The Star and the Starling
[my entry for @finweanladiesweek, featuring Amarie and Elenwe]
Elenwe is dead.
She was dead for as long as she remembers; she knows, of course, that someday, somewhere, she must've been alive - but those memories are now long gone, leaving her with nothing but quiet sadness and longing for something she couldn't understand.
Elenwe was dead, and Helcaraxe is quiet and empty.
At least it isn't cold, she thinks (stars shimmer in the dark sky, snow and ice glimmering under their light). At least it's not cold, and she isn't freezing.
(there's water, and a scream, and it's cold, cold, cold-)
She doesn't remember the "before". Not anymore.
Helcaraxe is dark and quiet and empty. So, it's a surprise when one day, it isn't.
It all starts with two souls, small but warm and determined, filled with hope and life. Silly things, Elenwe thinks, watching them from her ice wall. Life doesn't last in Helcaraxe.
Helcaraxe is dark and cold and empty. Helcaraxe is a grave.
Until it isn't.
They glow like stars, their steps dingling with the quiet melody of thousands little golden bells. Are they stars? Elenwe isn't sure; they might as well be. Do stars freeze?
"Aren't you cold?" she whispers, and one star startles. It stares at her - it's eyes are wide and blue; Elenwe feels her memory pulling her back, back to the sun and gardens and songs - but she just smiles. "Aren't you cold, sweatheart?"
The star just stares, but then, its features soften.
"Oh," it whispers. "Oh, poor thing."
~
The stars stay.
It's fun, really - having someone to observe, having someone to watch; Elenwe giggles to herself, leaning closer to the frozen barrier between herself and the blue-eyed star.
"Hello..."
"Hi."
"Aren't you cold?"
The star shifts, tucking itself under the thick furs, and shrugs. "I may be, starling. Are you?"
"I'm not a starling," Elenwe protests, confused. "You are, sweatheart."
"I... do you remember me?"
"I don't remember much," Elenwe confesses apologetically. "Why? Do I know you?"
"No," the star whispers. "I guess you don't. Not anymore."
"I'm sorry, sweatheart," Elenwe says.
"It's alright, starling," the star answers, and there's a quiet sadness in its voice.
~
There's another star, too - it feels familiar in a way Elenwe can't explain; its eyes are grey and filled with sorrow, hair glowing with warmth and summer. It rarely stays in the camp, wandering away; sometimes Elenwe can hear it's quiet voice and melodic dangling of bells.
Her star, on the contrary, rarely exits the cave.
"What are you doing here, sweatheart?" she finally whispers, and the star's eyes dart to her. "What are you looking for?"
The star looks away.
"We came looking," it says, quiet and calm. "Looking for you."
~
"It wasn't always this place, was it?"
"... No. It wasn't, starling."
"Did I know you, sweatheart?"
"You did."
"Were we close?"
"I... I don't know."
~
"I'm not leaving without her, my King."
"...I know, seldё. Neither am I."
~
"Do you want to... remember things that were before?" the star once asks cautiously.
"Oh," Elenwe replies, stilling.
Screams, cold, and water, water burning in her lungs-
"Oh, I... I don't know, sweatheart."
~
"I miss you."
"But..." Elenwe frowns, "I'm right here, sweatheart. Am I not?"
"You are," the star whispers. "But at the same time, you're not."
"I'm sorry."
"Not your fault, starling."
~
Sometimes, Elenwe wonders if she's forever trapped in this cold, quiet place, locked in the wall of solid ice. Sometimes, Elenwe looks at her stars and feels sad, because - stars aren't going to stay, are they? They will leave, and it will be quiet and cold and empty again.
Elenwe doesn't want them to leave.
Her star sleeps peacefully near the fire.
~
"Wake up, sweetheart. Wake up."
"Elenwe," the King says, standing on the entrance. Elenwe flinches, hiding into wall. The King sighs.
"I'm sorry, dear."
"Why?" she asks, tilting her head with curiosity. "Did I know you, too?"
"Yes," the King whispers, and his features soften. "You did."
~
"Will you leave, sweetheart?"
"I won't, starling. Not without you."
~
When they tell her she can leave - when she sees the King singing quiet melody, charming another soul into a tiny little bell - she is scared, because Elenwe is dead, and Helcaraxe is all she remembers, and it is dark, cold and empty, and she is freezing and the starlight shimmers in the white snow. But her star won't leave, because it is stubborn and determined and filled with life; and it's not leaving without her.
She must've been alive, someday, somewhere.
She might want to be alive again.
20 notes
·
View notes