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otrtbs · 2 years

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L'ENFANCE NUE

PAIRING: JAMES POTTER X BASSIST! REGULUS

WORD COUNT: 2k

SUMMARY: Sirius drags the group to see his brother's band play a show. James loves what he sees.

"Sorry, sorry," James muttered as he let Peter pull him along the crowd of people gathered by the makeshift stage set up outside.

“Christ, and Sirius was worried no one would show up,” Peter shook his head, desperately trying to get to the beacon of blonde hair at the front that was Marlene McKinnon.

"Well, I'm excited. Sirius always goes on and on about his brother, but he's quite elusive, isn't he?"

"What?" Peter turned to look back at James quickly.

"I'm excited to see the band," James shouted in an attempt to be heard over the music thumping through the speakers.

They were at Evan Rosier's house. Though, house would be putting it lightly. It was more like they were at Evan Rosier's mansion to see Sirius' brother perform with his band. It was Evan who decided to make a night of it and through a party before the garage show.

Sirius had demanded that everyone show up to support Regulus and made them all promise to cheer and clap loudly in between each and every song. James and Peter were happy to do it, Remus needed thorough convincing to make an appearance on a Thursday night, and Marlene was in charge of rounding up all the girls.

"Oh thank God you're all finally here," Marlene grinned once they made their way to the front. "The band is about to go on and I swear I actually had to bark at people in order to save you a spot at the front. Get here earlier next time, would you?"

James waved to Lily who was standing on the other side of Marlene.

"Where's-"

"Mary's getting drinks," Marlene supplied, inferring the end of Peter's sentence. "She'll be back any minute."

"That's where Sirius and Remus went," Peter nodded, straining his voice to be heard above the noise.

All four of them talked among themselves for a moment, exchanging pleasantries, comments about the party, and remarks about the house.

"So the band name, l'enfance nue," James began. "Any idea what it means?"

Suddenly the technopop blaring through the speakers stopped and people James didn't recognize began setting up microphones and testing the drum set. James raised his eyebrows in surprise and caught Lily's eye. This seemed a little more professional than an impromptu garage show.

Lily only rolled her eyes in response mouthing, 'groupies' before returning her attention to Marlene.

"No clue what it means, but it's pretentious and French, so it's perfect for an underground band," Marlene nodded definitely. "They're bound to make it big with a name like that."

"Pretentious and French? I believe you called," Sirius grinned, passing plastic cups of slightly pink liquid down the row.

Mary must have found Sirius and Remus in the house because she was with them, also carrying cups in her hand.

"MacDonald," Peter grinned widely as Mary bounded over to him and wedged her way in between Marlene and Peter.

They began talking in an excited and rushed conversation, and James couldn't help but smile at the both of them fondly. Mary always was Peter's favorite, and the feeling was very mutual.

The air had a sharp chill to it as the sun had set many hours before and it was nearing the winter season, but one sip of whatever was in the cup Sirius had handed him warmed James right up.

"Sirius, what is this?" James could barely get the question out without sputtering as the sting made its way down his throat.

"Dunno," he shrugged. "It's Pandora's pink punch. She said she spent all day brewing it like a witch over her cauldron," Sirius laughed. "She wants to call it Lovestruck, but I'm very fond of the alliterative title."

James only nodded in response before taking another sip. He felt the warmth in his face almost instantly.

"My name is Evan Rosier, and this is my band, L'enfance Nue," Evan shouted into the microphone before running to take his place behind the drums.

People began cheering as the plucky sounds of an electric guitar began to reverberate through the speakers.

"Oh my God, oh my God," Marlene watched the guitarist step into the light. "Pandora, Pandora. Speak," her voice came out almost an octave higher than normal.

James was about to tell Marlene that Pandora wasn't with them when a soft and airy voice spoke from directly behind him.

"Dorcas Meadows. Lead Vocalist. Also on guitar. Never seen without those boots that go all the way up to your knees, fashion icon, glue of the group, and very single."

Marlene nodded rapidly to everything that Pandora was saying while never taking her eyes off Dorcas.

Another person came into view, playing an impressive riff on another guitar with an almost maniacal grin.

"Barty Crouch," Pandora said, still happy to be supplying information. She always seemed to know everything about everyone. "Jr. Lead guitarist. Incredible and he knows it and will make sure you know it too. Arrogance personified."

More cheers erupted from the crowd.

"Now we're just missing ah-," Pandora stopped speaking as plucky bass notes vibrated in James' heart.

Whatever James was expecting to happen tonight, whoever James imagined Regulus to be from Sirius' many stories of him, was rendered completely obsolete the minute Regulus came into view.

He was wearing a black jacket and let his curly hair fall in his face in a way that looked so effortless. He was biting his lip in concentration as he moved his fingers along the frets of the bass guitar.

Oh, fuck.

James was hardly phased by Sirius' extra loud scream for his brother.

"Regulus Black." Pandora was back in his ear again. "Bassist for the band. Thinks he's better than everyone else because he reads obscure literature and rolls his own cigarettes, amazing bassist but won't brag about it, and sometimes he'll just look at you with that look, and you'll know."

"What look? Know what?" James couldn't stop looking at Regulus as he did a little half spin to nod to Evan before he took his place next to Barty.

In a sing-songy voice, Pandora replied, "you'll see. He's single, by the way. You and McKinnon are wearing the exact same facial expression right now."

James felt his grip tighten on the plastic cup in his hand.

Regulus put his lips up to the microphone and since Marlene had managed to get them all to the front, James could see how beautifully pink they were. "My band," Regulus mumbled around the microphone with a smirk as Evan flipped him off behind his back with a smile.

"Hi everyone, my name is Dorcas Meadows. Thanks for coming out tonight," Dorcas began with a soft smile. "This song is called Motel Reflections. We hope you like it."

"Hey Sirius," James leaned to his left so his chin was practically resting on Sirius' shoulder. "How do you become a groupie?"

"What? Oh no," Sirius shook his head quickly as he punched James on the arm. "Pick your jaw up off the floor, James. And stop looking at my brother like that!"

Quickly, James snapped his mouth closed as Dorcas' hypnotic lilt carried on.

'Coming out from I don't know where. So unwise.'

Occasionally, Barty would join in singing. Regulus, however, was only focused on his bass guitar, bobbing his head along to the beat. James could only watch as his curls moved ever so lightly over his eyes. He could tell Regulus was concentrating, but he appeared almost bored with a completely calm expression and tired eyes. Effortlessly cool.

"Besides Regulus would destroy you. You're nice, you need nice," Sirius was still speaking.

"I'll be nice enough for the both of us," James responded, barely feeling his lips move.

It was still loud enough for Sirius to hear as he let out a loud snort.

"This one," Barty began and winked at a group of girls who were calling out to him as the first song ended. "This one I wrote myself. It's called Post Break-Up Sex."

The group of girls cheered once more as the next song began.

Barty had a nice voice. It was rough and a little gravelly which made it unique. In the back, Evan was beating on the drums with all his concentration. James tried to pay equal attention to everyone in the band, but his eyes always found their way back to Regulus.

Regulus' fingers, which were long and slender, strummed away. His black nail polish chipped slightly and a silver ring glinted on his thumb. His eyes traveled along Regulus' jawline, which would become more pronounced when he looked out at the crowd.

Dorcas began to sing a third song and then a fourth. James watched as Regulus' eyes scanned the front row, first landing on Sirius. He rolled his eyes affectionately and tried to hide his smile when Sirius waved enthusiastically to him. Then his eyes landed on James. James was practically vibrating under his stare.

In the most unsubtle way possible, Regulus' gaze lingered on James, looking him up and down slowly. Then, when James caught his eye, he smirked before returning his attention back to his bass guitar.

"I'm not making that up, right? I couldn't have imagined that," James spoke at last, desperately trying to hide the grin threatening to spill out.

"Fuck's sake, that idiot is doing this on purpose," Sirius shook his head. "No, James, unfortunately, you weren't dreaming. Pandora put your hands down," Sirius hissed.

James looked back just in time to see Pandora pointing to him with one hand and giving a giant thumbs up and a smile to Regulus with the other hand.

He wishes he could say he felt embarrassed.

The night carried on. Eventually, Sirius found himself entangled in Remus' arms, swaying to the beat. Lily was also in the same boat, swaying back and forth with Mary.

Ever so often, Regulus' eyes would flick over to meet James and James would have to do his best not to scream.

"I'm just saying," Marlene leaned closer to James to be heard over the music. She was still staring at Dorcas. James wasn't sure that she had blinked once since Dorcas came out, not that he was any better. "How cool would it be if we toured with the band? Me with Dorcas and you and Regulus. We could go to all their concerts and have backstage passes and-"

"They're not even famous," James interjected, smiling anyway.

"Not yet," Marlene huffed. "Manifest this with me, would you?"

James nodded in response. It would be cool.

"Uh," Regulus laughed into the mic after a few more songs. "This is the last song of the night. It's called Sensitivity."

He ran a hand through his hair and James felt his heart jump to his throat as Regulus smirked directly at him, raising his eyebrows. "We're L'enfance Nue and we want to thank you for coming out tonight."

Then to James' surprise, Regulus began singing. It was the only song he had sung the entire night, and his voice was otherworldly. James was positive he was ascending.

'Meet me in the backseat. Tell me that you love me. Please just be so caring to know that I'm here.'

"Anyway," Pandora rested her head on James' shoulder from where she was standing behind him. "Regulus wants to know if you're available after the show tonight."

"Hah," James scoffed. "And how could you know that?"

"Because he gave you the look."

"The look?"

"The one and only trademark Regulus Black look. Plus, I know you have butterflies in your stomach, don't lie. And I've been his friend long enough to read his mind. Don't worry he'll ask you after the show, I'm just giving you a warning so you can formulate a cool and calm response," Pandora laughed.

'All my sensitivity. Never let it get to me. Grabs me like a cavity. Brings me to a tragedy.'

Regulus continued to sing. James was free after the show. James was free every day for the rest of his life.

(The songs reference in this are as followed. Motel Reflections by Pro Teens, Post Break-Up Sex by The Vaccines, and Sensitivity by Worn-Tin if you want to give them a listen!)

#nat writes #l'enfance nue #if you like lady bird you might like this #james potter #regulus black #jegulus #actually this was just self indulgent #as is everything I do these days #hA #don't mind the typos or whatever i wrote this and refuse to reread it #it's not that deep #i actually made l’enfance nue my entire personality when I saw lady bird #it’s true #i am most definitely asleep btw #this is queued

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aeide-thea · 2 years

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on principle opposed to describing art i dislike as 'masturbatory' because even though it's an alluringly contemptuous word to sneer it's impossible to reconcile with my pro-masturbation stance

#it's such an ugly word but like. self-pleasure is good‚ actually #it's good to know yourself and what you like and lovingly treat yourself to it!#like similarly 'meretricious' is extremely tempting if you ignore the underlying metaphor #but. hard to.#language #and quite frankly i think people who whip out 'masturbatory' in this sneering sort of way #are leveraging‚ if we're honest with ourselves‚ a particular framing of it as a gross thing that boys do #because like. when have you ever heard a *woman's* self-indulgent art described as masturbatory #like don't get me wrong we absolutely still dismiss it! but we dismiss it in other ways #that are usually about how embarrassing her *yearning* is #and so even our sneering is reinforcing an idea that men Act whereas women Feel #anyway this was prompted by some things but i shoved it in the queue so now i forget what lol #so here you are getting some contextless thoughts on the use of 'masturbatory' as sneering dismissive assessment!#just what you were hoping for i'm sure :)

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the-holy-ghosted · 5 months

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god i miss when this artist posted (<- is the artist)

#the heron speaketh #having a frustrating evening.#i keep promising fun things but i might just have to post something simple and self indulgent before i get in gear again #i have ideas but nothing will fucking posess me enough to actually sit and work on it i just keep picking and picking at things #this sounds pathetic oughhg woe is me but there are like. almost 450 of you. who followed for art. and i DONT POST #shaking myself by the shoudlers would you just draw please

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1-800-luvmail · 2 months

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[ read part two w/ könig here ! ]

reader who would rather eat cardboard than have their self sufficiency questioned vs cod men [ 1 / ? ]

price— who is fighting the urge to just take the jar and help you the minute he sees you struggle with the tight lid— tries to reason with you as you insist you've almost got it.

"sweetheart," he sighs, watching with his arms crossed as you continue your stubborn attempt, "why don't you let me have a go, hm?"

"it's basically open— this stupid lid just won't—" you grumble, more to yourself than to him. he's unsure which is more stubborn: the lid of the jar or you.

eventually, you do get it open.

"see! hah! i told you—" you grin, triumphantly holding the jar up for him to see.

"that you did," price can't help but be slightly amused, "many times."

"and i was right."

strangely, you never struggle with a jar like that again. not like you think much about it, just happy about your little victories. and now, you offer to open everything for him. price lets you.

he's never telling you that he's made a habit of loosening the lids before you can get to them, because, god that smile of yours as you succeed in "helping" him is just too adorable.

#val's 💭#johnathan price #john price #captain price #cod mwii #cod mw2 #call of duty #john price x reader #sooo self indulgent like. target audience is me.#raise ur hand if you support in ur life but would rather die instead of ask for it!!!!#🙋#like ok i actually am self sufficient i just feel the need to prove it way too much #anyways

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californiatowhee · 5 months

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waiting for his husband to pick him up after work

bonus domestic nonsense:

#narumitsu #wrightworth #phoenix wright #ace attorney #citsiurtlanu art #// uhuhu this was supposed to just be a sketch 'cause it's not actually that interesting #// but drawing his head tilted downward was a huge mistake and i got invested #// anyway i have decided i have lived in california long enough to be self-indulgent about it now

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memequeme · 1 month

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Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles // 9-1-1, Season 3, Episode 15, Eddie Begins // Homer (trans. Robert Fagles), The Iliad

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spinetrick · 9 months

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dehumanizes your aliens

#solar opposites spoilers #solar opposites season 4 #solar opposites #jesse #yumyulack #terry #korvo #being self indulgent here #i did mess around with the idea of making human redesigns but ultimately i just want them to be their googly-eyed regular selves #i didn't actually mind this episode too much but i live in fear of the fact that the valentines episode will be next after this human final #surely they won't respect continuity... that would be too cruel..

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daily-odile · 4 months

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everything is the same except Odile is the one looping

oh. heheheheh. muahahahaha. hold on *digs through my pile of disorganized sketches*

Odile loops au; a sketch compilation!!

Some old fic drabbles + associated sketches under cut (a6 secret spoilers):

hc: Since equipment carries over, as long as Odile uses her book in a fight, she can write down notes and have it carry over loops

toxic doomed yuri (for a more fleshed out fic I highly recommend The Sweetest Thing by soreimoon, it's amazing)

#isat #odile loops au #in stars and time #isat spoilers #isat odile #odile timeloop au #isat au #congrats on unleashing the hell gates of odile looping au!!! I've thought about it a bunch!!!!!#contexts:#candy is a reference to sasasap i think. not sure if odile likes candy though #i think it'd be funny if odile struggled with understanding how shields work for a bit. she spends several loops asking mirabelle for help #I think odile would actually spend more time in the loops once she's sure she can just loop again. They're not actually in a rush after all #and she might as well maximize her loops #under cut:#she leaves all of her excess books with loop. Loop has another thing to do while waiting #yes loop is still you know who in this one #toxic doomed yuri is just very self indulgent teehee thanks discord folks #not depicted: I also think that the more loops she does the more she views them as experiments #with variables to control and test #that's where she starts falling off the deep end and start testing stuff like. not warning siffrin about the rock #(instantly regrets it though. loops back the first time she tries)#day 26 today?#A big one! Have funnn #you can tell some of these are really old by the different colored background lmfao

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arealtrashact · 1 year

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Were they animals, that music could move them so ?

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sysig · 4 months

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Those wacky skeletons ♥ (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Sans #Papyrus #Handplates #You can tell because of Sans' gloves lol #Getting-used-to-them-again doodles as well as just expressing Feeling <3 Happy towards them! Want them to be happy too!#It might seem silly for these - how many sets in now? - to still be getting used to drawing them again lol but it's because they're adults!#Their clothes and the way they hold themselves - but also especially Sans lol I dunno why I have such difficulty with him at times #He's got a cute face and I still find myself like ????how your face #Other than that tho it's just silliness hehe ♪ My favourite lads :D #I feel the need to make the distinction: I do actually have different favourites based on the AU lol #Like for example in classic I still love Flowey just a tiiiiiny bit more than Papyrus but it really is constantly neck and neck #Whereas in Handplates it's no competition even a little bit lol - Papyrus is just my Very Favourite #But Gaster is my favourite Handplates-specific character since he's unique to the AU! It gets a bit in the weeds lol #Sans isn't far behind at all of course the trio are very important! The duo even moreso imo #Going back to gloves tho I did carry over one of my quirks from my original UT doodles about Papyrus' gloves lol #I initially envisioned them as combination mitten-gloves with a free index finger and all the rest together #I still rather like the design! But it is admittedly not Handplates accurate lol #The occasional dip into self-indulgence who me? Lol #Sleeping on each other is important to me as well!! It is such a favourite hehe #Honestly I just imagined Papyrus getting so exhausted that he fell asleep in the snow lol poor lad #Sans teleported in but it's also funny to imagine him just walking up like ''you good? yeah he's fine'' *flop* haha #Silly lads <3 Do love 'em ♪

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wouldntbehim · 5 months

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mix: firstprince (taylor's version)

#rwrbedit #alex x henry #alex claremont diaz #henry fox #my reward for not putting any tswift songs on my other mix is that i decided to do one that is just. nothing but tswift songs.#so. firstprince mix (taylor's version)#i was gonna do 'say don't go' for kensington but.#i actually liked 'haunted' a lot more for it #and nearly did 'haunted' for the scene of alex and nora but they swapped #(dress was entirely self-indulgent btw but. i couldn't resist.)#i have zero apologies for the choice of 'paper rings' btw #not pictured: me tapping my foot and waiting impatiently for rep tv #(listen my life will not be complete until i hear 'don't blame me (taylor's version)')#i'm choosing to blame this on my best friend #bc i went 'since i didn't put any on the other mix tell me i can't make one that's just tswift songs'#and she went 'do it.'#and i said 'okay at least tell me i can't just name it 'firstprince (taylor's version)'' and she said 'okay but you should'#so here we are.#also i think my favorite coloring in this is the one i used for 'wildest dreams' and 'you are in love' and 'say don't go'#yes i did attempt to color them in ways reminiscent of the albums and what about it

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passports-pls · 8 months

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I realized I haven’t draw 80’s goromi in a while so naturally I had to rectify this issue

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza 0 #majima goro #goro majima #goromi #80s goromi #the beauty mark was just a bit of self endulgence gsgdgdg #actually this whole thing was a bit of self indulgence whoops #my art

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lovegrowsart · 3 months

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it's pretty wild to me that people don't see that aang running off to save katara in CoD is his luke in empire strikes back moment, where he runs headlong into his want and attachment and he's narratively punished for doing so and not learning his lesson - aang runs after katara despite guru pathik's warning, like luke runs after leia and han from yoda on dagobah despite yoda's warning; similarly, as a result, things go to hell in ba sing se like they do on bespin - aang enters the avatar state before he's ready and gets killed, and ba sing se falls to the fire nation, luke fights vader before he's ready, loses a hand, and symbolically commits suicide after vader tells him he's luke's father.

the difference between their character arcs is that george lucas and co. actually went thru with luke's hero's journey and understood the fundamental difference between attachment and love, whereas I don't think bryke understood this difference and then dropped this from aang's arc pretty much completely and replaced it with aang digging in his heels into his want and attachment and he gets rewarded with energy bending from a lion turtle, the avatar state from a random pointy rock, and his forever girl from the self-indulgent white men that couldn't bring themselves to give their hero a compelling character arc that meant he might not have gotten everything he wanted at the end.

#the wasted potential of aang's arc gets to me so bad #the narrative and thematic set up is entirely there and they just shove it in the bin lmao #it especially irks as someone raised buddhist and dealing with writers that invoke these themes out of a fascination #with the religion and philosophy but then a complete unwillingess to actually commit to what those themes require of the character arcs #anyway sorry to say it #but zuko's arc does a better job embodying buddhist themes than aang's does in the end #despite all misappropriated aesthetics to the contrary #aang critical #but its really the writing like i LIKE aang i love his potential i hate how self indulgently he's written by the end of the show #atla critical #meta*#holly talks bs #also yes it would've been better narratively for aang katara zuko to the go the way of luke leia han #even if katara couldn't have been revealed as aang's surprise secret twin lmao #the thematic conceit of the triangle is the same in that luke and aang get over their infatuation with the first pretty girl he sees #and becomes the hero he needs to be #meanwhile hanleia and zutara are saving each other and being cool and kissing #anyway

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jessaerys · 9 months

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sun visits the moon at spk headquarters and gets so so so sleepy

#death note #my art #meronia #mihael keehl #nate river #mello dn #near dn #mellonear #trying out this new thing where i post quick art that is entirely for my own self-indulgent amusement here #this was an exercise in letting go of a piece as soon as possible and you can tell i failed because i couldn't stop retouching it #here and there. OLD HABITS DIE HARD but [with passion and confidence] expect a drop in quality/finishedness #kind of very into the colors here i like exaggerating their colors and saturations. their sun and moon codedness compels me #i also think people aren't as much into this ship because they assume they have very rigid [pardon my language] seme/uke roles and i'm like #[standing on soapbox] [crazy ex gf voice] the situation is actually a lot more nuanced than that #but these tags are long and i can't get into the push and pull power dynamics of it all. mello can heel is all i'm saying #ok that's all i have work to get back to drawing for work ( <- girl who just took a two hour break from drawing to draw)#brothercrush.txt

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pbnmj · 10 months

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i deserve a spider-woman nepal..... miles doesn't have to be the only teen spider with a terrible bisexual mentor (enter my own sketches of the world's most annoying spiderperson, who i fling towards pavitr, complete with a design that's subject to change)

#geeta methodically puts on all her jewelery before going out as spiderwoman <3 u cant fight crime if u are not cute #spidersona #of sorts? i think but everyone should have expected this from me. there was no way sony was going to give me spiderman india #and not receive spiderwoman nepal (THE KATHMANHATTAN JOKE IS TOO EASY) in response #im tackling south asian unity one spidersona at a time!#pavitr prabhakar #spiderman #my art #also ofc one specific mention to demigod-of-the-agni who inadvertently triggered my actual posting of geeta #who was just supposed to stay in my psd files forever.....#mythic mumbattan au my beloved. hindu mythology my beloved. genuinely so so cool to see and it enabled me being self indulgent on this blog #for some extra context: im very much still workshopping her and me and my nepali friend were drawing her tgt #as in she would say something and i would hurriedly scribble/sketch it down #and then i kept kinda building on it. ofc i could not resist being inspired by the comics noirverse #so here she's also gifted her powers by a goddess (durga!!!!!) and almost works w her like a much less deranged moon knight. yeah...#don't look too closely at these pls . the design/sketching/etc is kind of everywhere #edit: forgot to adjust colors so theyre up again and a little more vibrant nyeow....

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poisonous-honey · 4 months

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Soul Crushing Guilt

(This is a re-upload: Originally posted to UniverseUchu on December 2nd, 2022)

You've treated them all like toys. In your defence this was just another video game to you a couple of weeks ago, but they're actually real with thoughts and feelings of their own. You don't know how to feel.

Who’s Here! Venti

Contains: isekai reader, Self Aware Genshin (not the Cult SAGAU), Insecurities (reader), Hurt/Comfort I guess it’s called

Note: I will say this takes place in the middle of a story, but it works on its own and I really liked how this turned out. I do have more written, but it's incomprehensible (even after a whole year it's still incomprehensible lmao)

Sitting on the cliffside of Starsnatch is not where you intended to be at this time, but your soul crushing guilt and insecurities have led you here. You needed to be away from all the positivity from everyone in Mondstadt. Their kindness was only worsening your mood. Staring over the edge, lost deep inside your head, you almost miss the way the wind whirls around you before you hear the one person you wanted to avoid the most right now.

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Why’d you leave without saying anything? Everyone back at Mond is worried, you know.”

You don’t say anything in response and let Venti walk up and sit next to you. You both stay silent and watch the waves crash onto the beach. Venti occasionally takes glances in your direction, but for the most part his eyes are on the scenery. After a few minutes, he tries asking you again.

“I know you told us that we aren’t overwhelming you, but please, if we actually are-”

“That’s not the reason I left Venti.”

“Then what is it?”

Silence is all that greets him. “Please, we just want you to be comfortable with us. We can’t help if we don’t know.”

Hearing him say that only makes you feel more guilty. They’re all so nice to you, and for what? The pressure and the guilt keeps building and building the more you stay here. Everyone’s been so understanding and kind, but all you’ve done before is use them any which way. You’ve judged them for superficial reasons and have even gotten them killed on numerous occasions. Venti showing up and putting the blame on himself and the others like they’re the reason you left just adds onto your shame as tears start to escape your eyes.

Upon seeing your eyes water, Venti slightly panics. “W-Wait, why are you crying!? I’m sorry for whatever-”

“Venti please stop.”

You turn to look Venti in the eyes, and see the panic and worry etched onto his face. It only makes you feel worse.

“Venti… Why are you here? Why do you keep following me?’ You look away from him, trying to keep from balling on the spot. ‘Why are you so nice to me?”

Hearing this, Venti’s face slowly scrunches in confusion. “What do you mean? Of course, I’m going to be nice to you. Where is this coming from?”

“You were conscious the entire time I was playing. I used you all like you were dolls for my amusement. After I got you, didn’t you feel like I was holding you captive or-or like some sort of toy forced to do my bidding? I don’t understand why no one hates me! I feel so guilty of everything I’ve said and done, but everyone’s apologizing to me like they’re in the wrong, and I don’t get it! Especially you! As the God of Freedom, don’t you hate me for taking away your own freedom from you? I just don’t understand… So why…” Unable to continue, you look away as you try to wipe your eyes and wait for Venti to finally tell you he hates you. That he’s going to stop pretending and get up and leave you alone. In your mind you know he would never, that's not who he is, but fear and anxiety is irrational.

Your breath hitches as you feel his hands land on your cheeks and turn your head to look at him. Instead of the disgust or apathy your heart was expecting, Venti’s face is filled with sorrow.

“I can’t believe you would think so low of me.’ He looks downwards and wipes away a few tears with his thumbs before looking back at you with nothing but care. ‘I guess from your point of view that’s a reasonable assumption to make, but you seem to be forgetting one key detail.”

You stare at him as he proceeds to give you the smuggest look you’ve ever seen on him. “I came home extremely early on my banner, didn’t I?”

What he’s saying doesn’t make any sense to you. He’s already treating you extremely differently than you anticipated, and now his question is putting your already malfunctioning brain into overdrive. What did his banner have to do with anything?

“What? Venti I-I don’t understand. What are you trying to…’ Finally, it all starts to click into place as your eyes widen, and his stupid grin gets larger. ‘You… Did you influence the banner wishes???”

Venti laughs joyously as he lets go of your face. His eyes sparkle like he’s recounting the best moment of his life.

“Why yes, I did! I actually got in a lot of trouble for that! It's part of the reason you lost the next 50/50, but I couldn’t miss the chance to join your team. I refused to wait another second.”

“But why? I still don’t under-”

“I have the freedom to make my own choices, do I not? I wanted to join your team, so I did.”

His expression changes from smug to such a soft look. You have a hard time believing it is being directed at you.

“Why, yes, I may be the God of Freedom, but I’m also simply one of the many characters this game has to offer. I’m one of your many characters in particular. And out of such a colourful cast of individuals, I was your favourite. To be the reason someone even downloaded our game in the first place sends me over the moon. For everyone else, you still give their lives a purpose and have earned everyone’s respect. Sure, you might be a bit crass, but even when you were rude or made a mistake, you still treated everyone with more care than necessary. I especially could feel and hear the level of adoration you had for me through the screen. To me, there’s nothing I want more than to travel by your side for as long as you’ll have me.”

Such a heartwarming and earnest speech from Venti has your eyes start to water again. Not all of your insecurities and guilt have been lifted, you don’t think that kind of guilt will be something you can get rid of, but with Venti here…

“You’re allowed to stay for as long as you want.”

He cups your cheeks again while looking straight into your eyes.

“Then till death do we part, my dear player.”

You break down and cry as Venti pulls you in for a hug. With Venti by your side, you know he’ll help you through your guilt with as much care and love as you’ve given him.

#sagau #self aware genshin #Venti x reader #Genshin x reader #x reader #self-indulgence ftw baby #I don’t know if I’m going to post more of this #If I am I’ll make a header to organize just a little bit #I really love what I have #but I’d need to heavily edit it because what I actually have written down is nigh incomprehensible #Pois.Posts #Pois.Writes

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