#alastair pov... i would like to see it

[bellamybellamyblake]

When the Sun Sets - Part 3

In-Between

Characters:

morgan winchester (OC), sam winchester, dean winchester, alastair

Summary:

the winchesters after the death of the middle child. oh, and hell.

Warnings (for entire story):

SPN typical violence, so so much suppressing of emotions, vague mention of SA, depiction of torture, a very pro-torture main character, vague mention of not eating for a while, slightly suicidal ideation, SPN typical alcohol abuse, spoiler warning up to the end of season 8, following canon stops after the end of season 2, but things are definitely going to be mentioned.

Word Count:

2.1k ~ roughly

A/N:

ahhh this one, i love this one. trigger warning for torture. POV switches a few times.

italics = flashback.

dean: 28, morgan: 27, sam: 24

It was all too much.

"I'm not gonna let you go to Hell, Mo!" Sam, the middle Winchester, said as his tears betrayed him.

Morgan wouldn't let them save her. She didn't even let them try. After what felt like a lifetime of them protecting her, she wouldn't accept any more of it. Sam and Dean Winchester used every outlet, read every book they could find twice and called every hunter they knew to find some way to get her out of this with no luck. Their last ditch effort, was doomed to end just end the way they dreaded the most; with the middle child being scratched and ripped to shreds by hellhounds.

She made a deal with the devil. Now her fate was sealed.

“Yes, you are.”

One shot.

The old grandfather clock struck midnight and marked the close of a year, bringing the siblings to silence. It was an earthquake confined to the small room and Dean wasn't positive, but he thought he could see the sound waves as they pulsed and thumped. He could feel them in his bones, leaving them shattered in their wake. He felt his stomach rise up to his throat at the pang. He couldn't control the way his heart started to pound, like it would explode out of his chest.

The demon was next to his sister, and expressed her sympathies, but Morgan couldn't peel her eyelids up to look at her. Eyes the color of the sky had filled with tears, sticking to her lashes. He knew that if she blinked, they'd fall, and the fallacy she'd created - that this case was just a run-of-the-mill salt and burn - would be destroyed.

Then, when she flinched without warning, he knew she was hearing them. Fatal and hungry. Her voice broke through the tauntingly ominous quiet, and somehow it's worse than the damn clock.

“Hellhounds.”

Another one.

Morgan's voice was familiar to her brothers, but it was deeper than usual. Full of gravel, and it lacked the authority it usually held. It was hollow and horse and full of fear, something Sam and Dean didn't want to hear from their sister again. Sam's face was nearly a replica when he spoke, asking how she could hear it, and where it was coming from.

Then they were running. Doing everything they could to get her away from the dogs that wanted to pull her soul from her body piece by piece, atom by atom, back to Hell with them for eternal damnation. They made it into a small office, Sam, Ruby and Morgan holding the door shut, keeping the hounds out while Dean put a barrier line on the floor and windows so they couldn't get in right away. It was a futile effort, maybe it would buy them a few seconds, but it wasn't fucking enough.

The bourbon slid down his throat, smooth and warm, a burn that matched the sting in his eyes. The tears threatened to fall as he let out a shaky exhale and tried to breathe past the tightening in his throat. No matter what he did, no matter how much he drank, nothing would free him from the memory. He knew it wasn't going away, but he was determined to keep at it until he couldn't remember his sister's name anymore.

Morgan's screams echoed through their ears, pulsing and tearing at them again and again until it hurts their own vocal cords. They stared, not making a sound, just watching their sister get torn apart until she couldn't breathe. Until they couldn't breathe. Dean thought that, maybe in some corner of reality, Sam was saying something but his pleas continue to go ignored. Dean could only sit with his knees to the floor - and not just because Lilith wasn't letting him move.

Her blood was everywhere; the floor, the walls, some on his legs. The clatter of a knife hitting the floor went unnoticed. The youngest Winchester's cries as he held the motionless body didn't exist.

There was nothing except the ringing in Dean's ears.

There was nothing but a body that was getting cold and he couldn't tell if it was Morgan's or his.

Who the hell cares how long ago it was? There were some things time couldn't heal. And even Dean couldn’t deny that the past was harder to deal with when the sun sets.

The bartender gave him an incredulous gaze as he motioned for more, it was a look that told him he was probably close to finishing the bottle. A look he had been getting a lot lately. He wanted to retort rudely but even the alcohol couldn't weaken his exceptional ability to keep his mouth shut.

A brush of red hair suddenly entered his peripheral vision. He turned to see a woman, probably twenty-nine or thirty, definitely not much older or younger than him. She wore a sleeveless red flannel tied up at her ribs, denim shorts with the pockets sticking out at the front that barely left anything to the imagination, a light brown cowboy hat with matching boots and a belt. Practically every other redneck chick ever, Dean thought, but I'm not complaining.

Dean sat a bit confused for a moment when the girl didn't say anything. She just stood there, right next to him, too close - in an under-crowded bar no less - to pretend she didn't have any intentions. He guessed that the blonde was trying to put together a coherent pick-up line before she spoke. When she finally decided to talk, her words were kind of slurred together and very accented, but not too much where the eldest Winchester was worried about taking advantage. If anything, he rationalized, I'm drunker. He practically grew up drinking, given his family, and learned how to handle booze early on.

"What's a guy like you doin' in a place like this?"

"It took you two 'n a half minutes to come up with that? What are you? A guy?"

"Hey," She chuckled. "Gimme a break, been drinkin' a bit."

Dean eyed her up and down a second time, making it blatantly obvious he was checking her out. He hummed and nodded, silently giving the girl his approval. "Clearly."

The woman wasn't really clean, with dirt under her chipped finger nails that suggested she didn't ever wash her hands. There was a sheen of soot all over her exposed skin. Which there was a lot of, but again, he was not complaining. She kind of looked gross if Dean had anything to say about it. But she had a nice enough face and she was his type on paper: skinny with an ass, curly hair.

Plus, it wasn't like he hadn't gone a week without showering before. And come to think of it, that had become way less rare over the past few months.

So who was he to judge?

Sam Winchester used to give his siblings a hard time for how much they drank. But honestly? He got it now. As he had his mouth to Ruby's wrist, guzzling down her blood for the fourth time that night, he wondered why he didn't try it sooner. Well, he knew why. Because the thought of ingesting demon blood was foreign to just about everyone. It made him feel alive, helped him forget. Or it at least distracted him enough to the point where couldn't even begin to think about it. Kept his ass from bouncing off the walls when thinking about his sister or the last time he saw Dean became too much. 

He hadn't seen Dean in months, and he almost didn't want to. The two of them were so far removed from each other that by that point, he didn't know how to break the ice. He didn't know if Dean even wanted him to.

He was stuck, picturing Morgan tied up, being tortured, because of him. Because she just had to go and save him. There was nothing he could do about it anymore. There was no getting her out of Hell. He had already tried to make a deal, and he didn't even have to wonder if Dean did too. There was nothing the Winchester brothers wouldn't do for their sister. But the sheer fact that there wasn't anything left for them to try was enough to keep him locked in that fucked up cycle with Ruby.

Hook up with her, drink her blood, kill some demons, increase his skill, repeat.

What else could he do?

Morgan Winchester was dead. She didn't know exactly for how many Earth years, but in Hell time, it'd been six thousand.

The first forty years were doable, being strung up on the rack was doable. The whips, her fingernail's being torn off, the knives slowly cutting away at her. She could handle it. She could even handle the psychological torture, having her hallucinate her siblings and parents, coming in and telling her what they truly thought of her. All things she had already known, and had already believed. But it was when they upped the anti, that she started to crack. It was when demons started doing all of that and more as her family. When they stopped using tools and started using their hands, she had truly begun to break. There was another fifteen years of that.

And when she finally gave up, it had become her job to do it to someone else.

Alastair was a damn good teacher, she had to give it to him. He had been the one to torture her, and he basked in the glory of turning a Winchester into a demon. It took about three thousand more Hell years, but she finally finished the program. Two thousand tortured souls under her belt to her teacher's satisfaction.

Demons started torturing to avoid being tortured themselves. They were the result of going to Hell and having all humanity burned out of their human soul. They were dark, malicious spirits that reveled in pain, chaos and death. Ruby had told Morgan that most demons forgot what it meant to be human. Some even forget that they were humans in the first place. She had learned some demons were true believers, though, in Hell's purpose. To cleanse. And they truly believed themselves morally superior to humans.

But after another thousand years, she started having fun.

She had only wished that by the time she was down there and playing her latest game on the next soul, she could've gotten the chance to torture her father. Get her grimy hands on his skin and tear it off of him cell by cell. Then she heard Sam was down there, too, and she would've been upset, had she not known he was locked up in the cage with Lucifer. She knew she was good at her job, but compared Lucifer and Michael? Even as a demon, her ego hadn't grown that big.

And then she got to pick her own name, and all bets were off.

On Earth, Adriadne had never seen a demon's true form. Now down in the pit, where they roamed freely and carelessly, she didn't flinch at the sight of them. When her soul had started changing, becoming stickier, malleable, and black, she almost second guessed her decision to get off the rack. But at the same time, her memories of her time on Earth were starting to fade. They started twisting into her memories of being tortured - becoming one in the same.

Recently, she had heard a few more things. One; that Dean Winchester, someone she couldn't quite put her finger on, was in purgatory with an angel. Two; that Crowley was not only the king of Hell, but he was granting certain demons passage to Earth for a little joyride upstairs. Three; that he was restoring their old bodies, if in decent enough shape.

Eventually, Adriadne, no longer remembered her real name. Adriadne was who she is, was and what she would always be, for the rest of time. Where there used to be normal human eyes there was only darkness. No pupil, no cornea, no whites of the eyes; everything was just black.

She did remember there were people on Earth that used to love her, and she remembered the physical aspects to being human. Having to eat and sleep and breathe, but not much else. There was something about needing connection with another human that meant something to them, but it was lost on her.

But as she tried to remember the smallest bit about who she used to be, she realized it was pointless. Why would she try to remember when she was powerless? When she had no purpose, no duty?

She figured that maybe a trip upstairs in her original meat suit might be fun. She couldn’t find a reason not to.

Why wouldn’t she take the chance to feel the sun on her skin?

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #dean winchester x ofc #sam winchester x oc #dean winchester imagine #sam winchester imagine #dean winchester x sister!reader #sam winchester x sister!reader #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #spn #team free will #bobby singer #castiel #alastair

[brightwoods]

Does anyone else feel like almost all of the conflicts that had to do with the various character dynamics in Chain of Thorns didn’t actually get resolved, they just unexplainably ceased to exist after two books of building them up because CC didn’t feel like writing them anymore and she didn’t know how to resolve it naturally after how she’d built the issues up so much?

Like how none of the characters but Cordelia and Thomas had any clue about the Alastair and Charles situation and then suddenly in CoT it was like who doesn’t know? Of course Matthew knew and didn’t say anything before and then randomly brought it up to Cordelia in Paris while assuming she knew too

Or how Alastair and Thomas went from how things were at the end of CoI with Alastair thinking it could never work because Thomas’s friends hate him to oh look everyone suddenly is friends with Alastair with no grudge with no development of that in this book at all, just an abrupt shift

Especially the Alastair and Matthew dynamic where Matthew hated Alastair and wanted him to have nothing to do with any of their friends and he spent CoI ranting about him to Cordelia. And then suddenly in CoT it’s like of course Matthew is supportive of Thomas and Alastair and oh look Matthew and Alastair are suddenly not just tolerating each other for Thomas’s sake but friends despite barely interacting and no development actually showing and never getting any mention of the other in their own POVs, just having Cordelia be like Alastair stop being dumb, you’re literally friends with him now

Or like everyone other than Christopher and Grace where it was like oh we don’t like her for how she’s treated us and her friends straight to anyway she’s one of us. Like yes Grace was useful and yes Tatiana manipulated her whole life, but none of that was why anyone changed their minds or opinions? It was just suddenly the flip of a switch when it was convenient for CC

Or Anna and Ariadne where it didn’t so much develop as Anna just acted mean to Ariadne on and off throughout the series and at the end of CoI she wanted nothing to do with a relationship and then in CoT she was just suddenly like sure I guess I do. Also, slightly different note, but I did not like that Anna barely interacted with anyone else for the entire book and she was just off in the corner being an irrelevant romantic subplot for almost all of the book except when she showed up to barely even be shown in the background being sad about her brother being dead

(Although Anna still got more of a reaction than everyone else and his death was poorly executed all around in the sense of how did you write this so predictably and poorly that no one even knows when he died and it’s so background and 99% of the characters don’t care at all and we don’t see his parents finding out or much of Thomas’s reaction or anything and it’s just as if he wasn’t a character anymore 2 seconds later which is a different genre of issue with CoT but similar problem in the sense that both issues made the book feel a lot more emotionless to read)

And how the issues of Thomas and Alastair being together as two men and Anna and Ariadne being together as two women in this time and the issues of what would happen if the fact that Charles and Alastair were gay got out to the entire Clave just disappeared and never got addressed at all. We know how the ClVe reacted to Alec Lightwood YEARS later. We know society was homophobic at the time TLH is set and that it seems like shadowhunter society was a lot less open-minded than mundanes a century later

I understand that Charles being blackmailed and making shitty decisions was annoying but it was like suddenly everyone finding out wouldn’t have consequences and all the other queer men characters were like how could you possibly be worried about this :/ as if they haven’t spent the whole series knowing they have to be careful about who they tell. And then suddenly it was just of course it’s totally fine and safe to have everyone find out and why wouldn’t you be fine with that. And it was really written in a way that had other queer characters like oh Charles is such a coward for not being ready to publicly tell a bunch of homophobic people his sexuality and it just wasn’t it??? And super weird after Thomas was terrified of telling even Anna and Matthew for years. And also, I did not care for the fact that when Charles did go risk getting outed to finally do the right thing, we didn’t even get to see it through any character’s perspective or how that important meeting went, we just got one line of dialogue from somebody else saying that it happened with no details at all. And I can’t think of other examples right now but there were quite a few moments like that where we got one line saying that something had happened that was important to the plot and to characters’ development that seemed like it would have been more interesting than some of what we did get to see where it was just totally breezed over and way too easy and totally background to less important stuff

And then there was the whole no one reacting to Ariadne and Anna dancing together publicly thing was like yeah that’s nice I guess but not realistic and it doesn’t go with the way things have been presented up to that point, it also just feels like a situation where CC was like well this would be easier for me so there just won’t be consequences and then they can easily end up happily together

And then there was the whole Thomas and Alastair thinking they couldn’t realistically be together thing and knowing they couldn’t get married or be known to be together by anyone they’re not close to and then at the end it’s still not really addressed how they’re going to be together? Like there was the laziest write off of the family tree being wrong and then we still are just left to assume that eventually they move in together and suddenly it’s not a problem and everyone’s fine with it? And then I also feel like we don’t actually know if everyone found out about Alastair and Charles’ sexualities after the blackmail or if people are going to assume about Thomas and Alastair or if that’ll cause issues or if no one knows outside of who they’ve told and they have to be careful or what. Which like wouldn’t necessarily need to be addressed if it wasn’t for the logistics of being together as two men in that time being part of the obstacle that they were struggling with being in their way and then it felt like it was totally forgotten to even be one at the end by CC

Idk like I’d love to think they just lived in a world where homophobia didn’t exist but it felt like homophobia was a plot point when CC wanted it to be an inconvenience and then suddenly disappeared just to make her writing easier the moment she didn’t want it there anymore instead of actually addressing the plots she raised with it if that makes sense?

And sorry, I really did not mean to go on a rant this long. And maybe everyone else had a very different reading experience than I did and other people don’t agree with some or all of this. I personally am just very confused about how the book was almost 800 pages long and it felt like so much of the development in it was us abruptly being told that development had happened rather than actually getting to see it and how so many of the issues were abruptly solved in an I don’t want to write this issue anymore kind of way rather than anything actually needing to be worked at outside of the Belial situation

Edit: You know what, I mentioned it in my tags but I feel like it’s annoying enough to put in the body of the post and make it even longer. What the fuck was with everyone outing or potentially outing everyone else just so that characters could openly talk about the queer characters and tell them to do what they want them to? Why did Matthew out his brother multiple times? Like yes, the people he said it to coincidentally already knew, but he didn’t know that. And why was Thomas outing Alastair? The straights got to keep their secrets as long as they wanted and fix their problems more naturally. Why did I have to sit through queer characters constantly having their sexualities and romantic histories to everyone else when they clearly had not okayed it? Why were the queer characters doing so much of the outing? Why were people who cared about them and knew what it felt like to be afraid of the wrong person finding out just broadcasting their sexualities to make it easier for CC to breeze past development to have their things get resolved fast? Why did no character have an issue with it at all?

#As a queer person the whole using homophobia against her characters as plot just to pretend homophobia doesn’t exist and call her characters #cowards for worrying about it as soon as she’s decided writing it doesn’t serve her plot agenda anymore really icks me right out #Like yeah I’d love homophobia to not exist but girl what are you doing that’s so gross to go about it that way #ALSO everyone outing or potentially outing everyone else to other characters to make it easier to get the queer characters to do what she #wanted them to was a HORRIBLE vibe. Why is Matthew outing his brother? Why is Thomas outing Alastair? Why is everyone telling everyone else #people’s sexualities as if it’s nothing and everyone has a right to know when that character clearly did not feel that way #And it’s so out of nowhere every time too #Hot take: Charles protecting Alastair’s privacy instead of outing him was more valid than anything any of the other queer characters said #about Charles or Alastair’s sexualities even if I hate Charles and his going along with the blackmail was bullshit #Also now that I’ve written all of this down and 99% of what I wrote about in here has to do with the canon queer characters that’s not #a great look either that she did breeze over some of the stuff with the other characters for sure but she was way more likely to skip depth #and development with the queer characters in CoT #CC said no slow burn gradual changes in this book… there’s only room for abrupt 180s and Cordelia running 🏃‍♀️ #Sorry if this has weird typos and other mistakes in it. I typed on my phone and didn’t check for autocorrect nonsense and I’m too lazy to #reread this all rn at my current brainpower level #CoT #Chain of Thorns spoilers #Chain of Thorns #The Last Hours #The Shadowhunter Chronicles #Cassandra Clare #My Posts

[make-me-ur-aphrodite]

guess who finally finished chain of thorns over a week later 🤩 my completely unorganized thoughts for the general public anyways chain of thorns spoilers ahead bros

- ghostwriter is the relationship i love them more than i love my life it's just like the cute little moments between them like when lucie was nervous before her parabatai ceremony with cordelia and he was holding her and comforting her i melted

- i honestly think james and matthews relationship was dealt with really well we know nobody is ever gonna top jem and will but i think they were written really well and them in edom together was so emotional to me

- tell me why i was so heartbroken when christopher died but i only cried when grace sent that fire message and wrote that it was created by kit 🥺lol i'll tell you why it's because we got zero real reaction about it

i wanted anna's pov as her baby brother died in her arms

i wanted cecily and gabriel seeing their sons body taken into idris and realizing what happened

where was sophie and gideon who also lost a child comforting them?!?!?

honestly i think that since christopher did die there was a lot of potential there

-i hated the love triangle and felt awful for matthew the entire time cause like didn't we all know jordelia was endgame i meannnn

literally love jordelia tho and i we'll never not think of james saying "sod that" and shooting the door open like sir 🫣also them traveling is something that is so personal to me i am in love with the idea of james and cordelia going all around the world and then taking their kids with them 😍

-after this book i feel like grace is a lost kitten and i want literally nothing more than to adopt her also did anyone else catch at the end when they said that grace doesn't talk much idk but i would like to give her a home

-the thomastair content 🤩🤩🤩 i love them so much i love that they're moving in together i love alastair with his baby brother i love eugenia saying she's gonna renounce her family if they don't accept thomas when he came out. every scene with them was a masterpiece

also alastair's personality like my boy is sassy and sarcastic and i would die for him

-i think the anna and ari's storylines progressed really well and they've come so far since we've first met them 🥺

-anyways my #1 ship matthew x sobriety came true and i could not be more thrilled

the moral of my rant here was that i really loved it and i think it's just cause im so in love with each of the characters but i loved almost every second of this book and didn't want it to end my only complaint would be how christopher's death and other potentially emotional topics (will and tessa crying when they found out the kids were stuck in london) were kind of just glossed over but overall i was in love with them all and i don't think i can accurately describe my feelings so that was my jumbled mess of thoughts

also can we talk about the fairchild twins please

#tsc #the last hours #chain of thorns #cot spoilers #chot spoilers #chain of thorns spoilers #tlh #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #lucie herondale #matthew fairchild #anna lightwood #christopher lightwood #jesse blackthorn #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #will herondale #tessa gray

[alastairstom]

i'm hoping that we get a little short story of domestic post-canon thomastair tbh i want to see what their life and home are like so badly

i also would like some alastair pov of the relationship or of life in general but i kind of doubt that's going to happen for reasons i'm not super sure of

#thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #thomastair #chot #chain of thorns

[fangirlfreak08]

Tlh characters/relationships and speak now (Taylor’s version) part two

Haunted

Anna. Anna being in love with Ari for years and using other women as a coping mechanism. Anna thinking her and Ari were together and then finding out about the engagement and feelings betrayed ‘i thought I had you figured out’

Also on a more literal note, Grace to kit (I’m sorry)

Last kiss

Ari and Anna. Like I hear your Grace and kit but no because they weren’t *technically* together when he y’know… HOWEVER anna and ari did literally kiss and then break up with next day and then spend like a year estranged. ‘So I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep’ it’s giving Anna not letting herself get close to Ari until she’s dying.

Long live

Like all of them? But specifically the merry thieves. ‘And for a moment a band of thieves in ripped up jeans got to rule the world’ with them four being the perfect close knit group (OF LITERAL THEIVES) for YEARS. ‘If you have children someday please tell them my name’ with none of their children being able to meet kit but you know damn well they will know their uncle kit like they know the rest of their uncles. ALSO Emma and Julian literally pointing to their pictures and Tessa telling them their names?? ‘And the cynics were outraged’ with like half the adult population hating their guts

Ours

Lucie to Jesse. The song gives such innocent first love vibes as well as like a serious amount of ‘what the hell is going on’ from outsiders which in the context of the book, it just because Jesse’s like legit come back from the dead. But neither of them care because this love is theirs

Superman

Let’s be so for real rn it’s Thomas about Alastair. ‘Tall dark and beautiful’ like a Persian prince maybe? ‘He’s not at all bad like his reputation’ I mean COME ON Thomas defending him despite his rep because he knows him!

Electric touch

Purely for accuracy it’s lucie and Jesse. ‘This could either break my heart or bring it back to life’ AND SHE LITERALLY BRINGS HIM BACK TO LIFE?!?!! ‘Fill this ghost town up with life’ him being happy for the first time in years and dancing with her and everything while literally BEING A GHOST?!

Also metaphorically Thomastair both ways, for Alastair ‘bringing Thomas back to life’ by seeing through him after Barbara’s death or Thomas ‘bringing Alastair back to life’ by just loving him

When Emma falls in love

Lucie about Cordelia. So like Cordelia but from lucies pov. Cause Cordelia spent most of her childhood falling for James and being incredibly obvious and she’s a queen. And lucie just idolising her, I mean the gal wrote the whole beautiful Cordelia.

I can see you

It’s giving Thomas and Alastair like hanging out in paris and Charles never catching on, and them making out in the sanctuary and will walking in literally 30 seconds later and never knowing and Thomas being in love for years and his closest friends never working it out-but like mainly the sanctuary scene tbh

Castles crumbling

Either James or Matthew. Like James for the clave turning against him (and his entire family) after learning about Belial and Matthew for his whole world upending and him and James fighting and Cordelia realising he’s still drinking and hanging to tell his parents the truth.

Also everyone turning against Grace but no one really like her at first BUT ari being like ‘I can’t believe she lived in my house’

Also maybe Charles?? Like he had the support of the inquisitor, a fiancé, his family’s love, the claves respect and then he lost the family’s respect when he went against the herondales and lost the claves when he came out

Foolish one

Matthew, Thomas, Alastair, Cordelia-I could go on I mean it just fits

Matthew: First Lucie then Cordelia he has a thing for unrequited love and he knows it but he still hoped Cordelia would chose him and she didn’t

Thomas: the man was in love with Alastair for YEARS and had to watch him and Charles be in love for years without knowing the problems within their relationship (but he got his man so there’s that)

Alastair: hoped and hoped that Charles would chose him over his career just once but he never would and ‘I’ll get your longing glances but she’ll get you rings’ and Charles constantly getting engaged HOWEVER ‘the day is gonna come for your confessions of love’ and Thomas’ ‘Keli asheghetam. I love you let me love you’

Cordelia: I could literally copy and paste thomas bit and change the names man

Timeless

Thomas and alastair. They fell in love at the academy (fight me on this) and then again in paris and then again in London and they were vastly different people in all of these places and yet they still found each other. Also history repeats itself (a lightwood falling in love with someone everyone kinda warns them against without realising it and then professing their love in the others first language)

#Tlh #the last hours #chain of thorns #Alastair carstairs #Thomas lightwood #Cordelia carstairs #James herondale #lucie herondale #jesse blackthorn #grace blackthorn #matthew fairchild #charles fairchild #christopher lightwood

[faithfromanewperspective]

So I am going to be asking about a character I hate right now, but it's a character that I think about frequently because of his proximity to ALL my biggest blorbos. Charles Fairchild. What brand of neurodivergent do you think he is? I have opinions, but want to see what you have to say.

I LOVE THIS QUESTION SO MUCH!!! because I get to talk about a recent interest of mine: and that's how to be properly neurodivergent affirming for all neurodivergences, especially those that are overrepresented in criminal populations and those who are also overrepresented in those who are ostracised for being seen as 'bad people' due to having and expressing non-neuronormative needs that are a result of a combination of trauma and neurobiology. and not just being able to chalk it up to the double empathy problem, either. I will say I am not an expert in this, and if there's anyone in the community reading this who thinks I've not handled it sensitively, please let me know. I like feedback, and I also like it when people say things nicely because i'm human and fragile too.

First, hate to be your stereotypical armchair diagnoser but something about Charles absolutely screams NPD. And as much as he's not a great guy I love that we actually do get to know him, we get to know not only our usual TSC boys who are bleeding with emotion and just so loveable and hungry for connection and love, but the trope that we're told exists, we see from the outside in politicians and business (usually) men (doesn't James compare Charles to one of those men with briefcases rushing about at rush hour in chain of gold?) and who never really let us in to the fact that they're human. Through Alastair's description of Charles' motivations in chain of thorns, we do actually get to know him and what drives him: fear, masked by ambition. And at this point I want to say: I don't think he has NPD because he's a dick. He just happens to be one as well, and that happens to be one of the ways it presents. It is not the only way NPD can present. Overall, in terms of NPD awareness and hey-let's-not-call-all-these-people-with-this-diagnosis-or-who-would-get-it-if-they-ever-got-help-abusers, Charles isn't the best representation. He's not the worst either; he does get sort of a redemption arc, and though we can speculate about his relationship with Alastair (and have reason to) there is very little that is canonically confirmed about it. So, at this point (and it's taken me a lot of thinking and one (1) Charles POV oneshot to get to this point) I agree with Ari that he's an interesting guy to have as a penpal, for curiosity if for nothing else.

I also think he may (?) be autistic. I've strung this together from a very obscure bunch of observations, the first being Will and Tessa's wedding where he 'had colic and wanted everyone to know' (don't mind me botching my quotations). Not saying all autistics are fussy but you know. Differing pain feeling thresholds that come with different sensory profiles. On top of that, politics is an intense and long-lasting special interest for him. I think some of it is the power, some of it is him still trying to get his mother's attention and love by imitating her even after all of these years, but also: it's a way to exist with people that gives him a more or less scripted role. He's known for quite a few social faux pas (think his engagement announcement at james and cordelia's engagement party! that can't be completely siren power mindpuppeting), he struggles with the social-emotional reciprocity thing (especially when it comes to the being vulnerable side of things and we see Alastair suffer for that), he seems to get irritable in a way that he doesn't understand nor know how to be honest about, and when he does want to say something, he just interrupts the conversation. Overall he seems to be a shitty presentation of a shitty stereotype, many shitty stereotypes in fact (that he humanises, like I've talked about). But. Before we brush off Cassie for that, it's important to have diverse representation of any kind of neurodivergence (including what we find ugly), and I find he does actually balance out james and thomas and christopher quite well. And yes. The TLH gang, more of them are autistic than not. His parents are also Charlotte and Henry and I do know how genetics works. I'd be surprised if they had a neurotypical kid.

Speaking of my absolute faves Charlotte and Henry who we do have to admit are kind of shitty parents during the time Charlotte is Consul I can kind of see how having two flaming neurodivergent kids who they had none of the resources to know how to support, one parent is disabled and one is facing the incredible pressure of being the one to break the glass ceiling of holding an INCREDIBLY stressful job with all the scrutiny that comes with Being A Woman while also kind of unofficially being her partner's caretaker and having two kids with zero time off her fulltime plus job and also has a fair bit of her own trauma in regards to Parents--I can see how the Trauma of Many Kinds resulted in this incredibly underresourced family and we have to recognise Charles is a victim of this. Especially, as we know, how neurodivergent needs are you know--different to neurotypicals--and you've got to be super attuned as a parent to understand the unique things your kid needs. We also have to recognise that growing up with him being doubtless unpredictable did a number on Matthew, six years younger and incredibly hungry for connection.

Overall, Charles is a really well put together character in my view and the way he exists in the ecosystem of generational and lateral community trauma just is really well done. He's not a great guy. I hope he gets whatever help he needs, whatever that looks like--I am kind of optimistic for him but I also Really Think It'll Take A LONG Time and it's going to be really hard for him to make genuine connections for quite a while. I think at some point Charlotte and Henry will slowly figure things out. And grieve. A lot.

#charles fairchild #neurodivergence #neurodivergent affirming #and i mean really neurodivergent affirming #the last hours #genuinely please let me know how i've gone with this

[luciehercndale]

The Element of Surprise - Matthtober 2023

Hi all! A little late, but here's my entry fic for @matthtober-2023 💙 It is Matthew's POV of the Thomastair fic where they have to dogsit Oscar. We see where Matthew went and who he met in Paris and there's a bit of Thomastair and Matthew and Alastair banter in this fic.

“There you are. I was worried you’d forgotten,” Matthew chirped at the two people outside his apartment door, not bothering to let them in. “I’m quite late for the train,” he added. “I thought I said nine, and it’s past nine –” 

“You said half past nine, Fairchild,” Alastair argued. “Well, according to my clock, it is ten minutes after nine. We are on time.”

Matthew shrugged nonchalantly and grabbed his luggage with one hand and his dog Oscar with the other. “If you say so.”

“I’m not saying so, the clock is saying so,” Alastair said. “And you said so in your three fire messages. Too bad I’ve thrown them into the fire, or I would’ve showed you the evidence.”

“I didn’t know you paid attention while I talked.”

Alastair raised his eyebrows and sighed. He was about to reply to Matthew, but Thomas interjected. “Come on, you’ll lose the train if you keep arguing about the time,” he patted Matthew’s shoulder, and he finally went out of his apartment, passing in between his friends with his dog on a leather leash.

Thomas and Alastair looked at each other, and followed him outside. The air was crisp, the street still bore the signs of the storm that had bothered the city the night before. Matthew stopped in front of a hansom cab and told the driver to wait, and turned to his dog.

“Oscar. Your father is going to Paris for a few days,” he cooed. “Unfortunately, I can’t take you with me, because Angel forbid dogs can’t attend fashion shows.” Alastair grumbled in the background, said something like “I thought you were late,” but Matthew ignored him. “So I have to leave you with these handsome chaps. You know them both. There is Thomas, who is your friend already. And there’s Alastair,” he took a pause, “who might be your friend. Do not ruin his carpets if you don’t like him, but you can totally eat his ties –”

“Matthew,” Alastair said gravely. “Give me the dog and leave.”

Matthew smiled at his dog and then he turned to his friends. “See, Oscar? Alastair is already brimming with excitement to take you out and clean after you do your business.”

Alastair rolled his eyes as Matthew finally passed the leash to him. Oscar observed Alastair and smelled his pants, then turned to his owner when he greeted them one last time and got into the cab. 

Matthew didn’t like to leave Oscar, but he knew that at least the dog would stay with people he trusted. Yes, even Carstairs. To an outsider they may look like a cat and a dog not getting along, but it was just a farce. He knew Oscar would have fun.

The train to Paris was delayed, and Matthew found himself in the city of lights a few hours later than planned. He couldn’t attend the first salon show he had booked because of this, but never mind. There was more than one show. He couldn’t complain to anyone, though, because this city was always in a rush, and people seemed annoyed by small talk. Time was money.

Time was precious indeed, and Matthew had to change his suit as soon as he entered his lavish room at the hotel where he was staying, because he didn’t want to smell like the train. He eventually made it to the Palace of Versailles where the second event was going to happen. This one, unlike the others, featured a fashion show with models. It was a smart way to let the customers see all the looks and then see in detail those that caught their eye.

Matthew walked briskly to his front seat with a brochure in hand, but instead of reading the program, he used it to fan himself. 

“Quite different from London, right?”

In the time Matthew turned his blonde waves toward the voice who had just spoken, he realized to whom it belonged. “Must be the position,” he offered the woman a pleased grin. “We are more South after all. Maybe the perturbation that worried our country last night will head here next.”

“It would be hilarious if it did,” she said, exchanging smiles. “One of the shows I have to attend is in an Italian garden. Imagine the rain falling suddenly and drenching the poor posh people who came from everywhere just to buy clothes.”

“I would like to see that,” Matthew laughed softly. “I never thought we would be meeting here.”

“Esme, the name is Esme,” she blurted cheerfully. “I did. I know you like fashion.”

Matthew nodded. “Yes, I do remember you, Esme,” he replied. “We often frequent the same circles, you see. And now even fashion circles. Out of my friends, only Anna likes fashion. Ah, and probably Alastair,” he sighed. “But they are so boring when it comes to clothes. They do not go out of their black comfort zone.”

Esme smiled again, and she blushed. “I never thought you paid attention to me,” she mumbled, moving her gaze to the guests who were searching for a seat. “I wouldn’t consider myself part of a fashion circle, not at all.”

“Then are you here out of curiosity? Paris is one of the pillars of women’s fashion, after all.”

“I’m here because of my mother,” she explained. “You see, this seat was hers. She had another event she had to attend, but didn’t want to waste the opportunity to take a peek into the new trends.”

“Oh, so she sent you in her stead. Clever.”

“Yes,” she nodded. “She also told me to order the gowns I think are good for her, but I…”

“I remember your mother,” Matthew said. “I could help you, if you want? And maybe suggest something you can order for yourself.”

Esme’s smile widened, and the pink on her cheeks deepened. “Yes, I would love that.”

Matthew exchanged the grin, and the conversation quieted because the orchestra had just started playing. The show was about to begin.

A few days later, Matthew was exhausted even if he didn’t do much aside from examining and choosing new suits and ties and shoes to add to his wardrobe. Picking out fashion items was tiring, but it was fun, especially when you weren’t alone. 

He ended up meeting Esme Hardcastle at every other show he had booked, and the two resorted to spending time together because they both came by themselves. Matthew didn’t mind being alone, because he could always find company if he desired. But being with someone he knew, even if barely, was better. Somehow, it made him more comfortable when he was traveling. It was like having a piece of your home country with yourself. 

He had to admit, Esme was a cheerful and bright woman. She liked to talk about different topics, but she enjoyed it when people inquired about her family tree project. 

“How should I write you on the family tree?” she had asked him. 

“Just write my name and surname? I’m too young to think about marriage,” he chuckled.

“I never mentioned marriage.”

“No, but you told me you asked people about their plans. Whether they will get married soon, whether they have kids,” he had shrugged. “I don’t plan on either of those things,” he smiled. “At least for the time being.”

“You’re a dog dad,” she nodded and scribbled something on her notebook. “Noted.”

Matthew thought Esme was disappointed, but he never had time to ask her because the day after he went back to London. He was sure they would have chances to speak again. 

As he thought about what he did with Esme during those days, he decided to get Oscar from Cornwall Gardens on the way back from the station. For some reason, her last words to him stuck. She had called him dog dad, and he knew it was true. He sent a fire message to Thomas to make sure they were home, so he could embrace his dog.  

“I thought you were in Paris,” Thomas answered the door. “I mean, I thought you would be back tomorrow morning.”

“They canceled a show due to the bad weather,” he explained, letting himself in. “How did it go? Was Oscar good?”

“I believe you’ll have to see for yourself,” Thomas said. 

“What? Did he break a vase? Did he tear one of Alastair’s shirts apart?”

Thomas led him to the living room. “Even better,” he lowered his voice as he opened the door. 

Matthew frowned, wondering what Oscar could’ve done, until he saw the scene. Oscar was perched on the sofa, sleeping quietly. This wouldn’t have been weird at all, but what made Matthew gasp in surprise was on who Oscar was leaning. His head was on Alastair’s leg, and he was resting as well, one hand on the dog’s back. But he wasn’t jealous, just amused.

“What in the world,” he muttered. “Oscar!” he called, and the dog instantly raised his head and left the sofa to come to him, flapping his tail happily. “Yes, yes, I missed you too,” he stroked his fur.

“You are early,” Alastair grunted from the sofa, rubbing his sleepy eyes. 

“I believe in the element of surprise,” Matthew declared. “And perhaps you do too.”

“Well, I don’t, but what can I do?” he scoffed, but he was grinning. “Is it really shocking that Oscar likes me?”

Matthew shrugged, a smile tugging at his lips. “I might leave Oscar here more often.”

“He’s welcome to sleep on my leg whenever he wants,” Alastair admitted, and Oscar barked. “I do think he agrees.”

“Did you meet someone interesting in France?” Thomas wondered, and Matthew’s mind went back to Esme.

“You wouldn’t believe…” he began, and he told them about his Parisian experience. He would send a fire message to Esme, at least to see if she returned home safely. But not today, tomorrow. Today he would be a dog dad and spend the remaining time of the day with Oscar.

*

This story is called "element of surprise" because Matthew is surprised of finding Esme in Paris and getting along with her but at the same time, he's amused that Oscar likes Alastair so much. I hope you can tell that Matthew and Alastair are joking, they like to banter like that. lol.

Also: fashion shows/weeks in Paris as we know them weren't a thing until the 1970's, but bear with me. I do believe there might have been fashion expositions where rich people like Matthew would go check the new trends

#tsc #tsc fan fiction #matthtober 2023 #matthew fairchild #tlh #alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #the last hours #chain of thorns #chain of iron #chain of gold #the shadowhunter chronicles #esme hardcastle #tweety.writes

[jaybeefoxy]

Watched the Martin Shaw version of Dalgliesh the other night for the first time. UK TV Play has The Murder Room and Death in Holy Orders on demand. I have to say, I liked Martin's rendition of the character, but he's not as quietly contemplative as Bertie Carvel. He's studied, thoughtful, and shows the character's dedication to the pursuit of truth, but he's not as intimidating as Carvel manages to make his version. Somehow, the new version is much more like the original. I've stuck the rest of this review under the cut. I'd be interested in other folk's thoughts.

They messed with the Martin Shaw stories, but I can forgive it for the purposes of dramatising. I've not read the Murder Room yet so I can't compare it, but I've just finished Death in Holy Orders and was interested to see how it played out. They slightly changed the ending, probably to make it more dramatic, but I'm not sure they really needed to. They don't really seem to bring out the fact that Dalgliesh is a poet in Shaw's version. It seems to be used far more in the recent series.

I'm hoping they do Holy Orders for the new series because if they're sticking to canon, this is where P D James introduces Emma Lavenham. Not that I want to see Dalgliesh with a new love interest (because I definitely ship him with Carlys Peer's Miskin), but I'm interested from a literary pov to see what they do with it.

I was slightly confused, because they stuck Emma in Murder Room for Martin's series, which she isn't in Bertie's rendition. However, they filmed out of book sequence for the new one. Far as I can see Murder Room comes after Holy Orders, so the new series has ignored canon there.

However, I liked neither of the actresses who took Miskin's role in the Martin Shaw series. Tilly Blackwood played a version closer to the books in terms of looks, but I didn't feel sympathetic to her character's attitude. Victoria Scarborough took the role in Holy Orders, (so from a blond actress, they jump to one with short dark hair) and I found her too sharp-edged, despite perhaps being closer to the changes wrought in her by James' writing as the character grows.

I like Carlys Peer's rendition, despite it being the least like the books (not least of which because they didn't cast a white actress), but she brings out Miskin's relationship with Dalgliesh better, in my humble opinion.

Nor did I care for the rendition of Piers Tarrant either. In the Carvel version they've mashed up the (book) characters of Daniel Aaron and Piers Tarrant, so we seem to get Daniel Tarrant, played by Alastair Brammer. I feel he's a much better fit than William Beck who seems to be whinging all the time.

Personally, for series three, I would like to see them do Death in Holy Orders, The Lighthouse and The Private Patient. I think this would allow them to introduce Emma (even though I'd prefer an outcome with Kate Miskin, that's for fanfic realms, not television), and follow their relationship. Private Patient is the last one in the series, so it would allow them to tie this up to three series, unless a fourth is planned, in which case, they'll have to mess around with the timeline, which I hope they don’t do. The main problem I can see is that the last series was firmly rooted in the 70s and the last book brings us up to 2008. It's a big leap, and one I'm not sure will work. Roll on 2024.

#adam dalgliesh #martin shaw #bertie carvel #murder room #death in holy orders #p d james

[towerofbooks]

Disappointed that we didn’t see Charles apologizing for his actions and didn’t see much of character growth that I was hoping for.

When I was reading the end of Chain of Iron, I was expecting Charles to like apologies to Alastair or something. But no we just got more of him being bad, I was really hoping Cassie was gonna give his character a little more but nope, just disappointment. Then I was hoping that by the end of Chain of Thorns, that was when he would apologies and even go as far as to say that he was happy for Alastair and Thomas being together but no, more disappointment. 

That could’ve given him more character growth, sure he got some when he finally confessed and such, but I really, really, really, wished he had more. And also him apologizing to Matthew for being a crappy brother. 

Really wanted to see more of Charles’s character and more dialogue from him to give his character something more. I didn’t even need a POV from him, just more dialogue and nuance and complexity. I feel like this was such a wasted opportunity for his character.  

I though he was gonna be like Gabriel Lightwood or Kieran, characters we hated in the first book, started to like in the second and then end up loving in the third. 

Also I wanted to see the friendship between Charles and Ari, in my head that would’ve been such a sweet and adorable friendship. 

#chain of thorns #chain of iron #charles fairchild #Matthew Fairchild #alastair carstairs #ari bridgestock

[flowersbloomuntiltheyrot]

Flowers Bloom until they Rot and Fall Apart

Chapter 8 (PAST): All the Happiness you Lost

Another bit of happier past that sadly did not last, this time from Thomas' POV. ChoT Thomas inspired me for this as well as ChoT Eugenia, who is a gremlin. Enjoy!

Thomas sighed in defeat as he let out another coughing fit. He’d told Alastair he was recovering . He’d said he was sure he would feel well enough to meet him tonight. He cursed himself for making promises he now couldn’t keep. What would Alastair think? For a moment, Thomas considered going out anyway, but he did not think Alastair would like it much if Thomas spent the evening coughing over him. 

Pneumonia, the doctor had concluded. An old friend he had not seen in many years. Why it had come back now of all times, Thomas did not know. Perhaps it was that time he and Lucie had gone swimming and Thomas had accidentally inhaled some dirty lake water after a cannonball.

Thomas had thought they were past this, but his family had gone all the way back to protecting sick little Tommy mode, even though he was not so little anymore. And not even that sick. Going out on a date might be a bit much, but he didn’t need the coddling, his mother making him tea every hour, nor Barbara stuffing him in blankets or Eugenia watching him like a hawk to see if he might attempt to leave his bedroom.

He took his phone from the desk beside his bed, he’d missed a text from Alastair. 

Alastair: Are you feeling any better?

Thomas considered for a few moments before texting back.

Thomas: Not really. I have pneumonia apparently.

Alastair’s response was faster than Thomas could have anticipated. 

Alastair: Oh that sucks, get well soon.

Thomas: Maybe we can move tonight’s date to my place? We could watch a movie or something. I’d like the company.

They’d planned to go out for dinner, had set this date two weeks ago before Thomas had gotten sick, and he regretted having to cancel on Alastair. This was a nice enough alternative, right? Alastair always seemed to like it here. 

Alastair: If you’re sure you feel up for it. I’ll ask my mother.

After several minutes, Alastair texted again. 

Alastair: I’ll be there around six,  does that work?

Thomas: Sure! We usually eat around seven,  I’ll let my mom know you’re joining.

Thomas got up from bed and changed into a clean shirt and pants. He was about to leave his bedroom,when Eugenia grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. 

“Oh no, you don’t,” Eugenia said. “Back to bed with you.”

Thomas sighed. “I’m getting too old for this, Genie. Lying in bed all day has never done anyone any good. Also, even with pneumonia I’m stronger than you. You can’t stop me.”

“And where do you think you’re going, then?” Eugenia demanded. “Not on your date with Alastair. You always refuse to take proper rest when you’re sick. But if you won’t listen to me, I’ll call Alastair to come over and take care of you instead.”

This had to be difficult for Eugenia. While she was a gremlin who would stop at nothing to keep Thomas from going out while he was sick, she also championed his and Alastair’s relationship from the sidelines. 

“I already asked him to come over,” Thomas said. “And I was about to tell mom so she’d make enough food for all of us. And I might as well rest in the living room.” 

The reason Thomas had retreated to his bedroom to rest was that it offered a little more privacy, and when he was in there his parents did not bother him. Barbara and Eugenia not so much, Thomas didn’t think either of them had any clue what boundaries meant. 

Thomas desperately hoped he could teach his sisters to knock before Alastair spent the night here for the first time. That sort of thing would have to happen here. Alastair wasn’t out to his parents yet and he preferred to meet at Thomas’ house. Besides, Thomas didn’t think Alastair’s father liked him very much. Thomas had the sense something was not quite right there, with Alastair’s father in particular, but he’d never been able to get Alastair to talk about it. 

He found his mother outside in the garden, watering the blue roses. Those had always been among Thomas’ favorites. 

“Tom, how are you feeling?” 

“Could be better, could be worse,” Thomas said. “Alastair’s coming over for dinner tonight. We were going out, but since I’m not feeling well we’re going to watch a movie at home instead. Is that alright?”

“Sure. I’m making cauliflower soup tonight, there should be plenty.”

His mother always made more soup than they needed. If he’d been feeling better, he would have helped with the cooking, he loved to cook. Now, he returned inside to the living room, folding himself into a blanket on the couch. He’d asked Alastair to bring him his homework so he could at least keep up somewhat. While it was a bad idea to try magic when he could be interrupted any moment by  a coughing fit, he should at least try to keep up with the theory. He needed to keep his grades up if he wanted to be accepted into a magical botany programme at university. 

Thomas jumped up from the couch as the doorbell rang, but Eugenia had long beat him to the front gate. It always felt impractical, to have to open the front gate and then the front door, but there were too many deadly plants in the garden to not put a big fence around it. 

Eugenia was talking loudly about how Thomas was still sick, how he’d been coughing all day and how Alastair should make sure he didn’t move too much from the couch. Thomas wondered if it was possible to die of embarrassment. Then he realized he’d gone out with no shoes on and was still wrapped in a Mickey Mouse blanket. 

“Alastair. It’s good to see you.”

Alastair was dressed nicely in a black blouse and matching trousers, his hair styled to perfection as usual. Thomas didn’t think Alastair ever had bad hair days. It had grown out a little, he used to keep it short but now it had grown past his ears, falling in soft locks over his forehead. He looked at Thomas through the thick lashes circling his dark eyes. He often did that, eyes just a little closed, and Thomas couldn’t help but wonder if he did it on purpose. If Alastair knew how seductive it made him look. 

“You’re not contagious, right?” Alastair asked.

“No,” Thomas said.  “It’s a bacterial pneumonia, so you can’t catch it from me. I’m taking antibiotics for it.” 

“That sounds serious,” Alastair said. “I’m sure the antibiotics will help, but my mother and I also made some remedies. They’re haoma based. This should lower the fever, this one helps with the coughing, and the last helps you feel less tired.”

“I think I could use all of those,” Thomas said. 

Alastair explained how to dose the different remedies, and Thomas took a little bit of everything. There wasn’t an instant effect he could feel, but Alastair explained he would likely start feeling better after an hour or so. He should take his next dose the next morning. 

“Don’t mind my sister too much,” Thomas said. “I’m not sure they know what boundaries are. Fortunately, it’s only Eugenia, though I’m sure Barbara would have been here if she didn’t have an evening shift.”

His oldest sister had moved in with her boyfriend Oliver not long ago, and while he’d had to get used to her not being around, he was glad she was not here while he was sick. It was just Eugenia today.

“I think she’s just protective,” Alastair said.

“She is, but do I look like I need protecting?”

Thomas barely finished his sentence before breaking into another coughing fit that took a good several minutes to stop. 

“No offense, but right now  you kind of do,” Alastair said. “The Mickey Mouse blanket looks cute on you though. Good thing I brought my mother’s remedies. You’ll feel better soon, I promise.”

Thomas sighed. The Mickey Mouse blanket had been one from his childhood, and it just so happened to be one of the bigger blankets in the house. The only one, in fact, that he could still wrap himself in. 

“What movie did you have in mind?” Alastair asked. 

@life-through-the-eyes-of @astriefer @justanormaldemon @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @all-for-the-fanfiction @amchara @ddepressedbookworm @wagner-fell @imsoftforthomastair @queenlilith43 @stxr-thxif @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd @sheisbeautyweareworldass @ikissedsmithparker @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @livingformyself @anarmorofwords @sapphic-in @fortheloveofthecarstairs @tessherongraystairs @thewarthatsavedmylife-blog @grace-lightwoodd @rainingpouringetc @thomastaircompassrose @kiwichaeng @yozinha-z @skirtsandsweaters @goodoldfashionednerd @have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas @who-beingloved-ispoor-blog @lightwoodsimp @americann-idiot @thomaslightwood @cant-think-of-anything

#Thomas Lightwood #Alastair Carstairs #Eugenia Lightwood #Sophie Lightwood #the last hours #fanfiction #thomastair

[spacehero-23]

Charles Fairchild i never understood the dislike for him like there is a difference being a pompous prick which he was to the satan fandom cast him as (other day in a post from 2021 I saw someone wonder if he is the corrupt consul I think it was the person who did a lovely analysis on the racism that Cordelia, Alastair and Ari face). I would like to get his perspective on politics and coming out essentially to the clave and telling them he was being blackmailed

i think...if people want to dislike charles for the way he treated alastair, they 100% can and have every right to do that. but some people talk about him like he's the next sebastian or valentine. he's clearly not.

that one, tiny scene where he reacts to *redacted*'s death proved that if cassie cared enough to make him a real character and not a caricature he'd be amazing (controversial probably, but interesting)

and yeah, i've complained about the lack of idris pov a couple of times already. charles apparently, had this major character development in between the scenes but we didn't get to see any of that. did he give up on being the next council? or does the clave not care? at the end of the book, ari mentions that he's working with the current inquisitor, kazuo satō, who as far as i can tell is a new character. my personal theory is that he's charles's new love interest for the novella. but we don't know what he's doing just that he and ari and matthew are friends/friendly now.

#chain of thorns spoilers #chot spoilers #tlh spoilers #charles fairchild #shadowhunters #cassandra clare #the last hours #chain of thorns #tsc #tlh #the shadowhunter chronicles

[diana-bookfairchild]

I can't freaking wait for Better in Black and the first chapter of The Wicked Powers!! The ship list has finally been released for it.

Will and Tessa : Feeling kind of ambivalent about this. I love them, but I prefer Jessa anyway and we just got some content of them in The Last Hours so. . . . *shrugs* Can't say it's unexpected, though.

Clary and Jace: Yes!! YES YES YES!!! I mean, I was pretty sure they were going to be in this, since they're one of the main couples of TSC and the title of the book is from one of Jace's quotes, but still. I am so happy!! I hope this is from when they're being amazing badass heads of institute. Or maybe Lightwood family time?? Whatever, I don't care, I'm just glad one of my all-time OTPs is in.

Anna and Ariadne: My whole The Last Hours experience was weird, so I don't really remember much about them, but I loved them in Every Exquisite Thing and can't wait to see more!

James and Cordelia: Neutral about this one too. The whole James/Matthew/Cordelia love triangle and the way the three of them behaved in the second and third books ruined both Herondaisy and Fairstairs for me. Heronchild for the win!

Sebastian and the Seelie Queen: Weird choice, definitely not expected, but I can't wait to see what this story is about! From some Twitter screenshots I gather this is going to set at least something up for The Wicked Powers. And there is something intriguing about this couple and how they tie in to the whole theme of love in these short stories. The rest of the couples all have - mostly - healthy relationships, so this one should be different.

Emma and Julian: I adore these two and I'm always happy for more Blackstairs, but we literally just had Secrets of Blackthorn Hall?? Maybe it's a flashback from when they were kids, because I would love that. Then again, they are a main couple and all of those are here.

Thomas and Alastair : Yes!!! Hopefully Zachary is there too. Thomastair rom-com?? Sign me the hell up!

Mark, Kieran and Cristina: Faerie politics + an amazing ship. Expected since the couple or throuple thing, but still thrilled!

Simon and Isabelle: Finally some Sizzy content!! Awesome! We haven't had an Izzy POV since what, City of Heavenly Fire?? I really hope it's that. And I want to see Simon recruiting or helping with the new Academy at Luke's farm!

Luke and Jocelyn: Okay, not a fan, even if I liked the scene in City of Glass where they got together. But I do love some Circle content, and the two people who love and are loved by Valentine most during the time they realize how far off the rails he's going? Interesting. I'm hoping there'll be a flash present with an announcement that Clary's getting a sibling. (And how angsty will it be if it's a girl with red hair and blue eyes like in Clary's This World Inverted vision??) (Though I do get if Jocelyn is too traumatized to have more kids).

I was hoping so much for Gabrily and Haline, but these choices definitely do not disappoint. Three and a half of my five favourite TSC couples is definitely not a bad result. The anticipation will (hopefully maybe) get me through entrance exams hell.

#the shadowhunter chronicles #better in black

[hechangedtheworldforhim]

chain of thorns spoilers!

~

okay, my brain is still scattered after reading this rollercoaster of a book, but i need to write some of my thoughts down because i am living in denial

general thoughts:

-there was so little magnus, tragic

-there was so little of the adults too, like i know it’s not their story but we’re never gonna see them again

-all of the malcolm tda foreshadowing yikes

-audibly screamed in terror when matthew and cordelia kissed

-seriously their love triangle was just pissing me off

-thomas’ pov kept me going

-but alastair had like one short pov section? what?

-huge ari and winston stan though

-the christmas party scene with tatiana, i was actually so concerned

-low key love that it was grace who told cordelia the truth

-damn james and cordelia are crazy (horny james herondale shooting the doorknob like omg get it)

-you’re telling me esme hardcastle making up her own stories is the whole reason why this stupid family tree is so inaccurate??

-and like, now, it’s SUPER inaccurate

-if i don’t get an updated family tree istg i’m going to lose my mind

okay now onto the important stuff aka why do the lightwood siblings always have to suffer:

-literally wtf because i was seriously rooting for christopher and grace so hard?? and then he died?? what??

-he spent the whole book being his adorable little self and then suddenly he’s gone

-and NO ONE got to grieve properly

-the merry thieves are never going to be the same again, it felt like these books were built on the foundation of their friendship but everyone just moved on?

-like i seriously thought he was still alive or would be coming back somehow because it felt so rushed and improper

-no funeral, no ave atque vale, no scene of cecily and gabriel mourning their CHILD?!

-i’m so upset on his behalf, christopher lightwood you deserve the world

in conclusion:

alastair’s sarcasm was the only thing holding this book together for me, thank you

#chain of thorns #chain of thorns spoilers #cordelia carstairs #james herondale #christopher lightwood #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc

[ash-morgensterns]

Post Chain of Thorns Rant pt.2

[pt.1]

Now that she no longer was busy treating Ari like shit and using women like objects, Anna was a lot more tolerable. I even liked the glimpses of her relationship with Matthew we got. Maybe if she could react like a person whose brother just died in her arms I would like her a lot better. And if we got to see her mourning in her own POV rather than in Ari's buried between paragraphs of her wanting to kiss Anna. 

Jesse came back from the dead, literally everyone and their mother knows it, yet his literal family barely bats an eyelid. The very same folks who had begged him to come live with them when he was a kid. Now to them, he's just 'Jesse the new strange boy'. The whole Jeremy Blackthorn plan was just cheap, I cannot believe it worked for as long as it did. This guy here is the spitting image of his father, yet when he showed up at a party full of people who had known him for years, they just drink up the American relative excuse just because apparently all Blackthorns look the same???? Also wouldn't they know Jesse as well considering he was running around London, possessed by a Prince of Hell and murdering Shadowhunters just yesterday??? Nobody found it even a little suspicious that a new Blackthorn just showed up right after that??? Whatever, the necromancy plot was just an afterthought and it showed. #Jesse and James best brothers-in-law. 

I absolutely loathed how everyone villainized Charles just because he wanted to keep his relationship with Alastair and homosexuality a secret. And then, to make things worse, he was literally forced into coming out by his own brother and his friend, and got treated like shit because he dared prioritize his career over any relationship he might have in the future. God forbid someone doesn't put romance in the first place right??? And don't even get me started on how everyone just dismissed him after he did come out. Because apparently 'nobody cares if he fancies men'!!! Where did Charles get the impression he would get ostracized if the truth ever came out??? That's so silly of him!!! I'm raging.

A few more thoughts about the book/plot in general:

Elias' funeral anyone???

CC totally forgot one of the characters was supposed to end up exiled at the Scholomance.

The Carstairs owe the Herondales because????

Wasn't there supposed to be a surprise baby that needed adoption?

Ariadne changed her name to Ari/Arati but we never get a last name. Does she keep Bridgestock since she made up with her mother?

After four completed series and six (that I can remember) dead siblings, I can safely say that the one who got the most (and better written) amount of mourning is Sebastian, of all the people.

These characters have such a black and white perception of the word and it's just annoying.

How TF did Charlotte manage to get pregnant, she is like 50… And twins.

Bridget coming into the fray last minute and starting to slay demons was insane. I love her for it.

New Belial's pact about him and Herondales staying away from each other is totally tying in either the last TEC's book or TWP.

Anna and Ari already planning to adopt a baby feels incredibly rushed.

Forever be bitter that we never got to see Gideon's reaction to Jesse resurrection and them interact.

Congratulations to Sona for making it out alive when so many people (me included) gave her for dead.

Cordelia's relationship with both Herondale is totally rushed and built around nothingness. I wish CC would stop trying to sell either as "childhood friendships turned into more" because… it's simply not that. It's blatantly obvious that despite writing to each other for years (plus the occasional meeting) Lucie and Cordelia barely know each other, and James doesn't even have that… Am I really supposed to believe that it took him as little as her reading to him when he was nearly comatose with fever to make him fall in love with her?

It was very nice to see all the characters finally come together and interact as a group.

Lucie and Jesse best ship.

If Tessa hadn't been so stubborn about keeping her head under sand about the identity of her father and had acted accordingly (especially when Jem did all the research work for her and clearly warned her that her father was one of the Princes of Hell) all that mess about getting the Institute removed from their custody would have been avoided. Not to mention, she could have had her children learn how to defend themselves, insead of leaving them to fend off alone until the problem became too big to ignore.

The falling out for the necromancy plot was incredibly underwhelming.

I don't think we are ever getting another (accurate) family tree.

#the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles #chain of thorns #chain of thorns spoilers #anna lightwood #jesse blackthorn #charles fairchild #tessa gray

[alastairstom]

It annoys me sooo much that we never got a Matthew pov in tlh!!! he deserved better!!!!!!!!!!

Controversial take but as a Matthew ride-or-die I actually don't mind this.

For one thing, Matthew is going to wind up with more content than honestly any of the other TLH characters besides probably Cordelia. Between NBS and CLS and TLH and his (very probable, so much that I'm secure in it) upcoming novella, we are fed. He's the PoV character in CLS and probably in his novella, too. That's, like, a ton of PoVs. Kind of like Jem; no TID PoVs, but it's nbd because he has an entire book of PoVs.

(Of course, I don't really think this matters when answering "how developed/how good a character is Matthew?" It just bears noting that we haven't been shirked.)

For another really important thing, it bears remembering that Matthew Fairchild, like Alastair Carstairs, basically has his finger in every pie (plotline) in TLH. He's obviously part of the main ""love triangle"" plot and intersects heavily with James and Cordelia; he's critical in Thomas and Alastair's story; he's close with Anna, heavily involved in her story with Ari, and has tons of scenes with her; he's involved with Ghostwriter through his crush on Lucie. Not even to mention that he has a really well-fleshed-out plotline of his own with alcoholism, mental illness, internal battles, and the clawing realizations that come with emotional self-harm and seeking out impossible, doomed love stories. He overcomes a lot.

Having his PoV would actually tamper down his story, too. His perception of the world around him, both as an alcoholic and as someone who is doing extremely badly, would make him a heavily unreliable narrator. Probably to the point that we could not trust his account of events. We do get to see his internal struggle through those who love him; if your heart didn't break at "so silly of me, who knew toys had sharp edges" just because it was in James's PoV, you missed the point, I think. He's written with so much obvious love.

In short I don't think we should get hung up, ever, on "this character has a PoV" or "it's unfair that this one doesn't." Alastair has one (1) major PoV in TLH too, and I don't think anyone can argue that he isn't another of the best-developed TSC characters.

Sometimes you don't get a PoV because others need to speak for you when you cannot. Not because you're less important to the story or to the creator.

#matthew fairchild #tlh

[emmalovesfitzloved]

Who are your fav characters, and why ? And favourit ship/s ?

Eeeeek finally getting round to this lovely ask by the smartiest @imabitchforjemcarstairs hehehe

I have answered this lovely q, and here is the link for the full unhinged answer for the "why" them, hehe.

But the TLDR just for fire rapid answers is:

Favourite characters:

Alastair

Will/Tessa (tie)

Thomas

Matthew

Kitty and Jessa tie

Malec (if allowed a sixth place)

Top Ships:

Thomastair

Wessa

Kitty

Jemma

Malec

(lots of cheating with the ties, but im going to be honest, i can't choose frfr)

Now to enjoy this read and not make and make this answer half assed, I will be original and give my two cents on the topic of Wessa vs. Jessa i haven't had the time to chat about until now. So technically you didn't ask for this lol but i feel like we love Jem and this is a perfect opportunity to give an essay responce on the whole shindig :)

So scooch in for me @imabitchforjemcarstairs we need a chat ;) .

On the topic of Jessa vs. Wessa vs. Herongraystairs in TID:

I think I liked them a lot especially in TID, but i think that the lack of Jem POV makes it hard to really understand what's going inside in his head. And i think the relationship as a ship in writing, suffers from it, especially when we have Will's POV. And that rather, the decisions that 'metamorph' in their relationship is out of Jessa's hands, but a response to the events CC convienently plops in, not allowing any of these three characters decided eyes wide open their fate. Which imo, is a cop out. Let's breakdown the sneaky manipulative writing CC did ;)

I recently reread TID (for about the 10th time now, as one does during the christmas season lol) and found that even during the Herongraystairs arc, it felt like the writing gave more bonding and more to Wessa than Jessa. I call this in romance novels the, "convincing period", where the author in those formative chapters has to convince the reader that these two individuals should be in a ship. CC convinced us on Wessa bc they were into each other since day 0 when Will saved her from the Twin sisters, had so many hobbies in common and shared the same common struggles of figuring out who they want to be in this world (Will struggling w/ his identity and curse and Tessa as a weird hybrid warlock who constantly gets gaslit her who life). So the convincing is done well there i think we can all agree on that pretty easily.

For Jem and Tessa, it seems as if Tessa always defaulted to him because he was a failsafe from Will. And i don't mean that negatively, but in that, he was brilliant, light, elegant, poised and studied and that is literally sexy as hell lol. LIKE COME ON, HE MADE MUSIC ON HIS VIOLIN FOR HERRR. THAT'S HELLA ROMANTIC. And is very "show don't tell" when it comes to his love, my fav trope. He is very clear, which at the time, was the opposite of Will. So that in of itself is attractive to Tessa. But it's a canon event, that she went into the engagement collaterally in book 2, bc Will constantly kept deflecting what they had. She wouldn't have explored a relationship with Jem, if it weren't for Will's deflections. This is literally a canon event. And Tessa wanted to explore what she had with Jem bc he was very decided and less flakey than Will. Which tbh makes utter sense to me!

But as you can see, later on, once Jem leaves the silent brothers, the way i interpreted this is that, Jem and Tessa became a thing bc of the history they have, the loyalty they have to the trio friendship group and bc Tessa doesn't have Will anymore. It's giving very much "begin again" by Taylor Swift Vibes (not too much but yk kinda that aesthetic). And what I'm trying to say, is that I read the Jessa relationship at a disadvantage when up against Wessa. I think CC would have benefited writing Jessa and Wessa independent, and not collaterally contigent on the happenings of what was going on with the status of the other relationship. And then, on Wessa's side in response to Jem leaving for the Silent Brothers, they didn't want to get together in Book 3, bc Will didn't want to take his best mate's girl away bc his best mate never asks anything of Will and he's also high key dying.

It’s unfair that Wessa happened bc Will felt like there was a curse which gave way for Jessa’s engagement, and conversely, it’s unfair that Wessa only got together once the silent brothers made Jem one of them. So again, the autonomy of these characters are not happening 'authentically' but are happening bc of circumstances.

There is also the accidental (ig) trope that Jem with his illness he was given which in political theory we call, “the children are dying” trope. Which means, you give blanket equity or veto power to someone irrespective of the context of deserving because they are “closer to death” than anyone else. This is THE DRIVING FORCE, of why everyone acts the way they do around poor Jem and it drives him, and us the readers crazy, rightfully so. Jem and Will become friends, not because Will at first fr liked Jem as a person or thought he was a talented shadowhunter, but “because he was dying”, blanket permission for friendship. Tessa was kind to Jem at first because, you guessed it, blanket permission because he is closer to death than she is. They get engaged despite not knowing each other for a long time, conveniently for Jem because, yes, he’s close to death. So much of autonomy is once again stripped from characters around Jem, because most of their actions are respective to his illness. Which is polite, lovely, but it rightfully upsets Jem because he is still a person. Not a a make a wish kid nor a charity case. This was touched on briefly when he said he didn’t want a nurse out of Tessa but a wife. This wasn’t morally delved into deeply save for Tessa’s answer “no I fr like u dude wdym” but than her actions proceed to default back to the “children are dying” complex around him. And we’re only freed from this trope finally once Jem has lived basically the immortal life and is a very changed person after silent brotherhood.

So WTF to do right? Seems like CC built up amazing grounds and complications in these characters, but what to do right? How can she wrap this up in a nice bow? Well CC went naturally via the occam's razor route, which is: Jem becomes a literal monk giving him 'immortality', so circumstantially, the only option JUST SO HAPPENS that Will and Tessa can be together. Again, its not a decision Tessa makes, its a problem that solves itself for Tessa. She goes with Will for now, and maybe in the future, she will go with Jem if he ever leave the silent brothers.

Which again, imo is a bit of a cop out. But CC didn't allow Tessa to put her big girl panties and choose a man. But one thing is clear, which is CC didn't write Will and Jem equal from the start. And it is very clear that Will was written from the beginning as the forbidden love and chosen one. Which is extremely unfair to Jem bc there is so much we could have learned and gained from a Jem pairing that DIDN'T happen bc of the circumstances of Wessa not working out. I truly think that Jem was written with an unfair disadvantage. Like i said, One bc his POV hasn't ever been explored that well. and Two, bc all of Tessa's choices weren't made bc she willed them, but bc CC wrote the circumstances in to take away the choice for her.

Now what I do think is right, is that Jessa, both being immortal are together later on in Shadowhunter Canon. I love Mina and I love what they can be for each other. They make each other happy. And for anyone who says that you can have only 1 love in ur life has a very romantic judeo-catholic view on things XD. U can have many loves in ur life, and each of them can be independent from each other. Love is not mutually exclusive. How is it that you can love unbundently and feel equal love for your multiple pets and children, but not find it in yourself to love more than 2 men? It is entirely possible. And so I do think there is room for Jessa, even if Wessa happened first. And I don't think it is disrespectful or cheating to remarry or find another love after one has ended.

I read criticism about them and how they don't live up to the same version as they were in TID, but i think living hundreds of years does that to you. And i don't think it's the fault of anyone in the pairing to 'bring out' the best in the other, but they can also be very changed people from when they were young. This criticism that they aren't great together later on in life is rooted in their own way of dealing with immortality AND THEN each other. I think what is a pity is that it isn't explored as well as Magnus's immortality has shaped his life which i think again, puts Jessa at a disadvantage. Magnus' continuity as I explained before is given a wider girth than Jessa which is why he is my preferred immortal. But then again, what would Magnus do, if he was immortal forever with his ship? He would be a very changed person he wouldn’t be his own comedic relief that’s for sure. In fact, Camille was not wrong when she said that immortality changes your relationship greatly. Where she fucked up was treating poor babygirl Magnus like shit just in general lol, and being immortal doesn't mean u have to be an asshole. I think immortality truly did a number on Jem and Tessa, irrespective of each other and has not a lot to do with Jem or how he treats her, but a lot about how how Tessa and Jem are quite literally a hundreds of year old great grandma and gramdpa hahahahaha.

But if Will were still alive or immortal like Tessa, would Tessa still be with him now that she has the option of being with Jem forever? Again, we are stripped away from that option because the circumstances decided over the characters. But I do think she would still chose Will.

Final question is, would Herongraystairs actually work? The answer in CC's eyes and again, the occam's razor answer is obviously 'yes'. In fact Tessa herself in Book 3 said it is entirely possible to be in love with 2 people at once and I think poly relationships are a beautiful thing. But is it the easiest and first answer, or is it the TRUE answer? Again, that we will never know bc Tessa's decisions on this matter are in response to the environment she is in, not because she truly believes it.

It is very clear that Will is written all across Tessa's mind in Book 1, and is what she thinks about 24/7. There were times where i was like, "girl just go up to him and JUST EXPLODE UR FEELS ON HIM UR GIVING ME A HEADACHE". But the plot just so conveniently every time they had a moment alone, would get 'interrupted' and the moment was gone. Only after in response to this mess of a situationship, did she go for Jem bc of his ease and what he represented (which we talked about before^) but it wasn't equally organic. It was in response to what happened with Will. Truly we all know, that Tessa would not have even considered Jem, if Will and Tessa decided to be a couple and engage by book 1. And I hate that Jessa read to me as second best, instead of a true, equal 1st place like Wessa. Which is would have to be, in order to have a Herongraystairs. I don't like that CC made Jessa collateral, but tbh i think she didn't know how to chose in the making of TID. So instead of choosing or rewriting the relationship so that both ships were dealt with equally, she made the events of the plot decide for the characters instead.

In defence of CC, a lot of our lives happens in response to our surroundings and circumstances instead of pure Free Will. Which might ironically make Jessa and Wessa and Herongraystairs even more realistic than maybe the idyllic cleanly chosen choices. Life moves fast and we can barely respond to it in time. And what matters most at the end, is that all three of these characters love each other dearly and would be there for each other no matter what. However, the way the plot was almost TOO conveniently choosing everything instead of the characters making hand on heart choices, swings us back to being a bit too unrealistic.

I truly, really love Jessa and I would marry Jem myself lol, but I really disliked the way it wasn't dealt with fairly. I am happy that they end up together at the end, I just didn't like the way they went about it. I would be more sold on Herongraystairs if it was dealt with more evenly instead of the other side of the poly v, instead of being collaterally contingent to the happenings of Wessa. Who knows, CC said that Jessa will re-encounter Will again and not in shadowhunter heaven so i wonder if there is any ability to clean this all up. But bc of the way CC wrote Jessa over how i WISHED she wrote them, Jessa is not in the top 5 ships for me unfortunately. It's def top 10 (and for sure over Clare lol) probablly like 7th place but not top 5. I think there are other relationships in the Shadowhunter fandom that are written a lot more cleanly where the characters are given by CC more autonomy in their choices which makes it easier to follow along. Not to mention get their POVs.

I cannot wait for your own lovely essay on our fav Jem @imabitchforjemcarstairs ! I hope my re-mentioning of it doesn't come across as antsy or like i'm trying to 'remind you' passively lol. Which would be awfully rude. As you can tell, I took my time to reply to this one :). My intention is one of pure excitement, fandom-ing over it and showing support.

art credit: @giannyfili on instagram

#phew wrote this for over an hour! #i hope it was worth the read! #even though this is literally NOTHING u asked for #literally who asked Emma #don’t take a shot every time I say ‘collaterally contingent’ bc u will be drunk by the end of the essay lol #but we have talked about it before! And i finally found the time to give you my unsolicited two thoughts on our favs :) #Justice for Jessa lol #not anti-Jessa just want a better written Jessa #shadowhunters #not anti-jessa #I love jessa #just want a better WRITTEN jessa #Wessa is baby girl tho #muah