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lizardsfromspace · 3 months

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Stumbling across that weird fanatically anti-transmasc cult again and this tweet really sums it up better than anything

Trans women are defined entirely by misery and tragedy. Historical trans women all died in asylums. That's why Christine Jorgensen, the first trans woman to get gender-affirming surgery in the US, tragically *squints* spent decades as a in-demand public speaker and headlining entertainer. Because trans women literally can't experience anything other than misery

I have a book from the 70s with an ad for a speaker's agency that lists her alongside Rod Serling and Cicely Tyson. And underneath Erich von Daniken, which is irrelevant to my point but really weird. She was not wasting away in an asylum. Many trans women led tragic lives; but many is not all, and there are historic examples, even really famous ones, of trans women who were happy

Why would they erase that to tell people trans women all suffer tragic fates and must suspect everyone oh yeah bc they're a cult preying on the vulnerable and trying to convince them they need protection (but oddly enough from other trans people more than anyone else?)

The trans man thing is a reference to Victor Barker, who was, indeed, a trans man and a fascist in the 1920s. But I think another key point is, uh, that was one fuckin' guy. Why are they tacking that on, except if they're trying to imply trans men are secretly fascists? But that'd be an absurd thing to belieTHEY BELIEVE THAT. That is a real thing these creeps believe now and are seriously implying on the reg

"You must be suspicious that trans men are fascists" is now part of their ever-evolving litany of apparently endless evil from transmascs who...called a internet famous trans woman an asshole? Made a bad tweet once? Literally anything a trans man ever does (or doesn't do) transforms into a collective action on the part of all trans men in their minds. Trans men aren't just not allies in their mind, but are comically evil Saturday morning cartoon villains

Also, of course, the insistence that trans men had it much easier than trans women. If all trans women's lives weren't misery, all trans men's lives weren't happy, either. This insistence they had it "easy" is giving James Somerton on Radclyffe Hall

This is, again, A Single Guy. You have proved two white trans men are fascists, one in the 1920s and one now. Maybe. Maybe some other factor is at play, some other identity shared, by these two men, and the majority of fascists. "Why do people think I hate trans men?" says a group with a list of trans men they hate they can trot out instantly

I think people are just primed to think evidence of one member of a marginalized group doing a shitty thing is proof they all do it, or to go "that's just one guy?". In another life this jabroni wouldn't be posting about how Mao would be a Baeddel (???), they'd be sharing Fox News stories about crimes to declare we need to deport all Muslims and Mexicans. It's the same psychology, just rotted by internet discourse instead of a more traditional reactionary ideology

Also you may wonder "wait, I'm a trans woman, and trans men calling me a Nazi happens quite rarely, actually". I'm a trans woman on the internet and trans men calling me a Nazi has happened a grand zero times. So you may then wonder why, precisely, this sweet, innocent bean who's never done anything wrong is called a Nazi so regularly they think it's a universal problem.

Anyway they tweeted out the Fourteen Words, but they said gay women instead of white children. Truly, how could anyone ever get the idea they're a Nazi

#long post #transphobia cw #transandrophobia

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chrollohearttags · 1 year

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at your service • e. jaeger

synopsis: after an injury, your husband is more than happy to care for you.

content warning: influencer reader, super cute fluff, eren giving (y/n) princess treatment, mentions of bodily harm and injury, slight angst, tiny mentions of sex, casual dominance

📝: just some cute fluff with our favorite rapper because I need the comfort today and I couldn’t stop thinking about domestic musician eren. 🥹 he just does sum to me.

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══ ══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧

“Is that right? Well, that’s unfortunate but I really don’t give a damn. My wife is hurt and there’s no way I’m leaving her side. Find somebody else.”

(Y/N) could hear the intense conversation transpiring between your husband and whoever was on the other line out of earshot. As per, Eren was being his irate self. Blowing off a performance that he just wasn’t interested in doing. He had been contacted by the directors of the University of Miami in hopes of getting him to headline at their annual homecoming festival. Which always featured some of the biggest stars. Granted, he might have taken the gig if he were bored enough and had absolutely nothing else to do but he couldn’t be vexed. Especially when his precious baby was lying in bed, leg elevated on a stack of pillows and wrapped in a cast. Your arm? Bandaged up and damaged from the result of a nasty fall during a routine at a concert. Somehow, the stage crew forgot to bolt your pole to the floor correctly and as you went for your solo, it went crashing and carried you with it! An eight foot drop that was more painful than anything you had ever felt: The footage went viral, as did many things you did nowadays and everyone was terrified for you. You let everyone know you were fine but would be out of commission for a while…as you had experienced two hairline fractures and a bruised rib. Needless to say, Eren was livid and after rushing to the hospital to ensure you were okay, he rushed to the venue to find the people responsible. Raising hell that no one was ready for.

for now, you were stuck recovering at home while your girls finished out the remainder of the tour without you. It was a bummer and your spirits were a bit crushed…

“Go ahead, I’m still not coming. So you can tell the college, AMG and whoever else to kiss my ass. (Y/N) is the only person I’m leaving this house for. Ask me again and I’ll quit right now. Don’t call me for shit else. Goodbye.”

luckily, you had the most handsome nurse on the planet to care for you! EJ hadn’t even so much as thought of a studio or anyone else. Staying by your bedside, waiting on you hand and foot once you returned from the hospital. He had just finished up his call and headed straight back to check on you. “Hey princess…how are you feeling? In any pain or anything? Something I can get you?” His sweet words followed by a gentle hand caressing the side of your face, followed by a kiss to the forehead. He knelt down beside you, swiping his thumb over your hand. Even in this state, he glared at you as if you were the most beautiful thing in the world. Currently, you were tucked into bed, surrounded by plushies, games, flowers, books and all things synonymous with a get well soon package. He had spent hundreds, if not thousands in a matter of days on beautiful bouquets and gifts to brighten your mood. He wanted to ensure that you didn’t go stir crazy or get FOMO while you were home so he ensured that your girls got to chat with you every day on FaceTime, watching them practice which made you feel better. Knowing they’d do everything in their power to make it the best show possible in your absence. Your fans poured into your DM’s and mentions, wishing you well and showing their love with edits of their favorite influencer and dancer. And you even made sure to hop on live when the pain medication wasn’t taking its toll. Even you guys’ housekeepers were working later just to ensure the lady of the estate had all she needed. A testament to your character and how well you both had treated them. Something many celebrities failed to do. It felt good to know that you were so adored. Turning your head to face your sweetheart, you’d run a hand underneath his chin and return his peck. The concern on his face was taking its toll and you had to remind him that you were just fine!

“I’m okayyyy, my love. I’m more worried about you. Have you even slept? And did you just cancel ANOTHER gig?”

a question he truly did not want to answer out of fear of you getting upset. Because truth was, he hadn’t been able to sleep much knowing that his princess was in pain. Hearing you wince from a cough that caused your rib to hurt or when your casts began to itch and couldn’t be touched. He couldn’t stand it..more so, he couldn’t stomach the thought of what could’ve been? What if you were in the midst of one of your more insane stunts? Ones where you were twenty feet in the air, dropping at insane speed to match the artist’s rhythm..only God knows how that would’ve ended. But even so, he was still going to do everything in his power to ensure your comfortability. Regardless of if it were at the cost of his own rest or reputation. All of his projects were on hold for further notice, his performances postponed and a meet and greet put on the back burner. A small sacrifice for his sweetheart he’d make any day. And he didn’t care who didn’t like it..

“Me? I’m good! I had a nap on the couch earlier so I’m straight. You though? You need to eat. When you’re done, I’ll help you get a bath and I can do your hair for you..I picked up some of that oil for your braids that you use. Your stylist told me everything to get.”

so typical of him..going above and beyond to make sure that everyone of your needs were met. Not changing word, not getting frustrated or angry once. Planning things out and thinking ahead so you didn’t have to. Almost as if he were glad to do it. He made your life so much easier and honestly, you couldn’t wait to get better so that you could pounce on him and thank your husband for all his hard work. You had heard and experienced first hand the horror stories of women getting left by their spouses when they’re sick or hurt. How calloused men could be. Your own ex would avoid you like the plague when you so much as got a common cold! So this was new to you but much more inviting. Thinking about it sometimes made you want to tear up..which was inevitable at this point.

eren would soon turn his head amid his prideful rant, feeling accomplished in doing something right to find your eyes welling up. “Wait, did I say something wrong?! I’m sorry if I—“ to which you’d halt with a laugh afterwards. “No..not at all. It’s just that..I’ve never had anyone be this nice to me before I met you. I’m thankful, ‘s all. I’m so sorry for burdening you with all of this.” To which, you’d find yourself immediately thrusted into a hug and a kiss to follow. Cupping a palm around your cheek, Eren delicately brushed away those tears and kept you in his grasp. “Stop it..that’s my job, princess. To make sure that you’re always taken care of. You’re the most precious thing in my life and the best to ever happen to me. I’d do anything to keep a smile on that pretty face of yours. I love you, (y/n) and I’d do this a million times over. So please, don’t ever apologize.” You had never seen such sincerity in his face. ‘Though sickness and health’ wasn’t just some empty vow for him. He meant every word and he was going to fulfill his promise of loving you unconditionally until hr drew his last breath. You were his entire world and nothing..not even a broken leg could change that. He didn’t love you any less because of it. “..Oh..Eren. I love you so much..” “I’m serious, princess. Don’t ever forget that. I love you more.” The two of you would seal your declaration with a deep kiss and do away with any sad thoughts. Hopping up immediately after, he’d return to his normally silly self and head off towards the bathroom. “Now that that’s settled, I’ll be right back. Don’t you go anywhere.” Having to get at least one joke off on you. Which prompted you to smack your lips and giggle. “Where are you going anyways?” “To get the nail polish and face masks. My gorgeous girl deserves to be spoiled.” That and the fact that he thoroughly enjoyed doing it too. You were certain he’d have no problem getting comfortable with tending to all of your beauty needs in absence of your normal routine. Shaking your head, you merely chuckle.

“You know, I’m starting think you’re having far too much fun with this.”

which was fine, because he was happy to be at your service.

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blossomthepinkbunny · 6 days

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Vivzepop will always be the biggest issue with her own show if she doesn't change. And i'm not saying that because I desperately want to shit on her but rather because it's so clear that her attitude is what made Hazbin Hotel be so dissapointing after the long wait. The pilot released four years ago and Viv had these characters for much longer than that. One could assume that with this much time on her hands she would have a concise plan for how a series of her story would play out (I can imagine that having an own show is a dream for lots of creative people out there). And I get that that plan might get screwed up by a shorter episode count then expected, but she should be the one who knows her story best and who should know what stuff could also be cut out. The first season of Hazbin Hotel is so incredibly overstuffed with characters and plot that it completely looses the main premise the show was originally pitched with (the idea of a hotel were sinners are redeemed. As it is now the hotel is really not important at all). People have talked endlessly about how Viv can't handle criticism and it really sucks because criticism is one of the best ways to improve your writing, drawings, music etc. Without criticism you won't refine the thing you're working on in a meaningful way. Of course it feels bad when you put something out there you wanted to share and then people critique it, but that's part of pretty much every creative journey, or atleast it should be and Vivzepop shouldn't get a pass from this just because she doesn't like it. And there are great shows, movies or books that are rarely or almost never criticised. But the artists behind these works probably went trough years of honing what they do by being criticised for the stuff they put out. And I don't want to say that Vivzepop didn't work hard to make Hazbin Hotel, but it is hard to claim that she improves in her craft, when everytime someone says they don't like her show she throws a hissy fit. She wants the same reactions that these other amazing pieces of media get without ever listening to criticism. Which she sees as a personal attack rather than a tool that could help her to achieve the same level of writing prowess the creators behind media like that have. She believes she is already on the same level as them, just because she basically shuts anyone out who disagrees with her. There's this clip at the end of a Drew Gooden Video which I think sums up the situation with Viv pretty good (the Video is called "Leaving the YouTube Bubble"). He is talking about Lily Singh and her talk show but I feel like a lot of the stuff he says about handling criticism applies to Vivzepop as well.

(you might have to turn up the audio).

Unprofessional behaviour like that might be excusable when the creator is pretty young or they are interacting with publicity for the first time really. But neither of that applies to Viv. And Hazbin Hotel isn't just an indie animation pilot on youtube anymore. It's now a fully realized show created with a pretty prominent studio on a major streaming network and it should be held to the same standards as other shows or movies alike (not saying indie animation or animation on youtube doesn't have a standard but with more budget and support, there's obviously going to be different expectations for the show now). There have been issues in Helluva Boss and the Hazbin Hotel pilot ever since their release which could've been handled with more time and the new show. But Vivzepop shows time and time again that she isn't willing to listen to people who criticise her, which could actually lead to her show getting better. I don't like Viv or her work a lot. I think she is incredibly unprofessional and she has done her fair share of questionable or problematic stuff, which often leads to issues in her shows. There have been some characters I like, some songs or scenes that were pretty well done, very cool animation and an actually interesting premise on paper in HH and HB. There are things that make me come back to these shows to watch the next episode. And i'm obviously passionate enough about these shows to make whole posts about what I think was done badly and what could be changed. But for the aspects of HH or HB I enjoy, there are soo many more problems I have with it. Problems that won't go away unless Viv stops seeing every criticism as a personal attack. Because if Vivzepop doesn't stop acting like her writing is some unreachable stuff that needs no changes I don't really see a point in assuming that these shows will ever get better.

#vivzepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #i dont support vivziepop

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rs-wonderland · 1 year

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Could I request the housewardens receiving a bouquet of flowers made by their s/o?

{ i didn't know if you mean just flowers or like a paper made ones. So i did for the paper ones, i hope you don't mind!}

Riddle:

♡He is so happy and impressed by it!

♡The flowers are little red roses, and Riddle thinks it's so cute. Impressed by your hard work, and his heart melted by thought of you loving him that much to stay up all night to gave him somethings special.

♡They were putten on his desk, right beside a picture of two of you on your first date.

♡Ace point it out when he was in his room, and he needed to paint the roses red for the next 2 months.

♡After you gave them to his he tried to make some for you, but when it failed he just bought you the real ones.

Leona:

♡Leona never cared about flowers or any present if he wasn't the one giving it to you.

♡But gosh, this little yellow sun flowers are just so pretty. And most importantly you made it just for him (which made him so happy with the fact that no one paid that much attencion to him, with him being the second born), he tooks big pride in it.

♡They were putten on one of the drawers besides his bed, so he could look at them everyday he wakes up (or everyday that Ruggie wakes him up)

♡In return he got Ruggie to buy you you're favorite flowers and some chocolate. With hand written letter, made by Leona himself~

♡You got his tail waving left to right with love♡

Azul:

♡Oh great seven he loves it! Would tell you that he should be the one to spoil you, but he is really grateful

♡He will either keep them on his desk in the office or in his jacket pocket.

♡Got Jade and Floyd to get you some flowers and would TRY to make you paper ones, BUT fails and glue was every where. (never again)

♡Tries to start a job with selling your paper flowers, for not so small sum of money.

Kalim:

♡Boy number 2. Tring to make you ones back.

♡Tries to make you ones back, bc he want you to have something special from him but also bc it looked fun. It turned out pretty good!

♡When you gave it to him he thought it was the most adorable thing ever! Jamil got irritated with Kalims reaction.

♡he carries them everywhere with him. And shows it to everyone, not to be a braggart, he's just very proud of you and your effort to make something so beautiful for him.

♡Puts it in the treasure room after sometime for sure.

Vil:

♡Vil is used to getting flowers from his fans, he is pretty popular. But he never got any hand made flowers like this.

♡Little suprised by it tho, maybe you just didn't have money to buy real ones, but he isn't the one to talk about that. Thinks they are very pretty.

♡So proud of you're hard work, and posts a picter of the flowers on his social media with title: "The most beautiful flowers, by my beautiful @ potato~♡"

♡Puts them right in front of his mirror so everytime he does his morning or night routine he could look at them and it always makes him smile.

♡Rook got you're little romantic moment of giving them to Vil on camera.

Idia:

♡OMG YOU GAVE HIM HAND MADE FLOWERS!? His whole dorm heared him scream like a little fan girl.

♡He waited for his anime moment like this forever! And you made it even better than he imagine it.

♡Stand there with little flowers in his hand, with his face and hair being red as tomato, also smiling like crazy!

♡Made ones to you back, ofc they were perfect and because Idia is a shy boy, Ortho is the one who gave them to you in person. OR he made you a little flower gif and send it to you in DM's, also didn't text you the whole day, because he thought that you maybe wouldn't like them. (Like a said shy boy)

♡He put them beside his computer, so he can look at them all day.

Malleus:

♡He is really happy! No one ever gave him anything, especialy hand made flowers! Now he loves them more than real ones!

♡Learned to make them when you showed him a couple of times. And then he made you a crown out of paper flowers.

♡Was so happy, he showed it to Lilia and others, reactions were everything! Lilia talking about some 'young love' thing, Silver smiled and went back to sleep, also Sebek was jealous so he tried to give Malleus paper flowers himself. (it didn't work)

♡He takes them everywhere with him, also showed it to Idia. Leona saw it to, and he rolled his eyes to the ceiling, mumbeling how stupide it is. (Malleus wasn't having it AKA. they got into fight)

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sabo-has-my-heart · 4 months

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It's two part again. Happy thanksgiving!

Dang, moving is always such a hassle :') I wish things go well for you. *sends love*

It's been a while so I can't really give a detailed story, but to sum up, this is what I literally dreamt of. Y/N works as an Oiran in a busy district in Wano, and Ace once visited it when he was still in the Spade pirates. They had an intense night, and Ace could not forgot the sensation and basically fell in love at first sight. He saved up money to buy Y/N out (not really buying a slave but actually freeing Y/N from the place) However, when he came back for Y/N, he was told that they escaped and the place no longer know Y/N's location.

Ace was disappointed, but that was a story in the past, Ace is now part of the WB pirates. He was secretly still searching for Y/N, though. Then, he recognized a familiar face among one of the member in the nurse crew of WB pirates ship. It was Y/N. The man was over the moon, until he realized, he couldn't possibly come to her and start a conversation with "Have we met? I think I've had s3x with you before". It turned into a cute story between Ace who is now very awkward but is trying his best to start a conversation with the person of his dream. And Y/N who is obvious. Until Y/N finally recognized Ace, and started teasing/flirting him which end up with another heated night for the two of them.

It's a miracle how I can dream of Ace lol, but it was a third person view point dream so I couldn't enjoy much either. It's not the first time I have a weird dream though, for some reasons I keep dreaming of a strange blonde who I have established a romantic relationship with. Well that's way too off topic, I only want to share my ideas with you for fun. I do hope that you prioritize your personal stuff before starting to write again (even tho I miss your write, a lots :'))

Aight that's it for now. Have a great day, have a great thanksgiving week. Best wishes.

- two part

TWO PART ANON! I had a pretty boring Thanksgiving, our oven was broken so we weren't really able to do anything special, that's okay though. Plus I had covid. I'm... mostly better now, still have a cough, but I'm covid negative and raring to go once more! Here's, lol, PART 1!!! All the smut will be in part 2, I hope you enjoy it!

Part 2, Part 3

Warnings: mentions of previous sex, no actual sex yet though (that’s for part 2)

Word Count: 1680

It felt like it had been an eternity ago since he’d last seen you. In truth, it had only been a couple of years, but with how his heart yearned for you, it felt like longer. Ace hadn’t been one to believe in fairytales, no ‘happily ever after’, no ‘peasant becomes the prince/princess’, and no ‘love at first sight’. At least, not until he’d met you. A courtesan in Wano, no, an Oiran, on par with the greatest of them, with even the great Komurasaki. The first time he had laid eyes on you, he knew he needed to talk to you, the first time he heard your voice, he knew he needed to spend the night with you, and from the first night with you, knew that he needed you in his life. Not just for one night, but for all of them, forever. A passionate night, more passionate than any you had previously known, more loving and caring. One where he couldn’t stop every desire from pouring out of his mouth. His desires for you, to have you, to be with you; and the shocking part, the part that made his heart stop, that shook him to his core, was when you reciprocated it. When you told him you wanted him in your life too. You shared things you’d never told anybody else, told him your past, your desires, and your dreams, and he knew that he’d do anything to make sure you saw them realized. A promise, one to find enough treasure to ‘buy’ you. To pay your debt to the man who held your fate, to take you away from such a life. But he’d been too late, you couldn’t take it after that night with him.

Pretending that you enjoyed the company of other men, giggling at dumb jokes and ‘enjoying’ fine food and drink sitting next to men who weren’t Ace. It didn’t matter how rich or good looking they were, you only wanted Ace. So you ran away. In the dead of the night, you gathered all your most precious belongings, every cent you could carry, everything of worth, and disappeared into the night. When Ace had asked about you, stating that he wanted to pay your debt, to ‘buy’ you, the man had merely scoffed, saying that you had run and despite his best efforts, he hadn’t found you, that you still owed him so much money. Ace had paid your debt to the man, whether or not you were there. Should the man ever stumble across you again, you could still be free. Eventually, he’d learned that you’d escaped Wano, somehow managing to break the biggest law of the strange land and escaping to sea.

From that day, he searched for you. He never told anybody, never said a word, made it seem like he was simply living his life, but any time he was at an island, his eyes were searching the crowds for your familiar form. The man was certain he could never forget the shape of your body, the color of your hair, or your scent; not the scent of the perfume that you had been forced to wear as an oiran, but your natural scent lingering just beneath that. Every detail was carved into the backs of his eyelids, teasing him each time he closed his eyes with your beautiful smile. Your real smile. Not the one you had given him upon first being introduced to that night’s company, but the smile you gave him the next morning as you placed a soft kiss to his lips. Only a few people knew of his secret, of his love. Deuce, his first mate, his friend, his second-in-command. Whitebeard, his captain, his adopted father, the man who accepted him for him. And Izou, the Wano man had been by accident. He’d wanted to learn how to make your favorite so that if he ever found you, he could make it for you. Except the man wasn’t dumb, he noticed the concentration on Ace’s face as he worked to perfect the food, noticed the soft smile when Ace thought about when he’d first tried the food, saw the pain when asked about why it was so important. He’d confronted Ace about it, smiling as he listened to Ace’s tale about the beautiful oiran who’d stolen his heart. Izou kept an eye out for any Wanoan women after that, he never said anything, but as a favor to his friend, fellow commander, and brother-in-arms, he always kept an eye out as well.

Sighing, Ace leaned back in his chair, taking a large gulp from his mug. Pops was docked at another island to restock, giving his men shore leave once they were properly restocked, allowing his sons to enjoy themselves, whether it be in food, drink, or women. Women, ha! No woman would ever compare to you, to the beautiful tennyo who’d stolen his heart. He chuckled to himself at the thought, tennyo, so many things you’d taught him in his short time with you. He missed you so much right now, missed the strange terms of endearment you used for him, so strange to him, but never failed to make his heart skip a beat.

Ace’s brow furrowed as he took his feet off the table to sit up straight. His ears strained to catch the voice that had caught his attention just a moment ago. The accent, the lilt, it rang so familiarly in his head. Looking around, he only saw the familiar faces, tattoos, and clothing of the crew. His division knocking back drinks as they laughed, a few Whitebeard nurses dispersed amongst them. Still, his eyes scanned the crowd frantically, searching for the familiar face that filled his dreams. Finally, it landed on one of the nurses. Ace didn’t know all of the nurses that tended to Pops, the man’s deteriorating health requiring near constant care. Yet this one, he was certain, or almost certain.

Swallowing hard, he mentally shouted for the nurse to turn around fully, to give him a proper view of her, rather than just the small glances at her. Finally, she turned, looking to one of the other nurses, stopping Ace’s heart. Your hair was different and the layers of make-up were gone and the kimono replaced with a pink dress, but he was sure it was you. The young man almost shot up in his seat, wanting to run over to you and pull you close, to bury his head into the crook of your neck, hesitating when a thought hit him. Would you even recognize him? You might be forever engraved in his mind, but was he similarly engraved in yours? It had been a few years ago and it had only been a couple of nights together. Did he mean as much to you and you had meant to him? How would he even talk to you, how would he strike a conversation? ‘Hey, this sounds crazy, but I spent a passionate night with you a few years ago. Wanna go have dinner with me?’ No, absolutely not! He’d sound deranged! There was no way you’d recognize him after all this time. You’d been an oiran, he was probably just another paying man spending a night with you, getting too caught up in your act. To you, he must have just been an overly passionate man who was drawn into the fake little world you created for all your customers. Slouching into his chair, he stared at you in longing, he wanted so badly to go over to you, to pick you up and spin you around, to pull you into the most mind blowing kiss, but he couldn’t risk freaking you out.

You’d heard tales of the new second division commander, but had yet to find the time to go see him yourself. Whitebeard’s health took priority and the other nurses had come to rely on you a great deal, leaving you with little time to yourself. On top of your work as a nurse, you were kept busy with a million other things. The young man from years prior always lingered in your mind, his smile like the sun seared into your mind, as if forever branding your mind, heart, and soul as his. Freckles that dotted his cheeks like the stars in the sky, making you think of him every night when you stared up at the twinkling lights, he burned so brightly, as if he were made of sunshine and stardust. During the few daylight hours in which you weren’t caring for Whitebeard, your thoughts were taken up by this man. His voice and name still rang in your ears late at night when things were quiet and still. Ace. Portgas D. Ace. Still, you were on shore leave and the other nurses, as thanks for always taking their shifts, had given you the night off, you’d earned it. So you’d come here, hearing that the second division, and its commander, was here. So far, you’d yet to spot the young man who’d caused such a stir. Talking with one of the second division men, a flit of bright orange caught your eye. Turning, you noticed a familiar orange hat being pressed down on a lowered head before the owner stood up to head out of the bar.

“Who’s that?” You asked, pointing to the young man who’s back was turned to you. Despite the tattoo that covered a good portion of his back, you were almost certain you recognized his form. How could you forget that physique, the back that had sported the evidence of your night together in the form of long red scratches, the shoulders that you’d held so tightly, as if your life depended on it.

“Hm? Oh, right! You haven’t met the new division commander have you? That’s him, FireFist Ace! Kid’s crazy, but he’s strong.” the man you’d been talking to said with a grin, proud of his new commander. You smiled as you watched him leave, Ace, you’d finally found him.

#one piece #one piece ace #portgas d ace #ace portgas #fire fist ace #second division commander ace #op ace #ace x fem reader #ace x reader #fire fist ace fluff #fire fist ace x reader #second division commander ace x reader #portgas d ace x reader

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purikkura · 9 months

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collision report — s.hanbin

❪ ★彡 SYNOPSIS. ❫ ──── you've witnessed your best friend cause one too many train accidents, but never did you ever expect your heart would be caught in one.

❪ ★彡 PAIRING. ❫ ──── sung hanbin x gn!reader

❪ ★彡 WORD COUNT. ❫ ──── 2019 words

❪ ★彡 GENRE/TROPES. ❫ ──── angst... really bad angst, high school au (was tempted to set it at university, but didn't know how fitting that was <;/3), best friends

❪ ★彡 WARNINGS. ❫ ──── allusions to & mentions of death; reader's hella paranoid and delulu; hanbin's lowkey a red flag, but we choose to look past that

❪ ★彡 NOTES. ❫ ──── first fic... y'all, this took ages. i'm 98% sure there's no way i'll be able to pump out requests at a fast rate as most, but i'll try to get to that point. eventually. this was loosely inspired by doushite mo kimi ga suki da by akb48, hence why i brought up trains so often. get my sisters to 1 million on spotify, they're so close!! alternatively titled as 'heartbreak prince!'

You told him you’d be gone for no more than 5 minutes.

And usually, when you tell Hanbin things, such promises become your top priority—for no reason in particular other than that he was Sung Hanbin. Everyone liked Sung Hanbin, whether they’d admit to it or not.

Perhaps you stood ahead in line than others—reap the benefits of the title as his best friend, why not—but that position was distressing as it was rewarding considering all the train wrecks you had to witness practically firsthand. Cringing upon the first whiff of smoke in the form of heartbreak, you could only feel bad for that week’s victim who had fallen ill to Hanbin’s charms, who shoveled their nerves and confessed to him, sooted hands waiting to be taken by a pair as pure as his.

He never did. He never could; that, you knew very well based on the horrified looks he snuck over to you during the first few incidents. He’s gotten better at it, though—derailing the other person’s high-speed emotions, making it not as messy of a bloody blue ruin. As per every rejection, it ended with you two turning your backs and heading homebound together. Envy wasn’t always a green-eyed monster. It could also take on the form of a devastated high school student, eyes discerning the back of your head (rather than the obvious space between you and your friend) as though you had kicked dirt on them just then. Don’t you know better? The body’s still warm.

Homebound is where you should be right about now, but much to the shock of everyone else, you had a life outside of playing the role of “the one that always stands next to Hanbin; are they his significant other?” and, besides, you were people-pleasing elsewhere. Needing some last-minute material for an upcoming test, your teacher obliged the offer, but that meant taking time out of your day to actually confront them. You thought it would take no more than 5 minutes.

You told Hanbin that at approximately 4:37 PM.

It’s 5:23.

Perhaps on the way, you could sum up a valid excuse as to why you stayed way later than expected. Hanbin knew you were lagging behind in the class; he was the one helping you all this time, and it was more than likely that he was the one who tipped your teacher intel that you needed extra studying material in the first place. He tends to do that often. Care too much. Then again, you always tried to return the favor in other classes, no matter how bad you were, or, at the very least, attempted to buy or share your lunch. You physically had to fight to put a chip in his mouth once, which might or might not have resulted in choking, you profusely apologizing, and him simply smiling as if he didn’t almost befriend death.

It was the small things that made you love him.

Made people love him—you liked him a very normal amount.

. . .

Who are we fooling?

You were absolutely, tremendously, without a doubt, down terribly in the trenches in love with him! And it seemed everyone was well-aware, including your math teacher who not-so-subtly dropped the question only a few minutes ago, “Are you two an item yet?” Only problem was, you couldn’t tell the one person your feelings mattered most to. No, really, how could you? After every crush people have caught? After every crash he caused?

You weren’t willing to ruin what the two of you currently had. A relationship that exceeded mere acquaintances—one you always hesitated asking if it ever meant more to him. You even hesitated to ask someone else if they drew some sort of boundary with their friends when it came to physicality. It wasn’t uncommon for you and Hanbin to randomly entangle together, arms haphazardly overlapping with the other’s, however unintentional it may be. It was comfortable for the two of you, though perhaps not so much for passersby that looked at you with rage. A stark contrast between the way Hanbin looked at you with an unbelievable amount of tenderness.

. . . Regardless.

Hanbin was your best friend.

You couldn’t leave him, and he wouldn’t leave you.

That’s what you thought before making it to the courtyard. No Hanbin in sight.

Huh. That was strange.

The thought of him leaving you…

Your shoes kicked into high gear while the sun trickled to disappear. As if a ghost of one of Hanbin’s victims possessed you, a surge of unbeknownst confidence compelled you to try. Because you were tired of standing at a railroad crossing. Because you were fascinated by train wrecks.

There was no doubt in your mind. You love Sung Hanbin.

Didn’t matter how other people felt or how anyone would look at you. You were practically first on the waiting list anyway; you should feel more than willing to announce your feelings to the world and let the wind carry your words over to him.

Thankfully, Hanbin takes extremely slow strolls, so you managed to catch up to him right when he crossed the railroad crossing. (That’s also strange. You guys rarely take this shortcut.) Unfortunately, you arrived right when the gates fell.

“Hanbin!”

All you could see was him. Him. Him. Him alone. You could already imagine how beautiful he’ll look when he turns around, unable to hear laughter blocked out by what sounded like a siren.

You called his name another time. Possibly another.

Though the last was cut off by the incoming train, bells ringing, severing the red thread that connected you two until parted by death.

You braced for impact, a grimace replacing your previous dazed expression, but all you really felt was the wind pushing you back. You think the universe saved you just now.

Then the ringing stopped. You opened your eyes, expecting him to initially chastise you for being so reckless before teasing you for saying his name like a lovesick fool. But all he did was stare at you. Sure, there resided some specs of endearment in his eyes—that would never change—but the rest of his features reminded you so much of the horror-struck looks he gave you upon every confession. All he did was stare at you.

Meanwhile, all you could do was stare at her.

You’ve seen her before. She’s pretty—long sleek hair adorned by a headband, an accessory Hanbin doted on in the past for a reason beyond your one-sided awareness.

However, it wasn’t the headband that drew your attention or made your eyes bulge out of their sockets. It was the space between them, or lack thereof when you noticed their hands glued together.

You must’ve stared long enough not to notice the gates rose, clashing with your confidence that diminished instantly right to the soles of your shoes.

You only picked your head up when he called your name, as gently as he could.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” he mirrored in the same nervousness.

Glancing between them was a difficult task not to do. “Sorry it took so long, I… had to get some help from my teacher.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” he made sure to say that first, sneaking a look to the side. It was still his part, and you knew this script far better than anyone else. “I’m sorry — I forgot to introduce you.”

You didn’t catch her name. That was, without a doubt, the least interesting part of his sentence. Still, the words ‘My girlfriend’ resounded perfectly in your ears.

“Oh.” Congrats, you incorporated your first-ever adlib in your role, but please, follow the script. “Since—since when?”

“Since now, I think,” the girl finally took charge of the lines, attentive to neither yours nor Hanbin’s broken expressions, but she (at the very least) picked up on the awkward situation unfolding. “I guess I asked Hanbin out a few weeks ago? And he said yes, but we didn’t go anywhere from there until today when I… asked him to walk me home.”

“A few weeks ago?” Your breath fell short despite saying only four words.

Hanbin didn’t necessarily have the gall, but to better his conscious, he had to deliver an answer. “It happened in the middle of a convenience store.” Translation: he didn’t think that much of it.

“And you said yes?” Your voice was quiet. For the first time, Hanbin forgot what to say. For the first time, he forgot how to redirect the train. There was only one rail, and it was headed straight for the two of you.

Out of every confession leading up to now, this was by far the worst.

“Yes.”

At some point in time, he lost his girlfriend’s hand, but she delicately laced it back with his as pure reassurance, prompting him to add: “Yeah, I mean, I’ve been crushing on her all year. I figured, why not?”

He’s been crushing on her all year? He’s never mentioned that before, has he? If so, how could you not have possibly known?

“Why not…” Your body’s breaking down, losing function. “Why didn’t…” …you tell your best friend? Why didn’t you tell me you were on the cusp of killing your own best friend? “Why don’t you walk her home this week?”

That definitely wasn’t the response Hanbin was expecting, or wanted. But the director is intrigued, seeking confirmation as to whether their actors know their characters as much as they did, persisting in the change in script.

“What?” Anyone could’ve heard how his voice dejected an octave lower.

“Yeah… yeah, you know,” you trailed in, unsure as to whether you really meant what you were about to say, “I’m staying after to study for the test soon. I wouldn’t want you to walk home alone. Either of you.”

Hanbin convinced himself those last few words were rushed because the ones before were definitely a direct hit on him, and there’s not a second in this situation when he doesn’t regret saying yes to his girlfriend’s homeward request.

“You sure? I wouldn’t want to impose—”

“Are you serious?” He didn’t mean to interrupt his girlfriend as he did, and he especially didn’t want to sound as exasperated as he did. Nothing could stop your eyes from flashing a bit of concern; it was built into your system that Hanbin’s well-being was priority #1. “If you still need help, I could come over.”

Was he upset with you? Anger is common as far as human nature goes, but the genuine kind never rose between you and him. You’ve certainly seen him tense up in situations like confessions or tests even he didn't study for (no thanks to you), but did his shoulders always buckle so tight?

“I think you’ve helped enough.”

There, you’ve done it. Now, there lies two casualties. That red thread of fate did last until the very end.

“B-But I’m here now!” You sounded more enthused than you were. “And I don’t want to hold either of you up, so let’s start walking, yeah?”

You extended your arm, gesturing for them to lead the way. Part of you hoped he’d take your tainted hand instead, but he never did. He never could. His girlfriend had to tug for his body to finally react, and you witnessed his face surf through a plethora of emotions before settling on a forced cordial smile—one he used after every killing.

This moment felt all too familiar. Déjà vu all over again, only you felt out of place. This was a change in scenery. Rather than spotting the sunset, you watched as the couple turned their backs, your eyes boring into the back of an innocent’s head, who walked in the position you once had.

You were prepared to play the kicked puppy, a gate of tears ready for their cue. But you couldn’t, not when the boy who did away with your innocence walks already guilted with so many bodies, some that hadn’t even gone cold.

So, you never did.

You told him you needed all but 5 minutes. If it had been 5 minutes, would your life have been spared?

#zerobaseone #zb1 x reader #zb1 x gender neutral reader #sung hanbin #sung hanbin x reader #sung hanbin x gender neutral reader #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios

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utilitycaster · 2 years

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Hi! I'm sorry if you've already talked about this, but I was wondering what your thoughts were on Caleb's becoming a professor at the Soltryce Academy? As compared to what some fans thought he would do (going rogue and taking down Cerberus Assembly)

Hi anon,

I don't know if I've talked about this, and I don't think I have at length if I did, so I'd like to thank you for asking me and providing the opportunity for the rant below. If you were simply looking for a brief answer that is only about Caleb, then I do have to ask whether you are familiar with this blog and my whole deal. But also the brief answer is "I think it's beautiful that Caleb carves out a place for himself that harkens back to his childhood dreams, in a world he once thought he would have to remake entirely in order to ever feel at home. The idea that this is somehow a failure, and that the secret good ending is him turning into Batman or perhaps a moderately sympathetic Agatha Christie villain seems unfathomable if you are not stupid and lack all media literacy. Unfortunately being an idiot with no media literacy is somewhat in vogue these days. In this essay I will - "

(and here's the essay)

The ending of Campaign Two felt horribly abrupt when announced: I was among the people who thought so, and who thought so loudly. Yet it finished, after a marathon session, with an ending that, at every turn, showed how profoundly the cast cared about and understood the arcs of the characters they had built and the story that they had told. They truly did, as the advice Brennan repeated recently goes, surprise us with the inevitable. I would not change a thing.

Caleb Widogast, like any good character, was more than the sum of his parts. Yes, he was a sensitive portrayal of a character who had undergone traumatic child abuse and who still was dealing with the aftermath. Yes, he was an equally sensitive portrayal of someone who is primarily speaking in one's second language. Yes, he was a wizard, which rules, and bisexual, which also rules, and he had a magic cat and a great sense of humor. But most of all Caleb was the realization of a coherent goal that was deeply tied into the setting not just of D&D 5e but of Exandria, of Wildemount, of Zemni Fields, and of the Soltryce Academy.

He was once a young man who dreamed of something better and who had a gift for the arcane, and he managed, so he thought, to find a way to rise above his humble origins. His dream was to become a teacher. Trent had other plans, you know the rest, and he woke up in his late 20s, a fugitive, with the magic powers he'd had in his mid-teens, and a life he felt he had nigh irrevocably destroyed. For a time, he lived mostly not because he wished to be alive, but because he felt his death would not serve his goal: his moonshot, to undo the mess he'd made of his past. Along the way, he met a goblin, and then he met a few people more. He started to laugh again, and to become more powerful, and encounter new ideas, and fall in love, and inch by inch, begin to heal - all without yet undoing his parents' death. He made arcane breakthroughs that had nothing to do with altering time and all to do with helping his closest friend. He tentatively found that there were other wizards he could trust, and learn from, and perhaps even care for.

And also, along that path, he learned there were others who pursued secrets about time, and possibility; there were wizards he could not trust but from whom he might have been able to learn. And he sometimes chose not to do so, because somewhere along the line, the plan changed. I don't think Caleb even realized it had until he was faced with his chance. It is worth noting that Caleb's murderous rampage through Vergesson Sanatorium, and his decision to leave Trent Ikithon alive, were separated by no more than a week.

Caleb did not end the campaign fully healed. That's not how this works; that's not even a meaningful or measurable statement. But he did end the campaign having told himself, inch by inch, that moving forward cannot happen while also moving backward. He let go of so many things, recognized they were not to be, and then he finally stood in a room with Essek with an ancient machine that said "you can do it. You can have what you've wanted for so long." And Caleb had planned this, planned it carefully, no paradoxes for him, just his parents living a quiet life half a world away, and he could have done it. In a way, it would have felt inevitable too. And he hears Essek say "Will you do it? I will help you." And he hears Essek say "But I accept my regrets, my thoughts now, and I'm here today with this knowledge, in this moment with you, because of those mistakes." And he hears himself say "Because you're not my cat. My cat is dead." And he sees himself with Frumpkin around his shoulders like a scarf in the tiny hut in the middle of the tundra. And he hears himself say "Yeah, he's always been one to control narrative. And that is a big part of holding onto power, controlling narrative." And he drags some dust up his arm, and disintegrates everything in the room, and burns what's left.

***

My brother works in a middle school (I promise this is relevant). My brother is also an openly gay man with rainbows plastered prominently on various laptop and backpack surfaces. As one might guess, he's had multiple kids come out to him. I think about this when I think about what Caleb said, about how, when the guard changes, will he and Astrid "mangle more children to feed the fields of Wynandir." And I think about what it means to the Assembly, who we know benefited from Trent's actions, who in some cases were well aware of them, to not only have one of his former victims among their number, but to have one in the very school they used to recruit. What it means that both these people publicly gave testimony. What it means to the Soltryce Academy students that there's a teacher they know will believe them.

Caleb has already struck down what he needed to of the Cerberus Assembly.

It's simple. Sometimes happiness looks like a return. Sometimes happiness looks like a boat heading towards the horizon. Sometimes happiness looks like a place to rest. And I think that it's not out of the question to say that to some, happiness does come after a righteous round of revenge. But does not look like that for Caleb, and what's more, while he took the whole campaign to discover how it might look for him - to even believe that it was a thing he could still perceive and one day have - it never, at any point, did.

#did i go perilously close to You Are Jeff by Richard Siken in one portion of this essay? yes.#did I hold myself back from writing parallel essays about the other 6 long term members of the nein? yes.#critical role #caleb widogast #oh the paragraph about destroying the t-dock: direct references to c2 episodes 141 130 120 110 and 141 again in that order #long post

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eorzeashan · 29 days

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Hey! I saw a post where you said Eight and Koth dated. *shocked* So I was wondering if you could do a post on Eight's love life 👀

Looks like everyone's got similar questions on their minds. XD @magicallulu7 Koth's relationship will be in the middle if you want to skip to it, but I've decided to summarize a few more to answer the full question (excluding the more questionable villains with which he's had dalliances with this time since I feel they've gotten enough spotlight). Without further ado....

Eight's (Not-So) Complicated Love Life:

Shara Jenn/Watcher 2

Shara, Shara, Shara. What agent doesn't share some sort of relationship with her, working or otherwise? For Eight, she might've been his first bout of feelings--feelings that he never acted on or acknowledged deeply enough, but ones that did make both of them realize that he admired her. She would've called it a compromise of a good agent. He would've pretended not to hear her. The thrilling part was that he was never ashamed or unabashed about his affection, and would never forget to show it to her either, whether in the workplace or somewhere more intimate. One could call him attached, but she knew better. Someone like Eight could never hold such a weakness, or so she falsely assumed. Perhaps the truth of it was too bitter a pill to swallow.

Time and time again, he's come at her request or her aid without really examining why; all he knows is that she's someone he always wants to look out for, the same way he does the Minister. Her and Keeper were Intelligence to him, and Intelligence was his family. He sold his soul to Jadus to keep her safe, even when she saw it as a betrayal of what she'd fought for, and that was the turning point in their relationship. Though Eight's care for her is unconditional and deeply loyal, the things they've left unsaid between each other--and themselves-- have slowly fractured the relationship they once had.

2. Koth Vortena

Excitement and a whirlwind romance sum up these two. Freshly out of carbonite and curious about Zakuulan culture, Koth was a whole new world to Eight, and the gentle, roguish touch that he'd seemed to been sorely lacking his whole life. The Alliance brought them closer together on more than one occasion, but it was the introduction of Koth being....Koth, a new element in a sea of familiar faces, that pulled Eight into his arms. It was sweet, young, fresh, and wide open. Things that being an agent just didn't ever bring to the table. People like Koth weren't a dime a dozen, and even rarer did they ever cross Eight's path. One could call him a bit shallow for gaining interest purely out of the need to gather intel on Zakuul from their resident Zakuulan, but it was done with genuine, honest intent from Eight. The smooching and cute pet names were....an unintended consequence of that.

In some ways, they were both innocent and a bit naive in certain ways to one another. Eight with his eccentric and antisocial habits, and Koth with his lack of exposure to others from other worlds. The other was a big adventure to them, and it showed, with the two often sneaking out to eat Zakuulan night market foods without notifying Alliance personnel. Though an unlikely pair at first glance, Eight's quiet nature contrasted strongly with Koth's vibrancy, and it was as they say: opposites attract. Koth loved him for his strength and bravery among other "adorable" traits that Eight denied existed, and Eight adored Koth's warmth and adventurous, open nature that seemed like everything he wasn't.

Alas, the latter sentiment spelled misfortune for the lovers, as Eight's hands grew bloodier from the war with Zakuul and their relationship began to feel the strain of it. Eight's thoughts that Koth came from another world entirely--a normal life with light and love and honesty--began to weigh him down heavily the more the fighting progressed, as he'd done nothing but kill his people and escalate the violence in service of the Alliance. Eight would never deny that he was a weapon made to kill, and that the world he hailed from was one that Koth and their relationship could not survive. He feared that Koth would see his true colors as unbending, bloodied steel made to cut down enemies and allies alike, and that Koth would reject him in disgust, as the Alliance had begun to. Day by day, their relationship descended into cold silence, as Eight slowly shut him out.

Koth tried to understand, pleaded for him to stay, that they could work it out together if he only let him help him--but Eight was not ready, and his heart trembled at the thought of such vulnerability. They left with incensed words and half-assed goodbyes that only left Koth with confused thoughts and dark emotions.

That's not to say their breakup ended their friendship entirely. Koth, to this day, retains his affections for Eight and calls him those silly petnames, if just to see the smile on his face again. Not being together hardly stops them from sharing the same close touch they had when they were and the occasional lingering glances, but hey, Koth is confident he doesn't need to be kissing Eight to show how much he cares. Just the way the world works, as he might say.

3. Rass Ordo

The newest in the line of Eight's love interests is the stunning Mandalorian, Rass. In some ways, he reminds Eight of Koth--playful and witty, with the addition of being a strong warrior, something an Echani such as he is privy to. Strength of character and heart are big factors when it comes to Eight's attraction, and it's just a bonus that he's quite nice on the eyes as well. Their relationship is still in the early budding stages, but they've shared more than a few moments in the heat of battle--or as they call it, the Echani and Mando love language.

Rass is attentive and sweet. Eight doesn't feel as if he has to hide anything from him, and their similar cultures makes him feel at home when he's by his side. Strangely enough, he feels compelled to fire back when the other flirts, like they're in one big battle dance with one another. Only time will tell where it takes them, and whether they're more than bursts of adrenaline in each other's veins.

#swtor #oc: orradiz #shara jenn #koth vortena #rass ordo #i'm not tagging all these ships dshadkasj #ueh ueh ueh......(softly crying over koth/eight)#ask meme: answered

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some-triangles · 4 months

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2023 IN REVIEW

So, the most important thing that happened this year is I got married. My wife likes to dress me up in extravagant outfits and draw me little cartoons. I am more content as a human being than I ever have been.

This doesn't mean my brain problems have gone away. If anything, the good stuff I have now has thrown the bad stuff into sharper relief, internally and externally. It's harder to ignore depression and anxiety when you're not by yourself. When the people around you aren't actively contributing to your agita and there are no more ambitions you got which remain unfulfilled (apart from the silly ones like being so rich you never have to work again) it kind of highlights how, y'know, the call is coming from inside the house, where the house is my body, and the gremlin living in the attic is my brain.

I am feeling less and less apt to tolerate bullshit. Maybe less willing, maybe less capable. This has unfortunately coincided with a significant uptick in bullshit in the outside world, as we continue our transition to an overtly scam-based economy and our sensible centrist president continues to fund genocide overseas. There don't seem to be any good guys left. I find myself unable to shrug and say that it is what it is with quite the same nonchalance as before. Maybe it's a product of getting old.

Oldness may also contribute to the fact that I no longer seem to be interested in listening to new music. My track of the year is 4Lung's "Sarab&e", which is a cancelled furry rapping anemically over a Satie sample - you gotta really kick me in the shins to get my attention these days. On the other side I find myself listening to a lot of jazz on the radio. Did you know Orville Johnson (that's right, of https://orvillejohnson.com/ ) put out a dobro-led cover of Gravy Waltz? And it's pay what you want on Bandcamp? Maybe there are some good guys.

In sum I don't care what band that sounds like one band but also another band came out with their music album anymore. Boards of Canada already solved music and that's fine.

Comics are still good. Gray Folie's "Idletry" continues to be completely fascinating. There seems to be an endless supply of good artists on Tumblr just making stuff and putting it out there for me to look at. Thank you to all of them. Also I hear a new zine from my favorite might be dropping soon - stay tuned for more on that.

All I read is contemporary SF for the podcast and that's also fine. Most of it. Apparently the new thing is books about raising autistic children or being raised by autistic parents or both, and that certainly works for me. My favorite book of the year is not about that, though, and instead asks what if the founder of the Ming dynasty was actually an ace AFAB transmasc with ADHD. It manages to achieve grand tragedy with this concept, particularly if you ignore the ending. (Also you have to read the first book first or it won't make any sense.)

My goal for the new year is that I manage to get the energy together to find a therapist or change my meds up or whatever. Things are good but they could be better, might as well try. I would also kind of like to move back to the east coast but we'll see. Maybe get a cat.

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shadowmaat · 2 months

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The Jedi were evil all along!

I debated replying to the thread I saw condemning the Jedi as "rigid" and implying they weren't that different from the Sith, but I would have been the only voice of dissent and given that one of the replies was from a Red Hat Cultist veering off on a frothy anti-Obama rant, I figured it was safer to just make my own post.

Look, no one is saying the Jedi are perfect, but they sure as fuck aren't evil, either. If you're basing your entire opinion on the thoughts and experiences of one individual then your view is incredibly flawed and you should maybe think outside the narrow hole you've dug for yourself.

From what I can tell, some of the worst critics of the Jedi seem to be fans of Anakin Skywalker. Or at least a carefully curated version of Anakin who was a perpetual victim and never did anything wrong. It seems to boil down to "if the Jedi had just let Anakin be openly married to Padmè, nothing bad would have happened!" Which is... certainly a take.

The one argument I see trumpeted over and over (and over) again is that the Jedi prohibition against "attachment" is terrible and wrong and makes them no better than the Sith. This hinges almost entirely on the idea that "attachment" is the same thing as "love."

It isn't. Fans have spent decades explaining why it isn't only to have their reasoning mostly ignored in favor of the more angsty/tragic idea that the Jedi were forbidden to love. 🙄

"Attachment," IMO, can best be summed up as a literal interpretation of this ever-popular gif:

[img: Rosa from Brooklyn 99. She's holding a small yellow lab puppy as she says, "I've only had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself."]

Anakin has, admittedly, "had" Padmè for three years instead of a day and a half, but when he thought she was going to die, he killed everyone in the Temple, then killed her, and then continued on a murderous rampage for the next 19 years or so.

"Attachment" is dangerous for anyone, but especially for someone like Anakin, who has additional powers at his command, rigorous training in how to use them, and three years experience as a war leader.

Personally, I also have questions about whether or not marriage is actually forbidden among the Jedi or if Anakin just assumed it was because "attachment." I can see it not being a common thing, and I can also understand a relationship coming under scrutiny to insure that it's a healthy form of love that won't interfere with a Jedi's ability to do their job, but it wouldn't surprise me if Anakin never looked into it because it would mean "sharing" Padmè with others.

Even if marriage wasn't allowed as a whole formal, legalized thing it doesn't mean Jedi can't form relationships. It would, as usual with the Jedi, be about balance. Can someone balance their personal relationship with their commitments to the Order? Can they set their loved one aside to do what must be done? Or will they drop everything to immediately rush to their loved one's side regardless of the risk to others?

We all know what Anakin would do; we've seen it with our own eyes.

The point is, condemning the entire Jedi Order because they didn't give Anakin everything he wanted, when he wanted it, and without question is a little bit of a stretch. Plus, all jokes about his inability to keep a secret aside, it isn't as if he ever went to them to discuss things.

"Well, he didn't think he could trust them because they hated him!" Uh, no, they decidedly didn't hate him, he just believed they did. It all hinges on his beliefs, not reality. And while you could certainly blame Palpatine for reinforcing his beliefs that the Jedi can't be trusted and that everyone hates/is jealous of him, it isn't as if Palps made that up out of thin air: he built on the seeds already within Anakin.

"That's because the Jedi-" No. Insecurities are rarely rational, and while you can argue that the Jedi "didn't do enough" to help Anakin, there are a few salient points to remember:

Anakin isn't the only Jedi in the Order; they have thousands of people to consider.

You have to know there's a problem in order to help.

The person has to be willing to accept that help in order for things to change.

The last two points also apply to those who would condemn Obi-Wan in particular. He has to KNOW a problem exists and then he has to talk his way around to try and get Anakin to accept his help. I know from personal experience just how heartbreakingly difficult it is to help a loved one when they won't admit there's a problem or they won't listen to your advice.

I can think of a lot of ideas that would be fun to experiment with in terms of making changes to the Jedi Order, but most of them involve adding more distance from the Senate and none of them are about catering to the specific (perceived) needs of one Jedi.

#jedi discourse #fandom wank

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elvenbeard · 11 months

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House party scenes 3/5: Goro and V

Goro feels a little out of place... everywhere really, not just at the party, as I mentioned in that post.

I haven't really come to a conclusion yet about how exactly I want to incorporate him into Vince's canon post-sun-ending. (To my shame I have to admit here, he died in my first playthrough during Search and Destroy cause I was unaware you could actually save him XD I haven't heard his Sun-ending voicemail yet, but I know the rough contents of it and... yeah XD ouch, but also, makes sense).

I just know, deep down, I want him to get his happy ending in a way, too. Takemura is repeatedly shown as impulsive af when he's upset or things don't go the way he's planned, and so I actually want to interpret his angry voicemail to V as that: something he did out of impulse, mad as hell at the perceived betrayal and what it means for him and the Arasakas in the long run, too. I would like him to eventually come around to realize though that there is more to life than blind loyalty and servitude, and V has given him a taste of that life. Like, Goro wasn't born into the corporate world like Vince, and Vince still managed to free himself from it all somehow and is thriving now. So maybe, maybe... I mean, Goro says himself that he sometimes yearns to just leave it all behind, join the nomads, and never look back. And I'd really love for him to that become true in some shape or form, being able to get rid of Arasaka's shackles, and finally find his own way. Better late than never.

And Vince, who deep down for a long time, despite everything, missed his time at Arasaka for a few key reasons, can really deeply relate to Takemura. Like, he is extremely suspicious of him at first, knows that to him he's just an essential asset to his revenge plans against Yorinobu. But he sees a lot of himself in Takemura, as they literally went through the same struggles when they got kicked out, although admittedly Takemura fell from much higher than Vince did. Obviously he's gonna take longer to realize that it was for the better.

I just really love about their relationship that they understand each other, while still not approving of everything the other does. They challenge each others views, and it's this constant back and forth between extending a hand and then being overcome by their own trust issues again, playing themselves more here than the other really, but also learning something about themselves.

After everything has come to an end though, Vince doesn't wanna play anymore and just honestly wants to help Takemura get back on his feet somehow. Be it through returning to Arasaka or maybe, just maybe realizing that he does not have to. That he's free to do whatever he wants to, would he just once not let himself be blinded by his loyalty (which, in and of itself, is not a bad thing).

He wants to be his friend, with no strings attached, no expectations. And that's something Takemura has to cope with and recover from the most in this situation... that someone would want him around just like that, not because he gets a use out of him. Just how Jackie wanted to be Vince's friend, the first true friend he ever had, that didn't just see him as an asset either. Yeah I guess that kinda sums it up quite well... Vince wants to do for Takemura what Jackie did for him, help him get out of that world that almost destroyed him as a person.

(Goro's outfit by @breezypunk 💜)

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 spoilers #cp2077 #cp2077 vp #cyberpunk vp #goro takemura #male v cyberpunk #cyberpunk v #vincent ezaki #my vp #my headcanons

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officialpenisenvy · 1 month

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hbo legendary S1 missed the mark on a lot of things that could have made it much better than its (admittedly fun and enjoyable) final product. review under the cut

how are you going to have a ballroom competition where only one of the four permanent judges actually comes from ballroom? law roach is understandable because he's a stylist and you need a fashion expert in the panel, megan thee stallion is already a very questionable inclusion, but jameela jamil has nothing to do with the world of ballroom and knows nothing about it, as is the case for most of the guest judges (dominique jackson being the one guest judge out of seven to actually come from ballroom). leiomy maldonado carried the judges' panel because she was the only one with any idea what good ballroom is supposed to be and what it takes to get to the top, while jameela jamil was five episodes in asking what's the difference between old way and vogue femme — could they really not find a single other ballroom icon willing to judge the show, for presumably a much cheaper price than megan and jameela?

dashaun wesley was a great MC but a less than stellar commentator who was at times off-beat, and the way most categories were executed didn't allow him much of a chance to show his talents off which is a pity. i was also not a huge fan of the music, the beat was often not very well-mixed or coherent with the actual category, though the production quality did increase in the final few episodes.

the categories themselves and how they were executed were also quite confusing, and again not executed to the best of their potential: every episode was a ball and every ball had a theme, with a few categories each house must partake in. this is a good set-up for a competition show, but i didn't think the execution was amazing; a huge amount of the categories were productions as a house, which i am very much not fond of but which i can understand were important to showcasing what a house really is and that it can be more than the sum of its parts. however, even the single-walker categories (as well as the few tag team ones) were confusing in their own right: the judges would at times give out tens/chops and at times give critiques, with no indication of which categories warranted which treatment, and the houses would often send out members that had never walked that category before, especially with face/body/runway categories. this to me is incredibly weird, especially when there were other members of the same houses that were experienced walkers in that category: you're in a competition that is meant to showcase the best of vogue, and you're going to send someone on their virgin runway to represent your house?? incredibly weird. there was also only one explicitly old way category and no new way categories, which was incredibly reductive and did lead to the overrepresentation of vogue femme as a style, though i did appreciate the focus on the five elements of vogue throughout the course of the season.

overall, i feel that this show didn't really know what it wanted to be: is it a fun romp that explains the very fundamentals of voguing for an audience of normies who's only ever seen pose on netflix, or is it a show for insiders showcasing the best of the subculture and going into very technical details? i might've appreciated either one, but as it stands, this season was very solidly neither: it was a messy show that wanted to bite off more than it could chew and which made questionable choices at just about every turn. nonetheless, i am looking forward to watching how seasons 2 and 3 improved on the fun and creative concept and elevated it!

#hbo legendary

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briefle · 5 months

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There's no lightning in the End.

Which is arguably not the most embarrassing detail about the whole ordeal, but it is up there on the list of what went wrong in the moments preceding and following her death.

But death doesn't feel like that much of a stark contrast when you simply fall into the void, all things considered. Instead of collapsing on yourself and being all-too aware of what was once solid ground and is now ether, everything simply stops hurting and your body just keeps feeling like slightly-falling-forever. Which has the additional effect of being an accurate representation of her emotional stability throughout this fun little adventure.

When Jimmy fades to her side, she hears an echo of thunder and the odd smells of singed hairs and mold. Mumbo, about 30 seconds later, also joins with the same entourage. And screaming about fenceposts. Which shouldn't, but feels on par for the course really.

It takes him an embarrassingly long time for him to calm down, but honestly? That made her feel a bit less alone, so she'll look the other way.

"So, – she starts, because it was clear the boys had managed to forget all manners, – how was Life without me. All 20 minutes of it."

Mumbo just sighs.

"Make that 10..."

"Yikes!"

"Yeah no it was- it was bad. I mean it was good for a bit, I was making some amount of progress in being a red name but then uh- chaos. Chaos happened."

"Mumbo. I love nothing more than when you try to sum up a really complicated situation in two or three words."

"YOU DON'T-! There's no task! That's just mean!"

"... Fair. Sorry. Please continue your non-explanation."

She even added a flourish for good measure, but when nothing was left but uncomfortable silence she didn't need a flat surface to tell that if he could Mumbo would be shifting his weight in a quite panicked fashion.

"Do you... not know how you died? What's going on here."

"I do! Warden caught up with me because of a stupid fencepost i placed-"

"Then?"

Jimmy's been so silent. It doesn't suit him.

"Boys?"

"Don't care. Curse's broken 's all that matters."

"Right." He can't be serious. Well... No, that's on par for as well. "Well then, Mumbo? Share what's weighing on you?"

It takes a few more minutes of silence. Then out comes the flood.

"I don't know why I died. And i know it's silly to care now! I understand caring on yellow, or red, when revenge is important and righteous and more useful than when you're stuck here with dead people - no offence. But even then! What revenge would await me at a life 0? Against myself? For falling off a stupid tower of blocks? For not seeing other options than to jump on that strider or for being dumb and falling into lava? Or for not removing my triumphant fenceposts? Would my revenge be just killing myself again? For a fourth time? BUT WHY? A WARDEN AND A WITHER. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SERVER. Oh I should have just moved out of the way. I should have-"

"Welcome to my personal hell!" Jimmy chips in, " "Should have"s and "Could have"s. Ain't got much else to do. Usually it's not long at all before everyone else joins in but, still greens and yellows and such..."

The rest is lost in a vague hand gesture and shrug.

Lizzie thinks it would have made her feel better if anything else was happening in the background. The sun stood indifferent in the distance, opposite the pale, cold moon. Motionless, the both of them. Nothing ever changing apart from the uneven, mischievous fluttering of the stars. One amongst them, refusing to flicker, just stared unblinking like a red eye watching over them.

"You know Jimmy I think you might be right this time!"

"I am?"

"I don't care that I died. That much. Everyone will be here soon and all their deaths will be even more embarrassing than mine because they were closer to victory than I ever was. And imagine choking up when you've almost succeeded. I wouldn't know anything about that."

"Right!"

It sounds almost involuntary as Mumbo chocked out a laugh. But then Jimmy's tentatively laughing with him, and really the wait could be worse.

#secret life #secret life spoilers #ldshadowlady #solidaritygaming #mumbo jumbo #i don't feel like i've read this enough times but if i give in and read it once more it's going to stay in the drafts forever #this session man...#.my writing

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cartyrs · 3 months

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How do you feel as a CielDoll shipper with recent chapters

this just reminded me that a new chapter is out and i just read it and i'm in the brain dimension. throwing this ask under a readmore bc it got long but it basically just sums up my opinions on the series as a whole rn:

my feelings on kuroshit have been complicated the past few years ngl! more than anything i'm very frustrated with how the story's been paced since the twin reveal, and i've found it very hard to stay engaged as a fan with how slow things are progressing. but that's also not what you asked so i won't rant about that LOL

I have very mixed feelings on this current arc - it's what finally got me back into reading bc DOLL! MY FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER! IS HERE AND I WAS RIGHT THAT SHE'D BE RELEVANT AGAIN!!! I'd really, really like it if Doll lives past this arc and is able to confront Ciel again. I think I might actually drop the series entirely if she dies here because it feels very pointless to me after all these years to bring her back if her whole point was just to [207 spoilers]. I'm really interested to see Ciel's reaction to her rebirth, esp if after coming clean about his true identity that he's able to be honest about the guilt he harbors over killing her. (SINCE YANA PUT DOLL AND JOKER IN THE SAME PANEL AS MADAM RED, CIELS PARENTS, AND R!CIEL IN CH 100, OVER 70 CHAPTERS AFTER NOAHS CIRCUS, ID GO CRAZY IF IT DIDNT MEAN ANYTHING)

I've always seen Doll as being one of if not the most significant character into understanding Ciel - his sympathy for her in Noah's Arc shows that despite how emphatic he is that he's forgone his soul, he does still care about people underneath it all. I'm pretty sure Yana's even said that if circumstances had been different (plot wise and also wealth wise), they could have been really good friends. I think Doll as a foil for Ciel reveals a lot about him - the biggest being her double-identity and reveal, as well as her playful, childish side vs. her cold, killing side (which even then, Doll doesn't want to kill - she just has to. I think deep down, Ciel is the same way). Same with Doll discovering Ciel's brand and having that empathetic moment with him over it, they don't go too deeply on it but Doll's backstory prior to living on the street is that she was abused by her parents and they scarred her face. She knows better than anyone else in the story what that permanent mark of abuse means for Ciel, and that's why she's so sorry she accidentally exposed his brand.

I've never shipped Doll/Ciel in a "canon" sense (like it just wouldn't make that much sense post-doll's "death", she despises him for killing her family, and after knowing what the circus did, she's nothing but a child kidnapper to him, criminal scum that's not worth anything). Their dynamic to me is so much about the "what if things had gone differently?" - which I also apply to Ciel's other friendships, particularly with Soma, Lizzy, and Alois (though season 2 is it's whole own discussion LOL). So much of Ciel's characater arc is about how he was willing to throw his own life and soul away thinking he had nothing after his parent's and r!ciel's deaths, as well as his own disgrace, but kuroshitsuji has shown us time and time again that there are people who deeply love and care about ciel, and if things had been different, if he hadn't sold his soul to the literal devil, he could have lived for them. i love Doll for him in this regard, because she's someone who doesn't know what happened to him. I think a big crux to Ciel's relationship with Lizzy (ignoring the incest aspect because of the period accuracy, but also because of the incest aspect I obviously do not ship them in a romantic sense) is that she knows more than most people about what happened to Ciel and his family, and that humiliates him. Pity and vulnerability humiliate him. This is a huge reason why he can't be honest with Lizzy about what happened - he doesn't want her pity, it only makes his reality that much worse. When he meets Doll, she's a stranger. And despite knowing nothing about him, she worms her way in and tries at every angle to befriend him. Also, given that his betrothal to Lizzy was by force (esp with how he steals her actual fiancees identity lol), I think if Ciel had been able to choose his own partner, he might have chosen someone like Doll.

ANYWAY - that's why I'll be really disappointed if they don't reunite at some point. I have some vague hope, since this is the last of the servant's arcs, maybe we'll get back to Ciel soon and Doll will get the confrontation she deserves. I actually really wasn't expecting [207 spoiler], that changes a lot for the character dynamics in this arc. I unfortunately haven't been a huge fan of Doll's actions in this arc, it feels horrifically out of character for me to believe that after her moral values are laid explicitly clear in circus arc (she feels guilty for kidnapping children and doesnt want to do it, but fears her older siblings retribution and fears Kelvin and feels an obligation to keep her family safe above all else), that she'd be willing to both make connections with the children at this orphanage as well as let them be used to keep her body alive... for what? To kill Ciel? Obviously she was brought back by Undertaker, but I doubt that Undertaker's true intentions are to kill Ciel, given how important the Phantomhives are to him (I think he's probably way more after Sebastian, but that's another thing entirely). So, why did Undertaker bring her back at all? Why is it Snake and Finny that find her, and not Ciel? Her personality once Snake and Finny discover the truth too is just all over the place, I don't particularly buy it.

I've felt that Yana's writing has seemed rushed and lazy since the twin reveal, whether it's her shifting her focus onto TWST, or that she's just trying to wrap up the series as fast as she can, while also still attempting to churn out monthly chapters (if you compare recent kuroshit volumes to old ones, old volumes had maybe 4-5 chapters, while new ones fit about 10 chapters at the same pagecount, so it's also waaay shorter chapters each month that don't quite move the story along). It's obvious to me that now that R!Ciel is out of the bag, the servant chapters have been a way for Yana to finally write plotpoints that she's had on the backburner since early on in the series (Meyrin, Bard, and Snake's backstories) - but IMO, terribly integrated. Finnys backstory in witch-arc is still some of my favorite parts of the series - because the arc itself is incredibly written, and Finny being highlighted fit in so well. It feels like with these mini arcs that Yana's just like oh shit what kind of plot should X servant's backstory come up in, and none of the newer plots/characters have felt deserved (i.e. the maids in meyrin/ran mao's story). Same thing goes for the characters in this arc, the children dressed like the phantomhive servants are just so weird and out of place to me. Why is this a thing??? An orphanage dedicated to making children act like ciel and sebastian and others and then sacrificing them as blood for Doll????? Why???? The whole scenario is weak and far-fetched IMO, I would've rather Doll's reentry (as well as Meyrin/Bard/Snakes backstories) been introduced in a more natural way, it genuinely feels like Yana is throwing all her cards on the table to wrap the series up without any loose strings.

SO, I don't have like, a TON of hope for Ciel and Doll's story to be wrapped up in a way I personally find satisfying for their character arcs, I'm vaguely hopeful that they'll at least just meet again, but as you can read I've had very mixed feelings on the direction that the series has taken for years now (servant backstory arc has been going on since MARCH 2019 LMAO..), so I'm sorry that your very simple question turned into a rant HAHA but this is like, the crux of my relationship with Kuroshitsuji atm.

Kuroshit has had its fair share of problems, many of which I'll be the first person to go out of my way to critique. I've been able to rationalize being a fan by touting just how good the manga's story is. Nowadays, really not so sure I can stand by that opinion! However, Doll's also like... is The character of all time for me. I've even been contemplating getting her tattooed lately LOL. So, regardless of the direction the series takes, even if it just absolutely tanks, she'll always remain incredibly special to me, as will Ciel and all the characters I've loved over the years.

#blackbutlerfandomnerddomain #asks #SORRY THIS GOT WAY INTO OTHER OPINIONS BESIDES CIELDOLL but my feelings on cieldoll = my feelings on the state of kuroshit as a whole #i kinda wanna tag this but i dont know what to tag an analytic kuroshitsuji post.#if you also are frustrated by the current arcs feel free to reply with your opinions!#cartyrs.txt

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