#a five minute egg

[diggykit-kat]

My eggs ☹️

#my eggs #eggs #i can't cook #boiled eggs #funny memes #memes #cooking #cheif #a five minute egg #shit #master cook #kiss the cook

[tomfrogisblue]

Today was so... comforting.

Usually the server is split up over, well, the server, and split up even further with timezones.

But today, whoever's pov you had up, everyone else would pop up at some moment or other in the background.

So much of the server all together at once, all joking together, without a massive lore disaster...

Today was just kinda cozy.

#also having the eggs there too was the best idea. the kids make everything better #i still dont know why bbh was dying every five minutes tho lmao #qsmp #qsmp lore #quackity #qsmp prison #qsmp eggs #hopefully i wont eat my words tomorrow lmao

[satoandspice]

Sukuna has two dicks, one thicker than the other, which you don't understand why until it starts expanding inside of you, forcing in what you realize in horror to be eggs. It lasts forever, your stomach distending, and nausea worsening as the space inside you fills up more and more. Already exhausted, you can't get away from him, having been fucked and reduced to a drooling, sobbing mess. It's hard to breathe, being this full, and you wheeze when he pulls you off his cock, finally done stretching you out. Sagging in his arms, he slides you right back down on his other dick, and starts thrusting. The force would throw you off his lap, but his nails pierce your skin and hold you in place. What parts of you not held down flail around in a dizzying, embarrassing frenzy. This time when he cums so much it spills over and runs from between your thighs to your ankles you thank him for doing so, more relieved to be done than terrified about what has happened.

#I have no idea what this is #tw.monsterfucking #tw.oviposition #technically i think #tw.pregnancy #just to be safe #sukuna x reader #curses and eggs just makes sense ya know? #it'd be really entertaining if the eggs never take hold though #cant believe i wrote this in five minutes of a delirious haze

[slime-water-shrew]

A little comic I made of my dumbass self. I was a weird egg and would rather make strange conspiracy theories than actually question my gender.

I drew it by hand rather than pen so it’s baaad but the point remains the same

#tw sexism #I don’t know why I thought this but yeah… #transmasculine #trans male #trans guy #trans man #trans boy #transgender #trans #comic #my art #but it was done in five minutes so sorry about that #egg #trans egg #trans memes #queer memes

[anartisticdreamer0]

Dadza gonna get the belt.

#chat was literally like ‘killza’ every five minutes #we are PROTECTIVE #i imagine things are about to get much more interesting round here #i mean phil has just basically made a fairy underground bunker for tallulah and chayanne #philza #philza fanart #qsmp philza #qsmp #qsmp fanart #qsmp eggs #qsmp tallulah #qsmp chayanne #vi makes art

[anonymouspuzzler]

WOMEN

(thanks as always to @incorrectbugsnaxquotes for inspiring many of these! also, alt text/image IDs under cut!)

[Image 1 ID: A two-panel comic of Eggabell and Lizbert. In the first panel, Eggabell is running down the stairs in a panic, shouting, "Is something burning??" In the second, Lizbert is leaning flirtatiously against the kitchen counter, wearing a frilly "Kiss the Grump" apron, with her hat and a spatula she is holding both visibly scorched and a toaster clearly erupting in flames behind her. She says, with a little heart, "Just my desire for you", while an offscreen Eggabell screams, "LIZBERT THE TOASTER IS ON FIRE".]

[Image 2 ID: A little doodle of Eggabell lying in bed with a quilted eye mask on, one arm folded over her chest, and the text "i sleep." next to her.]

[Image 3 ID: Lizbert sitting in bed, propped up by pillows, holding Eggabell in her lap with a smile. Eggabell is still wearing the quilted eye mask and is drooling slightly, with "ZZZZ" snoring sounds in the air above her.]

[Image 4 ID: A drawing of Eggabell recreating the Ben Affleck Smoking meme. She is grimacing slightly and looking unfocused out into the middle distance, holding a fry in one hand instead of a cigarette, with a package of fries and a glass soda bottle with a straw in it sitting on the balcony in front of her.]

[Image 5 ID: A drawing of Eggabell from the waist up, resting her head against her closed hand, looking exhausted. She appears to be speaking and there is a blank word balloon above her head.]

[Image 6 ID: A two-panel comic of Filbo, the Journalist, and Eggabell. In the first panel, the Journalist, facing away from the camera, is helping a visibly dizzy Filbo up. Eggabell, with a panicked expression, is running up behind them with a first aid kit under her arm, saying, "If it's a concussion, we have to keep him conscious. Ask him questions!!" In the second panel, Filbo is now sitting on the ground looking confused, with the Journalist next to him crouched with their back to the camera, holding up fingers and asking, "What's seven times seven?" Eggabell, opening up the first aid kit next to them, shouts back, "Stuff he knows!!"]

[Image 7 ID: A three-panel comic of Lizbert and Eggabell. In the first panel, they are sitting side by side on a log, staring lovingly at each other. In the second, Floofty walks by behind them loudly opening a soda can, causing Eggabell to look over in concern and Liz to look annoyed. In the third, Lizbert is looking over her shoulder saying, "We're having a moment.", to which Floofty, sipping their drink, responds nonchalantly, "And I'm having a soda."]

[Image 8 ID: A two-panel comic of Eggabell and Lizbert. In the first, Liz is laughing loudly, holding a drink bottle in one hand and shoving a nervous-looking Filbo's shoulder with the other, as Eggabell comes up behind her, places a hand on her back and says, "Lizbert, you're drunk." In the second, Lizbert, looking utterly sloshed, turns around and places a finger on the lips of an amused-looking Eggabell, slurring, "Shhhhhhhhhh. Don't tell Eggabell."]

[Image 9 ID: A simplistic, three-panel comic of Lizbert and Eggabell. In the first, Liz is picking up Eggabell, with a caption reading "1. Lift wife". In the second panel, Eggabell, still visibly in midair, picks up Liz, who has her arms in the air, with a caption reading "2. wife lift me". The final panel shows extremely simplistic renderings of them both lifting off into the sky, with a caption reading "3. flight".]

#Anonymous Puzzler art #bugsnax #lizbert x eggabell #lizbert megafig #eggabell batternugget #bugsnax spoilers #liz and egg still mean so much to me i STILL sell people on this game by saying THERE ARE *CUTE LESBIANS* IN THE *FIRST FIVE MINUTES* #granted i'm biased bc they make me think of me and my partner #honey if you're reading this: i love you let's still recreate their family photos someday for a laugh #tw for alcohol use also

[ghost-bard]

There is a world in which the last thing Juanaflippa ever said to q! Charlie was that she hated him and the last thing she ever saw was enemies surrounding her and the last thing she ever felt was q! Mariana’s sword killing her.

#qsmp #quackity smp #qsmp slimecicle #qsmp el mariana #qsmp slimeriana #qsmp juanaflippa #q charlie #q elmariana #juanaflippa the egg #juanaflippa #sorry i was thinking about them again #like imagine they never got those last five minutes w her #say what you will about the federation and it was def a manipulation tactic but #there is no world in which the two of them were better off not having those last few minutes w juanaflippa

[fireheartwraith]

The thing is, if someone wants to abuse a system, they will. It doesn’t matter what failsafes you implement. No system is perfect. If your objective is helping people, you should focus on that, not on "but what if someone abuses it" because someone will. That's a fact. But I'd rather help as many people as possible without making them go through tiresome and unnecessary legal hoops to prove they actually need help. The only way to guarantee a system won't be misused is to not have it at all. And I don’t think everyone that would benefit from it should be sacrificed just so a couple of bad apples don't abuse it.

#qsmp #i hope my point comes across alright #i don't feel like rewriting it to be better #basically: #help as many people as possible even if that allows for an ill intentioned person to take advantage of you #also don't assume the worst in people #you can't judge wether or not someone needs help in five minutes #they shouldn’t “look like it” to be deserving of help #and now I don't think I'm talking about cookies anymore #qsmp eggs

[discworldwitches]

i have been making roasted yam & braised arugula and poached eggs for breakfast/lunch and the difference from being overstimulated in the last few moments to how i feel after i have eaten is so major and makes the cooking worth it

#there’s zero cutting involved (bc i cut all the yam into cubes before as like ~prep~) which is why i like it #the recipe is: cubed yam tossed in salt black pepper olive oil crushed chili pepper (the kind w the seeds) & red pepper flakes (gochugaru) #and then into the oven and then i have one of those big chopped garlic things and i put that in the pan w olive oil until the garlic is #aromatic and shit and then i add the arugula to braise it before taking the yams (out of the oven) and putting them in the pan #so the arugula gets some of the salt and spice & the yam gets the garlic and it’s all mixed #and then i add poached eggs on top #w precut yams the prep time is like five minutes and the cook time is 30 which is honestly fine bc mostly i just sit and have coffee while #waiting for the yams to roast #but it’s cheap and involves less standing than frying eggs ime #ive mentioned little to standing several times sorry im just proud of myself

[empty-pringles-can]

My dog longs for hardboiled eggs the same way i long for ao3 to return

#ao3 #ao3 update #ao3 down #hard boiled eggs #dog #my dog likes eggs #i miss ao3 #ive made three posts on tumblr in the past five minutes #as opposed to being productive #cause ao3 is down

[eggtrolls]

Found a small devil’s snare (sorry former Harold Potter readers, that’s a real plant) on a walk in the woods today and did some reading.

It’s a hallucinogenic plant (cool) from Mexico but it’s only rarely used recreationally because it is an almost guaranteed bad trip. You will feel like shit. Your brain and body will hurt, you’ll experience a profound AND long-lasting delirium, and you may actually die. It’s been used in indigenous ceremonies and for some funky medicinal purposes but I love the idea of a plant that has evolved to get you high and it is 99% certain that it’s going to be super unpleasant no matter what

#Melissa said one of her colleagues wanted to see how much you need to touch (just touch!) to experience effects #and rubbed a bunch of leaves in his hands ‘vigorously’ for five minutes #and then was TRIPPING BALLS on his commute home on the LIRR which is the worst possible outcome I can imagine #Egg talks #dispatches from the park

[astro-b-o-y-d]

No way Mina just found an ancient seed on FLOOR 28 of the mine,,,,

#Hayley Plays Stardew #She's going to find a dinosaur egg in five minutes with this kind of luck

[swordshapedleaves]

Okay so a general rule of boiling stuff is that you start root vegetables in cold water, but other veggies go right into already boiling water. And for some reason, the phrase "eggs are therefore a root vegetable" will not leave me alone.

#food #cooking #start the egg in cold water. bring ti a boil. start a five minute timer. pick the eggs out and place directly in an ice bath #this will (on my current stove) give you solid whites and perfect jammy yolks

[skellytonsandstars]

I’m gonna be on a trip this week.. please watch over the boy

#skelly rambles #skellys genshin tag #genshin impact #venti #ignore that his head looks like an egg I did this in literally five m #minutes #also #feel free to cause mischief with the boy it will amuse me when I return

[you-will-return]

---

#sorry for being so afk recently #it probably won't change #i haven't had a calm moment since mid-December and it's starting to gnaw at my brain #and now the only irl place where I felt somewhat happy is falling apart bc of in-group-politics #it's so annoying #can't we just all breathe for a second? #can't everyone stop being passive aggressive assholes to each other for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES? #i don't want to pick sides #i don't want this stupid group to break apart #something has been feeling off since October and last week my friend and I finally put our finger on it #and BOY figuring it out has.not.helped. #meanwhile all I've been doing has been watching old races from the 90s #bc the only thing that makes my brain shut up at the moment is cars going vroom in a circle for 1.5hrs apparently #every irl interaction atm feels like walking on egg shells #and the only thing that's stopping me from crying every time i get home is just keeping myself busy and not thinking abt my life ever #anyway my insurance has blocked me from therapy for the next 3 years so that's great #.....i don't want to come on here and just complain but nothing has been going right recently. #maybe i'll be back to normal eventually but not at the moment #not for a while

[badass-magizoologist]

They better find the kids soon because this is stressing me out to the point where I can't focus on animating

#qsmp #qsmp eggs #I have ONE JOB in this world #And I can't focus on it because I'm refreshing tumblr and twitter every five minutes hoping for an update #QSMP is a psychological horror experiment #on everybody involved both creators and audience