#ahsok
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My Asian ass should not be surprised that Dave Filoni would reduce Senator Xiono, the one Asian man in the New Republic Senate, to a straw man caricature who is also "racist" towards droids, but it still does not make it any less infuriating. 💀💀💀
Characters of colour being racists towards fantasy races and species is a trope that needs to die in a fire already.
#leilukin talks ahsoka show#senator xiono#hamato xiono#tv: ahsoka#ch: hamato xiono#anti dave filoni#ahsoka show critical#ahsoks spoilers#also filoni cannot write politics to save his life
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now I get why Sabine wasn’t in mando s3 fighting to retake Mandalore :):):) her whole family died in the Purge and she has no one left to fight for :):):):):):):):):)
#Dave filoni I’m in your walls chewing on your wiring#also. unrelated but SABINE YOU STILL HAVE A FAMILY WHAT ABOUT HERA AND ZEB AND JACEN AND CHOPPER AND AND AND#Star Wars#Ahsoka series#Ahsoka show#ahsok Tano#Ahsoka spoilers#Star Wars Ahsoka#text post#Amanda says stuff#Sabine wren#ursa wren#the mandalorian#mando season 3#the mandalorian season 3
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We are blessed to have these scenes in two years with hayden!Anakin back
We are finally winning
.
.
.
.
(not really, we always lose more emotional stability with each new series)
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Anakin, talking about Padmé: My girlfriend is an angel and makes me want to be a better person.
Maul, talking about Ahsoka: My girlfriend is crazy as fuck and is probably taking me to hell with her but it's alright because I'm already going to hell.
#incorrect clone wars quotes#incorrect clone wars#incorrect star wars rebels#incorrect star wars rebels quotes#anakin skywalker#padme amidala#darth maul#ahsok tano#anidala#maulsoka#source: unknown
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OMG TEMUERA MORRISON IS GONNA PLAY REX IN AHSOKA
I CANT FUCKING BREATHE
IM SO EXCITED
#I NEED IT RN#I CANNOT FUCKING FUNCTION#ahsoks series#captain rex#ahsoka tano#temuera morrison#star wars
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sick and twisted that they'd make leia ask obi wan if hes her real father bc in a way he is?? he was there when she was born he was the first person to hold her and cradle her, not to mention that if anakin hadnt fallen they'd have raised the twins together
#like ahsoke canonically considers obikin as her parents so why wouldnt the twins think the same#stra wars#kenobi#ahsoka*
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Bo being a not so passive agressive oh i love this so much... Now reunite her with Ahsoka already
#bo katan#bo katan kryze#ahsok tano#star wars#the mandalorian#reunite the old sassy women#and to think now ahsoka is the calm one
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cant get over how the owk show is GIVING US EVERYTHING WE EVER WANTED
please please dont stop @disney! please cast these two in a clone wars show or force ghost show, at the very least both show up in Ahsoka, i'm begging you, Mouse, please.....
#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#star wars#ewan mcgregor#hayden christensen#all sw fans want is new cool stuff and 10 trillion things with anakin and obiwan in them... the universal constant!#ahsoka#ahsok tano#galaxy's edge#disney#dlf
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So I finished Clone Wars last night
And
Uh
My fucking heart???? Was ripped into pieces and set on fire????
I watched the series with various people, and we usually would kinda joke and talk a little during the episodes. It was dead silence pretty much the entire time, especially the last episode 😥
I can see why there are so many die hard fans, literally just...that's now the third time I've cried at a Star Wars thing. I cried watching Rogue One, I cried watching the Fives Arc of Clone Wars, and then I've cried at the finale of Clone Wars.
I was critically emotionally damaged last night 😥
#personal#star wars#star wars clone wars spoilers#star wars clone wars#literally cried#ahsoka tcw#ahsoke tano#rex
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HKHAKOSDAJ CONGRATS TO EDEN FOHRO BIENGHEH THE PRPIREISIT II PHRPEIIRITIEISITTIP IRE
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Obi-Wan Kenobi is an introvert; though lucky enough to be surrounded by people he is always pleased to see he is, at his core, a private man who needs quiet solitude and to revel in his own space as regularly as possible to recharge after the long periods of constant company and communication life has forced him into.
He is also, a complete sucker for his Padawans.
Who did not get the memo.
---
General Obi-Wan Kenobi leant his head against the duratile of his small fresher shower and let the warmish water wash over him, over aching bones and dirty hair, dripping gently down his face washing the grime and pain of the battle down the drain.
It had been a hard one. A long, gruelling fight to save people who didn’t seem to realise they’d been saved.
What was the point? He just wanted to lie down and meditate and wait for tomorrow to start.
Thud.
He paused his rapidly spiralling thoughts and increasingly vigorous scrubbing at the shuffling and banging noises from his tiny cabin.
He rolled his eyes fondly. His former Padawan was not a quiet person.
“One minute, I’m in the shower!” He called, increasing the speed of his washing and reaching for the shampoo.
“Master?” he heard over the noise of the rapidly cooling water.
“I’m in the shower!” he called back, louder this time. Perhaps Anakin would put the kettle on whilst he waited? Or maybe even open a bottle of something-
“Hey Obi-Wan”
The Jedi Master was not particularly proud of the noise he made as the door swooshed open and he heard his former Padawan’s greeting much too close for comfort.
“GAAHNAKIN!” he all but shrieked, simultaneously dropping the sponge and banging his elbow on the wall. “Ow! Kark!” he yelped.
“Oh sorry” came the blasé response “Should’ve knocked” the young man admitted casually, and Obi-Wan heard the scrape of the fresher stool being moved over his thudding heartbeat.
“Anyway, was wondering if you might be up for a bit of sparring after dinner? I feel like Ahsok-“
“Anakin!” the irate Jedi Master barked, and finally popped his head tightly round the shower curtain, fixing his former student and former best friend with a furious glare through the suds slowly making their way into his eyes.
“What the blazes do you think you are doing?” he demanded. He looked down at the rest of the curtain, tightly held to the wall from his neck down. “I’m in the shower!” he said incredulously.
“Oh yeah but I just-“
“The shower!!” the composed Jedi Master all but shouted in disbelief, well aware his voice was getting slightly higher.
“Right…” the nonchalant young man was comfortably sitting on the stool, not a care for his poor Master’s dignity, or privacy.
For some reason baffling to Obi-Wan, he was looking at the irate older man with surprise.
“So do you want me to…?”
“GET. OUT.”
“Alright! Alright! Jeeze no need to be so touchy about it” Anakin straightened up, holding his hands up in surrender.
“Boundaries Padawan, for the love of Force, BOUNDARIES!”
The irritating, maddening Jedi Knight picked up the pace and opened the refresher door, barely managing to avoid the bar of soap aimed at his head as his Master punctuated his words with a projectile.
There was a beat of silence. Blessed silence. Until:
“So we’ll talk in a bit then?” Came through gloriously muffled through the door.
Obi-Wan once again rested his head on the wall, cursing himself, the Force and everything, as the water heater finally gave up and showered him with icy water.
“Yes, we’ll talk in a bit” he confirmed, sighing at the Universe and grabbing a towel.
---
“…Doing with your leave?”
Obi-Wan hadn’t realised he’d tuned his dear Commander out until he caught the end of his optimistic question.
“Oh I’m rather looking forward to a spot of relative peace and quiet I think” the tired Jedi Master replied, swinging his old canvas bag onto his shoulders and standing up as the transport docked at the Temple.
“Well you’ve earned it General” Woolley nodded at him with an encouraging smile.
Obi-Wan felt his smile turn just a touch more genuine and he turned to his men, waiting for him to depart.
“We all have” he said, as he turned to exit the transport.
The battle-weary Jedi closed his eyes, taking in the hustle and bustle of the Temple hanger, hanging back whilst the 501st transport docked behind him.
Sure enough, his smile was widening not five minutes later when Ahsoka bounced excitedly down the ramp, Anakin following behind with his characteristic confident smirk in place.
“Master Obi-Wan!”
His heart swelled as he suddenly found himself with the wind almost knocked out of him and a happy Torguta apparently trying to squeeze the life out of him.
“Hi Master”
Anakin waited patiently for Ahsoka to let the older man go, and when she turned her hug for her Grandmaster into a deep bow for a senior council member, Anakin leaned in and grasped his friends forearms in greeting, before doing the same.
Obi-Wan gave a shallower bow of his own to them both with a wide grin.
“It is so good to see you my Padawans” he said warmly, giving his Grandpadawan a wink as Anakin opened his mouth to give a familiar retort.
“Not your Pada-“
“Ahsoka dear please do stop growing, you’re making me feel old” he interrupted the traditional refrain from his former Padawan
“You are old” Anakin grinned at him and clapped him on the shoulder. “Come on Snips, lets dump our stuff before de-brief.” He instructed, picking up his and his own Padawan’s packs and falling into step with his Master, heading towards the Temple main.
“Uh, Skyguy, you er…you know, remember about that thing?” Ahsoka asked slightly breathlessly as she strode next to the two older Jedi with a tilt of her head in reminder.
Obi-Wan quirked an eyebrow. Since leaving their shared flat to embark on life as a Knight, and then moving Ahsoka in, the tales of Anakin’s living situation had periodically horrified or amused his old Master.
Anakin stopped in his tracks, grimacing.
“Oh kark”
“Language – What’s wrong?” Obi-Wan asked, the reprimand automatically exiting his mouth almost subconsciously.
“Er…”
The Master’s eyes narrowed as the other man dithered sheepishly.
“Our flat’s being fumigated” Ahsoka chirped cheerfully, prompting a grimace from her Master.
Obi-Wan stared at them for a very long moment.
“I don’t think I want to know” he decided, turning around and continuing to walk down the corridor and away from his Padawan’s nonsense.
“So what’s the plan Skyguy?” he heard Ahsoka ask innocently as the pair again sprung into life and followed after him.
“Right just let me think”
“Hey, we can just stay with Master Obi-Wan!”
Master Obi-Wan ground to a screeching halt.
He hoped he managed to cover the mildly alarmed noise he inadvertently made. Turning back to them both he was greeted with enthusiastic nodding and a big grin from his energetic Grandpadawan, and large pleading eyes from his fully grown idiot best friend.
“Yeah c’mon it’ll be so much fun!” Ahsoka was clearly warming to the idea. “We can make Kenobi Surprise, and watch the racing, and play Sabacc!” she suggested excitedly.
“I..well…” Obi-Wan didn’t know quite what to say in the face of such delight.
“Would that be OK Obi-Wan? Just for a bit” Anakin met his eyes reluctantly, genuinely asking permission.
The tired and slightly battered Master took a deep breath in through his nose. There really was only one answer.
He smiled.
“Of course, I’d be delighted to have you both” he said, patting his friend on the arm and chuckling as Ahsoka punched the air.
“Aw yeah this is gonna be awesome!”
Peace and quiet was overrated anyway.
---
‘Conference room, ASAP.’
Obi-Wan looked up from his book and his tea when the chirp of the commlink disrupted his medic-mandated fifteen-minute break. He was now to take one every three hours and as much as he was loathe to admit it, they were doing wonders for his productivity and inner calm.
Except when he received emergency summons, obviously.
His stomach dropped as he read Anakin’s message again and scenarios instantly began filling his head.
New orders? An attack? He didn’t hear any sirens, so they weren’t being ambushed thank the Force. But really anything could be happening, and here he was ‘taking a break’!
Cursing he clumsily tugged on his boots, running fingers through his hair whilst simultaneously pulling on his belt.
He made it to the Negotiator’s conference room in record time, barely waiting for the doors to open before rushing inside.
Where he came to a sudden, confused stop.
“Oh hey Master”
“Hi Master Obi-Wan”
There in the main conference room, sat Anakin and Ahsoka. Both with their eyes fixed on a holoscreen showing some kind of learning module and sharing a bowl of Ahsoka’s favourite cured meat chunks. They would have made a rather cute scene under different circumstances.
“What?” Obi-Wan asked, bewildered, the wind rapidly leaving his sails.
This is not look like an emergency.
“Are you alright Master?” Ahsoka asked, eyes widening in concern her Grandmaster’s flustered and harried state.
“Anakin, you sent me a message?” he demanded, fixing his former student with a piercing look.
“Oh uh…yeah I mean, we were just talking about Force Theory. Thought you might have some ideas.” Anakin answered, wearily looking at his confused Master.
“Yeah do you think you’d use the Living Force or the Unifying Force to breathe in Space? Theoretically.” Ahsoka asked imploringly.
Obi-Wan stared at them both.
“What?” he asked again, less sharp and now genuinely baffled at the randomness of the question.
“Yeah it just seemed like something you would know about” Anakin answered casually, about to turn back to the holoscreen. Apparently “helping” Ahsoka with her Force Philosophy module.
“I don’t…”
The Jedi Master summoned the words, and the strength, for the conversation.
“You said it was urgent?” he said weakly, still rather discombobulated by the jarring change of pace.
Anakin looked at him surprised.
“Oh no I just meant you should come here when you can, you know, as soon as it’s possible.” He explained casually.
Obi-Wan stared at him, resisting the urge to run a hand through his hair.
“You said ASAP!” he ground out.
“Yeah, ‘as soon as it’s possible’!” the young man said defensively “not like, right now!”
This time Obi-Wan did run a hand through his hair, taking a very long deep breath.
“Unbelievable! Anakin I just dropped everything, I was in the middle of-“ he faltered. “You can’t do that!” he snapped.
Ahsoka was now looking at him worriedly.
“Sorry Master Obi-Wan, we didn’t mean it.” She said contritely and seemed to dither in the face of her Grandmaster’s displeasure.
She pulled the chair beside her out from under the table.
“…you wanna join?” she asked, timidly.
“Yeah sorry Master, didn’t mean to make you panic” Anakin joined in, the tiniest of tiny smirks tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“I didn’t panic” Obi-Wan muttered, well aware how sulkily it sounded.
“C’mon Master, take a seat. You really need to relax” he instructed cockily.
Obi-Wan nearly hit him.
But he took the offered seat all the same. He was here now, after all.
#obi-wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#ahsoka tanno#snippet of nothing#one big happy jedi family#best mates in space#obi-wan fanfic#disaster liniage#Nobody respects#the personal bubble
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Imagine if Shaak Ti became obi wan and Anakin's new master, so instead of Obi wan getting promoted and having to bear knuckle raising a kid, a mature master could give more sensible and parental guidance. It could even help give Anakin's relationship with Ahsoka more meaning as it could be symbolic as Anakin becoming mature as Shaak Ti and Ahsoka already look similar. Along with them being the same species Shaak Ti could act as a grandma/female role model to Ahsoka and give more lore to the Togruta species to help give Ahsoka more independence of the order. Finally having a more out of touch female character would have rounded out the clone wars a little more than it already was and could lead to sensible but entertaining antics as well.
Ahsoka: "Master, Are we poisonous?" She said leaning in through the door.
Shaak Ti, Meditating: "Venomous, but why would you need to -"
Anakin, Stumbling in: "Ahsoker, I'm finen." He said, before promptly falling face first a foot from Shaak Ti.
Ahsoka: ...
Shaak Ti: "I'll call the medical wing."
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I loved to see World between Worlds in live action, but I'd be lying to you all if I didn't say that my exact reaction was
" Is that the world between worlds?? It's so pretty and... Ahsoka??? Ahsoka Tano where are you?? Ahsok- OH IT'S THE! oh...oh no-
The world between worlds. It's- It's the world between worlds
GIRL DON'T TELL ME YOU REALLY DIED AGAIN PLEASE NO AHSOKA WTF, NOT THIS AGAIN UGH"
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Siemka
Jakoś po 5 nad ranem obudził mnie Koperek. Gryzł mnie po prostu 🤷🏼♀️ caaaały głodny!
Nakarmiłam uszaki. Jerry nadal jest na mnie obrażony za wczorajsze skubanie. Tupie na mnie jak tylko na niego spojrzę 😅😅😅
Sąsiadkę, którą nazywamy „babka” dziś dała mi największy komplement ever. Stoimy przy płocie i konwersujemy sobie. Nagle babcia tak patrzy na mój zagon z rzodkiewką, cukinią oraz fasolką i mówi „u mnie nie kwitnie… Później ode mnie posadziłaś fasolkę a już ci kwietnie! Masz rękę do roślin!” A tak mnie strofowała, że a to za gęsto, a to już jak się sadzonki pojawiły to jak przesadzę to nic z tego nie będzie… albo, że za dużo posiałam
Pomidorki pięknie dojrzewają. Generalnie ogród ma się dobrze. Zwierzaki też.
Koperek w najlepsze atakuje wszystko co się rusza (albo i nie). Najbardziej upodobał się rzucanie się na Gryzia. „Przytula go” po czym gryzie i kopie. Ofiara przemocy domowej tylko stoi w szoku i daje się maltretować. Dopóki go nie zaboli. Wtedy pokazuje zęby.
Rudziś zaś bardzo chętnie wychodzi na podwórko. Kica, podgryza zielone i nawet deszcz jej nie przeszkadza.
Tajson i Zezol również wydają się zadowolone. Zezol dziś schowała się za drzwiami w kącie i nawoływała nas. W jakim celu? Nie mam pojęcia
Pogoda dziś nie zachęcała do spacerów. Ciagle padało, były nawet dwie burze. Malowałam dziś na gotowo kuchnie zaś tata wojował z elektryką i podłączaniem indukcji. Efekt jest taki, że kuchnia jest gotowa i rodzice się wprowadzili na czas remontu ich pokoi
Wygląda to ładnie. Zmywarka, piec oraz indukcja śmigają. Zaś starą instalacje uj strzelił xD w łazience, pokoju taty (gdzie ostatnio urzędowali) oraz w pokoju mamy (który okupuje) nie ma prądu. Miałam dziś romantyczną kąpiel w świetle tealighta xDDD teraz zaś pisze ten post w kuchni bo ładuje mi się telefon. Generalnie wesoło :) j
Dziś zjadłam połowę frytek ze zdjęcia. Wjechała też kawa z mlekiem w odjechanej szklance
Jak wspomniałam niemal cały dzień padało. Ja zaś malowałam kuchnie oraz skończyłam w końcu czytać Ahsoke po polsku. Zaczęłam zaś Czarną Madonnę Mrożą
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Fic: Negative Space [Ahsoka Tano/Hera Syndulla]
Title: Negative Space
Fandom: Star Wars, Ahsoka (TV)
Characters/Pairing: Ahsoka/Hera
Rating: T
Word Count: 2,749
Summary:
Hera watches Ahsoka meditate and reflects upon what she's learned about her since the end of the War — and how their relationship has evolved over the years.
No big spoilers for the show. It's just we're three episodes in and the way these idiots look at each other is making me go absolutely feral.
Written for prompt #1 "Friends to lovers" of @tropetember
AO3 LINK
Ahsoka sits cross-legged in front of the viewport, but Hera knows she's not looking at the stars outside.
Her eyes are closed, her back straight in a way it never is when she's sitting just to sit. Her hands rest on her knees and she's so still and quiet Hera can count several heartbeats between the slight movements of Ahsoka's chest as she breathes in an out.
Hera knows Ahsoka is both there and not there at the same time. She's there but she's off somewhere else, too, in the Force or with the Force or within the Force. Watching her meditate always reminds Hera of the day Sabine showed her a painting that was both a vase and the profile of two people at the same time. Negative space.
Knowing Ahsoka, Hera thinks, is a lot like learning to see negative space.
Ahsoka is not a Jedi and she's not a Sith. She's the negative space around them both. She's more what she's not than what she is, and Hera is well aware she'd never be able to explain this to someone else in a way that makes sense, but then she figures she'll never have to. She'll never want to. It's for her alone to know and understand.
It's the knowledge that Ahsoka could be peeking into her thoughts right now. Could be combing through Hera's feelings and even changing them and Hera would never know. It's the absolute certainty that Ahsoka never has, and never will, cross that line. She could, but she won't. And that's what Hera admires. What makes her stare sometimes, like right now, in awe of the Togruta sitting just a few steps away from her, is not what she does. It's what she doesn't do.
And that was it, really, at first. When the war ended and it felt like the Universe itself had turned into negative space around the holes where planets and fleets and friends and love used to be. When Ahsoka would show up out of nowhere, quiet and stoic, and force Hera to feel something other than loss for a little while. Ahsoka let her cry. She let her laugh. She let her fill up with the kind of anger that would've pushed anyone else away. She let her sleep, keeping Jacen calm in a way Hera suspected had a lot to do with both of them sharing a connection through the Force. She let her heal.
Ahsoka didn't heal her. She didn't take the pain and the loss and the nightmares and hid them in a dark corner of Hera's mind with a gentle wave of her hand. Not even when Hera asked her to — not even when she begged, when desperation turned into rage and blame and accusations she flung at Ahsoka with a venom she never thought she'd be capable of. Ahsoka didn't even bring that up later, when the rage was gone and Hera would've listened. She remained there, not doing any of those things. Being the space Hera needed to heal.
And then she became something else.
Not a friend. Sabine was her friend. Chopper was her friend. Ahsoka was not her friend. They didn't have friendly, light-hearted conversations, they didn't share drinks, they didn't have inside jokes. She knew Ahsoka and Ahsoka knew her and their bond — because there was one — was as quiet as Ahsoka when she meditates. It was made of shared silences. Shared spaces. It meant leaving sometimes, and watching Ahsoka leave. Days and weeks and months seeing only holograms of each other but knowing with absolute, unwavering certainty that they'd cross galaxies in the blink of an eye to be there if the other needed them.
Hera'd never felt the Force, but she imagined it must feel a bit like whatever she shared with Ahsoka. Something that was in her and around her and with her. Within her. Something invisible but present. Something you couldn't touch but you could feel, somehow. It was complicated. She couldn't explain it, but she didn't have to because she knew Ahsoka understood. And that was enough.
Until it wasn't.
Until Ahsoka's presence started rattling her instead of grounding her. Until she suddenly saw the profiles instead of the vase — saw what she wanted from Ahsoka instead of what she had — and she couldn't make herself go back to looking at the picture the way she used to before.
She'd been watching her meditate for a while. Minutes, maybe. Maybe hours. There was something unnerving about being so restless when Ahsoka was so at peace. Was she at peace? Maybe she wasn't. Maybe she felt just as off-kilter as Hera did and meditating was her way of dealing with it. Of reeling it in. Of keeping herself steady on her feet.
"Ahsoka." Hera never interrupted her. Not ever. It was part of their non-friendship, respecting each other's spaces and silences. She knew those moments were important for Ahsoka, as not-a-Jedi. But she couldn't help herself.
Ahsoka was there but wasn't, and she didn't immediately respond to Hera's voice. She didn't respond at all, actually, which only gave Hera a few extra seconds to think about the situation they were in (she was in, to be perfectly honest) and made that uncomfortable feeling lodged somewhere in her chest become even more noticeable.
"Ahsoka." A little louder this time. She saw the Togruta's blue eyes open in the reflection on the viewport.
Ahsoka moved slowly. Like she wasn't fully there just yet and her body was just going through the motions without her. It was hard to believe this was the same person Hera had seen fight countless times, all explosive strength and quick reflexes, lightsabers flowing around her like an extension of her arms. She arched one of her eyebrows in silent question, and Hera's determination wavered for a second.
"I want— I need to talk to you."
Ahsoka's posture relaxed in an almost imperceptible way. Hera knew to take it as an invitation to keep talking.
"I've been thinking." And for the first time since those first months after the War ended, Hera considered asking Ahsoka to just read her mind and put her out of her misery. "About you— well, about me. About us. About this."
This.
"I—" There was something in Ahsoka's eyes. A spark of something. It made Hera immediately aware of just much she didn't want to talk about it, actually. So she stood up from her chair. "I'm going to bed."
It had been a terrible idea. A momentary lapse of judgment. They were fine. Not friends. Not friends and not not friends. Something in the negative space between being everything and being friends. But they were fine. They were—
"Hera." She'd only taken a few steps away from Ahsoka, so the Togruta didn't have to raise her voice to get her attention and stop her in her tracks. "Talk to me."
"I want to kiss you," she blurted out because that was the gist of it, she figured. That was what kept running through her head. What kept her tossing and turning in her bunk instead of getting a good night's rest. What was consuming every rational thought. She wanted to kiss Ahsoka. She wanted to kiss and touch and feel her so much she was starting to lose sight of the line between want and need.
Ahsoka stayed where she was. Quiet and stoic and beautiful and something else. Not surprised. Not angry. Not happy. Something else.
"I'm—" Hera started, and then stopped herself because an apology would have been a lie and they never lied to each other. She wasn't sorry. She was something else. "I'm going to bed."
Ahsoka didn't stop her that time.
And she wasn't there in the morning.
It wasn't the first time Ahsoka disappeared. Sometimes she let Hera know she'd be leaving beforehand, sometimes she didn't. Sometimes they talked right away, and sometimes they didn't. This time they didn't. But this time was different, and the knowledge that something had changed between them — that things may never be the same — occupied Hera's thoughts every second she wasn't focusing on a mission instead. She counted the hours and then the days and the weeks without hearing from Ahsoka and every night she found it harder to fall asleep.
"Hera."
Ahsoka's voice reached her in her sleep and pulled her back to consciousness so gently Hera wondered whether her Force abilities had been involved. If she'd been any less surprised to see Ahsoka in her quarters in the middle of the night after weeks of silence, she probably would have asked.
"What—?"
"I've seen what attachment can do to a Jedi." Ahsoka shook her head slightly, almost as if she was trying to jostle her thoughts into place. "I've seen what love can do to a Jedi. The fear of losing the person you love, I've seen what it can do to a great Jedi. To the best Jedi. To the ones he loved. To— to the galaxy itself. I've seen how much destruction it can bring."
There was a disconnect somewhere. They were looking at the same picture but seeing different things, because Ahsoka talked about destruction and fear and darkness so deep it seemed to surround her as she spoke, but all Hera felt when she thought about her feelings for Ahsoka was warmth and light and the faintest glimmer of hope after so much loss. And the distance between them suddenly seemed too large to bridge.
"I can't risk that. I can't risk you." Ahsoka's eyes widened as if her own words had surprised her, and she took one step back, away from the bunk where Hera was still struggling to put every piece of this surreal situation together in her head. "I can't."
It took four days for Ahsoka to appear again after she left Hera's quarters. She marched into the room with all the determination of a woman on a mission, strides long and feet hitting the floor so firmly Hera was surprised when ripples didn't appear on the surface of her tea.
"Fear leads to anger," she said by way of greeting, cryptic as only a former Jedi who's no Jedi can be, "do you understand?"
Hera left her mug on the desk and turned her chair around so she could fully look at the woman in front of her.
"No, Ahsoka." Hera was a bit tired. A bit tired of waiting and wondering and being kept in the dark about whatever Ahsoka had been thinking of since Hera's confession. "I don't understand."
"Fear," Ahsoka repeated, as if a more clear enunciation would help bring Hera up to speed, "leads to anger. To hate. To suffering. To the—" Ahsoka took a step forward, placed her hands on the arm rests of Hera's chair, and in just a second got closer to Hera than she'd ever been before.
"It's fear," she said, voice barely above a whisper and body firmly in Hera's personal space, "and love— you can't love without fear."
Ahsoka looked so sure of herself, so firm in her belief that she'd found a way to explain whatever jumble of thoughts was in her head to Hera, that Hera almost felt bad when she simply refused to go along with it.
"Of course you can," she simply said, punctuating her words with a slight shrug to really drive her point home, "I'm not afraid."
"But you—"
"I'm not afraid." Hera covered one of Ahsoka's hands with her own and let the unspoken words in the negative space around her lack of fear — the silent implication that she loved Ahsoka — sink in for the woman in front of her.
It took several heartbeats for Ahsoka to speak again, and when she did there was something in her eyes that made Hera feel like she was looking through a window into the past.
"Once you love someone you can lose them."
"I know," Hera said, and the look in Ahsoka's eyes told her she knew exactly who Hera was thinking of.
"How can you not be afraid?"
For a second, Ahsoka wasn't the formidable warrior Hera had come to know and respect. She wasn't one of the last Temple-trained Jedi in the Galaxy. She wasn't a fighter, a hero, a rebel leader, or a veteran of many wars. She was the empty spaces left behind by everything she'd gone through to become all those things. And Hera had never loved her more.
"Because it's worth it," she simply said, free hand moving to cup Ahsoka's cheek, "Because I know love, and I know loss. And love is worth all the pain."
"If anything happened to y—"
"It won't." Hera leaned forward, let her nose gently brush against Ahsoka's as she turned her head to press a kiss to the corner of the Togruta's mouth. Ahsoka looked like she felt the weight of the Galaxy on her shoulders, and Hera was ready to lighten it up. "Because I'm General Hera Syndulla," another kiss, to Ahsoka's lips this time, lingering even if Ahsoka's slight smile made kissing her trickier than it should have been, "and I'm the best pilot in the Galaxy."
"That's debatable," Ahsoka murmured against Hera's lips, tone lighter already, teasing as she moved forward and rested one knee on the seat of Hera's chair. "But you do have Chopper to fill in the gaps."
Hera chuckled, something light and quiet and cut short by the press of Ahsoka's lips against hers.
Ahsoka kissed a lot like how she fought. She kissed confident and graceful and bold. She kissed Hera until her brain and lungs were empty and her heart full to the brim, and when she pulled away and Hera took in a much-needed breath Ahsoka looked into her eyes and stole it all over again.
"If I feel myself turning towards—"
"You won't." Hera gave Ahsoka's hand a gentle squeeze and pressed her free hand to Ahsoka's chest, right above her heart. She had no doubt Ahsoka knew things Hera could never even hope to imagine. She knew Ahsoka saw and felt things only a very select few could. But Hera knew Ahsoka's heart.
"If I do," Ahsoka insisted, serious enough that Hera understood what she needed was to feel like there was a plan in place, and not to hear that Hera didn't believe they needed one at all, "I'll disappear. I won't put you or Jacen in danger. I won't put anyone in danger."
Hera nodded. Let herself consider it as a possibility, because she knew that was what Ahsoka needed from her. And then she kissed her again, slow and deep until she could barely manage to whisper the words.
"I'm not afraid."
And now, here they are. Here she is. In love with a woman who's not a Jedi and not a Sith and not her friend and not her lover. Something else. Something bigger than all that. Something unexplainable. Something she doesn't particularly want to explain.
"I can feel you staring." Ahsoka tries to keep her voice even, but Hera can feel the smile right there in the spaces between the words.
"Oh, I wasn't hiding. I'm not ashamed of my staring."
Ahsoka lets out a breath that sounds almost like a chuckle as she stands up and turns away from the viewport to look at Hera instead.
"How was the mission?"
"Good," Hera shrugs, "easy," she extends one of her hands towards Ahsoka and smiles when she immediately takes it and walks closer to Hera, "very long."
"Hm," Ahsoka hums her agreement, warm fingers already making their way under the hem of Hera's shirt, "two weeks. Not the longest, but—"
"Long enough," Hera finishes for her, and Ahsoka smiles.
"Stay over." Ahsoka's hand climbs up, up, up under Hera's shirt, fingertips counting her ribs one by one until they reach the underside of Hera's right breast and her breath catches in her throat. "I have to leave tomorrow. A week. At least."
It's what Ahsoka doesn't do. What she doesn't say. What she doesn't ask for. But Hera hears her anyway.
"I'm not afraid," she reminds her, like she's been doing before and after every mission for over two years now, and kisses her until the worried crinkle on her forehead disappears.
Ahsoka looks into her eyes, quiet and stoic. Not a Jedi, not a Sith, not her friend, not her lover, but hers anyway.
"Neither am I."
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