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danniburgh · 3 years

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Give you what you want (Javier Peña x f!reader x Horacio Carrillo)

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader x Horacio Carrillo

Summary: You’ve been crushing hard on Javier - and Colonel Carrillo. And when they both find out about it, they can’t help but indulge you.

Word count: +11.1k

Chapter warnings: mild angst, mentions of violence, divorce talk, discussion of polyamorous relationship. OT3 SMUT, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, double penetration, alcohol, a lot of cum lol

A/N: this is a collab between me, @maharani-radha-writes and @queenofthefaceless, okay, yes this is a repost (basically the blog in which this os was posted blocked me). originally posted on april 6th 2021

ao3 // Masterlist // ko-fi

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓

Carrillo slammed his face on the steering wheel of his car with a groan. He had just spent all day in court finalizing his divorce—which had been going on for months—and just as he had gotten home, he realized that he had forgotten his service pistol at the office. Something he was not allowed to bring in the courtroom.

Fuckers.

He had separation anxiety from it, so even though he had multiple spares in the house, he had one trusty weapon, and he wouldn’t be caught dead without it. He glanced at the clock, and saw that it was only eight o’clock, so it wasn’t too late for him to swing back to base and grab it. Shaking his head, he turned the ignition of his car back on and reversed out of his driveway to head back to the station.

When he got there, he used his keys to enter through the back doorway, not really wanting to have to greet the guards at the front. He was just… way too done with people that day. Although he and his by then ex-wife had separated amicably (or as amicably as it could get), the divorce had taken a huge toll on him. He and Juliana had separated about five months before, and he had spent that time sitting in lawyers’ conference rooms, arguing over this and that. He was ready to just give her everything and anything she wanted if it meant he could get that painful process over with.

Truth be told, Carrillo was lonely. He had been for a long time, even while he was still married to Juliana. They had been less of a married couple and more like roommates for the past year at least, and it was getting to them both. His job was tough and dangerous–Juliana didn’t understand a lot of it. To be fair, he kept most of it from her, but that got exhausting after a while. He longed to just...let go, and he couldn’t do that with her. And after a while, she had decided that staying married to him (and his job) was more trouble than it was worth. He couldn’t blame her, not one bit.

It didn’t matter any more. He had firmly closed that chapter of his life, and was ready to move on. He didn’t know what the future looked like for him, but the only thing that he was sure of was that Pablo Escobar would be dead. He would make sure of it–even if he died trying.

After finding his service pistol, which had been stuffed in a holster under his desk, Carrillo closed the door to his office, and proceeded to walk down the hallway to the back exit. But he stopped when he heard voices coming from the bullpen.

Odd.

He hadn’t seen anyone when he had come in. He turned slightly and strained his ears to try to see if he could discern who it was. Then he heard the distinct Southern American drawl of none other than Steve Murphy. The man had been pulling late nights in the office ever since his wife got up and left him.

“All right, kiddo, care to tell me what the fuck your problem is?”

Who–? Was “kiddo”? It certainly couldn’t be Peña. It was a Friday night, surely Peña was off….doing something (or someone) else.

“What’s my problem? What’s your problem, Murph?”

Oh, it was you. The lone female agent of the DEA. Carrillo had been quite wary of you when you had joined the team about a year before. He really wasn’t sure what, if anything, you would be bringing to the table. And he thought that having two DEA agents was two too many already. But over time, you had proven to be a strong, capable, and intelligent partner, and his respect for you had grown.

Bringing you to Colombia had been a good decision, on the part of your superiors.

Now that he had identified the two people still stuck in the base, he should have been satisfied and been on his way. But something about Steve’s tone of voice kept him rooted to the spot. He really, really shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, especially since he was sure that it was a conversation he was not meant to hear.

“You’re on edge. A lot more than usual,” Steve said, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Steve. Just drop it,” you grumbled.

“Oh, so there is something?” Steve snarked, “Look, I normally would back off and leave you alone, but you’ve been highly distracted lately. And it’s affecting your work. I need to know what’s up or at least confirm that you’re going to get this resolved soon because we need your head in the game.”

Now that Steve mentioned it, Carrillo had noticed that you were...not yourself. And you hadn’t been for a while. But Carrillo was too caught up in his own drama to give it much of a thought.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, “I’ll try not to be so scatterbrained. I’ll fix it, I promise.”

“Is this what I think it is? The thing you told Connie that I’m not supposed to know about?” Steve asked.

Carrillo knew he absolutely needed to leave. That was not a conversation he should be listening to. But he just could not help it.

“You’re going to have to be more specific, Steve. I’ve told Connie a lot of things,” you chuckled, nervously.

“I mean about–” there was a pause, presumably Steve looking around to check that nobody was there, “–your feelings. For, uh, ya know, Peña?”

Oh. That was news.

“And–uh–Carrillo I think?” Steve continued.

Wait...what?

Carrillo whipped his head around so fast that he winced as his neck twinged in protest. Since when...since when did you have feelings? For him? And Peña? What was happening? Someone needed to shoot him because that could not be real.

“Must you say it aloud?” you hissed.

“I’m sorry, kiddo, I don’t mean to embarrass you,” Steve apologized, “And normally I would mind my own fucking business, but this is getting out of hand. You really don’t think I notice the cows’ eyes you make at Peña when he’s not looking?”

“I don’t do that!” you denied, indignantly.

“Okay fine, maybe that’s a bit dramatic,” Steve conceded, “But the point still stands. You definitely need to get this fixed. Have you thought, oh I don’t know, telling Peña? Or even Carrillo?”

“Are you crazy?” you stammered, “Do you have any idea what that would do to my career? Not to mention that Carrillo is...fucking married?”

“Well, he’s divorced now,” Steve clarified, “And nobody has to know. It’s nobody else’s business but yours. I’m just saying, think about it ok? You deserve an outlet, just like everyone else.”

Carrillo decided that it was best to not stay and hear what you had to say to that. Instead, he hightailed it out of the base, as quickly as he could, trying to keep his footsteps light so as not to alert you and Steve to his presence. Once he was finally in the safety of his car, he put his head back onto the seat and let out a long breath, trying to figure out what he was going to do with that information. He couldn’t deny that the idea of you having feelings for him was incredibly flattering. You were a very guarded individual and quite hard to read sometimes–not so dissimilar to him. He would have never, in a million years, guessed that you would be interested in him, and that was mostly due to your closed off persona.

But to find out that you had feelings for both him and Peña? That was an interesting development. Carrillo didn’t know how to feel about that. But he can’t deny that it intrigued him...more than it should have. His mother would be completely mortified if she found out that he was entertaining this--whatever it was.

But his mother was not here. His wife was gone, and had taken the kids with her. It was just him, and his large house. And now, apparently, you and possibly Peña. Carrillo tilted his head contemplatively and started the ignition of his car.

Maybe...just maybe, there was something to this whole charade.

**Scene Break 1**

Steve was tired. Scratch that, he was exhausted. Not physically, but mentally.

Javier had been looking at you for far too long, and Steve could taste the yearning and the tension that lingered around the office when Peña looked at you. It was maddening, and Steve had no idea how Peña had managed this long without jumping you. After all, he never seemed to have a problem getting a woman’s attention and keeping it. So, why were you so different?

And the worst part of this whole circus is that you were so blissfully unaware of it. It made Steve’s mouth foam with rage.

When he told Connie over the phone, the previous night, what you had said to him and how you had confessed to being attracted to both men, she actually convinced him to talk to Javi on your behalf. Because Connie knew you, and she knew you would just shut up about it, guard it as if you were a dragon with a treasure, never say a thing, and suffer in silence until your feelings went away. And if they didn’t. Too bad. Steve hadn’t wanted to get involved. After all, you were an adult, and Javier was an adult. You should be able to sort these things out yourself. But alas, that had not happened. And if Steve didn’t do something about it, it was going to get out of hand, quickly.

So when you got up from your desk and got out of the office, Steve walked to Javier and slammed his hand on a pile of files that Javier was almost hiding behind.

“Yes, Murphy, how can I help you?” Peña drawled, trying to keep his voice as even and unaffected as possible.

“Don’t give me that innocent bullshit, Peña,” Steve growled, “I’m so sick of you.”

“What could I have possibly done now?” Javier huffed, pulling a cigarette out of his pack and lighting it. He figured that if he played dumb, Steve would go away.

Alas.

“You, and her,” Steve said, emphasizing his point by jabbing his finger in the direction of the door you had just walked out of, “There’s something between the two of you. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

Javier decided not to answer that. Instead he just took a puff of his cigarette and stared at Steve, daring him to continue.

“I’m serious Peña, stop playing coy. This is starting to affect your working relationship, and I’m getting sick of it,” Steve grumbled, “Do something about it. Now.”

It took a few moments of silence, but Javier finally decided to concede to Steve. Truth was, Javier’s head was full of thoughts. Full of you. Truth be told, getting infatuated with you was just a matter of time.

You were just… frustratingly attractive, incredibly strong and so damn smart. A dangerous combination, you were almost perfect. And that, scared the shit out of him. It had been a long time since Javier felt like that; he didn’t like the vulnerability of it all, he didn’t like how it was way too apparent that whatever you did, for small that it was, affected him in some way. He didn’t like the fact that he wanted to be with you all the time, see you all the time, talk to you all the time. He wanted to protect you all the time even when he knew you could perfectly protect yourself. And he had been feeling like that for months.

Javier interpreted that as karma, getting so madly, deeply into you and getting absolutely nothing in return. Until Steve chimed in, nosy as ever, to speak about something that was clear as a water drop but he just kept denying from himself.

He replayed what Steve had told him while he puffed from his cigarette and for a split second, and let himself smile at the words of his partner.

Steve was right. He was aware of how much he had been missing and how affected his job seemed to be because of how much time he spent thinking about you. It was so unlike him, and it was very unprofessional. But he just couldn’t help it.

You and your strikingly beautiful being. You letting him hold you close. You, with your hands on him. You and how sweet your lips must taste. You and how your naked body must look in the dimmed lights of his bedroom. Fuck.

So he decided, after his partner all but scolded him about being too dumb to realize, that he was going to face you and just… make things happen.

Steve smiled to himself while looking down at a file when Javier stood up from his own desk and walked out of the office.

“Attaboy,” he mumbled to himself.

**Scene Break 2**

You weren’t sure what it was, but suddenly the air in that bullpen had become oppressive, and you just needed to get out. Well, frankly...you weren’t stupid. You knew what was causing you to feel this way. It was stupid Steve and his stupid way of being right all the time, how the fuck did he do that? At some point, you were going to have to tell Javier (and possibly Carrillo, as well) how you felt, but if you could put it off for longer, you were absolutely going to do so.

You sat on the concrete wall bordering the police base, observing quietly as the citizens of Medellín went about their day, getting lunch and catching up with their colleagues. There was a man selling arepas just a few feet from you, and the smell was amazing. But no matter how tantalizing the scent was, you just couldn’t bring yourself to eat. All you needed was some air. Yeah, that’s what you needed. You’d be fine after a few moments.

Unfortunately, your peace wasn’t to last long, and as you were soon to discover, your observational skills would need a check up because Colonel Horacio Carrillo himself had just plopped himself next to you, and you hadn’t even noticed. Carrillo, for his part, waited a few moments before clearing his throat, startling you from your thoughts, and successfully getting your attention.

Ah shit.

One of the exact men that you didn’t want to deal with right now was sitting right next to you.

Joy.

“Those arepas look fantastic,” he remarked in that lovely accent you really liked, “Do you want one?”

You shook your head.

“No thank you,” you mumbled, “I’m fine.”

Carrillo hummed.

“I’m sure we could find something else if you would prefer. There’s all kinds of food in Medellín,” he replied. But you refused again.

“No, really, I’m fine. I don’t want any food,” you said.

Carrillo tilted his head and clasped his hands together, leaning forward slightly. He gave a small, almost imperceptible smirk, and if you didn’t know him so well, you would have missed it.

“I see,” he observed, amusedly, “So, then, Agent. What do you want?”

You frowned, and furrowed your eyebrows. What...what was he doing?

“I–I don’t want anything,” you replied, completely flabbergasted.

“Hmmm,” Carrillo began, “I don’t believe you. I think you want something.”

You raised your eyebrows at that. You’d never known the Colonel to be so bold.

“I want Escobar dead,” you quipped, “Same as you, I suppose.”

“Ah yes, I certainly want that,” Carrillo agreed, “But I want something else. Something that I imagine might be the same as you.”

You scratched the back of your neck, nervously, not sure where this was going.

“All right, Colonel, I’ll bite. What is it that you want?” you questioned.

Carrillo adjusted his position on the wall, turning so that he was facing you squarely. He looked you straight in the eyes before taking a deep breath, as if he was working up the courage to say something.

“You.”

You felt the air leave your lungs, Carrillo’s face was a puzzle laid before you but before you could say something else, you heard a deep, timbered voice calling your name.

You reluctantly turned around and saw Peña walking up to the both of you, you felt Carrillo shift beside you and let out a sigh, as if he knew something like that would happen.

“I was looking for you,” Javier mumbled, almost as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear but you.

“So, you found me,” your voice was shaky after the Colonel’s admission, and you tried to control it “What?”

“Can we–uh–talk?” he said, and you looked back at Carrillo.

“Can it wait?” you pleaded.

“No,” Javier declared.

“I think I know what this is about,” Carrillo announced, and you frowned at him, asking with your eyes for him to elaborate. But he just stayed quiet, looking between you and Peña.

“What do you mean?” Javier huffed, “This is a private conversation that I need to have with her.”

“I think we all need to have this conversation,” Carrillo mumbled, looking at the ground for half a second before returning his gaze to you and Javier.

“What are you two on?” you asked, frantically, “I am so confused.”

Javier glanced at the Colonel, at the way he was all but shifting around like a nervous kid. He realized Carrillo moved like he was hiding something, like he had a secret he so wanted to confess.

“Do you know something?” Javier questioned him, furrowing his brow. The Colonel turned to study him and there was a small moment in which they said nothing, and their eyes just locked.

And there, Javier saw him, as he was. Colonel Horacio Carrillo was an honorable man, everyone knew that, but as he was honorable he was dark, and Javier had a small suspicion of what he knew and was badly hiding.

Javier felt himself smirk at the man and Carrillo smirked back, and Javi knew it. Because he never misses things like that. For him is like having a sixth sense, somehow enhanced by his career and his experience. He just knows. Javier had never been indifferent to men. After all, being honest with himself, he had a little crush on Steve before he saw the wedding band. And Carrillo was… just his type. He never thought he would have the chance to even get closer to the Colonel like that. In the end, the time was not right and he was quite sure Carrillo wasn’t like that.

Clearly, he had been mistaken.

“Okay you two, I’ve had enough,” you grumbled, “What is going on? I’m sick of these games.”

“This is not a game,” Carrillo said, finally looking at you, you felt your frown get deeper.

“Then what is it?” you demanded.

Javier shrugged and took one last look at Carrillo, as if to confirm his consent, and replied.

“An arrangement,” he deadpanned, “With both of us.”

“If you want it,” Carrillo added, quickly.

You shot up from the wall you were sitting on and turned to glare at both of them. Javier put his hands on his waist and leaned on a leg, and Carrillo stood up as well, clasped hands in front of him, just waiting for you to say something. Anything.

Javier glanced nervously at Carrillo from the corner of his eye, searching his face for any sign of hesitation. I hope this is gonna go how you were planning, Carrillo, he thought, Because if it doesn’t and she refuses to speak to me again after this...I swear to god–

“Where did you get this idea?” you blabbered, feeling the sting of nervousness and insecurity settling into your stomach. Along with something else in your lower belly you refused to acknowledge at all.

Javier sighed, and shook his head.

“Steve Murphy has a big mouth,” he murmured.

“Dios mío,” you exclaimed, “He told you both?”

“Well, he told me,” Javier said, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t know about our Colonel over here.”

Now it was Carrillo’s turn to look sheepish.

“No, he didn’t say anything to me,” Carrillo admitted, “I overheard the two of you talking the other day.”

“You eavesdropped on me?” you gasped, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Is nothing I say private?”

Carrillo at least had the grace to look ashamed.

“It was an accident,” he tried to assure you, “But–I don’t regret listening in. I haven’t stopped thinking about it. About you.”

You scrubbed your face with your hands, trying to figure out what you were going to do. It wasn’t that you were–unhappy–more so embarrassed. You’d been carrying this secret for a long time now, and to have it so out in the open made you feel more exposed than ever. And you hated the feeling.

“I’m gonna need a minute,” you said, “Can we talk about this later? I need some space.”

Without waiting for a response, you briskly walked away from the police base and in the direction of the city. You weren’t sure where you were going or when you were going to be back. All that you knew was that your privacy had been massively violated, and you needed some space to collect yourself. Alone. And perhaps when you had calmed down, you could think about Carrillo and Peña’s proposal, like a functioning adult. But right now, you were too embarrassed (and aroused, let’s be real), to think straight.

Javier turned aside to look at Carrillo when your figure had disappeared into the city.

“So,” Javier broke the not-so-awkward silence, “Are you okay with this?”

Carrillo huffed at the question and glanced at the agent, noticing in him things he hadn't noticed before.

“Are you?”

Javier felt his stomach drop at the Colonel’s question… interesting.

“I’m all in,” he replied, smirking at Carrillo.

“Yo también.”

**Scene Break 3**

It was later in the afternoon by the time you had calmed down enough to return to work. You couldn’t believe what had happened today. You absolutely wanted to smack Steve. What you had told him was in confidence, and he had broken that trust. But you couldn’t deny that you were happy with the result. The idea of having even just one of those two men was enough to get you going, but both?

Men like them?

The pool of arousal was already forming in between your legs.

You could not deny how much you had wanted this, and how much you had been dreaming about it. And for a very long time. For god’s sake, you had lost sleep over this shit. It made you feel dirty, filthy, unprofessional. But you just couldn’t help it. You’d done a decent enough job of keeping your feelings in check, but now the cat was out of the bag.

And not only did these two men know how you felt. Apparently, they felt the same way. And for some godforsaken reason, they wanted you.

Were you really going to say no to an opportunity like that? Were you truly that stupid? No matter how much you were angry with Steve.

Connie would lose her shit when you'd call her to tell her about her husband’s work.

You walked into the bullpen and saw the office door opened, the first thing you saw was Javier’s face buried inside a file, his posture rigid and his hands grasping at the folder as if it were a lifeline.

He looked up and his eyes went wide when he saw you walk in.

But then you saw Murphy, sitting like nothing had happened and you saw red. You rushed at him and without a word your hand flew and you smacked him on the back of the head.

“What the fuck?” he yelled, and you heard Javier laughing behind you.

“You asshole,” you hissed, “Exactly what made you think it was a good idea to tell him? I trusted you to keep your mouth shut.”

“Excuse me,” Steve groaned, rubbing the back of his head, “I did you a fucking favor. I got tired of hanging around with you two idiots, just looking at each other and not saying shit.”

“You should not have done that,” you growled, fixing him with what you hoped was your most intimidating glare.

“Perhaps not,” Steve shrugged, “But I don’t regret it.”

“Can I–say something?” Javier asked behind you.

“No. Shut up.” you hissed without looking back at him.

“You do something like this again, and I’ll kill you,” you threatened Steve before storming out of the base, and into the parking lot. You sat in the driver’s seat of your car and banged your head against the steering wheel. You had had every intention of finding Peña and Carrillo and taking them up on their offer, but now all feelings of boldness had been once again replaced by shame and embarrassment. No doubt you were the talk of the police base, what with your massive crush on two of your colleagues.

Although you knew it was irrational, you couldn’t help but feel as though Carrillo and Peña were making fun of you. You knew it was stupid. Both of them were grown-ass men. They wouldn’t be so immature. If they didn’t like you at all, they would have just left you alone. But you just couldn’t help the raging insecurity you were feeling. Perhaps if you had actually told both of them, directly, how you felt, rather than let Steve Murphy do the hard work, then maybe you wouldn’t be feeling this way.

But that was all water under the bridge now, you supposed.

Later that night, you were heating up a pitiful TV-dinner in your apartment, not feeling up to eating, but you needed something, when your phone rang. You froze with the fork halfway to your mouth. There were only a handful of people who had your landline number, and even then, only a few of those people would have the guts to actually call it. This wasn’t going to be a fun conversation.

Sighing, you trudged over to the phone and lifted the receiver to your ear.

“¿Sí?” you asked, quietly, and you heard the low voice of Colonel Carrillo on the other end.

“It’s me,” he said softly, “You left work rather abruptly. I called to see if you were fine.”

“As fine as I can be, given the circumstances,” you grumbled.

“I’m sorry that things transpired the way they did, truly,” Carrillo mumbled, sounding genuinely apologetic, “But I meant it when I said I don’t regret finding out.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” you snarked, “You’re not the one whose colleague breached her trust.”

There was a pause before Carrillo spoke again.

“Do you regret it?”

Now it was your turn to pause, contemplating your words and how you would respond. You didn’t want to hurt him, but at the same time, you wanted to make it clear that you weren’t pleased with the means---even if the end was fantastic.

“I regret how this started,” you replied, slowly, not trusting yourself to say anything further.

Carrillo hummed over the line, contemplating your words.

“I can’t blame you for that,” he said, “But forget about Steve for a moment, please. Have you thought about it?”

You inhaled and held your breath for ten counts, trying to calm down your racing heart. You couldn’t deny that just the mere thought of being in the same room with these two men, especially in a non-platonic setting, was difficult for you.

“I think you know the answer to that, Colonel. You aren’t stupid,” you quipped, “Have you discussed this with Peña? I must admit, I am surprised at you both. This doesn’t seem like something either of you would be interested in.”

“We’ve discussed this, absolutely,” Carrillo said, recalling the deeper conversation he had with Peña earlier that day after you had slapped Steve, “I think we’ve both surprised ourselves, if I’m being honest. But if the attraction is there, it’s there. But I want you to know, there is no pressure. This only goes as far as you want it to go.”

You frowned at that.

“What do you mean?” you pressed.

“Querida,” he sighed, “What happens between the three of us–well–Peña and I know where we stand–it’s up to you now. If you don’t want this, then just say the word. We’ll pretend this conversation never happened.”

You took a shuddering breath and tried to respond as best as you can.

“I–”

“You don’t have to give me an answer now,” Carrillo interrupted gently, “Think about it. Make sure it’s what you want. Then you can let us know.”

“I–ok,” you stuttered, for lack of a better response.

“I should leave you to your evening. But think about it, and let me know what you decide ,” Carrillo said, “Have a good night, querida.”

“Sure, good night, Colonel,” you mumbled, hearing the click on the other end, indicating that Carrillo had hung up.

You passed the rest of the evening in relative silence, going about your mundane business with an extra air of heaviness. Slowly you could feel the embarrassment from the day give way to desire. As you lay by yourself in your bed, clutching at your pillow, you couldn’t help the acute sense of loneliness that you felt. After all, you hadn’t really had anyone before you came to Colombia, and your job here certainly killed whatever chance of having a relationship you might have had. It was why you had so easily fallen for both of your colleagues.

You were lonely. And they were lonely too. But it wasn’t just out of loneliness. You’d seen what Peña was like when he just wanted to have a warm body next to him. Just as it had taken courage for you to confess how you felt to Steve, it must have taken just as much strength for Carrillo and Peña to admit the same to you. This wasn’t going to be a one time thing–born out of isolation and tragedy–it would be something much more meaningful than that. You could feel it.

You glanced at the clock, seeing that it was just past midnight. Although you knew that Carrillo usually stayed up late, you didn’t want to bother him, so you dialed the number of the only other person who you knew would be up this late.

“Hello?” Javier Peña gruffed on the other end, clearly annoyed at having been woken up.

“Javier, it’s me,” you said, by way of greeting. You heard some rustling of bedsheets, no doubt Javier was fully awake now.

“Are you all right?” he asked, concern coloring his tone.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you assured him, “I just–I’ve thought about your offer. Yours and Carrillo’s.”

You heard a sharp intake of breath over the phone.

“And what do you say, cariño?” he questioned, hope ringing in his voice.

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself.

“Yes. I’m saying yes.”

**Scene Break 4**

You sat inside Javier’s car, silently, as he drove the two of you through the streets of Medellín towards Carrillo’s address. It was a Friday–exactly a week from when Carrillo had overheard you talking to Steve, and you were completely floored at how your life had changed that fast. You didn’t regret anything though, not one bit.

You were nervous though. Having one of these men was enough to make you swoon, but both? You weren’t sure what was going to happen. All you knew is that it would be a fantastic night. You just hoped that you could keep up.

A hand on your knee brought you back to the present, and you glanced over to see that Javier was eyeing you out of the corner of his eye as he drove.

“Relax, cariño,” he ordered, “It’s just us.”

You laughed.

“I know, that’s what I’m worried about,” you said, jokingly. But Javier wasn’t having it.

“Why would that make you nervous?” he asked, turning to face you when you had stopped for a red light.

“You two are my friends and colleagues,” you stated, “I don’t–want to disappoint you. Especially since we will have to go back to work after the weekend.”

Javier shook his head and pressed down harder on the accelerator, hoping that if he got you to Carrillo’s place faster, you’d stop your fatalistic thoughts.

“None of that,” he grumbled, shutting down your line of thinking as quickly as he could, “What happens between us tonight stays between us. That’s it. No pressure or expectations. Just enjoy yourself, okay?”

You nodded, not quite trusting yourself to speak. And thankfully, you didn’t have to say anything because you and Javier finally pulled up in front of Carrillo’s house. It was a much larger property than you had expected, with a beautifully-kept lawn and a mango tree just at the front of the house. It was a stunning place to live, and the thought that Carrillo had been staying there alone, with nobody to share it with, for the past several months just left you heartbroken.

Well. That was likely about to change tonight.

“You’re still sure, cariño?” Javier asked, taking your hand in his and staring at your knuckles, “If you’ve changed your mind, I can drive you back now. No questions asked.”

You shook your head.

“I’m completely sure, Javi. Don’t worry,” you assured him, and Javier nodded.

“Bueno,” he mumbled, “Let’s go.” And with that, the two of you walked up the path to Carrillo’s front door and rang the bell. Carrillo answered almost immediately, face relaxing at the sight of you.

“I hope you didn’t have too much trouble finding the place,” he greeted, stepping back to allow the two of you to enter his house.

“I have some wine if you would like,” Carrillo suggested, leading you and Javier into the kitchen after the two of you had kicked off your shoes.

Carrillo walked straight to the fridge and took out what appeared to be a pretty expensive brand of wine, but neither you nor Javier said anything in regards to it. Instead, you both sat down and exchanged a series of fugitive glances at each other.

You thought you needed the wine, the bitter, strong taste of alcohol to run through your veins in order to be able to process the moment in its entirety. But suddenly, as you glared at both Javier and Carrillo, there was no need for anything else. No liquid distraction to be drunk beforehand, no ridiculous and meaningless pleasantries or comfort words. You knew those men. You trusted them with your life every day when you went out there on the streets, and you trusted them just as much now. Their mere presence was sufficient to relax you and ease the tension, although you thought they would both agree that the tension was thicker than you could’ve imagined.

“I trust you both, and I care about you both, so damn much.”

It came out of the blue; you weren’t even sure you thought about it in your mind, and yet you said it nonetheless, standing up. Both of them seemed a little surprised by your impromptu confession, but patiently waited for your continuation, if there was any to begin with.

“What I mean is… why make this harder on ourselves? Why bother with small talk and awkward conversations when we can just… do it, enjoy the night?”

Javier was the first one who smirked. And of course he would, he was probably used to a lot of those moments, or similar ones, and had almost no issue baring it all, you thought. You swore, for a brief, almost too rushed moment, that you saw Carrillo hesitate with saying something and averting his eyes from both you and Javier, but you brushed it off. Instead, he looked tall and mighty at you, as his official position required, and smiled gallantly at you.

“You are the one in charge tonight,” he told you.

Simple, yet effective.

From the moment you heard that sentence, it did something to your ego. It gave you an unexpected boost of confidence, it sparked a desire, a flame so bright and hot you wouldn’t have believed it to be true in any other situation.

You took a few steps closer to Carrillo, all the while having Javier watch the scene unfold from the kitchen entrance. He stood up when you did, out of some long-forgotten courtesy that he didn’t used to care about anymore, and he just knew where it was all headed. He recognized the look in your eyes, the longing on your face. He knew what it meant, how much it must’ve consumed you, and he felt oddly enticed and captivated by it.

Just as swiftly as the night began, Carrillo’s hands rested on your waist while he kissed you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he only brought you closer to him; his lips tasted surprisingly sweet, with just a faint tint of nicotine. Your chest was pressed against his, warm clothed skin found yours and you shivered against him. His hands gripped your waist as if saying farewell to them and he slid them up your body. You could feel Peña’s eyes fixed in your bodies, staring at the scene, and when the Colonel broke the kiss to nibble at your neck, you opened your eyes to see him next to you; half-lidded brown deep eyes, an opened bottle of wine in one hand and his lower lip in the other. Your skin was burning, and you had barely been touched.

You smiled at him when Carrillo took your jacket off, Peña smirked and took a sip of wine directly from the bottle, careless about any pleasantries.

Carrillo’s wet tongue latched softly at your pulse point and ripped a low moan out of you, you closed your eyes again when his hands gripped your ass over the fabric of your jeans.

“Colonel, please,” you muttered, sighing as you felt his large hands had fun with your flesh and grip it after hearing the way you called him.

“Words, querida” he just replied, putting some distance between your wet skin and his lips.

“More,” you bit your lip, Carrillo smirked at you and you noticed the way his eyes darkened with desire in front of you. He turned to look at Javier, who was still standing at the kitchen entrance, palming his erection over his jeans.

“Bring that,” Carrillo said, pointing at the bottle, then slid his hand from your ass to the small of your back and guided you towards the staircase.

Between your hazed eyes and the cloud of lust that had begun to invade your mind you looked around Carrillo’s space and wondered how a man like him could live in a place that big. You smiled to yourself when he put his hand on the small of your back and soon enough Peña caught up to you, you felt his ever so imposing presence behind you.

Carrillo opened the door to the bedroom and pushed you softly inside.

You didn’t even have time to take your surroundings in when you felt a pair of warm hands find your hips and a set of lips grazing at your earlobe. Your eyes closed by themselves and the sweet, strong smell of Javier’s cologne invaded your nostrils as he pulled your back flush against his chest.

“Sh–shit,” you let out, half a whisper, half a moan, when you felt Carrillo’s hands roam around your waist.

You were losing yourself between the touch of the two of them, you shivered when Carrillo cupped your breast as Javier nibbled at the skin of your neck, from behind, you tilted your head to the side to give him more room to do whatever–the–fuck he pleased with your neck.

“Mírate, chiquita,” Carrillo whispered, you felt his breath on your lips and when you re-opened your eyes you saw him inches away from your face “you’re already wrecked.”

You felt Javier chuckling against your flushed skin, and you bit your lower lip, bringing a hand to the Colonel’s nape to pull him closer and kiss him again.

One of Javier’s hands found itself under your shirt, his mouth was moving and his other hand pulled softly at your shirt over your shoulder to find more skin to lick and kiss. Carrillo found the hem of your shirt and broke the kiss to look at you, as if asking for permission and reassurance that you wanted what he wanted. Javier watched the silent exchange and smirked against the skin of your shoulder, he gave it a last brush of his mustache and a last kiss before you nodded to the Colonel and he helped you out of the garment.

Carrillo smiled to himself when he saw what you’ve been hiding under it, a black, only-lace bra that showed the shade of your nipples, you bit your lip again when you took in his disheveled figure, his notorious erection under his military green pants that made the pool between your legs grow.

“How are you this fucking beautiful?” Javier muttered behind you, his mouth leaving a trail of kisses behind your ear to your nape.

Your breath hitched when Carrillo kneeled in front of you and you felt your chest heaving with desire when his large fingers dextrely unbuttoned your jeans and his thumbs hooked on the hem. He looked at you again and you nodded for a second time. Javier looked over your shoulder at the Colonel slowly sliding your jeans off your hips then your legs and he left his hands roam around the now naked skin of your torso. Your hands landed on the back of his head, and he took the hint, attacking the skin of your neck once again.

Carrillo threw your jeans away once he helped you out of them and you moaned loudly when his lips grazed against your knee. One of your hands dropped to grab Carrillo’s head as his trail of kisses moved up, up, up until he reached the soft skin where your thigh and your hip joined. You were sure he could smell your arousal, you were sure he could feel it at that point and you didn’t care, for once you let yourself only feel and let all thought out of your mind while you felt two mouths, two men, take care of you.

There was no hesitation from Javier’s side as his fingers gently grazed up your spine, expertly unclasping your bra, taking in the image of the straps loosening on your smooth skin. He was damn near panting at the mere sight, but he had to remind himself that that was only the tip of the iceberg. The moans you were letting escape your mouth as Carrillo pressed gentle kisses on your inner thighs aided him in no way. He felt himself get harder and harder and fought off raging instincts to turn that moment into another one of his one-night stands.

Javier made sure he tasted your skin while he took the straps from both sides between his fingers and slid them off your shoulders, he felt you shivering under his hands and over Horacio’s mouth and you could feel the smirk on your skin, once the bra came off, Javier took your chin and moved your head to face him, he pressed his mouth on yours, his tongue hungry for your scent, invading your cavities and feeling your warmth rush through his body with the speed of light. Everything about your scent was intoxicating and consuming, and ever so addicting that he could barely find it in himself to stop.

But then his calloused hands found your breasts and oh–oh, shit.

That first squeeze, tantalizingly slow and powerful, took you out completely. You gasped, and you weren’t sure if it was Horacio’s warm breath in between your legs or Javier fondling your breasts, but you embraced the overwhelming effect both had on you. Javier squeezed again, and moved around to locate the sweet torture of his mouth onto your nipples, taking one in his mouth whilst his thumb moved over the other one, twisting it in between his fingers as he nibbled at your skin. His tongue left a glistening trail as he peppered kisses in between your breasts, moving up your sternum, collarbones and neck and focusing on one particular spot that seemed to drive you wild. So much so that you reached behind your back to grab a handful of his hair, pull him in closer however you could.

“Lay her down, Peña,” Carrillo cooed, and the man followed suit.

You saw the Colonel untuck his shirt and take it off while Javier kneeled on the bed and helped you lay down on it, the softness of the sheets embraced you and the coldness made you whimper softly.

It was a premiere for him to witness Javier Peña, of all people, being so submissive and attentive, but he had other matters to focus on at the moment. His mouth left your already glistening and plump lips to grab the bottle of wine, your eyes followed him as you felt Carrillo’s hands spread your legs open and kiss the inside of your legs again, Javier came back to the bed and kneeled next to you, his hand gripping the bottle and the other cupping your face, he smiled softly at you and took a sip from the bottle; you moaned when Carrillo’s hands worked to get you out of your lace panties and Javier leaned down to you, the hand that cupped your face moved to your chin and he opened your mouth with his thumb, letting the wine pour from his mouth to yours, the wine was warm and it tasted sweet, when you closed your mouth and swallowed, Javier’s thumb grazed your lips and you heard a hard pant next to you, you turned to see Carrillo’s lusted face, you gave him a soft smile and he all but threw himself to you, kissing your mound, you moaned again and Javier leaned back, bringing the chilled bottle closer to your body, letting the tip of it graze against your warm skin, between the cold sensation and Carrillo’s lips tasting you, you were about to scream, Javier looked at you, smirked and pour some of the wine all over your breasts and abdomen, immediately reaching down on your again to lick the liquid off. A bit of the wine had traveled down your abdomen to your lower belly and found its way into Carrillos mouth, the feeling of the cold wine and their tongues made you growl. You had two pairs of equally sinful and skilled lips teasing and licking deliciously well over your exposed skin, and you had half of mind to grab either one of them and get to business. You couldn’t recall the last time you felt so aroused, but it was all a masterful torture and all for a good time. If anyone else was allowed to have their downtime, why shouldn’t you?

It was somewhat futile to even attempt to please either one of the men in return; their own pleasure seemed to be revolving around yours and they were both doing such an incredible job out of it that you had a hard time trying to keep track of where did the waves of pleasure come from anymore. It was all one big tsunami of feelings, from overstimulation to lust and appreciation and love in some form.

Carrillo continued his ministrations while Javier licked the remains of the wine from your body, his tongue traveled to your sternum and he took a nipple on his mouth ever so briefly, then he stood up and quickly undressed, not bothering to be cool about it, he just threw his clothes to the floor while he looked at Horacio have the time of his life between your legs, you let out soft moans and whispers and while Javier took off his jeans he saw your hand grip Carrillo’s hair as your hips hatched against the Colonel’s face. You felt his tongue flicking your clit and he pushed a thick finger inside you, curling it around, building you up and throwing you off the cliff with the same force he had put you there. You came on his mouth with his name on yours.

As you laid on the bed, legs spread for Carrillo as he helped you ride off your orgasm, Javier kneeled back on the bed next to your face, his hand snaked its way around your neck, gently grabbing both sides and helping you take his erection in your mouth, which you were more than happy to do. You could tell he was somewhat tensed: he was doing his absolute best to control his motions and to keep it at a normal rhythm, but the more you involuntarily groaned as Carrillo began to glide his tongue across your slit once again, building up your second climax, the more Javier was slowly losing bits and pieces of himself. Within seconds, you could just tell you weren’t gonna last long, but neither would Javier as he picked up the face and jerked his hips forward more and more, thus obliging you to take more of him in. You couldn’t explain it, nor find any logic behind the action itself, but you swore you felt his release in Javier’s impatient thrusts and, sure enough, mere seconds later, he finally came, grunting as ropes of his seed dripped down your jaw.

Your moans returned when Carrillo added two fingers to his mouthy torture over your clit, and you felt like you could explode. Not long after that all-too familiar gut feeling, that almost persistent desire to burn, you came for a second time, eager to jerk your hips forward and meet as much as you could of Carrillo’s tongue, but this time, the man’s grip over your thighs was impossible to break. He held you in place ever so expertly and ate you out like you were his favorite five course meal, soaking up every ounce of juice that you provided him with.

You temporarily lost feeling in your arms as you tried to raise them to make at least Javier pay attention, but words also failed to leave your abused mouth.

“Que buena chica,” Carrillo said from somewhere down below. (What a good girl.)

Your brain didn’t register what he said properly. All you could feel was a fire so intense, so vivid, you nearly saw stars. And something told you that was only the beginning.

And you were proven right.

In the momentary lack of physical touch, you thought about the moment itself, having two of the strongest, most desirable men eager to please you–simultaneously, might you add–and the more you thought about it, the more it threw you off completely. Why? You weren’t really sure. Perhaps it was the idea in the back of your mind that you wouldn’t have thought yourself capable of that. Or them, really. The activity hadn’t been exactly on your to-do list over the past few years and yet now, you couldn’t have thought of a better way to figure out your feelings for them, and to spare time.

The freshly acquired ecstasy was not only enthralling, but efficient as well.

After your second orgasm at Horacio’s ministrations you saw him between your lusted, narrowed eyes, undress completely, Javier was next to you, trailing his fingers up and down your wet torso–wet with wine and his saliva, what a fucking thought– while the both of you saw Carrillo take the remains of his clothes off and took in his lean figure, Javier smirked when he saw him whole and thought to himself the things he would do to the man if he had the time.

Javier wrapped his arms around your waist and helped you roll over to the side to face him, licking his bottom lip in the process and made sure you watched as he did so. He had been eyeing you up and down the entire day, whether clothed or not, and every glance he threw you, ever so dark and desirable, filled with subtext and desire, made you weaker and weaker, just like Carrillo’s touches were.

You reached his face and took his lips in yours, his tongue slid inside your mouth and as he explored the insides and his hand grabbed fistfuls of your ass, you felt the bed shifting behind you, and another hand snaked from behind and found your breast, you were being pressed against and between two bodies and the wam of them was driving you insane, when Carrillo’s fingers played with your nipple you bucked your hips forward and you felt Javier’s erection graze at your lower belly. Javier moved his hand from your ass to your thigh and then he let it slide to your pussy, you bucked your hips backwards and you felt Carrillo’s erection graze at your ass.

“How are you still this wet, bonita?” Javier asked, while his fingers found themselves between your lips.

“Don’t you know the answer by now, Javi?” you muttered, feeling the way Carrillo’s mouth found your shoulders.

You glanced at him and Carrillo the same way Javier looked at you and you understood in an instant why he always preferred to be that way. It was enticing, addicting and sinful, just the way he was.

And by the looks of it, Colonel Horacio Carrillo was no saint either.

“How do you want this to go, chiquita?” Horacio asked behind you as you moved your leg up to allow Javier’s fingers to find a way inside you.

You sighed. Why was he asking you that question when you weren’t even sure something like this would happen? For a brief, brief second you wanted to hide, just grab your clothes and hide. But you found yourself sandwiched between the men that you most desired and you just couldn’t waste this opportunity for the life of you.

So you rummaged around your deepest, filthiest fantasies you’ve had when everything had just been a sinful dream, a product of your lascive thoughts giving into what you catalogued as your darkest secrets and desires and you found one you couldn’t stop think about after it had given you a stars–behind–the–eyes orgasm.

“I want both,” you muttered, feeling the way both men groaned at your sides, “both inside me, please.”

“You sure?” Javier asked, pulling out his fingers from your cunt and looking at the way they glistened, you nodded.

“Words, chiquita,” Horacio said and you turned to see him, he leaned down and stole a short, deep kiss.

“I’m a hundred percent sure,” you murmured against the Colonel’s lips.

“Let’s get you ready, then,” Javier whispered on your neck and you sighed when his fingers slid back into your slit, you closed your eyes when Horacio played your nipples around his fingers and then his hand roamed down your body, finding their way to your pussy.

“Déjame entrar,” Horacio said under his breath, Javier stopped moving his fingers inside you and you squeezed your eyes tighter when Carrillo slid two more fingers inside your cunt.

“Fu–fuck, fuck,” you gasped, Javier let open mouthed kisses around your face and the skin of your neck within reach while your walls tightened around their thick fingers.

“You okay?” Javier asked and you nodded a few times before your body relaxed and got used to the intrusion.

“Mo–move,” you pleaded, feeling Horacio’s mouth nibbling at your shoulder and your neck.

Javier and Horacio moved their fingers at the same time inside you, looking at each other as if marking a dancing pace. You didn’t know what to do with yourself as they moved in and out and curled their fingers in all directions inside you, making you moan and whimper and open up more for them as they somehow found an identical pace to torture you with.

“Eso, eso nena, lo estás haciendo muy bien,” Carrillo praised behind you, feeling the way your walls were giving into the attention and dilating around their fingers (That’s it baby, you’re doing great)

“Más,” you pleaded, rolling your hips against their hands “Más, más,”

They grinned at each other, Javier’s eyes landed on your face and took in the way your features quirked in pure pleasure. Their fingers moving at the same time, pacing in and out faster. Javier’s mouth landed on your shoulder and Carrillo only took in the lewd noise his and Javier’s fingers were making as they pulled in and out at a murdering pace.

“Oh, sh–shit,” you bit your lip and tried to hide your face inside the crook of Javier’s neck but Horacio pulled you away with his other hand.

“We wanna hear you, querida.” he whispered behind your ear, you shivered again at the feeling of his warm breath and then it became too much, their fingers were covered in your arousal as you spread your legs impossibly wider as your throat began growling and your hands landed on both of them, digging your nails on their flesh. Javier hissed against your shoulder and Carrillo bit the skin of your mouth, both of them throwing you together from the cliff and your body spasmed between them.

“Oh my god, oh shit, fuck!” you screamed between their bodies and they slowed their pace to help you ride down your climax “please, please, fuck me, please,” you let out, almost desperately, eager to feel the same with them inside you. They slid their fingers out of you and you shivered again.

Your body was already a mess, after three powerful orgasms you were panting for air, the only thing you wanted was them inside you, you wanted to feel every ridge and every vein of them, you wanted; you needed to cum around them both.

“What is taking you so long?” you opened your eyes, quite frustrated at the lack of attention to your bodies, but the sight that you took in was otherworldly.

Carrillo had his fingers, his covered–in–your–arousal fingers inside Javier’s mouth.

“Fuck,” you let out, dropping your head on the mattress, looking at the way Javier grabbed Horacio’s wrist to keep his hand on his mouth and lick them clean of you while Horacio’s deep gaze took Javier in with a smirk adorning his face.

Horacio pulled his fingers out with a soft pop and they both looked at you, panting and brushing a nipple with your fingers.

“Next time you’ll have to put on a show for me,” you teased.

“You’re ready?” Javier asked, leaning down to kiss your temple, you looked at Carrillo and smiled at him as he licked his fingers.

“Very,” you replied, softly, your voice was already hoarse because of the moaning and screaming they had pulled out of you, they got comfortable on each of your side and you took a deep breath when Horacio lifted your leg and hooked it on his hip.

Javier was the first one to tease your entrance with the dripping head of his cock, when you felt it sliding up and down your slit you gasped and as he pushed himself inside you you grabbed his arm and licked any part of his skin available for you.

“Oh my god,” you cried out softly.

Javier was having a hard time staying still when your walls were warm and wet around him, his hands roamed around your body as Carrillo lined himself with you and him as well and then he pushed.

“Holy fucking shit,” you had close your eyes at the feeling of Horacio making his way inside of you, you breathed and panted and tried so hard to relaxe but they were thicker than their fingers and your pussy was clenching already around them. Javier took your hand and you squeezed his as both of them bottomed up inside you.

Horacio put his hands over the entanglement of yours and Javi’s and the three of you gasped and panted until your body stopped squirming between them and your walls stopped closing themselves at the feeling of two thick cocks making their way inside.

Javier had to close his eyes as well when he felt how your cunt clenched him tight closer to Horacio and he felt himself throb inside you, when he opened his eyes he saw you, open mouthed gasps leaving your body as it got used to being that full, and then his eyes traveled to Horacio, that buried himself in the crook of your neck, he supposed he was feeling the same way as him, trapped in a oh–so–tight hole with him.

“Move, move, move,” you all but begged, the initial sting of being filled like that disappearing and being replaced with the darkest, deepest, hottest desire you had ever felt, “fu–fucking move already!”

Horacio smirked against the skin of your neck at your demand and moved slightly to look at Javier, who nodded once and then, murdering pleasure; Javier pulled out and as he was thrusting slowly back in, Horacio pulled out and moved in as Javier moved out and you gasped and the air in your lungs left you for the time being as your cunt was filled with the two men you wanted the most.

It was pleasure delivered in a delicious swing of two hips rocking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth into you, making you impossibly wetter, incredibly hornier, and way too lost in the haze to even care about anything else.

The way that they were fucking you was shameless, the noises were lewd and your moans invaded the room as soon as they picked up the pace and kept driving into you at the same pace but in different directions.

Four hands caressed your body, two sets of lips nibbled at your skin, two tongues tasted the salty sheet of sweat that had covered your body, two thick cocks used your body at their will, making you want to explode; it was an eager combination of feelings and sensations pulled out of the most sensual, lechery, degenerated dreams you could ever had.

“Harder, please, pleasepleaseplease,” you panted out, gripping any skin and limb your hands could find. Your hips started rolling and rolling and rolling with them as they thrusted and pounded inside you.

“Mierda,” Horacio gasped behind you, biting at your skin, making you whimper.

“You’re so fucking tight, so fu–fucking good, baby,” Javier cried out as your pussy clenched around them and you absentmindedly rolled your hips harder.

It was an entanglement of limbs and wet skin, mouths clashing against skin, hands gripping and grabbing available flesh, a swing of bodies and a symphony of licks, kisses, hums, gasps, pants, begs and praises.

“Shit, sh–shit,” you panted harder and clawed at Javier’s arm when you felt the well-familiar tug on your belly of an incoming orgasm, you hummed and moaned and you felt lips in your ear, licking and nibbling at your earlobe, “I’m so close, más,”

Javier gritted his teeth when you demanded more and angled his hips to pound inside harder, Horacio followed his lead, dropping his hand on Javier’s shoulder for leverage. Carrillo’s touch burned in Javier’s skin and he felt his body stiffen with the feeling of his second release.

“Por dios, querida, me estás matando.” Horacio cried out behind you, feeling as well his body falling from the cliff. (My god, you’re killing me)

Javier’s free hand slid through your wet, glistening skin and his finger circled your clit slowly, you screamed his name, your legs buckled and your entire body squirmed with the sea of sensations your body was feeling and flooding with.

“Cum inside me, please, please,” you panted again, feeling the way your legs started to shake as both of their thrust became erratic and Javier’s finger kept circling around your bundle of nerves you exploded around them, gushing out and soaking them as your orgasm made you scream both their names.

“Mierda, querida, mírate,” Horacio grunted before he gave into the lustfulness of it all and came inside you and around Javier.

Once Javi felt the warmness of Carrillo’s release and the way you soaked both of them and his hand, he locked his hips with yours and spilled himself inside as well, gasping out your name.

“Ohmyfuckinggod,” you let out as a sigh, feeling your legs tremble with the strength of your climax.

The three of you stayed like that, joined, for a while. As your bodies relaxed you finally opened your eyes and saw the way Horacio’s hand was resting on Javier’s shoulder, wrapping you as well between them. Both of them breathing heavily, eyes closed, recovering from whatever the hell you had done was called. You sighed and smiled to yourself. If it weren’t for the four orgasms you had and the way your cunt was throbbing after the abuse and dripping with their seed, you wouldn’t believe it was real at all.

“How was that, cariño?” Javier asked, grazing a hand up and down your arm.

“That was–magnificent,” you gushed, not sure how else to describe that positively euphoric experience, “I think–you two have worn me out.”

Horacio chuckled and moved your head to press a kiss to your forehead, and shifted to allow all three of you to lie somewhat comfortably under the covers. You whined when they pulled out of you, solely because at the loss of them, you felt empty.

“Rest now, querida, we’ll be here in the morning,” he whispered into your hair, and that was all the permission you needed.

“We should–” you brought a hand to your mouth to cover a massive yawn, “–do this again sometime.”

After that, it didn’t take long before you had succumbed to the tempting pull of sleep. Horacio sighed and glanced over your shoulder at Javier, who looked rather worn out himself. Tenderly, Horacio reached over and brushed aside a small strand of hair that had fallen in Javi’s face.

“So, same time next week, then?” Horacio asked, giving Javier a lazy smirk, which was returned in kind.

“Yeah,” Javier mumbled, turning over to drape his arm around your way and bury his face in your neck.

“Absolutely.”

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191 notes · View notes

vrisrezis · 3 years

Text

Aot characters with a crush and in a relationship (spoilers for all the anime tbh) (HAVENT proof read sorry for any mistakes)

- compliment her at all and she’s a blushy mess

- showing gratitude towards her also makes her blush

- she is protective, acts like a mom sometimes since she’s always making sure you’re eating, sleeping etc. she is very worried for your health usually and if you’re anything like eren she has to constantly look after you

- not good at comforting or affection; she would be very flustered if you hugged her though

- quite protective in general but especially with you

- you’re her top priority in battle and at times it clouds her judgement

- if somebody ever hurt you she will attack them unless somebody stopped her

- she is very jealous also, like if anyone took an interest in you she is very annoyed by them so quick dude

- kinda tries to get rid of the person and get you to stop talking to them, she just tries anything she can to get you to stop talking to them if she felt they were truly a threat

- probably gets jealous of Annie

- would blush ofc if anyone suggested her liking you

- would feel betrayed if armin or eren liked you (honestly she’d be so pissed omfg)

- probably would “accidentally” grab your hand somehow, or even to grab your hand to help you up, or to stop you, etc. she tries so hard to be subtle but she is not subtle

- she adores you though for real, anybody can see it as it’s quite obvious ...

- she holds such a attachment to you it doesn’t feel right not having you around she’s kinda clingy..

- she holds in her feelings for a long time because she doesn’t wanna ruin what you have + being in a war and shit really doesn’t help

- she’s scared to lose you, she lost her family already and almost lost eren so she’s very scared to lose you

- actually that’s how she confessed, she confessed how scared she was to lose you after a nightmare she had and ending up telling you her feeelings and you’ve been together since

- being affectionate is something she isn’t amazing at, but she will try since she’s dating you now

- she is overal very shy, you probably have to initiate most things but after awhile will initiate small things like holding hands

- she likes when you’re affectionate though, and she will tell you that if you ask

- comforting her after a nightmare is a common occurrence, apparently insomnia runs with the ackermans ...

- while she may not be the best with comforting she will do whatever you want, speaking of which she in general will do whatever you ask of her

- loyal to the bitter end it seems <//3

- still a blushy gal

- she just looks at you so lovingly with a smile, she loves you so much

- jealousy is a thing within your relationship but it’s not too common.. but sometimes it happens and she gets possessive and doesn’t know what to do

- still protective, she sleeps with you now and when you don’t she gets paranoid. She gets really worried if youre ever in any distress also

- she adores your hugs the most, please just hug her please she hasn’t felt a proper hug in years

- after this is all over, she really just wants you two to live together and have a normal domestic life. She wants kids too, she truly just wants to be a normal girl with you.

- with a crush she is not shy unlike mikasa.. she is actually pretty straight forward with her advances and doesn’t beat around the bush about it

- she is very flirty, and will often state she likes you or wants to date you etc

- always protective of you, with how much she flirts maybe she makes it seem like she wants to have a one night stand or something. She shows in other ways she cares for you and is protective

- even before dating can be physically touchy, wrapping an arm around you often. Maybe a kiss on the forehead or cheek, maybe she grabs your hand. That’s when she’s having a good day though.

- she opens up about most things with you ... most things.. doesn’t open up about the titan thing for a long time

- she doesn’t bother to hide anything in terms of her feelings for you, she doesn’t think of relationships and love as weakness and feels no reason to hide your relationship

- she makes it very apparent though she would kill anyone for you if you desired (except historia)

- if anyone threatens you she is killing on sight

- when she’s absolutely sure she is in love with you is when she decides to date you, though she mainly holds back on formally dating you because you could die at any moment

- she literally just asks you out since by now she knows you like her, full confidence but with a soft smile

- now she’s just really affectionate and loving, hand holding at (almost) all times, kisses on the forehead and cheek are still there of course but we all know kissing your lips is her favorite

- she tells you she wants to marry you after all of this is over, you can only hope.

- while showing a much more vulnerable and soft side is rare she shows it when you two are alone and she’s feeling a certain way (take that as you will)

- she’s a big cuddler honestly

- nightmares are often but never wants to admit to it or ask for help, just stay awake with her and help her back to sleep anyways.. she’ll appreciate it more than you know

- as shown by previous statements is very protective of you and honestly would not like anybody that did not like you

- while not overly lovey dovey she has her moments

- she makes you promise her if she dies you better not give up on your life

- but she doesn’t plan on dying anytime soon

- still flirty with you of course but it’s much more cocky/confident (while yes she sounded like that before dating it’s more genuine now, she was kinda worried for awhile you didn’t like her)

- if anyone shows interest in you she is kicking their ass I stg she is such a jealous bitch

- she calls you an idiot affectionately if that was even possible

- “my idiot” like ok girl

- Reiner likes you guys together he adores y’all and so does historia (he probably likes y’all together so he has a better chance with historia)

- just spending alone time at night is your idea of a date since you can’t really go on dates

- trains with you often, especially if you’re weaker than her she can use it as an excuse to help you train

- she ends up just flirting with you the whole time though

- are you clumsy? No? Doesn’t matter you are now because she will constantly make you trip and fall only to mysteriously always be the one to catch you ;)

- she already asked you to marry her all you guys have to do is survive <//3

- usually when flirting it’s about how hot you are, she never really gets sentimental but when she does it’s very sweet

- so many times she’s caught looking at you lovestruck she’s secretly a nerd

- first glance at you and she’s like “that’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen wtf”

- and ever since clings to you like her life depends on it

- fr this girl is a huge simp

- she has a habit of randomly grabbing your hands

- totally not because she just wants to hold your hands

- she likes you so much she will even share her food with you

- sometimes can’t help but blush, it’s always embarrassing to know how flustered she can get around you

- at times can be protective, but really only in battle. How can you expect her not to though?

- often finds excuses to spend time with you, even if Connie and Jean are around it doesn’t matter as long as she’s with you

- Connie definitely teases her about her obvious crush on you, bonus points if you’re oblivious because he will do it even more often

- hugs you randomly

- does stupid shit to impress you, just embarrasses herself

- doesn’t stfu about you when talking to Jean and Connie

- confessing takes a long time, honestly it takes a lot of Jean and Connie convincing her to just tell you already since they’re sick of her embarrassing herself in front of you or just gushing over you

- when confessing, it was simply her telling you how she felt and offering you some meat.

- in a relationship she’s pretty much the same but doesn’t hide how she feels, now not only is she gushing about how much she loves you to your face, but even moreso with Connie and Jean, and embarrassing herself increases... Connie and Jean truly regret their life decisions now

- dates aren’t common for people like you guys but she will just be like let’s eat meat alone together and that’s your idea of a date.

- often goes to you for help when she does something stupid and needs help... like eating all the food

- it’s hard for her not to get bored on certain missions, so you keep her entertained

- honestly you have to keep her from falling asleep

- she tries to goof off with you too much and it gets you both in trouble

- PDA is a big yes if you’re comfortable

- cheek kisses are common

- if she’s ever scared she’ll cling to you, like FR you always make her feel safe and protected.. (even if she’s the one to save you often no matter the situation you make her feel safer)

- always holding hands with you pleass

- she wants to get the war over with so y’all can live together maybe with Connie too

- links arms with you so often

- her idea of being romantic is just sharing meat with you but like at the same time? Yknow that Disney movie with the two dogs sharry spaghetti ? Yeah that’s y’all with meat and bread

- she likes to think she can impress you with her skills but you’re usually the one saving her ass from Titans and her gushing over how strong you are

- you can call her anything even insult her it doesn’t matter she will gush anyways... heart eyes for you all the time wow ..

- loves squishing your cheeks she thinks it’s cute

- where do I even begin? This girl ... she will do absolutely anything for you, she is so sweet she will just .. do whatever you tell her to

- as long as she sees that it benefits you...

- she can be quite blushy at times though

- she will be so sweet to you, even if you’re a shit. Sure, she’ll have a few things to say about it but she adores you so much she lets it slide and is nice to you

- she’s very touchy physically when liking you, although a bit shy about it she tries to make it seem friendly

- she hates liking you though because we all know she’s a whole ass lesbian that’s a queen and will be forced to marry a guy so ... can’t say she exactly likes that she likes you so much

- she’s not protective as she’s aware of your abilities, she doesn’t feel the need to be and it’s likely you’re tougher than her anyways

- worries for you a lot though, mainly when it comes to how your mental health is

- if youre ever in a tough situation she tries to help any way she thinks she can help

- she doesn’t really tell you how she feels, she thinks it’s just pointless since you might not even like her

- ymir has to egg her on and it eventually works because damn she’s getting on her nerves

- when she does she’s all blushy and feels bad that she can’t offer you much other than food, it’s very heartfelt and sweet though how could you resist?

- while other soldiers might be aware of your relationship for awhile, upon becoming queen it’s mainly a secret

- you will have lots of “midnight talks” which totally aren’t you two kissing and doing whatever...

- probably your own way of having a date though tbh

- she’s gonna be “forced” into pregnancy, if you’re willing to help her raise the child she will be very happy.. your relationship is very much a secret but she sees nobody else the way she sees you

- but back onto general hcs

- cuddling with you often, she likes feeling safe and small with you

- sings you to sleep if you can’t sleep.. she’s good at it

- cheek kisses.. so many cheek kisses

- Eskimo kisses

- she thinks they’re cute leave her alone >:(

- she can’t help but feel happier whenever you’re around, no matter what happens as long as she has you she can always be happy in the end

- you’re just... so special to her :(

- Reiner so jealous ... maybe ymir too..

- having her jump into your arms and you twirling her in the air? Common occurrence

- you calling her princess? Also common . Could be a cute nickname or something sarcastic she hates who knows

- smushes your cheeks together she is such a dork

- just loves you so much, looks at you with so much love.. like you’re the only person in the world

- she wishes you could go on normal dates so bad though

- has a habit of gushing about you to people ..

- everybody ships yall hard though

- initially doesn’t get what she’s feeling, she’s never liked somebody in the romantic sense so you can’t blame her for not understanding her feelings

- however she is actually nice to you, although she’s got her usual scary face on she doesn’t say mean things to you

- she looks out for you often, and wouldn’t hesitate to tell you that she missed having you around (like ex missing training with you because you’ve been injured)

- pretty honest with you about a lot and how she cares for you, but doesn’t tell you the extent of how much she cares for you

- very protective

- if you got yourself injured she’s angry, will kill whoever got you injured (unless it’s one of your comrades) but would beat the shit outta them

- but would yell at you too

- her feelings are kinda obvious since she would blush if you touched her physically, she’s practically dying inside

- if you’re nice to her it just makes her so blushy but so happy that she might just smile a little

- you pay attention to her and she’s all mushy inside

- she’s not sure how she feels approaching you about her feelings especially if you’re the enemy but she does so anyways because she can’t ignore her feelings any longer. She holds in her emotions for so long and eventually can’t hold it in

- she tells you straight up how she feels, and that’s the end of it. She doesn’t ask if you wanna date, that’s all it is.

- dating you though makes her nervous. Before entering the relationship opens up completely about being a titan, and her whole situation. If you stick with her anyway she’s happy and loves you very much.

- poor bertholdt

- she’s not good with being affectionate so please initiate most things, she will learn and will be more affectionate as time goes by

- she’s very sweet with you so

- smiles a lot, loves holding your hand and cuddling you

- she’s a big softly with you honestly

- does not like you around historia, she’s very jealous of her low key lol

- she likes being able to protect you, if you try to protect her she will most likely feel embarrassed unless you’re known to be stronger or as strong as her

- stays up late at night with you just talking about whatever

- gushes about how she loves you to your face but only when you’re asleep

- it’s the only time she can let her real feelings for you out okay?

- she’s very blushy around you tho gonna be real

- say you love her? She’s a blushy mess

- “don’t you ever get tired of saying embarrassing shit like that”

- she’s protective and hates the idea of you getting hurt but also would not hesitate to kick your ass if you almost got yourself killed or something and an ass kicking from Annie is not something you’d want

- forehead kisses she loves so much

- she’s kinda unaware of how others may feel towards her but is painfully aware if others like you

- would not hesitate to threaten or blackmail

- stares at you a lot.. she loves you pls .. if you say anything about it she not only stops but probably tells you to fuck off or something

- she hates loving you sometimes because it can be seen as weakness but she can’t help it sadly

- they are so clingy! Even when you guys are just friends.. they can’t help it though! You make them very happy and they wanna be happy more often than not !

- finds excuses to spend time with you, many people think you’re their assistant rather than moblit because of how much time you spend together.

- they have no fear nor shame, they aren’t against side hugging or hugging in general to be honest

- while yes they get excited about titans to the point of blushing, they get that same excitement around you or even when you’re just mentioned

- always tons of compliments are sent your way, they want you to know how amazing you are !

- they do whatever they can to make sure you’re alive and well, they do a lot of checkups with you as well. Hange is the closest the survey corps has to a doctor, they’re mostly experienced in that field so it’s not like they’re bad for having that be the case.. however..

- this also means people come in sick which means you could get sick! So they do anything they can to prevent that.. after all you being sick means less time with you and that’s not ideal to be honest

- have the tendency to grab your wrist or hand... totally not cuz they like you that would be absurd ..

- whenever they get excited about titans and whatnot they talk to you about it since you’re the only one that listens and doesn’t seem bothered

- they don’t realize their feelings for you, they’re smart but they’re an idiot when it comes to love.. at least with them. If anyone else liked somebody they’d realize, but when it comes to liking somebody, or somebody liking them they’re so oblivious.

- Levi had to push them into asking you out to begin with

- they were nervous, they know how dangerous this job is.. love isn’t ideal... relationships aren’t always something you can do..

- also on top of that you might not even return their feelings

- when they ask you out they simply confess and tell you how they feel, however they tell you they understand that there are some issues within having a relationship with eachother

- when you say yes though they’re very happy and overjoyed

- big cuddlebug, they cannot help it

- always clings to you, constant hand holding

- kissing on your cheek? Often

- cute kisses in general yeah

- like historia, Eskimo kisses >:]

- when being introduced to new people always introduced themselves and then you as their s/o like everytime “this is my wonderful, amazing, perfect s/o!! Y/n!”

- let’s you do their hair in the morning

- speaking of which they’re so clingy you guys probably just sleep together now like they’re just ... they love always being around you

- not too protective, they put a lot of faith in you (maybe too much faith)

- doesn’t shut up about you, they could gush about you for literally hours... even days

- they’re always so happy around you, even in s4 when the war starts to take its toll on them

- they always feel safe and comforted when they’re with you and that’s all that matters to them

- they’re a bit more protective after they lose moblit and Erwin though... can you blame them? They lost important people

- somehow more clingy, (not in front of yelena, onyankopon, they refuse to be lovey around them, and zeke too of course)

- however yes other than that overly clingy, always touching you somehow

- or asking you if they could ever be as good as Erwin, why he would even choose them, etc. they really don’t believe they deserve their position so please remind them he chose them for a reason

- they love you SOO much

- she can’t help but wanna always be around you, you bring her this sense of peace... something she can’t exactly always have

- she cares a great deal for you, to her you’re something special and she needs to keep around as long as possible

- stares at you lovingly quite often

- not against hugging you randomly either

- wants to always be by your side but also fears coming off too strong as she doesn’t want her feelings being too obvious

- she kinda doesn’t like the idea of being a warrior anymore, she understands the great honor and all that.. but she would’ve liked to live long with you

- she deems you as precious, so she often goes the extra mile to keep you protected and safe

- often hangs around you, porco gets curious as to why she doesn’t hang around him as much till he realizes she found somebody she loves

- he totally tries to get her to ask you out by the way.. there’s no time like now when either of you could die at any moment

- she eventually decided that she agrees with him and asks you out, probably got you some flowers or something you’d like as well..

- as a girlfriend she usually is quite relaxed with you, so she is a big cuddlebug

- usually on top of you while cuddling so she can kinda be on all fours

- not against squishing your cheeks, she loves doing that she thinks it’s cute

- often holding your hand or arm in some way, she needs to she hates not being able to you have become her lifeline

- she would do absolutely anything she could to keep you safe and protected

- dates aren’t often, but who said they couldn’t happen? She likes taking you out on pizza dates

- sometimes gushes about you to porco, he is the only one that will listen and even if he acts annoyed it makes him happy that she has somebody she loves and cares for so much

- often may follow you blindly though, honestly if you wanted to switch around and join up with Levi and the others she would be all for it (reluctantly but yeah, she follows you no matter what)

- that’s cause she cares for you more than she’s ever cared about anybody and will willing do whatever you want her to do

- would sacrifice everything for you she is so giving when it comes to you it’s like something porco has never seen before jfc

- so he definitely warns you of this newfound power and not to abuse it or he will kill you 😁

- okay but seriously despite her unhealthy habits with giving way too much, she adores you and wants what’s best for you she is a sweetheart

- very loyal, even if you tried to push her away

- since she is very smart on the battlefield, if she senses danger of some kind she will make sure you’re away from all of that

- she’s just protective of you at times, she’s scared to lose you sooner than she has to

- I feel like pieck gets flirted with often, due to her strength because she’s the cart titan and being admired but also because hey she’s pretty cute ... jealous you ensues

- she will comfort you though and give you tons of kisses she loves you babe :(

- lots of kisses from her in general though !

- probably suggests just living together cuz she always is around you and just is a clingy baby

- she likes being swung around in your arms, or swinging you around in her arms

- she wishes she met you sooner though, maybe she would’ve never became a titan and you could’ve lived a long life together

#aot x reader #attack on Titan x reader #snk x reader #pieck x reader #hange x reader #mikasa x reader #Annie x reader #ymir x reader #historia x reader #Sasha x reader

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honestlyhufflepuff · 4 years

Text

The Hole

In the aftermath of Together Forever/Growing Pains, Connie finds Steven’s pit of despair. 2,102 words.

***********************************************

Connie sat on the city bus going into Beach City. She brought her slimmest textbook with her, with the intent to study during the 30 minute ride. The tome lay open on her lap, but the letters all blurred together the second her eyes took them in and her highlighter was limp in her clammy hand.

Twice. Twice Connie hugged Steven after he proposed to her. She should have known right then that he wasn’t ok, because that was the first time ever he didn’t hug her back. It had been days since she’d brought Steven to see her mom at the hospital. She’d said she would be there when he was ready, but would he ever be? What if he was ready, just wanting to call her, but still hung up on not “worrying” her? At some point, she would just have to make an executive decision and go over there, like she did when she called Greg. That’s why she found herself on a bus, on the way to check in on her best friend.

She hoped he was still her best friend.

Steven’s affection was overwhelming to her when they first became friends. It used to make her blush and wonder what her mother would think when he would tackle her in warm, squishy embraces. In fact, the time after they decided to run away together on a bus, he hugged her right in front of her mom. Connie had gotten “the talk” much sooner than she’d anticipated that night. In her tween mind, the thought of doing anything with Steven that needed a different kind of “protection” than their sword and shield seemed weird, but as she got older she wondered.

She wondered about marriage, and the activities that accompanied cohabitation, in brief moments when her and Steven sat together and no words passed between them. She didn’t just wonder about physical intimacy, but about the practical side of things. Buying groceries. Getting jobs. Dividing up chores. Being domestic. She was already pretty sure Steven would want kids, and she wasn’t sure that was something they would be on the same page about.

With how Steven fawned over weddings, she knew he’d bring it up to her someday. At Garnet’s wedding she remembered how he stared at her with those starry eyes on the dance floor, and although she couldn’t read his mind she was certain he was picturing exactly how their wedding would look. She wasn’t sure if she should shirk away from his gaze or kiss him. She’d come close to kissing him so many times, but she’d always held back, afraid of things escalating exactly to where they’d escalated to anyway.

All that cautioned restraint she’d had, he threw out the window in fifteen minutes. If she thought he knew any better, she might have gotten angry at him, but what was age to the aliens who raised him? Did they even understand that it was a bad idea for a fifteen-year-old human to get engaged?

Connie didn’t realize just how much Steven lacked in human social skills until recently. To her, he was just Steven. He was charismatic, brave, and funny, and it seemed like he could make friends with anyone. It was only in the context of seeing him around humans that weren’t already used to him and the gems that she saw how much he struggled to connect.

Was the proposal just that? A failed attempt to connect in a human way?

The Beach City Boardwalk came into view as her bus turned the corner. Connie put away her book and took a deep breath to steel herself for whatever conversation would come.

Several of the locals she’d gotten to know over the years through Steven waved hello with pleasant smiles. A few of them asked how Steven was doing, and she wished she had an honest answer for them.

He was probably fine, she told herself. Greg was there for him, and he had all the gems and Little Homeworld to keep him busy, right? Maybe he just felt awkward. Maybe he would open the door and be happy to see her and-

Her train of thought stopped as she turned the corner on the beach, and a small cry escaped her mouth.

The spot that he’d proposed in was in front of her. It was where he didn’t hug her back. It was where he gave her that sweet smile and insisted he was fine. And now it was totally destroyed.

How soon after she left did it take for him to create that massive crater? She skirted around the gaping wound in the earth, and tears blurred her vision as she saw the remnants from the hastily tidied incident. There were splintered strips of lacquered wood from the guitar. Green pieces of whicker and shattered white ceramic stuck up from the sand. Crumpled flower stems dried in the sun.

Connie’s vision swam with tears and she slid down into the hole Steven had created, shutting her eyes and trying to focus on the consistent hush of the calm ocean waves.

She couldn’t have said yes. He knew that now, right? There was no reason for her to feel guilty.

Her hand burrowed in the sand, and she let it run through her fingers as she lifted it off the ground. Sand was just tiny pieces of glass, she mused. It rained from her grasp like it rained from the ceiling at the hospital when Steven screamed “I can’t be around you right now!” She didn’t think he was mad at her. He was just afraid of hurting her, and afraid of hurting more himself. How did she really know what he felt, though? It was impossible for Steven to hide when he was happy or excited, but “negative” emotions? He’d always been a little too good at hiding those.

How did a friendship bounce back from a scene like that? She’d rarely heard Steven scream, and that was the first time it was ever directed at her. How did they just go back to being carefree jam buds?

She flippantly wondered if running away on a bus was still an option.

He might never want to speak to her again, she thought. Although she knew this wasn’t true, just the thought of life without Steven made a new wave of sobs wash over her.

Connie wiped her eyes on the back of her hand, trying to will herself into a standing position. Part of her wanted to just turn around and go home, but she needed to at least check on Steven. She needed to at least see if he was open to continuing the conversation that so abruptly ended the last time they were in this spot.

Several minutes passed, and Connie still sat in the hole, waiting to regain her composure before walking to the beach house.

“Connie?”

She startled at Steven’s voice behind her. It was not the glass-shattering, screaming voice of pain. It was small and gentle, like when he thanked her for calling his dad.

“Steven!” She jumped up, wiping her red, puffy eyes as best she could before looking at him, “What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” he said flatly.

“No, I mean here. I thought this part of the beach was the last place you’d want to come.”

“Well, Garnet suggested I take a walk,” he sighed, “I realize now that was probably a future vision thing. I hate when she manipulates me into doing things with information I don’t have.”

He hadn’t looked up from his shoes since she’d turned around.

“Do you want me to go?” She asked.

“Don’t you want to?”

"What?"

“I mean, look at the kind of stuff I do,” he stared off at the wreckage of his picnic, “why wouldn’t you?”

“What, no Steven I came here to-” her voice cracked as fresh tears welled out of her eyes. It was enough for Steven to finally look at her.

“Connie? Oh no, don’t cry! What’s wrong?”

He ran towards her and slid into the hole, pulling her into his arms.

“What’s wrong?” She choked out a laugh as she clutched onto him. “Well for one thing, we’re standing in a hole that came from me breaking your heart, and now you’re the one comforting me!”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He whispered.

“I know I didn’t! How could I possibly say yes to getting married at 15?”

“I know. I’m sorry I put that on you.”

“No, wait Steven,” she pulled back, placing a hand on his cheek so she could look at him, “What I was going to say is, I know I didn’t do anything wrong, but it still hurts. It hurts knowing that you’re hurting from something I can’t protect you from. You’re hurting from something that’s made worse by me being around.”

“You protected me by calling my dad. He’s done so much for me. It’s my own fault for being so rash. For not reaching out for help sooner.”

“I didn’t come here to hear you blame yourself more, Steven! You’re obviously processing a lot and-”

“No, wait,” he backed away from her, gripping his elbows and averting his gaze again, “let me say this please.”

Connie nodded and reached towards him, but let her hand fall when he flinched away.

“There’s a lot I haven’t told you,” his shoulders crept up towards his ears as he held himself tighter, “about how I’ve been doing. I never thought the future would be so scary. I thought I would just be lucky to have one at all.”

“That’s understandable. You don’t have to figure it out right away.”

“You know me turning pink?”

“Not easy to forget.”

“Well, the swelling was new, but not the pink thing. That’s been happening for months now.”

“What? Steven, why didn’t you-”

“I don’t know!” he clutched his head and started pacing, “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you, but I’m telling you now. And it’s really screwed up that I didn’t tell you before I proposed to you. You should have been informed about what I was asking you to commit to.”

Connie stood frozen, unsure how to process what she heard, as she watched Steven stop and struggle to look her in the eyes.

“The truth is, I hate myself, Connie. I hate that I’m so needy. I hate that I tried to rush us into marriage before we even had our first kiss. I hate that I was trying to use marriage to escape being me. To just lose myself in being Stevonnie with you. And you deserve more out of a partner than that. You deserve more than someone who just wants to leech off your sense of direction in life.”

Connie grabbed him in another hug and he tensed, not uncrossing his arms.

“Hate’s a strong word.” She muttered, remembering when Greg reprimanded him for saying he hated Kevin.

“It’s a strong feeling, too.”

He seemed to become smaller in her arms, his frame buckling a bit.

“Do you know what’s a stronger word, Steven?”

“Hmm?”

“Love. I love you, Steven. What you’re going through right now doesn’t change that. It’s ok to need people. To struggle. To make mistakes. Stars, you’ve been through so much, and I used to just think that you were untouchable. Like nothing could phase you. But you’ve just been holding all of-” she backed up and gestured to the destruction around them- “all of this inside.”

“I- I-” Steven stuttered, eyes wide as he looked at her “You love me?”

“I do.”

The smallest smile cracked at the corner of his mouth, “‘I do,’ really? Too soon, Connie.”

She snickered, feeling the relief of seeing a real smile on him, no matter how fleeting and small it was.

“Do you want to maybe head inside? My dad and the gems are there, but we can talk in my room, if you want. We don’t have to spend all day in my depression hole.”

“Yeah, if you’re sure that’s ok. Is it still painful to be around me?”

“Yes,” the answer stung, but she was relieved at his honesty, “but it hurts being alone, too. It hurts just being.”

“I know it’s painful, but I don’t think this will last forever.”

“No,” he looked away with a sad smile as they climbed out of the pit, “no I don’t think it will last forever, either.”

Connie could not help but wonder if he was referring to the pain or to her love for him.

#suf spoilers #steven universe fanfic #lizzywrites #su fanfic #together forever #growing pains #connverse #angst #hurt/comfort

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moonlightstars16 · 4 years

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Aching Emotions

30 Days Connverse Challenge

Day 9 ~ Nursing The Sick One

It was just one day after her final exam for the year. Connie was already doing her prep work for the coming year ahead. Studying so much she actually got the entire summer off. However she planned to keep up her education even on her 'break'. Thankfully she had her family, friends and of course her best friend/boyfriend, to keep her relaxed and calm during her "time off".

Later that evening, hours into the night she was pouring over her schedules and organizing her summer reading list. Waiting patiently to get her test scores back. Glancing at her phone and laptop every few minutes to see if there was an email notification from the school. The time between now and then was agonizing for her. So much so that she hardly ate or slept. Drinking only the smallest amount of water.

The fan in her room was higher than normal. Already feeling the summer heat from outside. At one point she did fall asleep on her desk. Only to wake up feeling strangely aching all over her. Stretching out her arms and legs from the uncomfortable sitting position, to see if that would help. Nothing. A ding from her phone caused her to quickly look up, brushing off the small headache she felt, and gasp from the notification alert.

Rushing around her room and bathroom, getting ready for a special terrain sword-training day. Having already grab and stuff one last thing into her bag, she ran outside only to be met by Lion. Standing there and waiting for Connie to climb on his back and take her to the temple. Complying instantly, she gripped onto his mane and tried to focus her breathing. Her heartbeat pounding all over her faintly. Lion turned his head to look at her. Though without much expression at a glance, his eyes told it all.

"I'm okay Lion I promise. Now let's go just in case Steven needs you there."

Lion had become sort of Steven's support animal. Helping him cope with all the therapy sessions and facing the reality that it is happening. It didn't seem to be a big deal. But it made a huge change to his life and things were becoming a bit easier. In fact, he only showed up when he sensed something wrong or 'off' with Steven. Teleporting himself right over to his side instantly no matter where he was.

Those visits became less frequent as of late. Because of that, he snuck in a few visits with herself and most likely more Lion adventures. Narrowing his eyes, he faced forward and roared out the portal, jumping threw and landing inside the infamous beach house. Sighing, she jumped off and patted his soft fur.

"Okay, but remember we can't barge into someone's home like this." Glancing up she gulped and bit her lip upon seeing the newly constructed wall. With a passing look, it seemed like it was unaffected by the past events. To herself, she could see it coming a mile away. Shaking her head she turned upon hearing the temple door opening with Pearl stepping out. Her mentor, her friend and, in a way, extended family.

"Oh! Hello Connie, it's good to see you."

"Same to you Pearl, how are you?"

"I'm doing okay, just busy with the school is all. However I'm pleased to have days were I only focus on one person." They giggled as Connie nodded in agreement.

"I hope you don't mind me continuing these lessons. It just helps me de-stress and keeps up my stamina for self-defense. As well as my own health."

"No worries, I'm honored to still be your teacher... Even after everything I did." Pearl smiled weakly as Connie set her bag down, sword and scabbard around her waist, and walked towards her. Placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I already forgave you long ago."

Moments later they were warped to a special arena. Pearl explained it was an earth terrain battle training area with ever changing scenarios and places to battle in. Originally used for the Gem War since it took place on earth as well as among the stars. Connie could barely focus as her sword seemed to grow heaver and heaver against her hip. Already sweating a bit from the long walk to the very center of the architecture.

"I also have a surprise guest for you." Pearl spoke while opening the secure doors to reveal the amazing arena and a few gems she recognized sitting in the stands. Garnet, Amethyst and Steven all sitting together to support her. Instantly whatever she was feeling seemed to disappear. Though upon seeing her boyfriend, her legs almost buckled down from beneath her. They all waved from their high positions as she waved back. Turning to face Pearl, her sword instantly pulled out from her seethe.

"I'm ready."

Connie jumped from a high bolder and landed on the sand. Changing the terrain from the forest to the dessert instantly while in mid-air. Rolling over to where her feet were back onto the ground, she ducked while moving out from her spot. Pearl, the real one, attacked mercilessly. Not even giving Connie a second to think. However it was hard keeping up with her as she young knight moved quickly with every second. Finally she landed a hit on Pearl's sword.

Advancing forward with metal clashing all over. So focused on the fight Pearl didn't seem to notice the change, when a more rocky terrain came into view. However as soon as she felt the rocks beneath her, she broke her concentration for a slight second. Leaving Connie only so much time to attack. Within a few swings, Pearl's sword left her hand, as Connie had her fall backwards with her own sword to the gem's throat. That ended the entire match.

"Alright, I yield." Connie smiled and helped her up. Suddenly a huge wave of pain seared through her head as she gasped and raised both her hands to her head. Heat radiating off her more and more. "Connie! Are you okay?"

"I'm f-" Another groan escaped her lips as she found herself unable to stand on her own two feet. Falling backwards and on her side as the arena itself began to spin. Pearl leaned down to her left side as darkness clouded her vision. The only thing she could remember before blacking out was a flash of a pink jacket and words spoken.

"I got you, Connie."

Hours passed as Connie laid in her own bed. Covers pulled over to her chin, a diffuser of gentle and calming senses surrounded her and sitting right by her side, was a concerned boyfriend. Dabbing a wet cloth over on her forehead and gently around her face. Watching over her sleeping form as she breathed in and out.

Instantly, Steven picked her up in his arms and sprinted towards the warp pad. Lion was waiting on the other side, licking his paws until a beam of light appeared. Standing up quickly as they jumped on his back.

"Take us to the hospital quick!" He held her close the entire time. Feeling the radiating heat from within. Now normally he would give her a kiss and heal her instantly. However it was important to know what affects the human body and the build-up to it's immunity. He had a hunch of what was going on as her and Pearl's sparring match occurred. The movements she had were a little sloppy and uncoordinated. It was obvious something was up. If only he could recognize it sooner.

It was also better for her mom to know what was medically going on, with her daughter especially. After knowing about all the fractures to his skull and bones, the recoveries he made physically were good....for those moments. Had he known more about them, he would've been more careful about it instead of magically healing it all away.

After two hours with Connie in the examination room then intensive care alongside her mom, both came out to where he was waiting. A common case of overworking herself to being sick. Plus her sword-training exerted all her energy and caused her to collapse and faint. After apologizing multiples times and Dr Maheswaren being understanding, yet firm, she asked him to take her home and watch her until she was off work.

Guilt overtook him once again as he sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He knew it wasn't directly his fault. But that didn't take away the twinged feeling of pain in his heart. Hating to see her like this ever. Blinking back tears he focused on what was more important. Cooling her off. Another hour passed before she finally was awake.

Blinking she focused until she saw him more clearly. A weak smile on her face as he gently grasped her hand. Leaning closer with a cup of water. She placed her lips on the rim and slowly drank every bit of it. As he held it for her. Afterwords, while setting it down on the side table she sighed.

"I suppose this is because I overworked myself?"

"Adding in that you physically fought for a long period of time." He filled her in on the rest before helping her lean forward against his shoulder. Adjusting the pillows so she was sitting up more. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"That my studies had me overworking myself?"

"Why didn't you come to me? How could you not come and talk to me about this?"

"How could I? After all you've been through? I-...I didn't want to be a burden." She blinked back tears and looked down at her hands. He placed a hand over hers and his other under her chin, encouraging her to look up.

"I am going through things myself, yes I admit that. But that does not ever mean I don't care for you or not wanting to at the very least listen. Connie I love you. I care so much for what is happening in your life. I want to be there for you too. Just like you wanted many years ago. I want to be apart of your life." He smiled reiterating her words from when they were kids. She smiled and nodded wiping away a few fallen tears as he did the same. "No more hiding from each other, promise?"

"Promise" She giggled as they hugged each other. Steven being a bit more careful while feeling her entire body still limp and weaker from before. Pressing a soft kiss on her forehead, she began to spill out everything. He listened to every word as he allowed her to lean against him. Stroking her hair gently to help ease her mind and worries.

After a long talk together, he helped her walk to the bathroom and put together a calming bath in her surprisingly fancy tub for her home. Leaving for her privacy as he made some hot soup for her and grabbed more water. On account of her parents both unable to be there for a bit longer than expected. He didn't mind staying by her side. Enjoyed taking care of her actually.

Finding her already dressed in her pajamas and refreshed, he set the tray down by her bed. Leading her away from the bookshelf and back into the cushy mattress. Pouting as he was firm (and teasing) with her. They took this moment of peace just to be in each other's presence. Well as one can be while their sick and the other taking care of said sick person.

"I think I already feel a bit better." Connie confessed with a smile and an all to innocent twinkle in her eyes.

"Really? So soon?"

"You kissed me a few minutes ago and my headache was instantly gone." She giggled as he froze in place. A blush tinting his cheeks a bit. Knowing the rule of using his powers, which he had control over, for emergencies only.

"Technically this was an emergency of sorts."

"Which is why I'm not going to hold this one over you. But to simply say, thank you." With a flirting wink he chuckled and shook his head.

"You're welcome. But what do you mean by 'holding this one over me?'"

"I was going to do this." With a small portion of her regained strength and energy, she gripped his shirt and pulled her over to kiss his lips. She was low on energy, not contagious after all. His eyes widened in shock before closing them and falling more into it's intensity. Holding her gently against him once again as they shared the most strange, yet loving of intimacies between them.

"You're lucky your parents aren't around." He spoke in between their kisses as she giggled herself against him.

"Exactly"

#30 day connverse challenge #30 days connverse challenge #30 days writing challenge #30 days of domestic fluff #connverse #steven universe #connie maheswaran #steven universe future #steven and connie #stevenxconnie #pearl #day 9

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starscheme · 4 years

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Only You

Chapter Seven: Impatience

Spinel was still trying to process what had happened. The last thing she remembered was trying to help Lars to a chair before everything went dark. When the light returned to the room, she was being held against the wall with an unfamiliar tongue in her mouth. It was disgusting to think that someone other than Steven had kissed her like that, but she couldn't figure out how it happened and that worried her the most. Though she didn't have a lot of time to figure it out considering Steven looked like he was about to demolish the building.

"St-Steven! Calm down!" Spinel pleaded, knocking her fists against the shield he had placed around her. She was stuck in a strangely shaped box, unable to get to him.

"Calm down?!" Steven repeated, trying his best not to completely lose his head, but he couldn't get the image of Lars kissing Spinel out of his mind and the rage that followed just wouldn't cool. "He was—-why were you touching My Spinel?!" Steven demanded once again.

Lars was still confused, but after thinking about it for a moment, he did remember bits and pieces. He recalled a pain in his chest and then everything going dark. However, the most alarming recollection consisted of this overwhelming urge he had to touch Spinel. Why? It was hazy, but he could remember, if only for a brief moment, losing all control and kissing Spinel as if he couldn't help himself. After that, everything went black again and he was facing a very angry Steven.

"I...Steven, I honestly don't know how that happened!" Lars began, not sure how to explain this away. He had done it, but he didn't know why. He didn't feel that way about Spinel and even if he did, he wasn't the type to go force himself on a girl with a boyfriend. So how on earth did this happen? "I didn't—"

"M-My Diamond, please," Sodalite began, standing in front of a bewildered Lars. She wasn't sure what had happened that was so terrible, but she didn't want Lars to get hurt.

"Steven, honestly, I would never—" Lars tried again, still trying to figure this out.

"I saw you," shouted Steven.

"Steven! Let me out, please!" Spinel pleaded.

Looking back, Steven saw the panicked expression on Spinel’s face and felt another stab at his chest. He didn't like reacting this way and he knew it worried the people around him. He didn't want to scare anyone. Gritting his teeth and closing his eyes tight, Steven did his best to calm down. It really wasn't easy. Everyone watched in silence as the pink color faded from Steven and the shield around Spinel disappeared.

Once she was free, Spinel rushed over to Steven’s side and hugged his arm. She was still confused, but at least Steven wasn't going to break anything anymore.

"...what...is going on...?" Steven asked, staring at the ground, refusing to look at Lars in case it set him off again. Lars was his friend, how could he do something like this? It made no sense at all. It just hurt.

"I-it was my fault!" Sodalite spoke up again. "I-I got scared and—-I-I must have made Lars see something and he g-got confused." It was a lie, but hopefully a good enough one to settle this. After all, no one knew that the illusions she produced only happened when she was broken. Not to mention that it only affected Gems.

Lars was the only one that knew Sodalite wasn't telling the truth, but was he really going to call her out on it when the alternative was admitting he had forced himself on Stevens girlfriend and he had no idea why?

Now Steven was conflicted. Even if Lars was tricked by some sort of illusion, it didn't change what happened. It was also a little hard to believe. However, he wanted to believe it. Wasn't that better than thinking his friend had stabbed him in the back? Without another word, Steven reached over and grabbed Spinel by the hand, turning on his heel and pulling her towards the door.

Stevens’s car was parked just across the street, but he didn't bother getting in. Driving was probably a bad idea right now.

"St-Steven?" Spinel tried again as he pulled her along with him. He wouldn't even look back at her and she couldn't help noticing that they had passed by his vehicle. She had never seen him this angry before. Tears began to brim at the edge of her eyes, sure that Steven was furious with her. Would he break up with her now? They walked silently for so long that eventually Spinel just couldn't take it anymore and decided to try again. "I—-I'm so—"

"—-don't apologize," Steven interrupted with an uneven voice, finally breaking his stride. He had dragged Spinel with him towards the lighthouse, unsure how fast he had been walking to get there so quickly. However, even they had stopped, he didn't release her hand or turn to look at her. He didn't want her to see his face right now. "It wasn't your fault. ...so just...don't apologize." In truth, he would have preferred to be alone at the moment, but he wasn't about to leave Spinel there. He was still trying hard to convince himself of the story Sodalite had told him. He wanted so desperately to believe it was a mistake, but it was harder than he had hoped. Instead, he was left with this gut wrenching feeling that he couldn't trust one of his best friends.

"But...you're angry...and you should be. I was so shocked I froze, but I should have—"

"—-stop," Steven pleaded, finally turning around to see Spinel’s face. A mixed expression of pain, anger, and sadness were reflected in his eyes as he stared at her. "Yeah, I'm angry," he admitted, reaching over and gently running his thumb over Spinel’s lips. "Even if it was an accident...another man...someone else..." as he struggled to say it aloud, a terrible pit formed in his stomach and that awful jealous feeling was bubbling up once again. He had never felt it so strongly before.

Looking into her eyes now, Steven felt his own burn slightly as tears threatened to escape them. "I'm sorry for how I acted," he began, his voice cracking a bit. He was feeling so many different things right now and he hated every single one of them. When he saw Lars kissing Spinel, it felt like someone had punched him in the stomach and stopped his heart. It hurt. It was as if he'd caught a glimpse of what it would be like if Spinel loved someone else. He'd almost been killed several times and that was by far the worst thing he had experienced. He felt a terrible urge to lock Spinel away from prying eyes and he didn't like thinking that way. "I feel like such a child right now, but even when I was a kid I didn't want to keep you to myself like this. Back then...I wanted you to make friends and I probably would have been fine if you...fell in love with someone. I'm not a kid anymore and yet I'm acting like a spoiled brat."

"I want you to be spoiled," insisted Spinel. "I want to spoil you. You can be selfish with me and monopolize me all you want." She finished, taking his hand from her face to hold it between her own.

"But that's not healthy," replied Steven. "I want your world to grow around me, not get smaller because of me."

"I don't have a world without you," Spinel said simply. "So I don't care how spoiled you become with me, I will always be beside you. Just like you promised you'd stay beside me."

"Spinel...it feels like everything is going backwards," admitted Steven as he wiped his eyes with his free hand. "I feel like I was more mature as a child than I am now."

"I don't know why you are being so hard on yourself. If I saw you touching someone else...I don't know what I'd do. I think I'd lose my mind."

"I did lose my mind," Steven exclaimed shamefully. "I could have really hurt Lars and Sodalite. Even if he meant to do it, physically harming anyone is too much. I felt crazy. I still do. Even now...I can still see it in my head and it's taking a lot of self-control not to break something. I'm angry and I don't know where to direct it. I just want to fix it so that it never happened. I want to be the only one who's ever touched you. It's so irrational that I don't know how to make sense of it..."

"...I know how that feels," Spinel replied. "Thinking about you and Connie...I...get a little upset."

Steven took a moment to study Spinel’s expression. Why did it always turn out this way? When things seemed to be going well, something would come along to cause trouble for them. Was the very universe against them being together? Their little vacation couldn't come soon enough. He wanted to take her far away so they could just forget everything else. With a tired sigh, Steven took the sleeve of his jacket and gently wiped Spinel’s mouth, as if washing her of the germs that Lars had left behind. He would have to compensate Lars for the damage to the bakery, but he was not about to apologize for it. For now, he was sure that even speaking to Lars was out of the question. "I don't want to wait until my birthday," Steven started quietly. "I want to leave as soon as possible."

"Are you sure," asked Spinel in concern. Steven had been so excited about this trip. She didn't want to this to ruin everything he had planned.

"I'm sure," Steven answered right away. "Dad practically forced a bunch of money on me and we have Lion for travel. We can leave whenever we want."

"Could...we wait until I...get something? It shouldn't take too long. That was going to be my next stop today."

"After seeing Lars?" Asked Steven, feeling that pit in his stomach grow larger.

Spinel flinched lightly. "...well...yes," she answered. "I...went to him for advice. Cause I wanted to be a good girlfriend."

Steven laughed under his breath bitterly. He really hated this. He wanted to be mature about it, but he couldn't think of a way to do that. Lars was his friend. He was trying so hard to remind himself of that. However, he just couldn't handle this when it came to Spinel. "Let's just...go and get ready for our trip. I am more than ready to put some distance between us and beach city right now."

Though Spinel was glad Steven didn't cancel the trip, but she worried that today was not going to be forgotten so easily. There was something else that worried her too, but she was scared to bring it up. "...I know I'm in trouble...but...can I ask a favor?"

"In trouble?" Steven repeated curiously. "How are you in trouble?"

"Cause I did something wrong...and you're mad." Answered Spinel quietly, pulling at one of her pigtails now.

"Hold on," Steven began, "you didn't do anything wrong. I mean, Lars kissed you. You didn't respond or enjoy it, you were just surprised. ...right?" He really didn't want to talk about this. Spinel was honest and a part of him was worried she might admit she didn't hate it. Why was he doing this to himself?

"Right," Spinel agreed, noting the immediate look of relief on Stevens face. "It wasn't like your kisses. It wasn't warm...and it didn't make me happy. It was cold and I actually felt my skin crawl when I felt his tongue—"

"—-you don't have to describe it!" Steven interjected quickly. He was glad that she didn't enjoy it, but containing his anger over this was already difficult. "Just-come here," insisted Steven as he reached over and grabbed her waist, pulling a surprised Spinel forward until she was flush against his chest. "Let's agree not to talk about it. I'd rather forget the whole thing even happened."

"If...that's what you want," Spinel agreed with a smile. It wasn't usually like Steven to bury something that upset him, but she wasn't about to complain.

Steven smiled back and leaned in as if he were about to kiss her lips, but the image of Lars and Spinel was still fresh in his mind. Though he wanted to kiss her and make it go away, he couldn't be affectionate with her while he felt like this. Kissing her while he was upset wasn't fair to her. Instead, Steven planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I love you, he whispered, hoping it would reassure Spinel that he wasn't upset with her. He just didn't want to kiss her with this ugly feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Spinel was always happy to hear those words, but it did sting that he had clearly rethought kissing her. “I love you too…” she replied, forcing a smile.

Finally, Steven took Spinel’s hand and the two began their way home. Steven wanted to pack for the trip so they could quickly get out of there and Spinel needed to prepare one last thing. After all this, she was more determined than ever to show Steven that she could be a good girlfriend. Surely she hadn’t done a good job so far. Especially if he wouldn’t even kiss her. They just began this romantic part of their relationship and she was already messing it up. Hopefully, once she got what she needed and they were away from Beach City, she could turn this around and Steven would see how perfect a girlfriend she could be.

#steven universe #su #stevinel fanfic #stevinel #only you #chapter 7 #spinel #cg spinel #su fanfic #fanfiction

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opalgelance · 4 years

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thoughts on steven universe future

td;lr overall opinion: steven universe future is better than most of the original steven universe, especially seasons 3-5, but there are still some real iffy plotlines in future

i hate that the diamonds were redeemed but at the same time, the happy clouds blue and yellow putting gems back together scenes were so pure

it simultaneously warms my heart and infuriates me

but we finally got a blue diamond song, god i love her voice

EDIT: also steven basically tortured white diamond and nearly killed her and it was pretty disturbing bc steven is 1. in a really bad mental state, like way darker than i thought they’d show him go, since this is technically a kids show and 2. was also kind of trying to hurt himself, which both hit me really hard bc i had similar periods of blazing anger, wanting to self harm and harm others that i felt had wronged me when i was a teenager, but its also what white deserves

ncsndlljklkcndkls i want to enjoy this show so bad but,,, steven having ptsd makes him a violent douche??? diamonds killed who knows how many gems in their reign and never really felt bad about it in original su but now they’re supportive life coaches??? no thank you

on more positive notes, i loved how priyanka described mental health and how she treated steven throughout the entire check up, she was so nonconfrontational and whenever he felt stressed she deescalated the situation,,, it was so good

the animation is the best its been since season 2. the poses are clean, very well drawn, and on model. there are more action scenes than like 90% of steven universe and they’re animated way better, like theres actual fighting and motion asjksacbcbj no one is stiffly posed, no one has strange proportions, no one is drastically changing sizes in between shots (well besides steven in growing pains onward but when he does change size its supposed to be like that lol)

i liked seeing the real roses but didnt love it? i wish we saw more of the roses designs up close, and i wish they fit a little more with the other quartzes? it might be just because its era 3, but the roses were all way more unique than jaspers and amethysts generally seem to be. i like that they were more unique designs and had different personalities, but surely the diamonds wouldnt have tolerated that back in era 1 or even era 2, had the rose quartzes not been bubbled? also i get that they’re reminiscent of pink bc she created them, but hippie and superfan were so naive, more so than other quartzes. if each quartz group was slightly different, it would make a little more sense tbh like if quartzes were the entire gem army, but each group was slightly different. i always liked the idea that rose quartzes were either the defense or the healers of the gem army.

little homeschool and guidance were fun and genuinely enjoyable, considering not a whole ton happens in them. i wish townie episodes had been more like them. like you could replace the gems with random humans, but it would still be a fun episode? idk, maybe involving the humans in gem stuff wouldve made better townie episodes, like lars and the cool kids. it wouldve probably helped steven feel more “human” too, if the human and gem worlds collided a bit more in the series.

bluebird was... an ok episode, but im not sure how well it will fit into what i feel like the end will be, where every episode of future featured someone steven helped or affected in some way, and they all come together to help steven when he corrupts. or rather, i guess if bluebird did say something, it would feel more hollow bc steven didnt help them lol the gems and universes were just friendly to them, and thats it. it wasnt as bad as a very special episode (my least favorite episode of future), but it felt like a townie episode with no townies LOL at least we got a new fusion i guess

a very special episode was just,,, infuriating. there was that weird football scene where they just like,,, talk about screen resolution for a minute then play the full commercial for little homeworld we just saw last episode???? i did genuinely enjoy the rainbow scenes, but it just built up to not nothing. oh no, it was something alright. the whole episode was just future vision and then theres like a minute long psa??? it felt like that wacky randomness that would have happened in like, ok ko, teen titans go, or clarence jaskjcbkcjbskb

mr universe is tied with dear old dad episode as my least favorite greg episode. i get how both of them feel. greg wanted to tell steven about how he escaped from his miserable childhood and remade who he was, no longer a demayo but a universe. the problem imo was that greg became way too absorbed in the past. it reminds me a bit of s1 pearl, how she’d proudly recount gem battles and basked in the glory of fighting for their freedom, but she struggled when she had to recount the more unsavory parts of war. and that really affected amethyst, since she didnt fight in the glorified war pearl told her and steven about. amethyst was the byproduct of one of the bad parts of the war, and that became part of her identity, until on the run, where pearl finally realized that she needed to tell amethyst that she wasnt bad. amethyst’s creation may have fractionally hurt the earth, but that wasnt her fault. it wasnt her fault that she emerged too late to fight either. and it wasnt her fault that she existed. sounds familiar to to stevens rant in the van.

steven didnt ask to be made. he didnt ask to be the half gem half human son of a diamond. but he grew up being told about how great his mom was, and that while no one would ever say it, she was gone because of him. to create steven, rose had to die. it was roses decision, but as the product of that decision, steven feels responsible. not only that, but being told constantly about his amazing mother, steven felt like he had to live up to her, had to be like her, had to replace her in the gems and greg’s lives. throughout the series, steven is constantly either trying to be like his mother, until he realizes its ok to be himself. but then the question is posed; is steven even himself? or is he still part of rose? and once he finds out that he’s steven, and has always been steven, he’s still reeling from the realization that his mother was pink diamond. and that really shows in future, where steven is becoming like pink. at first he doesnt even know, because besides the jungle moon dream, him and the audience never knew about this side of pink. this angry, short tempered, diamond who lashes out mostly physically. and unlike before, no one’s telling steven about pink (besides pink pearl) hes finding out firsthand, and this pink mode is basically being forced on him by his gem. steven has little to no control over this form. hes not trying to live up to his mother, or wondering if he is her, like before. now, he’s losing control to whatever programming is in his gem.

but back to mr universe. in the van, greg is going on and on about how lucky steven is, and how free steven is, but how can either of them compare their lives to each other? the similarities just arent there. steven is right, greg and pink were “raised” in very similar “households”. both had their wishes and desires suppressed by controlling, abusive parents. we know pink was abused mentally, verbally and physically (being physically dragged away from the screen by yellow in jungle moon, stevonnie being grabbed and thrown into the time out cell by yellow, when she still thought steven was pink), but greg at the very least was mentally assaulted. but they diverge from here. as greg said, he thought disco was back. rose started a war. you cant compare them any further.

but at the same time, steven was raised completely differently. he was raised in a home with love and freedom, but he was also not given the opportunity to be a normal kid. theres a difference being forcing your kid to do something and not giving them the chance to try something. steven was never given the option to go to school (well in the comics he was but i guess thats not canon now since it seems like steven wishes he went to school?) he was never given the option to live in a house, or go to the mall with friends. the only other kids he knew were the boardwalk kids, but even then, he doesnt seem very close with them. for such an outgoing, friendly kid, steven wasnt given many opportunities to make friends. steven’s upbringing was very relaxed, yes, but it was too relaxed. he needed more structure, and more importantly, more humanity. i always thought it was weird, how little steven seems to have interacted with humans before connie, considering that his mother so desperately wanted steven to experience being human. yes the show is about gems, (and yes, i dont like most townie episodes), but steven was never shown doing a lot of “human” kid things inbetween episodes. the episode never started with him coming home from a friends house, he hardly ever spent time with friends other than connie in little scenes. like he was never called for a mission while playing cards with peedee, or coming home after an after school activity. any scenes like that were either just steven by himself, or with greg, and occasionally connie. but connie is a new addition to his life. how many years has he been doing fun stuff with only his dad for company, or by himself? yknow, “non traditional” childhoods and living situations are becoming more and more common in media, rather than the “two parents in a suburb house” thing, but steven’s life is beyond any unusual childhood any other kid would have. i mean he’s never even been to the doctor! which is probably for several reasons, like the fact that he apparently doesnt have a ssn, he can heal himself, has a damn gemstone in his stomach, and is half alien. but still, thats not something he has in common with other kids. no matter how much love and freedom he was given, steven was raised as an outcast.

i agree with the notion that both greg and steven were both right and wrong in mr universe. i guess they both have that in common with rose lol

greg should have read the room better, realized that his pep talk wasnt the support and apology steven needed to hear. but steven shouldnt have acted out in the way he did. i get that’s the “theme” of steven’s spiral, maybe for the younger audience to better understand how steven is acting? but crashing his dad’s van that gregs been living in for like 20 years? fucking SHATTERING jasper? that’s going way too far to prove a point. it would have been better to maybe mirror story for steven, where marty and greg are arguing, marty is watching the road and they narrowly avoid hitting a car. but crashing the car could have been pretty serious, especially for greg. now jasper, that episode shouldnt have been approved. steven should not have shattered jasper. he fucking killed her. rose/pink didnt even shatter anyone. and if it wasnt for steven getting another superpower out of nowhere, jasper would have stayed that way. he should have just cracked her gem, poofing her in the process. the rest of the episode wouldve played out exactly the same.

anyways ive been writing this for like 2 hours but i feel better letting it all out. if you enjoy future keep enjoying it! it’s definitely more like a B+ compared to season 3-5′s general C-/D+. but please take into consideration future has some themes that people personally relate to, like mental health, and that you shouldnt shit on someone elses opinions that are based on their own personal experiences. especially if you dont have mental health issues, dont keep pushing your opinion and telling people that personally relate to future’s themes that they’re wrong? thats fucked up man

#suf #steven universe future #suf spoilers

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

Text

Survey #210

“made of flame, made of mud, i’m the many, i’m the one.”

Did your parents live in a different country before you were born? No. Do you have a preferred coffee brand? No. What’s something you’ve experienced that very few others have? Your favorite human on Planet Earth/God Himself noticing you. :') Three days I couldn't sleep. Three. Days. Do you have to wear an identification badge at your job? I don't have a job, yet. Have you ever dated someone who was terrible with money? No. If so, how did it affect the relationship? N/A How often do you paint your nails? Never. Do you know anyone who’s related to a current or former world leader? I'm related to Queen Victoria somehow. Idk about anyone else. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? No job, no taxes yet. What is something you don’t have any natural talent for? Mathematics. Has anyone ever told you that you get too competitive over minor things? No. Do you usually befriend your coworkers, or do you prefer to keep work separate from your personal life? N/A What was the very first thing you ever saved up to buy with your own money? I think Venus. Describe your favorite Christmas ornament. Man, I have a lot. We've accumulated A LOT over the years between me and all my siblings. Mom gets each of us one every year, and she's also kept all the ones we've made throughout school. She's so cute y'all. There is this REALLY damn pretty swirling crystal one with an angel on the top of it I got from my grandmother, that's definitely one of my faves, I've always loved this lil gingerbread dude I made in pre-k, and... idk man, there are truly a lot. What is something you frequently forget? To turn the laundry room light off anytime I go in there at night for Roman's litter scooper or to bring dirty clothes in there. By this point it's like a joke in the house with how much I do it for whatever reason. How do you feel about your body? I hate it. Who is someone you would like to get to know better? Connie, but I respect her privacy. I know you have to be careful online. What’s your opinion on assisted suicide? For it. At what point do you consider a relationship to be ‘long-term?’ Hm, idk, really. A year? What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? Mom worked with special ed kids at school, she had a job at the hospital doing computer work I can't remember because I was so young, Dad's been a mailman all my life, but he also worked at Lowe's as a carpenter I think for a while. Do they still have these jobs? Or different jobs? Or have they retired? Mom's got a totally different job, and I already mentioned Dad being a mailman. Do you have any recurring dreams? Themes, yes; dreams, no. Have you ever had to call 911? Why? Yes; Mom and I thought she was having a heart attack. Terrifuckingfying morning. Do you get out a lot? I might as well be on fucking house arrest. I can stay in the house and go nowhere for over a week. Do you eat a lot of vegetables? No. Last fast food you ate? I had a Hardee's biscuit for breakfast. Do you live in Canada? No. What do you think when you see two members of your preferred sex kissing? It's sweet, and brave considering the assholes of the world. Is that hot? "For fuck’s sake… It bothers the hell out of me when people fangirl over homosexual couples. It’s so disrespectful." <<< THIS. Would you ever want to be a chef? No. Bonfires: Y/N? They're fun. What’s a food that’s famous in your hometown/state/country/etc? Southern cooking, like fried chicken, mashed potatoes, hushpuppies, pulled pork, nasty shit like that. By pure coincidence, I literally hate almost all the "traditional" Southern foods. When’s that last time you saw snow? January this year. I think it was January... What’s something that you think will become obsolete in the next 50 years? Physically driving cars, probably. Are you efficient or do you procrastinate a lot? I procrastinate all to hell. Who are the 3 people you love the most? Mom, Sara, and then... idk if I can pick #3. Last person you slept in the same bed with? Sara. When was your first kiss? March 2012. Have you recently been sick? No. What song are you listening to? "Break My Mind" by dAGAMES. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Yeah. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Sadly. Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? It's worse. Weed, coke, crack, heroin, oxy, acid, x, k, peyote, mushrooms, opium…How many of these have you tried? I have no clue what like three of these even are lmao. None. How long has it been since you had sex? Like over three years. Who was the last person to call you babe? Probably Sara. Last reason you went to the ER? My sister got in a wreck. Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents? I believe so. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yeah. When was the last time you shaved your legs? It's been many months. My legs are AWFUL, but it is an absolute chore to shave or use Nair because my hair is so long and thick. So I figure if there's very little/no chance someone's going to see my legs, why even do it. I really wanna get laser hair removal on my legs when I can afford it, though. What facial cleanser do you use? A Biore charcoal scrub. If someone wanted to know what you smelt like, what should they smell? I don't know? Probably dogs, lmao? How many purses do you own? One I use, then I have... two or three old ones saved just because I really like them. What are your top five favorite stores to clothes shop? Hot Topic, Rebel's Market, Spencer's, rue21, and... idk. I guess Wal-Mart lmao. What kind of clothes do you mostly wear? Yoga/dance/sweatpants with a tank top, graphic tee, or band tee. What about shoes? Flip flops like, year-round lol. If I do wear something else for whatever reason, it'll probably be my Vans or maybe a pair of Converse. Have you ever cheated on the significant other that you have now? No. For that one week a month, do you hate being a woman? Nah, birth control's made cramping a far smaller problem. Last thing you bought at the mall? Wow, I have no idea. Well... maybe a book before the hurricane to read if the power went out? I haven't read it if you're wondering, aha... Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Dad's met her once, but he seemed to enjoy her just fine, and Mom adores her. What store did you last buy clothes from? Wal-Mart. Which parent are you more similar to? I have traits aligning with each of them. I think my mom, but then again, I don't see my dad nearly enough to know his personality deeply since he changed IMMENSELY after the divorce. Have you ever been to another country’s capital city? No. What are some of your favorite qualities for another person to have? Compassion, wisdom, an open mind, gentle, passionate, a good sense of humor... What smell reminds you of your childhood? Chlorine, I guess. I swam a LOT as a kid; it was my favorite activity. Are you happy with who you are? In some ways, in some ways no. Do you ever sleep with your bedroom windows open? No; we live beside a busy road, and plus I don't trust people. Have you ever had a job where you didn’t fit in with your coworkers? No. What was the last word document you typed? I made a brief outline of the message I'm sending to the client who hired me for her wedding when I send her her pictures. Thanking her and telling her what more I could do for her, stuff like that. What’s something that has upset you lately? The extreme difficulty of finding a job for myself... Do you have a home security system? No, but damn do I want one. What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? If you know the darker part of my photography, roadkill. People see it and either think 1.) "poor thing" or 2.) "dumb thing," and that's it. No one seems to truly consider our responsibility to watch for animals on the road; in most instances I've seen, the animal is blamed for being "stupid." No, they're fucking terrified and panicking. Anyway, I'm going on a tangent. Basically, I think we should feel far more pity for what we end, even though it's accidental. And get out of the fucking car to see if it's okay/can be saved. Have you ever gotten sick from someone else’s cooking? I believe so, but I don't really blame the cook. My stomach is just REALLY sensitive to food it's not used to, particularly fancier meals. What was the last kind of cheese you ate? American. How young is too young to be sexually active? "Personally, I think anything under 18." <<< Same. Would you ever dye your hair silver? I wanted to at some point, but particularly with my hairstyle now, idk how good it'd look. What was the last fun thing you did? Shot a wedding. Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. What’s your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a fan. Do you know anyone who practices Hinduism? No. How long was your longest relationship? Three and a half years. When was the last time you spoke to the first person you ever kissed? February 2017. What’s a political issue you have a strong opinion on? Gay rights. What snacks do you like to get at the movie theater? Just popcorn is fine. If I have any candy, it's from a gas station or dollar store. Movie theater prices are expensive as fuck. Have you ever stayed in a hotel in the center of a big city? No. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? Romaine lettuce for my iguana. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? In bed. Do you have any friends you have never gotten into an argument with? Yeah, Connie. Girt and I have also never really had an argument, he's just said things that hurt me as his sense of humor can be a bit harsh and they were sensitive areas, but he's never meant it. Do you think you could survive living by yourself for a month? No. Can you cook anything other then toast? Yeah. How many times have you cried over the last person you cried over? I don’t remember the last person that I cried over. Have you ever been in an on-and-off relationship? So annoying right? No. Have you ever developed a crush on someone the first day you met them? I don’t think so. Have you ever been with someone who was really clingy? Did it annoy you? For only two weeks. I like to pretend that shit never happened. Is there a store you go to so much the employees know your name? The tattoo/piercing parlor I go to know me well; some probably remember my name. Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend? One literally only talks to me if she wants to ramble endlessly about him. Have you ever helped someone while they were drunk puking? No. There is NO way I could be with someone while they're vomiting. The sound would make me join in, and that's almost a promise. What annoys you more to do, sneeze or cough? Cough. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet cat? I want another snake. Do you fall for all the lines about making guys/girls like you on magazine covers? Lmao yeah right. Do you have a calendar in your room? What’s it’s theme? My door is currently open so I can't see for sure, but I have three or four outdated meerkat calendars as decoration. Have you ever gotten anything racist about you yelled at you? No. Does the last person whose house you were at like anyone? She's married, so obviously. Do you own more pink or black clothes? Just about everything is black. Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you a stuffed animal? Yeah. What does the last body wash you used smell like? I think it's some kind of ocean-y scent? I don't pay attention. I just know it's blue. What is the worst name anyone has ever called you? A martyr, and not the good kind. Where is your favorite place to eat out? Sonic. Does it bother you when people call you ‘ma'am’ or 'sir?’ No. That's general good manners in the South. Have you ever been obsessed with a television character? I don't think so, but maybe? What was the last thing that changed your life completely? Recovery. Do you have any step siblings? One. I don't call him my brother, though. Did you partake in senior skip days? HA I sure did. Have you ever read the Christian Bible? Not the entire thing. When the holidays come around, do you help decorate? Yeah. Has someone ever promised not to leave you? NEVER IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE BELIEVE THAT SHIT. Do you have a part-time job? No. Are you the type of person who likes to buy gifts for your friends? If I had my own money, I absolutely would. Hopefully I can when I have a job... though I don't exactly have many people to send anything to. Have you ever lived in an apartment before? I wasn't an actual resident, though I was pretty much always there. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. Are you close to your parents? Yeah. Have you ever had to be put on medicine for a mental disorder? For most of my life. Have you ever been responsible for someone’s death? Wow, no. Do you ever spend the night with your significant other? Well, we're long distance. We do when we visit each other. Do you know a lot about serial killers? No. Have the police ever been looking for you? Ha ha yes, but only because my sister, friend, and I went walking on the beach at night, and apparently Mom didn't hear us when we told her we were going... Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. Do you cuss more than any one else you know? Tbh probably lmao. How old is your youngest cousin? I don't know. Do you tend to talk on the phone a lot? No. Have there ever been any serial killers around your hometown? I don't believe so. When was the last time you went to a museum? When my brother and nephew were here early this month. Do you know how to shoot a gun and hit a target? No. What turns you on the most? Don't grab my boobs. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes. Do you answer the phones at your work? N/A What’s your ring tone? The Revaleso remix of "Dear Insanity" by Asking Alexandria. The text alert sound is the chime of picking up a gem in Spyro. Do you want to fix anything with anyone? Yeah. Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? I do literally every night. It sucks. What shows do you watch? None. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. When you were in elementary school, did you change best friends a lot? No. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? No. Who was the last person to give you a ride somewhere? My VR counselor drove me home the other day. What’s the scariest bug you’ve ever seen? I'm sure some kind of beetle. Not a fan of beetles. What was your favorite TV show you watched as a kid? Pokemon. :') How many times a day do you tell your parents you love them? Mom, at least once when she leaves for work. Dad, I barely ever see him, so. I don't daily. Ever talk to your pets? Of course I do. I talk to them like I talk to people. Do you think it’s alright if people baby talk to babies? ... Yes???? At a certain age you need to set an example to talk correctly, as the kid is going to copy you, but as a baby, no shit it's fine? Ever take a nap in a hammock? I may have fallen asleep, maybe not. Probably not tho 'cuz I would've been afraid of bugs (the hammock was between two trees directly outside the woods in our backyard), so I've likely just dozed for a bit, if anything. Who’s the best character in Rugrats? Oh boy, I don't remember them all. I know I liked Tommy, but I mean, he was the main character, so I guess that's to be expected for a little kid, mostly seeing him. Ever get caught doing something naughty with your boyfriend/girlfriend? No. Who has had the biggest impact on your life? Jason. Girls: ever wear boxers? Guys: ever wear a thong? No. Do you use q-tips to clean your ears? DON'T DO THAT. I got wax adhered to both eardrums because I did that frequently; it inevitably pushed things back and dried onto them. NOT fun getting it sucked out; hurts like a bitch. Always only use them for the outside of your ears. This has been a PSA. Ever want to make out with someone, anyone, didn’t matter who? No. Ever had your feelings hurt when you knew the person was joking? That is EASY, friendo. Do you make jack-o-lanterns during Halloween? Sometimes. Have you ever swam with dolphins? No. Cats, awesome pets or Satan in disguise? I love cats. When you buy/receive new clothes, do you instantly wear them or wash first? Wash them. Do you hate using public restrooms? VERY MUCH. I will avoid using one at almost all costs. What’s the weirdest item you’ve seen for sale on Ebay? Oh my fucking god. So one night my friend Chelsea and I were up REALLY late and were loopy as fuck and this bitch started looking up weird dildos and shit and I'm not even remotely kidding, she found a huge 50 lb. butt plug. I sincerely wish I was joking. Do you check to make sure there’s TP before using the restroom? Yeah. Do you drunk dial/text? I've never been drunk. Have you ever built a massive snow fort? No. We don't get enough snow here. Are parents to blame for what their kids do on the Internet? Not entirely. Do you use acronyms to remember things? I did in school. Do you take pills like Tylenol for the littlest aches and pains? No. When was the last time you went rollerskating? WOW I don't know, but it's been a long time. Do you call people “dude” a lot? Yes. Who was your favorite Ninja Turtle? I was never into them. Horror flicks make you: laugh, scream, or squirm? Out of those, I may ever only squirm at nasty shit. If you could become a doctor, what would you specialize in? Probably ophthalmology (eye doctors). The last time I went to the eye doctor, I got way too into the science and anatomy of the eyes and such. You woulda thought I saw God when I realized I could see the veins in my eyes during that "lemme shine this light straight into your eyes" tests; I thought it was SO cool. Well, I probably realized this at previous appointments, I just didn't remember. Hm, or maybe a pathologist, that'd be cool. I'm looking through a list of doctors, yes. What’s the cutest thing a little kid has ever said to/in front of you? Probably just "I love you" and stuff like that from my niece and nephew. Ha ha aw, wait... When my brother and older nephew were here, Christian exclaimed, "She's up!", like the MOMENT I moved in bed one morning. I'm so happy to say that kid loves me. He wore me the HELL out in the course of just three days, but man, I miss the lil dude now. That occasion in particular just really sticks out to me because I do not find myself good with kids, and to just hear how excited he was that I was up meant the world to me. Apparently I was fun enough. At what age do you plan on moving out? I hope in like... two more years, maybe less. I need a stable job, a car, but I also DO NOT want to live alone, so I'd want to wait until Sara was ready to move, too. I'm beyond thankful Mom isn't rushing me in the least, she seems happy I live here actually, but I don't want to be in her hair much longer nonetheless. I have to be an adult. Did any characters from TV shows scare you as a kid? Which one(s)? King Ramses from Courage the Cowardly Dog fuck-ing TERRIFIED me. His animation was unique to what was normal in the show, so that automatically stood out as different and weird, but more than anything, I was just so scared by his voice and repetitive lines. I had nightmares of that shitlord. HA HA OH MAN I REMEMBER THIS TOO: When I visited my aunt and uncle's when I was little, my family slept on the floor in a room downstairs, and there were small trees outside the window that would sway, and the outline on the curtains would make me think of him. I remember waking Mom up one night about it, and I think she gave me something for comfort, but idr what. What’s the saddest thing you’ve heard on the news recently? In my very own fucking state, consent can no longer legally be revoked when sex begins. Fuck this place. How long does it take before you trust a person? It depends on the person. It's usually a while, though. Have you ever made a time capsule? What did you put in it? Hm... I feel like I have? Wait yeah, I did in elementary school! It was a class effort. Idr where it was buried. What would you do if your mom or dad read your diary/journal/blog? My mother would be deeply concerned that my love of Mark runs as deep as it does, meanwhile my dad would be v v v confused. They would mutually be very worried of their daughter's willingness to eradicate the fools of the population and replace them all with miniature Fischfucks. Do you know anyone with a lisp? I may? I don't exactly have a lisp, but in certain words, I pronounce "s" weakly due to my tongue piercing getting in the way, but it's very mild. If you were to break a Guinness Record, which one would you try and beat? Idk. What’s the coolest item in your room? I'm not sure, I find a lot of things in here particularly cool for various reasons. Hence why it's so heavily decorated. I guess my favorite is probably the Japanese, limited edition Silent Hill: Revelation flyer I have framed on the wall. I won it in a giveaway and I love it alskdjfklajwer. I wanna collect more SH merch, man. Are you accident-prone? Yes, due to my own lack of common sense and clumsy nature. As a kid, what was your favorite activity on the playground? I BOLTED for that swing. Are huge muscles gross or sexy? I'm not a fan of extreme muscles. Have you ever fished and caught something weird? Phew, I grew up fishing all the time with Dad. I'm certain I have. Well, I caught a catfish by the eye, but only the method's weird there, lol. I still to this day feel so bad for the fella. Is old age catching up with you? In my back and knees lmao. Can you sleep through thunderstorms? Yes. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yes. Do people confide in you? Some do. Ever been around someone who makes you feel stupid? He doesn't intend to, he's just reeeaaally fucking smart. Actually, that goes for my brother, too. I knew he was very intelligent, but holy shit, when he was here last and I actually got to hear more about him, his beliefs, and general knowledge, dude's a genius. How many college degrees do you want? Either up to Bachelor's or Master's. For my career goal of being an out-in-the-field zoologist, I need the latter. Do you like animals? SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Yes; my high school senior project was at least one. There's other personal stories I wrote as a kid, too. Can you snap your fingers? Yes. Can you wink? My right eye, yes. I can with my left eye, but not without my face distorting pretty badly. What song explains how you feel about love? *shrugs* Does hardship make a person stronger? It depends on what they take from it. What comes to mind when you think of pregnancy? Ew please never. Have you ever attended a professional sporting event? Yeah, hockey games with Dad. What is your favorite brand of clothing? I don't have one. Which do you value more, intellect or work ethic? Work ethic. How well do you know the people you live with? Well, I live with my mom, who I've lived with my whole life, and we're very close, if that answers the question. Do you have any heroes? *blinks* Ever been to a cabin on a mountain? No, I wish. Ever lost your voice? At least once. Are you a cautious person? Yes. Meet Anxiety, baby. Do you enjoy comedy shows? Yeah. Do you chew gum? Sometimes, rarely. Do you think a lot when taking a shower? Not really. I just enjoy whatever music I have on. Are you currently charging your phone? No. Do you ever get razor rash? No. Are you a private person? It depends on the subject. If you straighten your hair, do you always use hair spray? N/A Do you curl your hair often? It's too short to be curled. What’s the earliest you’ve ever woken up for school? Idk. Probably around 5:00-5:30 if I was getting ready for a special day or something. Can you get ready in under 10 minutes? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that you were a bad kisser? No. Do you like Frostys from Wendy’s? Hell yeah. Would you ever sleep in the same bed as your sibling? Sure, if we had no other choice. Ever taken a shower with someone? My little sister and I did all the time as kids, I'm guessing to save water. Would you consider yourself to be a creative person? Yes. Do you usually take a nap during the day? Yes, usually. Might you enjoy hanging out in the woods for day or two? HELL YEAH!!!!!! So long I have my camera and company, that'd be awesome!!! Do you suffer from frequent paranoia? Eh, not as badly as I used to. Two friends whom have been there for you the most? Sara and Girt. If you/your gf became pregnant accidentally, would you consider abortion? If it was my own fault for not using protection, I couldn't do it; then that's my own foolishness. I would regardless if my life was endangered, though. I do believe abortion is killing a living being once brain activity begins, but I believe in the right to put yourself first. If a complete stranger picked a fight with you, would you fight or flight? Flight if possible. Defend myself when necessary. Have you ever decided to set fire to something out of anger? No. Would you rather be a house pet or a wild animal? House pet, so long as my owner is a good one that truly loves me. Wild animal would be much more dangerous, and besides, I like the idea of companionship. Can you juggle more than two objects at once? lol I probably couldn't even juggle two. Can you function well on little to no sleep? Eh. I'm cranky for sure, but I can function. Well... depending. If I am REALLY tired, I won't be able to keep my eyes open. Do you find that it is difficult to maintain your mood? Even on medication, I'm still bipolar (not using that as an adjective; I'm legitimately diagnosed with it). My mood can change VERY quickly with tiny stimuli, but at a much, much milder degree. Have you ever listened to a group of chanting Monks? (if not you should) No, but it's cool! Two sports that you are horrible at? Tennis and volleyball. The latter mostly just hurts like a bitch. One thing that you would like to change about your life? My job situation. What was the last candy you ate? Sour gummy worms. Which decade was your favorite for fashion trends? Idk. I'm really not educated enough on what was trendy for each one. Do you like the current fashion trends? I pay no attention. Who is the strangest (or one of the strangest) person you’ve met? I won't give away his name as it's a pretty unique one, but there was a kid in high school who was certainly different in both good and bad ways. He was pretty unstable. Made his own religion. What are you struggling with currently? Finding a mfckn job. Do you forgive yourself for your mistakes? Most, I'd say. Have you ever been abused by a police officer? No. Name one friend who had a parent who was in jail. A cousin of mine. Has anyone tried to kill you and then played the victim? No? What is your favorite board game? I like Battleship and Scrabble. Can you remember the last time you played a board game? A few months back with Sara and Girt. Actually Scrabble, lol. List three traumatic memories you have. The only truly traumatic memory I have is the breakup. Well, I guess a nightmare I had with my dad kinda is too, seeing as it still affects my trust today? Have you ever been misdiagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Yup. How the fuck did I have ADHD, woman. If you don’t mind my asking, when was the last time you had diarrhea? Like about two weeks ago before my period started. That's starting to seem like a theme. Do you prefer sunny days or cloudy days? I like partly cloudy. Do you have a painful past? A good chunk of it. But I mean, who doesn't have some rough paths behind them. What was the best time of your life? Walking through Chicago with Sara and her dad one night was INCREDIBLE. Coming from the middle of nowhere into such a colossal city with all these lights and such was such a shock to me, and exploring it with them was super cool. It was cold as fuck, but still, it was fun. When was the last time you were hugged? Idk. Well, probably last time I was at Ashley's saying bye to everyone. Do you trust your doctor? Yes. Name something God has healed you of. HAHAHAHA. If applicable, how old were you when you got "saved?" I was raised into religion, so I don't know. I grew up "saved." Have you been baptized, and if so, where? Yes, at my childhood church.

#survey #quiz #questions #bored #random

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garibaldidaydream · 6 years

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Can We Talk About Big Mouth for a Minute?

So honestly... I really loved this show. everything about it. Even the character design. Yes, it’s ugly... But I really see it as a metaphor for puberty as a whole. It’s ugly. It sucks. I would know, I’ve been going through puberty for years now and I have many more to go. Puberty is one of the ugliest experiences that I and many others have gone through.

And note, I will make a lot of comparisons to Family Guy in this. This isn’t me trying to shit talk Family Guy, I really do enjoy Family Guy, but I do recognize it is not the best show production wise. I like Family Guy and I like Big Mouth too. Another note, this does contain spoilers of the show.

There are many other amazing things about this show as well. For example, the continuity is absolutely phenomenal. Almost every single episode references an episode before it, and it’s attention to detail is absolutely amazing. As well as that, they even keep continuity from the episode itself (and example of this is how Maurice drew a sex creature when he punched a hole in the wall and it stayed there throughout the rest of the episode). It really goes to show; Even some of the most popular adult cartoons don’t take the time to keep up the continuity (Family Guy has one of the bigger problems with continuity, I know it’s had way more episodes but some of them are just very careless, and could have been easily fixed).

As well as that, they put their budget to good use. I don’t know how much money the creators had to make each episode of Big Mouth, but it must have been a lot, since these characters actually have body movement! For comparison, Family Guy often has scenes where characters talk and just... stand there. They’re only talking, no moving back to react or moving around their arms. And a single episode of Family Guy costs around 1 million dollars. The energy in the show is constant, and there isn’t a point where I’m ever bored while watching.

And now onto the characters. Each character is their own, unique character, and while some of them do play to a stereotype (The biggest and most prominent of this being Matthew), they still are their own characters. To compare two stereotypical characters, let’s take Jasper from Family Guy and Matthew. Jasper was made with the intention of having a gay character close to the main cast so they could give their opinion on gay marriage. That’s basically it. I love Jasper but he could be entirely written out and the only thing that would be affected is one episode being written and maybe some scenes. Matthew was written to be gay, yes, but he was also written as his own character; even though we don’t get to learn much about him, we are introduced to him as a snarky bastard who loves drama and insulting people before he’s introduced officially as gay. And even further, these are characters we can really sympathize with, especially those we can relate with. Maybe it’s because these characters are kids, but their struggle through puberty, sexuality, and whatnot is realistic, and I could feel for the characters (especially in episodes like Everybody Bleeds, I could relate to the struggle of Jessi as she faces embarrassment of getting her period in a public place and bleeding through). The show really managed to pull off sad moments as well, which is very rare in adult cartoons (I’ve really only ever seen it pulled off in South Park), and I honestly teared up at these scenes (like the end of I Survived Jessi’s Bat Mitzvah, showing the aftermath of Andrew and Missy’s breakup, and how sad they both were). I was able to really feel these characters, and just how real it felt (even with their metaphor for puberty, aka Connie, Maurice and Rick).

Also, the amount of diversity in the show is amazing?? Of course they have a gay character, but they also have a Jewish character, a physically disabled character, a (hinted) Autistic character, and just so much more and honestly, I live for it.

Overall, if you haven’t checked the show out, do yourself a favor and check it out. It’s one of the best animated TV shows I have ever seen, and it deserves so much more praise than it gets. I really hope this show gets picked up for a season 2, because I honestly need more.

#big mouth #big mouth netflix #its really good #10/10 would recommend

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mrevaunit42 · 7 years

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adventures in babysitting

Hey Mr.E here Hoping everyone is doing well despite the chaos. I decided to post an oold story up while i write to hopefully brighten your day. this one is a nova vs prequel. I’m not sure if posted this one already, i’m pretty sure i did but oh well, there’ll be two. this one was proof read better!

so this takes place 7 years before the story, Star and Marco are still separated though very close to being reunited. Marco lives with his parents in the Diaz household, going to college and taking care of nova. Today’s boring trip to the store is made more exciting by one of Star’s secrets visits to Earth. but can the Diaz-Butterfly clan really have a normal shopping trip. no. no they can’t.

I hope you enjoy this story, have an amazing day and a great week.

@hipster-rapunzel @isolated-frequencies @artgirllullaby let me know if you want to be on the tag list.

“You know” Star said calmly, throwing Marco a playful wink as the two children danced around their feet, one giggling and laughing without a care in the world, the other trying his hardest to retrieve his glasses from the girl who had stolen them off his face “When I decided to pop in from Mewni to visit, I had no idea our daughter had a playdate.”

The 7 year old little girl stopped at once, her electric blue eyes narrowing as her heart covered cheeks pouted angrily. her tiny hands found their way to her hips, her medium length light brown hair pigtails swaying in the wind as she looked sternly at Star.

“Mommy, it's not a playdate! We're just babysitting Connie because his parents are busy.”

The young girl yelped as the pair of black thick square rimed glasses were yanked out of her hands, the 7 year old boy gently placing them in front of his forest green eyes, his messy unkempt black hair becoming more unkempt as he frowned towards the young girl.

“Nova, that's not funny! I need theses to see, you know I can't see things if I don't have my glasses.”

“It was just a game Connie!”

“Stop calling me Connie Novy!”

Marco and Star chuckled at the sight of the two best friends lightly arguing with one another.

Nova Analise Butterfly was the proud daughter of Star and Marco, the spitting image of her mother though having a head full of her father's hair color, a little butterfly clip nestled comfortably in her hair that matched very well with her little blue sundress and sandals.

Connor, or Connie, Sinclair was rocking a green t-shirt with brown shorts and sneakers and a frown on his face.

“Novy, you are so mean” Connor whined, unable to stare directly at his best friend.

“I was just teasing. Lighten up Connie”

“Nova” Marco sternly called to his daughter “Be nice to Connor, he's our guest today.”

“Guest? We're not at the house.” Nova argued, eyes wandering across the many aisles of the supermarket and briefly wondered if her daddy was okay. He didn't remember where they were! Not a good sign for someone his age.

“He's still our guest and we need to be polite.”

“Okay Daddy.”

Star shook her head, trying to stifle a laugh at the sight of the two young children finally noticing where they were, their quiet staring now filled with awestruck wonder at the sheer size of the gigantic store.

“Look at them! It's like they've never seen a store before. Hee so cute.” Star cooed, savoring the joyful features on her daughter's face.

“I know another Butterfly that was completely lost with awe and wonder the first time we stepped into a Walmart” Marco teased, playfully nudging his wife before adding a wink.

Star flushed a bright red, turning her head away from Marco so he couldn't see her glowing hearts “I don't know what you're talking about!”

“I have pictures to prove otherwise.”

Star whirled around to a smug looking Marco holding his phone threateningly

Star scoffed and rolled her eyes “There is no way you kept those photos.”

“So you admit there were photos?” Marco shyly shot back.

“When” Star went on, pretending she didn't hear Marco's retort as she gently tugged at the soul patch growing neatly on his chin “Are you going to get rid of this? You're 28 Marco, not 17 again.”

“Hey!” Marco cried out indignantly “You said you liked it back then!”

“We were dating Marco and younger, of course I did like it, I thought it looked cool!”

“And now?”

“Now we're married and...” Star answered, pulling Marco closer and catching his lips with her own, savoring every moment of their romantic gesture before letting him loose “It makes you look less manly.”

Marco couldn't keep the stunned bliss off his face, his eyes still closed as he wobbled uneasily on his feet, his body still paralyzed from Star's kiss.

Star giggled at Marco's silliness as his eyes fluttered opened, a completely dazed look overtaking his face before slipping into a pout.

“Ugh, that's no fair! That's cheating.” Marco whined, eying Star's lips carefully as if they were ready to pounce upon him once more.

Star gave him a cheeky smile, running her hand throw his hair before teasingly replying “You love me.”

“Of course I do” Marco told Star, sliding his hand around her waist and dipping her low in front of the entire store without a second of hesitation “Do you love me?”

“Marco!” Star shouted, her red hue becoming redder as people stopped and stared at the young couple “Everyone's looking!”

“So? Oh, I know. I should give them a show?”

“M-Marco!”

“Shall I start singing?” Marco questioned before taking a large gulp of air.

“Of course I love you Marco!” Star yelled, trying to keep her heart from running out of her chest at her very public declaration of affection.

Marco said nothing as he helped Star to her feet, mockingly bowing to the princess before allowing her to smack his arm in false anger.

“You are so silly Marco”

“I wonder where I got it from?”

The two shared a knowing smile before Marco offered his arm to the princess, trying not to let out a cheer of victory when Star took it with a cute curtsy.

Marco was enjoying the moment of pure elation that came with his wife's rare visits when he realized something was missing or rather, two someones.

“Star?” Marco began carefully, eyes scanning every inch of the store.

“Yes Marco?” replied Star, clueless to her husband's actions or thought process.

“Where are the kids?”

“Umm...” Star said nervously, trying to stop herself from chewing on the nearest thing she could which in this case would be Marco's hand “I...I thought they were right here! I could've sworn they were just staring at some candy and....”

“STAAAAR, you lost our daughter and her easily impressionable best friend!”

“Hey, whoa whoa whoa!” Star raised her hands defensive “you lost our daughter and her impressionable best friend! Distracting me with your stupidly tempting lips!”

“Says the girl who loves giving brain numbing smiles she knows that I can't get enough of!”

The two took a step closer, playfully growling at one another before a loud crash thundered throughout the store.

Marco and Star jumped, startled that the busy chattering of shoppers at Walmart suddenly became panicked cries of shock and fear, the loud echoing of footsteps in flight filling every corner of the store.

The couple shared a concerned look before rushing off to find the source of the commotion.

“Do you think it's Nova?” Star couldn't keep the worry out of her voice, trying her hardest to keep herself calm despite the fact they didn't know for certain that it was their little girl behind the apparent craze that spread throughout the store.

Marco and Star barely reached the end of the aisle in time for something to blur pass them at breakneck speed, a white thick powdery form covering their bodies from head to toe without warning.

Marco wiped the foam from his eyes in time to notice Nova and Connor standing within a grayish shopping cart, the loudly clacking wheels beating itself into his head as Nova screamed at the top of her lungs with pure joy while Connor propelled the two forward using a fire extinguisher as their fuel source.

“Aww, look her ride the cart monster” Star cooed, soaking in the pride she felt at Nova's actions and courage

“She's standing up in the cart!” Marco cried with a panicked edge “It's so unsanitary, it's so unsafe. She could bump her head, she accidentally eat some of the foam!” Marco let out a horrified gasp “The cart could hit a bump and she could go flying out but not just that, her hair could get tangled in the basket and be ripped violently from her head! She'll be crying, she'll be sad, SHE'LL BE BALD!”

Marco started hyperventilating, his mind hopping from one terrifying thing to the next, all the possibilities that could happen to his baby girl. Next stop on the train of thought, mental breakdown.

“She should try this foam, it's sooooo good.”

Marco threw a glare to his side, unable to believe that Star was eating handfuls of the fire stopping gunk without care or any physical sign of getting sick.

“Hey, don't look at me” Star stuck her tongue out at Marco “You've got plenty of your own.”

“Star” Marco chastised “Stop eating foam and stop our runaway daughter! Make a barrier or road block but...y-you know safe, fluffy one or something. Oh and give her knee and elbow pads. And a helmet. And some pillows. And maybe make the floor rubber or like a bounce house, that would be helpful too.”

Star let out a teasing laugh “How am I supposed to do that? With my face?” Star narrowed her eyes in thought “With...my...face....Could I stop the shopping cart monster with my face?”

“Do not use your face honey, use the wand.” Marco clarified helpfully.

“Ooooh” Star nodded, finally comprehending what Marco was asking of her “Yeah, I left the wand in Mewni.”

“What!” Marco shouted as Nova completed a full lap around the store, another wave of foam covering Marco's shocked and angry face.

“Don't what me, you know I'm not allowed to bring the wand to Earth when I'm my secret visits” Star gently reminded her husband, playfully drawing a smile and two eyes on the plain foam that suffocated Marco, cheerfully clapping her hands at her foam man.

Marco shook the fire suppressing material off of his face, his light brown eyes apologetic and sorrowful “Sorry sweetie. It's just this whole situation reminds me of the good old days. You know...when you lived on earth. With us....with me...”

Star cupped Marco's cheek in her hand, the memory of those wonderful times filling her with equal parts warmth and loss.

“I know. Soon love. Once Ferguson becomes president, the council will induct Earth into the alliance and we won't be separated any longer.”

Marco let out a disbelieving chuckle “Whoever thought Ferguson would be so popular that he would actually cause the government to lower the legal age requirement for being president?”

“I'm surprised how many people want an opossum suit wearing president.”

“It's the prehensile tail. Girls love the prehensile tail” Marco teased.

Star brightly returned Marco's smile, her soft lips surging forward and kissing him once more. Just a little longer and she could kiss Marco everyday.

“FULL SPEED FIRST MATE CONNIE!”

“STOP CALLING ME THAT!”

Marco and Star broke away from their kiss to see an out of control Nova and Connor skidding dangerously left and right, their fuel source sputtering and coughing up blobs of foam rather than a stream of it

“Oh Glagok!” Star shouted before covering her mouth, eyes fearfully glancing around as if she was worried she accidentally offended someone.

“Star, I don't....”

“it's like your F word married the C word and gave birth to a word that grew up to everyone's expectations, went to the most prestigious school, dropped out and now peddles illegal alchemical goods to hapless, naive tourists.”

Marco wanted to voice his confusion at that explanation when the shopping cart overturned, launching both Connor and Nova high into the air. Connor let out a cry of fear, arms flailing wildly while Nova held her fist high into the sky, propelled through the air like a superhero.

“MY BABY!” Marco shrieked.

“Our baby Marco” Star scolded, grabbing her husband's hand and dragging him forward, trying her hardest to calculate where Nova was going to land “Ugh, why is she moving so fast?”

“I'll make a note to write a letter to the CEO of Walmart and let them know they should increase the friction between their wheels and their waxed floors!” Marco sarcastically responded.

“No time for a note Marco” Star scolded, the sarcastic edge to Marco's voice flying right over her head

Marco wanted to say more but it turned out his little comment was far more distracting to Star than he thought because without any warning, the two crashed into a wall of produce, sending the entire wall of food tumbling forward and chaining one long domino effect that rippled across the remainder of the store.

Marco and Star lay across a nice, squishy, now crushed pile of bread, groaning in pain and tiredness.

“Ugh I felt like I got sucker punched by Spike Balls” Star whined, rubbing her forehead with the back of her hand “What hit us?”

Marco groped blindly underneath his battered body, grunting with effort as he held aloof the item that caused the pair so much pain “Remind me to use sourdough as a home defense weapon....”

“WEEEEEE” Nova's voice caught the attention of her parents but before either of them could react in time, Nova came sailing directly towards them and their cushy pile of bread, Connor arms wrapped around her like some sort of a human cape. With a soft thud, the two children landed safely between Star and Marco, Nova giggling happy like the little girl she was as Connor shivered like a leaf in the wind, eyes wide with trauma.

“That was fun!” Nova cheered, shaking Connor loose out of his stupor and embracing him tightly causing Connor to finally relax.

“Nova Analise Butterfly!”

Nova jumped at the sound of her completely infuriated father, cowering behind Connor in hopes that somehow the young boy would cool her father's rage.

“Connie, save me!” Nova cried, visibly shaking behind her best friend.

Connor said nothing as he took a step to the side, unblocking Marco from his daughter.

“Thanks Connie.” Nova pouted as Connor stuck out his tongue

“Nova, what were you thinking?! You could've been hurt! You could've gotten Connor hurt. You could've become bald!”

Nova paled “Bald?! Me?”

Marco felt his hardened heart soften at the sight of his daughter clutching her little pigtails fearfully.

“I'm sorry daddy....” Nova frowned, eyes pooling tears of disappointment and shame

“What were you thinking sweetie?” Marco asked gently, crouching down to eye level to calm Nova down.

“I...I...” Nova shifted guiltily “You talk about all the fun times you had with mommy....and....she...she's here today...I...thought.....I...I...I just wanted be like mommy......”

Marco and Star shared a look, their resolving crumbling under Nova's cutely adorable assault.

“Oh sweetie” Star murmured softly, reaching out and embracing her sniffling child “You don't have to do crazy and reckless things to be like mommy. Just be yourself.”

“B-but...but you are so cool and amazing” Nova countered, pulling away from Star but not breaking her mother's hold on her shoulders “Daddy tells me all the super amazing stories you two have.....I wanted to impresses you...”

“And you'll make your own” Star softly answered, holding her cheek “but you are young. You're only job isn't trying to impress me, it's being my little girl.”

Nova held her mother tight, enjoying every moment of their hold on one another. Who knows when her mommy was going to able to visit again and even if she was in so much trouble, it was worth it just to enjoy a hug from her amazing mother.

Soon, Star silently promised to Nova, soon you won't need to get by on our old stories. Soon you'll have your mother every day of your life and I will never have to leave you again. I promise.

“Umm sir?”

Marco turned to see a handful of police officers as well as who must've been the manager of the Walmart. Marco finally took in the entire destruction of the store: small random fires, countless of overturned walls and goods scattered throughout the floor, a few ceiling lights hung dangerously barely held together by a few wires.

“Oh dang...” Marco muttered to himself, wondering how he was going to pay for all this damage. He was just one month away from getting his master's degree in psychology but he was already up to his eyeballs in debt. Well he didn't need to live comfortably when he was 60 right?

“I....I'm sure I can...” Marco began but the manger held up his hand.

“Is your wife Star Butterfly?”

“Yes!” Star rose to her feet excitedly, gesturing and showing off her mewberty wings for confirmation “yes that is me! Staaaaar Butterfly.”

The police rolled their eyes, dispersing without another word as the manager let out a sigh of relief, answering Star and Marco's quizzical stare with a sheepish “I've got Star coverage. Every store in town has it”

“Star coverage?” Star wondered but Marco was already dragging his wife, their daughter and the traumatized best friend out of the store, counting his lucky stars that Star lived in Echo Creek once upon a time.

“You okay Connie? Didn't have fun?” Nova asked curiously, finally noticing Connor's displeased facial expression.

“Stop calling me Connie...you're just teasing like everyone else.”

Nova frowned, finally realizing how much Connor disliked her playful nickname for him.

“Fine, if you don't like Connie, I'm calling your four eyes from now on! What?” Nova cut Connor's retort short “You don't like it? Are you kidding me? That is so cool to have four eyes! You can see four times better than any other kid our age. Makes you like a superhero or something. My superhero!”

Connor blushed, something about Nova's logic not sitting well with him but the way she said it, the happiness, the pride she took in coming up with that nickname, made him feel warm and fuzzy. Connor liked four eyes. Made his glasses seem almost normal and not a disability.

“Okay Nova.” Connor consented “You can call me four eyes but not too much.”

“No promises four eyes” Nova told him with a wide smile.

“Bye Connor! Bye guys, see you next week!” Marco waved goodbye to the departing Sinclair family, grateful that Connor decided not to inform his parents about the rather eventful trip to Walmart when asked about his day. He liked Connor and he knew Nova was much more fond of the young man than she let on. Or showed.

He let out a tired sigh, glancing to the living room where he last left Star and Nova, his parents already fast asleep after such an exciting dinner with their elusive daughter-in-law.

Marco couldn't stop the soft smile that graced his face as he found Star and Nova sleeping comfortably on the couch, Nova held close to Star as Star tilted her head back, the pair of his favorite girls lightly snoring in unison.

Marco should've woke Star up, sent his wife back to Mewni ASAP before someone discovered where she had really disappeared to but Star's mother was a frightening woman to face (he knew that one first hand when he was summoned to Mewni for a little talk involving their starshine) and Marco knew for all her tough love, Moon loved her daughter and granddaughter even in spite of the questioned legality of Nova's claim to the throne and she was pretty fond of Marco too. She would buy Star enough time to sneak back into the palace without anyone the wiser and Marco wanted to spend one night with his family, whole and complete as they would one day be.

And so, as quietly as he could, Marco shut off the lights in the living room, carefully laying down next to Star, taking his wife and daughter in his arms and covered his little family, his world with a warm blanket, drifting off to the most peaceful sleep he had in years.

#nova vs #star au #future!#my story

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stevenuniversallyreviews · 6 years

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Episode 75: Steven’s Birthday

“Looks like you stagnated there a little bit, buddy.”

My brother is nearly two years older than me, but due to his summer birthday we were only a grade apart in school. My sister is exactly two years and eight days younger than me. One of the many things you get as a middle child, particularly when the ages are so close together, is a sense of innate value in being slightly older.

There have been several moments in my post-high school life when, for various reasons, I’ve assumed that certain peers were older than me. Whenever I learn that these age impostors are actually younger, it rocks me to my core. I just have this semi-conscious deference to people who are a little bit older, and I swear my internal reaction to learning that I’m the older one is always “Well then why the hell was I respecting you so much?”

I acknowledge that this is absurd, especially because I don’t expect that kind of deference from my younger peers (this could be due to my sister’s low tolerance for my BS, I dunno). In practice, I’m not even consciously nicer to people I think are older; as far as I’m aware, it’s all in my head. But there’s still a tiny sense of rank that comes with age order that I'm not sure I’ll ever shake.

This is all to say that I've never related more deeply with Connie Maheswaran than I do in Steven’s Birthday.

I mentioned in my post on Nightmare Hospital how much I appreciate the specifics we get on this show, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we first learn Steven and Connie’s exact ages (as well as Greg’s age at the time of Story for Steven) in another Connie-centric episode. The Gems don’t care about specifics, because they live so long that everything just kind of goes together. But humans—especially the kids in the audience—care a lot about detail, and this is ultimately an episode about Steven’s humanity.

And yeah, it’s weird that Steven is 14. Or rather, that he was 12 and 13 for as long as we’ve known him; considering Steven’s Birthday is after the second Beach-a-Palooza we’ve seen on this show, I assume he had another birthday that we didn’t get to see. If this kid was going to school, this show would be taking place from seventh through ninth grade. Yikes!

But this reaction is the point. We’re meant to be shocked. 14-year-olds tend not to act like Steven, for better (they tend to be savvier) and for worse (they tend to be terrified of earnestness and hide their insecurities with attitude sassier). Despite the character development we’ve seen from Steven, he’s still firmly in kid mode. Part of that is the realities of a show with set character designs (cue the fandom complaints about inconsistent sizes*); note that he still doesn’t physically grow until the time jump. But in-universe, it also has to do with a continued mindset that he’s pursuing equal footing with the Crystal Gems. If his life is defined by pursuit, he’ll never actually reach the goal.

*In regard to character sizes: I see characters like I see language. If you say a word that’s slang or dialectal, and someone fluent in that slang or dialect immediately understands you, then that’s a word, regardless of what a dictionary says. If I look at a character I’m familiar with and immediately recognize that character, then that’s the character. Moreover, there are characters in Steven Universe who care as much about size as the fandom, and spoiler alert, they’re the villains.

As I’ve maintained since all the way back in Bubble Buddies, Connie is an agent of change. She’s Steven’s prompt to start growing up for real, and Steven’s Birthday has nice little nods to many of the ways they’ve developed together so far. They toast with durian juiceboxes, the same gross fruit drink that caused An Indirect Kiss. Greg offers Connie a ride home in the van, which is the bulk of Winter Forecast, and in that same ride Connie talks about the training with Pearl that began in Sworn to the Sword. There’s a big dancing scene a la Alone Together. Connie even broaches the possibility of skirting movie theater law, and despite retracting the suggestion, she was all about sneaking food in Lion 2: The Movie (her vision of Dogcopter in the stars is icing on that cookie cake).

After Nightmare Hospital’s friendship episode, we jump right back to romantic subtext here. I don’t know too many platonic friends who slow dance until one does a vintage foot pop, or who assume they’ll be married when one of them is president, or who just blush this much in general. It makes a ton of sense to go for this angle in an episode about getting older, but more importantly, awww.

This is the first time subtle relationship angst has been introduced to their dynamic: unlike Connie freaking out about Steven’s family in Fusion Cuisine or Steven trying to ice Connie out in Full Disclosure, the tension between these two spends the whole episode simmering but never surfaces in a big way. It just manifests in awkward discomfort, which does manage to convince me that Steven is 14 now. While they don’t dwell on it too much, Connie is clearly more attracted to Tall Steven than Regular Steven, and I think he knows it. If you’re not a young teen already, imagine being a young teen again and knowing you could make your crush like you, but it caused physical pain. Yeah, not too surprising Steven goes for it.

(If you’re younger than a young teen, get off Tumblr right this instant and read a book. Love, a children’s librarian.)

On top of looking taller, Zach Callison drops closer to his regular speaking voice to complete the illusion of Steven’s growth; like companion episode Too Many Birthdays, he gets to show off a vocal range that Steven usually doesn’t have. While Too Many Birthdays does show that Steven has some control over his age, and didn’t actually have to stretch it out here, I like the implication that despite wanting to look older for Connie, he still doesn’t feel older quite yet. And he gets a nifty (if unsubtle) lesson about being himself at the end when his mature decision to stop altering himself is rewarded with his first puny facial hair. (As someone whose father could grow a full beard in high school but who himself had nothing but peach fuzz until after college, I feel you, Steven.)

Lamar Abrams and Katie Mitroff thread the needle on Connie, who has to balance the role of being a good friend against being the root of Steven’s body issues. She easily could’ve delved into Fusion Cuisine levels of unsympathetic, but it’s clear that her feelings about Steven’s appearance stem more from concern than anything else. Yes, she does like his taller form, but she never intentionally pressures him to maintain it, and accepts his regular form without question. She even wants to hang out with his baby form! I wouldn’t have even minded if her worry manifested in getting a little upset with him, as this would be a natural reaction to Steven’s condition and Connie isn’t perfect, but she cares more about who Steven is than what he looks like, which is just the kind of friend/crush he needs.

Connie also gets a nice amount of bonding time with Greg, with an explicit reference to their roles as the most important human beings in Steven’s life that we got from We Need to Talk. I love how Greg’s doting fatherhood is something that Steven is probably still super into, but is only embarrassed by because Connie is around; he’s right at the cusp, but he’s still a kid. But through Greg’s interactions with Connie, we see that his Dad Mode isn’t restricted to goofy shows of affection, and he’s willing to get serious when a kid that isn’t even his is upset. Just as we could’ve had an episode where Connie was more of a jerk, Steven’s quiet abandonment of his cape and crown could’ve made for some painful interactions with Greg. I’m so glad that Abrams and Mitroff are content with how uncomfortable the core premise of the episode is and don’t feel the need to shove in additional drama.

Also, while it’s clear from the extended theme song and implied in other Greg episodes, this is the first in-show confirmation that Greg raised Steven on his own for a significant portion of his life. It comes with yet another callback, this time to Laser Light Cannon as we crank up Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart, and it’s heartwarming to think about those early days of Greg and Baby Steven in an episode that’s so focused on the question of Steven’s humanity. Three Gems and a Baby will show the sorts of challenges Greg actually faced, but it also reinforces what we learn here: that for all their cosmic wisdom, Steven needed a human to raise him first. Not even Garnet pulling faces can do what Greg does.

The method by which Steven adjusts his form turns Steven’s Birthday into something of an Amethyst Episode (I love how this show is willing to pick certain Gems to focus on even when all three are still background characters). Garnet and Pearl don’t have the body issues that Amethyst now shares with Steven, especially concerning the use of shapeshifting to combat a feeling that they’re too small. Amethyst introduces the concept while stretching to hang up a banner with a pointed caveat that she can’t stay stretched forever, and when she confronts him after catching his secret (aided by him helpfully stating aloud what his secret is), you get a sense that she knows all too well how much it hurts to try to permanently hold a bigger form. In a true Amethyst Episode, this might lead to a reveal that she once attempted what Steven’s doing now (which we do see a bit of in Reformed but not in the “stretching of a base form” sense), but here, it’s left to the imagination.

Amethyst also gets that great reveal as a car seat, which I can’t unsee now but was surprised by in my first viewing due to the focus on Connie and Greg. It’s not only a fun little joke, but it gives Greg a reason to have a baby seat handy. Considering he’s a hoarder and the barn is full of old junk, we could’ve seen a regular seat without comment, but the crew doesn’t waste the opportunity for a sight gag.

There is one missing thing from Steven’s Birthday that surprised me a little. Considering our last episode (which takes place mere hours before this one) was a story about, among other things, how Garnet met Rose, it’s interesting that nobody points out the other anniversary this day represents. Steven’s birth directly correlates with Rose’s death, but neither Greg nor the Gems (not even Pearl!) seem to care. This isn’t a criticism of the episode at all: Abrams and Mitroff wanted to tell a completely different story, and there’s no way to do justice to “Gems think about Rose’s death on Steven’s special day” without making that the focus of the episode. I just think it’s an intriguing indicator of the show’s priorities. Rose is important, but in the moment the Gems see Steven as more important, and that’s pretty neat.

Anyway, it’ll be a couple more seasons until Steven and Connie get another big dose of teen-specific angst with the devastating Breakup Arc, and I doubt it’s a coincidence that their reconciliation in Kevin Party comes with Steven’s pink button-down. Still, in retrospect, the awkwardness we see here primes us for a different relationship: Lapis and Peridot’s. The latter is awkwardness incarnate, and when we finally get to know the former outside of crisis mode, it turns out she’s a surly teen. Together, they sate the show’s new appetite for adolescent drama between Steven’s Birthday and Dewey Wins, culminating in Lapis dumping Peridot (because as I literally just said, the Breakup Arc is devastating).

Shifting the teen relationship to another duo is such a smart path for the show to take, because it lets us retain focus on Steven’s identity as a growing child without abandoning the new storytelling possibilities that Steven’s Birthday suggests. It’s not as if Steven doesn’t gain any maturity until Dewey Wins—Amethyst’s arc is all about how he’s more or less caught up with her, and she’s a bit of a surly teen herself—but there’s enough Gem drama at the moment that Steven and Connie’s relationship still works best without tremendous complications.

Future Vision!

Maybe Pearl doesn’t want to hold Baby Steven because of that time she almost killed him in Three Gems and a Baby?

Steven’s facial hair might not have many new appearances, but Jungle Moon teaches us that Stevonnie gets full stubble when they’re fused long enough. And we do see it briefly in Reunited, complete with the shaving kit that explains why it’s rarely on his face. Gotta keep that chin smooth!

If Steven’s entire look after the time jump counts, then this is pretty good foreshadowing.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Steven’s discomfort expands to the viewing experience as well, and while it’s good to portray awkwardness well in situations like these, I’m not huge on rewatching it. Also, I hit my major growth spurt between fifth and sixth grade (and by major I mean I was six feet tall in sixth grade and just stuck with that height), and you don’t grow that fast without some serious back aches, so this one doesn’t just bring an intentional cringe factor, but memories of acute physical pain.

But I mean sure besides that it’s pretty good.

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Winter Forecast

When It Rains

Catch and Release

Chille Tid

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

No Thanks!

5. Horror Club 4. Fusion Cuisine 3. House Guest 2. Sadie’s Song 1. Island Adventure

#steven's birthday #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

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