reading writing from other people who have also survived solitary confinement (in so many different places, prisons + institutions + more) and sometimes the grief overwhelms me. i feel such a strong connection through the page--they put words to this swirling mess of emotions that lies under my skin when i think back to those weeks. they've found a way to talk about what it does to you and what you become and what it's like to try to come back to the world afterwards. i still can't speak about most of it. some days i wake up panicking because my door is shut; I'm glad my walls are thin and my roommate plays music slightly too loudly at night--it's easier to fall asleep when i know she's there.
this quote: "I am filled with the sensation of drowning each and every day."
and this one: "When he walked out of the SHU, he saw his first tree in 12 years."
and this one: "Solitary confinement is a living death. Death because it is the removal of nearly everything that characterizes humanness, living because within it you are still you. The lights don’t turn out as in real death. Time isn’t erased as in sleep…"
(from shane bauer reporting on solitary confinement in California: x)
i don't have words for the kind of rage i feel when i think about all the people being tortured in solitary right now and every single fucking day; loved ones + activist acquaintances + people i have never met. i want to start breaking things. i want to tear it all down. some days i feel so incredibly guilty that i saw the leaves fall outside today--how is it that i get that and she's still in there. there are no words.
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
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Holy cow there’re a lot and I really do mean A LOT of Welcome Home AUs, and more coming too. Not saying it’s a bad thing, but it makes sense considering WH doesn’t have a lot to work with so it leaves tons of room for fans to play around with. I just hope it doesn’t get outta hand like what happened to Undertale with its AUs.
People are free to have creative liberty on what aus they wanna make- like you said there is very little canon content to munch on so people will pull a “fine I’ll do it myself” JCHFHDHU-
I personally don’t mind it as well, but I do enjoy the aus where they purposely change Wally’s height just to make him more simp-able LMAOO
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POV: You’ve been drawing for clients all week, and you finally decide to stop and draw something for yourself. Wyd? 👀
Anatomy practice
That present for your brother
Backgrounds
Hands
♡✨BUSTER MOON✨♡
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You know my ass isn’t coping well with finals when I suddenly pull out the silliest AU possible /lh
ANYWAYS, presenting ‘Working for E.V.I.L.’, a Sun and Moon show AU I wanna work on when I’m not doing Hive Au centric stuff :3c
[ID: A digitally drawn sketch of Au versions of Solar Flare, Bloodmoon and Eclipse from the Sun and Moon Show against a white background. To the left of the image, Solar Flare and Bloodmoon stand next to each other. Solar Flare holds up a hand, a star levitating over their palm. They have a circular head that’s surrounded by spiked rays, large triangular shoulder pads, eyes with a black sclera, and a set of air vents in their chest and mouth. They look down at Bloodmoon, an animatronic that wears multiple chains and belts over baggy pants and a ripped shirt. Bloodmoon also has horns, two devil-like tails, and a twin tailed jester hat. He looks towards the viewer with a wide, dangerous smile. In the upper right hand corner, there is a doodle of Eclipse an animatronic with a circular head and large rays that surround his head with smaller, smaller rays in between, he wears a sweater and a necklace with a star attached to it, sitting at a desk in front of an old box computer. Above him is a thought bubble that reads “KC is going to fire us.” Below that is a doodle of Eclipse speaking to Bloodmoon and Solar Flare over a headset, he says “Ive located another star, dont screw this up you two.” The very top of the image says “Working for EVIL.” With ‘evil’ being an acronym. /End ID]
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the ultimatum queer love feels like it’s specifically made to torment me by selecting the most obnoxious and questionable ppl there were that just so happened to be also gay
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