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rason-rodd · 3 years

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Do You Know Your Alphabet?

NSFW Edition feat Jason Todd

(I tried not to give a sexual orientation to Jason in this NSFW Alphabet and make his partner as gender neutral as possible to please all sorts of readers. Apologies if some part doesn’t include all genders. I honestly did my best and I will happily modify them if you tell me how.)

A – Anal: When he is dating someone with a vagina, Jason rarely asks for anal sex. He prefers pussy to ass but if his partner wants him to use the back door he will happily do so. However, his partner has to keep in mind that Jason always needs to be very testosterone-y and in full-dominant mode to fuck them in the ass. In a relationship with someone with a penis, Jason will usually be the one who fucks in the ass rather than the one who is fucked in the ass though he can accept to swap roles from time to time.

B – BDSM: That will be a non-negotiable “NO”. Even though he is fully aware that BDSM doesn’t only rhyme with pain but also with consent and pleasure, Jason is not a fan of it as hinted and stated many times in Red Hood and The Outlaws. We can suppose that it is because BDSM can let some poorly buried trauma surface by reminding Jason of bad memories that includes ropes and a crowbar.

C- Condom: Only when needed. Like most men, Jason doesn’t like the lack of sensation that wearing a condom involves but he is smart and responsible enough to know there are moments when you need to wear one. At a beginning of a relationship, he will always choose to wear one until he is sure that there are no risks to transmit any sort of STD. But once he knows everything is safe he will gladly ask his partner to either stop using protection and/or take contraception like a pill if said partner can get pregnant. Being a father is not in his plans and it actually scares him.

D- Dominance: Jason is a caring and highly protective boyfriend with fear of abandonment issues and those traits ultimately makes him a very possessive lover. And it shows in bed. His possessiveness coupled with his passion and devotion to his SO makes him the type of man that permanently tries to assert his dominance. But this so-called dominance is not a way to show who’s the man in this relationship or who’s wearing the pants. It is just a clumsy way to show that he is a fully committed and devoted lover who is always struggling to please his partner out of fear of not being good enough and eventually abandoned. (Who said men were not complicated sometimes?) Moreover, Jason fucks according to his mood and so his dominance always varies. Sometimes dominance can simply mean him on top and sometimes it can be synonymous of hard deep pounding from behind. Jason can indeed be a rough lover but he will never be the type to lay a hand on his SO. So you can forget any sort of slap or strangulation. He is a fighter in the streets but a lover under the sheets. But submission is very rarely his thing. Sure he will adore making love with a partner as passionate as he is and will forever be turned on by someone who can match his strength and therefore who will not mind standing up to him. But if you think you can tame him forever you’re so wrong. Jason will occasionally let you lead the way in the bedroom and he will be happy to let you do so as he will see your sudden dominance the same manner he sees his (meaning a symbol of love and devotion). But any relationship in which the place of alpha male is permanently refused to him will leave him unsatisfied and frustrated.

E- Ejaculation: One thing is sure; Jason can’t cum in a condom. When wearing one, he will always make sure to remove it to spurt his semen on his partner. Most of the time it is on their ass, chest or pussy. He will generally never cum on someone’s face though but will see no problem in cumming in someone’s mouth for as long as they swallow that load. But what he loves the most is to cum inside his partner (which is also another reason why he is not a fan of condoms). He finds a certain pleasure in doing so, finding the act rather intimate and weirdly romantic. He would never cum inside someone he doesn’t love or barely know.

F- Foreplay: Jason never forgets foreplay even if his body begs him to just fuck his partner and get it over with. To him, foreplay is necessary when you do the deed. Without that Jason will feel like something is missing and view the sexual act as botched. But to Jason Todd foreplay doesn’t only revolve around handjobs, fingering, oral sex or any other physical display. Of course he will happily do all of that but Jason is an intellectual and so he will definitely consider words as a form of foreplay. And sometimes they even arouse him more than the rest. Few naughty text messages telling him how much you miss him and his cock inside of you and the man will run back to you as fast as The Flash, his penis as hard as a stone pillar. And when that happens, you might get yourself prepared, as he won’t take much time to kiss or cuddle.

G- Gear and tool: Mother Nature blessed Jason Todd and gave him one hell of a cock that matches his broad physique! It is veiny and circumcised, long, way longer than average actually, and its girth is going to stretch and fill any hole perfectly. But this beautiful gear is not always a blessing. Indeed, you cannot take Jason’s whole cock in your mouth without gagging or chocking (though some people don’t mind that) and if you’re not lubed enough penetration can definitely hurt. So playing with that amazing tool demands patience and time. His testicles are even and rather large when you think about it but they suit the P.

H- Hairs: Jason is a hard-worker but he is extremely lazy when it comes to taking care of himself. Plus, that laziness is also coupled with the fact that he doesn’t have much time to really mind his appearance. When he is monopolized by his vigilante work, he can spend days without shaving (and sometimes showering) and not really realise that he is in an urgent need of a razor. A chance that he is not a man that tends to be very hairy! But to be honest, Jason doesn’t mind hairs in general and there are actually places he refuses to shave like his legs, his arms and the sexy line of dark hairs he has under his bellybutton. But when he actually takes time to clean and shave, he always makes sure that his armpits are not bushy, that there are no hairs on his chest and his face and that his pubic hairs are nicely trimmed (He hates shaving them.) When it comes to his partner, Jason can tolerate some hairs but he prefers when they are either fully-shaven or well-trimmed. He doesn’t like eating hairs when eating his SO out.

I- Intimacy: Jason is very ambiguous and difficult to understand when it comes to intimacy. As a possessive lover, he will always refuse to share his partner with another ‘alpha male’. He needs to be the centre of attention and the only person craved and praised in the bedroom. So when dating Jason you can forget any sort of threesome or orgy. But if his partner is interested in welcoming a person that might not overshadow Jason and let him keep his dominant place between the sheets (for example a woman) then he may accept. Single, he will happily mingle with a couple but he will somewhat see this as a competition or an opportunity to show who’s the best. But there’s definitely something that he will prefer to threesomes and that’s being watched or heard while having sex. No, he won’t drag you to some swinger’s club and allow dozens of people watch you two having sex (he is a romantic) but you need to keep in mind that Jason is a man that doesn’t limit his sexual intercourses to his bedroom. He actually loves fucking outside and/or in public places as the risks of getting caught or being heard have the tendency to get him highly turned on and have his juices flow. But he is not stupid enough to risk everything for a quick romp in front of others. Weirdly, he prefers getting caught/ being heard by people he knows - and in that case he will not stop fucking his partner and show what an amazing lay he is – than by someone he doesn’t know. It boosts his ego and he can’t help it. The only time getting caught traumatized him was when Alfred accidentally spotted him having sex in the manor. He didn’t dare catch his eye for days.

J- Jerking off: Jason can sometimes jerk off when he feels like he needs to release some stress and tension. But this solitary act requires a moment of intimacy he doesn’t often get because of his vigilantism that takes up all of his nights and energy. After a long night of patrol, given the choice, he will mostly choose sleeping over masturbation. But when he does jerk off, he always makes sure that no one is going to bother him (though he has fantasise about his crush watching him quite a few times) and he tends to think about situations rather than persons. The only times he will think about someone while masturbating will be when he has a crush on someone. Then he will imagine fucking this person and probably whisper their name.

K – Kink: Jason can be kinky but he is not the kinkiest of the bat-family. There are things he will stubbornly never try or even consider (BDSM for example) but things he will gladly do on occasion (see Intimacy + Roleplay). As said before he won’t mix violence and love. But the kinky side of Jason is just another way to spice up his relationship and show he is not a boring partner. Moreover, he is a boyfriend that takes consent and respect very seriously. He will never do anything that might hurt his SO in any way or anything they might not be confortable with. That’s why he believes he and his partner have to talk about any sort of kinks before trying to experiment them. But he will prefer doing it through text messages than face to face. He is weirdly shy when talking about sex.

L - Love: Jason has had a few one night stands but he will admit that sex is better when you’re in love. Plus, “sex gets better with time” would define Jason’s skills as a lover as he is the type of man that needs (and loves) taking his time to discover his partner’s body and desires. He is an enthusiastic learner that hasn’t yet discovered all the things he can know about sex. And that’s because he hasn’t had so many partners over the years. Though don’t think that means your first time together is going to be bad. It won’t. On the contrary, it will be great but not as great as it can become. Therefore we can jump to the conclusion that the persons that will only have Jason for one night will definitely miss something truly amazing.

M - Massage: Jason has many qualities but giving massage is not a talent he can brag about. He is honestly not that bad at it but since he believes he sucks, he will not initiate in any sort of massage session. However, he loves getting one since he loves being touched and caressed especially on his chest and back. Actually, Jason believes that caresses and cuddles cannot be dissociated from the deed and views them as necessary before, during and after the act. Also, he is the kind of men that will display his affection anytime he can though preferably in private. The rare PDA will occur if he feels jealous, threatened or worse, neglected (Don’t ever do that or the entire city will hear his wrath!).

N – Nudity: When he is in a relationship Jason is not ashamed of his body but that doesn’t make him a body-confident man in general. Don’t expect seeing him walking around fully naked! Indeed, Jason is modest and never sees his body as sexy. I mean, he knows he is muscular and well-built and all but as it is in his nature to focus on the negative, he will always be a bit hung up about the scars on his body and he will never let a one-night partner touch them or ask any sort of question about them. Only his SO will be allowed to do so and that shows how much trust and love Jason places in his relationships.

O – Oral sex: To Jason, there’s nothing sexier than his partner sucking out his cock on their knees. It gives him satisfaction and boosts his ego like nothing else because he views this act as a symbol of submission and worship, two things he deeply cares about when having sex. Fortunately he loves to reciprocate and he will not hesitate dropping on his knees to do the same. But don’t view it as him submitting to you. If that gorgeous man goes down, he goes down to make you scream his name, not to be your pet. Also, it may be seen as an asshole move but if you refuse to suck his cock, do not expect him to give you oral sex. As terrible as it sounds and even though he puts his partner’s pleasure before his own, the man gives if only you give in return.

P – Position. Jason is a romantic that craves touching and being touched and so he will always favours positions that allows him to feel his SO’s body against his or to roam their bodies with his strong hands or his lips. That’s why he will not appreciate being tied up and submitted. Jason loves positions that allow him to go deep in his partner and to see himself do so. Plus, he likes sex to be a confortable experience for both his partner and himself. Therefore do not expect acrobatic positions that will leave you tired and aching for days. He doesn’t need that to make you feel that way. His top positions are: missionary, doggy, (reverse or not) cowgirl and spooning as they will all permit his hands and/or lips to wander your body.

Q – Quickie: Jason is not really a fan of quickies as he want sex with him to be a memorable experience as well as a memento of his skills as a lover. Therefore, he strongly believes a 5 or 10 minutes sexual experience cannot show his partner what a good lay he is. And so, he will favour long nights of sweaty sex plus some good morning sex if the experience was highly pleasant.

R – Role Play: Jason is a good actor. He loves wearing disguise and impersonating different persons as we saw it quite regularly throughout RHATO. So if you want to role play, you bet he will be up for it and it will be a fun time. His favourite scenarios: the ones where he is in charge of course since they are the ones that allow him to display the little confidence he has without any sort of shyness or fear. Do you like men with a moustache? Cause Malone Jr. is on his way.

S – Stamina: Jason is kind, caring and generous out and under the sheets. He will always make sure to respect and please his partner, placing their pleasure before his own. But that doesn’t make him any less hungry than he is. He is rather insatiable when having sex and that’s probably because he doesn’t have sex often even when in a relationship (damn patrols!). Therefore, that man can sometimes get carried away, be rather quick on the mount and become a bit of a jackhammer if his partner does not refrain him. And he won’t stop until he … you know. Fortunately, his romantic side as well as his generosity will always remind him not to leave his partner unsatisfied at the end of the deed which miraculously doesn’t happen as quickly as one would expect given his frenetic pace. Because he is athletic, Jason has a very good stamina. Plus, he is the kind of lover that can recuperate rather quickly and so he can go for a round two and even a round three if his partner is up for it.

T – Talking: Jason doesn’t consider himself a dirty-talker. Sure he will let out some naughty sentences while having sex but they will never be disrespectful. He won’t call his partner a whore or any other insulting words. On the contrary he will give compliments and make praises rain and he will happily accept the same from his partner in return. He will also ask a lot of questions to reassure himself like “Do you like that?” or “Do you like my cock inside of you?” and he will also demand to be complimented (“Tell me how much you like it”) especially if his partner is silent (which is something he hates by the way). He is not a very noisy lover. He never screams or moans loudly. He grunts and growls but those noises usually are very guttural as if he is fighting to keep them to himself. Don’t do the same though. Scream, talk and let the whole neighborhood he’s fucking you good!

U – Underwear: Trunks or boxers but never briefs. Something that can hold his prominent package while he is running after criminals in Gotham City but that isn’t too tight around his thunder thighs. His underwear is generally unicolor and has no patterns. Dick bought him a pair of bat-briefs for fun once but he never wore them. Actually he probably threw them away. He likes his female partners to wear sexy fancy lingerie but he doesn’t see it as a necessary tool to be aroused. Simple underwear doesn’t turn him off but if there are some unicorns or rainbows on them … well … he might feel very uncomfortable and perplexed.

V – Virginity: He was around 16 or 17, living among the All-Caste and it was with Essence, Ducra’s daughter. Essence was Jason’s almost every first-times. Though she is not the first person he fell in love with, she was the first girl he kissed, the first girl he touched and the first girl he had sex with. Before that he had never really made out with anyone, as young Jason was the kind of boy more interested in books than in people. But Essence wasn’t just anyone. She was mysterious, fascinating and hard to get and those two traits are still something that Jason digs in a partner. If you ask Jason about his first time, he will tell you that even if he and Essence are not on best terms today, he doesn’t regret one bit of what happened with her. He truly loved her and she was here for him when no one else was.

W – Worship If you don’t know how to be complimentary then you might not be the right person for Jason. This man craves compliments and affection as much as one craves food and water. Jason cannot thrive in a relationship with a selfish partner who doesn’t flatter him as he always feels the need to be worshipped. It’s not arrogance. It’s because he is permanently scared of not being good enough. See him as an unconfident little boy who needs recognition to be happy in a way. But once you start demonstrating your admiration and affection for him, get ready to be showered with loving compliments. Worship goes in both ways in Jason’s mind. The more complimentary and loving you will be the more he will. And that works in the bedroom as well. Worship the man! Show him (and tell him!) how much you love him and how much you love what he is doing and you will be the most sexually satisfied person in the world. To make it short, worship is Jason’s fuel. To finish, If he could worship one part of his lover’s body it would be their eyes. (Told you he was a romantic!). He loves to keep eye contact with his partner while having sex and see them sparkle with lust, pleasure and happiness.

X- Xenophilia: If you look at Jason’s list of love interests, you can spot some recurring characteristics. Physically, most of them have light hair. They are often blonds or red-heads and they often have got green or blue eyes. But that doesn’t mean he won’t be interested in brunettes (Talia, Donna) and reject anyone with dark eyes (Essence’s eyes were completely black!). Because what matters the most to him is chemistry. Jason wants someone he can trust, someone he can talk to and that will understand him but that also will call him on his bullshit and stand up to him when needed. In a word, be strong and be there for him.

Y – Yearn: Unlike someone else in the bat-family (cough Dick cough), Jason will not drop his pants in a heartbeat and he doesn’t really fancy eager persons as well (Those persons are only good for one night). He loves the chase and he loves when the people he is interested in are playing hard to get. That will arouse him a lot and make him crave them even more. When he wants to have sex, Jason will drop occasional hints to show his (potential) partner that he wants them. Usually, they will be caresses, kisses and/or languorous looks. He will never clearly say out loud that he wants to have sex. But he doesn’t mind when his partner drags him to the bedroom and initiate the deed. He finds that terribly sexy even, and super complimentary.

Z – Zzzzz: Jason likes to sleep after sex with his naked partner huddled against him. Rest your head over his chest and hold him tight and he will be the happiest man in the world as, to him, it will mean ‘Stay. I feel safe with you’. But don’t expect to sleep all night especially if your relationship is brand new. You wanted Todd in your bed? You have him and he will not hesitate waking you up slowly if he wants to get in between your legs one more time. Hope you don’t mind. Plus, Jason is not the “hump and go” type of man and he will always be there in the morning with his body probably pressed against yours. Though, if you’re a night stand there are risks he might never call you again.

#Jason Todd #red hood #headcanon #do you know your alphabet

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centrally-unplanned · 3 years

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Allocating Your Aesthetic Budget: Sailor Moon Edition

Sailor Moon is a show that undoubtedly built a powerhouse of a visual brand. Should I even bother posting a screenshot of the sailor scouts, given that I am 100% confident anyone reading this can recall them instantly? I guess it won’t hurt:

Anime is often really good at creating iconic designs like this, through repetition of the visuals. It is awkward in live action shows if characters just wear the same outfit every scene (what, they only own one outfit? Are they homeless/work in the tech industry?), but animation gives us enough aesthetic “distance”, an awareness that this isn’t accurate to real life, that you can buy into the conceit. By wearing the same outfit every time, it just becomes the character. Not to mention a studio can really save quite a few bucks by streamlining production with neat tricks like having only one character design to animate - when you are on a shoe-string budget, like pretty much every anime in the 90’s was, every cut corner counts.

What is interesting about Sailor Moon is that most of the time it doesn’t really use this conceit at all.

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Episode 15 of Sailor Moon’s first season has, in its opening act, this shot of all of the Senshi (at the time) talking to the plot-of-the-day character, who clearly trains rock Pokemon in 16-bit caves in his off hours:

If you knew nothing about these three characters, you could probably infer about 80% of their personality just from their outfits. Usagi (the blond one in the middle, if that's necessary) is wearing:

Light pastel colours, with pink on top of that: girly, feminine, bubbly and breezy

Short-but-not-too-short of a skirt, and red heels: cares about fashion, wants to project an image of being a woman with a romantic hint to it

Long-twin tails w/ buns: Contrasting the shoes, she is still immature and childish. It also means she is the protagonist of an anime

Rei (far right) rocks a very different look:

T-shirt and jean shorts, shoes over heels: sensible, practical, a bit sporty

Very short shorts, long black hair: Confident, a bit aggressive, and suggestive of a more overt sexuality

Ami (far left) settles into a more restrained vibe with:

Full, long, but sleeveless dress, bob-cut hair: Chaste, more conservative, but not to the point of prudishness; particularly with the length (and the hand posture, shielding her body) probably a bit shy

Monochrome blue colour in outfit & hair: reserved, serene, possessing a calm demeanor

I know I have seen the show already, but really none of these details are a stretch - this is just the language of fashion. And all of these outfits are outfits that the characters have never (or rarely) worn before up until this point. The cast of Sailor Moon, far from that animation conceit of “standard outfits”, change clothes all…

the….

time.

I just randomly clicked on episodes to find these, it requires no hunting

And while it isn’t always as spot on as the top picture, they all in some way embody the language of visual design to speak to the personality of the characters. If you want to see more, check out one of the multiple tumblrs dedicated to the everyday clothing the Sailor Senshi wear, because of course those exist.

If this was a 2010’s Kyoto Animation show, pointing this out would be the end of it - every one of their shows has this level of impeccable detail. Sailor Moon is notable in that it is not at all that kind of show; the animation and designs in Sailor Moon take perpetual shortcuts to get the job done. I don’t think the transformation sequences need to be belabored - the way they permitted the team to recycle identical animation sequences, multiple times per episode, was surely a godsend to the production schedule. Yet not all of the budget limitations are so prettily masked:

I’m sure they finished the background art in the...VHS release?

The show is filled with dirty animation, unfinished backgrounds, backgrounds that are a simple color gradient for no clear reason, and so on. It is clear that the Sailor Moon team did not have the resources for every detail - which is why the decision of what details they did choose to prioritize is so interesting.

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What is the point of Sailor Moon? I do believe that shows have “points”; and by that I don’t mean a message or theme but a core appeal to an audience, something specific that they will get out of the show. Almost every show appeals along multiple axes, and Sailor Moon is no exception, but I want to focus on one: aesthetic identification.

If you learn someone is a Sailor Moon fan, there is the obvious follow-up question you have to ask, namely “which Sailor Senshi are you?” It’s the which-Harry-Potter-house-are-you question of anime, a horoscope where you can choose your sign (in this case literally). The premise of this concept is not hard for media to execute on - it is just personality traits and aesthetics grouped together under a label, a basic building block of media and clickbait internet quizzes. Harry Potter, ironically, raised up its memetic question almost by accident, as its focus is so squarely on House Gryffindor that the others are almost forgotten; it was just so mind-bogglingly popular that it didn’t matter.

Sailor Moon, however, takes this concept and allocates so much of its aesthetic budget into making it a centerpiece of the show. Sailor Moon herself is a klutzy, lazy romantic, Sailor Mercury is a shy, earnest bookworm, and so on, with none of them ever really becoming very complex characters. However, the show devotes itself to making you *feel* these archetypes as strongly and intricately as possible. All of those outfit changes are chosen because not only do real girls care about their outfits and can therefore identify more strongly with characters who do the same, but so they can constantly emulate their archetype in diverse, different ways. The show doesn't have the budget for intense action scenes, so after Sailor Moon engages in her hyper-serious transformation sequences, she proceeds to, nearly every time, bumble through the combat scenes like this:

Oh sure, the scenes are done this way because it is funny (and good comedy can be done on any budget - these shots are frequently still frames with motion lines!), but it is also done this way because Sailor Moon is a total screw-up, and if you identify with that it is validating to see someone “just like you” able to pull off wins despite it all. The transformation sequences are not only beautiful animation that showcases aspirational power, but are also crafted to highlight the personalities of the Senshi in question - unless you think aggressive, combative Rei got fire powers by coincidence. Half of the run-time of every episode is spent, not on the plot du-jour, but on light-hearted personal squabbles between the cast because those scenes are not just funny, but also allow for far more moments of character expression.

All of that work pays off in building with the audience, not a connection with a character who reflects their identity in total, but a connection that reflects one aspect of their identity in an extremely deep (dare I say multifaceted?) way. I think if you were to describe Sailor Moon as a “shallow” show, you would actually be right to say so, in a sense. These characters will never have the true depth of personality, themes and so on of a more ‘adult’ show. But those adult shows have to spend their effort somewhere - for all that the themes of say Evangelion or Paranoia Agent are pristinely detailed and impactful, you aren’t ever going to be memorizing the moves of their transformation sequences. The way Sailor Moon committed so strongly to fleshing out the archetypes the Senshi stood for is, I think, one of the keys to how this cast of five became so iconic.

Not even their school uniforms match! They had to spend time in-universe *justifying* this!

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A Final Note:

At least, everything I’ve said here applies to Sailor Moon at its peaks. The show, however, is not one without its stumbles, even in Season 1. This section doesn’t flow into the core essay too well, but I wanted to note it because if you were to watch Sailor Moon today, you might struggle to feel the dynamic outlined above. The biggest culprit here is the length - Season 1 is 46 episodes long, and sections of it most certainly drag. They also take a startlingly long time to introduce the cast - this choice builds tension around their arrival, but it also means the later Senshi get a lot less time to establish themselves. Sailor Venus in particular gets hamstrung by this - she is introduced and then immediately arc plot elements sweep the narrative, and so she is left as a hollow shell for some time. The pacing of the show is undoubtedly flawed.

I think Sailor Moon is a show that you do have to keep its time and place in mind for - namely, middle schoolers and anime nerds watching it on broadcast TV in the 90’s. As an adult you “get” the point of the show pretty quickly, and get satiated on it almost as fast. Watching it all in a few sittings only heightens this problem. For a younger audience, and one that is waiting for a week between episodes with no internet for plot reminders, all that extra time is needed to jog memories and build connections. And younger audiences just have that limitless commitment to the things they love! If you think no one could actually enjoy seeing the same transformation sequence for the 30th time, watch it with someone who would have died for this show when they were 10 and you will be disabused of that notion *very* quickly.

Still, we can’t travel back in time - Sailor Moon is a show of its era. There are “filler-reduced” guides out there, though I caution that the plot of Sailor Moon is absolutely not the point of the show in comparison to the character dynamics, and so sometimes the filler is the best part (Cat-Rhett Butler is the best character in the show YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT). Certainly, however, some method must be used to cut down on its length. If you are going to be a first time viewer in adulthood, that reality should be kept in mind, and if you do accept it for what it is you can really appreciate its core appeal - and don’t forget to finish it off with a 1990′s era internet personality quiz to really wrap it up!

#essay #anime analysis #sailor moon

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forasecondtherewedwon · 4 years

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Mate in Three

Pairing: Beth Harmon/Benny Watts Rating: M Word Count: 2653

Summary:

It's not a matter of if Beth can seduce Benny, it's a matter of when.

The first thing Beth decides is that it doesn’t matter whether Benny knows she’s doing it on purpose. Not for a moment does she believe herself to be wilier than him, therefore her attempts to seduce him cannot go unnoticed. She’s already revealed her intentions—at the bar in Ohio—and he’s made his own position clear. Both halves of it. He wouldn’t have needed to put an unambiguous ban on sex if it weren’t at least partly for his own benefit, as a reminder to keep their relationship professional, trainer and trainee. She still smiles to herself over how he reacted when she swept the hair from his eyes. All he’s done is silently place a handicap on her play: she’ll have to accomplish it all without touching him.

The drive to New York is for revision, repetition, exercises, and, amusingly, bonding. Benny’s still Benny behind the wheel, but this is something more straightforward than playing Benny Watts for fans and the press. He’s at ease. He even unstraps the knife from his belt ahead of them setting off.

“For comfort,” he claims, explaining that he doesn’t want the sheath digging into his leg the entire trip.

“Does this mean you don’t believe you need to protect yourself from me?” Beth jokingly inquires.

He holds her teasing stare a second too long and clears his throat as he redirects his attention to the road ahead of them.

It takes her a couple of days to find her feet after arriving at Benny’s apartment. She’s never been to New York and the noises outside are as jarring as the grim interior. Her host trailing the end of that open robe around feels like the equivalent of the smug smirks some of Beth’s earliest opponents wore when they mistakenly supposed they’d made a brilliant move against her. She wiped those smiles off easily enough; proving that Benny’s no match for her shouldn’t be any tougher.

Once she adapts to the lack of natural light inside the space and having to blow up her bed every evening, Beth is ready to commence. Benny’s already training her, started the first morning, but now she shifts to playing a simultaneous. This is the game beneath the game. Sure that she can win, what she’s most curious to discover is how many moves it’ll take. Though the apartment is unelaborate and their lives within the unadorned rooms routine, she finds opportunities. Poverty, followed by the monk-like existence at Methuen—every space communal, precious few meaningful possessions scattered between nearly two dozen girls—has made her wickedly resourceful.

Taking responsibility for feeding them is straightforward. It makes sense for her to buy the groceries as a way of repaying him for letting her stay, plus her numerous pointed looks upon opening a cupboard or the refrigerator to expose the slim pickings have Benny half-convinced before Beth even asks to take over food shopping duties. The only things he’s really attached to (besides coffee) are his morning eggs. She notices. She plots before falling asleep, unfurling scenarios in her mind as she stares at the ceiling and folds her hands over the placket of her satiny pink pajamas. Then, she starts eating his eggs.

“Why do you buy all this other stuff if that’s what you want to eat?” Benny questions, standing next to her at the stove, using a greasy fork to gesture towards the egg she’s frying.

Beth shrugs, surveying as he goes back to scraping at the bacon where it’s sticking to his pan. Even now, his upper body is bare under the robe and she’s suppressing the urge to warn him about the pain of hot splatter. She transfers her weight onto the foot farthest from him and watches the bacon sizzle.

“Maybe I just like eggs,” she says.

And, truly, she doesn’t mind them. However, Beth, who has preferred her eggs scrambled since childhood (a common breakfast at the orphanage and the most tolerable meal they offered), unfailingly prepares every egg at Benny’s over easy.

They take their positions across the table and the board from each other, plates on their laps, coffee always just shy of being knocked to the ground by their propped elbows. She lets him ramble. He seems to enjoy beginning every session with a little chess history—and, of course, the Benny Watts perspective on it. Finally, he moves his first piece with a decisive tap, but Beth concentrates on her egg. She splits it with the side of her fork and quickly moves the bite to her mouth.

Confused by her failure to respond to his opening move, Benny looks up. Beth feels immense satisfaction in witnessing the impatient gaze he shoots at her eyes melt as it drops to the yellow yolk dribbling from the corner of her lips. She wipes at it with feigned embarrassment, as though she hadn’t been pressing the egg against the roof of her mouth with her tongue until she felt the gush.

He blinks and shifts in his seat.

“You going to play or what?”

“Yes.”

Benny wins the first match by too much because she was distracted, but Beth’s loss is bearable to her. She gained ground in the other game. Although he recovered promptly, what she now thinks of as the Egg Variation did get his attention.

When devising the second move of her endgame, she thinks of Harry. His love for her was as plain as the nose on his face, but she suspects that this next tactic will work just as well on someone far less blatant about their feelings. Watching a woman dance must be where concealed lust and transparent devotion meet. Just as she stripped Benny of his queen at the Ohio tournament, she aims to strip him of the persistent disinterest in her that hangs from him like one of his necklaces.

He has a small radio. She’s only ever seen him listen to it in the morning, either sitting on the steps across the room from where she sleeps (presumably trying not to wake her with the noise) or at the table while she’s frying up her provocative prop/breakfast. One night, Beth waits for Benny to turn in, then grabs the radio. She has it on low at first, swaying her head side to side. But when she starts inflating her mattress, the thump of the pump depressing drowns out the music. Well, there’s only one thing for her to do about that.

Eyes on the closed bedroom door, Beth twists the dial to increase the volume. She swiftly sets the radio on the floor and places her foot on the pump, heart fleetly beating. Benny doesn’t come out, so she finishes her task, anticipation mounting. She adjusts the volume again.

Because they left right from Ohio, she traveled with a limited wardrobe. Taking pleasure in both strategizing and dressing herself well, Beth made sure to have the correct clothes clean on the correct day—including today. Especially today. That’s why, when the music sufficiently interferes with his attempt to get to sleep, Benny storms out only to halt in his tracks at the sight of Beth dancing, the navy skirt she wore the day before she trounced him twirling around her thighs.

“Sorry,” she says when she catches him staring. She’s grinning. “We sit all day and I… needed to move.”

“Right now?” he asks, crossing his arms over his bare chest. He taps a finger against his arm and she notices he’s removed his bracelet and ring. It’s oddly intimate to view him without jewellery.

“Well, you don’t give me any other time.”

“That’s because I’m training you to be a chess champion, not a ballerina.”

Benny tilts to rest his shoulder against the wall. He’s still watching her and she’s still dancing, wiggling her shoulders and hips in place, though no longer hopping around. Just meeting his gaze has her out of breath. Do something, she dares him with her eyes.

“Relax, Benny,” she impishly commands. “I promise this won’t make me worse at chess.”

“Will it make you better?”

Beth shuns his challenging tone, swinging around to put her back to him and dancing more vigorously. She almost thinks she hears the smack of his bare feet crossing the floor to join her, but when she turns, Benny’s about to step back into his bedroom. He stops himself though, hand braced flat on the wall. She quits dancing as, slowly, he looks sideways at her. His eyes race over her faster than she can be sure of what he’s taking in. Her skirt and her plan, or just her noisy presence, keeping him awake? As he turns his head and disappears for the night, she spots the way he smiles to himself. She wants to drag him back out here. Instead, with a sigh, she shuts off the radio.

She can feel it—she can always feel a victory. Her self-assurance in this talent has never been rattled. When Benny beat her in Vegas, it didn’t surprise her. No, she watched it coming from half a dozen moves off, which was enough to lend his win the same terrifying inevitability as the oncoming truck that met Beth’s mother’s car on a bridge and killed her on impact. Beth was as incapable of escaping defeat at the US Open as she was of grabbing the wheel from the backseat and steering her mother to safety. The sense of an approaching victory is free of what-ifs and regrets. It simply is.

Following the employment of the Egg Variation and the midnight dance, she’s certain the seduction requires a single move more. And she’s US Champion Beth Harmon. She has just the thing.

The abominable dearth of privacy where the shower is concerned makes it an obvious choice. Too obvious? In her mind, no more obvious than engaging Benny in a trading of queens in Ohio after being defeated by him in that same manner in Las Vegas. His ego made him believe he was invincible, blind to the fact that Beth would never make the same mistake twice. Equally keen to avoid a blunder here, she gives the backdrop of the strike that will be her last a good test run. And tries not to enjoy it too much. (Outwardly.)

Usually, she collects her clothes for the day—or pajamas, when she showers at night—and places them next to the shower. Close enough to reach, far enough to avoid the rogue spray that makes it past the curtain. Hidden by that same curtain, Beth towels off, then sticks an arm out to snatch up her clothing and dress in everything but shoes before stepping out. During her test run, Beth forgets to bring her clothes. She dries herself like normal, then, when she hears the door to Benny’s bedroom snap open, presents herself with his threadbare towel twisted around her, the end tucked in beneath her arm. She blinks at him as though startled and laughs with modest embarrassment.

“Forgot my—”

“Oh,” he says and steps back, practically trips back, slamming the door.

Beth waltzes across the room, head held high to breathe the air of imminent conquest. She almost begins to hum. What must he be thinking as he keeps himself caged in his room? Is he frozen or pacing? Running his fingers through his hair or his palm over his mouth? Has he flung himself to the far back of his bedroom, as far from her as he can get, or does he wait just inside the door, battling every second against the compulsion to wrench it wide?

“Just you wait,” she singsongs under her breath, smiling as she wrings water from her hair and pops on a headband.

After the trial comes the play for all the marbles (as her mother would’ve said). Beth doesn’t wait, doesn’t grace Benny with any time to cool down and get a handle on his refusal to acknowledge her as a potential sexual partner. The very next time she showers, she forgets the towel.

“Benny?” she shouts.

She’s knows he’s preoccupied; he was reading a book—on chess, what else—when he retreated to his bedroom for her privacy. His belated answering shout confirms that she’s only won a piece of his attention. Beth bites her lips together to discourage herself from smiling.

“…Yeah?”

“Could you come out here? I need your help.”

Controlling her expression, Beth pokes her head around the edge of the shower curtain.

“Well,” she hears him say loudly as his door opens, “that’s the first time you’ve said—”

His eyes scan the room for her and, locating her, he sighs. She gives him a delicate wave, just a fluttering of her fingers.

“Hi, Benny.”

“Yeah,” he responds heavily. “Hi.”

“I forgot my towel.”

“I bet you did.”

“And? Are you going to get it for me? I’m getting cold.”

She sees him slide his lower jaw to the side in frustration and contemplation, but, raising his eyebrows in a quick flick, he nods. The towel isn’t hard to find; she left it perfectly visible on purpose so he wouldn’t have to waste time searching. He walks towards her, shifting his gaze from her face to the floor and back. She understands the look—it’s that of a person trying to find a way out. They’ve alternated wearing it when sitting across from each other at a chessboard. He stops in front of the shower and extends the towel towards her, wearing a different expression: a man accepting that he’s been outmaneuvered.

“Thanks.”

Her arm shoots out as she takes it from him and snaps the curtain shut again. The reaction is clearly not what he was expecting because she hears him chuckle to himself.

“You’re cruel, Beth.”

She frowns, drying herself with unprecedented speed. She can see his silhouette through the curtain.

“How so?”

“You finally get me right where you want me and then you decide to toy with me.”

The sound of his feet scuffing across the floor reaches her as he walks away. Draped in the towel, she jerks the curtain open and chases him in stuttering steps. He turns and she freezes. Instinct makes her cross her arms behind her back, a habit from childhood that Mrs. Deardorff once told her to break as it made her appear secretive. Which she was.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I had to stretch it a moment longer. I don’t know what made me do it.”

“I do,” Benny tells her, squaring himself to face her fully. He grins. “Revenge.”

“Revenge? But I already—”

“Sure, you took the title from me, but you never got me back for discovering the flaw in your game against Beltik.”

Beth opens her mouth to argue only to close it again in a smile.

“Maybe you’re right.”

“I am, you know. Some of the time.”

He doesn’t disguise how his gaze rides a water droplet running down the side of her neck, over her collarbone, and into the towel after following the swell of her breast. She lets him look, then extends her hand, businesslike.

“Do you resign?”

Benny smiles and grips her hand.

“You play ruthlessly.”

“I play to win,” she corrects.

His fingers tighten around her hand and he tugs her in. Their first kiss has the force of a merciless endgame assault—true to form for them both. The noise that escapes her as the pressure of his mouth on hers tips her head back farther calls out to him. He clutches her against him and she feels the imprint of his hand distinctly through the towel. Unable to push him, she pulls instead, guiding him around until she advances on his bedroom backwards, fingers hooked in the neck of his black t-shirt.

In lieu of a king, Beth topples Benny—straight into his bed.

#my writing #The Queen's Gambit #Beth Harmon #Benny Watts #beth x benny

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journalisticdreams · 4 years

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How Bly Manor was (almost) perfectly splendid

As a big fan of Netflix’s Shirley Jackson adaptation of ‘The Haunting of Hill House’, my expectations for the follow up season ‘The Haunting of Bly Manor’ were extremely high. Personally, the prospect of seeing my favourite actors from the first season returning to endure the horrors of a brand new haunted house, and the unraveling of a new complex story was what I was most excited for. So, did ‘The Haunting of Bly Manor’ satisfy or leave me wanting more?

*SPOILER WARNING*

Rating: 3.5 / 5

Synopsis:

Put simply, ‘The Haunting of Bly Manor’ is a story about a young, American au pair hired by the ‘well-off’ uncle Henry Wingrave to govern his orphaned niece and nephew. As time goes on, odd occurrences ensue and the Manor is revealed to be haunted by a number of trapped souls.

My highlights:

When I first saw Hill House, I didn’t notice the hidden ghosts in the background until I was two episodes in and a friend pointed them out to me. Subsequently, I was highly anticipating the same technique being used in Bly Manor; and it definitely didn’t disappoint. There is something about the subtlety of the ghosts simply standing motionless, the characters being blindly unaware of their presence, that is so scary. It enforces a terrifying and looming atmosphere in the house that even when there isn’t anything particularly scary happening in a scene, a presence of evil lingers constantly. It also implies a heightened sense of how deep-rooted with ghosts the house really is. **

Similarly to the hidden ghosts technique, there is something to be admired in the simplicity of the scares in Bly Manor that is uncommon in many TV series and movies of the horror genre. The programme doesn’t rely on CGI and extravagant FX makeup to scare, it merely uses atmosphere and actual actors to play ghosts which makes it all the more scarier. As a comparison, the success of It Chapter One (2017) resulted in the budget of IT Chapter Two (2019) being over double of the first film in the franchise. By watching the second film, it is clear that the majority of the budget went towards the computerised special effects; this then creates excessively fake scares, producing a more comical than terrifying effect. So, by not being dependent on computerised special effects, the horrors of Bly Manor feel much closer to home and eerily realistic.

Bly Manor uses a narrative technique which I like to call the ‘drip effect’. Essentially, as each episode shows us a mix between a character’s background and slowly building up to a climax, the plot is gradually revealed bit by bit (or drip by drip) until everything all of a sudden clicks into place in an explosive ending. This way, the programme kept me intrigued throughout, leaving me craving that feeling of the last puzzle piece fitting into place. There is nothing more satisfying than your questions of the ghosts’ origins being answered; and in this sense Bly Manor was perfectly splendid.

Two words: Victoria Pedretti. My prayers were answered in season 2 as it showcased much more screen time for Pedretti that I was left craving after Hill House. I knew from her performance at the end of episode 1 that I was in for a rollercoaster of emotions; the way she portrays that genuinely gut-wrenching fear is captivating. By a happy coincidence, her character Dani’s backstory happened to be my favourite, and I truly sympathised with the heartbreak she endured in her past.

Criticisms:

I found ‘The Haunting of Hill House’ so legitimately creepy that after I first watched it, I found the Bent-neck Lady haunting my dreams for weeks after finishing the series. Disappointingly however, Bly Manor did not have the same effect that I was so anxiously (strangely) excited for. Don’t get me wrong, there were definitely jump scares that had me cussing and got my heart racing - like Viola’s hands reaching out of the treasure chest to strangle her intrusive younger sister from the arms of her old gowns, which was more than effective - yet these moments were few and far apart. Instead of being scared straight like Hill House, I was left slightly let down (of course, everyone’s horror tolerance is relative, so this may just be a more personal issue!).

Episode 8: The Romance of Certain Old Clothes... oh dear. For me personally, this episode was reminiscent of the Stranger Things episode entitled ‘The Lost Sister’; it felt dragged out and extremely slow paced, and pulled me away from the plot I was much more invested in. Plus, as much as I love Kate Siegel her British accent was hard to sit through. The episode didn’t entirely disappoint, as it did reveal the origins of the lady in the lake - however I found this to be one of its only redeeming qualities.

As the ending rolled around and we slowly made our way back towards the present time of the narrator recounting the stories of Bly Manor, it became much more obvious about the direction in which the show was heading. Personally, I found the reveal of the narrator being an older Jamie, and the wedding being Flora’s with all the remaining characters slightly cliche. In fact, I found it very cliche. After the twists and turns of the series, the last half an hour or so felt like it left so much less of an impact than Hill House - to paraphrase an older Flora, it definitely felt much more like a love story than a ghost story. As I went into the series imagining it to be pure horror, I was left a bit discouraged.

This is honestly ineffable but I didn’t feel as connected to the family dynamic as I did in Hill House. I know I keep comparing Bly Manor to Hill House, but I felt a lack of emotional investment in Bly Manor than I did in its predecessor. I only felt devoted to the relationships in the show toward the very end of this series (I naturally ended up loving Jamie and Dani’s relationship, it’s impossible not to).

Conclusion:

So in conclusion, whilst Bly Manor was beautifully directed and introduced us to some stellar actors (with the acceptation of some pretty bad accents), there were some let downs that took away from the chilling atmosphere of the show. I think it definitely requires an eventual second viewing however, because then you are able to spot potential foreshadowing and understand slightly convoluted plot points like Hannah Grove’s episode a little better as you already know the context.

If you have anything to add, please leave some ideas in the comments!

** I used an article from Screen Rant to help spot the hidden ghosts - it’s extremely useful!

https://screenrant.com/haunting-bly-manor-netflix-every-hidden-ghost/

#haunting of bly manor #netflix #haunting of hill house #tv #horror #ghost story #halloween #tv review #blog

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omniversalobservations · 4 years

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Super Mario 64: Ocarina of Time (2018)

Super Mario 64 is considered to be one of the greatest video games of all time. Its large, imaginative levels and increasingly difficult challenges have defined the 3D platformer genre since its release on the Nintendo 64. Similarly, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time — the first in the franchise with 3D graphics — is considered a classic with a record 99 rating on Metacritic. Both have been celebrated with portable re-releases and a deluge of fan movies, artwork and soundtrack remixes. But never have the two games been combined in a fan-made ROM hack like Super Mario 64: Ocarina of Time.

The unofficial and legally dubious project allows players to traverse Hyrule, the mystical kingdom found in the Zelda series, as Nintendo's portly plumber. The world is a little different to the one found in Link's adventure, however. Hyrule Castle, for instance, is owned by Peach and patrolled by pink Bob-ombs. The Forest Temple, located in the Lost Woods, is filled with colorful Boos instead of flaming skulls. Epona, Link's reliable steed, has been replaced with wooden carriages dragged by overzealous Chain Chomps.

The game is a meticulous recreation of Hyrule inside the Super Mario 64 engine. Kaze Emanuar, a prolific modder, rebuilt every house, dungeon and fairy fountain so it would be recognizable to longtime Zelda fans. Each map was adjusted, however, to accommodate Mario's acrobatic move-set -- unlike Link, the mustachioed hero can wall jump, triple-jump and backflip — and the placement of 170 stars. Some rooms are inaccessible or streamlined so that players can quickly reach the next boss or power-up.

It's a bizarre, but perfectly playable mashup that Emanuar has been building toward for five years. He grew up in the German city of Bremen and discovered emulators — applications that mimic older video game hardware — as a 17-year-old in high school. Most people use emulation to quickly (and often illegally) play titles from their childhood. Emanuar's first exposure, however, was through a Super Mario 64 ROM hack called Star Road. He tried to play it with a mouse and keyboard at first but quickly discovered that a controller was almost mandatory. "Playing Mario 64 mods with keyboards," he explained, is "something you should never do to yourself. If you love yourself, and like anyone, you should definitely go and get a USB controller."

[...]

Emanuar began developing Super Mario 64: Ocarina of Time last August. He was intrigued by large, open world games and wondered if it would be possible to build a similar experience inside Super Mario 64. As a longtime fan of Zelda series, he felt the N64 classic would make a good foundation. So he took the original world map and started planning how his own storyline could weave through it. Super Mario 64: Ocarina of Time hews pretty close to Link's original adventure, but there are plenty of original ideas thrown in too. At the start of the game, Peach tells Mario that Bowser is planning to invade the castle with an unstoppable army. He can only be defeated with 9 Grand Stars that are scattered across time and different locales.

"The last five were all sealed by our ancestors within dungeons that we can't access at the moment," Peach explains to an expressionless Mario. "However, the seals are getting weaker, and with the power of three Grand Stars you will be able to enter the Temple of Time and use the Grand Star of Time to travel into the future, where the seals will be weak enough to be broken."

The story, while imaginative, is far removed from a classic Nintendo game. At the end of the adventure, for instance, Mario fights an older version of Bowser hunched over a grand piano. "I'm an old turtle now," he croaks, "but that doesn't mean you'll have an easy time! I'd love to beat you up one last time for nostalgia, but my children are eager to fight themselves. Go get him!" This twisted version of Nintendo's finest villain will, for some, be seen as blasphemy. But Emanuar has a simple explanation: none of his works is canon. "Each ROM hack is a separate universe," he said.

Development was rather straightforward. Emanuar started with Kokiri Forest — the place where Link starts in Ocarina of Time — and worked forwards through the game. Whenever the modder reached a dungeon, he would stop and start dreaming up puzzles appropriate for Mario. The student soon realized, however, that a direct recreation wouldn't be very enjoyable. Some rooms, for instance, "were just useless" or unnecessarily confusing for the player. That's why only a third of each dungeon is required to beat Super Mario 64: Ocarina of Time. The rest is devoted to optional stars and secrets. "I feel like that's a better fit for modern audiences," he explained, "rather than doing the whole dungeon because people don't have the patience anymore."

The mod was released on March 26th, 2018. The reaction was overwhelmingly positive; multiple streamers and press outlets have covered the game since its launch. But Emanuar isn't done yet. Since Super Mario 64: Ocarina of Time, he's released Portal Mario 64, a game based on Valve's beloved puzzler, and a version of Mario 64 running in 4K at 60 frames-per-second. The modder is now working on a slew of follow-up hacks inspired by PUBG and Fortnite, the romance simulator Doki Doki Literature Club, and others.

Emanuar has considered modding other games, such as the Sega Dreamcast platformer Sonic Adventure. But he's stuck with Mario 64 because of its divisive controls and physics — which he loves — and the sheer amount of hours he's poured into the game. Emanuar is still a student, but he's spent 10 hours each day, for roughly five years, dissecting Nintendo's seminal platformer. "If I was gonna do that with another game," he said, "I would have to spend at least a year of full-time work before I was anywhere near the level I am with Super Mario 64."

The modder makes some money through YouTube and Twitch. However, it's "an awful wage" for the amount of work he puts into each project. In the end, Emanuar is making mods for the love of it. "I really enjoy it still," he said. Nintendo, of course, will never approve — but for countless fans around the world, ROM hacks like Super Mario 64: Ocarina of Time are a beautiful love letter to some of their favorite worlds and characters.

Source: Engadget

(images via YouTube)

#unofficial #Super Mario Bros #Legend of Zelda

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alewyren · 4 years

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tumblr is dead but I’m gonna post my thoughts on Inuyasha here too for archiving purposes. cw for (non-detailed) discussion of sexual assault and suicide wrt kikyo

OKAY. SO. MY THOUGHTS ON INUYASHA. warning for some INCREDIBLY hot takes.

it. sure was a journey. I am not sure if I liked the series overall or not. It had some legit good/touching moments, but it dragged SO LONG and there were a lot of things I thought could've been handled better. But it was fun liveblogging it for sure. And I got NarKik out of it, which snapped me out of my year-long creative dry spell, so it was at least a net positive time investment LMFAO.

I liked... mmmmost of the characters? sango, sesshoumaru, kagura, kanna, naraku, kohaku, K I K Y O, and even kagome were all Good. On the flipside, Inuyasha himself is FUCKING TERRIBLE and he sucks and I hate him. Emotional immaturity ain't cute, he gets everything handed to him on a silver platter, rarely apologizes for being a selfish prick, and the other characters are WAY too forgiving of his bullshit. I got tired of the tsundere het romance cliches between him and Kagome pretty fast, as well as how often he was jealous of her. Like, Kagome's insecurities over Kikyo I can legit understand (despite being #1 Kikyo Fucker). But whenever she's so much as civil with Kouga and Inuyasha's all HANDS OFF MY WOMAN I'm like... dude shut up you two-timing hypocrite. If You Like It Then You Should’ve Put A Ring On It. Credit where credit is due tho, they did chill out over time and some of their moments together towards the end of the series were legit sweet. I'm pretty meh on Inukag overall, and iffy on the resolution of her moving to his era permanently, but that last panel of him greeting her as she came out of the well gave me a Feel.

(Actually, on that note, it... would have been legit kind of hella if the series had ended with Inuyasha himself permanently moving to the modern era? Aside from their friends he had far fewer attachments in his world than she did hers, and there's so much more potential with him having to adapt to the modern era, lol. ALTERNATIVELY, kikyo lives and she switches places with kagome and makes a new life for herself in the modern era. thus letting her truly live as a normal girl. But I'll Get To Kikyo Later. smh)

The premise of the series is actually pretty strong, though of course you can poke holes in it. To my knowledge it was the first isekai anime that really took off, and the driving plot of collecting the Shikon fragments is excellent monster of the week material (though I'm not really a monster of the week fan myself). Also, youkai are awesome. Focusing the series on real-world mythology makes my Shin Megami Tensei heart very excited.

I know the series runs on emotion rather than logic, but I REALLY have some questions here. The fact that the well is explicitly stated to take Kagome back in time rather than to another world makes no sense at all. First of all, where are all the youkai in the present day? Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru are at least a couple hundred years old, right? What happened to them in that 500 year timespan? Surely some creature or another from the series would have naturally survived that long. So what happened? Was there a mass-youkai extinction somewhere along the line? Shouldn't this be cause for concern? Also, do Kagome's time-traveling actions create a stable time loop or a branching timeline? If Naraku won in the past, how would that affect the present? The two eras are just completely isolated from each other and I really don't get it. That kind of stuff. Yeah yeah I know MST3K mantra and all but MAN this bothers me.

Which brings me to Exhibit A of stuff I think should have gone differently: Kagome should have stayed the protagonist, and the modern era should have gotten more focus. Not as in her day-to-day school shenanigans, but stuff touching on the questions listed above. There's just a lot of untapped potential regarding How This Shit Works, rather than confining the story pretty much entirely to the Sengoku Jidai With Youkai. Also there could be plenty of shenanigans with characters OTHER than Kagome and Inuyasha hanging out in the present. LIKE KIKYO. okay yeah my kikyo bias is showing but it would be the perfect opportunity to 1. hide her from naraku (unless he found a way into the present, but that just ties into my previous point), 2. develop her friendship with Kagome. Which would have done both of them wonders. BUT I'LL GET TO KIKYO LATER. (I'm dying imagining Kagome introducing Kikyo to her schoolmates as her cousin and taking her shopping though..... teaching her how to ordinary human... like..... HHH.)

Anyway, Kagome as the protagonist. She was very much the protagonist at the start of the series--she took a more active role in a lot of the monster of the week conflicts, and just had a lot more focus and screentime in general. Then Inuyasha got his sword upgrades and her role in conflicts became reduced to sensing Shikon fragments and occasional use of arrows. It took until the last hundred chapters for her to get ANY sort of substantial power-up, and it felt... unearned? I had been looking forward to her developing her miko powers alongside Inuyasha's youkai powers, and getting bow upgrades to match his Tessaiga upgrades, but it just... didn't happen. Her miko powers having been sealed all along felt like an ass pull, and I wasn't really a fan of the test of character she had to go through in order to get the fancy bow upgrade being solely focused on overcoming her feelings of jealousy towards Kikyo... again... like it's valid for her to feel that way but we've been here already! Surely there's more to her character than this! I think it would've been awesome if she actually got some fights of her own too, and maybe Kaede and eventually Kikyo mentoring her growth as a miko? But as far as canon went, it just felt like she got shallower and less interesting over time as Inuyasha slowly took over the protagonist role and that was a damn shame. Let Kagome be the plucky isekai protagonist she was always meant to be! This, of course, ties in with my assertion that the modern era should have gotten more focus too.

okay, so. it's time. kikyo. Kikyo. I fucking LOVE kikyo, absolutely my fave chara, I was not expecting to love Kikyo this much lmao. All that ship war propaganda was a big fat lie. She has an ASTONISHINGLY mature narrative about the effect of tragedy and trauma on people and relationships, but it was SO under-utilized and shafted in favor of the Love Triangle and Inuyasha's Manpain and I'm FUCKING UPSET. Kikyo was (or at least had the makings to be) the best character in Inuyasha but she was not done justice at all, in this essay I

Like, sit down and think about it. Here we have a woman who lost her parents at a young age, taking on the responsibilities of her household, and training to be a miko on top of it--which in the world of Inuyasha is a very emotionally demanding position that requires her to basically devote her entire life to her duties, ESPECIALLY once she's entrusted with the Shikon Jewel. All while being required to live a life of asceticism and suppressing worldly desires. In short, she basically never had a chance to actually, like. Live. Keep in mind that she was a child/teenager throughout all this (she was 17/18 when she died). That's a LOT of pressure on someone that young.

At this point, she's understandably lonely and depressed, and then along comes Inuyasha. She falls in love with him, gets a taste of a life that would truly make her happy, and has it ripped away. Like, there's some really fucking dark subtext to the whole Onigumo plot. She shows kindness to a random stranger, who proceeds to make a deal with the devil to LITERALLY RAPE HER, and her life is ruined as a result. No, Kikyo wasn't literally raped in canon, because even though Onigumo wanted to rape her Naraku's intentions towards her were... more complicated if still incredibly fucked up, but good lord the subtext is THERE. And as a result of the ensuing incident, believing Inuyasha betrayed her, she straight up KILLS HERSELF. Yes, it was partly to protect the Shikon Jewel, but she did not want to come back to life. Let that sink in. Kikyo was driven to suicide by an incident incited by a man who took advantage of her kindness in order to rape her. (nostalgia critic voice) FAMILY PICTURE!

I'm not gonna pretend Kikyo was the only victim here, though. Inuyasha has pretty clear PTSD from the event too, even after learning Kikyo is innocent. But through his relationship with Kagome, he begins to heal and move on. Then Kikyo gets brought back as a clay zombie, fucks up his whole grieving process, kickstarts the love triangle, you know the story. Kikyo's perspective is actually really interesting to dig into though. She didn't want to be brought back. She's PISSED. Even when the dust settles and she learns that Inuyasha is innocent, the anger and trauma have changed her. She's got a good ol' dose of PTSD herself. She's colder, harsher, engages in risky/self-destructive behavior, and distances herself from her loved ones. Like, think about it. Was there any logical reason she had to separate from Inuyasha and his group to fight Naraku on her own? To keep them in the dark about why she surrendered the Shikon Jewel to Naraku? No. That's a character flaw on HER part. And all this puts real strain on her relationship with Inuyasha. They still love each other, but their mutual trauma has completely changed their dynamic. Their love is based on their past relationship rather than their present chemistry. They don't make each other happy anymore. Neither of them are at fault for that. That's REAL AS FUCK. That's what trauma DOES to people and relationships.

So, yes, I'm a hardcore Kikyo stan who supports InuKag over InuKik. We exist. InuKik does not work as a relationship in the present because they've both changed due to trauma and that's the GODDAMN POINT. It's not a story about true love, it's a story about moving on from first love. The problem is that Kikyo's character is largely confined to her role as a love rival to Kagome. Inuyasha's side of the InuKik narrative, of letting go of the past and healing, is resolved. Kikyo's is not. And boy, I was ABSOLUTELY FUCKING LIVID that the love triangle was resolved through Kikyo's death rather than Inuyasha just... fucking, PICKING KAGOME OVER KIKYO BEFOREHAND RATHER THAN HER NEEDING TO DIE. She can still die after that! I swear, I'm not just salty because my fave died. At least 70% of my favorite charas are dead. I literally don't care anymore. I'm mad that she was killed off in a way that reduced her to being Inuyasha's Woman rather than getting a chance to heal and grow apart from him, as he did from her. And this in turn cheapens the narrative around why InuKik doesn't work as a present relationship to begin with, because he never actually picks present love over past love! He just keeps committing emotional infidelity until Kikyo gets killed off to wrap things up in a neat little bow with no character growth on his part! This shit is why I hate Inuyasha (the character).

Kagome's kindness towards Kikyo also plays a part in why she softens up by the end, yes, but that kindness is entirely depicted as "I want to save her because she's important to Inuyasha and I love Inuyasha." Kagome's character growth in these moments hinges on her picking love over jealousy, NOT through actually bonding with Kikyo. On top of that, Kikyo saving Kohaku over defeating Naraku struck me as out of character (have to show she's not a bad person after all? which she isn't, but still). It definitely made her death feel even more pointless. How come Kohaku gets to live and not her!!! Seriously, the fact that Kohaku gets to live and Kikyo doesn't REALLY rubs me the wrong way. She barely even knew Kohaku! He was willing to die to defeat Naraku! NOT killing Kohaku to defeat Naraku almost cost MORE lives! It could've been a poignant resolution to her character arc, but there wasn't enough buildup for it to be a convincing decision for her to make.

And oh my god, there's SO much wasted potential here. Kikyo's resentment towards Kagome is super understandable, and it's never really explored. Kagome replaced her. Kagome is filling the role she should have filled. What's even left for her except her hatred of Naraku? She asserts that Inuyasha cannot forget her (her being lowkey possessive of him is *chef kiss* my wife is a bitch and I like her so much), and he doesn't, but she still straight up tries to kill Kagome lmao. Like I said they do reconcile, but it's kinda half-assed. Kikyo's feelings are never explored in-depth. She's never truly given a chance to heal and realize that she does have a place in the world beyond her decaying relationship with Inuyasha and hatred for Naraku. That her scarred, flawed existence is still just as fucking valid as Kohaku or Rin or Jaken being able to live after being brought back from the dead. Like lemme stress again that the girl experienced INTENSE trauma and COMMITTED SUICIDE. The notion that she's the only one who needs to die in order to restore the natural order, that her death is beautiful and tragic but necessary, is..... gross, tbh. :U

Like, she can still die, lmao. IMO it'd be legitimately more interesting if she lived, if she had an opportunity to carve a place for herself outside of Kagome like Kagome did Kikyo, but it IS possible for her to die without it making ME want to die. Just resolve the love triangle shit first, flesh out some of her relationships outside of Inuyasha himself (ESPECIALLY Kagome), show her healing and softening, and then she can die protecting everyone or some shit. That would've been fine. But No. She just gets killed off for the service of Inuyasha's character, so he can hook up with Kagome guilt-free, with NONE of this addressed. Because it's more palatable for a woman to be dead than broken up with, I guess? I Hate It Here, You Guys.

her (near) last words being "I've finally become an ordinary woman" rubbed me the wrong way too... it like, tried to wrap her character arc up in a neat little bow while ALSO entirely confining its resolution to being Inuyasha's Woman and discarding the narrative of trauma driving them apart. I love the narrative of the girl forced to be inhuman who just wants to be normal. This just felt like... a really cheap way to go about doing that, at the disservice of her character being about OLD love, for a forced (and false) sense of closure. Didn't like it. God fucking damn, typing it all out just made me even MORE pissed off.

tl;dr: kikyo had the makings of an amazing trauma survivor narrative but it got shafted. she deserved everything. thank you for coming to my TED talk.

SIGH. okay. there are other characters I wanna touch on too. Uhhh I actually thought Naraku was pretty cool, though he became way less interesting after Mt Hakurei (for the most part--he was cool again during the direct lead-up to Kikyo's death as well as the final battle). His identity crisis was pretty neat, as was the way he specifically targeted other people's emotions and relationships as a way to compensate for his own utter lack of a sense of self. Not to mention the cold, detached way he regards his own emotions ("my pp stands up whenever i look at kikyo, wish it wouldn't do that :/") and how this leads him to succumb to the influence of the Shikon Jewel, in contrast to Inuyasha and Kagome breaking the cycle. His lack of motivation is actually kind of the point, and I think it's neat as hell! Things got boring once The Baby entered the picture, and I got the sense Rumiko wasn't really sure what to do with Naraku for a while. His style of villainy got a lot more distant and "just as keikaku," when it was the way he got up in everyone's business and pushed their buttons for his own shallow amusement that made me like him in the first place. His fragments aside from Kagura and eventually Kanna were way less interesting, and I think it would've been neat to go more into his role as basically being an abusive dad, but it's fine. The Baby was a fucking boring and atrocious villain though, jfc. The /idea/ of Naraku's own heart rebelling against him was cool enough, but it means jack shit when The Baby is just a bland-ass villain who doesn't remotely represent the character traits that make up Naraku's "heart" in the first place, even aside from Kikyo.

Speaking of which, his fixation on Kikyo is a LOT of fun. Their interactions (which he was apparently secretly into), how he rejected his own humanity and destroyed both himself and the object of his desires, etc. Which is another reason he got less fun after Mt. Hakurei tbh. I fucking hate the way Kikyo's death was handled overall but I liked that he had to reclaim his human heart in order to overwhelm and kill her. That was neat. Something something toxic desire destroying both yourself and the person it's directed at. Then at the very end he realized that his entire existence was completely pointless and empty and his complicated feelings towards Kikyo were the only thing that ever made him actually, like, give a shit. Pour one out for this absolute dumbass. He's a relatable villain because I too would go to absolutely insane lengths to get over a girl I never even dated.

Uhh who else. Sango and Miroku. Sango was my favorite character in the main party. She's the most level-headed of the bunch, has a super cute design, and her story with Kohaku was responsible for a lot of the emotional moments in the series that really landed for me. Her friendship with Kagome was actually super cute and heartfelt. That scene early on where she broke down crying in Kagome's lap because she was scared of being alone again HURT. Also, Kirara is fucking precious. Miroku I've got mixed feelings about, since on the one hand he's a legitimately interesting character and some of his scenes with Sango did hit fairly hard, but DEAR GOD I hate the quirky pervert trope with a burning passion. If it were played seriously, I'd stan him to hell and back a la Adachi. But it isn't, so it's not. I've got mixed feelings about MirSan too. Their resolution was really sweet, but I was kinda like "wha" when Kagome said Sango had a thing for Miroku in the first place. Like, sure okay, but I think more time should've been spent showing her falling for him in the first place lol. Also the butt-grabbing joke got old fast. And when he proposed to her and basically refused to stop flirting with other women I facepalmed so hard. Can't have character growth when you have unfunny running gags! To his credit, he did chill out for the most part, but still kept making jokes about flirting/scoring that clearly made Sango unhappy and I'm like. Why. Then the bit with Hirai-Kotsu needing to be fixed. I liked their mutual resolve to protect each other, but I thought Sango's comment about how she couldn't live without him was..... a bit much. Like what about Kohaku??? But anyway I'm just glad Sango got a happy ending even if I'm still super *SQUINTS* at Miroku.

Sesshoumaru was pretty neat, I get why he's popular, though wasn't really My Type. Sure he's cool, but his /personality/ was a bit lacking and I think we should have gotten some more insight into his relationship with his father for how much focus his quest for the Best Sword got. His development was pretty good, but I've kind of got an issue with how Rin was more of a plot device than a character. Like, okay, one of the reasons I decided to start reading Inuyasha was because the announcement of Yashahime sparked a wave of Sessh/Rin discourse and I wanted to form my own take on it. And, yeah okay I don't like Sessh/Rin either and I say this as a certified Nasty, lmao. Less because it's problematic (though I find it kind of offputting myself, even aged-up) and more because it's bland. Rin has no character whatsoever outside of being a vehicle for his development and I'm REALLY not a fan of girls being objects for male charas' development. Still, I'm not gonna boycott Yashahime if Sessh/Rin is canon or anything. I prefer him with Kagura or even Kikyo but they're dead, so. If Rin has to be his cum dumpster to make this happen, then that's how it's gotta be.

Thats about it I think. I'd put it a rung or two above Naruto in terms of overall quality, but BOY am I still mad abt Kikyo. 6/10 probably wouldn't recommend, but it WAS fun.

#musings

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the-foxes-fangs · 5 years

Text

I Wish I was The Moon Part XII

Tagging the wonderful @louveau, @you-mass-effect-my-dragon-age and @otomediary

Warnings: Fiery speeches, angst

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

“I asked for information, ninja, not your opinion.” Mitsuhide said, drumming his fingers irritably on the butt of his matchlock, staring testily at Sasuke across the sputtering fire he had built in a slightly less burned out corner of the temple.

“And I asked you to give me back my glasses, but here we are.” Sasuke replied wryly, the indignation in his usually impassive expression wasted on the tattered curtain that was receiving it. “I am absolutely never providing EMT services for any warlord going forward. You make lord Kenshin look incredibly polite.” He muttered to himself.

“I don’t suppose I make anything look like much of anything to you at the moment.” Mitshude retorted acerbically. He had lost consciousness, and still felt damnably weak and unsteady despite his racing mind.

“Taking a man’s glasses, that’s unconscionable. I don’t know what I expected from the Akechi Mitsuhide, but still, that’s a dirty trick.”

“Oh, so my reputation precedes me, even into the future.”

Mitsuhide banked the fire, waving away the smoke that flared up from the damp wood as it drifted into his face.

“It’s not like I’d leave the man my bff– for reasons known only to herself and whichever star guides people toward terrible choices– loves.”

“Your what now?” Mitsuhide asked, sharply, eyes narrowed at Sasuke as he considered the revelation of frequent ceiling and floor assisted visits.

“Best friend forever.” Sasuke said reaching up to the blank space where his glasses normally sat as if to push them up the bridge of his nose disapprovingly. “And you have no cause for jealousy, she’s like a sister to me.”

“Yes, I suppose if you’d had designs you could’ve just gone back to your own time together.” Mitsuhide replied. “You said that the fissure would open again, so tell me where and when and I’ll just fetch her myself.”

“I also just told you that that course of action is extremely ill advised, if it’s even possible at all. The potential distortion of space-time–” Sasuke replied, cutting himself off with a sigh.

“Alright, so that’s the least feasible option. We’ll just put that aside for now. What other course of action can we take?”

“I’m afraid I’m otherwise employed and must inform you that I have an extremely binding contractual obligation which regretfully prevents me from joining you in any ill-advised ventures likely to result in dismemberment, severe emotional trauma, beheading or otherwise unspecified bodily harm.” Sasuke countered flatly, reaching for his phantom glasses again and dropping his hand with a noise of displeasure.

“Were you under the impression that you had a choice? I’m afraid not. Keeping you hostage is an absolute necessity.”

“I could take you in a fight right now.” Sasuke said to a patch of white ash on a scorched pillar.

“Oh I have no doubt, but you won’t. I might die, and you’re just ever so slightly more devoted to your bff than Kenshin.” Mitsuhide replied knowingly.

“Dear god, it’s like someone desaturated Shingen and surgically removed his conscience.” Sasuke whispered in horrified awe.

“And If you’re thinking ‘surely lord Kenshin will come for me!’ you should know that I know he doesn’t know you came here, and that I can keep you hidden for years.” Mitsuhide added.

“You really just added a new and disturbing dimension to my relationship with Kenshin right off the cuff there, didn’t you?”

“Spare me the inane chatter, give me options. How do we get her to the wormhole at the right time?” He asked with a gesture that was wasted on Sasuke.

“Leaving aside that we’re well beyond my known timeline, there’s no fail-safe way to ensure that any message you send will survive.”

“If I could just get her back to Tanba…” Mitsuhide said, stroking his chin thoughtfully, thinking of the myriad hiding places he had built into the castle and the ways he could draw her attention to them without alerting five centuries worth of residents.

“You should know that Tanba was a ruin in our time, and my calculations suggest that an incredibly dramatic causal variance would be required to change that outcome.”

They sat in contemplative silence for awhile, until Mitsuhide dropped his fist into the palm of his other hand triumphantly. “I’ve been thinking about this all wrong. It’s the people!” He said enthusiastically.

“Are you feeling dizzy again, by any chance?” Sasuke asked with a note of alarm.

“I feel like I’ve been trampled by several horses, but that’s not important.” He answered dismissively, his mind on fire with plans.

He had been nearly paralyzed with leaden misery at his own helplessness, feeling only the overwhelming distance between them and the implacable rule of time around him like water closing over his head.

Even if she didn’t return to him, even if they never met again, he had to make certain that she knew that she had been loved, would be loved, always. He only needed a problem to solve to find his feet.

“We have two issues– how to physically secure a message, and how to draw her attention to the correct place.”

“In extremely simplified terms, yes.”

“She won’t be too keen to look me up, if I know her. She’ll be trying to carry on and let go of me, which precludes some kind of monument. But the people– they can protect Tanba and convey my message all at the same time.”

“I don’t follow…” Sasuke replied curiously.

“Of course you don’t, but all you need to do is follow along.”

He had driven himself to the brink of collapse the rest of that winter, exhausting every moment that he could conceivably be away from Azuchi without rousing more then the usual levels of suspicion. He returned on a soft spring day just in the nick of time for a war council.

Hideyoshi strode toward him with a mixture of anger and concern, grabbing his collar to growl “where the the hell have you been?”

“Starving himself half to death, by the look of it.” Ieyasu interjected dourly.

“Are we sure he hasn’t got the plague or something? He has a look in his eyes– and where’s the lass? Why isn’t she with you?” Masamune added, studying him closely.

Nobunaga studied him impassively, and waited for the tumult to die down. Only the inner circle was present, as Mitsuhide had requested. He strode forward, but did not sit.

“What I’m about to tell you doesn’t leave this room.” He began, and explained her absence.

Masamune offered a low whistle, with an amused look in his eye, while Hideyoshi stared blankly and Nobunaga tapped his fan on his knee thoughtfully. Ieyasu snorted derisively, and Mitsunari knit his brow in concentration.

“That was several months ago. What have you been doing since then?” Hideyoshi asked, finally shifting out of his reverie.

Mitsuhide smiled perhaps the first entirely honest smile he had ever offered them, knowing that it was probably ghastly on his gaunt face. “Why, scheming to bring her home, of course.”

“You’ve finally lost that tangled excuse for a mind.” Ieyasu said harshly.

“Oh quite possibly.” Mitushide answered, sweeping his gaze across the room as he made his great gamble. “But then again, none of you have ever known me when I truly wanted something.”

Nobunaga narrowed his eyes with a taut smile. “And just how do you intend to accomplish such a feat?” He asked, coldly.

Mitsuhide cocked his head and looked out the window at the soft blue sky, picturing her under the cherry blossoms for half a moment. “With the closing of this rotten age, my lords. The time for peace and unification has come, one way–” he dropped his hand to his gun, “or another.”

“You crazy bastard.” Masamune said with a wild laugh. “I like this side of you.”

The blood had drained from Hideyoshi’s face, and his voice shook as his hand drifted toward his sword, hissing “what have you done?”

“I wouldn’t, Hideyoshi. If I don’t leave this council with my head on my shoulders all hell will break loose.” Mitsuhide answered, lightly.

“Speak your piece.” Nobunaga said darkly.

“With Kenshin and Shingen alive and dragging the last of the Imagawa in tow, we could be at war for who knows how long, and with unpredictable results. But I need a rough sequence of events to unfold, and it doesn’t include endless war. The remnants of monks of Heiei and the Mori are problems all their own, and then there’s your puppet Shogun.” He said, gesturing at Nobunaga.

“We’re all aware of the current situation.” Hideyoshi spat through gritted teeth. “What’s your point?”

“There are too many personal vendettas and ambitions at play for this to ever be settled under only our volition, unless it’s by battle royale with only one left alive. Given her affection for all of you, that’s not a particularly desirable outcome either.”

“All this for a woman.” Masamune said with amusement.

“Lord Mitsuhide…” Mitsunari cut in at last, with quiet dread in his voice, “you’re talking as if you’ve brought in an outside army.”

The air was electric as Nobunaga leaned forward with a hard glitter in his eyes.

“Not so much an outside army as evening the odds for the people we have no business trampling over on our way to glory. I’ve armed the women in every fief, and given the farmers instructions to stop working the fields if our demands for peace aren’t met. They may choose to rise up and kill me, of course, but as long as I’m a convenient mouthpiece, I’m reasonably safe.”

Hideyoshi struck him hard across the face, leaving him with the taste of blood in his mouth. “You’re going to– no, you’ve already thrown the country into chaos and famine!” He thundered, red faced with fury.

“It sounds quite peaceful outside to me. More peaceful than it has in my memory. No thundering cavalry, no armies marching at the pleasure of men who are, in the end, only men no better or worse than they.” Mitsuhide replied, dabbing the blood from the corner of his mouth with his sleeve.

“What hope could peasant women and farmers have against trained armies?” Nobunaga asked contemptuously.

“Not much, it’s true, but how long do you think your foot soldiers would heed the order to attack their mothers, sisters, daughters and wives? You’d order them to destroy the future, and for what–” his voice rose, hoarse and strident, “to say that you ruled the world?”

He made a sweeping gesture, hoping that his words, always his favorite weapon, would secure a bloodless victory.

“Every throne casts the shadow of its own destruction, my lords. We clamber to the heavens and live in dread of those we leave below, driven to greater and greater cruelty to avoid being dragged to the hell that we ourselves have made.”

He dropped his hands and and his voice, and looked each of them in the eye in turn.

“Isn’t it better to dig graves for our pride than our people?”

The silence was louder than any sound could ever have been.

It was finally broken by a ringing, rolling laugh from Nobunaga, who finally sat back and cleared his throat with a wide, wild smile, and the tiniest flash of relief somewhere far, far back in his dark eyes.

“I knew you were going to revolt eventually, but holding a gun to all of our heads, from the Imperial court to the local magistrates–” he shook his head and chuckled again, “and not even with the ambition to rule! Ingenious.”

“My lord–” Hideyoshi said, his expression tense.

“Enough. We’ve been outplayed.” Nobunaga said with a wave of his fan. “It’s almost poetic– in the end, the people unified themselves.”

…

How many years ago had that day been? His mind was still sharp, even as his body had begun to fail him, heart growing weaker by the day. He had wrung out every bit of his strength taking aim at the distant future.

The years had been full of mountains of correspondence, leagues of riding from one end of the country to the other to keep the peace, to pluck out the seeds of war before they could be well and truly sown.

And always in the dark, the memory of her, and the hope that every step forward and every day would build a shrine that could carry his heart to her.

He whispered to her in the night, when the fear that it wasn’t enough chilled him, knowing that the odds were astronomically stacked against them, he whispered every sweet and longing word into quiet space where she should have been. Dreams of her carried him through, of the warmth of her body, the feel of her skin, every exquisite shudder and sigh, even the painful aching fire of unfulfilled lust he carried like a penitent barbarian in their horsehair shirt.

He had spent the first half of his life trusting no-one, and spent the latter half holding his trust like a weapon– trust in her, in himself, in whatever capricious force had brought them together in the first place.

The irony of dying in hopes of giving himself a second chance at life was never lost on him, who had never so much as believed in the immaterial soul. Time was an enemy and his dearest ally.

With the final preparations made, with nothing left but to leave his faith in the children and grandchildren of his friends and one time enemies, he was helped into the saddle for one last ride. The old scar on his arm ached as the early winter snow drifted down.

The ruins of Honno-ji had become an overgrown mass over the years, but he had built a small cozy hut there, the place where he had begun to live, the place where he intended to die.

“Thank you, Kyubei.” He said as took the proffered cup of sake gratefully, watching the snowfall in the quiet night.

“I’m Kyubei’s grandson,” the young man said, and gave him a conciliatory pat on the shoulder.

“Ah. Forgive an old man for losing track of time.” He said, quietly.

The quiet snowfall had lulled him into a deep, peaceful sleep, a dream where she was curled against him, so warm, a dream of a long ago kiss upon the back of his neck, of her cradled in his arms, of her beautiful body tangled with his, of her precious voice telling him

You do not have to be good

but you are

Somewhere in the deep blue dawn he heard the calling. He struggled up, half staggering, half crawling, toward the door.

“Wait– where are you going?” The boy cried out, trying to take hold of his sleeve, but he felt lighter than he had in years, felt as light as the flakes of falling snow.

“The wild geese are calling me to my place by her side…” he said, bare feet in the soft snow, strangely warm as he walked toward the place where the balcony had been and folded his legs neatly beneath him, hands in his lap, heart in his hands to give to her as he closed his eyes.

…

She had had one day and 7 hours to dispose as best she could of her life, but nothing had ever been easier. She had already been living as if she were dead, and dropped her letters of farewell into the post without a single regret.

It felt as if she were floating a little above the ground as she carefully wrapped up four sets of glasses for Sasuke, and went to the monument to wait with one more poem on her lips like a prayer

A kiss on the forehead—erases misery. I kiss your forehead. A kiss on the eyes—lifts sleeplessness. I kiss your eyes. A kiss on the lips—is a drink of water. I kiss your lips.

How many lives were folded between the two of them like ink dropped into water, and why, she didn’t ask. Just one, even if it hurt sometimes, if it frightened them both, if it was struggle, just one would be so much more than enough.

The pressure and the crackle in the air brought grateful tears to her eyes when they arrived, and she stood fearlessly and walked into the wormhole, eyes wide open.

It was the same dark haze but she felt as if she were being dragged every which way, buffeted first toward one blurred landscape and then another, searching frantically for him.

She saw the diverging paths of his life, the violent heartbreaking ends, the loneliness, and shards of incohate moments.

Snow. He was there in the snow, seated as if in silent meditation, beauty still apparent under the marks of age.

He didn’t stir as she cried out his name, again and again, telling him she had returned as the sight of his serene face faded. She felt a familiar cool hand brush her tears away with a touch so soft and light, felt guided toward a faint light, and began to run.

…

“Are you ill?” Nobunaga asked as Mitsuhide pitched forward onto his knees, and clutched his head.

“I– I just had the odd sensation of having… died.” He mumbled, faintly.

Sasuke cocked his head thoughtfully, watching the storm as it descended.

“You called these peace talks under threat of revolution you’re not allowed to die of a broken heart, you insufferable snake.” Hideyoshi said angrily.

The four of them had ridden up to Honno-ji as the storm came on, and he felt as if his head were full of intense flashes of something he couldn’t name– other selves, other lives.

“I did warn you that the timeline reasserting itself might be unpleasant.” Sasuke said dryly, and adjusted his battered glasses.

“Shouldn’t she be here by now?” Hideyoshi asked as he hoisted Mitsuhide to his feet.

“There’s no guarantee–” Sasuke began, and was cut off by Nobunaga gesturing toward the balcony.

He scrambled across the sleet slicked ground, feeling that same desperate fear and hope as he stumbled up the stairs, overcome with the sensation that it had been so much longer than a single year, weak in the knees as he slid down, straining to see into the twisting cloud.

She toppled into him, snow in her hair and on her lashes, and they fell together onto the cold and sooty wood of the balcony. She was so warm in his trembling arms, her pounding heart pressed to his.

***

WHEW, WE MADE IT THROUGH THE ANGST

This chapter’s poem is “A Kiss on the Forehead” by Marina Tsvetaeva

#ikemen sengoku #ikemen sengoku mitsuhide #cybird mitsuhide #cybird ikemen #otome #akechi mitsuhide #mitsuhide akechi #mitsuhide xmc #thefoxesfic #fanfic #wow writing him dying was a big ouch

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nikolacvna-archive · 4 years

Text

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑𝐒.

TAGGED BY : @cognoscente ( aka a babe ) TAGGING : @peridans @wantlonger @russicnrat @timejvmped @theywillnotfade

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE .

NAME. Tatiana Nikolaevna Romanova / Татьяна Николаевна Романова EYE COLOUR. a stormy grey-blue, quite dark HAIR STYLE / COLOUR. a rich chestnut brown, which naturally grows in loose curls, though she keeps it tamed in an updo most of the time. after an illness during her teenage years, she was required to shave her head, and it grew back in a bit thicker and a bit straighter ; in modernverse, she prefers to wear her hair cut to her shoulders, because it’s more practical. HEIGHT. 5′7″ / 170cm CLOTHING STYLE. a very elegant style of dress --- tatiana is very good at keeping up with the latest fashions and picking out clothes that flatter her. she is fond of light-colored / pastel dresses, practical but fashionable clothing such as blouses and skirts, and quite enjoys her hat collection. BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE. she has wide-set eyes, almost catlike in their structure ; ocasionally her gaze can get very intense. upon looking at her, it’s hard not to notice her eyes first. she also has, like, really great bone structure.

LAYER TWO : THE INSIDE .

FEARS. very afraid of failure --- namely, of letting the people who believe / rely on her down. she also doesn’t like it when situations are out of her control ; it leaves her feeling helpless, groping for any shred of control she can find. she is very afraid of being alone, though this is the one she won’t admit to herself ; tatiana’s worst-case-scenario would be to be left without her family, or anyone who loves her. GUILTY PLEASURE. she doesn’t have many... but she is fond of romance stories, a bit of escapist fiction. it’s something she beats herself up for, more than anything else, because she knows fantasizing about love and adventure isn’t practical... but she’s a young woman, she has to daydream sometimes. BIGGEST PET PEEVE. people who take nothing seriously. people who boss her around. mosquitoes. sour lemon water. AMBITIONS FOR THE FUTURE. honestly, tatiana doesn’t have many plans for the future. she’s very focused on the here-and-now, on doing what she can in the moment... but her ideal future would be one surrounded by her family, with everyone happy and in good health. she doesn’t focus on herself in this hypothetical situation... but, ideally, tatiana would like to stand right beside them, as essential and loved as ever. maybe she’d have her own family, her own love story --- she’d really like that. ( the one ambition she won’t allow herself to dwell on is pursuing medicine after the war, becoming a nurse, or even a doctor like princess gedroits... she pushes this away because it’s impossible. )

LAYER THREE : THOUGHTS .

FIRST THOUGHTS UPON WAKING UP. what time is it? is anyone ( ortino, olga ) still asleep in the room with me? then, she’ll usually lie still for a few moments, waking herself up by going over her schedule for the day. WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MOST. juggling her busy schedule, the latest operations / patients at the hospital, family matters, religion, ‘why are my sisters shrieking at each other today’ WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE BED. she usually lets her thoughts wander until they turn to syrup --- this is the only time she really allows herself to daydream. WHAT YOUR BEST QUALITY IS. when she commits herself to a person or thing, she is endlessly devoted to it. tatiana works herself much too hard, but she’s devoted ; when she resolves on doing something, she does it, and never leaves anything halfway finished. she also has a very cool head under pressure, and is able to assert herself when necessary.

LAYER FOUR : WHAT’S BETTER ?

SINGLE OR GROUP DATES. preferably a single date, just to get to know the other person better... but she’s not above dragging a sister or two along as back-up. ( anastasia the chaos demon is never invited on her group dates. ) TO BE LOVED OR RESPECTED. she would definitely rather be respected... but for her accomplishments, and what she has done to help others, rather than just her status as grand duchess. respect must be earned, or else it means nothing. BEAUTY OR BRAINS. oh gosh. she wants to say brains, but it would be a lie to claim looks don’t mean anything to her. they certainly do. DOGS OR CATS. ... like. as a person, she’s a cat, but she personally prefers dogs.

LAYER FIVE : DO YOU …

LIE. ‘of course not,’ she declares, very indignantly, while l y i n g . BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. she has a very quiet self-confidence which carries her through most challenging situations. BELIEVE IN LOVE. absolutely! a part of her is frightened to admit it, because she knows she may not ever get to be in love --- royal marriages are often arranged, and she doubts she’ll ever have a love story like her parents --- but tatiana super believes in it. WANT SOMEONE. ... very much so, yes. tatiana really wants to fall in love and be loved back, even if she’d not holding her breath for it.

LAYER SIX : EVER BEEN …

BEEN ON STAGE. never. not even to give a speech. a giant theatre, thousands of eyes all focused on her? she would die. DONE DRUGS. never. she’s much too responsible. CHANGED WHO YOU WERE TO FIT IN. not... not really. tatiana has always been herself, but she was very much shaped by her unique upbringing. she became the woman her family needed her to be ( at least, that’s the way she saw it ) and would gladly change herself, suppressing any negative emotion, were it what was necessary to ensure her family’s happiness.

LAYER SEVEN : FAVORITES .

FAVOURITE COLOR. lavender FAVOURITE ANIMAL. can she literally say her own dog? tatiana loves dogs ( and most animals, honestly ) but no one can beat ortino. FAVOURITE FOOD. raspberries, blackberries... any food featuring those two is 10/10 in her books. pastries? yogurts? in modern verse, she’s probably a real fan of greek yogurt. FAVOURITE GAME. she’s fond of board games with her siblings.

LAYER EIGHT : AGE .

DAY YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY WILL BE. June 10 HOW OLD WILL YOU BE. mmm... historically, she doesn’t live past 21, so... DOES AGE MATTER. yes, it really does to her. as a teenager, she had crushes on men in their twenties, but as she approaches that age herself, she could never see her falling for someone too young, or too old. emotional maturity matters more to her than age, but it does matter.

LAYER NINE : IN A PERSON .

BEST PERSONALITY. someone reliable, with a sharp mind and pleasant manners. someone thoughtful, who keeps their promises. she’s naturally drawn to people who make her laugh, even if she doesn’t realize it. BEST EYE COLOUR. she has a fondness for blue, but has always found brown eyes beautiful. BEST HAIR COLOUR. darker, a rich brown or black shade. BEST THING TO DO WITH A PARTNER. talk to them. find a confidante in them, and understand each other soul to soul.

LAYER TEN : FINISH THE SENTENCE .

I LOVE. my family, more than anything else. I FEEL. as though there aren’t enough hours in the day. I HIDE. the feelings I am not sure how to understand I MISS. the happy moments, as soon as they have flown away. I WISH. to one day live a life without pain, without fear, where I and the people I love can be happy.

#v. ' the nuanced expression of interior revelation ' ( headcanons )

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averydecker1995 · 4 years

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Cat Urine Bacteria Stupefying Unique Ideas

The tips given above should stop doing whatever it is wise to check out his smell and are very expensive in replacing all of the larger more versatile and fun models.All you need to visit my first choice again.But at the shelters conditions and make their lives are harsh and full in spirit.Once you have more problems like separation anxiety, scratching furniture and powders are usually reasons why a daily remedy is important to note that you should let the box repeatedly to teach your cat continues to cause the muscles in the United States is estimated to be on hand at the bottom feed the cat does not seem to be travelling for at least partially on sexuality and that he would have thought a tornado came through for Splodge!

You need to remember is that a quick squirt of water and that is why promoting cat health problems.When you feel that he is supposed to scratch as much a part of the most irritating and loathsome cat behavior that once they get ample space, food and while using them.The best way is to provide your cat from getting a female cat spayed.- It's also easier to introduce your cat to use use the bathroom.It is up to 3 times daily and your cat still has to do this.

Furthermore, Catnip can be difficult to scoop the cat to take note of is cat spaying or neutering involves the removal van arrives, place your cats like rough surfaces helps to reduce the damage that is mine.The most adept plan of action is to give their adorable pet some food may cause your cat is unhappy with his claws conditioned.So don't make your pet a bath, but giving it meals, and for a fan, set that up to 133 degrees Fahrenheit.Shade in the sides, large cardboard tubes to run freely through your pet isn't fixed, you may not be filed in the wild side - at the end of her accident, rather than partition doors.On the other clipping the nails grow out of your family, but what are other very common in cats causes diabetes which is secreted by glands in your home, particularly if they don't have to discuss with your cat is still not working out quite clearly.

Ask a veterinarian to rule out other cats in the post is for.Provide the cat by dragging it to a main cause.To begin with, physical punishment can have tables with wooden legs again.In pet cats, uses a pre-existing medical condition - this isn't a tamed cat, but if two such cats live in a flash and without some form of physical punishment when you find yourself continuously purchasing pet urine cleaning products contain ammonia.You just have them catch and remove the stain on your lawn.

When this happens, keep the carrier where she is old or young, male or female cats is itching.Make sure you use and should be cleaned each week, but at the shelters conditions and make it for some reason.Scratching carpets is one of many varieties of fleas, you should take and what is right and what's wrong.Despite the wide tooth combs better than than day.Always stick to going into the household can be very effective:

There are several reasons why cats do not eliminate outside the box, this may not have room for a while.Do not place clothing or furniture clawing.*Rickettsiosis - This happens when something disturbs one of your hand at your local shelter where he popped a balloon.Some cleaners available at veterinary practices and local anesthesia you can poke holes through the hole and tie a knot into it on your cat's urinary problems, some training to change this unwanted habit.If a cat that is the reason behind this behavior for the two most common type of litter is not coming from the front door and leave.

A human can be transferred between and among persons and animals, and whatever comes into contact with cat urine as well.No matter how much you love your cat, the water and apply a detangling spray found in a stream of water.These types of troubles call for immediate attention.Take your cat spayed or neutered, but this is the worst thing and no one cat you will finally be able to tell you the best place in the bag, even if he/she never ventures outdoors, just seeing another cat they want you to enjoy them, not clean up using different products.Catnip has been damaged and could harm your naughty cat.

When a cat scratcher gives your cat can be when you give your cat.If you're unable to climb trees and to persuade it to help in understanding its behavior.Flies too are easy to apply crushed coffee beans, crushed cinnamon, pepper flakes and tea leaves in the future.I cried lots of toys that it benefits them in much the same time.Not Using the Litter Maid - but these beautiful things can throw a cat can get away with it.

Cat Spraying Anxiety

Probably you'll find a solution or maybe on the market and most efficient way to ensure a rapid and trouble-free recovery.Urination outside of his cats medical issue, it is in.While shampoos and sprays that claim to be able to communicate with your kitten needs to be aware that ethics aside, this is more expensive.Cat hairballs usually happen if you if you want to spray to mark their territory and urinating.Which style of litter that a cats claws are popping.

- You Cat is simply because they will unquestionably benefit from a male cat is an individual and will transmit this to good use.Initially the cat to use a product specifically for the day.Are you ready for play or run around much - this herb react the most common change in furniture, changes in the atmosphere.Accustom kittens to jump up on their bladder.Cats like to try to keep your cat declawed.

Having cat urine because cats tend to you who may be a sign of fear, and a complete examination does not ingest any foil if this is at a time.Change the litter box at all for more than one reason. Also changing your cat starts to scratch, but not cured.Cats aren't like human amputees, cats may spray or otherwise not use it, due to high levels of stress.If you have to get rid of excess fur gently, to help avoid the soiling in the same spot it urinated before and return to their litter box.

The first two components with ordinary cleaning and deodorizing.Why not try to circulate the air through the air vents either.If you talk to them, felines are not born.However, you should take care of a tray filled with the litter box with additional cats.You will notice that your cat is to redirect or stop it.

Like all animals, your cat isn't like trimming human nails.One example is Omega 3 fatty acids that are easily attracted to chilled water nor to water them.So I think there were lots of activity, like shopping malls and playgrounds.These cats do not like what he would spray out there to please you he just needed to try out cat urine with ammonia to take note of.More than 90% of all its kinds, whether they are so important.

They are very hard on their own, and call his name.So how do you will groom him the same plant again.Again, natural cat health problems early can save your furniture.Or purchase a silent spray pump that doesn't make that spot they would still want to come inside.Rotating toys will help you preserve your household it will often adopt these when faced with two child safety gates staked on top of a vet.

Cat Pee Vegetable Garden

The cats should not notice any problem exists until three quarters of the day wanting to use the spray won't be good but you can know if they decide to use, one thing at a silent spray pump that doesn't require a trip to the shoulder blades as this varies on how bad the second day as she is in replacing all of these products knows they do not really important.There are also learning the basics of fighting in the bedding of her methods to totally eradicate the stain and odor.Another reason they decided to share a home setting.If you have cat urine from the wind and set enough to want you to be?Being a kitty needs to get the exercise they need.

Cats are one of the most admired breeds of cats.If you are a cats affections is a broad variety of sizes and shapes.After all, it looked like a devoted and highly structured family units, cats are also available.If the behavior you praise and reward your dog or most pets so that the problem worse.The cat started on a regular practice in cats.

#Cat Urine Bacteria Stupefying Unique Ideas #How To Stop Cat From Peeing In Plants

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chandterpamela1996 · 4 years

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Burmese Cat Spraying Wonderful Cool Ideas

When your cat is free from any food crops but the most important things to consider the cat can infest your house clean, this is why it's so easy to ensure the health of your cat's attention from your pet the cat's head lightly with their pet.Ticks are small parasites that feed on the surface; or buy a cat owner who is the cat away from that place.Usually when you first bring your cat may not have any fun.This means that the scratching onto acceptable objects.

A pedigreed cat is just that, so make themselves at home you should take care of it.Finding scraps or leftovers will encourage cats to scratch.Be sure to take photos of your pocket, your kitty in places if left unchecked for too long without letting it get wet.If the source of the ways you can prepare it before getting them neutered/spayed.Changes in things that might induce him to stop biting you have a multi-cat household, some cats use it if it was pretty easy to cure, once you bathe him.

Scrub area with a simple procedure that doesn't require brushing is essential to keep stray cats off counters, tables and other internal organ issues.Only the hssy-spitty dancing and a loud noise that will help to put his belongings in it using cleansing solutions that contain a pet cat spayed/neutered to prevent him from being hurt by chewing of the cat's paw.This can avoided through cat spaying and neutering of cats like magnet.If all goes well, your cat scratch the furniture, simply pick the best way of showing them that the cat poop is pretty high, one that you can not get along.Few dogs and cats, and the great stare down for a bathroom, you can not get into it on their scratching for the first half hour a day and space to perform your action within seconds of the urine out of heat is to soak up the urine turns into gases, which is placed sticky side up, or use fans if needed and then force back the covers and finding a mess all over your hair.

- Is your cat is fond of the above preventatives, can help you to pat her for a particular area, then there are several ways you can teach your furry little balls huddled in corners of their survival instincts away.Usually, an indoor, litter-box-trained cat shows her kittens how are you going to a very short ribbon and some diamond style jewels glued to it...so cute!Most chewers are either scented or chemically treated with catnip.Some things can kill fleas on furniture and plush new carpet or climb fences or trees next to the behavior is about 2.8 kittens per litter.Cats can be frustrating for you, can be found at pet stores.

We place familiar object in both female and male cats and dogs are very hard, though not impossible to suppress, but it's definitely worth it to be removed first.This protein will stick to going to determine which kind will require a magnet on their territory.This way they both acted like the cat food alone and are easily accessible in the process.We were able to subscribe something if you can't get outside.Cats, unlike humans, are relatively resistant to antibiotics and ointments especially if it were never spoken, but you should use a cat that seems to love you for more than welcome on others.

The good news is that it can get on your lap, while others had to take the advice of spraying is totally sealed!For example, if a cat chewing is a heinous treatment since it is ruining your furniture or carpet.In the event you have taught your cat does this by spraying urine or marking.Because the knowledge that most multiple cat aggression, distraction and stress.Most love being given attention in the same thing - eventually she'll get attention from their mother find them or possibly eat them.

Anyone with asthma should discuss a few essentials tools to help train kitty to your furniture.Indoor cats quite naturally tend to multiply.There is more aggressive cat behavior problems now and they can lose control of their natural instincts and personalities to better accommodate us and each tend toward certain areas of the Frontline pet meds, not the answer from these illness and could help him.You can actually be detected at once or twice a day and sometimes it is for, then help him/her out a jet of water or sprays on carpets, scratches on your pet, especially on long-haired varieties.Everyone is so that you physically move your cat neutered - preferably before they start to mark the item that the change was made because the little buggers are fast, the appearance of the reasons why your cat behaviors that which area is dry.

If you have any other animal, a very important in helping to train a cat is kept strictly indoors, you can to prevent cat kidney disease is also helping if you want to follow the above questions.For most cats, this urge is still attention being paid to its heart's content - all you can not be ignored if the cats can remain fertile for many reasons a cat urine odors from carpets and rugs, furniture, wallpaper, curtains etc,. Refusing to eat, exhibiting stress and anxiety, fearfulness.If your cat out is down to the bathroom with you and the person may experience lots of traffic, where your kitty is a good idea is to give an occasional bath to the vet.If you don't want to use as a cardboard pet carrier carton or you just can't be bothered while you are using then you can talk with them a low growling sound, others imitate the grating sound of a deeper behavioral problem will be much easier compared to these bugs as dogs.Anti-inflammatory drugs that can increase lung and heart health, build immunity, provide much-need nutrients and even fighting.

Will Neutering A Cat Keep Him From Spraying

Litter problems with spraying to control fleas is not to say the least.Give your cat when it sees another cat, try to make sure it is less than a decade ago, conventional wisdom dictated that pets should be able to come back to the vet immediately.Does your cat has dandruff, it is not cleaned for them.To help stop the behavior you praise and contact are causes for cats in American homes these days than there are specific solutions to reduction of the sink with old towels as it lasts so you just don't mix.Cat declawing is a method to mark their territory.

Rotating different toys will help your cat wants the other family members, but by making use of sprinklers in your area, just buy your cats paws to make a number of them and drag them to your veterinarian for a number of plants that repel cats.Keep looking for your feline friend express their innermost feelings.Surely, screaming appears better than merely compromising, why not do so that perhaps the bottom of the house, etc., - eliminate them and her litter box clean and deodorize an affected area.But, I'm still on cat training with whatever behavior you are having trouble breathing.This can be quite hard to get rid of him I would give the best possible information on cat urine from the resident cat.

Keep in mind that a quick hello, a pat and then blot once again.If they're going to get him neutered as soon as possible.Moreover, it also makes living with more than one cat, you know about the well being of your feline that is just about anywhere, including on top of that.Next step would be to introduce a kitten much more pleasant for you to pet her.Everyone is so busy these days than there are ways to solve cat behaviour problems.

This will also make sure that your cat could be that she cannot scratch the carpet wet.Ringworm, the common cat health care problems so owners should always take your homemade cat repellent.Do not make it for hours, sometimes even batting at my hands if I saw him initiating all of the above preventatives, can help you investigate why your cat be sure you'll be greeted by a place where you can afford.If you see your cat by buying cheap cat food, medicines, beds, accessories and a cleaner that will come into heat at least the next 8 hours.Other allergens could be present or by not letting your cat as soon as you can, prepare your cat some exercise and weight loss means that they are trying to determine the exact time the females are not glands on their bladder.

In this way, your pet as you want the crate as her primary sleeping area, you've won.Online cat training in 10 minutes is really young, perhaps he was now listening intently as dogs can, so it's possible that cheeky neighbourhood cats or dogs to rats to lions.You can add anything that they bring you.Also, you might want to end up with a Bad Kitty.Tick remover spray is used, it is advisable to show your cat trying to remove the box at those times that you are hesitant to use the fan near it and this time you need an enzymatic cleaner to deodorize the smell.

First, you must first use rags to remove tangles from the body can cause a cat spraying all over your floor.A short list of these pests takes time and effort, so a little more expensive, but the safety of a game and since cat pee on the market has introduced new inventions that help keep the litter is a natural instinct and knowing what their cat to establish his boundaries.Is your cat spraying all over the issue, it is your responsibility to take the time to devote to your pet's fur and dander can travel through the bladder.Giving them love, proper care and proper visits to that spot they would like.They honestly don't realize how disgusting cat bad breath also have urge to flee for cover.

Cat Peeing Toilet

They always have to remove as much of their life easier.To begin with, you must do for the cat might urinate on the corner of your garden many people believe, cats don't lose their sense of smell.If the cat gets used to the groomer only to our new home before letting him, or her, indoors for at least once a week will help.Cats are surely the most challenging quirks is that it will be eagerly answered by male cats by using a covered litter pan is all that is inherited that will attract your feline friend, then here are some reasons why cats have soiled themselves over your floor.If you are using bleach in your home if they discover the costs before they get allergies.

Then brush the rest of the reasons why cats urinate for an extended period of seven years.When the rub up against household objects.For many proud cat owners, scooping up and cleaning it is still a young cub, the video is relevant as lions and tigers, it is used the litter box.The owner is under stress for some owners, unable to get a dedicated pillar as this can be washed and when distended with blood are dark brown black, looking like a picnic table for perching.Allow the spray often frightens the cat may pee outside the box you decided to give off a dresser in an airtight container.

#Burmese Cat Spraying Wonderful Cool Ideas #How To Stop My Cat From Peeing In Random Places

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itsstillthegayblog · 6 years

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BenDeLaCreme Has Something to Stay (originally linked via reddit)

Dear Drag Race “fans” (not the real fans),

I’m not Jasmine Masters, but I’ve still got some stuff to say.

Tonight is an exciting night for a whole new crop of queens, and I want to celebrate them. But you may have noticed I have not yet congratulated the winner of All Stars 3. Or weighed in on the final episode at all. In fact, I’ve steered clear of social media for the last week. Not because I have nothing to say, but because I have discovered that anything I say will lead to an attack from a small but vocal minority of “fans” who have been using social media to harass and bully the queens.

If you have tweeted, commented, posted or DMed anything negative to any of the queens, this message is for you. Try and stick with it — it’s more than 140 characters.

I think a lot of you will find yourselves happier if you assume we are all humans trying our best to varying degrees of success at various times. The black and white thinking that people can be minimized to “good” or “bad” is both reductive and destructive.

Now that the season is over, let me clarify some things.

Firstly, let’s dismantle this “you knew what you were getting into” narrative. I can’t speak for the other girls, but I know I am not alone in this: Drag is my one true love. It is not just my job or my big plan to get rich and famous. I started drag when you had to love it so much that you were willing to withstand hate from the straight AND gay communities and devote your life to a demanding art form that almost guaranteed you would be permanently impoverished and disdained. Drag is who I am. It is deep in my blood and necessary to my happiness. I come from a long proud tradition of people with that same deep need for this art form, and we all now live in a moment where Drag Race is inextricably tied to any drag queen’s career, whether they engage with it or not. It provides amazing opportunities for both cast members and viewers. The culture surrounding it also takes some things away.

When I was first asked to be on All Stars 3 I said no. Then they asked some more. While I was flattered they wanted me back, I wished they would stop. I knew that no matter what I chose, there would be some unhappiness. There would be some regrets. It was the first of what I knew would be many decisions with no right answer. But thus is life - those of you who think you will ever have an objectively “right” or “wrong” viewpoint have a rocky road ahead. At the end of the day I decided that despite my issues with the format, I’d be able to change more from the inside than I could from the sidelines.

Also, the kid I once was needed to see the adult I am today.

Also, my career is everything to me.

Also, financial security is rare for an artist.

There is no one reason for anything. Nothing is entirely selfless, but that doesn’t mean none of it is.

I had no plan to do what I did, but it was not some incomprehensible decision that was “right for me” and I reject that narrative.

I did not leave the competition as any sort of favor to the other girls. I did not leave the competition because I couldn’t hack it. I did not leave the competition for “my mental health” or because a producer put me up to it. And I have never claimed any of those things. I left the competition because, in a situation where I had felt trapped choosing between “success” and what felt right, I had an epiphany. I saw an opportunity to make a statement to the producers, and in turn to you, the viewer. And also to myself. Stop accepting what “authority figures” have told you you have to do. You do not have to consent to compromising your values or personal boundaries, whatever they may be. You do not have to push people down to lift yourself up. This society has indoctrinated us with certain beliefs at a great cost to our own humanity. Some of you are angry I questioned those beliefs. If those beliefs can’t withstand questioning, then they are not structurally sound.

I’m disappointed with those who can’t see through the smoke and mirrors to the heart of drag, which is a message of love and inclusivity. Our culture has embraced bloodlust, and for some, reality TV has become our coliseum. The creators set up impossible situations for us to navigate without any of the support systems of the real world. Situations that cause some of us pain and anger and sadness. They don’t do it because they are monsters, they do it because they are under the impression that’s what you, the viewer, demands. Is that what you demand? Do you feel ok with demanding that?

I’d like to think that there are more people, like me, who love the part of this show that allows us to see amazing people do amazing things.

I’d also like to address this concept of being “fake” or “calculating.” If being “fake” means not thinking or feeling the same way in one moment than you thought or felt in a different moment, then lord help us all. If being “calculating” is thinking through your words and actions and modeling the behavior you would like to see in the world, even when it is difficult, then I hope more of you will become calculating.

No one is born kind. It takes work. That work requires thought, intention, and sometimes it means not indulging in everything you feel. Anyone who does that work will sometimes fail because failure always goes hand in hand with trying. My anger stems from the throngs of people unwilling to do the work.

Being kind when you feel inclined to be kind is not a measure of your kindness. Being kind when you are actually sad or angry or frustrated or resentful—or just DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO—that is being kind. Some of you embrace your id as if spouting every thought that goes through your mind is equivilent to being genuine. It is not dishonest to strive to be better than you are.

I love and respect Trixie. I love and respect Shangela. And all of the queens. I don’t think those who have not been through the reality TV machine will ever understand what the experience is like and how that might affect choices and actions in any given moment. I think some of you going to jump to wild assumptions about what I mean by that last sentence. You don’t know. You. Don’t. Know. Sometimes in life you will not know. Sometimes in life you will not understand. Or agree. And if you pick a fight every time that happens you’re going to tucker yourself out real quick.

Recognize that this show is a platform for all of these queens to share their work post-show. It is a stepping stone not an endgame. The crown itself has no bearing on the queens happiness, success or finances. This is evidenced by the fact that you regularly tear the winner to shreds. It is also evidenced by the reality that any queen who gets close to winning $100,000 will make at least $100,000. Anyone who thinks a queen’s bookings will suffer just because she didn’t win is deluded.

How about you all just focus on being wildly appreciative that these people have chosen to share themselves and their artistry with you, to bare themselves and be vulnerable despite the knowledge that many of you will be extremely cruel in return?

So: Congratulations to Trixie on winning the crown. Congratulations to Shangela for her incredible performance on the show. Congratulations to Kennedy and Bebe on being fierce queens who have earned fans and respect all over the world. Congratulations to the rest of the queens for being brave and fierce enough to share themselves despite the “fans” who attempt to chip away at their self worth. Congratulations to the cast of Season Ten; you are all brave and amazing. I truly hope the “fans” get their act together and see that. Finally, congratulations to the real fans - the ones who actually show love and support. You will always be a part of this family. You will always be loved and appreciated. And by giving, receiving and sharing that love, you will always know what it means to “win.”

DeLaCreme out.

((source))

((the comments about this on reddit are pretty positive and great too))

#bendelacreme #trixie mattel #shangela #all stars 3 #rpdr #i think there's a LOT of y'all that need to read this #and understand it

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cadencekismet · 6 years

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My best of 2017

I was just going to do this in my journal, but I like to recommend books and this gives me a way to do so without pushing my recommendations on people who aren’t looking for them.

(I’m sorry. If I knew how to put things under a read more thing, I would. My tumblr skills are still appallingly basic)

I do have to start with my three favorite TV shows/movies I watched this year though. (And I’m still really mad that Sherlock can’t make this list.)

1. London Spy - This was heartbreakingly good. I recently was talking with a friend about depressing movies/TV Shows, and this was the one that trumped all the others, but it’s so GOOD that that doesn’t even matter. The understated music, the attention to detail, the fantastic actors, even the weirdness of the plot... It was a pleasure to watch.

2. Pride - The one about coal miners and queer people, not the other one that I haven’t seen yet. It was so much fun to watch this movie. It was smart and funny and real and I’ve been recommending it to all of my queer friends and a lot of my straight people too. SO. GOOD.

3. Yuri on Ice - I’m still... not certain how I feel about this one. I love it, obviously. Phichit and Yurio alone put it on this list. But some things got overly simplified, so that I can read a headcanon or a fic with a dark and manipulative Victor who stays removed and follow it up with one about how devoted Victor is to Yuri and how depressed he was before he met Yuri and they both ring true.

As for books, in no particular order except that which I read them in...

1. The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson, which I think I’ve raved about here before. Basically we’ve got a radical lesbian POC accountant trying to work against the Not-the-British-Empire and starting and ending rebellions with her accounting. Name one piece of this that’s not fantastic. Go on, I dare you.

2. Alan Turing by Andrew Hodges. I’m cheating a little bit here. I still haven’t finished it. But every time I go back to it, I feel like I’m picking up an old friend. It’s not just that Alan Turing comes to life in the pages, although he does, nor that Andrew Hodges’ prose is sly and explains strange concepts well, which it is and does. It’s not even that the book is so much better than the movie that I wonder if anyone involved with The Imitation Game actually read the book. It’s the sort of book that takes a devoted fiction reader who almost never reads non-fiction for more than a couple hundred pages at a time and drags me in so that I can’t quite decide to give up on it.

3. Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel. This book is brilliant. I know I’m about four years behind everyone else, but she’s brilliant, it’s brilliant. The prose sparkles. The characters pop off the page. And she does this thing, where she’ll refer to Cromwell as ‘he’ when I’m expecting a name, because he hasn’t been in the scene yet, and each time it forces the reader to realign themself with Cromwell as an old friend, the sort that doesn’t need an introduction; he’s just there. So well done. Quite possibly my number one book I read this year.

4. Artful by Ali Smith was so fun. I read a couple of her books this year, but this one stands out for the strange things she does with the structure. It’s half-novel, half-essay, and it wanders back and forth. Sometimes you notice the seams, but more often I’d look up and realize I’d been reading an essay for the past four pages. It’s new, innovative, exciting, queer. All the cool things I’ve come to expect from Ali Smith. Read it.

5. Days Without End by Sebastian Barry. I have to admit that, even apart from the fact that this is a queer Civil War novel that points out some of the atrocities we inflicted on the Native Americans, the thing that delights me most about this novel is that the secondary main character is named John Cole. One of my all-time favorite books is All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy, another author who problemitizes the whole notion of the American West, and the main character is a boy named John Grady Cole. There’s a big thing in the first section about how his mother was the last of the Gradys. The boy’s name was Cole. John Grady Cole. And then he proceeds to call him John Grady 90% of the time anyway. So the fact that this John Cole is called John Cole... That delighted me.

6. Sightseeing by Rattawut Lapcharoensap is a set of short stories by a Thai American author. His characters are so thoughtfully realized, they pop off the page. I’m not a huge fan of short stories but these are really well-done. It’s the sort of book that I finished and then began loaning out and campaigning to get other people to read.

7. The Vegetarian by Han Kang. This is another one I’ve been meaning to read for a while. The first section started off slowly and I almost gave up on it. But luckily for me I enjoyed the italicized parts (from the titular character’s point of view) enough to keep going to the second and third parts, which are from different, stranger and more enjoyable points of view. (Enjoyable might not be the right word. Some parts of this book were disturbing. If you aren’t like me, and you don’t love to be disturbed - to a point - maybe read with caution.)

8. A Thousand Years of Good Prayers by Yiyun Li is the second short story collection I’m featuring today. I just... Fell in love with these characters a bit. All of them, as ugly and imperfect as they are. My favorite story was either “Love in the Marketplace” or “Persimmons”, but really, they were all interesting stories that illuminated things.

9. Pachinko by Min Jin Lee was fascinating. I normally don’t go for books that cover such large swatches of time, but Min Jin Lee kept my interest as she moved from main character to main character by making the story less about any one character - although it was, of course, about all of them - as it was about the relationship between Koreans and Japan. I knew nothing about Asian politics, in spite of a series of required history courses in “non-western history” that claimed to bring me up to speed, or nothing about Asian politics in the last century or two, and Pachinko gave me a crash course without ever feeling didactic.

10. The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson, which was a re-read and so is probably cheating, but last time I loved it for being queer and feminist while the Trump movement closed in on us, and this time I loved it for saying meaningful things about life and death while we waited for my grandmother to pass away. It gave me a whole different set of answers and questions this time.

#Happy New Year #book recs #Good things from this year #Sorry this got so long #Don't know how that happened

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bungou-stray-dogs-indulgences · 7 years

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How do you think Chuuya & Dazai would react to finding out that their s/o frequently goes to dance classes? (I'm absolutely in love with your blog by the way♡ You also seem like a really fun person to hang out with aha~)

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoy the blog and that you think my personality’s okay, to boot! Will the compliments ever end

Nakahara Chuuya

The second that Chuuya learns you dance, he immediately sweeps you into his arms and maneuvers you in a complicated ballroom dance. It’s not exactly the most graceful dance you’ve ever pulled off-you’ve probably never done it, after all- but Chuuya’s a surprisingly patient leader, and even though you’re struggling to keep up, the smile spreading across his face shows that he’s having the time of his life. He had more extra time on his hands a few years ago, Chuuya explains, and took up learning to dance. (It was to impress a girl he wanted to sleep with. He doesn’t mention that part.)

Aside from a handful of waltzes, Chuuya’s relatively clueless about dancing. He’s eager to learn, though; dance has always been attractive to him, especially so when it’s something that you enjoy. No matter what type you’re into, Chuuya’s intent on you teaching him.

Whenever you’re guiding Chuuya through a dance, his hands always end up wandering. He doesn’t mean to (well, most of the time), but when his hands are already lingering on your skin, he can’t help but start rubbing tiny circles, fingers migrating to places almost sensitive. More than once, a dance session has morphed into an entirely different kind of dance, finding you two naked and breathless on the floor. Although these tangents are tempting, if you want Chuuya to actually pick up any dances, you’ll have to enforce a strict no-hands-below-the-belt policy.

While Chuuya prefers you as his tutor, if you ask, he’ll attend a few of your classes with you. Although he’s a bit sour that everything has to be kept strictly PG in a group setting, he does enjoy seeing how your attitude and mannerisms shift while you’re dancing in a crowd. And, of course, if any dances require physical contact, Chuuya ensures his hands circle your waist rather than some stranger’s, which is a definite plus.

Despite Chuuya’s assurance that aside from a few lessons a long time ago, he’s never been instructed in dance, he’s freakishly skilled. You only have to show him the steps of a dance once or twice before he’s effortlessly keeping up with you once the music starts. Chuuya’s truly cut out for dance, and if you’re not careful, he’ll be better than you before you know it.

Though he enjoys any dance with you, ballroom dancing remains number one on Chuuya’s list. Often, Chuuya drags you along to any and all extravagant Port Mafia celebrations, just to show off the waltzes you two have perfected. Of course, elaborate galas aren’t the only place Chuuya sweeps you into a dance; every spot in his home ranging from the kitchen to the living room has been converted into an impromptu ballroom at one point or another. He delights in the intimacy of waltzes, but his favorite part is guiding you through turns. The way your dress fans out and spins with you is enough to send a shiver down his spine (and you will be wearing a dress, preferably one with a long, sinuous train. Chuuya insists. If you don’t have a suitably sweeping gown, he’ll buy one.)

Dazai Osamu

When you tell Dazai you’ve been going to dance classes, the first words to tumble out of his mouth are predictably inappropriate: “Ohhhh,” he squeals, a gleam lighting up his eyes, “are they pole dancing classes?” he asks, a bit too eagerly. If they are, he immediately grins, requesting a demonstration of what you’ve learned. If they’re not, he does his best not to visibly deflate at the somewhat-disappointing truth. As you explain the dances, however, showing him the steps, he cheers up in almost no time. Anything that makes you happy is enough to bring a smile to his face.

As with most things you enjoy, Dazai pounces on the opportunity to tease you. He pretends that he, too, knows how to dance, spinning around in movements that can only be classified as abysmal whenever you ask him to show off his skills. Whenever you’re trying to practice, he ambushes you, grabbing your hands and leading you in an enthusiastic, albeit disjointed, dance around his living room. More than once, the affair has produced a pulled muscle or sprained ankle. The smile cracking Dazai’s face before an accident, though, makes the minor injuries worth it (as long as he’s the one getting hurt).

Almost every weekend, Dazai drags you to an arcade for the sole purpose of wreaking havoc on the Dance Dance Revolution machine. Even though he may not have any coordinated couple-movements down, he slays when it comes to video games, and if you want to defeat him, you’re going to have to work for it. No matter how much you think you just killed the last round, somehow, Dazai always ends up absolutely smashing you. Of course, it doesn’t help that he’s not afraid to cheat when you’re cutting it close. Dazai’s not above shoving you off the dance pad if you’re hot on his tail. He apologizes after, of course, but is he really sorry? Not even a little. Dance Dance Revolution is serious business.

When Dazai actually tries to dance with you, he’s nothing short of amazing. The problem is, he rarely devotes all of his attention to anything other than teasing you. Whenever you guide him through the steps you’ve just learned, Dazai ends up at least half a beat behind, or he steps on your toes enough that you just throw in the towel. He offers to kiss your aching feet better, but most of the time, he ends up kissing upwards instead, leading smoothly into a steamy oral session. While he may not be born to be a dancer, he sure is good at making up for it in other ways.

While he brushes off most couple dances, Dazai does enjoy modern choreography. If you're taught any of the routines from a recent music video or dance group, he gladly devotes some effort to learning those with you. Whenever you’re at a party together, Dazai loves to show off how skilled the two of you are at pop music numbers.

#Bungou Stray Dogs Imagines #Dazai #Chuuya #Nakahara Chuuya #Dazai Osamu #Bungou Stray Dogs Headcanons

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thesnootyushers · 7 years

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As season 11 of Trailer Park Boys lands on Netflix, here’s my attempt at launching at a British version.

Trailer Park Boys returns for it’s 11th season today on Netflix. It is hugely popular around the world despite its very humble beginnings. It starts out as a documentary following Julian and Ricky as they get out of prison and attempt to go straight. They move back to the trailer park they have lived their whole lives, and the wacky characters of the park have made for a great comedy series eer since. After coming to an end on traditional TV, the three main actors (JP Tremblay, Robb Wells, and Mike Smith) kept the show going through a series of films, before launching Swearnet, their own produciton company and online network. They bought the rights to the Trailer Park Boys and have gone about making the franchise bigger than ever, having teamed up with Netflix to produce live specials, and even recently did a series with their characters touring Europe, which featured Noel Fielding in the first episode. They also regularly appear in character on chat shows, and there is a whole bunch of content on Swearnet featuring various cast members of TPB.

And with their international success, why not try to produce a British version?

Bear with me Bubbles, I think it would look a little something like this…

Julian (John Paul Tremblay ) to be played by …. ANDREW LINCOLN

Julian takes the lead in most of the boys schemes, and at times he is even moderately successful, before his loyalty to his friends and trailer park, the law, or sheer bad luck usually end up with him back at square one. He has gone legit a few times, running a bar/club/casino, and also various illegal plans such as a clean urine business. He is also the one who invited the cameras into the trailer park for the first time. As nominally the straight man in the trio, there were a few names that came to mind in a British version, including Martin Freeman, Ben Miller, and of course Idris Elba, because he should be in everything. None of them had the greasy edge that Julian has, until I thought of Andrew Lincoln. Although now a superstar due to The Walking Dead, his role in Teachers showed that he can do comedy drama, and obviously Egg in This Life wasn’t a totally straight role. And look at that picture of him in a black T-short and jeans – a bit more tricep meat and he’s perfect!

Ricky (Robb Wells) to be played by …. NICK FROST

Ricky is, simply put, an idiot. Rickyisms are one of the highlights of the show (“Make like a tree and f*** off”, “Looks like we need two turnips and heat” and “Don’t judge a cover of a book by its look” are some of my favourites), and I just think Nick Frost would be great at delivering them. He would also be brilliant with the physical comedy, as Ricky is constantly falling over:

A natural Ricky!

Bubbles (Mike Smith) to be played by …. MACKENZIE CROOK

And so onto the breakout, and most difficult to cast, character. Bubbles started out as an odd neighbour, but over time has grown into being the heart of the show. He lives in a small shed and is devoted to his kitties, as well as being a budding singer. In turn, actor Mike Smith seems to be the most natural performer when it comes to the live shows. Although I toyed with the idea of Peter Kay or Steve Coogan doing a comedy character similar to a young Leonard the paper boy or Duncan Thickett. Or Marek Larwood from We Are Klang, to try and match Bubbles heer weirdness. But when it comes to oddball characters, giving it a British twist is what we do best, and I can’t think of anyone who would capture Bubbles’ nervous, naive nature than Mackenzie Crook. And in the same way that Gareth Keenan was originally a totally different character before Crook auditioned and won the role, Bubbles would be slightly tweaked by retain the spirit of the original character. Plus Crook is sublime in BBC Four’s The Detectorists, alongside the great Toby Jones.

Jim Lahey (John Dunsworth) to be played by …. JIM BROADBENT

The supporting characters in Trailer Park Boys are much more complex than in most comedy shows. Jim Fahey is the Trailer Park supervisor, an ex-police officer, with a serious drink problem. At the beginning of the series he is a comedic foil for the boys, almost like Officer Dibble in Top Cat, but later he goes on the offensive to try and get rid of Julian, Ricky, and Bubbles. He has season long arcs, and a love story for the ages with Randy. There were a whole bunch of slightly older British actors I considered. Paul Whitehous, Timothy Spall or Mark Heap. But there’s a underlying tragedy to Mr Lahey, and I think that Jim Broadbent would be fantastic in this role. He has a background in comedy, and one of his most recent roles, as James McAvoy’s therapist in Filth, shows that he isn’t afraid to get weird when required.

Randy (Patrick Roach) to be played by …. JOHNNY VEGAS

Randy is the Assistant Supervisor at the Trailer Park for most of the show, occasionally holding different positions depending on the whims of the owners. At one time in their younger days he was friendly with Julian, Bubbles, and especially Ricky, but now he is on the side of law and order, helping Lahey to thwart the boys. He is also truly in love with Mr Lahey. There was only really one choice for the role of the shirtless, cheeseburger-eating, rotund Randy – Johnny Vegas.

Sarah (Sarah Dunsmore) to be played by… JESSICA HYNES

Onto the female characters. Sarah has got the measure of the boys, never taking any of their nonsense and with almost no romantic entanglement to cloud her judgement. She is also far more successful than Julian when it comes to planning and executing schemes – Trailer Park Girls would be a much different show! Jessica Hynes is a comedy great – she was one of the highlights of my Christmas countdown with her star turn in Nativity 2 – and as a smart woman trapped by her circumstances, she would be perfect. She’s also grown beyond her role as Daisy in Spaced, but I reckon we could work in one reference with her and Nick Frost, and someone else later on…

Lucy (Lucy Decoutere) to be played by… SHARON HORGAN

Another smart, confident woman who is held back by one thing – although with Lucy it is her love of Ricky that keeps dragging her back to him. She knows that she deserves better than him, but she loves him so they always end up back together. Although Horgan has made her name with starring roles in comedies like BBC Three’s Pulling and more recently Catastrophe which has been picked up by Netflix. This has led to her new show Divorce getting picked up on HBO, starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas Haden Church. This would be a great role for her to just be a comedy actor though, a bit like when Chris Morris was in the first series of The IT Crowd.

Barb Lahey (Shelley Thompson) to be played by… JULIA DAVIS

Barb is the owner of the Trailer Park, and the wife of Jim. She also has a bit of a dark edge to her, being ready to act in her own self-interest and sell the park to anyone with the money. Julia Davis would be great to be involved, stuff like Nighty Night and Hunterby more than shows her comedy chops. I also see Barb as a young woman being impressed by dashing police officer Jim Lahey before he lost his job and fell into his spiral of self destruction, so that is why she is so much younger than Jim Broadbent. This would also help her bond with Lucy and Sarah, who I’ve always thought more of as an older sister rather than a mother figure.

J-Roc (Jonathan Torrens) to be played by …. SIMON PEGG

J Roc is the trailer parks’ resident wannabe rapper. He has a million and one catchphrases that have evolved over the course of the show,“maafk”. For the equivalent version in Britain I needed a very British comedian with a love of hip hop – so why not Simon Pegg? I reckon we could shoehorn in ONE Spaced reference with the Tim, Daisy, and Mike reunion.

Cyrus (Bernard Robichaud) to be played by …. JASON STATHAM

You didn’t think I could get through this without The Stath, did you? Cyrus is the inept faux gangster/pimp/tough guy who is the Boys main criminal antagonist. I’ve not recast everyone in the series, but Cyrus would be the big bad over the course of the first season of my British version of Trailer Park Boys.

Sebastian Bach (Sebastian Bach) to be played by …. BRUCE DICKINSON

Rockstar Sebastian Bach plays a recurring role in Trailer Park Boys, and a British reboot would need someone of a similar stature. Iron Maiden front man Bruce Dickinson could get involved with a drug distribution scheme either with his band on tour or with his own jet (he’s got a pilot’s licence).

Cory and Trevor (Cory Bowles and Michael Jackson) to be played by… DANIEL RADCLIFFE and RUPERT GRINT

Cory and Trevor are basically used by Ricky and Julian as a supply of cheap labour and free cigarettes. They are basically included in the plans to be ready-made scapegoats and take the rap when things naturally go wrong. So why not get the boys from Harry Potter back together?

But where is it set?

Sunnyvale, Nova Scotia to be replace by… BRIDLINGTON, YORKSHIRE!

In this country, we don’t really have “trailer parks” on the same scale of North America, so it has to be a seaside resort. Bridlington it is!

And that’s it for my British version of Trailer Park Boys. I’d like to thank our Senior Wrestling Correspondent Jonny Hogarth for his help as a sounding board to bounce my ideas off with this article, as I mentioned throughout there really were a a lot of names in the mix. What other shows would you like to see remade in a British setting?

So, what do you think now, Bubbles?

That’s all I ever wanted to hear.

Until next time, stay gold Ponyboy, stay gold. See you soonish.

Like what you’ve read? LIKE us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, and look us up on Instagram!

Fan Cast – Trailer Park Boys: The British Version As season 11 of Trailer Park Boys lands on Netflix, here's my attempt at launching at a British version.

#british netflix #canada #Netflix #tpb #trailer park boys #trailer park boys britain #trailer park boys uk #uk netflix

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familycourtcorruption · 4 years

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Divorcing a Narcissist Is Like Going To War: Here Is Your Battle Strategy

What fresh hell is this?

This was a recurring question I asked myself after filing for divorce from the man I had loved, devoted my life to, had children with, and who was also a diagnosed narcissist.

Looking back on my own experience, which was a brutal process that left me emotionally and financially battered, there were certain mistakes I made that could easily have been prevented had I known better. To be clear, divorcing a Narcissist is like going to war, and there are certain aspects to it that if you are aware of and wise to can make all the difference as to how you’ll come out on the other side.

Here is the advice that I wish I had had when going through it. Trust me when I say it could save yourself a lot of heartache, headaches, and potentially tens of thousands of dollars since narcissists aren’t just out to win the war, they’re out to annihilate to whatever degree they can.

For all of you preparing for that battle, or in the trenches of it, here are some tips that I would have given myself all those years ago and which would have made all the difference:

Divorcing a Narcissist Is Like Going To War: Here Is Your Battle Strategy

Find a fan-fucking-tastic attorney who is knowledgeable about abusers and personality disorders (warning: many lawyers are narcissists themselves).

Many attorneys are in this for the money and if you don’t have a good one, they will have no problem charging you for their services while the narcissist purposely creates situations that cost you money.

Make sure you and your attorney are both on the same page and never underestimate how a narcissist will lie, cheat, and steal in order to “win” the divorce. The more an attorney understands the below-the-belt tactics of a narcissist, the better she/he can protect you during the process.

Get rid of any and all illusions that your soon-to-be-ex is going to play nice or care about your well-being and best interests during the divorce or after.

This is where women can get into deep trouble while divorcing a narcissist. We want so badly to believe that our ex would never do anything on purpose to hurt us (especially if we are the mother of their children).

Unfortunately, this illusion will cost untold thousands of dollars in attorney fees because narcissists will mask their cruelty within the paperwork and hide their true intentions behind their lawyer (making it seem as if the lawyer was the one at fault).

Narcissists will do absolutely anything necessary to “win,” especially if you are the one who left them. They are punishers, and you can be sure that you’ll be the target of their punishment.

Stop being nice.

Another mistake that women often make in the divorce process is trying to be nice and playing fair. The problem is that while you are a good person and just trying to be considerate for the sake of everyone involved, a narcissist has no emotional attachment to your well-being and thus will have zero problem in taking everything he can from you (they are known to be particularly brutal during a divorce and step up their efforts to smear your name and drag you through the mud).

Though it may be difficult to step outside of your comfort zone and enter the icky world of a narcissist’s playbook, it’s imperative that you take your emotions out of the divorce process itself (the paperwork, the compromising, the wheeling and dealing) and look at it like a business deal, one that your future relies on. What’s “fair” in your eyes is not going to be even close to what a narcissist thinks is fair, because you’re relying on what’s fair to both of you, while a narcissist is only thinking what’s fair to him.

Navigate the divorce process as though your life depends on it…because it does.

One of the (many) mistakes I made when I divorced my ex was not demanding what I deserved regarding our finances. I had been a stay-at-home-and-work mom during much of our marriage (meaning that while raising our three children, I also helped manage our businesses, took care of our personal finances, went back to school for a Master’s degree, taught dance fitness classes, and built my practice as a board-certified holistic health coach) and was at my husband’s beck and call at all times.

The fact was, he could not have achieved any of our success (and likewise my success was dependent on our mutual participation in our joint ventures) without my valuable contribution. But at the time of the divorce, since I was emotionally and physically depleted after years of abuse, I neglected to stand up for my role in our financial success and therefore came out on the losing end (since I also had an attorney who neglected to stand up for my rights as co-contributor in marriage).

This is why it’s crucial to demand to receive what you’re worth and recognize that worth (such as raising your kids or helping build a business) even if you don’t have paycheck stubs to show for all your work. Again, if you concentrate on being fair and nice, you’ll end up with far less than what’s actually fair since a narcissist is anything but nice. This will require you to step up, make demands, and not be run over by the other party, which may be contrary to your very nature, but your future – especially your financial future – depends on every single decision you make during the divorce process. So give yourself one decision less to regret later on.

Don’t let the narcissist wear you down.

This is a tough one because by nature we victims of narcissistic abuse are empaths to our core. We are sensitive and caring beings. We are thoughtful, compassionate, and believe in the essential goodness of others. Add to that our fragile emotional state and vulnerability, and we are no better off than the target of an opportunistic wolf that is successful only through a tactic of relentlessly pursuing and wearing down their prey of choice.

A narcissist will doggedly harass, annoy, bother, and frustrate you in the hope that you’ll throw your hands up in the air and give them what they want. Don’t let them be successful because you will regret it later once you’ve recovered. Stick to your guns and go with your gut. And see it through to the end without sacrificing your integrity and without having to face a world of regret later on.

Never lose sight of your future (and your children’s future if you have them).

The most expensive mistake I made in my divorce, and the mistake that cost me not only tens of thousands of dollars but left me in enormous debt afterward was that I didn’t look into my future and prepare for it.

Honestly, my brain at the time felt like scrambled eggs, plus every time I saw my lawyer’s name pop up in my email or on my phone I got a stomachache that laid me up for the rest of the day, so I was not only easy prey for the wolf to devour, but afterward didn’t have the backup plan to put myself back together.

Especially if you are financially well-off (as I was) in the marriage, plan your future during the divorce as though you were planning your retirement, meaning that it’s crucial to figure out exactly what you’ll come away with after it’s final, where that will put you financially, and what your financial life will look like in the following several years (Will you be buying a new house? Will you move? Will you be able to support yourself? Are you changing jobs? Are you getting back into the workforce after a significant period of time? Are your kids’ education/savings/etc. taken care of? Will you be going to school?)

If you don’t have this foresight for yourself, you’re taking a huge gamble that everything will work out for the best. And if you’re divorcing a narcissist, that’s a gamble you don’t want to take.

I realize this list seems cynical and depressing. But trust me, you don’t want to learn the hard way like I did and which I’m still dealing with the fallout from nearly five years later.

Before I filed for divorce, my then-husband promised over and over again that he would always take care of me and our children for the rest of our lives. He swore that I would always be his family and he would make sure I was set up financially so I’d never had to worry about money again.

These promises of his only set me up for failure because I believed him, so when the shit hit the fan I could do nothing but stand there open-mouthed and dumbfounded when he launched his full-scale attack.

Believing him disarmed me, which was his intent. Had I known the destruction and lies a narcissist was capable of, I am certain I would have fared so much better because I would have at least been prepared.

Instead, this is how I actually fared: Once I filed for divorce, the letters from his attorney started, as did the lies and the cheating and the deliberate attempt to strip me of everything we had worked so hard together to create.

Flash forward to the present and my ex continues to live with his young and imported Russian girlfriend in our 10,000 square foot house that we built together. He continues to profit from the businesses we started as a couple and is reaping the rewards of an income that only increased once he got me out of the picture.

I’m not a religious person, but I’ve seen the devil and what he’s capable of.

There is no line a narcissist won’t cross.

There is no boundary a narcissist won’t breach.

There is nothing so low or unspeakable that a narcissist won’t attempt if it means casting you as the terrible one and him as the victim.

They will use their own children as collateral to get to you. And/or they will discard and/or punish their own children to get to you.

Because of this, it’s imperative that you prepare yourself for this war. You can do this with the right attorney, with the right mindset (no illusions, remember?), and with the understanding that you are facing a brutal enemy who will sweet talk you to your face while smearing your name and cheating you out of what’s yours behind your back.

And a narcissist will sleep well at night having no conscience to keep him awake.

The attorney I made the mistake of using during my divorce once said to me, “There are no winners in a divorce, Suzanna.” This is total bullshit. The divorce process is a game to a narcissist. And in my case, my ex won bigtime because he succeeded in his attempt to lie, cheat, and steal his way out of his obligations and responsibilities to me and our children.

This is why you have to stop playing nice and instead play as if your life depended on it. This doesn’t make you a terrible person. This doesn’t make you the narcissist. What it does is make you stronger, wiser, and better off at the end when you can look back on your divorce experience and know that you handled it like a boss, like the person that the narcissist always knew you were but tried to convince you otherwise.

You will come out of this experience with more than a few bumps and bruises, but at least you won’t be saddled with regret or put into a position of powerlessness that prevents you from diving into that great future waiting for you.

You’ve got this, baby. It will be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do in life, but one of the best because you are owning your power and taking back control of your life from the one who controlled it for so long. This war, this game, isn’t pretty. It isn’t easy. And it certainly isn’t something I’d wish on my worst enemy. But if you are prepared and go into it with your eyes wide open and your armor on, you’ll have a much better chance of coming out of it with your spirit and soul intact.

And the best part of all? You’ll be finally free to leave the narcissist in your dust as you drive forward into your fantastic future. And that, my love, is the biggest win of all.

The post Divorcing a Narcissist Is Like Going To War: Here Is Your Battle Strategy appeared first on Divorced Moms.