue, because that angular face you love doesn’t give him any leeway to hide such a tell.

“…Let’s go to the table,” he says. He steps back and holds out a hand for you, still gloved. He must have gotten home not long before you. The kind romance of the gesture makes you whimper and you hate yourself for it, but it’s such a relief. When you’re in his care, you don’t think anything can hurt you. He takes so little shit. You’ve never seen him fight but you have never met someone so solid. You know he could fuck someone up if he wanted to.

What you want him to do right now is fuck you up, nicely, until your body sleeps. Because that’s all you’ll be able to do. He’s given you that kind of fucking a few times, mostly when work seemed to stress him out. Not that he ever said. You simply noticed the tightness of his hands and jaw.

“Up,” he says gently, patting the black surface of the table where you share your meals. “Lay back.”

Oh. That’s promising… but still.

“Please don’t go away,” you beg. His expression goes back to that pained, apologetic sweetness.

“I’ll be right here,” he assures you. “Not going anywhere.” He touches your thigh and a jolt of desire from that contact zings through you. “I’ll keep my hand right here while you move. So for now… move.”

His voice reminds you of a zookeeper’s. And you do feel more like an animal than yourself. You hoist yourself up onto the table—“I’ve got my foot on it,” he assures you— and look to him like a domesticated jungle cat who needs guidance. You do.

“Lay back for me,” he says gently. “My hand is still right here.” He moves it down your thigh a little, and it makes it feel safer as you put your back on the table. He hasn’t even had time to set it for dinner.

Augh, the thought of food makes you sick.

“What?” Nanami asks.

It’s a struggle, but you get out the words in a halting monologue. “Nauseous. Something… chased me. I don’t know what it was. But I knew if I turned around to look I wouldn’t ever be able to look forward again.”

He makes soothing noises while you speak, but doesn’t hush you. He’s only ever hushed you once. (It was at a movie.)

You’re all shaky again. You do feel safe now that Nanami’s here, and where he holds your leg your body doesn’t even try to tremble. The rest of you is panicked somewhere in the back of your brain and you can’t free yourself, even though you’ve managed to tell him.

“I’ll look into it,” he promises. His voice is even more gravely and solemn when he adds, “This should not happen again.”

And even though those statements open up a trapdoor over many, many questions about his already mysterious job, you just nod and gratefully whisper a thank you.

“Until then,” Nanami says, “You said you wanted me to touch you.”

He keeps the hand on your leg, but his other hand gently touches and then slides up your other thigh. All the way up.

“This response is very normal,” he says compassionately. It’s discordant against the way he’s stroking you so directly, but whether it is normal or not, you have never wanted his gentle voice and the feel of him so badly. “What you are asking me to do may feel more intense as a result.”

He’s the oddest kind of dour: no nonsense but so, so kind.

When you realize he’s waiting for permission, you nod.

“Good,” he says, and eases your panties to the slide so he can trace your exposed slit with a careful drag of touch. You swear you can feel the seam of the glove following the curve of the end of his fingertip. You will ruin the material at this rate, and Nanami is usually so mindful to take good care of his things. Right now you’re glad he is taking good care of you.

You feel arousal ooze out of you, right onto his waiting finger. You don’t know if it’s because you’re relaxing or if this is the intensity he warned about. There is no time to be embarrassed when he uses that slippery, gloved fingertip to nudge one of your pussy lips aside just like he did your panties so he can tease your weeping cunt.

“Hold your underwear,” he directs. You do.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he says. And he keeps his hand tucked between your legs as proof when he sinks to his knees in front of the table.

“Everything your body is doing is a natural response to adrenaline,” he reminds you. You’re trying to puzzle out why he’s repeated himself when he easily slides his finger in and puts his tongue on your clit.

The abruptness of it makes you yelp, and he—tersely but not unkindly— reminds you of your “Neighbors,” before he slips another finger in like he should have done in the first place, if your body has anything to say about it. He’s fastened his lips to your clit now so you thrash a little, but it’s not like you want to disturb the people on your floor, and you definitely don’t want to get away. You never want to get away from him going down on you. Your memories of the rare occasions when he’s rumbled a few words right against your wettest flesh are what you use to get off when he’s away for days.

You didn’t know what to make of his directness the first times he touched you, but you’ve come to love it since the first eye-widening orgasm he gave you. He warms you up now by touching just shy of your g spot, rubbing a circle that flirts with your sensitivity. You know he knows where it is, he’s just trying to ease you into it. This man…

The material of his glove gives a different friction than you are used to. Even wet, it’s not the same as his finger. Not bad, but not what you want right now. You need real contact.

“Nanami,” you beg, using both hands to open yourself for him. “I need to feel you. You.”

He stills and mutters something, his hot breath making you shudder. But he seems to understand what you’re saying, because he slowly slips his fingers out of you, caressing your top wall the entire time. When he’s out, he presses the back of his hand against yours, still holding your panties aside for him. “Stay there,” he murmurs. The depth of his voice holds you down as firmly as his arms could. You’re not going anywhere, you’re just clenching around nothing and trying to hold onto that twinge in your belly his direction gives you.

Nanami releases your leg but keeps his hands so close you can feel his warmth as he pulls off the glove that was just inside you. He gently touches the mushy entrance of your pussy and then slides his fingers back inside, bare this time, and it’s exactly as erotic as the first time he fucked you without a condom. It’s just him, skin skin skin, the slip of his slender fingers. And all the power of his touch. You moan his name and he chuckles in that modest way of his.

He stands, fingers still inside. He leans over you, and the closer his body gets the more he curls his fingertips up against your front wall. Your mouth is open when he kisses you. Nanami’s kisses are firm unless he’s just woken up, and he’s been awake the entire day so this is forceful and enough to make you moan right into his mouth. He sucks it in and takes your bottom lip in his teeth, gently fierce. He pulls until you’re whining for him and then he releases the bite and shoves his fingers in, hard, making sure they’re up against the spot where he’s been suggesting touch.

You get a few thrusts of his fingers, then he pulls them nearly out of you and does that flirting again, touching only the side of the area where you’re so sensitive. “Open your eyes,” he murmurs.

His other hand slides up between your bodies, skimming over the blouse and bleaching out all the weirdness that lingered in it. He makes it right. And then he makes everything so, so right when he brings the hand to his mouth and bites the tip of a finger. It must be harder than the way he bit your lip, because it’s enough of a hold that when he pulls his hand away, the glove stays in his teeth.

“Breathe,” he tells you after he drops the glove. It lands on your throat and slides against your skin like his palm sometimes does when he’s kissing you in bed.

You’re going to melt beneath him on your dining room table, or maybe combust. Your eyelashes flutter so erratically that you see the world like an antique film.

“Breathe,” he repeats, finally touching you right where you want him. His precision is devastating.

Air whooshes out of you and you suck in fresh oxygen on a gasp as he rocks his fingertips info and away from your g spot. He makes it feel so gentle and warm as he stimulates you right where it does the most damage and brings you the most bliss.

You keep holding your panties out of his way, but you bring your other arm up and throw it around his back. He doesn’t let you bring him down. “Nanami,” you say, already breathless and fucked-out sounding. “Nanami.” You absolutely crave his touch right now. The safety and pleasure of it are all you need, and then you’ll finally be able to relax.

“Still right here,” he murmurs. He’s still so calm but his words are confident, almost a purr. “Come so I can draw you a bath. I’ll sit with you.” And then his hand pushes the glove off your throat so he can hold it instead, and he gives you another kiss, firm and dependable.

So you do as he says. He’s so trustworthy.

So tempted to turn this into a series where all the JJK grownups finger you.

#jjk fanfic #jjk fanfiction #jjk nanami #kento nanami #beniiiiiiiii #pseu slings

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 3 years

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Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Harada Chapter 5

This is my first post of the month, so I’ll start by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share…. and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me…

well... i mostly drove op.3 and souma-hen out of my head with some of the original hakumyu musicals. i had to re-rip all of my hakumyu cds since the files got lost cuz my passport stopped working... then i started to distract myself by listening to the Kazama-hen soundtrack and a bunch of BGM tracks from Saito-hen, Hijikata-hen and Reimeiroku, which resulted in way more music being stuck in my head. lol *insert pitiful laugh here*. maybe i’ll finally be able to motivate myself into finish my score for kazama-hen’s yaisa this time around (it’s hard to stay focused on a +10 min song that’s reaaaaallly not meant for the piano though i was able to match most of the notes to when they played when compared to the actual song starting from the 4th measure, which i consider to be insanely good considering how there are 333 freaking measures or roughly 46 pages in my damn score. still need to fix a number of sections though)... and i know ive done a ton of procrastinating on it.

anyway, enjoy~!

oh, and i have one non-hakuoki translation planned for this month (next week).

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Harada Chapter 5

Translation by KumoriYami

After a short walk down the corridor through headquarters, I stopped when I reached the room for the Tenth Division [reword later?].

Yukimura: Speaking of which/Anyway, Nagakura-san did say that he was apologize to Harada-san for getting him wrongly accused of stealing sake.

I didn't know if Nagakura-san was already here......?

I stepped into the room.

What immediately came into view was the sight of Nagakura-san pressing both of his hands together to apologize.

Shinpachi:——That's how it is! Sano, I'm sorry! I didn't expect for for this to happen!/things to get to this point/develop to this stage!

Harada:......In other words, I was almost banned from going out because of something that you did? Shinpachi.

Shinpachi: We-Well...... if you look at the outcome, it should be fine...... right......

B-But, that’s it. I just put the sake in your room because I wanted to share some delicious sake with you——

It was just bad luck that things ended up that way... [i think?]

Harada: I get it, I get it. I know exactly what happened.

Harada:......But, for me to have been accused without any/for no reason, it's not to much to think that I'd lose my temper, right?

Harada-san cracked his fingers as he spoke.

He was smiling, but his eyes weren’t happy at all.

Shipnachi: U-Uwaaah...!. calm down, Sano! Why are you hitting me!

Harada: Shut up! You should be thankful that I'm just hitting you!

It seemed that Harada-san was quite furious as he looked genuinely angry.

What should I do......!?

Stop Harada-san <-

Evacuate/Get away

Yukimura: Pl-Please calm down, Harada-san! You can't use violence/Violence is not allowed/Don't use violence!

I hurriedly grabbed/hugged Harada-san to try/and tried to stop him.

Seeing me appear so suddenly, Harada-san was startled, but shortly after, he regained his original scowling expression.

Harada: Don't stop me, Chizuru! That guy, Shinpachi, has earned a good beating!

Yukimura: But, but rather than saying that it was Nagakura-san's fault, wouldn't it be better to say that this was just a coincidence/this was an unfortunate misunderstanding......!

Harada: You're someone who doesn’t try to offend anyone... .However, Shinpachi. In the end/first place, this incident, were it not for your love of sake/alcohol addiction, none of this would have happened!

Shinpachi: Guh......

Yukimura: But, but starting/engaging in privates fights is punishable by seppuku, so please, please calm down......!

I was almost shaken off, but I desperately continued holding onto Harada-san.

However Harada-san forced me aside and walked over to Nagakura-san, and then smiled.

Harada: Don't worry, Chizuru. This isn't a private fight. I have no intention to start a fight/fight with him.

Shinpachi: Th-That’s right! Although I was prepared to get beaten, won't/cant you forgive me/I was prepared to get beaten, but you’re actually prepared to forgive me...!? No, as expected of my best friend! The broadness of your mind is comparable to Hijikata-san [reword later. sounds archaic lol]!

Looking at the smiling Harada-san, Nagakura-san let out a sigh of relief.

Is that how it will work out/Will that be how this ends......?

The moment/Just as I let go.

I caught the sight of Harada-san's smile deepening as he clenched his fists behind his back.

Harada: Right, I'm not going to fight you——

Harada——But I'm going to punish you! Grit/Clench your teeth, Shinpachi!!!

Shinpachi: GUAHHH!?

Nagakura-san's depressed screams could clearly be heard even outside of headquarters......

Afterwards, Harada-san and Nagakura-san went to Hijikata-san's room......

Once the situation was explained in detail, the order for Harada-san’s house arrest was lifted.

......Instead/On the opposite end, Nagakura-san was severely punished......

Harada: Really, that bastard, Shinpachi....... he can’t/won't stop causing problems.

Yukimura: Ye-Yes. But I think that Harada-san also went too far....... However, it's good that the suspicions against you were cleared because of that, Harada-san.

Harada: Speaking of which, I forgot to thank you. Thanks, Chizuru.

Yukimura: Eh?

Harada: What you did. It's thanks to you that I was able to prove my innocence [tl word i have is more "to your credit/contribution"].

Yukimura: Th-That sort of thing...... what I did isn't such a big deal.

Harada: Haha, a bit of modesty/humility is good, but when a man thanks you, you need to accept it honestly, since it's a necessary condition of being a good woman/but it's a condition of being a good woman to honestly accept when a man gives thanks, alright?", alright [i think????]?

Seeing Harada-san smile, I couldn't help but also laugh/smile.

Harada: So/Anyway, if you want to go to the festival, just call me at any time/call me whenever. As thanks/As a gift, can I accompany you/keep you company then?

Yukimura: Yes, thank you.

Although there were many twists and turns......

I’m really glad that Harada-san's ban on going out was lifted.

The sigh I let out in relief escaped into the depths of the cool corridor.

-end of chapter-

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki yuugiroku 2 #harada sanosuke #Yukimura Chizuru #nagakura shinpachi #hakuoki game translation

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kuromitos · 2 years

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A Man's Job is hard to when you're Pretending to be One

Summary: After tragedy strikes her life,Kurumi Minami takes it upon her to improve herself by getting stronger, she does it by joining the shinsengumi. Only problem? She's have to pretend to be a man.

Pairings: Gintoki Sakata x OC, Toshirou Hijikata x OC

WC: 6k

A/N: Fourth chapter finally out! Sorry it took so long. Was busy with school and life so it took a while to finish it. Also I want this to be perfect cause then next chapter will have the Shinsengumi in and I'm hype to write about them. I hope you enjoy this one and thank you for reading!

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Chapter 4: Girls in Chinese clothing and a pair of glasses are strong teachers

"Come on Kento! Lift those legs and go faster!"

"Kagura-chan don't go so hard on him!"

"Be quiet Shinpachi! He wants to be manly and this is how you do it! You should join him."

"What was that, you little brat!?"

What the hell am I doing right now? Why am I even doing this right now?

What exactly am I doing, you ask? I'm currently in the middle of the park doing stupid and crazy exercises while being yelled at by a little girl. Not exactly the 'manly' training I was hoping for. And it's all that walking corpse fault, he's the whole reason I'm in this stupid situation.

"Here we are, Kento. Your training grounds." "Isn't this just the local park? I thought we were going to a dojo or something?" "You do realize a dojo costs money right? Money that neither of us has at the moment. So we're going to use the park for your training." Cheapskate "Alright then. So, what are we doing first, teacher? Sword training? Muscle work? Maybe something to make me look tough?" "Don't know why you are asking me. Your teacher is over there setting up" "Huh? That old man sitting in that box?" ''No. Over there by the tree.” “Kagura?! Hold on there, I ask you to train me, not her!" "No you didn't. You ask odd jobs to train you and she is part of Odd jobs. Besides, I remember saying that I want nothing to do with your little pipedream. So you better take it or leave it. Either way I'm heading back home now. See ya Kentaro." "It Kento Asshole"

That lazy scam artist fooled me into believing he'll actually help me but instead saddled me with this kid that made me do these ridiculous tasks for a whole hour. Don't even get how they are supposed to make me manly! I want to quit this now! I'm getting tired!

"How many more of these do I have to do?” “You have only done 50 so far, which means you have 250 more to do then we can start the real training afterward!” Kagura said with a bright smile on her face while pumping her fist in the air. Wait what? The moment I heard that I collapsed on the ground trying to catch my breath and get feeling back in my body. "This is just the warm-up?! What are you planning to do to him, Kagura-chan?!" Shinpachi yelled at her in concern. "You worry too much, Shinpachi. We are just going to do some basic training regimen that they might do there. Now then,"

the ground I was laying on started to shake a bit then stopped. I lift my head to see... Kagura held a bunch of logs in the air then dropped them beside her which made me lift up in the air due to the impact. "Your first assignment is to carry these on your back while doing a 100-meter dash, okay?"

She is trying to kill me!

"Hey, Kagura! What does THAT have to do with the basic Shinsengumi regimen?! Who told you this anyway?!" I yelled at her from the ground, slightly pissed off due to exhaustion and being forced to do these exhausting exercises. "Gin-chan told me. Who else?" Gintoki, that bastard! What are you filling in this kid's head?! "No normal human can do that! If I even try that, I might break something I need!" I stand at full height to face her fully. Kinda since she is way shorter than me. "Stop complaining now. Having strong muscles and lifting strong stuff is something manly man can do so we are getting you ready with this training and you need arm strength to carry your sword don't you?" "How big of a sword do you think I'm going to be carrying? A buster sword? " First That crappy boss, Gintoki, and Now this little brat where everything she knows comes from him. They are starting to get on my nerves right now. She may be a kid but she is just as annoying as him.

Just when my temper was getting higher, I felt a hand on my shoulder pushing me away from kagura. Turn my head to see none other than Shinpachi, who I kinda forgot was even here, was trying to put himself between Kagura and me. Looks like he was waiting for this to happen. Is he used to this? "Okay okay let's calm down now. How about instead of physical training we can do some mental training like something to make him look the part. Gin san did say he looked kinda feminine" he said to us but mainly to Kagura. "I guess we can take a break for now. We can focus on this part since it would be really easy." Shinpachi lets out sighs of relief hearing that. Someone confident. I'm just glad I get a break for now.

Must been in my head for too long cause when I snapped out of it I noticed Kagura walking away from us towards the park entrance and Shinpachi giving me a closed eye smile that felt most sympathetic towards me. I don't like it. "Stop that." "Huh? Oh, I'm sorry." Crap I said that out loud. Need to work on that. I also need to apologize to him "I didn't mean to-" " No it's alright. You try to hide it but you're a very prideful person, aren't you? That's why I wanted to say sorry to you." Shinpachi said to me "I shouldn't have brought you to odd jobs. Even though I had my doubts, I didn't realize he'd act like that. And then you have to deal with Kagura’s crazy antics. She means well and actually wants to help you but she is a bit much so I'm truly sorry for all of this" his body is bent in a 90-degree angle towards me as he apologized I can't help but to feel Bad. Like I should be the one bowing in forgiveness. He went out of his way to help me and here I am complaining and whining making him feel guilty when it's Gintoki 's fault.

"Come on Shinpachi, Stand up. You don't need to apologize. You were only trying to help me out the best you can and it didn't turn out how you thought, that's all. You had no control over their actions so don't feel bad about it okay? If anyone needs to apologize it's Gintoki for lying...and me too" My face was heating up after saying that. I don't want to admit but I kinda do have a part in this mess. Scratching my head in embarrassment as Shinpachi stands up fully and I continue." I want to say sorry for all my complaining so far. You have been nothing but helpful towards me since I got here and you were right about it earlier. I'm not exactly a fan of having people younger than me teaching me stuff but you two are trying to help me so I'll try to be more cooperative." Shinpachi smiles at me and nods " sure and I'll try to keep Kagura in line so she doesn't accidentally kill you." He says joking while walking towards a bench, I catch up with him and put my hand on his head, giving it a good ruffle, and laugh "you're a good kid Shin. I'm glad I got to meet you first." He didn't respond to me right away and turned his head slightly away from me before responding.

"Aww, you don't mean that. I mean Kagura chan is good too." "Yeah I guess but she is a bit much really. But I can't believe you and her are working for that guy willingly. How exactly did you guys meet him anyway?" From the way Shinpachi was talking about him today, I was expecting some type of wise old master instead of well…Gin. There must be more to the guy between the shitty parts that are actually pretty good. " Well, I met him when he made me take the fall for something he did and got me fired from my job and he ran kagura over with his scooter." This man has nothing but shitty parts in him.

"You're working for the man that got you fired? And who runs a kid over? Is he holding something over you, Shinpachi? Kagura too?" I asked him with nothing but concern in my voice. I kinda feel like I'm overstepping here but Shinpachi and Kagura are still kids so I can't help but feel protective. "Oh no! You don't have to worry about us, Minami-san. It's nothing like that. He may have gotten me fired but he helped me and my sister with our troubles at the time. Same with Kagura so we chose to stay with him." As Shinpachi told me about him I can see his face hold a certain look I used to have. A look that you have for a person that you admire and look up to very dearly. I guess that is a look every kid has towards somebody at least once in their lives even if others don't understand it. "Oh yeah? Well, He's still a jerk to me until proven otherwise." I tell him while taking the worry out of my voice instead replacing it with a stubborn one. He chuckled at it but I didn't care until I saw it with my two eyes. Gintoki is a complete ass.

"I'm back!" We turn our head towards the voice we heard to see Kagura coming back towards us with a tote bag and ...big rolled-up paper? What is she up to now? "Okay! I got everything we need for our menstrual training!" *pfft* don't laugh, Kurumi. It is not that funny. Just hold it together. "You mean mental training Kagura Chan." "Menstrual mental same thing, right?" "N-no Kagura. Completely different things" Shinpachi tries to correct the girl while I'm just trying to not laugh at her mistake. "Doesn't matter now. I got everything we need for this to be a complete success including this!!" Kagura unrolls the paper from her bag and puts it up on a nearby tree.

After she moves away from it she stretches her arm out to show off her big surprise. A highly decorated poster with silly little drawings and stickers that has 'The manly manliness checklist' written on the top of it and I can't say I'm impressed neither can Shinpachi since he has the same blank expression on his face like me and judging by the content on this list I can already tell this is going to end badly.

"Kagura? What exactly is this?" Shinpachi asked her. Her happy little face turned up in anger when he asked, "What does it look like? It's a checklist, Shinpachi. What? Are those glasses just for show?" His blank expression changes into irritation real quick hearing that. I intervene quickly, I am the only adult here so I might as well act like one. "He means what's the purpose for it, Kagura. What's it for?" After hearing me, her confident smile returns to her face and she slams her hand flat on it. Why does that little smile make me feel uneasy? "This Right here is 'The manly manliness checklist'. It has everything you need to both look and feels manly. We just have to go through these and we can get back to the other part of training. You ready, Kento?"

Might as well go through with this. With a small grin, I nod my head to signal her that I'm ready. This can't be any worse than what she put me through earlier. That's what I thought until I felt her hands directly on my chest, feeling me up. I spoke too soon.

"Kagura! What are you doing to he-him!? Why are you doing that??" Shinpachi screamed at her while I'm trying to remain calm here and not blow my cover. "Muscle inspection. That is the first thing on the list. Most men have big muscles so we gotta check his." Her hands move all around my upper body but they mainly focus on my arms and chest.

"Looks like your shoulders and arms are kinda small but you do have some strength in them." "Really? I did some labor work back home. I must have built some muscle."

"And your chest is pretty big." "Y-you don't say?" "Your waist is pretty slim for a guy." "Isn't there something else you need to check on the list now?" I need to get her mind off my body for now before she catches on. "Okay let's focus on that face of yours" that's even worse. She takes her hands away from my body and starts inspecting my face by pulling on it like a silly putty which hurts like hell since her grip is pretty firm.

I put my hands on her wrists as a way to tell her to loosen her grip but she didn't seem to get the message since it stayed the same. "H-hey Kagura. Let me go already" I said to her while trying to pull her hands off of my face but the more I pulled the stronger her grip got. "Give me a minute I need to inspect your face closely-" she stopped herself and let go of me the moment she let go I rub the sore spots on my face. "Geez~ did you have to manhandle my face like that? Hope this doesn't leave a bruise." I looked at her and she had a weird look on her face like she had something on her mind. What is she thinking about? Wait, is she starting to figure it out? "Hey, Kento? Can I ask you something?" Crap! She found out, didn't she? "What is it? Was there something on my face?" Please tell she didn't notice "well it's just that I noticed something about you" Nooo "What did you notice?" Not that I'm a woman hopefully. "Well…" please don't notice "You see…." Don't notice don't notice DON'T NOTICE ``What's up with your teeth?" Don't- huh??

" My teeth?" Kagura nods her head and motions Shinpachi over. crap I forgot he was here again. "What is it , kagura?" He asked her while walking up to her. "Check her teeth. There's something wrong with them." Pointing at me directly, she shouts so loud the whole park hears her and starts staring at us and whispers. "Don't say that Kagura. That's rude." "But it's true! Just look at them!" "Even so, that's still rude." "Oh who asked you anyway!" "You did!" People are staring at us. They're causing a ruckus here. This is embarrassing. We need to leave this park. NOW. While those two are arguing with each other, I simply just grab them by the collar of their clothes and run.

I stopped running to catch my breath. All those damn exercises got me sore and exhausted even with the breaks I took so I'm surprised I was about to run so far away from the park, even had two kids in my arms. Speaking of those kids, I turn my head to see them sitting on the ground, Kagura looking upset and Shinpachi looking flabbergasted. Both expressions are justified honestly. I just dragged them both from the park to… wherever we are right now out of nowhere. They probably both pretty pissed at me but it wouldn't have happened if they were not arguing like that and embarrassing us. Whatever I better say something cause I can feel their eyes burning into me. “Hey-’ “ohmygodicant believe how fast you went back it almost feltlikeflyingyoumademeleavemystuffbacktherbutthatwassupercoo! Younevertoldmewhyupwithyourteethiwanttoknowseriouslywhyarethey-l” guess she isn't as upset as I thought. The moment I turn around I'm being word assaulted by Kagura. She's talking so fast I can't even understand her. "Slow down there, Kagura. I can literally only hear every third word." I try to calm her down by speaking calmly but considering she has the look of excitement all over her face, I don't think it works. "How are you able to run so fast!?" Now Shinpachi is yelling at me but I can at least understand him better. He looks both impressed and shocked. "Do you know how fast you went? You took us all the way to the shopping center! That's like 4 blocks and you got here in 20 minutes on foot!" "Haha! My training must have started working already" not really "How are you able to so fast Kento-san?!" The looks in both of their eyes just scream 'tell me your secret' but all I could say is "Ummm…. Genetics." "Liar!" There goes that look in their eyes. "What do you want me to say? I'm half cheetah? I was just always a fast runner growing up, that's all. " My answer seems to satisfy Shinpachi but not Kagura apparently. Her little pouty face showed her disappointment. Almost feel like I did something wrong and should apologize.

"You still didn't answer my question, you know?" "Huh? And what's that, exactly?" The stare-down I'm getting right now is pretty intense and almost shook me to the core. I try looking over at Shinpachi for help but he looks kinda scared too. Whatever this question is must be serious and I might not like it cause It means I finally got exposed. "You never told me what's up with your teeth!" This kid is going to give me a heart attack. Releasing the breath I was holding in, I looked at her and tried to see what's up with this girl. "What's with your fascination with my teeth?" "Right here" kagura points to her two front teeth and makes a circular motion around them " there's a hole in that spot in your mouth" Is she talking about... " You mean my gap?" I point to the same spot in my mouth. She nodded her head repeatedly as her response. This brat got me stressed out, thinking I got my cover blown, all over my gap in my teeth?!? The urge to hit something is strong right now.

I try breathing to calm myself because I don't trust myself if I don't.

"Okay... I have a gap in my teeth. This is what happens when your family is too broke to get them fixed as a kid. What about it?" With a crooked smile, I asked Kagura but Shinpachi pushed her behind him, shielding her from my poorly contained rage. Smart boy but not a good idea to play the shield. "Calm down, Kento-san. Kagura is still a little girl and you know how little kids can be.” as annoying as his point is, it’s still right. I’m the adult in this situation so I need to be calm and not lose it at her. “ you know, you should not show it off cause it makes you look kinda dumb and super poor.'' Did you hear that very faint crack? Yeah that was my f*cking patience! screw being the bigger person, I’m killing this brat right here and now.

"You're right there, Kagura. Make me question if he even has enough to pay us." I know that lazy tone. I turn my head around to see Gintoki walking towards us in a lazy, Sluggish way like he just woke up from a nap. He probably did. "What are you doing here, Gin-san? Something wrong?" Shinpachi asked "yeah! You said we could do this one on our own. Why are you interrupting us?" Kagura asked with an angry tone in her voice but her little pouty face didn't help show it. He looked at them for a moment but eventually turned his attention to me. "I'm actually here to give Kentaro here some news concerning his current job request." "It's Kento, not Kentaro" "So you guys can stop this training with Kenji." "Kento not Kenji, Damn it!" What is he talking about right now? What Is he planning? "Huh?! But we were making good progress with him, Gin-chan. Why are you stopping us?" Kagura yelled at Gintoki, saying what we were all thinking except for the progress part. That wasn't made at all. "Because we can't fulfill it." Huh? "What are you talking about, Gin-san?" Shinpachi added in as he adjusted his glasses on his face. "Why can't we fulfill his request? It's not that hard to do."

"When I was walking back to odd jobs, I happened to bump into a certain nicotine addict vice chief on the way," Kagura stands on her toes to whisper in my ear 'that's the Shinsengumi vice chief.' I nod to her for my thanks even though I already guessed that, "We were having a conversation and I mentioned our client's name in it and if there was any opening within the ranks." Gintoki starts scratching his chest and points his eyes on me. "Sorry to break it to you but they're not accepting any members right now. Not ever actually."

My full attention was completely directed at Gintoki after hearing that. I almost asked him to repeat what he said but stopped myself because hearing it again isn't going to make me lose the shock. I could hear him talk some more but I blocked it because it's nothing too important and my mind was wandering a mile a minute. The biggest question swimming in there was 'why?' Why did he tell me this? Why did he even ask? Why does he care to even do this? What does he get out of this? Out of telling me I can't get my dream. "So what now?" "Huh?"

I got out of my head once I heard his voice in a certain tone I recognized. "Your only reason to come here is now gone up in smoke and it won't be coming back anytime soon. What's you going to do now,huh? I gotta admit it, if I were in your position ill feel pretty stupid right now." Ah. I see what he's doing now. "I mean you have no one to blame right now but yourself. You came here with no set plans or anything. Didn't even check if it was possible to join." A crooked smirk on his face with his eyes closed just proves he is doing this to get a raise out of me. "But you can still fix it. I'm sure you can find a job that pays well and raise it up for a ticket back-" " None. I'm staying here and waiting." "Huh?"

Dead eyes turned confused when he heard my statement. He looks at my face to see that it used to match his from a few moments ago,dull and deadpan. "You did hear what I said right? They are not accepting members anytime soon." "I heard you crystal clear." I am not going to give him what he wants and that's seeing me upset and angry. I'm going to be the exact opposite. "Then what do you mean 'you're staying'? You should be a responsible adult and do the right thing. go back home and forget this stupid idea." How is that like a responsible adult exactly? "Now wait a minute, Gin-san." Shinpachi pushed his way toward Gintoki. "You need to understand that this is really important to Kento-san." He said with a determined look. He's standing up for me? I appreciate it but..this is my fight. I place My hand on his shoulder to catch his attention and to say it's okay. "It's fine, Shinpachi. Gintoki makes a good point. I should do the responsible thing and I'm going to do that."

I start walking away from the odd jobs group.

"You can drop my request. I appreciate you going this far but you can quit now." Small gasping filled my ears, my guess it's the two kids and it was confirmed when I heard Shinpachi speak up. "But what about your goal? What about getting stronger? You're just going to give up that easily!?" I stopped shortly after that and turned my head back to them. "Who said I'm giving up? I'm just doing it on my own from now on, okay? Just like I planned to begin with." With a big smile on my face, I'm reassuring Shinpachi and myself honestly "I'll see you back home later. Bye!" I ran away from them completely til I was out of their sight. I stopped in front of a small alley where no one could see me, breathing deeply and …

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Using all of my anger I punch the alley way. Which was stupid because I'm currently clutching my poor hand in pain. I really shouldn't have done that. This seriously hurt. I feel my eyes watering because of the pain I'm going through now,Both physical and emotional. Having to hear that your whole reason for leaving your only home is not possible to achieve by some jerk that want to see your downfall to prove a dumb point isn't good for my mental state. My watering eyes turned into straight on crying tears just thinking about it. I thought I dropped this habit back with my woman self back home.At Least she didn't see me like this. She probably would have laughed at me and proved her point even more.

I keep thinking about what Shinpachi said about him earlier in the day, saying how he's a good caring guy. What bullshit. He had it out for me since the beginning but he might have a point. Maybe I am a dumb girl with impulsive dreams. But I shouldn't give up now, not when I barely started. I have people supporting me and it's not like I can just go back but still…..

"Are you doing okay, Kento?" A feminine voice out to me,it sounds familiar to me so it's not a stranger. it was obviously not Gintoki or Shinpachi's voice so it must be Kagura! Crap I can't let her see me like this, but my eyes won't stop crying. Praying my voice won't crack, I answer back to her. "Oh! I'm fine Kagura. Don't worry about it okay? I just need to rest my feet from all that training we did." Not hearing anything back from her I assume she believed me and went away. I finally lifted my head back up. Instead of the opposite brick wall from the alley in my view I get a hand with a tissue inside of it extending towards me. "You're a really crappy Liar. If you want to be an officer you need to fix that."

Kagura said to me with a small grin on her face that suddenly disappeared when her eyes moved down from my face, I followed them to see that they landed on my bruised hand. I try hiding it but just moving it stings so I wince when I did. She took my uninjured hand and placed the tissue inside of it while grabbing my wrist to lift me up. Surprisingly, I got up and landed on my feet when she did because for some reason this kid is ridiculously strong she still had my wrist in her hand and starts to walk out the alley,dragging me along I didn't even have a chance to ask her what she was doing cuz she turns her head towards me and say "let's go get your hand fixed up" with a big grin on her face.

How do I go I from sitting in dirty alley, feeling crushed and disappointed to sitting in on a bench getting my hand wrapped up

"And done! All better now! It doesn't hurt anymore right?" Kagura asked me after bandaging up my hand. I nodded my head as my answer. I was kinda too embarrassed to speak to her, the fact she had to help me like this to begin with and she caught me at a pretty humiliating position. Can't even look her in the eye right now. "What did you even do to hurt your hand this badly?" Now I most definitely can't look her in the eyes. I can't tell her I hurt myself. I won't be able to face anyone ever. "That's not really important now. Why did you follow me? You guys don't need to help me any more." I probably sound rude to her but I can't help it. The only reason she helped to begin with is because it's her job and she was told to do so, not like she actually cares about me or what's going on. Probably here to shake me down for payment. "I want to help you with your goal!" She said to me like it was the most obvious answer. "Back at odd jobs, when you were giving Gin that big lecture. Hearing you talk like that told me for sure that you're determined and you will be an awesome Shinsengumi member. Definitely better than the one we got and I want to help you get that job!" Stars in her eyes, Kagura gives a whole speech about her wanting to help me that honestly scares me. I try to calm her down but I accidentally rile her up more. "But um Kagura, did Gintoki say that they are not going to accept any more members-" " Who cares about what Gin says!" she is grabbing my shoulders and is staring directly in my face "Gin-chan probably said that to psych you out but we won't fall for that" now there's a 'we'?!? "We're going to get that job and reach your goal together, Kento, " Kagura says to me with a huge grin on her face while I'm having mixed emotions that are between fear and slight appreciation. She may be a bit over excited about this but it feels good to have somebody in my corner. Especially since I was feeling down not too long ago. I don't have time to think them through because I hear a rumbling noise near me. What was that? There a animal nearby? Hearing it again I see Kagura clutching her stomach. Don't tell me...that was her?? Just how hungry is she? I started looking for some restaurants or food stands and found a nice dumpling stand. "Are you in the mood for some dumplings?" I asked Kagura to get her attention and it worked. Apparently, the moment I mentioned dumplings she let go of her stomach and replaced her sad look with a happy grin while nodding at me. "Alright I'll be right back." I walked over to the stand but I just realized something. I don't have any money. Why did I forget something that important? You're staying at someone's house because you're broke and homeless and I'm offering to pay for food!? I could just tell her they sold out of food but that feels wrong since she is pretty hungry. I could ask her for some money...never mind she working for Gintoki she probably broke and it is embarrassing to ask a kid for money. What am I going to do? I scratch my head out of frustration just thinking about this. Until I see something at the stand. A pretty lady and a blushing shopower. I could do that-No! I left any femininity back home. I'm not going to do That just for some food. *growl*

Hearing that sound reminded me of why I was doing this to begin with and I made my own sound of frustration because of it. I Turned my head to make sure Kagura wasn't looking and thankfully she wasn't. Reach underneath my shirt to loosen the bandages binding my chest. pull my top to show off. Fluff my hair A bit to make it look cute and start walking towards the cashier. "Hello there. How may I help you?" "Hi mister! I heard that this is the best place for some yummy dumplings, is that true?" I asked him in a super cutesy voice, trying my best to flirt with a man that looks fairly older than me. There's no way he'll fall for this. "Haha.. well.. maybe." Red face, sweating and nervous speech oh he is falling for this. "Really? Then I want four tri-colored ones pretty please." " Okay. 1000 yen please." ''Oh no. I don't have enough. Can you let me pay you back later?" "What? I can't-" "pretty please? I promise I'll pay you back in full. I'll even do something in exchange. " This is so stupid "real *gulp* really?" I can feel his eyes on my chest. Just give them to me. "Yeah. If you give me the dumplings right now." "Ah right. Here you go. Now about that exchan-`` ''you can put it on my boyfriend ,Gintoki Sakata, tab. Buh-bye now" food in my hands, I escape from this shitty situation and head straight back to Kagura. I felt kinda bad for tricking that shopkeeper but I'm broke and I had a starving girl on my hands. He also stared a little too hard at me so he kinda deserved it for letting his dick control his brain.

I come back to the bench and hand Kagura her food while sitting down next to her. "Hope you enjoy it. Was kinda hard to get." Saying that to her I start to eat my share of the dumplings. It's pretty chewy and sweet but too sweet for my taste. No grandma cooking but it's okay. "Hey Kento, can I ask you something?" "Sure. Don't see why not." I turn my head towards Kagura expecting her to be facing me but she is staring ahead. "Why do you want to be strong?" Didn't expect that. "Huh? What do you mean by that?" "Going off your rant in odd jobs, anyone can tell you really want to join those tax robbers," 'tax robbers' ? "And I know your reason to join is to get stronger than you are now but why do you want to get stronger? And why the Shinsengumi specifically? There's other ways,you know."

Hearing that to my off guard, my eyes widened just from alone. I Heard the question from Shinpachi and Otae first but they were suspicious of me. Why is Kagura ask me about it? Should I even tell? Looking up, I see that the sky is changing from blue to pinkish-orange sky with a few stars and the moon poking out. Seeing it put me at ease, made me comfortable to tell her.

“You want to know why I want to join them so badly? To get stronger with them only? It's because we have the same goal. We both want to protect people” my lip curled up on my face, a bittersweet smile for bittersweet memories. “ Long ago, I had a close friend that I knew since childhood. She was a wonderful person that looked out for me many times. She was also a great fighter due to grandfather and his dojo. I admired how strong she was both physically and mentally. But I was too busy admiring her to realize how much she was hurting. One day, I walked in on a fight between her and grandfather in the dojo. I don't actually know what the fight was about but it must have been pretty serious because she was about to attack him with a sword laying around.” my left fist clenches at my side thinking about this part. I hate thinking about it for too long. “ I got in between the fight and blocked it with my left hand, leaving a scar but you can barely see it now.” softly tracing it with my finger “later that night, i saw her leaving her home with a bag of her belongings, i went out there to convince her to stay home, to stay with me but i couldn't do it. I couldn't say it, say the words to make her stay. I didn't have it in me to do it so I just had to watch her walk away from me. Ever Since that day, i always thought about how if i was strong like her, i would be able to stop her and we would still be together now” looking down at my hand, still tracing my scar, i look back up and turned towards kagura with a closed eyes smile to ease the awkwardness with my story. “Because of that, I wanted to get stronger.and who’s stronger than a bunch of samurai sworn to protect the great city of edo? Sorry if I bored you with my sob story. I hope that answers your question`` I open my eyes expecting to see a bored kagura or even one crying from the story but instead a smiling kagura. “It's fine. You didn't bore me, you just motivated me more to help you out.`` Kagura looks at me with an inspirational look on her face. “Really?” “Of course! With a story like that, how can’t I?''

Hearing her so motivated and full of energy starts to get me pumped with her. It's weird because im getting this hype with a little kid but ever since i came here all i been told is that my plans is stupid and impulsive and literatly only two people have been on my side, shes may be young but she , along with shinpachi, actually want to support my dream. “Your reason isn't anything shallow like to impress somebody or petty like get bet some loser, you want to actually do something good!” “yeah I do!” “ you're not letting anyone get in the way of your goal no matter what they say or do!” you know i wont. Nobody can stop me!” “and with my help, we'll get you ready for the shinsengumi!” ‘yeah yeah!” “ they let you regardless if you are a woman or not!” “Yeah regardless-HUh?” What did she say? She said woman. I most definitely heard her say woman.

“Um, what was that last part?” “hm? Oh! I know you're a chick” ah yeah i heard her right. My excitement and motivation went away and was replaced with nervousness and dread. How the hell did she find out? When did she find out? Did I give myself away? Ahhh! What do I do?? Right, I got to ask her all that. Gotta calm down. “ Hey kagura, how exactly did you-” “ your boobs are out right now.” Huh? I look down and just like she said they are. By that I mean they are not tied down by the tape I use. I must have forgotten to fix it up after getting the food. Better do that now. “I also kinda figured it out when I felt your chest, definitely not a mans”

ah. I remember that. “But don't worry, I'll keep your secret. I won't tell anyone.” not gonna lie i have some serious doubts about her not telling but shinpachi works with her, i'll just tell him and ask him to watch out for her. “Alright then,” looking up I see that the sky is getting darker meaning we have been out here for a while. “Hey kagura, it's getting late. Let's get you home before dark. It's not good for a girl your age to be out this late.” I stood up from the bench and started to walk “you even know where you going?” I heard her yell behind and eventually she caught up to me, walking side by side. I gotta admit she was kinda annoying but she's not too bad for a kid.

tagging: @daynada @atsuwh0res @strawberrymilkie @ukiyo-aoandon

#anime #gintama #gintoki sakata #sakata gintoki #kagura #kagura yato #gintama shinpachi #shimura shinpachi #gintama oc #original writing #original character #fanfic

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